A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pancakes vs. Waffles

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

Today, we figure out once and for all which is better, pancakes or waffles? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Butter, syrup, whipped cream, perhaps some diced fruit or chocolate chips if you're feeling frisky. There are many toppings that can adorn your breakfast stack, but what is that stack made of? Today we figure out once and for all which is better, pancakes or waffles. This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwichwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today we are answering the question, which is better, pancakes or waffles?

Nicole, what to think? W-A-F-F-L-E-S. And today we are answering the question, which is better, pancakes or waffles? Nicole, what to think? W-A-F-F-L-E-S. Nicole, you know I never learned how to read. What is that? That means divorce. It just squiggles on a page to me. I don't know.

Waffles are better than pancakes. Wow. I am conveniently team pancake on this one. Are you now? Moreover, I've been thinking about what does it mean that mcdonald's has mayor mccheese but burger king has a king right like mcdonald's hold on no sorry this doesn't have a ton to do with pancakes or waffles but i was thinking about this really hard like mcdonald's has a democratically elected mayor in theory we don't know if there are free and fair elections we don't know if there was like an outside third party monitoring this

but burger king is like openly advocating for the return of the monarchy. I think it's weird. I think that proves that McDonald's is once and for all America's true fast food chain. Josh, we're talking about pancakes and waffles. And what does McDonald's have? Nicole, pancakes.

No, I think pancakes are infinitely more versatile than waffles. And there are myriad reasons why. I think if you look around the world, every single culture has made a pancake. And I think there is a powerful altruism to that. The fact that like, you know, Belgium, right? Like they're the ones who invented the waffle maker. And like they've, you know, spread that to America.

Now we have our own American waffle chains and all that. But every single culture, you look at John Bing in China. You look at dosas in Utapam in India, you look at banh xeo in Vietnam. Like every single culture has developed a pancake. And I think that means that the human consciousness has decided that pancakes are not only better than waffles, but I mean, I think truly one of the great foods

in the culinary canon. Waffles are the food of the future Josh it's using a specific tool to create something wonderful and that's what a waffle is it's the food of the future it infuses something we know pancake batter and technology the future fuses it together and makes a beautiful food stuff that cannot be duplicated by anything else. Waffles are amazing. Everyone's like, oh, waffles have syrup pockets, la-di-da-di, I'm out of the party,

but that doesn't matter. I'm not talking about syrup pockets, and I think that's a cop-out to say why waffles are the best. Waffles are the best because they have dimension. They have texture. They're versatile. You can put anything in a waffle maker. The waffle maker itself is innovation at first hand. I mean, just think about all the things you can put anything in a waffle maker the waffle maker itself is innovation

at first hand i mean just think about all the things you can put inside of a waffle maker you yourself put so many different things in a waffle maker you've put meat in a waffle maker i've seen i made meat pasta you've put in mac and cheese you've put in hash browns which is my favorite way to use a waffle maker but i just think waffles are delicious and brilliant and crispy and soft and versatile and uh fantastic just like pancakes but better yeah the thing about meat waffles is when you make them you gotta lay down a network of towels no you don't have to if you measure things and if you test things and you start with a little bit and then you make a tester and then you gauge how much you need you don't need to put down any towels every time you make a waffle

it's like i see like a seepage coming through like a horror movie just yeah it's discussed okay maybe i'm anti-waffle because despite having made waffles for i don't know maybe going on 20 years at this point um i can never seem to actually estimate the right amount of waffle batter that i need you really can't well every single time I think I get it right. And then I go, I should probably put another full amount that I've already put in there on top of it. And I'm like, that looks good. And I close it. And then there's just like a river of batter.

Do you know what I've realized? There's instructions in the manual of the waffle maker of how much waffle batter to put so it doesn't spill out. Did you know that? Did you know that anytime I open literally any package, I throw away the instructions immediately? Yeah, I do. I've been there many a time. I've seen that happen.

