A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Does Ketchup Belong On Hamburgers?

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

There are many ways to top America's favorite sandwich, but today, we tackle the question... Does ketchup belong on hamburgers? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, mustard, bacon. Heck, we put a boneless rib steak on a burger yesterday. There are many ways to top America's favorite sandwich, but today we address a recent controversy that has been lighting up our Twitter feeds. Does ketchup belong on a hamburger? This is a hot dog, and a hamburger is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer.

And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today we are answering the question, does ketchup belong on a hamburger? Now, this is a bit of an old debate that's been brought back into the forefront by burger expert George Motes. He's a longstanding anti-ketchup burger aficionado when he broke his own rule by enjoying a Miami Cuban burger with plenty of ketchup on a show, Burger Scholar Sessions. Nicole, what do you think?

Does ketchup belong in a hamburger? I'm on George's side. No. You're always on George's side. For once, I want you to be on my side, Nicole. We've worked together. You what when you have burger aficionado on your business cards i'll be on your side but for now i'm on georgia's side no i don't think ketchup goes on a burger this is a complicated one nicole it always gets complicated for me literally like the most basic food questions

are complicated you just be like are chocolate chips cookies cookies and i'd be like well what do you define a cookie as? But I'm saying that yes, ketchup does belong in a hamburger. And we've kind of been down a similar road before on the podcast. There's our first podcast episode where we talked about does pineapple belong on pizza? Of course, yeah. And I took the stance that no, it does not. Because like the OG pizzas from Naples, they would balk, balk Nicole at the idea of pineapple

on pizza, even though it's something I enjoy. But I think the burger scenario is a little bit different than the pineapple on pizza thing. Because even though the original burger, right, like George Motz, he insists that the burger was invented at Louie's Lunch, I believe in Connecticut. They steam their hamburgers, they put it on white bread, and they have a strict no ketchup policy. They only put mustard and pickles on their burger because, quote, ketchup is too sweet to accentuate the beef. But I don't think that has the same power of the origin story of pizza for me. Then why? Is it because burgers are made in America?

It might be that. I think, so take the analogy. If 90% of Pizza Hut burgers had Pizza Hut burgers, why don't Pizza Hut make a burger? Pizza Hut should make a burger. Pizza should make a burger. There was a Portland comedian and fast food aficionado, Ian Carmel, recently made a hilarious Twitter video talking about how he wants a seven layer burrito from Taco Bell stuffed with pizza ingredients at the hybrid Pizza Hut Taco Bell. And I really want to make that because that'd be delicious. I think we should make that and send it to him ground shipping. That's a smart idea. Let's do it. He's a good dude. That's our next next adventure. But no, I think the analogy is if 90% of Pizza Hut pizzas had pineapple on them currently, because like 90% of burgers in America probably have ketchup or are served with ketchup,

right? Okay. So I think ketchup has maintained this level of ubiquity, even though it goes against the original wishes of the creator at Louie's Lunch and people like George Motes, who kind of want to vanguard the sanctity of the hamburger. I think now ketchup is so commonly eaten on hamburgers that I think it does belong. It's like when people misuse a word so often, it just ends up in the dictionary because they're like, look, we got it. They did that with irregardless recently. Irregardless.

And I love it. I read the dictionary, Josh. I read the dictionary. You just read the dictionary for fun? No, but my brother used to make me read encyclopedias, which is why I'm so good at Jeopardy. To be clear, to be clear, we have a long running Jeopardy competition on amazon alexa

with the producers department culinary team versus producers and we smoke them all the time like they misrepresent the numbers to make it seem like it's closer than it is but we beat them like 90 percent of the time on the actual day and we have less people on our team. So take that producers. And we have less people. That said, I think that ketchup is popular enough. And so many people have grown up with ketchup as a staple on burgers, where with pineapple on pizza, most people didn't grow up eating pineapple on pizza

literally all the time, like we did with ketchup on burgers. And I think it's popularity means that it does belong. The people have spoken ketchup belongs on burgers. I think ketchup can belong on a plate that also has a burger on it, but the true essence of ketchup is best actualized when it's served with french fries. I think when you put it on a burger, it completely muddies everything. You can barely taste the burger, the ketchup gets lost, the toppings are non-existent. It doesn't accentuate a burger the way that ketchup accentuates a french fry.

