2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 69 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

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One time I was talking to Rogan about we were like we were working out together in a hotel and he was like you know When I work out I think about that someone's trying to kill me and that's how I that's what I push up against and I was like what? and he goes yeah I just I imagine that someone's trying to kill me and that's as I push through the I'm like, how little we

have in common 100% ah ah what a week what what a week haven't seen you in a minute how you doing buddy. Oh it's so good to be here I feel like I've lost weight but it doesn't show. Yeah.

How those workouts going? Horrible. Horrible you look you were walking really you were limping I'm not walking very well at all soreness so I'm doing two days. I'm doing two a day I'm doing five and a half miles every day by the way two thousand miles is unattainable It's really is unattainable. I need is there a bet you have going or something with me? Okay, it's just with myself. I you know I tried to tell that to my daughters I was like are you gonna call an audible on your total? You're going? No, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna push forward. Michelle will have already told me you need to cut your stove 1500. You're not gonna do 2000. She's like already said like there's no way

you're getting into 2000. Does that make you want to do it? Oh, of course. I'm not gonna have a woman tell me physically, especially a red-headed woman, are you out of your fucking mind, Michelle Wolfe? This is it, no, this is a good one. No. It's a good angle. She, can I tell you, I had to, I, It's weird when you find out other comics are like good at other things.

Or it's weird when you play. Like when I learned that too, they're like, you know, Michelle Wolfe runs. And I was like, oh yeah, a lot of people are like, no, no, no, she really runs. Yeah, like no one wants a fat chick in the I get it. No, I sure Nikki everyone runs. Hey me shiver runs Michelle wolf's done like Fucking she did country run. She did rim to rim type in rim to rim sounds a lot dirtier than it is She did rim to rim no one was she did rim to rim hold on.'s just call Michelle Wolfen have her us tell her what what rim to rim is

So Michelle wolf and I I texted her when I ran a thousand miles How many miles did you run this year she goes? That's an interesting question right back 1500 dot dot dot and then the next day just upset by another 10 miles And I'm like whoa she's like hey thousand miles Legit accomplishment and I was, yeah, it was. And then I looked at my numbers to the year and I was like, there were months where I had like seven miles. Like months where I was partying balls.

I was like, I bet if I really focused, I could get the 2000 miles. And she just writes back, what's the challenge this year? And I was like, bitch, you know my fucking voice. You know how I think so much. What's your hashtag? Wolf to. Wolf machine. Wolf machine. It got your hashtag wolf to? Wolf machine wolf. Everyone's stop.

It got flagged because these fucking assholes started just putting burnt fucks wolves all over it. So if I could catch a wolf, I'd fuck it. Okay Michelle Wolf, let's fucking, someone doesn't have an iPhone. Okay, do we FaceTime her? Go for it. FaceTime's like a legit handout.

Like, when you FaceTime someone, that's like, yo, I'm here. Yeah, that's like kicking someone's window open, man. FaceTime. FaceTime is, then they know, hey, we're, we're being serious about this. Oh yeah, this is a real friendship now. Yeah.

I wonder if she's, she's gonna answer it because I'm too close. It's a pretty aggressive move, especially someone like I probably met Michelle once by text with her. So it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Especially there's a lot of things you could be doing that you're like, Hey, man, yeah, you should text me first before you do.

Unavailable. I don't want to fucking FaceTime this guy. Can you just text like everybody else? She's texting me, you doing alright. On a podcast with Tom talking about our mileage FaceTime me if you can. Talking about our mileage face time if you can Probably with Dave shepelle in his compound. Yeah, she's in she's in Austin She's in Austin. Oh, sure she is. She's got the fuck. Do you want to talk about like you want to talk about best quarantines ever? Yeah, Michelle Wolf spent the entire quarantine in yellow springs with Dave Shepelle doing shows and I'm getting tested nonstop running outdoors and and doing shows's doing shows at the same time. He's getting tested non-stop, running outdoors, and doing shows. And doing shows non-fucking stop. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

She'll have one of the best specials. You know that already, if I'm an Netflix exec, I'm like, let's buy that special right now. Yeah. Let's buy her, Moammer, Donnell. They're the only ones doing stand up. And so, all right, so Michelle, I got Michelle a textor said, doing a FaceTime with Tom,

time of our mileage. Now, so I'm doing two days.urist doing a face time with Tom time of our mileage now So I'm doing two days In order to get you run your five I ran Ran five this morning run five I didn't run my five and a half so what I do Is my my brain works is if I don't run the five and a half I'm forced to go on the treadmill at the end of the day Very very end of the day. Yeah, and then if I get on the treadmill at the end of the day I'll put into a half. I'll just get I'm just to a I'm just into it a half. So then I'll get above my mileage. So I always fall short, four miles, three miles,

and then whatever. Now I'm doing two days, so I started working with a trainer. A legit trainer. And the first, how did you get the trainer? How did you find, how did you pick a trainer? Movies. What do you mean? Movie production.

The production picture? Movie production, let's just leave it bland. Movie production. Like, she's just leave it bland. Movie production. Like she's a movie, she is the person, a production hires to get someone to lose weight. I can't tell you all the business. She's a good one. Okay, but so she's referred to you.

Yes. And she's friends with tape flutter. Really good friends with tape flutter. She's one of the, by the way. Wait, is she the one that came over? What? Is she the one that was with tape when they came, when I was, yeah. Wait, were you there?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you met her. Yeah, you met her. She was in the passenger seat. Yep, yep, yep. So, first day, I mean, like, I'm sitting there going, like, I run five enough miles a day. I'm pretty good shape. I am hungover the first time.

She had me just do this, like, just go, like, raise my arms 13 times. Yeah. Oh, I do that in physical therapy. Fucking my back's on fire. And I'm like, yeah. She's like, now out to the side. I'm like, and then she has me do sit shit where I just go.

That's stupid. No one does. Like why would I do that? Like just like, standing in like a plank and then grabbing the weight and pulling it to one side, then switching it and doing that, like fucking 70 times. I did lunges for five minutes straight. That's why you're walking funny. Yeah.

And I'm just like, my body is fucked. Yeah. So then I do runs in the morning, trainer in the afternoon, then runs at night. How many days a week? I do trainer four days a week, and I run every day. I have to run after, I have to run five and a half miles every day,

every day of the week to make fucking... When you, if you go do, you thing, or whatever, like you're not gonna be able to keep that pace up. I don't know, I don't know. So here's my goal. Here's my goal. Here's my goal. My goal is, if I can drop a little bit of weight,

like just a little bit. How much is a little bit? Fucking right now, 10 pounds would be astronomical. And then my body will feel better running and running will be a lot easier. Like I noticed that running from the even just the beginning of the year, when I finish a thousand miles to where I am today,

I can run so much better, speaking of which, you are moving better. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're moving. I know. How fucking crazy is that? How long is this, how long is this injury now? December 1st.

December 1st. So we're looking at nine weeks, nine ten weeks. Nine weeks. Yeah. Did you ever think it was the net you're never going get to the place where you can like walk where you are No, it's it's very like there's a lot of different thoughts like at first, you know Even after surgery they go they point to the arm. They're like fine. Gonna be fine The nerves in your arm and your hand will come back. It'll take a long time. I'm like, okay, and then they go

The real thing is gonna be that knee. And I'm like, what? Like I wasn't even thinking, what do you mean? Like you fixed it. And they're like, you're gonna have to learn to walk again. You have muscle atrophy and you're quad. You have the muscle atrophy is almost gone, right? No, no.

It stopped atrophy because I'm using it. Yeah, yeah, okay. To build it back up. Could you see it when you, you can see it right now. For real? I'll show you after. Really? You can see that the right leg is full. Do. it when you can see it right now for real? I'll show you after really you can see that the right leg is full Do and like you can see it like you both your thighs and get a big dick

It's it's freaky to look at I bet paraplegic dudes have the biggest hogs. I don't know about that type in paraplegic dick. It's gotta be a porn There's gotta be a porn paraplegic. I don't know about that. I can call a paraplegic. Paris is just two, right? Yeah. I'm gonna paraplegic. Okay. What's that second one there? That's, oh, that's a paraplegic girl who got waxed. Okay, that's a 17-second clip. Yeah. Wait, go to paraplegic girl who got waxed. Okay, that's a 17-second clip. Um, yeah. Wait, go to paraplegic girl this way. I can't do something I want to see.

I guess. That's not, your girl's not paraplegic. She's just not moving. Oh, that... Wait, it's not really a bit. I mean, she's not fighting back. She doesn't feel anything. No, you feel your vagina, right?

No. Not if you're a real true paraplegic. Can you not feel your deck if you're paraplegic? I don't mean, if you're a true paraplegic, right? Like, you don't have feeling below your waist, then we'll see what you think. To be called an expert, who do we know? I know, guy.

Yeah, yeah. OK. All right. I don't see what you do call an expert who we know that I know guy. Yeah, yeah, okay I We ask him if he feels as dick Is that bad? I don't know how how well do you know the guy pretty good? Okay? Give him a call Ask him how his dick is this a bad phone call to make someone just say you'll just phrase it Hey, don't be like hey, man. We're doing this thing. How do you feel? Just be like hey, we have questions about

Sex with you know, can we ask you? Oh, but that's maybe that's should not say his name then like like how do you know the guy? I know okay a party with him. I got him so drunk. He fell out of his wheelchair one time Okay, I'll tell you like and I got him paralyzed No, I say definitely a party with him. I got him so drunk he fell out of his wheelchair do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it.

I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're gonna be able to do it. I'm not sure if you some questions we wanted to ask you. Is it cool if we ask them? Ask whatever you want. Oh, that's what I love. Okay.

So Tom has atrophy in his left leg, and he's been noticing that his dick looks bigger. Is that like a, does your dick look bigger when you're, when you're, when you're paraplegic? Why? Because your leg's smaller, so it makes your dick just that much bigger. Yeah. That thinks, yeah, you know, my small anyway,

so I don't talk to him. I mean, Jesus Christ, so it's, same, same, bro. I think you're the small. Same, same. It's being small, don't change anything. Tom said same, same. I know, fucking funny, isn't it?

