2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 52 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Tommy and Brent are doing standup together at the Rose Bowl on 10/28! Get your tickets at https://www.2bears1bowl.com/ Did you miss the XXL event of the year: 2 Bears 1 Cave LIVE!? You still have time to watch it. Get tickets here: https://ymhvirtual.com/ SPONSORS: - Get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free at ExpressVPN.com/CAVE - Go to Whoop.com and enter “BEARS” at checkout to save 15% - Go to MugsyJeans.com/2Bears and use code "2BEARS" for $10 off! Tom Segura and Bert Kresicher start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by recapping their recent tennis match, as seen on 2 Bears Live. They call Tom's tennis coach, Michael, to get his opinion on the match. The Bears also discuss Bert's other athletic abilities including archery, baseball, and basketball. Bert also pitches the idea that he should run for mayor of Los Angeles.

It's going down. Bert, Chrysher and I are doing stand up at the Rose Bowl. Go to twobears1bowl.com and get tickets now. October 28th, it's gonna happen at the granddaddy of them all. Twobears1bowl.com. Hey, if you miss the live show, you can still rent it the rest of this week. YMH virtual.com, we party. We party party.

Get tickets. Hey guys, my Netflix series, the cabin is streaming right now. Check it out. I hope you enjoy it. Ellis showed up. Tom Sun. Yeah.

And Tom grabbed me and he whispered in my ear and he goes, please don't tell him how bad you beat me. He'll never look at me the same. And I went, okay, I won't say it. It wasn't like that. Ha ha ha. All I said was don't tell him what happened. Don't tell him what happened. He wouldn't understand. He'll never look at me the same and I went okay, I won't say it wasn't like that All I say was don't tell him what happened

He wouldn't understand 100% I'm feeling sober and I'm feeling good. Hey happy sober October man. Hey man, same to you. How you doing? It's been a struggle. Yeah, yeah I I've been trying to up my milligram count every day. Yeah. So that's been tough. Just me, I've been drinking lots of coffee and water, and kettlebell swings working on my archery, and throwing my friends under the bus on social media.

That's what I don't want. I hope you guys have been having fun so rocked over. Oh, that's hilarious. Fucking. I've been doing it. I hope you guys have been having a fun sober October. Oh, that was hilarious. Fucking, so my inbox is just fucking filled. Why'd you bitch out? Why you a bitch, Bert? Why you such a bitch? Day the Goggins wouldn't have done it this way.

Cameron Haines wouldn't have done this. This is incredibly misleading. The idea that we missed out, where we bitched out on this. Incredibly misleading. Like incredibly misleading to the point that be real, if I had done this, because for the record when October started, no one had spoken about it,

I had reached out to Joe, NU, and Ari, two weeks, three weeks before Sober October, and said, hey guys, are we doing Sober October? Yeah, and I would even answer. It was radio silence, and I was like, okay. And when the idea of this came up like a month or two ago, everybody, including Joe was like, I'm not doing so, Rocktober.

Joe actually was very explicit about not doing so, Rocktober because he was doing, yeah, he was doing, he was doing the garden. He was, yeah, he was like I'm doing the garden. He was doing the garden and he was doing the Boston Arena. The Boston Arena and he was like, and I'm not gonna not party for those days and we were like, yeah, he was like I'm doing the garden. He was doing the garden and he was doing a... The Boston arena. The Boston arena. And he was like, and I'm not gonna not party for those days. And we're like, yeah, I get it.

And I remember him saying, like, these are really good, but we don't need to do them in October. We can do one in March, we can do one then. And so we were like, okay, cool. And we're all not in the same city anymore. And we're not all in the same city. And here's another little sidebar. Me and Tom had thought about doing so,

but October on two bears, but thought it's not the whole group. Like that, we started it as a group. It was started as a intervention for me. To see if you could go a month without drinking. Yeah, and, and, and, and I think it morphed into more than that. It morphed into a competition. And it was fun as fuck. I think, honestly, I mean, if we're going to be very 100 in this, yeah, I think last year it was fucked because Ari drugged me. Yeah. And no one talked for the entire month of October.

What was our competition? I don't even remember. I mean, I've been so drunk and high, I don't remember. We had to do 10 different classes. That's right. Which we didn't even hold each other accountable to at all. At all. A fucking ridiculous shit show.

Yeah. And then I was like, and then I'm, I'm, I get a text with like Saturday morning, Sunday morning. It's into October. It's October 2nd or so. It's October 3rd. Hey guys, are we doing so, October and yeah, or not.

Yeah, no, and I just wrote hell no. Hell no, and then I wrote, it's 7th or any the morning I wrote, oh no, I'm drinking at this moment. Right. Which is, which I hate to say this, I have to say this, it's a joke, it's a Saturday morning. Not an implausible joke, but not crazy. By the way, not crazy. Right.

That's like, if, that's like if, like if, if Takashi 6, 9's like, and then I fucked a kid, okay, listen, I didn't fuck a kid, but I have fuck kids in the past. Right, right, yeah. Allegedly, allegedly. Right, right, and then I fucked a kid. Okay, listen, I didn't fuck a kid, but I have fuck kids in the past. Right, right. Allegedly, allegedly. Right, right, allegedly. Allegedly, allegedly.

But like you, yeah, it was believable, but I knew you were joking. I was definitely joking, and then. And then we get to get this torrent of people who are like, why'd you bitch out? But I didn't know why. I didn't, so I didn't, I don't like, yeah, by the way, I really am not all over social media.

I genuinely am not on it much. So all of a sudden, I start getting like, by the way, I really am not all over social media. I genuinely am not on it much. So all of a sudden, I start getting emails to my burper, burper thing, and getting texts to my community thing of like, why'd you bitch out, man? This concerned. Like, so if Joe already decides not to do it, it's no big deal.

If Tom decides not to do it, it's no big deal. The second I decide not to do it, I have a problem. I have a problem and they're concerned. Yeah. Well, I got a lot of them too, and I just responded to the same to all of them. First of all, it's not a challenge to me. It's not hard.

It's not a challenge to any of us. It's a not drinker-do drugs. It's not hard. Clearly, we've done it. I know a lot of you have substance abuse issues, and it might be a challenge for you. It's not a challenge for me, okay? That's it.

Sugar would be a fucking tough one. No sugar. No sugar? No sugar September. Oops, we'll do it next year, because it sounds better, SS. But, but,

but I mean, this shit is not hard. Yeah, SS squad. Yeah, look, this is SS baby. Now, yeah, it's not,, yeah, that's not a challenge. It's also- That's a good, I can see the uniforms in me. You know SS arm bands, September, no sugar September. But I do think that it's also,

it's not gonna end up being sober October because you started after the month started. So it's mostly sober October. So on the 4th of October Joe on the Fourth of October. Yeah. I'm still on the fence. Oh, really? It's not a real thing.

So this is, but look, I understand people get excited and they feel like it's a community thing. We're doing it together. Hold on, fine. I'll save this. Yeah. I didn't see the text in Instagram. By the way, shout out to Joe.

I got like 5,000 followers. I said, if you can just keep talking shit about me because it really does boost my followers. I loved it. But I saw the text one later and I saw it and I was like, I was like, all right, that's funny. You know, like, it's funny. Yeah, it was playful.