I think that really, I think burger sauce belongs on a burger. I think ketchup belongs on the french fries on the side along with the burger, but not just a burger and ketchup. That's actually a really interesting point that I never even thought about. Because for me, like one of the most enjoyable gustatory experiences in the entire world is a hot crispy french fry dipped in ketchup i think i i love mayonnaise with french fries too but ketchup is the perfect burger condiment because the sweet the acid the salt the spice if french fries are just pure starch and fat ketchup just brings all of that oomph to it and i love i love juxtap in food. Like it's the reason a deli pickle is so perfect

with like a fatty pastrami sandwich. 100%. Three bites of pastrami, one bite of just sour pickle. And I think burgers and fries satisfy that too, right? So I get that idea that like the ketchup on the burger almost dumbs down the ketchup with the fries. 100%. That's like a little bit compelling to me, but I think a thing we need to talk about so one of the reasons burger purists argue that ketchup doesn't belong in burgers is because simply it doesn't accentuate the taste of the beef and I agree I would agree with that and I think probably the best burger in America

I think most of the top 10 burgers that I've had my favorite burgers don't have ketchup on them like you and I talk about Father's Office right one of the OG like fancy best burger spots in LA. They have a strict no ketchup policy too. They put their little like Dijonais, whatever on it. And you know, there's bacon, jam. Yeah.

The bacon, onion, jam on it. And everything is designed to accentuate the beef. And the beef is always grilled to the perfect medium rare. And they have this melted cheese on the soft French roll. But how many burgers that you eat are actually in that echelon like the burger is not something that is always meant to be savored as the best food in the world the burger is a strict utility food 90 plus percent of the time and so for me if i'm eating you know say i'm eating subway right subway to me is the public water fountain of food

like it is the lowest level like if you're like thirsty and you're like i don't want to go buy a water bottle there's a water fountain i'm just gonna i need thirst to be quenched i'm a drink from a crappy rusty water fountain if i'm like okay okay wait wait wait wait first of all i would rather collect spit in my mouth for like seven minutes and drink that instead of a rusty water fountain josh you can't go to water fountains anymore you just gotta collect your spit in your mouth like me you're just collecting nickel that doesn't actually hydrate your body you're gonna suffer heat stroke and as we've learned in our recent hr training heat stroke is bad you know what i'll

believe it when i see it and i experience it till then i'm gonna have spit in my mouth for about seven minutes and swallow with gusto i mean if it were a choice between like chewing off my own finger and eating a subway sandwich i would have to be like well like what did i eat last what is my finger gonna be like i don't dislike subway but i'm saying it's like like you're on you know uh a road trip and it's like i need something to get me through the next five hours oh there's a subway inside this gas station let's get a sweet onion chicken teriyaki if i'm at subway like there is absolutely no rules for what i can and can't put on my sandwich i will put lettuce and mayonnaise on

my meatball sub just because i'm like no one, there is no respect for this food for a reason. The respect comes from its utility, from the fact that you can infinitely customize it to pleasure yourself. I don't like that I just said pleasure yourself, but the fact that you can, you know, make it to your liking is part of it. And I think that's what most, you know, hamburgers are like the quality of beef and 90% of hamburgers is not good enough to want to be accentuated uh you just call it crepe beef one word right the p is silent crepe beef yeah it's crepe it's crepe that like accurately describes 90 of the burgers that i eat and they're like perfectly fine it's the reason that i don't dislike impossible burgers in fast food because

it's like it tastes just as much like beef as the crepe beef that's coming out of say jack in the box and that's fine. You know, it's my favorite little tidbit of information. They cook the Impossible Burgers on the same griddles as the regular beef burgers. So you want to know why it tastes like beef? Because it's being cooked on the same griddle as the regular beef burger. They don't, I mean, sure, they probably like scrape it a little bit, but they're not changing the griddle. It's just one griddle. They don't, I mean, sure, they probably like scrape it a little bit, but they're not changing the griddle. It's just one griddle.

They don't have a special imposed vegan griddle for nobody. They don't come up with that stuff. Yeah, I guess that'd be insane if they did. Because like they can't just retrofit the entire restaurant for, you know, a vegan burger. That's wild. I never thought about that. Yeah, it's just one griddle. How many people have been tricked into just eating what they thought was a vegan burger

and just soaking up beef fat? Mill millions and millions of americans wait talk about the point with like uh we should be eating better burgers we should hold ourselves as a nation as a people as a whole entire species to eat better burgers sounds like you're running for congress i am running for Congress. I can't even say it. I am the AOC of hamburgers. I am the AOC of McDonald's land, as Ryan said. Part of Mayor McCheese's corrupt cabinet just funneling campaign funds through Grimace. That's me. Me and Grimace are tight. The Hamburglar is Mayor McCheese. They are in cahoots. They are running McDonald's land into the ground. They want you to think that they're enemies. They are in cahoots. They are running McDonald's land into the ground.