Hey, wait, so, so then, so then, do you, does your dick get hard can you have sex? Yeah my wife's pregnant as we speak. Hey congratulations. Fuck yeah. Oh wait congratulations. Mark's you're paying. Thank you. You know you know Mark you ever see the documentary murder ball? Yeah that's him. Oh here hang on Tom let's talk to you. How you doing bud? I'm good to yourself. Doing well. Thank you. I have a question though because we were talking. This is all prompted by Bert's perversions, but so I saw a clip of a woman who was

paralyzed and she in this interview it was it was like a very I think it's on TikTok and she has a whole, she has a whole feed about it. She was in an accident a few years ago. And in this video, she said, I get asked this, she goes, no, I don't feel penetration or intercourse because I have no feeling.

And so it led to the question about, well, maybe that's the level of paralysis she has as opposed to, you know, I mean like that some people can feel and some can't. Does that make sense or no? Yeah, of course. Okay. You know, like my, so I broke my neck and I can feel everything. So it's good and bad. You know, I have my legs fucking suck because they don't really work so well, but they you feel everything. Yeah, actually. Okay. Yeah, no, depending upon where the person breaks their neck and how bad they do or back, if it's severed, if it's severed, then you're usually going to get not, you're not going to the

feeling or the mobility from the start. Right. Right, right. So if you, so they're like there's paralyzed males who don't feel below the way like don't feel anything sexual like sexual organs, right? Okay, so it's just it's basically you do feel these things because of the type of injury allows you to still feel it. Yeah, that's exactly it. Okay. Got you. Okay. Thanks for answering that, man. Dude, anytime. Hey, uh, fuck yeah. Thank you very much. I love fucking love you. All right. Uh, we'll, we'll, I'll give you a call later. Okay. Yeah. We'll be thinking about your dick with more questions later. Yeah. If we have any more questions, we'll call you. Please do. All right, brother.

I'll tell you later. Bye. That's a great fucking doc. Murder ball? Murder balls, fucking pull up, Zupan. Which reminds me, I just saw two things that are phenomenal. It is. Go scroll down. Hey, by the way.

Yeah, Mark Zupan is having that cute up with no to die. I mean, that's proof right there why we got rid of him. Fucking amazing. Good job. God damn, yeah, we didn't have to ask you. Zupan lives, I see him every time I'm in Texas, I'm not gonna tell you where he lives, but I've seen him every time in Texas,

and I had written a joke about him. Oh, Houston. No, no, actually not. I was trying to walk you in. Yeah, yeah. I wrote a joke about him, and I didn't, like, it was on accident, I didn't know what I'd ever meet him.

And then he was at one of my shows, and I was like, dude, I wrote a joke about you a long time ago. You remember the joke? Do I? Yeah, I'm certain you do. I watched the trailer for Murder Ball in a theater. It was, they play the trailer,

and or with a lot of people, I don't know where to remember where it was. And sometimes I miss here things and it makes me laugh. And Mark Zupan got paralyzed because he fell asleep in the back of a truck. a lot of people, I don't know where to remember where it was. And sometimes I miss here things and it makes me laugh. And Mark Zupan got paralyzed because he fell asleep in the back of a truck. He got drunk, fell asleep in the back of the truck, flew out of the truck, and I tell you I got paralyzed. That's not a funny story.

When you hear that, that's kind of sad. I miss heard it and I thought he said I was paralyzed from the waist up. And I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of a guy. Just could walk around but could use the top of him. And I couldn't stop laughing and the fact that I was laughing at that inappropriate time made me laugh even harder and Leant's like, fucking stop, it's not nothing about this as funny.

And I couldn't stop laughing and everyone thought I was an asshole. And when I told it to him on stage, we were wasted and he laughs so hard he fell out of his chair. He did? Yeah, he's the fucking best man. Yeah, that's a good thing. If you've never seen Murder Ball.

Murder Ball's a great fucking Doc Menner. Great Doc Men. Great fucking documentary. It really is really, really good. So then what, what do we start, oh, about what? Instead of just losing, I guess you'd have to lose weight. Just stop using your legs to your dick looks bigger. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, and about my getting around. I also do, I do PT three days a week. I do OT twice a week. And I work out five days a week. Let's talk, let's talk about this. Yeah. Hold on. Put a pen on where we were.

Okay. Let's go back for a second. Where are there moments in this injury? Where you thought, I may not know life like I did before. I think brief moments, like there's a whole thing, I mean, you go through so many emotions and the mental toll it takes on you at certain times. Like sometimes it's in the hospital,

sometimes in recovery. There's times now where I'll forget for a second that I'm still healing, and I just want to do something quickly. I did the other day, and I jam my leg down too hard, and I was like, aw, because you basically are feeling scar tissue ripping inside of your knee, and I was like, my eyes watered, and I was like, oh, and then that day, I just basically had to ice my, I couldn't really use it anymore.

I just fucked it up for the day, but I mean there's Do you like how bad I would have been? If that had been me Like I don't have that I don't think I have that Like go get a magnitude where I would have fucking wallowed Hmm in misery certain I would have had a very hard time getting off pills Yeah, the pills thing you got to to get off of it pretty quickly. I mean, as soon as, you know, what did it for me that wasn't even the pills, it was the

constipation that they caused. Because I was, by the time I took my third shit with, like, where I had to have help, and I was like, so miserable with it, that next day when they were like, here's your oxy, I was like, I don't want it. And they're like, miserable with it. That next day when they were like, here's your oxy, I was like, I don't want it. And they're like, oh, are you not in pain? I was like, I don't care. I don't want to do the constipation again. Oh, for real?

Cause I wasn't shitting like three and four days at a time. I never cared about that. I just found the video. I guess so upset about that. One of my favorite things on the new iPhone is when you go to this and it goes one year ago today. Yeah, yeah. And you find pictures that like a year ago today, I must have been watching a sunset somewhere. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, fuck, where was that?

You try to remember it. Well, one of the pictures I found, it was a video that I, I don't know how it got on my phone. I don't know where I did it. But I did it in North Carolina. And it was right after I the day I fell off the waterfall. Yeah. It was that night and I was loaded up. I had been drinking and I was on an oxys and all of the pills like the fucking delotted. Yeah. I was taking four milligrams of volume.

That's a lot. Type what a prescription of volume should be. I was taking four milligrams of volume and I just wasn't thinking and I was drinking and I was in so much pain such a great combo though and I did a I did a video of me in a Confederate hat Like a Confederate civil war hat. I'm because we had done a We had done a civil war reenactment that day and I tried to get through it and I had a Civil War Confederate hat on and I'm doing a video talking about the injury and I was looking at myself going, I can't remember being that day.

I can't like, it's amazing when you're not hurt, you can't remember being hurt or when you're not heartbroken, you can't remember being heartbroken. That's one that's good, right? What? When you, when you're heartbroken, heartbroken, it's so miserable and you know't remember being heartbroken. That's one that's good, right? What? When you're heartbroken, you get heartbroken. It's so miserable. And I was talking about how, when you're, there is a point where somebody goes, they bring up the girl, they say, Sarah, and you go,

I remember that she broke my heart. But then you go, like, does it, you still feel the way and you're like, thank God, no. And you tell other people on. You tell other people one day, you'll miss my heart. But then you go, like, does it, you still feel the way and you're like, thank God, no. Like, it just, tell other people on it's job. You tell other people one day you'll miss the heartbreak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. That's true. But I mean, heartbreak feels, it's so, it feels like your soul's being ripped out of you, right? Like, it's the most devastating feeling. It's the same feeling. Did we find what, volume dosages, right? Like, it's the most devastating feeling. It's the same feeling. Did we find what volume dosages? What it's supposed to be?

Usual dosage, can you scroll in on that? Two to four milligrams. Okay, so four milligrams sounds right. Two to 10 milligrams, two to four times daily. Okay, two milligrams to 10 milligrams, two to four times daily. Okay, two milligrams to 10 milligrams, two to four times daily. I just think that that's management of disorders. Okay. Oh, symptomatic relief acute alcohol withdrawal. Wait, what's that one? 10 milligrams, three or four times during the

first 24 hours, reducing it, five milligrams as need. Okay, so it's the milligrams as needed. Wow, that's so funny. It's the same, it's the same, it's the same as working out. Since we're talking about working out a little bit, it's the same as working out because, so the day you work out, you're like, you're let, you get done,

the hard workout, your legs tremble, and your arms are trembling, and you're like, go to get in your car, and you kind of collapse into it. And then the next morning you wake let, you get done, the hard workout, your legs tremble and your arms are trembling, and you're like, go to get your car and you kind of collapse into it. And then the next morning you wake up, you go to take a piss and you can't sit on the toilet because your legs hurt. And then there's a moment where you're like,

I'm like fucking not moving at all. So is your training right now? Are you, is the, like usually with a trainer, there's like a goal, are you like I'm trying to, I'm trying to get so that I'm not completely obese. I know what I was trying to get at one point was fucking jacked, right? Because I think I thought it for the, for whatever thing. Weirdly, you do have a frame that I think if you do,

if you do the exercise and the diet intensely to a tee, I think you could actually pop. Seriously. I'm, I'm, I'm, but you got to do the diet. I'm, so right now I'm doing trifecta diets. I just do their meal plan. Mm-hmm.

I do three trifectas a day. God, you'll be insufferable. That would be so exhausting to be around. Dude, I already, I already see a difference, like right here. Uh-huh. Just from doing like, it's interesting. How long? A couple months of this, man. exhausting to be around. Dude, I already see a difference right here. Just from doing like, it's interesting. How many months of this man?

Coachable I am too, because I get... So the other day we're doing this round. It's been a sense, sounds so pussy, and I understand that. But it's 10 push ups, 10 push ups, 10 squats, 10 like reach ups, right? And then 10 dips. And so, and it's rounds of like three rounds. So it's like quick. My brain is such a meat head.

Whatever my wiring is, it's so bro, that I go, my brain goes, as soon as I get to five, I hear my brain going, come on bitch, you're out of it. And I'm like, who the, where have you been for a while? And it's such a fucking meathead. And then I can't help it. I wish myself to throw up almost every time.

You know, I mean, everybody has a different thing, right? I'll think of like coaches and let let have had in the past and like Different sports have played in and sometimes I'll try to get myself upset when I'm working out And I'll think of a time where I was slided and I got really upset or somebody disrespected me Oh, that's what I'm doing today and I and like it'll sometimes it'll fire me up I'm doing that today, but you know, you always have your own references One time I was talking about Rogan about, we were like, we were working out together in a hotel,

in a hotel gym, and we're going through whatever, doing different stations, and then, you know, it was towards the end of the workout. And I made some comment about how he was working out or something, or how he was pushing himself himself and he was like, you know, when I work out, I always, and he's like looking at me, you know, like, we're all sweaty and stuff. He goes, I, when I work out, I think about that someone's trying to kill me. And that's how I, that's what I push up against.

