2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 57 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - Head to Policygenius.com right now to get started. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to Kamikoto.com/CAVE and use offer code CAVE for an extra $50 off - Get your first visit absolutely free at ForHims.com/bears -Go to NoDaysWasted.co/BEARS30 and use code BEARS30 at checkout for 30% off and free shipping in the US. - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping at Manscaped.com/BEARS - Go to Talkspace.com or download the Talkspace app and use promo code BEARS for $100 off your first month. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing exclusive golf clubs. Bert tells the story of when he learned about racial slurs as a child, and they have fun watching videos of disgusting toenails, dilated pore removals, and navel stones. They react to getting shouted-out on 85 South, and recall how they got into hip-hop. They take a look at the SUBEAP submissions they got, their take on the PLASTT phenomenon, and discuss their best and worst strip club experiences. Bert also shares how he got mistaken for a Trump supporter on Instagram.

She's so frustrated about our birthday present game. She is? Because I started googling things I was gonna buy you and she's like first of all we're not buying that I was like we're not buying it for you. We're buying it for Tom. She was like hold on hold on She's like so excited. I'm so excited More like It's more like a fishing kind of hat today. It's a bad ass fucking hat. It's a master's right there. It's a master's right now when we're filming this.

It's a master's. It seems really high. I think it's good. I for the record, it's a master's hat. Shout out to Michael Collins who gave me this hat. And shout out to all the racists that open a gust of national club and didn't allow blacks or women or people of other ethnicities or religions into their club for like 80 years. What were you saying? I was wondering. I was actually wondering

I would like I would like to go back to like the first person when they started doing the rules And like do you think there was someone that was a little progressive like hey, you know that black people do this and everyone like What did you just say? I think like one day, like probably that, you know, in Augusta, some black I just walked up and was like looking to play golf. And they were like, what? Here?

And like, you can't play here. And he was like, why? When did they start letting black people play in Augusta? Hey, it was, oh boy. Good luck. It was way later than you think. Yeah, it's a fun game. That's should be a game show. Until 19 and no women as members of 20s. Well, no, yeah. The club Yeah No, the club Laurent required all caddies to be black and barred black Hold on hold on. What the fuck yeah?

The club held long race assistance held them they held these race assistance access policies. I talk about this on stage Josh. Are you serious right now? Yeah, right now. You're talking about this on stage right now right now. Are you serious? Yes, I have a whole bit about Augusta No women could be members in 2020. 12, can I tell you what's, I went to a meeting one time, there was this. Clan meeting? No, no, no, there was a club, like a club.

Right, was it, yeah. No, no, no, it's in Hollywood. It's like a members only bar. Yeah, and so. And so. They're all over the country. Go ahead. So I get a call and they're like,

this movie producer wants to meet you. He's a member of this elite club on sunset, down by Beverly Hills and he's like, you cool to do that? I was like, fuck yeah, I've always wanted to see what these are like. Yeah, yeah. So they're like, cool.

So I go there and I get the lobby and Judy, my manager's there. I go, what are you the lobby and Judy my manager is there I go, what are you doing here? She's like I'm here for the meeting. I go they let women in this club she was like They let women in all clubs I know to go to like one of the old school ones. Yeah, it was like all the like all dudes and like everyone's walking around half naked And they're like hey that sounds, here's the thing, I can stand, stand for inclusion and against having women. You know what I mean?

Like, I feel like you should let in every race and religion of man. In baby steps of progress. Yeah. All the men, all the different colors. Exactly. Commiserate about how they hate women. But then once you start having women come in, you're like, oh, so there's no fun here? I would love to be a, do they have,

you can't even have a man, you can't even have, like, wait, can you forbid a woman from joining a private club? Let's start one. It's a Like a private club. It's like can you is it is it illegal to forbid a woman from joining a private club? Like how has had they get away for it until 2012? That's recent man. That's very real. That's like like that's encouraging is shit That means that we can, we do have a shot.

I was, I was saying I was trying to think of a joke about, you know how like, so like when you're trying to hit progress, and you're like, like, I, you'll say like, oh, I don't say the F word. And people like, which one's that? Right't say the F word and people like which ones that right? Come on you know which one and I'm like I you stop saying fuck you like no god damn it That's not what I'm talking about and and

I wonder if that happened with the N word when they were like when the first white guy that was like I don't appreciate you not saying the N word and they were just like in the back of a truck like I'm not sure what word you're talking about And like he mean never? And he's like, no, you can say no. My pops had never said never. I don't know what that you're talking about. What was the other way?

What was the other one I was just thinking of when I was saying, oh, the K word? No, what's the K word? I don't know, what's the two? All right. The R word? The R word is that. The R word?

The R word has really, like saying that has really taken off in recent years? You know what's so funny is I really feel like you were at the beginning of the wave of reintroducing that word to people. Thanks man. I hear that word so much. I hear it so much. I hear both the R word said. Yeah.

And all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear it. Let me repeat this. I just want to say I love. I embrace when a person of progress doesn't know you're not allowed to say that word. Yes. And they say it like when you're shooting a TV show and they're like, let's not all be. And you're like, I know it's, it is the most exciting reveal. I love when I've had people talk to me about it.

Like they'd be like, just wanna halluette you about the R word and they kind of give you like a mini lecture. Yeah. And you're like, okay. And then how much time later you're just hanging out and they're like, you know, they're like, it's like a retarded man.

Yeah, like, oh. Are you like, oh, so it is part of your lexicon and you're not the person that you were that was lecturing me, you're just, you wanna hear the best one of those? Ever, ever. We're sitting at my house having dinner with a bunch of friends and the topic of the N word comes up of Usage in the South and I was like it was very popular when I grew up like my parents never said it

But I heard it every neighborhood ever grew up and I heard it and we moved to Florida. I remember the day one. I remember the first time I said it You ready for this? Yeah, good story. By the way, get ready to edit this out. Ha ha're like, come on man, catch the fucking ball. 10 years old. And so we moved out of a bad neighborhood. We lived in a bad neighborhood rough neighborhood when I was really young, like Rednecks. Did you really? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was the first house we could afford then and it was all that level of white that could afford a house they could afford to own a house but they weren't their own bosses yeah right so it was that if that makes sense and there was a black neighborhood that was that was on the other side of the street yeah to ours and these but this is a separate, but this is how often I heard the word. The black kids came over one night and stole my football. It was in the front yard. They stole my football. I knew it was my football because the late we played in the street,

and the laces had run out. My dad used to use the shoe string to relice the football. And so they had my football and they challenged us through a game of football. And these two redneck brothers said, that's his football. And they said, no no this is our football and they started fighting the two brothers started fighting two black dudes and then it got down to one the youngest brother in the black dude fighting and the dad came out of the two white brothers and started chanting fight fight and we're done a white white don't win we all jump in and hit

me and said start Chan he's fighting for your ball. And I was like, oh my God. And by the way, that was just, I was traumatized to watch a fight. Now, cut to 10 years old, we moved to a, we moved to a better neighborhood. Yeah. And there's a black family in there. There were call-ins, shout out to the call-ins,

they were awesome fucking family. They're from Ohio, I think. That's funny, the small details. And they had just gotten packed man. Chris call-in had just gotten packedman Chris Corbin had just gotten pacman And we were playing one on one and he was destroying me like going head head and he started going and the whole family's wrong They just got in pacman grandma His cousin his sister mom and dad, right and he's going take that honky take that honky cracker cracker

As cracker and and the whole family's laughing. I'm the one white kid there And I'm like this doesn't feel so cool. So then I get in, right? I start to play, and I start going, I go, take that, you ch- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have that unplugged. They unplugged it, unplugged the game. Father, his Chris's father sat down and said, we don't say that word in this house. And I was like, I was really confused.

So I was like, I mean, I thought he was just, I thought we're fucking around. Like in my head I didn't know the word, I had no weight of the word. I didn't know the word. I'd heard it in the other neighborhood. I'd never said it, but I was like, oh, we're gonna bust balls. He's gonna call me a honking a cracker.

Yeah. And he was like, we don't say that in this word in this house. And he gave me like a very stern, but very loving lecture about that word. And then the grandma came in and the grandma explained, well, her life was like, I'm fucking 10. And I'm sitting in a speedo on their couch Just like what the fuck did I do like what like how do I get the fuck out of this and I'm and I'm and no and Chris the whole time

Shout out to Chris Calvin is still my friend and bust in my balls He's like oh like point me. I'm like get me the fuck out of here But they were really cool. They explained to me that that word was not to be used ever. I shouldn't say it What it meant the weight of what it meant and then grandma gave me her store I want to say his grandma was there. I'm sure of Chris hears this So be like my grandmother never came down to Tampa. Yeah, very active imagination but I know his cousin was because we used to spy on us. She was hot as fuck and so and so

And then we got done and I just mean and his dad then it was very cool And so, and then we got done. I just mean, and his dad then was very cool, taught me how to make peanuts. Like he made roasted peanuts and like brought me into the kitchen and come on, make peanuts. And so we made peanuts and this is the first time I ever said the word. Jesus.

