A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is Wagyu Beef A Scam?
Episode Date: March 23, 2022Is Wagyu Beef a delectable delight or is it just a straight up scam? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about ...your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
With a world full of snake oil salesmen, Tinder swindlers, and countless Anna Delveys,
is the real scam Wagyu beef?
This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates.
I'm your host, Nicole Anaidi.
And I'm your host, Josh Scherer.
And today we're talking about Wagyu beef.
And if it's a scam.
It's a scam.
We're talking about if it's a scam.
It is a scam.
What makes you...
Hold on, Nicole.
First of all, that was nice.
I started the podcast.
This is the first time you ever started.
How does that make you feel?
I think it's a really good move.
Yeah?
You like it?
I think it's kind of like moving to a more like egalitarian model.
I think it's been a long time coming.
My point is Wagyu beef.
It's everywhere now.
We can't avoid it.
Not only is it big at like restaurants, it's big on the old TikTok, on the YouTube.
Oh my gosh.
So many people are making videos. we cooked a whole wagyu cow we made can we dry age wagyu beef and marshmallow
fluff oh my gosh you wagyu wagyu scam scam artists you're talking about my boy guga who i'm not
smacking on guga you're not smacking on guga he's a national hero and we all make garbage content
to get by sometimes you have, and that's totally fine.
But no, I think there's a lot of misconceptions about what wagyu is and what it actually means, right?
Yeah, totally.
The etymology of wagyu, wa means, it's like a prefix that literally means Japanese, and gyu means cow.
Meat? Oh, it means cow.
Yeah.
So gyu kaku, meat.
Meat kaku.
I love gyu kaku. I don't know what kaku means, but yeah, gyu means cow, right?
Gyudon, beef bowl, etc., etc.
And so wagyu is a type of Japanese cattle.
There's actually four different breeds that go underneath the umbrella of wagyu.
They are all native to Japan, comes from wild cows that you can trace the genealogy back thousands upon thousands of years.
They were crossbred with other ones.
How wild is that that we as humans decided to trace the genealogy of a cow
and kept that record for us to remember to eat it?
Well, it's hilarious that we can trace that back 35,000 years or whatever.
I don't know where my grandparents are from.
You could if you wanted to.
I don't want to use the 23 and me. I would rather know where my grandparents are from. You could if you wanted to. I don't want to use the 23 and me.
I would rather know where my cow came from
than my grandpa because what if my grandpa was a bad person?
What if he was on the wrong side of historical
conflicts? I don't know where he was during the Boer Wars,
Nicole. So what? You mean like
boring wars? No, the
Boer. Boer? Boer.
I have no idea what that is. Boer is the Dutch
in South Africa are called the Boers. Oh, I did not
know that. Like, have you ever had Boerverse? Yeah. I don't idea what that is. Boer is the Dutch in South Africa are called the Boers. Oh, I did not know that.
Like, have you ever had Boervers?
Boervers?
Yeah.
I don't know how to pronounce it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like a sausage.
I don't know.
Anywho, yeah.
So Wagyu, people think it means Kobe beef, right?
Like a lot of people.
Yes.
That is a very common misconception.
The two are very, very different, right?
Yes.
Kobe beef is something that is legally protected.
It's like champagne is to sparkling wine.
But even then, there's misconceptions about Kobe beef.
I keep talking about misconceptions.
Why don't we talk about some damn conceptions here, right?
So the real expensive stuff is A5 Wagyu, right?
Olive Fed.
Olive Fed is the most rare of all of these, right? Olive fed. Olive fed is the most rare of all of these, right? But I think even that is a
separate branding thing that is similar to like Kobe beef was like the big branded one, right?
Kobe beef has to be branded with a chrysanthemum flower on it and raised in the Hyogo Prefecture,
I believe. But now it's been dethroned by the olive fed A5 Wagyu. Yep. Goes for like $200 a pound.
It's insane.
It's insane.
Have you had olive fed Wagyu?
I have had olive fed.
And do you love it?
I, yeah, it's cool, man.
I don't know.
No, Josh, mano y mano food person to food person.
Yes, it is a spectacular experience.
Along there with any other like luxury cool experience, right?
You have a very expensive caviar.
It tastes very special because it's a luxury item.
You have fresh shaved truffles.
It tastes very special because it's a luxury item.
It's very, very delicious.
I don't love, it almost doesn't have a beefy quality to it in a sense because it's so fatty.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like eating fat.
If you've ever had the fattiest of like say bluefin tuna belly, what's called a toro yeah uh sometimes it's just like damn i want to taste the tuna and
this is just like fat melting in my mouth so it's very cool and it's a very prize item that i'm very
grateful to have eaten but that's not even the stuff that i'm calling a scam here because what
are you calling a scam i'm calling a scam the biggest scam is when you go to a dang food truck
and for 12 they're saying wagyu beef burger you go to like dang food truck and for $12, they're saying Wagyu beef burger.
You go to like an umami burger and they say, we got Wagyu beef chili.
And the term Wagyu has been so, so, so diluted that at this point it's damn near meaningless.
And that's actually backed up by the science and genealogy.
Because, Nicole, I don't know if you know this.
I'm kind of an amateur cow genealogist.
Are you?
Yeah, dude.
I go hang out with the cows all the time.
I learned something new about you almost every day. I swab their cheeks. You swab the cheeks of Are you? Yeah, dude. I go hang out with the cows all the time. I learn something new about you almost every
day. I swab their cheeks. You swab
the cheeks of the cows? Yeah, dude. Yeah.
Then I go put it in a mailbox and say, government, find
out where this cow's from. Nobody gives back to me.
That's so funny. Okay.
