2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Seducing Taylor Swift | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 204

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom and Bert kick off the episode with their recent interactions with musicians. Bert saw Metallica and Tom's been talking with Oliver Anthony. They go on to talk about some of the biggest names in music: Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and James Hetfield. Bert has a revelation about donating to GoFundMe. Tom and Bert switch lanes into a little sports talk, then baller foods. They wrap up the episode with a huge announcement.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

This week on two bears one cave. It's awesome because I can dump loads in it without any worry and anyone I'm saying not just her Baby hurt people hurt people put that on a shirt Hey, welcome to the program. Two bears won cave. I'm Tom. He's Bert. You went to Metallica last night. Fucking four men played for 70,000 people as if it was in their backyard.

Really? Four men. Four fucking men. They reposted that. I was high as four. You rep fucking men. They reposted that. I was high as four. They reposted. They reposted me three times. Metallica reposted me three times.

Dude, I picked up Isla for school. This is a badass video. Have you seen it? Have you seen my stories yesterday? I picked Ida to go take Isla school and go get a coffee in the morning. I'm a pretty present to have these days. It's amazing.

George, I got fucked. had these days. It's amazing. George got fucked. I wonder why we had so many problems with shoes in high school. But I'm a pretty present dad. So I go in the morning and get Isla coffee. What's her coffee drink? Is it crazy? Dirty matcha. Dirty matcha. It's a matcha with a shot of espresso in it. Okay. And so I get I like coffee. I get Leanne or coffee. We have Stacy for something that's burning

and was spending the night. I got her coffee. I then, I then we're getting ready for Metallica. It's so cool to have a plan. That's what I mean. I'm being dead serious when I say, if you, if you're a fan of ours, I'm jealous because I don't get that much shit in life. Yeah, but it's so fun to know,

we're coming in town, Metallica is coming in town, her goose is coming in town, her son bands coming in town, and that your thing is that night, that you got all day to think about it. Yeah, yeah. What you're gonna do, like I actually, I put a fucking plan in, I was like, okay, I want to bring weed in, right? I wanna bring a vape pen in, so I brought my joke book, I put my weed inside my vape pen inside my joke book, as if I'm gonna take notes. And then I brought my joints, but I put the joints,

Tom, inside my hat, like inside the band. And so like I was all planned out, it was fucking awesome, no booze. Were your seats, pretty good seats. And by the way, I'll tell you, is it so-fi? It's so-fi and I didn't pull the thing. I didn't pull, I didn't hit up live nation. I just was like, because Eila, secret time was like,

I think she was a little freaked out that she would not look very normal to her friends. Because when you go to those events, as you know, like sometimes you, they roll out the red carpet. Like, and they'll be like, yo, and I mean this sincerely, it's sometimes needed. Like last night, thank you everyone at Metallica that said hi, it was really pleasant. Yeah. But like I had to separate from Isla because it was it was distracting from her

and her friends time. Okay. So I had to separate and just do pictures and I did pictures for fucking. I had to call it and be like, go to the show starting. Like I got to go. And so it was it was I like I Recognized an insane amount just walking to the car and sure and I didn't want her friends to see any of that. That's why I'm not going Sunday So but wait, but she went but we're friends there. Yeah, her friends were there last night her friends She got another friend group going Sunday. Oh, I got you and so she just wanted regular seats She wanted to pick them out. She didn't want to do any of the backstage,

any of the like, like I hit up five finger death punch. She's like, I don't wanna go backstage. I wanna do any of that. I just want my friends to be normal with my friends. It's like, what the fuck's broken about this kid? Yeah. So in the morning, I'm fucking pumped, dude. It's so fun to have something to look forward to.

Yeah. It really fucking is. I really swear, me and you need a big tent pole event. We do, just for me and you to get up and I hope that it's far enough in the future that I can party my fucking dick off, like Super Bowl. Super Bowl, me and you would be badass.

That would be cool. I did it last year. I know, I know. Let's talk about it. I know, I know, we did this last year also. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, you always have the big ideas, man. I know. I can't help it. Anyway, I start playing uh-huh, and her Sandman in her driveway, and I pull up and she walks out and I film her walking out head banging. Now, here's the thing about Metallica.

We want to go see Goose, my favorite band, my fucking favorite band. I'm going to have them on the broadcast soon. You are both doing Red Rocks. I'm going to come out for the Red Rock show and see if I can interview them before the show. You know who hit me up? That kid that, um, that just like put out that song. Anthony Alvar. Yes.

Alvar Anthony. Yeah. Keep going. He hit me Anthony. Yeah. Keep going. He hit me up. Yeah. And because I, I mean, I saw the, do you want to call him? The video. Yeah, he, I mean, sure.

No way, I don't know. We don't have to call him right now. No, this is not the saddest. Can I tell you why? Why? He hit me up too. Yeah. How he hit me up? No. How did he hit you up? Instagram.

He said to me, I was like, I saw the message and I was like, huh, what is this? And, first of all, I'll say that I saw that same video and I was just blown away. He's amazing. By the song and- He's amazing and he turned down $8 million.

Private jets and a stadium tour. Like recently? He turned it down, he just made a public statement on his Facebook. He jets and a stadium tour. Like recently? He turned it down. He just made a public statement on his Facebook. He still used his Facebook. That's how a ballation this kid is. Why he turned down? He said, he said, this isn't why he wrote music.

Pull up his statement, Halston. It's actually pretty beautiful. I wish I had this kid's integrity. I do not. I do not. For anyone asking, I will grow out a red beard and put on my older brothers clothes and play music barefoot in the mud for 50 bucks

And you can So he hit me up. I don't even say what he said Because mine's fucking hilarious. It's pretty funny, too. I didn't want to blow up his body to Yeah, wait, wait hang on can hang on, can I show you mine? Yeah. And then you tell me if yours is similar. Yeah. Hang on, let's add him as a contact.

Create new contact. Incredible. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I got this one. That's pretty funny, man. The kids fucking fun.

Yeah. His to me, I didn't know how to reply. And then he just wrote back, it's Oliver. And I was with the young gravy. And so we sent a picture and he's like, oh man, he's, uh, yeah, he, so this is what he said. So first of all, you're right is that he was offered $8 million for a contract.

Probably for that salt. And went to go ahead. I don't want six tour buses, by the way, for the record, I traveled with seven over fully loaded. Yeah. So fucking really good call. That's a pain in the ass in here. You know, my friend is on the Metallicator.

How many? I guess so many trucks. Oh, hold on. I can do this math. Okay. So we had five. I'm going to say 15. How many?

62. Oh, shit. The stage is in the round with a pit in the center. 62. Oh, shit. The stage is in the round with a pit in the center and the drum kit pops up in different places. 62. Holy fuck. Yeah.

Crazy. I mean, they did 70,000 tickets last night. And they're doing it again. What? Sunday. Sunday. That's a hundred and three. And then they're only doing like eight cities. Yeah. They're doubling up. Do you know how brilliant that is from a business, by the way, what's on day? It's on day. That's a hundred and three. And then they're only doing like eight cities. Yeah, but doubling up.

Do you know how brilliant that is from a business, by the way, what they did for people that don't know? So it's called like the no repeats. So a lot of times when a band of that magnitude plays a city, they're like, we're doing Friday, Saturday at Sofie. You're a fan. You go, all right, I'll go to Friday, you know? See the show. Well on this tour, they're saying that when they go to the city and they play more than one,

the two shows won't be the same. So if you go to Friday show, then and you see Sunday, they're like, yeah, but Sunday will be totally different. So what ends up happening? I bought a two-day pass. But that's- I bought two, two-day pass. I mean, how brilliant is that though? It's fucking, it's, I can I tell you what I wanted to do?

And I didn't know if this would work. But I wanted to do, I wanted to sell two shows. I wanted to do two shows by doing theaters. And they'll have the first show be all old material. All the hits. All the hits. And then the second show, all new material. It's not a bad concept.

I was initially I was thinking, so initially I had pitched it. I don't, you know I always pitch you. But I pitched it as me and you doing a festival. Because after fully loaded, I got offers from some of these bigger venues, outdoor venues going, yo, how do I get you here for two days? Because for them it makes more sense to lock us down for two days. Yeah.

And so we're trying to figure that out now. And I said, what if I did it, what if I did like a festival with like, say me, you, Sebastian, Eliza, whatever, like I'm just saying, like some people will have a couple of Netflix festivals. Yeah. And the first day is all old material. Yeah. Like all the banners.

