A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - French Fries vs. Onion Rings

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

It's the fight of the finger foods. In this side dish skirmish, we're finding out once and for all which is better, french fries or onion rings? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. It's the fight of the finger foods. In this side dish skirmish, we're finding out once and for all which is better, French fries or onion rings. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today, we are debating which is better, French fries or onion rings. Classic. Nicole, what do you think?

Onion rings. French fries. Trash. Onion rings are trash. You're trash. You are a bad person for believing that onion rings are better. Your moral character is beneath mine for your simple food preferences because that is how these debates go. Okay, we're debating which is better, okay? Which is a better finger food, and it's 100% onion rings.

How come? They taste better than a french fry. Because we need to go into the idea of utility, right? Yes. Like, what are we talking about? Are you talking about onion rings as a side for a sandwich? french fry you think just taste because we need to go into the idea of utility right yes like what are we talking about are you talking about what defines better as a side for a sandwich are we talking about onion rings as a standalone food you got the late night munchies you find a box of those onion rings in the freezer versus like a thing of or i'd a crinkle cut french fries which

is better what is the main utility of fries or onion rings i argue it is simply as a side to a sandwich which does include hot dogs and hamburgers oh don't hamburgers i don't know why i pronounce it ham dogs it's like i say library i started saying library ironically oh my god and then now it just turned into me sounding like an idiot i also uh exclusively say wednesday oh my gosh you're one of those? Yeah, just to be an A-hole. You are,

like, remember how you said that you're like the seventh grader? Yes. That's literally still you. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Ryan's gonna cut this out of the edit, but I don't care. Like, in the ninth grade, to troll my teacher,

I just, I read the Satanic Bible just openly in class just to have it because I was just that like weird little antagonistic 14-year-old who was just like,

I don't get enough attention in the home. Let's find it from you, stranger. I think Satan is in French fries. I think the soul of Satan is in French fries. No, I think French fries are delicious. I love French fries. If I see a French fry, I'll eat it. McDonald's French fries, sign me up.

Shoestring, steak fries, whatever French fry I have, I love. But onion rings are better. There's so much care that goes into an onion ring. And can you agree with me that onions might be one of the most important food ingredients ever to be invented? We've talked about the invention of the onion. When Thomas J. Onion invented onions, he did. They're so important. Onions are the cornerstone of flavor when it comes to any sort of, a majority of savory dishes. That's the thing. I absolutely love onions.

I mean, potatoes too, right? Like they're important in so many cultures and all that. But to me, is an onion ring even close to the best way to prepare or fry an onion? I say it is not. It is not in the top five, one, side dishes for any sandwich. But two, it's not in the top five ways to like fry an onion. You could take any other shape of an onion. You do like the onion petals, right?

Where like, you know, you cut it into, you know, the kind of thick strips. Sure. You could do just straight like onion chips. You could do frizzled onions. You could do a bloomin' onion. And every single one of those is better than the onion ring. Because when you bite into an onion ring and then you just slurp out the onion noodle are you kidding me that's the best part whenever you like the wet onion slurp yeah whenever you have like you're looking like an

onion walrus and then you have just a beautiful ring of toasted fried goodness to munch on like afterwards if that's what you want to know okay so one i have seen you just eat straight naked fried batter often in the kitchen you have it that's you you that's know. Okay, so one, I have seen you just eat straight naked fried batter often in the kitchen. No, you haven't. That's you. That's you looking into it. We were both doing that. You were looking into a mirror, Josh.

That's you looking into a mirror. The ultimate narcissist move. I've seen you do this, Josh. That was you. No, we were making like a, it was when we did the corn dog hush puppy thing. I ate one bite. You ate a whole entire hot dog corn casing. Yeah, this is true.

I ate probably about a pound of just straight fried cornmeal batter. I had like a bite of it. Which, this is actually going to an important place because I agree that fried batter is absolutely delicious. It is. But the onion inside of it, just getting this wet onion noodle slurp, it is a food that is not ergonomically designed for people to eat. It's a farce. It's something that looks good. It's not ergonomic?

No, a ring where you get a wet onion. It's a circle that you bite and then you have a crescent moon. With or without onion, who cares? Start with a crescent moon. Start with a crescent moon shape. I would have so much more respect for onion rings if they were just cut in half before frying. Josh, you like Johnny Rockets? Oh my God, you know I love Johnny Rockets.

What did you get from Johnny Rockets when you were a youth? I got whatever their barbecue burger is. My brother actually worked at Johnny Rockets. Oh really? Yeah, he wore the whole white get up with the paper hat. You know my brother. You can imagine him. He had hair down to his butt too.

He had long hair? Oh yeah, John had hair down to his butt, but he looked exactly like me. You know, kind of a pudgy teen. I have to show you pictures of John. It was the grossest hair. he used to come up to me and he would whip me with his gross hair and it was like coarse it was like you know i i can say this is like it's the coarse jewish hair you know and when it's long because he was like a metal head and it grew long and so was it straight literally down to his butt yeah it wasn't straight it was like wavy oh my god it was totally creepy it just tucked up in a johnny rocket's all white you know 1950s style okay so yeah i i actually used to get the onion rings at johnny rocket's and i used to dip them in warm barbecue sauce is that i think that is

the best onion ring dip yeah but that said my tastes have evolved and changed it took me a long time because i wanted to be an onion ring person this is dead true okay when i was a kid i thought onion rings were like the adult choice like the sophisticated man and i use man specifically because i was a small boy looking for role models and i was like the sophisticated man orders onion rings that is a step above french fries but now that i realize you know part of masculinity when you're growing up is denying yourself pleasure right it's drinking black coffee and spicy unless you're a hedonist yeah exactly exactly but you know, part of masculinity when you're growing up is denying yourself pleasure, right? It's drinking black coffee and spicy foods. Unless you're a hedonist. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

