A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 285 - 1950's Housewives

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

|| A New Untold Story: Ep. 285 - 1950's Housewives || Nick & KB discuss Chris Distefano's comments about them, pokémon, taking mushrooms for the first time, a heated debate about the evolution of fear of mice (musophobia,) new tattoos, teaching special needs, upcoming travel plans, & much more || Thank you guys for listening! || Full episodes are also available on YouTubeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. untold story a new untold story. Episode 285. Fuck yes. That's a big milestone number, Kyle. 285? Mm-hmm. Is my mic on? I don't hear it.

No, just be loud. Mine will pick yours up. Talk? Check. Check. I think it is. Check we good oh yeah we yeah yeah oh my god i caught you peeping peeping what my new porygon hat that's a gastrodon that's that's not you just google to pokemon no i didn't gastrodon that's a water type. What is that? This is a Porygon, and that's the original card artwork. I've been shopping on Etsy. This isn't even an ad. Those women are crafting, and they'll make you anything.

You got that on Etsy? Yeah, I've been buying a lot of shit on Etsy. I got something on Etsy that I can't wear. Why? It was like a pro Johnny Depp shirt. It was like his face with bruises. He had an incredibly beat up face. And it was like women can beat men too. Yeah.

I think that's lying around somewhere. Yeah, I guess I could wear it now that I spoke it out loud and it didn't seem too sinister. It implies that you've been beat. Oh, that's the reason I can't wear it? I mean, women can beat men as well.

That was embarrassing as fuck. Right between my fingers. That's impressive. Yeah, good on him. Yeah, it's a pretty sick hat though, huh? What does Porygon evolve into? What? What does Porygon evolve into?

I don't know. Stop. Porygon2. That's the name of it? Yeah. They got bored. That's not boredom. You don't look fuckable right now. What are you talking about?

Chrissy came in and just destroyed you. On the act today, Chris DiStefano, comedian. Chris DiStefano, funny comedian. All of his stand-up sets make for a good TikTok. Yeah. I've always respected him and liked him as a comedian.

Yeah. He came in and kind of threw some shots at us. Well, he said I look like a successful popular destination city and you look like a millionaire. He did. He said I look like... He said you look like Portland. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool. Major city. People visit it. Sports teams. He major city people visit it you don't have a girlfriend sure i look like an eligible bachelor what do you say about me off-brand gary v gary v if he got head and said rich and then he said like you look like a euphoria auditioner. Yeah. So I, like, scored an audition to be, like, a hot team. Like, everybody on that cast, even getting the audition, is like, okay, yeah, so you're a bad actor but hot. Okay, that was fine. But then he followed it up. He went into KFC. He went into KFC, yeah, and he said, those, should I play it?

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, those guys in there. Go ahead and play it you know we burn through an ad while you're searching for it yeah they actually said nick must read this because kyle doesn't have any fucking pubes they didn't say yeah it says that they're in italic miss the man's gal pilar no no no said that the the people at manscaped they they said k Kyle can't talk about how the Lawnmower 4.0 will change the way you approach your grooming routine. They said Kyle can't bring up the features of the trimmer with the SkinSafe technology. And he sure as hell can't give off the 20% off discount code ANUS at Manscaped.com.

20% off ANUS at Manscaped.com. Post pictures of KB to r slash no pube and put the Manscaped watermark on it or something. I don't know. Yeah, there we go. Go ahead. Go ahead. You just said go ahead back to me? All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he came in and he roasted us. Yeah, it was pretty funny. He said he's doing a show in Indianapolis. I said, are you opening for Pat McAfee? Yeah. As a joke. Yeah, because he wouldn't.

Like, he's a big time comedian. Pat McAfee would probably open for him. I think in his head he was like, that's something that would be thought. Yeah. That's something that would be believed. So he thought I was being serious. Maybe. Maybe.

I think he was mad it was when he was walking out. Oh, yeah. Fuming. Yeah, he did get mad. But maybe that's like, I don't know. I think he was mad it was when he was walking out. Oh, yeah. Fuming. Yeah, he did get mad. But maybe that's like, I don't know him that well. Is that part of his character? Is he like?

I don't know. But what the, do you have? He's funny. He's funny as hell. Yeah, I agree. I've always thought he's like one of the funniest comedians. Yeah. Named Chris D. He's definitely, yeah.

You know what it is with those guys? Here's the truth about those guys that were sitting in the barstool. I don't know who they are, but the only one anybody cares about is Big Cat. Otherwise, they pipe in with jokes. To me, they're like, what are you doing, open for Pat McAfee? I was like, first of all, I'd love to. He doesn't respond to my messages. Second of all, who are these people?

You know what I mean? He is what's going on in our world. He's rampant narcissism. These people, they think they matter. The truth is, they don't matter. They're listening for Big Cat, and he just has his peripheral little friends around. They'll do nothing in life. You know what I mean?

They'll get nowhere, and they just think, oh, yeah, I want to be. They're like, oh, we're about to break a million follower a million subscriber youtube plaque like wouldn't that be cool i'm like yeah not dude you did you had nothing to do with it i should break it over your fucking head and put you being that's what i should do you fucking asshole i'm done here's who I'm done with, by the way. Who are you done with? Stand-up comedians are the biggest pussies in the world. You don't want me to do this, but it's not. He's actually successful. He's good.

He's very funny and good, but why are they such pussies? I think, I don't know I think they they want to be famous and they can't stand the fact that any terrible musician is automatically more famous and fuckable than that and and let's keep in mind stand up is above podcaster well they called us narcissists we podcast we don't even get to see or hear the laughs the uproarious laughs that we get. That's the least narcissistic form of comedy. Yeah. You guys need to see people laughing in your face. You need the feedback.

They're such, why are they so sensitive? I don't know. It's like this clique of New York comedians who think that, they're miserable. They constantly compare themselves to other comedians that are more successful than them and other famous people.

They can't stand the fact that like Brianna Chicken Fry is way more beloved than them. They're so sensitive and they treat comedy like it's a fine art. Like it's the finest art in the world. Yeah. And that is by definition not comedy you're just you're just angry yeah you think yeah like just i'll be a goof like you be a goofball and then like uh yeah oh these guys are just you know they're just on big cat's show you're on a show as you're saying that like to promote yourself and grow yourself as well you're doing like the same

exact thing but he is funny, love him to death. I think he's one of the funniest. I've seen a few of his clips. His 9-11 clip was really good. Very good. He's just a pussy. Yeah. And I had the chance to say that to his face.

But we're pussies as well. Yeah. Sure. And that's fine. And if he's in, I would go see a show. I would love to. Yeah, it see his show. I would love to. Yeah, it would be great. I would love to.