And the second day is all new material. Same comic, same new material. I couldn't get anyone to bite. Like everyone was like, it doesn't make sense. I don't know why anyone wants the old stuff. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, the thing is, if you made that announcement,

it's interesting that I'd be interested to see what a fan base responds with. Because there's definitely people that are comedy fans that go, I would like to do that. like I'd like to see that but you have to have them 100% on board with that you know. We don't have to find out. We do. Hey guys, we're curious. It's me and Tom. What's up guys? If we did a two-day festival meaning two days at say like someone like Red Rocks first night we did each

did about 45 minutes of the hits of the hits all the old stuff and the second night Did all new stuff would you buy a two-day pass for me and Tom? That's our question answer and there and then we'll have the answer by the end. Oh, thank you We're doing two bears look at that look look at that. So that makes me really angry now that I know that What did not bring any of the same songs on the Sunday? Right, you're seeing a whole different show. I'm not. Right.

I got uninvited. Right, but everybody else who got that. I was getting, I wonder if she doesn't even know that. She's gonna have a whole other show. That's fucking, would you? Look at that. Here's the, so when we went and saw, I don't know how we, I don't know,

I don't know if there's the same kind of situation. Oh wait, we didn't go back to the statement. We were doing, I'm sorry, Oliver. I don't want six tourbusters, five tractor, 15 tractor trailers in a jet. I don't wanna play stadium shows. I do not wanna be in the spotlight. I wrote the music I wrote

because I was suffering with mental health and depression. He currently lives in a $750 camper that he bought off Craigslist and says he dropped out of high school at 17 and worked multiple Plant jobs in North Carolina include a strand of the paper mill paper mill smells so fucking bad I don't know what fucking Alvarez he's thinking. Have you ever been in a paper mill? It's have you ever been in a paper mill? Have you ever been in a paper mill? I have. It's not your favorite, the best job you wanna have. This is incredible. He's been open about trying to fix his mental health problems

without call, hey, Anthony, that's me and you hang out of Oliver. One month ago, Anthony claimed he knelt in prayer and promised God to get sober if it helped him follow his dream. When enough is enough, when we're gonna fight for what's right again, when we gonna fight for millions of times. Why is enough enough? Not when enough is enough, when we're gonna fight for what's right again. When we gonna fight for millions of times. When is enough enough?

Not when enough is enough. When is enough enough? You read the rest. Okay. When are we going to fight for what is right again? Millions have died protecting the liberties we have. Freedom of speech is such a precious gift. Never in world history as a world had the freedom it currently does.

Don't let them take it away from you. Just like those wandering in the desert, we, uh, excuse me, in the desert. We have, I'm sorry, away from God, and have let false idols distract and divide us. It's, um, yeah, it's an impressive guy. He's really talented. That is, by the way, the, the, yeah, it's an impressive guy. He's really talented. That is, by the way, the group he's in to turn down $8 million when he's in the situation.

He's in to be like, this is not one of about. I mean, you're talking about the 0.001% of artists in the world that would be like, no, not doing it. He should. I'm not gonna tell him what to do. No, I don't think I'm doing the right thing. Yeah, he's doing the right thing. I don't have that.

I never had that. The reason I did art was to share with people. The reason I did stand up was to share with people. He's sharing it. Yeah, he's sharing it. He's sharing, he's doing it. He's got a bigger reach than I do. He's probably one of the hottest things. He's probably what he's probably see those those videos of people watching that video.

Man, you know when they show it's like essentially like a reaction somebody like yeah, so there's a montage of people watching him do that song that I retweeted and I was in tears watching it. I stopped crying now that I haven't been drinking. Stop crying? I haven't been crying lately. Isn't that crazy? There's a whole bunch of things going on with you. Yeah. I would have a hard time turning down $8 million.

Yeah, a lot of people would. It's a really significant amount of money. Like if you, let's see, if you scroll down, wait, is that what the fuck? I haven't been on Twitter in a long time. That's... Wait, what's this? Wait a minute, that's from 2020? Why is that?

Have you not used your Twitter anymore? No, I do. Oh, that's the way it does it now. Twitter, he's not on your Twitter, he's on just Twitter. And it pulls up old pins or your highest things. I haven't been on Twitter, but I did log into Twitter for something Joe saw sent. And what came up was like old stuff.

And I was like, I'm out, I don't even understand it, I'm done. Here's the thing about that kid is, hey, Austin, we don't need to scroll through his Twitter. It's okay, it's okay. Yeah. Um, uh, is impressive. And I bet he has a fear that with fancy clothes, fancy shoes, fancy cars, he loses the struggle on what he needs to talk about.

Yeah. I mean, he's like the David Tell of music. Yeah. Cause the tell got offered, the tell got offered everything we've got offered and more. And he just was like, nope clubs. Clubs is what I do. And I got to be honest with you as a fan. I'm grateful. Yeah. Like there is a dilute, a dilute.

Like there's a thinning of your talent when you do bigger, bigger, bigger venues. Like as you do in Arena tour, you have to, you're forced to go back to clubs to find out what works. If you just stay in Arena, you're fucked. You are fucked because all your jokes are like, and then I kicked her in her pussy. Yeah. You know, like... No, you have to. You have to do...

I think it's actually good. I think it's actually good. I think it want to write to a Dave Chappelle joke. That's my favorite joke he has. That's a great joke. That's my favorite joke he has. That's my favorite. Kick her in the pussy is my favorite fucking joke. It's so funny.

But you got, you also, if you're doing an arena tour, you should schedule clubs in the middle of that tour. It keeps you honest, it really does. Okay. I mean, clubs, are you mean like, I'm not, you're not talking Monday, Tuesday, does. Okay. I mean- Are you trying to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? No, no, no, I just mean like, if you're doing this tour and you just do massive venues,

a good thing to do is schedule ones that are not that size. Yeah, I think you're right. So, shout out to Oliver Anthony. So, Shanna's all over Anthony. Yeah, and blowtorch. Yeah, that's all I have. So, anyway, so this is the backstory about Metallica. Okay. So, I can't get this fucking lit. I rolled it too tight.

I've been rolling joints a lot lately. You have been I love it I love it so much. I didn't ritual. Yeah, the ritual is nice. Um, so Okay So we're at goose in Chicago Georgian Daisy her friend are having a fucking blast lands having a blast. I'm having a blast How fans to to you know They're brand new fans. They're like this is awesome. Yeah, I was not into it She's like yo, can you get me? I feel like this is smoke all over the place

No, it's smoking for you now She goes Can you get me? Can you take me to concert? I want to go to I? Go sure what's that she's like Metallica tool corn I was like, okay So did you know she was a fan of these before I did not

So I take her I get tickets to Metallica dude to watch your kid fucking jam out And she was fucking like this the whole fucking time. I felt like the ultimate dad and then the middle of the show, I walked out about each of the girls, like little gift bags, like a little, got a little tote, got them three shirts and a hoodie, fucking expensive, I didn't know how expensive that shit is. But it's crazy because, you know, sometimes, and I mean this, I mean this with love,

but sometimes you'll get the fan that comments on how much you take it costs, and I mean this, I mean this, would love, but sometimes you'll get the fan that comments on how much your ticket costs. And it'll be shitty. I remember the first time it ever happened to you, to me. Meaning, we were in Philly, and this dude's like, dude, fuck Tom. Dude, he's charging $30 a ticket, fuck that guy. Who the fuck does he think he is?

I remember being scared. I remember being like, ooh, don't charge more than 20. And then I talked to you and you were like, fuck that guy, what did he look like? I go, he looked like, he looked like, he looked like pretty homeless. And you're like, yeah, I don't want him at my show. You're like, if you don't like me for an extra $10, you're like $10, $10 fucking dollars. Yeah. And I was like, you know, man, when you love something, I don't mind going out of pocket a little bit for the experience. Sure. I don't mind going in and seeing a little extra like, we got not the best tickets, but we paid way more than anyone's paying for my show.

