A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Potato Dish? ft. Mica Burton
Episode Date: June 1, 2022Today, we're joined by actress, model, and host Mica Burton to discuss: what's the best potato dish? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/priv...acy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This, this, this, this is Mythical.
What's the best way to grub on some spuds?
Let's talk about that.
Oof, wrong show, Nicole.
This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,
the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates.
I'm your host, Josh Scherer.
And I'm your host, Nicole Inaidi.
And today we're joined by special guest, Mika Burton.
Woo!
This is us clapping! You can't see, but we're clapping.
Hi, everybody.
Do you think people don't understand the sound of clapping, Nicole?
Sometimes people, I don't know.
What do you think they thought it would be?
I don't know.
Anyways, hold on. I got a bio. I got a bio.
they thought it would be.
I don't know.
Anyways, hold on.
I got a bio.
I got a bio.
All right.
Mika's an actor,
cosplayer, model,
D&D, or co-host,
self-proclaimed horse mom,
and proud Webby voter for a hot dog as a sandwich.
Mika, how many horses
have you birthed?
About four.
That's impressive.
Yeah.
Thank you.
The hardest job in the world
is being a horse mother.
Yeah, being a horse mother.
The worst part is the hooves.
Yeah.
Ouch.
Yeah, it's not great.
Well, if they come out,
who first? That's a breach. Breach. Yeah. It's not great. Well, if they come out hoof first, you got to, it's a breach.
Yeah.
It's a breach.
And then the rest of it is just kind of like slime and slithering.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you look great.
You seem to have emotionally recovered from all the horse birthing that you've been doing.
You know, you just kind of block it out.
I feel that.
I feel that.
Sorry.
I just watched Severance in the hole.
Oh, that's, I don't want to give any spoilers, but.
Don't give any spoilers.
I'm sorry.
Does somebody birth a horse in Severance? Yeah. It I don't want to give any spoilers, but... Don't give any spoilers. I'm sorry, does somebody birth a horse
in Severance? Yeah, it's like adjacent
to it. What?
I don't know. I've never seen Severance.
Anyways, Megan, today we are talking about what is the
best way to cook and eat a potato.
Now, you have an intimate relationship with
potatoes. I do. Potatoes are my favorite
food. Sadly, as somebody who
is very obsessed with health and fitness, potatoes
in my favorite way
that they were prepared have left my life for right now. Oh, I know. How do you feel about that?
What do you mean left? They've left my life as in they're like. You haven't enjoyed them in a while?
I haven't enjoyed them in a while. And it's very sad. Although that's a lie. I went to Vegas last
weekend, so I enjoyed them greatly because. Hell yeah. Nothing exists in Vegas. You use the passive
voice they have left as opposed to you have banished them.
I love the idea that they just like they walked out on their own accord.
Yeah, no, we had a really deep conversation about like where we were in each other's lives.
And then they realized like I couldn't commit to them.
So they made the decision to leave.
Yeah.
But then like Saturday in Vegas, 2 a.m., you're texting them.
You're like, hey, yo, you up?
You up.
I texted them like, why WD? Like, what are you. I texted them, like, YWD, or whatever.
What are you doing?
And they were like, is this what I think it is?
And I was like, hey, baby, you want to meet up in the morning?
Like, hash browns on me?
And they were like, all right, see you there.
Wait, so is that your answer?
So is it hash browns?
Oh, no, it's hash browns.
No way.
Good to know.
No way.
But it's a specific hash brown.
Okay, go on.
Okay, so it's a specific hash brown.
There's multitudes of hash browns.
You can get the like kind of flat, you know, like frozen hash brown.
I feel like that's like the number two tier hash brown.
You're talking like the McDonald's side.
Like the McDonald's side.
Like that slaps, right?
But when you go to like a restaurant, like a diner, like a really greasy spoon diner,
and it is that thin shredded potato and it's so crispy. But then you break through it and it's like steamy and I hate to use the word, but moist on the inside.
Oh, it's so moist.
Totally.
ASMR into the mic.
It's just so good because it's the perfect amount of crunchy but smushy.
And it just slaps so hard.
And the crunchier it is, the more salty I feel like it can be.
And it's like a multitude of textures happening in your mouth at once,
which is why I feel like mashed potatoes are the worst
way to actually eat potatoes because there's no
texture. It's just cream.
It's just cream. It's baby food.
And it can be good. Listen, I'm
a fan of, you know, purees
of things. That's not what's on trial here, but
it's got to be something with flavor. A hundred percent.
The pointed potato has so much texture to play with
and you're eliminating all of that.
Exactly.
I'm sorry.
Creamy is a texture.
It's a very good texture.
What are you guys talking about?
Yeah, but a texture with no flavor is nothing.
Exactly.
And like you have to work really hard
to make mashed potatoes flavorful.
Like if you want to like,
no, I mean, it's like a frick ton of butter.
It's like, you know, you have to do the,
like if you want to like make it really soft
and then you have to like put in like a,
like a fine mesh sieve.
A tummy.
And then that's so much effort.
But if you just slice a potato thin or grate it, if you will, and then throw it into some hot oil or put it in a pan and then you put a bunch of salt and some ketchup on it.
Like, that's so simple.
And then it slaps.
It slaps harder than anything that was slapped before.
Okay.
I guess I should not tell you guys that mashed potatoes are my favorite way to eat a potato.
Boo!
Everyone, boo Nicole!
You're a bad person!
No, I love—a good mashed potato is one of the finest things in the world.
In my list of 100 things you need to eat before you die, I had Robuchon potatoes, which is the most incredible potato dish to have ever existed.
I love a french fry.
I love a frozen, like, hockey puck of hash browns.
I love scallop potatoes.
I love all of these potato dishes.
But a creamy, dreamy, beautiful mashed potato sets the tone in a way that no other potato
dish can.
I have a question.
We were talking about the creamy, dreamy, beautiful cover girl mashed potatoes.
But what percentage of mashed potatoes that you eat in your life actually will rise to that occasion?
That's also what I'm saying.
8%.
8%.
That's not bad.
Let me tell you, that 8% is worth it.
But I feel like if we're talking about potatoes, one of the most – I feel like I'm just pulling this out of nowhere here.
So feel free to flame me on Twitter.
One of the most accessible pieces of food in this world is a potato, right? Correct.
If you have to put so much effort
into it that you have to go to France to learn
how to specially
sieve your potatoes
for it to really slap,
then that's not a good dish. That is
a fancy dish that you can
achieve one day, but if you have a
grater, a piece of
metal and fire, you can make a hash brown.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. How many times have you made hash browns from scratch?
First of all, I don't want to soil this relationship.
That is fair.
Because can I jump in? I have the exact same best and worst potato dish as you. And I didn't think
that would, like, we would have like coordinated if we thought our outfits were going to match,
right? But I had no idea that you would come in here because like no nobody loves diner style hash
browns that much i thought except for me no no as as do i yeah it's incredible but also it is
a really difficult craft to actually master really have you made it from home no i have not i've only
had them at a diner or a house and really? It's a difficult thing to master. Almost as hard as a good bowl of mashed potatoes.
Oh, no.
They both have an equal amount of graft.
You're a fraud.
Oh, no.
Because what you have to do.
But she enjoys it more.
And there's merit in that.
That's true.
