2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - The Rise of Matt Rife | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 207

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Go see Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer LIVE at The MGM Grand Garden Arena, February 10th, 2024. Tickets available at:https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourTom Segura is joined by guest bear Matt Rife for this week's episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss Matt's meteoric rise to fame, Matt's time on Wild 'n Out, Netflix comedy specials vs. YouTube comedy specials, crowd work and hecklers, dealing with negative feedback, Matt plans to buy his mom a house, and much more!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

We have got a huge announcement. Tommy, you want me to tell him? Should I tell it? No, I'll tell him. No, let me tell it. We'll both tell him at the same time. You ready? Saturday, February 10th.

Me and Big Tommy Buns. We will be at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada. One show, February 10th, 2024. Burk Chrysher and me, the two bears. Pre-Sale starts Wednesday at 10am. And the code word is bears. Use the code bears, get your tickets for General All-Sale starts this Friday at 10am.

The show will sell out. Birdcrysher and I, together, if you're coming to the big game, bet on your team now and bet on your boys. We will see you there. I can't wait. This week on Two Bears One Cakes, Chicks yell out,

f**king me Tom too at my shows, but when we turn the lights on, it looked like a f**king bass at home. Oh, you never gonna be able to perform in Atlanta again. Promise? Wow. HPO is like, are you trans and missing a limb? Like, I have my nipple bitten. Women will ask, like, can I grab your f** limb? Like, I have my nipple bitten.

Women will ask, can I grab your t- I think we have very different fan bases. I'll trade you. 100%. I'm a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a and his disgusting face. But today we have a treat for you. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the very handsome Matt Rife. We have a studio audience. Is that audience here, man? What? Oh, thanks for having me, man.

Now, thanks for coming in. We were talking and you're like, I thought we were podcasting. You were talking for like 20 minutes before this. I know, I know. Now, I'm super excited that you're here. It's been, you know, it's obvious to say, but it's probably been a pretty wild ride for you

in the last. One of the things like really, because I remember, okay, I'll tell you, like it's always from different perspectives. I remember like, I was in a vehicle on tour, and my photographer was in the back and he goes, you know, Matt Rife, and I was like, yeah. He's like he goes, you know Matt Rife?

And I was like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, you've seen his crowd work and I was like, no. He's like, you haven't seen the clip. So I was like, the fuck are you talking about? I had no idea what he's talking about. And he's like, here, check this out. So he sends me a clip and I was like, yes, really good.

And then I look and it says like 19 million views. I was like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. And then I looked at the next one. It said like 25 million views. I was like, what the fuck? Oh yeah. And then it was like, I looked at the next one. It said like 25 million views. I was like, what's going on? Like it was an explosion. And then it was like one of those things.

It's like somebody points something out. And I just started to hear. I started to hear your name more. People will be like, oh, you do, you know, stranger. You do comedy. You know Matt Rife? I was like, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? You mean, like you've been on Netflix like four times.

Well, it was even that. It's like, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? You mean like you've been on Netflix like four times? Well, it wasn't even that. It's like, oh, they're keep mentioning his name. And then I saw like, I think I went to your page and I had seen you announce, I think your million follower on Instagram or something like that. Like I saw it like, maybe like scroll down a little bit. And then it was like two million, three million.

I was like, this jump is like, yeah, very, very, it's growing in the TikTok thing. So like, your life a year ago, a year ago, let's say August, September of last year, is it still, has this already begun? I'm trying to figure out. No, it was August of last year was the first time that like, I started to get a bit of a following

when people will start to come out to a show. July of last year, 13 months ago, I was doing, I was maybe profiting $150 to fly myself out to do a one-nighter in Philly to like 80 people would show up to. So a year ago. So this is the part of it that like when we were texting a little while back about all the stuff going on, I was like,

you know, I was like, don't lose your mind, don't go create, like don't flip out because it feels like the craziest thing for me is the rate at which not that it's happening. It's just so fast. Oh, incredibly. It's so fast, you know. You wanna grab all of it while you can.

It's so scary because I still feel like in two months from now, I'm back to begging people to please come see me at a one day in the middle of nowhere. Which is the normal way to, everyone can't believe it's happening. But most of the like, ascent, like the growth for people is like this very gradual. You know what I mean?

I remember, like, it's not like that for everybody, but like, I remember for me, like, the first time I realized that it happens differently for because you only know your own Path, yeah, so like you know, I had a special come out. I shot one in 2013 came out in 2014 and But it came out like March of that 14 was your first special with Netflix. Yeah, okay, I thought so so it was like 2014 It comes out by the end of the year I'm selling out clubs. I was like, this is Brad But it's like that's what it was yeah, the next of the year I'm selling out clubs. I was like, this is rad, but that's what it was. Yeah.

The next year starts, I'm doing rock clubs, and I do that for like a tour. Well, can I ask this? When you first started to sell out the comedy clubs for a weekend, in your mind where you like, oh, I've made it. Like, this is the epitome of what I needed to be in my career.

I was so excited that that was happening, right? Like, I was like, I can't believe this is happening. I'm like 34, 35 or something. And I'm like, I'm like, oh my God, I'm finally getting like, you know, like a check that you're like, oh, I can actually do something with this. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I think I was like you where I was like book, book at all, like book everything. Yeah.

And I was also doing the thing where I would go, book a, like you learn that like agents hate booking one nighters, like at clubs and stuff. They're like just do the weekend, but sometimes I would be like, you know, this is like fucking Lafayette. Yeah. Like I go just give me one night

and they would go like, no, they don't want to do it. And you realize why? Because the club goes, don't, we don't want to do it. And you and you realize why? Because the club goes, don't we don't want them for a night. We want them for like three nights. Yeah. But I would like, I would insist. Like I want to do that. And then I go on the next night, put me in Haddie's Berg, Mississippi.

Yeah. Routed all together. Routed all together. And they're like, what? Because I was like, I can get a hundred percent or close to it of all these one nighters and route together this, this week that makes it worth it. And then they go, oh, it becomes undeniable because you go, it all worked.

They don't want to do it at first. They just want you to, they want the, because the club goes, put them here, Cleveland, three nights, six shows. It's over the weekend. That's it, that's all they want to do. It's like, it's easier for them. Yeah.

If you do one night, then who are we gonna get for the other night? It's like, it's because this whole thing do one night, then who are we going to get for the other night? Like it's because it's whole thing. But it was like this gradual thing. And then after the rock clubs tour, I did another special. It comes out and then I'm moving into small theaters. At the same time for that second special, I remember I ran into Ali Wong. And her first special came out, which was a monster special.

Monster special. It did bananas numbers. And so she went from, I'm not settling tickets. And I didn't realize that for sure. She was like, Hey, like, you know, I can I ask you some questions? I was like, yeah, I was like, so here's what's going to happen. Because I'm going from my experience. I was like, you'll probably start to like sell out clubs.

And then you move into, you know, like maybe like theaters and she's like, yeah, I'm doing like Union Hall in New York. I was like, oh, that's great. She's like, I'm doing like nine shows there. I was like, I was like, oh, I don't know. I go, I don't think that we shouldn't. I'm not the person to give you advice. I think we have a different thing going on.

I was like, what the fuck? She was like, yeah, yeah. She exploded, man. Exploded, exploded. I mean, not for like multiple Emmys for her new show She was like, yeah, yeah. She exploded, man. Exploded, exploded. I mean, not for like multiple Emmys for her new show. I mean, it's her, yeah. And then, and her people don't know that like, so Ali, she's open about, so I'm not revealing

so she doesn't like huge venues. Really? No. So like, you know, she could do like a bunch of arenas. When she did San Francisco, her hometown, they were like, I do the Oracle arena, she was like, fuck no. She did, you know the Masonic? Is that awesome? She did 19 there.

19? Yeah. Or like an LA. Too many. I know, she's like, no, she just parks. She's just like, I'll just take the family and hang out there for three weeks Jesus go well that I mean that's I guess that if if you're just using it as a

Residency, yeah, she's exactly that she also like row I mean like over the course of like probably a few days off Will turn in LA great venue 14 15. Yeah, oh my god What you're like just do the fucking staples that she's like, no, cause she doesn't like the show. Which I get, like, she's like, she's done big ones. She's like, she doesn't even like 5,000 ceters. She's like, see, I like both extremes. I like a comedy club and I like the bigger arenas.

The in between is not my comfort zone. For sure, cause it's just intimate enough that people will still yell out shit. For my experience, the bigger theaters, I got like a five, six, seven thousand one. Yeah. Is big enough that nobody wants to look fucking stupid but something like that.

That's true, that's very true. Or they know they're so far away, they don't want to ruin it. Yeah. And comedy clubs, I like it because it's so intimate, they're like, I can dive into some crowd working for them. Of course. Yeah. So how are you, how are, okay, we've got a little sidetracked.

Sorry. No, no, no, no. So this is like less than a year. What, like, where are you feeling like with going from, I'm making 150 bucks to fly for a one night or two. Everybody knows your name. Everybody's saying that you announced a tour that sells out in 48 hours. I mean, you're turning down at,. Like, what does it feel like? It feels fucking exhausting to be honest.

It's the first time in my life that I ever had to realize, like, be careful what you wish for. Right. Because the reality can be so much harder than what you think your dream scenario is gonna be. Sure. It doesn't feel real at all. It feels like I'm getting a lucky experience.

Right. Which sucks a little bit. Like, I definitely don't get to enjoy it as much as I feel like I should be like sitting in it yet though. No, it doesn't feel like all of my friends are like, dude, you did the thing, you made it. As long as you don't fuck up, you're not gonna have to worry about money

for the rest of your life. You're gonna be fine. It's pretty crazy. You'll be able to at least do comedy clubs for the rest of your life, not how bad it goes. It's kind of, I think about that all the time. Really?

All the time. I mean, I told my agent, I'm like, if I can stay, because I know that like the upper end of it, which is like the arena stuff that I'm doing is a window. Like you don't do arenas for 20 years. It's a window. Yeah. So I'm like, you know, maybe you don't do arenas for 20 years. It's a window. So I'm like, you know, maybe I get to do it a couple cycles, like a couple tours.

I'm like, if I can stay in theaters for the rest of my career, meaning I'm like 60 and I call them and I go, hey, can you book like these theater markets? Yeah, I don't care if it's a fucking 1200 theaters. I'm like, I'd be thrilled. Yeah, of course. That would be amazing. Yeah, you can't stay at the top forever. It's also another thing we were talking about off air, Ralphie May. Yeah. They always say to me all the time,

he used to say, he used to reference Dane Cook all the time, he used to say like, you can't live at the mountain top forever. No. Eventually you do have to go down. And that's why you have to be nice to everybody you meet on the way up. That's true. That's why you're being grateful for all the experiences you have on the way up and try to enjoy it because yeah, exactly. That moment is only for a window. You're not for a window forever. I mean, some windows obviously last longer.

Yeah. And I think that like, you know, I mean, I'm super grateful just to have experienced whatever experience and be able to work at that level. But you know, part of your brain is also like, oh yeah, like even, you know, like a Kevin Hart stop doing two arena shows. Yeah.