Way more. Yeah, how much of a ticket tickets? Well, I mean, it's well known so you can say we paid I got eight tickets for like $5,500 Yeah, and the warning me great. Yeah, I looked at everyone around us, and I was like how did you guys afford this? Really because I was like I know this is this took a bite for me. I was like fuck by the way I initially gotten I'd gotten two Seven tickets and we thought we got a steal and fucking dumb dumb Eila was like she looked at him after we bought him she goes I might have made a mistake you want to be closer right I'm like mother fucker she had us in the

nosebleeds in the top I was like Eila we just dropped two grand on nosebleed tickets she's like we'll give him to somebody I was like it's not your funny money yeah so yeah we'll give him to somebody. I was like, it's not even funny money. Yeah. So, so, yeah. We'll give him to somebody. We're gonna scalp him outside the thug. What'd you do with him? Game under the people on the team. Oh, you did?

Yeah, I hit up everyone at Birdie Boy and I was like, yeah, if anyone wants to go see Metallica. By the way, it's a great show anywhere you fucking set. Sure. Anywhere you set, it's just being there for the event. It really made me feel like eventizing everything, making things a little bit bigger. Like, because they made it big, fire, fucking lights.

I had a panic attack in the middle, and I was like, and I calmed myself down. I was like, I was like, because it's so big and so far, so fucking big. Yeah, I started making a bucket list of bands I wanna see. That's cool, I haven't seen, I mean, I was in New Zealand and they just go, do you want to go see Ed Sheeran? And I go, oh, yes.

Fuck, yes. Because I just know, I wasn't even like, I'm not well versed in Ed Sheeran, but enough where I'm like, what do you need to know is it's kind of hip-hop you from one of us. Well, I just know that like the guy is, one of the most fun, burnable people in the. Yeah, but he's like also just like this musical

savant like he's so watching him do it, you know, like I was like always heard about him playing just with like a looping machine and watching him put it together and you're like, holy shit. And that was a stadium too. That was insane stage that they built. I mean, so I found out I'm like, wait a minute, though, we're in New Zealand. Like, yeah, they had to get like a duplicate of his stage built and shipped over. That's what it is.

Put on a ship. And like, that's how that got there. I was like, because it's so elaborate. It's like the Metallica build out. Oh, he was, him and Taylor swept with the two biggest things in touring. Yeah, massive. Like, what we do in touring is nothing compared to them.

Taylor Swift made a billion dollars in LA in LA. In LA. See, if I know how much money Taylor Swift made in an honor LA run, I think she did seven shows and I think she grossed a billion dollars. Stop. I've got to be, how much did Taylor Swift gross an LA? Those pictures are going to help. Let's see.

Oh, my, my, my, my, my billion. Hang on, that's increased. That's so crazy that her six concerts resulted in a 320 million dollar increase to LA counties GDP and added 3,300 jobs and 160 million earnings for businesses. I'm sick. Okay, so how many so guys, we still didn't get my answer. Yeah, I know but I don't want to know how much it brought to LA. I'm sorry. Just scroll up. Find out how much many fucking Jesus I'm high and I'm never gonna get fucking communicate. I'm never gonna communicate what I'm trying to communicate. How about, how about, how much did Taylor Swift earn for her LA concerts? Maybe that'll come up.

Is it actually? Yeah, yeah, I see that. I see that. Find out how much Taylor shift. Shift. Find out how much Taylor shift. Five billion cities total. That is insane.

Well, you saw, I mean, how there's no such thing. You know, people break websites. You have to cheat on your wife's favorite, right? I'd traffic. Yeah, of course you do. Like, you tell us what I was like, you know, you want to come backstage and then she's like, you know, lose your kids. Yeah, you're like, they're fine. I'd be like, and then she's like, the fucking your mom tell her to go wait in the car. I'm like, that's my wife. She's like, well, fucking lose the drip. And then she was like, you want a party?

I was like, what? He's like, that's not, you know, come on. Oh, five million dollars in this, that he little bit of fucking get down. Line your dick up with Coke. Let's fucking blow it off your cock. Yeah. What do you hang on?

What do you do for real? I'm being for real right now. What are you talking about? You pull your dick out. What are you talking about? It's Taylor Swift. And also your mom would understand just so you know afterwards she'd understand. Who was signed T-shirts on Taylor Swift?

She asked if I could just go to the bathroom real quick and she'll sign them. Dad, of course she did. I'm waiting, how old is she? Is it creepy that I'm 50 talking about Taylor Swift's not going to go to my cock? Of course it is. Yeah, if that's fucking the thing. I get, I got chicks pregnant at that age. What if Taylor Swift's like, cock. Of course it is. Yeah, if that's fucking the thing, I got chicks pregnant at that age. What if Taylor Swift's like, can you give me some of your seed?

Did your seed still good? No, for real. I'm snipped. Ooh, I'll take you out of this fucking fantastic scenario. No, it does, it's awesome because I can dump loads in it with any worry. And anyone I'm saying not just her Sorry, I wasn't talking about you Taylor. I

You think she's a fun time. I think she's a fucking blast. I think so too. I think she's a fucking blast I bet she's I bet I bet there would be a nice in the album she would write after dating you. He can't find his sunglasses in the morning. I was up all night, did the sleep apnea. Oh my God. Oh my God, that's so much money. 9 to 13 million per concert. So her ticket prices have to be just... They're astronomical.

She broke. She also was saying she broke ticket master. Like, think about how much traffic ticket master's used to handling. And when she announced her tour there, like, hey man, the site is crashed. Take it master. It's fucking crazy.

I think it would be cool. Like, this is my scenario with me and Taylor. So we go back there, right? I'm with my kids. Yeah. I'm with my wife. She's got all her people back there. And they're like, Taylor, Taylor,

we need you for a second. We need you for a second. She's like, give me a second. I'm talking, you're my favorite comedian. And I'm like, she was like, that podcast you do with the ball guy. I fucking love it. And I was like, oh, thank you so much. She's like, so who is everyone?

I go, this is my wife. She gives me like a weird look. And then you're really sweet, you know that. Yeah. And then I introduce my kids. And she says, she goes, so, like, how serious is it? I mean, what? She comes in real quick.

Almost like she's gonna kiss me at whisperers in my ear. Run away with me. And I'm like, what? And then she kicks off her high heels, grabs my hands, and we start rotting at everyone's, Taylor, Bert, don't go. We're running, looking over, is it, it's our night tonight?

Yeah. And then, by the way, she's 34, there's, I mean, like, that's still very... She actually, she's like, the lady and you're like, she's terminal, she's got like, oh, she's got a weight to wear. She's got a weight to wear. Yeah, she's got a weight to wear.

You can't hear us. Taylor Swift's 33 years old. She's got a boyfriend, I think. She's got a series of boyfriends, right? I mean, like, over the years, right? And there's always like big drama around because she was with Whose Taylor Swift?

Maddie Healy. Maddie Healy. Oh the frontman in the 1975. They broke up. I broke up. All right. Fucking. Oh, here we go. Who is Taylor's ex-boyfriends that second drop down? Here we go. John Mayer. Oh, what the fuck? John Mayer. That's not the fuck? John Mayer. That's not even a John Hall. Harry Styles. Connor Kennedy, the center for the Guardians?

Wow. Whoa, that's the list. Jesus Christ, man. Taylor Lautner. Sam Armstrong. Joe Jonas. Yeah, Taylor Lautner, Donald Trump, Thomas Hiddleston. I don't know half of these names. Not a lot of the diversity, do better.

Taylor. Yeah. John's. Sam's Lucas Taylor. Oh Taylor, about a day to the Taylor. Oh, yeah, it's weird. Taylor. Would you feel weird dating a bird? Is that the strange to you? Oh, Bert, you're still out right now. Bert,

Drew Hardwick? What's that? I'm here. I'm on my guitar. Oh, these are songs they wrote about them. Yeah, what song do you think she'd write about me? Dead fat and bloated. Yeah, what song do you think she'd write about me? Dead fat and bloated. What's that smell? What's that smell? I know there's a dick there somewhere. Just about to be a dark and we're playing in the car. I see my, I see my youngest all the time now. He's like, I'm like, what are you doing?

He's like smelling my hands. It reminds me of the first time you came to pick me up when I lived in the rampart division. And Christina didn't know you were. She goes, I think birds outside. And I go, he is. She goes as a guy and like a white truck smelling his fingers. I was like, that's him. that's him. Nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Swift, Dinger, she is the fucking, she is the shit. What do we just become friends with her? It's probably very lonely existence right now. For her. I'm guessing. I bet it is. You're so famous, you're too famous. What if she like was into us and she's like, can we do you guys do a live episode of Two Bears like

before I go on stage and we're like, lulls. You watch all the episodes? Just the one about you. No, talking about blowing those. She's like, you really are going to do a double TNT DP with Adriana Chetic before me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy Taylor, what are you talking about? Calm down. Is she out of sense of humor? Yeah. She'd invite us to our show and leave us on and get us totally naked and then have her room walk in. That would be pretty cool.