So we, as Juzians, we both grew up, I assume, making latkes.
And so you know the act of shredding a potato to then wring it out.
And just until your forearms are cramping to get all the moisture out.
Because if you don't wring it out properly, then you're just going to get a ton of steam.
You're never going to get that crust.
And then the sugars start to dissolve and you're going to get browning without crispiness.
Which is the worst.
So what you got to do is you got to wring it all out.
And then you have to take it, put it on like the correct amount of heat, pat it down into the oil.
And then like if the heat's not right, the potatoes aren't going to steam from the inside and get cooked and then like you just need an even surface it's like an incredibly
difficult thing to do and the reason that denny's can do it so well is because economy of scale
they've done it billions of times on billions of times if you've ever gone to like an independent
diner and gotten crappy hash browns they are incredibly depressing and so i think there's
an equal amount of craft in both i've learned so much
today i think so brings me to my to my newfound opinion okay all right this is my number two and
i'm kind of deciding on the spot boiled hold on hold on give me a boiled potato give me a boiled
potato skin on no skin off skin i'm not a monster skin off here we go potatoes are ultimately a food
of austerity right the? The potatoes were literally
introduced to Europe
to try and feed
a starving population
brought from the Incas.
So they are a food of austerity.
They need to be made
in the simplest
possible preparation.
But not only like in Europe, right?
Where you have the English boiled
or the Irish boiled dinner
where it's just boiled
in meat juices.
But Nicole,
my favorite potato dish
of all time,
papa a la huancaina from Peru.
Well, it is good.
The birthplace of potatoes,
and all it is is a simple boiled potato
served room temperature with a huancaina sauce,
which is like aji amarillo and evaporated milk
and catupiry cheese or huancatay cheese.
Well, we use queso fresco.
Yeah, it's like a kind of hard cheese.
And then you just dump that over the top and then you serve it simply with one olive and half a hard boiled egg boiled potatoes sauce
olive egg i think that is the most beautiful potato preparation but also i feel like i can
convince you somewhat knowing your food prepper knowing knowing your food preferences we've talked
about korean food before yes on the internet. On the internet. We've all been there.
The World Wide Web,
if you will.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The information superhighway.
Gamjatang.
Gamjatang,
the Korean stew,
is a Korean pork neck stew.
Yes.
The potatoes that are
in that stew
are the best potatoes.
How are they cooked?
They're just boiled.
Boiled.
And I will also give you this
when you go to
a seafood restaurant,
specifically one such as the boiling crab.
Oh, I know what you mean.
Yep.
Just the potatoes that are just, they're boiled and then you just throw them in a plastic bag full of Cajun sauce.
That's slap.
That's insane.
And they would be made worse by any other preparation.
If they were fried, roasted, whatever, they would be worse.
To me, boiling, you dance with the date, what brung ya.
Boiling is the best way to cook a potato.
It's the OG way.
Oh, no.
Have we all just decided that just the simplest is the best?
How did we end up here? Wait, wait, wait.
Why did no one say French fries?
What's wrong with you guys?
What's wrong with me?
Why did no one say French fries?
Wait, wait.
French fries.
Tots?
Tots?
Wait, real quick.
I just went to one of those like Viet Cajun.
I saw.
I was jealous as hell. That looks so good. Okay, so I'd never been there. It wasn't
Boiling Crab. It wasn't one of the big chains. Right. And then
the server casually just goes like
XXX as
a question and I'd go yes.
Yeah, sure. Because I, you know,
I don't know. If somebody asks me something that I don't know,
I'm just going to say yes and trust it. Right on.
Turns out that was their level of like spicy.
Oh! And then after, yeah. And then she comes back and she goes, I don't know. I'm just going to say yes and trust that she'll be good. Turns out that was their level of like spicy. Oh.
And then after, yeah.
And then she comes back and she goes, you sure about triple X?
And I'm like, yeah, wait, but just for context, what are you talking about?
I was thinking in terms of size.
Right, me too.
Because you went with your big beefy friend.
Because I kind of told her like, yo, mess me up.
It was me and my large shot putting friend Nick.
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, if you say mess me up, then.
Yeah.
I meant mess me up with volume of clams.
I like clams.
Always gotta specify.
Always gotta specify.
And then she runs down
the level of spicy dishes
and she goes,
well, we start with not spicy
and then we go mild
and then we go medium
and then we go hot
and then we go extra hot
and then we go insane
and then we go single X
and then I'm just like,
no, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's not a question.
Why did they even offer it to you?
Without the explanation first.
She just comes up, triple X?
Yeah.
I never understood that.
Big, beefy, masculine dudes.
Nicole, this is the price of toxic masculinity.
I guess so.
This is the price as you end up just being in pain the next day for a while.
Yeah.
Ouch.
But what a treat that is.
No potatoes in their thing, though.
Did you go with triple X?
That's shady.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good.
And your intestines? I mean, still now, intestines are on fire. was in there in their thing did you go with triple X that's shady yeah yeah yeah good and
your intestines
I mean still now
intestines are on fire
yeah
I was trying to like
drink through it
and that only made it worse
that makes it worse
I drank a couple beers
at Smorgasburg
trying to
trying to quell
the tummy wrinkles
no
I ate some ice cream
later again
only inflames it worse
but I like to go with
palliative quality of life care
at that point
where it's like
if I'm gonna be sad with the tummy bubbles, I just want to be happy and sad, you know?
Yeah, I get it.
Might as well be sad with ice cream in your tummy.
Damn straight.
Yeah, no, I feel that.
Yeah, 100%.
Damn, triple X.
Rip.
The French fry.
Right, the French fry.
I love French fries.
Oh, yeah.
I love shoestring.
I love steak.
I love a nice triple fried.
I like a good old-fashioned mom French fry, too. I love steak. I love a nice triple fried. I like a good old fashioned mom french fry too.
I think french fries are hard to do.
Actually, they're easy to do horribly.
Yeah.
But when they're good, they're so good.
And I feel like now, feel free to debate, but I feel like you can't heck up a curly fry.
I feel like if it's a curly fry, it's going to be good.
But there's a reason.
We've hecked up curly fries.
There's a reason.
Okay, okay. There's a reason you think you can't mess up a curly fry, it's going to be good. But there's a reason. We've hacked up curly fries. There's a reason. No. Okay, okay.
There's a reason you think you can't mess up a curly fry.
Right.
And that's because they're all just frozen coming from a factory where they're pre-made.
And they're battered beforehand.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Which is a trip.
So like Arby's.
People are debating.
They're like, Arby's curly fry, Jack in the Box is so much better than Arby's.
Like, dude, that is coming from the same factory floor.
Right.
In like Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Yeah.
You know, like they're all pre-fried.
We've made them from scratch before.
How do you curl a fry?
You buy a machine that specifically curls fries.
Yeah, 20 bucks on Amazon is how you curl a fry.
Also known as a zoodler.
I love zoodlers!
You put a potato through a zoodler and it's a curler.
It's poodles at that point.
You're making poodles.
It's a poodler.
If it's a potato zoodler, it's a poodler.
Why you got to say it like that? If you're not poodles. It's a poodler. If it's a potato zoodler, it's a poodler. Why you got to say it like that?
Nicole, if you're not putting...
Why did he say poodler like that?
Poodler sounds like a scatological pun on the Riddler.
