2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Women Have It Good w/ Yannis Pappas | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 183

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

SPONSORS:- Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Tom Segura is joined by guest bear Yannis Pappas on this week’s 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss the old times, speeding, homelessness, exclusivity and wait for things, their experiences in therapy, and how Yannis is cheating on his therapists, and very cool guys Greg Hardy, Ray Rice, Woody Allen, and Bernie Madoff. Yannis also shares the story of how he got shot, and his experience recovering from it.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

Are you gonna name this the case for Ray Rice? Or why we should get rid of equal rights? It's like, what's he gonna do? I don't know, he could fucking crack your head while opening, you know? I can't believe that! Wait, fuck, this is how he fives out! What if this is how he fives out? This fucking hilarious!

You can go to prison for that, like now? 100% This episode of Two Bears, one cave is brought to you by Sotva. I am the huge proponent fan of Sotva because I've been sleeping on a Sotva for over a decade. Over 10 years I've tried the whole product line and I can guarantee that you will have an improvement over your current homeless mattress that you sleep on, even if you don't think it is compared to what Sapa gives you. So, stop sleeping outside, move indoors with the rest of us and get a high quality, environmentally

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Let him hear it. Good to be. Make sure you watch Mom Love available on YouTube. Yes. You also have another one on YouTube? I got another one on YouTube. Yeah, and please I'll be in the Wilber Theater on July 8th and the Paramount and Sony Hall in New York.

Paramount in Long Island. So go to yonispappis.com. Yonispappis.com, many dot com for tickets. I forgot my own website. You forgot your own website. That was, those are all three great venues, by the way. I've been to all three of those. They're amazing.

The Wilber is also like, have you been to Wilbur? It's my first time doing the Wilbur. I'm excited. And I feel like that is like one of the milestones of being a comedian is doing the Wilbur. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. It's a special room, you know?

Yeah. It's really cool. Yeah, I feel like I'm like, right now I'm like, those numbers are starting to creep up. Thanks to all you guys who are having me on. So it's not known. The Wilbur is one of those like milestones, we're like, yeah, okay. It those numbers are starting to creep up. Thanks to all you guys who are having me on. So it's not a no, man. The Wilbur's one of those like milestones, we're like, yeah, okay. It's, it's rad, it's rad.

It's like, it's theater, you know, it's a proper theater, but it has club feel, and there's not that many rooms like that. Yeah. A lot of some of the, there's some theaters that are like around that same size that feel enormous, but that feels like they're right upon you, because it's old. And there's not that many old, like the old ones are, old ones have a shitty entrance in, shitty green rooms,

you know, like you duck into things, because everybody was like five, two when they built it. But the cool thing is that they built it for whatever was the acoustics of that era, which means that it was all built like, you know, with sound as a priority. So everybody's like on top of you. Yeah.

And there's not that many rooms like that. Because they didn't have amplification back there. No. So they built it good. Yeah, they built it good. I mean, the seats are probably, you know, they have big, good seats. There's some of the old ones too, like they have shitty seats, or there'll be like a column in the middle of the theater.

And people are like, I have to sit behind this. They're like, it's fucking 1908 when they built this what do you want nobody can play back that shut up yeah they had so many things to worry about they've always forgot one thing like oh man there's a pole in the middle oh yeah huge pole in the middle this place yeah we haven't figured out how to structurally keep it up without a pole in the middle having your three your kids died from the plague is this pole really a big like yeah it's right it's like I'm sorry for God my family died from plague I'm a little distracted I'll just sit and listen to the show you're right God I never thought about how much did they have anxiety back then or they just

said I had more of an acceptance of death could happen at any moment I've thought about this a number of times and I think you know like there's people now if you say someone died, they're like, the way that death hits people is like, oh my God, death was so common, it had to be just like, what'd you have for lunch? It had to be just, how was your family well, you know, two of the kids died, my wife died, my parents were dead, my sister died.

And people were like, yeah, I had a bunch too that died. And then they're like, doesn't it grade that we're not dead? I don't think they were just like... And then they were probably just like, you want a coffee? Or like, yeah, it was probably like very normal, yeah. And then it's probably like, how the three of them got sick, the flu and stuff, and then, you know,

a couple of the kids got murdered. Because people would also kill everybody over anything. Yeah, there was no ring cameras back then. So it was very easy to break into people's houses. No, no lawsuits. Yeah. I don't even know how anyone got any sleep back then.

What did you imagine sleeping without knowing that the cops had to come to your house on a horse or something, or they'd run? Sometimes they had to run there. And then there was no way to call him. You'd have to blow a conker or something. I don't know how did you call the cops back to the day. You just had to be ready to kill, too.

You'd be ready to fight. Yeah, and it's like you weren't like throw the dukes up. You know, you're like, I have this fucking bayonet and I'm just gonna shove it into somebody and hopefully die. That's it. Yeah. We'd all be dead. Joe Rogan might be alive hopefully die. That's it. Yeah. We'd all be dead.

Joe Rogan might be alive. He'd be able to, yeah. A lot of us would be dead. A lot of us would be dead. Yeah. A lot of us would be dead. And I know the ones that are still alive, you had a body count.

You know what I mean? If you were alive right now at your age, and I was like, how many people have you killed, you'd be like, I don't fucking know. First of all, we'd be like great-grandfathers. At this point. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. We would. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, people lived to be 30. You were making life decisions, like real decisions at 15. Yeah, you were. Yeah, I think Alexander the great conquer the world at 21. I mean, how nuts is that he He was 21 and he was like,

that he conquered the known world. He was like the leader, he was like a grown up man. At 21, I was like, you know, drinking brews. I think I had syphilis. I don't, it was like, I was in college. I was taking antibiotics. Yeah.

I was not, you know, at 15, you would have a lady, and probably a couple of kids. Yeah. And people would be like, you know what? You did all right. You did all right. You did all right. Have you noticed how we've gotten more advanced?

Like the older people are looking younger and younger? Like I'm wearing the same outfit. I think I wore when I was 12, 14. And then you look at old pictures and you see like a 14 year old kid he's in like a three piece suit. Oh yeah. Yeah, he looks like Winston Churchill. It was a place, the thing that bought,

you know, they ran and swept everything. Did it bother your dad the way society dressed as he got, you know what I mean? Like in his later years? Yeah, I think he was just perplexed by it. I mean, he was in the, my dad had me later. He was like, like people do now, you know? Yeah. So my dad had me when he was like 46, 47. He fought in the Korean War. Yeah. And so it was just weird for him. He was like, you know, I was 24 and I

was just like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. He was like, by the time I was 24, I fought in three wars. Yeah, I had four grandkids. I had started two law practices. Yeah, and I was just like, still like, I'm gonna live in this house. Still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad, I'm gonna do skits for a living. I'm gonna do plays. I'm gonna do what? Me and plays. He was a thought. You're mentally old, right? Oh, dude. My grandfather had a 24 hour restaurant. I'm, you know, he died before I was born, but you know, he was one of the Greek generation that started the 24-hour diner. And I think my dad said literally, I met him like 15 times,

because he just like worked. They used to, those immigrants just worked. All the time, they worked. And yeah, I think if he saw what I was doing, he'd be like, he would be like, he would be like, yeah, it was,

it was, it was, he'd get him pay for this, it was, it was, he just would have no concept. It would be like when the Native Americans saw the conquistor ships, they're like, what the fuck? Imagine that guy saw you do a show and then saw someone to give you a check and be like, the fuck was that thing? And you're like, for your little dance,

that's like, yeah. I mean, to watch, he just watch us talk to crowds. We like, you gotta check, check, where's the work? He's like, I'm doing 24 hour shifts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad is funny.

He hated scruff, so he came up to me and he'd be like, what is this shit? He's like, it's my face. They want you to shave, I was like, because I don't want to. He hated that. And he hated, he called them blue jeans. Like, he's American.

He was like blue jeans. And he hated, like, he hated, like, dress down looks, like, especially for flying. He was like, you know, when I, growing up, people were coat and tie to fly. Oh, it was like an event to fly, right? That was a big deal. It was a big, he's like, people were like,

I'm gonna fly today. Yeah. Like they got dressed up. And the people wear literal pajamas and slippers. Yeah. You know, I saw some, I saw women board the flight in a bikini with a wrap. Like what you see, but you wear at the pool.

Yeah. She boarded like that, you know, and he would just be like, God. And then his version of dressing dent like it's Sunday, it was hanging out at the house, khakis, collared button down shirt. Yeah. Oh my God. And then his version of dressing dent like it's Sunday, it was hanging out at the house, khakis, collared button down shirt. And I was like, why don't you put on something comfortable?

Yeah, you go, I am comfortable. Yeah, that was that Mr. Rogers when they put on sneakers, they were like, whoa, I am dressed way down. Still a tie, like a shirt when you sweater on it. Take the jacket off, but still always some sort of coat on. Yeah. We would buy my dad's sneakers as a joke.

He would never wear it. I mean, he eventually did, but I would say 90% of what I ever saw him wear, you would consider like Mr. Rogers wear. Yeah. Like it was pretty formal. You know, it's interesting because I think it would was, you know, he's probably, we're all probably two, three generations. A lot of us are the kids of immigrants in some way, three, four generations.