It does one. And you go like, oh, that's like, that's a reduction in his workload and all that. Well, quality of life I've learned has become like way more important. The fact that you're, that this just happened for you and you're this young, and you were able to go, I'm turning down one of these sh-sh-sh-sh's a very wise thing that you're able to do at this stage.

Well, I've been so lucky to get so much good advice. Like I was with I was with Chappelle and Yellow Springs at his summer camp that he does out there and we were we were talking about my tour and he was just like he was he was giving so many kind words and one thing he did say in all of all the tour dates we have is he said, remember pigs gets lottered. You know, You don't have to do everything all right now He goes if this is gonna be your longevity you have to take care of yourself He's over when you need it. He goes you don't if you can do 20 theater shows You can do 20 it's six months from now. You don't you can do 10 now 10 six months

But none of us want to hear that when it said of course. Of course. I was the same way Everybody said the same thing. Here's how. Of course. I was the same way. Everybody said the same thing. Here's how bad it is. I was saying that to other people. I was like, man, you fucking pigs get slaughtered. And then I would sign up for the opposite. Oh, you fuck.

Yeah, because it's so hard to, like, in the, here's the thing they get you to, dude. Like, they get you. Meaning, like, you have your, like, this is what I'm doing. And it's just like the, the offers come to you and you're just like, I remember, like, what they'll do too is they work back a week. Yeah.

So like, they're like, how about Thursday, Friday, Saturday, like Nashville, Charlotte, Raleigh, and you're like, that sounds like a great week. And they go, you know, Wednesday, there's the, Greensboro's got a high score. It's right there, right there. It's right there. You want know, Wednesday, there's the greens boroughs got a right there. Right there. Right there. You want to do Wednesday. That's exactly how it works. Yeah, you go, yeah. And then they go, you know, Tuesday, Richmond is like not

far from Greensboro. And you go, okay. And then you have a Monday off. And then they go, you know, Monday. And so you go, oh, and then you look and you're like, oh, I've done that 10 times now. Yeah. So now you're just doing full weeks. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's how it. But I'm lucky enough now that I're like, oh, I've done that 10 times now. So now you're just doing full weeks. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's how it, but I'm lucky enough now that I have like my moral bases covered. Like we're closing on getting my mom a house this week. So like that's just exciting.

How exciting is that? It's incredible, except for my mom doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Really? When I call her. Does she know about the house? Yeah, she knows about the house. And I wish my biggest mistake.

No, God no, Georgia. Okay, God no. No, once my grandpa passed away, I was like, we have to get everyone to fuck out of Ohio. So I never have to go back here ever again. You don't like Ohio. I don't like Ohio, but funny enough, I like Atlanta worse than any part of Ohio.

You like, I told her if she moved anywhere close to Atlanta, I'd never come visit her. Yeah, I think I saw, just scrolling, I saw a clip of you shitting on Atlanta. Yeah, do fuck that place. Ha ha ha. And people were like, oh, you never gonna be able to perform in Atlanta again.

Promise? Wow. And then drive the Athens or Savannah, if you wanna see me. So Atlanta is your, now, did you shoot there? Is that why you hate it? Did you, no. No, I just, I lived there for the summer.

I lived there for the summer between my junior and my junior and senior year of high school. My first manager owned a comedy club down there. Oh. And yeah, he found me on Twitter. It was this long story. So that summer I had off. Obviously I had no plans for the summertime.

I took a Greyhound down to Atlanta and I would just sleep on comics couches down there over the summer and do like nine to 15 shows a week at this club. Like he would just put me on every show, uptown comedy corner. Okay, have you heard of it? Now I'm trying to think of the,

cause I did, what was the famous longest running kind of club there? It was punch line? Punch line? Yeah, and then I did that like, laughing school? Laughing school. Yeah, there's a great

venues. This was nothing like those. This was like the premier black comedy club in the country. I was almost feared rooms in the war uptown. Oh, yeah. So to be a white comic was like the worst that you could be like people would take out their keys and jingle a match. You like it was it was an intense experience. But it made you ready for fucking anything. Anything, yeah, yeah. And black crowds are the best comedy audiences in the entire world. I remember it's a real respect. Doing the comedy union.

Oh, yeah. If it was a black club on Pico. Do you ever go to the J spot by the airport? I did another black club. I don't know if it was, it was like closer to downtown, but I forget the name of it. It was like a little room. Was it Garrett Morris? Yes. No way. Yes. Really? Yeah, what was that place called?

Garrett Morris is comedy club. It was like in a homeless shelter in downtown. It was. You would have to go up like nine store-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guar-guarice-guarice-guarice-guarice-guar I remember doing the union regularly. I got my first TV credit ever was from performing that. I did BET's comic view when I was 17. Jesus. And the show got canceled right before my episode. So it never even aired. I did BET once too. Did you really? What'd you do?

It was called One Mike Stand. It was the follow up to that. And dude, here's the worst part about it. So we're backstage and it's a mix of people. The audience is all black, but the comics, there's like, I think there's 10 of us taping, probably six black dudes and chicks, and then four white people.

And the first three comics that go up are black and eat the biggest bowl of dog shit that I've ever seen. So we're like, fuck, I mean, like they came off sweating with like a, like a scared look and they're sweating a good set. That's true. That is true. That towels and stuff. But I was like, holy shit, because also at a taping, you're like, it's, it's added pressure. You never bracket. Yeah. And you're watching, you're like, it's added pressure. You're never cracking. Yeah. And you're watching, you're like,

wait, the black comics are bombing here. Like, we're gonna fucking die. You know? And we'll also want it with you. White comic wise? Well, I remember that, it's her name, Paula Bell. Paula, Paula Bell, I believe so.

Yeah. Look at Paula Bell, is that, if it's who I'm thinking of, she's a beast. I've seen her murder. Yes, yeah. So she goes up there, man, I will never forget this. She's just like all of us watched four people eat shit.

I mean, really eat shit. And she goes up there and is like, fuck you to this crowd and murders. She's Bernie Maxx. She absolutely. And she murders and I'm next. So I get the benefit of essentially, it's almost like having, you know, in the scenario,

like somebody open and get the show going. And I was like, I was like, can we get me out there right now? Of course. And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got out there and had like, you know, a good set.. I was like, can we get me out there right now? Of course. And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got out there and had like, you know, a good set. And I was like, but she's the one that flipped the room.

Like she flipped the room. Oh, I love that. And Kevin Hart was the host. Oh, shit. Yeah. And it was like, he was, you know, on his way, it wasn't like who he is today. But you saw like how charismatic this dude was.

Yeah. You know, he had like, he had today. But you saw like how charismatic this dude was. Yeah. You know, he had like, he had that thing that people talk about movie stars like Tom Cruise having where like, he talks to you and you're like, oh shit. Just captivating. So engaged with you. Yeah. Remember, I said it before, he said he was like,

oh, you're talking, he was like, everybody's talking about you, man. And I was like, really? Like, I was like, no, it's fucking talking. What are you talking about? Shut up. But he was like, really? Like, I was like, no, it's fucking talking. What are you talking about? Shut up. But he was like, you're selling you on it. You're like, oh, cool, cool.

Like, he just, you know, so cool. I'm glad you're not. I'm happy to know he's always been nice. I've met him a handful of times, and he has always been so kind to me. So nice. Oh, man, I love that you did BET. My mom has never, like,

I don't think registered any of my, like, career achievements, I don't think. When any of my, like, career achievements, I don't think. When I got B-E-T, she was like, oh, that's, that's quiz-it-a-TV thing. Is it? Yeah, we don't have that channel. We don't have it.

And then I did him TV, and it was a black show as well with Wild Now. Oh, yeah. She was like, what was that like? Is that it was, uh, I remember that show, like, kind of on the periphery. Like, I wasn't watching the show, but it was like, you know, it's part of,

yeah, it's culture. It's like ridiculousness now, like it's always on. You know, yeah, yeah. It was the first real thing that put me on the map for my career and it was the best learning experience I could have gone through because I had no idea how TV worked whatsoever. And I didn't know how competitive being on set was.

So being around all these comics who were like, great improvisers and great stand-ups and rappers and everything, just threw me into such an uncomfortable environment like I was forced to learn shit like really fast and really well in order to even have an opportunity to get on an episode. Yeah. Because that show is like, it's like an NBA roster. Well, more like an NFL roster where there's you know, 12 cast members per episode, but there's like 25 cast members. So you're like competing for episodes basically. And my role on there was like the white guy obviously. And oh my God, I was so miserable

because everyone has their role on there. If there's a gay dude, you're only doing gay jokes. Because the white dude, you're only doing white jokes. I was just lucky to not be the gay dude. And I remember like my second season was going really well on there and everybody kept coming up and be like, oh man, you bucked with like the next Gary Owen and I was like, ah.

Another Ohio guy. People I fucking love, Gary Owen is a beast, he's a good friend, a fucking awesome comedian. But it's a very niche lane that I knew I didn't want to just do. I didn't want to just before the black comedy. Yeah, I've always proud of myself on being for trying to be forever.

But did you, because it sounded like with the Atlanta stuff, were you like primarily doing black crowds? Yeah. Oh, you were. Yeah, I grew up doing just that. So then your comedy naturally start to play to black crowds because like you're conditioning yourself.

But that was just because of my personality. When I grew up was all with black friends. Oh, I got you. okay all of them growing up With black I have always been far more comfortable around black people than I ever have been with white really my people suck so bad Dude, we're so annoying. We're not fun at all. That's very true. It's so frustrating. I know I can't get anymore black people here But it's true. They're a lot of Austin. I need you to bring them down here. We'll hear at the office We have one. It's fine, but I haven seen what's this I've been in here actually. Oh, he's in the booth, we try to keep painting.

Yeah, there's another one. Oh, that counts, the painting. So I guess we have two. Yeah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Don't, and enough with the paintings.

Let's not go to three. Yeah, how many paintings do you have in here? There's a number of paintings. Yeah. Are they all people you know? People we've shown highlighted, I don't know if I know them all. I don't know if I want to meet them all. I wanted to ask actually, what's the record behind you?

Uh, oh Gary Clark Jr. Who is Gary Clark Jr. Really? Yeah. Who is that? He's a very, very talented, uh, guitar player, singer, rock star. Like currently? Currently. Here lives in Austin.

Then shout out to the full The Gerry Clark Jr. Also, just so you know. Black. Oh, thank God. Yep. Can you can you get a minute for the studio? I would love to.

I would love to have Gary Clark Jr. Yeah. Have you had any musicians on the show yet? Have we had musicians on the show? There he is. There's Gary Clark Jr. He's like Rips, dude. Like, if you see this guy play guitar,

is he from here in the South? Is he from here? I don't know if he's from here. He lives here. My name does South familiar. No, he's bad ass, dude. He's one Grammys and like he's... What music do you predominantly listen to?

Predominantly? Yeah. Probably hip-hop. Really? What music do you predominantly listen to? Predominantly? Yeah. Probably hip hop. Really? Yeah. Do you ever go old? Old? Yeah.

