A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Answering YOUR Questions!
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This, this, this, this is Bithycal.
On this podcast, I usually react to the wild things Josh says.
I believe all Subway sandwiches should be treated as a free public utility.
But today, we're reacting to all the wild things you say.
This is a hot dog is a sandwich.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest
food debates.
I'm your host, Josh Ayer.
And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati.
And in the way that the government provides free drinking water, Nicole, I'm saying the
government should provide all free food and that free food is Subway.
Write it up, send it to our local government and see what happens.
Okay?
I don't want to deal with it.
I'm going to write a letter to the mayor of Burbank, Jay Leno.
Does Burbank have a mayor?
I think all cities have mayors.
Can I?
Who's the mayor?
Can you Google the mayor of Burbank?
Do you know what mayor I would be the city of?
What?
Funk it down.
God dang it.
All right, so today we are diving into the voicemail bag.
We have been left so many awesome voicemails.
So many.
833-DOGPOD1, if you want to leave one.
We're just going to address all of them today.
We're going to see all the crazy things that are readers.
What's a reader with your ears?
What's that called?
A listener.
That's not right.
There's another word.
No, it's a listener.
Ear reader.
E-reader. That's what e-readers are.'s another word. No, it's a listener? Ear reader. E-reader.
That's what e-readers are.
Yeah, sure.
Well, let's jump right into it then.
It's time for a whole episode of...
Opinions are like casseroles!
All right, let's listen to our first opinion.
So, this is going to sound super basic, bitch.
You're so basic. I sound super basic, bitch. You're so basic.
I'm so basic too.
But if you take
just plain Greek yogurt,
mix it with peanut butter,
all natural
or just like craft
or what have you,
and then just put
a little bit of honey
and maybe a little bit
of cinnamon
mixed together,
dip apples in it.
No way.
Life changing.
This was brought to you by
your girl
Elise in Catholic Art, BC. Thanks for listening, guys.
Have a great day. BC? This is a Canadian yogurt
opinion. Nicole, what do you know about Canadian yogurt opinions?
Not enough, apparently, but this is a great opinion. I would do this in a
heartbeat. This is something, can I tell you what? This is something that I
make for myself darn near every day. Some version of it.
I will tell you, you take a nonfat Greek yogurt and then you add peanut butter into it, turning it into, Nicole, check this out, full fat Greek yogurt because there's a bunch of peanut butter fat in it.
But the way that peanut butter reacts to water, right, it thickens like crazy.
It like seizes the fat.
It seizes, yeah.
But that makes your Greek yogurt extra thick.
Now, I'm going to teach you one more lesson here.
Dump a bunch of Splenda in there. That's what I do.
And then it turns into like a pudding.
I don't like Splenda
or any sort of like fake sugar.
Why? Nicole, you're cheating
God. Splenda is
free calories. I'm not cheating on anybody,
especially not on God. The reason
we climbed Everest, the reason we
went to the South Pole,
Nicole, was to try and prove that man is greater than God.
And that's what we finally did when we invented Splenda.
I don't like it.
We have cheated the system.
We've broken through the simulation out of the matrix into our full selves to create Greek yogurt pudding.
It just doesn't do it for me.
I am okay with the honey like she said.
I like the idea of squiggling honey in it.
Stealing from bees?
That's messed up. Animals have rights to property. I am okay with the honey. Like she said, I like the idea of squiggling honey in it. Stealing from bees.
That's messed up.
Animals have rights to property.
No, they don't.
Bro, my cat owns my house.
That's a you problem.
My cats don't even come into my bedroom.
Are you serious?
Closed doors.
And they bang their bodies on the door to get in.
And I don't let them in because boundaries.
Do you have twisty door handles or pulley door handles? What's the difference?
Okay, well the difference is a cat
can pull down on a pulley door handle
and a cat cannot twist a twisty handle.
Oh, it's pulley down. Yeah.
But they don't do that.
My cat jumps and hangs from it like Sylvester
Stallone in Cliffhanger. That's because you have an orange
cat. Orange cats are crazy.
Redheads, am I right?
I know.
All right, next opinion.
Let's see what else is going on in your crazy mind.
I should have some yogurt.
Got me hankering for some yogurt.
First of all, that was such a sensual voicemail box.
Love it.
We are sensual people.
Yes, I am sensual.
Anyways, hi, I'm Elena.
We are sensual people.
Yes, I am sensual.
Anyways, hi, I'm Elena.
My controversial food opinion is I eat mustard on just about everything.
I eat mustard on pickles.
I will dip cucumbers, not cucumbers, carrots in the mustard.
I will dip cheese in the mustard.
I don't care what it is. I'm going to dip it in mustard.
I'm gross like that.
Shout out to gross girls.
Nicole, you need to try the new limited edition
Lay's potato chips that are flavored like Cool Ranch Doritos.
I thought you wouldn't enjoy that.
Anyways, bye.
Love you guys.
I have thoughts.
Also, we love you. We love you. Not romantically. I love we have. Anyways, bye. Love you guys. I have thoughts. Also, we love you.
I love you, too.
We love you.
Not romantically.
I love you every way.
Or as like a family member.
Or whatever way you want to be loved.
I will love you.
What's your love?
Tell Nicole your love language.
She'll love you like that.
I will.
What do you think about mustard, man?
Oh, I thought they were going to tell me.
Oh, it's not live?
This show's a sham.
What I think about mustard on everything?
Yeah.
I think that it's some sort of like comfort food for them.
Like this meal is not complete without a side of mustard.
I feel that as, okay, a lot of men get licensed.
Let's talk gender politics here.
A lot of men get licensed to turn hot sauce into their personality.
My husband has hot sauce with every single meal.
It doesn't matter where it's from, what it is, who made it.
It is a bottle of tapatio and a bottle of sriracha.
And he goes to town.
He puts it all over his food, all over his food.
I'm the same way.
I'm the same way.
I got my Arizona Gunslinger and I got my Keith Habersberger chicken sauce.
I love that stuff.
Really good.
Oh, my God.
I'll add it to salad dressings.
You know, I'll dip things in it.
