2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 79 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Josh Potter
Episode Date: May 3, 2021Check out Josh's new YouTube channel here: https://youtube.com/channel/UCpREVmHBIx4QIQLA5ZUx0wA SPONSORS: - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to save $200 on your order - Go to https://us.pandora.net/B...ears to start shopping or find a store near you. - Head to https://Policygenius.com right now to get started. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to https://www.shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in CAVE for a 60-day free trial. - Go to https://Whoop.com and use code "Bears” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://SAFishing.com/CAVE to get five face shields for the price of on Today on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Josh Potter fills in for Bert to talk about everything from new tour dates to living in Los Angeles. To start things off, Potter shotguns a Bud Light seltzer, discusses how his eye sight is getting worse, then tells the story of falling into a moat on his way to do a podcast. Then, Tom and Josh talk about talking to your kids about weed, hearing your parents have sex and chores they hate the most. Next, Potter explains that baseball saved his life during quarantine, the NHL is the worst sports league and how Bills fans have the most fun at football games. Lastly, Tom and Potter talk about the leftover belongings of Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein and how much Potter hates Los Angeles weather.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I can shotgun this thing without spilling a drop, by the way. I do it in my bedroom.
Okay.
Seven times a day.
Alright, we're good, we're good, we're good.
Okay.
Ta-da!
Wow! Very impressive.
Not a drop spilled.
It's really like Bert never left, you know?
Just bringing my Bert quality stuff to the table here. That's really's really great man you do that seven times a day in your apartment
I believe you
Guess who gets to talk this week?
So happy that Bert's not here and
week. So happy that Burt's not here. And it's, I mean, it's good for him and his career, obviously, he's going to be a movie star, which will definitely bump up
this views. Real happy about that. He's in Serbia with Mark Hamill shooting the
machine movie, which I've said in other places that I think I speak for all of us
when I say, we hope it's the end of this fucking story finally.
It's the Star Wars or the machine?
Well, but no, I'm thrilled for him, but it's fun to be able to bring other people in here.
So Josh Potter is joining today.
Hey, thanks for having me.
I didn't know if I was going to have to do whole shit on a blow just to like get my good going,
start telling you about my party plan business and stuff.
Is it weird to not have seven drinks in front of you?
Cause that's what I usually see.
I even even put my one drink.
Your one drink sitting here.
I thought you were gonna have some product placement out today.
I was getting ready to shotgun some of it for you.
Just to like, you know, be on par with who sits in the seat.
It's not under contract,
but if you would like to shock on something we can definitely pull
it up.
Maybe let's rock and rock and I've done them so often.
Can we get them a drink?
I mean I have one here but yes.
Oh.
Oh.
It's our wires.
It's not.
I managed to not spill on wires.
Okay.
Oh god.
It's perfect. I managed to not spill on lawyers. Okay. Oh, god.
That's perfect.
It's perfect, don't even do that.
It's in my blind side.
I know.
It's totally fine.
I reached, well that was my mistake for reaching for it.
Just still some in there.
Cool.
There you go.
I don't even care anymore about when I do things like that.
Blind way.
You shouldn't.
Because it's gonna only get worse.
Jesus. That was it. After that, that was shouldn't. Because it's gonna only get worse. Jesus.
That was it.
After that, that was the way you passed.
Exactly.
You're kind of a soul man.
These are the people that watch me do stuff like that.
And I'm gonna like, yo catch.
And I throw something.
You're like, what the fuck?
I move.
I'm like, what are you trying to do?
Sorry, I'm not even helping.
Yeah, you're fine.
You're fine.
Don't worry about it.
I'm just trying to lift the wire from being.
It's actually, yeah, yeah.
Good instinct, buddy. Yeah. No, no, you're fine, don't worry about it. I'm just trying to lift the wire from being... It's actually, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good instinct, buddy.
Yeah.
No, no, you're fine.
And don't cut this out.
What a way to begin.
Well, it is the perfect segue.
Oh, God, I need, this is why I need a family
because it's gonna get worse
and I need people around me.
Yeah, look.
Because pretty soon, just spilling drinks
is gonna turn into walking into traffic.
It's going to turn into like-
Your family falling down stairs.
You might start a family this weekend, you know?
That would be cool.
At this point, we're gonna be a few weeks after,
you know, this comes out like-
Oh yeah, that's true.
But what I'm saying is you're traveling this week.
Yeah, no, I mean, I am going someplace. I don't want to- You don't want to get too specific. know this comes out like oh yeah that's true. But what I'm saying is you're traveling this week.
Yeah, no, I mean I am going someplace.
I don't want to get too specific.
Any presumptions on the thing, but you know every time I travel there is the opportunity
that a family could arise.
Yeah.
So that's what I the way I always like to look at it.
Yeah.
Every time I get on a plane I go I could leave this city with a family.
People are often surprised that you are a ladies man.
Thank you.
I don't like to self describe myself as such.
They don't, but I'll tell you this,
as somebody that's been around you quite a bit
and traveled with you literally around the world.
Yeah.
It is not, it's not a bit.
It's you fucking, No, it's impressive.
It's impressive.
I tell people all the time.
I don't know why it is and people like to ask
and they think I'm gonna be able to expound
some wisdom upon them the way that's good.
Like a guy with mascara and my feathers
and my hat or whatever, you know, I did it.
Yeah.
But no, like you got a Negum bro,
you gotta compliment that bitch.
Shit on that fucking bitch first. Yeah, that's not your style. That's not your style at all.
I've seen that and I gotta tell you as much as it's sadly works and I've seen it work with with
certain guys and certain women. It is not your style. You're not the energy for that even just in comedy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I can't even sit down at the table and be like, nice shirt, fuck face, or whatever
they do.
I mean, I don't have the energy.
No, what is, how would you describe your approach to success with women?
I don't even know how to describe.
I feel like it's literally just...
They have such low expectations of me.
I think that bodes in my favor already.
If I can exceed that bar, which is so easy to do with a lot of them, then I'm golden.
And then they think they found like, this is a secret.
Oh, right.
But then I turn out to be genuinely like most shit heads probably, you know, at the end of the day,
where it's like, I'm not going to marry him, but I'll forgive him until I get bored.
Yeah, so.
And you're perfectly content with that.
That's fine, yeah, I don't get my anger about it.
And you're content with that, but you are now,
maybe it's age, maybe it's this past year,
the pandemic, you're now at the place where you're also like,
maybe I would like something more.
No, yeah, I mean, again, I have been so alone
for the past year at that, I'm like,
I gotta start off, especially with the accidents
I've been having.
Yes, this is my eyes.
This was a pretty good shot.
Well, I can shot on this thing
without spilling a drop, by the way.
I do it in my bedroom seven times a day.
I'll show you.
I can't pick this up without spilling it.
Okay.
Now this can is a little absurd, but in Adaf did throw it for the record.
So I'm going to do it.
I slid it.
Okay.
Alright, we're good.
We're good.
We're good.
Okay.
We have a clean insertion.
Okay.
No worries.
All right.
I was nervous about the knife.
Okay.
What about it?
Just nothing
Ta-da Wow Very impressive not a drop spilled it's it's really like Bert never left, you know just bringing my bird quality
Yeah table here. That's really great, man.
You do that seven times a day in your apartment.
I believe you.
It's the most, I can't drink a beer normally anymore.
Wait, so hold on.
I drink it just like I just crack, I do it right on my twitch.
So you accidentally knocked over the red bowl and you
you that happens when you leave drinks around.
So I'm gonna shock on the last two. You you, you, that happens when you leave drinks around. So I'm gonna shock him. That's true.
You, you texted me this thing and I saw,
I started to see a little bit of the,
of a clip of it on Instagram,
but I didn't even want to watch it
because I so, I was so excited when you texted me this
that I was like, I can't wait to see him in person
for you to tell me like in detail what happened.
I'm getting more blind, turns out.
Mm-hmm.
Or I'm just getting older.
I don't really know what it is.
We saw me spill that, obviously.
Things like that are happening all the time.
I'm walking into the side of the dresser.
I'm doing things like that lately.
Ellie McCoskey had me come over to do her podcast.
And she tapes it up in like the hills somewhere.
It's not like her house. It don't know who's house it is.
But you take it at what? Uber there or something?
I took an Uber there. I was already running late. I get there.
I don't know Ali Mckofsky by the way very well. We've seen each other.
We've met but we haven't like ever had a conversation before.
Yeah. So this was kind of like a nice to meet you situation.
And I get to the door. First of all, I get the Uber jobs for me off like a block,
not a block like, there's no blocks up there in the hills,
but it might as well have been like a nine houses away.
So I'm like, I hear her yelling,
I can't see it's dark.
I hear going like,
Josh and I'm like, I'm just wandering around like an asshole
and screaming, like, yeah, I'm trying to figure it out.
To be fair, for a person with good vision,
these, the hills, kind of neighborhoods are.
It's dark.
It's totally confusing and it's easy to get lost up there.
So it's super dark.
And so we get to where she tapes it.
And I, you know, she walks me into this gate,
which is, by the way, the facade is a structure.
It is not just like a fence.
It is whatever that kind of Spanish concrete,
whatever that shit is, where it's like art deco
or whatever, I don't know, think about concrete.
But it is like that.
So I feel like I'm walking into a home,
not walking into a yard.
Right, okay.
So like I'm in the yard now. Now you're in the house, okay. The foyer, I yard. Right, okay. So like I'm in the yard now,
I'm walking into the house.
Now you're in the house, okay.
The foyer, I thought.
Right.
So I get in the house and I walk to the side as you do
in a stranger's home, you know,
like thinking like, I don't know where I'm going,
so I'll just like let someone lead the way.
Sure.
So I kind of walk up off to the side.
There's things on there, like little shoes or whatever,
and I walk and I take one step and I fall into a moat.
Like straight in.
Completely submerged.
Submerged.
Eight foot moat, like this moat, I didn't,
I touched the bottom and remember pushing myself.
Oh my god, yeah, dude.
So you essentially, it's like you walk into someone's pool,
but it's like, I penciled out into a pool,
the deep end of a pool.
And then I just like pulled myself out
and I'm like, I can't believe that just happened
and I'm just like, I'm all right.
Like I, I even, I say it in the thing, the clip here.
I'm like, I'm soaking wet in that clip by the way.
I took off.
I had another shirt on over that shirt
that I was just like, fuck it, I took that off.
So right here, you're fresh out of that moat.
Well, I mean, I went to the bathroom
and like rang out all of my clothes the most that I could.
Are you sitting on a towel?
Yeah, a couple towels, actually.
And then I was like, should I sit back?
There's at one point, they show the moat in this clip.