They want you to think that they're enemies. They want you to think that the Hamburglar is this nefarious character. No, no, no. It's like Richard Nixon just like, you know, funneling money through Spiro Agnew. Wasn't that a presidential candidate? He was his vice president. Vice president. Thank you. I knew it. Spiro Agnew is a great Jeopardy clue to know. Yeah. If it's any VP. I knew it was good. Spiro Agnew is a great Jeopardy clue to know. Yeah, if it's any VP.

So dorky. But no, I do think that we should eat better beef as Americans, as people. I think we should just have a higher quality of beef. So when we're putting ketchup on it, we don't feel bad about it. That brings up a good point. This is burger idealism versus burger realism, right? Like your point, and I totally agree that that like i wish we lived in a world where all the beef we got was like grass-fed grass-finished sustainably raised and actually tasted had that metallic tang of beef that i agree ketchup does not go on the ketchup

like you should not be putting ketchup on a steak if you want to that's totally fine but like those flavors don't work together the ketchup does overpower that beefy taste but the world we're living in right now nicole you can't just bury your head in the sand and say like oh every burger that we go out there is going to have you know this incredible beef on it if you want to pay like 12 for every fast food hamburger you eat i don't want to but i'm a champion of the people i don't want to but we're eventually gonna have to pay 12 dollars for a hamburger anyways just that's the way society works at this point in time you know what i like to do josh sometimes i like to drive this is so unsafe i like to eat a burger and then i like to take a ketchup packet i just slurp it out and then i take a bite and i and i drive with my elbows as i'm doing this and i take a bite of my burger and then i just slurp it out like the ketchup

you should feel bad in our recent hr training we learned that distracted driving is bad the best was i saw a lady eating a burrito as she was driving and i was about to screenshot it and send it to you and trevor, me, LOL, me. There was a man who got pulled over for what the cop thought was talking on his cell phone, but it turns out the guy was just eating a Big Mac. And there was like a video recording and the guy was like, I'm eating a Big Mac. And the cop was like, well, that's illegal too.

And he's like, no, it's not. You can eat a Big Mac while driving. And the cop's like, I don't think you can. And there's just this argument about whether you could or couldn't eat a Big Mac while driving. According to the law, I think it should be illegal. I don't think you should be. I think there need to be laws that it has to be like a consensus one hand food like you can eat beef jerky and Skittles while driving, but you cannot eat a Big Mac. You can eat a taquito, but you cannot eat, you know, like a Crunchwrap Supreme.

We should talk about something that's really interesting. How do you feel about ketchup leather, Josh? Do you want to tell the people what ketchup leather is? I think we should talk about it. Ketchup leather is interesting, especially because most fancy burger restaurants tried to like get rid of ketchup, right? They're like, we want to focus on our beef. But one of my favorite fancy burger restaurants, in full disclosure, I interned for them back in college and I got paid in free burgers. But they did a thing where they spread ketchup out in a thin sheet and then they bake it at a very low temperature to essentially create a fruit roll up made of ketchup.

And what that does is you put it underneath the burger and then the beef fat from the burger and all the juices soak into the ketchup and almost rehydrate it into these concentrated flavors under the burger so i like the idea that that's like a you know nouveau ketchup styling in a restaurant i don't think it's like the greatest thing in the world i think it's a bit gimmicky but i love the fact that they honored ketchup because i think ketchup is something i should be on a ketchup a time honor. It dates back thousands of years. Honestly, I think ketchup leather is whack. It's whack. I just don't understand. I just don't get it.

Like, why would I want a dry piece of sun? It's like literally like chewing on unreconstituted sun-dried tomatoes. It's not a pleasant experience for me at all. I think it just makes it like really, it's just an unappetizing situation. I appreciate the artistry that goes into it and the big brain that it took to come up with the idea. I really respect the idea, but the execution never really works for me.

And that makes me sad because I feel like it could, but it just doesn't. You know what I mean? No, I feel like in the ideal world, and't you know what i mean no i feel like in the ideal world and if like there was a chef back there creating every single burger to order and you made sure every burger was super juicy and the juice rehydrated the ketchup and blah blah blah then maybe but yeah i know what you mean like you get a burger that's not super hot and it's just this like floppy weird chewy piece of ketchup it's like why just put ketchup on it it's like

eating the crusties off of a ketchup bottle. It doesn't do it for me. It doesn't give me a pleasant experience. It's not a pleasant burger experience. I would rather put... Why are you eating the crusties off the ketchup bottle? I'm not. I'm saying if I were, it is like the same experience. No, but you've implied that you've done it.