By the way, not sure we want to keep that in the show, but it's, no, but so when you got home though, did you tell your parents or your dad? I did say word. You kept it to yourself. I was like, I fucked up big. And you knew to keep that to yourself. I, this is the first time I ever told a story. Really to yourself. This is the first time I've ever told a story.

Really? Yeah. This is the first time I've ever told a story. Do you know that I, me, I wouldn't curse even in like fifth grade, fourth grade, fifth grade, up into sixth grade? Really? And a neighbor was like,

I don't know if I wanna give a shout out the way you did, because he might be like, that's not a cool story. I wonder what Chris Collins doing. I wonder if I can find him to give a shout out the way you did because he might be like that's not a cool story But I wonder what Chris Calvin's doing. I wonder if I could find them keep going. Yeah, yeah, but my neighbor He and his brother were like say fuck and I was like no Like that I just didn't curse and he was like say it. I go out. No, I won't so one of them put me in a chokehold And the other one put a knife to my neck. Oh my God. And they go, say fuck. And I was like, no, kill me.

I didn't say it and they were like, all right, man. Now, not a lot. And I was jerking off like next to these guys. Go ahead. Go ahead. So that's one of these stories of our words. This will give us an out of case.

We don't want to use that story. Best one of these our word and word stories. We're sitting. That's a good story. Yeah. Yes. I don't know. I get very authentic.

Then people pull that out and they're like, and they just, I'm not even going to offer that. Anyway, the whole point is we're sitting in our house. And we're talking about usage of the N word in the South. And we're just like, oh yeah, that word flew around a lot in the 70s and 80s. Like I heard it in public, I heard, like it definitely, the wokeness wasn't around.

One of my buddies is like, oh, never said the word. And I'm like, you've never said the word? He's like never said the word. And I was like, you never sang it in the song. He was like, never, I have a clean record, a clean record. And I'm like, really? And he goes, never, it has never come out of my mouth. And I actually believe this dude, right?

I believe this dude. That night, we go to Pats. I'm with Omar Dorsey, tone bell. All my, all my, all the black dudes that hang out at Pats, I shouldn't, yeah, fuck it. Well, that's where we hang out at. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't say the name of the bar. But that's where we're hanging out at and we're all drinking and I pull them aside

I go you know this guy's never said the N word and they're like impossible I go I go I actually believe him and they're like impossible and he's like no no I mean and and then we start talking about something else and the guy says it twice to three black dudes It says it to them three is drunk and he's just like, and he has no recollection of it, no recollection. The next night, I'm going, I go, I text everyone, I go, can you believe? He said he never said it.

That night, he said it twice to three black dudes. And he goes, I did, absolutely did not. And I was like, you 100% did. And then I tell him and he goes, oh my God, I did. I did. He said it casually in a bar. He said it casually in a bar. He said it casually in a bar twice, two, three black eyes. It was the fucking, I was like,

the almost starts going, wait, he just said he never said it, he just said it to us. He was telling a story where the, in the story the word was used. And it was, it was, in his mind, he's not saying it then. He was just drunk and he was like, he was like, I can't believe it. I had a clean record.

I had a clean record. A clean record. A fucking clean record. I saw, I believe that. I saw somebody at a woman at a wedding reception, hammered and she was singing it so loud, but like, people were trying to shuffle her out. And she was singing it so loud, but like, people were trying to shuffle her out.

She was like, ah! And she was just singing it, and we were all like, oh my god, but she was so out of her mind, drunk. This is a great pivot, because, Nidob, do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, the thing that you mentioned, with TI? Yeah. Did you, so, I don't, this is, this is so weird.

And I don't know if I, because I'm such a huge fan of TI, like literally like a huge fan of TI. Obviously, 85 South Show has TI on. Have you seen this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen it? Okay, so TI, they gave us a shout out. They gave us a shout out.

Here's the weird thing, and I want you to hear it and tell me what you think. I don't know if we can play it, but they're talking about Miss Pat, right? Yeah, hold on a second. They're talking about Miss Pat. And the way TI refers to me as the person that Miss Pat is on a TV show with,

the cabin streaming right now on Netflix, it sounds racist, but I know it's not, but I now understand when someone goes, why is he gotta be a black man? Like, like, here the way TI refers to me, as he's talking about Miss Pat right now. So we're the white man. Bert.

Yeah. Go back, play that again. Yeah. She's actually on something else to something that for the ex I forget what it's called. It's with a white man. Bert. It's with a white man.

It's just sounded like, I heard it and I go, I go it sounds, I know it's not racist. I know like, but it's the way it comes off. It's like, it makes me feel like a bad white person. Oh, right. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. It's a white man.

And he was like, oh, I'm better than that. Yeah, I mean, he was just like, I don't know who that guy is, but it was definitely white. I know it was a white man. Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, he definitely didn't mean that like despair. I don't think he did at all, but I can,

I'll tell you what I got was I mean, he definitely didn't mean that, like, despair. I don't think he did at all, but I can, I'll tell you what I got was, I got, when like, when you say something and you go, oh, that's not what I meant, right? There's a funny thing though, this comes down to like, just like, word choice. If you say, if you were to be like, there was a black man, that sounds fucked up. But if you say, there was a black guy,

that sounds neutral. That's what, you know what, I swear to God, did I not say that enough? I said if he said it's a white dude, I go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It means he likes me. But if you go white man, it's just like, it does, it sounds like a perpetrator. Yeah, it sounds like, like, who did,

who shot all these people at the mall? And they're like, it was a white man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, that's what it is. You know, I couldn't figure this out. And I played it for Ron and Ron goes, oh, you're just up in your feelings because you're a fan of T.I.'s and he didn't know your name.

And I was like, no, that's not it. That's not it. I don't expect T.I. to know my name at all. But the way he said, white man, it does. It comes out like if you go, if I said, so last night we got to the knock at the door and you're like, who was it? And I go, it was a black man.

You're like, what the fuck? But if I go, oh, it was just black dude. You know, I also, I think I just did it different, like I said it different. It was a black dude. And you're like, oh, what do you want? It was a black man. Yeah, yeah.

It does man feel like what you tell the police. Yeah, there was a Hispanic man here. It made me feel like I'm not a good white person when he said that. Yeah, it's a white man. And I think that your stories support that narrative. And by the way, I very much regret wearing this act today. Ha, ha, ha!

You can take care of me on this one, Adam, clean it up. Fuck. No, you didn't do anything wrong, man. Yeah, it's interesting because I oh you know This isn't even better pivot Tom. Yeah, yeah, why don't we play the video that I accidentally posted on Instagram This is gonna be the episode that takes me down. Okay, I will say this I was a lot I moved to Florida when I was 14 Which is you know you're kind of a developed which is, you know, you're kind of a developed person. What was that like?

Dude, I'll be, because I move from Milwaukee, which Milwaukee a lot of people don't know, is actually a very segregated city. It's the most segregated major city in America. Like when they have like the percentages of people that live separate from each other, it's very segregated. But as a teen, as someone who went to middle school

and the first semester of high school there, even though I'd see people in groups, you go to lunch, right? The cafeteria, there's Asian kids and black kids and white like set, it's kind of, but people mingled. I didn't hear the type of thing where day one in Florida, I was like, holy shit. Like, it was a very different culture

where people were very openly racist. And it was having moved from cities where people, some people would laugh and snicker and say, oh, those cities have racism. Yeah, I understand that, but I'm saying as a kid, I didn't hear it nearly anything like when I moved to Florida. Florida was, it was like going to prison.

Yeah. Like where you hear people just openly, you were like, you talk like this man? Like it was crazy. It's interesting because there are, it's, I mean, Florida's very classist in that, in that there is a genre of Floridians that grew up there, their family grew up there,

their mom and their Mimas, their Peepas, they all grew up there. And some of them have raised into power and have money, but that is the backbone of the racism. And then there's like, I wanna say like, all the people that moved to Florida is, and I hate putting Florida in a bad light because I grew up there and I love Florida. But I just know for a fact that Florida is and I hate putting Florida in a bad light because I grew up there and I love Florida.

But I just know for a fact that Florida is different, you know, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi. There is like people always wonder about race and I go, I don't know. I haven't been there in a while, but it's growing up. It was very segregated, like very segregated. I mean, I went to St. Louis, how tall has he was, fam you and Florida state. And there were literally was, will you drove a cross? I remember on Saturday nights, I went to Stoels, Halhtala, Hasse, it was FAMU and Florida State. And there were literally, we drove a car. I remember, on Saturday nights, I'd have to take, I drove a safe escort,

I had a car, I'd take girls around campus, and black chicks always used to call up. I remember this one girl. Can you, can I get one 11? Was my number, was the escort numbers? Everyone had their own number? Can I get one 11? And they were like, yeah, hold on. One 11, you got a request, I go, who's it from? It was Vanilla, I I went at a number. Can I get 111 and they were like yeah, hold on 111 You got a request. I go who's it from she goes vanilla. I go oh fuck and I go alright

I'll be there in a second. She would be she would fill up my little a K car We had like a K car she would fill it up with her friends and dudes and I drive them to parties at fam you What is safe? Esco what is that save escort? It's still a Tallahassee Nadav it's S period a period F period. It's even still a Tallahassee. Nadav, it's S period A period F period. Safe escort, just go ahead, Tallahassee. Safe escort was, it was a job I had where I walked girls, I walked girls across campus. Those are female escorts, buddy.