I'm the poodler and I'm going to poo you.
Sorry.
Why have you gone to poo instead of the dog, a poodle?
What?
I don't understand.
It's a very simple...
What is a poodle?
Zucchini, zoodles, potato, poodles.
No, but that's a dog. I don't believe that to be true. Can we look that up? Do we believe a poodle? Zucchini, zoodles, potato, poodles. No, but that's a dog.
I don't believe that to be true.
Can we look that up?
A poodle?
Do we believe a poodle to be a dog?
I have two poodles.
Do we do?
You do?
What are their names?
I've never seen them.
I have to know your poodle's name.
Oh, one is named Rini and then one is named Rue.
Not like R-U-E, but like the flower Rue.
R-O-U-X?
Yeah.
Wait, there's a flower called Rue?
No, Josh, are you Rue?
Like a flower Rue?
Like making a Rue. Oh, flower. Oh my God. Sorry. I thought are you like a like a rule like making a making a rue oh flower oh my god
sorry i thought you meant like a flower um josh was thinking like a blossom i'm very dumb but
they actually are the same word and there's no reason that they're spelled differently
what hey welcome to mansplaining with josh this is the podcast where josh mansplains
you just say so many things and so i know sorry no so the word flower f-l-o-u-r and f-l-o-w-e-r are the same
and they literally come from the same like not only root just literal meaning people would call
so flower refined flower right is the best part of the wheat okay especially uh like they they
shuck off the chaff and you know whatever the endosperm endosperm of the plant and they just
get to the best part so when when refined flour was new in Europe,
people would be like,
yo, that is the flour of the wheat
in the way that you use it idiomatically,
like you are the flour of my eye,
stuff like that,
the flour being the choicest part.
So you literally just be like,
yo, that's the flour.
Like that's the shiznit in there.
And so literally it's just the same word,
but we've now it's,
there's another dirty reference to be made here.
Yes, like deflowering no
no not that one i'm saying the word uh like uh come c-o-m-e c-o-m-e c-o-m-e it's the same word
we just spelled it two different ways to denote different things um so anywho such a wealth of
information my heart just went in my throat i was thinking about this but there's so many things i
don't know but but there's so many things you do know.
He does, yeah.
He's like categorical knowledge of many, many things.
It's true.
It's very impressive.
Like, I feel like, referring back to the internets, which we've mentioned before, the World Wide Web, if you will.
I have mentioned on the internet before that I wholeheartedly enjoy Mythical Kitchen content and watch it in my free time.
That's very sweet of you.
And I always felt like, I was like, man, I feel like all these incredible intellectual rants that Josh goes on, he must look something up. Oh, yeah, all the time. That's very sweet of you. And I always felt like, I was like, man, I feel like all these incredible intellectual
rants that Josh goes on, he must look something up.
Like, I feel like.
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
Like, you must.
But they also so authentically happen.
You know what it is?
He looked it up probably 12 years ago.
Yeah.
And it's just singed in his memory.
And he's like, I'm going to use it now because I'm making steak.
And steak was invented in X.
And X happened in Y.
So I'm going to talk about Z for about three minutes and my editors are going to hate me
for it.
Yeah, correct.
But the fact that it's still in there at all is insane to me.
I barely remember what I had for breakfast.
Actually, that's not true because I track it.
I got to track my macros.
But it's just, it is truly and genuinely incredible to watch your mind work.
Thank you.
But what I've tried to do is I've tried to take entire categories and avoid them completely.
Like things like how to love or like dinosaurs.
I don't know anything about dinosaurs.
I took a class in college on dinosaurs.
Wait, I did too.
It was called dinosaurs.
It was literally dinosaurs 101.
Why does everybody have a dinosaurs class?
Did you go to UCLA?
I went to the University of michigan okay okay i think it's just they have they have to have one of those giant lecture hall classes that nobody actually pays attention in but
you just press the clicker so you're like i'm here and then there's a final that's like the clicker
we all had clickers i know and then they're like yeah okay i take my final like do dinosaurs exist
yes it was like
it was like one credit
it was a one credit class
that you just need to
fill something with
yeah mine was like
a full like science pre-rec
and so I thought
it would be easy
like which dinosaur
had three horns
and I'm like
that's called
three horn-a-sops
or something
and instead
it would be all about
like evolutionary biology
oh no
and I
this was at the point
where I had given up
on college
that's fair
and so I showed up
and one of the questions I will never forget was just prove that a
frog is evolutionarily more closely related to humans than a hamster.
And I just sat there and I just went, well, I don't reckon I can do that.
I don't think that I have the skills.
So I just said, this is a trick question.
Hamsters are obviously closer to humans.
And I failed that one.
I was going to say, so how'd that work out for you?
Yeah. I mean, I'm here.
You know, we're all on the same podcasting together.
So look at what we did.
Whoa, damn.
Didn't even think about it like that.
Okay, best cut of Fry, because this is another big debate.
I have a vendetta against shoestrings.
But somebody once, one of my favorite authors, John Bird Saul, he wrote about how potatoes are the food of austerity.
And so, like, it is our duty to try and rid ourselves of the most potato-iness in a potato, which I think I kind of agree with because I love crispy potatoes.
And that is a way to remove yourself from like you know the golden austerity of a potato
and so like shoestrings
completely crunchy all the way through
almost like a potato stick I just
don't enjoy them in my mouth that's my only problem
they serve a purpose I think they're fun for like sharing
they're fun for sharing or
for putting atop a burger when you really
just hate yourself and just
want to go all in you know I feel like
that's where a shoestring is right. One of those shame burgers.
With an egg on it.
With an egg on it.
Yeah, shame burger.
Yeah, shame burger.
I love shame burgers.
That was my nickname in high school.
I think my favorite shame-
It's pronounced shine burger.
Shine burger.
It's just a normal Ashkenazi Jewish man.
I think the best shame burger is like one with fries at Topgolf in Austin, Texas.
They had one with hatch green chili mac and cheese on it.
Shut up.
Why'd you do that?
That's rich.
It was hatch green chili mac and cheese with shoestring fries and a fried egg.
Hell yeah.
Did I eat that whole thing?
Absolutely.
And you deserve it.
Did I also get a side of tater tots?
Hell yeah, I did.
Did I eat it and did I suffer afterwards? Oh,
you betcha. The suffering afterwards
though, it's part of it. It's part of it.
It's absolutely part of it. It's not even the price you pay.
You're making that gamble.
You gotta feel like poop.
Ring the bell! We're new, man. We're struggling.
We're trying to be responsible. We got kids
who look up to us. We're not role models like Charles
Barkley said. You're out there. You parent
your kids. I can't parent your kids. Also,
we have a duty and ethical obligation. If they're listening to us,
Nicole, we have a platform. We can't say the F word.
What will a kid think? That it's okay to be normal and say the F word?
Yeah, I guess they would think that.
It's true, but we still can't say it.
What's your favorite potato
french fry shape, Mika?
Tell us. Tell the people.
This is such barely controlled chaos. I'm in love with this.
Other than curly fries, think that like the mcdonald's french fry i know this is a very
popular opinion there's something so perfect about how crispy it is but how mushy it is like i
personally detest steak fries i think it's too much potato for my potato sometimes i want to
eat fries and forget that it's a potato. Less potato per potato. Yeah, less potato per potato.