Like how old? Like how old? Like I'm really big. You're old might be just my current. Yeah, the two Shay. I think like I'm a huge like 50s through 80s fan. Oh really? Yeah, I love it.

Like I'm a huge like Sam Cook fan. Oh yeah, I love the whole shit. Yeah, sure. I mean I grew up, my dad was a big Motown guy. Really? So Motown was like predominantly what he was playing in the car or like it is, you know, as house. Juan, oh yeah, Danny Brown of course. So I guess not a lot of musicians have come on.

But yeah, Motown was like huge for us. You know, everything from Jackson Five, Temptations, Diana Ross, like all that was like. for us. Everything from Jackson Five, temptations, Diana Ross, all that was like. All the best. Yeah, that's older stuff for sure. He hated my dad hated hip hop. Oh yeah, so did my dad. Yeah, he was like, that's one thing we're definitely different.

And I was like, okay, he was like, God, you like this shit? I was like, yeah. At what point, has it even kicked in? Do you like current hip hop, like this shit? I was like, yeah. At what point? Has it even kicked in yet? Do you like current hip hop? Like, new shit? Here's the thing. Bert and I were just talking about this. How you're too young for this now,

but in 10 years, you'll be like, oh, you don't wanna be the guy who's like, fuck all this new shit? Oh, I'm already there. But so what happens is you do start to lean into that. It's also comfortable to about the stuff that you like and came up with. You're like, it's comfort, right?

It's like, it's why people watch sitcoms for the same sitcom, they're like, I know it. It doesn't challenge me and it feels nice. It's like a warm blanket. So, music's like that too. Apparently, this is something that happens in the brain to most people, which is like after 35, you just are reluctant to start to keep taking in new stuff.

So I try to make an effort to go like, okay, what's new? And a lot of times, sometimes my effort is five seconds, I'm like, fuck this. And sometimes I'll even make myself listen to a couple songs, and I'll find things that I like. The truth is what ends up usually grabbing me now is just something that's catchy as shit. You know what I mean?

Like if a hook, if a beat is like super, has a thing to it, you're like, oh yeah, I'll download that shit right away. Yeah. As far as like, I mean, there's, I don't wanna get into that. Like there's new artists who are so celebrated. I'm like, I don't know what's happening.

I don't know why this is anyone is talking about this. Oh dude, it's my generation, even I don't fucking get it. Really? Dude, that's like, that's my, the weirdest thing about me is the fact that I'm 27 and I live in this new world of all the new age hip hop and social media and all that. I fucking hate it so much. Much like.

Oh my God, the fact that I'm successful via TikTok blows my mind. For years, like Lauren Compton, who's most podcast I'm gonna do. Yeah. For probably two years before I did TikTok, was like, you gotta get on there, you gotta do it. I was like, never in a million fucking years.

She was telling you? Oh, yeah. So everybody was like, you gotta get on there. I was like, I'm not. Yeah. And they were all, I was like, you, I mean, yeah. I was like, you, I was like, I'm not. I was like, I'm not. Yeah. And they were all, I was like, you, I mean, yeah, I was like you. I was like, I have enough social media.

Like when it was like, you know, I remember Twitter and you're like, all right, Instagram, I like Instagram, I was like, yeah, like photos and like, I like that medium, right? Yeah. Video photos, great. And I was like, you gotta be kidding. Another one, you want the runs?

I fucking hit yes, and it just like automated it. I didn't hear a sound. I know, but it's like, you go, but then part of you, what happens is you go, well, it's like what TikTok became the place that like the young consumer is there, right? Yeah. So when something like threads comes on,

you just go like, what if that just explode? Like why be late to the party? I just was like, okay. Yeah. But I don't really, I mean, I don't really engage much there. I don't, you know, I just kind of go, fuck man. And then somebody manages, like on Facebook, I abandoned. Yeah, I haven't been on Facebook anymore.

But then a guy manages it for me, puts stuff, I'm in like five. Exactly, same fine. Just put it up. Y'all want that like to check when a birthday is? And that's literally it. Dude. Yeah, I just, I don't know, man.

I mean, but obviously like TikTok really was critical. Oh, cause it's exposure. So when you're, when you, you said like last July, you make a hundred bucks or whatever, so it starts to, you see the thing explode. Like the video starts to go crazy. Do you show up at a gig and you're like, oh, this is sold out, like you didn't know?

The first place was, I'm sure you know, off the hook in Naples. Yes. That was the first club that like did numbers that nearly sold out each night. And you'll never forget that by the way. Oh no, cause he handed me a check and it was for like, it was like 12 grand.

Yeah. Which I was only contracted for like a 1500 guarantee. I mean, you know how those deals go. So I was expecting that check. And he handed me 12,000. And I remember I looked up at him and I said, are you sure? And he was like, yeah, man, we did really, really well.

I was like, get the fuck out of here. It's a crazy feeling. I was supposed to be like this now. That was the first club that actually took off. But before that, it was just. And then was it just on after that? Like it was just on. Yeah, pretty much, which is crazy

because the two months leaning up to that were exactly what you were talking about. I was routing one nighters from like St. Louis to Philly to Raleigh. And each one of them, I'd make 500 bucks or something like that. Sure. But you'd have to do all three to make the whole trip worth it.

Worth it, yeah. Yeah, it was exhausting. I remember my first one very clearly. I was, my special came out in March of 2014. And honestly, you know, Netflix is much bigger now than it was then. It was still like a thing. But I was like, all right, you know, it was a consolation prize to be on that. They were like, that's on Netflix. And you're like, fuck. Yeah, you're like, all right. So it came out, you know, saw some tweets,

did a couple, pressed, I did like, phoneers, you know, a newspaper put me in there, like it was nothing. And it came out, and I saw people were like, oh, this is really fun.

The same kind of thing, like if I did, Comedy Central presents, you know, you see like tweets about it, and you're like, all right, and nothing changes. So I was like, nothing changed. Now do you feel like it about it and you're like, all right, and nothing changes. So I was like nothing changed Now do you feel like it's the epitome Netflix? Is do you think it's the best place for a special to land? Yes your shipwise. Oh, it is

the only other place that like oddly enough it's it's the polar opposite Business model in many ways, but they both have the same Objective is YouTube meaning that like Netflix is subscription based you pay for it, but they've got a hundred and fucking 40 million people to do it. And they also have some very high level production things. They're obviously massive shows, movies, documentaries, it is a content haven, right?

And they also became the place, they went after standup. So they were like HBO Was the place for standup Netflix was like fuck that we are and came to people with checks and like took Standup. Yeah stand up away from comedy central and HBO. Yeah, it's the place. What's fascinating about YouTube YouTube is free everybody has YouTube YouTube. You can share very easily The objective just like Netflix, Netflix wants you to stay on the platform. They're giving you stuff to go, just stay here.

YouTube has the same objective. Stay here, stay on YouTube. You can put out a special as you have, and other communities have. And look, if that finds an audience, the same goal is met. Millions of people seeing it, and that without question translates to ticket sales.

Yeah. That's part of like, part of the people who are buying tickets for you right now. Yeah, of course, TikTok, but like some of them are YouTube people. Hey, I saw you special on YouTube. But do I think that Netflix right now is still the place to be?

Yes, it is. When did Comedy Central fall out of that race, you think? Hmm. Probably. I was still the place to be. Yes, it is. When did Comedy Central fall out of that race, you think? Probably right around like 2014, 15, 16, like in that middle thing, that's as like Netflix put it into like fifth gear. And but the whole Comedy Central model was, is like, remember it was like, all it was was stand-up.

That's what I'm literally what made me do stand-up. Because Comedy Central ate a night, just watch Comedy Central presents. I didn't even want. None of us wanted to be anywhere but Comedy Central. Of course. I'm talking about from the early 2000s, even when I did presents, I shot it in 2010, it came out in 2011, and I was just like, that was a half hour special, and all I was gearing for was like, let me do that hour next, like that was the goal, because you've seen all your people, you admire, do it.

Yeah, there was a structure to how your career is supposed to go. Just do that. But they also, like, I don't know, I mean, leadership changes in companies like that, especially with Viacom, and they just like, I don't know, I mean, leadership changes in companies like that. Especially with Viacom. And they just like changed their whole model. And like, they've been very fortunate to have South Park

and the Daily Show be like the continued staples of the network. But all these other things they do, I'm like, they kind of like come and go. Like everything else just kind of like falls away. I've always wanted to change that. Like I always wanted to have that conversation with a comedy essential to be like give somebody with a young fresh fan base a project to run with

that can bring your network back to what it used to be a comedy network. I gotta tell you something, you could probably fucking get that meeting. I've had that meeting and they don't bat a night. Oh, Comedy Central's never given me the time of days. Even now? Never. Still not. That's never given me the time of day. Even now? Never. Still hilarious. That's hilarious, dude.

I know. Well, that's very informative in and of itself. That they, I mean, you should be able to go in there and I don't mean that like anybody could just do, if you like, give me this, but the fact that they don't want to entertain the idea is fucking barbers. And I'm just big on, I'm big on creativity.

Like, take a fucking chance. I get that you're a business. I get that you have to go by the numbers. And risks can cost a lot of money. But it's like, other, your channel's never gonna grow. Your network is never gonna go back up. And you're having those conversations with people right now and they're like, we're not interested.

Really? I think comedy is interesting. Probably the only one who never, like just never even want to take the lead. They don't take the lead. No, not really. I don't take the lead. They're not really. I don't mean it with them probably beginning of this year, maybe, maybe end of last year when things started

to pop off a little bit. It was positive, but it was not like, we were to work with you. That's so interesting. It's funny how these networks and platforms have brands now. Like HBO is like, are you trans and missing a limb? Like come to a special here, you know?

Well, only fans has given so much opportunity to stand up lately. Yeah. Which is fun. That's actually why I named my first special Matt Rife Only fans, because I knew how many people searched to see if I had an Only fans. Okay.

Then I knew it was going to drive traffic to it. Let's park here. Okay. That's a great thing. So it's a perfect time to bring this up. So much is made about your looks. Do you know what it's made about? It's insane.

One of the things I noticed, I mean, look, you're very handsome young man. That's right. I remember when all this happened, I looked at your Instagram and dude, the comments under your photos are like, they're like, oh my God, he's doing it to us. Like, I can't take this anymore.

I'm like, what the fuck? And it's like, girls tagging their friends. Did you see? And then the girl is like, oh my God, I'm dying over here. Like, I'm like, yo, dude, it doesn't make sense to me either. Well, but you're in the very, I mean, very small percentage. Oh, that's just a either. Well, but you're in the very, I mean, very small percentage. Oh, that's just a good looking guy, but like it traditionally doesn't align with comedy, right?

Like comedy, like the more flawed you are, people see it as a bonus, right? Yeah. Guy with like a missing tooth, belly hang, and that other people are like, that's hilarious. It's visually comedic. It's comedic, and they like to see that guy say things. And like, if he complains, it's like, that's okay, right? They don't want to see somebody really well put together. Yeah.

What's up with your life is great. Oh, of course. You stay as soon you have no problems whatsoever. You can't have problems. Traditionally, what you see in comedy, I think, is like you're always kind of telling, because there's a lot of women who are attractive women who sometimes lean into that.