But, you know, I think part of, you know, being raised in a masculine household is to believe that denying yourself pleasure is part of it. And I've learned to lean into the simple pleasure of French fries over onion rings. I do agree that it's simple. I just, there's something about the care that goes into making an onion ring. I just, there's something about the care that goes into making an onion ring. You know, the cutting of the onion, the punching out of the onion rings, and then dipping it in flour, dipping it in batter, frying it to perfection. I just think there's so much care and love that goes into an onion ring that it doesn't even compare to a French fry, which is why it's better.

I think putting effort into things makes things better. That's how I operate. I know you do because we got into a similar debate on does ketchup belong on hamburgers. Yeah. Because you were talking about. This is the same exact conversation. And I had no idea this was going to go this way. But it kind of is true because I agree with you that the best onion ring, I don't know

what if it'll, it won't trump the best French fry, but the best onion ring to me will trump a lot of French fries. Because like you said, there's a lot of care that goes into the process. You know, making a wet batter and having that not only fry perfectly crispily, but having it stay perfectly crispy after it's like been sitting in a window and getting to your table and all that. It's a really difficult process. It takes a lot of care. But most people screw it up like royally, really badly. Most people do not know how to make onion rings. And a lot of places don't do a wet batter where they'll just do a breadcrumb crust or whatever. And then when you're cooking

breadcrumbs as opposed to a wet batter, the onion on the inside doesn't have enough time to steam. Yeah, and it gets raw and weird. Yeah, because breadcrumbs are already cooked. So when you fry them, again, they brown super quickly and you're not frying it in the appropriate temperature oil because you're in a big mass market restaurant. So most onion rings you get, you get this raw, sweaty onion just pulling out of this half crescent moon shape after you bite into it, and they're not good. And so for me, French fries, they are the safer populist choice. I think French fries, I mean, they've dominated the entire world for a reason.

I'm not saying that the popular opinion is the only correct opinion, but I am saying that it can give you a good indication of what things are and aren't good. Do you think French fries are idiot-proof? Is that what you're trying to say? I do believe that French fries are idiot-proof. I've had bad French fries, but the fact that most places are getting their French fries frozen in a bag from factories. Same with onion rings, honestly.

That is true. Yeah. But what, okay, if you go frozen bag of fries versus frozen bag of onion rings, which is better? Frozen bag of onion rings because they did all the, they did all the tough stuff for you.

But you said onion rings are made with like care and love. Yeah, and the factory. You think the machines are loving on these onion rings? No. Machines can feel love.

They're going to, at least in the next 17 years. I'll say, you're just trying to hedge right now because you know that they're listening. We have like a microphone and a laptop and like a big sound box in front of us. One of these is going to become sentient in the next decade

and try and kill us while we're recording. Yeah, 100%. You know what I saw the other day? I saw a Postmates machine going to pick up a food from a restaurant. What? Yeah, I saw one. It was crazy.

Wait, what do you mean? It was a little cart. It looked like WALL-E. And it was like, beep, beep, beep, beep. What? Yeah, I saw one. It was crazy. Wait, what do you mean? It was a little cart. It looked like WALL-E. And it was like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Are you serious? Who did it? Is it like the robot from, was it Rocky III? I feel like Ryan would know this question.

It's the robot from WALL-E, pretty much. It had two eyes. It was crazy. In one of the Rockies, Rocky has a robot. Oh, I don't remember that song. In his home, because that was a big trope in like 80s and early 90s movies where they're like yo in the very near future it is rocky for you're right you're right because that dichotomy of ivan drago like was that rocky for

that's my favorite yeah it was like rocky's gotten soft now he has a robot butler oh i see that leads into his training montage i forgot that part wow that is my favorite rocky movie i you know the training montage is my favorite when he's like in the Serbian like forest like plowing stuff. He has the KTV agents like watching him

like driving around and he's like running through trying to lose him. Rocky IV is truly one of the greatest sports movies of all time. I agree and I don't care about sports

but I love it. If he dies, he dies. That was a fantastic movie. But yeah, I saw Little Robot and he just put food in the thing and then everyone

was like fascinated. Everyone was like taking videos and stuff and they're like the future is now and I'm like yeah, I saw a little robot and he just put food in the thing. And then everyone was like fascinated. Everyone was like taking videos and stuff. And they're like, the future is now. And I'm like, yeah, he's going to feel love in like three weeks. But there was a guy following him to make sure that he didn't run over any trees, but he ran over a tree anyways. No, the guy following him had a gun in case the robot went rogue and tried to kill the people at Tender Greens.