And so many times I've actually needed the instructions. I accept the fact that the waffle maker is a brilliant tool. But I think, like, you know, is it innovation or is it exclusion? Right? I think that's an important distinction. You want to talk about exclusion? Do you know how hard it is to make a perfectly round pancake no you just let gravity do its thing okay i have

to make at least seven okay i have pancake anxiety every time i try to make a pancake it comes out oblong and awkward and it just makes me sad and you know just with a waffle maker you just pour in your batter close it let go and let god but with a pancake you have to like flip it and move it and you have to see the bubbles form like who has freaking time for that i don't have time for that it's not no no you're devolving in your mom no i don't like it no just put the ego in the toaster i i do like this futuristic element of waffles that does that is something that appeals to me allowing a machine to do the work for you there was this group of Italians after World War I

that called themselves the futurists we talk about the futurism of food they wrote an entire cookbook one of my early career mentors, Willie Blackmore wrote a whole beautiful essay on the futurist cookbook and their whole thing was like shoot a quail with birdshot and then roast it with the birdshot

so you taste the metal ball bearings and the physical taste of the future industrialism of the world gets into your body. Have you ever heard of the restaurant in Copenhagen called Alchemist? They're doing weird stuff like that all the time. Have you heard of it? No.

They're like making like political points about food. Like they like have something called, I think a garbage fish or something like that i'm not sure but it's basically like a bunch of trash from the ocean that they encapsulate in resin and that's the bowl that you eat your little fish out of it's brilliant and then it's like amazing so you know sometimes food can go in that direction of political and uncomfortable and weird. But I'm just talking about waffles and how much better they are than pancakes. Pancakes induce anxiety for me. Okay.

It's a sore spot. I'm not good at making pancakes. And that's my Achilles heel. And I'm comfortable talking about it with you. Well, I think since I'm not good at making waffles, since for me the waffle maker always just overflows and ends up all over my counter and you're not getting pancakes, we're learning that these arguments about food, Nicole, they're really arguments about ourselves and that we're just taking this out

on the breakfast pastry of our choice. Nicole, you and I need to solve our inner issues before we can have an efficacious conversation about pancakes and waffles. What are you really afraid of? Is it being alone or is it pancakes? I'm confident in my waffle making ability because I can read directions. I'm not

confident in my dexterity because girl can't flip. She got weak wrists. I say this with so much respect but literally five minutes ago there was a trash can full of trash that must have weighed about nine pounds and Nicole just goes, I have no upper body strength. I can't

even lift it. I thought it was gonna be like heavy. Like, you know, we'd filled it with a bunch of, like a whole watermelon earlier. This is like a nine pound thing of trash. Nicole, your weak-wristedness cannot be an excuse. That cannot be a demerit against pancakes in my mind. You have a point. All right, so as far as pancakes and waffles go,

are we talking about like the world applications? Because I mentioned earlier, like every culture its own pancake, and they're beautiful. You and I both love dosas. We both love boute de pomme, banh xeo, all that. But are we talking about that, or are we talking like the American flapjack and the American diner waffle? Because there's also different styles of waffles. I think for the sake of this podcast and just for our mental stability, I think we should

just talk about American-style pancakes and quote-unquote unquote American style waffles. I agree with that. Although I do think, I do think pancakes are more versatile. I'll give you that much as well. But, uh, I just think waffles, uh, have a beautiful textural contrast when they're done. Right. I think they're crispy on the outside, crunchy, and then they're beautifully soft. And then the syrup just melts and kind of, uh, that almost like hovers over the top of the waffle, which I really, really enjoy too. I just think it's a more enjoyable experience. I think there are words in other cultures that we don't have.

Everyone talks about the German words. There's like, and it means like a face you really want to punch or something. But there is, I can't remember, I think it might be from Sichuan, but it's it's a chinese word that is the texture of something fried that has been soaked in sauce yeah you've talked about this with me because that's my favorite texture in the entire world and i understand that like waffles have that because like pancake batter and waffle batter they should

be different in theory right in theory i mean no i'll put a spoonful of Bisquick in a waffle maker and I don't really care. I mean, I will too, but that's because like most of the time when I'm cooking at home, I'm not trying to make the perfect anything. I'm just like, ah, I want square, you know, syrup pockets and I'm going to shove it in my face eating it with a trash can. Sure. But like to me, the best waffles, and I do love waffles.

I'm not out here saying I don't love waffles, but the best waffles are, you know, you like whip the egg whites into this airy meringue consistency, and then you're folding everything in gently to give it that rice, and it has this beautiful crispy texture on it. The texture of a crispy waffle that has been soaked in syrup, to me, is one of the more beautiful things. However, on the note of textural contrast, I remember a chef friend of mine, yeah, a humble brag, I have a friend. That's a chef. He was like menu testing a new dish and he let me taste it and he was like what do you think and i was like it's great but i think you just use that one little textural element and he kind of like slammed his hands

on the table sorry that was dramatic out of me anyways i i said that like the dish could use a little bit of textural contrast and he slams his hand on the table and he goes man just let the tasty mush be a tasty mush. And ever since then, I've like really, it was really profound to me at the time. I don't know what I was drinking. It was probably a lot. But it was really profound to me in the sense like not all foods need to have textural contrast. Sometimes you can lean into one extremely delicious positive element and just ride that out to pure deliciousness and nirvana.