It was playful and R2 replies were exactly what we said. Yeah. But then the one that kind of threw me sideways was, I'm driving in the car in the morning with Leanne and Ari goes, I'm always on acid. Yeah, that's the one I didn't know he was talking about either. Because I hadn't seen the post. So when Ari was like, he called me a drug,

I'm like, who called you a drug addict? Yeah, I was like, I wrote, I'm all, By the way, it's totally accurate, but it's accurate. It's fuck. Yeah, who said it I wrote I'm but by the way, it's totally accurate but it's fuck yeah, who said it and and I was like I'm lost and then and then Joe's like yeah guys, are we doing this or not? You've already posted it. Yeah, you've already posted a saying that we bitched out. I know. He already said my boy's Bert Tom and Ariah bitched out which dude, I bitch out a lot, but let me bitch out for real before I bitch out. Yeah. Like I am a total bitch, I get it.

I will bitch out, nonstop. Let me do the bitching out though. Yeah, no, no, I know. And also when I didn't like, when he asked, are we doing this? And I said, hell not, I'm doing it like, oh no, we're not, like, no, we're not doing that. Like, not like we're having a serious conversation

It's like it's like going. It's like are we are we eating chicken wings right now? No I'd like to say you and your family in your house. It's five o'clock and you go hey We go into the movies tonight. Yeah, everyone says no one replies are all looking at their phones right? You know Like does ain't are we not going to the movies and your wife says well? I'm definitely not going to the movies because I'm doing the garden in October and I'm gonna be not watching movies that day. And you go, okay, well, she's doing it. That is a perfect, no, thank you.

And then you, and then, and then, and then all of a sudden, your daughter wakes you up at 10 o'clock at night and goes, are we going to that eight o'clock movie? It's still on. And you're like, hold on, I'm in pajamas now. It's also 8.30, sweetie. It's 8.30, honey, we've missed the movie30 Swedish. It's 830 honey, we missed the movie.

Yeah. She's like, well, we can start now and I go, yeah, but we don't know the... So that's why... That's, by the way, that sounded like a drug addict. Trying to explain. Yeah. And now she's like so many.

But it does wait too, you know. It just bum me. And then your brain starts going to conspiracy theory of like, of like, because it's never been like this. Like it was never, it was before. It was never one guy decided to do so, it rocks over three days into the month. I also thought when the question was asked

and the group text, like are we doing this? I thought it was we. Well, but also like I thought the question was almost asked in jest. Like yeah, we're doing like, well obviously not. It's October 3rd. I thought the question was almost asked in jest. Yeah, we're doing like, well, obviously not. It's October 3rd. And then I'm in bed and I'm like,

is it because Tom and I pulled two bears off Spotify? This is really how you're playing this. It's what I got, I said Spotify call and they're like, dude, so I brought to you over does well, Joe. We just need to get rid of those fucking guys. You got one guy who can't stop drugging people. You got two guys who pulled their platform off. Listen, buddy, this is just you get some of your real inspirational

friends. Right. Right. You can hang and goggins and goggins. Yeah. And these guys run marathons every day. Right. Do that. I bet David Goggins would have a hard time with so broad.

I can even get through it. But I, but like I get it, I mean, I get it in that Joe is more of like a, like a bigger thing now. And it's not, it's not just like, it's not what it was. It was sucks because it was fucking, it was fun. It was fun, man. It was a lot of fun. All right, let's talk about this. We'll come up with our own thing. So if you watched the two bears, one cave live show, the double X all event, which is still available, if you go to YMH virtual.com, you can rent it. You'll have it for I believe five days or so to watch. It was a lot of fun. Thank you for for joining us there. Um, you saw the tennis footage. So let me just say this when we brought it up, when I brought up those

second tennis lessons, you said, I'll destroy you. And for the people that don't know, you did. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Totally. If you if you ask me, I would have put all my money on Tom. Well, here's a thing though. Here's the thing I mean, I'll break everything down. We're gonna we're gonna call it a talk to your tennis coach. So bad I want to he's fantastic, but here's the thing man. I think that Like if it was been a regular ground game match, we were pretty equally matched I would actually argue that you were better actually argue that you were better than I was because I have a lot of aggressive bad habits that you were beating me on consistently. I have to go to the net. Yeah, well, but let me say something here. I also feel a little hoodwinked, okay?

Why? Multiple reasons. Number one, number number one when you were describing yeah That little bit when we were talking about tennis and like our backgrounds like I played as could you play as kid and then you said to me at one point you go You played in like tournaments and stuff and so you'll you'll destroy me and I go I didn't play in tournaments and you're like oh That was it After our match I was like yo man your serve was insane and you go yeah, oh, that was it. After our match, I was like, yo man, your serve was insane and you go, yeah, I used to play internaments.

Yeah, I played internaments too. But no, no, no, I don't have never said it before. You can find the footage, you can find the footage. If you said, this is what I said to you last podcast or two by guys ago, I said, if Tom said he played internaments, then he actually played like 50 tournaments. If I say I played internaments, I played in two, but I'll make you feel like it's 50.

Okay. Which is accurate. I did play internaments. But I did saw. And now here's the thing. I took my hat off to you on a number of ways. Number one, just straight up for what you did for winning. Number two, forgiving no indication that you served the way.

You gave me zero. Zero and I wish I could see. I've seen them, but I want a montage of all the good serves. Oh, we'll have them for you. Oh, I wanna see that. No, no, you deserve it. You deserve it.

You're such a cut. The best was your cheering team, You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you what's cheering you, but the best was that at one point, they would cheer for you when I made a mistake. Yeah. They'd go, yay, Tom! Yeah, by the way, you know what that felt like? That felt so special needs, because I was so dejected already. And here's what killed me the most.

Here's what killed me. I felt like I was prepared to play a match with you in every regard, except I never imagined that your serve would be your serve. So I was not prepared. And after a few games, I was so down about it. And I wasn't even trying to return the serve at one point. And it made me so depressed that I wasn't even gonna be able

to engage in the game with you. So yesterday, all I did was play with Mike and have him serve the way you serve. No. Are you serious? Yeah, I was like, do Bert serve. He can switch up. He's pretty good. He's pretty good. And, well, let's call him. You want to call him? Let's call him. Let's let's call him let's go. I'm dying to talk to him. Okay. He's I'm dying to talk I'm I really want to hear him talk about my game. Oh, he'll he'll tell you will I I imagine that you weren't Into the idea of him telling you that you know my head. That's all yes. Yes. Yes, by the way, it should be noted Leantings. I have coronavirus

Cool Coronavirus. Cool. Hello. Michael. Hey. Hey, it's Tom and Bert. We're on two bears, one cave. Thank you very much for answering. How you doing, man? Good. How are you guys? We're doing well. We're just recapping the awful events that took place not too long ago, but I've been, you know, I had to commend my friend on his, you know, job well done. He won fair and square. But I also wanted him to hear from an expert like yourself, a division one college, Tennis player, a pro that teaches all types of people what you really thought of his surf.

