A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 290 - Billionaire Boys Club (ft. Jeff D. Lowe)
Episode Date: May 5, 2022ANUS #290 - Nick T, KB, Jeff D, and Owen take a stroll down memory lane by shuffling through the 100 most streamed songs of all-time - Full episodes also available on YouTube!You can find every episod...e of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast
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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.
Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music.
Oh, oh.
Yeah.
Check, check check check
thank you
yo yo yo
hey test test test test
one two
testing testing testing
welcome on back to Spotify
thank you so much
welcome back to Spotify
thanks for tuning into spotify
we all low-key have fucking sexy boys this is great spotify what you're talking about
big time spotify imagine imagine living in like a world where like truly the only thing
that mattered was being like a 2 a.m to 4 a.m radio dj you're the man thank you thank
you that was the peak for your life how sad you'd be so satisfied with everything dude two to four
two to four a.m how's everyone doing out there this is for all you night owls
you don't have to say night owls You could just say owls That is so real
Early bird I get
That would sound weird though
If you just said this is for all the owls
No
Then you would think he's talking about the name owl
Owl
Yeah a lot of people just say owl
For my owls
You don't pronounce the W in owl
This is for all my owls.
Owl rhymes with vowel.
Owl rhymes with vowel.
Let's call into a radio show right now.
Okay.
And request a song.
I've done that once.
I requested The River by Good Charlotte featuring Avenged Sevenfold.
But I was a cunt. And I was like, hi, I would like to play The River by Good Charlotte featuring Avenged Sevenfold. But I was a cunt, and I was like, hi, I would like to play The River.
It's by Good Charlotte featuring M. Shadows and Sinister Gates,
because that was the only two members of Avenged Sevenfold in the song.
You were a cunt for even bringing up the feature.
Yeah.
You could have just said The River.
Bringing up a feature does make you automatically cunty.
Yeah.
I mean, that's something you would do.
I would definitely do that.
That's your lane.
Never going to talk about Mando without T-Pain.
The song isn't even featuring Avenged Sevenfold.
It's M. Shadows.
Jeff is the type of guy to be like, can you put on Body by Loud Luxury featuring Brando?
featuring Brando.
I was about to clown Venge Sevenfold for
their names are like Sinister Gates
and Johnny Christ.
But Barstool does that as well.
Barstool does it to the
simplest extent?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Which I think is fine.
I think your name should be what
your generic trade is if you're gonna do like a silly nickname glenny balls glenny balls right
one of our guys just took the name carl that's not his name carl not being named carl but going
by simply carl he should get clowned way more than the garage thing.
And I hope people start clowning him for that because I know he will get.
You're in his domain right now.
He will legitimately, he will get upset about it.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
A new Untold Story, episode 290, brought to you by our really, really good friends.
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of eyesight you guys can go to felixgrayglasses.com story uh for free shipping free returns uh free
i think one other thing um kyle you like wearing the the brown ones like the brown ones me too
me too yeah they got me on 2020 mo well yeah that's right they do speaking of shout out
mel shout out mel anis fan oh shout out shout out to mel she's our day one she's the only one that
brought merch she came to us uh well yeah she came to a chicago happy hour she's real as fuck
she was mean to us which i kind of liked i liked that a lot she couldn't give a fuck about us being there she liked the she was a fan but not of us individually no i
think she liked the show hated us uh-huh yeah i hated the components which is a thing perfectly
fair i think people were like that was seinfeld you would be the michael richards oh no and you'd
be the jerry seinfeld you've been on your journey and you had a cancer scare so you'd be the Jerry Seinfeld You've been on your Jerry shit this whole trip
And you had a cancer scare
So you'd be the Elaine as well
Okay
You are Jerry, Nick
You think I'm Jerry?
You're Jerry
Absolutely Jerry
I'm the Jim Halpert of this show
You are
No, you are
That is real
You are the Jim Halpert
Yes
Yeah, that's very accurate
Fair
Yeah What's KB's office comp? Sexually Oscar Yeah That is real. You are the Jim Halpert. Yes. Yeah, that's very accurate. Yeah.
What's KB's office comp?
Sexually Oscar.
Yeah.
Mentally Kevin.
You can't do that.
Okay.
Okay.
No, I think.
You can't accuse me of being a Jerry without.
Physique.
Whatever.
Physique Angela.
With an Angela.
With a little tight Angela bod.
Angela had a tight pussy as well.
No, but that's one of the things
you knew as a consumer of the office.
That Angela had a tight pussy?
Yeah.
But she still got ran through
by a few members of the office.
A congressman?
Yeah. Gay congressman? Yeah.
Gay congressman, right?
Yep.
We have Jeff on today.
Jeff, we're here in Chicago with you.
We're going to do a little bit different of an episode.
We are going through the Spotify Billion Plays playlist.
We're just going to react to what's on there.
What has been big enough to have one billion fucking streams? How many are in this
camp? There are 105 songs. That's not that many.
Not a lot. And they'll be some quick...
A billion is almost incomprehensible.
That is so many fucking...
We have 45
videos on our YouTube, and I think we have
2 million views
total. I think it's like 200,000, but yeah.
Oh, no. We don't have to
compare ourselves to show how gigantic gigantic a billion is let's tell how the fans how big a billion is by
comparing it to us i'm happy with the product we put out and it is the most inconsequential thing
compared to you've said it a million times the absolute worst musician is a million times
cooler than the best podcaster even more like yeah yeah yeah and that's just true that's besides the
acoustic guitar uh singer at the fucking hotel you kyle got roasted he's down really bad i was down
so bad coming off of some shit. Some shit.
Sleep deprived.
Needed an old fashioned. You were in the third gear.
I needed the old fashioned so bad I said
don't fucking even touch that orange.
I don't need the rind. I promise
you I don't need the rind. He said are you sure?
It won't be an old fashioned. I said
no rind. And he already had the rind.
He was just fucked up because he had to throw away the rind.
He wanted to burn the rind when you were in Nashville.
He was peeling it as I was telling him.
I was like, no rind.
And he was finished.
And he was like, oh, it's already ready.
Might as well.
I said, no rind.
So what does he do with a rind?
I don't give a shit.
No rind.
It's the principle.
But you went to this acoustic show and you were down bad and you just wanted to vibe out and the the guitarist was just giving you shit well first jack johnson
and then what he played banana pancakes i don't even know what he played i i entered i entered i
sat at the bar as he finished up he got no uh applause there was like four people there and
he singled you out and then he just started doing crowd work on me instead of singing he was just doing acoustic crowd work on me yeah yeah he was like
like a tank top on do you think he does comedy or he decided in that moment he definitely does both
okay and he's just equally yeah he's in the same boat did it break you no just like i don't want
to fucking do i don't want to want to go back and forth with you.
I want to drink my old fashion.
You've been close to breaking a few times on this trip, though.
I've been breaking.
So we'll get to the music, Jeff, but you went to...
We were in Madison, Wisconsin.
No, no.
Big college town.
I went back to the RV to sleep.
Kyle, you went to...