And you find that there's huge resistance to it. Like, of course. People go like, stop dressing like that. And it's not that I feel like you should tell somebody what to say, but I almost say that, like, I understand what they're saying. It's like, you're wearing this form fitting outfit, you're accentuating, it's like,

the guys are only thinking about what they're seeing. Yeah. The women are like jealous or hating on you. It's like, you kind of have to like, play against those genetic gifts. Yeah. So like, what, how do you, what's your position on like, you know that people are saying,

like, oh, we find you so attractive. What do you, what's your take on how to deal with that and do comedy? Well, I think when I was younger, I had to embrace it because it was the only thing I had that kind of made me stand apart, I suppose, that gave me some kind of leverage, I guess, or at least maybe people noticed me. So like, what, you're young and they're like, you're cute.

Yes, you go, oh, well, I'll play into the, I'm young, dumb and cute. Okay, but then once you become 25, 26, 27, you're a adult, people stop caring about what you look like, at least in comedy clubs, stop caring about what you look like and how old you are and like, and more focused on what you have to say, like, are you gonna actually be funny?

So now I'm at this point where I kind of hate that I did that to myself, because I'm putting a weird position of like, yes, I have this massive fan base that is predominantly women who are such a powerful fan base. They're so supportive. And I mean, obviously, I mean, look at, I mean, the ticket sales we did in 48 hours is insane.

But then I have to sort through all of those fans to find who the real comedy fans who's actually here because they believe I'm a I'm a big comedian. The big plus to it though is that you're bringing in people who maybe never wanted to see a stand-up show. Oh yeah. Never seen one. That is the big plus though.

Is that like somebody who goes like, oh these chicks just think you're a good looking guy or whatever. It's like yeah, but you got somebody to go, oh, I want to see this, this is stand up. And some of them are going to be like, I want to see more stand up. Yeah, absolutely. And that's a huge benefit to comedy.

But it's a responsibility as well. Yeah, it's like because so many of my online clips are just crowd work, people who don't know how comedy works, think that's how the show is. How are you managing that? Um, because I wondered that too. It's like I see that it's like a natural thing to watch. You go like, oh, these are great crowd work clips.

Yeah. I'm gonna go talk to me, right? It's, you have to be patient. And I am patient to an extent. My biggest problem is it's, people can come to the show expecting crowd work and still be respectful. They can sit back, wait and go, I bet it's going to come at some point.

That's the audience member that I love because the thing is, they're probably going to get it because I enjoy doing crowd work for me. Sure. I mean, as a comic, you get tired of telling your own jokes. Sure. When you do eight shows in a row, you go, okay, this hour is in. There's hours again. Yeah.

Let's break it up a little bit with something that's even going to catch me off guard. And do you do that like, at a special moment or just like, whatever? Yeah, I've got with something that's even gonna catch me off guard. And do you do that like at a special moment or is this like, and that's the, I'm so happy to talk to you about this. Somebody who gets it. Yeah, I've got like three placeholders in my set that I go, I can transition from this bit easily into some crowd work.

Of course. And if it does or doesn't work out, I have an easy out to go back into this set. But here is an opening for it. But people don't know that. So you get people who are ego-tistical or just want the attention, or they want to be that next clip.

Yeah, they come and they yell out, and that's what I'll shut down immediately. If I can tell somebody wants the attention, like they want to be the clip, I got not. I could get them the fuck out of here. Yeah, I hate that shit so much. It's a worst. The worst part about it is that there's this thing

when you're performing any type of performance, but stand up where you naturally, to be the best performer, have to allow, you have to be willing to be vulnerable. And when somebody like hijacks moments like that, the natural instinct is go, I don't want to be vulnerable anymore. I don't want to open. So I'm going to put a wall up. Yeah.

Now you're fucking up the show for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's, that's been a tricky thing to navigate. It's going back to what you're saying about my looks earlier. Yeah. It's created this very hungry, supportive fan base that I mean, I'm so grateful for and has gotten me this far. Yeah. But now I am having to weed through those and find the real comedy fans because that's what I've been working so hard for for the past 12 years. But how do you just...

I just... Like you just... You have to stay true to the craft. I suppose as cheesy as that sounds. But I was talking to my best friend and tour manager the other day about how easy it would be for me to just go on stage and play into the whole I'm a young fuck boy. We lift my shirt up or whatever and play to the female audience and I could get I could have a roris standing ovation and it would be a great show for exactly what they probably want but I go I'd be fucking miserable with myself. You'd be miserable. That's not what I want to do.

And the time limit on that would be quicker. Oh, of course. Oh, yeah, that would be such a flash in the picture. But what's funny is, as much as I sit here and go, oh, my looks don't allow me to be perceived as a real comedian, guess how much sympathy I'm allowed to get? Yeah, zero.

Of course. But do you feel, is there a pressure on you to, I mean, your looks are your looks, right? Like your face is your face. It didn't choose. Right. It's just how it is. But is there then an added pressure to go like, I need to look good all the time. I mean, you know, like, you're not aging out, but like, there's this thing, right?

Does it stay in your head? Like, I better like stay in really good shape. I better make sure my hair looks, like do you feel a pressure to deliver the package that some of these people want to see? No, not for them, for me. I wanna look the best I can possibly. Who the fuck doesn't wanna look the best version

of themself, right? And as someone who grew up as an ugly kid, as a skinny kid, I didn't lose my virginity until I had two months left of high school. So I was such a late bloomer that I'm like, can I just enjoy this portion of my life? I don't know what I'm gonna look like when I'm fucking old. I might look like Dom Myrera in five years.

Yeah, you can go now. Oh no, it could change. Yeah, I don't know. As rapidly as this happened, it could go away. Let me ask you this are you just Drowning in pussy right now like is it that if I was nobody throw me a fucking life vest not a single person Dude, it wouldn't no, I'm not I have a girlfriend. You do yeah, yeah, he's know that I do now A good a good part of them do are you guys together a while? No, it's a really relationship about about four or five months. We've known each other for about a year and a half.

You have. Yeah, yeah. She's wonderful. No, no, she's actress. Okay, now this takes, this is the next question for that. That takes, like, she must feel how much people are commenting on you and like all the attention you get. Yeah.

That takes a very secure person to, she is, she's she's she's very she's very smart. And like I love that she's never been insecure about the amount of attention that I get and there's more she sees it the way I see the way I see it. Like some a girl will get out in the middle of a show like fuck me or something while the people yell out these shows right. And a lot of girls would be like, you have girls yelling at the fuck you in the middle of the show. I get off stage, she goes, what the fuck's that girl's problem?

Yeah, yeah. That's so annoying. You're in the middle of trying out this new bit that I know who's working so hard for, and how she ruined the entire fucking thing. Yeah, that's a good girl. I love that she understands that. I mean, does she love it?

I'm sure she does, I'm sure. Who the fuck would. Yeah, yeah. But she's very calming and understanding, which is what I love so much about our relationship. That's why. It takes you a long way. I didn't want to get into a relationship at all.

With this tour beginning, I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to manage a relationship. And all it's done so far is just keep me grounded. I have one person to respond to and think about and focus on rather than being that touring comet like being that touring comet that's like, well, girl, can I fucking this city? You know? It's another thing where I remember like,

when we were, I was like, don't lose your mind. I met things like this, you know? I was like, yeah, you texted me and I was like, are you sure this is Tom Sikker? I couldn't, I was so happy that you reached out and I met a lot seriously. Well, I was happy for you, you know? It's fun to, like, these things when they happen,

they don't happen all the time. I feel like it's exciting, just for comedy. And I know you're a good guy, and I was like, I just wanted to reach out and be like, hey man, I hope you're managing all this well and this not overwhelming, but like. That meant a lot, because I get, I mean, as much positive attention as you see on the internet,

there's three times as much hate. Yeah, do you have a man I mean, as much as much positive attention as you see on the internet, there's three times as much hate. Yeah, do you have a man? It's wild right there. It's insane, man. Do you know, have you like figured out how to like, not digest all of it? No, no, that's it. That's it.

I'm so confrontational as a person, like it drives me insane. I can't beat the fuck out of these people. Yeah. But then you have to sit back and go Well, I'm really allowing these people to To actually to determine how I how I feel Draw my day. You got it. You got it. It's fucking pathetic. Exactly. You don't want to let them I mean nobody want nobody once Regardless of the situation in a matter how secure you are with yourself Doesn't feel good to know that many people don't fucking like you. Of course, of course, but it's also like, you know, like you're literally living your dream.

Yeah, of course. And it's like you can't let someone's bitterness or negativity suck that joy out of you. And it's almost always dude, which just tells me, like, it's like, okay, what are you actually mad about? Well, you know, you mad that I okay, what are you actually mad about? Are you mad that I'm having success or you mad the way that I look the way I do? It's everything. Like how much pussy do you not get?

For me just trying to make you laugh, upsets you. That's fucking crazy. It's really just, you know, it's like, it's mis-targeted emotion from somebody. They're just mad about something else and they found somebody they can go, I can put it over here, right? But like the funny thing is, it takes a while

and I remember this, because like I remember like when you have no exposure, nobody's like you're the worst than you suck because nobody knows you. Yeah. Like all your, you know, feedback is like people who know you. Yeah. And then it's like.

Some people get canceled 20 years later. Yeah, it's like this gradual thing though. Where it's like, that was great. That was, everyone's just like, you're great. And then like, you get your first pop of some exposure and you get someone being like, you fucking suck. And you're like, the first time you're like, what?

Like it's so, it's so, like startling at first. You're like, what are you talking, like you've never had someone do that. And I remember being like, I remember engaging people. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, yeah. All the time. Which is crazy because you would never do that in real life.

No, of course. If you see somebody performing on like the subway, playing violin or whatever, even if you think it's garbage, you don't walk by and go fucking kill yourself. No, I know. That's an insane tip to do. It's what the anonymity of the internet provides you.

But it's the same thing, it's like, people talk about the way that we talk about someone in the car in front of you. Damn, that's a really good thing. It's like the car in front of you, and you're like, what if we were walking? In the person walking, like, you would never. You would never.

That's a really good way to look at it. You wanna instinctually blame the internet for that false sense of security, but no, you're right, you do it in your fucking car. Oh, you say the most heinous things. Oh, yeah. You fucking piece of shit. You'll call a white person in the end world. Oh, yeah. the most heinous things. Oh yeah. Fucking piece of shit. You'll call a white person in the end world.

Oh yeah. Most of the time, yeah, every morning. Yeah, yeah. Free morning. Well, I get here. But my favorite thing is, as much as it's usually dude to give me shit, they have the most fun at my shows. Of course, dude.