Safe escort. Yeah. Yeah. Safe escort was, I asked where the girls cross campus. It was awesome. So wait, how did you how did you get in that? My buddy cheese had a job was the supervisor and he goes, you want a job?

And I was like, yeah, me and Brian Pracking. He was one eight, one eight seven, we're numbers. He was one eight seven. I was one eleven and and they girls knew us. And like, especially the black. This just means that like you're going, you're not going to rape them. Yeah, no, no, I'm. This just means that like, you're not gonna rape them.

Yeah, no, no, I'm gonna make sure that they don't get raped. Right. So like, I would walk them across campus. So a lot of times you would just walk, like, primarily you were supposed to walk them across campus, but we had a car, and so we would take them, we'd drive them off. You're just like an interesting guy to have that job.

Not that I think you're a, not that you're a solter. It's just that I go like, so the party guy is your safe escort. I know, right? Like it's just funny. I know. I think it's, it's like it was, it was a fun fucking job because you met, I mean, you met tons of checks. Like, I mean, if I was single, you could have, you could have found girlfriends, but I was dating someone. So I just had great conversations. This chick Vanilla, there's no way she's gonna hear this. Black chick lived in dormant hall with me, my freshman year, and so I knew her,

and she would hit me up, she lived in, I think she lived in Devony, and she would hit me up and go, send 1-11, and she knew that I knew her, and so I was gonna break the rules. You weren't allowed to drive off campus. And I remember, I remember, she was the one that introduced me to Wu Tang clan.

And they were, I were driving and I was, they were like, what are you listening to? I was like outcast and one of the dudes was, was from New York and he's like, you know, listen to Wu Tang. I was like, I have no idea what the fuck in Wu Tang. And they started mocking me because I didn't know what Wu Tang was.

I do, I have no idea what Wu Tang is. I was like, what's a Wu Tang?. I was like, what's a Wu Tang? And they're like, what's a Wu Tang? And like, you know who Method Man is? So I went and bought Method Man's album, and I didn't understand it. Like I didn't get it. Like I didn't get what he was taught like,

oh, like I'd never heard like. This sounds like, this sounds like, a board meeting at Augusta National right now, about letting in a new member. I don't know what his guys are. It sounds like a board meeting at Augusta National right now. About letting in a new member. I don't know what this guy's talking about. And I know that I'm fucking my chances up of ever playing golf there.

I am ruining my chances of playing golf there. Do you remember Method Man's first album though? It was confusing. If you didn't know. To Cal. That would be the way he wrapped. And it wasn't an album you can listen to in your car The iron lung man, he's just trying to catch his breath. You know smoke so much dude I'm telling you this is why I want to do another live gig

Yeah, I would listen to method man right now. Yeah, we could do that. Wu-tan clan ain't none to fuck I didn't understand heavy Wu-tan in rotation for that't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand.

I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand.

I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. always get like my favorite rappers become your best friends. Yeah, he a method man today. He will get him on the today show. Look at his fucking arms.

Yeah, he's jacked, man. I saw him dead lifting. Yeah, he's looking. He is. He's yoked. Jacked. Dude, his he did shit. He did a day in the life on MTV 24 hour thing on MTV that made me legit fall in love with that dude

I was like the a girl tried to kiss him outside his tour bus and he didn't know the cameras were on him She was like oh my god came and tried to give him a kiss He was like the fuck you doing don't kiss me. He's like I'm married She was like I know and he was like well if you respect me then respect my wife And he she was like sorry, and he goes that's cool, but just don't do that shit. And walked away, I was like, he didn't know cameras were on him, and I was like, that's a fucking good guy. Yeah. Methamant and fucking, um,

Buster Rhymes is ridiculously big. Have you seen his arms? Mm-mm. Dude, type in Buster Rhymes 85 South Show. I'm talking about 85 South way too much. I love those guys. Look at his arms on 85 South. You gotta see his...

Look at his fucking arms. Yeah, they look huge. Dude, Buster Rhymes is ridiculously big. There's like six times the size of the guy that was right. Like he's see young fly Dude, there's a clip I I'm obsessed with their goddamn show. I love their show the um What is it about hip-hop stars that when they get older they all fucking get huge like

Dr. Dre. Yeah, I think that happens to entertainers. Not just rapper. Yeah, I think like, you even see like comedians that age some get really into your body. I think it's just like, it's part of aging where you go like, I'm starting to naturally break down. So I wanna do all I can to not have it break down. That's so funny.

And it's also like you can put a lot of energy, like what thing about like being creative, I think is that you have to direct energy, you know, and you can direct it into like, if you're making an album or you're touring, you feel like you're putting so much into that. And maybe if you're not like in studio, you're not on tour, you go, I gotta direct all this energy somewhere. And you see people like really get into their

bodies at some point. Can I tell you what I did? What? I did the exact opposite. When I was 27 years old, 27 years old, I have money and I was fat. And I was, I was, and I was just the worst I'd ever been. And so I said, I'm going to put all my attention into getting myself perfect right now so that I can grab someone and get married to them and then I can just let myself fall apart. And I was like, I got to be the best bird right now. There's never going to get better bird. This is how you met your wife.

That's how I met Leana. I got in the best shape I've ever been in, met her and then I was like, all right, I'm done. I got it. I got the role. Yeah. And I'm fucking, what am I gonna do? I had met Christina after I had lost a bunch of weight. Like a lot of a bunch of weight in college.

And then, and then, wait, no. So then I come out here, you don't even remember. I gotta send you stuff. Cause we've talked about, you have no recollection. When I met you, I weighed 185, 190. No, no, yes. Fuck you. I have pictures of us.

No, give me, I'll send me one. I'll send you. You weighed 185? Yeah, yes. When I met you. And that's how I basically met Christina, and that's who she locked down. And then I was like, fuck it.

And I wasn't like, fuck it. I wasn't like, fuck it. It was a natural decline. I cannot lose weight right now. I'm like, and by the way, I also get to places where I go like yesterday, chicken breast and a salad, right? That's it. I'm gonna see if I can go ahead.

Get a call from a friend who says, hey, we love to see the new place. We get a good sunset view. You wanna go have some rosé and I was like, oh yeah, so I pour rosé into my Kool-Aid grower, like three bottles so we have enough murder rosé and then all of a sudden I'm like, Georgia, take me to go get a burger.

She was like, what? I was like, come on, let's go get burgers. And so we went to Jackson's a burger place on Tonga. I got 12 burgers and I woke up this morning going, 12 burgers. Oh yeah. I get, I have this thing where I go, I wanna make sure I'm covered, right?

Yeah. So I got 12 burgers and then, and then woke up this morning going, I didn't eat yesterday. Like, why do I feel fat as fuck? And then all of a sudden, like a serial killer I'm sure probably does, where he goes, oh my god, this blood's from that girl. There's a girl in my refrigerator.

Oh fuck. Yeah. I was like, oh my god. And then I was like, oh my god, hey, Snickers bars last night. I did a taste test between someone said they didn't like butter fingers. And I was like, I'm gonna tell, and I go, I love butter fingers.

And they're like, why? And I go, I don't know. And so I started eating butter fingers till I figured out why I liked them. And I was like, oh, I like the sharp saltiness that you get in a butter finger. I mean, every now and then you get like a, like a tw the sharp saltiness that you get in a butter finger. I mean, I mean, I know. And then you get like a, like a,

a twinge of saltiness, like, two salty. And then you're like, ooh, sweet, sweet, sweet. You know what's hilarious to hear? It's hilarious to hear. We should actually do this. We should splice you going like, I cannot lose weight right now. And then be like, I had 12 burgers

and I had, I love butter fingers and the sharp sweetness in it. So like, I had 12 burgers and I had, I love butter fingers in the sharp sweetness and it's like the comparison of, I can't lose weight with what I ate. Dude, I did a sliding scale. I did a, I did a, what's the scale when they show me Andrithal to Chromac? Oh yeah, yeah.

I did that with three musketeers, Milky Way's, and Snickers bars last night. You ate all these? I started eating. I get out of control. No, I ate like an asshole last night too. I had two cigars. I didn't do that.