Mustard is technically a hot sauce.
It is.
It is.
Right?
I agree.
Same ingredients.
If you look at a Frank's Red Hot, a Louisiana-style vinegar-based hot sauce, the ingredients are vinegar, cayenne pepper, salt.
Yep.
Ingredients in mustard are mustard, vinegar, salt.
Yep.
Right?
It's literally you're replacing the capsaicin of a chili with that.
There's like some chemical in mustard that gives it the.
I don't know what it is.
Mustard gas.
Mustard gas.
But yeah, mustard is spicy.
Mustard is spicy.
And so it's as valid of a food personality as somebody who puts hot sauce on all their things.
It's a comfort food for sure.
What are other condiments like that that people.
Mayonnaise.
Put everything.
Yeah, I'm a mayonnaise boy.
Some people love just to put a side of mayo and just use it as a dipping sauce. Ranch.
I feel guilty about the amount of mayonnaise
that I consume. I'm not gonna lie.
I've turned a corner in my life. Guilt associated with it?
Yeah. Why? I don't know, because I'm putting
it on, like, breakfast sandwiches. I'm eating mayonnaise-y
eggs. Yeah, you put a lot of mayo
on your eggs. Don't do that.
It's good. Nicole, you shouldn't
be confirming my shame here.
You should be elevating me.
Okay.
Also, wait, wait.
Do it!
The Lay's chips that are flavored like Doritos, ethically opposed to that.
We've gone too far.
Why do you feel that way?
We've gone too far because, Nicole, the seasonings are meant to match up to the chip base, right?
Nicole, they have spent millions.
What are you talking about?
These companies, Frito-Lay has done millions on focus groups. What are you talking about? These companies, Frito-Lay has spent millions on focus groups.
What are you talking about?
That's like saying Cinnamon Toast Crunch seasoning should only be on Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
It should.
No, it should be on other things too.
It makes it worse.
It could be on so many other things.
Cinnamon Toast Cheerios would be significantly worse than Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
How do you know that?
Honey Nut Toast Crunch would be worse than Honey Nut Cheerios.
No, it would be really good actually.
These things don't develop in a vacuum.
I don't care about vacuums.
I'm not talking about vacuum.
I'm talking about cereal.
I have a Dyson.
Me too.
I have a Dyson Animal.
I don't know that I want the Cool Ranch flavor on potato chips.
I feel like it's too acidic.
I feel like the corn helps carry the acid.
I don't know if I want acidic potato chips.
Flamin' Hot Lays.
You don't like acidic potato chips?
No.
You've never had limon potato chips? I've had them. I don't like them because want acidic potato chips. Flamin' Hot Lays. You don't like acidic potato chips? No. You've never had limon potato chips?
I've had them.
I don't like them because I prefer limon corn chips.
No way you don't like limon Lays.
I don't like them.
No, I think to me potato does not pair well with acid.
What dishes out there exist with potato and acid?
Potato salad.
That's hardly acid.
That's mostly mayonnaise.
There's like a little bit of pickles.
There's a little bit of mustard.
A little bit? No. I like eggs in mine. That's mostly mayonnaise. There's a little bit of pickles. There's a little bit of mustard. A little bit?
No.
I like eggs in mine.
Nice and yeller.
I want my potato salad to be half eggs.
Maybe 99% eggs.
So you want an egg salad?
Yes.
Because it's mayonnaise and eggs.
Yeah, I prefer egg salad.
Well, we're back to the beginning over here.
Back to the beginning.
Mayonnaise and eggs.
A good combo.
Next one.
God, I want egg salad so bad right now.
Ew, I'm going to vomit.
Don't talk about egg salad!
Warm.
Hey y'all, this is Chelsea out of North Carolina.
And I just would love y'all to settle debate between me and my friend.
I was making my savory pancakes, which I switch up whatever I put in it.
But I love it with cheese, spices, tomatoes.
It kind of tastes like a pizza.
Sometimes I make it with my discard from my sourdough starter.
Sourdough discard?
And regardless, everybody loves it.
But this one friend of mine was saying, even though it tastes delicious,
he said that it is not a pancake because pancakes have to be sweet.
I disagree.
I don't think pancakes need to be sweet.
A cake is a thing and a pancake is a separate thing.
So who's right?
Ooh, I thought I knew where I was going to fall on this debate.
In that pancake is a formula that exists around the world, right?
You see pajeon, right, in Korea.
You see jambing, whatever.
But those aren't pancakes.
Like we use the term pancake.
They use the term scallion pancake.
To help us define it in terms that we would understand.
A scallion pancake is significantly closer to a tortilla, a lavash.
It's an unleavened flatbread, right?
A pancake is like a liquid batter obviously cooked in a pan to me with a leavening agent.
Yeah, I agree with that statement.
Lefse, not a pancake.
A crepe, to me, I don't think that's a pancake.
That's a crepe.
It's unleavened.
I don't think it is.
What she's talking about is the Trevor-style dirty cakes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's called the Trevor Ever Dirty Cake Special.
Putting whatever you want into a pancake batter, and it's delicious.
But I'm a little bit floored on this that when we use the term pancake,
we're talking about flapjacks.
We're talking about hotcakes.
We're talking about griddle cakes.
We're talking about American diner style, something that really only exists here.
And but when you think about the actual cake batter that's being poured on the flat top,
it's in itself, it's not necessarily that sweet, right?
It's not.
There's maybe like a smidgen of sugar, but there's also, you know, baking soda, baking powder, buttermilk, whatever flavors are in there.
It's not a sweet batter.
So I understand the toppings on it define it or change it or the fillings define it or change it.
But a pancake intrinsically in itself, the batter itself,
it doesn't fall into sweet or savory category. It just is.
It's blank. It's blank.
It's blank. And you are the person who gets to write that pancake story. Not me, not Josh, no one else. It's you. You are the artist of the pancake.
We have no other term for it. I'm trying to think because if I'm trying to box pancakes
into a sweet corner, then I'm like, okay, well, what do we call what she's making right here, right?
It's still a pancake for sure.
There's no other word for it.