My favorite thing is to watch the audience throughout my show, because it's all the same. It's all predominantly women, and then boyfriends who weren't gonna let the rules come alone, right? So every every guys like this the beginning of every show Every girlfriend's like this and then about 20 minutes in every girlfriend is like yeah, every boyfriend is like Yeah, all right. I actually I actually fuck with what he's talking about. I'm like dude. Just give it a chance I think we have very different fan bases. I'll trade you I have this thing like I meet sometimes people after shows and they'll be like the guy I'll be like, yo

Can I get a picture and I'm like, yes, sir, man? And then he's like babe and she's like I'm good I do I get the complete opposite I get the I get the husband being like I don't want they'll pay meat and gree and then be like, I don't want to picture with them. She wanted the phone call. By the way, just so it's clear, chicks yell out, fuck me Tom too at my shows, but when we turn the lights on, it looked like a fucking bassin' hammer. And we cut the lights.

It has happened. Dude, I've had like, brawls thrown at me on stage, like people bring signs of shit to shows now. They yell at the craziest things, and I'm just like, you wouldn't do this at Hamilton. You wouldn't yell out in the middle of a musical number, and be like, eat my pussy.

It is something that would stand out, and be like, hey man, shut up. Thomas Jefferson's black right now. Amuletist, or eat my pussy. That would be amazing. That's being at that Hamilton show. I'd be like, he might pussy. That would be amazing. That's beyond that Hamilton show. I'd be like, oh my God. It's crazy though, that, you know,

because you don't really think about this, that we usually see, and we've learned, especially in this era, do not objectify a beautiful woman. Right? Like people go like, do not, your thought might be this, but you do not say that to that woman. But it's so interesting that like, you're in this very unique position

where you get objectified. Oh yeah. And people say, wild shit. Like, no one feels bad for you. I'm not saying that to you. Not a single person. But it is a crazy thing to experience that people are saying that to you.

Oh, dude, I've had my nipple bitten. I've meet and greets, my ass grabbed all the time. Women will ask in front of my PR people, or the meet and greet people who run all of it. They'll ask, can I grab your dick and the photo and stuff? And I'm like, or I'll be on stage and somebody will be like, take your pants off. I'm like, imagine if Amy Schumer was up here

and somebody was like, let's see that clip. Like, you lit. You couldn't do it. Tell me you're lit. Yeah. Just challenge her to a thumb or a sun god petition in the middle of the fucking show. That is crazy, dude. That you couldn't do it. Yeah. So I mean, you're quit. Yeah. Just challenger to a thumb or a sun gop addition of the middle of a fucking show. That is crazy, dude.

That is crazy. It sucks. It's so annoying. But it's like, that's, my God. That is my price to pay for having an overwhelming fan base. Yeah. But again, that came to you in a year.

Yeah. That's the part that I'm like, it's very, that's what I'm impressed, honestly, Matt, with like how you've managed things. Because, you know, 27 is your young guy and, you know, this came to you in such a short time and you're managing, I mean, if I were you, I'm 27, I'd be like, I'm gonna get AIDS on this tour and I want it. I want AIDS. I would make it my mission. I'm like, if you don't have AIDS, don't even try to fuck it. I'm a weak by the third show.

Oh my God. Fuck. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's a, it's, it's, it's wild, dude. It's, it's a lot, but it's what, it's what you ask for. It is what you ask for. In look, I'm just telling myself, like if I can just get through June of next year, be as tired as you want for the next nine months.

The natural thing, I can just do things the way you do it. By the way, I was looking at my tour, the tour that I wrapped up and it was daunting. It was overwhelming. And I ended up just going like, I think the way to approach it to get through it is just week to week. Yeah. You can't look at the rock. You can't look at like, what's in four or five?

You got to go, what are we doing this week? Yeah. I wish I was taking more time to enjoy some of the stuff I'm doing like I'm like we're doing six shows at Radio City musical Two three nights so two two and two and I know each of those nights all I'm gonna Want to do is get off stage for the first show ago? Oh, let me just breathe it all of course, you know And I'm gonna go nope. I gotta go do another one right after this. Yeah, that's where it's so tired by the time It's all done. You don't want to do anything else. One of the things you have the ability to do

because we didn't have it much. Man, sometimes on the road, when there's a scheduled night off on the road, it's the greatest thing. Meaning we're doing shows Tuesday, Wednesday, and all of a sudden you go schedule Thursday, nothing, but then shows Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah.

It became like, I think we had like three like that, you know, just like randomly, but it was such a relief to be out there, but have nothing to do. I love that. Yeah. That's what I'm doing for all of September, because I'm doing like three back to back full weeks basically leading up to my special

I'm shooting in September. And we have like one day off in between each city city and I can't wait to just be in a different town with no response. With no response. It's a great thing to do. Did you do a bus? Yes. We're doing a bus in October.

I'm so fucking excited about it. You pick your bus out already? Uh, yeah. They're like, they like built it new. Uh, not as expensive as you might think. We're getting it wrapped. Uh, I think only fans designed it for. There's a smaller chart. No, just just chart as expensive as you as you might think we're getting it wrapped. I think only fans Is I just just just charting it's only fans is gonna wrap it. They are. Oh, yeah, dude

It's yeah, this bus is gonna look like bang bus for sure pretty excited about it dude I've only been on the bus Well, how long we want the bus for? What do you mean? How long like for the whole tour? Were you on it for like six? I mean you obviously you come back in between some shows. Yeah, I long? For the whole tour were you on it? For like six, not, I mean, obviously you come back in between some shows. But I mean, I had the bus for, from August of 21 until through December of 20th.

So like, the only time I didn't have the bus was I did my international leg at the very end. That's what we're doing. That's why I stopped it, you know, when that and then I had. So this year, I did Australia, New at the very end. That's what we're doing. That's why I stopped it when that, and then I had. So this year, I did Australia, New Zealand, South America, and Europe, and no bus. How was New Zealand? Unbelieveable.

Did you get to do anything fun while you were over there? Yeah, that's the cool thing about the international stuff, is you actually enjoy things more than you do domestically. Yeah. Because there are, all right, you flew fucking 16 hours. So there's two days of like nothing. Then it's like, you know, you're doing Perth and Sydney,

and then there's two days off. So you like, you actually, like, I mean, we rented bikes and went on bike rides. Bikes. You know, bikes, dude. And then, do you know how infamous that fucking line is now? It's, it's pretty crazy.

Walking down regular streets. It's, it's pretty do you know how infamous that fucking line is now? It's the secret. I'm here walking down regular streets. It's pretty crazy that I still get every week memes and like photos, people send me they're like, look at all these bikes and I go, yeah, I know. The genius. It's, yeah, it's very, it's, I can't believe that something has legs like that for like saying a word. What was the most fun thing you did while you were in New Zealand? I touristy wise.

I touristy wise. Let's see Because we did what did we do we did? Christ church Wellington you with a church with the church Christ are you religious? Why'd you go to Christ church? That's the name of the city. Oh Maybe don't skip out on college, just start a career comedy. Fuck. Yeah, I know.

Who the fuck names at that? It's a very strange name. Yeah. It's somebody named the town fucking Papa John. You'd also be confused. You would, you would. That's a very valid way. You can say whatever you want, that's it, yeah.

Yeah. Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, Christchurch is, uh, Christchurch is, uh, it's beautiful. I think they had a, they had mask, they're famous for like the massive earthquake. Oh, they also had a massive shooting, but we don't have to talk about that. Like massive or like American size. The shooting? Yeah. It was pretty terrible. Yeah. It was like a mosque shooting the crowd. Pull it up. Pull it up real quick. Pull it up real quick. Yeah. It was, it was horrible. Yeah, the mosque shootings. Yeah, geez. Oh,

I remember this. Yeah, it was terrible. Oh, there's a mosque in a town called Christ church. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can see how that could be confrontational. Yeah, it was pretty terrible, man. They also had a they also put in Christ church. Was it also a white kid? Was that was it also a white kid that the New Zealand one? Um, I'd be surprised. Uh, if it was or wasn't, yeah, it was a massive or, no, I would be surprised if it was. It was definitely a white guy. Um, major earthquake. Yeah, yeah, that was a. Oh my god. That was huge. That was in 2011. Um,

Oh my God. That was huge. That was in 2011. That's insane. I have to go. 185 people. It was really just like seeing the, the beauty, like the nature. Oh yeah.

Cause you know, I guess famous for us where they shot all the Lord of the Rings stuff. Have you been skydiving before? No. For a night. And you can, by the way, just so you know, you can go when you're in, I think when you're in Auckland, there's like a day trip you can take by the way, just so you know, you can go when you're in, I think when you're in Auckland,

there's like a day trip you can take to see like, where the shrinks are. Oh, yeah, we almost did. I went there this January for a friend's YouTube trip, right? We're out there for two weeks. He runs this YouTube channel that I met. This is, I'm gonna try to summarize this. We met because he runs a gigantic, successful YouTube channel called TFIL. He has a sub channel called the overnight channel that's like ghost hunting.

And I joined him for that. We've been all over the world ghost hunting. Seriously? We've been ghost guy. You love it, dude. Really? But I also biggest pussy elever me. I am so afraid of ghosts, but I wanna meet one.

You really are? Yeah, dude. So you're hunting them, but you're terrified. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like a scuba diver. It was like, I hope I don't fucking see his shark. I like it. Yeah, or you know, like any cop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Exactly. Okay, okay. So you go there. So we go to New Zealand for his other YouTube channel. It was, it's like basically an adventure channel. So he paid for all of us to go. We just had to go and film everything we were doing.

We were fun. And we went, we jumped off this giant building in the North Island when we were up there. Did you skydive? We were skydiving over. Is it the remarkable, those mountains? I don't even know. I believe it's what they're called.

That those are the mountains they filmed all like the exterior shots for Lord of the Rings and you see them hiking up the hills and shit. Wow. And when we were skydiving, they drop you over the mountains. So you fall from 15,000 feet. They're not the remarkable. From 15,000 feet. Not other remarkable. From 15,000 feet, you fall right next to the mountain.

You're falling like the entire length of mountain. Had you the most beautiful thing I ever seen? I had ever seen. Once before in Vegas with a group on. With a group on? Yeah. Yeah. If you think that's that, a dude showed up by himself.

Really? Yeah. I've never seen a more suicidal person in my entire life. He showed up by himself at, we went at 6 a.m. because we wanted to go with the sunrise. Sure. Which was beautiful. Yeah.

The guy showed up by himself. And they're like, are you waiting on anybody? He was like, nah. You're seeing those people having sex, why they skydived? Shut the fuck up. Yeah. How?

So it's so crazy. Like, so they started, like they get, the guy was a porn guy who also became a skydiving instructor, of course. Yeah, extremes. And then the girl was like, I want to do this. So they started banging in the plane to get ready for it. Of course. And then jump out, they are banging in the air.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is the aim to bust before you land? I think so. According to the guy, I mean the guy, he's like, she came like five times. You know, like I'm like, I think it's called a heart attack. Yeah, I think she thinks it's an aneurysm.

Yeah. But yeah, I think it was finished before you get that. I don't know. Do you think you could do it? No. Really? Well, I think, I'll tell you why that. I don't know. Do you think you could do it? No. Really? Well, I think, I'll tell you why I don't think you can actually, because when you go Scott, the harness cuts off all the circulation to your dick.