Two cigars, a bolo wine, some food fight, a few burgers. I fucking fall apartment. It's like I just need someone to stop me. Yeah. But this is my problem and everything but this is it right? It's like I come into this show the same what this show is exactly where it represented in my life. I Come in and I go I go hey This is gonna be fun show we'll talk about and then I'll send them tell stories about the M word

I'm like what the fuck am I doing and then I'm like and then I'm sitting here going is is this show even good for me? And then I'm like why did I have to wear this'm like, why did I have to wear this fucking hat? Why did I have to wear this fucking hat? Ha ha ha. So you said, you said the other day that you love fucked up toenails. Oh my God, I cannot get enough of that and dilated pores.

Why do you love fucked up toenails? Do you like the, when, like, seeing them get, like, cleaned up? Cleaned up. I like when you see, like, a foot in the guy's like, and you, like, I love my feet is killing me. And then the guy's like, what is that? And then all of a sudden, you're like, you're like, and then they clean them up.

And the guy's like, all right, we'll see in two weeks. And the guy comes back in two weeks and they look normal. I love that transition. I'm really into, um, in grown toenails. them up and the guys like, all right, we'll see in two weeks and the guy comes back in two weeks and they look normal. I love that transition. I am really into ingrown toenails and ingrown toenail removal. Like, I don't know what it is. I can't stop fucking watching it. Do you give me more than anything?

They have anything with feet. For whatever reason, I'm into like feet. I remember tweeting to Cam Haynes and I was like, hey, can you send more pictures of your feet? Ah! Ah! I was like, I don't know, because he runs so much. I was like, I'm gonna see these feet.

Ah! I don't know, man. I'm fucking, I got it. I'm like, I'm, David Goggins put a picture of his feet up and I was like, oh, yeah. Fucked up. Oh, they're pretty aggressive. Yeah, he runs like ultra-marathons.

I was, I was, uh, yeah, yeah, I had a dream that I, look at David Goggins fucking big toe. He's just, it's just, oh my god. It's just ground into sand. Yeah, see, I don't like looking at that. I love it. Can you zoom in? Goggins feet.

Goggins, type in Camtain's feet. I'm good. Oh my god. Oh look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that. All right, hey we're good man. No, no, no. Dude, I'm, I get really. I'm looking for like foot porn, not like this.

Oh no, no, no, no, no. There was a guy that I followed. I used to tag him on Instagram. Fuck, yes. Oh, dude, oh, dude. When you're saying, come on. By the way, this really hurts. Like, I've watched enough of these.

This is super painful. Holy shit, man. Is there audio on this? No, okay. Oh my god. By the way my dad one of the things my dad said oh my god almost came. I would say this guy's got some issues right? There's a lot of a lot of the people that do this is there're just old people. To get like that. Yeah, a lot of old men. Toot toot toot, dilated poor removal.

Dilated poor removal. Have you ever seen this? This will make you fucking come. Dilated poor. Oh my God, that was rough. Dilated poor. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dr. Sandra Lee. Oh, is that the pimple popper lady? Yeah, she's awesome. You can play without audio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Let's get to the poor, get to the, this is not a dilated poor, I'll think, or maybe it is.

That's easier to watch for me than the toenail. The toenail was... She's got some. She's got some. Go find, this is not the best one in my opinion. I don't like it squeezing out. I like when they go get out of here, get out of this one. I could do that for a lip.

You could not give me a long enough day of pulling out the eyelid pores. God. Tell this, Nadav, reach out to Dr. Sandalili, see if she can give me a dilated pore. Find one of my pores, dilate it, and then we remove it on a live event. You really wanna do that? I would do that in a heartbeat.

Do you wish you had a cyst right now to be removed? Not a cyst, not a cyst, unlike a cyst. Why not a cyst? I don't like a cyst, because you never know what they are. You think they're cancer the whole time. Well, let's say they're not a cancer. Yeah, but I don't wanna assist. Why not? I don't like it, because you never know what they are. You think they're cancer the whole time. Well, let's say they're not cancer. Yeah, but I don't want to assist. I want to dilate it poor.

But do we know that like, is there an actual definition for what is a dilated? I think the definition is dilated poor. Let's see here. Some doctors or skin care professionals may try to move the dilated pore of what? Winer? Yeah, I think you're I think just wow hold on. Oh, it's just real quick.

I want you to see what his initial search was. Yeah, what? One nine S is dot is what? One nine a S and I'm delighted. I got I got fat stubby fingers. I missed type. is what? What? One nine, a, s, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and filling with oil and that oil calcifies and gets hard. And then it just starts expanding that pore. So the ant had one on her face and she popped it and a seed came out.

This is when she was a kid and a hole was there. I loved this hole. I swear to God, I loved this hole was my favorite thing about her because back when we first started dating and she let me do anything to her It would fill up with dried skin or makeup and she let me clean it out Can I tell you hardcore secret time? I think she'd be bothered by this. Yeah, one time I was about to go down on the end and she was like I'm from a mountain belly button and I was like huh, and I looked and I was like oh there down on the end. And she was like, I'm from a Mott Belly button. And I was like, huh? And I looked and I was like, oh, there's like a thing in here.

And she was like, what? I was like, she was like, I can't see it. And I was like, hold on. And I pulled out a rock of whatever the fuck had accumulated in her belly button. And it was the most. I mean, it was like, I thought of that when I fucked her. I was like, pulling that thing out of her, pulling that thing out of her.

I don't know what it is, man. I'm like, what that thing out of a, pulling that thing out of her. I don't know what it is, man. I'm like, what'd you pull out? I was like, it was like a rock of like, of like, shit that just gathered in her belly button and gotten hard and been there for a while. And it just accumulated. She never took it out. And then all of a sudden I removed it. And I, I think about that more often than I think about the birth of our children.

Okay. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Oh my god. Naval stones. Typen fucking naval stones. Typen fucking naval stones. Oh my god. Naval stones? This is like, this is, oh my god, this is why I love this podcast. Naval stones. Naval stones. Naval stones. Naval stones. Ugh. Ugh. Real quick. Go to YouTube to have a naval stone removal. Naval stone removal. Oh my god. Nables stones Real quick go to YouTube type of navel stone removal navel stone oh my god

Navel stone There you go Extracting the biggest stone navel stones. Oh Warning this bit Navel stones. What the fuck is a naval stone my goodness. Oh Shut the fuck up Oh, that's in their belly button. That's in their fucking belly button Holy oh Oh my god, oh my god. I

Think I'll stick to past photos. Oh yeah, shout out to Plei- Shout out to Plei- I'm gonna do this by myself. Yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna watch this by myself. Turn this off, thanks a lot. So yeah, we gotta shout out on the Reddit, what's it called, community here?

Because we had Michael Stahl. Michael Stahl, Michael Stahl. We had him, you called him and- He texted us and was like, hey guys, I'm really into a lot of the shit you're into, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he gave me a shout, but they gave us a shout on the past PLASTTT subreddit, which is Pussy legs

asked, toenails and tits. Yeah, smile. Sorry, sorry, yes. Pussy asked legs, smile, toenails and tits. It is, you know what I love about it though? A lot of it's like regular girls. That's what it's like. That's the Emma's diet and she could not get her head around it.

Oh my god. And I was like, so sad. This is great. It's so great. And I go, you know what it is? It's my favorite new thing. Yeah. I go to this, I go to this subreddit and I J.M.I.D.

J.M.I.D D mm-hmm it's great the um I and I she goes I don't get it and I go what do you mean you don't get it she goes I don't get it like why is this what what's so sexy about I go it's not sexy it's fun it's fun it makes it makes it real like all of a sudden like you can see their personality yeah like you all of a sudden as opposed to important where it's, my problem with porn is that it's just like, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, and they're like, oh, suck this dick, fuck this pussy. Yes, it's very manufactured.

Yeah, and this makes you feel more authentic. You can see that, like, when I love when they curl their toenails, because I go, that's what I'm talking about. That makes me believe in America. Do I ever tell you about the best lap dance I ever got? No, but I think I might have. My takes getting hearts, we should probably close that. Go ahead.

Wait, did we get any submissions of R? Oh yeah, we had our own acronym. SubEEP, SubEEP, underarm, behind the ear. But no underwear, what was SubEEP? What was SubEEP? What scared underwear behind the ear armp but no underwear. What was the beep? What was the beep? What scared underwear behind the ear armpits? Yeah. That was actually a pretty good one, my dear.

That was great. Oh, I have a feeling that- By the way, that's the angle. And like, our submissions are all gonna look like these types of guys. I got that. That's not gonna be. I didn't think it was a big, I didn't think of,

I thought maybe there'd be more dudes, more girls. Ah! Ah! Thank you guys. Oh, that's fucking great. I didn't think of, I thought maybe there'd be more dude, more girls. Ah! Thank you guys. Oh, that's fucking great. These are beeps are getting me going. So beeps. Yep.

Very good. Oh, this is fucking fun. So best lap dance I ever got. I go, we go, we're in, we're in, um, I was able say remember where we were, I'll call Ron. Ron knows the same, not Ron knows the name of the club. Oh yeah, did he know if he took all the work there? So Ron, the best part was Ron loves strip clubs.