And I think pancakes for me have that. It is like the supple texture, the slight glutinous chew. I will say Denny's. Denny's spent millions of dollars a couple of years ago to revamp their pancake recipe. And they did an incredible job. And right now they have the best pancakes in the game. They have the perfect texture. It's just like chew yielding to soft. And then it gets soaked in the syrup and butter. And to me, I love this beautiful just mono texture that pancakes have. And for me, they are the perfect addition to the American breakfast plate. Did you know that Thomas Jefferson brought the first waffle iron to America? Thomas Jefferson did not do squat.

Hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, let's hash this out. No, I'm drowning because you made so many good points and it's making me upset so i'm trying to create a diversion okay but what about waffle house josh you know how good waffle house is it's a house of waffles now don't bring up ihop because that will completely deter my argument i think when you say monotexture it definitely makes more sense because

I don't necessarily need that crisp all the time, but I do enjoy it. Like early in the morning, you know, you don't want to chew that much. And waffles make you chew more than pancakes. As someone who speaks often for the soft-toothed delegation of the world, people who have many crowns

and redone crowns and root canals in their mouth hole. The softness of pancakes speaks to my interests. Sometimes you get a waffle that's too damn hard. Yeah.

I don't like it. You go to Waffle House, you get the pecan waffle and the pecans are too crispy. Well, that's because of the pecan praline and the praline is a little bit hard because of the sugar, Josh.

Have you been to a Waffle House? Never in my life have I been to a Waffle House because I like it better. Why would I go a Waffle House? Never in my life have I been to a Waffle House because I like I am better. Why would I go to Waffle House? Did you order the Code Red? You got f***ing right, I did. Thank you, that meant a lot to you.

That was a beautiful Jack Nicholson. Thank you. I have actually been to the closest Waffle House to us. Where is it? Which is in Aurora, Colorado. No thanks, no thanks. Too far. I had read like Anthony Bourdain's thoughts

about Waffle House, right? He had this whole like poetic diatribe about Waffle House right he had this whole like poetic diatribe about Waffle House and how it's you know the same everywhere and it serves and affects more people than a three Michelin star restaurant and that's what makes this is beautiful yeah mimetic experience across Americana blah blah blah love me a good Bourdain diatribe about trash food um but I went to a Waffle House and like I wasn't expecting much but man, the waffles were like really the low point of that

experience. I loved it. I love getting like their hash browns that come like scattered, smothered, chunked, graved, crisped, moon-dogged, whatever. You get them like nine different ways. But the actual waffles, I will never forget this. One, we sat down at Waffle House and the server came out and they just had six napkins and like a bucket of silverware and they just dropped the silverware

on the table and just go there you go i'm like all right that was a little weird and we kind of like sorted it out ourselves and then they bring the waffles that we ordered and they were super burnt and i was like i'm never gonna send food back for like being burnt you if your food is burnt you should send it back nicole this is the reason why when like we order something for the show and it's messed up then i just go nicole can you do it because you have no problem you're being assertive what do you mean good at your job listen if okay if i burn a waffle first of all i should never send out a burned out waffle or burned out pancake because if i'm a if i'm a good person which i

would like to think the the majority of people are which is also my Achilles heel I think people are good when they're when they're not um you shouldn't send it out but if you're gonna send out a burnt waffle and I give it back to you you better remake it you know I think they would have remade it because they opened up the door in a very roundabout way. The waffles were burnt and they brought them and they just go, the waffles are burnt. They said that? Yeah, she goes, the waffles are burnt. No way.

And I go, I see that. And she goes, is that okay? Oh my gosh. I just go, yeah. No wonder you like pancakes more. You've had a traumatic experience at Waffles. I've had some bad waffle experiences. But you know where I've had really good experiences?

Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Fan-freaking-tastic. Really good waffles. I don't think I've ever... Do they sell pancakes at Roscoe's? No, they do not. Only waffles. Good. They're smart because the waffles there are really good. How do you feel about chicken and waffles? I really like it. I love it. Whenever I go, I get the Obama special because it's...

