A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - The Human Hot Dog Paradox

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

If you are what you eat, do you EAT what you ARE? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. We've all heard the old adage, you are what you eat. But have you ever wondered if you eat what you are? Today we tackle another mystifying topic from the bowels of the internet, are humans hot dogs? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh.

And today we're tackling one of the wackiest, albeit most fascinating philosophical food topics out there. It comes from a trending Reddit thread. It claims that because a hot dog is defined as pureed meat in animal casing, aka intestines, then a hot dog does not cease to be a hot dog after we eat it. Furthermore, by consuming said hot dog into our own intestines, we become the hot dog's casing, thus becoming hot dogs ourselves. Nicole, that is a lot to wrap your head around. What are your initial thoughts? I'm not a hot dog. You are a hot dog. I'm not a hot dog.

Funny thing is, a hot dog is literally in the dictionary as someone who has a propensity to show off. Okay, in that context, I'm 150% a hot dog. You're such a hot dog. You love attention. That was one of the first things you told me when you met me. It's just like, I love attention. Because something happened where I was just like,

hey, do you want me to say this? I think it was maybe like, do you want me it's just like i love attention because something happened where i was just like hey like you know do you want me to like say this i think it was maybe like do you want me to like say hey nicole did a great job on this slack thread or would you you know are you uncomfortable with that attention you were like uncomfortable with attention i love attention why do you think i'm at mythical that's fair i guess that's true no i in that context, I'm a hot dog, 150%. But in the food term, no. I think a hot dog is a very specific food that you eat, and whenever you eat it, you do not become a hot dog from ingesting a hot dog. I don't think so. But there's got to be something compelling about it.

So can we agree that a hot dog is essentially pureed meat inside animal casing? We can agree that that is what a hot dog is essentially pureed meat inside animal casing we can agree that that is what a hot dog is and do you agree that when you chew a hot dog you are essentially repuraying this cooked meat into a meat slurry you're trying to talk about peristalsis right now peristalsis is the your esophagus moves like a snake yeah to push food down into your tummy yeah to make it more of a puree yeah yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it kind of matches it up. So when you're peristalsisizing, that sounds like a weird 80s workout routine.

We're peristalsisizing today. When you peristalsisize the hot dog, you get hot dog puree in your stomach. That may get broken down by a little stomach acid, but there's still solid hot dog smoothie in your stomach that will eventually travel into your intestines, which at that point, it is a meat puree and intestinal casing. You just said you agreed that a hot dog does satisfy that definition. So at some point, I'm not saying you yourself, your whole self is a hot dog. I'm not saying that you are any less than human, that you are any less Nicole Hendizadeh

when you eat a hot dog. All I'm saying is you are Nicole Hendizadeh plus a literal hot dog that is living inside your intestines. I think it's the stomach. Okay, if I bought a hot dog from the store and it says with stomach acid, like that's not a hot dog anymore. That's an abomination. Well, Nicole, I may have information that can shock you.

Oh my gosh. Do you know that human dna was found in normal grocery store hot dogs when run through a laboratory test how much of a percent i mean like that number of percent if i'm eating 0.015 of human okay whatever but if i'm eating like 40 human that's a big difference that's good that's like when the whole thing happened where there was like horse meat in mcdonald's burgers in france and a big difference. That's like when the whole thing happened where there was like horse meat in McDonald's burgers in France and everyone like freaked out. It's like, well, how much horse?

You know? Wasn't it Ikea meatballs? There's a lot. There was like kangaroo meat and something. But oh, I actually read a fascinating story. Do you know that there was a massive famine during the Franco-Prussian war in 1870, right? In France. So they like the Prussian army cut off Paris from supplies.

Okay. And so they like, had to find alternate food sources. And so they straight up, they straight up raided a zoo. Oh. Wait, is this, is this too much to talk about?

