A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - AITA For Eating Before My Date Arrives? ft. Morgan Absher
Episode Date: August 28, 2024Today, we're joined by Morgan Ashley Absher, host of Two Hot Takes, to go through some AITA questions on Reddit! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: htt...p://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen Check out Rhett & Link's Wonderhole at https://www.youtube.com/@rhettandlink To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This. This. This. This. Is Mythical. Am I the asshole if I bring a gallon Ziploc of my homemade hot sauce to a restaurant? Not if you share it with the other tables there.
Have you really done that before?
Wouldn't you like to know?
This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich!
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, a hot dog is awich, the show we break down the world's biggest
food debates.
I'm your host, Josh Scherer.
And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati.
And we have a very special guest joining us today.
Please welcome the host of the Too Hot Cakes podcast, Morgan Ashley Absher.
Welcome.
Hello.
Welcome.
So I've never brought my own hot sauce to a restaurant.
What I did do is I brought my own french fries to a Chipotle to ask if they would make me
a California burrito with the french fries to a Chipotle to ask if they would make me a
California burrito with the french fries instead of the rice and and they would not the first time Chipotle has ever cared about food safety
They wouldn't let and that's the tea right there. Oh, no, but thank you so much for joining us today
I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me absolutely
We need a sort of spiritual shepherd through our first ever journey into the am I the asshole?
Subreddit tell me about the am I the asshole subreddit. It is a crazy place
What isn't on that subreddit? I mean you will find relationship problems
Wedding tea food debates you name it
It's really a place where people can go and have a mostly neutral third party response
to whatever issue they're dealing with.
My God, and now we become the neutral third party response
and I'm really- I was born for this.
You really were, you love judging other people,
I think in a great way.
Yeah, yeah, I think a little bit of judgment's good,
you know, I'm not the morality police,
but I got pretty good insights.
Also- It's a good time.
I'm so glad that you're here,
because Nicole and I have been,
we're in echo chamber, right?
Just in here for the last four and a half years together.
We need somebody else to call us on our own bullshit.
Just listening to each other talk, yeah, yeah, yeah, so true.
So we're gonna run through a couple stories today.
We're gonna give you first crack at it,
and then we're all gonna decide collectively
if they are indeed the assholes,
or if, as we all know, Nicole and I are.
Okay.
So I'm gonna start with this one.
It's, am I the asshole for eating before my date arrived to the restaurant?
Yes.
Yes.
So for context, I'm not a foodie.
I eat to get full and not as an experience.
I'll often eat at home before dinner outings just because I don't want to wait and rather
enjoy the experience of the outing, which for me doesn't involve the eating portion.
I met this girl online and we agreed on meeting at a restaurant for dinner to get to know
each other more.
Fast forward day of our day, we agreed to meet at 9pm.
Now my day was super busy with work and I didn't get to eat lunch and it's almost 8pm
and I'm starving so I get ready and head out to the date still having no food.
I like getting to a date early so I can check out the environment.
He's a Navy SEAL casing the joint.
Pick the best seats and just prepare in general so I arrived about 45 minutes early this time.
Still starving, I decide I should eat to get that out of the way or I'll be hungry and
cranky having to wait another hour or so before I can eat. I finished my meal and ordered a cocktail.
By this point my date is almost arriving. She gets to the restaurant and we
instantly clicked. She's smiling and we're having a great conversation.
She's touching my hand. It's going over all very extremely well. Eventually she
asked if I would like to order some food to which I respond, no thank you I'm not
hungry. And she insists saying she doesn't want to eat alone but I tell her
don't worry and
eat and that I am enjoying my cocktail.
So we call the waiter over and she starts asking him for recommendations to which he
responds with no ill intentions that it seemed like I'd really enjoy the tacos so maybe she
should try them.
Oh no.
Blowing up his spot.
And at this point she's confused and asks what does that mean so I told her I ate some
tacos before she arrived.
She immediately becomes furious saying,
I'm rude and who eats before a date has even arrived?
I explained to her that my goal was to get to know her
and that the eating portion wasn't important.
Regardless, the whole mood changed.
She ordered some food, ate and made an excuse
to have to leave.
I haven't heard from her since then.
And that was that, that was last night.
So am I the asshole?
Morians, what say you?
Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah. Yeah?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
When you're asking someone out on a dinner date,
you're kind of expecting both people to eat.
No one wants to sit there and awkwardly stuff their face
and try to have a conversation
when the other person is staring at them.
Oh my gosh, right.
If you're that hungry, you skipped lunch,
eat before you go to the restaurant
and then get a little appetizer
But to just stare at her as she's trying to eat that it's weird. It's weird. It's rude. It's tacky. Not a fan
This subreddit rules, man. This is hilarious
Let's go through some red flags before any of that even happens if you found out somebody showed up to a date 45 minutes early
To check out the environment and pick the best seats, which I would say takes 90 seconds, what would you think if
somebody got there 45 minutes early?
It seems pathological.
It's a little aggressive.
If someone's maybe like 10 minutes early or something for parking, well, we live in LA
and we know how hectic and congested parking can be. So...
Or even traffic, like adjusting for...
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
And maybe, you know, he's a little bit nervous.
It's his first day.
45 minutes is actually not normal.
And like to go into the restaurant for 45 minutes.
Because I've like adjusted for traffic and ended up 25 to half an hour early.
And then I kill time by myself.
I'm near the restaurant and then I will go there six minutes early,
you know, which is like a reasonable amount of early time
I think to show up.
Totally.
