A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Should You Ever Send Your Food Back?

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole are revealing the certain scenarios where it's OK to send your food back! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Comparison is the thief of joy, and it's easy to envy other people's lives. It might look like they got it all together on their Instagram, but in reality, they probably don't. Therapy can help you focus on what you want, instead of what others have, so you can start living your best life. Therapy has helped me set boundaries with the people I care about in order to strengthen bonds and relationships. And yes, that includes you, Josh. Oh, I'm just happy to be included.

My therapist has taught me how to unpack the childhood trauma that still drives a lot of my decision making today, which means I can stop dumping it all on Nicole during this podcast. Thanks. You're welcome. But for real, therapy has been very formative for me and I'm very grateful that I started doing it. That's great! If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

We all get sad sometimes, right, Nicole? It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash hotdog today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash hot dog. The food was so good. Please send my compliments to the chef.

Josh, there's literally a hair in your food. It doesn't matter. A chef always deserves to be complimented. What do you mean? They sent you rockfish. You ordered the scallops. Nicole, I am so afraid of confrontation. We are not doing this right now. This is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense a hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich the show we break down the world's biggest food debates i'm your host josh air and i'm your host n Nicole Inayati. And today, Nicole, we are doing an impromptu therapy session on my inability. Another one? I know, it's become the whole podcast. On my inability to ask for what I want,

need, and deserve, because today we're talking about when is the appropriate time to send your food back at a restaurant. This is such a great prompt. Yeah. I truly think we're going to uncover a lot of, I don't know if I'll have to say this, a-holeness about each other. And I'm really looking forward to that. Well, because you and I exist, I think at opposite ends of the spectrum here.

Forgive me for generalizing. Huh, okay. I associate you with somebody who is very discerning and very much asks for what she needs in this life and you have a high standard for how you should be treated, which you should because you do deserve it. And if you are going to a restaurant, Nicole, you are entering this sort of social contract where you are paying money for a good experience, right?

For a good experience, right? And if, say, food is not up to snuff, even the chef deserves to know that the things are not coming out right, you know? Let me say this. That is a personality trait of mine, but I will say it fluctuates with who I'm with. Oh, interesting. So if I'm dining with people that have, like, strict dietary restrictions, for example, I have a lot of friends that keep kosher. And if I, you know, order a Caesar salad that has squid ink breadcrumbs, which is something I believe was on Bestia's menu, and I say, please no squid breadcrumbs, I would expect them to respect that. And I will tell them we have kosher diners at the table. It would be very nice if it does not have it. If the chef doesn't want to do that, maybe on the side, I like talk about

it because I want to respect the people that I'm dining with. But I also understand the idea of no substitutions depending on where we are. So it's a fine line. Like if I'm at Denny's, am I going to send back the hash browns for not being extra crispy if I asked for it extra crispy? Probably not. What do you mean probably not? Have you ever done that? No. At like a Denny's, am I going to send back the hash browns for not being extra crispy if I ask for it extra crispy? Probably not. What do you mean probably not? Have you ever done that? No. At like a Denny's level restaurant? No, I don't think so.

Like if they get my eggs, like if I'm at a diner and they get my eggs over medium, even though I request over easy, I don't make a big fuss about it because it's a diner. And it's not like I'm going to define the rest of my day if my eggs are a little bit over, a little bit under. I'm not that emotionally volatile about things like that. If I'm at a very good restaurant, if I'm at a five star restaurant, if I'm eating with people that I love, if I'm spending money, if I'm drinking, if I'm doing this, I'm entertaining, yada, yada, yada, then yeah, I have expectations and I would like for them to be met, especially if I'm paying an insane amount for an L.A. restaurant.

That is a very hard and fast. You should send it back if there are dietary restrictions. That are not respected or forgotten. And I would say especially religious or allergy related, right? Yeah, I think it's hard. That's a very hard and fast one. Yeah, I do think that a lot of the times i i understand allergies a lot but again cross-contamination in a kitchen is is always

expected you can't expect like you can like i have a friend who's very allergic to peanuts like cannot consume chicken fried in peanut oil and he does his due diligence if the place uses peanut oil he doesn't come to the restaurant because he knows that he can't risk it. Now, if there's like a situation where we're at a restaurant that some things are fried in peanut oil, some things are the salad is made with vegetable oil. He makes sure to double check, triple check, quadruple check. So he doesn't get sick and die and need an EpiPen. You know what I mean? Sure.

Like Julia has a bean allergy, right? She doesn't go into anaphylaxis. Happy pen. You know what I mean? Sure. Like Julia has a bean allergy, right? She doesn't go into anaphylaxis. But occasionally there will be something that is served with a bean puree that we know is easy to just ask for no bean puree.

And for some reason it's like always octopus. There's always some sort of like white bean puree. God, it's all the same. I really. But if it still sounds like a good dish and we can easily, you know, the beans aren't cooked in anything we can ask for without, occasionally we'll do if that still comes with the white bean puree no i don't know if i would send it i don't know if i would send it back and i don't think she would just eat it you'll just say i'll eat it or just don't yeah i think that's happened before oh god i really have a problem with this i think let me tell you uh when i was younger i used to say oh it's fine oh it's not a big deal oh whatever but ever since i got

married and my husband told me to ask for what i want it's much i'm i can't like if that happened and my friend had an allergy if my wife had an allergy i would say i'm so sorry there's an my wife has an allergy to this please send it back or if there is any way we can just like i don't know comp it or something. Yeah. I do that. I do that because my money, I work hard for my money. She works hard for her money. I really do.