And he goes, we're like, hey man, he always wants to go strip club with us. We go to strip club, the last night of tour, we're in, I forget the name of the city we're in we're in Oh, by the way, never mind and And so I pull out like a ton of money. We just had a good tour and I give everyone. Hey you there? Hey, what was what was city? Were we in when we I grew on two bears one cave

What city were we in when we went to that strip club where Andrew didn't want to touch the girls What city were we in when we went to that strip club where Andrew didn't want it touch the girls We're way in Fort Wayne okay perfect Everyone Yeah, yeah, I do it to bears one game oh All right, all right, I'll call you back. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

So we're in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And the owner of the strip club had come to my show. I mean, he was backstage with some girls. They'd all come to show. And he's like, you guys should come back. And we had never been to strip club the whole time we've been on tour. Yeah.

So I was like, let's do it big. Let's go big. So I go, we made good money. I go, I'll pull out some cash. Everyone's got like, you know, $1,500 bucks, whatever. Have fun. Let's just fucking have fun. They came out the show, give them money back.

We have a good time. So we roll in and Ron is in his element. I mean, Ron's like, it's almost like watching a kid who is like watching Rick Glassman play basketball. And so... Yeah, shout out to Rick. Yep, and so... I'm sitting there, I kind of stopped getting lap dances for a period of time.

So I was just like, I didn't like the power energy about it. So I'm talking to the manager and one of these, one girl come by really attractive girl comes out, fucking ski jacket and it's snowing out and she's like, oh my God, the fuck are you doing here? I said, oh, he just came to the strip club and she was like, aw, fuck. She was like, I'm like, I'm such a big fan

and I was like, oh, cool, hang out. She's like, no, I just got done work, I'm gonna go home. She was like, oh my God, I would have loved if given you a lap dance and I was like, oh, cool, hang out. She's like, no, I just got done work. I'm gonna go home. She was like, oh my God, I would have loved if giving you a lap dance. And I was like, actually, I've always had a joke about it. And I've wondered, I would love to play it out. I said, I used to be a joke. I'm on my tour bus and I'll put some music on it.

I was at the joke. I said, I always thought it's never the same thing about porn. You go to a strip club and the girls are already halfway naked and then all they do is take off a top and there's no sexiness to it. Usually the sexiness is getting a woman undressed. That's what we're into.

She is in full ski clothes, not ski clothes, but full, winter outfit. And I said, I'll tell you what, I'd like to get a lap dance from you like this. She goes, well, I don't wanna go change. I went, no, no, no. I wanna see you take all of it off. And she went, what?

I said, I had a bit about this. And I go, I'm not asking for a full lap dance, but if you wanna give me a lap dance, I would take a lap dance, but I want you, winner code on everything. Like scarf, hat, all of it. And she was like, I'll fucking do that. And I was like, let's do it.

And so we go back. And oddly enough, we didn't even go to like a very private place. We went right, like, just right wherever we was. And it was fucking awesome because she was no longer, and I don't mean this disrespectful, she wasn't a stripper, she wasn't person. She wasn't like someone who was disconnected, that came out really bad.

She wasn't someone that was disconnected from her job, she was connected to who she was as a person. And so she starts taking her coat off and then she's like, oh shit, I have an ugly brawn. And I was like, oh this is real, this is what it's like. And then she's like, where was this? This was the fucking a year ago?

Yeah, by the way, you really do treat this like a confessional when you come in here. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, by the way, it gets worse, it gets worse. It gets worse. But she ended up stop doing the lap dance because she was embarrassed and she started,

she was like, oh my God, I can't believe that like, this is like fucking weird. And I was like, yeah, right? And she was like, and it was like the sexy things, like the beltmark and her stomach from her pants that you're like, that's what a woman looks like. Women don't always look like glassy and like silky and and smell great. Which is back to why plastic is awesome. That's why plastic is awesome. Same team, same team. So then last five dance I get, and then I get a fucking break the walls down and I start getting lapses, right? And so

this one girl is, well, I ended up getting a lap dance from someone else just as kind of a cool thing. And then towards the end of the night, this one girl, there's two girls come over and they're like, hey, the manager said that we need to give you a lap dance. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I just tip them and I said,

well, I never asked what the rules are. I've been like, there are rules when you go to strip club. And the girl goes, they said there's no rules for you. I've been like, cause you know, there are rules when you go to strip club. And the girl goes, they said there's no rules for you. And I was like, what? She's like, I don't know, you're famous. You can do whatever you want. And I was like, for real? And I'm like, yeah, and I went awesome.

Grab my phone and I FaceTime cow head. And she's like, what are you doing? I said there's no rules. I'm gonna show my friends. Didn't dodge them, didn't do. I just fucking didn't need to answer. Jesus. This is so different than different than the guy that owned the venue that I performed at and was like,

hey, I own a strip club and we went with him and we walked in and it was so sad. I'm not gonna say it was so sad and he's like, hey, you know, Crystal, get over here. He's like, how you doing, babe? And she goes, I feel sick. And. He's like, how'd you check that out as this fucking guy?

And so then I feel like I'm a rescue dog. You know, I'm like, uh, I go, you need to leave. She's like, I gotta go home. And he's like, oh, just want to come on you. I'm like, this how you talk to your employees? Yeah, I guess the Me Too movement hasn't reached strip clubs. No, and then he was like, isn't she hot? And I was like, I mean, maybe when she's not sick.

Yeah. Cause she looks kind of worn down and she's telling us that she's sick. And he's like, yeah, you wanna go? I was like, I think we're good. We just had a drink and we were like, we split. Dude, you know, I missed that. I missed that.

There was like, that's a part of like, stand-up comedy energy where you'd go to. Oh, and there was, sorry, there was a girl who was on like the run like the main stage and she had a jacket on. And like, I go, do they always wear a jacket? He goes, no, he goes, hey, why are you wearing a fucking jacket? Like, he screamed it and she forgot and she was like, I'm cold. Oh, cold. Yeah. I was like, this is pretty cool. I missed that, like, I missed that doing radio and strippers would come in. One of my favorite ones I ever did was we had,

we had, I did cow head one time, and I had told them about downblowsing. And these girls, I guess, girls were gonna come in and get naked to win money or whatever. This back when radio could do that shit. And then we were like, I was like, don't let them get naked, just have them downblows us

and whoever downblows us the best. See if you can find pictures of that. Type in cow head, downblousing, and then maybe Bert. No, it's not gonna be on the podcast. No. Type in images, go to images. No, I can't.

Was that girl doing it right there? Where, where, where, that girl? No, that's Carmen. No, no, she definitely wasn't. No, but it was, it was so awesome. It was that, and it was like, was like, I think the older I get, the more I get attached to the subtlety of sexuality. As opposed to just like, I don't know,

or the fascinating, like the subgenres, or strip clubs don't do it the way they did when I was like 18 and you're like, I'm seeing someone naked. Now I wanna see someone naked with like some English on it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. with like some English on it, you know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well yeah, I mean, you actually have a good mind for, like you, I'd never heard it down-blasting to you.

You knew about the plast thing. Like you find these. It's an example. A little quick stand, a little spin on the ball. And that's I think from age, right? Like that's just like. I think just being bored and going like, what can I find that's I think from age right like that's just like I think just being bored and going like what can I?

What can I find that's sexy? I I know I've told you about the the freeze motion Japanese porn. Yes Yes, yeah, like stuff like and that was good too like that was really good Yeah, and but and the here's a weird thing is like I'm I mean as older my daughters get I have a real disconnect with like porn Cuz I'm like I don't know I feel weird being a dad that has daughters. Yeah, that have I had a real disconnect with like porn because I'm like, I don't know, I feel weird being a dad that has daughters that have, I had a dream last night. And they're probably exposed to porn, which is so weird. Like the kids of this age all have these. So like they're probably sent things

to each other all the time, you know? Do you, can you imagine? We had to get a hold of a videotape and get a VCR to see crazy shit. And you had to have a loan time when you knew no one's home. You couldn't just check your phone and go, life 360, where are my family at? All right, I got time to jerk off.

Yeah, no. You'd be like, I hope my dad's not on his way home. Yeah. Jesus, I can't believe I never got caught jerking off. I know. I mean, I'm like, I got never got caught jerking off. I never got caught. Never.

And I did it so much. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I, I gotta give a off. I never got caught. I never. And I did it so much. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I, I gotta give a shout out to Nidav. We were talking about this last week. The funniest thing Nidav's ever said, we were talking about jerking dudes off. Do you remember this?

And I was like, I immediately go, I jerked a dude off great, but I had never jerked someone off this way. I've only done myself, right? So I go, I'd have to get behind them and jerk them off as if I'm doing it myself. And the dog goes, yeah, like you're putting on someone's tie for them.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this. Yeah. What was I just about to say? Oh, I had a dream. I had a dream that Georgia started dating a 32 year old man last night, right?