And their mentality was just like, they're here to loot. Everyone came here to loot. Yeah. They were like, we're here for loot, money, we're going to work, we're going to make it. And so like, they were always thinking about looking more formal. Sure. And looking like they were millionaires and stuff. And then they went up there and then they had kids

and we just took it right back down to laziness. And what's the least amount of work I can do and get paid the most? I think because they were, you know, they're working so hard that generation, especially immigrants, more so. Because they were like, I got into this place. So I'm going to bust my ass that their kids were like, how you hooked it up? Yeah. I mean, a lot of the kids were like, you did into this place. So I'm gonna bust my ass, that there are kids where like,

how you hooked it up? I've got a lot of the kids who are like, you did it. And yeah, I don't feel the urgency, the urgency to do something wasn't there for a lot of kids. And they get mad at it, but it's really their fault. Cause I remember like, my other grandfather was like, I worked so hard so you'd never have to. And I was like, yeah, great.

I'm living your dream for me right now. I'm working never. I work for 40 minutes. Yeah. And sometimes I stress about that. And I've got two, I gotta do two of them. I feel like it's too much work. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like it's too much work. I gotta sit here and talk. It's like, God damn it. God, I gotta go have fun with Tom Sugurt today for Jesus Christ. This is like, I've been a coal mine. Do you have the thing where sometimes now, because you know everybody sees their parent,

I think boys see their dads as something special, right? And then you hit a certain age where you go, oh, he's just a guy. And it took me a long time before I realized that my dad's a terrible driver. I didn't realize how bad of a driver he was until a couple of years ago. I was in the car, I was like,

oh, he's always driving like this and he sucks it. And I always thought, oh, you know what I mean? You go, my dad is here. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, because he used to drive where he would go, you hit the gas and then release it.

Zoon. So basically nauseating. Yeah. He drove like a woman. Yeah, he drove like a woman with a smaller brain. And I was like, I never point it out a few times and I was like, hey, could you stop doing it? Cause once you get older, you know, you're like, hey man, could you stop doing that? Yeah, was that like the first time,

the first suggestion you had from it, and then you were like, that, cause it's almost like, yeah, I remember those moments where you go from that shift of like, he's a god, he's perfect. Oh shit, he's just a dude. He's just a flawed regular dude. He's a flawed dude.

And it like, changes your whole, it like cracks your whole perspective. It cracks it. It does. Yeah, I mean, there's a few of them where I was like, oh wow, like I didn't really, but I remember the driving one really hit me where I was like, like you're God off, you know?

Like you almost wanted to call, like you're literally, yeah. Police on him, like yeah, yeah. And I wanted him to know how bad he, like that's what I wanted there to be like a news article about. You know that he would just like read and be like, God, I'm really bad at this. We got a lot of comments because I know your dad

was in the military too. I made a book, it was hilarious. All the stories about him, yeah. And my dad was, that was one of the things about him. He was an absolute horrible driver. One time he made a U-turn on the Verizano Bridge, which is the bridge between Staten Island and Brooklyn. He made a U-turn on the bridge.ano bridge, which is the bridge between Staten Island and Brooklyn. He made a U-turn on the bridge.

So he's, because you can get, there's a lane in Bay Ridge. By the way, even conceptually, that's insane. It's insane, dude. And it's not like, it's New York. So there's trucks coming. It's crazy, man. And so he's like turn and-

Fins trucks, people are fucking people and they're just gonna fuck you. We were like six, it was me and my friend, the back seat, and people are cursing it's in New York, so they're letting them have it. And he's just like smoking a cigarette, you know, no seatbelt. And he made a U-turn on the Verizano Bridge.

That's crazy. You could go to prison for that. Like now, I mean, I don't know. It was a horror. So when he cut in like a truck had to swerve and fell off the bridge and then it was commotion and then it was like nothing happened. That's hilarious.

And another time we were in Barbados on vacation and yet they drive in the other side in Barbados like the English do for whatever reason. And we were in one of those buggies, my whole family was in it. And there was a woman like carrying a jug on her head and carrying a jug on her hand. And he couldn't drive, he was struggling,

he kept almost dipping into the side. And he drove past her and knocked a jug out of her head. It was terrifying being a car with that. Yeah, he was a horrible driver. Here's an interesting thing though, because this is a big thing for men. Did he know how horrible a driver he was? I think he did know.

You think he did know. You think he did know. I think he did know. See, the big thing for me is that there's no way my father knew or accepted that he, that, you know what I mean? Like, in his mind, it's a great driver. He was married on a dress. Because most dudes are like, I'm fucking great truck. I could fight, I could fuck, and I could drive.

Like, most guys don't want to hear any of that shit right about them not being able to do that I remember I took him to a Game in LA when I was still living in LA we went down to a Rams game and They're playing in LA. I forget the name of the state was before the so-fi but anyway We're going back up to the city and we're're in the 110, which is a major freeway. And it's like, mid afternoon, I guess, on a Sunday. So the point is, there's a major, but there's not traffic, but cars are moving.

I mean, this is like four or five lanes of moving. And I get them in this car that I got that has like a real engine, I'm like, you want to drive? It's like, yeah. And we're in the speeding lane, like the far left lane, the carpool lane, and he's going like 70. And I'm like, yo, man, hit the gas, right? Like I can see the cars behind us.

And he's like, oh, so he goes, and he goes like up to like 78. And then he slows back down. And I'm sitting here the whole time. And I could feel like my anxiety building. And he's just talking to me. I'm like, hey, hey, hey. I go, you got a speed up. Drive like a man.

Yeah, speed up. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, oh. And then he speeds up. And then it immediately declines. And I'm like, get out of this lane. Let's just get out of the lane. And he's like, get out of this.

Yeah, because you're driving just slow. And then he's like missing exits. I was fucking losing in my mind. Your dad, it sounds like people, when they, you know, because when somebody's doing that and they're impeding your process, you want to pass, but you have to see him. You ever notice you got to see him. You got, oh, you always got to have to see him.

And you always play that game. You're like, was the Asian? Was your woman. Yeah, Asian or woman? I play that game every time. Yeah. But that's the game we all play. Don't act like you don't play that game you like was the Asian was your woman. Oh, yeah, Asian woman Asian or woman. I play that game every time. Yeah, but that's the game. We all play don't act like you don't play that game. I would play that game, dude.

Yesterday and when it's not your very surprise blown away. So they saw your dad there were like, what the fuck? That's him. Fucking guy. Paul white guy. He's got usually hammer. Yeah. No, he fucking like yesterday.

I was I was a sitting driving. and again, it was like moving, like, I mean, I'm on the highway, but it's moving. And then I'll send him to a 35 behind one car. And I'm like, this fucking asshole. So I do the thing where I go around. And then of course I slow down for a second. I look, Asian guy, on his phone. Oh, God.

So like, he's actually, he's like this. Yeah, it's worse than COVID. Yeah, I'm like, God. He made you better than Oh, God. So like he's right, he's actually, he's like this. Yeah, it's worse than COVID. Yeah, I'm like, God, man. You made you better than that. Yeah, I did. Go back to Wuhan. I fucking lost my mind. Yeah.

Yeah. I hope they clipped us out. Oh, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. It's, you know what they're doing in New York now. You know, it's funny, like I just feel like every government right now is trying to get all that money back. Yeah.

That like it just gave out during COVID or whatever. And economy's tight, it's another doing these little schemes now in New York where they have cameras everywhere. Yeah. And they hit you, you know, they hit you for a speeding ticket, but it's no points if it's like, you're like, oh, dude.

If you're like two miles per hour over the speed limit, they send you. And it's like, it feels like, it feels like you're getting shaken down by the mafia. Like you get that thing in the war. You are, you kind of are. And you get in the mail and it's like, yeah, you were going 37 and a 32.

There's a school somewhere in New York, so you were in the schools and it's like yeah, you were going 37 and 32. There's a school somewhere in New York So you were in the schools. Oh, yeah, you're like what? I just someone just told me was it in LA Somewhere where they just got pulled over for doing like five over. I was like what they're doing it They got pulled over for going like five or six over. I was like I'd never heard I got a ticket one time We're going nine over which I was like come on. Yeah heard of it. I got to take it one time for going nine over, which I was like, come on. This was years ago in South Carolina. And then a lot of times in the South, there's a big thing about, you have an out-of-state plate,

your fair game. At least that's like how people talk, you know? So it's like, if you're driving through Georgia, you got Florida plates, like fuck you. It's Georgia, you know? So I don't know if it was that, but yeah, I was like, probably a little bit of that. I was like, nine over man. Like, don't you guys have literally some shit to do like you only was other precautions

Highway doing 20 over go get them, but it was like not you get it. Yeah, nice fat ticket to how much was it? I mean back then. I mean it was at least 270 to it which for me I was in college, I was like, I'm two seconds. Seven is a lot, dude. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah, I hate those when you get caught and you're like nine or eight over, it looks like 12 over, whatever. But you know those ones where they get,

yeah, and you just, you just give in. You're like, you got it, yeah, yeah. They're like, they come to your side and you have no explanation. There's nothing you can think about. I'm starting with apologies, all right. I know. I know.

I'm sorry. Just take me away. You like, put. All right, I know. You know, I'm sorry. Just take me away. You like put your hands up, you're like, yeah, tickets not even enough. I should be in prison for that. Yeah. You caught me, I was going 97, you got me. By the way, for people who, some people,

like I have friends who talk to cops so aggressively and I always get something like, Jesus Christ. Like, and they go, their whole thing is they're like, cops are dicks, I go, I think they're dicks to you because you're a dick. Because like I always, like when a cop pulls me over, I'm never like, what's the fucking problem? You know, like it's like you're insane.

Like if you want your chance, the best chance you ever have of being like, you know what I'm gonna let you out with the warning is like, how's it going officer or sir or man? Yeah. And then I did not realize that, of course, how's it going officer or sir or ma'am? Yeah. And then I did not realize that, of course they hear as my paper like, just be polite, like you would be to anybody.