I got to hear one of these
Billion play songs
I think Nick's praying on my downfall
He's praying a little bit
No no no
You went to a
College house party
I wanted to keep the show going
It was a happy hour
I'm trying to keep it going
And statistically
The closest house
That had a party
Was a college house
So I fucking entered
I entered i asked
them are you pre-9-11 they said yes i said i'm coming in do you yeah i don't care if you
remembered it necessarily but yeah they said they cried when it happened i said yeah because you
were a baby but that's fine they were all pre-9-11 babies and i yeah i was like yeah let's fucking
drink should i have gone to the party was it fun would i've enjoyed myself i'm a i'm a better man than you yeah so i will admit what happened
they had what happened it was a college female girl house and they had a
the shrine of celebrities a bunch of pictures of celebrities michael b jordan the rock matt damon the bear from ted
that was just ted
fuck the bear from ted
uh zach afron um janice michael sarah yeahera Kermit
The Frog
The Frog from Kermit
The Pope
Steve from Blue's Clues
Pete Davidson
and fucking
Nick is on it
Nick is on it
I was like how do you know Nick
and it's a stupid picture somebody printed
a picture yeah it's a stupid picture of him
and I was like I was like at least I can roast him
yeah because dummy
looks juxtaposed with these celebrities and they're
like no he looks super hot in that
picture
I still stayed
oh man do you think there was gonna be any surprises that's a colossal l
on your end we've all been stacking no this fuck this fuck this because you haven't i have kyle
you literally have but you had not stacking you've been getting w sporadically right but i don't get
l's in between so where do i shoot the w's i have to stack the w's to be
space space conscious because i'm planning on getting a few more no we were all at the restaurant
in our section of the table where we were just clowning each other for like oh you've been taking
l's oh you just took an l the oh the they didn't get your order right you took an l and then nick
comes he did the walk that he rehearsed in the mirror to look cool he comes up and he just starts
talking about how he stacks W's.
No one was talking. You disrupted
the entire flow of the conversation.
It was all self-deprecating.
We're all throwing funny blows
at each other and you're like, I just stack W's.
And everybody agreed. Nobody was like
no one cared.
Nobody could name a Nick L.
Owen was
so annoyed. He was so annoyed.
He was so over it.
Is that true?
I just don't know if you stack them.
But if I get nothing, if I stack them, you get nothing.
I don't know if you've ever stacked.
You get a W, and then it's a plateau where there's no Ls.
But does this W, is it made of sand?
Does the tide wash it away? You're not an Aztec print. It's like, where there's no L's. But does this W, is it made of sand? Does the tide wash it away?
You're not an Aztec print.
It's like, I don't know.
They're a solid W, and I just put it there.
And I remember it.
And then I get another one, and where do I put it?
On top of the prior.
Give me three consecutive W's that you can even qualify as a stack.
I can't without spoilers.
True. True. Don without spoilers. True.
True. Don't spoil. True.
But was this
conversation before or after you and I tried to start the
Viva chant in the
steakhouse? We did try to start that.
We did. We did.
Yeah, you guys did and it didn't
work and you were only surrounded by people that
worked at Barstool Sports.
There was a table that was shouting at Glennie Balls,
and KB and I just saw opportunity fit, and we let out a couple vivas.
Glennie is amazing to see out.
I've been spending a lot of time with Glennie.
I've never had in my life.
And, yeah, amazing.
He transcends the human experience.
He lost his phone in Nashville.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Sports.
Sports are out.
Penn's just got sports going on.
Yep.
The rich get richer.
His team literally scored a goal as you're about to explain how this man can't lose.
Glennie can't lose.
He lost his phone in Nashville, which is like my worst nightmare to wake up hungover with no phone.
And you have to leave.
Nashville isn't for us.
Nashville's not for us.
But I can see the appeal.
Broadway is definitely not for us.
No.
No.
Definitely.
And I'm like.
We did a transparent party bus.
Yes, we did. That is something you should not do. No. Definitely. And I'm like... We did a transparent party bus. Yes, we did. That is something
you should not do. Yeah.
KB, you and I are more similar
in terms of our going out interests.
In terms of like types of bars
and... But I don't think
Broadway is for us. That's like... Yeah.
It's just not our scene.
Yeah, it was...
No, it's not. It's not.
I couldn't tell if the small-time bands
that are playing in every bar,
do you think those guys get a lot of pussy or no pussy?
Because there's no in-between.
I've learned from my experience
that everyone is just getting a lot of pussy.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And I'm not.
Are you the odd man out of pussy?
What?
No.
I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but people are getting pussy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Not us.
What's got a Billy, Jeff?
105 songs.
105 songs with a Billy.
We'll skip any that.
If it's something we don't know, we'll just skip it.
We're not going to listen to all these songs straight through.
What are the chances we don't know a song that has
a Billy in plays? We will know. I'll shuffle.
We'll know all of them.
Will you tell us where on the list it is?
We all have heard every one of these songs. Had to have.
Right? Yes. If it has a Billy in, that means
we have heard it many times.
I bet you Imagine Dragons has like five
songs with a Billy in. Here's the first one.
I haven't heard the song.
Yes, you have.
Who's this?
Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna.
Oh, yeah.
This is...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've heard this.
Yeah, this was playing on your transparent party bus, and you were getting down.
No, it was not, because this is the type of song KB and I put would have put on the playlist and they didn't play any of our collaborative playlists and
i entered a bunch they didn't play one they played one of my songs and it got it garnered audible
it garnered audible booze and i turned into the guy who was like pulling up like uh pitchfork's
top 100 songs of the decades and showing like hey this was number 12 it's widely regarded the
rolling stone gave it number nine of the decade as one of the best songs ever kyle you put on
like four songs and then you put on the what was it second to last episode of two bigs
on that playlist on shuffle so i did sneak that one in there i did and i and i like tried to hack
the phone so it like had the the automated voice that also reads the name of the song.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
I'm shocked that one is one of those episodes is still up and two that they're still doing the automated pre-rolls.
Oh, my God.
So if you are to listen to, I don't know, any acronym based one.
And then you hear Ken Jack talking about better health.
That's the automated intro.
If that's the first voice you hear on that podcast,
it's pretty funny.
I gasped.
But that's a hypothetical.
That's a pure hypothetical.
Do we just want to say we think they're deserving of a billion plays?
That one is.
This is what I came for.
This is what you came for.
I would have never guessed a billion.
It's fringe.
It barely makes a list.
Rihanna is probably one of the most famous American musicians.
She's from Barbados.
But yeah.
Next one.
Calvin Harris has Europe on him.
Calvin Harris is insanely popular and good.
But he's also hot.
You've seen his dick?
I've seen his big dick
Where'd you see his big dick?
When I went on the Vegas trip
When I got caught with the cocaine
Yeah
I met some fellas, some girls
And
That doesn't mean the same thing
Which one?
I like calling groups of girls fellas
Is that an earthy tactic?
No, and then
She was like, yeah, I got Calvin Harris' dick pic.
And then she showed me
and I was like, I'm out of here.
It's gigantic.
So it's hot, talented, rich,
famous, huge dick?
Huge dick, no flaws. On the dick.
What about...
He's not a great singer. I think he sang
Feels So Close.
That probably has a billion too.
No.
Is this the next song?
This is Happier.
There's a lot of dance music. By Marshmello featuring The Churchills. This is
one of my favorites. Are Bastille
and Churches adjacent?
Churches with a V? Yeah.
When did that become a thing?
I don't know. There's a ton
of them. The movie? Yeah, the Vich VVI.
And then like Camp does double A's.
It's fine.
And now everyone does nothing but lowercase and like X's and stuff.
Those are two EDM songs in a row.