So steak fries to me,
I'm just like,
I'm just eating,
I feel like I'm biting
into a potato
and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah.
So I need them
to be a little bit thinner
but not as shoestring thin.
Curly fries,
yes, they're fun
but there's something
about like that good,
medium, perfect,
like fast food French fry
that you just pick up
a handful of them
and shove them in your mouth
and some kind of like
fall into your cleavage and you just like pick it out shamelessly.
As a buxom man, I have been there.
I wear a lot of low cut tanks.
You do.
You don't wear a lot of v-necks anymore.
I'm picking them out of the chest hair.
Are you a v-neck guy now?
I always see you in crew necks.
No, like tank tops at the gym.
And if I'm eating fast food, it's always after the gym.
I see.
I see.
Really?
They always have to be the loose tank tops too.
Yeah.
Because that's where,
that's how you can let the fries
just like fall in there for later.
Yeah, yeah.
And then like your sweats
kind of seasoning the fries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's great.
I used to eat a lot of French fries
in saunas.
And they were like public saunas.
Here's the thing.
So in high school.
Imagine being in a sauna
with this guy.
No thanks.
Yeah, yeah.
I would eat a big Carl cheeseburger
and French fries in the sauna.
Did you make friends
in the sauna
or did you make enemies?
Someone's eating a burger
in the sauna.
We're fighting.
We're fighting.
I made friends
because everybody
who decides to go
into a 24-hour fitness sauna
is already disgusting.
They're already gross.
True.
You know what?
I remember seeing
a high school basketball
teammate's dad in there
who had a shirt on
and he had a newspaper
and I was like
hey what up
Mr. Wildermuth
and he pulls up the newspaper
dude's got no pants on
oh god
he's just
he's just hanging beanbags
straight onto the
the hot
the hot wood
and it's just resting there
and he's
I'm like
you didn't take off your shirt
but you did
so anyways like
me eating
there's just Mickey Mouse in it
but the other way around
Donald Duck in it
he was Winnie the Pooh in it
he was Winnie the Pooh in it
or Donald Duck in it yeah Donald Duck in it yeah yeah was Winnie the Pooh in it. He was Winnie the Pooh in it. Or Donald Duck in it.
Yeah, Donald Duck in it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so me eating french fries in the sauna, it's like, that is the least of their concerns.
I hate that you're right.
You know what I mean?
I'm sorry that you were in that situation, especially at a 24-hour fitness sauna.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, they used to have the Costco memberships.
Who just, like, tans their sack on a sauna floor?
Like, I just...
Although I have been looking into that recently.
People that have nothing to lose.
Yeah.
That's a new.
Wait, have you all, did you just say tanning your sack without your recent knowledge that
this has exploded in popularity thanks to Fox News?
Yes.
I'm sorry, what?
I had no idea.
So Fox News has been running these stories about trying to recapture masculinity and
how you can tan your sack to increase testosterone boosting.
Tucker Carlson's all over it.
And so listen, you know, not to get political here,
but would I tan the beanbags just to try it?
Sure.
That sounds like a lovely day for me.
You know, I don't believe there's a science behind it,
but I just want to get out there, feel the sun.
Josh, do whatever makes you happy.
Thank you.
And won't get you arrested.
If it's eating a burger in a sauna, do it.
If it's tanning your sack, do it.
We're here to cultivate your talents.
And if that's what happens, if that's what we need for you to keep doing this damn podcast, do it.
So what I'm hearing is next contract negotiation, there's going to be a new clause that says you need 20 to 30 minutes of sack tanning per day.
Yeah, correct.
Thank you.
You understand me.
You're my new lawyer, by the way.
Oh, perfect.
I'm glad that this is my audition and I passed.
You already know my only thing in my record. and you can do it discreetly too like it i'm
not saying i'm just gonna go out in like burbank and you know kind of splay everywhere because
they make they make like machines where you just kind of insert it and it's like an infrared oh
that's that's worse that's not worse wait that's better i can i can be i can be on machine i can
be like in meetings doing this like i just won't turn the camera on.
It's kind of like when you're on like a walking treadmill under a standing crest, except you're just sack tanning.
Yeah, but I mean like fully covered.
It's like a tanning booth.
But I'm boosting my testosterone levels the whole time.
Tanning booth for your balls.
Tanning booth for your balls.
Yeah, that's a better name for it.
It's just long.
But I wonder what would be better, tanning your balls or steaming them?
You know, I feel like, well, I don't even hold on.
I don't even need to get any special equipment because we have the bamboo steaming baskets.
OK, Nicole's about to change the subject.
Let's let her.
How do you guys feel about baked potatoes?
When I bake my potatoes in the infrared ball tanning saloon, Nicole, I— Baked potatoes suck.
It's the worst.
If mashed potatoes are not the worst, I will concede that mashed potatoes are not the worst.
Baked potatoes are certainly the worst.
I have to agree.
I don't know.
I just like how British people call it a jacket potato.
That's the only reason why I like it.
Okay, that's fair.
I feel like they get a notch up there for jacket potato.
Yeah, yeah.
But there's something about you can easily, easily screw up a baked potato.
You're right.
An undercooked baked potato is trash,'s like eating straight garbo i would rather go mouth first into
a dumpster than crunch on a barely cooked baked potato you know what i mean how do you guys feel
about the new like you know the smush potatoes you know how like you boil them and then you like
throw them in the pan like yeah those are hot girl potatoes yeah those are the hot girl potatoes
hot girl potatoes it's like hot girls love hot girl potatoes. I love hot girl potatoes.
It's like hot girls love brothy beans and they love these boiled and smashed then roasted
potatoes.
Yeah.
So you cook potatoes in like baking soda.
You gotta get on the train.
Clearly.
You cook them in baking soda and it makes the edges nice and like craggy.
Okay.
And then you put them on a sheet pan and then you smash them down with a glass.
Okay.
And then they get nice and crispy on the outside and they're so beautifully soft in the middle.
That's one of hot girl potatoes—I recant my statement.
Yeah.
Hot Girl Potatoes are the best.
Mashed Potatoes are number two, and then the little Hockey Puck, the frozen ones, are number three.
Those are so good.
What is it about overly processed frozen potatoes that just—
The Trader Joe's ones.
Oh, they're so good.
And also just like a McDonald's.
McDonald's.
You know what's up with potatoes.
Like, 10 out of 10.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hit me up sometime.
No, M Mika be good
you don't need potatoes
but I don't know
there's just something
so great about
an overly processed potato
I agree
the Ore-Ida company
they deserve
I don't know if they've
gotten the Nobel medal
for scientific achievement
yet but they should
they should
because of how they
figured out that you
can just grind potato
into a mush
shape it into nuggets
and just ship it
across the world.
Oh, yeah.
Tater tots, they could be up there for my number one.
But there's something homier about the hash brown that I respect.
That's what it is.
I hate tater tots.
Whoa.
How?
How?
I have a beef with tater tots.
They're always dry.
Every time I've had a tater tot, it doesn't matter if it's made from, I don't know, Orida.
It doesn't matter if it's homemade.
It doesn't matter where I have it,, I don't know, orida. It doesn't matter if it's homemade. It doesn't matter where
I have it, when I have it. It's
always dry. Well, how much ranch are you
soaking it in? I'm sorry, ranch? What are you thinking about?