Well, so you think it's just a lie.
You think the big corporations
are using the word wagyu to push product.
Yes. And I think there's, I don't think they're
like completely mislabeling it.
I think people are misunderstanding what the label means.
Okay.
So Japan stopped allowing exports of the Wagyu cattle breeds,
of the four main Wagyu cattle breeds,
which are like black, red, short hair, short horn.
A short horn and pole, something like that?
Yeah, there's four main breeds.
And they have stopped the exporting of those to America just to protect the Japanese industry, right?
Rightfully so.
Yeah, rightfully so.
Isolationist Japanese politics led to some bad things in the past.
You know, hey-o.
I totally get that.
That said, there was a herd of, I believe, about 30, not a single herd.
There was about 30, not a single herd.
There was about 30,000 head of Wagyu cattle in America when they stopped importing them.
Wow.
And so what we did is we done took them and we said, hey, we're going to crossbreed them with the Angus cattle to create American Wagyu.
Which you enjoy, question mark?
Which I don't know.
That's the thing.
It's a scam.
I enjoy it, but it's a scam.
I enjoy it, but it's a scam. I enjoy it, but it's a scam.
I'm trying to get you to admit that you enjoy it so then you can prove that it's not a scam.
Do you see that?
Do you see how I'm trying to like, you like it, right?
You enjoy it, right?
It's luxurious, right?
It's cool.
It's unique to the experience. I don't think me enjoying it means it's not a scam, though.
Why is that?
Right?
Why?
Is it?
That's like saying, does therapy work?
Do you enjoy it?
Do you feel better afterwards?
Well, I've never done it because it scares me, and I don't want to go into the deep recesses
of my brain and figure out what's wrong with me.
What's a great example?
It's like, is acupuncture a scam?
Do you feel better afterwards?
Maybe.
So it's not a scam for you.
After you eat a piece of Wagyu, don't you feel a little bit, I don't know.
A little lighter on my feet?
Yeah.
Like my chi's been balanced a little bit from the pressure points?
No, not the chi being balanced, but like, you know, it's like, is it a scam? I really enjoyed this experience.
It's something I'm probably not going to do as often in my life. So maybe it's not a scam. Maybe it's just a mindset for you.
You're just a pessimistic. You're a pessimist,. You're just a pessimistic.
You're a pessimist, man.
Stop being so pessimistic.
No, but then it's the opportunity cost of that scam, right?
So say, take acupuncture as an example.
If somebody is foregoing what could be a, let's say, more conventional medicinal treatment that has proven data to show, hey, this works to get acupuncture, and they're not getting
the actual palliative treatment that they could possibly, I don this works to get acupuncture um and they're not getting the actual palliative treatment that they they could you know possibly i don't know anything about
acupuncture maybe what i'm saying is offensive who freaking knows man i have people i have friends
who've used acupuncture say they really enjoy it but if somebody's like hey here's an antibiotic
that would really help you uh and they're like well i'm probably gonna go acupuncture instead
because it makes me feel a little bit better it's like well the opportunity cost there
you know that's significant the opportunity cost there, you know, that's significant.
The opportunity cost of an American Wagyu steak, Nicole.
Josh, I got a great example for you.
It's $4.
Acupuncture isn't the right comparison.
How about this?
I like to get my eyebrows done, okay?
I think it's important.
They look fantastic, honey.
Thank you so much for noticing.
They look so good.
Thank you.
Like little caterpillars, like Eugene Levy.
But let me explain.
So threading my eyebrows, it makes me feel good and I enjoy doing it.
And I like to think that the people around me are grateful that I don't have a unibrow.
Now, is threading a scam?
Maybe because like the patriarchy is like women have to be hairless or maybe I'm Middle
Eastern and it's just a thing, you know.
But is it a scam if it's doing good?
Is it?
I think it's doing bad.
You just said that.
It's a patriarchy.
It's upholding negative beauty standards.
Yeah, but don't I look good though?
No, that's the thing.
You would look great.
Frida Kahlo.
My God.
Oh my God.
She's like dead.
That doesn't.
That totally doesn't.
You're saying you won the war against frida kahlo because you
outlived her no what i'm trying to say is like the the idea of scam the notion of scam what does
that mean for you josh what does scam mean for you i would say a scam is inventing a problem that
does not exist that convinces people to pay money to solve it you You having a unibrow, Nicole, is never a problem. That's just how your body was created.
For you, maybe, because you don't care.
No, exactly.
You know, and so I'm saying that the beauty industry invented that problem.
They said, hey, having hair, I'm staring at the bridge of your nose right now,
having hair going, linking one brow to another is bad and makes you less worthy as a person.
They did that so you could pay them money to go thread you.
Now, throw that.
And that's a bad thing.
That's a scam.
You should rail against it.
Now, throw that with meat, with Wagyu beef.
So they said that the normal American beef you're eating, this isn't going to take a patriotic turn, I swear.
But the scam is that, hey, the normal beef you're eating, that wasn't good enough.
You know why?
Because you're a fancy boy.
You're a fancy little Victorian boy and you deserve only the best in japan i'm fascinated with the area of both
japanophobia and japanophilia right i think we have japanophilia i think now certainly in like
in the 80s it was really big right um collective we this collective we as far as like america um
i don't know western culture is sort of like idolizing this idea of like oh in in japan you'll
even see it in like the precision walking videos.
People be like, oh, the Japanese are just so well organized.
And they say a bunch of weird kind of, it's like that kind of, this is a weird term, positive
racism, you know, model minority.
Model minority.
Yeah.
It's like when anybody talks about Japanese cuisine, they go like, what I love about it
is it's so pure.
It's so refined.
It's so refined.