Oh, fucking hilarious. Like me and you're just totally naked. And then we go, we were kidding too. Yeah. That's why we're jokingly rock art. I know, I know we're doing a prank. Ha ha ha. That's why I'm working.

Should we think your wife's would be? Oh, that's a good one. Like where your wife would be like, oh, can I tell you what's crazy? So Leanne's driving, we're driving to the show last night. Yeah. And Leanne's, Leanne drives even now that I'm not drinking. Leanne's told drives.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I never drive. You don't like to drive? It's gonna be on my phone. Yeah. I feel like if I'm always like, can I just see the directions?

She's like, I don't know how to do this. Alex, I go with Siri, Leanne. We're in the car. What was I talking about? Hey, your wife would... Oh, we're in the car and she goes. She was talking about James Hatfield. It's ripped from Yellowstone.

You're right. It's ripped from Yellowstone. My wife would fuck him in front of me. Really? In front of me. And by the way, he's like reached out to her like a he didn't know he was doing it. Someone was with him at a party and they were like, oh, uh, whatever your name is copper. Cole. Oh, I think I know him.

Do you? I think so. It's crazy. He used to be like a redhead. You know, he's like Louis B. Mayer's grandson. Did I feel like I know this guy? Cole Halzer. Yeah, I think I know this guy? Co-Hauser. Yeah, I think I know him.

He's a badass, dude. He's old-school Hollywood. Wait, do I? Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm confusing him with another actor. How would you know him? From a connected with an actor, you know, that I just met before from another series though, that I was like, oh wait, is that him now?

So Co-Houser looks totally different than this guy right here in real life. Pull up just, you can't just do rip, just do co-houser. Yeah. Nice. Co-houser was in Richard Link, letters movie, Dazing, Views. Okay.

He was, he was, he's Louis B. Mayors. Son, grandson, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. Look at that jawline. Yeah. He's grandson, just fucking crazy. I don't know, I don't know. Look at that jawline. Yeah. He's like a legit fucking actor. And Leanne's all in. Uh, she obsessed with, we have a post for a rip in our living room.

Really? Like the one I have of you with your legs, we do the same thing in our living room. And so yeah, she's obsessed with Cole Halzer. Can't believe that blasphemous lie you're telling. So she, did you see the picture I posted today? Today? Yeah. Good on my story, Charleston.

I just took a picture next year. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. There we go. Look at my legs compared to yours. Fucking huge calves. Look at my legs compared to yours. Fucking huge calves. Look at that guy.

You're so foolish. So we're driving down and Leanne tells a story about James Headfield. She was like one time, she was at a, she was a waitress and this guy was like fucking harassing her and he's being a dick. And James Headfield walked up to, she was like, no, he was still in Metallica, but he walked up to the her and he's being a dick. And James Hetfield walked up, she was like, no, he was still Metallica, but he walked up to the guy and he was like, hey, how about you get the fuck out of here

before I take you out of here? And the guy's like, what? And he goes, no one talks to anyone like that. No one's allowed to talk to people like that. They answer some waitress. I think at the Chateau Marmont maybe. And she's like, and the guy's like, go fuck yourself. He's like, I will take it outside right now. he's like over her and he's like yeah over her

Let's fucking go and the guys like the fuck man. He's like yeah, get the fuck out of here. I'll go I'll walk you out The guy walks away and James after this looks like it's starting to deal with that. She was like It's okay. He goes no, it's not okay. No one should be talking like that. And he just walked away She went by back to say kind of about you drink he went, no, I'm fine, thanks. Just a fucking, don't you love when you hear good guy stories like on the floor? Of course. On the DL, like no one's supposed to know

how good this guy is, and then it comes out. And that was when she was working. Yeah, and that's why I leave my name on the go fund me lists, because how are they gonna know it's me if they don't know my name? Yeah, right. Right. I'm blown away by how you don't leave your,

you go anonymous. I've done both, I said though. I mean, I've done, I've done, I've done. Why do you go anonymous when you do anonymous? I don't want the attention for it. So like, for like who, who, someone you hated but you're like, no, I just go like, I don't want this, I just don't want it to be a thing,

I guess, I don't know, I just, here you go. Here's the donation. Or there's ones that I've given that I just don't want it to be a thing, I guess. I don't know, I just, here you go. Here's the donation. Or there's ones that I've given that I just don't, it's not a public thing. I've donated to it. And I guess you could find out. That's okay. I just figured it out.

For all those in vitros I donated to, I should never have put my name on. Because they hit me up a lot, and they're like, you're I need more money. Okay. A lot of those in vitros. There was a period where I was like heavy in in vitros. Like people who are trying to get pregnant.

Trying to get pregnant and what had happened was I people like people were really shitty in the comments. They were like maybe you're not supposed to get pregnant. Oh my god. And and then they were like I'm not gonna fucking pay my money so you can have a baby fucking if you want a baby you figure that out. Jesus. And I was like and I just felt back. because there's always the women, it was never the guy. Yeah. Never the guys never wanted to be true, it was the fucking women.

And so I just kind of would slide in with, not a ton of money, but whatever I had, whatever I felt was easy to type in. Type easy to type in. Few grand. A thousand, I don't think I've ever given less than a thousand. Yeah. I give a thousand easy, the most I've ever put

and go find me is 20 grand. 20 grand? No tip, no tip, no tip to fucking go find me. What? Just put on go go find me, you give them money and they're like, how much do you want to give us? 10%, you're like, how much do you give you $2,000? Suck my dick, how much is $75 bucks? Yeah. This is how much you get. So no brainer, I'm gonna give you $2,000. Suck my dick. How about 75 bucks?

Yeah. This is how much you get. So, no brainer, I've given the most money. I've given this to actual friends to start to go fund me because I want to retweet them and I want people. They have the money. To see, but I also want them to know, I gave money because that's the number one thing you get.

You retweet to go fund me. They're like, where's your name on there? And you're like, I did anonymous fuck face. And they're like, I didn't see you gave money. So you want me to give money to you, you think you, yeah. Woo, and they're like I didn't see you gave money. So you want me to give money to think you yeah Baby fucking cut hurt people hurt people Put that on a shirt. I think that is it is I think you need to shirt hurt people hurt people and then get me a excel

Man Oh, you say they don't have it? Oh, no, they do. Yeah, well, I guess I didn't make that. What was that? Heart people, hurt people. Are those hands shaking? Night? Night.

It's a knife. Um, yeah. And healed people, healed people. Hey, let's talk about Urban Meyer and the fucking the Gators. Are you watching that? Yeah, of course. Just started watching that.

That team was fucking bananas. Okay, who's better? That team or the fucking Miami team was shocking on it. Pull up the two fucking lineups. And I don't know nothing about 2001 Miami hurricanes. Yo, we need to get Tim Tibo on here. Yeah, that'd be great. Tim Tibo, man I'm bummed still bum that he's not playing professional football. He would have retired by now, right? Yeah, for sure This is the Hey, wait, when you think about it Tom. Yeah, Baker Mayfield kind of did what Oliver Anthony's doing

Baker Mayfield? Not Baker Mayfield. Sorry Baker Baker. Oh Baker. I need a lot out of you this year Okay, I need a lot out of you this year. I need a fucking lot What I need is you to leave it all in the field and fuck anyone who talks shit about you I want you dancing in the end zone taunting motherfuckers. I want old school baker that almost got canceled for calling people. Okay? You bleep that out. I want old school baker.

Fucking baker may feel he plays a starting for the box and I'm betting $10,000 on the box to win the Super Bowl. That's a pretty exciting bet. I mean that's $1 million if they win. I know, but just how much of a rush will you feel just if they get in the playoffs? You're going to be like, dude, yeah, dude, I'm betting. So I don't know.

Yo, if you're betting wide side, hit us up. I don't and I'll just do it exclusively through you. I'm betting every, here's my plan. You ready? Yeah. $10,000 on the box and then $1,000 against the box every game. That's your bet?