Yeah, it would be great. It would be fantastic. Yeah, just, you know. Yeah, but it's good to get that off the chest. And that's 20% off Manscaped.com. Code ANUS. A-N-U-S. You know I've been doing that.

Yeah, you should have just done that. You should have just done that. It didn't work that didn't work there's no coming back from that yeah um no i would uh and if he would come back in i would love to get like him to like roast us without saying we look like something yeah roasting oh he could watch my like pat till like i've like done roast he can watch back and learn from roasting isn't just saying you look like a virgin or you look like you don't fuck that's not a roast a roast has to have um it has to be mathematical it's a fine art that i do when i when i write you sound like a douchebag um so i brought up how we're podcasters uh we do multiple podcasts even we're on another show called the bracket which we recorded last night uh by we i mean owen and i kyle you said you were sick but you and i did

have a side conversation are you do you want to talk about this i wasn't lying you meant sick in like a gnarly way no i was i was sick you're sick in the head? Oh, yeah. Kyle, he called me. The first time you talked publicly about me doing shrooms was a lie. Yes. You said someone texted me about an ultrasound. Yeah, I made up a lie on the KFC radio live show. Someone who does drugs and fucks girls and comes in them. Yeah, no.

So I didn't say anything. I was like i'm gonna let somebody's gonna lie about me and say like i don't want to have two shrooms stories so i will denounce let's denounce the first one the first one i didn't take shrooms at all that was i remember that night yeah i did come no i didn't come you didn't come yeah can i confess something sure i did mushrooms for the first time last weekend. Nice. With KB.

In the city? Oh, no, you were. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. And he took more than me. And right before we took him, he's been seeing this girl and he was just like, I despise her. I don't like her. I'm going to like end things.

So I was like, this gives me a really good idea. And I feel really bad. KB's actually been mad at me. As soon as like, I was like, are you feeling it? He was like, this gives me a really good idea. And I feel really bad. KB's actually been mad at me. As soon as like, I was like, are you feeling it? He was like, yeah. Oh yeah. I text that girl. I was like, send him this. And she just sent him a picture of an ultrasound. Oh my God. What? And I just sat back. How long did you do it for? I just didn't tell him. Ever?

No, she texted him. How quick? Not quick enough. Brother, let me tell you. This is why you guys scare me. This is why I don't like to be around Nick and KP. That is so far over the line. How did he react?

What did he do? He was freaking out? He was not. He was freaking out. He was just like, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. He was just like, as soon as the mushrooms hit. What are the chances of that? And I was just like, damn, dude. That sucks.

I don't even have her number or else I'd hit her up. Bad timing. Yeah, I wish I could help. But no. Yesterday I did shrooms. You did shrooms, but you sent me the back of the candy bar with the shrooms. And it said, one square makes you happy. Two squares makes you think.

Four plus squares makes you teleport. And I said, Kyle, promise me you're not going to jump to teleportation. And he didn't respond. Well, first off, teleport doesn't like, inherently, that doesn't mean like, get really high. Oh, yes, it does, dude. Where is the candy bar? First off, I got this from a gas station. No, a bodega.

A bodega. Do they have them on the shelves or did you have to ask? No, they're like out by the counter now. Exactly. And I was like, there's no way this is real. This is just over the counter.

Why didn't you dip your toe? I did. You don't have the ability to dip toe. Okay, it says one to three pieces is a microdose. Three to seven is a heel, which is like, I don't... H-E-A-L. Yeah. And then eight to pieces is a microdose. Three to seven is a heal, which is like, I don't know. Yeah.

And then eight to 12 is a teleport. So I was like, I did dip my toe. I did three. Okay. Microdose. And I'm like, I'm not trying to like be at a level where I can still like develop an app or code. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

That's what like guys on IT guys. They microdose. Yes. And yes and i oh i did the three leave it to those guys that make they made drugs uncool they did they were just like i want to take a teensy teensy amount so i can still be a dork so yeah i took three waited like the length of like a ah real monsters episode 11 minutes 11 yeah not even 30 and i was like i'm not feeling like that warm come up feeling okay so i doubled the dose like a girl scout cookie and i did six yeah yeah first off i didn't wait 30 minutes to see if the three would feel anyway i got way too high. Way too high. One does the trick. Yes.

Yeah. One. I do one. I did six. Yeah, you did six. Uh-huh. And I was about to get a tattoo, a story I'll say after this. And you walked in. Your hair was standing straight up.

Was it not? I don't know how that happened. I think you were so hot. I was trying to teleport. I think that happened i think like you were so high on the teleport i think that or like he was like it was straight up and i i don't really looking in the mirror and i was like yeah i'm high this is insane like that's a weird but you were like literally high yeah like i was five nine and i don't know how i could not have been a jockey at any racetrack not a single one um and your hair and then we were just like i was like hey i'm gonna go get a tattoo do you need to You could not have been a jockey at any racetrack. Not a single one. And then we were just like, I was like, hey, I'm going to go get a tattoo.

Do you need to come over to use my internet for the bracket? And you said, oh, shit. And then you ran out of the bar. Yeah. Sprinted out of the bar. I forgot we were doing the bracket. And so then after I get my tattoo, I call Kyle. I'm like, hey, man, do you need to use my internet?

And you said, promise me you won't tell him I'm high. I was like, I won't. And then he was like, okay, thanks. He hung up. And then we're in a group with IBM and CP. And he said, Nick, he did the thing where it tags you in the group. He said, promise me you won't tell them I'm high. And I said, brother, you don't have to worry about it.

And then, like 15 seconds later, I get a one-on-one text from Kyle. And we don't text one-on-one very often. We're all usually lumped in. there's usually somebody to buffer this and um he said nick i need you to make me a promise i said dude i'm not going to tell him you're high and then i just sent you a picture of an optical illusion you did and you said and you said now's not the time yeah that was fucked what but i didn't and then you didn't appear on the bracket i was like oh maybe he just like fell asleep. You sent me a picture, a video. And you said, am I tripping or is this weird?

And it was you alone in a karaoke bar watching like a bunch of African-American women with box braids like singing like AWOL Nation's Sail. The black women of color were singing a wall nation sale so there yeah there was like black women singing uh a wall nation and imagine dragons there was a team of theater kids doing like whole ensembles yes and there was like this little nymphy boy he looked like a meta like something metaphysical there was a metaphysical boy you didn't see him he was this tiny boy he was had his head was the size of like a dragon fruit or a bocce ball. It was so tiny. He had these long bangs and he would like sprint from it was first of all, this is the longest bar in the world.

It was the longest bar. He would sprint and like do like these acrobatic movements like jumps. And I was like, what the fuck? Why did you do that to yourself? Because I thought it would be fun. I don't know. So I'm just watching all of this take place. That was weird. There was a guy in like 10 coats.