I'm wondering how many rock songs are going to be on here.
EDM is big because Europe just goes crazy for EDM.
Yes.
In the same sense that Latin America
1.6 billion plays.
That's incomprehensible.
Here's the next one.
I went to this concert,
the virtual Fortnite concert.
Never played
Fortnite.
I legitimately, I wanted an excuse.
I had Molly left over. I wanted an excuse I had Molly left over
I wanted an excuse to take it
And I justified it by like
Yeah this Marshmallow set
And I modded my controller
You modded your controller
So you jump a little bit higher
Okay so this
This is the
This person is on it more than anyone
That's the best way you can do that
It was better than
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran occupies I think
Five or six spots in this club
I'm just curious, like,
this type of music, like,
he's like, like, he's like
Jack Johnson a little bit. Like, they're
popular, but what do you do when you're listening
to this music?
You shop at, like, TJ Maxx
or something. Yeah, this is when you go to Target
with headphones. You're not working out.
You can't work out. You can't party.
When you're at the live shows, what are you doing?
Yeah, this is a weird area
of concerts.
You're not working out to this.
I've never been to a style of concert like this.
Where do these billion plays come from?
People clown me for going to Rave music.
This is a cheat.
I never got like
Ed Sheeran concerts.
Sit in a bleacher and just like
imagine if I got like a black eye from an Ed Sheeran concerts. Sit in a bleacher and just like bop my head.
Imagine if I got a black eye from an Ed Sheeran concert.
He occupies five of the top 20.
If he tells everybody to open up the pit, do a wall of death.
Has anybody staged dove at an Ed Sheeran concert?
Yeah.
All right, next up.
I'm surprised there's no Imagine Dragons
oh hell yeah
Post Malone's gonna be on there a lot too
and I get that because
it's hip hop so it's a popular genre
yeah it sounds good
but it's also for white people
yes yeah that's the cheat code
that is another cheat code
alright Post Malone we'll see him again
also notice like
Jack Harlow's blowing up too.
I feel like white rappers should blow up kind of have to be
caricatures of white people.
A little bit. Yeah.
Does that mean Lil Dicky's too much of a character?
People are obsessed.
They're always like a little goofy curly haired
Now they like the white guy
who does like A-A-B-E dialect.
Yes, it's Angus Clow.
They love him
and I'm a hater
but like
why
I'm a huge hater of him
because he was like
a dickhead to an interviewer
and everybody's like
he's
I love this energy
but anybody else
he's just really high
on the red carpet
everybody else
that's an asshole
he's talking in a daze
like someone with special needs
yes
and he's
appropriating
the black culture.
Yes.
I don't care.
I mean, I do maybe.
I don't know.
I should.
Do I have to?
Is that something I have to
like get offended by?
Well, Kyle,
if you want to, you know,
dip your toe into that culture,
I bought you a t-shirt at the...
Yes.
You want to go snag that?
So you can maybe...
Maybe this podcast
will get
not that
oh
that's a hell of a set
that's a hell of a set
but that's not what
I'm talking about
I did buy you that
yesterday
I'm talking about
what I bought you today
that was from a boutique
in Chicago
so for the people
just listening to this
I got Kyle 5X
it has Marlon Brando
as the godfather. I'm going to go
try it on. Okay, but he's wearing
a... What Jordan is that?
It's a 12. It's a Jordan 12
and on the back it says the J father.
That doesn't rhyme.
By the way, the J does not work
with the godfather font whatsoever.
It looks like the pie symbol.
The second highest writer
of Big Dog Shred going out on his own
and made the J father.
This is going to be it.
This is Dua Lipa, by the way.
She's sneaky British.
Isn't she Albanian?
No, she's British.
I thought she was Albanian.
I definitely seem to do claim her as an albat.
He claimed her the only celeb Albanian
What the fuck?
I just looked in the mirror. It's way too big.
Stand up. Give me a false
stand. You're the J-father.
Dude, when I bought
that at the
when I bought that at the
thrift shop down the street
they like rang a bell
like it was a Long John Silver's to alert
everybody that somebody finally bought
the J-Father. So I don't know if it's
a cursed item or
it's so big it was
probably taking up a lot of inventory.
But yeah.
Her name is Albanian.
Her name is Dua Lipa.
So is mine.
The only person Albanians are allowed to claim
is Eliza Dushku.
And you.
They can claim me and Dushku.
But you can't have Dushku
and I in a room together.
She'll fuck me.
For fans out there of The Big Man on Campus,
you put Nikki and Dushku in a room together,
you guys are both
coming out the same.
For fans of Jeff Nadeau, the big man on campus,
we were at a rooftop bar, the W in Madison,
and somebody was taking pictures of...
Somebody wanted a photo of some of us,
and he's like, hey, take it, my buddy.
He's not a big fan.
He's like, yeah, I don't really know Barf,
I just know Jeff Nadeau.
We were like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, there's...
You know what?
There's routes for that to happen.
Yeah.
That is odd, though, of like being a Jeff Nadeau fan
but not knowing about Barstool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's his thing.
That is his thing, yeah.
Post Malone again.
Post Malone again, yeah.
Again, he, yeah, he. Again. Yeah, he's
talented.
This has got to be up there for Top.
I want him to do, like, folk and shit
again, though. Yeah, that's what he started out as
and he was, like, a big fan of, like, Skrillex's
first band. Alexis is
on fire.
This is one of the older songs on the list.
Wait, did songs just start getting
billions of... But, like, you'd think, like, older songs would... list. Oh, The Weeknd? Wait, did songs just start getting billions of...
Yeah.
But you'd think
older songs would...
Where's fucking
Cannon and Deep?
You can't measure
streams back then.
There's very few songs
before 2010
and even fewer
before 2000.
There are a couple
on there.
There are a couple
before 2000?
I want it that way.
Backstreet Boys
probably has to be on there.
Oh, I don't think so at all.
That was so like
an American bubble band.
Maybe. Yeah, but I'd imagine a lot of these
are because... Oh no, I bet you Selena Gomez
has a couple. The Latin Americans
love to support their
stars. Daddy Yankee is like the most famous person
in the world. It's the first band on here.
Big Bunny.
You guys would clown me if I was just like, guys, I bumped
into Daddy Yankee last night.
You'd be like, okay.
I wouldn't even know what that reference was.
I wouldn't recognize Daddy Yankee. I would not reference
Daddy Yankee. I would not clown
you. That's impressive. You would like it if I bumped
into Daddy Yankee. He's gigantically
famous. Yeah.
They're Puerto Rican, aren't they?
What is this? This is 21 Pilots
This is Columbus
The second best Columbus band to attack
Attack stick stickly
They invented Crab Corps
And that's when they stood really low
And their guitars were like touching the ground
And they invented
Crab Corps in Columbus
That's so sick
Jeff pull up a...
Pull up crabcore?
Attack, attack, stick stickly crabcore.
Crabcore?
So usually punk bands will hold their guitars low.
Yes.
And then hardcore bands lower, power stance.
These guys did crabcore.
So it was like this.
Get on that.
And their guitars were fucking touching the ground.
And it was horrible music.
Music video?
Yeah, the music video is
the best because they're like in like a rural columbus barn doing very hardcore well it's
crap core not hardcore is this stick stickly is this yeah so it's six sticklies named after the
nick jr character oh it's just that named after the stick stickly. Yes. Yeah. Not it's no there's no deep
reference there.