Yeah. That way, if I lose, if I lose, then I still get my money back. Okay. But if I win, yeah. And I have a chance of just a free million dollars. Oh, man, I should take it. I should bet too. Is that not a bad bet? I don't know.

I'm not a good sports better, but I feel like I should take it. I should bet on it. Do you know big cat? Yeah, he's a big time. What's his, what do you have him in? Do you have him in your phone? He's a fucking, I got him. I'm calling him. Okay. You think the answer on a fucking, no, he's watching some sporting game right now, isn't he? It's a Saturday. He's setting us to Port Noi. They all cast out for big checks.

What's up, bird? Hey, buddy, I'm sitting with Tommy. We're doing two bears. And we want to talk gambling with you for a second. Okay. What's up, big cat? We might use setup. What's up, Tom?

My new setup watching. You can hear in the background. I have five TVs in my basement all four of them are on sports Then the middle ones on pepper peg That's good dad right there. That's a solid dad I got horse racing football golf Little league world series and pepper peg. Oh, you don't shit Fuck so wait here's so here's our here's, oh, here's what I'm wondering.

You bet, who did you bet to win the Super Bowl? The Eagles last year? All right, so I bet the Eagles of 22 to 1 last year. This year I have the Ravens, but I also Jersey Jerry who I work with. Hold on one second. Jersey Jerry who I work with. He has the ghost in his house and we went ghost hunting last week and the ghost told me to bet the jets at 15 to one.

So I put 10k on the jets at 15 to one because that's what the ghost told me to do. Wait, wait, wait, 15 to one to win the Super Bowl. Yeah, it was a ghost bet. You can't, you can't. I lose. It was talking to a ghost. I can't say no to a ghost. That's, that's fine.

I wish you hadn't told me about your ghost bet. Yeah. What about? Okay. I heard it's said I heard it's 75 to one for the bucks to win. Uh, yeah, that would be just lighting your money on fire. You want me to just book that action? I'll take. Okay. Well, what about this? What about this? What if I bet $10,000 on the bucks to win the Super Bowl and then every week bet a thousand dollars against the bucks? on the bucks to win the Super Bowl and then every week bet a thousand dollars against the bucks. Well, they're going to be underdogs so you probably will just end up end up losing even more money. Fuck, fuck, I thought I had to figure it out. Son of a bitch. You know how many times I thought I broke Vegas? This is a new system, it's going to work, this is going to work, I'm just going to fake the public, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that and then I look up and I'm like, oh, this is a new system. It's going to work. This is going to work. I'm just going to fade the public. I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do that. And then I look up and I'm like, wait, how this happened? I lost everything I get. Hey, is it a fun bet to bet who's going to win the Super Bowl? Yeah, it's fun if you, I mean, it's like a season long, like especially you guys with your schedule and like your touring and stuff. If you can't watch every game, you know you have something invested in the entire season. So, um, yeah, do

it. Why not Ravens? I have Ravens 18 to one of it like that. Okay. All right. I'm going through. I'm going to pick two teams in the go. Don't forget the go. I'm best friends with Aaron Rodgers. I win the Super Bowl and I win the first ever ghost pick. I mean, they'll that will go down as the greatest pick of all time. Hey, that was... Barstool's got a sports back, right? Bull, right? Yeah, no.

I don't know if you read the news recently, Kurt. I know you've been off for a month, but we do not anymore. He bought the company back for $1. I know you've been off vacation. Oh, that's right. He came in and lit up because then what was in the office at 9 a.m. Yeah, yeah. So we no longer have one. That's good though, right? I mean, the whole situation is a win-win all around. So we couldn't, I mean, I don't want to

get into it, but there was, you know, the regulators were so insane with us. They did an entire hearing in Massachusetts about my cant lose parlay because they were saying I was misleading people because I was calling a cant lose. It was basically the Michael Scott deposition where our lawyers were quoting, crunchberries aren't actually berries and the whole wings aren't actually berries. And the whole wings aren't actually buffalo. And so, it was one of the funniest things ever. I had people, our lawyer had to be like, listen, Dan Katz is the worst gambler of all time. Everyone knows this.

And it's like documented in court record that I'm the worst gambler of all time. Oh, that's perfect. So, we should definitely not take your advice on anything right now.'m a loser I'm a lifelong loser, but I love doing it So I'm never gonna stop the sparkle man It's hard to turn down the sparkle of when you've got when you're about to cover and they're gonna kick a field goal And if they kick the field goal you win fucking ten thousand dollars. There's no better feeling Then right as they hike the ball. It It is the fuck it's why I live life.

It's the best. It's my favorite. My favorite thing in the world is on Saturday mornings in college football or college basketball, looking and being like, all right, there's like 60 games. And I'm going to bet every single game. And it's like 10 in the morning. I'm like, what if I just win everything? I fucking love it.

It must be my equivalent is when you go to the doctor and you get your liver enzymes back and they're good and you're like, Shut up! I'm partying my dick off tonight! I did it again! I did it again! All right dude, hey, what sportsbook do you use? Do you know, can you say? I can't, I'm still using the Marshalls' first for still exists. I'm still using it, but it will become ESPN that's in a couple months. Okay, all right. Well, thanks buddy. I appreciate it. I'll talk to you later.

See you guys soon. See you, bro. He's fucking awesome. Yeah, he's great. Him and PFT are fucking awesome. That's a great show. Yeah. So then, let's think this out. Let's have something to look forward to. I feel like going to gamble now. I want to gamble. Yeah. I want to gamble. I want to gamble. I want to gamble. Look, if I'm not going to, if I'm, I'm trying to re-figure out how this weekend's are going to work and I can easily not drink on Sundays if I'm gambling all day. But you got to

like, here's the thing, if you want, you want to feel it, you got to, but you gotta like here's the thing if you want You want to feel it? You got a you got to kind of up the action, you know, you can't be like hey 100 bucks Got a hurt. Yeah, it's got a hurt. Yeah Okay, it's got a hurt if it's gonna be a thrill, you know, let's talk about it. Oh, here's deal Here's a deal. Yeah, I'll say this publicly. I don't know when we're get I don't know when this is airing and I and we can clip this out and send this to someone What did this I don't know I'm not gonna say all the name I'm not gonna. I don't want to miss a name of a site so that would exclude that. Yeah, don't do that if you're a gambling site I will tell you this right now I will publicly say what you pay me per episode and I will bet everything you pay me per episode every fucking week

So there's a chance that you'll get all that money back every fucking week. I'll take that action too. If there's a website out there that wants to sponsor us, we will bet our entire paycheck per read. Well basically we possibly will be doing free reads for you all season. Whatever we get we'll bet all of it. And then we'll gamble all fucking. Yeah, we'll just say what our bets are. We'll say what our bets are and we'll be very open. Yeah, you, by the way, and if you want us to be discreet, then we'll be discreet. And we'll, we'll but know that our deal is per read, we will bet every penny that weekend on fucking football, college football and

Pro football and we'll have and we'll always do a Monday night game So when you see so when the episode drops on Monday morning and you know what team we bet You know that you you know that night when you're watching Monday night football You're rooting for one of us or against one of us. How's that sound? That's great. So episodes come out Monday morning. So we're like, yo, I got the Eagles tonight. I got the bucks over the Eagles. Yeah, yeah. And I'm taking you over in a parlay

and that Monday night, you're watching the game going, Bert's got fucking money on this. Tom took the opposite. That'll be fucking fun. Yeah, I'll do that. Let's do it. We'll bet on everyone. For fucking,

every Monday night game has to be a big bet. Cause it's a Monday. Cause we adjust that Monday night game's to be a big bet. Cause it's a Monday. But we just bet Monday night games biggest fuck. Yeah. Let's figure this out. Let's do it. If you're a gambling site. Let's do it.

Okay, so let's go back to, I wanna talk as you know college football. I don't wanna make the whole thing about football. We did talk about blowing loads and Taylor Swift. Okay. Who was better, who was better that Miami team or that Florida team? Well, it depends on if we're talking about the 06 or 09 team for Florida.

And then is it this 2000 or 2001 or is it 2000 Miami? What's the 2000 Miami roster look like? Leave that one up, but just add the 2000. Shock you as on the team Yeah, let's see Let's see because these The importance is on the team. Oh my god. Look at this Shocky dude wait is because the 2000 team

When the title or the 2000 what's what does this say no represented Sup sugar bowl champion national champion national champion. So it is the 2000 team right Yeah National champion who's your quarterback Kendorcy I think yeah right mm-hmm all right yeah look at that lineup okay Tana Moss you got Tana Moss Clinton Portis and Naje Devon Port in the in the backfield oh my god yeah yeah Shaki's tight end Yeah, yeah, Shaki's tight end. That's CBR's.