And some of my friends, I have friends who go like, hey, like that, like they start conversation with cops like that, like, hey, that's what I fucking thought. And like, like really aggressive. And I'm like, and then they go, all cops, I fucking hate all cops, like you know, I get that, but definitely all cops hate you.

Just, you know, because you start every conversation like you have something to hide. Yeah, and they have a major advantage over you. Yeah, you can't like, you know, they have a gun on them, you know, you don't have a gun, they got the law. They have the law? Yeah, you're not in a great position. There are enough variables in this

where they can ruin your day. They can ruin your day. It could be a real impediment to your day. Nobody does that more than women. You ever see the way women talk to cops? Yeah, yeah. Because they don't know what, they don't even know the thing that we do as men,

which is every man always sizes another man up, even on a conscious level. You always do it, every guy, when you walk into a room, and there's another man, part of your brain goes, could this guy fuck me up? Apps to fuck me up? Right. You don't have to consciously,

that your brain just tells you like, hey, by the way, don't fuck with this guy too hard. Yeah, you know? But women are just like, what's he gonna do? I don't know, he could fucking crack your head wide open, you know? Yeah, it's the same way they talk to husbands. Yeah, it's like, was it a while ago?

Did you forget, like, I could squish your head. You take your head and just squish it. Yeah, it's really, the way they talk, the way my wife talks to me sometimes, I just look at her and go like, Jesus. You out of your mind. Yeah, like, you know, I think like women are upset because of like the treatment that they had in history

and but they don't take into account the way it was before that treatment started. Yeah. Like so it was like this and it was at hand and guys were like, we can't get anything done. We can't like worry about same tooth tigers and listen to this bitch cracking off at the mouth While we're trying to figure out science and math and fucking civilization

So for just a little while you're gonna get hit yeah Shut the fuck up till we build shit and it gets comfortable and then you can run your fucking mouth again Because we invented air conditioning, but until that time you're gonna get punched You're gonna get punched, right? And it was totally, I'm for that. Or else we wouldn't be here. You can tell who grew up in a house and an environment where there was never the implication of a threat.

You know what I mean? Like, because not all women speak to cops that way. But I know, like when you say that, I know exactly who you're talking about, and it's somebody who's gunned unchecked in life. Yes. It's not even, you know, they're just in life. They mouthed off at home, nobody ever said shit.

They talked to their dad like that, they talked to their brother like that, they talked to teachers like that, and everybody let it slide. Yeah. Everybody let it slide. And then yeah, you could do that to like a cop who's just like, you know what I'm gonna do?

Is I'm gonna grab you by your hair. Pull you out of the window. I don't give a fuck because this is, you know, making Georgia. And then I'm gonna drop my elbow onto your face as you hit the pavement. That lady's gonna be like, what the, like yeah, you don't talk to people.

Yeah, yeah. They should have cops should always have like a big, like big fat black cop just, every car should have a big fat black woman cop just for that situation. So when the guy goes over and she just starts, and then he just goes, yeah, Tunisha, come here. Yeah, Tunisha just comes over, pulls the hair, and it takes your earrings out and just says,

give her a thing, yeah. Gives her a little after school outside beating. No, you're right though. Wives need to get checked too. I mean, I've told mine a few times. I'm like, do you realize that with my bare hand, I could just crack your stern. You'd have no protection, like,

their chest plate is just gone. Yeah. It's like us fighting them is like us fighting Brock Lesnar. They don't get that. They don't get it. They don't get that at all. They don't get the way difference. It's a fight that would never be put on

because the way difference is too. The promoter is like, what the fuck are we promoting? Yeah, you couldn't even put that on. Like they just don't get it. They don't fight. I can pick you up. Yeah, and it's only because of the law, you know, and so maybe only because of the law,

and maybe that law needs to change for a little bit until we get them back in order. Like whenever you hear a story about a guy just beating the fuck out of some shit, or you're like, well, I mean, I get it. Well, you always go like, well, yeah. But you also go like, well, what did she say? Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's like in New York, like I noticed this thing, in a lot of other cities, homeless people are very aggressive. Yeah, me and I lived there for a year, they'll be aggressive, right? They'll be like, hey, man, somebody needs to watch your car and they kind of like shake you down. And then if you don't, they'll like stick a knife in your tire.

Yeah. So like, you know, they're very aggressive to get in your face and stuff like that. New York, New York, they don't, right? New York, they're very respectful of your space and stuff like that. And that's because every once in a while is New Yorkers because they know, you don't know everybody, New York people could be dangerous, but every once in a while in New Yorkers,

we do this thing where we just set one of them on fire to send a message. And that's how you keep it. And then that spreads. And then it's a nice detente where they ask respectfully. They don't get your fucking space. If you're eating a brunch outside, they don't come over and ask you for money.

You just gotta set one on fire. That's to send a message. I feel like, and that's what we need to do with women. Just for a little while, beat them, and then go back to the law. But just for like a month. That month, a month, it's just like no more that even you mentioned.

First of all, a huge advantage of a city with that population is that someone's always, there's always gonna be someone does some wild shit that lives everybody going, that can happen. Yeah, that can happen, you know? Like that can happen here. Like villages don't have that. Yeah.

But big cities like New York, they're like, look man, you never know, someone might eat your face. It happens. Yeah. It actually happens here. You've said anything, literally everything and anything has happened. And you go down to the subway

and you see a guy shitting in a, like on a public waste bin. And you're like, I've seen so many weird things. Downtown LA is same dude, I've been to Downtown LA and just seeing a guy just right there on Third Street, just squat and shit right there on the sidewalk and you're like, woof.

And then when you walk those streets, your nose always tell you, like, oh, that's human shit. That's not, it has a really distinct odor. It's not, it's a human, you can make it a dog shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a guy's shit right there. Yeah, you know, it's great about those cities.

Like cities like New York and Hollywood, where everyone's like doing something or like, you know, busy, it is true and they're heavily populated. You could just be driving and you'd be like, oh, that's a guy eating another guy. And you'd be like, but I still got a meeting. I got a guy like, yeah, you know,

if it was that happened in a smaller town, that would be the biggest thing. Everyone would stop. You just would tell someone in passing up before I saw Guy eat another guy. But anyway, let's get back to this movie bitch. You remember speaking to guys beating women. Do you remember when,

do you remember Greg Hardy? He always, yeah, the football player. He played it and now he played. And now he's cabbage. Yeah, he fights now in mixed martial arts. And I don't think he's done very well. So maybe that's the sweet justice of this all. Yeah, he fights now in mixed martial arts. And I don't think he's done very well. So maybe that's the sweet justice of this all. Yeah, he's gotten beat up a few times.

I mean, he's a big dude who most of us should not approach. But you know, the guys trying to make something of it. But when he got in trouble, he was playing in the NFL. And he, he was, he like beat up, but he threw her. And then it said in the article, onto a pile of guns. So he like, he just tossed her, if she landed on guns.

I don't know, I was always like, that's a, that's a crazy look right there. Yeah. Yeah, it has a visual, right? It's just funny, he had a pile of guns, there. Yeah. Yeah. Has a visual, right? It's just funny. He had a pile of guns. Yeah.

Yeah. You pull that up. Yeah. Pull up the article. Yeah. You know, Ray Rice, you know, the reason where Ray Rice, I think it was just if it was on camera. I think Greg Hardy was on camera.

Oh, yeah. Forever. Yeah. And Ray Rice, she technically ran at him, right? I don't, I think it looked like she was going for a one leg take down if I remember. I don't remember that. I mean, you gotta find the article about the incident,

not the suspension. It's like when the thing about, yeah, the thing about having video, it changes everything. It changes everything. Any type of crime on camera, like when people get to see it, it changes everything. Any type of crime on camera, like when people get to see it, it changes everything.

Because I think what Greg Hardy did was like, Jess is bad if not worse, and he still was able to play. They got a 10 game suspension. Yeah. But the thing is that was like the, Ray Rice, it was security footage from the casino. I think it was a casino, right?

Or it was a hotel casino, or just a hotel. A elevator. But yeah, but you get to, you see the full impact, and then you see like what a casino, right? Or it was a hotel casino or just a hotel. A elevator. But yeah, but you get to, you see the full impact and then you see like what a powerful, like it's so strong. Yeah.

And you realize this is like, this is a top tier athlete. Yeah. It's not like, it's not like when you, not that there's cool ones, but you know, it's not like, it's not like that. It was like holy fuck.

She went limp like a noodle. It was bad. So this is the hardy one, yeah. So it was like holy fuck. She went limp like a noodle, it was bad. So this is the hardy one, yeah. So it's like minutes earlier, he said, she had thrown her against the tile bath to wall, tossed her onto a futon covered in assault life. And choked her until she told him to kill me, so I don't have to.

God damn, yeah, I did. He's so big that I imagine that like, I don't know how you even survive. Like if he hit me, it would be a hospital for a month. So I don't know how a woman survives a guy that a defensive end in the NFL doing that. They are crazy. They're very resilient women.