I mean, I'll be honest, I've never seen that kind of discrepancy between a serve and the rest of someone's game in my life. This is his like when I saw him warming up with you, I thought, OK, he's definitely the player we expected the player. He's sort of relayed to you. Right. And then he started warming up hitting serves. I was like, OK, his motion's very good. That's clearly a strong point of his game. And then he served, you know, the first game to you. Yeah. A double-faulted four times. Uh-huh. And I was like, oh, okay. And then all of a sudden, he just got into like a pocket, a groove. And the guy just started bombing serves. I was, I was blown away by it. I really just really impressed. I mean, yeah, I mean, you, me, I think every by the way, I'll just something so that the audience knows the day before our match,

Bert got drunk. What can I say with humor? No, yeah, yeah, got drunk with stone cold Steve Austin. And he showed up looking like a bag of hot shit, like dragging in with uncrustables. He's wearing like fucking dunk lows. I mean, he just looked like a mess and he was like, I'm so hung over, I got so drunk. So I turned to Mike and I go,

he got drunk yesterday. He goes, you're gonna kill him and then he takes a pause and he goes, unless he's like some John Dele type and I go, he's exactly a John Dele type and I go, he's exactly a John Dele type. So wait, so wait, here's my question, Mike. I hit my first serve, so this is an interesting part of the story.

We're warming up and I didn't warm up properly. Normally I warm up a lot slower so that I can get my ground stroke going by never got to my ground stroke ever feeling comfortable in the warm up. So I was kind of at a disadvantage. I felt okay with my backhand, which my backhand's not too bad, but my forehand is lost if I don't warm up right.

Yeah. And so then we get, and I'm like, well, fuck it. I think it should be noted, like for people that you lost the first two, get your down, oh, two. Yeah. And so, but what's interesting is, Lindsey says, Tom, can I do an interview with you?

And you're like, yeah, so you go off to the back corner and I do my serving, I do my first serve to Mike. And Mike, when I hit my first serve to you, you said something, you went, oh wow. And I was like, oh yeah. What did you say? You said something. I just remarked that, oh wow, you had a really nice technique on it.

Yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah, and I go, I have a pretty okay serve. And then I have like three different types of serves. I have a flat serve. I have the one I hit. And then I have this kickback serve where I throw it behind my head, and I hit it with like a weird top spin kind of. And I think I did one of those, I did my flat serve once to you when we played.

My flat serve is a lot better, but it's less more unpredictable. And but Tom didn't see any of these serves. You're doing your interview, but I had seen one serve, and actually I was doing the pre-match interview with Lindsay, and I go, I saw one surf and I go, I think Burt might be better than I thought.

Really? Yes. Because here's the thing. When we were preparing for this match, first I was just getting back into tennis. Then we're getting closer to, hey, we're figuring out a date to do it. So in the game, my game's improving.

We're doing different things. You know, getting the forehand things, you know, like getting the forehand better, the backhand, working on volleys. And then like, you know, we're expecting like pretty much an equal match. That's what I think we're going for. And then at one point, you know, we're talking about service returns. And like, naturally, I even I go, I mean, yeah, served to me. And then he, you know, he, he, Michael do like some crazy servant, he goes, he's not gonna serve like that.

And I go, yeah, of course not. Like, like, why would Bert have a really advanced serve? Like, I mean, I just didn't expect it, dude. But it was, it was, and also, Mike, even to further blow up your ego, Mike said that the other coaches, because there were coaches watching up from above in that booth, in like the clubhouse there, that they were noting, they're like, that guy's service fucking ridiculous. For real?

No, yeah. So, when I, after you guys left, I went up there and I was talking with some of my coaches, my coworkers who are asking about the match. And these were all, they're all very good players, former college players, some division one, division two, division three, whatever. And they were like, they were talking about, remember you and not, we played a couple points, me against the both of you. And for you hit one of your flat serves to me. And when you hit it to me, and I got it back back you put it right in my body great serve right I got it back with a back end and in that moment I was like I felt like oh my god

I'm back in college again like I think that's how the surf felt to me I was like that is a legit serve and the coaches then going back were like I can't believe Bert surf They were like oh my god that that serve they were like I think that sort of came in at you like 110 115 miles an hour. And I was like, I know. Yeah, but it was unbelievable. They also said they're like, but the rest of his game is dog shit.

Yeah, Mike, how do I get, how do I get the discrepancy out? That's my question. Can I tell you what my, can I tell you my, this is my theory? I feel like when I swing harder, I have more control of the ball, but I can't get, I can't get the confidence to swing harder on a ground stroke.

And what will help is if you can, so if you notice with Tom swing, we've been developing like a nice sort of top spin forehand, he gets a lot of top spin on his forehand, you would need the same kind of thing on both your strokes. Oh, I think, I think if you saw me, if you to get harder. I think if you saw me play, I think if you saw me play not in a match, I can't put it all over. For a reason, in a match, I get very, like let's just save the point as opposed to.

But part of that is because we don't play a lot. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's the nerves of like we were making it in a, like if we had just went there to hit balls together, it probably would have been different, you know, but we made it a thing. And I think that our nerves also were, we're at play. That flat serve is pretty good, huh, Mike? Um, you, if I told Tom, if you came to me for a lesson and you asked me about, like,

improving anything on your serve, I would literally have no notes for you. I would literally just say, let me teach you how to hit an even more advanced serve than you already have. Like I would just teach you the various different kinds of spins you could add to the serve and how to place it better. There's like nothing I would change in your motion.

He's so happy. You realize you're just getting me in trouble for the next bet. Like someone's, you know, his card fox is gonna be like, so I heard you can play tennis. And I was like, I think me and Tom could take you and cost it easy. Okay. All right.

And I'm like, Tom, yeah, by the way, are you going to grant me a rematch? If I go to work and try to, uh, 100% okay. Yeah. Uh, I say we do a doubles match with my coach and your coach. Okay. Okay. Um, sure, we could do that too. I mean, why not, right? We can definitely try that. But we should do a one on one again at some point. We should do a one on one.

Yeah, but yeah, it was fun. It was a fun day. So wait, did your coach play college tennis? I have no idea. You have no idea. Do you even talk to the guy? Yeah. You never ask.

His cousins are really famous tennis players. Oh, great, great. Okay. His cousins are really famous tennis players. Oh, great. Great. Okay. His cousins are really, really famous tennis. But you know his cousins, right, Mike? The Brian brothers. Yeah. Yeah, the Brian brothers.

Oh, that's right. There's probably the two greatest doubles players of all time. Jesus. Yeah. So you think it's a genetic thing that the whole family has it? They're not as tall as my coaches or twins too oddly enough. Yeah. And so is your coach twins too, oddly enough. Yeah. And so is your coach tall?

No. No. But he's, he parties. Oh, okay. These are all really good things to know about someone's tennis game. Yeah, I get it. I get it.

He said to me, this is, I've only took, I only played for a week before the match, roughly. Maybe like, I knew this too. I knew you would have fucking zero preparation. Yeah, zero preparation. Didn't even own those rackets. I borrowed those rackets. I don't have a racket.

And he said to me, there's so much I need to fix in your ground strokes right now, but I'm afraid that I'm just gonna fuck you up. So just hope that you can out your service and enough. I played my coach and hit my serve and he goes, your serve's great. Just serve, if you serve well, you're gonna win. Yeah, so he did tell you that. He's like your serve.

I have, so out of my three serves, the one that, Mike, do you know what I'm talking about? It's where you throw it a little bit behind you and hit it. Yeah, it's called a kick serve. Kick serve, my kick serves better than any of my serves. Really? And you did that or no? I didn't do it because I was, I'm still in this, like just try to get the point. Yeah.

I just wanted to. I, it was interesting too, like the psychology behind, like, winning and losing and how it affects you. Like as the match was going on and you were landing more, I was getting more and more dejected. But I could see that in your body, but I just thought you were like, because after the first two games, I was like, Tom thinks he has this. No, I didn't.