So hard for her money. And dining out is a luxury a lot of the time. So hard for her money. I agree. No, here's the thing. You are absolutely correct. Dining out is a luxury. Like, it's tough times for everybody like and if i if if i'm going out to dinner and i'm spending a lot of money i would like for what i am requesting within reason to be

to be approachable and and done by the kitchen because as someone who's worked on the line and you see those notes you try your best to respect them yeah sometimes you know you talk shit and you're like oh man this fool didn't want any spicy stuff allergic to pepper yada yada yada yeah you have to respect it well okay so let's go into the reasons why i might be hesitant to send food back one you say it's it's hard for everybody out here um restaurants are more expensive than ever and so you are paying more of a premium as a diner so it's like it's more of a luxury experience to go out anywhere, to go out to a freaking Chipotle.

It's like $18 for a burrito bowl now. A lot of that's delivery fees because who the hell is going to an actual Chipotle these days? I do. I do. I walked into a Taco Bell and I sat down and ate there the other day

and there was not a single other, do you remember when Taco Bells were bustling and full of life, Nicole? On Halloween, yeah, after the parade. God, incredible. But I, anywho, it's also harder for the restaurants, right? What is?

Like economic realities right now. Absolutely it is. They're a lot harder for restaurants and so I feel guilty being like, oh, I know if this steak is, say, overcooked or whatever, that this is potentially something that's putting this restaurant in jeopardy. I know one steak doesn't send it.

One steak doesn't do that. I know. But I don't want to, like, make the life of a restaurant worker harder because I have the, not to be, like, the check my privilege guy, but, like, I'm eating at this restaurant. I can afford it. I wouldn't be eating here if I didn't. Yeah.

You know, I'm not a single mother of three trying to give her son a good birthday experience if he got back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I, you know, have the exposed the expendable disposable disposable income. Yeah, exactly. I'm in the same boat as you. And so I just like don't send things back partly for that reason. However, I did hit a rock bottom recently.

Tell me about it. I hit a rock bottom recently. And if you look at all the factors, this is a massive, I'm not going to name the restaurant. You don't have to. This is a massive restaurant group that has millions upon millions in funding. They will know who you are. And they had this like, it was like a $70 chicken dish. Oh, man.

Okay. And it was straight raw in the middle. It was straight pink. It was only one of the pieces that was raw. And we saw it. I was out with my brother and Julia and my sister-in-law. And they were like, hey, we gotta send this back. That is the most

unexcusable thing for one, a really nice restaurant. Two, if you're at a Denny's and you're serving raw chicken, that's inexcusable. Can I see what restaurant it is? Yeah. Yeah, it's like a $70. And it was just like a chicken breast and um i ate my brother

was like hey we need to send this back and i was like no i don't want this confrontation i ate chicken did you feel sick afterwards no i'm fine and i know the statistics on salmonella and i you know i got i know i know all this i know all this also i think it was sous vide but it was still probably 140 degrees but if it was sous vide for a while then i know the salmonella temp killing zones at 140 degrees has to be held there for vide for a while, then I know the salmonella temp killing zones at 140 degrees has to be held there for at least like 20 minutes. Point is, I literally ate the raw chicken to avoid a

small-scale confrontation with a multi-million dollar restaurant group. I don't know. Was the server attractive? I hate myself for it. Was the server attractive? No, and they were mean. And I get that. The one dish I sent back, Nicole, attractive server,

we don't know why it makes it more difficult, but it does. Psychologically, you want attractive people to like you more. In LA, you get a lot of mean, attractive servers. It's just how it's... So mean. Maggie knows. It's great. So mean. And no restaurant has meaner and more attractive servers than Jelena in Venice Beach.

Oh, they're all so... They're so mean to me. They're all onelena in Venice Beach. Oh, they're all so mean to me. They're all on their way to their big break or they're going to be on a Bravo show in two years. I had the meanest server at Jelena six years ago. I still remember. And they will not help you with anything. You'll be like, can I get this to go? And they're just like, no, you're not

going to eat it. And you're just like, oh, you're probably right. You don't want to spit in my face but anyways we were at um cool restaurant west hollywood salt salt's cure salt's cure yeah sure before they just flipped to like being a weird breakfast anyways um they had a clam dish and clams are one of my favorite things clams as anybody knows you have to purge yeah for sand right you have to purge for sand right you soak it what is it salt water or whatever and the sand leaches out uh i took one bite of a clam,

mouth full of sand, figured it could have been an anomaly. Took another clam. I ate like four sand clams. Well, you had to make sure. I had to make sure. Because of your lack of ability to confront people, you ate the clams to make sure that it wasn't a mistake. Oh, I've eaten raw chicken. I've eaten

you know, sand clams. I ate a bunch of raw eggs at a Denny's once. The French toast was just so violently undercooked. Yeah, I'm like putting myself in jeopardy. Remember this story about the Wendy's, the finger in the chili? I would've just eaten the finger.

I'm so sorry. I would've just eaten it just to avoid confrontation with the Wendy's and Blake. Can I tell you something? It's so healthy to have confrontation. You're right. And I think I don't avoid confrontation in the Wendy's employee. Can I tell you something? It's so healthy to have confrontation. You're right. And I think I don't avoid confrontation in the rest of my life. She laughs. Do I?