And I was like, what? And he goes, yeah, I just, I imagined that someone's trying to kill me. And that's as I push through the, you know, I'm like, how little we have in common. But it makes, when you see him, you're like, oh, that makes sense. He works out like someone's trying to kill him. You know, I, I, I don't like, I don't, whatever. I don't like, uh,'t, whatever. I don't like idolizing certain statements or things.

I don't, I don't want to put Joe shit out there like this. When, I'll just say very brand-blanly when Chappelle got COVID. Yeah. I texted Joe. I think you might have been on that text chain. Yeah. I'm not going to say what he said.

But what he said was such a mind frame on life. Yeah. That I have used that. That exact mind frame. Yeah. I have said, I want to be like that. Like, when I said, hey man, are you okay? I'm just checking to see Enoha Pell got COVID. Mm-hmm. His response was so...

So, of course, that's what it was. It was so him. It was so Joe. Less is the difference is that, you know, he's, like, we know the guy that has become like this huge influencer in so many fields. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking in psychedelics, in extraterrestrials,

in politics, social justice, all-mind entertainment, and in fitness, and in supplements. I mean, I'm taking what he takes every day. I feel sick to my stomach. His vitamin regimen is nauseating. And, bro, I tell you, he was like that 10 years ago. When I was doing the road with him him like 10 years ago, 10 plus years

ago, I mean, the same guy, he would have, he would travel like this bag was huge and open it and just fucking vitamins pour out of it like he and you know, always on top of his diet, his exercise, like he's never wavered from that. I have such a different mind. I literally got on the treadmill this morning, and I said, this is what my brain said. I hope someone's not trying to kill me. I'm gonna just pretend I'm running away from a murder. I thought, hope I teabode something good.

I hope I got something good on the DVR to jog too. Thank God Adam Richmond's got a new fucking show. So I fucking watch that motherfucker. And then I was like, I was like, I'm doing two workouts a day. Maybe I'll order Domino's and Pizza Hut. That's how you get jacked. And then I was like,

if I know that I get a treat at the end of the day, I get Domino's and Pizza Hut. And I get to taste test them with my daughters. I'm gonna get two pizzas, okay? First of all, okay, hold on a second. We're gonna get the deep dish Domino because that's the pizza hut. We're gonna get two pizzas, okay? First of all, hold on a second, we're gonna get the deep dish domino because that's the pizza hut. We're gonna get the thin crust pizza hut,

then we're gonna get the Brooklyn pie from dominoes and we're gonna get regular pie from dominoes. And we're all gonna take, and I'm like, the fuck's wrong with my brain? Like that's where my brain is. I think of Joe's text to me that day, that morning. I was, you know me with the exposure COVID, I get very fucked up. And I can the day that morning. I was, you know, me with the exposure of COVID, I get very fucked up.

Yeah. And I can sometimes I wake up and I go, do I have it, do I have it, do I have it? I mean, that anxiety just alone has been somewhat debilitating. I just got chills right now and I was like, either I'm getting COVID or that was a cool moment, you know? I want Joe's, I want Joe, I would love for Joe's voice to be in my head instead of mine. So he's got a huge podcast, you can listen to him all the time. I have, I gotta be honest with you. I would love for Joe's voice to be in my head instead of mine.

He's got a huge podcast. You can listen to him all the time. I have, I gotta be honest with you. I'm having a hard time with the whole Spotify thing. Really? Yeah. I like, you know, I'm obsessed with Joe's. But I couldn't get it.

I opened Spotify and I clicked it and it just brought me to podcasts. And then I clicked Joe's and then it took me to like Joe introducing his podcast. And then I just gave up. I was like, fuck. And then I said to Le and then it took me to like Joe introducing his podcast. And then I just gave up. I was like, fuck. And then I said to Leana, I was like, can I see Isla's phone? And then because Isla's got Spotify premium.

And I could pull it up. And I was like, can you get me on the family plan? It was so fucking angry that I got to just sit and focus and get it. Because he did podcast with, he's doing great podcasts. And I'm sitting there going like, it's just, I'm a creature of habit. So I get, I'll take a what podcast I'm obsessed with right now. What? Up, sassed with.

What? Revolutions. By Mike Duncan. Have you heard this? No, the apology one though. The apology podcast. That is the fucking shit. What's the apology?

Hold on. It's so good. Hold on. Write down Mike Duncan. Hold on. Right down Mike Duncan, uh, revolutions, because this has a lot to do with you. Okay. Now start me on the apology. Can you pull up an image of the apology line podcast? Oh, please say it's American's apology.

There it is. I was wondering that one. That one, the apology line. So this profiles in the 1980 started in 1980 in New York They put up flyers in the city where you could call and leave an apology to anybody and they would say don't give out any Personal information. We're gonna play it publicly and they would play people Apologizing for anything Like I stole this thing. I was, I left that person hanging.

I didn't call him back a murder. I murdered this guy. No. Yes. And it just how it kind of unravels. It's really, really captivating. Fantastic. I want to switch though, because I got distracted.

I got distracted. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait of something else first. Okay, the apology line download, it's fantastic. Let me, hang on, let me just get it and down, I'm gonna forget. Okay, apology line, I'm gonna go down. The apology, I'm gonna go down. This is the thing that I didn't wanna forget to tell you. The two things that I've seen recently that are subscribed, tremendous.

I mean, really, really good. One is on Hulu called In and of itself. Have you seen that? I thought you watched this. So funny when you said right down In and of itself, I was like, yeah, I don't know what that means either. In and of itself. I don't know what it's basically. In and of itself means. I don't know what it, like me, I mean, when you say In and of itself, I don't know what you're saying. Well, it's a... No, no, no, no. I meant when someone goes In and of itself in a sentence. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Okay. What does that mean?

In and of itself. What does that mean in and of itself? That we are discussing this one sentence. You use it in a sentence. Use it in a sentence. Pizza Hut in and of itself. Pizza Hut in and of itself is better than Domino's. Is that a sentence?

Yeah. And then what does that mean? That in his purest form, what you're saying is, saying is there you go. Oh, I got to pick my nose On its own by its very nature. Why wouldn't you say on its own? I Mean we have a whole vocabulary. We can always and shove a booger higher up your nose It's happy like yeah, oh great. Now. Yeah, wait I just pushed it up I just went up there and I'm like now's when I wish I had an infant finger,

like a baby finger to go out there. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine if Warren picture knows with those hands. Imagine if he was a dentist. He fucking just gagged y'all. You know how you're talking about how he touched his heart. Yeah.

He only touched my affected arm and leg only. During the game, watch that watch the the live we did. The two bears one sat, but he was like, I was like, and then when we were out, we were at that barbecue. He was like, ah, and he would lay on my left knee. And I was like, oh, do I tell him it hurts? I love that he was mocking me for being in a tornado. Oh, yeah. He was like, you were in the tornado. I was like, he's in the field. Yeah. No, all right. In and of itself.

Let me tell you about this real quick. Pull up the image on the screen of it. So this guy, Derek, you have the image? There we go. This guy has no nose. Delgado. I use a thing, I don't even want to, I don't want to sell you on it too hard, I don't want to get, because it's so spectacular. Is it a podcast? No, this is a one-man show.

It's on Hulu. Oh, it's on Hulu, I was like, I'm not going to fucking, I'm not going to Hollywood. No, no, no, it's on Hulu. It's a one-man show that is, it's all about, I would say, the premise is identity

and how basically we are complicated layer beings. I'll say this, it's a work of art, the show. Yeah. Yeah, it's a masterpiece. I would call it a masterpiece. Frank Oz, I think directed it. And you don't want to tell me too much. I don't want to tell you too much because-

Tell me something about, if you tell me something about Derek Delgado, do I know then know what this is? Here's the thing, I don't even wanna, like, I don't feel like telling you that it's such a special show that giving things away does a disservice to the show. It does a disservice to the show. I'll tell you more about the other thing I've been watching because I feel like that makes more sense.

In this type of show, it's best to just go watch it. Okay, hold on. I'm gonna text it till the end. Okay. And what could I watch it with the end? Mm-hmm. In and of its self. On Hulu.

What's that mean? And then on Hulu. And you should mean? And then on Hulu. And you can also say, did you know that in and of itself also means by its very nature? I'll tell you what we watched. So you're not going to like it because it's like teen girl stuff. We just watched the wilds. And it's like, is that horrible having to watch teen girls stuff out? No, you know what you do?

You end up finding a way to connect with your daughters and getting into shit like that. We were like, oh, cool. We just can't stay certain shit like, oh, I'd fuck that one. And then they'd be like, dad, she's 17. You're like, oh, never mind. I mean, I have a thing. I know, my kid's obviously super young.

And like, what I do is I, I just walk by when he's watching a show, my five year old, and I go, oh, this is my favorite show I just walk by when he's watching a show my five-year-old And I go, oh, this is my favorite show and he goes, it's my favorite show and he gets pissed That's that's really fun to do. All right. Here's the other thing that I've seen that is fucking I'm not talking about the revolutions because I have a lot I want to share with you keep going. Yeah, yeah Okay, and Adam Ritchman show I want to talk. Okay, keep going. Yeah. Yeah You got to watch Keep going. Yeah, yeah, okay. And Adam Ritzman, show me, I wanna talk, okay, keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta watch zero, zero, zero. Okay.

On Amazon Prime. Oh, please tell me it's time travel. It's not. Ah. But this is an epic fucking show, man. What is it? Zero, zero, zero is based on an Italian series. Call it a settle, settle, settle.

I think so. And it's filmed. I mean, this has to have a hundred million dollar budget. You think there's a guy at the same time in Spain going, oh, I guess I'm not going to sell my new screenplay, Zoro, Zoro, Zoro. No. This is filmed in Calabria, Italy, Monterey, Mexico, New Orleans, Senegal, and Morocco. It's like a fucking mission impossible.

I'm going to hit pause right there. Do I have to read it? Three, two times yes. Subtitles. Not the whole series. Okay, okay, it's a series. It's a series. Okay, it's a series that follows.