Yeah, they hurt so bad. So he was on the back, obviously. And yeah, I don't know, dude. It seems preposterous. There's videos of this? Yeah. Yeah. My Google history is going gonna look disgusting after this,

because I have to see the, because you're basically, like, you're babe, what? This is it. Yeah, this is it. So you're just baby-bjorned onto the front of somebody and there's not a lot of like hip action, you can really throw into that. But also, I don't know if I wanna go tandem ever again now.

Now I know. Or this is the only way I want to go from here on out. Pretty crazy. Jesus Christ. Skydiving, I don't know why it's a scandal. I guess it probably upset. Scandal. I probably upset a lot of the skydiving community maybe.

Well, I think it would upset whoever you're skydiving above, because imagine she squirts and then you see the hands on some fucking family. It's true. How do you explain that to somebody? This is true. So you didn't have sex when you skydive, but no, this isn't the most absurd thing I've seen porn-wise, though. I hosted the AVNs. You hosted it? Yeah. This, uh, we filmed it this past December and it aired in

an air like a month and a half ago. Wait a minute. Yeah. You shot it a few months ago. We filmed it last December. Okay. I mean, right before Christmas and New Year's, I thought you, okay, okay. Yeah, I think that's what it was, or very beginning of how did that come about? Like the somebody over at Showtime was a fan and they usually have a comedian host it. Yeah, yeah, I've known that for years.

I mean, I've seen so many comics do that. You're gonna see, I've seen so many of them. No, I've gone every year. I've never missed it. I have an audience to never. Yeah. Somebody just hit me up. They're like, hey, we want like a new, hot young,

I just have to bring some young energy to it. Yeah. And I was so excited. Yeah. And it was just terrifying. I'm sure it was. It was so much to absorb. Because I also had to present at the Gavians,

the night before. They must have eaten your ass up. Literally. Oh yeah, yeah, it was life changing. Cause I'm sitting front row watching most of the show and I couldn't help but laugh cause I've never seen so much dick. Cause it's like, it's playing on the screen.

Oh yeah, cause it's just like the Oscars. We know how like every time somebody's nominated for something, they'll show a scene of the movie. So they'll be like, I don't know, Johnny Mashed, nominated for, you know, cock of the year, whatever. And then they'll just show him going to town for like seven seconds.

You'll see eight more people and you'll be like, oh, I get it, yeah, talk of the town. It's alarming too. And then at the aviants, they're showing the porn clips too, this is okay. Oh yeah, it's aggressive. I don't think I watched porn for like four months after. Oh, bad, dude.

Can you, do you come out and just do a monologue? Like is that how it's like? Yeah, I had to go out there, do a little, I think I did, I did like 15 minutes up front. Did you do like your act? No, that was the, that was the scariest thing about it is because it's an all porn audience. And they're there for that.

Like they, they wanna hear jokes about their own industry. Yeah. Which is hard for a couple of reasons because one, every, every porn joke in the world's been told already. For sure. This is like the 20th anniversary of the show. And also, as much as it could be easy to make fun of that industry,

you have to be respectful. Because like this is their night. Like to them, this is the Oscars for them. Like as much as you want to poke fun, you have to be a little respectful. So, I mean, finding that line to walk was really fun, but scary because there was no place to test the material. What did you do?

15 minutes of untested material. Seriously? Wow, so you just like came up with it and then go, I'll just do it here for the first time. I was like, we'll just hope this works. And I'd say, I'd say 90% of it did. I was so lucky, so nervous, but so lucky. Didn't sleep with a single porn czar.

Everybody was like, you had to fuck just everybody. I was singing the doctor. Dude, I was so offended. When the show was over, sorry, when the show was over, I went to the after party and everything. When I tell you, nobody really talked to me at all, I go, it's fine, I was single, I was open to whatever might have happened. Sure. Maybe two, three weeks go by. I just

started getting hit up by so many porn stars being like, where were you that night? We all wanted to fuck you. And I was like, I couldn't have been more available. I was there. I was looking for y'all. Yeah. Never found me. Didn't have any fun whatsoever. Good, good to note. Yeah, never found me, didn't have any fault whatsoever. Good to note. Yeah, it's not what you think it is at all. Yeah, that's surprising. That is surprising. It was fun though. I remember I did at the improv in Melrose.

They're like, do you want to host this porn, like the vivid, oh yeah, the vivid award? No, like the vivid improv, it was just like vivid night at the emelrose Okay, this is like 2000 they would do a night. Yeah, it was like there. So I mean, what do I do? And they're like we show up and then like these two girls are gonna go on stage with you. I was like All right, I mean look it was like They were nice, you know, they're porn stars.

Uh-huh. And so like, they did like, essentially like, presentation kind of stuff, but it wasn't like, worked out, it was kind of sloppy, you know what I mean? Well, yeah, I mean, you ever watch porn? It's like, it's ever rehearsed. No, it's everyone's first take. And I was like, all right, and then I,

but I fucked up in that, I was like, first of all And I was like, all right. And then I, but I fucked up in that, I was like, first of all, I was pretty inexperienced. I mean, I'm like four, five, oh yeah, I don't really know, but I was doing like disrespectful shit. Because I thought that's, you know. Yeah, you thought, yeah, you thought that'd be it. I was like, here's, you know, the fucking Janice who has traded her stardom for her dignity,

give it up for, and then she was like, oh my gosh. I was like, that's a funny transition, right? And then I was like, you know, this chick from the hit series, if the balls fit, suck them, you know? Like, which was a real name, a title of this, I looked her up, I was like, I was like, real class act, you know?

I'm sure the whole fam's proud to go and give it, and it let her take them and she was like, oh no,, you know, I'm sure the whole fam's proud to go and give it and it let her take the money. She was like, oh no, dude, they take it so seriously. But I was also, I mean, to be fair, I wasn't like trying to be a dick. I was trying to be funny. Of course. And I'm like a few years in to stand up

and I go like, I think this is the way to do this. Like kind of punch, you know. But it's such a specific demographic that you're going to, you don't know how to navigate that. You don't know if they're in on the jokes or if they're taking too seriously. The funny thing is that after all these years, we've had like porn people do bits for like our live shows.

And I don't think there's a more respectful like group of people that like come to like when they come to like they'll hit me up. Hey, we all want to come to the show and I'm like, Oh, like you want tickets? Like, Oh, no, we bought they always like we bought tickets. Oh, you know, and they if they meet you after shows, it's always like the most polite. Thank you so much. Do you mind if we take a photo?

We have the best time. And because it's usually like Vegas or something. Yeah. I've and they're like they do these they've done bits for us that like it's it's a it's usually like Vegas or something. Yeah. And they do these, they've done bits for us that like, it's not what you expect to the industry, but they are amongst the nicest people that I've met are people from that industry. Oh, I love that.

It's true, they really are. Do you have a worst group that they come to shows? Family? Oh man. God is there anything more? I wish I could trade my family for a bunch of porn stars. I mean, you can.

I mean, yeah, I mean, no, it's the worst. They really fucking, family just, you know, they just like, they don't understand that you're working. That's, I think that's the thing is that those, those adult industry people are like, this is this person's work. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

But I can't stand when my mom comes to a show and I'm doing that. The worst. The worst. The worst. The worst. But also like moms and like and family members are like, you know, where do we park?

And you're like, I'm at this door. They don't know. I want to sit here. Where do I get a drink? So when are you, can I, and you're like, dude, like you know that I'm actually, this is my job, right? Like, so really, really funny quick story when I was, I think, I might have still been 15,

maybe just turned 16. So like my first year doing stand up. I cannot believe. It's, it's like five people I know of who were like that. Insane, and I, and most of them are still alive. So I like my odds. When I was about 15 or 16, I was, I was, I was a, this is before I ever met him really,

I was a huge Ralphie Mae fan. Yeah. And he was coming, I lived in Columbus. He was performing at Hilarities and Cleveland. And it's at Twitter on Twitter, you get, this is at the time when Twitter was so accessible, you could reach anybody. Yeah.

So I would just tweet to Ralphie Mae, we would go back and forth sometimes. And I was like, hey, I see you're gonna be a hilarities. I've heard of this thing called a guest spot. I'd never done one before, but I was like, could I do that? And he was like, yeah, you know what? You're on the same age as I was when I started out. Like, come on down. And it was in like three weeks or something like that.

My mom and my aunt were who were gonna go with me to drive up, there's about three hour drive. So I get their perspective But they made me ask so many questions. What time do we need to be there? Where do we go? Do we need to buy tickets? You need to say reserve tickets? I reserve seats all the kind of stuff that eventually he said hey, man. This is just too much Let's raincheck this for later down the road and he canceled my guest spot because my my mom made me kept asking I can tell me like it, don't worry about it.

It's going to be fine. Yeah. And she's made me ask so many questions. And that, but now you get it. You get it. I fully get it. I'm like, just show up. Just show up.

Somebody will come to find you if you get lost. It'll be fine. Ask me these fucking questions. Do it. It's so ridiculous. My grandma came to my show in Bend, Oregon. Have you done the amphitheater out there? In Bend, Oregon.

I don't think so. It has been to Bend, Oregon. I don't fucking, beautiful. Really? You will love it. I promise you. I think I've done, I mean, obviously I'm Portland, I've done Eugene,

you know, University, University. Oh yeah, yeah. But I don't think I've done Bend. If you get a chance to go out there, it's a beautiful town. And the summer and winter's two totally different towns. It's beautiful. They have a gorgeous amphitheater out there.

With the best sound system, I think I've ever witnessed in my entire life. Yeah. My grandma came out there and I was just, I was drunk on stage, which I never do. I'd never drink, but when performing. You're talking about fingering girls and your grandma. Oh, yeah.

I talked about how my grandpa said he fucked Rosa Parks in the front of the bus. Oh my God. It was like a whole thing. Yeah, I was doing all this ridiculous stupid stuff. And she comes afterwards and I was like, I love the fingering joke. And I was like,

Shuh, please don't stop listening to my show. It is crazy. It is so uncomfortable. You think of like whenever you see an old person, you're just like, they're sweet and they're old. And you don't know if that old person was like the blowjob queen just a few years prior. Oh for sure.

Yeah, like I've swallowed so much coming. You're like, yeah. Dude, I hear stories all the time about how my great-grandmother was like the biggest whore in the world. Really? Great-grandmother. My great-grandmother, who only died maybe,

I'd say seven years ago, if that. From fucking, probably. She was, she had dementia really bad to the point where she didn't remember her husband or none of my family members. We would go visit her in hospice and she would like flirt with me. Really?

Oh yeah, dude. Oh, and she'd have on this sexy nightgown too, they're like, even I was like thinking about it. It was, no, no, no, she was fucking, she was out of her mind, but every story she, I had ever, I had ever been told about her. I was like, oh yeah, for sure. She's a hoe.

Yeah, your grandmother is a fucking hoe. My parents would tell me all these diseases she had. Oh my God. Yeah, she, but how she like cheated on my great grandpa multiple times, but he loved her so much that he stayed with her and all the disease. It was insanity, dude. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. Nasty stuff. Nasty grandma. That is crazy. Also fun fact, every woman in my family has had a kid before 20. For like eight generations back.

