A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Breakfast Tacos vs. Breakfast Burritos - Live at Mythicon
Episode Date: November 9, 2022LIVE FROM MYTHICON, Josh and Nicole talk about the big breakfast debate: breakfast tacos or breakfast burritos? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 To learn more about listener data and our priva...cy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This, this, this, this is Mythical.
How we doing today, Austin, Texas?
Woo!
Speaking of Austin, Nicole, did you know that we have been lied to our entire lives and the breakfast taco was not invented in Austin, Texas?
Well, that's bold of you to say, considering we're inside Austin, Texas.
This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich, live from Mythicon!
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
What?
All right, enough chit-chat.
We got to get down to business here here because we have a very serious topic.
We are talking about breakfast burritos
versus breakfast tacos.
I know what you're saying.
You didn't think we'd get political up here.
But we're doing it, baby.
It's happening.
No, and the reason I want to talk about this,
we are in Austin, Texas.
A lot of people associate Austin with breakfast tacos.
Exactly. No, totally.
Reasonably, but, but, but, there is a, I was going to say famous incident, but I realized that the things
that are famous to me are famous to exactly zero people out there. Yes. I'm calling this a famous
incident. Someone for eater.com wrote an article about how the breakfast taco was invented in
Austin. Then the city of San Antoniotonio the city itself issued issued a uh
there was a petition that was signed by over 2 000 people to quote exile the author of the article
out of the state of texas this actually happened uh freaky deaky man because san antonio claims
to have invented it and so that's that's strike one. Unclear origins. Breakfast
burritos, however. Strike one against what? Breakfast tacos.
I am in favor of breakfast burritos.
That is where I come down. Thank you!
Right side of history. Well, what if
I told you that's such an odd
coincidence? Because I freaking love breakfast
tacos! I know you do. Breakfast burritos?
I know, I know. Okay.
We'll get more into it, but breakfast tacos?
All I got... That's all I got to say. Okay. Keep
going. What was that? You know what this means? This is the Italian hand gesture for taco.
What's your next strike? Okay. So my next strike against breakfast tacos is that I believe food
is incredibly personal, incredibly regional. And I think you should root for the food from your home state.
And so I am saying that the breakfast burrito,
which I believe to be invented in Pasadena, California,
does history actually verify this fact?
Not at all.
Probably not.
Was it probably in New Mexico sometime in the 1960s?
Yes.
However, I believe Lucky Boy in Pasadena, which was a part of my childhood.
Which is delicious, by the way. Lucky Boy breakfast burritos are the business.
Oh my God. So good. We used to drive up to UCLA games in Pasadena at the Rose Bowl. I'm eight
years old. I'm there. You hear the roar of the fans. You believe in something greater than
yourself. That is both the power of sports and food. And then afterwards, after we saw the
Bruins just get wiped out by some better football team, because they kind of sucked back then, but we'd go to
Lucky Boy and get breakfast burritos at any time of day, because they're open 24 hours ago at 7pm,
you know, or we might even be there, it might have been a night game, I've been 10pm, I'm there past
my bedtime, eating a Lucky Boy breakfast burrito. And to me, that is one of my greatest food
experiences of all time. And that's what I try to recapture. But not only that, that is the experience that I want to share with other people when I talk about breakfast burritos.
Does that mean I'm incredibly biased and there's no actual answer to this?
No.
I just like breakfast tacos more.
They're easier to eat, they're easier to construct, and they go down quicker.
to eat, they're easier to construct,
and they go down quicker.
If you eat a breakfast burrito, your whole entire, like, hour
is dedicated to that burrito
and that burrito only. And that's beautiful!
And I don't know about you! That's beautiful!
No, no! Don't applaud her!
Let me just say, I'm a busy girl.
I got a lot of things on my plate.
I can't have a breakfast burrito
be them. I love going out and getting
a breakfast burrito, don't get me wrong, but I'm just home.
I just slap three corn tortillas in the microwave,
do a little toast on the end with my, you know,
I turn on the gas burner,
and then I just kind of flick it on the flames
to get a little bit charred.
I scramble some eggs.
I put on some salsa.
I put on some avocado.
I go chomp, chomp, chomp, and I'm done.
Okay?
With a burrito, you have to have a minor in architecture to be able to make a good breakfast burrito.
I don't have that kind of education, and I'm not willing to go to any sort of online college degree to get that.
You know what I mean?
University of Phoenix online for burrito architecture?
I paid $900 for that class, and I'm going to use it.
It's just the ease of, it's about the ease of eating it, you know?
And that's where I'm coming from, you know?
Easy, fast, get it done, eggs in my body, tortilla, peace out.
Hold on.
I respect that.
I respect that breakfast tacos might be more democratic.
And who am I to sit here and gatekeep the egg and tortilla eating experience?
That is not my intention.
It's so good.
What my intention is, is to
preach to all of you out there
to take more time with your food.
You said it's easier to eat breakfast tacos. It's faster.
Take more time. Does that mean better?
Does that mean better? You literally
take fistfuls of lunch
meat and shove it in your gullet
because you don't
sit down to take a lunch break.
And you mean to tell me, take your time
with your food. You're lying!
You're a hypocrite!
I did not perjure myself.
Also, as the person who ate
three pounds, three ounces of baby food
in one minute, not one day ago.
Give it up for Josh! I know something
about eating food quickly. I'm proud of you.
That was quite a feat.
Can we address the elephant in the room? Did you try at all yesterday?
What do you mean? I looked at your can
of baby food and it was
99.9% full.
I was, you know, have you ever seen that
meme that's like pie
eating contest? Nasa
free pie. Oh yeah. That's me
but with apple baby
food. Yeah, but that meme is successful because people
universally love eating pie you're just down to nosh on some baby food you're like i'm feeling
peckish let's add some prune puree it's mythicon boo like what else are we gonna do
i think that breakfast tacos and breakfast burritos to me they're not like a staple of
my day-to-day right my day-to-day well that's you you see staple of my day-to-day. Right? My day-to-day. Well, that's you.
You see me in my day-to-day. Yeah.
In what I eat. Yeah. And like you said, it's
fistfuls of lunch meat. Yeah.
It's a lot of protein shakes. So much mustard recently.
Yeah. You look like a mustard kick.
Let me explain what she's talking about.
So often, you know,
we're both busy gals on the go.
We were, you know, our job,
we're always producing a lot of food, we're filming a lot of stuff,
recording a lot of podcasts. There's not
a lot of time in the day, so sometimes for a quick
and healthy lunch, I'll put a pound of
ham on a plate, but I spread
it out so there's a lot of surface area
and then you make like a spider web of
mustard and then you shove that in your face
over the trash can.
And to me... Clap if you relate.
That was a lot more clapping
than I was anticipating.
Life is hard, okay?
Life is hard.
Sometimes you just gotta
shove lunch meat in your gullet.
But for me,
something as special
as a breakfast burrito.
It is special.
I agree it's special
and it's an event.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm saying eventize
your food more, right?
Like almost treat it
as a meditative experience.
Eating a breakfast burrito
is meditative for you? Yes, 100%.
100%.