No, this is, this is history. Yeah, it's interesting. This is very interesting. War is hell. And you know, the French being the French, they turned hell

into a delicious meal. And there is a shot of an actual menu that has like elephant consomme and kangaroo tartare. What year was this? 1870s. That's so interesting. Well, yeah, if you're in like a sticky situation,

you can have elephant consomme, but I'm not gonna eat a human hot dog. Yeah, that's fair enough. I'm not advocating. Okay, so let me clarify my stance on this. I don't believe that humans become the hot dogs themselves i believe a small part of you technically could be considered a hot dog so if you were to have a dexter style person i've never seen an episode oh really it's so good yeah

people always send me the screenshot of a guy in dexter i don't know if it's his friend or whatever but it's a white guy who wears a hat and has glasses and he has a mustache. At some point I had a mustache and I'm a white guy who wears a hat and glasses. And so everyone sent that to me to go, this you in Dexter. What I'm saying is if someone went in with a scalpel and opened you up, flayed you open and found the nugget of intestine where there was digested hot dog. Cause again, hot dogs, when they're made, have you ever seen videos again hot dogs when they're made have you ever seen videos of hot dogs of course i have yes i i love those kinds of videos well who's the guy that did it on food network he was also the host of the kids show that mark summers mark summers

yeah but when i was a kid i used to love the food network show where he would show us how things are made like jelly beans and hot dogs yeah unwrapped yeah i loved unwrapped it was a great it was a great series and yeah i saw hot dogs being made on it andpped. Yeah, I loved unwrapped. It was a great series. And yeah, I saw hot dogs being made on it. And you know, I know how they're made and I know the pink slime and I know it's intestinal tract that is cleaned and stretchied out. But I just don't agree with that logic

that if someone went in with a scalpel and did seppuku on me and went in like twisted it up and cut it out and then I was left bleeding. Seppuku wouldn't be the right term. The right term would be harakiri, which literally means stomach slicing. Se sapuku is more referring to the

cultural practice i'm literally listening to a podcast right now about the uh pacific theater war preceding world war why are you learning so much about wars recently i'm just preparing you just got nothing to do the country's going in a weird direction nicole i might as well study up are you gonna make elephant consomme for me? I'm thinking about it. I don't know. Why not? I feel like I'd be really good at cooking during wartime, though.

Yeah. Using little ingredients for what you have. I think I would do great as a Navy cook. You know? Like, with a hairnet and, like, the greasy apron and just smoking a cigarette saying, y'all are eating beef. And then they're going to be like, well, what kind of beef, Miss Nicole? It's just beef.

Okay, so imagine someone slices open your stomach, reaches in, grabs out, and it can be Sound Guy Chris's stomach. It doesn't have to be yours. I pin Sound Guy Chris down and I take a paring knife. It's hypothetical, but it is me and Chris. Yes, I understand that. Chris, I'm sorry

that you've been dragged into this conversation. It's really not a place I would like to be if I were you. But no, I don't think that constitutes a hot dog. What if you boiled it? What if you put it in a bun? Why would you boil it? Why would you do that? Nicole, there is no why.

Yes, clearly there is. No, no, no. This is like, you know, infinity lasagna all over again. It's like, of course, you don't have, there's no human impetus. But what I'm really interested in discovering about all of this because you said you are not a hot dog but do you feel that you are better than a hot dog what what does it mean to be human because that's what we're talking about are humans hot dogs we know what the definition of a hot dog is but to discuss that we would have to discuss the definition of being a human okay it's four words a human is animal that can speak dude i knew an

african gray parrot that was taught to say curse words animal that can speak and lactates the women lactate you ever seen that uh coco the gorilla we taught coco the gorilla to speak with sign language and that is speaking and has we talked Coco the gorilla we taught Coco that what if you shaved Coco Coco the gorilla's dead R.E.P. Coco the gorilla we taught Coco the gorilla to fear death and I think that is hilarious that humans took an animal that has existed for just like millions of years and we're like we're gonna teach you about death what does this have to do with hot dogs what I I'm saying is, if you're just defining a human being as someone, you know, a being who can speak, you know, does that mean that we are our physical selves?

Like, does the meat sack that you are in, because some people tend to believe that, like, we have, you know, a soul or our mind, the ability to have complex thought processes makes us human. Therefore, we could never be a hot dog. I'm not one of those people. I think there's just a mix of weird chemical signals rattling around in our brain and that consciousness is an evolutionary trick to make us fear death. Therefore, we may as well be hot dogs. We are simply an animated meat sack. If I took a hot dog and made a marionette puppet out of it, I think that is as much an experience as being human. I disagree with that 100%. You're a human being. You're not better than a hot dog. You are different than a hot dog. A hot dog serves its purpose, and a Josh serves its purpose. Whatever the purpose may be. Josh's purpose is to eat hot dogs.