No, I haven't. Maybe when I was seven. Whatever. Don't judge me. Stop eating the ketchup crusties. I don't do it anymore. I've grown up. You know what I do, though? If I open a hot sauce bottle that has a bunch of hot sauce pulp around the rim and it's preventing it. Do you lick the rim?

Yeah, I don't only lick it. I tongue it out. I absolutely shove my tongue in there and swirl it around in a hurricane motion to get all the hot sauce pulp out. We made Ryan leave the room. Ryan got hella uncomfortable at the thought of you tugging an Arizona Slinger hot sauce bottle. That literally last night, it was Arizona Gunslinger too. You're absolutely correct. I know that's your favorite hot sauce.

I've hung out with you enough to know that it's your favorite hot sauce. What do you feel about artisanal ketchups? Kind of like ketchup leather. Like, do you know that weird fancy ketchup that people put on like stuff? What do you feel about that kind of stuff? I feel like that's dumb too.

I used to be wholly anti-fancy ketchup. I think that Heinz has made like the perfect ketchup. It's not overly spiced. It's like balance of salt and tomato and acid in that sweet, sweet corn syrup. But the thing that got me to change my mind, actually too, Sir Kensington's is a new condiment brand that makes incredible stuff.

Their mustards, their mayonnaise is absolutely incredible. But also Trader Joe's organic ketchup. I think they might honestly get it from Sir Kensington's because that's what Trader Joe's does. And for the record, I fully think this should be illegal. They just take like random foods from random factories and put them in their own bottles and they don't have to disclose where they're coming from. You know nothing about white labeling.

I'm so sorry. No, I think white labeling is a terribly nefarious practice. I think at least Costco is a little bit transparent about it. But like Trader Joe's, some of their stuff is just coming from like General Mills. Don't hate the player, hate the game, Josh. My problem with that is people think Trader Joe's is an organic grocery store even though it's not but people like this thing happens when you sell that type of brand like in and out too i've had so many people tell me like well in and out it's better for you than mcdonald's because it's all organic it's like no it's not way people

do not say that people do say that and there's like in and out's rule on produce which one there's ketchup on in and out burgers because there's ketchup and spread. So point me. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go there. Do not go there. That's like, okay. I hate when you do this. That's like saying, okay, that's literally like saying. No, like literally. That's like saying barbecue sauce is ketchup because it has a little bit of ketchup in it. No, I believe ketchup is technically a barbecue sauce. Oh my god. This is a real, I'm not even kidding.

I've been on record on Twitter saying this. I 100% believe ketchup is technically a barbecue sauce. If I give you a plate of baby back ribs and I slather them in ketchup and I'm like, enjoy your authentic barbecue spare ribs or whatever the hell I gave you you're gonna eat it and be like yeah it was so good no you're not no you're not you liar try me I dare you I will I will I will give you I will give you burnt ends and I will give you a vat of ketchup and be like go to town young man I will eat it with a smile on my face and say did this come from the barbecue belt?

Are these Memphis style ketchup ribs or Kansas City style ketchup ribs? Because that, Nicole, is barbecue sauce. No way. I don't agree with you on this at all. Do you like barbecue sauce on your burgers? Not unless, man, it's tough. Unless it's a Western burger with onion rings on it.

The Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburger, I do believe is one of the greatest inventions of all Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburger, I do believe, is one of the greatest inventions of all time. But I don't like when barbecue sauce, and I guess this is a point where I'm kind of disagreeing with my own stance that ketchup belongs in burgers. A lot of barbecue sauces, to me, are too sweet to hold up to burgers, and they change the entire palate.

For me, Carl's Jr.'s barbecue sauce, it's really similar to Stubb's, right? Where there's not a ton of sugar in it it's basically like a very like hickory spiced ketchup which i really enjoy and i think it goes well with the beef it adds a little bit of smoke a little bit of spice to it but it's not overly sweet but i guess ketchup is like the sweetest form of barbecue sauce there is and as we've talked about it is indeed barbecue sauce i'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one million percent what it's just tomato spices sugar and acid isn't that what barbecue sauce is i got two words for you liquid smoke no you don't need liquid smoke in a barbecue sauce like that that's supposed to do that's supposed to like create the essence of actually smoked meat stop it stop proving me wrong you're annoying but okay one thing i also believe about hamburgers

and this is true with a lot of foods is that we form our opinions on them very young right and we develop emotional attachments to things even if they don't 100% make sense so for me like i grew up eating the whopper the carl's Jr. Famous Star, McDonald's burgers, and those all come with ketchup on them by default. Yes. So for me, like ketchup, I associate with burgers from such a young age that now Fat Burger, right, which I don't particularly prefer, but Fat Burger puts mustard on their burgers by default.