They got a baby. They can have babies and stuff like that. Like, you know, it's like I feel bad for a lot of that stuff but they are resilient. Yeah, yeah, sure. It can take, like, and stuff like that. Like, you know, it's like I feel bad for a lot of that stuff, but they are resilient, you know? Yeah, sure. It can take, like, and also emotionally resilient. Like, not only can they give babies and rear them and get through post-partum and all that stuff,

but like, just, I mean, think about Ray Rice's wife. She's stuck by his side. He knocked her out cold and elevated her. And then she was like, guys, guys, it's cool. I deserved it. And I didn't hear what I said. I spit in him. And like, Annette fell was like, no, but it it's cool, I deserved it. And I think you didn't hear what I said. I spit in them, and like, Anna fell was like, no, but it's like, we should have forgiven it

if she forgave it. If she forgave it, yeah. And not only that, it wasn't like, I believe they're still together. So it also wasn't like, I'm just with you for this NFL check, like, that's still his lady, I believe. Dude, I mean, I think that's one of the most admirable love stories I've ever heard. Yeah, like they should make a movie. No, you're told, I mean, I think that's one of the most admirable love stories I've ever heard.

Yeah. Like they should make a movie. No, you're told, I'm not joking. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, I mean, she knocked me out an elevator, but I'm a writer-die. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm a writer-die. I love the guy. I love the guy. It's like a lot of people say what Woody Allen did is bad, but like, they're still together. Yeah. It's 40 years.

Yeah. I know people with the same age who broke up after six months. Yeah. So who's got the better love? Who's got real love? Who's got real love? Yeah, it's 40 years. Yeah, I know people at the same age who broke up after six months. Yeah, so who's got the better love? Who's got real love? Who's got real love? Yeah, it's what he out on in his stepdaughter. Are they still together? Yeah, they're still together. They're still together. Ray Rice and her are still together and her jaw looks fine. Yeah He actually I think he fixed it. He might because it looked I can't believe we're doing this. Are you gonna name this the case for Ray Rice? Or why we should get rid of equal rights?

Women are too powerful, that's the name of the episode. It's too powerful right now. That's all I'm saying, it's a little too much. No, yeah, I don't know, man. That is a love story though. No, the Woody Allen one too, it's like little too much. No, yeah, I don't know, man. That is a love story, though. It's a love story. No, the Woody Allen one too, it's like, he is, also, you know, it's funny how people's declines

are portrayed and perceived. This is fascinating to me. So first of all, I'll say this. I'm not a New Yorker. I love going to New York. It's one of my favorite cities of his in the world. I, but I did not grow up. I think a lot of people a New Yorker. I love going to New York. It's one of my favorite cities of his in the world. But I did not grow up.

I think a lot of people from New York have an admiration for him that is specific to New York and New Yorkers. In other words, like when they're like, it was like, oh, it's a new Woody Allen film. I've seen Woody Valentines that I enjoy and I've seen ones where I'm like, I don't think this is fucking worth it.

I don't care. I don't admire, I don't go, I admire this guy. The way. I don't care. I don't admire, I don't go, I admire this guy, like the way that I hear people admire him. I always thought he was kind of weird, but that's not that, you know, there's a lot of artists that are weird. I thought this story was gross,

and I thought the other story is that like his biological or said to be biological son has accused our horrific and people let it slide for it. Like people were just like, yeah, yeah, fine. And then a few years ago, it kind of became people were like, no, he's done, but it also feels like it was quietly done. It's like, yeah, I guess he's got to pay the price for this. Yeah.

Like, it's not really like this amplified voice of where I'm with this guy. It's like a quiet resignation of, you know, if people keep saying you fucked a kid. Yeah. What can you do? Yeah. It's like they're reluctantly doing, I mean, he's obviously, I mean, he's an older man now. He's got to be like 80 or something. Right? In his 80s. Yeah. And the late and the girl is like, what, 40 years younger? 87. 87. But he was making movies up to a couple years ago.

Yeah, I mean, they stopped allowing him. 52. But he was making a movie a year for, he was making a movie a year forever. And he's got some of the most absolute classic movies. Got classics, yeah. When you're from New York and you understand that sort of like Jewish New York kind of

neuroses and humor, it's like the best. And there's like, yeah, I mean, he's as bad as New York as it gets. And so when you're in New York or there's just, I have such a love for his movies. And so, yeah, sometimes that's a tough decision, you know? – Sure. – It's a tough decision. But I mean, he's like Ronan has been adamant. It's weird, like when you have kids,

you realize that it's very weird for a kid to be adamant that you did something to them as they grow up that's completely made up. Yeah, it's almost unheard of actually, you know. It's his daughter, yeah, that one. But Ronan has like pushed that. He was like, I know my father was doing this. And then what he's like, just made up.

And you're like, yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, there are conspiracies where people try to bring someone down. It's a very strange one to do. Yeah. What I'm trying to say is like, you usually should believe these types of things when people say them, you know? Yes, because why would they?

I mean, there are occasions where you're going like, all right, you can get to the circumstances, but usually it's like, if there's a strong accusation about something you're going like, this person, nobody gets famous that way. Nobody wants to be famous, nobody gets a real victim movie. It's like, so yeah, you always gotta give the benefit

of the doubt to the lady. Yeah, and then oh my God. It's so weird that it's a girl that he adopted, that he ended up marrying. But you're right, it's a love story. Yeah, well I think technically to get technical here, I think, I'm not defending it. Because right now it sounds like

what seems like we're being lawyers. She looks like Bobby Lee right there, he's shaved. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, is that- Oh, there's Bobby Shame is must. Yeah, see this, Christ. I think me a pharaoh adopter.

Right, correct, correct. So they, and they were girlfriend and boyfriend. So it's like a father figure though. But it's, correct. So they, and they were girlfriend and boyfriend. So it's like, he was like a father figure though. Father figure though. But it's so it's technically wasn't his kid. What's your favorite Woody Allen movie? Annie Hall. And yeah, Annie Hall.

God crimes and misdemeanors is great. Match point. It's not even a game. I'll tell you this. It's great. I love match point. Match point's so good. I love match point.

And, and because I'm always fascinated by you see this, here's what's more, it's more impressive to do this in a feature than in a series. In a TV series, you get to build like a connection with a character over time, right? So it's like breaking bad. Over multiple seasons, you get to know this character so well, that yes, he's actually doing reprehensible things, but you're like, why am I celebrating? Like you're cheering for him, you want him to win, but you're getting seven seasons to build that good will.

In match point, it's 90 minutes, and you're like, God, I hope he gets away with killing this bitch. Yeah. You're like, right, it's crazy, It's not he's not a good guy. And you want that, you want him to win. It's fucked up. But it's like the storytelling, you're like, you're like, yeah. Yeah, you got to wave with that. Yeah, well, you know, I think maybe part of that too is because like, you know,

you said subconsciously, we always sides up another guy. I think maybe part of that too is because like, you know how you said subconsciously, we always saw as another guy. I think deep down subconsciously, we also, every guy has that thing in our brain going like, all right, sometimes I feel like I want to murder my wife. Yeah. If I did, I'd love to get away with it. Sure.

So you're subconsciously rooting for him going like, all right, how did he do it? And maybe if that happens, I'd like to get away with you too. And you're like, I need shit to bounce my way. And that's how you learn in the movie. Yeah, I need that right. Because yeah, it's just that moment is great where it just doesn't go over there.

And also, it's an anti-Hollywood movie in that sense, right? Because Hollywood studios would be like, no, make sure it bounces the other way and the guy gets caught in those jails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like there's something about mass audiences that go like, oh good, he was punished for his crime.

Yeah. But for the real satisfaction is being like, no, he didn't. Yeah, we got away with that. The Hollywood always has that sort of, other good guys always got to win at the end. Yeah, and this one, the bad guy gets away, and he wins.

The bad guy gets away. It's more realistic. A lot of times bad guys do get away with it for a long time. Sometimes they never get caught. It's like I love in Mr. Rip, Talton, Mr. Ripley, when Matt Damon, you know, he kills, what's his name? Jude Law.

Jude Law. And then he like tells the father this whole story. And he's like, well, I'll just keep paying you his, you need some money. And he's like, oh, thank you. Yeah, he's just like, you see him get away with that. He gets away with it. And you're like, man.

People are sometimes like really charismatic and like really interesting and fun. And you know, that's where like, you never, like the boring mean guy you see coming. That's where they don't get away with it. Yeah, like if somebody comes in, I'm here to murder everybody, you're like, that guy's gonna get caught.

But like the ones who pretend to be the opposite of what they are, they get away with it for a long time. Which is why, like they tell you the most, like what's actually the scariest person, the scariest person is not like mean, it's that somebody who is so likable that does horrible things. Yes.

And that's like in history, you know, these are like movies, but in history, you know, like some of the most prolific killers and stuff, they were like, they had charm to them. The most charm. They came in the room, people were like, I love this guy.

And they had that side and then they had their evil side that would kind of flip switch on. But yeah, that's actually who's terrifying. And I actually, I don't know any killers that I'm aware of. But I know people who I have discovered, I'm like, this is not a good person, but I've told people about, you know, I go so and so. And I go, but here's the thing, if you met him, I go, you'd love him. And they're like, what do you mean? I go, it's one of the most charming guys you meet.

I go, you'd be like, when is, when's he coming to dinner? Yeah, you know, what they do is they like mirror you. Yeah, which is, and so they play on our weakness of flattery and like, what are you going? Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking funny. I is. So they somehow mirror you and make you feel great and they have that superficial charm, whatever.

So it like hits your blind spot of your ego and then so you miss it. It's like Ted Bundy used to just like, you know, he was like- He was so fucking charismatic. He's like the prototype guy for this. I was watching him defend himself in documentaries about him. I'm like, guys, didn't do it.