Yeah. Really? My family would be fucking, dude. How old was your mom when she had you? 19. No, she had just turned 20 by like two months when she, when I was delivered. Yeah.

Wow, so dude, your mom is young. Yeah, my mom, she just turned 48. Holy shit, I really could be your dad. That's so crazy. I'm 44. Fuck, yeah, you good. Yeah. That's terrifying.

I know. But you know what's crazy? It's like that, that kind of never registers to me because because I've been in standup for so all of my friends are late 30s Yeah, yeah, I have like I guess my core starting like did you I mean you obviously were a huge standup fan Mm-hmm, and you're what and then when did you like I'm gonna go try this like you're 15? I was a huge fan of Dane Cook and Dave Chappelle when I was like 12, 13, 14. And my mom won tickets on the radio to see Dane at Nationwide Arena in Columbus.

It was like nosebleed seats obviously, but I was just like, so I went all of the show. It was incredible. And since that moment, I was like obsessed with it. So then a couple of weeks go by, there's a talent show at school. I'm like, how I want to try it. So I do it there. And of course it was terrible. But you got balls, dude'm like, how, I wanna try it, so I do it there. And of course it was terrible. But you got balls, dude.

But, oh, I mean, it was awful, dude. I was doing all this raunchy jokes that I got off the internet in front of my classmates. It was ballsy, though. Well, I was so naive. It's like, you don't think of it as brave when you don't know that there could be consequences. True, true, true.

And then when I was 15, I found out what an open mic was and I just emailed the Columbus Funnybone stroop. And I was like, hey, I know you have to be 21 and up, but like I really wanna try what an open mic is. Like, can I come if I had like my parents with me or something and he happened to say yes, and ever since then it's just been comedy after one and go week.

So you were going back all the time. Every Wednesday, how were your parents about it? Were they supportive? Like they were like, yeah, my mom was like very supportive about it, but just in the sense of like extra-curricular activity. Nobody thought anything was gonna come of it. Did she give commentary to your sets? No, but my grandpa would.

It would be my grandpa and my mom who would take me and my grandpa would be the one to like, cause they were bringer open mics. You had to have five people buy tickets. So my grandpa would buy five tickets. So the club doesn't know any different. They just think five people are in there for you. But in his eyes, I could do like no wrong.

Like every set I have, he'd be like, I really like the thing he said about this. It also took me about five months to hear what a set was. So every week I was going up doing new five minutes because I had no idea you were supposed to keep a real important work. Yeah, it was ridiculous. So you're just like, here's a new five.

Yeah, I was, I don't understand how people do a new hour, every single night. I had no idea. Yeah, that makes sense. But it's a fun learning experience. But my mom didn't know fucking, she still really doesn't understand at all. Really?

No, she understands that she has a house now. She's a house. When I tell you, when I told her like, hey, things are going really well, I wanna make sure you're taking care of. You don't have any bills to pay for the rest of your life. I gotta wanna get you a house. She was like, oh, that's, oh, that's,

I'm so lucky. Thank you so much, whatever. Nine days go by, right? I get a call. Do you get the link that I sent you? I go, what, what you saying? Oh, I sent a, I sent a Zillow link. I go, oh, you've been looking for houses.

Okay, fantastic. Let me take a look at it. What you saying? I sent a zillow link. I go, oh, you've been looking for houses? Okay, fantastic. Let me take a look at it. Tom, my mom lives in an apartment that she smokes in the bathroom of. Uh-huh. And she sends me a link for a nine-bedroom, three and a half million dollar house

with horse stables. What? I go, you don't even know nine people. Who's gonna live in this fucking house? Yeah, this is crazy. She goes, well, in case any of you guys want to click come home for the holidays or something. Come home for the holidays.

I haven't come over the holidays in six years. You'd think I'm gonna go when I have to fly into Atlanta airport? Are you out of your fucking mind? Mom, you're out of your mind. And I go, I go, the horse stables, she goes, well, that's why it's so expensive. I go, who's horses?

She goes, well, you know, I've always wanted horses. I go, yeah, she's always wanted my real dad back. But like, sometimes you have to be logistic about these kind of things. My mom is 48 years old. She's always injured, always. She has, she has what's it called vertigo? Where she can barely stand up right for most of the time.

I'm like, you're gonna learn to take care of horses the 48 years old, and you're gonna do it. After who's gonna buy the horse? So you bought the house in the barn. But a different house. Okay. Way less expensive version. Way less bedrooms.

Yes. Four bedrooms for her and her boyfriend to live in, by themselves. She goes, oh, I gotta have a pool for who? He goes, well, I've always wanted, she goes, I want a pool. I go, I've known you for 27 years. Never seen your hair wet.

Never seen you, I've never seen you take a bath. That's hilarious. I've never seen my mom anywhere near water. Now all of a sudden she's like, I don't want a house unless I have a pool. That's crazy. So fucking ridiculous. Did you get the pool?

No, I didn't get the pool. I got a house with a lake behind it. That's a big pool. A big pond behind it. And then she still goes, yeah, and they said the land is totally okay to install a pool if we want. I go mom, I love you, but your white trash, you're gonna take this above ground pool

like an adult and enjoy it. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing, dude. It's amazing that you're like, I'm gonna, things are all right. And she's like, here's a three and a half million dollar. Yeah, this is like, are you out of your mind? Yeah.

Like, you're not getting a better house than what I would get for myself. That's insane. My mom is like, so wired this way too. The same way. Totally. What's crazy, my mom isn't like that. My mom is so simple and that's what I love about her.

And then she hits me with this expensive taste. I think that's a kind of an act from moms. You think so? Kind of, yeah. You'll see it more now as you'll be working at this level. But like, my mom is like, I of, yeah. You'll see it more now as you'll be working at this level. But my mom is like, I'm very simple. I like, nothing special.

And you're like, all right. And then she wants a car. It's like, what kind of car do you want? Mercedes likes it. Okay. Then she was like, let's swap it out. I want a different, this is like a month later. I'm like, swap it out. You fuck, it's swap it out. I want a different, this is like a month later. I'm like, swap it out.

He's fucking, it's not a dress. Like, I mean, and then it's like, you know, I like simple things. Oh, okay, you know, I'm flying you to the things at first class. Yeah, of course, where are we staying? I'm at four seasons. Oh, that's nice.

I was walking through the hotel lobby. I saw these earrings that I would love to have them. I'm like, all right. Can I have them? You're like, sure, gets them. And then she's like, I kind of don't want these. And you're like, wait, wait a minute. So what you learn, with my mom,

it's that it's about the get. Like, it's like almost like an addiction where it's like, I want the thing. Then she gets the thing and she's it's like, I want the thing. And she gets the thing and she's like, I want another thing. It's very like hard to fulfill. It was like this growing up where she's like, I went to like TJ Maxx today and I bought these 10 things on clearance for like a dollar 50 each and you're like, okay, good for you. And the next day, like, we do, I'm going back to TJ Maxx return all those things. It's like this okay, good for you. Yeah. And the next day, like, we do it.

So I'm going back to TJ Maxx return all those things. It's like this chase, you know? And that, or she goes like, can I get, can I get this thing, these shoes? And you're like, all right. And then she gets them and she's like, oh, well, like that was the, I got them. Then the, now like the dopamine kind of fades away.

And she's like, I need like a new check. You know what I mean? And she sees me as just like the fucking central bank. So she's just like, what else can I get? And because you're a son, you're like, how do I say no? Yeah, I mean, I just sometimes I'm just like, you're out of your mind, get out, I don't even answer her, you know?

Oh, that's all I was about the houses. She sent more and more, she was like, all of them were like two million above. And I was like, you don't need this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop being ridiculous for a moment, which caught me so off guard because my mom is, She was like, all of them were like two million above and I was like, you don't need this. Stop being ridiculous for a moment. Which caught me so off guard because my mom is, I don't think she had more of that actually.

I wish she wanted more. She's so simple. She doesn't really ask for anything that isn't essential to her. Is she grasping AIDS or something like that? Yeah, she had words hearing aids. She's had like some dental problems, stuff like that, so I've gotten our new teeth and stuff.

So she doesn't ask for anything extravagant, she doesn't ask for any experiences or trips, which is what I wish she asked for more. I try to get her to do experience more stuff because I feel like she doesn't live much. Which is a lot more for my family. You'll get her to do some of those things, I bet. I think so.

Maybe she'd do some of them together too. Like I brought, she flew to LA like the summer before COVID for the first time and I was so excited to take her around to see all the touristy things. And a lot of people don't realize there's not a lot to do in LA as a tourist. Right.

There's like the key five to seven things that like, okay, Hollywood Boulevard, Santa Monica Pier, maybe the Griffith Observatory, or something like that. But you can do all that in a weekend. And it's not much else to do. I took her to go do all those things, and she was all, I took her to Hollywood Boulevard,

she goes, it's not like the movies. Yeah, yeah. I go, now, it's not, she's not impressed by much. So I wish she wanted to go do more things, but she doesn't express what those interests are. I don't know what a lot of my mom's interests are, like once are. Interesting. And I wish she wanted to go do more things, but she doesn't express what those interests are. I don't know what a lot of my mom's interests are like once are. Interesting.

And I wish I did, but she also might not have any. Some people are just so blue collar that like their whole life is wake up, go to your nine to five, come home, cook dinner, watch TV every day for the rest of your life. You're so happy with that. Yeah, I mean, but also like, you know,

maybe getting some of the opportunities presented will change some of those things. Yeah, very well could be. I mean, it could be like, you know maybe getting some of the opportunities presented will change some of those things Yeah, very well could be I mean it could be like you know Hey, mom you were been a why or something. Yeah, you've been naked skydiving. There you go You're banged from the skydiving instructor from She's like actually that's a very cool idea actually. I'll tell you just how I would love to open up the shoot Above a barn with horses and then oh my god I'm gonna fucking throw up. I

tell you how white trash and Non-extroverted my mom is like this is how bad she is at going outside and talking to other people. Yeah She just found out maybe a maybe a year ago that her current boyfriend used to be her second cousin. Used to be? Yeah, through marriage. Oh, okay. And that marriage got divorced. Okay.

But I was like, there's eight billion people in the world. You just found this out. God of fuck this guy. Yeah. Who you might have met at some point in your life before? Probably. How long have they been together now? Like two years, I think. Okay.

Yeah, man. So, do they, are they grasping like your mom, especially what's happening with you? Like, they get it. I think they know I have, like, I think they know I'm doing well. Yeah. But I don't think they understand like,

the full extent. Yeah, don't tell them. What do you mean? Don't explain to them exactly. Just let them. Well, it's hard because who do I revel in the accomplishments with? You know that I'm gonna ask be my friends. Yeah.

My mom doesn't get it at all. Don't break it down for her. She'll be like, oh, get me that fucking barn. Like, yeah. Yeah. Dude, you know what she settled for instead of a horse's? Goats. Oh, she's got goats now.