He was wearing three Letterman jackets. There was a Letterman jacket that looked like Grinnelli. He looked like Grinnelli. And he was like bobbing his head. Everything seemed fake, but it was terrible. But you had to add, you were texting us a bunch of videos to reassure us that you weren't tripping. But you were. Yeah.

I was really concerned because the Grinnelli video, you were like, tell me this doesn't look like Grinnelli. And you accidentally just sent a picture of the ground. I was like, no, that's the ground. Yeah, everything was so weird. Grinnelli looks like he'd wear a Letterman jacket. He does. And this guy looked just like him and was wearing one.

Yes. Also weird. I mean, it's the same shroom story as everyone else. It's not like fun, but. But what? Yeah, it's the same shroom story as everyone else. It's not like fun, but... But what? Yeah, it's like nothing interesting. But like you were freaking out and you couldn't appear on the podcast.

So what you did was you went to a karaoke bar alone. I did. Do you think that's wise? Well, I was listening to like music on SoundCloud, like terrible music. And I was like, this is like, this sounds amazing. I've never heard anything better than this. Other than that, it's not a fun high it's

just did you enjoy it's just like what if living was much harder i think i have like a baby fetish because like you do you just you just perceive things wrong well that's that's all the high is and i loved like i was like in the lobby of my apartment waiting for my Uber. And every person that passed- You Ubered there to a karaoke? Yeah. How did you find it? Did you just Google a karaoke bar? It doesn't matter.

So yeah. That was a tough Uber. But- And I just loved telling every stranger. I was like, I'm tripping. You, when you went through that sober phase- I think I have a fetish for being treated like a baby. I was like, I want people to know that I'm incapacitated and so stupid.

Well, I'm here if you need me. Yeah, that's what I was craving. No one cares. Do you need anything? Do you need a water? But you going sober was the worst thing possible for you. Because then you found Kratom and you were like, oh, I feel worse. But at least I'm feeling something.

This is the same with shrooms. I get like drugs that make you feel euphoric, happy, or even like tired or something. This is the same with shrooms. I get drugs that make you feel euphoric, happy, or even tired or confident. This was the opposite. I just felt different. You just felt different. I felt terrible, but I loved it. Will you do it again?

Yes. Are you going back to the karaoke bar? Yeah, I'll probably go back. Yeah, you were really tripping. You missed a good episode of The Bracket. What is it? Ego death? Did you have ego death?

That's real. Why? Because I was disgusted with my... I hate it myself. You can't do mirrors. As soon as I came down and I was at the karaoke bar and not high, I was just like, I'm pathetic. Were you able to sleep? Wait, you said, am I tripping or is this really weird?

What was it? Wait, you said, am I tripping or is this really weird? What was it? It's like a woman in a track suit. Yeah. Well, there were, no, this team of like thespian TikTokers came. Is that lesbian? Thespian, like theater kid TikTokers came. Theater lesbians are thespians.

That is like the worst thing you can experience as a person theater kids doing karaoke yes because that's like they they were just like yeah because everything's an audition to them let me see this guy i hated this guy wait there was another guy like singing yeah what did you send off any ill-advised texts no never that what is that it's a video of like a ceiling fan but he oh you can't it's like it's not a typical karaoke bar it looks like a die long it was long the longest bar and you can figure it out but it wasn't like if it wasn't wide it wasn't wide yeah it was just long but while you were doing that i went to go get a tattoo the normal place i go couldn't fit me in so i went to a different spot in brooklyn or new york in new

york and i went in and i was with ibm he got a tattoo it was 150 mine was a little bit bigger i sat down they didn't give me a quote he leaves and i'm still getting tattooed and this other guy walks in and the the girl that's tattooing him like it was his first tattoo and he was like probably your age probably one of your friends and uh he was getting like i don't want to say he's getting but something on his leg and he was just like they put the stencil on and he was staring at himself in the mirror, like practicing different poses he'd do with it. He's like, yeah, I'm going to like on vacation soon. Like I want to make sure like it just peeks out from my swimming trunks. It's perfect.

And then he had, he laid, he like laid down and he was wincing really hard getting it. And then he was like, Hey, like one second, I have a question. And she was like, what? He said, well, I'm going on vacation soon. And I was just wondering like, while this is healing, can I still fuck? And I was like, and she well i'm going on vacation soon and i was just wondering like while this is healing can i still fuck and i was like and she just didn't answer and i was like oh fuck but then i'm getting tattooed and then i look at the tattoo i'm getting i'm like oh no this looks way too good and it gets done and then they were like that's five hundred dollars holy shit wait what, what is it?

So I get my favorite books tattooed on me. And one of my favorite books is from The Dark Tower. Stephen King, The Gunslinger. So I got the gun he shoots. And I'm happy to get a good tattoo. Sure, anybody should. Unless it's surrounded by other bad tattoos. That makes it even worse. So inherently, it looks horrible.

So that would only accentuate how bad the other ones are. Yeah, exactly. And that one itself. Exactly. So this is just a worst case scenario. And it was $500. And so now, what do I do now? You have to like reinvest in the shitty ones?

I don't know. Because, yeah, let's. Yeah, what is it? Oh, yeah, that's a juxtaposition. Holy shit. Yeah. So you could tell. He gentrified my arm.

He did. That's like a real gun. He's going to price these ones out of the neighborhood. Yeah. And now they're going to have to flip these. That's a very, very real gun that feels like I could pick up and use it. Yeah. And now they're going to have to flip these. That's a very, very real gun that feels like I could pick up and use it.

Yeah. Next to what is a jukebox? It's a bunch of thin-lined doodles and then it looks like a gun I could pick up off your arm.

In my head, this guy was like, oh shit, we're going to have to move further out into Nick's body. Yeah, so he gentrified me. This is what it's like.

I finally get it. I finally get it. And then I'm like, I can't afford to be here. This is what it's like. I finally get it. I finally get it. And then I'm like, I can't afford to be here. Yeah. It sucks. Damn. Yeah. I mean, it's still sweet, but.

It's a good tattoo. And like, here's the thing. I should be stoked. I should be really happy. But then when I go back to my other guy, he's going to be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Huh. And then I don't want him to try to mimic that.

Oh, but then I was trying to be cool with my guy. And I was like, I never know what to say to a tattoo artist. Like, oh, it looks good. But like, I'm sure they're not like, oh, this looks bad. Yeah. And so I was trying to be like cool. And I was trying to imply that I wanted more tattoos from him. And so I looked at him dead in the face as he's tattooing me.