Well, there you go. There you go. There's your purpose. I don't know what else to tell you. You know, you're done. Do you remember the time we made a hot dog upside down cake yeah i do vividly that was the most excited i've ever been about anything in life i remember that which is yet another reason to devalue the human experience that the most excited i've ever been has been from a hot dog cake but again i don't think if you eat a hot dog and you isolate it within your own intestinal tract and you twist it up and you cut it out, that's not a hot dog. It's not. It's a human dog. Okay.

Could it possibly be a sausage, though? Because I hear you about your stomach acid comment. Uh-huh. Right? If you add stomach acid to a hot dog, like, because there are still rules to what a hot dog is, what a Frankfurter-style sausage is. There are certain spices that need to be in there. It needs to be a finely ground force meat is the term, similar to bologna. We could also get into, is bologna just flat hot dog?

That's another podcast. Got to wait for that one. But once you start adding things like stomach acid to it, does that then cease to become a hot dog? But could it just be a stomach acid seasoned sausage? Because if you taste like bile or stomach acid, you kind of know what it tastes like. There are certain dishes that are seasoned with, say, beef bile in it. Sure, we've experienced that before.

Yeah, shout out to papayitan. Yeah, papayitan. It's Filipino? Yeah, it's a kind of Filipino pastoral dish. Yep, we're familiar with that and i'm a fave but i love this if you wanted to make a beef bile hot dog sure go ahead and do it i think there's something about the human being being alive at one point that bothers me about the idea of of the thought you know what you're looking at me like like i was alive what do you think an animal was

yeah no no it's different i guess i just i guess i do hold humans to a higher standard than animals in that sense i'm not gonna eat a human and the things that come out of a human i'm not gonna eat nicole i don't know if i'm allowed to ask this question at work were you breastfed sure all you're doing is just eating human that's different human dna that you're consuming expelling that it's different it doesn't no it's not expect you you expelled it as a i uh okay quick disclosure i'm a uh cis het white man i don't know anything about the female experience or the body and how it works um so let's just get that out of the way. I immediately made a claim about what lactation and breastfeeding is

and then realized I don't know what it is. Josh, just because, no, it's like, that's food. That is supposed to be food for the baby. Like, that's fine. That's not cannibalism. We made, what did we make out of breast milk? We made macaroni and cheese out of breast milk And fed it to two adults

Yeah, bad take, shouldn't do that anymore Yeah, no, that's maybe a fair point Let's not examine our own practices here Yeah, no, I'm not interested in doing that at all Let's look at the kind of logical leap though On at some point in your body Whilst digesting a certain thing It becomes another food

No, I don't think that's the case at all. I don't think it turns into another food. It's just the food you ate plus stomach acid. You think that? Well, okay, so take this example. If you, say, eat a mixed berry plate, would you say that at some point in your mouth, before you swallow it or even as you swallow it,

as it is peristalsisizing down into the upper parts of your stomach, before stomach acid get mixed in them, it is just past the pyloric valve. Great. Okay. I know what that is. I have a story about the pyloric. Do you? Yes. Is it because you had to take alcohol abuse classes?

No. I just knew what it was. Okay. Oh, I didn't like have a problem. I got caught with like an empty bottle of liquor in my college freshman dorm room and I had to take these classes. Uh-huh. There's a thing called the pyloric valve, which I guess is like physically kind of drips things into the stomach, which is why when you're full, you don't get drunk as fast.

It's not because the food's soaking it up. It's because it's letting the pyloric valve open slowly. Anyways, what I'm saying is if you ate a mixed berry plate at some point traveling down your esophagus, peristalsisizing, that fruit is a mush. I know exactly what you're going to say. Are you going to say, you gonna say is that a smoothie no nicole is it is that a smoothie oh my gosh no it's not it's no it's not a smoothie because that okay that's literally like saying if i eat a piece of bread and it travels on your body is it breadcrumbs no it's no it's bread pudding because it's soaking up all the juices. Oh my gosh. It's soaking up your stuff.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. What if you eat a, what if you eat, okay, that's so stupid. That's like saying you eat a potato. It's like, are you making mashed potatoes going down? Correct. No. Yes, Nicole, open up. Josh, I don't want to.