And I cannot stand the taste of mustard on hamburgers because it tastes so foreign to me because I grew up eating just thousands of Whoppers covered in hot mayonnaise and ketchup. So I think a lot of this comes from like your earliest food memories. That's not true because I used to slather ketchup on everything from rice to pizza to hot dogs to anything you can imagine. I put ketchup on. But you grow up, your taste buds change. You get hair under your armpits and you grow up and then your taste buds are altered and you're okay with not putting ketchup on everything

so agree to disagree so uh debunked nicole i'm a i'm a 28 year old adult man this is true you're 28 yeah shockingly i thought you were 27 i'm like hey we're the same age but i forgot i guess you're a little bit older than me no that's why you look up to me as such a mentor figure yes i could i could keep a straight face but i i'm a 28 year old adult man and i am sitting doing what is my job currently in a cut off taco bell t-shirt at the sleeves that i bought for six dollars at target you had to take me clothing shopping to buy a pair of shoes what about any of that that was such a fun day but what a good lunch break that was I wish we could record that that was such a fun day it was like totally like

Julia Roberts and like pretty woman like you would come out in an outfit and I'd be like oh yeah and then you'd come out another like oh no and then you'd come on the and be like, oh no. And then you'd come on another and be like, oh, maybe. Oh, that's so fun. And I got a great pair of shoes. But my point is, none of this, thank you. None of this equates to me being able to actually grow up. So maybe it's not that ketchup belongs on hamburgers as a generality. Maybe the ketchup is a metaphor.

It's my Peter Pan syndrome for not wanting to grow out of a taste this could be the case and i'm i'm open to that peter pan syndrome how many times have i heard that statement geez louise you just date the wrong men nicole you just took me back to like every single ex i've ever dated that literally was like 14 years older than me but still went out with me for some odd reason because of peter pan syndrome and yes they actually had really weird food uh like weird like food anomalies too like they would like make sure that their food wouldn't touch and stuff oh yeah weirdos but yet yet you kept going back to them no i cut it off real quick i grew up josh because i don't put ketchup on my hamburgers

anymore i'm open up because even george moats right? Even George Motes said that he grew up eating ketchup on hamburgers until he had the original hamburger from Lewis's Lunch with that only has pickles and mustard on it. And then he realized that the essence of a hamburger should not be tainted by ketchup. And I've yet to have that experience. I need to have my formative coming of age experience as a 28 year old man, ironically, and go to the Mecca of hamburgers at Louie's lunch and taste that original hamburger to then see because I realized that I'm too biased. And I'm not qualified to say whether ketchup does or does not belong on a hamburger until I've had that experience of

eating the original and understanding where it's coming from. Josh, as the AOC of McDonald's land, I'm going to book us both a flight to Connecticut and we're going to go to the Mecca of hamburgers and go to town and grow up together arm in arm. Yo, I'm going to be your campaign manager. I'm going to embezzle so many funds. I can't wait. Nicole, 2028. Nicole, we've heard what we all have to say.

Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling around there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casseroles. First up, we got at, it's actually Evan. Ramen is just Cobb salad soup. The first time I read this, I said, this is a Cobb salad sentence. These are, this is word salad. I have no idea what's going on. And then I realized what they're talking about.

A Cobb salad is like, it's divested into its own individual parts, right? You look at a Cobb salad, it's got the little lump of ham, little lump of blue cheese, little lumps of tomatoes, lump of egg. You look at a bowl of ramen, it's got the same architectural makeup. You got the little lump of like ginger, the little lump of egg. I don't know if I can disagree with it. It's probably incredibly offensive to Japanese food culture to call ramen Cobb salad soup, but I'll allow it because it's kind of accurate. Okay just want someone to uh to make an edit of you just saying little lump over and over and over again little lump little lump little lump i agree with this because it totally made my brain do a do a 180 so thank you for that actually heaven all right we got at crisp ranger 2166 if you want a game changer for california burritos ask them to put red

enchilada sauce on the inside chris some games don't need to be changed i don't know i enjoy this do you do you like enchilada sauce outside the context of enchiladas uh it kind of i mean i've noticed that a lot of the times it's like kind of has like this weird bitterness yeah you know what i mean that can sometimes lend itself depending on like what's in the actual like burrito i feel like it would work well with like some shredded beef and some beans maybe a little bit of rice but like that's the only way i think it could work but if you're talking like a classic cali burrito which is like carne asada guac sour cream pico cheese and french fries no i don't know if i don't know if i'd want gelato

