A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What Makes A Perfect Burrito?

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

A flour tortilla wrapped cylindrically around a myriad of different ingredients, a burrito is so much more than the sum of its parts. This is our love letter to perhaps the greatest food delivery system ever devised by human hands. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. A flour tortilla wrapped cylindrically around a myriad of delicious ingredients, a burrito is so much more than the sum of its parts. This is our love letter to perhaps the greatest food delivery system ever devised by human hands. Today we ask, what makes a perfect burrito? This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today we are answering the question, what makes the perfect burrito? So I wrote a little sentence and it says, a perfect burrito is a full meal, Mexican or not, wrapped in a tortilla with plenty of sauces for dippage and no rice inside. That is a perfect burrito to me. No rice inside. Okay, so I'm saying the perfect burrito is made up of no less than five perfect components.

Something meaty, something starchy, something creamy, something spicy, and something crunchy. And it all creates beautiful flavor harmony. You should be able to taste each individual component, but they should all come together in an antique gestaltian, the sum is greater than the total of its parts. That's what I think. But I'm also a walking contradiction, right? Because my favorite bite of food in, I suppose, the entire world, definitely in Los Angeles, is a burrito from Burritos La Palma.

It is, to me, the Burritos La Palma, Chicharron Burrito, is the single greatest bite of food. You get the butt end of it, the last bite. It soaks up all the juices like a soup dumpling. You get that like sumptuous, jiggly pork skin. And it's beautiful. However, it's not my favorite burrito it's a paradox because to me like the burritos that i love the burritos that made me love burritos from childhood are these like giant pound and a half to nine pound monstrosities filled with rice

and beans and sour cream and guacamole like at the socal taquerias that i grew up on they were called like super burritos you know the taquerias you go to and it's like, do you want to make it super for a dollar 50 extra? And you never quite know what it means, but you always, but you always have to do it. It's like this beautiful exercise in trust to the taquero or I suppose the burrito at the taco shop that you're like, yeah, dude, make it super. No, I totally agree with you. But what is, what is it about burritos La Palma? La Palma that's your favorite bite of food, but not your favorite burrito? Is it, what's in it?

I've actually never been, but I've heard it's really, really good. I just don't know. Is it just meat wrapped in a tortilla? Hold up, you've never been to Burritos La Palma? No, not yet. Oh my God, how have I never taken you there? I don't know.

You never take me anywhere nice, John. Are you kidding? We went to Red Lobster back in December That's nice That Red Lobster meal was still to this day One of the stupidest meals I've ever experienced We each got like nine courses of food Trevor I believe got food poisoning

And threw up on an aeroplane from eating undercooked scallops That when I tasted I went Trevor those scallops are raw You're gonna get sick it was like I'm fine oh feels like yesterday all right so burritos La Palma I used to think that they did like a regional style of burrito they're from the city of Jerez and Zacatecas in Mexico and I always thought it was like a regional style of burrito that came from there because regional burrito styles do exist we might get into that later but turns out it's kind of just something that they invented themselves they opened up their

original restaurant in mexico but it is the perfect flour tortilla which one reason i love burritos so much is flour tortillas are so beautiful like the glutinous chew and then it's just enough fat to kind of like make it translucent and so burritos a palma it is just flour tortilla and then a scoop of stew rolled up and served to you and it is the most beautiful simple expression of food possible and it is so good just textural contrast it's spicy it's aromatic they do uh birria de res so like shredded beef and then their chicharron uh so like the pork stew uh chicharron de guisado, the like stewed pork skin. And so it's like so simple.

It almost eats as a dumpling. But to me, like when I think of a burrito, like I don't want to say that obviously Burritos La Palma, they know what they're doing. They're serving burritos. They're called burritos. But for me, like it eats more like a taco. When I think of a burrito, possibly because of my upbringing and regionality, I'm thinking of something that is wrapped in foil that you can hold in your pocket because that's where I stash my food,

like a chipmunk in my front pocket. The groin warmth keeps it toasty. What? I'm just saying. And it kind of steams it from the inside. That's like girls that put mascara in their bras to warm it up before they put it on. Same exact concept. You just put yours in your grendel region to keep it moist. I'm basically a beauty influencer, is what you're saying.