What is that? Like two waffles and three wings? I don't remember. And I also get a side of candy yams. And it's just good food, honestly. It's just simple, good food. What's your strategy for eating chicken and waffles? Because I have a lot of thoughts about this. Okay, my brother taught me this,

and you're probably going to laugh at me. So we left a wedding. It was supposed to go on until like 2, but we left at 10. And he's like, you want to go to Roscoe's? I'm like, what's that? And let me tell you, it was the best experience ever. We go, and I'm wearing an evening dress, and my brother's wearing a suit and tie, and we're just at Roscoe's.

And then he ordered for me, and then he's like, take the skin off. And I say, okay. So he made me take the skin off, and then he made me take the chicken off of the wing, and then he made me lay it in the waffle, and then I added syrup, and I folded it over, and I i cut it and i ate it like a sandwich that's smart yeah that's how he taught me how to eat it i i am someone who i enjoy the experience of waffles and chicken being on the

same table but i don't put them on the same plate why really i don't think they're good to eat together no for me like i love eating bacon and sausage with pancakes or waffles and syrup. To me, that's great. But to me, if you're eating meat with syrup, it has to be a condiment meat. Do you know what I'm talking about when I say condiment meat? Think about ham, sausage, meats that are very flavorful. Any type of charcuterie. Even pastrami, to me, might fall in the genre of a condiment.

Something like a meat that is so heavily spiced in flavor that you just make a word called condiment yeah condiment condiment like condi meat yeah yeah a condiment and so to me chicken is something i should stand alone so i just butter and syrup up my waffle occasionally i'll put some hot sauce on if i'm feeling a little frisky you know i'm saying but otherwise i get the chicken smothered in gravy and then I cover that in hot sauce at Roscoe's. Okay. And then I eat the smothered gravy chicken with my hands, and then I use those same hands to eat the waffle,

so you get a little bit of gravy and hot sauce just from your fingers. No, you don't. I swear to God, this is how I enjoy Roscoe's. Why do you use your hands there? Nicole, so many different cultures from across the world eat with only their hands. I understand that you're like a

like a paratha and subji yep so what the yeah yeah like you just like rip off the paratha with your hands and you dip that that's what i like do with the waffle and gravy roscoe's waffle and their chicken and gravy is a roti and subji not paratha i i grew up eating in a gujarati household shout out to deep's mom meliniak, for being a dope cook. You roti and subji. You take the roti and you dip it in the sauce. I take the waffle. I dip that in the chicken. That's the real argument here, Nicole. What are your favorite pancakes to eat? In the morning when you wake up and you're just like, oh, I'm going to start my day well. I've been doing so. I always rail against the idea of fitness influencers.

Oh my gosh. Are you going to say protein pancakes? I'm going to throw up. I'm the idea of fitness influencers. Oh my gosh. Are you going to say protein pancakes? I'm going to throw up. I'm going to say protein pancakes. Shut up. Well, no, I. Why? Okay.

My general strategy for diet and wellness is that I wake up and I eat as healthy as I can until the floodgates break, which is generally about like 1 p.m. for me. You know, you've seen me. We've been in the same office for a long time. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, when I wake up, especially if I do a little workout in the morning i like to make a protein pancake i've also done this in the waffle maker but it works better on a pan uh i literally just mix together peanut butter and egg greek yogurt and protein powder and somehow when you cook that all together it makes a perfect crispy pancake it is like gross and scientifically monstrous and i'll

put some sliced bananas in there but to me it just tastes like comfort also there's so many delicious flavor chemicals and protein powder that it almost tastes like a dessert or at least you can convince yourself i love malted milk powder yeah but like i don't know i don't i don't like protein pancakes i'd rather just drink a protein shake but that that's just me. I like my pancakes to have chocolate chips, bananas, and then I like to put honey on them. Oh, that's smart. I like honey more than maple syrup. But basically what I'm trying to say, Josh,

is that, yeah, pancakes are better than waffles. Thank you. I knew it would eventually come around. It's really unfair. I was like, he's going to love this. He's going to be like, yeah. Wow, I didn't think about the food of the future. That's crazy, Nicole. Wow, I didn't think about the food of the future. That's crazy, Nicole.

Wow, you're so smart. I do like the idea of a unitasking food cooking device, though, right? I do, but I don't. But it's a versatile unitasking, right? Yeah, I mean, it does one task, but you can force other tasks in there. You can take a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell and shove it into a waffle iron, and I respect that. Sure you can.