No, pancake is a blank slate.
It can go sweet.
It can go savory.
I know.
I was going to say I might prefer savory.
That's not true at all.
Sweet pancakes to me.
I like both.
Yeah.
Pancakes with syrup is preferable.
But if you were to put like, I don't know.
Cheddar cheese.
Poblano chilies.
Bacon bits.
Yeah.
Put a caramelized onion in there.
Acceptable.
Totally acceptable.
I want Korean pajeon right now.
Really badly.
Go get it.
Oh, man.
Go get it.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh.
next one hi josh and nicole i was just dipping my pizza rolls in marinara yeah you were and i realized that pizza rolls are basically a ravioli i don't know if this is really a hot take.
It's an interesting take.
It sure blew my mind.
And it should have blown your mind.
It sure blew my mind.
The dough is different.
How so?
Ravioli dough, pasta dough is different than pizza dough.
It's not pizza dough, though.
What is it?
So there's no leavening in a pizza roll, if you think about it, right?
It's purely flat.
It's purely unleavened.
You look at the ingredients.
Purely?
It is flour.
It is water.
There might be lecithin in there, but that doesn't actually get you anything.
A pizza roll, initially, I was like, very clearly, this is a toasted ravioli, right?
This is a pasta dough that's been cooked in a way that's not boiled.
Making a ravioli.
Do you know what it actually is, though?
A calzone.
No.
What?
It's an egg roll.
It's an egg roll.
It started as an egg roll company.
I didn't realize.
I never put it together.
Yeah, pizza roll.
It was literally, God, was it two brothers?
I don't know that.
I can't remember.
But the food company that started it, it wasn't called Totino's originally.
They started as a frozen egg roll company. I had't remember. But the food company that started it, it wasn't called Totino's originally. They started as a frozen egg roll company.
I had no idea.
And then they put pizza ingredients in their egg roll wrappers to create pizza rolls.
So pizza roll is a portmanteau of pizza pie and egg roll pizza roll.
Crazy.
That is a crazy thing.
That is crazy.
Also, I don't – pizza rolls are one of those foods that I wish tasted a lot better.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, they don't taste very good.
But I like them.
Sure.
I'll pop 50 down, no problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like bagel bites as well.
I know we've talked about that before in the show.
Both of them do-
Pretty damn good.
I don't know.
I think they leave something-
They're nasty, but they're good.
Red Baron French bread pizza.
That is where I come down.
I still have never had that before in my life.
Oh, God, it's good.
Isn't that so sad?
Oh, it'll burn you.
Why don't I have, why don't I?
Because you have to sink.
You got to sink your teeth so far into it.
And rip it?
And rip it.
But then the molten cheese burns your nose.
Oh, why?
Because you dip so hard.
Because you got to go so hard.
Dip your face.
Your nose getting in there. Josh is really dedicated. to go so hard while your nose is getting in there.
Josh is really dedicated.
I got dirty in there.
I bury myself in there.
Josh really gets intense with his French bread pizza.
Oh, you got no idea.
Invest it.
Steamy.
Make that French bread pizza your wife.
Next opinion.
Hello.
My name is Mike.
Hi, Mike.
I am extremely allergic to peanut butter.
And I have a very visceral reaction when I eat it.
And I can't taste it at all.
So can you explain to me in very detailed words what it tastes like?
Yeah.
Most people just say it tastes like peanuts and it is not helpful at all.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
This is so tough.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm going to have to go deep into this.
I have to go back to my eighth grade creative writing class to think of words to describe peanut butter.
What a good thought exercise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is good.
Okay.
It's good for us.
Mike, I'm assuming you don't have a tree nut allergy.
I'm assuming you are coming from this from some some frame of reference. You've had maybe an
almond, a pecan, peanuts, butter. Yes. Sun butter. Yeah. Peanuts are not nuts technically. Right.
They are legumes. Sure. OK. And so if you kind of to me legumes, I guess lentils are technically
pulses or whatever, but like chickpeas. I think to me a peanut is the perfect cross between an almond and a chickpea.
Call me crazy.
I don't know.
If you cream together, if you ground together, whipped it up, almonds and chickpeas, I think you get somewhere closer to where peanuts are.
So peanuts have a much earthier, more bacterial taste than something like an almond.
Almonds to me- Bacterial. Now, can you expand on what bacterial means to you?
Bacterial, I tend to refer to alongside things like brassicas, which are like broccoli,
cauliflower. You can taste a kind of fartiness to them, which is a very-
Do you think peanuts are farty?
Vegetal quality. I think peanuts have a fartier, more vegetal, bacterial quality than something like an almond.
A roasted one or a raw one?
Because that changes things.
It can be either or to me.
I guess roasted has like a deeper, toastier flavor that kind of counters some of that.
But to me, if you think of an almond as like clean, bright, buttery, fatty, a little bit almost having that astringent like arsenic quality to it.
There's a sort of bitterness to almonds that's really delightful.
Peanuts take that and then they merge that with like the fattier, more vegetal flavors of something like a chickpea.
OK, I see what you're saying, because when we have snacks out like Persian people, they don't like pizza rolls and Oreos, right?
They put out like fruits and nuts that have been dried.
So we actually.
Crazy.
I know.
Like normal, like food.
Eating things that like grow from the ground.
Yeah.
Crazy, right?
Wild.
So we actually have, we like, back in the day, like my mom used to put out chickpeas that were dried.
Yes.
And were eaten like peanuts.
And it's very similar how the flavors, now that you mention it, are incredibly similar.
That's what I'm saying.
I will say the textures are different.
Chickpea has a dryness.
I think peanuts have a little bit of softness and butteriness with it.
Chickpeas take the fat of a peanut and replace that with starch.
Yeah, sure. That's the difference on that. That's the dryness that you're getting. Youpeas take the fat of a peanut and replace that with starch. Yeah, sure.
That's the difference on that.
That's the dryness that you're getting
because you're not having the fat lubricating.
I say the most similar nut butter comparison
is for sure sunflower seed butter to peanut butter.
Imagine sunflower seed butter,
less bitter, more fatty and saltier,
but without this.