That's what happens. That's actually a good point. Yeah, he needs like an EMP device. I've seen the Matrix revelation What's an EMP device? An EMP device An electromagnetic pulse That you stick into any machine

And it'll immediately shut down I think it's only in movies I tried googling this once They use it in Fast and the Furious 2 When Paul Walker is trying to like drive away And there's like a police helicopter And it shoots an EMP into the car And it shuts down

And it's like you got the mainframe Okay Yeah Anyways so the point about French fries, they're not idiot proof. Okay, no. But I think the average French fry, to me, trumps the average onion ring. And that is important when you're making decisions. Just from a utilitarian stance of like, what is going to bring me the most pleasure when

I say these words? That's not to say there aren't outliers. And I don't like, hate, hate onion rings. I'm happy to eat anything fried and dipped in sauce. Yeah, sure. That's not to say there aren't outliers. And I don't like hate, hate onion rings. I'm happy to eat anything fried and dipped in sauce. I am going to enjoy it. I love onions. I just like the flavor. I think the flavor of onions is more dynamic

and more versatile than the flavor of a potato. I'd agree with that. But to me, French fries aren't about the actual flavor of the potato. There's actually a writer named John Birdsall who I am a huge fan of. And he wrote this entire kind of treatise on what shape of French fries is the potato. There's actually a writer named John Birdsell, who I am a huge fan of. And he wrote this entire kind of treatise on what, on what shape of French fries is the best. And my personal taste, I believe the exact middle ground between a shoestring and a steak fry is the best.

That way you can get like a nice Wendy's fry is the perfect shape to me. Like it's sturdy enough to stand up to dips. It's just thick enough to still have some of that silky smooth potato pulp in the middle, but also crispy enough on the outside to get you that like dichotomous texture that's what i believe i do think okay sorry i was i was explaining sorry i always interrupt you but john birdsall he wrote this whole thing about shoestring fries and how potatoes are a food of austerity right about how like potatoes are you look at the irish potato famine right it's like the only food that you know the irish were basically allowed to keep, not all of their actual cash crops. Like a potato is this very bland food

that should remind you of hard, tough times. And a French fry is an escapist route out of that to try and add so much fat and oil and texture and salt and sauce that you forget you're even eating a potato. And I think there's something beautiful about that. It is a blank canvas on which to apply your entire hopes and dreams and aspirations Nicole that is why I love french fries they're a food of promise I don't think it's that deep you know you like these soliloquies are

tiresome for me great use of soliloquy thank you Josh has been complimenting my use of uses of words you said eponymous the other day. I know. I love that word. Did you forget I was an English major before all of this? We were both like functioning members of academia-ish before. Yeah, I was planning to be an English professor. Good thing I'm not because I would be a terrible teacher. Imagine this. Onion rings on top of a burger.

Sign me up. You ever had a Western burger? True, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about them as a side dish. Just think about it, hater. I love it. I love it. I love that we've talked about the texture of sauce soaking into deep fried things and

how that to me is the most beautiful thing in the world. The Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburger to me is one of the all-time great fast food items, right? You get the bacon, they have this really kind of peppery spicy barbecue sauce and it soaks into the onion rings and you get just that little bit of sweaty onion with the beef. That's fine. I agree that onion rings should be an ingredient. I still think that maybe like the frazzled onions or the onion petals or onion chips would be better than rings themselves. We're not putting fried onions as an ingredient on trial here. We're putting the onion ring as a

standalone dish on trial. But Josh, you can wear onion rings like bangles. Okay, that's fun. That's just a good time for everybody. Imagine, you can just put it on and then you just go... I would put onion rings on my fingers like they were big rings. Yeah, like you were a pimp daddy. Like I was a pimp daddy. I was doing the pimp daddy onion ring. Fries! Fries!

You can shove it between your knuckles like you're Wolverine. So both are interactive foods. That's a wash. But what can you do with fried zucchini nuggets from Carl's Jr. nothing nothing nothing

throw them in the garbage throw them in the garbage because fried zucchini nuggets sound like garbage have you never had the fried zucchini nuggets from Carl's Jr. have you had fried zucchini nuggets

like in general like I've had I've had zucchini fries they're good I like a good zucchini fry it's like mushy you know what actually my favorite burger side dish is hold on all of los angeles i don't think you're gonna get it

unless we've talked about it before i don't think i don't think we're gonna get it but let me guess it's it's it can be anything yeah it can be anything i guess what are you gonna say what is this leading up to i don't know i'm there's like so much pressure your favorite burr is this for a side it's from a restaurant in la it is a side that comes with a burger i don't know i don't think you're gonna get it okay hold on let me guess uh uh uh is it is it uh is it beer battered uh is it pretzel bites no but i do like the idea of just eating more bread along with your bread sandwich no actually at uh belcampo fast Fast Burger, which we're both huge Belcampo Burger fans. I love Belcampo. But they started their whole fast food burger outlet

to try and compete with Shake Shack. Sure. Before Shake Shack was in LA. Yeah. And they make one of the best fast food style hamburgers I have ever had. They use dry aged steak trimmings and they're only like $5, $6 hamburgers.

So good. But these are really quality product and one of their sides that they have, they have fries, they have sweet potato fries, but they just have like deep fried broccolini they take broccolini and just drop it in the fryer and then they just like pull it out and just dress it in some sort of quick lemon vinaigrette and to me it's the perfect side because like i love fries we've talked about the idea of you know cold ketchup on hot fry juxtaposed against a burger and how that is one of the most sublime food experiences absolutely you can have and i agree

with that you get especially a burger that has like pickles and produce and sauce and all this. And then the fry is almost like this palate cleanser afterwards. But I think onion rings could maybe fall in that same category. I think they do fall in that category. They're somewhat plain and starchy. I don't think they're plain. I would not use plain to describe an onion ring. What flavors do you get?

Onion-y. Other than plain. You just get onion. Onion-y. There's already onions in the burger. Onion isn't plain. No. do you get other than plain? You just get onion. Onion-y. There's already onions in the burger. Onion isn't plain. No, onions as close to plain. That's false.