That's CBR's. What's that? That's CBR's. Oh, fucking, look at Edree. Edree's unbelievable. Yeah. Keep doing that. Keep doing that.

I want to see what they look like now. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yeah, Dan Morgan was a fucking animal. There's Jesus. Man. Yeah, Dan Morgan was a fucking animal. Just use this. Man, Dan Morgan looked like he was pulling up the, pull up the, what is it? 2004.

No, 2006 or 09 for the Gators, yeah. Yeah. That team, that team was fucking thick. Yeah. That team... That team was fucking thick. Yeah, that was a loaded team, man. I mean, you know, the truth is each fan base will just tell you why there's... Well, yeah, it's, everything's...

Everyone says the same things like you watch a documentary, they're like, football, different in Florida. And I'm like, yeah, kinda, but they say that in Texas. Of course, of course. And they say that in California. They don't know what that, in Florida. And I'm like, yeah, kind of, but they say that in Texas. Of course, of course. And they say that in California. They don't have that in Nebraska. And they say it in Pennsylvania. No, this team's outrageous too, man. I mean, this team had, I think the O nine team is more loaded for, for the Gators, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's when Tim Tibo was a, the old nine team had, they won the title again, and that's when they had like, Aaron Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. You know, you killed himself with soap on the floor? What? Like, he put soap on the floor. All right, because this had the penalty wins.

Chris Rainey, yeah, Jeff Dems, Brandon James, let's see. They had Brandon Spikes was still there. What was there? They had, yeah, major right, I'm on black. Like that team was loaded, man. Janores Jenkins. They're all juniors. It's fucking crazy.

Yeah, they fucked people up. That was a really, really good team. That doc is awesome. I just started that. Psycho and I fucking, the urban Meyer and like he's a crazy person. He's a crazy person. And he basically went in there like I'm training these people

for special forces. Yeah. And like yeah, like when you see how all of them are, it's, it's you know, 15 years later, whatever. And all those guys are like, that's the hardest thing I ever did in my life was working out for that team. Yeah.

He's a lunatic. I wonder, like, I worked out pretty hard today, but I go, it's nothing like those kids. Like, it's really... Have you not seen like the matriels thing they were doing? I just started it at the gym today. I will start watching. There's a couple of teams that have famous mat drills.

And I didn't know about theirs, but basically two of you lay on the floor on a mat, and one of them tries to escape the mat by crawling away, either one has to choke them out, and you just fight each other. They're just fighting. Is this the floor?

They're doing midnight lifts and shit. Yeah, they're doing, it was. These are the matrioles on Florida. Yeah, I mean, it's in the dock, but I don't know, I haven't seen how it is. Are they, and they have boxing gloves on? I haven't seen that. That wasn't in the one that I saw.

What was this? But yeah, get them to just, basically making them fight on top of all the, the lifting and the conditioning. That's the thing that's impressive to me about that is when you have a boy, the boy is natural instinct is to punch, a fight and grab and wrestle and jump. Could I do it all the time? And then there's certain boys that they shake that out of or they don't have that.

And then you look at like the men that go do this, they don't mind touching people. Yeah. I know. My Alice is starting Giu-Jitsu. For real? Yeah. You can sold Uncle Joe. I talked to him. I talked to a couple other people. I doesn to you, Jetsu. I listen to you, Jetsu. Really? Does she like it? She's been doing it for a few years, yeah. She took me out to the night. Does she like it? Yeah, she loves it. She loves it.

She's like, we were, I don't know where we were. She was like, I could choke you out. I was like, you're gonna fuck it, talk me out. She goes, these are the big guys. They go, what? She goes, where? And those little needle arms of hers went right under my chin and Lann and Georgia were watching. And I went like, and they started laughing so hard

and I let as soon as I let her them laughing, she just tightens it up and I'm like, no, I'm tapping. She's like, I haven't learned the tap yet. I was like, what? He goes, Ellis is like, he goes, think I'm gonna do a jitsu. And I go, oh yeah, he goes, do you get a six pack? If you do it, I go, yeah. He goes, yeah think I'm gonna do shijitsu. And I go, oh yeah, he goes, do you get a six pack if you do it?

I go, yeah. And he goes, yeah, sign me up. And he goes, I want them up to here all the way down. I'm like, okay, you'll get them. Go ahead, dude. He was just a fucking eight pack. Do you realize he's gonna be unmanageable at 10? Yeah.

He's gonna know what a fucking arm bar you. I know. And he's gonna be out. No, I'm signing up the same time just because of that. You're doing jujitsu? Yeah, because I don't want him to kill me. You're doing six and under. Yeah, I'm gonna do all kids.

Yeah. That's, that's gonna be at least. Fuck man. You really are doing jujitsu? I'm gonna go to the same place that I take him to. Really? Yeah. That's crazy.

I've always wished I could do you just, so I just don't wanna get a black eye. Why would you get a black eye? You've got to be like that. And they bump into you and you go like, I'm like, I don't want that. I'm talking about, I don't know. I don't know, I'm not good with touching other people like that.

Really? Yeah, you don't like the, yeah. The contact, right? I don't like touching and I don't like can't conflict. I'm like conflict. Yeah. If you could have, if there was a jujitsu class that taught you how to leave a situation early, I'd be like, that's what I'd like. Like, you should probably walk away now. That's the class. That's when I walk away. I think it's just a cool thing to try. I've never tried it. I might do it and hate it. I don't know. It's a cool thing to know how to do. I think, but I then I get super competitive and I'm like, how fast do I have to like a black belt?

Well, depends on 18 months. 18 months. I think that's the fastest you just do black belt earned. Snacken to be that 18 months. I mean, are you talking. What's the fastest you get to black belt earned? Snacken to be that. 18 months. I mean, are you talking about someone doing it seven days a week? And they do it. So 10 flat fastest. Okay. Travis Stevens.

Yeah, but these are like elite people, right? No, they just guys that went into a class. 18 months, that's so funny. I read that. Yeah, but not funny how my, the one. But these are elite people, isn't it? No, no, Travis Stevens was a, he was a security guard outside That's so funny. I read that. Not funny how my, the one. But these are elite people, isn't it? No, no, no, Travis Stevens was a, he was a security guard outside of a target.

What? And he got fucked with with these kids. You being serious? Yeah, it was like, I'm going to turn this around. I'm going to take you Jitsu. And he focused hard and he got it in 18 months. How the fuck do you know this? I read the article.

Yeah, type in Travis Stevens. Travis Stevens, yeah, he's a security guard at a target. You're being serious. No, I should stop fucking around because he could kill me. Okay. No, I'm joking. I think he was a, how, how did he, yeah, that's a really crazy thing I've never heard of that. I mean, even the BJ pan thing who's super elite, I mean those three years. He got to, how, how he did judo too? I don't know. Scroll down. Let's see.

Does it say anything about that? Like, that's so weird, man. That's 18 months. I think he was probably like a fucking insane, like natural talent. Yeah. He's an Olympian. Yeah If you go into Jiu-Jitsu and you had a wrestling background like you knew how to wrestle You're definitely gonna be like that. They say about the Paul brothers is that they're really good wrestlers really?

Yeah, were they on the wrestling team? Yeah, they were yeah, they're great athletes. I mean, they're really athletic dude Well that um that Jake Paul has much shit as people talk about him. The guy knows how to box. Like, he's a proficient boxer. He's a fucking phenomenal marketer. Well, that's, that's for sure. I mean, look.

Yeah, but he can, I mean, the way, I, the, those, those men's brains are fascinating brains to say the fucking least. But to the boxing thing, it's like, I understand the criticism of like, Those men's brains are fascinating brains. Yeah, yeah. To say the fucking least. But to the boxing thing, it's like, I understand, the criticism of like you haven't fought elite boxers yet, and that's true.

But for somebody, like you just watch him in the ring, like he's not like some amateur that's like trying to, like he actually, he has a put together boxing game. Yeah. But everyone just wants to see him fight more elite boxers, which is, you know, probably the thing to do now. I was next to Ben Ascreen, the guy he fought. Ben Ascreen. Ben Ascreen.