Yeah, as someone who's been a server before,
I would have thought he was getting stood up.
I would have been like,
there's no way his date is coming.
Why is he sitting here?
He says he's waiting for a date.
I would have for sure thought he got stood up.
Right, right.
Like that is too early.
She's touching his hand
before they ever even order drinks though.
That's good on her for making that bold move.
I know.
Probably hot. Love that.
That's pretty cool.
It's probably hot.
Um.
The idea for him that there's no in-between of,
I'm gonna eat a full meal of tacos and a cocktail
to satiate my hunger, travel with a handful of cashews.
I was gonna say, take-
Handful of nuts could've solved everything here.
Take a granola bar with yourself.
What are you doing eating tacos at a restaurant
that you're gonna take a girl out on?
I really don't like this.
It's like, this actually like kind of made my blood boil
a little bit.
It's upsetting.
It's awkward then.
I know.
And then she's like, well, you're not gonna eat?
She literally is saying, I don't wanna eat alone.
So at that point, dude, you order something,
you suck it up
And you have a little nibble with her put up or shut up order the artichoke dip whatever something in your life
It's we it's just so weird to me
Like one of the best parts about going on a date for me is like seeing how someone eats and handles food
I think it's it's important to see I agree. I don't like the thought that people are analyzing
the way I'm eating.
Of course.
Welcome to the real world, Morgan.
Okay, never eating in public again.
You are being perceived, I'm so sorry.
When have you had a negative experience,
or positive experience, where you noticed
the way somebody ate food, and were like,
this is either a disqualifier or I'm in love?
Well, I think for me, it's like whenever I see someone
eating a Neapolitan pizza like a really like like wet pizza
My instinct is so stupid. I like take it and I almost like flip it almost like a tech deck
I like I like take the tip of the pizza and I flip it and then I bite it
Okay, sometimes I see people like use their fork and knife to like bite the bite the end of it off and that like pisses me off
You are so sick. You are like in Neapolitan piece of rule
supposed to eat it with a knife and fork.
Well, that's my ick.
Well, that's fine, but that's a beautiful
sort of metaphor for all this, right?
Is like, all of us are freaky little weirdos
or weird little freaks, whichever you prefer,
and there's a freaky little weirdo
or weird little freak for us out there.
And dating is just trying to match
those Lego pieces together.
These people are awful Lego pieces to match together. No, they don't fit. They don't fit.
Have you ever like had an experience watching somebody eat
and judge them for that, either positive or negative?
I think sushi is one of those where you really judge people.
And I did sushi on a first date and I will never.
Luckily, I don't think I have to do it again, but I will like never do that again.
Don't recommend sushi on a first date.
It's so awkward.
And the way that some people handle chopsticks,
it just can really...
Eh!
Very, very good point.
I never thought that I had an ick.
Because I've heard a lot of icks.
Mostly I feel like girls talking about guys.
Yeah, sure.
One good one I heard is a man who bunny ears his shoelaces to tie them. I think I just realized my ick, which is unfair, and I think by definition, icks are a little bit unfair.
Yes.
Yeah, they are.
Struggling with chopsticks is a bit of an ick for me.
Yeah.
So it's like, I think we have different values in life.
Yeah, it's just, I, you gotta try, like, at least make the attempt.
I think when people don't even attempt chopsticks,
they're like, oh, I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna in life. Yeah, it's just, I, you gotta try.
Like, at least make the attempt.
I think when people don't even attempt chopsticks
and they go for the fork, that's even worse.
Like, I appreciate the effort,
because not everyone grew up, like, being exposed to that type of cuisine.
So I get it, but don't take out the fork.
Just at least try.
Use your hands.
Yeah.
Sushi's hand food anyways.
Watching my fiancee Julia, we've been together for five years, eat on our first date. There
was a very key moment. Everybody's heard this story. But there was a very
key moment on our first date. We went to like a pretty nice restaurant. We just
ordered this blitzkrieg of food and there were these like tamarind caramel
glazed carrots and we'd had like you know two cocktails and we're just in
this heated conversation about some stupid podcast.
Podcasts, who's listening to them anymore anyways.
I need you.
Um, but she like is talking about the right to have internet archives deleted and whether or not it's constituted.
And she just grabs a carrot, swipes it through caramel, eats it and goes...
...
So anyways, journalistic and tech-
And I was like, yes, she knows how to party, but like
she gets that amount of joy and doesn't care about certain rules in the same way that I
don't.
So that was a huge moment.
And I was like, we, the Lego pieces.
I love that.
I love that.
Matched as freak.
Do you think this person's freak can be matched though?
Somebody who shows up 45 minutes early to a date doesn't understand why.
Yes.
You think, yeah, I mean, every freak can be matched.
Yeah, I think so.
There's definitely people out there that have punctuality anxiety,
and someone will probably show up 45 minutes,
and they'll lock eyes across the bar, and the rest will be history.
I showed up to a date once, and my date had already drank two vodka sodas,
and I learned that's a red flag for a different reason.
Party!
No, sometimes theying goes too far.
So pretty unanimously that person is the asshole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I hope they find an asshole that fits their asshole.
Me too.
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Um, okay, this one, uh, I'm excited about because I love expensive dinners. Am I the asshole for blocking a man after he bought me a $500 plus dinner?
I was invited on a date and he asked me, what's your favorite restaurant?