Oh, don't you start. Don't you start
with me. Yeah, tater tots and ranch.
It's like lamb and tuna fish. It's a great combination.
No! I know. We have
so many things to talk about. What do you dip in?
Ketchup and cheese. Ketchup, cheese,
barbecue sauce. Have you ever dipped a tot in barbecue sauce?
Oh, never done barbecue sauce.
I disagree.
I do not enjoy potatoes in barbecue sauce.
It is unnatural.
It is unnatural.
Potatoes don't belong in sweet things.
Despite ketchup.
Potatoes do belong in sweet things.
I recant my statement.
Apples, apples, and lox.
You have to.
Apples, apples, and lox.
What do I know?
And ketchup is sweet.
You just get out.
You can't change me, Mika.
We can try.
I'm not a good person.
If barbecue sauce is the only thing around, I'll do it.
But I prefer like a Stubbs over Sweet Baby Ray's, which is like a little more savory.
It's got the spice in there.
The macros are better if we're both talking the same terrible language.
We have problems.
So you're not a ranch person at all?
I'm not a ranch person.
There is something about ranch, and I think that this is my hottest take
there's something about ranch
that is so inherently abhorrent to me
what do you think it is?
the texture?
it may be the taste
I just
I can't
it's everything about it
that I can't do
I don't like ranch on carrots
I don't like ranch on anything
and I used to
know a lot of people that put ranch on pizza you're talking to two of them right now people put ranch on carrots i don't like ranch on anything and i used to know a lot of people
that put ranch on pizza you're talking to two of them right now people put ranch on pizza i don't
understand i'm sorry to disappoint you that's the thing is like i know this is a hot take i know
that i'm one of the few ranch despisers in this world like if ranch has a thousand haters i'm one
of them if ranch has 20 haters i'm one of them if ranch has has 20 haters, I'm one of them. If Ranch has no haters, I'm dead. You know, like,
that's just how it is
in this world.
God, that was poetry
in the ocean right there.
What a soliloquy.
God, that was like,
yeah, jeez.
This is how I feel about Ranch.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe Ranch killed my family
in like the past.
But like a past life.
Have you done like a past life
regression analysis?
I feel like I need to
because clearly I have
some deep-seated issues
with Ranch
and it must come
from a past life.
But I feel like it also just overwhelms the taste of everything
and I just love tasting other
things and when
that tangy
acrid taste of Hidden Valley
is just overwhelming my palate
I feel like I should
just fall off a cliff.
A Hidden Valley?
Hold on.
Have you ever been to that?
Have you ever been to the Outback Steakhouse?
I have.
Okay, have you gotten the ranch
at Outback Steakhouse?
They have really good ranch.
No, do they have good ranch?
Oh, they have the best ranch.
Well, it's no Cisco Ranch,
but it's a close second.
It's no Cisco Ranch.
Yeah, Cisco Ranch is,
you get it in only like five gallon tubs
and they service all of like,
you know, ballpark stadiums,
driving ranges across America.
Okay. And so that's the good stuff
but no
Outback Steakhouse Ranch
is maybe
it's like
it's so white
that it physically
radiates light
it's like Vantawight
instead of Vantawalk
I love that
yeah like the
you could use a spackle
I was trying to make
a nerdy reference
and I don't remember
the name of
Elijah Wood's sword
from Lord of the Rings
Sting
Sting
glows when there are
orcs around I've never seen a Lord of the Rings. Sting. Sting. Glows when there are orcs around.
Yeah.
I've never seen a Lord of the Ring.
Not even one?
Really?
Not even a little bit?
No.
That's what my,
I would name my horse Aragorn
after, uh,
Oh, I'm sorry.
Viggo Mortensen in Lord of the Rings.
So sexy.
Rider.
He's so sexy.
Strider.
Is he the one with the long hair?
There's multiple longs.
They almost all have long hair,
The Briggs and the long hair.
No, that's Orlando.
If we're ranking them by sexiness,
Orlando Bloom, number one.
Number one.
Legolas.
Liv Tyler, number two. one number one Liv Tyler number two
yes Liv Tyler number two
oh my god
Eowyn
Arwen
I don't know any of her names
dang it
Eowyn is the blonde one
Arwen is the brunette
Eowyn's the creepy one
that makes me feel weird things
yes
yeah yeah yeah
she like whispers weird stuff
and it gets in your head
no no no
that's Galadriel
that's Galadriel
I like her
what about Spiegel
what
oh this has a hell of a potato tie in this is my favorite That's Galadriel. I like her. What about Spiegel?
Oh, this has a hell of a potato tie-in.
Oh, potatoes.
You boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew.
It ruins it.
What means tatters, master?
What means tatters, huh?
Thank God this is recorded. That was amazing.
Thank God this is on record.
That was beautiful.
That was so good.
You ruined it.
You did raw. It's moist. The little this is on record. That was beautiful. That was so good. It was rude that he ate it raw.
It's moist.
The little fish is wriggling around and you feel it die.
That was like so good.
Thank you.
Have you practiced this?
Oh, all the time.
Yeah, almost every morning I give myself a solid 15.
I hear him in the car before I get to it.
You know how you give yourself a pep talk?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's him doing the gobble voice to himself.
Yeah, I do it back and forth. Oh, you do a S do a smeagol on a ball no they're trying to ruin you no master
be good to us no they hate you no you know kind of like do it back and forth so um well what do
i'm not like professionally trained but josh tell the people what do we learn today about potatoes
here's the thing about potatoes nicole Some would call it a root, you know.
I call them my friend.
And I, you know, I don't even like potatoes that much.
If we're really being honest.
Wait, you're not a big potato girl.
I'm more of a pasta person.
I'm kind of a bread.
If we're talking about like what, you know, our favorite grains are.
Rice.
Rice.
Rice, yeah.
Oh, so none of us actually like potatoes.
No, we like them.
No, we like them.
I mean, if I had to pick one starch for the rest of my life, it would be rice.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Wait, what's your favorite rice dish?
I mean, you do tend to love like East Asian food.
It's any rice dish.
Like literally, it's the basis of most of my favorite East Asian foods.
Like literally just a bowl of white rice.
Yeah.
There's nothing like it.
It really is like a fluffy, perfectly cooked bowl of white rice.
Like sometimes nothing else on it.
But my perfect hangover food is if you get like a one serving rice cooker, steam it,
like once it beeps, open it up, crack an egg in there while it's still steamy.
And then I put some sesame oil, a little bit of chili oil, close it up, let it steam,
open it up, mix it and put the rice cooker in your lap and then just go in with a spoon.
Oh, you're talking my language.
Well done.
It's great.
You're talking my language.
And if you have a little, if you have a little, some strips of seaweed, you can just go in with a spoon. Oh, you're talking my language. Well done. You're talking my language. And if you have a little,
some strips of seaweed,
you can just go in there
and like hand first,
kind of use that to,
kind of like the tortilla
and fajita method.
Yeah, yeah.
That is how I eat
almost all of my meals.
I think of it as like roti and subji
because I grew up eating
at my Gujarati friend's house
like all the time.
And like his dad
would literally just take
like the roti in his hand
and like use the thumb
to scoop up, you know, the subji subji the stew and so now i see everything like if i see a bowl
of long noodles i'm eating it with chopsticks yeah it's spaghetti whatever i'm doing it's the
best way to eat it yeah same with any sort of sauced meat or vegetable i'm taking a thin flat
bread and i'm pucking it up into my hands and slurping it down over the sink we should go to
little ethiopia together, I would love to.