It's like not the roasty flavor.
This is such a hard thing.
It's like trying to describe the color blue to a person who's been blind from birth.
Or like what air is.
Yeah.
I don't know what air is.
You know what we need?
We need a dang European.
You know why?
Because they don't like peanut butter as much as we do.
So they'll have more of an opinion quality or something.
Correct.
They can analyze it from a neutral place, right?
Because most people in Europe didn't grow up with peanut butter.
Americans are the exact opposite where we fiend for it because it's something that has been an assumption our whole lives.
You're eating peanut butter and jelly.
You're having peanut butter flavored desserts, all that stuff.
I've had Europeans be like, this is dog food.
Really?
Yeah.
That's crazy to me.
It's gross.
The texture is disgusting.
And meanwhile, I'm over here sucking down spoonfuls of it.
Yeah, I love peanut butter.
Boy, do I love peanut butter.
I like almond butter more than peanut butter at this stage of my life, though.
I got the worst product recently.
Shout out to Trader Joe's for making the worst nut butter I've ever had.
What was it?
It's just called like mixed nut butter.
Oh, I hate mixed nut butters.
I hate that crap.
Yeah, leave it to one nut.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Give me one nut.
Actually, hybrid almond peanut to me I enjoy.
Ugh, gross.
But it was like Brazil nuts, pecans, walnuts, all that.
And like it just is bad, dude.
It is, oof.
That's dog food.
Have you ever heard of like granola, like granola butter?
That's, no.
I've never had it before.
I feel like I would love it.
Would I love it? Well, cookie butter changed
the game on all of us. Okay, is it like cookie butter? It's cookie
butter but granola. And granola, the way
that we eat it, it's basically a cookie already.
It's just sugar. I love cookie butter.
But no,
cookie butter is bizarre because they took cookies
threw it in a blender with oil
and now it's just like a product.
It's so strange that that exists and good for them for figuring it out.
I could eat a whole jar of Speculoos cookie butter.
God.
Biscoff.
Next up.
This is Tyler from Kansas City.
Hi, Tyler.
I wanted to ask if pescatarianism is even worth it.
I know a lot of fast food places
don't necessarily have a lot of seafood items.
You know, the filet-o-fish is great and all.
But just, it's expensive, you know.
I just wanted to ask if pescatarianism
is even worth the hype.
Is pescatarianism hype these days?
I mean, it's an alternative to eating red meat and stuff and white meat.
What's pescatarians where you believe that Jesus and the Holy Spirit?
That's Episcopalianism.
Is that the one with the fish on the back of the car?
No, that's a whole other thing.
I don't know what it is.
Jesus.
We're all Jews.
I'm looking at Maggie like she would know.
Sorry. The fish is a metaphor, I think. Four. We're all Jews. I'm looking at Maggie like she would know. Sorry.
The fish is a metaphor, I think.
Four.
Teach a man to fish.
But also the lamb.
Teach a man to fit.
If you give a mouse a cookie.
Teach a man to fish.
No, give a man a fish he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime.
Yeah, yeah.
The Jewish version of that.
Let's not stoke the flames of anti-Semitismism here but this is a joke told to me by jewish
relatives um well we'll go into the jesus fish real quick but uh uh give a man a fish he knows
where to come to buy fish teach a man to fish you just lost a customer and i really like that yeah
you know give a man a fish he knows where to buy fish you got good fish you get a fish and you
don't teach a man a fish that's your where to buy fish. You got good fish. You got a fish and you don't teach a man a fish. That's your proprietary business knowledge.
Oh, God.
So what is this Jesus fish symbol?
The ichthys symbol.
Icthys symbol.
Scientifically used to proclaim an affiliation with Christianity.
Fish was adopted by early Christians as a secret symbol.
And now it's on everyone's car.
Okay, now we got a holy Eucharist.
So there's a lot of lore in Christianity.
And we are the catacombs of St. Sebastian.
There ain't a lot of catacombs in Judaism, I don't believe.
What's a catacomb?
I feel like the catacombs are things that are buried.
Like mausoleum?
Yeah, something like that.
A catacomb is like a mausoleum.
Pescatarianism, let's talk about it.
Okay, does that include shellfish?
Yes, pescatarianism typically includes shellfish, mollusks.
I don't know about sea mammals.
Like, I don't know if you're allowed to eat dolphins.
Shut up.
Okay.
In my opinion, I think you should try it for a month.
If you are passionate and you want to see if it will benefit your health or your digestion or your overall well-being, try it for a month.
See how you feel.
And if it's just too much and it's too much effort and it's too expensive, just drop it.
Just give it a good old-fashioned try.
Yeah, it depends on what your goals are, right?
If your goals are to feel healthier, get your cholesterol down,
if your goals are to feel better environmentally, to feel better ethically,
because oysters have less of a central
nervous system than like a pig, then that's one thing.
If that's going to benefit your life, feeling like you have that ethical style of eating
and whatnot, then do it.
It is going to be harder to eat.
It is going to be more expensive to eat.
You might end up eating a whole lot of canned tuna and, you know, farm-raised tilapia and
stuff like that to try and get protein in, whatever.
It all depends on what your goals are.
But like Nicole said, I don't know.
I've messed around with a lot of diets before, like for a month period to see how they make me feel.
Done keto for a month, done intermittent fasting for a month, done vegan for a couple months.
I've never done intermittent fasting before.
It's like it all depends how long you fast.
Some people are like, I fast for eight hours. It's like sometimes you just forget to eat and fast. Some people are like, I fast for eight hours. It's like, sometimes you just
forget to eat and you're at work and you don't eat for
eight hours. I can't believe people forget to eat.
I know, I mean, that's something that I... Those people scare the crap
out of me. It's like you forget
like a bodily function. It's like saying
you forget to pee or poop.
Nicole, you hold your pee longer than
anyone I've ever known. Okay, that's a...
Okay, I hold it, but I still do it.
You say you actively enjoy holding your pee,
which is like a strange thing for me.
That's not true.
Why are you taking everything out of context?