My honest answer was my favorite place is a bit much for a first date, but I did still
tell him about it because, well, I thought he was cool and truly loved the place so I tell everyone about it hoping they'll go
I want him to stay booked and busy so they'll stay open so I can keep going I get that relationship a lot
I said the first first date we could go out somewhere more casual like a cool Mexican spot between us has over 300 tequilas
No tequila library. Oh, they're a booty, but it's still pretty cheap when it comes to food
Ultimately he wanted to pick I was trying to be helpful and make suggestions.
Also, we live in different parts of the big city with terrible traffic that's car dependent.
My favorite restaurant, on the other hand, is $500 for two people.
I take myself there sometimes after personal accomplishments or just for a treat.
Sometimes I go just to have one of their James Beard award-winning cocktails.
Well this gentleman, upon researching the menu, decides this is where he wants to take
me for dinner.
He really wanted to try it out. Of course I agree.
Despite the price point, it's actually a pretty chill spot. You don't have to dress up. It's a great date spot.
For me first dates are usually inexpensive considering you don't know the person and the conversation is more important than the meal.
We have apps, we have drinks, we have dinner, we have conversation, we have dessert, we have a good time from my perspective.
This means we ran up a serious bill.
Pay time comes.
We do the check dance. Sort of. This means he ran up a serious bill. Pay time comes.
We do the check dance, sort of. Of course, since it's a first date, I say, oh, separate checks. Not that I don't pay on subsequent dates,
I just mean the first time when you don't know if a guy thinks that the woman pays means she's uninterested.
He also says separate checks. So cool, we're on the same page, basically at the same time.
I won't lie, I hesitated and said it after he was
saying it because he asked me out and also insisted we went there after he
read the menu and wanted to try the food. Alright, so the checks come, he says
separate checks and then she kind of goes, oh separate checks. Seems to be the
scenario. So our separate checks come, no problem by me. I put my card down, he puts
his down. When our server comes back to grab them, he takes my card, gives her both the checks with
his card saying he'd cover it, and then he looks at my card intensely.
It's not that I think he's some sort of number savant where he's stealing my info, though
I have bartended for years and a dumbass slash genius could memorize card numbers at a glance.
It was the game he played.
He invited me on a date, so I assumed he was paying.
He then said separate checks, making sure I knew I was paying for myself.
Then he grabbed the checks and paid it all, knowing the server and me. I feel like this is a test.
Mm-hmm.
To see-
This is a thing- you both said them! This is a thing people do?
Yeah.
How dare they? To see if I had pony up $250 to read restaurant bill,
I felt like he was checking to see if I was a gold digger or something.
How- mmm, anyways. Even though I literally told him we shouldn't go there on the first date the place
I suggested we could have gone for tacos and tequilas would have been less than 50 bucks
I said thank you for dinner got my uber left blocked him told all my friends a story and they laughed at me saying that
I was the villain so
There's a test villain. There's a test that
People do we can safely probably say men with a lot of accuracy,
to see if someone is willing to pay,
but then as a power move, they refuse that
and pay themselves.
Yeah.
Have you had this happen?
No, I haven't.
Yes.
Whoa.
I wish it would have though,
because I would have insisted,
do not take my card out of that check
I'm paying for it because at that point like you're being rude you were testing me. It's not
Come on. We're getting off on a really bad foot if this relationship is built on these weird psychological games
Is weird is there any alternate explanation because when I I first read this, I thought that maybe
he was just indecisive in the moment, which is like a bit unattractive and unbecoming in its own right. If somebody goes like
separate checks and then they immediately have a pang of guilt and go like, oh no, no, no, I should pay.
And I understand people who flubbed, they fumbled in that moment, but ultimately came to the right decision.
But they actually left an edit and update here
Okay, where they say that the man then took her card and said oh now I finally know your last name
Which are people obscuring their last names if they're going out on dates sounds like a reasonable safety thing
Yeah, I feel like if it's maybe a first date from like a dating app, then maybe.
That tracks.
Like especially, you know, today's times, you never know.
Worth being safe.
But it is a weird move that he like analyzed the car and was judging it and like getting
her name and it's just the whole thing's a little uncomfortable when it didn't need
to be at all.
I have no problem with splitting checks.
I actually appreciate it on a first date.
It feels like there's no pressure. need to be at all. I have no problem with splitting checks. I actually appreciate it on a first date.
It feels like there's no pressure.
If he's offering and really insists, then sure, take it.
But otherwise, I don't have a problem with that.
It's just the game and how weird he made it.
Yeah.
He's playing a really weird game.
Yeah.
And he lost the game.
He lost it and he didn't play the game right.
What are you,
When you say the game, are you talking about Neil Strauss's book? It sounds like that would come from it's but I never read it
I've read that book I've skimmed it and but I've never seen anything about check play and like that and like that sort of series
But I just I just don't get why he did that. I don't get why he stared at her card
So intently I don't understand why he said yes to going to that restaurant in the first place and then acting. Why were you acting
so weird? I don't know if he's the asshole. I think he's the weirdo in this scenario.
Yeah.
I don't think he's an asshole. I think this is just a weird... Maybe this was his first
time taking a girl out to a very expensive dinner and like he didn't know how to act.
I'm not sure, but I don't think asshole is the right... Is the operative word here. I think he's the weirdo. She's not the asshole for blocking him at all.
Yeah, she is not the asshole.
She did the right thing. He, who is he to ask for separate, ask for separate checks,
hold both checks in his hand and then put, it's just, I hated this from the second you
read it.
We knew.
And we both were like, like,
You really did both know. I had never heard of this test before.
Yeah. I also am kind of confused by the friends calling her the villain.
There may have been some gentle shit talking.