She wants goats, so eventually she'll get some fucking goats. You're gonna, believe me, you don't want it or no. Don't just be like, I'm working. I just want her to be proud for the right reasons. Yeah, I'm sure she is, man. I mean, it's gotta be, you know, it's gotta be a thrill. Like I have kids that are young, but it's got to be so thrilling for a parent

to see that happen. How many kids do you have? Two. Two boys. The boys. Five and seven. Five, seven. And what are their interests at this age?

The seven year old likes video games. She likes Roblox, Minecraft. Okay. He's really into that stuff. That's all very normal. Yeah. Okay. Little math was, he's a cool eccentric kind of kid, like great.

Autistic? Of course not. Autistic, not. Okay, just good stuff, okay? Just good stuff. And then the five year old, it's just cars. It is cars. There's the autism.

Got it. Got it. Cars it's just cars. It is cars. There's the autism. Got it. Got it. Cars, cars, cars, cars. And I thought, I like cars as a kid. This dude gets into cars, turns them on. Like, and people are like, turns them on. He's like, is there a clutch? And then he just pushes the clutch, turns the car on,

revs the engine, turns it off. He's like, what other cars you got? He gets on. Really? We went to a place he turned on 40 cars and the He's like, what other cars you got? He gets on. Really? We went to a place he turned on 40 cars and the guy was like, what the fuck is happening? Where'd you go? There's 40 cars.

There was like a car dealership. You know, and they were like, he's turning on every car. I go, if you let him, yeah. Yeah. He's coastlining on this. Yeah. He will start every car.

Is he of a favorite car? The funniest thing is, I go like, what's your favorite car? He's like Toyota. And I go, he just knows name brand. Yeah, he knows, he knows like 40 names from their emblems. And he's like, oh, there's a superhero. I'm like, Jesus, how do you know this shit? But he goes, I go, what's your favorite car? He's like, Toyota. He's like, will you get one? I go, no way. He has no concept that he can do better than Toyota. What are you talking about? You see my cars, what are you talking about?

Toyota, he's like, I love Toyota. That's so funny. I love that he's nerdy about it. It's such a young age. Loves it. It is the only thing he gives a shit about. Really? Totally.

That's autism, man. And at the end of the first, have you had him tested? Yeah, you did have him tested? No! Come on, man. No, he's furious. No, he's serious. No, he's, I don't think he's a test. He's pretty like, because he likes cars that much.

Yeah, man, two concentrated on one thing is a little concerning. Like, he's either autistic, which is awesome or he's working on a manifesto. Oh, fuck. Handstring right now. Yeah, hamstring cramped. Fuck.

God, I know. And you have a baseball on the back of your leg? No, I'm holding it. Hamstring just cramped up. We did deadlift before I came here. By the way, you look great, man. Thanks, bro. You look fantastic.

Thanks, man. How much are you down over the past like year? The past year, probably like, around 40 pounds or something. That's incredible. Well, maybe you want to make that change. Just being sick of it. Of just being fat. That's incredible. What made you want to make that change? Just being sick of it. Of just being fat. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, just like, or just being like, you know, you feel like unfulfilled, pretend like you're just like, I know I could do better. Yeah. And you're always is bothering you. Like you're not like, oh, this is great. Yeah.

But you're like, I'd like to do, like these half ass versions of it. Yeah. You know, eat clean I'd like to do, like these half-ass versions of it. Yeah. You know, eat clean for like a week or two or like work out for five days. Yeah. And then you're like, I don't know, you just write back to your things.

So it was just like, I just wanna address this. So it was just like, slowly going after something, you know? Now, do you feel like it's affected you on stage, like being in better shape or because you're so established, you've been established as a comedian, people already respect your comedy. I don't think you get any shit beyond like, all Tom's change, you got skips now.

Yes, he's trying to be something else now. Yeah, but I completely dismiss and ignore that, like 100%. You know, I mean, yeah, it's dudes, which is insane. Yeah, they go bring back fat Tom. Why? Because they go like, that's when I found you or that's what I liked you more than you were fun.

I'm like, this is nonsense. Because the way I look, that's fucking insane. It's nonsense. I just, I completely, I mean, I'll never entertain it. I don't pay any mind to it. I don't respond to it. I'm better than I am. Dude, I'll copy and paste tour dates in a comment section

to be like, pull up, pussy. Like, I'll do, I'm waiting to fight somebody out of venue. I can't fucking wait. Okay. Can't not fucking wait, dude. You gotta let that go, dude. I know, I know that's me being 27 and he got just to cool, but it's just like, I can't stay.

I threaten to fuck somebody's grandma one time for talking to him to her. Just like, I can't stay. I thought in the fuck somebody's grandma one time for talking to him to. I'd be him to. Because she said some shit to you. The grandson said some shit to me. What'd he say? I was in Chicago. It was summer of 2021 and he just started going in on,

you know, typical shit. You're not funny, not funny, not funny. You know, it's kind of shit. And I had time. Which is a huge misconception, by the way. When people, people's instinctual rebuttal on the internet is go, oh, you have all this time to respond to people. Yeah, man. I woke up at 4 p.m. Didn't have to work till 8. I have so much time. I have time. Right. So we start to go back and forth and you're saying all this, all this means shit. So I go

to this profile, obviously, which is what you do when you have it on online beef. You go, yeah, I got to find some ammo. And he had posted a picture with his grandma and I was in Chicago. And he also happened to be in Chicago. So I DMed his grandma like the nastiest, freaky, I should I could think of, like trying to smash. Like I was like, I'm gonna come in your IV,

like the nastiest I could think of, like deliver some deep dick pizza, whatever Chicago puns I could think of. And he was fucking live. Yeah. He was like, I'm gonna fucking find you. I'm gonna fly to one of your shows. And I was like, cool, I'll buy you two tickets.

One for you in your grandma. I'll just come through, dude. Yeah. Sometimes I never answered it. But I was like, I wanted his family to know that they raised them getting pussy. Yeah. I did one time, a guy was like, like your fat or something. So I went to his profile.

And the picture was him and his mom. And his mom was a pretty big lady, so I just wrote to him, I go, is the pig in your profile your mother? And he wrote back LOL, and I was like, is that a yes? And he was like, yeah, I was like, so you have your dishing this out, and that's the fucking person that bred you

of fucking issues, a literal fucking animal. Yeah. So, I don't know, that was fun, you know. Dude, the courage of people on the internet is, of course, shocking, and they don't want unbelievable of this. No, the show, show them what happens. What the fuck?

You don't want this? It's not, man. Just trolls that live at home talking the most amount of shit. Of course, of course. But that's what I'm saying is that like, you know, people say what, like all this stuff, I don't know, dude, you got like,

I'm focused on all these other things. And I go like, I really don't have time. I don't want even one that was like entertaining. I'm like, okay, yeah, I don't know, I don't know why I can't. You will. You'll let it go because it's gonna be the more you're working and the more opportunities you get

and the more things you have going on, you'll realize you have less time and less interest in responding and engaging. It just makes it hard to navigate who you want to be, I think, because if so many people think you're this and expect you to be this, it's really hard to not who you want to be, I think, because if so many people think you're this and expect you to be this, it's really hard to not turn into that. You go, well, you're gonna think of an asshole anyway,

why not just be an asshole? But if I'm being nice and you already think of an asshole, you're having this incredible success, right? And then you think about, think about like Taylor Swift, Tom Cruise, somebody with an enormous, like following. I mean, if someone's like, Taylor Swift, your music sucks,

do you think that she's like, I need to fucking engage this person? Yeah. No, right? Why? Because she's like, I have better things to do. I'm doing a stadium tonight, and another one tomorrow,

and I'm like, I'm focused on my work, and another one tomorrow, and I'm like, I'm focused on my work, hey Tom Cruise, your movie sucks. Okay. Yeah. I have fucking five more in production coming. Like, you know, there's a point where you're just gonna be like, yeah, I'm a pretty busy guy with a lot going on.

Yeah. And if you think I suck, God bless. I got things to do. I think it's just scary how much power those kind of people do have because there's a subculture of cancel culture. Like getting canceled is due to something you did, or at least allegedly did, right?

But there's a subculture of people who like, you didn't do anything wrong, but people just don't like you enough that they go, let's all collectively get together. If we all just talk about how much we fucking hate this person so much, it'll spread. For a given example of that, and it's really not fair, and I'm guilty of it, is like, I met John Mayer the other night,

right? At MSG with Shepel. Yeah. And I'd never met him before. I wasn't the most familiar with his music, but all I had ever heard was that he was a douchebag. I heard he was an asshole and a douchebag the entire time. So my impression of him, without knowing him,

was I was like, I heard he's an asshole. I don't know if I want to meet him or whatever. And he came up to me, it was the nicest guy ever. And I was like, I immediately felt such guilt that I had any kind of preconceived notion of whatsoever. But it realized I was like, that's just spreads. People are not liking you is contagious. Even if there's for no reason whatsoever, and that's the kind of stuff that could make

its way to not just regular people who are going to come out who were thinking about coming out to shows, and then somebody told them I was an asshole and they go, oh, well, then maybe I don't want to spend the money to come see him. And that can make its way into studio heads and networks. I can't tell you something. I'll tell you something about that though. You have zero control over that Zero you have zero control over what people say about you especially When your profile grows and is at a large but you have zero here's what you do control who you are as a person How hard you work at your craft how you you treat people, like those things you do control.

So if everyone's like Matt's an asshole, he's a cunt of a person blah, blah, blah. And you're like, you know what, I'm nice to people. I treat people with respect. Then you know that that narrative is a false narrative and the most you can do, best you can do is ignore it and keep being a good person, keep treating people well. Keep putting on the best shows

you can put on, and that's who you are. You're not who people say you are, you know who you are. Yeah, I think I need to focus less on, how can I get everybody on my side? You can't, rather than just being like, okay, if I have, let's say, 16 million people that follow me on TikTok, I have 16 million fans on this thing, right?

Why don't I just focus on pleasing those people who have given me the career that I've had? I mean, it's like, you know what, when people are like you suck, I think the thing to really think is you go, there's some people that think I'm pretty great, and guess what, I'm gonna play to them. Yeah.

I'm gonna play to them and enjoy this experience with them, and these people who are like, you're the worst, be like, all right, there's a whole bunch of other people, I hope you find someone you enjoy. Yeah. And then just, you know, enjoy what you have. Yeah, the only thing I've been focused on is like, I would love to get more guy fans

and they're coming in. They're trickling and slurping, they're gonna come in, man. I'll send some your way. Call for the love of God. Send some of that hot tail over here. That has a Netflix special coming out in November called Natural Selection. You're gonna shoot it in. I'm shooting it end of September, Matt has a Netflix special coming out in November called natural selection.

Yeah. You're going to shoot it in. I'm shooting it end of September, September 22nd and 23rd in Washington DC. At the Constitution Hall. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing place. So excited, man.

It's so cool. Very happy for you. Happy for all your success. So much going on. Don't lose your mind. Don't get AIDS. Have fun out there. Get your mouth out of those horses.

And I'm going to do it, no, it was really fun. Thanks for coming by today, dude. It was a great time. Thank you, ma'am. It was great to chat with you. Yeah, hope we do it again. All right, see you guys next week. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call to bears one cave