I say I need to complete a task and then I can go.
Yeah, you reward yourself with peeing.
That's even weirder.
That like pee is your, like me, I'll be like,
I'm gonna go eat a Milano cookie
after I finish this thing.
That's a nice reward.
Yours is like, I get to release my urine.
It's strange. It's a weird reward system. Hey,. That's a nice reward. Yours is like, I get to release my urine. It's strange.
It's a weird reward system.
Hey, if there's any, like, what are the brain doctors called?
Psychologists?
Podiatrists.
If there's any psychiatrists that can leave a voicemail and tell me what the hell is wrong with me, that would be awesome.
Blanket call to any psychiatrist.
Tell us what's wrong with us.
Leave a voicemail.
It's 833-GOD-5-1.
Josh needs to go into deep breath.
I like attention, too.
Hold on.
Nicole, I want attention.
Things are more wrong with me than you.
I know.
This is one thing that's my problem.
We have, like, 18 problems.
Okay, yeah.
Leave a separate voicemail to figure out why Nicole holds a pee for so long.
And then leave a couple for me, just, you know, diagnosing whatever you want to.
There's a lot.
There's a lot.
All right. Next up. Hi. couple for me just you know diagnosing whatever you want to there's a lot there's a lot all right next up hi this is jim from ontario canada so many controversial thing being a canadian
i'm just gonna put this out there oh maple syrup is overrated huh boom probably should have my
citizenship revoked but there it is thanks bye Come down as a political refugee to California.
My fellow Americans, there is nothing like good old-fashioned Canadian maple syrup.
I love it.
I don't know what this jabroni is talking about.
You buy from Vermont, Nicole.
You support American maple syrup in this household.
I love maple syrup from everywhere.
I love maple syrup, but I will say it is overrated because people think that it's the only flavor that should be in syrup.
It has somehow dominated the flavored syrup market in breakfast, and there is a whole world of other syrups out there.
Okay, what other syrups come from tree?
None?
I believe that's it.
Blue raspberry from the blue raspberry tree.
If it comes from a tree, not, but most.
But there's a market for it.
No, most maple syrup. Listen, we're talking real maple syrup that's coming from a tree, not, but most. But there's a market for it. No, most maple syrup.
Listen, we're talking real maple syrup.
That's coming from a tree.
You're getting a log cabin maple syrup.
That's coming from boiled down.
That's from corn.
And then that is maple flavoring.
I'm saying you could take that formula, that corn syrupy formula to put on breakfast, pancakes, on waffles, on French toast.
And you could use any flavoring you want.
Maple ain't the only way to go.
But it's the best one.
No, no, no, no.
Best one.
Boom.
IHOP Butter Pecan Syrup.
You love that stuff.
Now, that is hot fire flames.
You love that stuff.
So, wait.
Can you explain to me what – so, it's regular maple syrup, butter pecan, strawberry,
boysenberry – blueberry?
It's, I believe, boysenberry.
Is it boysenberry? I think so. Gosh, it's been too long since i've sat down i've never gone do you know what david and his fantasy team
do to the loser uh no do you have to sit 24 hours in an ihop and for and they are allowed to um
they can only leave when they finish a stack of 24 pancakes or something. Oh, they. Like each pancake is like an hour off.
An hour off of their time.
Yeah.
So they go to IHOP once a year as a group of friends.
I love that.
I love that.
Do you know what the loser of my fantasy league has to do?
What?
The next year's draft.
We haven't enforced it in a while, but some lovely woman left a tube top at our college
apartment back, this must be now 11 years ago.
Tube top?
It was like a halter top.
That had like cups in it?
Maybe.
I don't know.
It's like a leopard print.
It's very scratchy
because we haven't washed it
in 11 years.
Okay.
Oh my God.
And the loser has to draft
wearing that.
I think somebody's
going to get scabies.
You have to wear it?
Yeah.
On your body?
Yeah.
It belongs to a random lady
that's never bought. 11 years ago.
11 years ago. She's forfeited
her rights to it. We didn't steal it.
It was left. So what do they wear and what do they do?
They wear it for the day? They just wear it for the day.
We're all hanging out. You point at them and laugh.
You go, ah!
You gotta wear the gross shirt.
No one's washed it?
No, you don't wash it at this point i see it's
like wearing a shirt talking about maple syrup yeah i love it um i like it yeah i'm a fan it's
pretty freaking good next opinion please maggie hi i'm'm Cohen from Utah, and I love your podcast.
Thank you.
I shared it with my mom, and we listened to the Is Mayonnaise and Aoi the Same Thing episode,
and she got really mad at you, Josh, for saying that they were.
Whoa.
What do you think?
Could you reconsider that episode?
Josh is going in a timeout corner.
No, tell your mom to come say that to my face.
She shouldn't be going through you for this opinion.
You are stuck in the middle of this as an innocent victim,
and now I'm about to shoot the messenger.
No, aioli and mayonnaise are the same thing functionally.
If you're looking at the ancient Catalonian recipe,
if you're going all the way back to the ancient Roman version of it, of course, no.
Yeah.
That type of aioli is not going to be the same as mayonnaise.
But functionally speaking, 99% of the quote-unquote aiolis that are eaten today are the same as mayonnaise.
They're an emulsification of egg, oil, probably a garlic flavoring in there as well.
And so you either have to change the name of 99.9% of the aiolis eaten.
Yeah.
And eat the fact that it has to be pounded in a mortar and pestle.
Yeah.
With just garlic being forcibly emulsified into the oil.
And for what?
To what end?
To protect Catalonian culture?
Yeah.
The Spanish government won't even do that.
Yeah.
Getting political.
Yeah.
Ta-da!
Come on, mom. Thanks for listening with your that. Yeah. Getting political. Yeah. Ta-da! Come on, Mom.
Thanks for listening with your mom.
Show her more episodes.
Get her mad at me sometime.
Get her mad at Josh.
Get her mad at Maggie.
Just do it.
Just get her angry.
The whole business model is based off of rage.
So this is actually what it's designed to do.
And thank you for the opinion.
Oh, look.
The same people left another one 10 minutes later.