Really? I didn't. No, I didn't. I was really happy that I had the two games, but I felt like I needed things to work out for me to do. Cause I really was, I was telling Mike too, that I was full of nerves. I don't think my nerves actually started to actually go down until I won the one game in the second set.

That's when my nerves started. I don't understand when you say you had nerves. Mike, do you ever have nerves when you play? Oh yeah, oh yeah. I knew exactly what it was talking about because I could see it in his body language and the way he was approaching his shots. I told him, I said the same thing

at the second half of that second set, you started to calm down. Yeah. I totally saw it. I was really like tense. I was very tense. and I wasn't like, I was throwing balls like half up instead of like fully up.

I was just like, and I was actually very annoyed at the gallery. Why? Because they were cheering when I was like, yeah, but I mean like, I also didn't wanna be watched. You know what I mean? I wanted to just be playing you, and I felt like all

this added, you know, it's like you feel like someone you're like, hey man, why don't you take a walk? The best was everyone was cheering for you every time, every time something good happened for you. Yeah. And then one time I did something good and fucking my cousin Andrew goes, wait a go, Bert. I was like, Andrew, we're good. Hey Mike, how many, but how many, because I bet you probably saw, let's not even say like a stroke wise, how, I'll tell you the two things I know I do that I can't help, is I play at a very, very quick pace. And I bet if I bet if someone was playing against me, they could get me out of my rhythm and get me into a different rhythm

and that would fuck me up. Am I right? 100%. Yeah. 100%. I think Tom actually has a very good approach of slowing things down and you kept playing that out during the match. Yeah. So I think you're aware of it, but I think that the good thing for you is that, and this is why a serve is so important.

There's this pro player on tour. You can look him up his name is Evo Carlevich, he's like 41 or 42, the guys maybe got the best serve in tennis and he's able to compete just by being able to use his serve. And so when you're serving really well, your confidence goes through the roof and you actually want to play quicker when you're serving well. You'll actually see pros who are serving when they're serving really well, they speed up their play because they just have lots of confidence. So for today, for that map, that day, it worked really well for you, actually. Everything kind of came together. My other fault fault is I want to be at the net.

Like whenever I want, I immediately charge the net. And Tom was beating me very quickly at the beginning, just hitting it, lobbing it over my head. Yeah, the lob, yeah, the lob was the only thing that I felt like was working on you. But look, man, congrats, Bert. Thank you. You know that I was so dejected when I left.

I went home, I hit both kids. I held Christina's head under the pool and the water. It took a lot, man. You know, the best part, the best part, Mike, you don't know this, but Ellis showed up, Tom Sun. Yeah. And Tom grabbed me and he whispered in my ear and he goes, please don't tell him how bad you beat me.

He'll never look at me the same. And I went, okay, I won't say it wrong. It wasn't like that. All I said was don't tell them what happened. Don't tell them what happened. He wouldn't understand. Hey, Mike, you just made my, my, my year. Yeah, and this is a guy by the way,

my year, this is a guy, a bird who will not go to his head, Mike. So thank you. He's a very grounded individual and this won't blow up. I can't wait to get a tennis racket and start practicing. Oh, shut the fuck up. Mike, thank you so much, man. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks, guys.

Thanks, Mike. Bye. Be real, be real. How do we, because when we played him, there was a second where I thought what me and you got isn't athletic, but it's definitely head fuckery. Yeah. Like there was a second one where we were playing him, where he was like, we were going up back

and forth and points. No, no, no, no, no, there was a second. No, there was a second. Nope. He went, by the way, he went from just standing and watching with his shoes untied. Yeah, how do these guys serve a 125 And served a 125 mile an hour serve. And, you know, just... He aced us. He aced us so bad. He was the number one player in the state of Michigan.

He was big time D1 college. How did you meet him? Just walked up to that place to take lessons. Really? Actually, the truth is, no. We went to get Ellis lessons. And then when I wasn't, I was just like, and then you saw him, you're like,

who's this cute guy? Yeah, I was like, hey man, what do you do? No, he was taking lessons with somebody else and we decided, oh, what if we took a lesson at the same time, like right next to him? You and Ellis? Well, like, he could be on a court. Oh, I thought you and Ellis was like,

yeah, let's double up, dude, you're four. Let's do this. Wait, did you told Leigh Ann that we had a $10,000 bet? Yeah, she goes, I said I was getting a coronavirus test before I came to play tennis with you and a flu shot. And which is ironic, the Atlanta things I have coronavirus, I would have only gotten it, I couldn't have gotten, I would have gotten it from you. You're the other person I saw.

Yeah. And she, I said, I was just talking, the whole crew for the tour was there. And I was just talking out my ass and I said, yeah, Tom and I were playing, and I said $10,000 today. But I was just, it just came out wrong. And Leighanne goes, what did you just say? And she got so upset. I said, Leighanne and I were playing for $10,000 today. She goes, you are not playing Tom for $10,000. And I said, why is that bad?

And she went, you fucking idiot. You don't even remember racquet. Like, you don't have a racquet. You don't even have to, you took a week of lessons and you think you can beat him. She goes, you know that Tom's coming in prepared. You know that he's been practicing. You know that and I go, Ellie, and that's not I go, I trust in my abilities. And then and then I threw a temper tantrum about some trees. Yeah. We apparently trees are

fairly expensive. Yeah, I didn't know anything, but I don't know about trees. We bought a bunch to like surround a property. Yeah, you're at your new house. And a bunch of them died. And I threw a tantrum and I was like, I was like, fucking, why would we get these stupid ass fucking trees? They're like cherry trees or something? Not cherry trees, but like, they're like a type of cherry tree. When I wanted ficus, ficus is strong and they're like, who their roots were invasive, I go, I'm buying fucking Ficus and she goes, well, you can now with your $10,000. So get over the fuck you want.

And I was like, I don't really have $10,000. You're like, I was just joking. I was like, I was like, never mind, we'll just keep these shit tech trees. Fucking shit. You know what she said to me? This is, this is, okay. I'm trying to level my emotion right now

because I think that, and this is what started this whole fucking argument. I find out another one of our comedian friends is moving out of LA, right? And I'm like, and I just tweet off, I go, and I'm fine with everyone leaving LA. Like I said to you, I don't know what your, I really don't know what your plans are.

I know that you guys have plans of possibly moving, but I don't know, nothing's inside in stone right now. Whatever. But I said to you on the phone, I think it would be great for your boys to grow up in a lake. I think it would be amazing. I definitely agree with that. I'm outside of LA, you said that.

Outside of LA, I definitely think that. I really do think that. Outside of LA you said that. Outside of LA, I definitely think that. I really do think that. Do I want you to stay in LA? Like more than 100%. Like I don't want you to leave at all. I didn't want Joe to leave. I didn't want Joey to leave. I don't like, I want all of us back together.

That's not the way it's gonna be. I get it. But I get this one more tweet, and he's fucking cunt. This cunt says to me How's it feel now that you have no friends, bro? And I'm like But it does mean something to me because I'm like yeah, I don't all my friends are gone Yeah, it does suck and and what's it feel like you're building a fucking house on all your friends are gone Hubbert panic much and I'm like

I go fuck off by the way I blocked them. I was like, you're a garbage human being, dude who's only a bass fisherman, that fucking Europe piece of shit. Who the fuck's fishing for bass anyone these days? I think it's a real specific. That's what he does. Attack on this guy. He fucking, every picture is of him with another bass. Yeah.