It is, you can find
God in a good breakfast
burrito. Nicole, when you get to that last
bite, when you hold a burrito vertically,
talking about architecture, this is where a burrito
really shines to me because the last bite all of the juices from the
bacon they've now trickled downward like a babbling brook into the potatoes at
the bottom and the body is barely holding on by a thread because you can
literally go and slurp up the breakfast juices from the butt of the tortilla and
to me that is a religious experience and I think, thank you.
And I think every time you
mindlessly shove these breakfast tacos
that you're making into your mouth, I think you're
spitting in the face of burrito god
up there, okay? I think you are
a burrito heretic
and you need to atone. You're just being a weird burrito
zealot right now. Okay, but besides
all this anger and all this
what is your favorite breakfast burrito?
Like, or taco?
Like, what is your ideal situation?
Like, tell me.
Okay.
So there are a lot of like fancy new school breakfast burritos out there.
And a lot of them are really fun.
I've had, there's one from a spot in Los Angeles that does like some of the best pastrami you've
ever had.
And they're smoking this Texas style, you know, it's like a Texas style brisket, but with pastrami spices.
They smoke their potatoes.
And they do poached eggs in there.
So you get the runny yolk and peppers and onions.
And it's really beautiful and great.
But to me, the glory of a breakfast burrito is in its simplicity.
You get some sort of crispy fried potato.
And I think maybe the best potato for a breakfast burrito is the tater tot.
The tater tot.
No.
No.
It's home style potato.
No, no.
That's where you're wrong.
Boo her.
Boo this woman.
Don't boo me.
I love-
Tater tot.
Well, I'm a tater tot hater.
I know, which I don't understand.
Can you-
Okay, everyone-
No, no.
Explain to the people.
Take a breath. Breathe in, breathe out.
Yeah, I'm just not a big tater tot person.
What do you mean you're just not a big tater tot person?
They're always too dry.
They're too crispy.
The potato's
beauty is the soft, creamy
inside that you get with a home style
or a french fry. Tot is too
much crisp, too much crunch. I don't need fry todd is too much crisp too much crunch i don't
need that too much crisp too much crunch no no the point of a potato is that it was a food of
austerity right it was literally do you who wants to hear about potato history yeah do you have it
doesn't matter because i'm gonna talk about it yeah so okay so a lot of people um somebody sent
me a meme that was like,
mashed potatoes are just Irish guacamole.
I get sent that often, too, actually.
But potatoes did not come to Europe until the Columbian Exchange.
So, until 1492, potatoes are native to Peru.
Correct.
Specifically.
And so, they were growing in South America. So, literally, you think of Ireland and potatoes,
they literally weren't even there until the mid 1500s.
And a lot of dishes, recipes, the tortilla, for instance, dates back probably around 10,000 years, which is incredible.
So Ireland and potatoes only, you know, maybe 500.
And so literally the government was like, we've had a lot of wheat crops failing.
We've had a lot of wheat crops failing.
We need a new plant to be able to feed the masses,
especially as there was a little bit more industrialization,
urbanization, people moving to cities, stuff like that.
So they literally just started planting potato crops.
And you'll see a lot of philosophers actually write about potatoes.
There was one, I can't remember the name of the philosopher, but he was talking about how he thought the Irish were the most beautiful people because they ate the most potatoes.
And yeah, so it's a really new crop, but it was also a crop specifically for the peasants.
You've heard the Irish potato famine, of course.
It was all because of like really predatory British taxation policy that basically there was one potato blight.
Suddenly the Irish had nothing to eat.
So potatoes have always been a food of necessity and austerity.
I love them.
However, I think a lot of the best recipes try and get the most potato out.
So to me, you grind the potato, you grind it with MSG, with salt, with oil,
you mash it into a tot shape, you deep fry it,
and then to me, that is the best because it removes the austerity
from the potato and transforms it via industrialization, Nicole.
I just don't like tater tots!
Thank you!
Okay, so you like tater tots.
What else?
Wait, real quick. Y'all want some tater tot history?
Sure!
I'm sorry. I couldn't turn this off
if I tried. It's okay. Go for it.
Tater tot is actually one of the most
protected pieces of intellectual property
by Orr Ida, right? Yeah, the
Orr Ida company, which y'all have seen
that brand in the freezer and stuff. It's literally a
portmanteau of Oregon and Idaho because that's
where all the potatoes are grown. It's a co-op.
And nobody else can use the phrase
Tater Tot legally. Yes. That's why
you'll see Burger King will have like
potato nuggets or it'll be like Tater
Crowns, Tater puffs.
Tater nuggies.
Tater tot.
They are so protective of it, and I think that's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it's such a stupid name.
And they have lawyers in suits in New York filing injunctions against a diner.
I can't say tot.
But anyway, so I love tater tots.
Okay.
Give me a good hard scrambled egg. Hard scramble. Hard scramble. Okay, yeah. I don't need a soft scramble. I agree. I agree tater tots. Okay. Give me like a good hard scrambled egg.
Hard scrambled.
Hard scrambled.
Okay, yeah.
I don't need a soft scrambled.
I agree on the hard scrambled.
Give me a Denny's style hard scrambled egg.
Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
And then I don't, I love chorizo and eggs as a thing, but in a breakfast burrito, I'm
probably going bacon.
Yes.
And then some.
Crispy bacon.
Crispy bacon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not, it's separate from the eggs, not scrambled in.
No, no, no.
Tater tots. Yes, yes, yes. A ton of just the eggs, not scrambled in. No, no, no. Tater tots.
Yes, yes, yes.
A ton of just the most processed yellow cheese possible.
It needs to be yellow.
It needs to be yellow.
Yeah, yeah.
And then here is the kicker that a lot of people have started doing today.
I think that in the past five years, we've found out that people love mayonnaise a lot
more than they thought they did.
Can we get a shout out for mayonnaise in the crowd?
He's right.
He's right.
Yeah.
Watching a giant crowd chant for mayonnaise is kind of weird looking on it now.
But no, people will, they'll mix anything red or orange with mayonnaise and then they'll
call it something else.
And people are like, I love this.
And it's like, that's 98% mayonnaise.
You just love the mayonnaise.
And that's fine.
You're 98% mayonnaise.
I really am.
I come from a long line of mayonnaise. I grew up eating it out of the mayonnaise. And that's fine. You're 98% mayonnaise. I really am. I come from a long line of
mayonnaise. I grew up eating it
out of the jar. Oh no! But no, you put some
sort of like spicy chipotle aioli
and you're fancy. And then
to me, that's a perfect breakfast burrito. You have a great
salsa roja on the side
and then you wrap it up, you griddle it off,
you wrap it in foil for at least five
minutes to steam. That is the ideal
breakfast burrito. It's just so involved.
It's exhausting.
Yes, but...
Nobody has time for that in this world right now, Josh.
I don't...
Maybe on a Sunday.
Well, I'm not talking about making breakfast burritos.
I do that sometimes.
That's like a special occasion,
which is to say only when I'm deeply hungover.
Oh, yeah.
Because there's only one
cure for that.
To me it's a breakfast burrito, a quart of black
coffee and a 16 ounce green juice. A quart?
A quart of black coffee. With a Q.