Yeah, pretty much. You're a burrito influencer. Okay, that was bad. But I agree. That's definitely a burrito. But like you said, it doesn't have something crunchy something creamy something starchy other than the tortilla I mean it what you described sounds so delicious because I know all of these flavors like birria de res and like chicharron I love

all of those flavors so much and that sounds phenomenal but I feel like you're missing a few of your components that make you really like jump for joy because i've seen you also thank you so much for teaching me how to wrap a burrito properly because before you my one time josh listeners listen to this one time i was making burritos for an episode of gmm and then josh looked at me he's like what are you doing and i'm like wrapping a burrito and then he's like why is the tortilla not warmed and I'm like what do you mean he's like you always warm a tortilla before you wrap it because it makes it more pliable and I was like oh life changed so I mean you're definitely really like insightful when it comes

to the burrito world but the one thing I just can't wrap my head around ever is rice in my burrito i feel like it's just filler and i feel like maybe it's because i'm persian and like rice is such an important part of my culture that like that's the rice i want to eat all the time and like anything other than that just seems like fake does that make sense i feel that and i see what you're saying about the filler thing like if there's a component in a burrito it should have some sort of value to add other than just being like a kind of like flavor suck, right? Yeah, some people love the rice. They think the rice is the main star of like a dish

or like a plate of tamales, like having a side of rice or like a plate of flautas having some rice on the side. But like, I've just never liked it. And I feel bad for not, it's like kind of like a guilt thing because I know it's such an important like part of Mexican cuisine. I've just never really cared And I feel bad for not. It's kind of like a guilt thing because I know it's such an important part of Mexican cuisine. I've just never really cared for it in my burritos. But rice inside a tortilla is not a big thing in actual Mexican cuisine. That style of burrito, it's what people call a mission style burrito, which originated in San Francisco.

In the mission. In the early 1900s, yeah. And so that is where Chipotle, which has now taken over the burrito world, that's where Chipotle founder Steve Ells got his inspiration for. He was like trying to raise money to open up his own fine dining restaurant in Colorado.

And then he decided to open up a burrito shop based on what he saw in San Francisco. And so he started like, you know, doing this assembly line thing, putting rice and beans and all this in there. And so he started like, you know, doing this assembly line thing, putting rice and beans and all this in there. And I love that style, but I don't love Chipotle. Like I have such weird feelings about Chipotle. I've gone on record as publicly-

It's the subway of Mexican food. It's the subway of Mexican food. And I feel like it didn't used to be that way, but I suppose it always did. Maybe I didn't used to be this way. I think I am the one who changed and like it didn't used to be that way but i suppose it always did maybe i didn't used to be this way i think i am the one who changed and chipotle didn't because i almost don't consider chipotle a burrito i might consider chipotle a wrap why you gotta do that that's not true i don't know hold on like okay let's let's define our terms here right because a a burrito it is filling rolled up inside of a flour tortilla with the ends fully

tucked in, right? That's like probably the most that we can define it as. But I think there has to be some association to Mexico inside of that, right? Because otherwise, like if you go to Subway, you can get a tortilla with turkey and avocado and bacon inside of it. And that certainly isn't a burrito. That's a wrap in my cookbook that I wrote. I'm not plugging my cookbook shamelessly in this podcast,

but I sure am available on Amazon for $12.99. I wrote an essay. It's called Culinary Bro Down. That's the name of it. You know, I almost called my blog Barbells and Burritos. I'm so glad you did it. I'm so glad I didn't too. It would have been a heck of a logo though.

But anyways, I wrote this essay called on the concept of white people tacos. And I wrote all about the difference between a burrito and a wrap that at some point in the 80s, during this like low carb boom, white people discovered the flour tortilla, and that it had less carbs than bread, or at least seemingly less carbs, you could call it green with spinach or red with sun dried tomatoes. And they started putting like Dij mustard and turkey and munster cheese in it and that's certainly not a burrito right like you wouldn't consider that a burrito no but but it's like you know you know when like you go to a party and like i don't know why i always make this cousin i don't know why i keep making this weird cousin analogy but you know like like you're like in your community and then like your cousin from like, I don't know, like Minnesota comes and you're just

like, Hey, like you still like fit in and you still look the part. But when I slice you in the center, like you're totally different. You're saying when you disembowel your cousin, it's the same as a burrito. Yeah. When Janet and Janice come to the party and one of those from Minnesota and the other one's from Los Angeles, on the outside, they look the same. But on the inside, once you really get deep into their ideals and their ideology and the way that they work, they're different.

But I think they're closely related. But you've got to give credit where credit is due. There would be no Caesar wraps. There would be no turkey avocado wraps without the burrito. No, absolutely. But like, if you look at what Chipotle serves, here's one of the biggest indictments against Chipotle that I can find. So they use the term barbacoa for their shredded beef, right?