I don't know if you can pan around and find it, but still,
so you could see the kind of, but it was dark at the time. If it was the daytime,
I would have seen it. Right. Hands up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought I was just walking on a
different color floor. And I swear, I remember just my foot stepping in and I go,
that's water. And then I just went all the way because she even said she was like,
I'm surprised there's the moat right there.
That's what I walked into.
So it's actually open air.
Did not know that when I got in there
because I was completely pitch black.
So when you walked through that gate,
you're walking obviously this way towards us, right?
Yes, and there was that concrete slab.
And to me it looked like that was something in the way.
And I needed to walk around it.
Oh, so on either side is water of the slab, okay.
Yeah, okay. So you could see there of the slab, okay. Yeah. Okay.
So you could see there on the slab,
the water goes underneath, so that's its bridge.
There wasn't the toys in the,
I wouldn't have seen a beach ball.
Sure.
But,
And when you came out though, did you wanna die?
Like, I came out at first and we just looked at each other
and I was like, what happens now?
I don't even know.
Yeah.
And of course I want, like, I don't get embarrassed,
but that was easily the most because it's like,
if it was like, isn't there something?
Give me an example, if it was like,
fucking, I don't know.
Earl Skakele's podcast, I would have been like,
sorry, I fell in your mouth, Earl.
Yeah.
But Ali's like a cool girl, like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like nervous moat, Earl. But Ali's like a cool girl.
I'm like, I'm like, nervous a little bit around her.
There's something different about being embarrassed
in front of a woman.
It doesn't matter.
That you don't know.
That you don't know, yes.
And how was she like, what did she say?
I couldn't even imagine when I first looked at her,
I just saw her face and she was like,
but she, on the pot, I mean, we did a whole podcast afterwards,
so we kind of flushed it out, but she even said she was like, you walked into it so almost confidently
that I thought that was like your thing.
Like you're like the new Steve-O or something,
and you're just doing like a bit.
She was like, she was doing a bit right now,
like she really, like at first.
Wow.
But I got out and I was like, I was so cold,
it was freezing by the way.
Oh, that's way worse.
I was talking in that I was in Titanic where I couldn't, like I was like, I was so cold, it was freezing by the way. Oh, that's way worse.
I was talking in that I was in Titanic
where I couldn't, I was like, I am so sorry.
And she's like, oh my God, and she goes,
it's your phone okay and thankfully it was.
Well, that's really,
I can't believe the case that I had.
And that's really a thoughtful question too.
Yeah, immediately, that was the first thing,
and it was in my back pocket.
I had like, it on with my headphones still and like I had a mask.
I had everything still on fully super close and all the way under.
Dude, and then pulled myself out like I was the fucking chicken fast
eyes that ridge about high out of that thing.
But do you have to like how did you not hit your head or something?
Yeah, trying to like because I'm this is the thing about being blind for so long.
or something, trying to like, because I'm, this is the thing about being blind for so long.
When you make a mistake, you have to go all in
because otherwise, that's how you hurt yourself.
You know what I mean?
So once I felt my foot in the water,
all of me's got to go in that water
because otherwise if I go,
I'm all of a sudden I crack my head on the side of the water.
Yeah, it was actually, yes.
I've experienced the same thing with these injuries
where I go, like, don't fight against something
that's just let things happen, let movements happen
because my fear is that overcompensating
for a little mistake could lead to cracking my fucking head
on the stage.
Yeah, like, could you imagine if I tried to,
because it's an arrow, imagine if I just fucking cracked my skull head on that. Yeah, like, could you imagine if I tried to like, because it's an arrow. Imagine if I try, if I, if I just fucking cracked my skull
on the side of it, and then I was floating in that blow.
Oh man.
Blood's everywhere.
What would she do?
She would be like, I just cut her for five minutes.
Pull out your fucking camera.
Pull out your camera.
She just tapes her podcast, there,
just let the owner of the house and some long eyes
and this fucking smash his face in the sun. This is her podcast there, she has to tell the owner of the house and some blind guy in this fucker, that's just crazy, man.
And the guy is like, what do you say, which is like, here's the missing of this picture.
I kind of wish that happened to me, so many reasons, but because of the fact that she would
have had to explain that to people, that would have been the best bit of all times.
Oh my God.
And it cracked my spine.
It would be worse if you had cracked your shit, blood and everything, but you're paralyzed,
but not dead.
And then you wake up more blind and like, doing one of those like I show
the copy store.
Hey, Ali, I have to like be the reminder.
The store has to build a ramp to the stage for you.
The potter, the potter, fucking ramp.
Can't do shows in the belly room.
Like, you're like that.
He has to do the main.
They have to get the whole, all the door guys have to carry me up there
Tell me god
I think it would have been more I think you would have I
Mean shit, I should just get one of those now
That was a great set. You know what?
I think that should just be my mode of transportation
in preparation.
Why wait till I get paralyzed?
I mean, it is inevitable the way I'm-
Yeah, start doing it.
The way I'm-
I'm Mr. McGuwing into modes already.
I might as well just get the chair.
You know, learn how to use it now while I can still function.
Oh.
I just would have liked if I would have died
and then she would have maybe been accused of it.
I would have been a real nightmare for her
to have to figure that out.
What if you reached out right now to your upcoming dates
and just go, you guys got a wheelchair ramp?
They're like, what?
I think a lot of them do to be honest with you.
Well, if it's a new building, yes,
but I'm sure that a lot of the whole business.
I've seen a lot of wheelchair comics at clubs.
Yeah, I mean, like at mics and stuff like that.
So I think either they go up the ramp or someone else.
It's got to, because we know what most club owners
are like, they're just pieces of shit.
And it's got to be so annoying the first time they're like,
hey, do you have a ramp?
Because there's a guy that wants to do a spot and they're like,
oh, I could, I could, I'm not going to,
but I could name at least four of them that were like,
I have to hire this goddamn interpreter to do sign language.
Yes.
They hate that, they hate what that happens.
But one deaf person comes in and they got to do it.
Oh, yeah, a state of California, like that is a, I mean, I don't know how it,
if it's a national thing, but I know in the state of California,
it is a law that's in New York, a law two of me.
Yeah, it's a law two of me.
And they're gonna like come in tonight
when an interpreter, they're like, okay, no problem.
I don't mind it, obviously.
It's great.
We had one, dude, had one in here, I believe, somewhere.
But, oh, yeah, we've had it multiple time.
I mean, when you do it, it's stand up.
The ones that get a little too, like, it's like, all right, man, are you the comic?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The way that they're like acting out your jokes.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you're like, well, they got really into that
pedophile one of the rounds.
Yeah.
It's fun to make them sign heinous shit too.
It's the most fun.
Yeah, that's the best part of it.
You're like, Hitler was chill and you're like,
I got to look good.
Yeah. Yeah.
So fun.
But yeah, so I mean, you can listen to the story, the story, and it's immediacy after it
happened.
Well, just Alemikowski's pocket.
Yeah, definitely check that out.
Just because we just teased it, where are you in May?
Well, in May, I'm going to be May 6 through 8.
I think that's after when this comes out.
Yeah.
I will be at the American Comedy Company again.
I was there last one.
You just sold it out.
Yeah, two shows, so I'm doing five now.
So hopefully the people, I mean, it's limit, so limited capacity.
Yeah, but we can see if we can get five shows, so that'd be wonderful.
And then May 13th Omaha Funny Bone, and then June 9th and 10th, I'll be in Florida again.
And I'm doing Tampa on the 9th and Orlando on the 10th
And you can get tickets in my link tree on my Twitter and my Instagram and the handle for those is what Josh Potter at J underscore
Potter for Twitter at Josh underscore Potter for Instagram Google Google me. I'm on those is it kind of wild to you that
Your selling places out like I don't care that it's, I mean limited.
No, of course.
It's, well, it's wild to sell any tickets.
And thank you so much for that.
Because I wouldn't be doing that if it wasn't for you.
I mean, I have to take the baton and run.
But this is the platform, but you're the one
that that's the reason they're buying that.
Yeah, I mean, it's all I've literally ever wanted.
So it's like, it's pretty awesome.
And I hate 2020 for stealing the first opportunity
of it away from me, but now it's coming back
and hopefully people still care and will keep buying.
Oh, they do.
I mean, I think that like the,
my prediction is that this upcoming,
this next 18 months are going to be insane.
Do people love coming out already?
I can just tell.
Yeah.
And I can't wait to go out too.
And I, while when this wait to go out to and I
Well, when this comes out, one of the clubs around here is gonna be open again
But I just got word last night that it's opening up in a week. So I'm pretty pumped about I've locked down so much shit because
I know what the competition's gonna be like what do you mean if you don't if you go like like I've talked to some
Entertainment in general. Yeah, I've talked to comics and stuff and I go
How far out of you booked and they're like oh, I'm just waiting for this in that.
I'm like, you realize that none of those venues
will be available, right?
Like, you're competing with every other comic
who needs to book a tour, every like,
you know, Broadway style show, every single,
like, we're all going out again.
Yeah.
And like, people who are sleeping on booking stuff
and like, dude, it's, it's gonna be gone. You know what's wild to me is during the pandemic, the shittiest
bookers pre pandemic thrived. Yeah. Because they would put on shitty shows still. Sure.
And they were the only things going on. So I feel like people are so like star for entertainment
that now venues are going to exist in more places. And I think like, yeah, there's gonna be a shit ton of them
that closed because of all of this.
But I think like things are gonna spring up
because of the resurgence, you know?
Definitely, not in LA, but everywhere else.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what's going on here.
I don't know.
I'll move to fucking why.
I feel like there's more comedy happening
in Wyoming at this point, but yeah.
LA seems like it's, mm-hmm.
We are supported by Pandora. You you know mom means different things to different people
I don't know how you feel about your mom, but probably pretty special, right?
I mean she pushed you out or you were removed from her and then she nurtured and loved you and helped shape the person
You are today any kindness or empathy that you have is a result of her and not your dad, right?
I mean, I've only lived here since the end of 2017 and it's been
alarming. But do you see, not let's say, removed from
comedy, a decline of the city? Yeah, I live in East Hollywood. I
just watched domestic violence incident outside my apartment at 11 a.m.
yesterday. Let's start at the beginning. Go ahead. So I mean, it wasn't, it was pretty run
of the mill. There was no, I thought it was just a bipolar woman as you see. They're out there.
But then I was talking to one of my neighbors and they were like, no, I heard the whole backstory.
She is a drug addict and she broke their window
and he was like, baby, you have to stop using
and she decided to throw a shit fit in the road.
In the middle of the road.
Yeah, and that's where I heard I went out
to have my cigarette in the road
because I can't smoke in my patio anymore.
So I'm out there just watching basically, you know?
That's the fun thing to watch.
She was like, you know, like raising her voice, like they could just be saying these things to each other.