Yeah. I played Disc Golf with Ben Ascreen. You did? Yeah. He loves Disc Golf, right? And by the way, like I'm a pedestrian compared to him. I am not even remotely as knowledgeable or as good at disc golf as Ben Ascreen.

He is legit, I think he's ranked. He's got his own course at his house and he's good. He's good. And he's fucking really passionate. Like he knows discs, funky farms is where he plays that. I'm not gonna lie. And I think Ben would admit this. I Blue his doors on the first toll. Yeah, we did an opening shot type him. Bert Bird Chrysler disc golf, DGLO type in Bert, Bert Kreischer, disc golf, DGLO. And, me and him, I have it on my phone, I'll just send it to you, it's probably so much easier. I'm so not, Ben's like a good dude, like he doesn't curse.

He's like, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, smoke doesn't do anything he's just a good fucking dude Halson I'll just send it to you and it'll be so much easier so Burt's MacBook Pro Let's see That's me no no no no no no here no, no, no. Here we go, that's me. Okay, so this is, nope, not edit, cancel. This is, share and share.

Here's me in Benescreens to, no people found, Halston. Hang on. Hang on. General, airdrop, everyone. Photos, Halston. Halston, to Halston. Okay. I did, I did have, well, I had the benefit of, I played the day before.

So I played a full round the day before and he hadn't played in a little bit. And he was like, I'm not loose, he stretched out. He's a real athlete. But my point being, not that I'm just better than Bennett, disc golf, but my point being, I'm betting is gonna hear this and be like, and by the way, he's a man. He's competitive, he's jacked.

I mean, like, you see someone on TV and you think, oh, that guy's, he's in good shape, dude. You get next to him, he's shoulder. No, like, just know, you see someone on TV and you think, oh, that guy is, he's in good shape. Dude, you get next to him, his shoulder. No, like, just tank top flip flops, just huge shoulders, huge arms, and just a jaw that you go, I couldn't kill him with a telephone. Yeah, like, he's just, he's just a fucking man. Yeah.

So like, the fact that Jake Paul knocked him out to me being standing next to Beness Kryn is, is, is just enough. Well, I'm like, that's fucking badass. I don't think I could ever knock out Beniscreen. Okay, this is Ben's drive. You can zoom in a little bit. Yeah, here we go. It's a good drive. Good drive, barefoot. Look, he's jacked, right? Yeah, yeah. He's fucking jacked.

Yeah. He's fucking jacked. Yeah, dude, that's a profiter though. Yeah, yeah, a champion, world champion. Yeah. All right, go to the more athletic sneaky guy. Yes, sneaky athletic guy. Sneaky athletic guy.

So look at those arms and that's what he threw. Yeah, and then Halston in the second will pull up Yibo Yibo a bird. This is hole one. This is the whole one Now I go for a forehand. Wow, I got sneaky athletic. Look at those legs. Yeah Okay Don't worry about what I'm saying. I'm not sure what I'm saying. You can scroll forward a little bit Halston and Here we go. I turn around to the thing make a joke watch this throw

Wow god damn guess what happened the next time yeah branding now do you wait did he go this way? He throws a backhand, I throw a forehand. Oh wow, I didn't know people did that. Yeah, forehand's easier for me. I will say when you watch the fucking gangsters throw, like there's this guy AB who throws bombs. I'm talking like 800 feet, bombs, fucking bombs.

Does he have a overhead on him? Overhand, his forehand, earth backhand, like this. Backhand. I go like this just because of baseball. And so it's easier for me to get more spin. And- Does it, they're like a Frisbee or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you should play one time.

We'll play in Austin. You've never played, right? Never. It's fun. You'll get into it. This kid AB is fucking, this isn't him. But it's just like a, this is a legit guy here. This is a legit guy. So you look at these and they fucking, well, throw it far as shit. And wait, what do you do from there? You pick it up right there and you throw it again. Yeah, is this Beniscreen?

Similar. There are a lot of hippies. And then... Oh, Anthony, where is he? Wait, but what is the goal? You get it into that cage thing? Yeah, you get into the cage. So... This is have to stay in the cage. Yeah, it's got to land in the cage. Land in the cage.

Yeah, okay. And it's really fun, but more importantly for me, it's like a nice long walk, it's being outside. Yeah, it's got a land in the case. Land in the case. Yeah, okay. And it's really fun, but more importantly for me, it's like a nice long walk, it's being outside. Yeah, that's cool. It's cool. Have a good time. It's really fun. And then you get a little competitive with yourself

and it's cool to throw bombs. Like every now and then I'll throw a fucking bomb and you're like, not weighted, are they? Like, up to 174, this dude. This dude, this dude this dude this dude fucking Look at this Bro look at this seriously Dude he throws his first throw now. I'm talking like I'm with Paul Mcbeth. I'm with fucking. I'm with look at this

This is him watch this I love the announcers. Oh So then wait from there he'll just toss it into the Elow and take out the different out the different. But these all these dudes are gangsters. That's a B like that kid is throwing fucking new. Wait, he'll switch, switch them. He goes for it. Like if he's trying to throw a bomb, he'll throw a backhand. And then I mean, will you switch your disc? Yeah.

So right there is probably felt like our 174 really complicated disc to throw. And then this look he's rolling it. This is how good this guy is. He can then take it and roll it. He knows how to make it. Yes. Yes.

It's so fucking impressive. Look at that. Kids of fucking monster. Well, so is there all different disks? Simon the Zot is the number one right there. Yeah. And that guy is like the OG of like no, but answer me though. What wait? So what's when you have a rear closer you switch the

weight up. Yeah. Yeah. So right now when you're driving right now, he's like using a mid-range driver. Yeah. And it's probably 154 grams. Crams. Yeah. And so, look at this kid. Look at this fucking. So are they more weighted from a distance? From a distance, you want to use a heavier one, or if you're going into the wind, you want to use a heavier one. If you're going with the wind, they say you want to use a lighter one so the wind can carry it more.

But I mean, I only do heavy from the tea, heavy overstable. And then when you get close to you, lighten your way to have more controls. And the less weight the more control you have. And then when you get real close to you, use your putter, and your putter looks more like a traditional frisbee, only like smaller. And look at this fucking kid.

Look at this Tom. Look at how far this kid fucking throws it. Yeah, he's fucking ridiculous. All right, look at this. And then do you drink and stuff while you're doing it? Uh, these guys don't, they take it super serious. They're all like, I do, yeah, I take fucking some IPAs out there, a little joint, cigar, I brought a cigar out here to watch them play.

This is that DGLO, this is that DGLO the year before. Is that like, that's the open? That's the disc golf's great lake open. Look at this. The whole Ben and I threw, the whole Ben and I threw, that kid just threw it fucking 800 feet right there. How far do you guys throw it, like, to prepare?

Oh, fucking three, maybe? Yeah. I don't know, I really actually don't know. I think probably 300 feet. Ben probably more, Ben is actually better than me. He's way better, but my putting was on. I was fucking 300 feet. Ben probably more. Ben is actually better than me. He's way better. But my putting was on. I was fucking draining him.

You would really enjoy it. I'm telling you, it's funny shit just head out there. He has his caddy, like you switch out. You have a caddy, yeah. Oh my God. They bring about probably 20 discs with them. All different weights. Some stable, some over, under stable.

So what they want is like on that thing, he's like, well, I can get, but I got to go around this way So then he'll use a fuck I'm always fucking this up. He'll use an over stable disc And so it'll cut in this way an under stable disc will cut out that way. Wow Look at this. Oh, it's don't relate US DGC Look at it, it's coming back around. And then by the way, the other guy, I could watch this all fucking day. Look at that, you gotta go through the thing to get to the tee, get to the, shut up.

Ace. Fucking up. Ace. Fucking Ace. Wow. Can I tell you what I was my business approach? I was a stupid business approach. Yeah, I think we're good here. Yeah, we can do really, I'm just gonna keep looking at it.

So my business approach, I wanna get involved with disc golf in a way to kind of help the sport. Like I wanna take what I can, like for the DJL, or I just went out, just hung out. I was like if you want to take pictures come out. Let's watch this golf So I didn't get paid for it, but we just hung out and so I played a little bit people could people could pay for charity to come play with me and And that pros I was playing with and so Oh, so here's my business model.