And it's like they're eating fish cakes stuffed with like every culture
has dirt bags in it every culture wants to eat gross fried things and every culture also has
their beautiful uh you know eras of refinement and whatnot um but to like isolate japanese
anything uh craftsmanship um auto making food to one thing is, I think, messed up.
And I think that's where the term Wagyu comes into like this sort of scam idea
where people are like, oh, it's Japanese.
It must be the best.
Yeah.
And the cows in Japan are raised to certain conditions.
So there's a lot of, you know, actual truth to that, I suppose.
But then you're watering down the bloodline so much
and just raising them on America's ranches to create what's called the wangus cattle.
Wangus!
Wangus!
Weenus!
It's a poor montel of Wagyu and Angus.
You get wangus.
And then they're just, you know, getting people to pay a surcharge for something they think
is fancier because it's Japanese and that really doesn't have a ton to do with the actual
enjoyment or flavor or whatever.
If people are happy, Nicole, if people are happy and they're American Wagyu and they're
paying the money that they have, you know, they're not like taking food out their baby's
mouths to eat their Wagyu cheesesteak or whatever, that's totally fine.
But, but, but you can't say it's a scam.
If you're fine spending money on beauty products, just know that you're getting scammed.
I mean, but think about it, Josh.
Like you watching these videos and like these Instagram feeds of just like this beautiful marbling.
It's stunning. And then you see them cook the meat and you're just like, wow, how is this like?
Oh, my God. It's just like it's like porn. It's beautiful.
It's like, oh, my God, that doesn't like that doesn't like trigger your brain to like want to enjoy it.
I'm anti I'm anti porn, Nicole. I'm anti food porn.
Because because food porn, it is defined by the erasure of process.
It creates unrealistic expectations for society.
Our job is to make food porn.
But only show.
No, no, no.
I want the opposite now.
I want our job to show the full reality of cooking.
Really?
Now, Nicole, all of our 20-minute food videos on YouTube, they're all brightly lit.
Now, it's just going to be how I actually cook at home, which is me just like muttering, doing dishes and like spitting into the garbage disposal.
I don't know why I do that. You do that here. And it's gross. Have you ever made Wagyu at home or
is that something that you just enjoy out? I don't know if I've ever made Wagyu at home. I don't know
if I've ever made it outside of this. I mean, we've made it for the show. And to be clear,
when I'm talking about like A5 Wagyu, that stuff is like very real.
That's great.
Yeah.
You know, but it's these kind of watered down, especially ground Wagyu beef.
Because the point of Wagyu cattle, especially A5 in the grading scale, is the beautiful fat marbling.
It's so gorgeous.
And I know.
And so when you drop that into a grinder, you're destroying all of that.
Intramuscular marbling and that fat.
It's just disintegrates.
It's disintegrated and you just turned it and it's pointless.
The fat character of Wagyu beef is a little bit different.
The taste is going to be a little bit different.
Of course, it is a different cow, assuming you're getting purebred Wagyu, which if you are, that would be a little bit of a crime to grind that.
I mean, we've probably done it, I'm sure.
I don't think we've ever.
Oh.
Have we ever ground A5?
Yeah. When?
Some fancy fast food where we made a burger.
Yeah, but that's fun. That's for the lols. And a lot of it tastes good.
Yeah, but at the same time, it's just like-
We also very rarely cook something on fancy fast food and then we're like,
was that worth $400? Most of the time we're like, no. That was a little bit of fudgery.
That was a little bit of Tom fudgery right there.
I want to go back to what you were saying about Umami
Burger and how they make a
Wagyu chili. I don't know if it's actually
them. Somebody made a Wagyu chili. Someone made it.
And it was like a chain. It might have been Barrel and
Ashes, the old barbecue restaurant up in
Studio City. Okay. Now my question
is, do you think they're using
like 5% Wagyu, 10%
Wagyu, 0% Wagyu? What do you think they're using like 5% Wagyu, 10% Wagyu, 0% Wagyu?
What do you think goes on in the kitchen?
If I had a guess, I would say they are getting the bare minimum of what could reasonably
be considered Wagyu cattle from a farm that tried their best to make sure that one cow,
Nicole, in this lineage of cows lovemakery over the
last generations, that one of them was Wagyu beef.
I think that that's what it is.
And I think that's what a lot of it is.
I think it's probably a cow that was crossbred with Angus or Longhorn or what have you.
And it was just all Wangasi.
I believe the steak was probably 8% more expensive than a normal steak.
And they're charging you 30% more for a cup of chili because they had the term Wagyu on there.
So wild.
How do you feel about Snake River Farms?
I like them.
Oh, they're so good, though.
I know, right?
Snake River Farms has such, their hot dogs.
Oh, the Wagyu beef hot dog.
Yeah, we should talk about that.
Speaking of grinding meat, they can grind their meat all they want as far as I'm concerned.
I love Snake River Farms.
They make a lot of really fantastic, I mean, just their steaks are great.
And they are also like one of the first like American Wagyu producers out there.
There's another one called Lone Mountain Wagyu that is 100% DNA tested.
Oh, so they 23andMe the cows. They 23andMe the cows. And they make really fantastic stuff. out there. There's another one called Lone Mountain Wagyu that is 100% DNA tested.
Oh, so they 23 and me the cows. They 23 and me the cows.
And they make
really fantastic stuff.
I've had their,
what is, I guess,
technically American Wagyu
because it's raised
on American soil.
I've had their, like,
American Wagyu
whole cut steaks
and they're a really
fantastic product.
It's different than A5 Wagyu
because you're getting
a much meatier experience
from it.
But it's also
significantly better than USDA Prime.