Yeah, and it's dank. It's super dank. It's a tasty shredded beef. And like, barbacoa is a legit Mexican dish. Like, if you go to Guelaguetza, like, we've shredded beef and like barbacoa is a legit mexican dish like uh if you go to gala gets uh like we've made the recipe for barbacoa and fancy fast food before you know it's like typically made with lamb and it has a lot of history i believe from the state of puebla um but then you go to chipotle it's just like spicy shredded beef and like they also use carnitas carnitas is something that's like pork that's been like cooked in its own fat. Chipotle just kind of like throws pork in, you know, a slow cooker for a long

time. But the biggest thing, Nicole, is that they have had steak on the menu that is grilled the entire time, right, at Chipotle, like their entire existence, they've had steak, and it is called steak. And then do you know what they introduced about a year and a half ago? Yes, because we talked about it at length, carne asada. Carne asada. Do you know what they introduced about a year and a half ago? Yes, because we talked about it at length. Carne asada. Carne asada. Do you know what the Spanish word, or the Mexican Spanish word, I suppose, for grilled steak is? Yes, I took Spanish honors for four years. I do.

Carne is meat. Carne asada. Asada is cooked. It's like, it's wild to me that Chipotle has had grilled steak, carne asada, on their menu, but they just called it steak. And then suddenly they season it with cumin, which has like roughly nothing to do with Mexican food. Uh, and then suddenly they call it carne asada, you know? So like, to me it's divorced from Mexican food. Chipotle serves wraps. They don't serve burritos. Stop drinking the Kool-Aid.

No, dude, it's totally still Mexican food. All I can say though, their carne asada was gross because literally I had a piece of their carne asada and it was literally the length of my forearm and i'm like meat's not supposed to be this long do you remember that i showed it to you i was like why is this the late why is this like seven inches of just pure meat i was like what the frick is this in my in my burrito bowl also i don't get burritos from chipotle what i do is i get a burrito bowl and then i kind of you know do a little indian style where i take the tortilla and i rip it and I make myself little bites and I shove it in my mouth. That's what I do, because honestly, sometimes their burrito wrapping techniques don't really cut it for me. It's wild.

It's soggy. It's weird. Maybe it's just their tortilla. I don't know. And their burritos literally look like a like a seven month old child. And their burritos literally look like a seven-month-old child. They have stopped. Chipotle has stopped trying to create a cylinder out of their burritos.

And they literally look like a filled diaper that you're about to throw away. They're just kind of matted together into this weird kind of oblong square shape. And you're just like, where do I even start eating this? So I think people associate this big Mission mission style burrito now with Chipotle because of how fast they expanded, which mind you, their fast expansion led to a ton of people getting E. coli, whatever, neither here nor there. I'm super bitter about Chipotle's plan for global expansion, but I think it's soured a lot of people on this idea of rice in a burrito. Cause that's the sentiment I've heard from a lot of people that rice doesn't belong in a burrito it's starch on starch it's because people have been going to chipotle for years and they've been filling it with 80 rice because it's like the

cheapest thing you can fill it with but rice in a burrito in the proper context like you go to um la azteca tortilleria in la and you get the chile relleno burrito with rice in there and like you have this oozing cheese and like the fry oil from the chile relleno that bleeds out into this like delicious, fatty, savory Mexican rice that's super tender. And it's an absolutely beautiful thing. That's what I'm talking about the symphony of flavors. The rice adds this subtle baseline. It is just this dulcet ringing tone that flows throughout the entire burrito. It cuts any of the acidity from the salsa that doesn't get matted out by the tortilla. The rice dampens its blow and it's beautiful.

The more rice you have in a burrito, the more salsa you can add. I enjoy burritos. I really do. But you know, I'm much more of a taco person, to be perfectly honest. I'd rather eat like seven tacos than one burrito. I agree with that. Except Jonathan Gold had this beautiful saying he's legendary food critic in la i meant so much to the city he said um taco when properly

used should be a verb or something to that effect i'm paraphrasing but the idea that like when you eat a taco and this is how it's done a lot in mexico and some places in la will do this the idea is you're supposed to get like you know two or three tacos to start and it's supposed to be fresh off the grill because that's when the corn tortilla is at its steamiest and the meat is hot. And so you get the cold salsa, the hot meat, the steamed tortilla, and then you eat a couple and then you go to the taquero and you're just like, yo, two more. And then they do it fresh again. And so, so many times, like I agree with you that I want to eat seven seven tacos but by the time it like comes out of the truck or whatever and then you you know go to the salsa bar and like you might gotta wait in line then they're cold but for me the rice in a burrito acts as

like a thermos right the rice is what insulates the heat and also the fact that burritos are like wrapped in foil uh internet shaquille did a fantastic video on how to properly make a burrito. Shout out to Internet Shaquille on the YouTubes. I loved Internet Shaquille when he was on Vine. And if you're listening to this, Internet Shaquille, please come down to the Mythical Kitchen and just kick it for like a day or two. Like, it's fine. Like, just come hang out. Like, we'll put you in like a bubble suit.