But raising your voice to a level in which you know
other people are going to hear it, that is a psycho move.
Yeah.
And that's not even powerful.
That's like a weak thing where it's like,
I'm gonna bring everyone's attention to this.
So like it raises panic in the person you're arguing with
because they're just kind of like, hey, what are you doing?
You know what I mean?
But it's a tactic of weak people.
You know what I mean?
It is, yeah.
It's hilarious to watch though, you know?
Yeah, and I'm sure she was on drugs when she was doing it.
Yeah, and it's the last thing you wanna hear
when you're on drugs and upset about it
some was being like, you gotta stop doing drugs.
Hey, can you not do the drugs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
That's the last time you wanna hear it.
But yeah, it's like 11 a.m. and it was.
That sucks.
It reminds me of when you're high and you're having a good time.
People bum you out.
It's bum you out or someone goes, you high right now.
And you're like, what are you doing?
I've gotten over it.
I mean, I've been a hot, a stoner for a very long time.
And now when people ask me, they're like, you know, they do that thing.
It smells like weed.
I always smell like weed. Yeah.
To the point where I go, yeah, it's me. Like, obviously, it's me.
I smell like weed. I smoked weed. You know that. Of course, it's me.
Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't get upset about it anymore.
So when they say that, like, you hire it, like, because there would be this one
dildo, he's not a dildo, he's my friend. Uh, but he's like a Buffalo comic
who doesn't do anything. Yeah. And I like him a lot. But deal, though, he's my friend. But he's like a Buffalo comic who doesn't do anything. Yeah.
And I like him a lot, but we party-wise,
not on the same page ever.
So he'll always be like, oh, you smoking weeds?
You do that kind of thing where you're like,
but I mean, I got over that real quick,
because it's like, who does that to an another adult?
It's the worst.
Especially now when weeds being legal,
I just had this conversation,
what are you gonna talk to your kids about weed?
Do you talk to them about like it's booze now?
Or because it's like when we were growing up it was like part of dare.
It was like heroin and weed were like the same category.
They still are federally.
Well I guess yeah.
No no they definitely are.
No I know what you're saying but I mean like there's inroads and like depends what state
you live in.
Yeah but that's going to the store in by.
I just did. I went to the store and buy. I just did.
I went to the store and bought, you know what I'm saying?
But the fed still don't consider that.
I agree with you, but I'm saying socially,
the conversation with your children has to change.
I feel like, I remember, I was with my cousin in Florida
and we were smoking after the kids had gone to bed
and it's so weird, like I haven't seen them in three years now.
And the kids have grown in three years very much.
So now it's like, they know things.
You know what I mean?
Like they walked in on them having sex.
They were like, what were you doing to mom?
Like that kind of conversation, I had to.
I triple check, like triple check.
I mean, I come to the door every time.
Because my kids are at the five year old,
that's the age where they just run in,
unprompted all the time.
But they're not conscious enough
to understand something's occurring.
No, they'd be like, you're trying to kill mom.
Yeah, yeah.
This kid was like, 10 and was like,
are you hurting mom?
Yeah, yeah.
He was like, well, kind of, but she likes it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, I mean, it was like, they were doing some shit.
Yeah, they came locked in and he was like crying after.
He was like, what was that?
They were like, you're some day you'll figure that out.
Like they didn't know what to do.
And so like, I'm wondering that thing.
But then while they were telling me that story,
the kid came downstairs.
I left my weed on their kitchen counter
and he was like, what's that green stuff?
He knows what it is.
But she was like, go to bed or whatever.
She didn't even acknowledge it.
But I said, why can't we just say it's weed?
And you don't hide beer from a kid.
You know what I mean?
You're like, this is a beer,
you drink this when you're 21.
Or when you're, why, why, why,
why, why, why, why, what weed is?
I don't know.
I mean, it's interesting,
because I don't have to have that conversation quite yet.
So I haven't put a lot of thought into it.
You haven't thought of it yet.
No, not really.
I mean, they're always like,
they're always asking this to drink whatever we're drinking.
Like anything, if I drink water.
Do you do what my dad did isn't let them?
No, I'm always like, you don't want this.
And they're like, yes, I do.
And I'm like, no, no, you don't.
This tastes gross.
You just tell them it tastes like mad.
And if you tell them it's gross enough,
sometimes they listen.
See, my dad was like, it's gross.
And I'd be like, I want it.
And he'd be like, all right.
And then I would be like, I need to be like,
that's, there you go. Maybe, I don't know if, maybe we'll have like, the straight list. Like my kids are always, my oldest is be like, I want it, and he'd be like, all right. And then I'd be like, ah, I need to be like, that's, there you go.
Maybe, I don't know if, maybe we'll have like,
the straight lace, like my kids are always,
like my oldest is always like, don't say fuck.
Like whenever we say it, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was into it first.
Didn't you have a spell where he was into it?
Well, the youngest one says God fucking damn it.
The whole thing?
The whole thing.
And he says that cause I say it.
And Jesus.
And so now he'll like drop something and he's like God fucking damn it
I'm like you you man you're way yeah
Come on your two bro chill. That's wild. Yeah, but he's just gets pretty out there this
Sex story that they told me though baby laughs so hard cuz they were like doing some real shit
Really? They were like I mean I it's real shit. I'm really? I think in a lockdown, they were like, I mean, I was like, do it. I was like,
Pile driver.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and like, it's like, oh no.
How do you explain it?
It's not like love making.
You can't be like birds and bees,
Convo coming your way when it's like choking
from behind.
And it's also like, it's so crazy
because kids view their mothers
so differently than their fathers, you know?
So like that is like, that's life is mom.
Mom is everything, and it's great.
And you'd be like, what is Dad doing to my mother?
It's, yeah.
And it's not within the capacity of most
to try and wade through those waters
to try and explain that.
So what do you, I don't know, I've never,
thank God I never, I guess, cared enough
or heard my parents' eyes, that's my,
you know what I did at a young age?
I actually asked to switch rooms with my parents.
So they put me at the other end of the house
and then they had a room next to my sister.
And my sister did say she used to hear them fucking.
Oh.
And I was all the way at the other end of the house
so I never heard anything.
It was awesome.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I've never heard my parents say,
God.
Yeah, I'm so fucking thankful.
I've heard my dad fuck later in life as an adult.
How was that?
Terr just as terrible.
Although it was more like roll my eyes terrible.
It was like, if my roommate was fucking in this capacity,
I would have been annoyed.
Do you know what I mean?
He's a stranger.
And are you just hearing like, like that?
Yeah, I'm like, ah, you know what I mean?
Like my dad kept the door open.
Yeah, that's why. And then I'm like, ah, you know what I mean? Like my dad kept the door open. Yeah, that's, that's why.
And then he was like, what?
I'm like, can you just shut the door?
I shut the door.
I went, I remember I'd have girls come over.
I shut the door.
My girlfriend at the time, I shut the door
and I'd be like, I'd tell her, like, shut up.
My dad's out there.
She's like, he doesn't fucking care.
Why should we care?
I'm like, God, it's weird.
It's weird, but I agree with her that he doesn't care. Why should we care? I'm like, God, it's weird. He should care.
It's weird, but I agree with her that he doesn't care.
No, I know he didn't.
I was like, I get that.
I still care for something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know why I don't want my dad to listen to me.
No, I don't want, I don't want, I mean, no, I don't want God.
No, but like, the only thing I remember, the only,
so it's not too bad or harsh with memory.
I do remember being, we were in this house house in Milwaukee and it was like two in the afternoon
And I went up to their room and went to open the door and it was locked
I'm like, hello. It's not not processing it like why is there a door locked in the middle of the afternoon
And I put my hair to the door and I just heard country music which they both despise. Oh weird. It was just like noise
Yeah, so they were like drowning out
noise. You know, I mean like putting it when I was like, huh? And then I go, like I put
it together. But that was my only exposure to them having said, now I'm playing country
music. They were just turned on the radio. Oh, they didn't care. They were in the
chair. Yeah. That's so weird. Cause you would think as they hate it, they would be like,
okay, let's at least put anything else on. I don't know. I mean, they, they, they want to talk.
They did tell me that I saw them one time,
but I was like five or six, and I have zero memory.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, zero.
They told you they hate country music,
but really, it's what makes them the horniest.
And so that's why they never played it,
because they had an insatiable desire
to fuck each other every time they heard country music.
If I didn't actually know how much they despised it, it'd be a fun story.
It could still be a ruse.
It could be a ruse.
This whole time.
I remember coming home one time with a buddy like in middle school, seventh grade or something
like that, eighth grade, like after a movie, you know, you just troll the people's houses
on bikes and shit.
And we got to like this dude's house and it was like his garage, you go through the garage
you know into the house. Yeah. One of those homes. and it was like his garage. You go through the garage, you know, into the house.
Yeah.
One of those homes and it was always open.
He walked in, we were just gonna go in and get something
from his room and he's like, it's locked.
That's weird.
Yeah.
And so all of a sudden like we like knocked and he's like,
mom, and he could like hear them.
And we go in and they're like both in like robes.
And like the dad, they were old too.
Like the dad was like fumbling with the television
and it was definitely porn on the TV
and he was like didn't know how to like stop it or whatever.
Oh geez.
And this was the kid who like,
we used to go to his house after school
and he knew his parents were on him.
We knew where his dad kept his playboys.
We knew we kept porn videos.
It was that house.
So we knew like what it was going out.
We're like, oh, they were fucking. Like we put together back then, even, you know, it is. And we're just standing
in the garage like, oh my God. There was porn on the TV. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.
I mean, it's fun to watch an old man fumble with a VCR trying to stop pornography from playing.
Dude, I tell you that I mean, his on like an album of mine like an early album when when I live with my cousin in silver Lake
we shared an apartment and
Every few weeks we have a cleaning lady come by and it ended up being a cleaning lady and her daughter
So the daughter was like in her early 20s moms like in her late 40s. It sounds like a porn. Yeah, it does
Here's the thing he would set it up.
Like, it was, you know what I mean? Like everyone has their, or roommates, but everyone has their own responsibility.
Right. He pay for the, he would just like coordinate it. So I would just, so I'm home one afternoon, and I'm like,
I'm gonna jerk off, and I go into our living room, And I opened the laptop,
and I'm like on one of the...
In the living room, you jerk off.
Yeah, yeah, I was.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Well, I knew he was at work,
and I was like, you know,
I was like, I'll just make a mess out here
and clean it up.
So I'm sitting here like getting started,
like, you know, take it out.
And I'm like, yeah, that's a good clip,
looking for another one.
And I'm just getting like cranking and kind of going, I hear a noise,
and I like, what the fuck?
And I turn and they're both standing behind me.
He had given them a key to not the front door,
to the side door where you come through the kitchen.