And I said, I need you to fill me up and i was just like oh fuck i was like like on my arm and he was like okay and he just and he didn't talk to me for the rest of the time ideal uh yeah and it was it was the worst shit yeah so i don't i am at a real loss so i think i finally had a more embarrassing day me yeah i finally get a good tattoo and it's the worst thing to ever happen to me yeah i'm starting from scratch uh shit because like people if i'm like wearing a shirt where you can see it people are like oh what happened there like oh shit uh yeah so it's if if you guys are planning to get more tattoos make sure if you want to like just

get them get them bad get them poorly they should have never gave me fucking money are we uh are we getting tattoos at all do we have incentives for the youtube or anything no no we don't no we don't yeah yeah actually if we get like a,000 YouTube subscribers, we'll get iced out chains from Eliante. Fuck yeah. He's the guy that ices my shit. He what? He ices Drake's shit and ices my shit. What are you talking about?

Eliante. What do you mean he ices your shit? He ices out my shit. Cake? No, like my... What is he iced out of yours? Like chains. Where?

I don't wear them around you. Sure as hell don't wear them around you. Then you start asking questions. You should be pumped that I would believe that. I believe that you had ice guys. Yeah, I don't have any ice guys. Speaking of ice, though, we were in Wheeling for the Nailers hockey. That's a good transition.

Thanks, man. Thanks, man. We were there, and they gave us uh it was amazing they gave us like custom our hometown team gave us like stitched nailers jerseys mine said nick has said kb on the back each of us both of us were number 32 don't quite understand the significance of 32 um but they were all the same sizes of like paul paul bissonette's business yeah because they just like didn't care so kb was walking around like with his legs he looked exactly like fucking dopey from snow white because his sleeves were dragging on the ground and his ears are out and they're just like walking around you look you're wearing a night shirt you look like you're about

to go downstairs and see the ghost of christmas past people were so pumped to see me and shit like you do like pink whitney shots people didn't give a fuck about us there was nothing more humbling than going home because they yeah like it's always nice to like bump into people that's like a fan of you and it's always like a boost of confidence going home they do not give a single yeah it's very much a new York bubble. Oh, for sure. Philly, Boston, Chicago. Oh, yeah, and I'm aware of that. I don't expect anything, but it is.

They think we're fucking losers when we go back. Yeah, they just don't get it. But people, you're not a shot guy, and we were in the Pink Whitney corner. You did like nine shots. Your parents had to carry you out of a bar. They didn't carry me. Well, no.

They just picked you up by the giant jersey. John carried me. Meaning what? They under-wooded me. I don't know. I was hoping you could fill that in. John Kerry had like a long face. What else?

What did he do? I don't know. Yeah, but we went around. We did a video with Biz. That'll be good. Yeah. I mean, their fans like them they do our fans our fans do we get well just to give a taste of how they are i had a i made it i conceived an app it's the most like tame app of all time it's just a app just you take a survey and you see how correlated you are with other people who took the same survey yeah and we made it public today

and within seconds someone created a poll that had the hard rn word this was seeing it around your beautiful baby it was the hardest R I've ever seen. On the Mohs scale, it's above diamond. It's always jarring to hear it, to see it typed in something that I made, it was heartbreaking. I reacted like a 1920s

housewife saw a mouse. I was like, I jumped up on the table and pulled up my shorts. The plague. Is it because of the plague. What? Is it because of the plague? Bubonic?

Are you saying the housewife would be shocked to see one because it's lethal or because it was rare? Neither. Where did the shock come from? Just seeing that word on something that— No, from the 1920s wife. Where was the shock? Like, what were you saying? Did I see a mouse? But what is the shock stemming from?

Seeing a mouse. But why? You never want a mouse in your house. You never want the N-word on your app. Yeah, but why would you see 1920s? The N-word is mice for apps. Nobody in any era wanted to see a mouse in their residence. Yeah, but it was like-

But why 1920s? Like, cliche. It was like always the 20s housewife. You could see a rat and you could go drink it off. I would say that would be more... They couldn't drink it off. There was prohibition. 1920s, they didn't even have...

Housewives are in hell. They didn't even have, like, garage doors. I was probably thinking 50s. I was probably thinking 50s. But what would be so crazy about then? You just get startled when you see a mouse in the house. If anything, they're more used to, like, lackluster conditions. I meant 50s. So they were like, yeah, this is a mouse in the house. If anything, they're more used to lackluster conditions. I meant 50s.

So they were like, yeah, this is a mouse. That's more normal. You don't want those 1950s, 60s wives. They would always jump up on the table and pull up their skirts to show off their... They were regularly dying. I don't think they gave... They didn't have air conditioning. Regardless of era, you don't want a mouse in your house.

You could have said a 2022 person seeing a mouse, which they would be even more disgusted. They don't jump up on tables like the housewives did. Why would they do that in the 50s? That's what they did. I don't know. They lived on the show like they're underskirts. They probably didn't even regard a rodent in their home. Yes, they did, Kyle.

That was like a cliche thing. Way back then, prior to AOL, prior'm trying to make a metaphor guides mice prior to sporkle house you think app housewife us a 1920s person probably would see a fucking mouse they'd probably see okay i miss and be like oh that's a gerbil in my house nowadays someone would jump on their house on their table. They're like, oh my god, a mouse. That shouldn't be here. We have so much technology. People hardly have dining rooms anymore. What are you talking about? We're not regressing

domestically. Yes, we are. Yes, we can. We can't afford houses. We can't afford houses. People don't have dining rooms. Somebody in the 50s would have scoffed at a powder room. Oh, a bathroom without a tub? I can't call it a bathroom. The 50s? Yes.

Dwight D. Eisenhower was the president. Yes, that's when people were jumping on tables for mice. You think they were shocked to see a fucking mouse? Yes, dude. I guarantee you no. No. Regardless of era, you don't want a fucking mouse in your house. Way back then, they were fucking dying. They were so dirty. They didn't even have bathrooms. That's when mice had disease. They would be like. Way back then, they were fucking dying. They were so dirty.

They didn't even have bathrooms. That's when mice had disease. They would be like, oh my god, that's a mouse. That's funny. No, they would not think it was funny. Another mouse. People did not think that was funny. There's ten more in the other room.

In the 1950s? Yes, dude. Are you fucking serious? Oh my god. Do you know what type of carpeted interior they had in the 50s? Yeah, it was like orange. They ate big jello uh they that was their dinner jello mold yes you think they were disgusted by a mouse yes dude

what era what in the fuck what world would you want a mouse in your house you think they just shrug it off and let it go i guess but that's the one time in the much distant past that's when they didn't give a fuck you think they just shrug it off i guarantee you in the 40s that's in the 50s they didn't give a shit their places were filthy they didn't even have running water they didn't have hot water yes they did holy in the 50s dude that's when like there was milkmen and stuff they didn't even have vehicles with air conditioning that's when they had milkmen and they. They didn't even have vehicles with air conditioning. That's when they had milkmen and ice men. They were constantly festered. You didn't want mice in your house?