Let's listen.
Hi, guys.
I'm Cohen.
And I'm Riley.
And we're from Utah.
And our opinion is that Superman ice cream is better with chocolate syrup.
Thank you.
Ah!
I love kids.
I love kids, too.
Those were children.
Those were children.
Definitely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Superman ice cream is better with chocolate syrup.
Do you agree? What's Superman ice cream is better with chocolate syrup. Do you agree?
What's Superman ice cream?
What are we talking about?
You don't know what the gumballs.
Oh, we're talking about.
Wait, hold on.
Well, I grew up eating Spider-Man ice cream.
No, Superman.
They got Superman ice cream?
Yeah.
No, hold on.
Superman ice cream is a.
Oh, I don't know.
I've never had Superman ice cream.
Oh, then I've never had.
Oh my gosh.
So it's not the ice cream with the gumballs.
It is. It includes blue moon, cherry, and vanilla ice cream. Oh, then I've never had. Oh my gosh. So it's not the ice cream with the gumballs. It is.
It includes Blue Moon cherry and vanilla ice cream.
No way.
It's a Midwest version of Neapolitan.
What's Blue Moon?
I have never heard of Superman ice cream.
Isn't that a beer?
Blue Moon is a beer from Colorado.
It's perfectly fine.
But it's not.
The ice cream isn't Blue Moon.
No, I don't believe the children are eating beer flavored ice cream and chocolate syrup.
It has Pop Rocks in it? Oh no. Maggie, Google Blue the ice cream isn't blue. No, I don't believe the children are eating beer flavored ice cream and chocolate syrup. It has Pop Rocks in it?
Oh, no.
Maggie, Google Blue Moon ice cream because I don't know what that is.
I believe Jenny's from Ohio makes a Blue Moon flavor.
No way.
Wow.
What is the flavor of Blue Moon ice cream?
Castoreum.
Yeah, it's just like extract.
Okay, so cherry ice cream, blue ice cream.
Vanilla ice cream.
And then is chocolate the other flavor of Superman?
It's vanilla.
It's vanilla, okay.
Vanilla, blue, and cherry with chocolate syrup on it.
Hmm, sounds good.
Sounds good.
I want to eat it.
I will say I do not opt for chocolate syrup as an ice cream topping almost ever.
Do you know what mine is?
What?
Marshmallow. Oof, girl. not opt for chocolate syrup as an ice cream topping almost ever do you know what mine is what marshmallow oh girl like the soft not the marshmallow fluff not marshmallows but the squiggly marshmallow almost like condensed milk yo check this idea out check it check it check it
you know how they got hot fudge yeah what if hot white fudge because then here's the thing i don't
love chocolate flavor with my ice cream but i love the texture of hot fudge. Because then, here's the thing. I don't love chocolate flavor with my ice cream, but I love the texture of hot fudge.
Okay.
I want hot white fudge.
Okay, hot white fudge.
And that's not just my nickname.
I was going to say, all right, hot white fudge.
You can get hot white fudge whenever you'd like.
So, like, wedges of hot fudge?
What?
Like fudge.
Have you ever had a hot fudge sundae?
Oh, hot fudge.
It's not a wedge.
It's a liquid.
It's hot.
It's hot, but then it gets in the ice cream and it's slightly congealed i understand it to a beautiful oh i get
it coagulative mouthfeel nom nom nom all right next up hi this is kelsey from detroit i love
listening to your podcast and hearing all of your hot food taste det Thank you. Detroit Rock City. And now you can listen to one of mine.
Mac and cheese and applesauce
go very well together.
Nicole's gonna puke.
Mix them together.
Don't just have it
on the same plate.
You gotta mix them together.
Eat them in the same spoonful.
Oh boy.
I know what you're thinking.
Ew, that sounds disgusting.
It does.
But let me ask you this.
What?
Would you fault somebody
for putting apples and cheese on a charcuterie board together?
You wouldn't.
Because the flavors complement each other.
Let me.
Try it.
Thank me later.
Let me pose another hypothetical to you.
Would you fault somebody for taking the apples and cheese on a charcuterie board and putting
it in a blender and drinking it with a straw?
Because that's what you're doing.
And heating it up.
That's what you're doing.
And heating it up.
You're putting it in a Vitamix and you're heating it up on full tilt setting right here.
This is a heady combination.
I don't like this.
I don't even like the combination of apples and cheese.
I've never quite understood it.
I like it.
It's okay.
It does not suit my palate.
The closest equivalent I have had has been a spiced applesauce on an egg noodle kugel.
Okay.
Which, if you're just adding cheese into that equation,
I think you're maybe making it a lot worse.
I would like to try this, though.
I would like to try this.
I like my mac and cheese the way it is,
and I'm not adding applesauce.
I'm not adding blueberries.
I'm not adding, what is it, the pecan, butter pecan syrup. I'm not doing none of that.
This is obscene.
I add ketchup to mine, but here's the thing.
I don't stir it in. Ketchup is different. She's saying that she
stirs in the applesauce. What? I don't know
what to tell you. If you put a dollop on top
of cold applesauce, hot bite of mac and cheese, I can
get that. You stir it in. You're
heating the apples. That's like people that put french fries
like put the ketchup all over their french fries.
Okay, a good virtue
of mac and cheese is a silken
sauce, right? Silken sauce.
Silken sauce. You know what is not silken
is applesauce. Applesauce. It's mealy.
It's mealy. Now you're making a mealy
mac? I would love a little cup of applesauce.
I feel like it would make my tummy
just relax. I love it. I slurp
down applesauce all the time. I love that.
I've never been an applesauce kid. My mom didn't give me applesauce as a kid. Really? Oh my god. I remember once I just I slurp down applesauce all the time. I love that. I've never been an applesauce kid.
My mom didn't give me applesauce as a kid.
Really?
Oh, my God.
I remember once I just drank a quart of applesauce just sitting there watching cartoons.
A quart of applesauce.
I was a big kid.
I was like a Paul Bunyan style child.
He gave me a lot of mashed taters and mashed avocados.
Explains a lot.