And I'm like, fucking, I believe they're called bass fish. Bass fish. So I block him. And then I get fucking, I go, I tweet out, I will run for mayor of Los Angeles before I move out of this fucking city Yeah, and then I say to Leanne and this is what is wrong with how people perceive me, okay? Okay This would be good. I Say stupid shit. Uh-huh. I say crazy shit

But all it takes is one Lionel what's his name again? Lyle one Lyle to get my back in this it that's all it takes yeah, and I said to Leanne I bet if I ran from air I could fix this fucking city and she said you're you're being stupid I said don't do that you're shutting down an idea You're not letting it get off the ground. Let it get off the ground. Let it breathe. See if it makes any sense.

And she goes, you're being dumb. You could not be mayor. I go, hold on. I definitely could be mayor. Like, here's the thing. This goes back to your idea that morons are dreamers. Yes. I don't remember having that idea, but that does make sense.

You said that the problem with smart people is they don't dream, and that morons do dream, so let us fucking dream. Let me dream, and then have a smart guy hear me out and go, actually, this does make sense. Like, I need someone to go, when we just came up with two bears, one holding corp, right? You came up with that. When I came up with two bears, one holding corp.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be known as somebody that came up with that idea. All we need is one brilliant guy to go actually like Mark Cuban. Right. I'm making this piece to Mark Cuban. Okay. Mark Cuban. You can get it on the ground level right now. But like I need one brilliant guy to go actually this isn't that bad of an idea. I remember, do you remember when I said I want to sell my I want to sell my business to Mark Cuban? Yeah, I was like I'm gonna sell me to Mark Cuban And be like it just invest in me invest in me. Yeah, and see where it takes you

By the way, everyone thought that was dumb as fuck Including all my agents and including everyone however Had I pitched myself to Mark Cuban at that time. Yeah, he would make Millions of he would have made millions of dollars on an investment. Yeah. And by the way, I'd probably be, he would have been investing in a podcast. He would have a connection to Mark Cuban. For real?

So my point is this, I say I could run from air and Leanne goes, Leanne starts shutting it down. I said, you're what's wrong. You're the teacher that told Richard Pryor stopping a fucking jackass and sit down. You're the one killing the dream. I go, I said, I need you to be like Tom right now and just hear me out.

She goes, just call Tom. I don't want to hear you talking about being mayor. And not granted, there's a lot of holes in this theory. I didn't know that it was four years, which seems really long on paper. I can't imagine in life four years of just living in L.A. and just wearing a suit and shaking hands with people and fucking be exhausting. You would be really over being a mayor quick I

think. I think it would be very over very quick but I think I would fix things. What would you fix? Oh I'm fixing homeless people right now. How are you fixing that? Getting rid of them. Not getting rid of them like putting them on buses and shipping them out. Although I'm if that that is, like see here's the thing. Is I also am open to moronic ideas. And I like to let shit breathe. So if someone's like, what if we put them on buses and moving in a Bakers field, no one's gonna notice?

Bakers field's pretty rough as it is. Yeah. Be like, this is the idea. Yeah, and I'd be like, hold on, this makes sense. Yeah. But like, I was like, I really honestly was like, I bet my plan for being mayor, I was like number one, I'm just a figurehead, I'm gonna hire

all the really good people that know what the fuck they're doing, right? And then we're just gonna go, and I'm gonna make Zars, we're gonna have a Homeless Zar, we're gonna have a Gang Bang in Zar, we're gonna have like, and I'm gonna fix all that shit. And I go, but number one thing is we to stop getting rich people to leave our fucking city yeah we just Joe the the handful of people I know they're leaving that is five hundred million dollars that left the city that left our fucking city

well because no one catered to a lot more people that you don't know there are so many rich people leaving our city that you're gonna leave it to just, it's just sick commenters and fucking soap stars. Yeah. And it's like all these fucking Titans industry are gone. We need to keep those motherfuckers, cause now it's, fuck tax dollars. Keep them, let's do that.

I could be bigger than mayor. Like I, I just, it's like, and so that was, Leanne just got mad at me and then a bunch of people started, then you start hearing the people that are queried with you being mayor and you're like, well, maybe it's a bad idea I love that you could go full circle with that and be mad at people and then be mad at the people who agree with your idea Yes, that was nice. It's by the way my first line of business being mayor cut the time you got to be mayor down to a year I don't know who wants to be mayor for four fucking years

I think people that really want to be mayor down to a year. I don't know who wants to be married for four fucking years. I think people that really want to be married want it to be for long. What does Eric Garcetti's deal anyway? Sounds like a gangster, doesn't he? He does? Oh, the name. Yeah, Eric Garcetti. Yeah, Garcetti here. Yeah.

Hey, it's Eric Garcetti. Yeah. Let's see, maybe I can just support Eric Garcetti. Is he, he's got to be Democrats. There's no way we got a Republican mayor. Oh, Jesus, how old is he? Oh, he's got to be 40. He's got to be 50, 52.

There he is. He's Mexican. He's Jewish. Looks like he's the city's first elected Jewish mayor, second consecutive Mexican American. Oh, yeah, I remember via Rio. Via Rio. Rio so wasn't that wasn't his last name, right?

It wasn't? No, go to via Rio. Rio. Good. You could have just tapped on his name. You could have just tapped on his name. Just tapped on his name, preceded by there you go. His real name isn't that.

Really? Wait, maybe it is. Scroll down. He looks like it's via Georeosa. Scroll, scroll, scroll to early life. What's his real name? It'll say early life, yeah, hit that. Born Tonya Ramon, Vilar, Jr.

Yeah, but I wanna say he took his wife's name. Well, who's the guy that took that? Well, that's a different last name right there, man. Vilar? Yeah, because he's. Yeah, Vilar, I go so. Yeah, but so it's? That's a different last name right there, man. Vilar. Yeah, because he's. Yeah, Vio de Ragnosa. Yeah, but so it's find out how you guys last name it. Hold on.

It's just gonna say there, just keep scrolling, scroll down. Okay, he changed his surname to, okay, upon his marriage to Karina Ragnosa. Oh, so he combined Vilar and Ragnosa to be good at it. You understand? Yeah, that's pretty interesting. I've never, I didn't know someone ever did that. I think you do it when you're running for mayor in a predominantly Mexican city. But he already had the VIA.

I think it, yeah, but that's like, Chrysler, and if you're like, I'm running for mayor in Germany, I'm Chrysler, Gerbos. Gerbos. Yeah, yeah. It was Gerbos. No, no, no, I'm just saying like, I'm just saying German names. I'm Chrysler. Chrysler. What's the name saying like, I'm just saying German names. I'm Christ. Christ. What's on the heck?

Maybe if I changed my name to Via Christchurch. There you go. There you go. Run for mayor. There you go. Why did he get ousted for some shit? See, I don't even know anything about mayors. I want to go to something real quick.

Go to our list. Because it was fun, like the competition thing was fun. What? Oh, okay, I'm trying to think of other competitions. That's all I've been doing all weekend. Okay, so what I here's what I know There's things that I know you're better at and then things that I don't know okay, like what like I know you're a better golfer Okay, so it's not really a competition Right. Yep. That's it. That's all I know Okay, so like things that I'm I think would be an even match. I was doing this I know. Okay. So like, things that I think would be an even match.

I was doing this last night. Okay. Like archery? Let's do archery. Okay, because I mean, I don't have an archery background. I competed in tournaments as a kid. Did you really? No, but I'm a pretty good archer.