Now I'm gonna shoot myself in the foot because onion's literally an aromatic for a reason. It's so aromatic. That's fair. Yo, have you ever had a potato ring?

No, but that would be a great meeting of the minds. That would be a great meeting of the minds. They have, I think they had them at Disneyland when I was a kid. It's just the same thing.

They take a potato and then I think it's probably done in a factory where it's like piped into a circle. But they take a potato, and they like pipe it into a circle, and then they freeze it, and they batter it and fry it. That sounds good. You just get fried potato rings. I would much rather have potato rings with a little bit of onion.

Why do you always make me laugh when you do that? Some people call it a bling blade. Some folk call it a sling blade. Some folk call it a kiter blade. You always make me laugh so hard when you do the sling blade Every time we do that, there is one person in the comments that goes, huh, sling blade. And no one else.

But every time I say potato, I just think of got any biscuits? Oh, we got french fries. And french potato. Got was like, got any biscuits? Oh, we got french fries. And fried potato. Got any mustard? Someone, some fan drew a portrait of Link. Did I show this to you? It looked exactly like

Sling Blade. You have to show it to me. I think I only sent it to Trevor. Oh my god, I'm sweating. All I have to show it to me oh my god i said it to trevor oh my god i'm sweating um all i have to say is that french fries are just basic i think a good onion ring trumps a good fry any day what is even the definition of a good fry there's just so what is the definition okay apparently for you it's halfway between a steak and a shoestring right so there are some i think one every fry is different Every fry has its own utility. I respect people who like shoestring fries.

I'm not the biggest fan. Father's Office, they do shoestring fries. It's aight. It's aight. To me, it's never been my favorite thing. I love a good, I mean, Arby's curly fries to me are fantastic. Okay, I really like curly fries. Right, curly fries are so good.

But we're not talking about- You just like shapes. I love shapes. You just like shapes. You like different shaped foods. I love shapes. You're a sucker for the marketing. I like shapes.

You even love, we've talked about this, you love the crinkle cut carrots that come in Thai different shaped foods. I love shapes. You're a sucker for the marketing. I like shapes. We've talked about this. You love the crinkle cut carrots that come in Thai curries and I hate them. I do. It's because they use a special knife that has a crinkle cut edge on it. It's important to me. The little bit of effort that goes into things I really notice and I really appreciate because I'm a big fan of the little things because I think they matter a lot. really appreciate because I'm a big fan of the little things because I think they matter a lot. So whenever I see someone going the extra mile, it makes me feel like they understand me. So the crinkle cut carrots make me feel understood, man. Leave me alone. That's interesting. Okay. I believe

that there are two different types of people, people who go to restaurants and eat food because they want to feel important and taken care of. And people who go to restaurants and eat food because they want to feel important and taken care of, and people who go to restaurants and eat food because they want to feel like they're in service of a greater art form. And I think this can even, I'm serious. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm dead serious. I think it's typically in an older generation, especially, they get madder at servers who don't refill their water faster because they're like, you're here to serve me. Whereas I'm the opposite i grew up like when i started going to you know restaurants

in la like with my older brother when i was like 19 20 years old you know having like a fake id and we couldn't really afford it but we still did it because it was all cool we saw these places on food network yeah right like you'd sit in these uncomfortable long wooden shared tables just rubbing elbows next to people next to you know other people that were eating strangers and like your server would always be like some hot would-be actor who like didn't care about your experience yeah and to me like i always really liked that and so i think you like the idea of someone like going the extra mile to make you feel important and wanted and cared for absolutely onion rings absolutely fill into that category i I agree. Someone took all these extra steps where I'm just like, I want the

best tasting potato to offset the best tasting burger that I can possibly have. Like, I want the utility of the potato whereas you, you know, you want the extra frills and they are important and I agree. Yeah, they're important to me and I think to this day, I would rather

if I was presented one onion ring and one french fry, I would eat an onion ring. Well, how big is the onion ring? Because I want to know how much food I'm getting. You know that for every onion ring, it's equal to seven french fries. That's just a good conversion if you're eating one of things. I would also go for the onion ring because I'm probably hungry. And it's probably just bigger than the one single french fry so i agree with the one-to-one

comparison yeah so okay what if it's one onion ring and seven french fries i'm going seven french fries and i'm pinching them together like a claw you know the way i do it swiping them in ketchup i'm actually going to use it as a spoon to pick up as much ketchup as possible yeah put it in my face but do you think the crunch of an onion ring is like nothing else for me honestly it's like anything else it's like anything else that's covered in that batter it can be any vegetable like it's round it's circular there's a hole in the middle and you can use it as a monocle interactive like well you could use onion rings as a little carnival game where you throw the rings around the bottles. Yeah.

You never did that? Like, okay. So me and my friends. Nicole, you and I just want different things out of life. Yeah. So when we would go to Johnny Rockets, we were ruckus. Like, we were bad kids. And, like, we would just, like, get onion rings, like, three, like, baskets of them. And, like, one of us get onion rings like like three like baskets of them and like one of

us would hold our finger like this and we would try to put the onion ring on the finger like because i never got the most like didn't have to pay i can't argue with that i don't have friends i never had that experience i'm eating fries alone at carl's junior onion rings hold a really special place in my heart because I love French fries. Don't get me wrong. They're delicious. I would eat a French fry right now, but onion rings are special,

and I appreciate the love and care that goes into an onion ring. So I think me and you disagree. You know who I blame for my dislike of onion rings? Who? Mainstream media. Screw the media. Screw the MSM.