I'm still thinking about the finger in the chili. What was that story? No, but it turns out somebody planted the finger there and tried to sue Wendy's. Their own finger? It was like, I can't remember whose finger it was. A cadaver finger? If you want to look this up, it was was but I believe it was a real human finger they happened to have that's screwed up

and to be clear I would not have eaten the finger but that was a hyperbolic joke but I sent the clams back okay and because I was straight up and I even I prefaced it with like

hey just somebody the chef should know that somebody isn't purging these clams properly and the server like made a big deal out of it they were like well you ate a couple clams.

And I'm like, yeah, I thought the first one might have been a fluke. And then the second one? But there were still a lot of clams. It wasn't like I ate half the clams. I ate like three clams probably. Probably three clams. My brother probably had one or two. How many clams were on the table? There were probably like 16. There were kind of small clams. 16 clams, four of the

clams. You ate a quarter of the clams. You ate a quarter of the clams. But at what point do you get... What do you reach your breaking point? I sent it back and they were like, okay, well, do you want us to make more clams or do you want us to comp it? They were asking you

what to do? Yeah, they were being weird about it. So now I don't feel comfortable doing it. I ate raw chicken another time. This time it was a $50 chicken dish. Oh, you did this more than once. Yeah. Josh, what are you talking about? I don't know.

What do you mean? I ate the raw chicken. Twice. This time it was dark meat. And that makes it okay? No, it makes it worse. Okay. Josh, I think you need to get over it.

Like, it's okay if this, it's not like... It's not like the server's dad owns a restaurant, even if they do, no big deal. It's not a big deal if you send stuff back. You're not going to make the company bankrupt. I think part of this... I was about to scold you in Farsi. I was about to say, I don't know why I just...

No, that might work. That might be the thing that can actually get me out of this conundrum. I was about to literally parent you in farce. You know, it's so funny. Someone's got to parent me, finally. But no, I really don't. I think there's instances where, like, you're clearly being a little bit tough. Like, whenever I was at this restaurant in Texas one time, and I didn't really know, like, I mean, my

palate is always evolving, right? Like that's who I am. Like, I don't know exactly what I like and what I don't like. I got this smoked chicken dish from this really cool restaurant in Austin and I sent it back because I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. This is a little bit too smoky for me and my friend's taste. Is there any way we can send it back or maybe get something else? And then they said oh

this is a smoked chicken dish i'm like i totally get it i just think it was a little bit over something i don't know wasn't that great my friends didn't really like it either what can we do and they were like it's okay we'll just take it off the menu and clearly they were perturbed as well but also i realize now that i'm like five years after i guess I just don't like smoky food that much. Well, good news. You were at a barbecue restaurant in Texas. It wasn't a barbecue restaurant. You were in Texas.

I was in Texas, but it was not a barbecue restaurant. I would have never done that at a barbecue restaurant. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. Looking back, do you think you were in the right in that situation? They seem to have given you all of the available information.

Oh, my God. This is a chicken that has been smoked. You as a chef should know that chicken holds smoke really heavily, especially compared. I wasn't thinking. And now that I'm looking back on it, man, maybe I just, maybe, I don't know. I was like at a table full of like eight girls and they were all drinking. We were all drinking. And maybe it just wasn't the right thing to do at that point.

But the principle of the matter is is the customer always right no oh no no no no no that's like a weird phrase that like my dad would use to justify bad behavior at this point the customer is not always right the customer like you said has available information information given to them and it's your job as a server to make sure of that but yeah looking back on it like maybe i went like you're on that end of the spectrum but i'm on this end of the spectrum me just being too harsh yeah don't eat don't eat raw chicken uh but also don't just send back perfectly fine chicken that you happen to not like 100% that is that is so true and you know maybe we're telling on ourselves here but i don't really care

i mean it's just we're just learning to this day like you're still learning how to like talk to people and make sure that i'm not kidding i'm being so serious like like there's different circumstances like you said confrontation can be really hard especially with servers because you want them to like you so i think i think there's moments where like i can learn from you and you can learn from me. Maybe a little bit. Let's go through some scenarios in which you should definitely send your food back. Is this like a version therapy? I don't want to do it.

A little bit. Maggie, you're going to play the server. You're going to come in with a dish that Nicole. Have you ever been a server? No, I haven't. Only at catering restaurants. I was an expediter and a front hostess lady. I once had to throw away like 600 pounds of baked beans that the youth Bahá'í conference claims they didn't order, but we had proof that they ordered.

Did you have the P.O.? Yeah, yeah, we did. Anyway, so. Maggie, go ahead. Hi, I have your undercooked chicken here, Josh. Here's your dish. You can eat it. Josh.

Maggie, Mrs. Server Lady, I feel that this is putting my own body at risk. You don't need to be that serious. And I don't feel I should eat this right now. I would like my money back. No, that's not how you do it, Maggie. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to freaking throw up, dude. Maggie, please serve me the chicken. No, that's not how you do it. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to freaking throw up, dude. I'm going to throw up.

Maggie, please serve me the chicken. Hi, Nicole. We have this undercooked smoky chicken for you. Oh, man. Double whammy. Okay. I'm cutting into the chicken. Me and you are eating it.

Huh. It looks like it's drawn in the middle. I'm going to send it back, okay? Don't do it. I'll throw myself under the table. I'll start crying. Josh, I think- I'll make myself throw up if you do it. We have to send this really don't feel good Josh

It was said I don't want to be here anymore. Hold on. Let me let me just talk to her. Excuse me You can't say that anymore you just have to say excuse us on coffee Excuse me, it looks like this chicken is a little bit raw in the middle. Here, you can take a look for yourself. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Okay, do you mind if we can send it back? Do you want the chicken? I want to go home now.