We just want to get to know you. Yeah. And if Armando's watching, I don't know if you know Armando from his videos. If Armando's watching. I don't know. hang out like we'll put you in like a bubble suit we just want to get to know you yeah and if if armando's watching i don't know if you know armando from his videos if armando's watching i don't know let's do some uh what is formerly known as crossfit workouts together though crossfit is dead and i formally disavowed crossfit and so is the entire world welcome to reality crossfit sucks i don't know what to call what i do anymore because now there's not a brand name attached to it i just look stupid doing a bunch of burpees out in public.

High intensity interval training. No, I need to call it Josh Fit. That is another thing. So much of my life has been framed by like sports, including my food life. Like this is the reason I started cooking such like crazy decadent meals is because when I was shot putting at the NCAA level, I needed to be like 270 pounds and I was working out like five hours a day. And so I just like needed calories all the time. One time I literally got a chipotle burrito and I

went home and I fired up a pot of oil and I just deep fried my chipotle burrito. That's not the disgusting part, Nicole. This is the disgusting part. I covered it in mayonnaise. I just drizzled chipotle aioli on it and ate a cheap fry. You ate a mayonnaise chimichanga? Is that what you're trying to tell me right now, Josh? Mayonnaise chimichanga was also my nickname in high school. And so for me, like, you know, if you need 200 grams of carbs and 90 grams of fat to eat a 6,000 calorie a day diet, what better food than the burrito? And I'm always like craving that. I need to get a bur,000 calorie a day diet. What better food than the burrito? And I'm always like craving that.

I need to get a burrito after this. We've only scratched the surface. How do you feel about French fries in a burrito? Oh my gosh. French fries in a burrito? Sign me up. That's what we call a textural difference, young man. That's what that is.

It's like eating carne asada fries but in its convenient little receptacle yes absolutely yeah i fully agree that's like there's this kind of regional split between burritos right so like you go to san francisco you got the rice filled mission style burrito that chipotle was copied from then you go down to san diego and a thing called the california burrito springs up which is typically carne asada and a lot of this comes from like the Baja, Mexico and Sinatra traditions in Tijuana. And they put French fries in it and cheese and guac and sour cream and pico.

And it is out of this world. I literally once walked- That's my favorite burrito. That's it. That's my favorite. You just described my favorite burrito. You did it. It's fantastic,

but you don't mind the carb on carb action of that. With that, nah. Potatoes are something else, man. I mean, even in my breakfast burritos, I love potatoes in my breakfast burritos. I agree. I also like beans in my breakfast burrito, though. Oh my gosh. I love, I just love beans in my burritos.

I like black beans in my burritos, though, because I like the fresh little pop. No, because they what? I like the fresh little pop of black beans. Like a popping boba? Just like little popping beans? No! I love refried beans, don't get me wrong, but there's something like earthy and hearty

about chomping down on a black bean. I feel, I think the problem is I associate black beans in a burrito especially so much with Chipotle that now like when I eat beans in a burrito, I want just like the fattiest, most silken, like refritos possible. Yeah. Like one of my favorite burritos in LA is just like the fattiest, most silken, like refritos possible. Like one of my favorite burritos in LA is just from my favorite taco truck, Tacos Tomics. And you get their al pastor burrito.

And people say like the taco is a more pure expression of it because then you actually taste the char on the meat and it's not obstructed by rice and beans. I'm like, if I want to obstruct my palate, I'm gonna obstruct my damn palate. You know, also it was outside my favorite bar and they had like five dollar old fashions so you drink three old fashions and go get you know an al pastor burrito that's absolutely fantastic i used to love doing that i don't do that anymore i just hang out with my mom and she knocks on my door when i'm recording my podcast okay so what's your favorite breakfast burrito construction because there's a lot of debate on that like i can't stand breakfast

burritos that only have eggs cheese and like a cured meat in it like i need the potatoes i don't need the meat in there like you what i actually love is i'm gonna tell you what i do at home so i take some cheese and i make it nice and melty and then i make scrambled eggs i make the cheese with the eggs and make the cheesy eggs and then i get two kinds of store-bought salsa i put homeboys mild and then i take random green salsa that i find in a jar and then um i take a lot of fresh cilantro and then i take hash browns the the shredded hash browns that you get from kroger shout out to kroger and then um some tomatoes some spinach and i just give it a ribbity wrap and i eat it also i griddle griddle it. I started griddling mine. Shout out to Josh for teaching me how to griddle a burrito. And let me tell you, it's a