sauce i would love chile de arbol uh just which is typically what they're making when you go to otakaria and you get their you know red sauce uh just splash a ton of that all over the french fries and the french fries like soak up all the spice and that little bit of acid in the chili heat enchilada sauce it's like not my thing outside the context of actual enchiladas but i respect you for eating california burritos yeah i mean maybe not in california burrito but it could work there's potential there okay at pj underscore i like that two bangers orange juice plus milk why are you laughing i just love they start out their video with two bangers one orange juice plus milk like what orange juice plus milk obviously whole

equals delicious number two a jelly and cream cheese sandwich is the best jelly sandwich also works on a bagel this is amazing okay as a girl that would go to the ice cream truck and get a orange creamsicle this orange juice and milk makes total and complete sense to me but it has to be like that weird ass like tropicana stuff that is obviously from concentrate and then uh the jelly and cream cheese sandwich. I grew up eating jelly and cream cheese sandwiches because peanut butter wasn't always in my house. We would just have a lot of an excess of cream cheese for some reason. And that sounds delicious.

Literally sounds like something I would eat when I was a kid. So I think these are two pangers, two bangers, TJ. Two pangers. Banger. I also grew up eating jelly and cream cheese on toasted, like Sarah Lee crappy or Thomas's bagels, you know, like the grocery store stuff.

The ones that are really sweet. And so I absolutely love that. The orange juice and milk. What did the acid curdle the milk? Like I get, if you're using like, when you said Tropicana, I thought of Tampico,

you know, Tampico juice. Yeah. Tampico, Tampico. I think that's what I meant. Like legally can't be considered juice. Cause there's like 0.08% of juiceampico. You know Tampico juice? Yeah, Tampico, Tampico. I think that's what I meant. Legally, it can't be considered juice because there's like 0.08% of juice in there. It's just like orange, corn syrup, and citric acid, and a little bit of whatever flavors Panda Express

orange chicken. That would be delicious in milk because it would just be sweet and creamy and a little bit tangy, but actual orange juice, especially with pulp in it, that disgusts me down to my core, and I feel like it would curdle the milk. But you got one banger in there. I think there are two bangers, but that's just me. All right. At Sobo underscore, Bloody Marys are just booze soup. Yes. But I feel like you're implying negativity in that.

Whereas I think if you just rephrase that as like, Bloody Marys are booze soup, then that's great. I'd drink like a vodka clam chowder. Why not? Yeah, I'd drink like a vodka clam chowder why not yeah i'd drink vodka tomato soup did you just say vodka clam chowder yeah why not it's like um you know uh white russian it's like a milky delicious beverage think of it as a combination of like a white russian and a bloody mary but you're just taking a can of chunky uh clam chowder and you're just putting a shot of pop-off in there and you're shaking it up right in the can and then you

strain it and then you drink it i feel physically ill at the thought of that why did you say the word chunky why did you say pop-off why did you say all of these trigger words for me that literally i cannot wrap my head around oh my god okay uh i can't i can't deal with what you just said but sobo i agree with what you said and i agree with josh you got to change your infliction if there's an exclamation point at the end of this sentence i agree with you do you like bloody marys oh my god i love bloody marys but they give me really bad acid reflux but i just take a nexium as you say if you're if you're drinking a bloody mary like i would never drink a bloody mary unless i had nothing to do like it's the only context i'm like at brunch uh which is

very rare that i even do because i like um drinking and eating late at night so i just wake up feeling full and ashamed but if i'm drinking like bloody marys at lunch or at brunch i'm totally down it's got to be like i've had a lot of bad bloody marys though that literally tastes like a can of prego tomato sauce that have been mixed with vodka but if it is like a really well spiced and seasoned bloody mary there's almost nothing betty i love bloody mary's very very much but i steal my dad's nexium so you know you you are a rebel stealing drugs from your dad to deal with heartburn it's just heartburn medication it's like we're getting we're getting old nicole we're getting old josh i know i'm 27 i feel ancient it doesn't help that we have young

live 20 year old trevor just sending we'll like ask trevor a question or we'll be like hey trevor like this is the thing we need for our jobs and then he'll just send like a meme as a response that's just like i don't know ross from friends holding a gun that says like you got it dude and it's like what what the hell does that mean just say like sure thing we'll do oh i really love trevor okay next up uncle underscore evan 12 says raisin in a house salad with blue cheese dressing are amazing the best part stop laughing i know the grammar is bad the best part of the salad is at the end when there's just raisins soaking in the blue cheese okay no no no i don't know nicole i i've i've i think i could see this because think about like blue cheese stuffed dates those are things do you like that