I don't feel safe anymore. You can send it back. I think it's okay. Do you mind removing it off of the bill if possible? Yeah, easy peasy. Great. Thank you so much. That was the bill if possible? Yeah, easy peasy. Great. Thank you so much. That was actually pretty good.

That was pretty good. I admit that I got a little bit dramatic during that exercise where I was threatening to make myself throw up underneath the table. I don't think that that was a good adult reaction to the situation. Well, now that we know about sending your food back, do you ever send your drinks back at a bar? Have you ever done that before? No, but I will tell you what I have done multiple times. Because so many times... Make it stronger!

You will... No, no, no. Never. I've never done that. You will order a cocktail that you think sounds good. It comes and it is completely not what you wanted. Butt trash. This happened recently. It was something they called like a white Negronian. It had a dragon fruit foam on it. And it just looked like Pepto Bismol and tasted like bleach.

And I didn't want it to ruin my meal. So it tells you what I did, Nicole. $18 drink. I went and I slammed it. I slammed it. Because at some point, I didn't want this taste to obstruct my day, but I wanted the alcohol inside of me. And so I slammed it, and then I just ordered another one that I knew I'd like.

Is that a normal reaction? Like just to eat the sin of the bartender? Yeah, and that's happened. Julia doesn't like a drink. It's a margarita that's too spicy. I say, okay, I'll absorb the medicine. Yeah. It's a margarita that's too spicy. I say, okay, I'll absorb the medicine. Yeah. It really depends.

Let me tell you that also, it depends on who I'm with. It's so funny how this ebbs and flows. You know, it's called being a Gemini, man, just a chameleon. Like it depends.

Like if I'm with like friends that are very like opinionated, they're like, Hmm, this margarita. Yeah. It's, it's a little bit, it's a little bit too salty.

Like I'll just say, Hey, like, God, what do I do? I just say, Hey, the mar, it's a little bit too salty. Like, I'll just say, hey, like, oh, God, what do I do? I just say, hey, the margarita's a little bit too salty. Do you mind, like, just throwing in, like, a little bit of lime, a little bit of sugar? And they say, yeah, sure, of course. That's reasonable. That's reasonable.

But whenever it's like, oh, this is. Would I ever do that? No, but that is reasonable. But, like, why? Again, you're at, well, if I'm at a dive bar, I'm not sending back my Midori Sour. Let me not say that much. It's so wild that you order Midori I'm at a dive bar I'm not sending back My Midori sour Let me know How much

It's so wild That you order Midori sours At a dive bar It's my favorite thing It's green It's so green I got a bottle of Midori Because of you

And I've been making Midori spritzes Do you like it? It's okay No So why do you still I love the idea of it though So you mean to tell me

That you You don't send back Your own food That you make for yourself? Well, what I do is if I get... This guy's nuts. I'm afraid of confrontation with myself. With yourself? Josh, don't make Midori spritzers anymore.

Such a good drink, Josh. Thanks for making it for me, Josh. Everyone loves you and you're super cool and handsome. That's what I do when I make a drink that's bad. I'm so sorry. No, can I tell you what I do do if I get a bottle of alcohol that I don't really love is if I'm ever invited to a large house party.

I know what it is. You make a sangria or you make a big punch pitcher. I call it jungle juice. Or riot punch. I prefer the term riot punch. But if you add enough citrus and sugar to basically any liquor it's going to be good enough. So I'll make a gallon of Riot Punch

where I'll just pour in all my old bottles that I don't really like. That's smart. You can't add Malort to that, though. I'll tell you what, Malort really dominates the conversation about the Midori and pineapple juice. Speaking of which,

you made us drink the bartender's handshake. Oh, this is a weird thing that happened at a restaurant. I think the clams were off at that restaurant. I didn't say anything. Oh, yeah, they were a little sandy I think the clams were off at that restaurant. I didn't say anything. Oh, yeah. They were a little sandy. Yeah, yeah. Sandy clams.

We all ate them. Uh-huh. Yeah, and I said nothing, and I acted like I liked them. But see, that's the perfect example. I was inebriated. I was inebriated. So I didn't say anything. I didn't care.

Yeah, okay. So this is a great use case, right? I ordered a round of drinks for the bar. This was like a welcome drink for a new employee. So we had to do what's known as like the bartender's handshake or a chef's handshake I've never heard of this before. Fernette Branca you've never had Fernette? This was my first yes it was my first time having it. If you ever want to make friends with a bartender or just let people know that you're sort of in the know and this is like a weird sort of um what's the term that's not a de-measuring contest? You know, what's a better term for that?

In-group, out-group, like, I don't know. Anyways, it's to let people know that you're in the know, but hopefully it's not douchey. That's what I'm trying to say. So, wait, wait, wait. I need to get this straight because, so it's when you go out and you order Fernet Branca, that's you telling the bartender that- You just say Fernet.

And there's Fernet Branca and Fernet M the bartender you just say Fernet and there's Fernet Branca and Fernet Menta there's another product called Fernet Valle but it's not related to that but you just say

like Fernet just can I get a Fernet please yeah yeah and what is that and that's letting the bartender know that you're cool

correct yeah there's a couple there's Fernet this is so dorky I know but this is the thing no and it works it works

or like even another way you can say Chinar, right? But any of these weird kind of like. This is really dorky. Deja Steve kind of Amari. I get Amaros. What Amaro? I get Amaro and Anino on the rocks. That would probably work too.