And I love the idea of street vendors that have a machine that you don't so only they can make certain things. Yeah. You know what I mean? Of course. Yeah. Like things like, like takoyaki in Japan, like little octopus balls, like you wouldn't make in a home typically.

Yeah. Or shaved ice. Yeah. Or shaved ice. Honestly, like things like that are things that I really enjoy because it kind of like respects the artisan. But for me, the like familiarity and ubiquity and just like you know this altruistic sameness that pancakes have like Nicole everyone can understand a pancake also I love that we entirely left french toast out of

this debate but no french toast is its own beast it's its own thing yeah It's its own thing. Yeah. Also, you know what's better than all of those things? Toaster strudels. Yes. Yeah. But is a toaster strudel... A hot dog? A ravioli? Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say about waffles and pancakes, but now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse.

It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are Like Casseroles. Oh my God, Nicole, we hit that in sync for the first time. Oh my gosh. In like six weeks, and that is because we are finally in the same room, albeit, I don't know, what do we got, like four and a half meters apart? Yeah. For all you people, that's like 14 feet.

We're social distanced quite accurately. Yeah, and it's cool because like me and Nicole don't hang out outside of work anyways. No, we don't. So it's like we're never actually sharing germs at all. No. Do you want to? Yeah, I'm down.

But like, I don't know what we would do. I feel like the first time we do something, it has to be like really cool. Like what? I don't know. You wanna go like roller skating? No. What?

I'm a fun guy. I like to roller skate. You want to go roller skating with me? I went roller skating on my 24th birthday and I broke my coccyx. You broke your coccyx? Almost. I should have gone to the doctor, but I think it just healed in a weird way. Last time I went roller skating, was that like a church event with my high school girlfriend?

We got into a really big fight because like I was bad at roller skating it really hurt my ankles so i like sat out and she was like you're not having a fun time and i was like only physically because my freaking ankles hurt so bad like i'm not trying to sabotage you and your youth group you said do something fun do something crazy what's crazier than going roller skating? Anyways, let's hear some of your crazy opinions, then. Me and Nicole are going to roast them. I'm going to start with a personal favorite of mine. This is from at hating since 87.

Put spam on meat lovers' pizza, cowards. As someone who responds positively when my masculinity is attacked by calling me a coward, yeah, I'll do it, man. I'll do it if you'll just say you're proud of me, dad. Josh, this was on my IG story. They're not calling you anything. Oh, they were calling you a coward? Yeah, I guess. I guess I'm the freaking pizza police.

I'm just sorry. Okay, I'll put spam on my next meat lover's pizza. Sorry, Hades. It does sound good. We're talking about the idea of a condom meat. Yeah. Spam is the perfect condom meat. But you wouldn't put it on a charcuterie board oh don't tell me what i wouldn't wouldn't put on a charcuterie board i'm throwing a

velveta terrine and spam on my next oh my god horrific let's see what's next um ginger reaper says i used to mix strawberry nest quick powder back when that was a thing, into homemade lemonade. I have some questions. In strawberry Nesquik powder, is there dairy in it? I think it's malted milk powder and strawberry powder. Is it? I have a feeling it's in that same thing. So I never put it in water, but I imagine if you did, it would turn milky.

Yeah. Right? I hate the idea of a milky lemonade well it kind of sounds like melted sherbet but i do love the idea of melted sherbet so now i'm coming around but i need to know the temperature of the of the lemonade i'm guessing it's we have more questions ginger reaper yeah i need to workshop this is there ice going on in there because i feel like if you put this in like a plastic cup with ice and a straw okay i think what you have to do is take the strawberry nesquik powder and you have to like activate it with water to like get rid of any sort of grittiness and then you

add in your lemonade yeah have you ever seen like a matcha tea ceremony yeah you know where they're using the bamboo brush i need i need you to make the nesquik and lemonade with a matcha tea bamboo brush. Because I feel like that way it would perfectly blend the powder and you wouldn't get any clumps. I think that's important to this whole thing. Nicole's dead. Nicole's dead. Shut up.