He didn't fucking do it. He's great. I wanna hang out with Ted Bundy. There's a thing on the Bundy trial, if you watch, there's multiple docs down about him, but this is like when, when someone, you know, someone can't get out of their own way,

like can't get, so he was never gonna, never had the skill set to actually really defend that case and win. But there's one point he puts the, detective in Florida who came in of the sorority house and discovered the bodies on the stand and then he asks him To describe the crime scene and then he's just enjoying him and because he did it It's like and then what'd you find? And the guys just and then you know the other lawyers, like, there was zero point to this. Other than him just enjoying,

and that's why he did it probably, too. Yeah. There's so premeditated, it's so funny how, like, there's so premeditated. They're like a step ahead and like, it's all for them and all selfish, but they make it seem something else. He was brilliant, right?

Wasn't he the guy who did like the casting and he'd get you in the Volkswagen Beetle, and he's like, oh man, I can't. And then boom, next thing, you know, you titties getting bit off. Yeah. He also did, he was in this Colorado jail. And he broke out, right?

Well, he noticed the vent, and you know, it's the size of it. So he just stopped eating for like two months until he had lost enough weight to fit in through that vent. That's how it happened? Yeah, that's how he escaped one of them. Dude, one of them he did through a library, which he was like, I'm defending myself,

and this was in another case, I need access to the library, and they were like, sure. So he would go up to the second floor, look through legal, and one day he just jumped out of that window. Jesus. But on one of his escapes, it was either Utah or Colorado,

he went up through the vent that he had starved himself enough to actually fit into that. That is, you know, that's why so many cycle paths are so successful. They're unencumbered by emotion. Yeah. It's like the I. CEOs, they don't care about anything.

Left and right, man. So he's just focused on like his own needs and wants. He's like, I'm just gonna start on this up for two months of fitting. When you see these articles in the news, they're so and so slashed 12,000 jobs and for share prices, we're taking a dip. And then they get that CEO.

And he's like, it was a very tough decision to make, but we have to keep moving forward. Like, that doesn't give a fuck. He's just thinking about his bones. Yeah. I think you maybe need guys like that, though. You do. It's always gonna be part of it. I could never make that. I'd be like, oh, but what about Sally her family and then like my company would fail

Yeah, no, no you need people like that. I mean there's different studies on this But we know for for sure that when it comes to like high-level You know CEO level stuff and political figures people presidents prime ministers CEO, level stuff, and political figures, presidents, prime ministers, there's a higher propensity for that personality type in the emotion, no remorse, guilt-free. And some of them, they're not all psychopaths are highly intelligent, but some are.

If you're highly intelligent and you're not burdened by guilt and remorse. Like you can run a company maybe really well. They're probably the most free Americans. Sure, like, you know, because- I'll give a shit. Yeah, you're kind of, you're not shackled by anything. They're totally free.

That's real freedom, you know? Like just be able to kill a woman and just walk away and lie to cigarette up and go have breakfast. I mean, that's freedom, you know. I mean, it's- I mean, it breakfast. I mean, that's free to do. No big deal. Smash me able to slash 12,000 jobs and then kick your feet up and turn on ESPN.

Yeah, and not even, not even a thought, just completely free. And then, I'm comforted. Somebody like they ask you, how do you feel about that? And you're like, what? And then they go, no, no, it's for the TV. Oh, for TV.

Oh, yeah, it's been, and then, it was really. My heart goes the TV, you're like, oh, for TV. Oh, yeah, you know, it's been, and then, you know, it was really, my heart goes out, and then they're like, oh, you're off, you're like, all right, yeah, so, like, this pretend, you know? Yeah, I think, you know, our business attracts some psychopaths. It's a perfect, it's like, it's almost like, if you had, if you wanted to train to be a dictator,

our profession is like, you can sign up to learn dictator skills. So many skies, yeah. On both sides of it though, in our bit, the suits, the suits too, the suits and the performers. Performers. With the performers though, don't you feel like, I think it's easier now, like that we've been doing it

20 years when somebody's young and coming in, you can like just look into their eyes and you see when they have that, I don't care about anything but my own progression in this. I can see it. Yeah. Like I spot it quicker now, they're not trying to connect or like, when someone's like, what can you do for me, that's kind of like a tell tale personality disorder thing

where it's like, I don't care about any of it. And then there's people that are in our peer group who have known for years, who have remained that way. Like, I've known you for 20 years. And you're still, what can you do for me? Yeah, yeah. And it's usually like a pretty good sign that that person is, you know, not on the level.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a lot of empathy. Yeah, I know a lot of empathy in there. Yeah, I've been burned a few times. So that instructed me. I learned it. We need to. You need to get burned.

It's instructive. You learn what you need to learn. But yeah, some of them are tricky. Some of them, you know, and so you gotta, yeah, you gotta learn and hats off. Sometimes when you hear like a good scam, even in like the news, you go like, hats off, dude. You hold it off. Like Bernie, man, if you're. And hats off. Sometimes when you hear like a good scam even in like the news, you go like, hats off, dude. You hold it off.

Like Bernie Madoff, you like hats off. Bernie Madoff is fucking. Hats off. Fascinating. The most fascinating thing about Madoff is if you watch that latest one, that one that Netflix just made. Such a good doc, yeah. It's so good, but the craziest one,

the craziest detail in that, because it answers questions that you always wondered that they just don't give you in a quick news story, is sometimes they would go into his, they'd show up and they're like, this should just end up, and he's like, why don't you have a seat? What do you need?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these are the investigators. Yes. He knows he's like, you know, defrauding basically. Yeah. And then he's like, what can I get you? Yeah. And they're like, he instilled so much confidence

in the way that he would just be like, yeah, no, what else, what other questions you have? That they'd go like, yeah, I guess this all adds up. And it was just him not being like, panicked. Right. Which is another thing that psycho's. Oh, they don't they're like that The heart rate doesn't go Like flutter and like oh my god in my trouble. They're like what's up? This is what I've been living for yeah

They're stabbing with your pen and they're like looking at their I watch like still at 57 Heartbeat 57 feel a fucking there's psychopath fighter pilots that are like that. They're really are. And race car drivers that are like, they're fucking, they're made like that, but they're not evil. You know, you don't have to be evil to be a psycho. I think people miss absolutely.

There's a lot of people that the race car driver is a lot of like very dangerous jobs. A lot of psychopaths go in here. Yeah, yeah, because you're just, always it's a personality disorder. Yeah. And the thing is, like, if that person did something evil, they wouldn't feel bad about it.

Right. But they're not necessarily looking to do that. Right. And they're probably not doing it for selfish reasons, but that's fine. Yeah. Somebody needs to fly fighter jets. Somebody needs to.

Yeah, so hey, buddy, why don't you fucking gear up? That's the right line. And catch me if you can from Leonardo Caprio's character when he says you know like Yankees always won because the people couldn't were looking at the pinstripe they were too mystified by the pinstripes. Yeah it's kind of that thing. Yeah. The birdie made off it was just like he was so cool about it was that mystique of confidence that you were just like I guess. And I got to tell you right when you watch this thing and you hear the stories about,

you know, he had the thing where he was like, I just don't have room for, and he had no soliciting. In other words, if you were like, I wanna invest my money with him, he'd be like, I have no room for you, right? All this shit would have worked on me. It would have worked out be tell you. And when I'm watching him, if I sat down with this guy,

I'd be like, wow, this guy is the fucking man. And what an honor it is, he used to be the chairman of NASDAQ and I don't know how many boards. And I would've just been like, sir, what should I do? I would've been so respectful. And if he would've said, you, what, Tommy, do your favor. If you wanna move your money over to me, I'll be like, oh my God, yeah.

We got him send this money today. At some point, he was like, yeah, he was a chairman of the body that would be in charge of investigating now. I think SEC, yeah. I think he actually worked there, worked at, I know he was chairman of NASDAQ at one point. And like, he just had that, you know,

that type of the way that he just spoke so much confidence, like, you know, the same way the investigators are like, what should we do? And he's just like, what do you need? And it's that thing too, that he's aware of the blind spots and humans. He was chairman of NASDAQ, 1991 and 1993, and he sat on the SEC Advisory Committee.

Yeah. Yeah, so those are the people who would investigate guys the three, and he's sat on the SEC Advisory Committee. Yeah. Yeah, so those are the people who would investigate guys like him, and he's like on the committee. He's like Carl? You talking to Carl? Yeah. Tell him a little hi. Tell him a nice and high.

Yeah, I mean, he was so premeditated in that placing himself there, and just the blind spots that he was aware of, that like if he made himself an exclusive club, like you couldn't get in, nobody would question it. Of course. That guy, you can't even get in to see that guy. So, you know, and also he knew the greed of people. Because when I was watching that documentary,

I was going like, who's the real criminal here? Is it made of? Is he just more of a reflection of people's greed? Because you could easily go, like talk to anyone in a dinner party who's also invested, they're like, dude, how are you getting those returns when the market's down? And they're like, dude, how are you getting those returns when the market's down? And they're like, that's not possible.

Not possible. But nobody wanted it. Like, when you're winning, if they're giving you what you want for it, you're not gonna... And then, you know, there's... To be true, you're like, it's too good for me right now, so I'm not gonna ask any questions. You're like, you're gonna kind of got what you deserve,

then, didn't you? You greedy little bick. There's three big whales that, you know, they feature in the... Yeah. Who basically, they all knew what they knew was happening, but they never spoke about it. There's three big whales that you know they feature in the who basically They all knew what what they knew was happening, but they never spoke about it and even he was like we never spoke about it But he knows that they knew and they knew that they knew what he was doing, right? And these what we're saying is like these are people who are like when his pyramid skin would would Ponzi scheme would like run

Dry he would just call up one of these guys and be like, uh, do you wanna invest some more right now? And they'd be like, okay. Yeah. I'll send you $200 million tomorrow. But then when things would pick up, they'd be like, I want all my returns right now. So he'd send them like 400 million.