But like Fernette is the one. Nobody really likes it. You say you like it. I didn't like it. It's very menthol-y. It's very heavy. I didn't like it. You made me drink all of it.

It's very big. You tipped my glass. What? You tipped my glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like menthol-y. It's very heavy. I didn't like it. You made me drink all of it. It's very big. You tipped my glass. What? You tipped my glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like boop. But like that, you know, nobody liked it. But we, I made the decision.

I made the executive decision. And, but you would never send that back, right? No. That's because I understand the principle of it. Yeah. So times in which you should send something back for sure. Religious or allergy restrictions. Okay.

Right? Safety issues. If there's a razor blade in your hamburger. Yeah. If the chicken is undercooked, you might get salmonella. Stuff like that. What about undercooked pasta, undercooked potatoes, undercooked rice? That is a great question.

That is... Because undercooked proteins, when they're in the temperature danger zone, that's one thing I'm down to send back. But whenever it's like the potatoes are under, what do you do then? You know what I would do, but I would say that you should send

that back, right? This happened to me at a very expensive restaurant in Los Angeles. I got a pasta dish. You've had so many poor restaurants. Dude, honestly, I don't, just let me cook for myself. Right? Well, light a candle at the table. I'm very good at cooking.

Like a Korean barbecue, man. Or just go to Korean barbecue all the time. That's the key. I went recently and I'm not going to lie, I showed up there a little lit. And I think I ate a full pound of Korean beef tartare. It was very delicious. You can't undercook your meat if it's meant to be served raw. But I got this pasta dish and I could literally diagnose what exactly happened to it.

It was super watery, but I tasted it and it was salty, right? And it was this, you know, mushroom forage, nettle, what the hell ever. Yada, yada, yada. Yeah. And I tasted it and I was like, somebody over salted this while they were finishing it. A chef came up and tasted it and said, don't reduce this anymore because then it's going to get too salty. You have to add water. But then the sauce ended up too thin. And then the pasta was also overcooked because they added water,

increasing the, like I could see all this happen, right? There was a chef that made, it's not like they're not aware that that was happening. They told him to do that, right? They were, you know, running a line. They didn't want to get backed up. They said, screw it. You know, I wish I could go back and send that pasta dish back and just go, this is unacceptable. So you live with regrets.

I do. And I'm not going to live with regret anymore. If I get undercooked rice, if I get undercooked potatoes, if I get under or overcooked pasta. Okay. And I am paying a premium for it. If I'm going to Little Pony's and paying $9 for spaghetti. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

If I'm at a nice restaurant, and this is not one of those restaurants that is struggling to stay alive. No, it's not. I know exactly what you're talking about. Do you? Oh, really? I know. Why would I even order pasta there? It was because I was there with my brother and he didn't eat red meat.

We're like so like, we're so like messy. So catty. We're being so messy today. I can't believe it. But yeah, I think such an egregious cooking error or a cleaning error like salmon and clams. That is license to send it back. What about steak that you ordered medium rare that came medium? Or a steak that is cold and over restedrested as the same place that served me

that Pepto-Bismol-ass drink gave me a burnt, over-rested, cold steak. Paid $90 for it. Ate it. Shut the hell up. It's terrible. Yeah, I think at like, I don't know,

over-rested versus un-rested steak with that stuff. I like my steak hot. I do. But I don't think I've ever sent a steak At like a At like a steak house back Yeah

Like that I kind of wish I did though I wish I did Because they're not gonna Remember me They're not gonna Keep my face Maybe they

Will they remember me Will they like Print out my face And say Don't let this person back in Because I was Judgmental about their steak That I didn't like

The other worry And this shouldn't happen In any professional kitchen. Oh, you mean like waiting? Someone grates a little bit of Fremonda cheese on your steak when it comes out. Oh, like in waiting? They're spitting in the gravy. Come on, man.

You know, I know it doesn't happen. You've heard, everybody's heard stories. I've never seen it. Come on, man. You can't be mixing Mexican and continental. Luis Guzman, come on the show, man. What a match. Luis Guzman kicked me in the face.

Continental. Continental. Luis Guzman, come on the show, man. What a match. Luis Guzman kicked me in the face. Ordering something that you didn't like and just sending it back based on taste preferences. Oh, see, like that's something that. Smoked chicken. That's something.

It depends on your personality. It depends on your personality. I don't think I do. I don't do that anymore. Yeah. I don't do that anymore. I know if I'm ordering a smoked chicken or fish dish, what I'm getting myself into now. And I don't think I will ever do that again. And they could have messed up that chicken. It was probably what, what you experienced is probably

called dirty smoke. Yeah. It wasn't pleasant. Like all of my friends were like, dude, this is bad. Dude, this is bad. And I'm like, oh, maybe it's just, I was like, since I'm the food friend, I'm like, ah, it's whatever. I tasted it. It wasn't good. Yeah, but also like sometimes a movie's not good. You don't request a refund for seeing what's a bad movie that I saw recently. It's satiating me, though. Wasn't that a movie called Satiating? No, I'm thinking of Hunger.

Where it's about the French horror movie about cannibalism. Oh, no, it's called Raw. Raw. It's called Raw. It's called Raw. Neo-French horror films are my favorite, by the way. I'm all screwed up in the head. But no, that's called Raw. Raw, it's called Raw. It's called Raw. Neo-French horror films are my favorite, by the way. I'm all screwed up in the head. But no, let me tell you, if you want to send your food back, you got to do it with respect.