How do you know this? I just am. Wait, is this a hidden thing or are you going to be like, well, actually, when I was forward to it? I'm going to show, I'm going to send, I'm gonna show, I'm gonna send, I'm gonna send an adavoclip, okay? Of you doing it? Yeah, this is, so this is, I wonder if Cody texted it to me, I bet Cody texted it to me. Wait, is this gonna be of use actually shooting an arrow? Hold on, of course. Okay, you ready. Yeah

Hang on No, boy hold on let me let me I want this to be so Just texted to you Nadov Okay, so so I bought Okay, I we got so so I bought Okay, I don't mean this I'm trying to be like as fair because I know that the arch people are very passionate about archery Yeah, but growing up in Florida, there were always compound bows or recurve bows around if you went to anyone's Lake house if you went anywhere and so a lot of times we spent time shooting Bozonero.

So when Joe got into archery, I told Joe, one time we were in Hawaii and I forget the price point. We were doing a show and we were with a bunch of guys that were on Steve Casesland, right? And they said the AOL guy? Yeah, Steve Cases has a ton of land, I think, in La Nye or Kauai. And we're on his land, we're at his actual house,

and we're having a cookout, and we had hunted a pig that day. And it started raining under a tent, and they had an R3 target up. And they said, and I said, I bet I could, I bet I could hit it from here. And they started laughing, though like you definitely couldn't hit it from here.

I went, no, I, pretty certain I could hit. I bet I couldn't hit a bullseye, but I bet I could hit really close to the bullseye, but I know I could hit the target. And they're like, you couldn't even hit the hay bell from here. My crew was with me. And I was like, no, I definitely could. And so, so, one of the guys, I said,

grab a bow, grab an arrow, I guarantee you. I'll bet you, I wanna say I bet 500 bucks. And then all the guys, the hunters are like, oh, I'm in on this. I bet you can't even pull the bow back. And I went, in my head, I'm like, okay, is there something I don't know? Because you ever do a bet where you know,

you know that it's dead money. So I grabbed the bow and I don't even cite it up. I don't even use the site at all, because I never use the site. Going up at Archbius such now that there's sites. So it's like, you can like cite it up. I don't even use the site at all, because I never use the site. Going up at archery is such now that there's sites, so it's like you can like line it up and you go, I pretty much got it. Like if I just let go now, I got it.

And we used to do it with our fingers. We never had the fucking kung kung thing. We just Russ Matthews had a compound bow. We just fuck around in the backyard. So I pull it back and I line it up. And then the guy goes, Hey man, if you use a site, you can really, and I'm like, oh my god, I let go and I shoot real close to a bullseye.

And by the way, it's raining, I'm under a tarp, and we're fucking a legitimacy sense away, and everyone loses their fucking mind. Yeah. And then everyone else wants to bet money, so they're betting a hundred bucks, and they can't even pull the bow back. Like it was a pretty heavy compound bow.

Yeah. And I was like pretty heavy compound bow. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, yeah, and the people were like, that's you bullshit, that's bullshit. So the same thing happened on the set of the big show. So we have this, ooh, ooh, ooh, I think I posted, ooh, I don't know if I posted this. Okay.

Why don't we, no, we can show this, we can show this. I just do it now. We can show this. And so, so we had a bow and arrow on the set. And I said, hey, can I shoot the bow and arrow? And everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was like, why? And as soon as I do that, I start playing in like,

which one hand do you do it with? Yeah, yeah. And there's only one guy that matters, and it's Conrad. I'll call Con like, how do you, which way hand do you do it? Yeah, yeah. And they're like, too, and I, there's only one guy that matters, and it's Conrad. I'll call Conrad and see if I can play this. We'll play it. And then if we can, we'll take it out. And so I, Cody Rhodes definitely grew up hunting. Definitely was you're concerned. You, you know, you're earlier snooping here. Yeah. And then just watch. Just

hit play. Watch everyone's backing away. They think I'm going to get hurt. now there's a balloon the ball. Shut up, bullseye. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, wait, you see Mike's right here. Look at Cody's blown away. He's like, that's mine, the bullseye. This is insane.

Okay. Watch this. That's right. I'm a motherfucking machine. This reminds me by the way, this would have been your surf. This is your tennis surf. So this is you actually showed it, but what I almost appear to be like, oh, I'll do archery.

Yeah. And then we show up and you're like, oh yeah, I used to fucking hunt hogs. No, yeah. So archery's not fair, cause when Joe got into archery, I remember one time going, hey, I should your bow. And he was like, it's not that easy.

And I was like, in my head, I was like, it was never complicated growing up. I'm not cassing, so I don't know. And he was like, you need to be fitted for it. And I was like, all right, never mind. Okay. All right, so. So not archery.

Now, obviously, wait, is there another really good one that you're like, I'm really good at this? No, but baseball, but no. Yes, see, I would know that like going to a batting cage with you that you could rip that. You could be a rip of batting cage. Oh, oh, oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you haven't seen me. We've just like a home, you know what happened? This is a perfect, by the way, this is not even coherent sentences. So, so the comedy store used to do, this is right when we had Aila, they did home run Derby. Go out to Pan Pacific Park, and they were playing home run Derby,

and Steve Barnard called and he's like, hey, do you want to come out and play? And I was like, yeah. So I get out there, and everyone's like, I mean, Bretter is swinging a baseball bat, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Didn't play baseball, I guess. Didn't play baseball, but he's got a pretty good swing, any lift weights.

Yeah. But he swings a baseball bat like Serena swings a tennis racket. Yeah. So when he swings, he goes, give the fuck out of you. Every swing, get the fuck bitch, suck this dick bitch. Yeah, yeah. So I get out there and I played baseball like legit, played baseball.

And so, Wait, did you, is this, your wife said two things that you, I cannot believe you at a minute. So either she got it wrong or for the first time in your life, you were modest. So she said that your father was an alternate in the Olympics. That's a little, that was back before during segregation.

The, I don't get it. No, he was not an alternate in the Olympics. He ran, I think he almost got into the Olympics. Like he was running in the races to get into the Olympics. So he's a legit track guy. He's a legit track guy. He ran track and field of Villanova under Jumbo Elliott. Like a legit track guy.

Okay. But if you told my dad, my dad, is he a distance guy or a sprinter. Sprinter, not sprinter, sprinter like 100 yard. Yeah, 100 meters. I think he did 400 and a half mile. Okay. But was legit scholarship to villain over to run.

And then when we did the episode of the cabin with Caitlin Jenner, Caitlin Jenner was like, yo, did you know Marty LaCory? And he's like, I know Marty, like the guy that went to the Olympics with my dad's roommate or something. Okay. So, yeah, my dad was really into and ran marathons. I'm all growing up. Now the other thing that she said, that I was like, how could you have not mentioned this? I already know what this is. You do? Yeah. She said you turned down scholarships, baseball, scholarship to FSU's baseball team. No, not to have a shoe She got that wrong to sit at L and Duke

Offer me scholarships, and I turn them down They were I'm trying to imagine let me rephrase that they recruited me Okay, and I turned both of them down and then I went to FSU to walk on and I walked on the first day and Coach Martin was like was like, it was like, I, I, by the way, hadn't played in forever. Yeah. I hadn't played in a whole summer.

I was supposed to go out and play Legion Ball up there. I didn't, I party my dick off. I had a pledge pin on. He was like, take that shit off. And then he was like, he was like, all right. He's like, you're not, I don't think you're gonna start. I don't think you're gonna play. I gotta be honest with you.