That is not medical advice by the way. How much caffeine is that?
I'm a quart of black
coffee. Probably like 450.
And how much is
a human supposed to drink? The FDA says
anything over 400 per day is toxic. Josh! But, but, but... And how much is a human supposed to drink? The FDA says anything over 400 per day is toxic.
Josh!
Butt, butt, butt.
Jeremiah Sherrod.
I'm at least...
No, it's Daniel.
Okay, Nicole, Miriam, and I.
I had a moment, I had a moment.
My thought is I'm 30% larger than the average human.
I can drink 30% more caffeine.
I don't know, I don't know, okay.
Thank you.
No, no, no, no.
I'm built different.
Okay, tell me about your ideal breakfast taco. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Thank you. No, no, no, no. I'm built different. Okay.
Tell me about your ideal breakfast taco.
Okay.
So, like I said, you put the corn tortillas on a paper plate, and then you microwave it
for 13 seconds.
You're talking about the cheap paper plate, too, right?
Cheap.
It has to be cheap.
You got to use three of them so it doesn't fold over?
And then you take it while it's still piping, piping hot.
And then you slap it on the grill.
Not on the grill.
What's it called when the fire comes?
A burner.
Thank you.
From the gas burner.
Ah, the old fire hole, you say.
And then you singe it ever so gently so it gets a little bit of color.
You know what I mean?
And then hard scramble.
And then some delicious salsa that's just hanging out in your cupboard.
Wait, do y'all have cupboard salsa?
Because that's, yeah.
As much as I wish I could make my own salsa, some jarred stuff is just better, man.
It's good.
It's good.
I'm not going to front.
And once you find a brand that you trust.
Yeah.
I've been obsessed with that.
It's called Casa Martinez.
They do this like chipotle salsa, and then they call it like salsa de tatamara.
Oh, nice.
Oh, man.
I will literally, it's actually shocking how fast I'll eat a jar of salsa.
It's good.
Especially when Julia's out of town and I'm left to eat for myself.
Fistful of meat in the salsa jar.
Oh, no.
Whole rotisserie chicken.
And if you break it apart just right, you can fit each piece
inside the jar of salsa and pull
it out. And then
it's like... Pure class. Just pure class.
Thank you. I am very dignified, man.
But I have literally
eaten a full jar. It's like a 16-ounce
jar in a day and a half. That's a lot of tomato.
Yeah, yeah. It's good.
Do you have acid reflux?
No, but now that I've turned 30
give it up for 30 year olds
30 year olds
we're trying our best
now that I've turned 30
I can like feel all the
gears unraveling in my body
and things are just starting to go south
so give me a year and a half and I'll be there
nice nice
I've had acid reflex since I was like 11
heyo and I'll be there. Nice, nice. Yeah, yeah. I've had acid reflux since I was like 11. Hey-o!
Where was I?
Oh, I was talking about what I like to put
in my breakfast tacos.
Okay, salsa from the cupboard
and then just a very light
slice of avocado
and then a single cilantro piece.
Wait, are you serious?
That's it, that's it, that's it. are you serious? That's it. That's it.
That's it.
I don't, that's it.
That's my favorite.
Do you keep cilantro?
Cilantro, it goes pretty quick.
Like that wilts in the fridge fast.
You're keeping cilantro on hand just for the single piece to go on a breakfast taco.
I always have cilantro and parsley in my fridge.
That's actually smart.
Always.
I actually do too.
And I do switch it out whenever it starts to look a little bit funky.
But yeah, that's my ideal breakfast taco. And I think it's delicious. And I do switch it out whenever it starts to look a little bit funky. But yeah, that's my ideal breakfast
taco. And I think it's delicious. And I think it's
easy. It's for the working girl.
And you just put it in.
And let me tell you, sometimes people are
so talented. Their breakfast taco game is
incredible. Like here, I've had a chorizo.
It was chorizo,
egg, and Monterey Jack. And it was just
perfect. You don't need anything.
You don't need all the bells and whistles.
You don't need to put it in foil
and griddle it. No, just eat it.
It's delicious.
Go away.
I'm legally obligated to be here.
You can leave now.
I do think
one thing about food
that I generally believe in,
I'll never forget, I went to a
restaurant with my great uncle and my brother, and it was called House of Cheesesteaks, somewhere
near Allentown, Pennsylvania.
Allentown.
Go birds, baby.
Allentown.
The town of Allentown.
But my brother orders a plate of spaghetti, and my great uncle stops him, and he goes,
it's called the House of Cheesesteaks.
Okay, yes.
You get a cheesesteak.
Yeah.
And so my brother still ate the spaghetti.
Oh, yeah.
He's just that kind of guy.
Yeah, he's kind of a schmuck.
He's really picky about stuff.
But anyways, if you're in a place like Austin, Texas, for instance,
you should be eating the things,
one, eat whatever the heck you actually want.
That's true.
But two, eat the things that Austin is known for, right?
Yeah.
That's why yesterday, before the baby food
competition, we ate like two pounds of brisket.
It was so much fun. Actually, not brisket. Smoked
beef cheeks. Beef cheeks?
Oh my god. Dang.
Yeah, shout out for Cabeza.
Wow, wow, wow. The barbacoa we had was
fantastic. Incredible. We had a smoked
cheeseburger. I mean, what kind of
timeline is this? But that's something
we can't get that anywhere in LA where we're from. No, we can't this but that's something we can't get that
anywhere in la where we're from we can't you can't get stuff like that in a majority of america that's
one of the beautiful things about food right yeah is it's rooted to time it's rooted to place it's
rooted to tradition and so if i'm in austin texas which i am now and i have not had a breakfast taco
yet on our trip you haven't tomorrow's Everyone scream the best place to get a breakfast taco right now.
Taco Deli. Taco Deli?
I got it all. Okay, Taco Deli is OG.
Went in there. Taco Deli. Tamale House East? Tamale House East?
Yeah? The Vasquez family?
Diana Vasquez at Tamale House East?
What?
Alright, stop. I'll go already.
Jeez. Calm down.
I like it when they scream.
But no, that's kind of my point, though,
is like if you're in Austin, get the breakfast tacos.
Yeah.
But the only ones that we're exposed to in LA
are the ones that are transplants from Austin.
So we're getting like a facsimile on a facsimile,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, I guess.
Which isn't like an argument for,
my deeper thing, though is that i i generally love
variety right and that's what you can get with a taco that's the beauty of a taco love variety
but sometimes you need a little bit of structure a little bit of you got to know what you're doing
in life sometimes you know when you wake up you brush your teeth you just it's natural
you eat a breakfast burrito and then and then you just don't know what you're gonna do for the rest of the day i can't live like that that is fair if i too much
stress and anxiety with eating a big ass burrito like that if i eat a burrito like in the first
the first two hours of the day i'm kind of done for at least six hours i know that's like don't
talk which is kind of how i plan out all of my days now though is that i'm just because we don't
mess around we don't make little dinky ones.
We make, like, hefty, big...
I'm kind of burping a baby.
Sometimes I like to...
That's how big they are.
They're big.
They're huge.
We don't mess around
and make these little baby ones.
We go hard.