It follows. It follows man. It's drug trade. It's international drug trade. Okay, I'm writing serenity. But it's not familiar. You don't feel like, oh, I'm watching one of these shows again. It's such a unique take, the writing, they use drug trade to drive story, not to be story.

So the story really is in the characters, and you get to know each of the groups really well, the Italian group, the Americans and the Mexicans. And each of them has unique characters and story that's phenomenal. The writing, the acting, and the action, like the set piece is the action in this thing, is like, it's fucking born identity. Pull up the actors and zero, zero, zero. Let's see what they look like. Yeah, they're from Gorgeous, Young Men, I'm in.

Okay, let's judge them based on the actors. Andrea Ryzen, bro. Hot. Dane Dahani. I've seen that guy before, right? Yeah, yeah. Giuseppe is a demandicle. I love Giuseppe. Harold Torres. He looks like a young Benicio del Toro. Oh, Gabriel Byrne.

Yes, he's a love Gabriel Byrne. He's in it. Fucking love Gabriel Byrne. Adriano, I like this earlier work. Diego Cantana. I like to monitor on, on Teraj. Yeah. Francesca, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna like this, because you know what this is?

What? You know what I love about something like this? What? And this is how American I am. I don't know any of these people. Yeah. But I bet they're also still actors in their countries. Good job.

You put that together real well. I bet they're good actors in their countries. Yes. And I'll come at it going, who's this guy? Who's not speaking English, but murdering it? So good. It's so, it's, it's incredible. It really is impressive, man.

It's impressive. Can I read the Wikipedia log line? Sure. Okay, zero zero zero Wikipedia. Wikipedia. We've already Wikipedia. Out rock sign, rock sign. Oh, go to the left.

Yeah, click that. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Make left, yeah, click that. Yeah. Okay. Make that bigger, let's see. Okay. Space on the book of the same name. There's a book. I could read this.

A study of the business around the drug cocaine covering its movement across continents. So basically, like the way that this thing starts, I'll tell you this part, I'm not giving, I'm not ruining it for you. Italian mafia, in Calabria, is buying massive amounts of cocaine from the cartel in Mexico. So how do you get a massive amount of cocaine from Mexico to Italy? Submarine.

A ship. And so the broker is the Americans are the ship brokers. So that's the connective tissue between the Mexicans and the Italians and basically some chaos ensues in this massive shipment of the cocaine from it. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I love hearing good shit.

This thing is, it's an impressive, impressive show, man. In fighting? Oh my god. I mean the drama it's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. Oh this is gonna be okay. I'm excited. Oh yeah there's huge there's some so huge sequences in Arabic. Yeah there's some French in there. It's really, really, I mean, yeah, there's a whole bunch of shit in Italian, Collabrian, Spanish, English, it's all over. It feels like you're in a born kind of, you know, world, like Jason Bornshit, you know. Dude, I'm in, I'm in, zero, zero, zero.

And you got, and I will, if you have daughters, if you have team daughters, I've been trying to find the budget of this. Because when you watch it, you're like, the budget has to be, it has to be a hundred million dollar show. Dude, every episode, you're like, what the fuck, how much did this cost to shoot? Which I don't know, I so appreciate as a consumer, you know? Oh, oh, oh, I always said, I've always said, you put a hundred thousand dollars into a movie,

you're getting my money immediately. 100,000? A million, a million, a million. You put a hundred million into a movie? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I appreciate it. I'm the fucking idiot in the movie theater going, whoa, whoa.

Well, I mean, I get it, I get it too, when you watch certain movies, you go, I get what was written on paper in the concept, and they don't have a budget, and they try to make it work, and sometimes you're like, they did what they could, and they still to make it work and sometimes you're like they did what they could and I and I they still make it right and sometimes you're like it just looks like shit. It looks shitty and cheap and whatever. And this I mean I think Jeff Bezos sold a brick to make this one. This is like it's it's really really good. You can't find the

budget. I just tried googling 0000 you know Amazon budget and sometimes they release budgets and they tell you that you know yeah you can look up certain shows and tell you what the project you're gonna oh I get I bet because it's a series the budget gets complicated. Well I mean it could be a release they they could if they wanted to but I I think they're that they're not saying it. I mean it might be because they're like we're spending 200 million. I cannot wait. Yeah. I cannot wait to see this show. I cannot, I love finding good shit. I love you, know what I love?

I love when I go, hey wait, I never knew about it. It's so cool to not know about something and then find it and be like, and then go like, I got a whole bunch of new shit. Yeah. Yeah. What are you laughing about in there? You.

Fucking. So wait, what's the, what's Mike Duncan really? Oh, okay, okay, this is what, so, so you know I was obsessed with like Winston Churchill for a period of time and then I was obsessed with history, history, history. So like I'm, I got totally into World War, is that what it looks like? Interesting. I got really obsessed with World War I, World War, is that what it looks like? Interesting. I got really obsessed with World War I, World War II. The idea that I didn't really know

how Europe was structured before World War I, was mind-blowing to me that I didn't know that there weren't all these countries. Then it was just a big chunk here, a big chunk here, a big chunk there. And like certain things where I was like, fuck man, why didn't I, not why didn't I know about it?

Like why didn't I care? Like I didn't even, it never even got on my radar that I gave a fuck about Europe, right? Mm-hmm. And then I started listening to this and I was like, well shit, that's how they got, that is why the cause of Germany going back to

War and War and War and War 2 was that they had all these places that had been taken from them, but Germans still lived there. There were people, German people that was taken away from them, and that's why they went back going for these kind of ones. Once they started, they're like, well, fuck it. Let's take over everything, make everything Germany. And then when Russia, at the end of World War II, Russia was like, fuck you now this is ours, and now this is all communist. And like all that shit just blew me away. And then I'm sitting there, and I go, I don't know a lot about Europe, and I go, I literally said, so how the fuck did they make South America?

And I was like, I have an idea that like some Spaniards rolled in and gave everyone the flu and then the Inca's poured gold down their throats. That's what I know about South America. So I was like, all right, I bet there was some cool, and I just did this podcast with Daniel Bollelli, who was on Rogan, I had him on my podcast, just talking about history, and he was like, yeah, you gotta check out my Dunkin's revolutions.

I was like, what's everything? He's like, it's just about revolutions. And I was like, so what we're going through in our country with what happened at the Capitol and stuff, I was kind of, I'd never seen something like that happen in our country with all the uprisings that's been going on, all these ideas of different revolutions I was like wait and I got really blown away at the idea that Stalin and Lenin were basically

Honestly the same guys that storm the capital they really were anyone who starts a revolution is Starts off as like fuck this and then I couldn't help but notice that I was because I didn't And I couldn't help but notice that I was, because I didn't stand with those guys that raised the cap, that I was ultimately all these monarchies that was like, fuck you. It should be, like, it was like, I wasn't a part of the revolution. But all we know about these revolutions that win.

So I was like, and then they're like, you gotta hear about all the revolutions in South America. And I was like, there were revolutions, and then they're like, and then someone're like, you gotta hear about all the revolutions in South America. And I was like, there were revolutions. And then they're like, and then someone's like, yeah, it was all Spanish owned. Yeah. The Spain had all of it. And dude, I know that I'm fucking this up when I tell it. But the forward thinking that happened during those revolutions was so against everything

that was going on in America. It's the cause of our civil war, the predominantly the abolishment of slavery. Like it was this guy, Simone Bolivar was a bad motherfucker, a typist boneball of art. He goes through and basically Tom wins every fucking war, the mother fucker touches. And I'm just, you heard about this on revolutions? On revolutions, dude, this guy Mike Duncan knows how to do a fucking podcast.

What he does is he does 30 minute chunks and just breaks everything down and then he gives you these little seeds. He's like, don't let me get started on Gregor McGregor. He's a different story. He's a different podcast, all this stuff. Then I'm typing Gregor McGregor. Gregor McGregor was this Scottishman

who basically sold everyone on the fact that he had discovered in Ireland and he wanted them to invest in the island. There's no fucking island. It's a fucking, and then this motherfucker, and by the way now I'm sitting there going how do I I never heard of this guy right and then and then this guy goes out he's basically like a Ponzi scheme fucking captain he's bigger than Bernie made off ever was he gets kicked out of everywhere because everyone's like

fuck this guy he does it over and over again then he goes back Simone Bill of Ardyes he goes back and everyone's like oh oh shit, it's Gregor McGregor. He's in a brand new territory, no social media. Everyone forgot he got canceled. And he's like, you're a badass motherfucker. We need to give you money, give some money, live some money, it's life like a fucking millionaire. It is, I get so fucking fascinated by this shit.

Where I'm literally listening to them. You know, can I tell you what, this is why I wanted to talk to you about it. Oh, Peru, right? Yeah. So do you know why Peru's such a badass fucking place? Why? Because in order to conquer Peru,

you gotta get up to their level. Yeah, you mean in the Andes? In the Andes. So if you're the Peruvian army and you're up, what type in the altitude? Alima Lima's probably not that high, but no, that's like sea level. Yeah, type in the out so like the couscous is up in the Mousco so so

do out to do altitude of couscous CUS ZCU ZCO is that these guys would go up to so oh, you S sorry 11,000 11,000 so you know So what they do is these what is that that's two miles? Oh, yeah, that's undueable That's undoable. So what would happen was These people La Paz is 11 12 almost 12,000 yeah, but then we're but like switching countries. I don't even know We're liposos believe yeah, oh believe you say I was by the way that I think that was all Peru back then than we're, but like switching countries. I don't even know where La Paz is. Belivia. Belivia. St.

I was, by the way, that I think that was all Peru back then. Oh, okay. Or it was called a like Granada, love river or something. Anyway, what would happen is they'd be like, come on, let's go get them. Like these fucking armies will like, let's go get them. And they'd be like, sure, sure, come on up here.

And then they'd all fucking die from altitude sickness. But you know though that when Pizzaro and the Spaniards went to, by the way, no, I don't tell me everything. Francisco Pizzaro. Don't know him. The Spanish. Yo no say. That was pretty good. Spanish conquistador. He arrived with like 80 men and they went and defeated like 60,000 Incans. Now he was a sadistic, I mean, completely psychopathic, violent evil son of a bitch. Oh man, they would like, he and his, you know, other specs, they would, they would go up and just chop arms off of,

like, Incans for fun. And just for just to have a good time, just torture, dismember, they got, they told, what was his name? Is it Atawalpa? The, the, the, So how do you know about this because you're most proven?