game changer. But yeah, I need the potatoes in there, but I don't need the meat in there. I can always just put like some veggies. Like I always have, you know, those tiny sweet peppers that you can just snack on. Oh yeah. Yeah. The Costco ones. Yeah. I like put like four of them in there and make like a little omelet cheese situation and that's pretty much my my ideal burrito oh and avocado you know i eat like an avocado a day that's why my skin is so luminous really my skin's luminous because i don't shower and you don't wash it yeah yeah no you got to keep all the essential oils on your face nicole if you wash your face then you're just getting rid of the essential oils you need them to stick in there that's why i just wrap my face in plastic wrap and poke a hole

through my mouth before i go to sleep keeps it all fresh you know what i'm saying oh no i remember once we were having like a big taco night at a friend's place in college and uh you know they just started i was like a friend of a friend and i wasn't too familiar with them uh and they just put the tortillas on the table and they were like, people, you can just grab a tortilla and make your taco. And I was like, yeah, yeah, you got to griddle these. And they went off on me and they were just like, you are so pretentious. And I was like, I will not, I will not let you disrespect the taco in its form by not

griddling off these freaking tortillas. It is like so essential. It's not even like toast your hamburger buns or not. That's fine. But like a tortilla literally needs the heat and the steam for it to like become pliable enough to fold. Like you take a store-bought corn tortilla that's cold, you fold it, it just breaks immediately. Like you need to do that. And so that was like a hill that I absolutely died on. Uh, and I think ruined some friendships in the process. And I will gladly hold that badge. If you came to my house and I had a taco night party and you disrespected me in front of my house guests, I would kick you out.

Fair. Just know that. Nicole, I would accept that. Why are you making a big deal? Just let the people have their basic taco night with their Ortega salsa and their corn shells and let them live their lives okay they're not hurting anybody by eating their basic not so pliable tortillas for me and you when we're in our respectable homes and nobody is watching we can you know oh ryan ask a great question what

do you think about those flat bottom ortega shells yo ortega ortega stand and stuffs they're whack but i understand their appeal the thing that kind of kills me um uh wes avila of gorilla tacos right like one of the best takeros in all of la does incredible stuff he was doing like a demo in australia for some reason and the um the anchor asked him like i see you're doing soft shell tacos and not hard shell tacos. What's the difference? And like, you could just see him have to bite his tongue to just be like, hard shell tacos aren't a thing. All tacos are soft shell tacos, unless you're talking about like a few very specific regional

designations, like Taco Bell bastardized this thing by mass producing it. But, and you could tell that he wanted to say that. And he was just like, I prefer soft shell tacos, you know? And so the fact that like people have this false dichotomy in their mind that like this ortega stand and stuff taco shells are like a default taco and not something in an actual you know tortilla like still blows my mind and another thing nicole another thing we have never discussed whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich and we never will one thing i will say a hot dog is not is a freaking taco because every time we say you know a hot dog is a sandwich or something people come in they're just like according to the cube rule

of food a hot dog is a taco and it's just like no no it's not you just you know what you gotta say to them you know what you gotta say to them shut up know what you gotta say to them? Shut up, Meg. What? You gotta hit them with the shut up, Meg, from Family Guy. But Josh, on the conversation of hard shell tacos, have you ever had a Tito's taco? And did you know that the only thing better than a Tito's taco is two? Is that their slogan? Yeah, you didn't know that.

You ever been? Oh, I've been to Tito's. I love them. I actually love Tito's burritos. They're better than Tito's tacos. Have you ever had a Oh, I've been to Tito's. I love them. I actually love Tito's burritos. They're better than Tito's tacos. Have you ever had a burrito from Tito's? I have. It's very, very good.

Have you ever had a Tina's burrito from the freezer section? Oh my God. I grew up on frozen burritos and none of those have rice in them either. They are just simply a like a meat and bean slop. The funniest thing about Tina's burritos, I used to eat the red hot beef burritos all the time uh and there's beef in it supposedly allegedly i cannot say for a fact because you don't need to chew any of the insides you can wring out the insides in your mouth and just go and just drink it like a fun fact i was a food stylist for tina's burritos for a little bit if you go on to the Tina's Burritos Facebook, you will see me and my boss at the time

holding a Tina's Burritos, like a box of them, a value pack of them, like a child. Like we're the parents of the Tina's Burrito super pack. I'm not kidding you. But yeah, I used to be a food stylist for Tina's Burritos. And the scent, let me tell you,

there's such a specific nostalgic taste. It's like bean toothpaste. It's's ridiculous but they definitely satiate you when you really really need one oh yeah i think they're the best frozen burrito honestly i think they're delicious no they are i i fully agree with you i think they're better than all the uh like el monterey is another big brand that doesn't no no you gotta go tina's and tina's when i was growing up they would go on sale five for a dollar and we would just buy like 50 of them and so we would stack them in our freezer and like every day i would come home from school and i would microwave a tina's burrito and then i would slice it uh hot dog style i believe is the term down the center i would slice it and then i would