It's just really, really good stuff.
Snake River Farms, I think they make really great product too.
Their heritage breed pork, great.
I don't love their hot dogs.
Everyone's obsessed with their hot dogs.
I don't love them.
You don't like the hot dogs?
Make the case for the hot dogs.
Oh my God.
They have this beautiful snap.
They're juicy.
They're the perfect amount of fatty.
I don't know what kind of, they put like some weird spice.
I don't know what it is.
Some weird spice. It's just a gorgeous sausage.
They're too big.
The hot dogs are too big.
The wieners are too big. Don't get either wiener that big.
They give you the thick. They don't give you the long.
You want the long. You want a bigger wiener.
You make it longer. You don't make it thicker.
I'm telling you, the longer the wiener...
I'm sorry. I didn't make that through. They say most people care about the wind i'm a length man
no but that that speaks to the thing we're talking about there right like do you think
that that hot dog would have been any better or worse using non-wagyu beef oh man see and this is
this is the definition of the scam here i like to to think, I don't know, because if I was blindfolded and I ate that hot dog and there was a similar size hot dog that was not made with Wagyu beef, I don't think I would know the difference.
I don't think I would.
Maybe I wouldn't.
But you're fine with that.
Just like the way you're fine with the patriarchy dictating your duo brow.
Yeah, I guess it's called a duo.
No, it's Dua Lipa, Josh.
It's Dua Lipa.
Yeah, Dua Lipa sounds like a euphemism for something else
No, I mean, maybe I wouldn't
You know, I've never done a side-by-side comparison like that
I've never sat there and said
Hmm, this is a regular piece of meat
And then this is a Wagyu piece of meat
I've never done that before
But I would love to do that
You know who did do that?
Who?
Kobe Bryant
Oh, yeah, RIP Kobe Bryant.
You guys did the most amazing, amazing episode with that guy.
Yeah.
We did an episode where it was, can Kobe tell the difference between Kobe beef?
And we actually had to, we shot with him like in Orange County, in Costa Mesa.
And I had to prep all of the food up here in Burbank, drive like 60 miles down with it all in like coolers and thermoses.
Wow. And then at like a Hyatt Hotel conference room, set up my like prep station as our old showrunner Darren was like, do you need me to like put lettuce on tacos?
But we made what?
We made a cheesesteak.
We made hard shell tacos with ground beef.
We made.
I wasn't here.
This was long before I walked through the doors of Mythical.
I know, I know.
I'm trying to remember what exactly we made though.
But we made a bunch of, you know, kind of standard convenience foods and he knew um yes we and
we also weren't using like legit kobe beef because we kind of got away with a little bit of the name
trickery here we were using so you scammed we scammed the people scam the people well but we
were using 100 dna tested wagyu from america we use lone river or sorry lone tested Wagyu from America. We use Lone River, sorry, Lone Mountain Wagyu from New Mexico
to do that.
And so, man, maybe we're the real scammers.
Yeah.
That said, Kobe Bryant,
he's from Philly.
He said I made him the best cheesesteak he'd ever had.
Not to make this day about me,
but I beat Kobe.
That's so sweet.
Wow, love you.
Love you, Kobe.
That's amazing.
But he could tell the difference.
And I tasted them
and you could tell the difference.
But most of the difference was kind of just it was greasier.
And then when you add salt to beef grease, it makes it taste better.
Yeah, you really know.
You make a good cheesesteak, man.
I'm like, listen.
I don't know what it is, man.
You make good cheesesteaks.
You know, it's in the Philly blood.
You made a really good cheesesteak with Trevor.
I'm from Philly.
My family's from Allentown.
It's not even in Philly.
That's not even how they talk in Philly.
What other food scams
are out there that you just completely buy into
and you feel totally fine with? Oh, so many.
Oh my God.
Like the hand rules. You know the hand rules?
The hand rule bars? Yeah. Those are whack.
Why? I love them so much.
They're dumb! There's a
new type of restaurant that has sprung up around LA
that I love and I, oh my God, Nicole,
on Saturday after the UCLA basketball game,
I went and I tried to stand in line to people love when we make very specific
LA references.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I stood in line at Kazunori for 15 minutes.
It did not move.
And I was like,
I'm out of here.
But there's restaurants that you go and,
uh,
they'll just make you a nice little sushi hand roll and they'll like hand
feed it to you while the Nori is still warm.
Yeah.
And it's really a delight. What don't you like about it? I don't know. It's a scam. little sushi hand roll and they'll like hand feed it to you while the nori is still warm yeah and
it's really a delight what don't you like about i don't know it's a scam making people stand out
there pretty cheap no i don't i think it's a scam making people see i just don't like the long lines
i'm a long line i pass out in long lines it's not a good time i stand too much in one spot
everything goes i ordered a drink at the bar the other day same night because we we left
we left the scam sushi restaurant just go to a real crappy bar um and uh i ordered a drink at the bar the other day, same night, because we left the scam sushi restaurant to just go to a real crappy bar.
And I ordered a tequila soda, and they were like, oh, what tequila?
And I just instinctively yelled, whatever's cheapest.
I don't even say the well is fine.
I just say, give me the cheapest.
I'm sure tequila's a scam.
Big time scam.
All liquor's a scam.
It's all the bottles.
It's all the bottles.
It's all the bottles.
It's all in the branding.
Don Julio 1942, get the heck out of here.
It's actually really good.
You ever just sip on some sometimes?
Like, I'll sip on Cuervo, baby.
I am proud.
I am proud.
Oh, that literally just made my nose weird.
No, you put two drops of bleach in Cuervo and it makes it taste like 42.
No way.
I mean, there's reason that liquor does cost more money than the other ones outside of branding.