Yeah, that's insane. That's when women, they had pride in themselves of their house. They were housekeepers. They were home. That was their job. And a mouse in their house was like a shameful. They were working in factories and dying of scarlet fever at 17 i don't think we know history enough to really have like half i couldn't tell you anything about

the 50s that's when it was like uh the 50s 60s like it was like uh i know the 60s i'm picturing strictly milk men as well milk men no i'm picturing a guy with the cabinets were orange yeah yeah i'm like a milk women were were in blue and white checkered dresses. A milkman for sure. Yeah, I'm picturing that. Yes. But that's. Dust.

Like, what about that era? No, not dust. Very well kept lawns, but they were using lawnmowers that were like. And they're like, hello. Well, like, yeah, they were always saying hello. They were. Yeah. I'll give you that.

But, like, why would you. Like, that's. You don't want a mouse in your house. they loved diners they love diners like a sand like the hangout like uh like uh what a pussy chris de stefano not even like kidding like that was like dude i didn't see the video after that was way too much he was I think he was a little upset about like the like he's a very successful comedian and he knows that he doesn't need us to like boost him up but like he busted our balls and then you asked

about McAfee I think you were busting him back but I think it was just lost on him because you didn't compare his looks to something that's what they need yeah if you said you'd look like someone who could open for Pat McAfee. That would land. That would land. So you misspoke.

That's all. So I guess apologize to him. Yeah, well. You're using metaphors. He needs similes. Can you send me a second ad? Yeah, when I roast people, I tend to really pick apart and analyze very correlated,

very cerebral jokes yeah that take a lot of like reverse engineering and like the what i do is more of like a trade do you think he's used those same exact insults on other people i think he's recycled them yeah because i don't think you quite you you don't look like Gary V. Yeah. But like, he could have just been like, he could have called you Gary W. That would have been funny.

Yeah. The following letter. Yeah. And that would imply off-brand Gary V. Uh-huh. Yeah. Gerald W.

But yeah, it's okay. I mean, it's always cool to like, he's a famous guy. I would trade places with him right now. Yeah. Yeah.

But what's the bar for who you would trade places with? Anybody but me. I think you would trade, yeah, exactly. Because even if I was trading places with a kid, and I could keep my brain... I fantasize about that so often. We'd get good grades for once, unlike our social report card we got at work. Yeah, what was that?

What did we get? So they're implementing a social report card now, which is very Black Mirror of them. Did you know Black Mirror meant your phone? That's what they call it, like this? That's what the show title means? I never knew that the whole time I watched it. I never even thought about consciously about the title.

Yeah. It's so arbitrary. Yeah. I don't care about titles. You don't? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was like a play on like, I think they were like an insane asylum. So Cuckoo is insane.

To get out of jail, Jack Nicholson pleaded insanity. And then Nurse Ratched comes into play. Good Will Hunting is such a better title before you realize it's just his name. His name is Will Hunting. Yeah, that's horrible. Yeah, that was like. You could have named him like Will Clark and still kept Good Will Hunting. That's a sick title.

Yes. It's not corny. His name is Will Hunting and he's a decent guy. Let's call sick title. Yes. It's not corny. His name's Will Hunting, and he's a decent guy. Let's call it that. I'm trying to think of more movies where named like Good Will Hunting. What's a popular movie? That's a great question. Popular movie.

I can't even think of one movie right now. Shrek. Yeah. So Green Ogre Shrek would be the title of that. It's like the first adjective that comes to mind. Did you see the social report card we got? No. I heard they were doing it.

What? There's not a vowel on it. Let's say they're... So they're... Yeah. We're not moving on to next year. Okay. Yeah. We're not moving on to next year. Okay. Yeah.

We're not passing. Yeah. At all. GED? No. Not even that? No. But what does that even mean, social report card?

We're just going to have to keep working on Facebook and Instagram before we can get to Roblox. You get a – yeah. You got a grade. So when like the whole idea of like whoever is overhauling everything i don't even know if we're allowed to talk about this uh sent out to like all the guys that were running the the accounts we were with grinnell at the time they got their social report card and it looked like uh a 1950s housewife saw a mouse or just and uh but uh ours on the other hand – That looked like an extreme – yeah, whatever.

Ours on the other hand – I got the joke. It just – 50s just seemed out of place. I thought I was letting that one cook. Planted the seed early. I said, ah. But yeah, ours were a lot of D and Fs. And a lot more Fs than Ds.

Because it was like Twitter, D minus. Facebook, F. Instagram, F. TikTok, F. And it was just like your follower growth. It was humbling and funny. Which is like one of the rare times. When has that ever happened?

You felt those two things at once. Yeah, it's a unique pairing. Yeah. And it was, honestly, it's on you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's not our job. No, like the reason we're not successful is not because of us. You know, it's you guys.

you know it's you guys and what the people want is for us to destroy their timelines with every second of the podcast don't listen to the podcast just wait for all of our posts so yeah yeah i'll never succumb to that tactic i think it works for some people i don't tactic i think it works for some people i don't i don't know yeah just like a just posting all the time so i think it will get you followers and like subsequently i guess listeners but not people that's how you snag people who don't really care they're just online a lot and they just saw it and they were curious right i don't know but then again on the flip side um we it's not like we like sell merch or anything like a our followers are unique because instead of buying merch they'll just say the n-word on our apps and i hate the fact we're like dude what gain did he get out of that he got a lot of gain yeah yeah it worked and i like destroyed the app it just pissed us off we're like dude what gain did he get out of that he got a lot of gain yeah yeah it worked

and i like destroyed the app it just pissed us off we're talking about it yeah he was like yeah i'm gonna just go like ruin their day for a little so i could buy their merch and show that their pod should stay around on the network or you know their side ventures of you know maybe this yeah let's just and it worked yeah yeah so every time he's like what would you get out of that this this he got it you got it by us talking about it it's only gonna happen more but fuck that guy because that was a fun that was maybe the most wholesome idea a person's ever had one of my you wanted to bring people together i did i had big plans for that app um speaking of another app we're going is this an app yes game time kyle have you heard of it like the the barstool off like the branch of bars no no no no not m rags we're talking about game time the app it's a new exclusive ticketing partner of

barstool sports they're the only ticketing company that we use okay like for any of the events that we go to any sporting events we're using game time what are we doing with it it's created by the fans for the fans it's a new ticketing app it makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals for tickets on sports concerts and shows so that's concert you went to machine gun kelly really yeah i'm trying to think of mine or dj poly d i don't know this app's truly the best i've been using it for years you could get a day of Yankees and Mets tickets for single digit US dollars.