So I watch a guy like this guy, or Simon Lazzot also a gangster. He would take insane approach shots. So everyone else was going through things. Simon Lazzot would be like, he's like a German kid. He's like, I'm gonna go over that water tower and just be like, and have these insane shots. That's what's fun for me in watching this golf.

Like no one wants to watch someone fucking lay up. Like no one wants to watch here. And then there, here we go. In my opinion, I at least I don't, I'm gonna fuck. I was gonna take whatever the pot is for the tournament, like whatever the prize money is. And pay a kid like A, B or Simon, Lazaco. Yo, I wanna sponsor you.

I need you to wear my ship. I just want you to throw fucking nukes all day. I don't want you to try to win this tournament. I want you to make it fun as well. You should throw fucking bombs, crazy approach shots. I want to see Bacon Throw a disc. They were saying, I forget who, I think, I think they were saying,

A, B, can throw a disc, we throws it upside down. Upside down, it goes like this and then goes like that. I go, yeah, fucking crazy, nut shots. That's what I want to see too. That's all I want to see. Yeah, I want to, and next time I'm in Austin. Is there a place to play there? Do you live in the, you possibly live

in the capital disc golf? Really? Austin, Texas is the heart of disc golf. Did you know? Austin number one, a long time ago, there used to be a show on MTV with, fuck, never mind. Let's change subject.

Shout out to Philip Lee. I went to sushi by scratch the other night. Jesus Christ, it's so fucking good. Was this the guy out of Austin? Yes, it's so good. He does this like fixed menu, Om god say sushi, but it's not like The right like it's not like a piece of salmon that you get at a wreck. It's it's all Elevated and it was so she must scratch. Yeah, it's so that's it right there exactly

Were you a Seattle? No, no, it was here. He did a pop up here like just a temporary rump. It's so fucking amazing. It's so good. And they put like the, like see the board behind them that has the in the middle there. Yeah, yeah, that's what you're gonna have. So it's all written out, but it's not the pieces that you're used to having them saying, it's not the tuna you would normally get.

It's all really. Yeah, it's all like a different version, his version, and it's just so, I cannot recommend it enough. It's in a bunch of cities now. So if you look at what they have, I cannot recommend it enough. I think they're in Chicago, Seattle, Miami, Manicito, Austin, I think they openito, Austin. There's a few, I think they opened Montreal. I cannot recommend it enough. Sushi, buy a scratch.

Or steakhouse. Meaning, meaning, for the money. So we're gonna go in, we're gonna, it's a ball or night. Me, you, your agent, and my agent, right? Yeah. Just like a night where like, you know, like I don't know, it's a business night. I would say Roguio, you know, with the like, it's like just like a night. We're like you know like I don't know it's a business night I would say Rogo you know with it. Let's do that way

Okay You you're gonna pay let's say let's say like with drinks and everything so $5,000 bill god damn for the four of us Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be but but now here's. For $5,000, do you want a steakhouse of $5,000 or sushi at $5,000? Sushi. Yeah, right? Yeah. Okay.

Now here's a question. You're taking, you're taking, you're taking those people out to eat, where would you wanna go, sushi or steakhouse? It's because like for men, I feel like taking men to sushi is kind of like inviting them into bed with you. If you take a man to dinner, you have to take a mistake out so that you both know we're not nothing's happening. That's not that all.

If you want to get sushi, the guys are like, okay. What are we doing? I mean, I love steak, but I actually also feel like the older I've gotten, I used to just be like, how big can a steak be? And I just be like, oh, do you have a 34-ounce steak? You know, let me order that. Oh, yeah.

I'm in the rib-ice hard core now. Of course. But then, now I get smaller cuts, and I just try to get like good quality stuff. But I also feel like there's that thing where, I mean, there's some night look, I really want to stake, but a lot of times you're just like,

this is just, it is the same bite over and over. It's delicious, but it is the same bite. Whoa, whoa, you are fucking me up. And then sushi is like so much variety, like so many, all the fish taste different, you know? The same bite, yeah Yeah over and over and if you have it a 20-ounce steak you're having that bite like a hundred times That is insane. It's true right the same bite. It is it's like being married

You're gonna just fucking want to be with the same old bag forever. All right You want a little Taylor Swift in there. That's what sushi is. Oh, fuck. It's the same. But those fish are all different. I mean, salmon and yellowtail and flavor-beam scallops, they all taste different. I'm so on. I'm not gonna fuck with sushi while I'm kiddos.

I have to go rice. Yeah, all right. You don't like that. But I can do, I'm not gonna fuck with sushi while I'm kiddos I have to go rice. Yeah, right. You know, like, everybody I can do I don't get full off. So she yeah, like I eat it. I don't get full off of it. A steak. Oh, I get satiated with I think there's also there's more fat feeding it ribeye. You're having it's more satiating that way because the fat satiates. I cooked a cowboy spawning cowboy cut about two inches thick from Snake River the other day, yesterday, yesterday, before the concert.

Have you had, by the way, have you had Piedmont steaks? No, no, googling it right now. Piedmont steaks, what is this? What is this, a website? I mean, this is not a sponsor. Oh, no, no, no, this is neither Snake River. I don't know. It's either snake river, neither is the fucking fandal or whoever the fuck we go with.

Those these Piedmont ones, I went when I was there to their place in I think in Nebraska, wherever it was. And then they sent me some holy shit. They're fucking hot dogs are dude unbelievable. You spell weird. You know, it's Pete Montsez Pete Right there. It's up in some front of you. I'm just how I'm you spell it right, Holston How did you oh, yeah, that's what I just said Pete Montsez Sponsored okay, I'm on it. How many, what did you buy?

Dude, you gotta get, everything there's amazing. Get there, you gotta get some steaks, get their ground beef, and get you have to try their hot dogs. I'm serious. Their hot dogs? You have to try them. Dude, this makes my dick hard, because this is all in my diet.

See, this is what's beautiful about keto, is it's all in my fucking diet. Get there, I'm getting it, I'm getting it. Get steak. Get their ground beef. Traditional beef products or straight up hot dogs. Get there. Get their hot dogs. All grass-fed, all hot dogs. Get that done. And you have 24 dollars for 16 hot dogs. That's fucking that. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I just added it to my cart. And then you gotta get some, get some steak, so too. I'm definitely getting steak, so you're kidding me.

Okay, all right, hold on. Let's go, we're getting ready to wrap this up. Let's find out if people would buy a two day pass. Okay, what'd they say? Fucking 95% is yes. Seriously? Yeah. You wanna do that? Let's do it

Let's do it. You do that. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Um God damn it Let's do it. Oh, let's let's let's do it. Let's do What You I know you know what I'm thinking. No, yeah. You know, Tom, it's a fucking 95%. 95%.

Let's do it. Alright, let's talk about it. Let's do it. Night after night. Come on, let's do it. You have to bill it, though. Oh, yeah, oh, oh, oh, fuck yes. Fuck yes.

The hits, the new stuff. Did you do new stuff first night or second night? Second night. Hold on, think about Metallica. So having seen what I saw, I'm super excited about first Sunday. So wait, so do you recommend news stuff first night? News stuff first night.

His second night. His second night. His second night. Okay. How do you work out your hits set? Uh, fucking, we post it, we post it on socials, all our fucking bits. People just fucking vote for their favorite bits, and then all, and we just go, that post it. We post it on socials all our fucking bits people just fucking vote for the favorite bits And then all and we just go that's it. That's our set list Be pretty fun to do the hits it would be so fun to do the hits to do the hits and then and then I'll come up and tell one of my

Favorite jokes of yours and then you can tell the machine. I'll be like when I was 22. I got involved With the Armenian mafia. All right, so I'm getting this steak. Okay, I'm getting fucking, what are we learning today? This is a recap of the show. We should start doing that. Oh, today on Two Bears One Cave,

we found out Tom and I will be betting whatever a sponsor gives us to do reads for a betting website Everyone in FFB. Every Monday night football game will betting the entire capacity We learned that Tom wants to blow loads in Taylor Swift along with many other women and they're not getting pregnant And we also learned that $24 for 16 hot dogs is a deal if you know how to make hot dogs. I'm telling you, you're gonna call me and be like, oh my fucking god, I cannot believe this is a hot dog.

It's that good. I, I, as your mouth watering. Yup, and we need to end times go eat now. Okay, I have to eat. I'm literally like fucking panicked. Okay, all right. Great episode. Great episode, I love you.

Love you too. you