Very on the nose. But yeah, there are
lead singers like pudgy and in a barn
and it's just like the most
Columbus thing ever.
Did you see how they put the guitar
on their head?
You'll see that everybody's
not crabbing yet.
They're not crabbing yet?
Then what is that?
They're getting a little low, but they ain't crabbing, brother.
Oh, it's horrible.
They're starting to crab.
There!
There!
Oh, there!
There!
Dude.
That's why I'll never, like, I can never take you seriously when your music opinions are expressed.
No, I don't think they're good. But I think they're influential.
To who?
To fucking who? The Columbus
music scene will be up there with like
the Detroit fucking jazz
and fucking Chicago rap.
Space talking? No. Yes, dude. I'd be willing
to bet they haven't influenced one single
music style ever. You'll see, dude.
No one has tried to mimic the crab's
core. We'll look back at the crab core Columbus era.
I thought we were going to do a walk down memory lane with mainstream hits and Nick has somehow managed to spin this into his own stupid obscure taste.
Dude, I'm going to get a lot of love for bringing up crab core.
You probably are.
Someone's going to paint you like a fan merch of crab core.
Send you crab core fucking merchandise.
Did you see on the subreddit?
They send you gifts of our
plenty and then the subreddit was like putting a care package together for the boys they gave me
like a pokemon binder a pokemon figure a bunch of first edition pokemon cards very valuable and
they gave you two sopranos vhs tapes yeah i know that meant a lot i appreciate it no it's awesome
very thankful and they gave i want a bb gun that's it that it. No, it's awesome. Very thankful. And they gave Owen a BB gun. That's sick.
That's pretty cool, actually.
It's just Sam Smith.
They said because BB is short for baby boy.
The baby boy gun.
I like that.
We worked through some.
Drake.
We passed Drake.
He's on here a bunch.
So Sam Smith came on in our RV.
And oh, fuck.
Sam Smith came on.
I thought you said in the.
No, no.
They came on. No, fuck. Because I can't say. I thought you said they. No, no. They came on.
What was that?
No, fuck.
Because I can't say what I was about to say.
Sam Smith, his music video came on in the Chicago office, and White Sox Dave said, I
actually like him even though.
Oh, no.
And I said, even though what?
And he just looked at me.
Yeah, he meant I actually like them.
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
I actually like Z Zim.
I thought this was, was this isn't Latch
Latch should have a million
imagine Sam Smith converting to Crab Corps
I remember thinking he was a black woman
when I first heard Latch I was like
who is this
I thought it was a very fat
black woman
it was not quite well black woman. It was not quite.
Well, wasn't there a big controversy
with the women who sang It's Raining Men?
The music video came out and they used
thinner fake women.
Honestly?
This sounds like a black woman.
Am I wrong?
No, it sounds like a black woman.
Just like a black lunch lady.
With an incredible voice.
With kind of like a static belt.
Do you guys remember the Jordan Sparks song, Armor?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's just a thing.
Yeah, you better go get your armor.
You better go.
I always thought she said you better go get Sharonda,
which was like a big black friend to help you out in a fight.
It sounded like she said you better go get Sharonda, which was like a big black friend to help you out in a fight. It sounded like she said, you better go get Sharonda.
Likely
lyrics.
I think people purposely skew the
pronunciations to get people talking
about it. Yeah, and here we are.
A paid paradise,
put up a fucking lot.
Do people think it says fucking? That's what I thought. A fucking lot?
That's just contextually
on you.
Full house was
milkman, the paper boy,
and old man, Jiviti.
What was it actually?
The evening TV.
You thought it was Jiviti.
Old man, Jiviti.
I thought it was a mischievous name.
I bet you Post Malone likes attack, attack.
Dua Lipa again.
Of course.
Albanian Pride.
Post Malone again.
Post Malone occupies maybe as many spots as...
It is shocking how huge he is.
And we are only like one...
Glennie is just as boys with him.
Yeah.
So this is number four all time.
Of course Glennie is.
What is this?
Rockstar.
This is 2.4 billion streams.
Dude, he does like his voice thing. He sounds like he's in the band Bright Eyes. You remember Bright Eyes? This is 2.4 billion streams. Dude, he does his voice thing.
He sounds like he's in the band Bright Eyes.
You remember Bright Eyes?
He does the same voice thing, but it somehow is just
cool when he does it.
And Bright Eyes he made fun of.
Shawn Mendes next.
You know what? You'll know.
Not a lot of bands.
Oh, he ate.
Not a lot of bands.
Bands aren't big.
Are bands One Direction?
What was that words that he just said?
Better than he can?
Fair.
You're bad at that.
I think there's nothing lamer than knowing all of the words to a very wordy song.
That means you have practiced.
No one just naturally knows.
I walked in on my roommate, Chris Goff,
doing assisted
handstand push-ups on the wall,
memorizing one week by the
Barenaked Ladies.
That's awesome. If you're doing
whatever he was doing,
then it's fine. I don't know if it was to time out
how long he was doing the assisted
handstand push-ups.
He was jacked.
That's sick.
I would have to remember A-Con and E-As songs in middle school.
This is one of my favorite songs ever.
Is Omi Cheerleader on there?
No, but it's probably a lot.
I'm responsible for a couple million of those.
What about Rather Be, Clean Bandits?
That's the next one, right?
Oh, no, Rockabye by Queen Bandits on there as well.
I don't know if Queen Bandits is Bandits on Twitter.
The fact that Rockabye and Queen Bandits aren't surprising.
How many white people who went to college between 2010 and 2013 memorized the fast part of Can't Hold Us by Macklebone?
Oh, yeah.
Turn off the Mac.
What it is, what it is, what it is, what it is.
That's a more better way to get out of bed.
If you were a white guy who liked to go out and try to get pussy.
But I overcompensated by learning King Kunta by Kendrick Lamar flawlessly.
Flawlessly.
You have King Kunta.
If you just started, I could...
Wait, how did it go?
I just need to...
Need to play it?
No.
No, keep going.
Okay.
Can we talk about HelloFresh real quick?
Please.
Stay With Me by Sam Smith.
Yeah, put Stay With Me because that's what my money's doing.
It's staying with me because I'm not spending it on delivery.
It's – I'm – fucking HelloFresh.
It's delicious.
It's so good.
I can't find the ad copy, so I'm just kind of.
Well, HelloFresh gives you those great meals.
Thank you.
We're going to post it in the description of the YouTube video.
Which is great, because I have HelloFresh arriving for like right around when I get back from this three-week excursion I've been on.
I'm not going to want to make entire meals, but I want fresh meals, because we're eating like crap out on the road right now.
Yeah.
Yeah. It Jeff, you can go to
HelloFresh.com slash story16
and use code story16
for up to 16 free meals
and three free gifts.
That's a lot of meals.
This is Sam Smith.
Yeah.
Bieber again. A lot of Bieber on here.
This album is fantastic.
This is my
favorite era
of life
when
Justin Bieber
had this like
style of like
pop mixed with EDM
with like the
tropical house
have you heard
the grayscale cover
of this
don't
no
have you heard
the crab rock
pop punk
then
eagle
go eagle yeah I thought so I put you on the crab rock pop punk band? Go Eagle!
I thought so.
I put you on a grayscale.
One song.
Grayscale's good.