Yeah, I mean, you just hear about it a lot, you know? I've never heard about it ever. Well, I mean, yeah, that's probably why I heard about it more. But I remember there's a story, I mean, they'll tell you this historically that he and his men, you know, they went and they were like initially like welcomed by the Incans and there's like 80 of them

and there's tens of thousands of Incans. And so Pizarro was like, you know, they find out they have gold and everything, right? So much. So he and his men are like, we want a roomful, like this high and this high, in order to give you back your king. I think they took Attawala,

but I think that was his name. And they provided, they did it. They gave them like a roomful, like Florida ceiling, gold. And then they tortured them. They put them into a bat of oil and just drown them in it. King? Yeah, they were super, super.

Oh, there's some books I can't read. There's some things I can't read because it's so sad. Oh yeah. And then they got sick, of read because it's so sad. Oh yeah. And then they got sick, of course, that they brought disease, which wiped out. And they also had swords and like Bayonets and shit. And these guys were like, you know, they didn't have anything like that.

Do you wanna know what I want? Bad ass fucking prove, I say Peruvian, I think because he's Peruvian. So, so, Simone Boulevard is asked by Columbia, by the way, he ruled almost all of South America at all point. He is asked by Columbia to take a step down,

just be like the dictator of Peru for a while, and let this other guy, I think his name is Sarah, be the soldier, be like his guy. This guy was so committed to Boulevard and they go, listen, you gotta go up and kick ass so the Spaniards are up there and then he's like, okay, and he was running, he was running, he had, didn't have as many soldiers

and then they were like, fuck it. He's like, let's go punch him in the dick and the guy's like, you want a punch him in the dick and one of his soldiers go, yeah, fucking, watch this. Goes up, fucking shoots his horse in the head, and goes, I'm not going anywhere. And they're all like, let's kill our fucking horses. And then they just fucking destroyed an army.

Do you know that fucking mentality when you go? Oh, these guys are real sad. I don't even certain they had guns. Look up, look up, like Pizarro's thing, go to his Wikipedia, because it might have, it might have the detail I'm looking for here. Yeah, hit that. And that's amazing that that guy did so much. Yeah, scroll down and I've never even heard of him.

Scroll down to, yeah. Is there the part about, yeah, 3.4 there, 1532. Yeah, and who is the God? I want to make sure I can't believe, yeah. Right, showing this feet of his brother, Rathawalpa had been resting, and it might give you the detail here. Okay, had a force of just 110 soldiers, 67 cavalry, right?

He sent Rathawalpa and his camp, agreed to meet Pizarro the next day after the... Let's see. His complacency because fewer than 200 remain as opposed to his 50,000 man army. Keep scrolling for me. How do they be? 50,000 men with... I'm telling you, men, it's insane. Okay, see? Despite fulfilling his promise of filling a room, 22 by 17 feet with gold and silver, he was convicted of 12 charges that they just drew up, you know. Yeah.

And man, they just, they savagely, they savagely decimated those people. Can I, the amount of backstabbing that happened back is that I thought that was a picture the amount of oh My god there are that's an actual Execution I don't see that. I'm good. Um the amount of torture Joe recommended a book one time or maybe someone else did I can actually tell you what the book is cuz I fucking have it on my All audio books. Yeah, this is the most, oh my buddy, man's right in the picture.

I went to the torture museum in Lima once. Oh, for real? Oh my God. Yeah. Trying to see if they have any more details about that, but I don't see any more. The book, you ready? Mm-hmm.

Oh, this was the most disturbing book. It's called The Conquerors. How Portugal foraged the first global economy or empire. So this book is so horrible. It's so horrible that about the level of It's like so I listen to audiobooks to fall asleep. You do? Yeah, it reminds me of being a school. It's like I can fall asleep I don't understand anybody can do that by the way. I love it And no Christina is the same way. She's like put on something like watch something and it goes to sleep Exactly. You had TV on when I'm trying to sleep. I'd be like turn the fucking TV off man. I can't sleep Oh, yeah, you're like sleep. I'd be like, turn the fucking TV off, man. I can't sleep.

Yeah, you're like, Liam. I like to be distracted. Dude, if you had one of my hardest I've ever slept is what we were doing, construction in the house, and you'd hear Ranchero music, and the Mexican dudes doing the construction, talking back and forth to each other, for whatever reason, because I'm hearing it, but I'm not listening. I can't even know what they're saying. So I'm not getting interested in the conversation.

I just hear the... That adds up to me, because I also, people listen to music. I'm like, I just start listening to the song. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Oh, I can't listen to like, like I tried to listen to outside, outside the magazine as a podcast,

and they told this story of this dude. I don't, you're gonna have to find it. I'm never gonna be able to tell you this guy tells, I'm like, oh, this is good. I just found out they have a podcast. It's about this guy, this big wave surfer. We wrote the most seminal book about big wave surfing. And he tells the story of being, of surfing in Portugal.

And him and his buddy getting caught outside the waves that are way too big to ride, they're boards are too small. And he tells the story of him and his buddy How they barely survived and I was like I'm like fucking laying in bed going you know my hands are sweating I'm like freaking out. I'm like okay. This is not what you fall asleep to like the conquerors I used to put on the tour bus. I put on the tour bus one night, right? We we eat the CBB edible the high CBD edible Yeah, but little bit of a THC. Yeah, and I'm sitting there and they're like This Portuguese conqueror goes down the coast of Africa

Says to the king. I want your I want your daughter And I want you to bring around yourself. I'm gonna come and kill all your people and he's like, okay, okay I got it. I got it Comes out with his daughter and he's like cool. They all fuck his daughter And then they tie him up because he's Muslim They shove pig through pig raw pig down his throat shoving him with a fucking stick and then shit in his mouth And shoving him with a stick and they're like all right go home and they got went home And then they came back and they're like hey, we want your other daughter. He's like I'll be out there in a minute dude

I'm like fuck this I cannot live like like when you hear about the. That's why I couldn't listen to fucking this is on your audiobook I was like yeah, I'm like fucking in my bunk going. Yeah, they shit his mouth Yeah, the guys fucking mouth and shoved it down with a stick with pork and who's the guy? Fucking I some fucking Portuguese dude. I don't even know I couldn't listen I was like I can't listen to this fucking book. It's horrific. It's like the reason here's my question. He's had coronavirus, everybody. Here's my question. Yeah. I sometimes wonder, and this is a, like, I remember there's a brand new thought. I sometimes wonder some of these history books when you read them, they come off a little racist. Yeah, like you're like,

it's almost like back then people weren't like all about equality. Yeah, no, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, even when you read them, you read them and you're like, wow, sounds like the Indians had a common, you know? And then you're like, and then you're like, wait, this was written by an 80 year old white man in 1980 Maybe he was like like so you start like Joe recommended a book about Native Americans

Where I kept feeling like, hey, man, I'm losing my compassion from Native Americans in this book It makes them sound really bad. I'm like, I know that's not the real story But as I'm reading this, I'm like, wait, they just cut the girl's nose off? You're like, is this? What the fuck? Yeah, no, that is not. And so I wonder, I wonder if because it was written by who it's written, if it's skewed as like,

as like, yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, it's like, not the most, not, trying to think of the right analogy. It's like, it's like hip hop. Okay. There wasn't a ton of progressive hip hop when we were kids.

Okay. It was all like, fuck this bitch, fuck my dick. Bitches ain't hose, bitch shit. My friends can't have none, I don't want none. Like, cool shit. Yeah, yeah, I'm cool shit. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. Kill your whole crew.

Yeah. And then you go, well, of course, it was written by young affected inner city kids who, who that was the life they were living. And then as they get older, they're like, I wouldn't write that now, right? Right? Yes, sure.

Well, then you're looking at, take the opposite of that. History book, written by old white men. And they're like, old white men tend to have some similar viewpoints and they're like, yeah, the Indians were pretty bad guys. Like, Gustard had like a, you know, and so you start going like, what, have then how can you trust history books? Yeah, like, I just found out, you first of morning, yeah, that the Titans, Tennessee, that the Titans are like one of the oldest teams in the NFL The team the Titans the name the Titans right? It's one of the first like first fucking teams back when they they were before the NFL like all these names

Yeah, I don't understand so the Titans were at one point type in and a type in football Titans because they were once the oilers though, right? That's what we're talking about. No, no, no, no, no, no. No? So like, so like, but that's what that's what that's trying to tell you. Founded in 59, that's really.

The first team, their first team was the fifth, is in 59. But they weren't the Tennessee Titans. weren't the Tennessee Titans, they were something else. Or they, whatever Houston's team was. They might have been used to Titans. You're okay. Click that. Yeah. Yeah.

So, pleavously known as the Houston Oilers. But no, no, so that's not what I mean. That's not. There was an actual team called the Titans back in like the 30s. I got you. So a lot of the names we know as teams were like, it was actually a fucking amazing video I watched about the history of the teams that played professional football. And it was talking about the teams year by year that went away and showed up like the

Buccaneers who just won the Super Bowl. They were originally the Los Angeles Buccaneers. Type in the Los Angeles Buccaneers. And this was, I was like, blown away. I didn't know. And this is where I was like, shut up. I didn't know that the Browns went away for two years. Really? Like, fucking three years ago.

One more than that. Five years ago, 10 years ago. Yeah. Look at this. So the Los Angeles fucking ears weren't even based out of Los Angeles. They were based out of like Cincinnati, but they were, they were like, that's where they were.

And they were a team that went around. And then that was the team. So like all these old teams, I never- Did Los Angeles Buck and Ears become Tampa Bay? Or did they? No, so they just, it's like those were acceptable names that they could take. Okay.

Because they were like team. But did that evolve into something? No. I think they just, like the Bears, you know why they called the, Chicago Bears, the Bears? No. Because of the Cubs. Oh.

Yeah. No, I think they just like the bears. You know why they called the car the Chicago bears the bears now because of the cubs Oh, yeah, and there was it what's like branded yet because they were like we want to we want the fans of the cubs to become fans of the bears Oh, got you and some but bears were football players were bears. It should be tougher and bigger I feel like weren't they cardinals before that so First of all the the Arizona Cardinals are the oldest football team in professional football. But weren't they the Chicago Cardinals? Type in the Los Arizona Cardinals.