Sometimes I like to weigh them
just to see if I can hit a personal record.
And right now we're, like...
But it's got to be one standard 12-inch tortilla.
So far, the record for me is, like, 2.3 pounds.
Thank you.
I'm sorry?
I'm also impressed.
You know what it was?
There was a day on set where we had a bunch of leftover,
some sort of like ground chuck, some sort of like heavy fatty beef,
and we made like birria out of it.
Oh, was that the day you made the roll-ups?
And we just made burritos that were just straight filled with two pounds of beef,
and we just housed them.
Like, all of us individually ate two pounds of just the fattiest cut of beef
wrapped in tortillas, braised in spicy sauce,
and we were dead to the world.
Sorry to Rhett and Link, we lost the company money that day
because we did no work.
Josh stared at me, and he's like,
wow, you ate that quick.
And I'm like, yeah, it was good.
I remember that very vividly.
I remember you stood the burrito up because that's how thick it was.
And you weren't using your hands.
You were literally just like a bird eating seed.
Just like.
It was really impressive.
It was a feat of athleticism.
My mom would be so proud.
Yeah, weren't you going to be an English professor?
Yeah, this is better. It's way better better it's way better this is much more exciting you could um could you imagine if this was like a symposium
on charles dickens instead no it's like a tale of two cities what dickens was really
how do you feel okay we were talking about breakfast and breakfast tacos how do you feel
about chili chiles because i really like those oh wait no no hold up that's that's the best How do you feel... Okay, we were talking about breakfast zubis and breakfast tacos. How do you feel about chilaquiles?
Because I really like those.
Oh, wait.
No, no, hold up.
That's the best breakfast dish in the history of breakfast dishes, right?
Chilaquiles.
I think chilaquiles over migas.
Me too, me too.
The way that I view this as a Californian, at least,
is that chilaquiles, you take the tortilla chips,
and they are sauteed in some sort of a salsa,
which, as a lover
of wet foods, I
just think it's the most beautiful invention.
And then most of the time they'll be
topped with a fried egg, you can get it with scrambled eggs.
Sometimes there's no egg at all. But then migas,
our Jewish people
call it matzah brie,
where you break up the matzah and the eggs.
But migas is like tortillas scrambled with
the eggs, right? Yeah.
See, I go chilaquiles over migas.
Me too.
I want the separate experience of the egg breaking into the spicy.
Yeah, we should debate that, but there is no debate.
Have you ever had a chilaquiles breakfast burrito where they take the chilaquiles, the soft, wet tortilla chips,
and they just shove it inside of a tortilla with eggs and more bacon?
And to me, Nicole, to me, to me, to me,
this is the promise of the breakfast burrito.
You can take anything in the world that you treasure and you want,
and you can shove that inside of a tortilla,
and you can eat it in your car.
I do love eating breakfast burritos in my car.
More than tacos.
What are we going to do? What am I going to do?
I'll tell you what
You know what podcast
Actually influenced the way
That I think about food
Which one?
More than ever
Which I didn't think
This man
Is it a hot dog?
Is it a sandwich?
No I'm saying
The one
I'm saying the one
That we
It's another one
No it's an episode
Of our show
Is what I was saying
Oh oh oh
Okay okay okay
And I didn't think
This man would ever
Influence the way
That I thought about food
Hmm
It was with Charles
Lincoln Neal
Oh I know that guy.
I don't know if y'all listened to the episode with Link
called Why Do Picky Eaters Exist?
But we wanted to have him on to talk about it
because we've been cooking for him.
I've been here for five years.
We're the opposite of picky,
so I really wanted to pick his plate
and find out what that means, yeah.
And I thought we were going to go away from that episode
imploring him to eat more adventurously. Not in the
show, at least, because he'll eat anything, but I'm
talking about in his real life. I was like, oh, he's going to come
out of this eating tomatoes, you know,
all that stuff. Yeah, we're going to inspire him to try
new things, but that didn't happen.
The opposite happened where he inspired me
to be more picky. Yeah.
Straight up. Because he was like,
forgive me, if Link's listening, forgive me for
paraphrasing here or misrepresenting, but he was like, I'm not picky. I'm preferential. He's like,
I'm a 44 year old man. Is he 44? Sorry, but he looks great, but he's like, I'm a 44 year old
man. I have spent my entire life figuring out what gives me pleasure, what gives me pain,
what I want to do, what I don't want to do.
And these are simply things that I don't want to do.
So for me, my allegiance to breakfast burritos at this point, I don't know if it's because
I'm a 30 year old man now and he can't teach an old dog new tricks.
You're only 30.
My bones feel so old.
The world is your oyster.
Shout out to the person at the meet and greet who was like, hey, can we do a jumping picture?
And I was like, physically, I don't know that I can.
I couldn't do it.
We all immediately started like warming up our knees.
We're like, well, let's see if it's possible.
I got two inches off the ground and crumbled.
I got zero inches.
I got like, what, like a quarter of an inch.
I was like, eh.
But you know what I mean?
I'm at this point where it's like,
I don't know that I want to change.
Do you picture yourself spending the rest of your life in California?
Yes, of course.
Really?
100%.
Like, you wouldn't.
I've never lived anywhere else.
I never went away for college.
I never did that study abroad stuff that all the cool kids did.
Like, I never did that stuff.
You never studied abroad in Barcelona?
No, I didn't.
But I've always wanted to. But I'm just so rooted and connected in California. My parents are here.
My in-laws are here. My life is here. And I don't know if I can necessarily reroute and go to,
I don't know, Idaho? No. No, Trevor's family's there. I can't go there. We do have a loose plan
to all move to a commune outside of Boise, Idaho.
That is not true.
Wait, no.
I'm saying it's a loose plan right now.
This is the first time I'm ever hearing about it.
Oh, no, no.
Me and Trevor talk about it all the time.
You do?
Well, mostly me and Trevor's dad.
Yeah, we talk.
His name's also Josh.
Cool guy.
But no.
To answer your question, no.
I imagine my whole life will be in California.
So I'm saying that influences your food decisions a lot, right?
I guess.
Like in all the things that you make.
If that were the case, then I would be team breakfast burrito.
Well, no, but I'm wondering where this is coming from then.
You know, is it, Nicole, is this you rebelling against your,
do you wish that you would have studied abroad in Barcelona?
Do you think that's related to my breakfast in the morning?
I'm just asking.
I'm trying to learn, Nicole, we're best friends, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
We spend more time together than any.
I just got two kittens and they're in the running, honestly.
I thought you were about to say two kids and I was like, what, dude?
No, not yet.
No, I just got two kittens and they're pretty sweet.
How am I not the godfather?
They're pretty sweet.
So they're like in the running.
It's like, Josh, two kittens.
I'll take that. No, you are my best friend. Yeah they're like in the running. It's like, Josh, kittens, you know. I'll take that.
No, you are my best friend.
Yeah, you're my friend.
I had a hair in my mouth.
My cat the other day, speaking of breakfast burritos,
I was literally eating a breakfast burrito.
It was from a place called Serviteca.
You ever had that one?
No, I've never had Serviteca.
Wait, somebody has had Serviteca breakfast burrito in here?