That's so funny. At Brudderedge Eats, homemade chocolate chip cookies and sriracha is a match made in heaven. Ooh. Ooh. No. no okay if it was okay sriracha can exist in a cookie dough i think it can exist the chocolate chips might kind of like turn me off though but a spicy cookie dough i'm down i like the idea of a spicy cookie dough and like we've had there's that one brand of like very unprocessed aztec chocolate oh my gosh that's really like i think it's just called chocolatel which is like

the the nahuatl word for chocolate yes that stuff is dope and they do ones that like guajillo chili in it and like that'd be amazing in a cookie the problem with adding sriracha is sweet to me and I just went shout out to Roy Choi and Kogi Taqueria which had its last day in Palms recently uh and they're on to bigger and better things they got a Kogi Taqueria, which had its last day in Palms recently. And they're on to bigger and better things. They got a Kogi Taqueria food truck, but I love their restaurant so much. And one of their OG dessert menu items is a Sriracha chocolate bar. And it's good, but one of my problems with that is the garlic in Sriracha. Love chili and chocolate, but like garlic and sweet to me is just like never a good combination. Always gets a little too funky.

But I do respect the ingenuity. Itty Bitty Chef says, SpaghettiOs are better cold. What? What? I don't eat SpaghettiOs are better cold. What? What? I don't eat SpaghettiOs enough as it is, so I don't know. This is not, pass. I've eaten a lot of SpaghettiOs in my day.

I'm not the biggest fan. I've talked about this. I much prefer canned beefaroni. But I like the idea of it cold because then it eats as a gazpacho. It's gazpaghetti-o-acho. Gazpaghetti-acho. And I like the idea of it cold because then it eats as a gazpacho. It's gazpaghetti-o-acho. Gazpaghetti-acho. And I like that idea.

Also, when things are cold, you tend to taste them less. And I think Spaghetti-O's got a real funky flavor because there's so much corn syrup in it and there's so much artificial cheese flavor. It's one of those weird tastes that I never acquired as a kid. My brother loves Spaghetti-O's. I was never a a fan give me a can of beefaroni any day at john bloodworth you can't touch your burger until you've eaten all the fries one you can i've done it i've been there man no you can eat the burger whenever you want the fries don't got to be gone i don't know

who told you otherwise um this sounds like a childhood thing like you had to eat the cheaper stuff first and then eat half of the burger and save the other half for later this is the this is what i'm thinking is going on with this person we have some theories mulling around about this one because i think that they grew up going to red robin a lot and like if you had because red robin has the bottomless fries yeah Yeah, I love Red Robin. And if you're someone with very thrifty pants like mine, whenever we'd go to like a buffet, right? My dad would be like, eat the expensive stuff first,

fill up on the shrimp, not the bread. Get your money's worth. So if you go to Red Robin and you get the serving of fries, you got to eat a full serving of fries before you touch the burger. So then you get fresh fries along with your burger. See, I would always think it's the opposite way because you're eating

all the free fries first and then you're saving the meat, the good meat for later to eat. They've already relinquished the meat to you though. They've already bequeathed their meat to you. So what you got to do is ensure that you eat that full portion of fries and then they got to give you more free fries.

They're not refilling your meat. You got that meat. You own that meat, but you're just leasing the fries until you finish that last one. This is economics, Nicole. I don't know how to pay taxes or what leasing a car means, but I understand how to beat the system

of buffets and endless fry situations. RIP buffets. RIP buffets. God, the day we can go back to Newtown Chinese Buffet in Burbank, Nicole, I, the day we can go back to Newtown Chinese buffet and Burbank, Nicole, that'll be a good day. I got a free, uh, I got a free Chinese calendar when I went there. Did you know that?

No. They gave me a calendar. Did you get a calendar? I didn't get no calendar. I got a calendar and I got a really pretty, uh, like a, like a painting kind of like a painted bamboo, uh, thing. The Chinese buffet in Burbank is just giving you gifts? Yeah, you don't remember?

No. They gave me a calendar, and then they also gave me this really pretty art piece of a painted mountain view. They don't even give me a fortune cookie anymore because I eat all their shrimp. Sorry, I guess they liked me. I'm loading up on shrimp. When me and Kevin Rigg go there, we just get three mackerel

and a bucket of shrimp and go to town oh my gosh uh ladybird 2223 i actually saw ladybird last night so this is a great name um pepsi and mountain dew convene to make a wonderful beverage called pepsi do pepsi do this is really funny and this is endearing and i'm pretty sure it tastes good so way to go ladybird i'm proud of you pepsi do more like pepsi don't boom uh no that sounds pretty good i like mixing sprite and coca-cola and then when i was a kid i would do this and it tastes a little bit like cream soda just in the way that like the chemicals kind of mingle on your palate you know and so no i i love the idea of uh soda blending i like you can have a master scotch blender you know you can have wine blends soda some a soda some actually uh when i was at la