This is the oldest team in all of footballs, the Cardinals. Okay. Jesus. 1880, not 98. Hit that wiki. Let's see. Where was it founded? Established in Chicago.

See? Chicago Cardinals. Do you know the Browns were named after a guy? Who took shits? Big shits. That was the thing. The Browns. The Browns.

I was like sitting here going like, shot the Browns. Well, I remember having my mind blown when I was like I don't know 16 When I was told that the Lakers were from Minneapolis. Oh, it was like yeah And you're like yeah, and then they just move and you're like oh Because it doesn't make me trying to sell the name the senators forever. Did you know at one point? during the war There were so few men that they combined the Steelers and the Eagles to make the Steeagles No, do you think that's a true true or lie? It sounds like a birdism type in Steeagles. I can't remember if I heard this right dreamt it the

Steeagles The Steeagles you're right. Steeagles. I was right. I knew I was right holy shit the Steeagles That's Hell like dude. I'm like fucking sitting there going like dude. I watched I Watched a video what the best was Washington bullets used to be a squad and they're like it's too violent of a name and there's people are dying So they became the wizards, you know, but the bullets was that they were called the Washington bullets because there's so many shootings in DC.

There's a team they wanted to call them the tornadoes and one guy was like, um, I think we're in tornado alley and then I guess what I wanted to call the tornadoes is like, yeah, but when it kills 90 people, I don't think they're going be fans or wanna wear our jerseys when they've lost their family towards tornado. And they're like, fuck off. Someone tells the hurricanes that. Yeah. Dude, I am so fucking fascinated by that kind of,

like when you go, that's what it is about history is all the sudden you go. Well, there's a lot of, I thought I knew a lot of shit. What was the cane mantra that they kept saying, sap and Dave, like hit big, big, dicks, bus nuts. Big dicks, bus nuts, big dicks, bus nuts. Big, not big dicks. No, no, no.

Type in hurricanes. Rohan Marley. Was I saying his name wrong? Yeah, I think he was saying is Rohan. Rohan. Yeah A lot of people call me Bruce. I think we're good What is it big hits bust Dixx something like that? Just I know you're leaving her just We can call Dave real quick. Oh, yeah, he would definitely tell you bust Dixx just write bust Dixx. Yeah bust Dix

It's definitely he sits on shirts and everything. There aren't many matches for your search. Oh type in hurricanes. Yeah, Miami Hurricanes. Yeah, bust Dicks. Hit stick Bust Dicks. There you go. Hit stick Bust Dicks talk shit. Hey, YouTube, I want to see that. Yeah, hit dick Bust Dicks. We need a fucking saying like that. They say it in the video. They're gonna say it right here Yeah, what you look at the man besides you is he hard or you hard grab that new stick then you're hard talk shit wait eat to eat shit bus no not each night no Go back to it. Oh, is it hit? What is it hit stick bus shit? Bus dick talk shit is there anyway? We can get voiceover of what our fans think should be put in there

We do three things three things and then you just do voice over Eat shit talk shit Bust dick we're gonna eat shit. We're gonna suck dick. We don't bust nuts. Let's go on three We're gonna bust Yeah, oh fuck hold on hold on go back to our list go back to our list. He should bustics Wait, what was the Adam Richmond thing? What is that? I'm obsessed with this new show. It's the foods of Build America. Okay, dude Can't you know why do you know why pizza Hut's crust is the way it is? First of all do you like pizza? Yeah, okay? No, sorry what I like is Domino's thin crust. That's the shit that I'm talking about Brooklyn pie thin crust

I'm talking about when you're a kid and you go I'll have a Domino's thin crust whatever that is The thin it's like cardboard. It's not necessarily objectively good and it's not and it's just and it's not technically a pizza crust as we know pizza crust Right, it's a little crispier. Yeah, exactly. I like that. So that So I like that a lot. This is why I learned from his new show. Dan and Crunchy. It is, that is a different type of bread than a regular pizza bread.

Oh, for sure. And it was made for the Midwest. What was those, that was what? Dan crusty stuff. They made pizza. So pizza was unknown until like, fucking 1950. Like, no one had ever had pizza. In the States.

Like yeah, no, if they had some in New York, but it was like that. But I'm saying it was obviously a staple of probably Italy, right? When, type M, Taco Bell was formed, type right, been Taco Bell. Okay. Taco Bell was formed.

These two brothers, 1962, no one had heard of pizza. No one had heard of pizza. Here. In the United States Okay, these two dudes are like yo, we want to be like McDonald's. What can we do? They're like pizza right by the way I'm you should watch the show. I'm giving it a soft thing So they go in and they go to make pizza dough, but they don't I make it so they use French bread dough

Mm-hmm, and they make French bread lots of sauce, which is not this is Adam Ritzman describes a lot better I just call them have them in the private yeah, well, it's a second Adam Richmond describes this a lot better. I should just call him, have him describe it. Yeah, well, it's one second. Let me take a leak and we'll do it. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta see. All right, I texted Adam Richmond, but I, those texts, no one replies to a text.

What do you mean, FaceTime him? You're just gonna aggressively FaceTime him? Yeah, right. I think that's the best way to go about it. I think you have a good relationship with him. Yeah, definitely. I'm definitely cool. Let's see FaceTime out of Richmond.

And he'll explain Pizza Hut to us. Okay. He's one of the smartest dudes I fucking know, like legit across the board. There's some guys who know a little bit about a little bit and some of the guys that know a lot about a little bit. And then there's guys that know he knows a lot about a lot. Oh, okay.

And he can also do it. I wonder if he's probably working. By the way, this FaceTime is so close to my face right now. Yeah, it's a little scary. Right, he's not answering. Am I? I'm zero for zero on FaceTime's. It's a real aggressive move. Yeah.

I mean, I mean, the only people I was saying that I like will just face time, no, no, warrant, like some people you go cool to face time or you. I face time you. That's what I'm saying, but like we're really like, you know, we're really good. I face time, Joe. That's aggressive.

Yeah, I always just face time all the time. Does the answer? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes he doesn't. Yeah. I always just face time all the time. Does the answer? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes he doesn't. Yeah. I basically, basically, you're going like, Hey, man, what are you doing right now?

I want to see what you're doing right now. Yeah. Well, I didn't realize that's, it is pretty aggressive. It is. Michelle wrote me, she goes, I'm, I'm, I'm going to the airplane. Yeah. Is it fun? Yeah, she said, yeah, yeah.

Um, so let me explain, let me explain pizza hut to you then. Okay. This is not, this is me regurgitating what I witnessed on foods that build America on history channel. Yeah, Sunday nights at night. So they made, they used French bread because that's all they had and they figured, why would we do something that people in this area

aren't used to? So they make French bread, they put lots of sauce on it, lots of cheese and they make it for Midwestern people and Midwestern aren't used to. So they make French bread, they put lots of sauce on it, lots of cheese, and they make it for Midwestern people, and Midwestern people fucking love it. And this guy makes one store. One pizza hut, pizza hut. One pizza hut. You said it looked up Taco Bell.

Oh, did I really? Yeah, that's what we looked up. We looked up Taco Bell. This is why I'm not on foods in Build America. Wait, so why don't you pull up Pizza Hut for that same search? Because I was like, I don't know why we're looking at Taco Bell. They really say Taco Bell. Yeah.

This is why you should never hold anything against me. 1958, close, close. Okay. So, they make Pizza Hut and then the guy who makes one store time and then he start franchising it out after one store. One store, he starts franchising it out. These are the things that my takeaways. But isn't it interesting?

I just heard about a comparison between pizza hut and dominoes in modern and recent times here. That'd be interesting. That dominoes is performing much better. Well, Tom and pizza hut. I'd love to have this conversation with you. Dominoes has 19,000 locations around the world.ino's has 19,000 locations around the world. Pizza Hut has 17,000 locations around the world.

Google that and tell me I didn't just hit that out of the park. That's called information retention. Wow, you're really. I really enjoyed this show because I was obsessed with like going, yeah, because you know, we're on the tour bus one time and Andrew goes, yeah, 17,000 stores. Why was right? My cousin Andrew goes I actually prefer pizza over any pizza 18,700

But no, no, but you're very close the point though. I was making is that they have been on from what I understand Pizza had has been on more of a decline whereas dominoes has been more on a Up swing. Oh, they've got to be taking it in the ass right now with with with whereas Domino's has been more on a upswing. Or they've got to be taking it in the ass right now with Domino's been pushing really hard, they're online, you know app stuff. And you know, I can't get on to, I'm old school.

I need to call a guy, tell him what I want. I can't just go on an app and go, I'll add this. Don't you kind of feel like a piece of shit having a Domino's app on your phone? Cause I remember I wanted one like two years ago and I had to do it that way. And then I like opening my phone

and seeing a domino's pizza app, I was like, no. I'm not gonna keep this on my phone. The biggest piece of shit app you have on your phone. I mean, it was that. I have a Papa Johns app. Yeah, now I was like, I don't want that fucking app on my phone. I've got, I've got all my airlines.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My radar comes in really handy, especially when you're doing outdoor event use. Your radar? My radar, it's an app where you can track storms. Oh. Cause we would have to shut down shows, cause the lightning uncrates a great fucking app.

Calm, I use that. I have a bunch of ski slowpaps from when we used to ski no one leafly from marijuana Sneakers, yeah, I got that I got a Few headset apps. What the fuck is clubhouse? Why is everyone talking about clubhouse? I think I got invited by a rapper. Yeah, I got invited But what is it? I think you can listen to people's conversations. Like who are you trying to, it says drop in on audio. What does that even mean?

What is this? I don't know. Somebody explain this to me. I know who can explain it. Who? Tim Dillon. Let's FaceTime him. You ready?

Okay. See the CFPIN Tim Dillon answers a FaceTime. He uses it. He invited me. Tim Dillon, new number. Yeah. Okay, here we go. See if Tim Dillon answers a FaceTime.

See who my real friends are. Yeah. This is such an aggressive. I can't believe people don't answer FaceTime's the way I do. All right, hold on. Why do I read a club's and virtual rooms conversation on diverse topics? Networking day and program.

Some examples of clubhouse Our startup club fit black wealth matters leadership reinvented. There's no one answer my fake it fucking face times not today Muslims and friends the legacy. I mean, I just don't know so you're dropping in and just listening to a conversation Yeah, I want it. I wouldn't mind dropping it on face times Yeah, so face time is a really aggressive move, huh? Yeah, well, why would they put it on thereTime's. So FaceTime is a really aggressive move, huh? Yeah. Well, why would they put it on there if you can't use it? You can.