Still love both of those.
I don't think I had an avocado until I was like 14.
Really?
No.
What the hell is this?
I was a both of those. I don't think I had an avocado until I was like 14. Really? No. I was a bougie child.
I had the Taco Bell guacamole, but that's – I don't know if there's legally avocado in there.
I don't think there's any avocado in it.
Wild opinion.
Unnerving.
Unnerving.
So what do we come to?
You like it?
You're going to try it?
What are you going to do?
I'm going to try it.
But I do find that objectively horrifying.
And I know I'm normally the one with a very open mind on all these things.
Yeah.
But to me, if you are asking yourself what the good qualities of a food are and then you are negating one of those proprietary qualities by adding another thing in there, I think you've done a bad.
I think you've done a moral bad.
I think you should be cosmically punished, right?
Cosmically?
I mean Zeus, lightning bolt.
Like it should happen.
Zeus, lightning bolt, should happen Zeus lightning bolt
Lightning bolt
Like a pox upon your family
Type stuff
Lightning bolt
Lightning bolt
Lightning bolt
Okay last one
Is this our last one Maggie?
Let's do a couple more
Let's do two more
Two more
Hey guys
This is Bradley
From Mobile, Alabama
Hi
And I just wanted to
Give you a hot take
About a southern food That I just really, really enjoy.
Let's go.
And I feel like maybe some guys out on the west coast there may not be into quite yet, but it's fried gizzards.
Yes, sir.
I think chicken gizzards are awesome.
Yes, sir.
Before you say it, yes, I know sometimes they can be a little chewy, but I had a nice little Southern Belle lady tell me one time at church.
She said, honey, if you'll boil them first, pat them out real dry, then fry them.
They ain't near as tough.
And I tried it.
Sure enough, they're not near as tough then.
I'm sure Josh or Nicole, you could tell me why that is.
But I love fried chicken gizzards.
They're awesome.
Love you guys.
Love your podcast.
Appreciate you. Awesome. love your podcast appreciate you
awesome bye i appreciate you bradley what a great opinion i have never had southern fried
chicken gizzards i have had a lot of chicken gizzards i've had a lot of chicken gizzard
what is a gizzard can you tell the people what a gizzard is hold on maggie can you google this
but also i'm going to give my best guess i believe a gizzard is an organ that a bird has because they are called
not lithophage, something that means eating rocks. But I believe the gizzard is where they
eat a stone and then food goes into the gizzard and it actually grinds the food with the stone
inside the gizzard. Is that correct? Made of muscular walls, it gives basically the stomach,
has gritty sand like particles that the chicken ingests as they pack to help grind the food.
Boom. Let's go.
Cool.
Okay.
So this, so whenever people say chicken gizzards, that doesn't include things like the liver.
No, you're thinking of giblets.
Oh, I'm thinking of giblets.
Giblets are all the entrails, all the viscera, the organs.
Okay.
And that's something that people fry up too?
People tend to make giblets into gravy.
Okay.
I made stock with giblets.
It was really nice to get that liver in there.
But gizzards have
a really interesting texture.
That's why he's talking
about them being tough.
So I've mostly eaten
a lot of Korean gizzards.
I ate a bunch of gizzards
in Israel,
just grilled up with srug
and it was great.
I've had that too, yeah.
But they have this interesting,
very crunchy,
very toothsome texture to it.
It's enjoyable.
It's kind of like cartilage.
It's kind of like cartilage.
It's delicious.
It's really enjoyable.
If you boil it,
you're going to be breaking down
all those proteins, right?
If you cook something
for long enough,
pressure cook it especially,
it's just going to become
more tender.
Gizzard's no exception.
Chicken fried gizzard
sound really, really great
because you're getting
that interesting texture
from the gizzard's
lovely flavor.
Southern fried anything
is delicious.
Ooh, southern fried
chicken livers?
Bro, get out of here.
Oh, don't get me started.
Chicken livers
fried with buttermilk
with some hot sauce.
Ooh!
One of my favorite
things to eat.
I'll tell you what,
maybe my favorite organ
to eat is the kidney, though.
I'm a huge kidney fan.
I don't eat much kidney.
Honestly.
They have a meatier texture than liver.
Liver is great for its own qualities, right?
It's kind of got that softness, that sumptuousness, deep, blood-rich iron flavor that I happen to really enjoy.
Kidneys, to me, take some of that flavor, but then you have a bit more of that muscular protein chew to it.
Yeah.
I've had some really, really incredible, like, I mean, steak and kidney pie.
Yeah, sure.
Well, yeah, I've had that too.
I've had a rognon de veau, lamb kidneys.
Oh, yeah.
Or no, de veau.
No, rognon d'agneau, lamb kidneys when I was in Provence.
Really awesome stuff, dude.
I've never had kidney.
I like thymus gland.
Thymus, sweetbreads.
I like sweetbreads.
That's a good organ.
What are other organs?
Chicken hearts are awesome.
I took a few friends to Feng Mao, which is a Chinese barbecue skewer place.
And I got chicken hearts.
And I had a bunch, but it wasn't like the favorite of the table.
Peruvian anticuchos.
Oh, I love stuff.
Fantastic, dude.
Eat more organ meats.
Eat more organ meats.
Including gizzards. Southern fry them. Yeah, yeah, dude. Eat more organ meats. Eat more organ meats. Including gizzards.
Southern fry them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boil them first.
Serve it with an Alabama white barbecue sauce.
They got to bring over a gizzard food truck.
Yeah.
A chicken fried gizzard food truck.
We should just open an organ truck.
I don't have to.
Josh, do you know how many things I want to do, but I don't have time?
It's a conversation for tomorrow.
Where's the time?
Are you George Costanza?
Where's the time?
I've never seen an episode of Seinfeld, so I don't know.
What?
I just missed that.
I missed the bus, and I thought it was too late to get back on.
I didn't want to run after the bus.
I was just like, I've missed this bus.
Just turn on the CW and watch it, you freak.
Is that who has the rights to the real?
Everybody has rights to Seinfeld.
Just turn on the frickin' TV and watch it.