Dude, it's been so long.
It's been a long time.
Ethiopian food, best ever.
Yes, yes, yes.
Literally the only place that they encourage you, nay, require you to eat with hands and scoop with injera and just kind of go for it.
I'm officially in.
Let's do it.
My stomach is literally rumbling right now.
Do we have the time?
Lunch?
Yeah, Maggie, we need a hot 20.
Real quick.
So we can go to Little Ethiopia.
All right, Nicole and Mika, we've heard what you and I have to say.
Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse.
It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casserole.
No one told us to sing that, you know, but we just always done it.
Well, we kind of sing songy.
We just yell.
Yeah, kind of like a jingle.
It's a little bit of a jingle.
It's like it's wavy.
It's like a Drake song.
You know, it's like, is he singing?
He's like, but it's kind of, you know.
That's called auto-tune.
Auto-tune.
Maggie, can you auto-tune us, please?
I sound like T-Pain.
I love that she's just shaking her head now.
And hey, folks, if you like this podcast, I'm going to introduce you to another one.
It's called Trevor Talks Too Much, hosted by Mythical Kitchen's own Trevor Everts,
who does indeed talk too much.
So we tried to get him out of our lives
and into the lives of other people.
Yeah, he's talking to your favorite content creators.
He has Jeremy Ray Taylor, who is from the It movies.
Played Ben in the movie It.
Ben in the movie It.
I love the movie It.
I'm excited to listen to Jeremy Ray Taylor.
I'm excited to listen to Trevor, and you should be too.
Heck yeah.
Let's get started on these opinions.
You want to go first?
All right, all right.
First up, we got at Ben Black 1234.
Nice burner account, Ben.
What happened on 1233?
Casseroles are the most accommodating dish and should be the great equalizer.
This deign towards class roles is classism.
I mean, now here's the thing.
It's not classism so much as it is tastism.
Yeah.
Because you can have very easy, accessible meals that aren't coagulated nonsense.
You aren't baked together in one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm just saying I feel like it's a hot.
It's just like you're saying that to say that, my guy.
But like, do you really feel that strongly about casseroles?
I respect people swinging for the fences with wild claims like disdain for casseroles is classism.
I love that type of stuff.
Sometimes casseroles are gross and I don't want to eat them.
That's not me being classist.
I just don't like them in that form.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not every, not every, I get the spirit of where they're coming from, you know, casseroles,
working class dish, but then you really think about it and you're like, well, that's not
necessarily true.
Even if you really break it, like there's a lot of, you know, I don't know, Midwestern
church potluck, you know, dishes out there.
Stews.
Stews.
Stews are delicious. Stews and Stews. Stews are delicious.
Stews and soups.
You just put stuff in a pot.
And guess what?
It's not a casserole.
But it's good.
But it's good.
That said, I love almost all casseroles.
Put a can of condensed.
So I grew up with just a very boomer dad who was trying his best.
Yeah.
And so all of our meals were like, well, I can take this can, combine it with this can,
top it with this can of crunchy things.
And that's called green bean casserole, and that's an appropriate food.
So I have a huge soft spot for that.
I love it.
I'm a casserole fan.
It doesn't even matter what's in it.
If I can just scoop it with a spoon, if it's mushy and has cans of things in it, I'm probably in.
All right.
Didn't convince anyone, huh?
Didn't convince anyone.
That's fine.
I'll be over here with my own casserole.
That underscore Nadine says,
Takis are better when you dump them in a bag with another kind of snack.
The best pairing for them is honey mustard pretzel bits.
Wait, what?
I'm down.
Honestly.
I'm kind of down for that.
Honey mustard pretzel bits?
The Snyders of Hanover?
Those are incredible.
Oh, my God.
Those are actually the best pretzels on the planet.
What they're doing is something that I really respect. They're making
their own munchies bag. Do y'all grow up with munchies?
Of course. Munchies, yeah.
They're just trying to make their own. Yeah. Because munchies
are great, but that said, I would have loved to
have curated my own version of that.
100%. And honey mustard pretzel
bites probably would go in there with something spicy
like Takis. You get the sweet, sour.
I have such a good idea.
Let's make a vending machine where you can
make your own munchies, aka trail mix,
and you can just pick, like, I want half a cup of
Chex. I want three Takis.
I want a handful of M&M's. And you just put
it in a bag and then you sell it.
That's amazing. I'm kind of busy.
Josh, shut up!
No, we're going in. It's okay. We'll do that. Bye.
Bye, Josh. We're not going on Shark Tank together anymore.
Yeah.
I have Mika now.
Bye.
You're kicked out.
All right.
At Mousy4160, raw carrots taste like Coke.
Try it.
He's talking about Coca-Cola, I believe.
I was going to say, hello?
Try it.
Bite into a raw carrot.
You'll immediately visualize a can of Coke.
No. Okay. Okay. Wait into a raw carrot. You'll immediately visualize a can of Coke. No.
Okay.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
That wasn't even.
I just thought your commentary was just.
No.
Well, no.
I believe them that if you read the sentence, bite into a raw carrot and visualize a can
of Coke and it'll taste like Coke, I believe him.
Right.
But that's just the power of suggestion, right?
Yeah.
That's what happens.
Like if I say, don't think of elephants, the first vision in your mind. I just thought of an elephant. Yeah. It's like when a dentist goes, there's nothing to be nervous about. That's what happens. Like if I say don't think of elephants, the first vision
in your mind,
it's like when a dentist goes,
there's nothing
to be nervous about.
Now you're nervous.
Now I know who there is.
And so yeah,
of course,
if you say like anything,
if I say marshmallows
taste like Amsdell Light,
why was that the only thing
to come into my mind?
Amsdell Light.
Wow.
Weird.
Thirsty.
Marketing works.
This also implies that all horses are Coca-Cola fiends, and that is an interest to me.
I wonder if my horse wants Coke.
Probably does.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like they'll make them run faster.
Yeah.
Cola.
True.
True, true, true.
We recently went to a horse race for the first time.
Yes.
So fun.
Very fun.
I've never been.
Also, if I can be dead honest, I have historically
not liked horses. Aww.
I know. I'm sorry.
Horses are sweet. I got bit by one
at the science camp when I was 11 years old.
I was scared the hell out of me. That's fair.
Where did it bite you? On my arm.
I was doing the dog thing. I was like, yo, you should
probably smell my hand and I'd like to pet you.
And I did that and it was like, and just
chomped down on my forearm. So I've always been scared.
But my sister-in-law is a horse girl.
Rides somewhere up in Agora. And so I've
since like gone up there
and bonded with the horses.
They're kind of the best. I don't know, but like a cow,
I would much rather have a cow. You want to bond with a cow?
I have bonded with a cow. Dude, their tongues
are like that big and just licking all
over me, man. It was gross though.
The cow, I didn't realize cows did this
you probably know
that they do this
they like stick their
whole tongue
up their nose
but it inserts
I did not know that
yeah their tongues
go all the way
anime tentacle style
it just fully
I mean gets in there
and it's weird
yes
I
I gotta go
save a horse
save a horse
ride a cow
alright
calm up boy wait Nicole you're up okay Ace of Space I gotta go. Save a horse, ride a cow. All right.