How is the daughter again?
She's like 22.
Oh, that's kind of cool. And listen, she is the daughter again? She's like 22. Oh, that's good.
And listen, she is furious.
Whoa, are you?
Yes.
Because from her perspective,
it's that they said come clean
and that I'm delir-
It looks like I'm deliberately doing this
after knowing that-
Oh my God, that's probably a thing.
Sure, it's a thing.
But here's what, this is the worst part.
Well, one of the worst parts,
I'm flipping out too. Like I'm so shocked. Sure, it's a thing, but here's what this is the worst part. Well, one of the worst parts.
I'm flipping out, too.
I'm so shocked.
I slam the MacBook.
It was an older MacBook, and the audio just keeps playing.
Wow.
That's...
And it was like aggressive audio.
I just want to throw it up.
I don't know what that is.
It was like a throating compilation or something.
You've thrown it into the dishwasher.
Oh, yeah. And you just hear, well, well, well thrown it in like the dishwasher? Oh yeah. Yeah.
And you just hear, well, well, well.
I was like, I'm so sorry.
And you know, they kind of, they turn around,
they go back in the kitchen, I'm like, oh my god.
I mean, I'm mortified.
I go into my room, I put it away, I like, I never finished.
I got pretty, well, yeah, I know.
I'm pretty hard.
And then when I come back, I'm like like I got to get out of the house. Yeah
So I go into the kitchen and the the daughters there and I go I'm gonna
I'm gonna leave I'm gonna go do a thing and she was like good
Oh my god, I'm like I'm really sorry. Oh the shame and then I call my cousin like you mother fucker
Yeah, I tell him the story. He was like, oh yeah, I forgot the thing.
And then he was a great, I got to get another cleaning sheet.
Yeah.
And like, you son of a bitch, man.
Just give me a fucking heads up.
That's wild.
I can't believe that you had that happen to you.
I've never, I've never, I've never
ever having like my mom walk in, you know, like,
if I, but she was good at hiding it.
She never compl, like, I ever, I don't know what it is.
I never put two and two together that she does my laundry and she'd see the gizz.
Yeah.
Situation when I was a teenager.
Sure.
Just didn't care.
She never brought it up like a saint.
I'm saying, my mother never brought it.
And I would gizz into my boxers.
Yeah, same here.
I'd be like, that's a cleanest place to do it.
I throw it in the hamper and it disappears,
but I call that clean again.
Cardboard, right?
Yeah.
I would collect them or throw it under my bed.
So I'd be like six of them.
And then I'd put them,
and then I'd bring them back.
You know what moms do?
That, because I still don't do that.
This is, you know, maybe because I'm a fucking man child
or whatever, but I don't separate my laundry,
like colors and shit like that.
No.
Never.
I do cold water every time.
I don't care.
So I don't care either.
And if something gets ruined,
I'll either wear it like, again,
I don't even like this. Or I'll just be like, I'm just done wearing ruined, I'll either wear it like again. I don't even like this
Yeah, or I'll just be like I'll just I'm just done wearing this I guess
But your mom's diligently set like white
This that so they are touching all of them separately. Yeah, I just assume they grab them and clumps and throw them in the
Yeah, nope. Did you ever do laundry growing up? Yeah, I mean, but that's how I would do and shit
You know what I was great at with chores getting out of them was doing them poorly. Oh, yeah. And if you just doing poorly enough,
they just go fuck it. I'm not even gonna like I would act like I'd be like, sure, yeah, let's go.
And then I would suck at them. And then they would be like, all right, we're not gonna have it. Like
mowing the lawn. Yeah, a lot of zig-zags. Yeah, some get a little patches. I don't know if I want you mowing the lawn.
Well, I mean, back then, you know, my eyes,
they were bad, but they weren't as people like to be like,
don't use that as a crutch.
Yeah.
And now I'm like, fuck you, it's gonna be a courage.
Yeah.
Well, now people are like,
I don't trust you with anything.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
it's like the coin has flipped.
I like that my, I mean, this is like,
I can't believe that this is probably, you know,
something that would upset people today,
but because I was raised in like a traditional household,
like I was never expected to do the things
that I absolutely despise doing,
which is like the dishes and the-
Never did those either, never did any of that.
I've never, but I was expected to take trash out,
mo the lawn, do like the outdoor shit.
You know, there's a flat, I changed the tire,
that kind of stuff.
Whoa.
I had to do that, but I also, that didn't bother me,
but it would absolutely infuriate me
to scrub one plate clean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's hilarious.
I mean, I did the garbage.
I think my mom made the garbage my thing,
and I think this was like, when I knew I wasn't gonna
have a real job ever, because I was like,
every Monday, I remember saying that I go to.
Every Monday, the same time, every week.
All every, so it's every Monday.
I have to be here every Monday for the garbage.
That's weird.
What the fuck is sex?
Yeah, I was like, and my mom's like, yeah,
that's the only, all I can do is take it to the street.
Dude, even today, like, there's almost no worse feeling
than when I trash comes into our neighborhood
on Tuesday morning.
So you gotta put it up my day and night.
Pretty regularly, remember?
But when you forget, and then you have two weeks of trash
on such a fucking nightmare. I bet. It is a nightmare. And then what do you do with it? Pretty regularly remember, but when you forget, and then you have two weeks of trash,
it's such a fucking nightmare.
I bet.
It is a nightmare.
And then what do you do with it?
Because you have to get a can.
It just starts piling up.
It just like it becomes a fucking sound,
then each of those cans weighs like 150.
Like they get so heavy.
And then you can also...
How much of those cost?
I have no fucking idea.
But they cost something, right?
You have to buy them from like the county.
We have two trash, two recycling, and one.
It's like $300 bucks.
One, whatever it's called, like for like graph,
or a few, like the natural,
or whatever it's called.
Green one, what's a cloud in blue?
Repost, they are.
I don't remember what the heck it is.
Post.
But that's buying one on your, yeah, that's for your own, but that's like your own.
Yeah, I'm talking about the LA.
The one where they're like, they say the city on them.
You know what I mean?
You think like, oh, they would just give me this, but no, they're like, this cost you money
like a tax.
And then they, uh, fuck, I mean, man, having a house must suck in general.
But hey, no, it's like every problem is your dude, I mean,
well, you know what happened in our kitchen?
There's like a kitchen sink, the way that the valve
or whatever, like you open the water is like this thing
where you pull it.
And then to have water stop running,
you just push it closed, it's just open on its own.
So I'm like, it just starts running. Oh own. So I'm like, it just starts running.
And I'm like, what?
What?
I can't find fix that.
So I call the rubber band.
My favorite is a plumber or somebody of like that type of job goes, here's the one you're
going to do.
And I'm like, oh no, no, no, this is what you're going to do.
Like, I'm not doing this shit, man.
So it's like, because you're trying to describe it on the phone.
I'm like, are you nearby?
Yeah.
Do you not want to work?
That's your problem.
I'll pay you to come here.
What is this phone concept?
And also, you're walking me through plumbing.
Yeah, just fucking do it.
You do it, man.
But you sign up.
What's why I have your phone number?
Yeah, exactly.
So whole job, this way you got yell reviews.
I never understood doing your own car shit either.
I'll do the minimum.
Like what's the minimum oil? Fuck no, I'm not changing. That's like the minimum. The minimum is like changing
attire. That's the minimum to me. That's easy. Depends on your kind of
tire you're talking about. Well, I'm saying on your standard, on a standard
way. And wear by the way. Have you ever I've had to change a lot of them. I
learned how to change a tire in the fire, basically. In the fire? No, like basically in the throes of having to be fucked.
Oh, I got you.
And having to do it.
I've done one where I was on, like,
we're in off ramp and a highway where like,
that's not a cool place to check.
And I was like in the middle, and I'm like,
whoah, like, you're like, you're like,
you're like, you're going to be behind me.
I'm fucking fucked.
I'm fucking it up with the fucking shit.
Jack, I never had one of those like NASCAR ones
where you can be like,
the tch, that'd be the shit, but you have to be like,
I got it again.
No, that would be the shit.
No, no, no, that's one time where I called
is when it was on the highway.
And there was like, it was in Atlanta
and it just traffic.
I was like, fuck, my legs out on the fucking highway.
No way, dude.
I actually changed it and then I got pulled over
because the cops said you're not supposed to change.
Like that's the legal.
That's why you got to draw.
That's illegal for you changing entire year
because it's so dangerous.
Yeah, it feels dangerous.
No, I know.
I've, you know, I like cars, and then immediately,
if you tell like a real car guy that shit,
and they start talking about like engine displacement,
and like, and then like, oh, I did this,
and then I'm like, yo, man, I just like driving them.
Why don't you just show a fuck out?
That must be so annoying as a car person.
I mean, just to be like, what happens is they go,
well, you're an enthusiast and I am a car.
So, okay, great.
Good for you and all my cars are better than yours.
So, fuck off.
So, yeah, yeah, that's it.
So, you can do that.
So, you can do that.
Yeah.
Be like, cool, now get in your Honda.
Yeah, go fuck yourself.
But I, that's, I mean, was that make us all football enthusiasts?
I guess so, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Cause we don't play football.
Yeah, it's like, what are you talking about, man?
It's nickel coverage, all right.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, great.
And recognize it immediately.
No, it's, it's, it's, it's hilarious when I have a, I know a couple guys who are like, of course I change my own oil.
I'm like, yeah, I just don't even want to learn how to change the oil in my oil.
I want to know none of that.
Yeah, I want to learn how to afford to have someone else do all that stuff.
Yeah, like the only cool, like to me, the fun thing that I, that to learn in a car is when I'm with a pro racer.
And he's giving me like advice on how to drive this track better.
Oh, that would be cool.
That's cool.
And you know what, I'll even up the ante in terms of repairs
and things like that.
I love to go to a, like I've been to a NASCAR garage
where they're fixing shit.
And I'm like, what are they doing?
Like, when they do the top my fucking sonata,
I don't give a, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's cool when it's like,
this was in a wind tunnel and it's like a jet.
It's like they're fixing a jet, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, that's just cool to watch.
I don't wanna learn it though.
I'm not in my T-grad.
The only thing that I did,
which I was certain I would not be able to do,
just because that's how my brain works,
where it's like, here's a mechanical task,
and I'm like, there's no way I'm doing this.
And I was able to do it because it's even easier
than I imagined, was Rentech, this company
that does like tunes for like AMG Mercedes cars.
They sent me these like little like insertable mods,
these little packs,
and they're like, this one will upgrade your software
and open up more horsepower,
and this one's for suspension,
and I was like, oh, I can't do that.
And they're like, no, this level of it you can do on your own,
and I was like, no, I can't.