open it up pry open the layers and fill it with salsa and sour cream and then eat it like that i have nothing but love for the frozen burrito and honestly the frozen burrito is like a big reason why the burrito proliferated across america and why we know what it is today because they found out like there's this big gold rush of pre-packaged food like back in the 50s like you mentioned ortega chilies earlier i didn't realize that ortega was started in ventura california like just about yeah it is actually yeah they still have like a plant up there and all that and like he took uh you know chilies from mexico and like that dude literally invented the modern process

of chili roasting you've ever seen the chilies in the tumbler that they tumble over the open fire and they like hand crank yes the ortega dude just like invented that from some old chicken wire there you go i think what we've learned today is that burritos come in many shapes and sizes. And there's many different things to love about burritos. From rice to french fries to delicious meat. Continue, sorry. No, this is just our love letter to the burrito. We have differences in what we want from a burrito.

You don't dig on rice. You don't think the extra starch is appropriate. To me, this is probably framed for my upbringing and the need to eat 6 000 calories a day but i absolutely love it i think we can all agree that chipotle serves whitewashed garbage that shouldn't be allowed to be considered a burrito and should have to legally change its name to a wrap you're not eating a burrito bowl you're eating a wrap bowl i think we both agree on that right i'm just saying that's chipotle Nicole we've heard what you and I have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse it's time for a segment we call on three opinions we nailed it god we're so good at this podcasting thing.

First up, we got at swag to the max. Quick pickling is better than slow pickling. Or is it long pickling? Ooh, I don't like the phrase long pickling. Either way, by the time you've read this, you'll have said pickling so many times that you will have put yourself into quite a pickle. Got me. We talked about this concept in the aioli mayonnaise episode

where we're like, things need different names. Too many things have the same names. I think quick pickling and slow pickling, as he calls it, I keep saying pickle. I'm playing into his game. I think they need different names because like long pickling, as they're referring to, is, you know, lacto-fermentation, right? Like when you eat like a good Jewish deli pickle, it's literally just salt water and cucumbers and then the lactobacillus you know picks up yada yada yada brad leone stuff and then it turns into a pickle and it creates that sour flavor whereas quick pickling you're

substituting vinegar for that which actually prevents fermentation because it's a preservative so they're two like completely different things but there's no substitution for the umami of a long pickle. Listen, I believe that I should start a company called Quickles where I make quick pickles out of the comfort of my own home. And it's going to be really cute. And I've always wanted to do it. And this just inspired me. So this is going to be my last time on the podcast.

Thank you so much. I'm going to start quickling. Yo, why hasn't anyone started like an artisanal frozen burrito company? me so uh this is gonna be my last time on the podcast thank you so much i'm gonna start quickling yo why hasn't anyone started like an artisanal frozen burrito company josh i think it's because you need to fill that space i think it's i think they've been waiting for me to do it because you look at how much the frozen food game has really expanded over recent years dude have you seen all these like crazy tv dinners now that are like shrink wrapped they're like vacuum sealed and you can like see all the components of it that's crazy and they're doing all this like keto like i should do that with burritos yeah um except don't make it weird and like package like that because it makes it feel like it's like

han solo like looking through you know that it's like a weird hermetic seal i personally don't like it i've never seen star wars before um okay i just i just got the han solo reference because i yeah watched that for the first time like a week ago frozen in carbonite yes there we go lando sells him out you know it's really funny i didn't know that either i watched because like in star wars episode five or whatever lando calrissian sells out han and i stopped watching halfway through the movie and i was like dang lando's a bad guy i can't believe link named his kid after him not knowing spoiler alert that lando redeems himself so there i was an idiot now you just ruined the whole entire series for me now what am i gonna do let me let me read a controversial food opinion triangle walks underscore says kiwi fruit with the skin on

peanuts with the shell on cottage cheese with hot sauce and cracked black pepper um are you eating all these things together because if you are that's alarming i hope you're not doing that triangle walks i have you ever tried to eat peanuts with the shell on no because i'm not a masochist i've heard this from people before they do that it's um it's not bad they have a point where why would you put salt on the peanut shells if you're not supposed to eat them and i get that but it's not like a sunflower where you would you put salt on the peanut shells if you're not supposed to eat them? And I get that. But it's not like a sunflower where you have to like go in and like, you know, crack open the shell with your teeth. Also, fun fact, I don't have good oral dexterity. Read into that what you will. So I can't I can't eat sunflower seeds and like crack open the thing to get into the nut meat.