Calm up, boy.
Wait, Nicole, you're up.
Okay, Ace of Space says ketchup goes on the side of fries.
If you put it on top all over them, you deserve a stubbed toe regularly.
That's rude.
That's rude.
Why are you wishing physical pain on somebody? Don't put that on me.
That being said, I put my ketchup on the side like a lady.
I put my ketchup on the side as well.
Yeah, I don't understand any advantage to ketchup
topping unless you're just a real big fan
of hot ketchup, which...
The only way I can imagine is if you're
sharing french fries in like Belgium
with someone and it's like you're putting a bunch of
ketchup and mayo and other sauces on it.
In Belgium specifically?
You can share french fries like outside of Belgium.
You know, what about... Yeah, it's like the barometric pressure. it. Belgium specifically? You can share French fries like outside of Belgium.
There's something about doing it in Europe.
Yeah it's like the
barometric pressure you
get you know coming off
like the Bay of Biscay.
It's just different up
there.
I also like that you
said Belgium specifically
not just Europe in
general.
You're like yeah no no
if you only go to
Belgium.
Yeah I don't know
there's something about
that that makes sense
to me.
I've never been to
Belgium.
I just feel like that
would make sense though.
I guess like I went to Belgium, and they did.
They just put a giant gob of mayonnaise on top of the fries.
That's what I'm saying.
So, like, I get that.
That sounds really good.
And you know what?
Yeah, no, I agree with Nicole now.
If I'm in Belgium, I want a giant gob of mayonnaise that gets hot on the fries.
But outside of Belgium, absolutely not.
Once you cross over into Luxembourg, no way.
No way.
What's the currency in Belgium, Josh?
It's the euro, dude.
Okay.
I thought it was maybe it was, I don't know.
I believe it used to be the franc.
Okay.
Thank you.
I was just asking.
I feel like you knew that.
He knows so much.
Yeah, I know.
It's fun.
Now, the languages of Belgium is where it gets really interesting because some people still speak Flemish because you, like, basically, right?
The modern nation state, it's, like, less than a couple hundred years old as far as the concept. And so you have all of these like, you know, different nations like Saxony and everything's kind of
coming together to form
you know,
what we today call countries
but really have so many
diverse ethnic groups.
So you'll go to parts of Belgium
where people are speaking German,
parts of Belgium
where people are speaking French.
Of course,
that's the main language.
And then parts where,
you know,
people are speaking
old school Flemish.
And so a lot of
different things going on there.
I got real hammered
at a pub in Belgium once.
It was great.
And see if it ends on that.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's how you learn.
That's how you learn, though, right?
Like, that's how you actually learn about cultures and things.
You just go vibe with people and just get hammered.
And it doesn't matter if you can't speak the language if you're just real drunk.
That's so true.
That happened to me in Japan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I never know what's going on, but we're all drunk and we're all happy together.
Yeah. And that's how it is. Laughter, truly the universal language it's so true it's so true i went to
mexico recently and like i you know speak very little uh spanish and i was just hanging out
with these dudes at a bar i was like i'm just gonna go rogue and have myself a night with the
townies uh and i you know know various curse words in spanish so i can say that uh and so if there
was ever a lull in conversation i would just you know I would just be like
you know you just kind of like yell that
and like if I was
drinking with you know say a dude from China
who didn't speak any English and then
he just like suddenly called me an a-hole
I would start laughing and think that's hilarious. Oh yeah absolutely
so that's my strategy. No that's fair
anywhere you go get drunk you'll be comfortable. Yeah I also feel like
porn brings people together
porn brings people oh yeah yeah just like a small anecdote in japan when i was uh in you know an
adult store as you do in japan as you do in japan cultural learning cultural learnings you know i
was in the book section and i reached for the same uh dojin as another patron and he like turned to
me and grinned and then i was like, oh no, you have it.
And he was like, oh no, you have it.
And it's like, totally didn't,
like I didn't speak fluent Japanese.
He obviously didn't speak any English,
but like the fact that we both reached
for the same genre of porn brought us together.
Liquor, porn, and laughter.
The most vulgar curse words you can ever think.
Oh, and liquor, porn, and laughter.
Liquor, porn, and laughter.
That's our new podcast.
Us three.
I'm in. I love this. That's our new podcast. Us three. I'm in.
I love this.
That's a great podcast.
All right.
Here we go.
Here's a controversial one.
All right.
At the Schwartz 96.
Cinnamon life is better than cinnamon toast crunch.
You crazy son of a biscuit.
What?
No.
Back to where you came from.
You don't belong here, Schwartz.
What's wrong with you?
They said better texture, less sugar, same satisfaction.
If that works for them, let it work for them.
No, I actually agree with their opinion entirely.
Sorry, I don't know.
I was doing a little bit.
But Life is like one of my favorite cereals of all time.
Really?
I don't like Life cereal.
I do like Cinnamon Toast.
It sogs immediately and I like that.
I don't like that.
It sogs immediately.
I'm a soggy cereal guy.
All right, all right.
You're apparently also an ice in the milk cereal.
Oh, I'm...
Well, no, not in...
Hold on.
What I...
Oh, God, this is embarrassing.
I will shake my milk in ice
and then decant it and strain it.
That makes way more sense.
Well, thank you.
That is the most, like,
Chad thing you've ever said.
Well, okay, no.
Wait for the more Chad.
It typically has a scoop
of protein powder in it.
Okay, giga Chad.
Wait, that's what I do
with my coffee in the morning.
Yeah, same.
Oh, my God.
What's your technique for it?
Do you just pour it straight in
and shake?
So what I do is I do a scoop or two of my protein powder in milk, and then I shake the
milk with ice to make it extra cold.
And then I have my four shots of espresso because I'm a heathen that's caffeine addicted.
And I have that in a separate cup.
And then I have a little nice to go mug over ice.
And then I mix the two.
And then I have perfectly protein latte.
We get each other.
Yeah.
Nicole, how do you ingest your 70 grams of protein before 9 a.m.?
I don't, but I do put collagen in my coffee for fantastic skin hair nails.
There you go.
Okay, next.
Nathan Walters 97 says, soup shouldn't come in square bowls.
That's just not right.
Wait, no, no, no.
No, no, I agree with that.
Oh, yeah.
No, this is the perfect opinion.
It has to be circle because that's the shape of soup.
No, that's so real.
Yeah.
That is 100% real.
The shape of soup is round.
Yeah.
That's a Guillermo del Toro movie, I believe.
The shape of soup.
Yeah.
That's it.
It is round.
Yeah, yeah.
Soup is round.
Soup is round.
Mika earlier off camera asked what our least favorite opinion, what the worst opinion we've
ever gotten is.
Yeah.
And I don't know what it is this is the
best opinion that soup is round
and should not be in a square bowl
never what even is a square bowl
square bowls shouldn't even exist places
will have them like I've gotten soup in square
bowls and I've just been like what the hell you can't get the soup out
of the corner with your spoon because spoon is round
bowl is round if spoon is round
and bowl is square no
hold on hold on square spoon okay what is round if spoon is round and bowl is square no hold on hold on a square spoon
okay
what is a square spoon
well here's
mouth is round
mouth is round
is it
hold on
if square mouth
mouth can take different shapes
O-I-E-I-O
I see that
could you imagine
fitting a square spoon in there
yeah I could do everything
weirdo
what do you mean
so if we take a square spoon and a square bowl and a square mouth.