And they go, no, just let us,
so they sent it to me, and I'm like, man,
just one of the things, I know I'm gonna fuck this up.
And literally you go under your dash
and this thing, there's that you see where it plugs in.
It's like plugging in an outlet.
And then I'm like, now what?
And they're like, now it's done.
Wow.
And I was like, oh, okay, that was really easy.
That's crazy.
And that opened up like 70 horsepower
and like we're able to change the suspension in the car.
Oh, that's like you just plug something in.
And you literally just plug it in.
That's amazing.
And it took 90 seconds.
That's crazy.
I changed a tube one time.
I don't even remember what the tube was,
but I did it from YouTube
because I was in my,
kept annoying my brother-in-law.
He used to fix my cars.
And my car would always be broken, breaking.
Yeah.
And so I didn't want to annoy him.
And I'm like, it's just a tube,
how car could be, I fucked up my car pretty good.
You did it.
Yeah, I remember what the tube did or what I fucked up.
But they were like, who did this tube?
And I was like, I took it into a guy and they're like,
you day, you better get your,
this is really fucked up.
And I was like, oh shit.
Yeah.
It was the tube that makes the coolant go through the the fuck up. The only thing is cool when you, like, my engine overheated basically, oh shit. Yeah, it was the tube that makes the coolant go on. The only thing that's cool when you,
like my engine overheated basically,
is what I ended up with.
When you fuck something up and the experts like,
oh God, and then they check it out and they're like,
oh no, this is hard.
Like I had at my house the electrical panel, right?
So there was some electrical thing at the house,
some talking to the electrician and I go,
this is happening and he goes,
go open the panel and hit this.
So I go, I'm like, oh, the panel won't open.
I'm like, it's like, it's literally stuck.
And he's like, hit the fucking...
He's getting mad at you for real.
Well, he's just like, it's locked, man, just unlock it.
I'm like, no, no, no, it's unlocked.
I'm looking at it.
He's like, okay, so just open the door.
I'm like, it's literally not open. He's like, okay, so just open the door. I'm like, it's literally not open.
He's like, okay, and I go, all right, I'll call you back.
Now I'm like trying to pry this thing open. I'm like, this is insane.
And I call him back. I'm like, no, it's like stuck close.
And he's like, okay, here's what I'll do, man.
I got this thing and then I'll stop by, but like, yeah, like you, you can't open a door.
Like is what he's saying. I'm like, all right, man, and he comes by.
I'm not home, he calls me.
He's like, yeah, that door's all fucked up, man.
It won't open.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's what I told you.
And yeah, yeah.
And he's like, I had to take the whole thing apart
and I was like, right, so I wasn't,
I'm not as dumb as you think, right?
I'm saying, yeah.
I'm not that fucking stupid.
It's not cool when doctors have that moment.
Did you, no.
You said that baseball saved your life? I'm not that funny. It's not cool when doctors have that moment. Did you, no. No.
You said that baseball saved your life? I'm a success with baseball right now.
I love baseball.
Really?
Yeah, I just started to like brand new.
Like maybe right before pandemic I started.
I said something recently on a podcast
and people were like, no, no, you're wrong.
Cause I was saying how baseball's popularity has waned.
It has. Yeah, and then someone was like, I know it's never been more pop, never been growing were like, no, no, you're wrong, because I was saying how baseball's popularity has waned. It has.
Yeah, and then someone was like,
oh, no, it's never been more pop,
it's never been growing from like four.
I mean, there is,
like hope, there are sparks,
there are a lot of young stars,
superstars right now that are coming in
and becoming very popular,
and they're like very electric personalities.
So I can see, I can see how it would grow.
I don't understand,
the reason I never got into it as a kid was because I thought I was boring
But like I think because I've grown to appreciate
boring things or at least the like
intricacies of different things within it. I as I got older I started appreciating those things more. Yeah
I mean like yes, yes, the pitcher battles the you appreciate the details of the game more now
Yes, and then you know also now you're getting cooler players in there.
Like Fernando Tete's Jr. Mookie Betts. These guys are like, oh Trevor Bauer, I love all these like
newer stars coming up, you know, to man.
It's a thing though. You feel like, like I feel like as somebody who I've never been in devout
or, you know, a fan of baseball, but it's obviously one of the major sports.
So you pick up on things, right?
You pick up on, you know,
when there's the home run race,
or like who's like a pop culture,
pop culture kind of moments of baseball,
where I'm like, and I feel like growing up,
even though I was not following the sport,
I could name some stars of baseball, right?
And I feel like today, I know, I mean, you're following the sport, but I feel like as someone
who doesn't, that has completely evaporated.
I feel like it's coming back though.
You do, okay.
I feel like in within five years, you'll definitely know Fernando Tessies Jr.
You'll definitely know Mookie Bats.
You already know Mike Trapp.
I know Mike Trapp.
I think you know Mike Trapp.
I know Mike Trapp.
I think it's maybe the greatest.
That's, it's so crazy how, and this is probably due to the fact that it's not that popular.
Maybe the greatest player ever, Mike Trapp, by the way.
Is that really true?
Yeah, and it's like, by the time he's done, I'm saying.
Yeah.
Definitely the greatest player in current times.
And he's just not a dog shit team, and he has really no personality.
So it just doesn't, no one cares.
No one cares.
And also, I know his name.
Couldn't I DM him in a lineup for this.
That's I think he is a genius for that though.
Like while that's like not great for the popularity
of the sport.
Yeah.
Mike Trout goes the Starbucks here in LA.
No one fucking cares.
No one cares.
He has generational wealth.
Yeah.
I don't what was that contract?
$194 million over 10 years.
What I don't know if you can Google that $394.
Yeah, it's more of my
Trout contract.
Yeah, the like last contract you signed last season is
absolutely bananas and he could just go to Disneyland normally. Do you know what I
mean? 426. Oh, my bad. Okay. Yeah, I was like a hundred and so. Yeah, no, that's
fucking bullshit compared to what he got. Yeah, 426.5 million. Inferno Tetsu, he
signed a deal like that. Mukiookie bats all of them are signing these
Giant contracts now. Did have you seen so did a rod buy into the timber wolves or something? That's what I yeah I thought he was trying to buy him. He's trying to buy the mess. I thought well
He's a clip because he's getting all fucked up with James. You gotta find this. I saw this on on Twitter
They're talking. I believe to a current player. You saw it. He doesn't know who A-Rot is. It's so funny. It's so funny.
I thought there was a clip of A-Rot being like, I bought the what? They're interviewing a
Timberwolf player. No, I didn't buy a baseball team buddy. He bought the... He tried to buy the
Mets. He ended up buying the Timberwolves. The Timberwolves. The Cohen guy brought the Mets.
And they ask a player. Hey, what do you think of a Ra he's like who yeah?
Yes, we want to watch it. Yeah, it's it's so fucking fantastic. I saw it on Twitter
basketball players are in their own
Galaxy yeah, and I love that about them and they're like you know one of these like and he actually goes I don't know that is
a Rob I mean like that's one where I'm gonna be like, what?
But that they, I mean, that's such a common name
where he'd be like, do you think maybe he just played a game
and they were like, Alex Rod, maybe they didn't call him A-Rod.
Maybe they said Alex Rod.
Well, he said A-Rod and the guy's like, who?
Oh, okay, I'll try to read that.
He's like, who, huh?
It's like, you know, I think it's like some effect
on the team and he's like, I don't know that is me. And he like, is that, you know, I think it's like some effect on the team
and he's like, I don't know that is me.
And he's like, okay, like moving on.
They just, this is it, right?
Yeah, let me get a press conference question.
It was just like a,
I saw the headliner.
Presser with,
yeah, who's the player?
Is that Anthony,
Anthony Townsend?
No, that's not that.
Anthony Edwards, yes, yes,
he has goose from Top Gun.
Yeah, and he's like, dude, this is fantastic. Make it big.
Yeah, he's like getting his whole give me a second. The sole player. And I'm just gonna guess that the
reporter who asked the question is a coward and was just like, okay, and kept going. It wasn't like,
you don't know who A-Rot is. Yeah, I know. Follow. Yes, yes, yes. He absolutely moved on. He absolutely moved on. And Anthony was just like,
I mean, he was just like playing with hair and stuff.
He's like, who?
I mean, that is...
That's what I mean, like, how much of it is them not knowing,
not even listening to what they're saying.
But also, did you see the one guy?
I forget what he tweeted.
God, I can't even remember who these two people,
I talked about it on my show, but
It was Ben Simmons from the 76ers. Uh-huh. He had the color commentator from the wizards tweeted out like most overrated point guard
Ever or something like that and he was like
Asked about it and he goes I'm not gonna pay attention to what some five five dork says or whatever
And so like we googled who this guy was, you're this guy you're like,
yeah, don't talk shit about Ben Simmons, man.
Like, yeah, I'm not gonna tweet that.
And if I do, I'd be like, of course, I'm not a net,
like I would have a million disclaimers following it.
But this is this kind of shit,
like they don't give a fuck about any of these reporters,
is my point.
Let's chat with you since the news this weekend
that Alex Rodriguez was getting ready to buy in as an owner here.
Do you have any thoughts about him or are you an A-Rod fan at all growing up or anything like that?
What do you think about what he might bring to the team?
A fan, who are you?
Who are you?
Baseball player, Oxford, Rodriguez?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if he's going to be the owner, but I don't know about this.
Did he say, I know he's finna be the owner?
Yeah.
I love that shit.
Yeah, that guy's funny as fuck.
Yeah, that was great.
Oh, like a fan.
A fan, what you know what?
He's a fan of money.
Of a business guy.
Yeah, I like what part of the business guy.
That is hilarious.
Shit.
Yeah, but some people don't know about baseball.
I mean, this, but I'm saying, it's like 20 something years old.
But still, I played like, yeah, but what I'm saying is, as far as you're talking about
from the sport, impact, name, culture, like a row, it's up there, man.
But here's the thing you have to remember with people of even 10 years younger than me
now, they grew up in a time where they don't have passive
consuming of pop culture.
We're like, we had 17 channels or whatever,
you know what I mean?
There wasn't the internet.
So yeah, we saw, we watched Sports Center,
so you'd see names, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa,
the whole thing, you know, like, was on Sports Center.
Kids know, just watch whatever the fuck they wanna watch.
So they're in their bubble.
So like, that guy was in a basketball the whole time.
There's no reason he'd get exposed.
Just true.
And it's very in any place.
And I have no real understanding.
Like all I remember about A. Rodas, of course,
the name, like the stature at the time,
he had like the most massive con.
Like people were like this.
That was a thing I raised.
He went from the mirror and then from my baseball fan friends saying that like he
effort little effort little Jesus Christ effort little
sleigh.
Yeah, yeah, I can't say it effortlessly.