Is that my dreams are pretty intense so George just starts dating him. He lives in Philadelphia 16 she's 16. He lives in Philadelphia. He found her online and he's been grooming her like like you know Yeah, like send me some pictures what not and she's your dream is my dream and I find out and she goes You're not gonna separate the two of us dad. I'm in love with him and I go god damn it. You're not in love with him He's a fucking dirtbag and he's older and this is what fuck I go fuck that. So I fighting with Georgia and Joey Diaz calls and he goes, dog, we pay this guy a visit. Right? This is my dream. So me and Joey Diaz go to a bar in Philadelphia.

We walk in, Joey goes, which one is he? And as we walk in, the one guy behind the bar sees us and starts to leave I go he knows who we are and we go and Joey grabs them in the back and Joey breaks all his fucking fingers one by one With a hammer in this dream and he's like you never text Georgia, Christa. Do you understand that? I won't do anything. No, we're making sure you won't do it because next time we come in We cut your fucking fingers off and I like, and I'm just watching Joey break finger by finger and I woke up, I wanted to call Joey and thank him.

It's a very vivid dream man. I'm having a hard time with being a parent of a teenager. I actually know by the way I worked with somebody where this person was employed after doing some time and they were from one of the large Los Angeles gangs. Yeah, and when I was complaining about my issue with somebody He was like you get like a few hundred bucks together. I know some guys that will go and break that guy's legs and everything I was like okay

Broken femurs a game changer. Yeah, it's a game changer in life. You'd life will never be the same. Yeah, and if like Somebody could do it under a grand. That's a great value. I'll tell you right now There was I won't say names, but there was a there was a professional football player who was accused of rape Uh-huh, I went to Florida State and you know, I'm talking about and I thought yeah, you narrowed down a few seasons This podcast is so bad for a career. The And I thought as a father if someone did that to my daughters It's game over. Yeah, of course. I don't even need I don't even need believe all women

I don't need he said she said I don't need a court of justice my daughter says it happens I cut their fingers off easy. I cut off all their fingers and I enjoy it I take my time with it. I really I really would be so if someone hurt my daughters I would be so vengeful that I couldn't control myself. I could not fucking Control myself. I think that emotion is very relatable for like all parents. All parents, I mean, you think of, I maybe, I'm, but I'm probably, Lee asked me, he goes, what would you do if I like killed one of your kids?

And I was like, what? I go over the fact that like, you're gonna ask that. I start getting creative on how I'd kill him. I take him to the beach and I'd bury him up to here in a hole. And I'd wait till the tide came in and I'd sit and I'd drink. And I'd both cigarette smoke in his face. And I'd just drink and I'd watch him die slowly. It's a good one.

I told him I would disembowel him in front of his family and make them eat pieces of him. Yeah. Well, that would be cool. I can't believe there's not more revenge murders. There are, well, there's more of them, yeah. Like, you know, there was that case a few years ago, where a guy had been, I forget if he was arrested

or convicted, maybe he had been arrested for kidnapping and I think kidnapping killing a kid. And he was at the airport arriving because like an ext edition or something and the the father was at the airport and he pulled out a gun and he shot him I'm but I would that no no and the judge Was like yeah, we understand that there needs to be more judges like that. Yeah, and by the way I'm not I hope I'm not selling callus I Wouldn't just shoot someone. I wouldn't want to enjoy it.

I wouldn't take my time with it. Like I would really, I have, sometimes I have fantasies that I come into my house and dudes have, are like breaking into my house and then my daughters, my wife tied up and I overtake them. And my favorite saying in these fantasies are, oh, we're gonna have a fun next month. And I put them in a box and I keep them under my bed.

Every now and then I go, you didn't think this is gonna happen, did you? You didn't think, you have no control of your life. Like I fucking fantasize if someone were my family. I like, I really kind of boggles my mind that there aren't more revenge murders. I have a similar fantasy where like I've always played out taking my time too.

And so for me, it's about kind of kidnapping and putting the person basically under, you know? Like a chloroform kind of thing. And then when they wake up, they're tied up. You know, and they don't know where they are. They don't know what happened. But it's the person that wronged me. And then I slowly do things like cut open their quad

and pour salt in it. I knew what movie you're going to. Oh yeah. No, not texture. You know what movie it is? It's the guy. It's not, it's, it's, it's the, one of the movie stars, his family gets murdered

and he goes to prison, he goes to prison and then he escapes out of prison and slowly tortures the people that hurt his family. Do you know what movie this is? It's maybe it's by the guy that played, he's the Scottish guy, he's got a little bit of a noxent like that, you know? Not sure

Was it taken no it's not taken well taken kind of take it's shot, right but like Taken took in No, it's a Ty maybe it's the guy Who's the who's the movie star that was in like 300? Was that that guy Gerard Butler? Gerard Butler, type in Gerard Butler, type in Gerard Butler movies, and then let's see what movies there are. And I guarantee you with Tim, I just want to say it's certainly him. Okay. That's the guy.

Gerard Butler, go, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah. Keep going, okay, stop expanding them. A law-binding citizen. Law-binding citizen. Law-binding citizen. That was Jamie Fock. Yeah. Law-binding citizen. Have you seen the scene where he tortures the guy?

He first cuts off his eyelids and then has a mirror and he goes, I want you to see all of this. Yeah. Oh, that's what I do. Yeah. Look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the kind of thing you would do.

Towards your scene. Yeah. I would definitely do that. I would definitely, like, I'm actually shocked. I'm really, I'm a stun that you can or your society isn't run this way. You could do that thing too, or like, cause I figure, you know, take like an electric drill

and just like jab it in someone's knee or their foot and then they're screaming and they pass out and you give them adrenaline to wake up. Yeah. And you could, I'll tell you what, let's make a deal right now, okay? If anything happens to our families, we have to do this someone.

Yeah, we help each other out. Yeah, definitely. I would help you out in a heartbeat. And then when we got arrested, went to prison, I'd be in cell with you going, we did the right thing. Yeah, we did the right thing. You gotta put a sign out. You gotta put a sign in front of your house.

Let everyone know. You heard my family, I heard everyone in your family. Imagine like if you just make an incision, like right by the ear, and you peel the skin off like you're peeling an orange off of someone's face. I cover them in dilated pores. Yeah. And I just removed dilated pores every day from their body and then my dilated pore Picker outer. Hey, what what what what what what was I just thinking and then you go like oh, I didn't know you wanted to transition to being a woman to the guy I was like oh

Is this your tongue? Can we hit your tongue? I'm so sorry. I'll remove your testicles for you. Yeah, I am Yeah, I'm more I'm getting more and more attached. That sounds horrible to my family. Like I know that I should have been that way my whole life, but like I think as more the closer my daughters want to leave, the more I'm trying to get everyone to stay and not go anywhere. And I just, I'm not like, George got in a car accident and the dude that hit her, some guy ran in the car like George got in the car accident and and the dude that hit her some guy ran in and she got in the car accident right away.

Yeah, she had her like a week. What someone to be your editor? We're editor and then the guy got in her face and like was like like started fucking yell at her and she was getting any cornering her and dude if it wasn't for Some guy at the laundry mat older black dude comes out and was like get the fuck out of her face and Fucking protected Georgia and Georgia was like thank you and then and then she was like and then Georgia just you know It's it left and I go did you you think the guy and she was like, I don't know. It's so scared and so And the other day we're going I'm driving to the laundry mat with her and I'm like see if you can find the guy So I want to go and thank her and I'm like, see if you can find the guy. So I want to go and thank him and give him like a hundred bucks.

You know, he's gonna be like, hey man, thanks. I think he works the laundromat. But, uh, fucking driving with that kid is a nightmare. So is she driving again or no? She's driving again and has no sense of direction. Meaning like, like, doesn't know, like, we pull, we got into a big fight about it, but like, just pulls out, I actually got no fight with the Ann about this. So she pulls out and then she's like,

I'm just gonna take a left and I go, we're doing, hold on, you have to cross two lanes of traffic, it's a four lane highway, you're not gonna, it's easier, baby, just to not cross traffic like that, where you don't have a light. It's easier to find the light. She goes, mom does it and I go, yeah, mom grew up

in a fucking town where they had a donkey and a fucking stop light. And so she don't have a light. She's here to find the light. She goes, mom does it and I go, yeah, mom grew up in a fucking town where they had a donkey and a fucking stop light. And so she doesn't have, she has no frame of reference. But if you grew up in a city, you normally go to the lights and she goes, that's not true. And then Leigh Ann jumps in and she goes,

you can cross, that's fine. You just wait for your turn and I go, why invite a massive accident into your life when you could just go to the light and then turn it to light and she was like, huh? And I was like, am I crazy? Like why the fuck? Yeah, why wouldn't you and the answer like hang on getting an accident? I go tell the person that gets fucking teaboned at 40 miles per hour. Yeah, by the way by the way Leandro my bike last night. Yeah and it's a little tall for her. And I'm not lying when I say she takes it

up, she's having a blast, takes it back. And then as she gets up to me, she dives off of it. She dove off the fucking bike. Why? She was like, I couldn't get my feet down. So she dove, thank God I caught the bike. She literally saw him, right? And then just went, and dove off the fucking bike. I was like what, and she goes, I know you think I was being dramatic. I can't touch my feet.