Okay, okay, okay. Let's, let's, let's travel upwards in the digestion. But, but see, but see, the thing is you, you thing is, are you considering the food that's traveling down your esophagus and not being touched by any sort of acids in the stomach to break it down? Is that considered an intestine? Well, no, it's not an intestine. But I'm saying the hot dog is cased in an intestine. So that's why the intestine matters.

But I'm saying at some point when food enters your body, can it change form? Take this example example so the digestive process technically starts in the mouth with saliva right yes how many of us do you think have eaten other people spit oh so much all of us all of us whether it's intentional or not all the time you know so like that's another thing that we we have consumed that form of human dna when you take a bite of a crunchy taco after first bite, the outside of your mouth is still a taco, yet the inside of your mouth,

there is a mini nacho plate. Think about it. The shell is broken apart. Okay, my mind is open. My eyes are closed. Yeah. I'm imagining myself eating a taco,

a crunchy taco. Put yourself inside your own mouth. Okay. No problem. Let me just hold on. You've bitten the taco shell? Mm-hmm. It's a crunchy taco from Taco Bell. Great.

It is not steamed. It has not gotten soggy. Oh, great. Still perfectly crispy. Okay. You bite into it. It is broken into exactly eight misshapen shards. They look so similar to tortilla chips.

There's beef. There's cheese. There's hot sauce. There are little vegetal condiments. Okay. Maybe you paid an extra 30 cents to add that weird electric green guacamole that I don't think

has avocado in it. I think I did, yeah. Of course you did. You're bougie. Yeah, you know. You love attention. I do. I'm such a hot dog.

Inside of your mouth, if you were to extract it, that is simply a nacho plate. No, that is a chewed up taco. But can there be any difference?

Are nachos just chewed up tacos? Is that what you're trying to say to me right now? I don't know. I don't know. I'm't know what you're saying. I'm saying, but let's not go to nacho. We're talking about inside your own body.

That is a nacho plate. It's a nacho plate with spit, sure. But how many nacho plates have I gotten where I'm with my a-hole friends and they don't tip and I get spit in my nachos? This is what I'm saying. The addition of the human body and the acids and the liquids and the secretions

don't make it a an edible thing anymore i don't want to do that but you're you are currently eating it but if i take it out but if i take it out and then i wrap it in an intestine is that okay i'm eating a hot dog and i'm masticating it in my mouth mom that's the masticating and i spit it out and then iasticating. And I spit it out, and then I take an intestine, and I wrap it around, and then I boil it. That's not a hot dog to me anymore. That's just chewed up meat garbage. It's kind of like boudin, or like, what's it, induya. No.

Because once you're chewing it, it's not going to seal back together. But like induya, you cut open the intestinal casing, and there's that spreadable sausage. Oh, no. We're not going there. You're making mouth hot dog induya. I'm not making mouth're not going there. You're making mouth hot dog andouille. I'm not making mouth hot dog andouille. You're making mouth hot dog andouille, in my opinion. Okay, I don't think so.

I think once it enters your body and any sort of, like I said, any sort of secretion just goes into there, it's no longer its pure form. I'll agree with that. I'm not saying it's the most perfect plate of nachos. I think that if I took the perfect taco, and I put it in it in my mouth took one bite spit it back out on a plate that would be a better plate of nachos than many nachos that i have eaten i don't in the same way that i'm not saying it's a good hot dog if you cut it out of your intestines and boil it

i'm not saying that you physically become the hot dog i'm just saying that it is technically considered a hot dog josh i love you but this is unacceptable like i i don't understand like do you have no moral compass i have a moral compass it just doesn't work you have it you have an a moral compass or you have a moral compass it's illegal to eat people yes you can't it. You're not allowed to do it. Yeah. Why come? You can get sick. You can get sick.

Nicole, you can't. You're not even supposed to wash your chicken in the sink, according to the USDA, because chicken can kill people. You get mad cow disease from eating people? Do you think mad cow disease is more likely to come from humans or, you know, cows? Well, then there's some... Mad cow disease is the reason that traditional haggis in America

cannot be served because it has lungs in it. And there's a mad cow outbreak. So I'm saying the entire food system is a nightmare. So there was a guy on Reddit who ate his friend, right? Well, no, he didn't like to eat his friend.