Yeah, wait.
I'm proud for that place.
The place is so good.
They do good work. The one on Venice? Yeah, wait. Let's... They do good work.
The one on Venice?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who wants to hear more
about Los Angeles
cross streets
and breakfast burritos?
I was eating a breakfast burrito
and it was standing up
and my cat comes up
and literally claw...
He like...
The way somebody would like
open a manhole cover,
he like clawed off
the top of my burrito
and it was incredible and i was i couldn't even be mad at him because i was just impressed
that's cute but i don't know why i like i don't know why i like breakfast tacos so much they're
just more compact they're easier to eat like i said i'm i'm i'm on the run you know i don't have
time to you know roll up a breakfast burrito and and put stuff in it and make sure all the stuff is good.
I don't have that time.
I just got to scramble some eggs and just go.
You're talking about breakfast tacos and breakfast burritos that you yourself make, right?
Yeah, that's where I'm coming from.
Because you have issues with control.
Oh, my God.
Don't psychoanalyze me in front of my friends.
Don't do that.
control. Oh my god, don't psychoanalyze me in front of my friends!
Don't do that! No, but that sounds like, you know, what part of it is that you want to have that control over what you're putting in it. You know, you can have
if you want to architecture each of those things differently, you're not then stuck with
a thing to call you're afraid of commitment. You're afraid of control.
Okay, the heft of a burrito scares me at
times. It's a commitment. Yeah, maybe I have commitment
issues. That's what I'm saying. You're a plate of commitment.
I have commitment issues. Open your heart.
I was at your wedding. How the fuck can I open this damn thing?
I ate so many skewers
of meat at your wedding.
I was...
Like literally, that was what I was doing 90%.
If you didn't see me on the dance floor, I was eating skewered
meat. Thank you. And for anybody wondering, it wasn't
just cabob. I mean, you had like nine different kinds of skewered meat at the wedding.
And to me, that's the height of luxury.
I had a lot of meat at the wedding, yes.
That's true.
Thank you.
Shout out to my mother-in-law for making that menu.
No, but I don't know.
I just can't commit to eating all of this in the morning.
I can't. I can morning. I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't do it.
Okay, so this is a thing I like to do with breakfast burritos,
especially if I'm a little bit, they call it cruda in Spanish.
I'm a little hungover, right?
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Then I'll take one bite every three minutes.
It's like power hour where you take a shot of beer every minute for 60 minutes.
I've never done that before.
What is power hour?
That was a college thing.
Nobody did that in college,
power hour?
What is it?
Yeah, come on.
Wait, repeat.
What is it?
You take a shot of beer
once every minute
for 60 straight minutes.
Can we do that later?
So it's like,
it's ultimately five beers in an hour,
which is a lot.
Oh, that's...
It is a lot.
And again,
this is not medical advice.
Yeah, a quart of coffee, five beers in an hour, which is a lot. It is a lot. And again, this is not medical advice. Yeah, a quart of coffee, five beers
in an hour, normal.
But I'll do that with a breakfast burrito
and I will graze on it.
Also, last time I got food poisoning was
from a breakfast burrito that had been sitting
at room temperature for like six hours. So maybe
don't do that. That's true, you did.
I think if I've learned anything today, it's that I do
a lot of dumb things. Rel's true. You did. I think if I've learned anything today, it's that I do a lot of dumb things.
Related to food? Yeah.
Does that track? Yeah, I'd say so.
Okay. But yeah, maybe
you're right. Maybe just tacos are just easier
and they're just my comfort. Maybe
that's what it is. Maybe just scrambled eggs
and a little tortilla is my comfort food.
And I don't want to change that. Just like how
you don't want to change your love of breakfast burritos.
And that's fine.
Right?
You know what we can't agree on?
No, I do.
I fully agree with that.
Again, Link taught me that.
Food is really personal.
Yeah.
Nicole, I'm not trying to change you of anything.
I'm trying to change myself.
I'm trying to convince myself to open my heart to the city of Austin, Texas,
and let me inside their breakfast taco culture.
Okay?
Because I want to believe honestly, like I,
I probably spent more time in Austin, Texas than any city outside of LA.
Uh, in college, we used to come here every spring break for the Texas relays.
And I take my little like per diem money and I would just go find the best
barbecue. I mean, I was waiting in line for Franklin barbecue before I,
the day I was supposed to thank you.
The day I was supposed to compete in the hammer throw.
Shout out track and field throwers out there.
Oh my goodness.
I was waiting in line for Franklin Barbecue
and ate brisket before I competed in an athletic event.
And so I have a deep, deep love for this city,
but there's always been the one thing,
and that's breakfast tacos
that I've never been able to fully embrace,
but I want to open my heart, Nicole.
Teach me to open my heart.
I have the solution.
What's that?
Let's go to breakfast tomorrow and just eat both of them.
I'm in.
And let's just do that.
I'm in.
We don't always need to agree, but we need to be open-minded.
I agree with that.
And that's what this whole podcast is about.
Honestly, people out there, especially locals, like on Twitter, Instagram,
send us all of your breakfast taco wrecks
because we actually are going to do that tomorrow.
We're going to do that tomorrow, yeah.
I want to give it a chance.
Let's do this.
I want to give it a chance.
Let's do it.
If there's one thing we can agree on,
it's that Gordon Ramsay sucks.
And I'll tell you why.
No, no, really quick, really quick.
Because we both mentioned specifically hard scrambled eggs.
I love hard scrambled eggs.
I love hard scrambled eggs.
You know who hates hard scrambled eggs?
It's Gordon Ramsay.
Because I have had breakfast tacos and breakfast burritos.
Have you all seen his video of the eggs?
Where he makes like a hot salty pudding and he's like,
oh, these are the best scrambled eggs.
It's like a custard.
And he's like, I don't know, man.
Put a little bit of creme fraiche,
take it off the heat, put it on the heat,
take it off the heat, yeah.
Just give me a hard scramble, man.
And I've had breakfast tacos
where they've tried those Gordon Ramsay eggs,
and you take one bite and it just goes,
it just spurts out the back.
So Gordon Ramsay, for ruining the couple breakfast tacos
that I've tried to love, screw you, man.
Still, if he's out there listening,
come on the show.
We,
we really would like that.
That'd be,
that'd be really big for the squad.
That'd be really big for the squad.
Very good.
Ready?
Oh,
we're doing the next part of it.
Holy smokes.
There's two parts to the podcast. Oh yeah. And we say something. Yeah. Do you want me to say it? No, wait, doing the next part of it. Holy smokes. There's two parts to the podcast.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And we say something.
Yeah.
Do you want me to say it?
No, no, no.
Wait, do you want to say it?
No, you say it.
All right, Nicole.
We've heard what you and I have to say.
Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the crowd.
We're doing a special live version of Opinions Are Like Casserole.
Circular breathing.
Wait, well, we didn't do the full song.
Okay.
One, two, one, two, three.
Opinions are like casseroles.
Everyone's got one and they smell like onions.
That's the only thing we've written so far.
But if somebody wants to like really, you know.
What rhymes with onions?
Bunions.
Obviously, what's the other one?
Bunions, bunions.