i love it and i kind of make my own at home with feta cheese and parsley. Oh, that does sound good. But why not raisins and blue cheese? I think it's a thought. Again, the chunkiness of the blue cheese dressing does not lend itself to proper soaking ability. If it was like a nice thin citronette or like, you know, a buttermilk ranch, I can imagine imagine that but blue cheese dressing just doesn't do it for me yeah there's no soaking because like if i make a salad with raisins in it i sometimes don't like how dehydrated they are so i'll actually just like soak the raisins in sometimes i'll do like a little bit of port and vinegar or like you know so even just warm water

to get them kind of hydrated and plump. Blue cheese is too thick to do that. So you're essentially just making like very chewy, sweet blue cheese. My favorite part about this opinion, though, is that they're too ashamed to just eat the raisins and blue cheese. So they have to go through the entire process of making a house salad just to eat the salad off of it to be left with the raisins soaking in blue cheese. Yeah, again, I have no issue with raisins and blue cheese i think it's the context of the salad and your your ability to soak it in the blue cheese dressing it just doesn't make sense for me

i i i should try it myself i love uh at the soup plantation which is a terrible name for a restaurant and they well they're now bankrupt but i think they were going to change it um but anyways they have a thing called jones broccoli madness that's just like mayonnaise broccoli walnuts and raisins and so i get the raisins soaking in a mayonnaise dressing and i really enjoy that do you put raisins in your potato salad no i would never i would never i would never okay this next one's good is this me yeah let's go let's fight the blue cat ketchup is an abomination it's the worst thing to happen to food in recent memory. I'm convinced everyone is just pretending to like it in an elaborate prank of some sort.

Okay, one, the blue cat. The world is not trying to prank specifically you by eating millions of gallons of ketchup every year. Get over yourself. Two, recent memory. You know what I'm talking about? Recent memory ketchup literally dates back to like, you know, BC, China, where it was made as a condiment using fermented fish. And then that traveled to England where they, you know, kept the fermented fish, but they

would add mushrooms and shallots to it. And tomato ketchup, you know, kept that lineage going in America back to the 1850s. So you want to talk about recent memory? Get the heck out of here, Blue Cat. Ketchup is ancient. It is delicious. And it deserves your respect. I still respect you.

I feel like when you were a kid, someone held you down and poured ketchup in your mouth until you threw up. And that's probably why you don't like ketchup, the Blue Cat. So it's okay. We can talk about it in therapy. It's going to be fine. You're so empathetic. Are you an empath?

Do you read auras? I do. it's going to be fine. You're so empathetic. Are you an empath? Do you read auras? I do. And your aura is a very, very, your aura right now to me is reading like, like strong, like Baja Blast Blue Dream. It's honestly one of my favorite colors. I had a roommate in college whose girlfriend was a self-identified empath. And there was once where I was like visibly upset at something and I was like having a fight with one of my roommates. And she just looks at me and goes, I can read auras in your aura right now. It's super red. And I was like, are you sure you don't just see the very human cues that I'm visibly upset?

Anyways, fun times. Okay. Most dazzling. Most dazzling says, I will smash a toasted bagel with cream cheese and sriracha. Try it. It slaps. You're welcome. This is freaking amazing. I do this too. I guess there's a lot with cream cheese and sriracha. Try it. It slaps. You're welcome. This is freaking amazing.

I do this too. I guess there's a lot of cream cheese content out there. Really respect it. When I was in high school, we would do this thing where we take a buttered bagel and then you would put cream cheese on it and then you'd put hot Cheetos on it. So this is basically the same thing minus the extra carbs of the hot Cheetos. So I love this very much. Totally agree.

I also, I want to read some sort of like historiography of the Flamin' Hot Cheetos in the cream cheese bagel as it relates to Southern California public schools. Because that was a thing that like got around everywhere. Everywhere. So good. And it's delicious. Did you have nutrition in your school?

It was like a 15 minute break where you would like eat snacks. Yeah, you used to call it like recess. And then just turned it they just started calling it nutrition yeah they like took it from recess to nutrition i was like this is so weird but give me that butter bagel nutrition time time to eat flaming hot cheetos and green cheese get your nutrition in children so funny okay i this one. This one I'm excited about. At Maddie underscore burner. Milk and iced tea is great. Milk and hot tea, great. And bubble tea, great. And tea lattes, great.