His friend, like, he was, I think, getting surgery, like a biopsy or something, and like a little slice of his skin and muscle was taken out and he like cooked it and ate it okay and i think he got arrested i think it was like straight up illegal uh yeah it should be you ever see the video where that lady would uh she was making a recipe and she like put food in her mouth yes yeah she chopped it up with her mouth and she's like she was making stuffed turkey right stuffed chicken yeah yeah horrific video absolutely disgusting was that was that confirmed that it was real or was she just trolling i don't

know i hope it was fake because that is that's just like that's a horror movie for me i don't necessarily do that but the other day i was making a smoothie not in my mouth i was doing it proper in the blender little humble brag i can afford a blender it's hamilton beach might have heard of it i mean they're fine i use them at home i get i've been using the crappiest appliances uh for a long time um but i was making a smoothie and i had fresh strawberries i didn't want to get out like a cutting board and a knife and so i just um bit into the leaves and then just spit it into my garbage disposal that's disgusting why isn't that there was this whole seinfeld episode where kramer makes like a whole meal in his shower. I respect that.

That's wrong. That's wrong, my guy. That is unbelievably wrong. Secretions! The secretions make it inedible. If you are putting body fluids in your food, you should just not eat it anymore. For the record,

I don't think we should be putting our own body fluids in food. There is a certain amount about that. Really? Because you just said the opposite. I'm having a lot of regrets for things I may have said. What I'm saying is,

Nicole, when's the first time you had a hot dog? The first time I had a hot dog was whenever my mom and dad, I'm going to tell you. So my mom and dad were having a party, okay? It was my third birthday. And we had caricatures come to my birthday. We had Barney and Baby Boop. And then I also had a party okay it was my third birthday and we had caricatures come to my birthday we had barney and baby boob and then i also had a train that was in my house that went

all the way around my house like it was a train that went through the living room through the kitchen into the dining room made a circle and then uh we had a bunch of hot dogs and it was delicious and then the most recent time i had a hot dog i went to this uh kosher deli called jeff's gourmet shout out to jeff's gourmet i love your western burger uh and i had a hot dog I went to this uh kosher deli called Jeff's Gourmet shout out to Jeff's Gourmet I love your western burger uh and I had a merguez sausage and my mom and dad were like why are you eating hot dog and I'm like what do you mean it's good like hot dog is bad for you hot dogs aren't aren't great for you to be clear no they're not but they're delicious I sure do love hot dogs vegan hot dogs I love vegan hot dogs because they're so close to normal hot dogs

because hot dogs are already so far processed yeah it's just like, yeah, might as well be eating like some carrots with MSG in it or whatever. Yeah. Wait. Okay. Hold on. Another thing. We're talking about like temporal specificity as it relates to food.

So as in like at some point in your mouth, when you eat a taco, it then becomes nachos. I'm not agreeing with that statement at all. I'm not agreeing with that. This is my official position on it, but there's actually a lot of philosophical implications in that as it relates to food definitions, including the one that this podcast is named after, which we've never actually talked about, and we will never talk about it.

We shouldn't talk about it. I don't think we should, right? Yeah, we should respect the anonymity. Yeah, I don't even know if a hot dog is a sandwich or it's not, but... A sandwich is a hot dog, though. Yeah, all sandwiches are hot dogs. Yeah. We can agree on that.

Yes, yes. Anyways, the point is, a lot of people, when we even say the name of the podcast, dog though yeah all sandwiches are hot dogs yeah we can agree on that yes yes yeah anyways point is a lot of people when we even say the name of the podcast so hot dogs at sandwich people just start debating us on twitter right which i love which i love it's very fun and that was kind of like one of the reasons we wanted to name the podcast this because it just ignites people people are very passionate and doing the dumb stuff that we do every day that we that makes time pass quickly in the office yeah but a lot of people will post just like simply the google merriam-webster definition of sandwich which is like something something two slices of bread everyone's like see gotcha you moron hot dogs

aren't sandwiches all sandwiches have two slices of bread and then we're like subway is the world's largest restaurant chain in the history of human existence they sell sandwiches on one piece of bread are you saying they don't sell sandwiches and they're like but anyways people people like to take the dictionary definition and we talked about this a couple weeks ago with the word irregardless now being in the dictionary yeah but let's take a dictionary definition and seem to imply that that is a universal truth we We're talking about tacos being crunchy and crunch in your mouth. 99.9% of the world's tacos are not crunchy. I understand that, yes.