Let's get that into the negatives because right now with this promo code we're about to give you, it's promo code UNTOLD, you get $20 off your first purchase. It's a lot of money if you're buying... You can try to find something that costs like $16.

And then boom, you are $4 richer and are going to an event for free. Now let's put a vocal asterisk because I don't know if that's true. No, neither do I. Yeah, okay. There needs to be some sort of sound that makes an asterisk. Yeah, you can't do a vocal asterisk. Yeah. It's hard to say too the

ghanaians i was hanging out with is that how you say it yeah i think so so gone ghanans isn't right dude i embarrassed myself in front of the ghanaian because he uh he loves like hot sauce and he loves pot sauce from ghana so i was like let's get him some hot sauce from Ghana. Gave him the jar of it. He was like, this is from French Guiana. French Guiana. French Guiana. So that was Guiana. Oh, wait, wait. French Guinea?

No, not French. That's the one in South America. Yeah, French. And that's the sauce they got him. And I was like, oh, geez. From the wrong country. From the wrong country. I hate people like that.

What? We didn't describe a person there. That's the equivalent of when. Wait, wait, wait. I was talking about a hot sauce and you said I hate people like that. I like, they, it's the same people who like will see your name typed out on social media and still spell it wrong. Yeah, but this was accidental. It truly was.

You thought your hot sauce, you just thought French Guinea was Ghana. Yeah. Because it had a G. Yes. It's similar, and it's even like if you say you're Guyana, or I don't even know what you'd call yourself. You're from French Guyana. It reminds me of I was meeting some friends and family in South Carolina.

Guyana, yeah, it is Guyana. And I told them I was from Long Island, and they're like, oh, wow, we have friends in Maryland. Okay. That was their response? Yeah. I hate people who don't know – yeah, I hate people who don't just say geographic things without knowing it. No, it's like every time I see two dudes making out, I'm like, hey, I know KB.

I was like, yeah. And then it's like it was you kissing the guy. You're like, yeah, me too. That didn't happen. Whatever. No, but I'm afraid the final scene of this video i had to leave monday work monday to do like a fake press conference against roan and uh roan's whole thing with his video is he was with this boxer ryan garcia he had a bunch of ryan garcia lookalikes and the one was the most insufferable dude in the world and he went up to roan and put him in the weirdest spot he's like why do i feel like you don't like me and roan was like oh and he was

just like the most typical actor he was like he forced his way into every scene and had like the most lines but roan walked out in the press conference with all his ryan garcia's behind him it's a funny visual yeah and then i have to walk out. They had like eight Ghanaian dancers in like full Ghana garb behind me. Was it lookalikes too? No. But they were all – it was men, women, but they were all like ethnically – They were blunt doubles. Ethnically challenged, so not white.

No, no, no. They were just all ethnically Ghanaian. Okay, yeah, yeah. But I thought it would be funny if we got like one guy doing Ghanaian dance, but there's not anybody in the city. There's no white dudes in the city that knows any traditional Ghanaian dances. But they walked in all behind me, so it was my troop of like Ghanaian dancers. We took like a huge limo over, and it was the strangest thing, and I don't know why it happened. I don't either, but I love it.

I think a visual of me walking out. The visual, yeah. Because I don't fit in to that crowd. I'm not a good dancer. And so I stuck out like a sore thumb. Not bad. Yeah. That was the reason, yeah.

That was primarily it, yeah. What's up with you? It's got to feel good, though. I think there's a lot of money in this project. I wouldn't know. No. No, no, no no instead of me getting paid though you're good at drawing and illustrating yeah i'm just thinking of like other backup plan you're very good did you teach a uh drawing a sketch class i taught a graphic art class at the stifle fine arts and i took a class there as a child yeah it. It was just sketching.

Okay. So I taught a class to special needs kids. I taught them graphic design. I tried to. But like you couldn't just throw them in Illustrator or Photoshop. So you have to go into like Microsoft Paint. They still tried to fucking drink that. But.

No. They tried to tried they did not but uh they tried to eat the Microsoft but I had to like make them make logos for like their favorite things

yeah it feels like you're skipping lots of steps yes maybe just hold a pencil first no it was like no but I was teaching

them digital art yeah I feel like that but it was like a summer impossible yeah why what like my job was it was

all summer i was i was when i was a freshman sophomore in college i went to this place at my own classroom taught these kids for like two hours and then they tried to teach get me to teach a special needs robotics class and i was just like why are you what is what is the spec i think there's a lot of grant money in throwing that in front of it. Let's teach these special needs kids things that you needed a degree to truly know. I think they're good at tech. Are they? Yeah, I think the Slow Bros love iPads.

They do. Oh my god, dude. This is actually a phenomenon. I would see severely autistic 17-month- old kids at my job and they they would they knew nothing they couldn't speak or communicate in any way but they could turn on an ipad they love changing settings scroll to the youtube app like search in the youtube app i was like you can't spell uh you can't talk read you're one and autistic but they can use like the search tab like they just like mush the keyboard and it's so the autocorrect just figures

it out they just have like the finger placements down and they would watch like their videos all day yeah they would go to the comment section. And do what? I don't know. Nothing. They wouldn't comment. They would read them. Comments can be toxic. Comments can be toxic. And I hate the fact they were reading them.

Owen and I found out recording yesterday. It was when you were at the karaoke bar alone. When I was, yeah. Which we're glossing over how sad that is. Has anybody gone to a kerry bar oaky bar alone yeah when we were no the guy with the guy with the letterman jacket was alone there was a black guy everyone was out of place there was the little nymphy boy that was doing acrobats he was definitely alone the letterman jack was alone the black guy in the suit with the tooth i would swear a nymphy boy travels in past this nymphy, I can't get over it because he was such a hallucination, but not.

He was there when I was coming down and back to sobriety. He was still there doing his same things. And I was like, I don't even know how to... This is insane. Dude. A nymph-y boy. His head was the size of a grapefruit. Jenny Finch would pitch his head a hundred miles per hour his head was so small on his head his hair was so big we got to

get him on the pod small head big hair looking ass and he was doing acrobat it was he was sprinting from the back of the bar while the karaoke was going you have like good air time you would do like like little jumps. That's nymphy of him. So he was skipping? Dude, that, like— He was a male fairy, or I think that's a gender-neutral term. He was a fairy.

He was a male—he was a they fairy. Yeah. But, like, those guys—those nymphy boys have the best hang time. He got up so high. Not only are they, like, sneaky athletic, they're whimsy as all hell. He was whimsy. They're slewy. Yeah. Yeah.