I was like you dove into the street, you dove onto the street. Like you could have fucking really hurt yourself. You dove, she dove. Fucking, she's so frustrated about our birthday present game. Like you can fucking really hurt yourself. You dope, you dope. Fucking. She's so frustrated about our birthday present game. She is? Because I started googling things I was gonna buy you. And she's like, first of all, we're not buying that.

And I was like, we're not buying it for you. We're buying it for Tom. She was like, hold on, hold on. She was like, so excited, so excited. Can I tell you, this is what she's upset with. Cause I go, you know, we're gonna spend more money on each other the next time she goes Yeah, and I said so if I spend 20 grand on his next birthday Then in November I'm getting something 25 grand like it's gonna be getting that back

And she was like that's not the way to think about this. She goes just do better than he did I go oh or I can step up the game and make this escalate really quickly. Yeah until the point where he's like I got you a jet fuck This needs to be I'm telling you we to make a, we need to make an a website, we need to make a website where we can team up dudes who buy each other presents. So why don't they have a Tinder for friends? Let's create Tinder for friends. Let's create Tinder for friends. Okay. Where you, well I guess you could use Tinder and just not fuck them, huh? Yeah, but I mean they're trying to get you to fuck, you know.

I guess ultimately we'd end up, people would end up fucking like they just. People would always end up fucking yeah. They like, I thought we were gonna hang out on the friend and then he fucked me. He fucked me, yeah. By the way, we got totally distracted way earlier from what you were going to talk about,

which was the flag in your home. This is, by the way, this is me. This show should be called Burke Cancel's himself. But just like, what is the scenario? I just thought you sent this in a text and I was like, what are you, what is this? This is your living room? Yeah, this is our living room.

And so for people listening, you see that you're in the living room, but sitting on a chair, there's couches, there's bookshelves, then there's, your main focus goes to that there's television and there's a football game on it, and then underneath it, an enormous make America great, Trump 2020 flag.

Products as kept, promises made, promises kept. Right, and that's, that's in your living room, Trump 2020 flag. Like this kept promises made promises kept. Right. And that's in your living, and prominently displayed of your fireplaces. Above your fireplaces. As if we're waiting for Santa Claus. Right. And it's like, obviously you go,

okay, this is a big Trump fans home. And then I just didn't know. And you're like, let's talk about it. So what's the story? So I got fucking lit up by everyone. And I didn't even know this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I posted it on Instagram Stories

forgetting that that Trump flag was there. I am just talking about the cowboys and the Steelers and how the spread wasn't even being covered. I was losing money on that. And I forgot I put the flag up. So we were in Arizona when doing hot summer nights tour, and there were Trump flags everywhere.

And you, but I could not find a place to buy one. I wanted to buy one, because I just wanted to buy one. I wanted it and Ron is done, not very against Trump. By the way, Ron, I'm not gonna tell you my politics. Ron is very against Trump. Very against Trump. I'm not gonna tell you my politics, but I will tell you I did not vote for Donald Trump.

Okay, okay. So just so everyone's clear, but I'm a comedian. I don't give a fuck about any of this. My thing is the joke. I just want to giggle about stuff. So like we had an incident where Trump supporters were on the corner in Arizona. Did you see this? And you told me this. And I started honking towards them. And like, hey, and then they started cheering. And then we started laughing going like, oh, they think I'm big Trump. And then Ron, he was taking a piss where to stop light. He jumps back in the seat and he starts honking and they start going nuts and runs like, oh yeah. And then he doesn't realize he's honking at Trump's

supporters and they see a black man driving a shirtless man's bus and they're like, and he's like, fuck you, like out the window. And we're like, easy, Ron. And then a big fucking ride almost ensued. So we got. So we did the show in Arizona and I said I kept saying, you guys all have Trump flags but you cannot see where they sell them. I don't see a place to buy them. You can't get them in a Walmart

or a target. Like where are you guys getting their Trump flags? And so, and then a little back and forth of me in the audience went on that was that I will not engage about That was because it was right before the election and then and then this dude came up and he was like, Amen. I got you a Trump flag back like up to the front at the end of the show and I grabbed it and I first again as I put it in the bus where right behind Ron and Ron's like fucking hell No, and he's like we're getting rid of that flag right now So I had to hide it so I could keep pulling it out to fuck with Ron. My daughters are despite their unintelligence

or uninsightfulness about anything politics, they are very politically motivated. They are, they have big broad views on the world and they're fucking dialed in. Now, their teens, their 14 to 16, Leanne and I both applaud their passion, but you know, whatever, they're not gonna get to vote. So, but they are very anti-Donald Trump, very anti.

So, the last thing we do is I come home from tour on Sunday, I think, and the last thing I'm gonna do with this flag is I'm gonna put it up in a front yard, but I can't, so the girls come home and they see a it up in a front yard. But I can't, so the girls come home and they see a Trump flag in a front yard. But I can't get our fucking, I can't flip out our American flag pole with the thing and they're coming home, so I panic.

So I run in and I put it on our mantle, a big Trump 2020 sign, the flag. And the girls, this is great by the way, just dad in the home fun. Yes. This is exactly what you're looking for. Yeah, this is everything. So I get the fucking ring cam setup. I'm gonna record it.

So like, or the NAS cam, and the girls come in and lose their shit. By the way, they already know I've not voted for Donald Trump, I think, right? No, no, no, no. Lachian hasn't even come out yet. No wait, yeah, this is the other day, right? I mean, this was Sunday, this was Sunday. And so, No wait, yeah, this is the other day, right? This was Sunday, this was Sunday.

And so yeah, yeah, come back. And so they've already know that I didn't vote for Donald Trump, but they see the sign and they get fucking livid. Like George, he goes to a room, to won't talk to me. I was like, Dad, take that down, we need to burn that flag. I'm like, we're not burning any flag. First of all, this thing's fucking comic gold. I'm gonna hold onto this for the rest of my goddamn life. And so, and so they all leave. And I start talking to

the end and then I start having a drink and then I start watching football and I forget that the Trump flags up. Totally forget. And then I go fucking cowboys aren't covered the goddamn spread. And I shoot the video and then I post it and all of these jokes are now gone and I have divided my fan base in half. I am getting destroyed by people and I'm like what the fuck are they taught? I'm going Twitter. I'm like what the fuck's everyone's a oh my god and then I'm like oh my god the Trump flag still up. I'm doing videos with Trump flags everywhere. It's like the time okay and I have another confession to make. We were in Alabama, Island needed a hat,

and she put on a Make America grade again hat, and I said, we're definitely buying that, okay? And so we shot videos with Island as Make America grade. She didn't know what the hat meant at all. She was like 12, and one time, do you remember one time I was face timing with you? And that hat is up by our door, and I go, then you go, what the fuck is behind you when I go

What are you talking about you're like behind you and oh, that's our make I understand that this is super Like fucking loaded with people in this world right now. Yeah, I feel like it's so divided It's really crazy so divided, but my my goals to just giggle. I just want to make like I don't I don't really give a fuck about any of that, but man, just play the video and you can see that it's like You can't even tell You can't even tell that I like just listen to it. I literally am just it is the fucking Ultimate like troll without ever planning to troll it. Yeah. Yeah, let me tell you something I'm rooting for Pittsburgh to stay in the feed it. I bet on Pittsburgh I bet on but when they don't cover the spread like this

I just don't mean beat them Dallas. I didn't know you were gonna I did not realize the flyers. Seriously? I swear to you on the life of both of my children really I had no fucking clue that fucking It's so prominent. It looks like you're the most devout donor. Oh, it's so prominent. It's right there and man, people, some people are like good on you, Bert. Oh yeah, yeah.

Way to fucking let Hollywood know who the fuck you are. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, easy buddy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I was like, I don't think you know who I am. Ha ha ha ha. Fucking so sorry to let you down. People took everything, like,

they're still all right now as this is like playing out, but like, people take, anything you say or do, yeah, I got the same thing where it's like encouraging or people were like, thought you were different, man. It's not surprise. And you're like, okay, all right, bud. This one girl was like, this is outrageous. And then I like had a DMer and be like,

I had a follower, then DMer, and be like, yo, just so you know, like like I had to explain it into an attack and then I was like I'm not gonna explain this to her But by the way if you if I really bums me out that that's where our country's right now I know it's not go. Hey, I support so I didn't everyone's like well then I can't fucking trust you fake media And you're like hold on or if you go I spoke Jorgensen. Who the fuck votes for Joe Jorgensen? Mine's will not vote. It's a wasted vote. It's like Kanye. The birthday party.