But we can always use a bullpen catcher. He's like, go down there. And I walked down to the bullpen, and I walked right out left field. I left my bag, I left everything. I walked out, I got back to the house, my dorm, Chilly Willie, Paul Pizzo, Chandler Perry,

and maybe Brian Callahan were getting high with all the windows blacked out, with holes poked through, they call it time traveling, and they were laying listening to Pink Floyd. I had my uniform on and I laid down and I took a hit of a joint and I was like, I think I'm never playing baseball again. Okay.

And I was like, I was done. Yeah. It was very poetic. Very poetic. But yeah, yeah, I, but if you, I wish I could send you, you can't see it. If you go to my Instagram, I don't think it comes up and there's music attached. But um, me hitting a baseball is one of my, I had, I just recently did a video of me hitting baseballs.

Yeah. And, uh, keep going, keep going. I wonder if it's gonna keep going, keep going. I wonder if it's gonna keep going, keep going. I don't think it's blocked. Keep back, go back, go back up, go back up, go back up. I guess it's blocked. But me hitting baseball is one of my favorite things. Okay, well, let's go back to our list here. So here's what I was saying. Things that I know you would have a big leg up on,

so far, our golf, archery, surprisingly, and baseball, which, you know, that would be what like a batting cage conference, so I'm not really, so here's the thing that I know that you're not like, excellent at. Obviously you're not obviously you're not gonna be with discipline. You're not goodness Brent I mean Ron the bus the tour bus driver smoked you so that's how to see you can't like you can't sprint I don't think you're I love I love this Right, I'm not good at basketball, but no, but hang on let me rephrase it. Okay. I'm great at basketball. Oh, okay

I'm great at basketball. Okay, but I on, let me rephrase that. Okay. I'm great at basketball. Oh, okay. I'm great at basketball. Okay. But I do not, let's do basketball. One on one. Let's do one on one. Because by the way, I am, I am, I never was good growing up, but I was loved basketball. You did? Loved it.

But I was just for whatever reason, I have a hard time with, um, with, uh, conflict. So if you're gonna be a good basketball player, you gotta be comfortable talking shit, bumping into people, like in like going hard in the paint, I'm not that guy. There's a thing with me. Wait, so wait, what do you love? I love shooting and I like shooting. Are you a decent player? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. That's a really good one. Okay, no one. One-'s a really good. So we don't know one one on one basketball. Yeah There's this kid do you know who Tristan Jass is now? I'm gonna obsessed with this page Dude this kid is this kid is type in Tristan Jass. This kid is so awesome. He is

Go to his and go to his YouTube page. You've never seen him Tristan Jass. I don't think so. So this kid Go to his YouTube page. Go to his YouTube page. And then go to his videos. Okay, look, just see this one. Watch this, he just goes and he can really ball. And these dudes just can't play. And they just foul him like crazy.

And he's legit. And every video is like trash talker gets served. And it's just this fat Albanian dude. This kid can legit play basketball. Legit. So is his channel all about him playing ball? It's all and by the way, during the pandemic, this kid has gone to every court in the world and

been playing five on five. This kid legit can play. So how old is this guy? I don't know. He's got to be like 22. I guess he's never going to play college or anything. Yeah, what's the, he's 20. So let's, what's, is there a story on him like, like, did he play at a certain level?

He played ACU. What's ACU? AAU. Yeah, that's pretty let's see your scroll down. He's short. He's making good money. Let's say I want it. He's a trick shot. Okay, a trick shot. Yeah. All right, Han. He's born right now. Doesn't say about like where he played because he obviously played organized ball. He had to. Yeah, scroll down. I don't want to know about his girlfriend. Either do I want to see education keep going, education keep going. That's his dad. Did he play it with Concent? No, no I can't I can't tell from this it's interesting he played dude. He played this one kid This is my favorite one. I think he's in Atlanta and he just drives around

He just drives around the country and goes play his pickup game. Yeah, and he's good But he doesn't talk shit. This kid doesn't he doesn't he just goes in and and because he looks the way he looks Yeah, people are like not just people the court he goes to yeah black dudes bully ass black dudes fucking find him out. Yeah sniff him out and talk so much shit Uh-huh, and this guy I mean he went to one park in Venice and this guy's like put the camera away You don't want it out today. You're not getting shit done today and this kid just schooled this guy, I mean, he went to one park in Venice and this guy's like, put the camera away. You don't want it out today. You're not getting shit done today.

And this kid just schooled this guy. He goes to this one. I wanna say it's in Atlanta. Maybe it's in Ohio, I forget exactly. But there's this guy talking so much shit. Yeah, man, fuck you. Fuck you, I'm gonna put you in your place. You put your camera away.

I'm the fucking star. YouTube, meet me. They played to 11. Tristan scores 10 unanswered points. 10 hundreds of answer points where the guys literally breaking his ankles everywhere. And then for the last point, goes to the half court and shoots from there and sinks it.

And then the guy loses his bet with Tristan. And you see all the bets at the court. Everyone had bet this guy. He then has to do a hundred push-ups and they take his shoes to the guy that he beat. They take his shoes and this guy Tristan goes, I feel really bad man. I didn't know that I was losing his shoes. They took his shoes. They weren't even good shoes. They just took his shoes. Fucking, oh. Well, this is what it says here. So, he's like trick shot guy, all skills.

He posted a video himself sending his high school teacher sprawling with a well-timed cross, okay. So that's him playing ball. If he accepted a coveted basketball scholarship, he'd have been offered. He would have to shut his accounts down. Not only because between basketball classes, he wouldn't have time to make content,

but because the NCAA forbade student competitors from profiting off their own names, images, athletic abilities. If Jess accepted a scholarship, it shows to keep content and that I'm making AdRivNum, the NCAA could yank his scholarship and ban him from college ball. There's another dude I fucking follow who was a field goal kicker for UCF Who has a chain channel and I watch some of his videos. It's him. I think it's him in Foot races against dudes field goal kicker, you T.F. Put field goal here, you see I've put YouTube He was this this dude had D1 offers and then turn them down to keep doing the same thing with this kid

No, maybe it's not this kid. Is it this kid? Can you Google that guy? Yeah, that's him I think And now he's got a really popular YouTube page from a kicking Donald is that him? I wish I was doing this Destroying that's him This guy's page is great. It's got like three million views and it's him racing look at this is him and Do you want to do do you want to do like a cover?

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Can we get a quarter back? Can we get a quarter back? Yeah. And then hold on, when we just do, you basically have to cover me and I have to cover you. We'll have heart attacks on the field. Be really cool.

Yeah. What if we, what if we, what if we, I really like the idea of basketball, except I like the basketball. I love sprinting. I love sprinting, but I think we should do like a 220.

What's the two? It's like a quarter of a way around the track. A half way around the track. It's more than a 100, it's a little more distance to it. I was thinking way less. Like 40? Yeah, like a 40. I wonder if I've gotten faster since

Ron. Because I've been working on my sprints. You have? Yeah, actually. Yeah, on your treadmill. Yeah, because that's how my brain works. Yeah. Is I work on my sprints? So that when Ron bets me, I know Ron has not been working on his sprints. He's gonna, he's gonna ask for that rematch, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's coming. And then the survey cold. So wait, we got sprints. That's something we could do. Basketball. Basketball one on one. Do you wanna do like a football drill

with a quarterback, like a legit quarterback? I don't know how you gauge that. Although I would do it, by the way, I'll do it for fun. Yeah, it'd be fun. I think what we do is we set it up and we shoot it, we'll figure out the bet. Because even like tennis, when we got done tennis, the real challenge for me became me and you playing your coach.