And if you don't have comfortable shoes, you'll get bunions.
We need to get sponsored by like a bunion cream
company first.
This is a business, folks.
This is a business.
This is a podcast, Dr. Scholls.
Dr. Scholls is a real
doctor. Anyways, we got
people out in the crowd.
Form your opinions.
We got people with microphones.
Alright, Annalise is finding it.
If anybody has... Oh, please raise your hand. Annalise is finding it. If anybody has...
Oh, please raise your hand. Annalise will find
you in the crowd. Oh, Josh will
find you. Okay, I'll pick. Alright, we got
right up front. He gave me a great Taco Deli
taco recommendation. Annalise, sorry to make
it run around. Also, can everybody give a hand
to Annalise who is literally... She's the
best!
She's the best! Literally the
MVP of Mythical Kitchen
and most of Mythical Entertainment.
Mashed potatoes
are savory pudding.
Wait, wait, mashed potatoes are...
What's your name? Hold on.
And my name's Clifford.
Mashed potatoes are savory pudding
and my name's Clifford.
Mashed potatoes are savory pudding.
Hold on.
Hold on now.
Are they?
Okay, so, so, so, so, so, so.
Oh, no.
No.
Gravy.
Gravy.
Have you ever put like chocolate sauce or whipped cream on like pudding?
Yeah.
That's fair.
I will say, okay, so.
That's just gravy.
So pudding.
Yeah.
Yeah. I think he's right. I think he's fair. I will say, okay, so. That's just gravy. So pudding. Yeah, yeah.
I think he's right.
I think he's right.
Because pudding is something that,
it's like a sweetened cream that's thickened by starch, right?
Because if you look at like French custards that's thickened with egg.
Yeah, sure.
American puddings, and we're not talking about British pudding because when British people say the word pudding.
It means cake.
I have no idea what they mean.
It's a sponge.
No, no, no.
But like sometimes it means an actual pudding
and then sometimes it means just something I'm eating for dessert
and then sometimes it just...
Like what's a Yorkshire pudding?
I have no idea.
A bread.
It's like a bread.
But like how do they...
Do we have any British people in the crowd?
Oh my God.
Over there.
Wait, hold on.
Microphone's going to you to explain pudding, please.
Okay, so you can use the word...
The accent's legit. Sorry.
That was real.
You can use the word pudding for any dessert,
but mainly it's like sponges,
like hot sponges with sauce.
Like sticky toffee pudding.
Pudding.
And like, yeah, Yorkshire puddings are great.
They're amazing.
I'm a fan. I'm a fan.
I'm a fan.
Also, the way you say sponge is right to Great British Bake Off for me.
It is just right.
It's real.
It's real.
That's a lovely sponge.
The crumb on it is beautiful.
Paul Hollywood's eyes haunt me in my sleep.
I would agree that mashed potatoes are a savory pudding.
It is thickened with starch.
I think you're right.
And the gravy is the whipped
cream slash syrup you put
on top. So very astute.
Do I still think mashed potatoes are
the worst form of potato preparation?
Yes. That's shady.
That is so shady.
Keep booing me. Yeah, boo him.
You're going to do a mashed potato
eating contest just because of this.
That's fair.
Yeah, all potatoes do turn into mashed potatoes
within five seconds of entering your mouth.
Do we have another opinion?
Raise your hand.
I've been booed in this tent so much now.
I love it.
Right over there.
You.
I'd like to talk about avocado being added to everything,
making it more expensive.
Yeah.
Yes.
It's kind of not that strong of a flavor.
I mean, it is good, don't get me wrong, but you put it in something like, say, a grilled cheese with some nice strong cheeses, you just completely lose the avocado.
Preach.
Wow.
Preach.
Be more discretionary with your avocado usage.
This is true.
This is true.
I love avocados.
I put them on just about everything.
But whenever I go to a restaurant and it says $1.75 to add an avocado, I want to rage.
Too damn high.
I get so mad.
The price of the avocados are too damn high.
I get so mad.
I'm like, $1.75?
I could just buy another bagel with that.
What are you talking about?
So I love avocado and I understand why it's
so delicious and unctuous and beautiful. It's like
fat from a tree. It's
beautiful, but
I just can't justify
constantly getting it on my food for that kind of price.
I also love that you didn't just come in with a
flavor argument, but you were like, this is an
issue of supply and demand economics.
If you see the elastic curve on the avocado demand scale, but you were like, this is an issue of supply and demand economics. If you see the elastic curve
on the avocado demand scale, but
no, it's true. The fact that people
love avocado so much that you will throw
it on, if I see avocado
and a fried egg on a burger,
I immediately don't trust whoever
made that because I'm like, it's either
or. The egg and the avocado function as
the same thing. Unless it's a breakfast
burger. I'll let that slide.. Unless it's a breakfast burger.
I'll let that slide.
Thank you.
But if it's a breakfast burger, it probably has bacon to cut through that.
Because avocado, like you said, it's tree fat.
It's tree fat.
It's just a little fat thing that grew from a tree.
And so for me, if you view cooking like algebra,
who wants to hear a metaphor about algebra?
Sorry.
No, but I'm saying like, if you view
cooking as having different variables
that you can plug in different values for, right?
You already have fat with
the avocado, kind of like
plugging up that hole for a variable
and if you put egg in there, it's like, well, that's already been
if you have fat taken care of, you need to add in
If it's a runny egg, yeah. Yeah, you need to add acid.
You need to add salt. You need to add something else.
I totally agree with you. We need to be more discretionary
and a grilled cheese with avocado is the
perfect example of a bad use of avocado.
Agreed.
Amen. Great opinion.
Great opinion.
That's why we do this.
We also have a mic
with Logan on this. Oh, yeah.
Who else has a terrible opinion?
Right there, glasses.
Sorry I called you glasses like an 80s bully.
Hey, you, glasses.
Don't worry, I'm very self-conscious about my glasses.
They look good.
Thank you.
Anyway, I don't know how you classify uh cereal but i classify cereal as a soup
cereal is a soup yeah i i think i'd agree with that right so uh we talked about this on the pod
this was maybe episode two or three i think it's episode it's episode three thank you so much he
knows he knows thank you thank you um and you. And you kind of brainwashed me into believing that a cereal is a soup.
And I did it not because I believed it, but because I could.
And I hate to say it, but yeah, cereal is a soup.
And I hate that.
That's true.
Yeah, it's a cold soup.
Gazpacho is a cold soup.
Is oatmeal a cold soup?
No, oatmeal is a porridge, which is distinctly different from soup. It's a gruel. It's a gruel.acho is a cold soup. Is oatmeal a cold soup? No, oatmeal is a porridge,
which is distinctly different from soup.
It's a gruel.
It's a gruel.
It is a gruel.
And gruel is...
I freaking love gruel.
I love gruel.
We...
Right?
Is gruel a pudding?
We got to ask the Britain back there.
I don't know if gruel is a pudding.
The Britain.
But no, I have since...
I've evolved my stance on this
to now believe that soup does not exist
and I refuse to recognize it as a term.
So thank you for your time.
Exactly.
You can listen to the podcast episode, Soup Does Not Exist.
All right.