Yeah.
Then soup becomes square.
Then soup becomes square.
But it's not supposed to be.
But it's defying the laws of physics.
I don't agree.
I don't agree.
If we presuppose the squareness of the mouth.
So now it's a liquid?
Now it's a liquid?
What do you mean?
Of course it's a liquid.
But I'm saying that, of course, it feels the same.
How can something liquid have a shape?
Well, it feels the same.
What are you talking about?
But I think he's saying it's the Socratic forms, right?
Like he's saying that there are. Socratic forms. Socratic forms. Like things have their natural state of being. It's 1147 that would have a shape. Well, it feels like a shape, but I think he's saying it's the Socratic forms, right? Like he's saying that there are Socratic forms.
Like things have their natural state of being.
It's 11.47 a.m.
Stop talking about Socratic forms so early.
It's like how like a bar stool is a chair, but like most chairs have backs.
It's not a chair.
A bar stool is a stool.
You go to Ikea, Nicole.
Yeah.
Go to chairs.
Go right now.
Go to Ikea.com.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Free delivery.
You can't make me do anything.
Free delivery within 15 miles.
I've only been to Ikea once and I got lost.
I got lost.
I got a great kitchen island there.
You didn't use the map?
You got to use the map in Ikea.
That's how you get lost.
I got lost.
I got lost.
Dude, no.
I just try and follow the arrows and then I get lost.
That's true.
That's true.
The arrows do not help in Ikea.
But if you look at the maps and then you look at the floor and then there's usually a dot
that says like chair.
And then you look at the map that says chair.
And then you're like, that's where I am.
It's a maze.
You're meant to get lost in Ikea. I just want
them to put a transponder on me when I walk
into Ikea. I want them to like stab me in the back of the
neck with a little blinking light. So if I
get lost I can just like press a button and someone
will come find me. I'm like oh you're at
Hoggestad. You want to be at Filkling.
I feel like we should all go into Ikea with like
apple tags and then like leave one
at the entrance.
Kind of like the modern day Hansel and Gretel.
That's smart.
Or we can go old school Hansel and Gretel.
Oh, just breadcrumbs.
I'll say meatballs.
Just start at the kitchen, get a huge order of meatballs and just start plopping them on the floor.
We will get kicked out.
We will get kicked out of Ikea. I feel like you have to really try hard to get kicked out of Ikea.
I think throwing meatballs on the ground like they're breadcrumbs and Hansel and Gretel is the best
advertisement for the meatballs. It really is.
And you're giving them money. Meatballs on the floor?
Nicole, we bought the meatballs. What we do with the meatballs
in Ikea is up to us and God.
Soup is round. Soup is round.
We can agree with that. Just like Schatzbullar.
Swedish for meatballs. Shout out.
Kom igen, Stereo.
Hold on. Can we talk about Eurovision for a second
no
I love Eurovision
did you watch it
like this year
I haven't watched
any of it yet
this year
I've only watched
a couple clips
no spoilers
no no
Josh loves it
Sweden just had
Cornelia Jacobs
what a performance
what a performance
Sweden is
a great place
one more
one more
one more
one more
let's find
okay this is
I like this one
at donut shoes
ice cream cones are refillable yeah yeah no yeah agreed uh-huh um as long as the ice cream
has not eroded the cone bottom then you gucci keep going you pop that right back in the freezer
and then but i think you have to like you know temper your own urge to eat it because i enjoy
eating the cone so that's the problem yeah yeah. There have been times where I just sucked all the ice cream,
clean out the cone, you know, and then I'm just like,
well, now that there's none in there, I don't have any use for it.
I'll put it back in the freezer.
Do you know what I do?
What's that?
I get an ice cream with a cone and then I get a cup and then I flip it over
and then I remove the cone and I crush it up and then I put it on top of my ice cream.
I do that as well.
Yeah, no, we're not the same.
Thank you.
I don't like that.
It's really great.
I do that too.
People always thought I was crazy, but it's really good.
No, no, no, you're not crazy. You're smart. You're smart. You're making the same. Thank you. It's really great. I do that too. People always thought I was crazy, but it's really not. No, no, no.
You're not crazy.
You're smart.
You're smart.
You're making your own toppings.
Exactly.
You know what I did the other day that absolutely disgusted myself to myself?
I would love to know.
At least tell me.
I don't even know if it's that disgusting.
I got a 7-Eleven coffee.
I've lost my-
Ew!
No, no, no.
That's not it.
Okay, okay.
I'm just kidding.
I love 7-Eleven coffee.
It's great.
They got all the fun creamers.
You get the hazelnut.
But I've lost my travel mug about eight months ago and I have not replaced it.
Oh, my God.
And so I just got a 7-Eleven coffee like six days ago.
I'm mostly drinking pre-workout in the morning, so I don't even take coffee.
Yeah.
But I left.
It was a milky residue in the coffee for about seven days in the car.
And then I just filled that sopping wet paper cup with old milk rose to do with fresh coffee.
Josh.
Hold on.
Listen, I didn't say I'm proud of this.
I said I'm disgusted.
I told him all the time.
Can you do it?
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh.
Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh, in fact, it was exactly seven. Josh.
Nasty.
Seven day milk?
With the combination of the triple X spice and some mildew milk residue from 7-Eleven
that you have in your body, I give you 45 days, nay, 41 days left on this planet.
Well, let's get to living, baby.
We're going to Vegas.
Yeah.
All right, Mika, thank you so much for joining us on the pod. Thanks for let's get to living, baby. We're going to Vegas. Yeah. All right, Mika.
Thank you so much
for joining us on the pod.
Thanks for coming on.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, this rules.
Please come by anytime.
And on that note,
thank you for listening
to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
And Mika,
thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
This has been such a delight.
I've learned so much
and yet lost so many brain cells
all at once.
I think, yeah.
Yeah, that's how it typically goes.
Welcome to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
It's great.
Tell the people where to find you if you want to plug anything. This is the time to, yeah. Yeah, that's how it typically goes. Welcome to Hot Dogs and Sandwich. It's great. Tell the people where to
find you if you want to
plug anything.
This is the time to do it.
Yeah, you can find me
everywhere at Mika Burton
or you can watch my
horseback riding adventures
at Mika Strides on
Instagram.
Wait, you have a
Hinsta?
Yeah, I have a Hinsta,
a horse Hinsta.
Is that it?
Awesome.
Yeah.
It's where I post all of
my horseback riding stuff.
I will be showing soon.
I have my first official show with my horse.
This is Aragorn?
This is Aragorn, yeah.
Wow.
And it's going to be really fun.
So if you enjoy watching me jump a 1,200-pound animal over stable objects, check that out.
I would.
I just wish it was a different 1,200-pound animal.
Like a yak?
Or bison?
Yeah, a yak.
A yak or a bison.
I've watched yak riding.
Yeah.
I've watched yak.
Well, maybe get a yinsta and then we'll talk.
And if you want to hear more from us in the Mythical Kitchen, we've got new episodes for you every Wednesday.
If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at HandyZada with the hashtag OpinionCasserole.
And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week.
And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen.
See you next time.