Fake news. I'm dead serious. I have had two very formative and disappointing onion ring experiences that were thanks to the Food Network. Tell us. So I think you and I have talked about this idea before on here that in the Instagram ruining food episode, when we were talking about the idea that growing up when you saw food on the Food Network or represented on TV, a BuzzFeed show, whatever, you were like, that must be the best food ever because otherwise why would it be on the tv yeah and there was a place called fat cats that was on i think morrow bay somewhere along the central coast and i used to like me my dad used to do

road trips up there because it's like a really cheap vacation just hop in the car and drive up four hours and this place had the biggest onion rings on the central coast wow what a claim to make they managed to get the biggest onions on the entire Central Coast. Wow. That's right. That's including Templeton and Buellton and Solvang and Paso Robles and Arroyo Grande. No, Fat Cat's had the biggest. Anyways, we went there and there were just these giant, soggy, raw onion rings.

And I was so disappointed. So that was my first taste of disappointment. How old were you? I was probably 12 years old at that time. And then later, six years later when I was 18, Akasha in Culver City. Okay, I've had their onion rings there. They're fine onion rings.

And Akasha's like a good restaurant and Akasha Richmond is a great chef. But anyways, it was on the best thing I ever ate on Food Network. Oh, really? And so I saw that and I was like, well, if you're a professional chef and this is the best thing you've ever ate this must be a transcendently good onion ring maybe i don't understand onion rings and this can make me and i went there and i got it and i was like yep that's

a normal onion ring it's not normal it's a little bit isn't it like corn flour rice flour fried yeah but it's you know it's it's a it's a perfectly fine onion ring and that's all it's supposed to be i'd rather have a johnny rocket's onion than a fancy akasha one yeah man honestly it's, you know, it's a perfectly fine onion ring and that's all it's supposed to be. I'd rather have a Johnny Rockets onion ring than a fancy Akasha one. Yeah, man. I'm a purist. It's a food of the people. What is?

The fancy onion rings. Didn't you say French fries are the food of the people? I said it's a food of the people. I said onion rings are not supposed to be this like fancy thing. Don't you come in here with your big fancy words. I had two onion ring experiences that really tainted. So we're always coming into these arguments with our own biases.

Josh, do you know how many gross french fries I've had in my life? So many. From where? What's the grossest? Every where. Yeah, I had one of those french fries yesterday. Yeah, gross, soggy, sad french fries. Like from drive-thrus. God, disgusting.

Frickin, I don't know restaurants in my own house my mom my mom tries to make french fries big mistake my mom does not know how to fry a french fry for me like it's like you know when you're like seven and you're like mom made french fries and she puts like turmeric in them like to make them yellow i think you and i had different childhoods sorry but it's just it's just I've had a lot of crappy french fry experiences too. Like you're not alone in this. You know, I've had bad experiences too. Life isn't all sunshines and rainbows for Nicole Hendy's audit.

I actually do have a very distinct memory of my mom trying to fry french fries and it went like really horribly wrong. And she was not a cook. She couldn't. No, my mom was not a cook, and she just filled a pot with oil and tried slicing potatoes straight in there, and then the oil bubbled over, and then everyone freaked out,

and then we ate hamburger helper for dinner. So I get that. French fries are a pain point for many people. Yeah, frying is scary for people, but you can always oven bake a fry. I guess I would probably recommend if someone were to cook French fries or onion rings from scratch at home.

Air fryer. Well, that. But I would say, which one would you recommend if someone were to cook French fries or onion rings from scratch at home. Air fryer. Well, that, that. But I would say like, which one would you recommend people cook at home? Like what's easier to do? You know the answer. It's onion rings, right? Onion rings are easier than French fries? I think to make them good.

Oh, cause you want people double frying? Yeah. If you, if someone were to just say like, I'm going to make French fries. I mean, I believe in the single fry French fry method. Me too. You know, that yields a very good French fry. Yeah, yeah, I did it. Maybe I just deep fry so much that I think it's easy.

Like, onion rings are an easy method. No, onion rings are complex. We just, I talked about that at the top of the show. If you do a wet batter, it is. But if you do like a panko, like a... Well, whatever. A wet, dry, wet. I think people think onion rings are intimidating,

which is why they'll get them at restaurants. That makes sense. But French fries, they'll do at home because it's just a potato. You see what I'm saying? I think it does make sense. Yeah. You're just too much of a chef. You need to dial it back a little bit.

Yeah, I've lost touch with my roots. You need to be every man. I need to go back to that seven-year-old me. Yeah, whoever he is. Where he at? I ate him one. Oh, I was talking about the best french fry experience. Oh, your best french fry.

The best french fry experience that I've ever had like there are so many different levels of french fries and i love fast food french fries except in and out they in and out fries are fine people gotta get i love you gotta get them uh well done everyone says that in and out fries there's like you gotta get them well done you gotta get them fry like christine madrano of the mythical family we went to in and out to shoot uh the fancy Fast Food episode and she was like hyping up the idea of fry light. She was like, In-N-Out fries, they're never going to be crispy. Even if you get them well done, they're just burnt. She's like, I like to just go fry light and then it's just like eating a warm bowl of soft potatoes. And I was like, you know what? I respect the logic.