You can't be rude about it. You can't. You just can't be like, this is bad. Yeah. Like, you need to explain yourself. There's a little bit of a back and forth. There's a little bit of a dance, a little bit of tango. yourself. There's a little bit of a back and forth. There's a little bit of a dance, a little bit of tango, but hopefully there's an equal amount of respect at the table with the survey

and the server. And you can, you can find, you can, you know, you can, you can stand up for yourself sometimes, Josh. And I think ultimately what this is about is confronting your childhood traumas because my dad at restaurants, he would order food and he would, um, he would just lie about stuff that was wrong with it and then try and hassle the manager to giving us

a full refund. That probably has a lot to do with it. Sometimes it worked. But you don't have to do that anymore, Josh. And sometimes I'd cry. But Josh, you don't have to

do that anymore. Now you make your own money and you make your own decisions and you're going to start a life with your beautiful partner and you don't have to do that anymore.

We can overcome our circumstances. There wasn't gristle in the turkey, Dad! Oh, my God. God. All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky idiots are rattling out there in the universe. Well, it's time for a little segment we call...

Opinions are like casseroles! But before we get to everyone's favorite segment, it's everyone's sixth favorite segment. It is dropping in the rankings, which is ironic because this is Review a Review, where you rank us out of five stars on Apple Podcasts, and we review your review. First up, we got at Kazwexplekmod Kiklefer Frivingtigig.

That's pretty good. They slapped their keyboard for a while. Is that Icelandic? Yeah, it's actually a single town in Wales. Five stars. Review this. Angry face. I was originally going to rate this five out of five because Nicole said teachers should be paid more.

But no more than five minutes later, Josh is saying teachers should be paid less. You suck. So then I was going to give one out of five. But then again, Josh said he was joking. Classic Josh move. Love the pod. This kept me on my toes. Yeah. Wow. Back and forth. Emotional highs, emotional lows. I love move. Love the pod. This kept me on my toes. Yeah.

Wow. Back and forth. Emotional highs, emotional lows. I love it. I love roller coaster ride. Going to give this a four and a half. You should laugh every day. You should cry every day.

You should tell someone you love them every single day. Do you cry every day? I don't think I've cried in when was the trial against my mom? Oh, my God. What's wrong with you? 18 years. 18 years. Last time I really cried, cried god, what's wrong with you? 18 years. 18 years is the last time I really cried, cried. How old are you?

31? 32 now, just turned it. What's 18 minus 32? 14. So you haven't cried since you were 14? Yeah, like a real proper cry. Like I may have like teared up at a movie, but as far as like, oh no, no, I cried when my grandma died. That was big.

You're fine. That was actually a big move for me. That was huge. I like allow, I do allow myself to cry. Good job. I'm proud of you. I get five stars on this, on this review. I cried when my grandma died. That was big. You're fine. That was actually a big move for me. That was huge. I had to allow myself to cry. Good job. I'm proud of you. I get five stars on this review. It's pretty good.

Teachers should be paid more, but also it's going to require a whole social restructuring. About what? I was happy tears. Yeah? Yeah. Why are you happy? My friend is pregnant. Oh, that's very sweet.

Yeah. That's nice. And my family member is pregnant. See? that's very sweet. Yeah. And my other, my family member is pregnant. See? I was like, everybody's pregnant. How many times do you think you've cried in the last 18 years since I last like really cried? Huh? How many times have you cried in the past 18 years?

If you had to guess, like say how many times per month do you cry and multiply that by 12? I think I cry like five times a month. Okay. So times 12, 60 multiplied by, you know, let's say. My math isn't good. 18, over like a thousand times. You've probably cried a thousand times since I've. My mom always told me to cry.

She says, don't keep it in. You shouldn't keep it in. She's the best. No, no. All right. Let's get to that first opinion. Hey, Nicole. Hey, Josh.

Whenever I serve celery raw, I like to take a vegetable peeler and peel off that woody fibrous outside of the celery. When I tell people I do this, I get weird looks. Smart. Smart. Like a French chef building a beautiful charcuterie. What's the other one? Rue de Thé.

Rue de Thé. There are certain vegetables that if you get the inner stalks of celery, you don't really have to do it. I don't even like celery as it is. But there are certain things that like I've decided I'm no longer going to peel.

Carrots. Carrots being the main one. You don't have to peel your carrots. A lot of people do. Certain cucumbers, you do peel. Right?

Or people do the old half peel. I love it when it's like half peeled, half not peeled. It's so pretty. You know? But celery, listen, if your eating experience is going to be made better by shaving off that extra outer layer, you should do that. I think this is, you're so classy.

A person with fine taste and doesn't have time for BS, they know what they want, and they don't want fibrous celery parts, and I respect it. I love that they said when I'm serving raw celery, meaning this is a bit of a lifestyle. I know. I like it. I'm into it. Like serving raw celery. I like it. I would love to come to one of your parties and eat your crudités. I've never loved someone enough to peel. Sorry, I spit on myself. I've never loved someone enough to peel their celery for them, but you love yourself and your guests so much. And that's something to aspire to as a future person that's going to host a lot of parties and stuff. I cut an apple for Jules the other day, and I was a granny smith, so the skin was very tough, and I peeled it.

That's so nice. Took a Y peeler at it. I cut David a plate of fruit while he was studying. Big fruit cutter and server. I'm going to really instill that into my children. Good, good. Yeah. Good, good. Yeah. Good.