That's a little goofy though. It's like, you guys know, like,
where are my girls? Like, he was being goofy with me.
This is not normal.
I think it's because she said that she probably, like, waxed poetic
about this restaurant. I was like, oh, I love this place.
It's so incredible.
I always go there.
She hyped it up and then she like took it back.
So maybe some of her girlfriends were thinking like, oh, you like led him to think that this
place is incredible and then you took it back hoping that he would say, no, no, we have to go.
Tarot face.
So you think he could be telling this story to people and being like, yeah, she obviously wanted to go to this really expensive restaurant
and she pressured me into doing it, but then she walked it back and said,
no, no, we can go to this cheap spot.
But then I thought that was a test.
You think that he could be saying that.
Yeah. Oh, and he easily probably is.
Yeah. And I get that.
But like at the same time, like if you only want to pay 50 bucks,
they still had 300 different tequilas.
Sounds like a rad fuck.
It's a good time.
Get a good mezcal and I'm just like,
it doesn't have to be so difficult.
Don't go to the $500 spot on the first one.
Date number three at least.
Dude, I don't know.
There's no reason to show off.
And if you're showing off
and that's the only reason she likes you,
then that's not someone you want either.
So true.
I... Who do you... Okay.
On a majority of first dates that you've been on,
who has paid? Because you said that you generally split.
I like to split, but that doesn't mean
that's typically what happens.
Can you describe to me the typical interaction
that does happen? And like, estimate a percentage frequency,
if you can.
Yeah, back when I was dating, it's been five years for me.
Same. We're all in the same boat. We're operating 2019 holes here. a percentage frequency if you can. Yeah, back when I was dating, it's been five years for me.
Same work, we're all in the same boat.
We're all operating 2019 rules here.
It's so hard.
But I feel like you kind of do the shuffle and it's like,
oh, do you want to split it?
Or how do you want to go about this?
I always just kind of ask because I always got really awkward
and I didn't want there to be this assumption.
But it would usually end with a no no no don't
worry about it I got it and then going forward it's like oh well I'll get this
one or like how do you want to you know do you want to split or I got this one
since you got the last one it's just a communication thing but it is something
that says it says something larger about that person's character in them it's
similar thing watching people eat you're like extrapolating all these meanings
especially if it's an early date.
We're trying to figure out like, who's this person?
What makes them tick?
You know?
And so I think these little dances are important.
It's like, you know,
bumblebees communicating with this stupid little band
somewhere the honey is or whatever.
I know nothing about bees.
What is your preferred interaction
and then what generally happens?
Okay, so when I was dating, oh my god, who was I five years ago?
Who was I before I got engaged and married?
So for the most part, I would always, you know, reach for my bag
and then they would say, don't touch your bag,
don't touch your wallet, don't do that.
And that would happen 95% of the time.
They would say it with that intensity?
They would say, what are you doing?
I'm like, I'm just getting my, we're splitting then they would be like put your put your bag down. They big put it away
What are you doing? This is a first date. I got this and I was like
I think there was one time that I went on a date with a guy I went to a bar with him and
He got the first round of drinks and I had a feeling it wasn't going anywhere
So I'm like, I'll get the second round of drinks,
you know, just so you don't feel bad.
So there's no sort of like obligation or nobody else.
That was one time.
That was the one time on a first date.
Other than that, every single time I've been on a first date
doesn't matter what creed, what color, what anything,
they've always paid for the first date.
Wow.
The man, because I'm the only dated guy.
I think there's like a thing too, like in other relationships, you know, whatever it
is.
I think whoever asks the other person on the date should be the one to pay.
I think that is like a rule across the board.
At least the first one.
1000%.
I'm also in that arena where the men were asking me out
Yeah, so that tends to be like in like a majority. I'd say of straight relationships
That's what's been like culturally coded for a long time, right?
And I hope things are generally changing and getting more equitable, you know, um, I
I've always been the type where I I just like showing generosity, right?
I'll pay for the homies if we go out sometimes. And then expecting that that will sort of come back to me,
but I'm not doing it for that reason,
but that's like the cultural coding
between me and the homies.
It's like, there's no calculating the Venmo, whatever.
It's like, bro, I got this $200 order of Outback
coming to our Reno Airbnb, a real thing that happened.
And then that'll eventually be returned
for the last situation.
Kind of similar thing on dates, where it's like a bit of a, hey, I'm a trusting, generous person.
I remember that dance so well of like I would go, oh no, I got the stop.
And like you would always see the different speeds at which people, the different speeds and earnestness at which people would reach for the wallet.
Yeah.
Sometimes it'd be a very clear like I have no intention of my hand ever getting there But I am doing this and I would not hold that against anyone
Yeah, sometimes, you know, they'd be fully like ready and I go like no I have it and if they would you know
Fight back once I'd say like please I insist but then you don't fight after yeah
It's this little dance back and forth. Are you sure the person?
Really? Okay. However,
If you insist.
The person that I have the pleasure of marrying,
and I hope they think marrying me is a pleasure,
on our first date, I will never forget it.
I pulled out my wallet, she went for hers,
and I said, no, I invited you,
I got it, and she literally just goes,
we're both adults with jobs,
I wanted to be here,
I really had a great time,
we'll split it." And it
was this like, oh you have cut through thousands of years of stupid, antiquated,
gender-coded rules to a very clear truth, right? And like that made me so much more
attractive. It wasn't the fact that she paid for it, but it was the fact that like,
what are we do? We can just skip all that. That's beautiful. I'm an adult, I have a
job, let's both split it. And it was kind of can just skip all that. That's beautiful. I'm an adult, I have a job.