I didn't see Curb Your Enthusiasm until like a couple months ago.
I finally watched it.
I had lied to people that I had watched Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I was like, wow, that Larry David's so neurotic.
I can't believe you lied about watching Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I watched the Palestinian Chicken episode because for people who know the Palestinian chicken episode, it's based off of Zankou chicken, a local chain in LA.
And it is shot in Westwood and sun in Lebanese cuisine on Westwood.
That's so funny.
I love that episode.
Great episode. to somebody left me a shout out to the person who DM me on Instagram to say, hey, I'm from
Finland, but I'm so glad I know about the Burbank restaurant scene in case I ever visit
from listening to your podcast.
And so you are welcome, Finnish listener, for all of our Burbank restaurant references.
That is so funny.
We got to stop talking about Burbank.
They're going to land in the Burbank airport and immediately go from Helsinki right to
Zanku Chicken and be like, oh, it's
a perfectly fine roast chicken.
Get the garlic sauce.
One more.
One more.
One more for the road, Maggie.
We're doing one more.
We're in this for the long haul, dang it.
This is fun.
One more.
This is the most fun part of our day.
Don't make me go do other things.
Wow.
Hey, Josh and Nicole.
This is Taylor calling from Billings, Montana.
Oh, cool. i love the show i was just calling to let you know about this i personally think appalling thing that my dad does my dad's
kind of a quirky guy and he likes to cut calories he's not like kind of weird ways and i would say
he cuts calories so that way he can have his calories in the form of craft beer instead.
Heck yeah.
Matters to that.
One of the ways he cuts calories is that when he's cooking ground beef, like say for like meat sauce for spaghetti or for tacos or something like that, he takes the ground beef, puts it in a strainer and runs cold water over it to wash off all the grease and fat.
No, it does not.
No, it does not.
I personally find this, I mean, just appalling.
And I would just like somebody else to publicly shame him for doing this.
Thanks so much, guys.
Bye.
Nicole, are you going to publicly shame Taylor's quirky craft beer drink and Cali Cut and Dad?
Let me tell you something.
I saw a TikTok of a young lady doing this.
I remember that.
And she got freaking flayed by the internet.
Yeah, skinned her alive.
Skinned her alive.
Skinned her alive.
She was literally.
Lambasted.
She was abused on the internet.
Lambasted.
Because she just ran her taco meat underwater.
And let me tell you, people will do crazy things to be skinny.
I get it.
I understand.
Some people go on the tilapicus diet.
What the hell is a tilapicus diet?
You eat tilapia and asparagus.
Oh my God, I've heard of that.
Oh, I haven't heard that name tilapicus in years.
It sounds like a demon from the Old Testament.
You turn into a demon when you eat it enough times.
You do stupid things to lose weight.
I don't think this is the dumbest thing.
People do dumber things than this.
It is dumb.
I don't like it.
I don't ever want to do it myself.
But, you know, if your dad wants to enjoy three or four craft beers
after his washed taco salad, let the man live!
This is not dumb at all.
This is really smart.
Let me tell you why.
Nicole, how much does 93.7, that's 93% lean, 7% fat, ground beef cost at the store?
More than 80-20.
Significantly more.
And significantly more than the difference in, so say 80% lean versus 93% lean is 13% less lean protein per fat total weight, right?
I'm sure.
It costs like 200% more.
By taking, say, 80-20 or 73-27 beef and cooking it, draining the fat, rinsing it,
you are literally creating 93-7 lean beef.
Am I talking like crazy numerology here or is this trackable?
Maggie, are you tracking on this?
You are Jim Carrey in the number 23.
Is that the movie?
The number 23?
I don't know.
But what I'm saying, you are literally just artificially creating a cheaper way to get to buying a leaner ground beef, which is perfectly reasonable.
I made a bolognese the other day with a 93% lean ground beef.
I stole it from work.
We had it for some reason.
Oh, I think it's because it's easier to food style burgers with really lean ground beef because you get less loss on it. But anyways, I made a super,
super lean bolognese and, you know, it was really great. I cut it with some miso, you know,
add some fish sauce in there and bump up the flavor. And it was really good. So calorie cutting
or not, this is a really good way to artificially create a leaner beef. And your dad is smart. And my man, drink some double session dry hopped IPAs for me out there because it sounds like you're living, brother.
On that note, thank you for listening to this special Opinions Are Like Casseroles only episode of A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
And this is our last episode of 2022, but we'll be back on January 11th with even more hot food takes out here.
In the meantime, if you want to scroll back into the archives, see what episodes you missed.
Nicole, you got any favorites out there?
So all of them.
I love every single podcast I do with you.
That's a cop-out answer.
I love most, what is the flavor of Dr. Pepper?
That was my favorite one.
Like of all time, my favorite of all time.
What's your favorite pasta shape?
That's my favorite of all time.
Oh, you do love pasta shapes.
Yeah.
But for real, yeah.
Thank you all so much for listening this year.
It's been incredible.
The Hot Dogs, the Sandwich series.
I'm really proud of the work that we did.
We did great.
I never want to talk about the question ever again.
Ever again.
But the fact that you all stuck by us throughout this whole year, it's really incredible.
And we love what we do.
And we love hearing from you in the voicemail.
So keep calling.
We love you, Hot Doggers.
Thank you for your time, your energy, and your wonderful voices. Everyone sounds just so beautiful in the voicemail. So keep calling. We love you, hot doggers. Thank you for your time, your energy, and your wonderful voices.
Everyone sounds just so beautiful in the voicemails.
Don't you agree?
No one sounds more beautiful than us in that voicemail, though.
I'll tell you what,
we really hit the sensuality hard on that.
And on that note,
if you want to be featured on Opinions or Let Casseroles,
you can hit us up on Twitter
at MythicalChef or nhandizotto
with the hashtag Opin hashtag opinion casserole.
Or if you want to leave us a voicemail, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1.
And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube.
We launch new videos every week.
We'll see you next year.
Happy New Year, cuties.
Love you. Bye. Mwah, mwah, New Year, cuties. Love you.
Bye.
Bye.