But while you were doing that, Owen discovered that there are Olympic level, fully quadriplegic fencing mouth. I don't under. I don't know. Apparently they're on a track and they like ram him. Yeah. So their chairs are on a track and they like ram him into... Yeah, so their chairs are on a track and they're sort of... So it's essentially BattleBots. Yeah.

They're not controlling anything. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. But like, I don't know. Do they even know when they're hit? The only silver lining for me, if that was ever the case to happen like yeah is that i feel like you you lose like intellectual ability really but i also now that i think about it you probably don't

no definitely not so you're still like you have the same wherewithal you're just you know yeah it's the opposite you have all of it you're just stuck in a yeah you're just trapped in a you're your your body is your prison you don't lose any like mental capacity i don't think so oh my god yeah and so sometimes then they just have them jousting it's insane is it freaking you out to think about yeah it's just like whoa um what sport makes the most sense for quadriplegics? Water polo? None of them. No.

None of them ever. Skydiving? I guess. Yeah, yeah. Ironically, it's probably like the most extreme sports. What else? I don't know, like tightrope walking. You don't have to like balance.

Walking is in the name. You don't have to like balance. Walking is in the name. You don't have to. They just lay over it. If you tightrope walk, you don't have to like stay up the whole time. Dude, a Paralympics tightrope walk and it's just like way wider. A handicapped tightrope is really funny. It's a field. So you have to get across anything. It's a lot.

It's a parking lot. They just wheel over the Williamsburg Bridge. Yeah. That's it. And they're just like, wow. Good for them. Yeah. I think like the tightrope walking was maybe the worst.

That you have to be the most able-bodied. Yeah. But they could still do it. No, they couldn't, Kyle. Because part of tightrope walking a lot of times is falling whether you like it or not that's like the the harsh reality that's the grim reality of the sport yeah so as long as they were just placed on the the tightrope for any period of time and they fell they would still be by definition doing it no because you have to walk

yeah yeah yeah so that it is not tightrope walking. No. Okay. I'm trying to think of... But it's certainly not basketball. No. They would give them the little shoot at the bowling alley. Yeah.

That thing's like an auto spare, at least. That with bumpers combined, you're... Actually, we should do that for a video. We have to try to get under 100. A really cocky quadriplegic who's just very good at the rolling down. And he gets like a 220 score every time because he just bumps it with his head. The shape of his head. He's such a dick about it.

The shape of his head like warrants. Yeah. I realize I have a weird head shape because everybody has like a flatter forehead right here. Mine is not flat at any – it's always ar arced somewhere and i can't wear like beanies it's like i don't have a specific picture of yourself a bad angle yep i've had those that have ruined my life yeah i realized i don't have a front of my face everything is i'm all side i legitimately thought i had a small nose until junior year of college. Same. I saw a side profile where my nose looked so big and it just ruined my day. It's amazing to how long a bad photo can knock you out of commission.

Yes. Not just lengthwise, but just how detrimental it is to see that you look pathetic. And granted, I don't do anything to make changes. I mean, what can you do? I mean, I feel like, I don't do anything to make changes i mean what can you do i mean i mean i feel like i don't know yeah you're right there fuck but especially when we're like out doing goofy stuff and like i don't know like every time we do a branded video they're like all right take your shirts off it's like oh fuck yeah why are you guys always shirtless in branded videos we are and our branded videos are getting gayer and gayer.

It's like, all right, do the wood body wash, but you guys are going to be rubbing it on each other. I'm like, no. They're like, all right, we'll do the dude wipes one. Censor that. They wrote a Ronan Sass Dat Chat commercial where they fucked, never used it. Yeah, it was for the personal collection. Oh, they did do that shoot, though. Yeah.

The dude wipes one, they cut the scene whereyle was actually wiping my asshole i did and i like the only time a man wipe another man's asshole was one if he's quadriplegic or two he's preparing to fuck the butthole worth c both yeah i wonder if c c probably happens every once in a while a gay quadriplegic yeah yeah i mean i'm mad i would imagine it's the same how many quadriplegic? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would imagine it's the same. How many quadriplegics are there? Do you think there's more people in Luxembourg or quadriplegics? There's more people in Luxembourg. Hmm.

I don't know how many there are, so I said that blindly confident. Do you know how many there are? South Dakota needs six classes for their football high school championships. You said needs? They do. And people are like, justify it. Like, yeah, you can't have a school with 200 kids going up against a school with 450 kids. It's unfair.

Meanwhile, Luxembourg is competing against the United States in the Olympics. So don't get it. People got like, I've made that take way too many classes for high school state championships. People tried to say I was wrong. They were saying it's a weird hill to die on. It's a weird hill to die on. At a certain point, if you're trying

to make competition completely equal, it's not competition at that point. Exactly. 5.4 million quadriplegics. No way there's 5.4 million quadriplegics. No way there's 5.4 million quadriplegics. No way, dude. One out of every what?

Five zero. One out of every 50? No. There's not that little people in the world. The Christopher Reeve Foundation. The Christopher Reeve Foundation? There has to be a country that has all the quadriplegics. Like that island in Italy where everybody's blind.

Nick, 5.4 million isn't a lot. One of every 50? Out of seven. That's not the quadriplegics. Like that island in Italy where everybody's blind. Nick, 5.4 million isn't a lot. One of every 50? Out of seven. That's not the stats. There's 7 billion people. That's much less. It's about 13%. 13% of the world.

That's not true. I don't know one. 13% is not 5 million. No, it's not. 5 million out of 7 billion is like a lot. 5 million is still a lot decimal five that's i still don't believe it that's too high i believe that's too high i believe that that's a damn shame that's not how many of those are jellybean people where they got them all

removed what do you mean a jellybean is if you have all four removed yeah that's a real thing on porn oh god porn yeah oh if you're if you watch the views like a bigger object that's unlimbed like what describe them lima bean a bigger op yeah like a couch couch porn i mean not casting i mean one of the four parts of a couch is legs and kyle said couch uh like a chair legs arms trying to think of an inanimate object that doesn't have arms or legs or appendages in any way. You can't. It's very hard. You can't. Table? Legs. No. Fuck. A television antenna.

What about like an argument? No, it has legs. Something abstract. Arguments have legs. Fuck. Yeah. Name something that doesn't have legs. Something that doesn't have legs?

Come on. Like. If you're starting with biggest to smallest the first thing is a video game yeah okay yeah disc oh it does lag when the internet's back oh fuck off for that one that wasn't no that was you're about those were real-time comedy rtc halo what about did you ever play video games uh not really yeah i would play like simulation games like farming i would like just like grow bok choy it would just like take hours and hours i believe that i also was obsessed with this ip iPhone app called Smurfs Village. Did I ever talk about this? No. I spent $300 on Smurfs Village my junior year of college.