And so when I eat sunflower seeds, I just throw a handful in my mouth and i chew it up and i swallow what i want and then i just spit out a giant wad of chewed seed hull later that's the only way i know how to do it it's gross you want to know something i'm just a lazy girl and i don't like to crack it so i take i don't do this with with sunflower seeds i do this with pumpkin seeds i just shove them in my mouth and my boyfriend literally looks at me and he's like are you insane and i'm like yes hi insane nice to meet you i'm dad i don't even like kiwi fruit with the skin off um cottage cheese savory cottage cheese though is delicious hot sauce and black pepper and cottage cheese, I accept that.

I ate a big old bowl of hot sauce yogurt during lunch while I dipped my pizza in hot sauce yogurt for lunch. I don't know. Again, I've just been up to all kinds of gross stuff being at home in quarantine. I've been devolving into my most base self. Like the caveman brain is really coming out. I was in a meeting when I was just like eating yogurt with my hands earlier. I don't know if you noticed that, Nicole. I don't notice anything about you anymore i've just become immune to the

weirdness at call me giant convenience store taquitos are actually fantastic i'm a manual laborer and just two for breakfast provide me with the energy and satiety i need to get through the day yes abso-freaking-lutely and this hits on a lot of things not only are convenience store taquitos really delicious like you go to 7-eleven especially their cream cheese and jalapeno one because it's literally just like a mini jalapeno popper burrito and it's delicious um but also people who like very casually crap on convenience store meals are the worst type of people i can't stand that it's just like it's classist and lame and like convenience stores feed so many people i like even convenience store sushi

for me is like a really delicious cheap filling meal and i'm all about it those little sandwiches are great i love eating from 7-elevens they are an absolute community resource especially at places like in la because they're just everywhere convenience store food yup especially taquitos because they fit on the hot dog roller. I will eat sushi from pavilions, and that's about as far as my cookie crumbles with that. Here's what I don't get about people crapping on convenient store sushi. I'm not crapping on it.

It's just I don't want it. No, no, totally fair. Preference is preference. But people are always like, you'll get sick from gas station sushi. It's like, you know, that stuff doesn't have raw fish in it, right? Like they're using imitation crab meat, which is literally just fish that's been blended with like sugar and salt, i.e. preservatives. So you are actually much less likely to get sick off of that that's been sitting in a refrigerated case than something like, you know, a hot dog that's been rolling around

in open air. So yeah, gas station sushi, sign me up. No way. hot dog that's been rolling around in open air so yeah gas station sushis sign me up no way have you seen that futurama episode where fry gets sick from eating like an egg salad sandwich but he becomes friends with the bacteria in his stomach or something love that episode you need to watch more futurama uh luke reagan hill says sriracha is widely overrated and most people only pretend to like it because it's popular no sriracha is good you're whack i i think they may have a small amount of a point like nothing has it's like when people say in and out is overrated it's like i agree i think in and out is great but it has been like fetishized

to this huge point and sriracha is like a really fascinating case study because they didn't copyright any of their logo or anything. And so like urban outfitters, I remember, would sell like a Sriracha t-shirt. And you'd see a bunch of hipsters walking around like, you know, loose fitting Sriracha shirts and stuff like that. That said, a lot of people have been crapping on Sriracha and everyone's trying to find the quote unquote next Sriracha. Being like Sambal, Gochujang, Harissa is the next Sriracha. And it's like, nah, Sriracha is Sriracha and it's like nah sriracha sriracha it's really delicious to me it's like kind of sweet it's funky it's intensely garlicky uh it goes great on like

you know any uh east or southeast asian food i'm all about it i also think it's hilarious that like it has made its way into the like east and southeast asian culinary canon like you go to any fun restaurant they have a bottle of sriracha but like it's literally just made by a vietnamese american dude using california produce like it's just red jalapenos and like garlic and sugar and so it's kind of funny it's this like beautiful story of like you know uh immigrant cuisine in america kind of like finding its way back uh in asia i'm obsessed with sriracha i love it i like sriracha on my pizza oh yeah all right at jenna max i'm a purist with food and bacon does not in fact make everything better it masks the flavors of everything else i'm trying to experience on its own it's wonderful but get that off my burger pizza anything else uh

i kind of agree i i think it's overused and we're talking about food fetishes. I'm, I'm talking about food fetishes. Like bacon is up there. Number one, or people say, you know, like bacon makes everything better. Like, no, it doesn't. I like bacon on a burger in very specific context. Uh, you gotta be able to like taste the bacon, especially bacon and a fried egg on burger. But I understand it really does, you know, mask the flavor of the beef beef like i probably wouldn't put bacon on like a beautiful steakhouse style burger that's made from like you know actually fresh ground cuts and everything like that but if i'm frying up like a grocery store burger at home yeah i'm gonna slap some bacon on it josh speaking of breakfast burritos that i totally forgot to mention have you ever had everest burritos in glendale no it's a drive-through

breakfast burrito place yo their bacon breakfast burrito like so good makes you get pregnant it's a drive-through breakfast burrito place yo their bacon breakfast burrito like so good makes you get pregnant it's delicious i've i i've been trying to get pregnant me and my girlfriend have been trying to get me pregnant and and so i would like to eat this breakfast burrito that's perfect listen to me go to everest burritos in Glendale and get their bacon breakfast burrito. I think it's phenomenal. And get some avocado in there too. It's truly incredible. Have you heard the phrase engagement chicken?