And they were like, they were earning billions of dollars. Yeah. Just like, oh yeah, I just thought I was investing. No, you didn't. Yeah. Exactly what you were doing. You were part of it and chased with that account where they just kind of looked the other way,

the bank, they were like, ah, we're just looking the other way. That's all that money in there. Exclusivity is so fascinating. Like, that you're not allowed in. I know of, I can't say a business where they're like, yeah, you can't get in, you know. You can't, you're not allowed to buy one of these.

And all it makes people do is go like, I want it. I want it. And then they're like, well, if you do, there's a wait list. Yeah. There's a wait list for this particular thing. And then the wait list just makes you,

oh my God, it's more exclusive. And this particular business that I learned about, they have never advertised. They're like, we've never spent a dollar in advertising. So they've only used that, like, that's it, that mystique and it's spread. It's spread amongst like a very wealthy people. And you know, I just heard about this thing

and I met somebody who works for the, that's why I don't feel comfortable saying what it is, but it's just an item, like just an object. You know, like let's just say it's a watch. It's not a watch, but it's a watch. And it's like if there's a watch company that's never advertised and then they're like, oh yeah, you can't have one. People go, what is it?

You know? And they're like special watch. And then you go like, well, you know, if we do let you in, you'll get it in like five years. You're like, great. You know, like, it's just being told you can't happen. Yeah. It makes me think maybe that we're just at the whim of psychopaths who are creating all these trends and things

by using these psycho-life-level blindspot really. We actually look ridiculous, but we don't know. Yeah. Because we just want it. It's like, yeah, you want to chain out, you look great. It's brilliant marketing. Yeah. I mean, that is, how do we take that marketing approach

to what we do? Hey guys, I'm putting out a special. In 2029. Buy tickets right now. Yeah, but I'm only letting 300 people watch it. Yeah, only 300 lucky people. Tickets are $10,000. It'll be the best hour you ever.

I mean, it's just like, I don't know how you, yeah, I'm trying to think how you do it. I think it's a marketing that only appeals to a certain segment also. Right? Because a lot of people go, oh wait, let's fuck off. But I think it's when people are used to getting what they want, that's what it is.

Because wealthy people get what they want. They're used to getting what they want, that's what it is. Because wealthy people get what they want. They're used to getting what they want the moment they want it all the time. So when you give them, you know, the special, like, instructions of, no, no, no, not now, later. And also not you, like, what do you mean not me? Right, right. I can afford it. And they're like, that doesn't matter. Right. I think that's why it really, it really appeals to like,

for like, luxury items and those people. It doesn't appeal, like a lot of people would walk past that idea, you know. Like I hate, for instance, I hate stores where you see people or even restaurants where there's like a line out, so they're like, there's an hour away. I'm like, no. One time I did it in Philly, where I didn't, it wasn't the Geno's Pat's thing,

it was another place. My friend was from Philly and was like, no, no, no, if you want the real, was it Angelo's, where you had to stand outside? I don't know. It was a cheese steak place, but I mean, I was in a, and so he's like, this is the spot.

We're just waiting, we're just waiting in the sun and then we go around the building, and then inside there's not, and so we finally get them, and he's like, I eat, and he's like, what'd you think? I go, it's a fucking cheese steak. Right. Okay.

He goes, what in the best? I go, no. It's good. They're all pretty similar. Yeah, like it tastes good, man. Yeah. I'm like, no, I regret that I did this. Yeah, you know?

This wasn't worth it. Yeah. But that line makes other people go like, I gotta get that line. Yeah, you know? This wasn't worth it. Yeah. But that line makes other people go like, you gotta get in that line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's funny because I did that recently in Philly, it was a place called Angelo's and it was cold out.

They make you wait outside. There's no place to wait inside. And then we got to Chisdek and there's also pizza there. Yeah. It was like, I think Dave Portanoi gave it like, it's the best pizza in Philly or whatever. And then I had it and like, it was good. But it wasn't like

wait in the cold. It wasn't two and a half hours good. But I was so caught up and some guy was walking by watching us freezing eating slices outside. Yeah. And he's like man, is it as good as they say? And I'm like yeah it is. Because also I just didn't want to look like a dick. Yeah, of course. You know, I didn't want to look like a dick freezing eating pizza with like gloves on. So it's like it is worth it, man. So I think that's part of it too. Because you like I didn't wanna look like a dick freezing, eating pizza with gloves on. So it's like, it is worth it, man. So I think that's part of it too, because you don't wanna be the dick,

who's just like having that honest moment going, like I just wasted half my day. Yeah, it's fucking, I know. I just met somebody who had 50 cars. He has 50 cars. That's a lot of cars. It's a lot of cars, and I go, you know, I asked him about these things,

and I go, oh, is that like, is that awesome? He's like, it's cool, drives good. And I was like, that's it. Yeah. Like he has like, you know, this crazy collection. And I was like, is there one that makes you, and he was like, no, they all just, you know, the warning is almost more than the get knit, right?

I think so. Yeah, so that's what, so what do you do? Like, how do you, when you achieve the thing you are, so. Yeah, so. So what do you do? Like how do you, when you achieve the thing you want and then you have that emptiness, what do you do? Do you just blow your brains out or? Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.

I mean, what do you do? Well, because it always happens. Everything becomes trite, right? You achieve a goal and then you're like, all right, that wasn't what I thought. This is the, this is now you're getting into like, you're getting into the good stuff here. Yeah. The good stuff here. Yeah.

The good stuff is in the realization that you will never have fulfillment for material things. It's, like here's the thing, there's both extremes are too much. In other words, somebody who goes, like I just crave things, stuff. That's what's good, like that, you will always feel empty. Ignoring the fact that some things are fun

and like they can bring joy to you. Like what you shouldn't act like that's not true. You can enjoy like a clothes or a nice car. Like like, yeah, that, but it's not gonna, it's not gonna complete you. But getting, I think, to the point where you realize that is one level of it. And then you have to realize, well, then how do I feel?

Well, it'll never be from consumption. Consumption of things is not going to fulfill you. You know, you have drugs, like you said, a bullet in the head. That stuff will at least put you out of your misery. But that's the case. Well, I mean, because if you don't agree to do that, then you have to do the hard work of actually looking inward.

Which sucks. That sucks. Yes. Cocaine and bullets are way quicker than actually going, oh, what's happening inside of me? I'm going through that now where I'm taking a peek under the hood. And because you know, I have a daughter,

a two year old daughter, and like something happened where I realized like going on the road because I had a heavy torso guy to recently, and then I was like, I have this new daughter, and since COVID, there was this break between like, who I was before I had a kid, because my kid was born during COVID, and now who I am now with this kid, with my daughter.

And like all I wanna do is be with my daughter now and my parents weren't there because they were like trying to live the American dream and work there as a son. And then I'm like, am I being that same guy? Because my kid's not gonna go, dad, you made so much money, it's cool. They're gonna go, you were fun, they're gonna go,

you were there, they don't give me shit, you know. Everyone respects their, like loves their parents, whether they're a cop or a fire, doesn't, they don't care. Time. They respect time. They respect time. So now I'm going like, what am I doing this for now? You know, I'm like, I had this moment

where I had like this sold out weekend where I went, cause I was hoping the tickets were sold, tickets were sold, and the tickets were sold, and I felt empty and I was like, oh fuck. Oh yeah. And that's when you feel that, I'm like, I gotta look under the hood. Oh yeah.

I don't wanna look under the hood. And I'm like, where's the coke? Here's the, I want coke. Yeah. This, that's the time to do coke or just buy something stupid. And then you'll feel nothing for a little bit. I did get it.

And then so I've been looking under the hood a little bit. Dude, I go, who am I, what do I want, why am I doing this? Fun is one of my favorite things. Like if I'm having a great time, then it's like, all right, I like that. Obviously, I know I need to make the money for the family and for more money, the better. But I'm starting to go like, where's the fun? I want to having a great time, then it's like, all right, I like that. Obviously, I know I need to make the money for the family and for more money, the better. But I'm starting to go like, where's the fun?

I want to have a good time, and then I want to get home to my daughter. God, this made me so uncomfortable. This is all the stuff I try to avoid talking about. It's tough, man. It's tough looking under the, taking a peek under the hood. Taking a peek is not good.

You know what, it's looking to sausage, how it's made. Oh, no, man. Why do I do what I do? Who am I? Why? What's this? Edit out this clip and send it to my therapist. It's rough. Yeah, I got three right now. Yeah, I got a team. That's good. I got a team work. I'm proactive. I got great. I got the guy I've been with forever. Right. Yeah. Then I added I wanted another opinion. I wanted to someone else. Does does the first guy know about the other guy. Oh, it's a secret I thought about doing this I thought about doing this I don't know how to bring it up. I feel bad sick of barbers

Like when you cheat on a bar like I don't know Yeah, I can't it's the one thing I haven't told them now thousands of thousands of millions of people know I hope he finds out. What if this is how he finds out? What if this is how he finds out? This is fucking hilarious. He's like, I'm actually a huge two-bearers fan. I watch two bears every week. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, what the fuck, man, you cheating on me? Oh, no. And who's number three? One time I did a session back to back. You did? Yeah! Look at him.