Let's both split it.
And it was kind of awesome.
And it's like said this bigger thing
about her and her character.
And I like that.
I love that.
Very cute.
I'm happy you found your person.
Yeah.
The Lego, the Lego's fit.
All right, we got-
She matched your freak.
She matched my freak.
We ordered all five desserts
on the dessert menu that night.
That's how you know, that's how you know
That's a real freak. I cannot stand people that are like, oh, I want a donut
Do you want to go get one with me? No, at least just be like, yeah, even if you don't want it
Just so I feel like I can it's not about the donut
Concept of getting the food together. Yeah, you want one more story Maggie Maggie
I give you one Josh one take this one Josh, you want to take this one?
Or do you want me to do one?
I think there's one about a celebration dinner
that is a little bit maddening.
Okay, take it. That's yours. I'm closing my laptop.
Close your laptop.
Y'all sit back. Enjoy.
Am I the asshole for not attending my husband's
celebration dinner due to the restaurant
not having anything I could eat?
We can pause real quick. Anytime somebody says there's nothing I can eat, very
dubious. My husband has been working really hard for the last two years to
advance at his company and he finally got the promotion he's been after. I'm
really really proud of him. His parents are too and wanted to take us all out to
dinner to celebrate. My husband absolutely loves prime rib and there's
only one place in our area that serves it so we picked that restaurant. Thing is, I'm not fond of steak. I'll eat
it but very rarely. I prefer chicken or fish. I looked up the menu before leaving and right
now they have a limited menu. The place had only one fish entree and two chicken entrees.
It's a fair amount. And none of them sounded good for various reasons. I suggested that
he pick someplace else so everyone can eat.
He refused, citing that we rarely get to go to this place,
but go to other places in our area regularly, which is true.
But those places have lots of variety so everyone can eat.
He suggested that I ask if they could prepare the fish
or chicken without the marinades or sauces,
but I didn't want to be difficult for the kitchen staff.
His next suggestion was that I order dessert while everyone else ate entrees, and then
when we were done, he would take me where I wanted so I could eat dinner while he and
the kids ate dessert. So I opted to just not go because I didn't want to sit there not
eating and not having a good time while everyone else was. My husband asked me to go so he
could celebrate with the people most important to him.
I told him no again and that he needed to get going before he was late.
He did go, but came back a little over an hour later with the kids and they all had
to-go boxes.
He said he couldn't think of what to tell the kids about why I didn't go when they
kept asking without lying or making me sound bad, So he just got an order for them to go
and let the kids spend some time with their grandparents
talking in the parking lot.
I told him he should have stayed.
And he said, I put him in a bad spot with the kids.
And I knew he wanted everyone there
and that I should have just gotten over my picky eating
for one night.
Yeah.
Bro.
Yeah. I'm Ooh. Yeah.
I'm so mad. I'm so mad.
This is one of those times it's quite literally not about you.
And they had two chickens, one fish.
I only eat chicken or fish.
That's a lot of alternative options.
You could have gotten there.
Are you allergic to lettuce too?
Like, there's salads at every place typically. Go there. Sit down. Shut up. Support your husband. When people get divorced and they like look back
at the track record of like what led us here, this could be one of those times. As silly as
that sounds. Like he made every effort, every accommodation to try to get you to come to celebrate his big moment
He's been working two years for. Nope, I'm gonna sit home
What?
Okay, someone else chime in. I'm so mad. What kind of sauces were on this chicken? Hold on
I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. You're a prime rib place that has a fish and two chicken options
That's that's great. God bless the prime rib place that has a fish and two chicken options. That's great.
That's a lot.
God bless the prime rib place.
That's a beautiful place.
You've done your job.
There's also, all the things you said, yes, 100%.
Yes, but if we can just get a little myopic into the restaurant industry here and some
like courtesy there.
Ironic, you did not want to be difficult for the restaurant staff, but had no problem being
the most difficult person in the world to the person you love.
That!
Also though, there's a rule of thumb.
You like don't make substitutions in a restaurant
if it's going to make the cook's lives more difficult.
If it's gonna make it easier for them, that's great.
Yeah.
Hey, no sauce on the chicken, please.
Great, one less step, less food costs.
You're paying the same amount of money for,
we don't waste the demi-glace or whatever.
Right.
You are absolutely right to do that.
So I understand being like a little bit blind
to the way that you are acting,
but when you write it all down,
That.
It becomes pretty clear.
Right?
You still hit post after writing it
and probably proofreading.
Yeah.
Like, come on.
This is really embarrassing.
Like, I'm sorry.
You're such an asshole to your family.
And like, you stood in the parking lot.
Your kids were hanging out with their grandparents in the parking lot.
I'm very, this is, I'm perturbed, guys.
This is unfair.
Also, who doesn't love prime rib?
Oh my god.
Shut up.
Love lorries I
understand I you know I've been out with some vegans the tough no hold on smile
buddy I love my vegan home but I like the ones who are cool going to
restaurants and sort of figure yeah yeah I have been out with some who will only
eat it ethically vegan restaurants. Okay, okay
And at that point it's like maybe I don't know if we're so I understand them
It's like you have your own reasons for not eating at a place
But those reasons aren't just like pickiness right like that seems like such a small thing so much about love and relationships is
I'm willing to sacrifice my comfort if but for a small moment
Yes for you and to not do that. and the kids oh and there are kids oh this
is really pretty despicable. How do you do this? Every week baby it's my brain feels a little
rotten some days. I hope man I hope you have great self-care out there. I try I try.