I believe that, yeah. I spent the equivalent on Yahtzee. How did you? Wait a minute. What are you? What in-app purchases are in Yahtzee? All of those apps have micro in-app purchases. What are you buying in Yahtzee?

Just lives. Oh, like to make it easier? You just have to fucking, you need to pay to play. It's fucking pathetic, dude. I was at least buying like vanity Smurfs, vanity Smurfs like you bought her hut and you could like change the outfits of your Smurfs.

I bought like the fishing game, but I spent a lot of money. A lot of money. Yeah. Yeah, Kyle, his were vanity Smurfs. I don't know why you were wasting your money on them. These were digital Smurfs. As opposed to what type of Sm. Yeah, Kyle, his were vanity Smurfs. I don't know why you were wasting your money on them. These were digital Smurfs. As opposed to what type of Smurfs, Kyle?

I don't know. Every Smurf is digital. Moron. It's not based in any reality? That's not true. I mean, maybe like gnome folklore. There was a Smurf rally in France in the height of COVID-19. You have a tattoo from that line.

I do. That's great. That fell off your body. You're lucky. Some people have bad tattoos. You can stick with it. a smurf rally in france in the height of you have a tattoo from that line i do that's great that fell off your body you're lucky some people have bad tattoos you stick with it yeah oh are you gonna like put lotion and heal or are you gonna let it i'm kind of hoping just to like rough it up a little bit yeah get her dirty yeah i don't care the the racist like sentiment is always i don't care if he's black white purple yeah it's always black white purple yeah it's like yeah yeah you would you'd care if a purple person like did anything

to me i would i would hate it that would be the first thing i'd call him out on that'd be like the worst color to be like i'll be like what the fuck there's a purple guy over there yeah yeah um oh this tattoo shop I forgot to mention. I really want to get at least some sort of thing to make my leg look less swastika-y. And by swastika-y, I mean my leg has a swastika on it. Yeah, it does. It doesn't have an image that looks like a swastika. It does have a swastika. It doesn't have swastika traits because it just is one.

Yeah. And I saw there was a tattoo shop in New York that was like, they're trying to be really woke. And there was like, we believe in second chances. We'll cover up your swastika for free. No way. I might just buy a tattoo gun, go all out with swastikas and go get like a free sleeve. Holy shit. Yeah, just a bunch of swastikas.

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's like a little loophole that white people can use. They have to say yes. Yeah. We should do that. We should film that. I don't want to do that.

Because like the time from like me doing it to walking into the tattoo shop, something would happen in between. Yeah. You would get strip searched or something. Yeah. It would reveal it to the public yeah so they weren't thinking of that that's hilarious though but uh good on them a little performant because like you know you'd walk in there with a swastika be like fuck you it's yeah it's probably just a ploy to catch Nazis. Yeah.

I have a friend who's a tattoo artist that became a Nazi. In that order? He's the guy that did my mom heart, and then he became a Nazi very soon after. Like Tila Tequila. She did. Full blown. She did. She's a lesbian nazi she's lesbian yes you've never watched her uh what was her vh1 show tequila shot of love double shot of love

double shot because it had males and females all right i'll bite um how is teela tequila nazi uh you're chinese yeah she has to be the loneliest nazi because other nazis wouldn't fuck with her and people Uh, you're Chinese. Yeah, she has to be the loneliest Nazi because other Nazis wouldn't fuck with her and people who aren't Nazis wouldn't fuck with her. Yeah. Huh. That's like Pixar's The Last Dinosaur.

Just like that. The loneliest Nazi. Do you feel bad? It's art because it makes you think. Do you feel bad? Do you loathe her? Do you pity her? Yeah.

Poor girl. I think she's trying to become the most marginalized human being of all time. A lesbian minority Nazi. That's, yeah, I mean, shit. Yeah. Anyways. Anyways. Anything else to talk about?

You guys are traveling? Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah, it never ends. The whole Ghana thing wasn't a bit. They were trying to send me to Ghana. Yes. I couldn't get my shots in time yeah it's good yeah it's good yeah but then i had to go to miami to meet that guy don't act like

you like don't act like it's a desirable vacation destination why would i act like that i feel like some people would like who i guess i don't know depends on what you're looking for no stop making like developing countries look like something they're not it's a sad situation yeah it is but we're going to San Antonio

next week to do a video we're going to find the fattest ass in San Antonio we keep getting lucky with these destinations. What do you mean? I don't know. Just like probably the only major city with a million people that people talk less about than a city with 20,000 people. Yeah.

Nobody talks about San Antonio. Their social footprint is zero yeah i already like the middle child of texas i have no idea like what their thing is i already forgot about like you forgot the alamo yeah exactly christ yeah that's the one rule i just i just remembered it i forgot about it's like fight club yeah i forgot about the alamo jesus that was like the one thing their entire claim to fame is that they have the Alamo and you have to remember it. Yeah. And I didn't even know that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then

what else? I don't know. But like having something that they force you to remember is is whack. Fuck the Alamo. Fuck the Titans. Well, New York does that as well. Never forget. Never forget. That's different than remember. it no it's the same

thing never forget never forget and always remember same to say yeah same thing never forget is cooler it does it sounds harder because it's implying that no it implies like vengeance yes remember is just like this is a good thing that yeah it was i don't even know what the alamo was spanish-american war yeah that we lost that fight davy crockett died in that fight davy crockett died in that fight davy crockett died in the overlapped with the Alamo he died in the Alamo I thought he was like a fucking Appalachian like coon skin hat wearing pioneer

no who had like arrowheads Davy Crockett died in 1981 I'm thinking of Daniel Boone who they're the same person you're thinking of

Johnny Appleseed or maybe John Henry yeah I was thinking of Johnny Appleseed that's who I was thinking of yeah I thought we were talking about

Johnny Appleseed do you know how many you always confuse like historical figures with Johnny App i've done it every athlete is shoeless joe jackson yes he does yeah you under yeah whatever yeah but no uh so are we going to the alamo no no i don't care i don't care i don't give a fuck there's like a couple things i don't i have there's no appeal to me and it's historical i texted this to somebody recently what was that i don't know would you rather go to the alamo while you're in san antonio or find three dollars on the ground while you're three three dollars without doubt and i would still throw it in the garbage. You're a monster.

What was it? Who did you send it to? This is going to be good. A little dive into my mind. Okay. You got it? Yeah, it wasn't that good. All right.

We'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that. Fuck no, baby! It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untoldld story A new untold story A new untold story