Okay. I think that it's perfectly acceptable for people to be revulsed by mayonnaise, as I am one of those people. It's not something that I can control. It has nothing to do with the blandness. I can deal with mayonnaise if it's in something. It's not that I dislike the taste. It's that I have a physical repulsion to it. It's like if I'm eating undercooked eggs, and I get a bite of that like whiteness that feel like really slimy and undercooked, you know, my body recognizes that that might not be something I want to put inside of it. And that's how I feel about mayonnaise. And I hate being told by two people on a podcast that I need to grow up for that. I'm sorry. I can't control my body's evolutionary urges.

But I do love the podcast. Bye. Well, I think what they really need. Grow up. Come on. Eat the mayonnaise. Sorry. What evolutionary thing

Are you talking about Okay so there is a thing The thing they're talking about Is that They're talking about No People are naturally Revolved by anything

That resembles bodily fluids Right You know And so that's a thing Mayonnaise I'm the opposite I'm attracted to that I am too

Right Do you watch pimple popping videos I like the gross No I hate that I don't like that But I love Pimple popping videos On the internet.

But I will say, as far as overcoming biological urges, I think that is key to people living in a society, right? Like, not murdering isn't the same as eating mayonnaise, you know? But, like, people overcoming urges that they feel are natural to them, I think is very important, if not completely endemic to living in civilization. So all I'm saying is you can overcome. You don't have to. You don't have to. No one's trying to make you love mayonnaise. You don't have to.

But like, I don't know, grow up. Grow up. Grow up. I'm kidding. You're great. Hey, Nicole and Josh. I just want to say that I love your guys' podcast. And I wanted to share with you the best thing to roast over a campfire.

It is not marshmallows. And a lot of people also think it is Starburst for some reason. But it is not. Wait, what? It is Twinkies. Oh, hell yes. They are so good when you roast them over a campfire. Because they get all crispy on the outside and all warm.

And people need to know that roasting Twinkies is the best thing ever. So anyways, love you guys. Bye. I want to eat a campfire roast. Did you know that people are roasting Starburst over a campfire? No. If you Google it, there's an upsetting amount of images. That's just, yeah, they kind of melt.

Just chewy, sour, warm. Ooh, sounds like fun. Metastasizing, melting taffy. Metastasize? It's very strange. I don't like it. I'd eat it. I think marshmallows and Twinkies are doing somewhat similar things, right?

Twinkie is absolutely genius. My God. Incredible. I cannot wait to go on a camping trip and do that. Oh my God. Like truly genius. You ever go to one of them chefy restaurants where they obviously don't have a pastry chef and they're one of those like we cook everything over live fire and in a live fire oven.

Are you talking about campfire? That is one of the restaurants. But like they'll have a dessert that's like bread pudding, but cooked in the wood-burning oven. Yeah, it's great. That's great. You're getting that toasty, smoky note from the live fire. Twinkies caramelize really well on the outside because they're so sugary and so processed. That sounds incredible.

The cream in the middle gets hot. This is the best opinion ever. You are the smartest person I have ever— You deserve a— Oh, a National Congressional Medal of Honor. A Caldecott Medal. What is a Caldecott Medal? You deserve a Pritzker Prize.

You deserve a Pulitzer Prize. I'd say a Peabody Award. I think you deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. I'd say maybe even an International Association of Culinary Professionals Award. I think you deserve a gold star. If not a gold star, I'd say at least a regional magazines and newspaper. I'm trying to think. I was a finalist for.

Oh, yeah. Way to interject yourself in the conversation, buddy. It's like a real. Next opinion. I've got to look this up. Hey, Nicole and Josh. I'm Aditya and I'm calling from India. I'm a big, big fan of your podcast and everything you guys have been doing.

I recently listened to another great podcast by Indian entrepreneur Nikhil Kamath involving a few people from the restaurant chain industries here. And they were talking about menu engineering, which I found to be a very interesting topic. So I wanted to ask both of you, what is the greatest or most interesting piece of menu engineering you've ever encountered? And what are some lessons in menu engineering that you think independent restaurants should be learning

from megacorps and QSRs like McDonald's? We have listeners in India. That's rad, dude. Isn't that so cool? And menu engineering is absolutely fascinating. You and I have both sort of worked a little bit

in that side of the industry. Sure. I will say a great example of menu engineering and now a recently great addition they've had. Chipotle, to me, is one of the...

Interesting. They've become paradigmatic, right? Sure. Where everybody is now, the way that people said the Uber of whatever, the only thing I can think of is marijuana

because there's all those places that are just like, we'll drive the pot to you. But like, the way the Uber of X places are now the Chipotle of X. You have places like

Cava Grill, the Mediterranean Chipotle. Sure, it's the subway method. It's the subway method, but everything being made fresh and in front of you. They took the subway method to the next degree.

Their newest feat of menu engineering, they took their chicken that is probably a little bit under-seasoned, right? It's not under-seasoned. They made it red. They made it red. Chicken al pastor. It's incredible. They took the psychology of the way that people love birria all over Instagram, right? And Chipotle probably is, I'd say, a couple months away from adding birria to their menu.

All they need to do is- Why would they do that when they have barbacoa? Well, because birria is a much more- When Chipotle adds birria to their menu, all they need to do is add a little bit of chili puree to their barbacoa because their barbacoa they're serving is not barbacoa. It's just spicy shredded beef, right? It's cooked in vats. Barbacoa is like a whole barbecued lamb cooked in maguey leaves or whatever.