Let's see who wants to answer the question.
Let's go over there.
Thanks, Logan.
Everyone clap it up for Logan, too.
Hi, Logan.
Cutie.
What a cutie cutie okay
the best snack
to have with a glass
of red wine
is jalapeno goldfish
dipped in honey
wait what
someone run that back
okay
the best snack
to have
with a glass of red wine
is jalapeno goldfish and honey.
Okay.
All right.
Let me mull this over.
Sounds good.
Yeah.
Are you tasting the notes?
Because I immediately know what that tastes like.
There are only those mega goldfish.
The big blast goldfish.
Big blast goldfish.
I've had those before.
Okay.
I hate them.
I do too.
But the jalapeno ones are good.
But the jalapeno ones, man. Okay. Okay. Okay hate them. I do too. But the jalapeno ones are good. But the jalapeno ones.
Honey, jalapeno,
fake cheddar,
soft, nice,
red wine.
What varietal?
What kind of red wine?
Whatever Trader Joe's has for $6.99.
That's right. Amen. That is the only correct
answer. That is the only correct answer. That is the only correct answer.
That's the way to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love savory sweet combos like blue cheese and honey is one of my favorite flavors in
the whole entire world.
So jalapeno and honey makes a lot of sense to me.
And red wine always makes sense to me.
So I can't wait to try this.
I'm going to preface this with all wine pairings are a scam.
It's literally all of them.
It's a magic trick.
If somebody sells you a good story, you'll buy it.
I know.
I know.
And that's fine.
But what I'm saying is if it tastes good to you, that's the only thing that matters.
I will say most spicy food people tend to pair with young harvest Rieslings.
My brother is a
sommelier and he's really annoying
and so I was trying to channel him
on that.
But no, I'll come eat goldfish
with you, drink some red wine. Let's do it.
What else we got?
Big man in the orange sweater
in the back.
I like your glasses
Thank you
Peanut butter and jelly
On toasted bread
With hot tea
Is the best comfort food
You say with hot tea?
Yes
Dude, wait
Okay, let's break this down
You sound like my dad
No, not your voice But that sounds like something my dad eats.
Hot tea.
It's got big dad energy to it.
Toasted bread.
Oh, because the hot tea just calms him down after a hard day.
No, I get it.
I get it.
That is something my father would consume.
Wait, can I ask a follow-up question?
Yes.
Do you build the PB&J on the bread while it's hot,
or do you let the toast cool down?
No, you have to do it while it's hot.
It's got to be hot.
It melts the peanut butter and makes it very creamy
and also helps melt the jelly as well.
Sounds good.
I'm ethically opposed to this.
I don't know if anybody else is.
I'm ethically opposed to this.
You're ethically opposed to this of all the things?
Hold on.
Why, is it the toast?
Is it the toast that bothers you?
To me, okay, no, no.
I like, I asked that question specifically
because for me, I like that,
but I let the bread cool down
strictly because of the runniness.
So if you like the meltiness
of the peanut butter,
but to me, the peanut butter
when it melts, right?
So peanut butter is,
I believe it's like what,
partially hydrogenated oil a lot of the time
and so the oil is going to be
at room temperature, very solid. When it's
hot, very liquid, right? And so
the liquid starts to seep into the
bread, which to me, loses the essence
of peanut butter, which is that creamy mouthfeel.
I like hot peanut butter.
And then again, it's a matter of preference.
De gustibus non est
disputandum. He's speaking Latin again. I'm speaking in tongues. There's no disputing in matter of butter. And that, again, is a matter of preference. Yeah. De gustibus non est disputandum. He's speaking Latin again.
I'm speaking in tongues. There's no
disputing in matter of tastes.
So this is pure, did I bring up
ethics? Sure, but
other than that. And then the jelly,
the same thing. It melts, the sugars run.
Sometimes you bite into it, it spills over.
I like it. Yum.
Thank you. That was wonderful.
You should host the podcast.
Another opinion?
Right over there,
Mr. Shakehand.
Yeah, you.
Back there.
You're next.
You're next.
Hey, it's better
to share vegan food
with people and not
tell them it's vegan first.
Okay.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, yeah.
Big time, brother.
Yeah, like come over for pizza.
It's just pizza.
And then it's vegan pizza.
And they don't know.
How do you feel about that?
I am a huge...
I am a huge...
I thought he was about to say it's better
to feed vegans non-vegan food and not tell
them. I was like, no, no, no.
Don't do that. Don't do that. That's not fair.
But the opposite. Everybody should
be eating vegetables and
more. Yes. More veggies in your body.
Yeah. And I we so we
recently did an episode where
we called it like Catch the Impostor Cook
with Damien from Smosh.
But I made what I was calling like a sort of vegan carnitas, which I know carnitas means little meat.
So you can't have vegan carnitas. Yeah, whatever.
But we like confit mushrooms and made them super crispy and they tasted like meat.
And we made just this super spicy salsa on it.
And if like you ate a bite of it, you probably wouldn't think it was made from animal product but you would think this
is freaking delicious and I think
one of the problems with like you said
if you tell people it's vegan food they think
healthy that does not I assure
you if I'm cooking vegan food it probably
won't be vegan does not equal
healthy you can deep fry something
and still make it deep fried cauliflower that's not
healthy falafel is vegan and it's
just deep fried beans.
Maybe it's delicious.
And so I totally agree.
I agree.
It needs a rebrand.
Yeah, I agree.
Drop the V word.
Feed your non-vegan friends vegan food, but don't tell them it's vegan.
All right.
I'd say put that on a t-shirt.
That's a big paragraph.
Michelle, say your name. Oh yeah, Michelle. It's a big paragraph. Michelle! Say your name. Oh yeah, Michelle.
It's me, Michelle.
I believe
that the best topping for popcorn
is not butter, but hot
sauce. Okay.
Wow.
That is an opinion.
I
hate soggy popcorn
so much.
I make popcorn at home to watch shows with my very loving husband.
And if it is wet, I do not, like I just can't.
How often is it wet?
I don't know.
Sometimes, I don't know, water spills in it.
You know, accidents happen.
Whatever.
Whatever.
So if it's too saturated in butter or oil it's just
you know it's not fun what i like to do is a light spritz of some sort of like spray oil
and then i put like a like are you talking about pam non-stick spray yeah are you just
pamming down your popcorn i pam my popcorn what of it yeah and then and then i put like some sort
of sometimes i put tahini on it. Sometimes I put chipotle pepper.
Sometimes I put like truffle dust if I want to be fancy.
But yeah, that's how I do it.
But I love the idea of a hot popcorn.
Like spicy popcorn is just, the wetness just turns me off like immediately.
You know what a food memory that I try and recapture in my life all the time is?
What's that?
Because it's so strong.
Is being in a public pool as a kid and you get out and you reach
your hand into the bag of the communal Doritos.
Communal Doritos!
Yeah, like everyone who's reached it.
The bag might have even been next to the pool.
You might be reaching out of the pool.
And there is at least a quarter cup.
Some of you look disgusted and I feel judged
and attacked, but there's like
a quarter cup of just pure chlorine
in these Doritos. And they're the best Doritos
you will ever taste.