There you go.
Yeah, that is good at baseball like without trying the guy is dominant.
Yeah, I mean, I remember the cheating thing of course.
Oh, yeah, that too. Yeah, yeah.
My bad.
But it's amazing how that's just all been washed away for him, whereas like, poor Pete Rose,
put him in the hall of fame for Christch.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
He was God for gambling, though.
Everyone, you don't like gambling, either.
Well, it's not that I don't like it.
It's just, there are things in life, the vices that you get a rush from.
Right, you get a catch too.
And if you don't get a rush from it, you're just like, why am I even gonna pretend to care?
Like, I don't get the juice from it.
I agree with you.
I mean, we've been to Vegas or Atlantic City
or whatever, the tables, like the casinos, nothing.
I love sports gambling though.
But to such a minor extent, whereas I look at it,
I don't even know if, like, I'm not gonna say I look at it, I don't even know if,
like, I'm not going to say I look at it, like people look at the stock market, but I put,
like, I put so much money in the beginning and I've never gone below that. And sure, it's
like for baby shit money. But it's like fun and it keeps me interested in shit that I normally,
that's even why I got into baseball because I was sick of hockey because the Buffalo Sabers suck so fucking bad.
And it's just hate the NHL.
Talk about the worst run league in the history of sports.
NHL hands down.
Why is it the worst run league?
It's just you talk about like you were saying the waning fan base of major league baseball.
NHL might as well not even be an American sport.
It's so unpopular.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Even compared to baseball.
And it seems like they don't care.
They don't do anything to change that, that's for sure.
Because it's just like Canadians,
Eastern Europeans, Russians,
that's it.
And people from Buffalo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or like, you know, border town.
Detroit, loves it.
Yeah, so it's Pittsburgh, you know,
I guess it's not a border town, but they love it.
But you know, it's the shittiest-run league easily.
I wish I was more into the NBA.
I'm not.
But so I...
Hockey's one of the things too, like, I'm not a big hockey fan, but I will say that I
would break down the major sports into, like, what you love to watch on TV and what the
experiences like live.
Yes.
Personally, that never been like a big hockey fan.
I've been in my life to let's say six NHL games, always a blast.
Always a blast.
It's always fun with 10 games.
It's fast paced.
There's hitting, there's fighting.
It's a fun event to attend.
Conversely, NFL, I grew up big NFL fan.
Don't enjoy going to the games.
Yeah. I don't find the experience as fun as watching it on
I don't enjoy going to the football games to watch football. Yeah, say that. Yeah, I go to the game for entirely a party
It's a party. Yeah, it's exactly I
Baseball I and this is a unique thing for me
Most sporting events for me are fruitless in terms of watching the event. Yeah
Most sporting events for me are fruitless in terms of watching the event. What with the small balls used or pucks or what have you.
Oh right.
So, totally forgot about that.
So most of it I go for the party.
Baseball I do enjoy though.
That's another one.
I'm not a baseball fan, but I've gone to a few major league games.
It's really fun.
Yeah, exactly.
The games are fun to attend.
You get the haptog, you get the this, that, the other thing.
NBA. To talk shit to the guy in the outfield. It is really fun to attend you get the hot dog you get to this that the other thing NBA Talk shit to the guy in the outfield is really fun to attend
I've only been guess what I've only been to one NBA game and I got to sit in the box at the staple center
It was the shit the shit it was yeah legit and it was I didn't get to see LeBron
But I saw
Rondo when he played for the Laker still and I was just like this is NBA they have it dude that it's yeah
It's a different party though.
It's not the kind of party that was maybe for me though,
I don't think.
Well, the NFL is savagery party.
Like, I've been in the stands and been like, man,
this is, this is mayhem, but the NBA is like,
a little more sophisticated party.
Exactly.
My NBA experience was like,
felt like going to a nightclub that I was underdressed at.
Yeah, that's right.
And people, that's one of the things you notice,
it's like, you're like,
people are dressed the fuck up here.
Shoot on.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, in a really dressed up, man.
It was wild.
And it's like,
I felt like a fraud at that.
So I don't know if I could ever fit into that world,
necessarily.
But man,
I love going to a fucking tailgate for a football game.
And I don't think baseball tailgates as much,
but I think they should.
Let's get more into it.
Tailgates are the best.
Tailgates a good time.
College football, I've had fun attending
more than NFL games.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
Do you ever get some action in that football game?
What do you mean, like batting action?
No, like hook up with a chick.
Uh, I went to the egg bowl in 2003, but I didn't I fucked her in a different city
But you didn't fuck in the like stadium. No, no, no, that's my dream really. I want to get blown at like a baseball game or something
You know like the baseball games are like Tuesday at like 11 a.m. Mm-hmm, and there's only like I don't know nobody's there
It's kind of like it is now with you. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get up in the splinters and just be like
It happens and I can just watch the game, you know, yeah
You'll definitely be on sports center, dude. They have so much b-roll of dudes getting blown in baseball stadium
Really? But they never air them. It's always like, you know, because one camera guy will catch it and they'll put it on.
It'll be on like, you know, how they got back there,
like different screens.
Sure.
So like, though, they're all like laughing at it
in the booth and they're like,
all right, Jerry's pitching.
So why don't you put the camera back on the mound,
but, you know, because it's fine,
but they'll find one.
There's ones on YouTube you can find, I'm sure.
But that's what you want though.
That's your bucket list.
I love that.
Like, as a public blow, getting blown
while looking at something beautiful. Like a baseball game.
Maybe, maybe, for me, because looking at something beautiful is already a treat,
but getting blown and doing it.
Yeah.
Like, I got one on the hills, like, looking at the LA skyline, I felt like, I felt like
the God of LA.
That's cool.
That's cool.
Up on the hill, like seeing the sunset, that kind of thing.
It was at night, but yes, it was dark thankfully, but a sunset would have been cool.
What's that?
Some b-roll?
That's a...
If you Google, there's a Buffalo Bill.
There's somebody down there, I can't even see that.
Google Buffalo Bill's finger.
There's some fame.
Everyone's fucking in the Bill Stadium.
That's what I love about it.
Two teachers got caught
You want to do finger blasting probably
Google image there it is right there. I think I'm on the on the left on the top
But doon but doon is that it? Yeah, he's in there. Yeah, he's digging deep. Yeah, there was two teachers who got caught
Fucking in a bathroom. They were cheating on their spouses who were both at the game.
Really? Yeah.
There was a woman who notoriously blew a guy in the parking lot for a
Kiko Alangelo's jersey.
That's on.
Wow.
Kiko Alangelo played for us for like a year.
We traded him for Lushama.
Question.
Was it him?
Was he the one getting blown?
No.
That was amazing.
It was just some shrub.
You know, probably not even authentic Kiko
along. It was like one you could buy it like trench or some shit.
I would have loved to hear that exchange.
Give me that jersey.
I mean, I think there's a bit of that.
Yeah, I wish I heard the lead up to it, but there's definitely a video of it where they're
just blowing the guy between two cars.
Nice.
Everyone was capturing that.
Yeah, so the bills tailgates, I mean, people get down.
But I want like more of the majesty of a baseball game
in the stands kind of thing, you know?
Not just savages or just finger and butts, like.
Yeah, I prefer the mountaintop blowjob, I think,
that that one was cool too.
You know what, I want, what else my fantasy experience
would be a blowjob while I'm looking at a tornado?
Really, a little bit of fear.
Well, it's in the distance, you know, like on the planes.
I thought you meant as coming towards you.
Like, just get it out.
Not like Twister Shaker where she's like,
maybe we should leave, but I'm like,
first you're stuck in the door, you're gonna die,
we're gonna die, just suck it.
We can't go to the crawl space until you make me come.
So, I wanna see it like in the distance, you know?
Yeah.
No, that's pretty cool.
Yeah, that'd be fun.
It's another beautiful thing to see.
Yeah, you know, even though it's probably killing a village or whatever, it's somewhere, but it's like, hey, you came. Yeah, that'd be fun. It's another beautiful thing to see. Yeah, you know, even though it's probably killing a village
or whatever else, somewhere, but it's like,
hey, you came.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's all that important.
Yeah, you know.
What's your YouTube page?
Oh, my YouTube page, it doesn't have URL as of this date
because you have to wait 30 days to make a URL.
Oh, really? So I mean, at the time of this airing, it days to make a URL. Oh, really?
So at the time of this airing, it will have its own URL.
Okay.
But unfortunately, at the moment, it doesn't.
I'm imagining it will be the Josh Potter show,
it will be the URL provided.
It's available, I hope it's.
Yeah.
And if you check the description on this video,
you know,
and all of my previous episodes from the past month
and a half on the Your Moms house
channel as well, it still comes out every Tuesday.
It's just on a different channel now.
Yeah, it's just on a different channel.
And like I said, if you check the description on this episode, we will have it linked
to your page.
And it's wherever, you know, the places I mentioned the buy tickets and all that, it's
everywhere.
And it takes one little click and it's so insignificant to your life, but it means a great deal to mine
So please do it. Thank you. Yeah, please rate review and subscribe on the iTunes and all that
Yes, that's lovely. Thank you for doing subscribe on YouTube again
You'll be and you'll continue to put it out on Tuesdays. Yes. I'm not going to change that at all
That's a good idea. Yeah, I'm not I'm just gonna keep
Moe'sying on you know, there will good idea. Yeah, I'm just going to keep moseying on.
You know, there will be other changes obviously, but we will continue to stay as consistent
as possible in regards to that at least when it comes out.
For the time being, you're definitely staying in Los Angeles.
Yeah, I go back and forth, dude.
Like a part of me is like, do I want to leave?
And then a part of me is like, this place blows. Yeah. Like, I just, without comedy, this place is worthless to me.
I came here to do comedy strictly, purely.
And when it's not here, it's like, why do I live here?
So I don't know as it comes back, if my mind will change,
or if I move, I'm still thinking,
I don't know where I would like,
but I mean, I gotta get out of my fucking apartment.
So even if that's in Los Angeles,
my life will be monumentally better.
Just a different scenery or different.
Just without others fucking people, I don't know.
Do you know what I mean?
If you thought about adding, by the way,
just because I, so many people do it,
like a Patreon to what you do.
Yes, I actually have, I have a couple ideas for that,
and I'm just trying to get this transition.
Yeah.
Sturdy, And then we'll go
from there as far as that, but yes, that has been like bonus episode or something. Yes, I have
like two show ideas for a two like separate show ideas for a patreon. So I'm looking to do that.
But I don't want to say what they are because then I have to like follow through with it. But
they are up there in the old noggin. And once this is this is a you know underway and I can stop thinking about
The transition so much I can focus on doing those things as well. Now are you actually thinking about because I know there's a lot of cool cities
And it's kind are you thinking about Denver?