magazine we did a really cool piece where we had a sommelier paired different flavors of haritos the soda with tacos and it was a really cool article that sounds like a really cool yeah it was one i love i love that idea and i'm a huge soda fan me too i love soda i do it like craft colas to me oh no i just like dr pepper i like to drink half a dr pepper then throw it in the sink i do the same thing yeah because you don't want all the calories from no no i just take like four good gulps and then i'm just like i hate you and i throw it in the sink yeah no we live the same life and a cactus cooler oh my gosh i love cactus cooler at wid and jennifer cheap beer and clamato juice are delicious together yes Yes, Jennifer. I love this so much.

Clamato has no application outside of a michelada, which is what I would call this. If you are not in a predominantly Latino part of the world, you might call this a beer Mary. But no, this is a michelada. It's absolutely delicious. Throw some hot sauce and lime in there. It is literally my favorite drink on the entire planet.

Do you know what my secret is to really good michelada okay i put a little bit of soy sauce oh yeah and it really really helps liven it up i've i've had like whistashere in micheladas too but yeah a little bit of soy is really fantastic in it also i love micheladas that are served with like shrimp on the rim of the beer yeah i want to drink my shrimp i want to eat my beer and i want to drink my shrimp dang it i just like the and i want to drink my shrimp dang it i just like the outside how it's like coated and like it's sometimes it's chamoy huh chamoy and tahina and it just like uh like seals the outside and you have to like use your teeth to like scrape off the side as you like yeah it's so satisfying the candy seizes right now my like salivary glands

are like freaking out because i want one so bad dude Dude, we should just go to a Dope Me Chilada bar. When we finally hang out together for the first time. That'll be our first hangout. After roller skating, we'll work up a sweat roller skating, drink a couple buzz balls in the 7-Eleven parking lot. I don't want to go roller skating. You've committed. I heard a verbal, Chris, verbal yes for roller skating.

Nicole, everyone else heard you say that you want to go roller skating with me at the Moonlight Roller I don't want to go roller skating I'm setting a date I don't want to roll There's like a craft michelada bar in East LA That like you can get an entire watermelon that's hollowed out And then it's like filled with michelada

And like a whole fried fish You know Listen to me You and I will be different people when i go rollerblading with you i'm not kidding it's gonna there's a before rollerblading nicole and an after rollerblading nicole are you prepared to meet rollerblade after nicole i've been prepared since the day i met you okay you said it underscore skylar ann underscore corn dogs need to be dipped in applesauce, then ketchup. What?

What are you talking about? Applesauce and ketchup? Oh, then. Sorry, I read that wrong. Applesauce, then ketchup? No, that's wrong. That's incorrect. Study.

Also, you would want to dip it in ketchup, then applesauce. Because the ketchup is more viscous than applesauce. It depends who's making the applesauce. Let's be real. That's right. If you're using Mott's, I go by the Mott's state of flow when it comes to applesauce. What you're going to want to do, because I agree with this, this sounds really delicious to me, the idea of applesauce in fried sausages. I would bite off the tip like you're cutting a cigar of the corn dog. Just a little moil action. And I would spit it out. You don't need it.

And then you dip that in ketchup. And the ketchup kind of creates a, what's the term? Tensile strength. That's the physics term. The ketchup has a tensile strength to it that allows it to stick. And then you're going to swipe that in the much lighter, frothier applesauce. And I think that's pretty good. I'd take that. It reminds me of latkes with sour cream and applesauce. And I think that's pretty good. I'd take that. It reminds me of like latkes

with sour cream and applesauce. Yeah, yeah. The thing that really threw me off when you bit the tip off and you spit it out, that kind of freaked me out. But no, this doesn't sound good. I'm so sorry.

You never eat the first bite of a corndog. You bite the tip off and you spit it out. I don't really eat corndogs. You do it dramatically too. Like a 1930s Hollywood mogul would bite the tip off a cigar. You gotta do that with your corn

dogs all right what do we got at joe boo 822 i really enjoy cocoa puffs with orange juice instead of milk that is maybe the most revolting opinion i've ever heard as a woman who grew up on eating as a woman who grew up eating uh chocolate oranges that you would slap on the table that was like our chocolate of choice for some reason and i don't know why like out of all of the chocolates we could get for some reason my mom and dad just were obsessed with these like chocolate oranges you could smash and then you get like little sections and you could actually see the little like like juice pockets it was so weird it was so exact that's a very like gen x boomer type of confection yeah because i grew up on those too it was very odd so like i think that if you liked that chocolate then you probably like

cocoa puffs in orange juice so it makes sense i don't agree with it but it makes sense and i understand you you're understood here. CondieECJ says, my favorite snack is the frozen ready corn. The corn is capitalized. Yes, I know. I'm not proud of it either. Hey, man. Canned corn, fresh corn, frozen corn, candy corn.