And it's ditto with Wagyu beef.
Like, there are reasons that typical wagyu beef costs
as much as it does the typical uh wagyu cow especially if it's a5 will go for like thirty
thousand dollars where an american longhorn will go for like three thousand dollars at the same
that is so nuts to me do you know one of my friends actually asked me if i wanted to go like
chitzy chitzy on a cow did you i didn't chitzy chitzy is Hebrew for 50-50 in case we have new listeners who don't hear me say that.
He literally was like, hey, I'm going to get a kosher wagyu animal and we're going to slaughter
it and then we're going to cook it. Do you want to split it? And I'm like, hmm, not right now.
Maybe later. Wait, what would make it kosher exactly? It's the way you kill it. I mean,
yeah, it's one clean cut across the throat.
Got to hang it up, let it bleed out.
And then do you have to salt the meat?
Yeah.
Salt the meat to dry out the blood impurities?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like, why would you do that to Wagyu?
That's so like criminal.
Yeah.
Kosher meat's expensive.
So expensive.
Oh my God.
Kosher meat's probably more expensive than American Wagyu.
The new American Wagyu is Jewish meat.
Oh my God.
People don't know this.
I keep kosher in my house.
Like I don't buy any meat
that is not kosher.
Okay.
It is so expensive
being kosher.
It is nuts you guys.
As someone who loves food
I'm like I could get
this steak for $5.
I'm spending $20 on it.
It's insanity.
How often do you cook
meat at home?
Has it made you
stop eating meat?
I mean a little bit.
I mean I eat more meat here. I definitely eat more meat at work than I do at home. But sometimes I make a nice steak dinner for my husband, a nice stew. But yeah, no, it's very, it is like Wagyu, but no other payoff.
Would you, I mean, would you ever spend your own money on Wagyu? Say you went to like a nice steakhouse for, would you, you know, I feel like it's now more popular than ever, at least in LA.A. You go to a steakhouse and they'll have, steakhouses are already so expensive.
Yeah, so expensive.
You know, you'll see their six ounce filet for $56, 12 ounce filet for $84.
And then they have their special like American Wagyu menu.
And then it'll be like.
Zabaton.
Yeah, six ounce Zabaton, $149.
And then it'll be like A5.
Market price.
Yeah, market price. I'm like, I A5. Market price. Yeah, market price.
I'm like, I'm too poor to ask.
Yeah, market price gives me like hives.
But do you ever go to that Wagyu menu?
I look at it longingly, but then I realize that I want to buy a house one day.
So maybe once in a while, like maybe once a year, we'll do it.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, or like if we're abroad, let's do it.
But typically, no, I'm not going to spend my cold, hard cash on meat like that.
I'm not.
Unless, of course, it's a special occasion.
Yeah.
I was trying to, I don't know if I was trying to impress her on a date.
This is during my fun single time that we worked together.
I went to Park's Barbecue, which is a very fancy Korean barbecue restaurant.
It's not like ultra fancy, but it's
high end. And they had
an American Wagyu thing and I was like, screw it. It wasn't
even that expensive. It was like 40 bucks for whatever, but that
was part of the meal. Could not have
told you the difference between the American Wagyu
and their normal
just like good prime meat, you know? Yeah.
So crazy. I mean, I've been to
some steakhouses and I've gotten
some A5 Wagyu and it has
been an incredible experience.
Yeah. It really is. I mean,
I don't know. Of course,
not everyone in the world is going to be able to try Wagyu
and I understand that it's definitely coming from a place of
privilege and a place of luxury. Yes, yes, yes.
Acknowledge your privilege for eating the very fat
cow, Nicole. Of course.
Apologize to the cow for dying as well.
I'm sorry, cow.
I love you.
His name was George.
His name was not George.
His Japanese name wasn't George, but he moved here.
There's no way his name was George, man.
It's so cool and so interesting that it's like the commodification of this product.
The way that it's packaged, the way that it's sold to people, how they say they massage the cows.
Who knows?
Do they actually massage the cows?
Yo, I couldn't tell you.
I haven't been there for every cow that they've raised, despite me doing some amateur genealogy
work on the herd.
As a cow genealogist, I'm going to give you a C.
But no, that is something that they do, at least in the Hyogo Prefecture.
That was the thing with Kobe beef.
Couldn't tell you about the olive fed Kagoshima Prefecture cows.
Kagoshima is probably better.
I've had both and I like the Kagoshima more. I think it tastes cleaner. Like the-fed Kogoshima Prefecture cows. Kogoshima is probably better. I've had both, and I like the Kogoshima more.
I think it tastes cleaner.
Like the fat isn't as buttery.
Okay.
Sorry.
No, listen.
I haven't had enough to say.
I will say that these scams are what kind of make us human, right?
Yeah, everything is a scam.
Remember?
We said that with your brother.
Yeah, about wine.
Culinary school.
Rotten grapes. Culinary school is a scam, Wagyu is a scam.
But these are the things that make life worth living.
Like when you talked about those special occasions and eating Wagyu at a restaurant and having some fantastic bites,
you know what one of the best feelings is?
When you order something expensive, and again, it's a privilege,
and then when you order something expensive and you take that slow bite,
do you know what I'm talking about?
You put it in your mouth and you kind of just like.
Yeah.
I was.
That happened to me for a different reason.
Julie and I went out for our anniversary to Melisse.
Nice.
To Michelin style.
And they had.
They were featuring wild Scottish game.
We got grouse breast.
Oh, grouse.
Love grouse.
Love grouse.
Delicious. And then the server comes up to us and goes, make sure you chew extra slowly because this is wild game.
And there may be some birdshot in there.