I don't get her
head. I don't know what
she doesn't have a top of her head. You can see
her cowlick when she's taking
a picture of the front of her face.
She's very vertical.
Oh, she is.
Imagine that she's your first anus celebrity
interview. You're like, you're vertical.
What's that all about?
I think she's 2D.
Yeah.
Is she the one that was dating
Madness?
No, no, no.
They just broke up?
He needs to...
Honey.
Honey.
Justin Bieber again.
This is...
So a little backstory on this playlist.
We were just kind of hanging out on this trip
and playing these songs.
We were in the back roads of Tennessee.
But the Bieber song came on,
and you mentioned this as well, KB.
This song falls into that window
where Bieber is just doing EDM.
Unconscious too.
Sorry.
Wow, what do you mean?
Cold water.
Let me love you.
And where are you now?
And that was back from bike to bike.
Ooh, a pre-2000s.
Okay, Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is the oldest song on here.
It's gotta be.
Because the movie probably boosted it.
It makes me sad. Big ass teeth. It's got to be. Because the movie probably boosted it. It makes me sad.
Now it's Big Ass Teeth.
Here's the thing.
That has to...
I bet you that's the longest song on there, too.
This is one of those songs that it comes on and I don't enjoy it.
No.
I don't think it can.
I'm going to go with Billion Plays.
I bet that plays a big factor, too.
You're right.
All these songs are shorter now for play reasons.
A lot of people were doing that intentionally. Rock songs used to be, what, six minutes? A lot of people are doing that song should be what six minutes a lot of people i mean you're wearing the biz
kind of with nico with nico and people are cutting down their songs one one minute 30 seconds the
most recent like really popular uh little mouse x song is only like two minutes long yeah it's like
just the catchy part they're not none of this yeah the one that was a single just now it's
like a big tiktok song we're making songs specifically was a single just now, it's like a big TikTok song. People are making songs specifically for TikTok.
I think that's like...
Yeah.
Selena Gomez.
Yeah, her beat name with Kygo.
This is a big one.
Golf Buddies with our boss now.
I hate how you're not allowed to make fun of her anymore because she has lupus.
I will, that moon-faced bitch.
She's not that hot at all.
She's a fucking she's a fucking queen seven
it looks like if you like pushed in anywhere on her face it would stay i don't think yeah
i don't yeah yeah yeah she yeah i want to i don't know i think it'd be therapeutic to like just kind
of mush her around. Mush her around.
20-year-old pilots again.
Yeah.
Isn't this the fucking... They have a couple?
No, I thought this was the song from...
I love how this guy just like...
Suicide Squad.
This guy reversed blackface.
He painted everything but his face black.
That was cool.
Yeah.
He always climbs something.
He was always climbing in a tree.
There's a back of the black flips.
Yes.
Yeah.
I memorized car radio, which is corny.
You can't memorize 21 Pilots.
I actually actively hate this song.
No, he's whispering in the top of your voice.
And then he gets to a...
We have been doing this, but this song I don't think deserves a billion listens.
No, a lot of...
Yeah, no.
This was just made for commercials, I think. This is like a jingle song. And I think there's not a lot of, yeah, no. This was just like made for commercials, I think.
This is like a jingle song.
And I think there's not a lot of bands on this list because band names are inherently cringy.
Like, hey, what are you listening to?
I'm listening to Dance Gab and Dance.
Like the bands that you like.
What are band names?
What's a cool band name?
Some of the biggest band names are just first names.
Dave Matthews Band, Zac Brown Band.
Yeah, that's cringy.
Imagine Dragons.
You can't have a cool band name.
It's the same as a
social media handle. Just make it your name.
I fucked up early on.
You guys got it right. Just make it
your name or what you go by.
Why don't you just make it Kyle Bauer?
Let's take it.
Nah, I can't. You can't.
I can't. But you did get a new phone
and you don't know how to use your
fucking cellular data.
Data. Your cellular
data. That's what my grandma does.
This was mine.
Now I just get texts from kbal21
at gmail.com. Is that what you do?
That's what it comes up as?
That's why everybody's been calling you kbal21. That's why everybody's been calling you KBAL21.
You thought we just thought of that coincidentally?
Wait, I've been getting iCloud?
Yours comes up as Owen Roeder or whatever at gmail.com.
In our group only.
No, you're everywhere.
Why wouldn't anyone tell me that?
We've been calling you KBAL21 at gmail.com.
You never told me.
I'm actively embarrassed for friends when they're iCloud. Oh, yeah.
You know, a couple of you are like, oh, you don't need your phone.
I've been getting way less ha-ha
reactions lately. I didn't know why.
It's because nobody's going to ha-ha K-Bow.
I guess that, yeah, it's weird. But, like, why K-Bow?
Why didn't you just finish it out?
You just needed the E-R. You have no
problem adding that to other words.
Alright.
You're going to count that as a W.
You memorized King Kunta and Django Unchained.
Bitch, where were you when I was walking?
This song's incredible.
This was when I would leave the apartment complex in college,
and it was like spring and nice.
This would be the first song I threw on.
I had a tape deck aux.
This was when I was a freshman
in high school on cross country team.
I would listen to this song every day.
I think a lot of these have the luxury
of having a decent music video.
This one's like a stuffed animal fight club.
It's a cop fight but with a teddy bear.
The best version of this song is when
they played it with Kendrick Lamar at the Grammys.
Fun fact. What? I've put that on twitter was mind blown blown away you're like
a rapper in a band and can perform together basically the mindset but it will happen
once every 15 years you remember like jay-z and lincoln park yeah that works m and m and l that
was the that was the most culturally impactful song
ever. The Numb Encore remix.
When I think of LimeWire, I think of Numb Encore.
That's all.
Timberlake and Jay-Z.
Oh yeah, that's pretty good. When was that?
What song was that though? I think of
LimeWire, I think of Numb Encore and also Fort Minor.
I think of, I tried
to download the Grease soundtrack
for all of Grease
and it was like 9 gigabytes
and I didn't know what that was
and I downloaded it
and I came back the next morning
and it was like done and it was one second long
and I click it and it was just
Microsoft Sam going Grease
and then the computer just
fucking broke
it just fucking broke.
It just fucking was done.
Oh, man, there it is.
What are you talking about?
This is Macklemore.
Can you do it?
Can you do it? Oh, I thought this was fucking difficult.
So he came out.
Macklemore was like huge.
And then he came out with that downtown song.
And that is one of the worst songs.
The worst song.
The only silver lining is that the female voice singing
Downtown sounds catchy. That's a man.
His lyrics. That's Foxy Shazam.
That's a man.
I could definitely still sing this song. It's like Matthew Koma.
They sound like women.
Yeah, dude. Oh, man.
Is this gonna get taken down off
of Spotify? This song?
No, no, like us doing this i don't know what a
shame it would be who cares we'll throw it up on youtube right yeah you know what if it gets taken
out it does it to good listen we're canceling cancel culture oh yeah oh my god downtown does
there's a part of downtown you don't need no beat that's cool you cool. That's a man? Yeah, that's a guy that goes by Foxy Shazam.
And he dresses like he's from the 60s.
One of the coolest album covers ever.
It's him with red paint on his hands.
And then a bunch of black women with his red handprints on their ass.
Yeah, that's cool.
There's a big sing-songy part at the end.
Yes.
This was more of a play than a song.
Yeah. It was a performance.
Travis Scott,
Goosebumps.