Go to a park. It was like those Facebook moderators that they hired who would, videos would get flagged
for obscenity and they would just have to like clockwork orange, like pry their eyes
open and watch all this stuff.
It's the same.
I feel like that's you but for like emotional nuance.
Yeah, you know, I do mix in a palette cleanser at the end sometimes because these people
out here, they're a little goofy.
A little goofy.
How many? So they're all assholes, huh?
Everyone in this story was an asshole?
Yeah.
And I think we made pretty good judgments here.
I hope so. I hope so.
What was the vote on that last one?
Um, they vote? I'm new to Reddit.
Here, you take my computer now.
Overall vote was asshole.
Yeah. So the people did the work. People have Here, you take my computer now. Overall vote was asshole. Yeah.
So the people did the work.
People have spoken you're an asshole.
The update though, this is good for them.
Ooh, you have an update?
You read it, you read the update.
Oh my gosh. So update. Some of these comments were pretty harsh, but a kick in the pants.
I've apologized profusely to my husband and I'm going to take him to that restaurant this weekend and buy him some camping gear
He's been eyeing as a start to making it up to him and changing course
People don't change it'll happen again. There you go
That's the right direction though. She's going in the right direction. That's positive. That's positive. That gives me hope. We ended on a good note everybody. They said we couldn't do it but we did it!
Rhett and Link, ever heard of them? Premiered a new show on the Rhett and Link channel last weekend
And if you haven't watched it yet, you are missing out. We are so excited for them
So go to their channel check it out and keep checking it out every Friday at 3 p.m. Pacific 6 p.m. Eastern
Alright Nicole Morgan, we've heard what you and I have to say now
It's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call
opinions are like casserole
Let's get that first zip.
I got it.
Meggie, play the first one.
No, Meggie, play it.
Hi, Captain Nicole.
Love your voicemail.
Love you guys and the show.
This is Mia calling.
I want you to help me settle a debate.
Do you think that Caesar salad, eating a Caesar salad counts as eating vegetables?
Oh, good one. Because I do not, but my boyfriend does. that eating a Caesar salad counts as eating vegetables.
Because I do not, but my boyfriend does.
I personally think that the unhealthy parts
of a Caesar salad cancel out the vegetables.
My boyfriend disagrees.
So would love to hear your thoughts, thanks.
I love it.
Morgan, you get first crack.
What do you think?
I feel like no, it's just a betta lettuce
doesn't feel like vegetables to me.
You know, it doesn't count.
Absolutely, it is a total vegetable.
1000%.
Do what you gotta do to get those veggies down.
There's no such thing as canceling out
when it comes to nutrition, right?
Everything's additive, right?
It's addition, yeah.
Yeah, you know, you've eaten some lettuce,
you've also eaten some cheese and delicious dressing
and bread whatever
But there's no canceling out. I know what he's saying though
What this ultimately comes down to is just empathy in a relationship, right and compromise because this happened to me as well
Where I was trying to make like roast carrots as our vegetable for dinner and Julie goes that's not a vegetable
And I was like, okay, that's cool. Well, eat, like, I'll make a nice, like, cucumber salad.
She's like, that's not a vegetable.
And so I eventually go like, I'd be like, hey, I'm going to need you to like list all
the vegetables that you know.
And it kind of came down to the only thing she considers a vegetable are like broccoli,
spinach and kale.
What about asparagus?
What about cauliflower?
Oh, she doesn't like asparagus.
Cauliflower is not green, not a vegetable.
I understand.
And these are my thoughts.
Oh, she's a tough critic.
And she's like, and she's great.
And she will also just eat anything.
But like what she is talking about is if I am to eat as kind of like healthy and efficaciously
as possible, I want something that is dark green, incredibly fibrous, and you can eat
a lot of without having to saturate it in some sort of dressing, right?
Okay. And so like you sort of get down to the meat
of what they're actually talking about.
I reckon if I had to guess,
I'd say your boyfriend might be the macro counting type
who somebody who's eating maybe 150, 200 grams
of protein a day like myself.
And he wants something with a lot of fiber
and not a lot of added sort of calories
or added fats or whatever. And that's reasonable. Get some Metamucil, you know what I mean?
Get some spirulina powder to get the greens in.
But so much of this stuff is like,
you're not actually talking about the thing you're talking about.
This isn't about the Caesar salad, this is about your partner's needs.
And you got to get down to the actual root of what those needs are.
And so now I can make delicious roasted carrots,
and then I know if I just put some spinach into the rice
or whatever I'm making, she's happy.
And we find compromise and it's beautiful.
That's wonderful.
We eat so much damn spinach.
We don't eat spinach in my house.
I don't buy it at all. No.
We buy kale.
Arugula and kale.
Yeah, we're a big kale family right now.
See that? I would consider kale the vegetable,
but why don't I consider just regular lettuce?
Probably because it's a light green and watery and watery and kale's like fibrous and tough.
I got a prejudice against lettuce. I guess I think we grew up with bad
Lettuce based salads. I think our generation I would agree especially when you're from Minnesota. Oh
Did you grow up eating like the Minnesota salads? Tater Tot Hot Dish, yeah.
Let's go!
I mean you said casserole and that's my middle name.
Tater Tot Hot Dish is the national salad of Minnesota.
Snickers salad.
Have you ever had a Snickers salad?
No.
Okay, deep cut.
It is technically from Minnesota.
We talked about this on a previous podcast.