And Julia was like.
Birdshot?
Julia was like, aren't you a chef?
Shouldn't you be the one to make sure there's no birdshot?
And I was like, no, no, no.
What's birdshot?
It's the bullets that they use to kill birds.
It like fires small.
It like sprays small amounts of.
There might be bullets in my food!
Straight up! And, and, and, that made you chew
it slowly! And one, it made it fancier
and cool because some old Scottish man was just
birdshotting these grouse
and it made you chew extra slow and so every
bite was a revelation in your mouth.
And also I asked the server, I was like
how many times has someone chipped a tooth
and y'all gotten a bad Yelp review that you have to say
this and he goes, oh, no one's ever found birdshot in the grouse he scanned me he scanned
me by telling me there might be bullets in my bird to make it extra special in some weird roundabout
way oh my gosh i know and so we're just we're all rife with scams in the fine dining world fish
all fish tastes the same. Who doesn't?
No, no, no.
That's not that.
As someone who has swordfish, rockfish, and monkfish currently just sitting in my fridge.
That's a lot of fish.
Yeah.
I went a little crazy.
I went to Whole Foods really hungry and spent too much money on fish.
Happens.
Happens.
Monkfish was like 10 bucks a pound, though.
Do you think one day we'll be eating Wagyu beef the way that we see it?
Orlaton?
Is that how you say it?
Or-ta-lon?
Or-ta-lon?
Maybe.
Do you think we're going to cover our faces in shame
because it's just so damn expensive?
I already cover my face in shame when I'm eating,
except instead of doing a towel over my head,
I bury my face in the trash can.
And that's my version of hiding from God.
I'm sorry.
No apologies necessary.
I have a rad time.
In conclusion.
Yeah?
Yeah, a little bit.
Kind of. But it Yeah, a little bit. Kind of.
But it's a scam well spent.
It's a well scammed.
It's a well.
No, it's a scam, but it's worth it.
It's a mutually beneficial scam.
Yeah.
Like everything else in life.
Like a fun cult.
We're not talking about cults.
I'm not talking about cults with you today.
We're always talking about cults.
I'm not talking about cults i'm not talking about cults with you today i'm not talking
about cults anymore josh
josh we've heard what you and i have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are
rattling around there in the twitterverse i look around. It's time for a segment we like to call
Opinions on Like Casseroles!
Josh.
What's up, Nicole? Did you know that you're my best
friend? You're my best friend, too. You and Deep
Nayak. And did you know that Stevie has
a new podcast out? The first episode's out
already. It's called Best Friends Back.
All right! It is called Best Friends Back. All right.
It is called that, Nicole.
And in it, she was talking to her best friend from high school, Nagin.
Yeah.
Who she, you know, lost a little touch with after graduation.
We've all been there.
Yeah.
She's Persian.
She's Persian.
Yeah.
There's two mythical podcasts with two different Persian girls.
We are Representation Matters.
Loving it.
Let's do it.
And, you know, a handful of white guys.
Sorry.
Anyways, I'm pretty excited to listen to it.
Yeah, me too.
Because the first episode's out and I have a commute home.
Me too.
Glad we're on the same page then.
That's pretty rad.
That was good.
That was good.
First up.
Okay, take it.
Yeah, whatever.
We got Julie Bean.
I believe this is a Jewish jelly bean.
Ketchup belongs on beef stew.
There is no belong. There is no belong. There's no belong beef stew. There is no belong.
There is no belong.
There's no belong in food.
There's no belong, I don't believe.
There is no belong. You know, they're simple.
You have a preference.
I have a preference.
Maybe a majority of people have a preference.
To me, that does not make belong.
Would I put ketchup on beef stew?
No.
No.
I wouldn't.
I don't reckon I would.
I don't reckon I would.
Do you put ketchup on beef stew, you beautiful Semitic jelly bean, you?
Semitic jelly bean, eh?
Here's the thing.
Tastes like haroset.
I don't know that I, ooh, a little Manischewitz jelly bean.
I don't believe in putting thick sauces on a stew.
I don't even understand the French rouille.
They put the rouille on bouillabaisse.
What's a rouille?
A rouille, it's like a mayonnaise-y thing.
Oh, I'm kind of into it.
That's like people that put sour cream on chili. You're not into it?
No, I don't put sour cream on chili either.
You don't put it on top?
I don't think I put any thick sauce on.
Listen, I'm there for the chili.
I don't want to temper it with sour cream.
I want to eat some damn chili.
I don't know that I put any thick sauce on any soup
because I don't understand how it's supposed to exist. Interesting. I want to eat some damn chili. I don't know that I put any thick sauce on any soup because I don't understand how
it's supposed to exist. Interesting.
I wouldn't do this. I just don't like the idea
of ketchup and beef stew. It doesn't turn me on.
I like a little bit of sweetness, a little bit of tomato, a little acid.
I like all the components. Maybe in the beef stew.
Maybe not on top. Yeah, I agree with that.
Glad we settled that.
Fat Barnett says, I use blue cheese
dressing on everything that Josh would use ranch
for. I have a sickness.
Oh, no.
That was not a good attempt at doing that.
That was actually really good.
No, I don't think so.
That's better than I would.
That was so much.
Josh, look.
Josh.
Anywho.
Yeah.
I think blue cheese, it's just extra ranch.
It's just more things in a ranch. Let me tell you. There was a period of time when I put blue cheese on it's just extra ranch. It's just more things in a ranch.
Let me tell you, there was a period of time when I put blue cheese on everything.
Blue cheese dressing.
Yeah.
I loved it.
I put it like with salads, chicken, beef.
Doesn't matter.
I would eat it and I loved it.