But the dictionary definition, at least the American Merriam-Webster dictionary, says tacos usually crunchy, likely filled with ground beef, cheese, and lettuce. And that is such an upsetting definition to me there are i'm sure there's other upsetting definitions in the miriam webster dictionary we just haven't there sure are them yet but i found that definition of taco and it was just like weirdly upsetting to me because i was like what a very like white american viewpoint yeah and like it's i know they're talking about the taco bell taco but it's like that is 0.01 of the taco's existence throughout history.

So what you're trying to say is you're trying to dismantle Merriam-Webster. I am trying to overthrow Merriam and Webster, unless that was one person named Merriam-Webster. I think it's the last names of two people because there's a hyphen. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. But I was talking about temporal specificity.

Like, if you had a sandwich, right? Two slices of bread, let's say it's a PB&J. And then the wind comes and blows the top bread off, right? In that state of being, as the top bread is being removed, does it cease to be a sandwich and then become an open-faced sandwich? An open-faced sandwich is still considered a sandwich, right? I don't believe so.

It's a toast? I don't believe an open-faced sandwich is a sandwich. I believe it is simply an open-faced sandwich is still considered a sandwich, right? I don't believe so. It's a toast? I don't believe an open-faced sandwich is a sandwich. I believe it is simply an open-faced sandwich. Well, if it's toasted, it's toast. Here's the thing. What does this have to do with the prompt? No, because I'm saying that you need to deconstruct your definition of what a hot dog and a human is.

Nicole, you have to look inside your own psyche and realize that a hot dog is just as is nicole you have to like look inside your own psyche and realize that a hot dog is just as sentient as you you know it's not a hot dog is not as sentient as me i am an active have you seen sausage party active yes and it's it was great what was what was the the racist pita was that what it was yeah something like i can't remember yeah yeah it was a play by what a great movie yeah salma hayek played a sexy taco what i'm saying is there's an entire spectrum out there i'm reading a book right now called the secret commonwealth it's all about elves and fairies and stuff and nicole there's stuff that we cannot see in the world who is to say that our universe is not simply the atom in the fingernail of a giant.

And who's to say that, Nicole, hold on, that all the atoms in our fingernails could not potentially contain individual universes themselves? That's very likely. But if I slice into my stomach when I have hot dog in it, it's not hot dog anymore. Yeah, you gotta boil it. Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse.

It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. First up, we got at Breedcraft, chicken liver tastes like a clump of bone marrow. Those are two contemporary things. That'd be like saying, a hot dog tastes like a sausage. It's like, well, you're not wrong, but why are you saying this? What are you implying? Are you saying that bone marrow is bad?

Because both of those are just really delicious things that I like to spread on toast. I feel like this is more of like, broccoli tastes like Brussels sprouts. Yeah. You know? I think sausage and hot dog is like a little, like, philosophically. It's like saying a bratwurst tastes like brussel sprouts yeah you know yeah i think sausage and hot dog is like a little like no you're right it's like saying a bratwurst tastes like a knockwurst yeah that that doesn't get us anywhere but this is taking two similar things and saying they are uh

they taste alike uh there's certain notes in bone marrow for sauce all fat like straight up fat and chicken liver is just beautiful minerally bloody delicious deliciousness. I love chicken livers. It's been so long because all restaurants have been closed. It's been so long since I've had it like awful. Yeah. Cause like, I just, you know, I've cooked bone marrow. I've cooked a lot of chicken liver, especially pate and fried in my own home. But like, if I'm just like going out to the store once a week, like I'm not going to, you know, pick up a pack of chicken livers just on the off chance I'm going to be craving them throughout the week. Sure. I miss that. I miss eating fancy chicken liver toast. Me too. I like frying. Have you ever had of chicken livers just on the off chance I'm going to be craving them throughout the week. Sure. I miss that. I miss eating fancy chicken liver toast.