I had her, and then when I finished, his Zoom call came right at the moment I scheduled them back to back. He had no idea. They don't know. He didn't know it was always number two No, but number one neither one of them nobody I just want another one second opinion dude Okay, how similar are there? It's one of is a guy, one of them is a guy, and then I intentionally wanted female. I wanted like a more nurturing, empathetic look,

because a guy therapist can be like, come on man, get your shit together, fucking, you know. And I got a lot of mom issues, so I was like, I need a woman too. I need like, you know, two people, sitting on this, and then I got a third. I got a psychiatrist who I check in with once a month. Okay, okay.

Now, but he just throws a pills at you. I love that guy. I do not know what he is. A guy and girl, like number one and number two, do they align, or is it like, is it, are you like, oh shit, this guy's saying this and she's saying that, like, is it, you know what I mean? Is it like pretty similar feedback

or is it wildly different? They align more. And I, you know, they get two. I got two, man. Dude, I highly recommend it. Really? I highly recommend it. Yeah, it's been great.

I always want sessions to go longer. Yeah, and you always go like, let's do this again. Yeah. I hate when they cut you off and you're not finished. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you see their eyes dart to the clock. It's almost like when a girl sucks, she's digging. She doesn't, and she stops. And then you leave like with blue ball. You're like,

I was about to cry. And you know, it's, you got times up, but I was almost there. It's like right here. Right here. And yeah, you got to go talk to someone else. Oh my god. But yeah, you don't have that problem because you can go talk to someone else. I got another one. Yeah. She also responds to like tax and stuff like that. Really? Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Well, I'm going to do another one. Yeah. She also responds to like tax and stuff like that. Really? Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Well, I'm going through like that, I'm going kind of through this.

Now I'm going like looking under the hood and having kids and I got a second one on the way and like congrats on that. Thank you. You know what you're having? Another girl. So yeah, just, you know, girl dead. I'd say that's the name of my tour has been girl dead

because a lot of the jokes are just about like having girls. And yeah, dude, I've never loved it. It's like, it's brought back everything. Like I built this personality based on the walls that I created to sort of not peek under the hood. Sure, of course. And then now what my therapist told me, I'm in such a good place now,

and I've built like a loving family, that now my, your brain is sort of like a protection organ is totally. And then my brain's going like, okay, now you're in a good enough place now where you can deal with it now. And you come but I don't want to, but your brain just goes, here it is.

You have to do this now in order to become a better person so you can, it's like evolution happens. And for your kids, for your universe, you volunteering, you're like, I have a little issues with my mother, and then the world just gave you two a little trouble. Yeah, so here's more to that. Here's more, here's more of that.

Here you deal with this. Yes, yes, so it's a lot of that. Also I was shot and I have trauma from that and I just kind of buried, yeah. I forget that, that's right. I hear that, yeah. I derailed my whole shit. Especially since I was like, I had trauma from a kid

and then when I got shot, that triggered that. When were you shot? 2001, when I first started doing comedy. Where? And it was outside a nightclub in New York City. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah, 2001.

Was it May 2001? A straight or somebody? No, no, it was an intentional robbery. I was with my, so old friend of mine was a party promoter. He just, and I used to work there when I started doing comedy. So I would like, and he would carry like a lot of money on him, cash, like to the car. So we had like a security guy walk with us up

to his car, but it was like a set up robbery. It was a set up, it had to be, yeah. But from the security guy? No, no, no, we don't think so, no, no, not him. I actually still know that dude, no, not him. So, but we don't know exactly what happened, but the guy, he ended up doing 10 years, he went to prison and everything like that,

and I had to testify at the trial as brutal. But it was, you know, really. He was probably, he probably, was it one guy or a mole? One guy, it was one guy. So I was getting in the passenger side of the car, right? And I just kind of looked over my shoulder and I saw him coming, right?

With the gun out, saw the gun and mask on, like a full, you know, like the eyes and the fucking ski mask, like yeah. So I just made the decision to try to get in the car quick and close the door. I don't know why, like I didn't, I didn't have the money, I mean, he had the money, I mean, it wasn't right in me,

but I just decided to stay there. And I tried to get in, so he saw me see him and he kind of sped up and like ran, like sped up and like as I was closing door, he like fell, and he beat me to close in the door. And so I kind of fell into the car, and it was like a jeep, but it was a Cherokee, I remember. And so I saw the gun in his hand,

and I just grabbed his hand to like get away, it was just an instinct. And then I pushed it down and he fired, and I got shot right here in the inner, right close to the penis. Yeah, really? Yeah, yeah. And so you're inner thigh?

Inner thigh. It would both travel up into my butt and stayed there for a while. Cause they just, if a, you know, if a foreign object is in your body, your body was slowly regained. Try to get up. So they were just like,

it's too deep in there eventually. And it did. It would push, like I'd play basketball and I would feel it like ripping tissue slowly and it would come to the surface and then eventually a surgeon took it out. Which was a funny thing when the surgeon took it out, I guess they gave me the prop of all

and they put me in the stir-ups because they were doing the surgery there. And I woke up from farting right in their face as they were pulling the bullet out. It's true story actually. I was in the stir-ups, you don't know where you are. And they're down there getting the bullet out and I just ripped.

When they're fake, the bullet was real close to my asshole. So I farted right in the nurse in the surgeon's face. And this is what it could have gone through your dick. It could have gone through my dick. And the cops were assholes about it when I was in there. Like if you had a bigger dick, if you think it was a little bigger, it would be a problem.

You know, you would have been a trouble there. And when they're trying to get information, they fuck, they, like I was like a victim of a crime, right? Oh yeah. And they come in and like, so it's going on here. You know, how you doing this is, I'm Sergeant O'Hanlin. It's his Murphy. We talked to the guy and he says,

if you would have did, if he would have did what he did to me, to you, you would have done the same thing. So what is this, some sort of beef between you guys? He was like trying to get me to what? Because usually when someone gets shot, it's not like they didn't do something. And cops will just do that. They'll lie to see if you say something.

And what are you talking about, man? And I was like, actually, hurt by it. And I was like, I understand why women might get like a little, you know, like they're like the victims of a crime. And like, so what were you wearing? You know, I'm handling this just Murphy. So what are you doing out of two in the morning? You're fair and so okay.

Just dancing being a person. Yeah, but you kind of, you like it, right? You're drinking. They don't want to do paperwork, you know, they fucking. So like, this isn't really a thing, right? It's not a thing, right? Could we make this go away? Cause we want to go home? Holy shit, so

House blew that do they get that you're not this isn't a beef pretty quickly though when they kind of yeah I mean, I think they kind of did they weren't like you're at the hospital I was at the hospital and they they came over to my like bed and like we're interview image Jesus yeah, right, yeah, and there was a hot doctor there on call Yeah, and because the shot was doctor there on call. Yeah. And because the shot was like, there's a major artery that runs on your leg. So, and they also wanted to make sure like nothing was,

like my anus tube was, I don't know, wisdom. So she went up, she was hot too, and like she, and you're like shot. And I had to, yeah, and she like went and checked. It was feeling around to make sure there was no damage. Yeah. And that was not great. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, a little great. A little weird way. I was feeling opposite. How, and that was not great. Nah, nah, yeah. Not a little great. A little weird way. I was feeling opposite. How did this guy get caught? He, so the shot happened, the cops, this was like a bad nightclub. It was like a lot of gangsters went this like up. His club was called Envy.

Did he get the money? I forgot that part. He did not get the money. So he just shot me and ran. And ran, okay. And it's amazing because like I was so common aware in that moment. So I was like, common aware. It's really weird.

Pain? Are you feeling the little pain? No, it's burns. It's a delayed reaction. The adrenaline takes care of you. You don't feel a fucking thing. Later, there's hot. It was hot.

And it's just a neat little round hole. Like blood dripping out of it. And I didn't know where I was. There's so much adrenaline. I didn't know where I was hot. And it's just a neat little round hole, like blood dripping out of it. And I didn't know where I was. There's so much adrenaline. I didn't know where I was shot. I was like looking for it. And then the way I realized was the blood running down my leg. And yeah, so I was so aware.

I pretended to be more hurt than I was, even though I didn't know if I was hurt or not, which is weird. I guess I was still. Because he was like, you just feel like completely, you know, vulnerable. You're like, you got me, you got a gun. So like when he, the loud noise, loudest noise I ever heard, I smelled the gun powder.

And then I just kind of went limp. So like I wanted to pretend like I was hurt more than I was, so he would stop, right? And so that's what I did. And I just kind of went limp and fell on the ground. Like I almost played dead. And then he ran away. The cops were close by because they were always watching

that club because it was such a problematic club. Jesus. So they heard the shot, other people, you know, was still in the street, they chased him down, they found them. Oh, right then, they got him coming in some bushes. They got the gun, he was done. He did, you know, he was done, yeah.

Ten years. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Where's your, do you remember calling your parents to tell them? Like what was it? I remember calling my mother and she came with her sister. And this is actually, I don't even cry here. Because I remember like, now she came.

She came to the, I was with my girlfriend at the time who was a ADA. She was a assistant just to attorney for men. So she actually knew the woman who handled my case. And then my mom and her aunt came and they came, checked me out, and then they're like, we have some relatives from Greece, we have to go to dinner.

And they just like, ah! She kept her schedule. Ah! She probably said, look, we're still doing dinner, I just gotta go stop. My son got shot, and I gotta just go stop at the hospital and say hello to him.

Check in, you good? Okay, well, we got dinner. My mother went to eat dinner. She didn't cancel her fucking plants. Okay, yeah. I know. You know what's going on. You know why I stand on a wood plank and get paid chicken fingers for 10 years. I know. You know what's going on. You know now why I stand on a wood plank

and get paid chicken fingers for 10 years. I know why you do stand up. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. And did your girlfriend? She stayed. Yeah.