Whatever, man. Live your truth. It's a little weird. Yeah, but like, it's probably like, have you ever had like, corn ice cream? Yeah. It's like corn ice cream, but not really. There's this Filipino dessert called maiz con hielo.

Yeah, I made it. Yeah, we made it. Oh yeah, that's how we know of it. That was dope. Oh my God, it was so great. That was so long ago.

Yeah, I love corn and desserts. I love frozen corn. Also, as someone who eats frozen peas straight out of the bag, I fully respect this. I'm gonna maybe switch my frozen pea habit to frozen corn habit so thank you you should be proud of yourself condi cj all right at the snoop 91 summer sausage and nilla wafers yeah i guess so this is maybe this can go on your charcuterie board along with your velveta what was it your velveta i would make a velelveeta. What was it? Your Velveeta.

I would make a Velveeta terrine. I would emulsify the Velveeta with goose fat. And then I would set it in a terrine and I would slice it into loaves. And I would serve it alongside Nilla wafers and Hillshire Farms country summer sausage. And Spam. And Spam with the Nilla wafers as crackers. You know what? Honestly, the sweet and the spice the summer

sausage i think could work it would kind of have like a pigs in a blanket type of thing with like a really sweet biscuit dough and pancake puppies it makes sense kind of i think summer sausage is like probably it's like a really specific savory flavor right i haven't had it that much in my life summer sausage it's kind of just like a bootleg American salami. It's like if salami was flavored like a Slim Jim. You know? Like, imagine like a fancy chef in LA was doing like an ironic play on a charcuterie board and they're like, here we have our Slim Jim influenced salumi. That's what a summer sausage would be.

Yeah. Okay. Makes sense. Makes sense. Cammie Blanche says, Doritos are best dipped in sour cream. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to do it.

Who's fighting you on that? I don't care. I have an admission. So I've been on record as saying that Greek yogurt and sour cream taste the same. They don't. They don't. I mean, they taste similar until you eat sour cream after eating Greek yogurt exclusively for the last, like, I don't know, three years.

Man, what a treat full fat sour cream is. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, it's so much better. It's like next level. So I've been, I have had like a sour cream resurgence. We got like four pints of sour cream here and like we only needed like a half cup. You're welcome.

Yeah, thank you. So I brought multiple pints of sour cream home and I've just been like eating it and everything. So I love that. Especially you take salsa verde Doritos dipped in sour cream. That's money right there, brother. All right, we got,

at eSatterly, onions and donuts both belong in hell. I have a question. How did onions get coupled with donuts in this? Because they're both round, and they have a hole in it. Let's try and kind of psychoanalyze what was going on in their life. I just told you. They're round, and they have holes in in it let's try and like kind of psychoanalyze what was going on i just told you round and they have holes in it have you had an onion ring an onion

ring is a savory donut i i have a theory okay i think e saturday was left at the altar i believe that they gave an engagement ring to someone that person agreed they had a whole engagement but secretly in their mind they're just thinking like do i really want to spend the rest of my life with e saturday and then e saturday shows up to the altar ready for the best day of their life get married nicole have kids you know they're thinking about the future and then and then their future spouse does not show up now they associate the idea of ringed foods with pain and suffering in their mind. Ergo, do not like donuts and onions.

I'm sorry for your loss, E. Satterley. It does get better. Donuts are great. This is a weird opinion. I don't care for donuts, but I don't think they belong in hell. And onions are like the most, onions are the most useful item in a kitchen

for any savory recipe. Bingo. So I don't know what's going on. Yo, this next one's fun. At ChrisNitch98, coleslaw is an abomination. Keep your shredded wet salad to yourself. Oh, my God. I have exclusively been eating wet salads for lunch in the kitchen for the past week.

Here's my explanation. One, I love wet foods. Two, dry is always a negative descriptor for food, right? What is the opposite of dry? Wet. What is the opposite of negative? Positive. Ergo, you call a salad wet.

That means it's a good salad. Case in point. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or nhandizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube.

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