And then she got it and there was like, you know when you fry a potato and they at least get some sort of skin on it? You know, so it's not just a wet potato yeah this didn't even it was not even fried long enough to get that this is straight up a bowl of just like oil covered barely fried potatoes and then she got it animal style too so there's just mayonnaise on these wet oil potatoes and it was one of the most disgusting things that sounds horrible i guess that's point onion ring yeah well i've had some some undercooked onion rings. I've had some where the batter isn't set and it's just like nasty. I've had that too. Okay, so I think we've learned that French fries can suck.

Onion rings can suck. People are more likely to make French fries at home, but people think onion rings are fancy. And the average French fry, I still believe, is better than the average onion ring, but the best onion ring is likely better than the best french fry because there's more care and technique that goes into it. There's a lot of factors here.

Yeah, this is quite a complex debate we're having. Stressed out. I still believe that we have to trust in the power of democracy. What about democracy? And I'm not talking about this farcical representative democracy that turns into oligarcho-fascism. I'm talking about true democracy. What is true democracy? And I'm not talking about this farcical representative democracy that turns into like oligarcho-fascism. I'm talking about true democracy. What is true democracy?

Just true, like one person, one vote, more people would vote french fries. I think that gives it an edge. I'm not trying to give in to tyranny of the majority here. So just because the population thinks that it's great, that means that it's great? Yeah! Have you heard of communism?

Have you heard of communist Russia? And who grew potatoes in Russia? I agree. I do like onion rings. I am very curious. To me, I want to see like the best chef in the world. I was going to say Giro,

but he's pretty devoted to sushi. I was going to say Joel Robuchon, but he passed. Man, I'm going to get Joel Robuchon to make the best French fry versus the best onion ring. Maybe we can ask somebody. Maybe we can ask Gordon Ramsay.

So my favorite French fries I've ever had are at the Bellwether. Ted Hobson. I've never been. It's the dude who, like, he was the actual guy cooking the Father's Office Burger.

The most famous, the burger that launched a burger revolution in the early 2000s. He was the one actually cooking them. He was the CDC. And then he left to start

his own place called the Bellwether where he does a patty melt that's like a version of the father's office burger. And it is dank, but he has these $12 French fries. This is new, Josh. This is new. I have a media job and I live in my own apartment in LA and I'm going to go spend $12 on French fries and another $14 on a cocktail with those French fries. Anyways, they are the most transcendently good French fries I've ever had. It's like a three-day process. Oh, God.

You know, it's like cooking and freezing and alkaline solution and brining and all this stuff. But it's good. But anyways, it is unbelievable. It is a shattering crunch on the outside, and then the inside is almost like a pomme puree. Oh, my gosh. And he serves it with like a house-made ranch and Fresno chili hot sauce. Oh, wow. And so to me, I've never had that onion ring version of that experience, you know, of that absolute transcendency.

I don't think I have either. That's crazy, man. Nicole, I want to create that experience for you. That's crazy, man. Bro, like. What do we need to, a freaking palm puree and a shattering crust of potatoes? What the frick? Mind blown.

Yeah, I can't even, I don't think I've ever had a food experience with either a French fried potato or a French fried potato. A what? No, you gotta do it. A French fried potato. Shh, I need silence. Wait, wait, wait. French fried potato. Shut up.

French fried potato. Gotta go. French fried potato. Shut up. French fried potato. Gotta go. French fried potato. Some folk call it a sling blade. Some folk call it a chisel blade. How do you do the rasp? Oh, I've just watched Sling Blade like nine times. It's a great movie.

I can't do it. Some folk call it a sling blade. Some folk call it a chisel blade. I can't do it. I picked up that sling blade. Hit Jesse Putnam over the head with it. Killed him. So what we're saying is everyone's affected by their own experiences.

What I'm trying to say is that Josh just made a really, really interesting point in which I've only had mid-tier onion rings, and those are delicious to me. But if I were to have the Bellwether french fry, I might change my tune. And I think we all might. If I hadn't had so many disappointing onion ring experiences. I think there's a world in which we can respect and enjoy both. I think there is some sort of objectivity

to saying that french fries is better. That is my personal opinion. I will die with that opinion because I refuse to change for anyone, even to my own detriment. I don't know. I guess I just got to eat the bellwether fries and then eat a Johnny Rockets. Let's go.

Restaurants are open, right? We can get it to go. Ooh. Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitter. Nicole, are you texting? Sorry, I was on Twitter.

It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casseroles. Sorry. It was about a page six article on strawberry dresses. I saw that. Why is this dress so popular in quarantine or whatever? I could not tell you. Did you get an answer?

No, because you interrupted me while I was scrolling through Twitter. Oh, I'm sorry. We have a podcast to record. I think that's a good sign that we've gotten comfortable enough podcasting. Because the first time we tried to record this, I went immediately into NPR voice. It was the worst. The thing about pineapple and pizza is that we are all just pineapples. I literally looked at you and I was like, are you done?

Dude. I was so embarrassed for you. Hey, we're here now. We're here now. I'm not wearing shoes. I got ramen all over my pants. We're comfortable in our own environment. Yeah, I'm comfortable.

All right, first up, we got at Spencer is nice. All right, sorry. I'm prejudging this before I read it because I take issue. Lowry's seasoned salt is overused and not that great. I don't know. I think it's kind of the perfect. I would almost recommend, almost, because I don't know if I can do this ethically,

to get rid of all your salt and pepper and only use Lowry's. I did that for months of my life, and I lived a full, happy, productive, and delicious life. I love Lowry's seasoned salt. I do too, but I don't think it's overused. I don't think it is either. Yeah, I think it's actually underutilized, and it's pretty great. I agree with that. Who's overusing Lowry's?