But anyways, they changed their chicken to chicken al pastor, right? Trying to make it a little bit more Mexican sounding because Chipotle was founded by a white dude in Colorado. Trying to jump in on that cultural wave. And it was probably such a cheap addition to the menu. They did the same with their steak and they turned it into carne asada. That wasn't as popular though. It wasn't as popular,

but chicken is now so popular and they have been running through chicken al pastor. Oh yeah. I think Chipotle is the best menu innovator of our time and I think the most important restaurant chain in the QSR game that we've ever seen. I don't know who's doing it better. Blaze Pizza also did it great.

I'm going to not say QSR. I'm going to go with Cheesecake Factory. One of the most extensive, beautiful menus ever to have touched down in the United States of America. It is beautiful. Everything about their menu just is, it's exorbitant. It's pure Americana. They have enough cheesecakes for what? Like every single state could eat a cheesecake.

You know what I mean? Like it's crazy. The menu is insane. It covers all of their bases. They do the Asian foods. They do the Italian foods. They do the American foods. They do everything.

But the thing is they also do it incredibly well. And it is, it covers all of their bases. And I think they do an exceptional job. And I just, I just love the way that their menu is set up. And it's so vast. You can't, you can't go wrong at Cheesecake Factory. I used to be a Cheesecake Factory hater, but now I appreciate it so much. Yeah. That's funny. I think, yeah, Blaze Pizza is the other one I wanted to shout out. They were the fastest growing QSR restaurant in history for a while. Thanks a lot, Schwarzenegger child.

What? One of the Schwarzenegger kids was one of the first investors. Oh, was he really? Yeah. I know it started by the Wetzel family of Wetzel's Pestle's fame. Is it? Smart. And so good on them for completely hitting it out of the park again. Yeah.

But everybody wants everything hot and fresh, ready-made. All the legacy pizza joints for delivery were sort of falling out of favor. Five Guys.

Five Guys does a really good job of customization that I love. You can get pretty much anything you could ever want on a burger and I think that's really, really cool too. Yeah.

Wow. Great question though. Great question. Shout out to Indy. We're wrapping or we got one more in us, Maggie? One Yeah. Wow. Great question though. Great question. Shout out to India. We're wrapping or we got one more in us, Maggie? One more. One more. Come on.

One more. Hey, Josh and Nicole. I'm just wondering if a sharp knife is actually more dangerous than a dull knife. Oh. Right. Right. I have thoughts about this. Go ahead.

Okay. So every chef has said the phrase, a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp knife. I disagree. I also disagree. And what they're saying, there's truth to it. You should keep your knives sharp. They're talking about the idea if you have a dull knife, and you're trying to say cut through an onion, and you

have to apply more pressure with a dull knife than a sharp knife. Yes. And when you're applying more pressure, more things can go wrong. The onion skin slips off. Your cutting board shifts. Your hand gets in the middle of it. Your hand gets in the middle of it. But what you have to weigh that against is if you have a very sharp knife

and you're choppy, choppy, chopping, going fast, if that sharp knife nicks you, you're bleeding. Yes. If the dull knife nicks you, I've nicked myself with dull knives cooking at friends' houses and stuff. Sure. And nothing happens, right? you, you're bleeding. Yes. If the dull knife nicks you, I've nicked myself with dull knives cooking at friends' houses and stuff. Sure. And nothing happens, right? Yeah, I love it.

To the point where I was like, if I'm using my nice Japanese knife at home that I don't even use for day-to-day tasks, if that would have gotten me, like, that could have cut a vessel. And you and I have all been there with a very sharp knife. Yes. And you get a nick. So I would love to see actual data on that, but I don't know. I think sharp knives are more dangerous than dull knives because it's like a weapon. And like when you wield it and you don't know what you're doing, I feel like it's more – you can cause more damage. Yeah.

I don't know anybody who is like – if you have right in with opinions, but anybody who has like severely injured themselves with a dull knife. I know people with extremely sharp knives in restaurant scenarios, especially. It goes through their shoe. Yeah. It's bad. It's insane. So I don't know. I suppose you should still keep your knife sharp, right?

Yeah, people poke each other on the line. Bad stuff. Bad stuff. Yeah, I've always taken a lot of umbrage with that phrase, and I think I don't want to say it's like irresponsible to say it. Umbrage? Like Dolores? Yeah, the word existed before

the character. No. Yeah. I don't think so. I think it was in the dictionary after. Yeah, it's like, do you think the shape of the goblin's noses existed before? Not to that extent. Well, thank you so much for stopping by Hot Dog.

It's a sandwich. We've got new audio-only episodes out every Wednesday, new video episodes out every Sunday. If you want to be featured on Opinions by Castrols, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1. And if you'd like to watch other videos of us doing stuff, you can go to Nicole's TikTok. What's a TikTok?

I don't have TikTok anymore. I deleted it off of my phone because I would become addicted to it and I would become a shell of a person and I would doom scroll all day instead of be a producer at this office. I'd probably go to Mythical Kitchen on YouTube instead. You can watch us do stuff there. Go to Mythical Kitchen's TikTok. It's so funny. Yeah, we do good work.

Oh, let me tell you, our TikTok is very funny. Yeah. Have I convinced you? Please go. Remember that time you watched one? You went, ha ha. Yeah. It's very funny. Yeah. Have I convinced you? Please go. Remember that time you watched one and you went, ha ha ha?

Yeah. It's so funny. Only like, that's only happened a few times though.