You can. No one answers a fucking FaceTime? Well, they're probably doing, like, it's a real thing. Like, think about how a text usually affects you, right? You're in the middle of something, pops up, and you're like, all right, I'll hit a bird after this thing. FaceTime is birds pounding on my door. Hey! That's. FaceTime is birds pounding on my door. Hey! Like, that's what FaceTime is.

Let's see, who, the most fan, you think Warren's the Abern answer FaceTime? Yeah, for sure he will. Now he would. I remember I FaceTime Snoop on the, I think when we're doing the live show. All right, no one wants to fucking FaceTime me. Anyway, I'll put that down, put that down.

Oh yeah, so anyway, my question is, favorite online pizza you're saying Domino's Think Cross. I mean, that's the one I had that I liked as a kid. Better than Papa John's. I like it more. So there was a period where Papa John's- You're a real pizza guy, I'm not really a pizza guy. You like, you have pizza every week.

Every Friday, okay. It's pizza night. Yeah. Every Friday's pizza night, and then I order enough so that every night's pizza night. I will, I have a hard time saying no to a errant piece of pizza. You know what I always remember that I wish I had spoken

off about? What? Remember when we did the weight loss contest? Yeah. So the day before, so we had two weigh-ins. We weighed in like back to back days. So that you couldn't just do like a cut and weigh-in. You had to be lower.

Right, so we just almost died doing it today. Yeah. So, so after the first podcast on the first day, we're gonna come back to the next morning to keep podcasting. And Joe goes, what do you guys want? And immediately you go pizza. Fuck yeah. And I just went, okay.

What did you want? Sweets. For real? Yeah. I wanted like donuts or like, you know what I mean? Like something. It's so funny. You brought up donuts so many.

Can I, I've said it's an adob one time, conversable. I remember saying it's an adob that he, when he said he ate ice cream and I was like who eats ice cream? Oh, yeah, that was hilarious and then I started eating ice cream and you're like ice cream is good It's so good, but it's not something I would treat myself to yeah, so I'm but I think it's the way my brain worked It's also your like you really I mean it makes sense to me that you really like pizza I'm gonna I'm gonna get probably three pizzas from three different places tonight, and I'm gonna sample them.

Any idea what you're gonna have you been to? Oh, didn't he yell at us, sap about not knowing that pizza that he liked? Craig's? Was it Craig's? Yeah, Craig. He was like, we went to Craig's and then he was like,

you guys fucking even live here? Oh yeah. We were like, yeah, I don't know what it is. Oh, dude, there's like, we went to Craig and then he was like, you guys fucking even live here? Oh yeah. We were like, yeah, I don't know what it is. Oh, there's a lot of pizzas. That looked like some good fucking pizza though. Well, the best pizza they say in LA is large-mont pizza. I mean, large-mont is pretty good. But how do you not know all the best pizza places?

You know what? Honestly, because my girls don't like designer pizza. They don't like good pizza. I had the best pizza I've ever had my entire life. Time entire life, entire fucking life. In Rome. We're going back to Rome again. Go to, I've been Rome a lot. I know.

Go to, go to Rome, best pizza in the world. I bet there's a lot of people that advertise that way. Type in to do this, do this. Let's go, let's go Rome, pizza, trip flip. So we had pizza with this guy, trip or trip flips, probably. Oh yeah, there you go, Rome. See if you can find the name of the pizza place. If it's in there. So we had this pizza. This guy, my fuck, this is the best pizza. This guy said, they go, he's make, he makes the world's best pizza.

He's won the pizza championships. I'm giving you all the information. I want you to find it, okay? Listen to the one I'm saying, and then you find it. He makes the best pizza in the world. He's won the world championship at pizza making. And he created a new pizza called, what's the kind of pasta you have where it's like bacon,

egg yolk and cheese. Don't know, but I mean, I've had it by another day. Carbonara. Okay. Type in Rome, pizza, carbonara, championship or something. Trip flip, whatever. Come on, guys. So, so he says, we're gonna start you start you so I get hammered the night before because I love pizza so much pizza carbonara

This guy Had created ice cubes That he put on the pizza put the pizza put the bacon on raw he put some Parmesan cheese a little bit of olive oil and then he put the an ice cube that he created And he put an egg yolk so that the ice cube didn't let the egg yolk cook So then the egg yolk would melt the perfect amount and when it melted he pulled out and he'd stir up the egg yolk And it was pizza carbonara and I Tom I made myself so sick. I mean I can hear it in your mouth It was one of the best, is the best thing I've ever put my mouth.

And just to be fair, he can make these pizzas, he can make these pizzas in like three minutes. He'd make a pizza in three minutes. It was so thin, it was so good. He loves it. He came in and he goes, he's like, yeah, what pizza you're like, huh? By the way, he was actually a pretty soft spoken guy.

Okay. It was a little overwise. Why not with us anymore? There's like a little, yeah, a little older. Not, and it was, is that what we're looking at? Is that the thing? I believe so. You tell me. Did you see Bert Kreischer attached to this at all?

No, but this is the world champion pizza carbonara in Rome. That's what we're looking at. That's it right there. Tom, these things were so thin. At dar poeta, is that the name? I'm guessing. Have you typed in dar poeta, Bert Kreischer,

and seen if you come up with anything so we can make sure that this is the guy? Hmm, no, I'm not the guy. Anyway, he would make him so quick, and he came in and and I was hungover and I didn't eat dinner that I before because I knew we were having pizza. Yeah, right? And they're like, you're not a lot of pizza, so save some space. So I get drunk as fucking I don't need to go to sleep hungry. I come in the next morning and he's behind the counter making himself a pizza with a glass of wine. I go, oh my god, if I was ever gonna fucking dude, it's right now. This guy's drinking wine at like eight in the morning and I, he goes, he goes,

be an old and I'm like fucking, claro. So I start drinking wine with him and we're not even shooting yet and he goes, you know, little something, you know, little something. And I said, well, yeah, I don't want to spoil it though. And he goes, no, just a cheese. I go, yeah. And he makes me just a cheese. And then he takes it and he folds it in four for me. And he goes, here, like is a fucking sandwich. And I go, oh, I burn the roof of my mouth.

And I go, fuck that skin. That's gonna be gone. We're eating fucking fast, hot and furious today. Oh, you must've gotten so sick. I, that's the place. What's the place? That's the fucking guy. Tom, these were the greatest pizzas I've ever had in my life and Tom, I'm drunk at the

end of the night and I tell him I'm gonna invest $100,000 to move you to Los Angeles so that we can do this in person. And he goes, it's the oven, it's the oven, the oven's so good. No take the oven over there, no, and I went, listen, I'll build you a brand new oven. I go, we set up on Sunset Strip and you, they pop them out. Do you have the name of this? What's the name? Tonda.

Tonda, tonda. If you go to Rome, pizza tonda. There you go. Pizza tonda, this fucking got me. He's going to be a conteno. Whoa. Pizza tonda. How many ratings did he have on that? Go back, you're okay. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there.

Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there.

Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people who are going to be there. Yeah, there's a lot of people left. I wanna be on. Yeah, hit one of those so we can see. There's gotta be images from... I'll be creative, he's like, he's not making pizza. What's he making? If you can type in, there's gotta be something on YouTube. Pizza Tonda. Type in, go to YouTube. Type in pizza Tonda in YouTube. Okay.

And then carbonara. And then hit, cause it's gotta be the, it's okay. Pizza tonda Rome, just do that, see if something comes up. Is that his, the very top one? Is that his shit? I don't think so.

I don't think this is something. I mean, it's about myself. Tom, this was the greatest pizzas I've ever made. You're making me actually really want pizza now. I'm definitely fucking up pizza today. Yeah. I'm fucking. Wait, so what's your go to in LA right now? Cross the board. I right now we're dominoes. We're hardcore dominoes. We're talking about like I know world class dude.

I gotta be honest with you though, I kinda grew up on Domino's. Do you like the thin crust though? Do they do a Brooklyn pie? That is. Brooklyn pie. Domino's Brooklyn pie. That's like that New York style.

New York style, but it's even thinner, and it's the kind of less calories. I grew pepperoni piece, Brooklyn pie, and I do onion mushroom Brooklyn pie. Now do the kids like this pizza? I eat both of those myself. I don't know what they get. Do they like it?

Oh, they like Domino's. They like, and so we had a place near us. I won't know what they get. Do they like it? Oh, they like dominos. They like, and so we had a place near us. I won't say the name because it's right near us. What's the, um, yeah, but you're like, but you like that one or no? I love the, the dominos broke the pies. One of my favorite. No, the one that's near you. Oh, I love it. I love it. But the girls, there anything kind of a little bit out of their taste buds.

And they're like, I know it's good, but I'm, I don't really get it. Yeah. Like I'd rather just dominos Hawaiian. And you're like, I know it's good, but I don't really get it. Yeah. Like I'd rather just Domino's Hawaiian. And you're like, uh, Ila, can I get a cheeseburger from Domino's cheeseburger pizza? And it actually is pretty fucking good. It's actually really fucking good. And Domino's doesn't fucking anything up.

What's the homeless thing you were talking about, but Steve, have you seen Steve Burns video on Instagram? Yeah. Dude, pull up Steve Burns Instagram. He's back from Nashville. I think he's doing a podcast now. And take a look at this video. That's top one.

Yeah, just take a look at this video. And this is, this is the state of Los Angeles right now. And this is not an exaggeration. This is just a walk through our, just a street in Los Angeles. Okay. So look, this is him just walking down the street. He goes, I'd like to walk down the sidewalk, but I can't after walking the street

because this is the street is what he's saying. And now that's what he's saying there. And then this is him walking down the street. It is straight up. Oh, like full tents and like full camps on the sidewalk. Yeah, and it's like people have set up homes. Yeah, yeah, like legit homes. Jesus.