And then one day I was like, I got over it real quick.
It's like me with Folgers black silk coffee.
Oh, oh, oh.
You just consume too much of a good thing and it eventually makes you gag.
It's just so intense. Oh, oh, oh. You just consume too much of a good thing and it eventually makes you gag. It's just so intense.
It's too much.
But you know that like two weeks where I was on every single thing I ate, it was real good.
Listen, I agree.
If this person can just ride that lightning their whole life, I respect that.
I will say I believe ranch is a more elegant form of blue cheese.
Yeah.
You know, I think the herbs, Nicole, I think they sort of cut through that richness.
What herbs? The herbs in ranch. There's little green specks. Yeah, green specks. You get one every think the herbs, Nicole, I think they sort of cut through that richness. What herbs?
The herbs and ranch.
There's little green specks.
Yeah, green specks.
You get one every four bites and it's great.
Yesterday I made a salad and I just put straight, I made like a homemade Russian dressing and
I was like, this is what we're doing today.
That's yummy.
I love Russian dressing.
Oh, it was great.
At Joyeux 88, whatever 88 in French is, hui ton.
Ah, screw it.
Huit ton. No, it's not. Huit ton. Ah, screw it. Huitant.
No, it's not.
Huitant.
Hot sauce makes pancakes taste even better.
Pancakes are just savory carbs in a circle.
My signature dish, Nicole, when I was 11 years old was I would put-
You had a signature dish?
Yeah, dude.
That's cute.
It was gross.
I called it scallop risotto in savory spiced crepes.
And what I would do is I would thin out Bisquick pancake batter with Frank's Red Hot hot sauce.
And I would make that.
And then I would mix precooked rice with cream cheese and a little like –
they used to sell 99-cent packs of scallops.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
They're like the little frozen ones?
Yeah.
That was the thing.
They don't exist anymore.
I would never bought them, but I knew they were there.
I ate a lot of 99 cent store scallops.
And then I would mix that in with the rice and then put that in these crepes.
And so I see hot sauce pancakes and I cringe at my 11-year-old self.
We should remake that dish now.
We should.
That'd be very fun.
I think it'd be fun to eat the OG and then have you make a more elevated adult version of that.
Sorry, we're brainstorming during a podcast.
I'm sorry.
Crilly Ray Cyrus.
My friend eats Cheez-Its and chocolate hummus together.
Can't tell how I feel about it.
Yeah, we can help you.
We can help you figure it out.
Chocolate hummus.
I don't hate it.
I understand why it exists.
I don't hate it.
It makes sense.
Using the aquafaba to kind of make it a little bit fluffy
go for it
the cheeses
throw me off
yeah cheddar cheese
and chocolate
to me
is one of the worst
food combinations
white cheddar
a white aged cheddar
with a dark chocolate
it's actually gorgeous
really
oh do you do that
oh Nicole works
at a fancy chocolate store
I used to do it
in the chocolate store
I used to do little
cheese plates
with chocolate
so no one used to
make jams and put them on the jams I had I went to do it in the chocolate store. I used to do little cheese plates with chocolate on them. I used to make jams and put them on the jams.
I went to the place in New York that makes the dessert hummus.
The dessert hummus?
They started it, and they made the hummus shake.
Oh, do you mean the tahini shake?
No, it's hummus.
I don't know the hummus.
It's got chickpeas, dude.
I think you're thinking of the tahini shake from Zahav.
That is what I'm thinking of.
But no, they put chickpeas and dates and a bunch of stuff into a big old saucer machine.
Yeah, really, really, really a delight.
So I like the dessert hummus.
Yeah, the Cheez-Its, man.
The Cheez-Its are the bad part.
It's the pita chips.
Yeah.
At Mushroom Beast, my favorite snack is a tomato sandwich on white bread.
Oh, that's good.
Wait, there's more.
Dipped into instant coffee.
What?
Now, if this was like a fresh pour over
with like Arabica beans, you know,
I'd just, no, yeah, hold on.
This is reframing Cheez-Its and chocolate hummus
in a better light to me.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, I hate this so much.
I just, I can't imagine the flavor of.
White bread.
It's not toasted.
They're soaking, it's soaking. It's gonna soak so much of that White bread. It's not toasted. They're soaking.
It's soaking.
It's going to soak so much of that coffee up.
Oh, it's soaking.
And you pick it up and it's limp.
It's limp.
And then it's like dripping brown liquid.
And it's like the tomato's there.
Why is the tomato there?
This is horrible.
I cannot even.
This makes me gag.
Oh, I want to know how this happened in the first place, you know?
This literally makes me go.
They just need a little caffeine boost.
They're eating a tomato sandwich, one of their favorite snacks. They dip one in the other, you know? This literally makes me go. They just need a little caffeine boost. They're eating a tomato sandwich, one of their favorite snacks.
They dip one in the other, you know?
But yeah, I just,
I can't imagine the flavor combinations
in my mouth whatsoever.
No thanks.
Moe Brown says,
oatmeal raisin cookies should be dipped in ranch dressing.
Josh, have you tried this yet?
No, what's going on with all these opinions?
Some people are on one.
Are you people okay?
I think they're on one
and they're having a good time.
Has there been like a...
They're here for a good time,
not a long time.
Listen, I guess that I just...
Man, I've dipped cookies in ketchup.
I've dipped chocolate cookies
in barbecue sauce.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In ranch dressing?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I can't do that.
I can't imagine that.
Nope, no thanks.
Okay, wait.
There's another one.
We just keep going down the rabbit hole.
Go,
go,
go.
Rafi Taw says gas station sushi plus peanut butter is a winning combo.
Oh no.
What days?