Snickers salad?
It's like Snickers diced up green apples about in a 50-50 and then it's mixed with cool whip is there man
I was looking at you to answer that one. I don't know. I don't use manage
I think it's just like Snickers apples some more nuts and cool it right right no
No, I don't claim that as my state. Oh dear you forsake your birthright
Next penny um hey guys. I'm in Cincinnati. I
Am not trying to talk to you about Skyline Chili, although
I would. You guys asked for dating advice, so hear me out.
You did? Okay.
Lesbian, 27, Midwest, you know what I mean, gluten-free.
Hot.
Gluten-free Midwest lesbian.
Give me some help. I'm gluten-free and I'm trying to date in the Midwest.
Oh, tough.
Not many options. Cooking, I can do.
Not many other people like to come over.
Just give me some advice.
Thanks.
If you have thoughts, go ahead.
Don't go out to dinner all the time.
Don't go out to dinner.
You live at home.
Take it up.
Listen, listen.
You don't always have to go to dinner to go on a date.
You can go bowling. You can do axe date. You can go bowling, you can
do axe throwing, you can go on a nice hike, you can enjoy a nice cocktail, a nice smoothie.
Maybe dinner dates aren't for you right now. I can only imagine how difficult it is in
the Midwest to be gluten-free. I can only imagine how difficult it is.
Yeah. Minnesota's kind of a foodie spot.
It is? Okay.
We have so many gluten-free restaurants, actually.
Really?
Yeah.
OK, I didn't know that.
So I think you should do a little bit more research,
find your spots, and see what places can do unwiches.
What's an unwich?
What?
Teach me.
What's an unwich?
Anything that comes between buns,
you just wrap it in lettuce instead.
Protein style.
Protein style.
Our people call it protein style. That's an in and out thing. I think like Jimmy John's, you can even order it You just wrap it in lettuce instead
That's an in-and-out thing I think like Jimmy John's you can even order it as like an unwich got it and so they've got those
Everywhere everywhere my advice Cincinnati is like a major ish metropolitan area I think there's actually only about 350,000 people in since II but the point is like there's a good restaurant scene out there. I
There are a lot of cultures if we go back to the agricultural revolution that just like don't really mess with wheat that much
They don't really mess with gluten that much you go to a Thai restaurant
Rice noodles are a fantastic thing you go to an Ethiopian restaurant gotta be Ethiopian spot in Sinse
Right you're getting injera made with teff. There's so many cuisines that don't rely on gluten
That's a good point. Yeah, that you don't take things completely off the table because I've I've been to
It's going on a double date with somebody who is celiac and I had recommended
Go to a Mexican restaurant only get corn tortillas and like a good Mexican restaurant that doesn't have cross-contamination
They're using imported corn from Oaxaca
You know awesome stuff a naturally gluten-free cuisine because wheat didn't get there until the 1500s.
Sure.
Right?
Tamales date back to 10,000 BC.
I could digress.
But I recommended that, and they were like, no,
I want to go to this gluten-free restaurant.
And we got gluten-free spaghetti and meatballs,
and we got gluten-free paninis, and it sucked.
Oh, sorry.
And again, I was going out with a friend and my fiancee
and it wasn't about the food, right?
I was happy to eat that, but like,
you didn't have to shift everybody's time away
and just, you know, we could have gone somewhere
that everyone could have eaten something and enjoyed,
including you.
So I would say that.
I also went online and found 30
of the best gluten-free restaurants in Cincinnati.
I'm gonna give you a few names right now.
Cherbourg, Cyprus, the Arepa place, Bibibop.
Arepa's great gluten-free option, all cornmeal.
Crown, Cantina, Whole Bowl, Soto, Arnold's Bar and Grill,
Mita's, Alcove, Macaron Bar, Condado Tacos,
Mayes, Sacred Beast Dinner, and Brew Burger Bar.
Those are 14 places.
Go to Habesha Ethiopian Food.
You got Elephant Walk out in Coryville.
You guys are quick with it.
Twitter fingers.
And now if you're ever in Cincinnati, you know where to get Ethiopian.
Now I know.
Habesha, 4.4.
That's big.
Hi, guys.
I need to air a grievance. Oh god. I have an ongoing argument with my boyfriend. Break up with them.
He is under the impression that all mozzarella sticks taste the same. And he's obviously wrong. So I would like for you guys to discuss that.
Because I don't understand how you can taste a mozzarella stick from say Arby's or White
Castle and then compare it to a freezer section mozzarella stick or one that you could get
from Buffalo Wildlings.
I don't see how you could taste all of those side by side and say that they're all the
same.
Am I the crazy one or is he the crazy one? Let me know. Love you. how you could taste all of those side by side and say that they're all the same.
Am I the crazy one or is he the crazy one?
Let me know.
Love you.
Morgan, you had a strong reaction to this.
I think someone has some diminished taste buds
because there's clearly a difference
between different mozzarella sticks.
Especially if you get one that they put jalapenos inside.
Like there's a bunch of different flavors.
Even the bread crumb, I don't know what,
what is it, panko, you chefs?
Sometimes. It's panko, I don't know what, what are the panko you chefs? Sometimes.
It's panko, you can use regular Italian breadcrumbs.
The oil they fried in can make it taste different.
Like they're different, 100%.