I don't know. I don't know if you can't overuse it. That's whack. Renegade Muffin. Blueberry and horseradish is a good combo and I am valid for putting horseradish on a blueberry bagel. That's disgusting. No, Renegade Muffin, you're valid just for existing. No, no, no.

You gotta make a blueberry relish with horseradish. You're Cogito Ergo Summing. You are a valid person. Don't listen to Nicole telling you what you have to do. I don't like the idea of... You have to enjoy your own dang food. Horseradish on a blueberry bagel?

You know what it sounds like? You're kidding me. We've done a couple episodes like this, but when Watson, the computer that beat Ken Jennings in Jeopardy, when they were like,

hey, Watson is a chef now. Watson can combine different flavor chemical compounds to show you what would be good together. And Watson would just be like, scallops and chocolate. And he'd be like, gross.

He'd just be like, blueberries and horseradish. He'd be like, gross. He'd be like, no, no, you don't understand. It has the same phenylalanons. Yeah. And it's like, no, that tastes like butthole. That's a booty. That book, it's inspired by the Food Matrix, the book.

Yeah. I don't know if I believe it. Blueberries and horseradish, I don't know if I've had horseradish with a lot of sweet things, but I do enjoy horseradish, I do enjoy blueberries, and I do enjoy that you are a valid person, renegade muffin.

No. All right, at the Tim Bill, grilled cheese and jelly sandwiches are absolute fire. Any combination of cheese and jelly, I can almost guarantee success. Strawberry preserves and provolone, Havarti and marmalade, jalapeno jelly and blue.

F, yeah. Always on Dave's Killer Bread. I agree with all of this. Oh my God. Except maybe for Dave's Killer Bread. I don't know how I feel about Dave's Killer Bread. One, grilled cheese and jelly sandwiches. Yeah.

Amazing. It's like a pared down version of a Monte Cristo. Amazing. Which is fantastic. Sweet, savory, good combo in this context. Agreed. Dave's Killer Bread, I have a problem with it. I like that it's healthy and it's got seeds and nuts and all that, and I like that someone is trying to make

a really good sandwich bread loaf. You know, like a Wonder Bread style sandwich bread. But to me, there's something about the crumb of Dave's Killer Bread that when you squish it, it don't come back. It doesn't need to come back. Well, I want it to come back. If I'm pressing a grilled cheese, especially, and Dave's Killer Bread is just going to flatten into a pancake,

and the gluten structure ain't going to bloom, it's a really wet loaf of bread. So I go Oro Wheat Double Fiber, because I eat a lot of animal meat, and I need the fiber to help my poos. I'm an Oro Wheat household. I used to be an Ezekiel household, but now I'm an Oro Wheat household.

Oro Wheat, what kind of Oro Wheat? Wheat. Just the brown one? Just the brown one. The brown one, yeah, the Costco Oro Wheat household. Oro Wheat? What kind of Oro Wheat? Wheat. Just the brown one? Just the brown one. Yeah, the Costco Oro Wheat. The brown one. Yeah, you gotta buy two sacks of it. I'd buy one. I'd go Oro Wheat as opposed to Dave's Killer Bread, but I do respect this opinion. This is a wonderful opinion. Thank you for going

through the trouble of telling us what cheeses match with what sort of jelly. They're all good. The Havarti and Marmalade is like right up my alley. Yeah, I was thinking about a jalapeno jelly in blue. That sounds great. Okay, let's think about one that we would probably enjoy now. Okay, strawberry and white American.

Okay, mine would be raspberry preserves and Gouda. Not smoked Gouda, just regular Gouda. Smoked Gouda is overused. It is such an aggressive profile. Just regular Gouda. It makes everything tastea. Smoked Gouda is overused. It is such an aggressive profile. Just regular Gouda. It makes everything taste like bacon. It kind of tastes metallic to me. Yeah.

Manchego and- Oh, quince. Oh! Quince! Oh, he said quince! Oh, give me that membrillo! He said quince. Okay.

Happy Trees 42. People who choose ranch instead of blue cheese, especially with wings, should be jailed. Blue cheese is always superior, except maybe dipping sliced vegetables. Okay. Blue cheese is the dankness. And I prefer my chicken wings exclusively with blue cheese. Ranch has its place sometimes somewhere.

Like I had a Peruvian steak sandwich and I put ranch in it and it was good. And like sometimes I'll put ranch in my barbecue chicken salad sub the chicken for avocado and i they're different sauces and they're used for different things and i don't feel like they're interchangeable what's the difference between ranch and blue cheese it's just one has blue cheese and the other has like herbs in place of it right can you accurately say that that is the only difference i would say so yeah that's the only difference especially if you're eating like the store-bought stuff it's all the same base of just like mayonnaise and buttermilk and whatever so yeah no i lock me up lock me up put put me in the handcuffs maybe

i'll even like it maybe i'll find a part of me that has not been unlocked yet but i think that ranch and buffalo wings go better than blue cheese and buffalo wings no i don't need the cheese i don't need the cheese to be obstructing the flavor of delicious chicken and hot sauce. I want the herbs to offset it. Give me that little bright punch on it. It's not obstructive. It enhances the buffalo flavor.

Whatever, we're going to talk about some potheads. Get out of here. Oh, yeah, we're going to do ranch. Oh. Yep, yep,

ranch blue cheese is coming at some point. All right, at Heather Wassing, the best condiment for a hot dog is peanut butter. Skip.