If you vote for Kanye. Seriously, like, your piece of shit. I think they should actually take those people aside and go, hey, you guys gotta go prison for a year. Yeah. Like, that was really stupid what you did. And we're setting Kanye with you. And we're setting Kanye with you. I think it's just lost our chance of getting,

this has been a very volatile hot button episode. I thought it wouldn't be shocked if this got Tim Dylan numbers. I really appreciate you letting me back on the show. It's been fun and I apologize for all the things I did about an adob and It's always good to have someone hit me up. They're like hey man When you're gonna be on two bears won cave again, I was like I'm all at all the time. You missed what you missed two episodes Man, I miss three three. Yeah, but you've been on you're the only guy to spend I met him is for you the only guy's been on tour

Wait, I did one with Leanne. One with Bobby Lee. Yeah. One with Tim Kennedy or Tim Dylan. Yeah. And one with Ryan Sikler. Oh, you're right. So it's four.

That's four in three months. What? I think what's only fair is to have our fans rate who did best out of those four substitutes. That's fine to me, yeah. Who? You wanted in the YouTube comments? I can do it on, ooh. With this episode, I'm saying.

Yeah, in this episode, tell us who you think did best. Leanne, Chrysure. Yeah, which was the best guest bear of the lockdown? Leanne? Tim Dylan. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee and Ryan Sikler. It's interesting, I have my notes.

I won't watch them because I get jealous. Sorry, you can email at two bears, one cave at gmail.com and you just put best guest bear in the subject line. Today I put on Twitter. You can't watch? I can't watch them, I get jealous. Really?

Yeah. I don't know when we were, I mean, at least I'm honest about shit. Here's the biggest problem with me is I'm super honest and I think it fucks, I'm not good at, I wish I could be like, have a PR presence. I do fucking interview, I did an interview for the good one.

Have you heard of that podcast with Vulture? It's actually a really great podcast. Really? Yeah, it's a really great podcast. They take one of your jokes and you take one of your jokes and then you break down how you wrote it and how you arrived at the point. Who hosts this?

I got damn it. Jamie, might just, we didn't text to them today. Jamie. I've heard of this actually. I'll tell you who hosts it. By the way, I just posted on Twitter if the vaccine comes out in December, will you take it or wait for it to see

if it gives people tales. Jesse David Fox hosts it. And everyone is saying, I'm not gonna take it. That no one's gonna take it. Well, here's the thing, man. Bill Gates and his friends are just trying to control us and get us sick and make more money. And that's one of the main reasons not only am I not

gonna take that vaccine, but any vaccine. By the way, anti-vaxxers are like, this is their moment. This is their moment. This is their 9-11 vaccine. Yeah. So you guys. Oh, for you're gonna be autistic, are ya?11. This is the... This is the... You guys. Oh!

For you gonna be autistic, are ya? Yeah. What if we all get to that scene and we all be turned out to think? What happened? And the anti-backshars are like, look like I'm on the fucking world now. No. Could be.

I mean, you know, possibly talking about a few hundred million doses going out like that, you know? Do you, what do you do? Do you wait a year? No, you can take it. Yes, really? Yes. Yes, dude. What if you, what if you do, like you do when, when you do like a go shot of it, you're like, I'll take it, and you don't take it, you like, I'll take it. Really? Yeah. Would you give it to your kids? Sure. Really? Sure. Really? Sure, really?

If it's like, I'm not talking about something you made at the house. But if this is a proof, then it's gone through all the, like nothing that's been like, oh, this is a rushed version of this. But if this is an approved and tested vaccine and doctors are, you know, my doctors, I'm not like talking about like some guy on Twitter who's like, let me break it down for you. I think I'll talk to these infectious disease doctors. Yeah, then it is funny. I'm listening to people on Twitter break down the vaccine. I'm like, who the fuck are you? You talk to infectious disease doctors and they'll tell you on it because there are, if it's a vaccine

where doctors are split, that lets you know what you need to know, right? That's, if there's literally a split in the medical community about the effectiveness of it or the safety of it, that's not ready. But if they're saying this is ready for public consumption and it's effective, and the Pfizer one, they said, was 90 public consumption and it's effective and the Pfizer one, they said it was like 90% effective.

90% effective. I mean, why would you not take that? I was thinking, I was thinking, yeah, hold up, see what happens. How long? Sit back in the cut for six months. See if anyone starts growing a tail. Just see if like, see if like there's,

I don't know, I mean, ultimately, I guess the, here's the deals Okay, listen to the dummies on social media your parents will definitely take it because then because I mean not to be Crasped but they've got 20 more years maybe you know, not 20. Yeah And so yeah, so like they'll take it because what what are the side effects? Well, who gives a fuck? I get to go live a solid five years Yeah, I don't have to worry about getting this fucking disease that is murdering my generation.

And then, and then, and then, but me, I go, I don't know, what if, I'm scared to take everything. Like, you don't get vaccines. I get vaccines, but I, like, I got the flu shot before we went on tour and then I got the flu. What about your girls? You give them back, they take care. I got the flu. What about your girls? Did they take the... They got all vaccine, they did.

Yeah. Fucking you fell for it, dummy. What about you guys in the booth? Would you take the vaccine? Yeah, yeah, I would definitely take it. Other guys? Chris? Yeah, of course I take it.

Yeah. I might just invite R.E. to my house and have him slip it to me. That way I feel better about taking it. I'm like god damn it. I guess I got vaccinated. Oh my god What did we not cover on today's episode? Well? We got some good race discussions some sex stuff some porn stuff some gross stuff some political stuff. This is a real fucking This is a bank. It's board is bored. Yeah. You basically came and you said,

I'm no fucking guest host. And you came here and dropped a hammer on it. Hey, try to ruin your career that quick, my stickler. All right. Well, this was fun. We're going to be, we're going to be competing in some stuff coming up. We keep working out details. Yeah, yeah, yeah. privately. We'll announce it soon, but it'll be fun. We're going to be competing in some stuff coming up. We keep working out details. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Privately we'll announce it soon, but it'll be fun.

We're going to try to figure out another time to do another live one. I love that live one. We're going to figure out another time to do another live one. I really love that live. That was the most fun. And people loved it. It was great, man. If you miss the live one, people have asked you go to TomSuger.com or YMHStudio.

What is it? Reynolds page? Yeah, Rennels. TomSigger.com slash Rennels. And it has the other lives that we did and this, the two bears won. And then we're doing YMH Live number three on November 20th. So if you have not gotten tickets, you want a Thanksgiving one? Well, it's the week before. So yeah, it's for the week of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving's the 26th. So this will come out the 20th. It's available through the 29th if it were the ticket. And we have Danny Brown, Mark Rebier, doing original music. Mark Rebier, oh by the way, I saw him. My sister Maria saw him on your, Mark Rebier is a really interesting dude.

Talented guy man. Really fucking talented. He did those driving. Yeah, he did. Same same as me, but his shows, I think his shows. A sick show. I think it's, I think it's actually the, like I heard him talking about it and going like, yeah, it works, you know, but I think I think he has an advantage because he's so different than what any, and it's such a live event. It is. And he actually set up a phone line on stage.

Phone line, I think, if I'm not mistaken, I don't wanna take, I think he did his show from inside a green room, inside a green room screen on the, on the stage. Yeah, yeah, that guy's fucking, that guy's good. We talked about this last episode,

but I fucking really, I'm very cool. And he's kind of oddly muscular. But he's got like an o-in-a in the gray look, if you know what I mean. I see what you mean. I bet he has got a hog on him. Yeah, I think you can get Mark Rebier to show his dick on your mouth. Oh, he does have a hog on him.

Yeah. How the fuck did these guys all have big dicks? Like if you look at like the way culture should go, us, meet heads, be- We should have big dicks. And we don't. Yeah. the way culture should go us, meatheads, be- Aaaaaaah! We should have been- We should have really big decks and we don't. Yeah.

Mark Rebier has got a hog on him. I guarantee it. It's crazy that we- What are you googling? Let's see. Tom Sugura. Oh yeah, because people were pointing out mine, kept talking about my dick.

Where? From this video, like this promo. Oh wait, play it, let me see it. You can hear it, yeah, you can do full. This is, I watch this, but ain't, here you go. Like, go full screen though. YMHVershable.com is the place to go.

And what you do is an entirely live show experience. It's not like a pie pie. That is fucking hilarious. I guess I forgot that it was... You didn't have your short, short song. Yeah. So hold it up. I did that sometimes.

Yeah. Oh, just everybody was like, didn't know you had that hog on you. Ah. So it is. Anyways, this was fun. Love you. See you guys.

We'll talk to you soon. I love you too. Bye Here's one cave. No scripts to beat a booze amateur, Fatology, dirty jokes, Rancho Himmer, no apologies. Here's what we call, Two Bears One Cave.