Yeah, it makes sense.
Good song.
Good remix, too.
Lewis Capaldi.
Does anyone here have an opinion on Lewis Capaldi?
Lewis Capaldi? Is he definitely? I like Lewis Capaldi.
Which one is he?
He is shockingly ugly.
I love musicians.
He's super ugly.
He's self-aware about it.
He's awesome.
And he's funny.
Who is Lewis Capaldi?
Watching him on, what's the gay British guy's talk show?
Cordon.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Graham Norton.
Graham Norton.
Oh, Tim Westwood. The greatest interviewer in the world, Graham Norton. Graham Norton. Oh, Tim Westwood.
The greatest interviewer in the world, Graham Norton.
Yes, he is.
But he got put on by the guy from One Direction, Niall.
And it is just like seeing them side by side is shocking.
Yeah, it's staggering.
Yeah, it's like the Kutcher brothers.
Oh.
Believer.
Imagine Dragons again.
Yeah, it's amazing.
There is one song
that is going to come up on here
and we will be talking about it
for the entirety of the song.
Does AWOL Nation sail?
Is that a billion plays?
I don't know,
but White Sox Dave
is friends with these
original AWOL Nation members.
He's on a podcast
with one of the AWOLs.
That was big
my senior year of college as well.
Sail.
Well, that was in Vine.
They would just put big high school football hits to it.
You're right.
Ruled.
Let her go by passengers on here.
That's actually kind of surprising.
This is in the same vein as Lucas Graham.
Five for Fighting.
Like the sad.
Oh, here's that suicide.
Twenty-One Pilots.
I hear it a lot.
They're on it three times
out of only
a hundred songs
and this song
I actually might hate
this song more
than the other one
yeah that's bad
I was gonna say
for Let Her Go
let
what's the James Bay one
is it Let It Go
Let It
Let It
Maybe
whichever the James Bay one is
it was the only song
I had on my
phone when i went skiing
and i went up to top of whiteface mountain by myself and just skied down double black diamonds
listening to that and i was just barreling down straight down didn't know how to ski just to that
and it was the biggest were you loving it what a weird size insane i just remember that when that
passenger song came out like a bunch of guys that were
hot
learned how to play guitar, they played that
and then they played Hey Ya
you had to specifically search for that
the Let It Go
no, no, the Passenger
it's easy to stumble upon those
they would go viral all the time
guys, it's a lot of great terms
I know the type that does that
but dude, every
bicep dude
that played guitar was playing
Hey Ya in a coffee shop.
Just so they could be funny
for the shake it part.
Yeah.
You gotta really speed it up on the guitar.
Ed Sheeran again, by the way.
Obadiah Parker.
Has a real slow Hey Ya. Oh, Shape U is the most streamed song of all time on Spotify. What is? Shape U by Ed Sheeran again by the way Obadiah Parker has a real slow hey uh
it's actually
oh Shape U is the most
streamed song of all time
on Spotify
what is?
Shape U by Ed Sheeran
3.114 billion streams
how much money
does that net you?
Spotify like 50 bucks
yeah
what is it like
one
I think they got better though
Taylor Swift went back on
I think they got better
and Cooper got like 60
yeah
right
these guys are paying Alex Cooper's salary.
This is, in my opinion, and I do believe KB's opinion as well,
the greatest remix of all time.
That's Flume, Tennis Court.
This might be.
This is tough.
Well, Sieb didn't do much.
He really didn't.
You love giving Sieb a boatload of credit.
Yeah, I do.
I'm a big Sieb guy.
He just did the generic tropical house beat that everyone was doing.
It does sound amazing.
Most assume
this is just Mike Posner's
original song.
There's a significantly slower version.
They even copied the riff of the guitar
and just made it electronic.
Remember when he did a show two days after Avicii passed away
and he paused what he said?
The Avicii line of the song and everyone like
which is one of the worst
lyrics of all time
he even made it the
titular like the name of the song
I took a pill in the pizza
that's just like a lame sentence
yeah
he just made a TikTok and I always thought his
voice was like edited edited and pitched up.
He just speaks just like this.
He does.
Mike Posner.
I don't even know how to do his voice.
Is he the one that got bit by a snake?
He rebranded it as a cross-country walker, and he's still doing that, even though he's not.
That's still his brand.
That he's the cross-country walker?
Yeah, I think he's addicted to Apexes now.
Oh, okay.
Mountain Peaks. Yeah. That's a slippery slope. I'm a fan think he like, he's addicted to apexes now. Oh, okay. Like mountain peaks.
Yeah.
I like,
that's a slippery slope.
I'm a fan of this song too,
but French Montana.
Yeah.
French Montana,
unforgettable.
French Montana famously
sat outside our office
and like refused to come in
for an interview
for like three hours.
Yeah,
I remember that.
There was like a panic
with all the bookers
like,
you won't come in.
That gave me hope.
I was like,
he's nervous to like be around
these,
these,
the Skulls and Stars. He's nervous to be around the Skulls and Stars.
He's nervous to be around Big Cat and
Casey Smith.
Is he a Muslim?
Because he was dancing in full
Muslim era of rap
when they just loved using
Middle Eastern
Indian
Pakistani beats.
French Montana is an odd looking guy,
right?
He was just dancing around
in his Arab gear.
I think he is.
He must be Muslim.
He looks like a nepotism nephew
of DJ Khaled.
Yeah, he really is.
That's like
Nicolas Cage.
Isn't he a nep-nef?
A nep-nef?
A nep-nef?
He's a nep-nef.
Nep-nefs are sneaky.
I'm surprised Kendrick Lamar isn't on here more than he is.
I'm not. I think it's a little aggressive
for some people, some of the masses.
That's a good fair point.
He had one song that started with A.A.
and it was always the first song
when he plugged in in a car.
Yeah, he gets that Afghanistan love in the drop-down menus they get a lot of playing time they do
people think of 9-11 put Afghanistan on the map drop-down menus yeah how many accidental
Afghanistan submissions should be the first and that's like I always like make fun of old people
like when like they get they get telemarketing calls of like uh where are you at where are you from if you're here speaking
if i'm on an american site and i'm scrolling no i do get pissed that's when i get xenophobic
not xenophobic i'm just like why if maybe if like the uk was first on accident but afghanistan
fucking how many clicks are they getting on that?
Shawn Mendes again.
Yeah.
Good song.
Yeah, he...
Straight man.
That's a good song.
Ed Sheeran.
I'm sick of Ed Sheeran.
Benny Blanco,
Eastside,
with Halsey and
Dan Kalin.
Where's Kalin from?
You know.
You always correct me.
He's from El Paso.
I always say Amarillo
then you correct me
and say El Paso.
He loved being a teenager and then he stopped and he just fell off. He's not a teen me. I was saying El Paso. I was saying Marillo, then you correct me and say El Paso. He loved being a teenager, and then he stopped, and he just fell off.
He's not a teen anymore.
That was his thing, 19.
He loved being a teenager.
That's a rough thing to make your brand.
She wanted to be 40.
I would not have guessed Mendez would be on this much.
Who?
Halsey was like, I'm 40.
That was her brand.
Yes.
It worked. It did work.
Ah.
One of my favorite songs of all time. Yeah, this song's
good. It's amazing. Country
EDM. It's flawless. It's flawless?
It's a flawless song. It's a flawless song.
You were really
hit by a song. Is this your
biggest celebrity death that impacted you?