This must've all been submitted at the same time.
And there was some like toxic airborne event that was like touching people on
the head.
Like the way that the Salem witch trials all started with the spoiled rye bread.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. They're all going into fits. Yes, ergot. Yeah, yeah.
It must have been something
where it's just like
all the water supply
had some sort of
crazy hallucinogen in it.
Wild.
Because people are just going,
wow.
I got a good one.
This one's redeeming.
Here we go.
M. Walters 27 says,
peanut butter toast
with red pepper flakes
is the best upgrade
or with Greek yogurt.
Sounds good.
That's nice.
Compared to the last ones, it's really great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. Compared to the last ones,
it's really great.
That's good stuff.
At Cohen Cook For You,
Korean bibimbap is way better
than any fried rice.
I'm not the biggest bibimbap fan.
I don't really love it.
I won.
You're pitting two rice kings
against each other
because there's, you know,
Korean fried rice
is probably my favorite
jeong, as the late Alex Trebek would say, of fried you know Korean fried rice is probably my favorite genre
as the late Alex Trebek
would say
of fried rice
like kimchi fried rice
to me is
really fantastic
is bibimbap
kimchi fried rice?
no it's not
but I'm saying like
he seems
I don't know why
you would pit bibimbap
against all of the world's
fried rice
is what I'm saying
they didn't ask
who to pit against it
that said Korean bibimbap
is incredible especially you get it actually served in the hot stone.
Yeah, that's a good time.
That's a good time.
Different dishes, but fried rice is one of those things that is never really taken to me.
I've never just loved it as much as, say, any noodle dish or probably even a steamed rice dish.
So, yeah, I suppose I agree with this, although unfair comparisons.
Yeah, I don't think it's fair to compare them.
I do like Bibimbap sometimes.
It depends.
Paul along the Watchtower says white chocolate should be forgotten.
Too sweet.
Tastes like a dentist's office smells.
Now, that is so specific, and I think it's the latex they're smelling.
They're smelling the latex.
Do you think white chocolate smells like latex?
Sometimes, yeah. Interesting. I do, but like a pleasant latex. You smelling they're smelling the latex do you think white chocolate smells like latex sometimes yeah i do but like a pleasant latex you know what i mean i'm not gonna go there
but yeah i know no josh stop no i know what you mean it's like oh gasoline smells good to me
oh i love the smell of the smell of gas it's so expensive right now we can't tell the kids to
i didn't tell anybody i was saying huff gas like me n kids to huff gas. I didn't tell anybody. I was saying huff gas. You said it.
Like me, Nicole, huff gas.
And so, yeah, if they're like certain foods will smell like gasoline to me.
I'm like, that's a good thing.
Like what?
Like beef stew with prunes.
That smells like gasoline.
You can't just burp like that and not say excuse me.
Bro, I ate so much tuna and cheese earlier.
I'm flying.
I had tuna, cheese, and then punctuated with a diet Red Bull.
And the burps
are weird today
but
you're horrible
white chocolate's my favorite
we got some white chocolate
Snickers in the kitchen
I'm gonna go eat
some of them
bad boys after this
I do love white chocolate
a lot
at Dutch in Japan
the sweet baby rays
is the superior
Louisiana hot sauce
because it's got
crystal flavor
with thicker consistency
I know what they're
talking about
the sweet baby rays hot sauce they the Sweet Baby Ray's hot sauce.
They started making a Louisiana-style hot sauce.
Is it good?
I don't like thick hot sauces.
Yes, you've told me this before, but I do love Frank's Buffalo Sauce.
Frank's Buffalo Sauce is good, but it's as a buffalo sauce, not as a hot sauce,
and they're different.
Oh, really?
I use them interchangeably.
Really?
Yeah.
You would just put the Frank's Buffalo sauce on bites of a burrito.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Monstro.
No.
You, Monstro.
That sounds delicious.
Are you kidding me?
I did that the other day, and I was like, I don't enjoy this.
It's not for everyone.
But no, I don't like hot sauces with artificial thickeners.
Same as ice creams with artificial thickeners.
I don't mind it.
I love it.
I'm sensitive, Nicole.
I'm a sensitive young man.
I have my sensitivities.
Brian Tum says boba tea is a soup.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Carlouf says cashews with cornichons is a great combo.
Oh my God, I love cornichons.
Cornichons are my fave.
Wait, can we go back to boba tea as a soup?
Yeah, what about it?
I agree entirely, of course.
Of course you do.
That's natural.
But we need more soups
that are meant to be eaten
with a straw like that.
Imagine like
a Italian wedding soup.
It's so fun to spoon boba.
You spoon your boba? I mean, I'm not saying
I do, but I could. Are you kidding me?
Have you ever been to a boba shop recently whenever they put all those
cool little things in there and you have to use a spoon?
You don't have to. No, dude.
You break it up. Like the egg custard? The coffee jelly? The grass jelly? Have you ever been to a boba shop recently whenever they put all those cool little things in there and you have to use a spoon? You don't have to. No, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
Like the egg custard?
Yeah.
The coffee jelly?
Yeah.
The grass jelly?
You break that up?
The lychee jelly?
Bro, I break it up with a straw.
No, oh my God, you use a spoon.
And I slurp it up.
You're on your own in that one, buddy.
I don't do that stuff.
I'm a lady.
But imagine like Italian wedding soup and you just drink it with a boba straw and get little meatballs flowing up the straw.
That sounds gross. Why?
Not for me. You don't know how to live.
I live in a very normal
way and I like it.
I think we're done now.
Nicole's mad at me. I'm not mad
at you. I've made Nicole mad. I'm not mad
at you. You're the best. And on that
note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen,
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