And it's like at what point is Los Angeles are the mayor, Eric Garcetti and the governor, Gavin Newsom, gonna realize this is on their watch. Like they need to, they're the only ones that can take care of that. Right. I'll say this right now to both of those motherfuckers. I will donate my time to put on any show

to raise money to make this stop. But it's not good for the people doing it. Like no one wants to be homeless. Like whatever the fuck, it's like do something about it. It's so bad in Los Angeles. It is bad. It is so bad that you drive through Hollywood. Well, that's the thing is that we used like LA a few years ago, you basically, you know,

your major city has homeless people in all different parts of the city. But like it was kind of, all this was kind of pushed into downtown. So downtown in like the north central and southern parts of like that downtown pocket, that toy district, and Skid Row, you're like, Skid Row was like, acceptable, you still try to grow. Yeah, here's, this is a homeless area. And people were like, okay, as long as it's out of sight. And then now it's like, that's Venice.

You can tell you, it's, you know, Brentwood has a huge homeless camp now. The valley is, see it all over the valley. Any, and it's under pass know, Brentwood has a huge homeless camp now. The Valley is. See it all over the Valley. Any underpass in the valley is just, it's just shancy times. It's more like about what it indicates, because you go like, oh, this is a epidemic that is spreading, growing. It used to be meant, it used to be, in my opinion,

a mental illness problem. Mm-hmm. I don't think it's that anymore. Now I think it's that this city is so unattainable for so many people that are so down on their luck with what's going on with coronavirus, that so many people are saying this is my only option. Well, there's definitely still a huge mental illness epidemic that we don't really do anything about. And I think you're right. We drove don't really do anything about. And I think you're right.

We drove, we drove, one of the homeless people the other day was like one of the music teachers at the kids school. Really? Yeah. And you're like, okay, she wasn't crazy. I mean, I think her husband was on drugs, but whatever. Yeah. And so like, it's just, it's so bad. And here's the problem.

So you gotta move it. Where are you gonna move? To, I'm, I don't ever talk about politics. It's so bad. And here's the problem. You gotta move it. Where are you gonna move? To... I'm... I don't ever talk about politics. I do not know if Gavin Newsom or Eric R. Cetti or Democrat or Republican. I don't know what... I'm sure you were about to say, I don't know if they watched this podcast.

But go ahead. I bet they have their own podcast called Two Fucks Do Nothing. Yeah. Here's my point. I don't know what they are, so I don't mean to talk politics at all. I know nothing about their platforms, but what I will say is they have driven out a lot of my friends who could have helped raise money to help fix problems.

And if they keep doing that, then this city has only one direction to go. And it's a certain point, even I will have to leave. Like, like, I, I, this city's gone straight down. Dude, you know what Joe, I hear Joe talk about on his podcast and I go, I go, I go, oh, come on, Joe, you remember, you used to love this city. Yeah.

And then I drive through Hollywood the other day. Dude. And I'm like, I'm like, it's not, I'm not angry about it. I look at it and I go, these are people that are not getting to live their best life. Hollywood's sad. And there's so much that I go,

hey Garcetti, drive once. Drive once, get in your own car through Hollywood. And because you're not, I don't know where you're driving. I don't know what freeway you get on and where you get off because you're not driving the same road know where you're driving. I don't know what freeway you get on, and where you get off, because you're not driving the same road, I'm riding.

Freeways are covered in trash. And Gavin Newsom, they must not see it, they must not see it, or they're not, they're really not doing anything about it. They must be so in the fucking weeds with coronavirus. Well, they get so,

yeah, of course, and there's so much that's on your plate and that, you know, to manage, like if you're a mayor, governor of city or state of the size and all the issues, but this is a disaster. It's a disaster. And whatever they've done with taxes, and I'm looking, I'm sitting here, willing to pay my taxes. I know I'm getting taxed out

the nose. I'm fine with it. I signed up for that. I like living here. My daughters like living here. We're cool with it. But there's also programs like whatever happened to fucking comic relief. Comic relief. Guess what? None of them live here anymore. Yeah. Like no one gives a fuck about Alex that you drove Joe out and fucking Tom out. Like everyone's leaving. And you're like, God damn it man. It makes sense why the city's going to shit. And it's like, I know this stupid speech

isn't gonna change anything, but it's like, hit me up. I'll fucking do a show. Can't raise a million dollars, but maybe we can help out like a block of people. Sure. Yeah. I don't care about politics, I care about people.

And when you see people not getting to live, the happiest life they get to live, and not, it's just heartbreaking to me. It's true. Whatever, I didn't mean to get on a soapbox. I know you guys support homeless people, and you're like, they should be homeless. Let's just remind people that a lot of paralyzed guys can feel their dicks

That was this episode. I think so wasn't it. I can't remember. I don't remember either this I hope we're still finding those two girls from Canada I'll try to post more pictures. That was I know that was a week ago, but you know, we'll see if we can get them Ladies and gentlemen, this is two bears won cave the FaceTime and podcast post more pictures. That was, I know that was a week ago, but you know, we'll see if we can get them. Ladies and gentlemen, this is two bears one cave. The FaceTime and podcast. I can't believe people don't fucking FaceTime people. I know it's pretty aggressive. I'm only FaceTime people for no one. When people text me, I'm gonna FaceTime them right back. There's nothing that makes, there's nothing to make somebody happier when they're just like, can you make it? And you're like, I'm a FaceTime hero quick.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna see if I've attacked on my thing Adam Richmond just What do you say I'm gonna just face time him again fuck him He's Adam Richmond man. He's a fucking television star. He's game. He is camera ready every time you call him He's camera ready, okay? So far sounds good Adam Richmond how are you man I didn't expect to be called so soon hey hey first question for we've been talking about foods of build America but first question is a facetime because Tom says it is is a facetime an aggressive move to somebody I think if you're if you don't know it's coming, it can't be.

I'm just apparent to a child or a child to a parent. Then I think you get carte blanche. All right, I'm turning you to the camera so people can see your beautiful face. Hey, real quick, real quick. I was trying to explain pizza hut and like the dough and like pizza and real quick I want to see if I got it right give me the quick explanation about pizza hut if you could So pizza hut was the carney brothers and They took over an old restaurant and they could only fit eight letters on the sign

They knew they wanted to sell pizza, but the pizza takes up five so that's how they got But because it was the only three letters. I did pizza pizza hut They knew they wanted to sell pizza, but they pizza takes up five, so that's how they got that, because it was the only three letters. I had to pizza-pick for pizza. Yeah, he's good. And they used French bread style dough, because that's what their customers knew, instead of Italian crust.

So that's why it had that kind of crumbly, more French bread-like consistency. And then they were failing in the East because people knew what Neil New York did today's the like. So what David was, they created a thicker crust to show like we're not trying to be you, we're trying to do our own thing,

which became their pan pizza. And they streamlined production by not using like raw ingredients that get cooked on the pie, like we used to get in New York, they would cook everything at a different facility and just kind of finish it there. Anything else? I don't know, I think I'm- I told Tom, I said, you are the consummate professional

that you are always camera ready. And I also said, you know what, it's amazing about Adam, I don't know if he can do it right now. He can also do any of his old man versus Reed intros just on the drop of a hat. Yeah. He can just drop. Just give us, just give us, name a city and Adam will give you a city

Name a city like a like a city of members of food city like Columbus Adam. Okay Columbus Okay Columbus Okay, I'm outside the Ohio Dilly a legendary restaurant here in Columbus I've been serving buckeye's generation after generation now while I've had a chance to sample the Terminator and sample amazing sausages at Schmidt's Sausage House, I am going to take on the Dagwood Challenge. This massive sandwich has been attempted thousands of times, but only a handful of people have managed to finish it. If I do, I get a t-shirt, a picture of the the wall of fame and my spot in Columbus Ohio food history Today is a battle of man versus dag and dad

It ain't your day. What the fuck you amazing? Is that a fucking amazing? Is that a fucking amazing? Is that a fucking amazing? God damn it, you're a fucking legend Adam. You're a goddamn legend That was fantastic Adam. The girls the girls are loving the treats. You sent them. Thank you very much. I love. I'm doing after his surgery. Oh, how's Tom doing? Doing well, man. Yay. Everything works.

I miss you, man. Yeah, you're the best brother. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Any time. I'll talk to you later. Stay safe. All right. See you, man. We'll talk to you later, stay safe. All right, me good guys.

See you man. We did a podcast with him at your place years ago. Do you remember that? This is when Joey talked about spending the night in jail with black people. Yes. And we could not stop laughing. And Adam was like, you know, the only thing I don't like

to get, like, asks, he's like, people asking about like, bowel movements and stuff from doing the show. And I was like, that's what I want to know. Yeah. Do you take big shit? And I was like, that's what I want to know. Yeah. Do you take big shits? And he was like, all right. All right.

First of all, first of all, is that was unbelievable. So that was like, so Vant stuff, man. So we got drunk one night in like New Mexico or something, Arizona. And I did it all night to him. You're like, say that he's made him do like 20 episodes. He's remembered some all? He's just his brain is different than our. Like retains that. He's his, say that he had him do like 20 episodes. He's remembering them all. He's just, his brain is different than ours.

Like retains them. He's, I think he's got a photographic memory, but the way his brain works, he's first of all. There's this thing that I can do on, like when I start a tour, like if we, I'll launch a tour if COVID is, you know, put the rest, let's say later in the year, and it'll be, let's say it'll start in September and go through 2022 if you give me like a

couple weeks to Get like get all the information down You can go like April 11th and I'll be like I'll be in a Madison and then you can be like July 16th. I'll be like July 16th, Minneapolis. Like I'll retain every city by date for about a year. Like I can do it for like a year, little over a year.

No, I can't. Well, after the tour this summer, I didn't even know what city we were in over there. And everything was the identical stage and identical. But that is like, is that not insane? Yeah, he was like remembering a set. Dude, I did it all night long. We sat and drank and I would just call a city.

And it was like, that's what I say. There are guys who know a little bit about a little bit and guys who know a lot about a lot. He knows so much about so much. Like even, and it's, I'm telling you, when I said, tell me about Pizza Hut, and he just starts rattling off the information. I was like, oh, I do remember that kind of.

He really retains it. That's a fucking, I want that clip of Adam, can you clip that out? I wanna put that, that clip of Adam Richmond doing the read for Columbus is fucking amazing. Uh, we got a wrap up. We should wrap up. Yeah.

Um, there's a lot of fun. Thank you guys for watching and listening. It was a great time. Love you. I love you too. Bird and Tom. Tom and Bert. One goes top and swat the other.

Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance and hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cake. No scripts to beat a booze amateur, for toology. Dirty jokes, ronchi humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cake.