Yeah, I think
I cried when they showed
the Stockholm church
playing it with church bells.
The Avicii tribute concert is
awesome. I had a
Galantis concert
the night of the Avicii death,
I believe.
Did it get cancelled?
They played some of his songs.
I might have made that up. It might have been Mac Miller's death.
Okay.
Somebody can fact check.
Yeah, somebody will check you off.
This is a top three song all time for me.
All time?
Like, favorite.
I'm not saying greatest.
Just my favorite.
Like, this will always make every playlist I make.
How many of these are saved on your phone?
A lot of them.
I gotta say a lot.
None of the Ed Sheerans.
Right, like, I don't know if there are remixes I have saved.
That just shows that we don't fucking know what's good across anything.
And we always try to be like, oh, everyone else is stupid and wrong, but I think we're just flawed.
If it's a billion people, then we're wrong.
Did not think this had a billion, but I'm not shocked now.
What is it?
Take me to church. The subway video videos what got it over the edge. Yes
Busking
Yeah, you're like fucking a girl just like
Did you fucking busk? This is the 30th
most played song ever.
And that's actually kind of crazy because this is 2013.
But like, is this just for like
do you just play this at like
young deaths?
Is this like a young death song?
What are you talking about?
This is a gay song.
It's a gay song?
He's not gay.
Josie is not gay. He's a gay song? Gay song? No. He's not gay. Josie A is not gay.
Is he?
Josie A is not gay.
He's talking about going to church.
That's the least gay thing.
Yeah.
Well, it's the horseshoe theory.
It's either the least gay or most gay.
There's no in between.
You either go because you hate gays or you are.
I like this song when it came out, though.
It's a good song.
It popularized
the indie voice
that became really
corny
yeah
Fifth Harmony
this song's awesome
what a hot hot
video this is
oh yeah
they were literally
working at a home
yeah
they gotta work
but then they just
stopped being
they stopped doing that
didn't they just
break up after this
yeah she
they were still together for a while, but
Kimo Kabeo did go solo.
Whatever happened to Jessie J and her perfectly cubed head?
Yes.
Yes.
The money song?
Beats me, dude.
Fucking Jessie J.
Does Daniel
Pauder bat day?
It sounded like it.
What if Daniel Powell had a 5 billion plays?
It will get there the more people are eliminated.
What a genius move.
He wrote a song that would end up being the sad montage
for every reality competition for the next 20 years.
It was American Idol.
Yes.
Every person got eliminated from American Idol for like two years.
I was inconsolable.
I was inconsolable when I saw Bucky Covington walking away with Daniel Powder in the background.
After he did Simple Man, maybe his best performance.
God damn.
Anyway, fuck John Lennon.
John Lennon, legend.
Fuck them both.
This is 2013 as well, top 30.
Fuck his wife who thinks having cookies is cool too. Fuck them both. This is 2013 as well. Top 30. Oh, all right.
Here it is. Fuck his wife who thinks having cookies is cool, too.
We've talked about this song off a podcast many, many times.
This song doesn't make any sense.
No, it makes no sense.
And we will talk about there's a part in Seven Years by Lucas Graham that is truly fascinating.
Yeah, I know a part.
But I don't understand the first fucking line.
Seven years old. Once I was seven years old. My mama told me.
That's implied. You should have said that.
Some friends or you'll be lonely.
That could be argued.
You're seven years old for a while.
Oh. You're infinite times.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
Once isn't the right.
Also,
who was thinking that?
Who had that level of
delusional confidence and thought you were bigger
than the world? Actually, I'm not sure Nick knows this.
Owen said when this song came out the other day
that you raged out to this song
in college.
I was a senior in high school.
I visited Fordham the week this came out.
EDM remix of it.
That has to be the worst song of all time.
A skillfully slow build-up.
Yeah, we listened to it non-stop for a three-day weekend.
Dude.
Well, it's almost like that country singer Sam Hunt.
He's hot.
He's good.
No, he's not good.
That's what the fucking Chainsmoker did in Closer.
He tried just to...
Oh my...
Which we'll get to that one.
Yeah.
Sam Hunt is one of the
best hat wearers
I've ever seen.
Yes.
He rocks a forward hat
so cool.
So well.
His lyrics are so fucking funny.
Yeah, he's like...
That breakup in the 90s song
starts out in a bar tent.
No, breakup in a small town.
Breakup in a small town.
I knew you were looking at me
from across the bar.
So you may not be able to hear this in the pod, but this is knew you were looking at me from across the bar.
You may not be able to hear this in the pod, but this is the part that we got.
This is the part.
There's a part of the song where I'm going to turn it up for a second.
Does he spell his name with a K?
Yeah.
That's cool.
He puts a part in the song where there's an announcer at a stadium going,
Lucas, bro.
And the crowd roars.
Crazy. So, yes.
How cool is he? he was a nobody.
Yes.
Released that thing.
What?
This is his first song.
His first song.
He had the foresight to be like, I'm going to put this really risky Lucas Graham. Like stadium-sized crowd.
Then his first song was a billion people listened to it.
A billion people listened.
He was right.
He knew.
He knew this was going to blow up.
Insane.
Do we have any Lizzo on here?
I actually don't think she's on here.
Wonder Republic makes its debut on here.
She has a show?
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
Is it Finding Her Background Dancers?
I think Lizzo did it for the big girls, but she has a lot of high girls.
Why?
Yeah, she's trying to find background dancers.
Do we like One Republic
Where do we stand in One Republic
I don't like that it's one word
And I also think they suck dick
So that's the two big flaws for me
When going into
All of their songs start the same
I loved counting stars
Have you ever seen anybody
Wearing a One Republic t-shirt
I don't think they have merch
No they don't
I don't think
They have a song
with a billion plays.
They have a club band
that has zero merch sold.
That's their financial plan.
They cut costs,
but they just don't
produce any merch.
No merch.
They're like the Cheddar's
Casual Cafe of bands.
All their songs
start the same, too.
Very, very slow build-up
for 15 seconds
and bang right into it.
And they're all recognizable.
Yeah.
Steve.
What's this?
Snapchat Steve.
This is Bruno Mars.
We've not heard of him.
I thought we'd hear a lot more Bruno Mars.
It's that one.
I have nothing to say about this.
Oh, here we go.
Chainsmokers.
Again.
With Coldplay.
Oh, is this the superhero song?
Something.
That is the creepiest lyrics of all fucking time.
No, Chainsmokers' lyrics are all like that.
No, but combined with Coldplay?
Which part of the song? I'll skip to that.
It's like the beginning, right? It's just like
he talks about having Superman's
competence or some shit.
No, take his laser vision.
Isn't that...
If I had Batman's
grit, I'm not looking for
somebody with some superhuman gifts,
some superhero, some fairytale bliss
he starts naming superheroes
oh he does wait yeah you're right
it's really fucking funny
the best is when the actual chain smoker
sings
those are the worst lyrics
what are the worst lyrics
stay in in Paris with your parents
that's him
that tattoo
on your shoulder.
I found it.
I've been reading books of old,
the legends and the myths,
Achilles and his gold,
Hercules and his gifts,
Spider-Man's control.
Spider-Man's control.
Batman with his fists.
If I saw Spider-Man
and I was like,
I want his control.
What the fuck does that mean?
Not in control
because he's a young boy.
That's the whole theme of Spider-Man.