How come every time I order it in iced tea, I get looked at like a serial killer? I have started just adding milk or almond milk to iced tea. We have those like, what is it? Golden Peak or something iced teas in the office. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the unsweetened one. And I just started adding Splenda and almond milk to it

and shaking it. It is really freaking good. I don't know why more people don't drink milked iced tea. Maddie Berner, I'm 100% on your side. We can overcome this together. I'm okay with milk and iced tea. I guess it's because I'm Persian and I was raised drinking tea just straight up

that this is kind of weird for me i don't know i i don't know iced tea is also so weird for me too like as a persian woman i just like hot scalding hot tea and then i take a cube of sugar and then i put my cube of sugar in the tea to moisten it and then i put the sugar cube in my mouth and i hold it in the side of my mouth and then i'd sip my tea and the sugar cube dissolves. So, yeah. That's a heck of an effort. Yeah, that's how I drink tea in the mornings. Fun factoid. But yeah. Does Persian tea typically not have any dairy in it? No, never, never, never, never. Just straight up tea leaves and sugar. My grandma's, you know, South African, so she has all this like British kind of mannerisms. So I grew up drinking just like the worst, crappiest English breakfast tea

with just like a ton of milk and sugar in it. So I was hot tea with milk. Never. But I do like it a little. I enjoy it sometimes, but I always love OG regular just tea leaves and water and a little bit of sugar. Third underscore degreed it's gonna sound crazy and kind of weird but strawberry jello powder sprinkled on microwave popcorn is oddly satisfying okay this sounds good in theory but the sticky fingers i just can't wrap my head around it's not worth it i i get the idea of taking like a strawberry flavored powder and sprinkling that on microwave popcorn but the fact that jello powder has a bunch of like, you know,

active gelatin in it that you'd be eating raw makes me feel a little bit sick inside. But if you took another fruit powder, like have you had a Li Hing Mui? Of course I've had Li Hing Mui. It's one of my favorite, uh, like powders ever to use. It's a salted plum powder,

correct? I think it's, I think it might be dehydrated plum skins or something. I think it has a little bit of salt content and it's mainly salted plum powder correct i think it i think it might be dehydrated plum skins or something i think it has a little bit of salt content and it's yeah it's mainly found in hawaii right yeah but putting that on popcorn is really delicious it's got this like super funky almost kind of tannic but sweet and fruity quality to it so i get that on popcorn but the jello powder might be a bridge too far for me i i love lihing powder wow you just like really opened a memory deep in the recesses of my brain when i first started cooking professionally i worked at a chocolate store

and we had the most massive beautiful spice cabinet ever categorized with the weirdest stuff i'd never seen before in my life and then i tried the lihing powder i was like i'm hooked so now i'm gonna go buy some lihing powder so thank you josh. Well, uh, what do we got at dust in your eyes? Liquid water enhancers are made to be overused, not underused. Subtly flavored water is for quitters. If your water isn't mixed with berry blast Mio to the same hue, tint and saturation as Windex, are you even living? I feel like this is a very, very niche opinion that is made exactly for me, especially when I was in college. I would always have at least like four flavors of crystal light. And Mio was like pretty new at the time, but I got the green apple flavor.

And the problem with Mio is you have to add so much because it's liquid, like the powder is concentrated of a crystal light. So with Mio, I would have to use like a half a bottle of Mio, which is like $6 to create like one half gallon of flavored water making it hardly worth it but i completely agree like i don't want your water essence i don't want that like gatorade propel like there's a little hint of melon in here no no no i want just blast me with berry in the face i agree with you dustin uh i never got into this phase and it's probably because my mom never let me have snacks in the house. So I can't say anything about it because I don't know anything about it. And I'm

sorry, Dustin. I don't know. So I'm just going to refer to Josh and he says that I need to saturate it fully, just like you said. So I guess I'm on your team. Begrudgingly, I'm on your team. We got to get on the crystal light train in the office. It's so good. Oh, they should put crystal light on the popcorn. that's smart and it's like and it's low calorie yeah there you go see problem solving and on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog is the sandwich we've got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions are like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythical chef or and handy zada with the hashtag opinion casserole and for more mythical kitchen check

us out on youtube we launch new videos every week and of course if you want to share pics of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen we'll see you next time let's get some burgers let's do it let's do it i love yeah i love to eat hamburger with my american friends yeah yeah it's good yeah oh yeah that's hamburger is good with ketchup it's very american with ketchup and then you suck out the ketchup with your other finger yeah but why aren't the burgers from hamburg i'm gonna stop recording now yeah we should probably stop this you