Oh, childhood. You're
talking about childhood right there.
But I love wet popcorn.
I will take hot sauce. I do it with
bags of chips. I'll just pour hot sauce in there and then
shake it. I like it with chips. Lime juice.
Something like that. I'm down with the wet
popcorn. Didn't you used to like dip it in like pickle
juice or something? Oh no, you'll flick some jalapeno juice at it.
Oh, yeah. This is what she does.
You just flick it.
Nice.
Just a flick.
Just a flick.
All right. Who else we got? Let's go to this side. Let's go to this side.
I have analysis paralysis. Nicole, you pick.
Blue hat up in the air.
Oh, yeah. That's good.
Dude knows how to get noticed at an auction.
4.5, 6.5, 7 an auction. He really wanted that rim rent.
Hello.
Hi.
Howdy.
Hi.
So I think bacon at its best is a crumbly thin slice of meat that's like 50% fat.
If you're going to get bacon, you might as well get a real meat to get the best bang for your cholesterol buck.
Interesting.
A proponent of thin,
crumbly bacon.
We call this condom meat theory.
This is the theory that
certain meats are only meant to act
as condiments. Facts.
Which bacon, I think, would be part of that.
And that's something that I generally agree with.
I think thick cut bacon
is, was that a baby crying or somebody yelling?
No.
That inflammatory.
Maybe it was both.
But I think, I think thick cut bacon is more often worse than thin cut bacon.
And people advertise like it's a good thing.
We're Denny's and we got the thickest bacon in our new bacon apia, bacon copia, brought to you by Minions 3D Dinner.
Okay, breakfast time,
I like the shoddery, crispy bacon in the morning.
But if I'm having bacon in the evening...
Oh, a little under the cover of night.
I like it a little juicy.
I like it a little unctuous.
Oh, that's sexy time, bacon.
I like sexy, floppy, a little bit like,
ugh, bacon, you know?
That's the sexy bacon noise.
Hard as a rock!
Hard!
Morning time hard as a rock.
Nicole and Heidi, everybody.
Sorry, I didn't mean it that way.
It's like the snippy snappy in the morning and then a little softer, like, throughout the day.
No matter what you say, it's going to be hilarious after that.
Sorry.
All right, who else we got?
Who else we got? Who else we got?
Dude in the hat up front.
You can just.
Freaking sick.
I saw that, dude.
So I don't think it's a bad thing if I mix everything on my plate.
Oh, you're a plate mixer?
Can we give a brief example?
Paint me a picture.
So let's say I have maybe a Salisbury steak,
some mashed potatoes and green beans with some gravy.
I'll chop up my Salisbury steak,
put it in my mashed potatoes along with the green beans.
Oh.
Talk about efficiency.
Okay.
I did shudder a little bit, but
I kind of like it.
You've seen me eat.
Yeah, I've been there.
Have you seen me eat more than anybody
else on the planet? Yes.
Wait, no, actually, crunch the numbers in your head. You have,
right? I don't know.
Like a parent, maybe, has seen you eat more?
Not to get into my childhood,
but I think you've been around me more than my parents
will have eaten. Yeah!
Healthy!
He's talking about treating every plate like a
burrito bowl, which I love.
Okay, so did you know that
at Chipotle, you can ask them to mix
the stuff inside and then close up your burrito?
Do you do that, though? No, I don't.
I don't either. But you can ask them and they'll
do it. But because for me,
a burrito or something like
Chipotle, it gets mixed up
incidentally enough. Sure.
Right? They're violently
wrapping it.
Yeah, I mean, honestly. And then they're throwing it in a bag.
It's like, you know, it's going into your car.
You get in like a little fender bender, you know.
And then you're like, you know, your license got suspended, so you make a run for it.
And you got the burrito in your back pocket.
And that's really hypothetically.
Somebody's been there before.
We're talking.
What does the term active warrant mean?
I don't know.
Me neither.
I probably won't worry about it.
I don't know what that is.
I probably get it.
Are you raising your hand because you know it?
Or do you have an opinion?
Or do you have an active warrant out?
But no, I'm saying incidentally, it gets mixed up to the perfect degree and i think probably the degree that this young man's talking about with his salisbury steak you know good because i don't
think i don't think you're advocating like pureeing it you know no no no no but yeah i want reasonable
i want everything on the plate touching loving you know i know a lot of people have food
sensitivities.
Yeah, some people like their food separated, and I get that.
But if you don't have that sensitivity, go for it.
Mash it all up.
Yeah, and then you just take a piece of bread and you just go and swipe the whole plate.
La escarpeta.
Esca la escarpeta.
Okay, opinion.
One more, one more.
Oh, the last one.
It's got to be good.
Right there.
Yes.
Yeah, he's been there from the beginning, man.
We got to get him. Go, Logan, go.
Last opinion.
Let's see. Wow. Hello.
So, my opinion is that
when I was a little kid, my
favorite snack after
school was Trix
yogurt and a stick
of string cheese, and I would
dip the string cheese into the
Trixie yogurt. Let him speak! Let the man
speak!
And I tried it recently
and it was still as good.
I know it for a fact!
Was it a mozzarella cheese?
String cheese? The mozzarella one?
Okay. I'm trying to find like a way
in. You know what I mean? Okay.
First things first. Trix yogurt, yum.
Trix yogurt is, it's like.
The splitsies, the splitsies with the pink and the blue.
Yes.
Except most of the time it just gets mixed and it's like a weird gray.
Yeah, I would purposely mix it.
It turns like indigo gray.
If you could call it indigo.
And then.
Wait, are you biting?
Are you biting?
We have so many questions.
Are you biting the string cheese or peeling it?
Yeah, I'm biting it.
Bite, okay, so...
It's the perfect way to eat it.
That's how you eat it.
The microphone rejected it.
It was just like...
You're a string cheese biter?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm also a Kit Kat biter as well.
What?
What happened?
What happened?
How can one man turn a crowd against him?
He bites Kit Kats, Nicole!
You bite Kit Kats?
In a world where the edges are perfectly lined to be bitten,
you bite it?
Yeah.
I can't look at you!
Being the biggest badass in the world.
That's what I do.
I can see this being good.
I can see the string cheese and Trix yogurt being good.
You've had like goat cheese with cranberries on the outside.
This is the same flavor combination he's talking about.
He's working within an Epicurean framework.
Yeah, sure.
And also he's a badass.
Okay, can I suggest something?
Of course.
Can you just peel,
okay, do this.
Peel all of the string cheese
like spaghetti.
Throw it in the Trix.
Mix it up.
I like where you're going.
Eat it like fettuccine.
Yes.
Yes.
See at me.
And tell me how it is, okay?
I will, I will for sure.
Tell me how it goes.
All right, y'all.
That wraps up our first ever Mythicon edition of a hot dog and sandwich.
Thank you for being here.
Honestly, give it up for yourselves.
We got a whole lot more.
You guys are incredible.
Thank you for coming out to Austin, Texas.
You are all incredible.
Be your mythical best.
It's an honor.
Thank you. Enjoy Mythicon Be your mythical best. It's an honor. Thank you.
Enjoy Mythicon, y'all.
Peace.