Because I love, I love tugging the Tigers tail. There's something about getting a pro athlete and seeing just how hard they can go. Right, and also the fact, I think it's kind of fun to do it in the moment, like when they don't expect it to be done, because like he was just watching and you're like, no, no, let's play right now. What would you say if I said?

What if what would you say if I said we got Who's number 99 on the Rams Donald um Aaron Donald? Yeah, especially Donald Glover What if we got Aaron Donald? We try to defend him too on two and we really bad do you think we could hold him no hold on no hear me out It we would kill us. Well, I know we can't get him right now, but like Here's the thing I like to feel okay. I Want to feel the heat I want to feel this is not the kind of heat you want dude I'm serious that he's the best player in the NFL right now I mean he is listen dude

He is being double-teamed by 330 pound men who bench 500 pounds. But don't you wanna throw them? Don't you wanna feel? Don't you wanna just, no, but here, put it in perspective, be a new double-team him. Okay. And we put my wife in pads holding a ball.

What? But like, okay. She wouldn't agree to it. I love this football idea. I say we feel all the football. Feel the football? Who do you think could kick the longer fuel goal? Oh, that's a good one.

Here's the thing, I have zero field goal kicking experience. I have less than zero, but I did practice with Pat McAfee once. And I learned the trick. It's all about magic tricks and this shit. I have less than zero, but I did practice with Pat McAfee once. And I learned the trick, and it's all about magic tricks and this shit. I do like punting. I've never punted in my life.

Punting is fun. Should we do a, oh, we should do a, what's the, what do they call it? Kick catch. Pump, pump pass and kick, pump pass. Yeah, pump pass kick. We should do a pump pass and kick, pump pass. That's a good one.

Pump pass and kick, contact. So that means throwing. Hey dude, if you guys have an idea of a competition, you think you'd like to see us do. Yeah. Put it in with the hashtag hashtag. Two bears, one cave at gmail.com. Hit us up.

And the subject lying should be challenge. Challenge. Challenge. Yes. I love this. I love punt pass and kick at the Rose Bowl. You want to do punt pass and kick at the Rose Bowl? We could do that.

If they if if we get that date. Yeah. I don't know, but people already know by the time this comes out. Yeah, we've already been on sale. Yeah, that's true. But we can do a punt pass and kick. If they let us do that that day, that would be amazing. I love true. But we can do a pump pass and kick. Let us do that that day. That would be amazing. I love it. Okay.

I love a pump pass and kick contest. I love it. I love basketball one on one. We need to get. I want to do surfing so bad. We need to get a football. Let's do surfing. Do you think we can get Kelly Slater surf kit ranch? I don't know. Maybe. I feel like we need to get a good football people to come that day.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah like former players that live here. I really want to do surfing. I really want to do surfing. I really want to do surfing. Okay, you mean just like as a fun thing. I want to get into surfing. I wish I could get into surfing.

I could see you getting into surfing. But we should do, we should do, I bet we would get fucking worked at Kelly Slater's Surf Can't, right? Of course we would. Like apparently they go, I just saw Casey Neistat did a thing there. And they only let him surf four waves.

And apparently it's $100,000 to rent that thing out for the day. Really? Yeah. Here is a few things we can definitely do. Okay. Like that are, I mean we can set these up. The sprint race is easy to set up obviously.

Yes. It's easy to set up one-on-one basketball. Very. That punt pass kick thing would be dope. You can do it in a number of different places. If we could do it, the Rose Bowl would be just incredible. Here's my other thing. Well, I think I would like to set up a challenge

where me and you take on a pro and something. Like a, like a Jo's versus pros kind of thing? Yeah. Yeah, it'd be fun. Because I really, our strength is competing together. Yeah, I mean, that would be really fun. In basketball, it would have to be two on one. Two on one, and we play Anthony Davis.

Oh, yeah. This would go well. I think we could, right? I mean, as long as we agree to stay like 15 feet apart, the only way that that would work. So we, like, what, okay, what do you think we have an honest chance of beating what kind of pro At anything Definitely not the tennis thing. That's a bad idea. Not ten tennis will be tough. Yeah If you want to play two on one basketball

Against well again, you ready. Yeah against a fucking bench player. No, no, we get a retired player. Okay, Jason Williams Not the one that killed the key people. Oh the white guy. Yeah, the white guy Yeah, I mean his skill you know these guys skill level is off the charts, right? Like they can they can they can shoot like not looking. I'm always amazed when you see like, when I watch a kid Tristan Jass, I'm just, I forget his name right now. But when you see him just drain three pointers, just drain them, you're like,

oh that's like, you gotta, that's thousands of reps of doing that muscle memory. Snoop had a basketball thing set up, it is at the go. He's probably a pretty decent, right? Like a, I bet, what if we could beat Snoop and a basketball thing set up. It is at the go. He's probably a pretty decent right like her. Snoop's legit. I bet. I wonder if we could beat Snoop and his friend is two on two. Snoop's that Snoop legit. We were they love we had a basketball out there. It's me a trick shot

basketball guy. Yeah. And they lowered it to like nine feet maybe. And Snoop's like we can dunk on that. And I was like, I can't dunk on nine feet. And you was like, yeah, you can. Well, that's what he said. And I could palm the ball. Yeah. So I went up and I got stuffed by the rim. And Snoop was doing dunks.

Like, tongue, tongue, tongue, gouge. Behind the back, gouge. And I was like, oh, he's legit, leeligit. He has a basketball court in his house, I think. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. You couldn't dunk on nine feet. I don't believe that. I might get a basketball rim set up at my new house. There you go.

Start really playing basketball. Okay. This sounds right. I'm, I miss basketball. Wait, wait. So you couldn't though. I could not dunk on nine feet. I could not, but now granted I was in jeans. Yeah, yeah.

And I had Nike Air Force ones on, those are the dunking shoes. They're kind of. They're very heavy. Okay. I had hair product in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All this adds up.

I have this at the end. I just had lunch. Okay. Well, look, we need to set up these challenges. Is there anything we did not cover today? By the way, someone get us to Kelly Slater to get to a surf ranch. Me and you go out there and we do a surf challenge. By the way, there's also one of those surf things that in the middle of the desert and Palm Springs. Nadav, get Lindsay on that. We'll go to the middle of the desert

and do that surfing in the Palm Springs. It's a thick boy nation. the hoodie is often pop in. Go to Thompsigura.com, click on the store, get our new, hoodie, thickboy Nation hoodie. Make sure if you haven't yet, check out our sites, BerberBurt, Thompsigura.com for some live dates that are coming up and will be announcing more, hopefully, as the Rona gets defeated.

Hopefully. I mean, hopefully I don't have it. I'm getting another test today. Yeah. We're far enough away, right? Yeah, we're good. Yeah. All right.

Congrats again on your victory. Thank you. And thank you, Mike, for all the kind words you had to say. Time to retire that racket. Pick up my sneaks and into basketball and sprinting. Okay, love you, like to. Bird time, time and bird. One goes top and swat the other, wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call, scoop, there's one cave. No scripts to beat a booze amateur, pathology Dirty jokes, ronti humor, no apologies Here's what we call two bears one cave