I'm sick of your peanut butter opinion. Stop being weird. Be normal. This is weird is peanut butter. Skip. I'm sick of your peanut butter opinion. Stop being weird. Be normal. This is weird. I'd try it. I don't know. No, I think they'd be pretty terrible.

That's bad. I try and have an open mind about all these food combos. There's something about peanut butter gumming up the roof of your mouth while you're eating hot dog meat that makes me a little ill. That gave me a crink in my neck. If it was a thin peanut sauce, but it tastes the texture. If it was like a peanut sauce with a little bit of like soy and mirin,

sure, maybe, but like just straight peanut butter. I think people need to use peanut butter more as an ingredient than they do. Like, okay, so Stan's Donuts, RIP in Westwood. One of the best donut shops. Oh, RIP, right on the corner. I know, now Primo's is taking over.

Primo's is also very good donuts. Oh, it is? West LA Heritage. But anyway, Stan's used to have a lot of donuts that were filled with peanut butter. Oh. And they're all pretty good. I love peanut butter with sweet things, and I love fried dough. But my problem is if they would have just taken that peanut butter and just whisked

it with equal parts pastry cream that they would already put in their other donuts, just make a peanut butter cream-filled donut instead of just having this gummy peanut butter in there. That's what I want. And not enough people think to do that. Were they hot? The owners of Stan's? No, the donuts. The donuts. The donuts. Josh not enough people think to do that. Were they hot? The owners of Stan's? No, the donuts.

The donuts. The donuts, Josh. You weirdo. No, they weren't hot. No, they were always sitting in the pastry case since 4 a.m. and I don't think

they made a second batch throughout the day. Oh, no, no, no. But they were open 24 hours. They'd go at like 3 in the morning coming home from the bars and just get like

a big banana peanut butter chocolate chip donut. Yum. That sounds really good though. Okay. Ash underscore with sass. Hashtag hot though. Okay. Ash underscore with the sass. Hashtag hot take. Foods should not be mixed onto the fork

and should be eaten separately. I can't even eat a bacon cheeseburger because the bacon is its own food and thus I order it on the side, eat the bacon and subsequently eat the burger. Hashtag I'm not weird. I feel like you just might have a minor case of OCD and that's okay.

You just need to recognize it and try to fight through it. Neither of us are doctors per se. It's just my thought process. No, no, no. I have seen that in a lot of people who, and it can range from like moderate to severe to mild, but like people with anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder. Yeah, general. Yeah, a lot of people tend to have food mixing issues and I like totally respect And I, like, totally respect that, you know, no one should eat things that, like, doesn't

bring them joy. Of course. That said, I firmly disagree with this. I want to mash all my food into a burrito bowl, even if it is nowhere burrito related. Just make me a casserole and let me slap it in my face. Though I would say, I do believe that not all cheeseburgers need bacon. And I do think that people over bacon foods, I think we are past that trend. Totally.

Thank God we're over that. Thank God we're over that trend. Bacon and, ugh, so much bacon. Yeah. That got out of hand. And I was someone who absolutely perpetrated that trend. And still do, I think. We haven't done that many crazy bacon things.

I don't think we've done any bacon things. Dang. We should probably. I probably gotta do more bacon things. Gotta do more bacon things. Dang. We should probably do some. I probably gotta do more bacon things. Gotta do more bacon things. Okay. All right, at Melody2089,

my hashtag opinion casserole is that family guy, they've tagged family guy, their idea to put butter on a Pop-Tart is actually freaking good. I haven't seen this episode. I haven't seen it either, which is weird,

because I've seen a lot of family guys. Yeah, me too. That said, buttering up a Pop-Tart, toasting a Pop-Tart in some like, God, especially brown butter in a pan.

Weird. That sounds great to me. Yeah, it sounds good in theory, but I feel like after I'd eat it, I would need to take a nap and the chances of me eating a Pop-Tart anytime other than the morning is slim. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I feel that. This is like a nap. I almost never eat Pop-Tarts before like 6 p.m.

Like I'm a night Pop-Tart-y. I'm a night tart-y. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'm a morning tart. For me, it's when pop-tarty. I'm a night tartier. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'm a morning tart. For me, it's when you're a morning tart. I'm a night tart guy. I think one of the advantages that toaster strudels have over pop-tarts,

you know the difference between like livewood and deadwood? Absolutely not. Whatever. Like you can't burn. I don't know. I did Cub Scouts for like one month. Am I a carpenter to know the difference? Is that like a term livewood and deadwood-ish?

Like livewood you can't start a fire with because there's still moisture in it and then like deadwood is what you want yeah okay i think your show with timothy oliphant yeah he's hot um anyways this is going somewhere this is going somewhere i feel like pop tarts are the deadwood of pastry dough whereas toasted strudels are livewood there's no moisture in them there's no life to it but it's more useful to be deadwood. Agreed. But when you don't want it to be, when you want to liven it up a little bit, toast it in some brown butter in a pan.

That's what I believe. That's where I went to all this. Okay. Do you, fam. Well, anyways, that's the podcast. Thanks for stopping by. We got new episodes of A Hot Dog is a Sandwich every Wednesday.

If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube. We launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pics of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We'll see you next time.

Josh is buying me french fries. He doesn't know it yet. I don't have any money. You're buying me french fries? You're my boss. They don't pay me. You're my boss. You have any money. You're buying me ventures. You're my boss! They don't pay me. You're my boss! You have more money than me!