Yes, with the lemons and the garlic. Yeah, I didn't realize that like people didn't know that was a phrase or concept that existed. The idea is it's a chicken recipe. And I think this is a thing that goes back a long time, right? That the chicken recipe is so good that you're going to make it for your man. And he's going to be so smitten with this chicken that he'll propose to you right on the spot that's like that's the plan that's what we all want that's what women want we want us to make we want to make you chicken so you give us a big rock on our fingers so you can claim us

i say that as someone who does not believe in the institution of engagement because i don't like when here's the problem that i do you want to hear about my dating life let's hear about my dating life a thing that always happens is like i love cooking so much and i love cooking for myself and i love cooking for other people and to me that's like a big expression of love but especially i feel like if i'm cooking for a girl that i've gone out with uh they all feel the need to like you know return the favor and cook for me back and And I'm just like, no, like this. No, this doesn't have to be purely transactional. Like, let me do this. We can combine our loves and, you know, interests differently in different ways. And then they're always like self-conscious about what they've cooked for me if they're not like,

you know, experienced cooks. And they're like, I know this isn't up to your standards. And I'm like, you wanted to do this. I don't know what to tell you. Now I got to lie and say that I like it. So anyways, engagement chicken, what a sexist relic. You're interesting. Oh, the next one. Yeah, engagement's not a thing. If you're in a committed relationship, you're engaged to be married in some way.

I refuse to use the term fiance. That's stupid. What? I can't wait to be someone's fiance. Kenny Ken Ken underscore three says bacon and frosted flakes, smiley face. I actually think that works, so I don't

necessarily agree or disagree. Yeah, put your bacon in your frosted flakes. It's gotta be crispy. Like, if you're doing bacon and frosted flakes, that's gotta be something where all the fat is rendered out, and it's just crispy, and it'll kind of mask in there. I've never tried to put bacon in cereal, which is kind of shocking to me. Josh, make bacon cereal.

You know, I think they did a bacon and pancake cereal. Gross. For someone. I was saying that as a joke. No, I think someone did that. At Tree Antoinette, pickle tails are a delicacy and the prized pickle always has the longest tail. I know exactly what they're talking about. Is it pickled pig's tails?

No, I think they're literally talking about when you open a jar of pickles, like the whole pickles, some of them will have a little bit of like the cucumber stem on the end of it. And I've like always kind of cut it off. But apparently you don't got to cut it off and you can just eat it and it's prized. Interesting. Very interesting. I've never experienced this. So sorry. it off but apparently you don't gotta cut it off and you can just eat it and it's prized interesting very interesting i've never experienced this so sorry don't know what you're talking about

yeah pigtails are fire though uh pigtails yeah you ever eaten pigtails like the tail of a pig yeah i mean it's the same as like you think about oxtail is like the tail of a cow beat the tail of a pig no i've never had it before no it's good it's similar to like pig's feet where it's just like a bunch of delicious kind of uh gristle and like ligature and it's fantastic you like braise it and then deep fry it yum that sounds delicious c martin's 41489 says mayonnaise on the outside of grilled cheese is better than butter uh i'm just gonna go ahead and alley-oop this one to you mayonnaise man uh yeah here so the thing c martin's 41489 is um nah you're wrong butter is king absolutely i get the mayonnaise thing i get why people do it adds you know extra crunch blah blah i've never had a problem with toasted buttery bread being not crunchy enough for me i get the

mayonnaise thing i know why people do it people have tried to convince me and i am not about it at all you know what i want to try though what i want to try smearing the outside of the bread with ketchup and then griddling it because hold on have you ever had effed up man there's a mexican sandwich called a pambaso have you ever had it no it's like a torta ahogada right where they like soak the bun in like a red salsa except with the pambaso they soak it in like a salsa roja andada, right? Where they like soak the bun in like a red salsa, except with the pambasso, they soak it in like a salsa roja and then they griddle it

until it's like a little bit burnt. And so the salsa like dries out in the bread, but it just gives it this like stained chili texture and flavor on it, but it's like still completely dry and it's just freaking delicious. And I wonder if you could do the same technique, but with ketchup and a grilled cheese,

because I love the flavor of ketchup and I want it in my grilled cheese. You got yourself another quarantine activity. You should just use this podcast to fill up your schedule, man. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday.

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