Me too. I like frying. Have you ever had fried chicken livers? I have. Before I worked here, I made Dorito crusted chicken livers. Really? Yes. One time I fried chicken livers when my mom was out of town,

and then I didn't know that chicken livers were so volatile, and it literally sprang up in my face, and then I quickly got one of those shields and I covered it. But I still to this day have chicken liver grease probably on my ceiling. That's so funny. Next up, Brie craft again. Thanksgiving food should never be mixed together. So a lot of people have a sensitivity to food where they cannot have other food touch their

other food like on their plate. Nicole, this is just the guys that you've dated in the past. Josh, no, it's not. They're not. It's not about that. Why do you always bring up my relationships? You brought them up. You brought them up in literally the last podcast.

What are you talking about? Get up. I'm saying it's fine. Like I understand if you have like a severe like discomfort, like sensitivity, anxiety induced thing to it. So that's okay. Except have you ever mixed your macaroni and cheese with a little bit of the sweet potatoes and then got a corner of cranberry

sauce that's like so good i i i love i love mixed man food no i totally hear you on people and i know i mean i don't know if this is i'm certainly not a doctor and probably shouldn't be but like i i feel like i have met a lot of people who have either clinical anxiety or OCD and mixing their food is like a huge pain point. And I don't mean to, you know, make any sort of light of that. Me, on the other hand, I view it just as an artist's palette. I see a Thanksgiving plate and I'm just like, which of these ingredients can I mix and match to create the perfect bite?

A thing I've noticed, certain things do disgust me, like cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes. You don't like that. I hate when they touch. Okay. I almost don't like cranberry sauce on anything except for every fourth bite of turkey. I go three bites of gravy and then one bite of turkey with cranberry sauce. Sure. But yeah, but taking like gravy and mac and cheese and then, because there's no other time in

life where it's acceptable to put gravy on your mac and cheese except for Thanksgiving. I've never put gravy on my mac and cheese, but also. I've never put gravy on my mac and cheese, but also my Thanksgiving's are a little different because I have Persian Thanksgiving, which means that sometimes I have like marshmallows on my sweet potatoes. And then I also have like a cherry rice

with like a turkey necks. Really weird. Is that al balo polo? Yes. Josh, you can come to the cookout. Hey, I'm invited to the Persian cookout. You can come to the, you can come to the kebab restaurant., I'm invited to the Persian cookout. You can come to the kebab restaurant. All right, at one psycho to another, heard that.

Dinosaur nuggets are disgusting. You really are psycho. No, dinosaur nuggets are, they're, okay, so technically I would argue they're probably a bottom tier nugget. If we are really looking at the facts of how they taste, the seasoning on it, the percentage of actual chicken inside there,

the crispiness of the breading. However, every chicken nugget is like scientifically designed to make your body crave it with all just the MSG and the fat and the carbs. It's like the perfect food. So they're not disgusting, but I guess really looking at it, they are kind of a bottom tier nugget,

but they're so fun. You got pterodactyls dinosaur nuggets are good eats you need to chill out one psycho to another all right nicole b92 says adding fritos to any food instantly makes it better they add a delicious salty crunch i agree i could imagine fritos on almost every single food in the world and i would love it like yeah anything everything josh say a dish josh oatmeal uh delicious put some fritos on beef wellington oh my god fritos hell yeah cream cheese oh especially that yeah yeah yeah one more one more uh uh uh fried alligator oh uh frito fried alligator uh yeah next stand and stir i actually prefer fritos as a cooking ingredient

than I do as a normal chip to eat by themselves. I love Fritos. I think it's- They have a deep corn flavor to them. It is a deep corn flavor. Deep corn, the deepest corn. Yeah, love it. At Devour the Flour,

spicy nacho Doritos with smears of Philadelphia cream cheese is dank. I don't care what people say. I don't, if, devour the flour. If anyone is criticizing you for this, they do not have taste. They are not a person of class or moral wealth. I think this is delicious.