No, I was joking, but I I am I mean like I will consider it
I have no
Attachments to anyone. I was even like do I just go back to fucking Buffalo at some point?
But I don't want to do that either.
But like, I feel like I could just, at this point,
like if the ball keeps rolling, I could live wherever I want.
As long as there's like a place to get on stage,
I'll be fine with that, you know?
Yeah, and you're touring and you're selling tickets.
Yeah, but I mean, I like to have,
even if it's a shit hole open, like,
I need a place where I can like,
if I write something, I can go up there
in a few hours and say it.
And say it, yeah.
I don't care what it is.
And pre-pandemic, you had the places here.
Yeah, probably, I mean, I could get up seven times a night
here if I wanted to, even if it was in front
of seven other comics, at least I got to say something
out loud that I wrote that day,
and been like, okay, I'm on to something or whatever.
It was the first part of the process of anything.
And it was just something that made me feel better.
I mean, people do maybe not necessarily like, I compared to working out even though I
know nothing about working out, but you do your diligence, you're doing your low weight
just you're getting your reps in just to keep shit going, I guess or whatever, right?
So I mean, that's the way I thought about those things.
And without them, it was like, what am I living here for?
Yeah, I mean, I've had similar thoughts, man.
I go like, I don't know, it's so strange.
I was like, the weather, I'm like, who gives,
I lived in Buffalo, I didn't give a fuck about the weather.
You love the cold.
I love the guy, I hate the weather here.
Yeah, that's the, like, that was one of the things
that I was like, the nervous about.
You were upset about, you know, I don't know, I can deal with the shit, man. Like you're like the only here. Yeah, that's the, like, that was one of the things that I was like, nervous about here. And you were upset about, you know,
I don't know if I can deal with the shit, man.
Like you're like the only guy,
no, it comes to Southern California.
You're like, it's up with this weather though, dude.
I moved here like mid-September,
and I remember I texted you in October,
I'm like, this I'd ever get to like 50s.
Yeah, it was.
This is just crazy hot.
Like there are a couple scary nights where it does.
In February.
I couldn't sleep for the first three weeks I lived here,
and I had an air conditioner.
It was wild.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, it was the worst.
No, I've been with you in cold places where you have,
I mean, people are in coats with scarves and hats and gloves
and Josh is in a hoodie and he's like, I'm fine.
I remember us walking out of an airport
like in Jersey or something like that.
And you had like a winter coat out at a t-shirt.
Yeah.
And out you're like, aren't you freezing?
I'm like, it's sunny out.
Yeah.
Yeah, this feels good to me.
It did feel good, especially airports.
Like when I get, I mean, I've been with you,
I think a couple of times where I'm sitting and I'm like,
is this hot in here?
It's fucking hot.
Yeah, yeah, you asked that a lot.
And I get like, God, it's hot in here.
And I get, I'm getting to the point where It's fucking hot. Yeah, yeah, you ask that. And I get like, god, it's hot in here. And I get on, I'm getting to the point
where my blood's boiling.
Yeah, yeah, we also, we were in a fun,
and in airport once, I'm sweating, man.
I'm sweat dripping down my back
and I'm like, you're the only guy
who's running the sweating.
Like, it's not hot at all.
I do a change.
I was like, I'm going to put a D shirt on.
I can't fucking.
God.
I mean, it really,
because I think it's the amount of time you lived in cold.
I lived in pretty cold places
for the first 13 years of my life.
And man, I guess moving at that age to Florida,
I was like you arriving.
I remember we moved, it was November,
and we moved from Milwaukee to Florida, right?
To Verbe. And in November in Milwaukee, it's already,
it's fucking cold, man.
I don't remember the temperature, but it's cold.
So when I got to Florida, it was like 58,
and all the kids were in hoodies and jackets
because they're Floridians, you know?
And so I walked into school and a t-shirt,
and they're like, this guy's a psycho.
And they were like, are you cold?
And I was like, cold bro, I just,
where I left today it was three.
Yeah. Like today it's 58.
I'm, I'm hot.
We used to go to Disney World on vacation,
like Christmas time.
Yeah. And we'd be in like bathing suits
and like I wouldn't wear a shirt around it.
People would be like, are you from the North, huh?
You know what I mean?
Like yeah. But the funny thing was,
I thought that would be how I was.
And like a year, a year or so later,
I had basically converted.
I'm never going to continue.
No, it's obvious at this point.
Have you, I mean, you've been in some hotel rooms,
I'll be like, what's up, welcome.
And you're like, I can see my breath in here.
Oh, man.
You're the only guy I know who like,
yeah, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can,
you can go into like, 58.
Yeah, I think it doesn't go to the 50s,
I want a different hotel.
Like that's, I've checked out
the hotel that you don't go lower than 60s.
You did have one where you go,
where you told me you're like,
I actually had to turn it up.
Cause it throws the room.
I left it on.
You left it on.
Like Max and as low as it can go,
and we went and did like a show
and then had maybe two shows.
I did not, I came back there was like frost on the windows.
I was like, oh, Jesus, I had to turn it up a little bit.
Turn it up.
But there's nothing like sleeping in a cold room.
Oh, it's the best.
It's the best, man.
It's the best.
I could sleep in the Arctic.
Yeah.
You know?
If you have a cold ass room and a blanket,
like, so you have the blanket, but the air is cold.
Yeah.
I can hibernate, man.
10 hours.
Wrap me up, baby.
Wrap me the fuck up.
I fucking love it.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I don't know where I'm going to move,
but somewhere, God willing, you know.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
I'm, I'm, I'm, should I go to the Austin?
I don't know.
Everyone's going there.
I mean, you've seen it.
I haven't been yet.
I think it's going to pop off, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, everyone, I mean, of course it's going to pop off. So, maybe I should just go. And it, I haven't been yet. I think it's gonna pop off, dude. Yeah, I mean, of course it's gonna pop off.
So, maybe I should just go ahead.
And it's popping off like,
Dude, I, I won't lie to you.
I've been looking at rents down there.
Yeah.
And it's making me salivate.
Really?
It's crazy how I could pay the same amount I pay here
and live like an adult,
as opposed to living like a fucking college guy
where I'm living with other people, you know what I mean?
I know two guys that just showed me their places
they got there where I was like, you what?
And you know how much money they make?
Yeah, I'm like, how are, how is this possible?
Yeah, and they're, yeah, it's impressive.
But it's not just, it is not just comedy,
because I think comedy's gonna explode there.
I think that city is going to be just...
Well, yeah.
Just, no, but I mean like in the best way.
I feel like it's been, like, every time I've gone there,
it's cranes and buildings are propping up,
so it's like always flying.
So maybe, you know, it's not off the table at all.
I don't know, is the answer.
Yeah. To a lot of questions. Have you watched this is a robbery?
Yeah, what's that? The new docus series, like many series on Netflix, that follows or tells the
story of the greatest art heist of all time. No. Yeah. So this happened in 1990 in Boston.
I think it was the, yeah.
The Isabella Stewart Gardner heist,
at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum,
and it was on St. Paddy's Day.
How fucking, that's, I mean, it's seeing,
that feels like a movie, right?
Like St. Paddy's Day, everyone's over here.
Co-op turned 1990.
And I don't remember it from childhood.
But by the time this comes out, I will have finished it,
but I was, I'm a few episodes in and like, man,
I don't know what it is about robberies like that.
We're like, I so want to be involved, you know?
Yeah.
Like to see if I could do one, especially like a high stakes thing.
Like the one of the cops says,
he's like, this isn't like going into someone's house
and taking a TV.
He's like, these are fucking Rembrandt's
and the fucking museum, man.
This is like some high level shit.
It's like, sure, you like blow the dust
and it shows the laser beams and all that
and you have to like, fucking get through it.
Like, yeah, I've made it Jones and all that.
I mean, the funny thing is when you start watching
the series and this is pointed out to you,
you realize that, you know, 2021,
you couldn't pull off the shirt.
That always makes me sad when I see that.
I know, same thing with serial killers.
You're like, there's no good ones anymore.
Yeah, because they fucked it all up for us.
No, all this fucking A and KNA and cameras everywhere.
Yeah, but like, yeah.
Everyone wants to, I think everyone gets a little bit,
it's titillating to hear about a bank robbery.
Yeah.
A museum robbery feels like, I mean, it doesn't,
it feels like a fucking movie.
It doesn't feel like a movie.
Especially for art, because you're like,
who gives a fuck about art?
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, like, it seems like they're robbing something dumb.
Well, but it's worth a bazillion dollars.
The crazy thing about art too is like you have this
seascape by Rembrandt and you know,
it's valued at let's say 80 million dollars or something.
You're like, you know, but like it's missing.
Everyone knows about it.
Who the fuck can you sell this to?
Yeah, he's got to be like in us.
Like it, the only way.
Well, dark web, not a dark web, but like, you know,
the guy who runs Iran probably
will be here. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like you stole it. Like El Chapo's, like,
go give me that Rembrandt.
Right, right.
That's what you find out.
That shit is dope.
If it was like a cartel guy, he's like,
are you looking for that shit?
It's right here, man.
Of course.
And you know, they have those, they're like,
this is the original, that's such a,
I mean Saddam Hussein had like,
remember that we got another palaces and he had like all kinds of crazy shit like that? Stole stuff? Yeah, I mean, we'll just like, this is the original, that's such a, I mean, Saddam Hussein had like, remember that we got another palaces
and he had like all kinds of crazy shit like that?
Stolen stuff?
Yeah, I mean, we'll just like,
what's a Saddam Hussein had?
Like, I wish I had an inventory list,
but it's got to be.
It's got to be something.
There's so much fun shit.
Yeah, I mean, I remember like I'm going in there
and like, being like, holy fuck,
at all this shit inside there.
There's a museum, where is that museum?
Displaced bizarre belongings of Saddam Hussein.
Where?
A decade after Saddam Hussein's capture
and seven years since his execution,
his legacy in the United States
is relegated to a random display of memorabilia.
Scroll down.
Like if he was still alive, he'd be like,
I have the Zech's Niter cut of Justice League.
Like he would have had that like,
for sure.
You know, before it came out.
Yeah. Keep scrolling. He was into that kind of shit. Go back a little bit. I have
the 1989 Michael Keaton Batman suits. You know, stuff like that. He's one of the bizarre
say, let's say, while the deposed dictator was known for his eye, he's obscure oddities.
Turn turning up in lesser known museums that are giving Americans a personal insight into one of history's most notorious despots.
It's one of those bizarre spoils of war, the curator of the Old Court House Museum in Vicksburg, Mississippi said.
I got to make a trip.
It said of Sodom's porcelain sink being ready for display in the coming weeks.
Oh, that's dumb. Don't trust me about this.