If I was blindfolded and we had like 14,
like I don't know why number 14 keeps coming to my head,
but if I had like seven breadsticks,
seven mozzarella sticks in front of me,
I'm sure I could taste the difference,
but I think the margins would be so small
Yes, that I wouldn't really really
Yeah
Nicole I will guarantee you if you had 14 quote different mozzarella sticks in front of you at least four of them would in fact be
The same mozzarella stick from the same factory
Yeah, I could see that there are not that many mozzarella stick factories America, and Arby's is not making them in-house,
Buffalo Wild Wings is not making them in-house,
Culver's is not, these are all likely the same mozzarella stick.
I do agree though, I've been to restaurants where they're like making them in-house,
and they're special.
Cosa Buona, they have this smoked Camorza mozzarella stick,
it's thick, and the breading is mixed with pecorino and
So I thought they were talking about that now. We should go. What are we doing?
Wow, I think I've heard all of our stomachs are on my way
I'm gonna go null of our like this will work
But no, I think I'm more with your friend on here. And like you said like french fries can be wildly different
I guess takes a lot of cooking.
Mozzarella sticks, even as chefs, like, there's not much we can do.
No.
The size.
I think everybody uses the same kind of cheese, the same part, skin, fat, whatever.
Because otherwise, if you use a good mozzarella, it literally melts out into the fryer.
It's so wet that it'll just dissipate in the fryer.
So I think everyone's using the same cheese, the same seasonings Maybe the same same fry technique
I'm writing you make your own breadcrumbs from scratch that just ends up tasting like the bread crumbs that you you know get from the
Store or worse because they got a whole factory to make them. Yeah. Yeah, like you guys need to put this to the test though
No, we got it. Okay
Thank you. Got it. I got eight mozzarella sticks for my job
You got to start ramming lactate in.
I'm very lactose intolerant.
The same.
That's why I'm like, I haven't had a mozzarella stick in so long.
I'm hearing the sound of it.
I'm like, the stomach pain I would take for one right now.
McDonald's introduced mozzarella sticks in test markets a couple years ago, and then
they got hit with lawsuits because they were serving people what looked like mozzarella sticks and they would take a bite and there was simply no cheese inside.
What?
It like dissipated.
It dissipated because it's getting fried in a factory and then it's moving and then it's
getting shipped and like the nature of cheese, it melts, separates oils.
If there's any crack in the breading, it would just fall into the fryer.
Lul.
Yeah.
And so, you know, if you find a good mozzarella stick factory, you're probably going to be
using it in multiple spots.
Right.
Hi there, everybody at Mythical Kitchen.
My name is Courtney, and I have gathered that this is a controversial food opinion, but
I really like to eat Granny Smith apples with salt, like table salt sprinkled on it.
It's something that I grew up doing with my dad, and I've never met anyone outside of my own family
that does this.
And my boyfriend Keith thinks I'm crazy, but it's delicious.
And I think you guys should try it
or at least you should tell me that I'm not crazy
for thinking it's good.
I could see it being good actually.
I was shocked by it.
It's not something I would ever put together on my own,
but I could see it balancing out that like
tart sharpness of the apple. Right, totally. I could by it. It's not something I would ever put together on my own, but I could see it balancing out that like
tart sharpness of the apple.
Right, totally.
I could see it.
You know my old adage,
there's no such thing as salted caramel.
There's merely caramel and under-seasoned caramel.
Yes.
I believe that with everything.
I think a certain amount of salt makes everything better.
And you know, I'm a sweat doing Pilates.
I'm gonna get all the salt out.
I'm a, Pilates only once a week and I hardly sweat.
It's all the weird little micro movements in my pelvis.
But anyways, no, I kind of salt,
I salt my protein shakes in the morning.
I, this morning we had a meeting.
You salted your protein shake?
So normally I'll make a shake with like blueberries
and all the miscegas,
but we had a meeting at 9 a.m. this morning.
And so I just had to put protein powder and water
in a little shaker.
I put salt in it.
I did a little sprinkle of Maldon,
not because I wanted to use Maldon,
but because it was in the kitchen near where I was making it.
But yeah, I like salt everything,
and I'm curious what things wouldn't be better salted.
I don't know, but I grew up putting salt
on my pomegranate seeds, and I still do it,
and I love it, and it tastes delicious.
I mean, the tartness of a pomegranate a very similar to the tartness of an apple green apple
So I think this is a great opinion. I don't think you're crazy
I think you're totally fine. You may be turning people on to something
Tell your boyfriend to call us and tell us all the crazy stuff. He does man. He's probably got his own problems hurt people hurt people
On that note Morgan you are absolutely a delight.
Thank you so much.
Everybody check out the Too Hot Takes podcast.
You got anything else to plug?
No, just come on over wherever you listen to podcasts.
I'm going to start listening in abject horror, but also for your great takes and mellifluous voice.
And thank you so much for stopping by Hot Dog as a Sandwich.
We got new episodes out on audio platforms every Wednesday, new on video platforms every Sunday.
If you want to be featured on opinions or cast roles, give us a call at 833-DOG-POD-1.
The number again is 833-DOG-POD-1.
If you like seeing our faces and you want to see us do more than just sitting and talking, we cook stuff sometimes.
So we're on a channel called Mythical Kitchen.
You're probably there. Is this podcast on any video platform other than YouTube?
I don't know, is it?
I keep seeing video platforms.
It's probably just YouTube, right?
Follow us on TikTok, we got one of those.
We on Tubi?
Are we on, are we on Roku?
We actually might be.
Check out the Mythical Fast channel on Roku
where I think they may play our podcast.
Oh my God, look at you guys.
If they do, write a comment, let us know.
Cause we're gonna find out when you do.
We'll see y'all next time.
Bye.