I love, cream cheese, I need more cream cheese in my life. Frankly. It's good in everything. It's really good as an ingredient if you're like building a sauce too, if you want to cheat it

and you're like, I'm too lazy to make a real bechamel. Just dump cream cheese in like your nacho cheese sauce oh i throw in a cube of philadelphia in my pasta sauces and it is just takes to the next level philadelphia cream cheese please sponsor us we love you so much i am in a bagel group i'm a group of in a facebook group about bagels and your name comes up a lot and i always defend you because you're the best cream cheese ever and i also love whipped cream cheese. Do you like whipped cream cheese?

No, I'm not a fan of whipped cream cheese. I don't like the air obstructing because every pocket of air in whipped cream cheese is where more cream cheese could be. It's such a textural treat. I don't like it. I like the denseness of cream cheese.

I like my teeth physically chewing through the chewy bagel and the dense cream cheese. What is your bagel order? When you go to dense cream cheese. What is your like bagel order? Like when you go to like a bagel shop, what is your bagel order? So it all depends what their offerings are. But I mean, everything bagel, first off, it's either everything bagel or sesame bagel. Occasionally I'll get weird with it if I'm like, I have no opposition to getting like a blueberry bagel or cinnamon raisin bagel with strawberry cream cheese.

Yeah. But my most common bagel order is everything bagel toasted with cream cheese lox red onion capers mine is jalapeno cheddar bagel yes black pepper cream cheese and then i put onions and then i put avocado i put cucumber and then i put salt pepper and tapatio all over that. That sounds so good. I want that right now. I know, me too. But I do love a burnt sesame bagel with just normal cream cheese.

Actually, scallion cream cheese is my favorite. Oh, yeah. You know what? I hate vegetable cream cheese. Yeah, the mixed veggie cream cheese? No one needs that. It reminds me of going to the 99 cent store with my mom and she's just taking the whole shelf.

I'm just like, no, it's the worst cream cheese. It has pieces of carrot in it. It's weird. Um, I do love the cream cheese where they just take the smoked salmon and they just blend it in there. They'll take like the trim of the smoked salmon.

Oh no. What an abomination. Everyone thinks it's an abomination. I love it. You're like, it's like you're curing the salmon again in the cheese. Oh my God. I love that

stuff it's cheap expensive debbie's piano teacher used to eat that by the spoonful while she was teaching it's low carb okay condi cj says fruit does not belong in chocolate it makes it far too rich do you mean like in a bar of chocolate like adding dehydrated strawberries i think they might be talking about like chocolate covered strawberries oh yeah chocolate okay it's so gross i hate chocolate wait you do oh my god i do too i don't know how they represent romance romantic situations because the chocolate is so hard and the strawberry is so juicy and like they mix it together and you're just like yeah the most romantic food is taquitos everyone knows that you share taquitos with your lover oh my god like one end and you hold the other end oh no yeah yeah taquitos are romantic chocolate covers strawberries are an abomination

yeah no i i actually don't i typically don't like acidic foods with chocolate at all so i've never understood like because chocolate's acidic cherry and chocolate yeah i mean chocolate it's it's acidic it has its own acid to it but it's also like fatty and bitter and sweet and you're just like adding this element that to me clashes so hard like if you ever had like lemon juice with dark chocolate it's like terrible it's like brushing your teeth and uh eating orange or drinking orange juice and brushing your teeth so i i don't like the fruit and chocolate thing i i'll settle like i like dark cherries and chocolate yeah i think for me that bridges the gap and i love bananas and chocolate because bananas aren't fruit they're a potato you're so funny right now

what happened i don't know what do you mean what happened well i got bogged down in talking about and chocolate because bananas aren't fruit they're a potato you're so funny right now what happened i don't know what do you mean what happened well i got bogged down in talking about eating yeah i think that the whole like uh the actual podcast made you like sad but now you're so happy we we cover a lot of very deep topics yeah i started thinking about like is my life really as meaningless as the existence of a hot dog no and i and no no hold on i came to the conclusion that yes but that's okay oh it's optimistic nihilism it's like we're we're everything means nothing but that's fine because everyone's been in the same boat for all of human existence yeah yeah um i'm a really big fan of blueberries and chocolate it's great but i like dehydrated fruit is good with chocolate in in my opinion. I agree with that.

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Bye. I think I forgot my roasted garlic in the oven, but I also think I forgot to turn the oven on. Yeah, I think that's exactly what just happened. Dang it. Josh.

Oh, well.