Yeah. Well said that the sink was liberated from one of his homes in 2003 donated a few weeks ago
by a group of American soldiers. No, no, no, no, there is so much more. Yeah. Can you not find like
there was like what valuable stuff he had? Like, can you not do a Google search of that?
I'm going to do one in mine to watch. Let's race each other. Oh, well, I'm betting on you.
Watch, let's race each other. Oh, well, I'm betting on you.
I mean, it'll be fucking 2025 before he comes up with it.
I just, I'm obsessed with that kind of shit.
Like, I want to know what porn they confiscated from El Salvador Bin Laden.
Yeah, that was always interesting too.
Like, who was, who was ladies?
Who was the intro?
If it was, do we have this in case?
It was like, only cream pies.
He's like, that's what I'm into.
What if he had like a specific woman where he was like, you know. He's like, that's what I meant to. What if he had like a specific woman
where he was like, you know, he's like,
Miyamoto really does it for me
and like she got to live knowing them.
Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.
You know what I mean?
It'd been a lot and jerked off to her.
Yeah.
Spoils of war.
That's what you Google.
Saddam Hussein's spoils of war.
I'm trying.
You're terrible.
I know.
I am getting better though.
Just a little bit better. Tensey bit. The're terrible. I know. I am getting better though. Just a little bit better.
Tancy bit.
The tinsiest bit.
But I know you have just insane, oh wait, this is, oh here's one.
It's still up there.
I was googling something myself.
I just might go to show that I'm no better than Nadav, but I thought this had top weird possessions,
they found it was just top.
It was like at one of these top 10 lists
about Saddam Hussein.
Fact number four, he wiped out an entire civilization.
That followed.
That followed.
Like the nerve gas.
Yeah, that followed by the way,
the fact that they didn't have that number one.
The number one was he penned a best-selling romance novel.
What?
Well, I mean, it was best-selling in fucking, right?
Oh, correct, yeah.
It wasn't like it was over here,
and then he's doing like, you know, Regis and Kelly.
Like, this is my new book.
Did, is there not a list of like art that he owned?
Like, he definitely had movies and stuff like that.
I remember them finding like,
Reels, Cinema Reels,
and like he was into Western called, like they all are.
That's so funny, the funniest part about it to me
is like every dictator even up to Stalin,
like Stalin like Western films.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Kim Jong-un loves American cinema.
Yeah, it's like, so there's, I mean,
why don't, I don't know, we act like that's crazy,
but it's really not crazy at all.
This is good.
What's that?
What's that?
This is good.
Took you 15 minutes, but this is good.
Let's see.
Can you make that bigger?
Looted and Quiddies sees the United States return.
Now there we go.
Oh, well, let's see.
Can you scroll down a little?
Yeah, we have to see the list.
Is that a, is that a like a bust of something?
I'm not sure here. Let's see. These are objects
looted from Saddam Hussein's palaces in the aftermath of the American invasion
will be repatriated to. We're talking about a broad, yeah, I guess we
have well, looting. We don't tolerate looting. It doesn't say what, what it was.
It's a little hard to find. They stole all kinds of stuff. They even stole cash.
I remember there was like boxes of cash
and shit like that and like gold kuga rounds
and stuff like that in there.
People were like jacking those
and be like this is a gold from to domes palace.
So now there's like a big,
I don't know loss.
I mean, who's suing the United States for that?
I don't know.
Yeah.
But like the, maybe there was some guilty conscious
on our part or something
and we had to give it back
whatever hmm Hmm
Isn't it crazy that like the insurrection on the Capitol looked like the way that they were like doing that to the palaces in Iraq
I was like oh they're gonna topple down some statues and shit. Yeah, they think yeah, that exactly
Yeah, look just like that. What are you putting what's this?
I'm just still Google just you you know what? Just stop you got it
Didn't work out. Yeah
What other cool dictators had fun shit?
Well, they all just fucking take what they want. I mean you can imagine what is actually
What is in like we don't even know but Kim Jong-un's like favorite shit.
Cause we know he likes movies and the NBA.
Oh, it's got so much like NBA.
I remember it being a wild man.
You know what Jordan's like,
slip them a jacket or something.
Like sat in jacket or something like,
bulls jerseys, some game warrants.
You think he's got a full kit like that guy in the,
probably.
He wears it around everyone's like,
you look great.
Like they have to tell him.
Oh yeah, they have to tell me like,
you look like, do you play in the NBA? I wonder, can you look up. Like, they have to tell him. Oh, yeah, they have to tell me like, you look like, you play in the NBA?
I wonder, can you look up Kim Jong Un's basketball stats?
Because I'm sure it's like 19 dunks in this last game.
The first time you ever played a score to 100 points.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They had that about his dad about Kim Jong Un's golf game.
Like, like, 99 hole in ones.
Nine hole in ones.
Yeah.
Like an impossible score.
Like, a score of like, a 12 on 18 holes over what he was just like over the game
and meet like he just he conquered it immediately. Yeah, he's an expert at everything. He doesn't shit like
any. Yeah, that was another thing. That's cool. So now that any doesn't should I go well, I guess it's
not that hard. Kim Jong Il probably didn't shit either. Yeah, he had a lot more stresses. What's
that said? This is a craziest outrageous Kim Jong Il facts and rumors. Well, they're not facts, none of them are facts.
Yeah, well, they are there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tushae.
Tushae.
This trademark haircut is reportedly one of 28 approved cuts
for men in North Korea.
28.
And even has a name, it's called ambitious.
It was reportedly a shout out to his grandfather,
Kim Il Sung.
No, that's a fucking flex.
Yeah, that's a big flex. He's got like the South Korean Rachel.
Look at this, even Kim's love life is shrouded in mystery.
He reportedly married 23 year old former cheerleader.
Cheerleader, damn.
There?
Where?
He was reportedly romantically involved
with pop star Hyun Sung Wool, whose hit songs included,
I love Pyongyang.
Uh, apparently a quick way to the dictators are.
Well, I'm sure it doesn't matter if she's on border or not.
Yeah, it's a big one.
I mean, he's like, I'm gonna date the biggest pop star
in the country.
What she can say, no.
No, of course.
In 2020, he ordered all pet dogs to be confiscated
in the capital of Pyongyang saying that
pooches represented Western decadence,
but their owners feared their fightos
were really just headed for someone's dinner table
amid a food crisis.
Yeah, that's what it was.
But they don't fucking, I love how they,
they just tell you that and they don't tell you like,
what happened?
Did you like how they cutesy it up by the way?
They were like,
they were like,
fight locals were worried,
fighto would end up on their dinner table.
Oh, that is, that is bad.
That's what happened.
There's such a food shortage that they rounded up the dogs
and murdered them and fed them to the people. They probably he probably took the dogs
like who gave us their dogs and they're like I did and he's like kill that person first.
Like make sure you kill the people that had dogs. So him and his dad, uh, scroll down.
That light stop. Uh, so Kim, Kim Jong Il also had like a real, real fun time in the palace with chicks, with
zoos, with food.
It was a movie that stuff was made about.
Yeah, exactly.
Kim reportedly keeps a pleasure squad of girls as young as 13, who are sometimes plucked
from classrooms and undergo a battery of tests to confirm their virgins.
In 2016, Alonnie spent 3.5 million on lingerie
and costumes for his harem,
while also spending lavishly on booze and fine foods,
and he's especially fond of cheese.
He looks like he's fond of cheese.
Yeah, yeah.
And he loves cognac, wine, essential,
a mental, what is that?
A mental cheese?
That's, I've heard of that in fancy restaurants.
His gorging has him tipping the scales
at roughly 300 pounds.
God damn.
Ah, herums are cool, but keep them above 18, huh?
Yeah.
Keep them make them queens above 18.
Yeah, I'm all about herums,
but above 18 only, sir.
Of course.
It's like, I didn't, El Chapo do that too.
Let's be here.
We'll see, dipping down below the, yeah. I don't know, is that something out of like I've gotten all the chicks and I want to do something wild
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I was trying to think like who the chillest guy would hang out with would be and probably be said down
You think so. Yeah out of all of them he probably because I don't think that's can you see if Saddam was a pedophile
Probably wasn't right. I'm gonna hope not. He had like 900 sons remember they made a movie about all them
Saddam's I don't know man. They were fucking you think Hunter Biden's doing blowing shit
I mean that's the dumb kids see I had a plan to portray Saddam as a pedophile this oh my god
We also they doing that shit, you know what I mean?
That's fucking nuts. They were like maybe if we make him a pedophile, this is. Oh my God. That's what else are they doing that shit too? You know what I mean? That's fucking nuts.
They're like, maybe if we make them a pedophile, they'll care.
God damn.
Yeah, I don't know why.
I mean, I do think there's something of being a dictator
like that and they're just like,
well, what else is there?
Because like, I have the palace and the,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
All the food and booze I want.
Yeah.
Right.
Aside from the gas and the genocide part,
I bet you said I'm out of all of them.
Would have been the most funded.
The funny thing about partying with something like that or Kim Jong-un is that you might
be like, oh, this is fun.
And then part of your mind would be like, what if he just feels like killing me right now?
No, I do that.
Yeah, but that's the same thing with any, it's just a, that's every social interaction though.
I guess.
You know what I mean?
Like, sure they're not gonna murder you,
but you're hoping everyone likes you.
Yeah.
But knowing they could kill you,
and knowing that they kinda,
they're like, you're the best man.
What if they do that, you're like,
God, this is awesome.
You know what I'd say?
That means more than anybody else doing it.
Yeah, sure, sure.
If they're like, I'm so glad I have you in my life.
You're like, thanks man, this is weird.
This is, you kill a whole collection of human beings
and I'm chill with you.
And then someone's like,
I just wanna see if I can do this.
And he has like a letter envelope opening thing
and he's like,
he's gonna be your neck.
And you're like,
that's how it would happen.
But I would at least go like,
thanks for surprising.
You did it from the right,
so I didn't see it coming.
Yeah.
This was a lot of fun, man.
Thank you for coming.
Thanks for having me.
So the Josh Potter show will continue on Josh's YouTube
channel.
Check the description of this video.
Of course, follow him on social media,
see him on the road.
He's got dates coming up, which we talked about.
And you can follow him on Twitter or Instagram,
which was at J.
Oh, at Josh underscore Potter.
And the Twitter is at J underscore Potter.
They're different, but some asshole took one of each
on the other side.
So here we are.
Here we are.
But the show, the live shows have been so fun
getting back doing those.
So please come out and we'll rage.
There you go.
All right, thanks buddy.
Thank you.
See you next week. Bert Tom, Simon Bert, one goes top to swap the other, wears a shirt.
Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine.
There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean.
Here's what we call, two bears one cake.
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