I totally cheated on her and took her for granted. Yeah. Yeah. She was there. She fucking waited on me while I was yeah whatever a couple days while I was healing That was like I'm a fuck some other woman Christ we're all pieces. Yeah, we were fungus growing out of rock. What can you do? I'm kidding by the way It's all jokes all the women should vote and shouldn't be hit. I was just kidding

Seven so to be fucking really bashed women. That's some of them deserve it. Sometimes it depends on what they said. Holy shit, so how long just, I'm just wanna get this full thing, so you didn't get the money, he got caught immediately. He did 10 years in prison. He had priors, yeah, he had priors.

He had priors, yeah, something down. I don't really remember too much, but yeah. He got caught, he went to try, pleaded not guilty, he got convicted. He pleaded not guilty. pleaded not guilty. What was the defense? I don't know, wasn't him or something like that.

Oh really? Yeah. And what was it like testifying it? I hated it. I really didn't want to, like, you know, but. They asked you to, the, the, Yeah, they asked me to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was just brutal. It was like fucking, when you get cross-examined, it's just like, you know, but I was honest. I was honest. But what could you get, I mean, you're a victim of a shooting. What are you getting, like, well, what were you wearing? Yeah, what are they asking about? What are they asking about?

Yeah, so I was just honest, because I could not see him. So it wasn't, I was just on and I said, I couldn't. I was like, he had a mask on, I couldn't see him. Yeah, you know, but I was like, they had to close and they're like, yeah, I reckon I couldn't. I was like, he had a mask on. I couldn't see him. Yeah, you know, but I was like, I did, they had to close and they're like, yeah, I reckon I was just honest. Yeah. I think my friend was kind of like, that's him.

My friend just went all out. I was like, yeah, I think he had the, but he got tackled like on the way out of there, right? Who did? The shooter didn't even, no, he didn't get tackled. I thought, I thought you said that they caught him, they caught him hiding in some bushes. Oh, right, so I'm saying that.

But so they got him like immediate, in the immediate aftermath. They got him in the immediate aftermath. He's like, I was just looking for sit in the bushes. Yeah, I was like, man, I love squirrels. I want the contact at 2.30 in the morning. They sell it in the bushes. Yeah, he's like, what?

And they're like, well, we also found a gun because he put the, he hid the gun. I remember under like a car, chocked it somewhere. Yeah. And they're like, they got that. He's like, I don't have seen that thing in my life. I don't know if I would go.

Yeah, he had like, it was like, what's this man? I don't know, man, COVID's coming in 25 years. Yeah. Holy shit. That's wild, dude. Yeah, it's, when I got the bullet removed, I was doing social work at the time, right? I've told the story before, but I'll tell you, I was doing social work. So I, I got the bullet removed, I was doing social work at the time. I've told the story before, but I'll tell you,

I was doing social work. So I got the bullet removed two years later, right? So I got quick comment. I started doing comedy, but I was having panic attacks when I'll get on stage. It was like, the worst part of it was the psychological part. Of course. And how long, how long you in the hospital, by the way?

It was one night. It was just one night, and then I had to, it was so swollen that when I took a shit or piss, I had to piss like a woman for a while. Like I couldn't stand and I'd have to hover like a woman at a club, you know? Not wanting to sit on a dirty, it was brutal. But so I was doing social work at the time.

I was doing 9-11 disaster relief at the time and I worked with a lot of like older black Christian women. So when I got the bullet removed, I had to go first to get the X-ray, right? And the bullets, like right there, right? So I got, I went and got the X-rays and then came back to work, and they all knew, and they wanted to see it.

They were like, let's see the X-ray, I wanna see the bullet. You know, and I hadn't looked at it yet. So there's these big envelopes. So I pulled about, and I put the X-ray up on the window, and the X-ray picks up your entire penis. So it was like the bullet and like thank God my penis was a little bigger than the bullet, but it was like, it was just like a limp penis.

And like all these Christian women were like, just fucking, you know, oh my. Oh God. It was really funny. Holy shit dude. And it detergied from doing stand on those pants. Yeah, fuck me up for Louis. That's when I was like, I started having the,

and that's when I didn't know what paddock text was. I was like 22 or something like that. I didn't know what they were. The internet was like a new thing in 2001. It was around, but it was like, not like the Presario. So it was like, I was like, what's going on? And plus I was just like a dude.

So I was like, I get on the train and I'd? And plus I was just like a dude. So I was like, I'd get on the train and I'd be like, I'd start like, you know, feeling like that build up a carbon dioxide in your body and like, am I gonna faint? And then you go, why am I bugging out? Like I had no, I couldn't make the, your brain is so fucking wild. And I've looked like so much, so much is subconscious

and like it's making decisions that you're not making sometimes, because it's protecting you, and it thinks you're in danger. And when those wires get crossed, those panic attacks, that fight or fletch, and I had no idea, and I'd get off the train. I'd be like, and I'd be like frozen stiff. And then one, I got to the point where I was like,

so frozen stiff I couldn't move, and I told my friend, I was with my friends, I was like, I'm having a heart attack, I'm dying or something like that. And then you get to the hospital and they're like, you're fine and you're like, what? What do you mean I'm fine? Yeah.

I'm like, that just felt, oh, and they're like, yeah, you're crazy. You have a lot of stress in your life. You're like, no, I'm 22, man. And then I went to therapy and it's PTSD. I had trauma from, because you go from this benign denial, that's what I call it. I figure that's the best way to describe it.

You live your whole life thinking that nothing like that can happen, right? So you live in benign denial. You just don't think about it. But then when it happens, your brain for a while goes to the other extreme and you go like, oh shit, this shit could happen at any moment. And you're not even consciously doing that.

It's like your brain going like, look out. Who's behind you. The computer is running. Fuck yeah, yeah. And you're not even consciously doing that. It's like your brain going like, look out. It's like a computer is running. Fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then you have to deal with that. Well, because like it's one of those things where somebody goes, what are you going to get shot? You know, like when you're out there,

it's like most people go, it's not going to happen to you. And then you go, yeah, I'm not going to get shot, dude. It's crazy. It's a crazy thing to say or think. And then like when you, when that one percent of one percent thing happens to you, you're like, oh shit, this stuff does happen. Yeah, and it could happen at any moment, I guess.

Now that's what your brain's doing. You know what else? I did have that moment. I know that I don't freak out. Let me do that moment of like, cause I thought I was dying. Like it was, it felt like this is it. I had that moment. It's a, that moment is so weird because it's like a dream.

Time slows down. I was doing like 10 things at the same time. Your brain just like takes care of you. You're going like, this is my last moment. So you think about people you love, you're like, you're defect, you're thinking about how you're going to deal with the situation that's happening in hand.

And you're also going, oh, fuck. This is it. Like, and then you also going, oh fuck, this is it. And then you look at your life. You have that moment, you go like, who was I with the, and dude, yeah, you don't think of it, it's cliche, but the truth is I had that moment, you don't think about the cars,

you don't think about the loo, you think about people, I'll say that it's people. You think about people. Maybe that's cause we're a social animal and that's animal stuff too, but you think about people. And here's the thing something you weren't on a death store, but your brain still does that. I had my brain was like this is it.

And I had the same thing when I was in the hospital. I had a broken arm and a leg that didn't function. So like, when did that, what happened? When I played basketball. Oh yeah, you tried to do the air. I tried to do it. I tried to do it. But in that hospital, like when I was gonna. Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. What you tried to do, the air cigarette. Or the air cigarette. But in that hospital,

like when I was gonna go into surgery, I was incredibly emotional, and I was looking at life the same way. In other words, and I wasn't consciously doing this. It was just happening to me. Where I was like, what am I doing with my life? And I was thinking about relationships, people, what I've doing with my life? And I was always thinking about relationships,

people, what I've done with my life. Yeah, I wasn't thinking about anything else. I wasn't thinking about stand-up comedy or careers. You think about people. What's the point of life? How am I living life? You know, parents, family, friend, like all those things,

very emotional, extreme, and felt uncontrollable. And yeah, and then someone would go, what do you, you have broken limbs? Like you're not gonna, but it's like, yeah, it just happens anyway. Because it's traumatic. Yeah, it was trauma. It was so traumatic that it triggers that response

in your mind and your body, and you just, you just kind of, you're in that. You're just a wild moment. And then you come out your body and you just kind of you're in that. You're just a wild moment and then you come out of it and you're like, women are fucking stupid. That's what it was. Now I feel fine. It just feels good to admit it. They got smaller brains. That's why the basketballs are smaller. And you know, hands smaller brains. I can kick any woman's ass to you. Run up, try to tuck shit, see what happens. Yeah, go ahead, I told the nurse, I go, fuck you up.

You know. Yeah. Um. Yana's pop is everybody. Make sure you check out his special mom love available on YouTube. And you have another one. It was it, was it right? Yeah, blowing the light. Blowing the light.

Andrew Schultz produced that. That's on YouTube as well. Please go to JanusPapasCommity.com for tickets. Again, please come see me at the Wilbur. Come see me. Gotta go. Thank you. Boston Go Go Go. Yes. We're out the Paramount. Paramount in Long Island and the Sony Hall in New York City and a bunch of other dates.

Just go to yannispapascomedy.com for tickets. See me live. There you go. It's always better live. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Bert. Tom.

Simon Bert. One goes top and swat the other. Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories in Bert's thum machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave No scripts to bet a booze amateur for topology Dirty jokes, crunchy humor, no apologies Here's what we call, two bears one cave.