I want Adam Duritz's face.
Not his fucking two friends
cast members.
Maroon 5, Cardi B.
Maroon 5, not on here
as much as I thought either. Maroon 5 is always on lists. Maroon 5 not on here as much as I thought either.
Maroon 5 is always on lists like this.
I thought Payphone would be on there.
Yeah, you could have convinced me all of their songs were on it.
I can make a guaranteed zero
gym class hero songs on here.
No Travi McCoy?
Well, it's wrong again. Congratulations.
Travi McCoy dated Katy Perry for a long time.
Incredible
pool. Yeah. I mean And Travi's a hit.
That was when she had the Elmo shirt on SNL.
Yep. She was with Travi.
And that's what their big song's
about. Their Jim Claus Heroes song.
Lucid Dreams, Juice WRLD. Yeah.
That song?
I like it.
What is this? Cardi B, I Like It. This makes sense.
We just saw a J Balvin
pack of Miller Lite and Target like 20 minutes ago.
He had a meal at McDonald's too, did he not?
The J Balvin, yeah.
That was after the Travis Scott.
Yeah.
Dua Lipa, I love this fucking song.
This song is great.
This song gets me in a good mood every time.
Yeah, it's a good song.
Dua Lipa's awesome.
I hope people can hear the song.
That part made me think of TikTok during quarantine.
See, that's actually one of those. I've made me think of TikTok during quarantine.
See, that's actually one of those.
I've actually noticed that, I will say.
I'm not a big TikTok person.
I will willingly and gladly open a TikTok link because they're typically funny.
But I'll play music and be like, oh, there's TikTok.
I can't hear that.
I'm like, really?
I don't know.
I fucking still like it.
Yeah, it's odd.
It's the same way songs used to get that way on the radio, but you don't listen to the radio anymore.
Yeah, true.
Is this Imagine Dragons?
What an awful song.
Yeah, it's a bad song. What an awful fucking song.
Are you on the fence?
I just don't like it when people say
Imagine Dragons are a terrible band
because so much music is
so fucking bad.
They're just bad
for how popular they are.
No, I wouldn't even say that.
They have four songs
in the billion,
five songs in the billion.
That's what I'm saying.
They're not bad.
There are so many people
creating garbage music
getting still...
I mean, this is...
Amazing.
Sorry, Justin Bieber again.
You talked about it earlier.
It just falls into that...
I just wish he was
in the music video
instead of those
Thousand Oaks, California was in the music video instead of those thousand oaks california dancers and like the stupid yeah soccer gear yeah it was a lot it
was a lot of athletic i hate it when the artist isn't in their music video yeah you should be
the star yes it's yours it's not even like a like a did you slip sing it at least yeah instead of
somebody else doing something that's almost more egotistical to not be in it.
This is not as much of a cringe
like the Chainsmokers song.
Don't let me down.
Don't let me down inherently is a
cringey line, actually, when I say it out loud.
But they don't sing in this one.
Who's this singing?
Daya from Mount Lebanon, PA.
No shit.
I think Lil Skies is from there, too. We talked about this. I said he was from Mount Lebanon PA. No shit. Wow. I think Lil Skies is from there too.
We talked about this. Yeah, yeah.
I said he was from Chambersburg. I think he's from
Waynesboro. Okay. And then I shouted out
District 3 and the District 3 heads
were very excited
about that. We have a lot of District 3
PA heads. We'll have to do a live show there.
What else we got?
The Carlisle termplug resta
Halsey without me
what do you mean
Justin Bieber again
that's another one
incredible
is Halsey hot
yes
oh yeah
I think so
her name
it's an anagram
that's one of those
that you
there's no denying
with like
personal taste
wait
why is there no BTS
on here
they have to be that's a great fucking point actually I think this playlist is moot with personal taste. Wait, why is there no BTS on here?
They have to be. That's a great fucking point, actually.
I think this playlist is moot.
Here's Desposito.
Daddy Yankee, Louis Fonzie.
Louis Fonzie.
What's Louis Fonzie up to?
I don't think much after Desposito.
Do you think he'll go into a bar with me
and be like, wait, that Louis Fonzie?
Probably. In Mexico? go into a bar and be like ideally like wait that Louis Fonzie probably yeah
in Mexico
like yes
there are a lot
of songs that are
well over
over like
800 million
BTS
and this is a
super super
fucking ignorant
comment I'm about
to make
but does like
I don't know
does Asia and
Korea have
like different
they do
they must
I would say
that absolutely
plays a factor
yes they do otherwise they would be number one without even blinking yeah Korea is South Korea Korea have different... They must. I would say that absolutely plays a factor.
Otherwise, they would be number one without even blinking.
South Korea is the most powerful country in the world, I think. I don't understand how their art or their media is so massively received.
Cheap Thrills by Sia, who made one of the worst movies of all time.
The best Bieber music video is his first.
Absurdly offensive movie.
Yeah.
Music.
He's house-sitting for fucking Usher.
Yeah, and do a bowling.
Have you seen that?
No, he has a house party.
Oh, yeah.
He gets a call from Usher.
He's like, can you hold the four-ton?
He's like, yeah, I can do that.
And then it goes in.
I remember that.
Then it got the most dislikes in history.
Remember the weird Sia music video where it's like Shia LaBeouf
and a little girl.
Maddie Ziegler.
It was in music.
She had Maddie Ziegler play an autistic child
in the movie Music.
I don't want a 12 year old
doing weird
artsy body movements
in a contortion.
In nude colored clothes.
No.
It feels wrong to say
Mark Ronson's song and not
a Bruno Mars. I've always been bothered by Uptown
Fuck not really being
Bruno Mars' song. So I'm
a big Ronson head because
he got prime Rashida Jones.
No.
She dips beneath lasers.
Which is a Workaholics reference.
I don't think anyone watches.
You and I watched Workaholics over the summer for a while.
She went from Ronson to Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend.
Her and I have the same taste.
I don't...
Would you rather have Rashida Jones or
Olivia Wilde
Olivia Wilde is pointy
but
Olivia Wilde has the sharpest
jawline in the history of the world
which I'm not saying is necessarily a bad thing
it's just a very sharp jawline
is that a real, those
divorce paper things? I would
guess yes.
It was custody, right? That's so Hollywood.
It's like such a Hollywood thing. Yeah.
I don't even know. She got served
while she was giving an award.
I think that's labor for the server
because they were trying to have that own
moment. Yeah.
At the end of the day, Sudeikis got his heart
when she broke up with him.
Did she cheat on Sudeikis?
With Harry Styles.
What?
You didn't know that?
Yeah, he's in for a new movie with Florence Pugh.
Are they still together?
Wait, are Wilde and Styles together?
That's a great question.
They've not been in the public eye as much as when they first...
I'm surprised Stiles
fucks with girl pussy.
She, her pussy?
He has to be pan.
Yeah. Because
if I was so attractive to
everyone in the world, I would feel the need
to fuck everyone. Like every type of person.
You're wasting. I'm gay because I...
This guy is so
attracted to me. Why wouldn't I?
So Bowie was a very notoriously
bi. Edit that out.
But he
later on regretted it. He wasn't.
He wasn't. He's a fake bi?
Yeah. There's a lot of fake bi's now.
So he's just gay or straight? Straight.
He said he always preferred
women.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He just, like, kept trying one more butt?
Yeah, I guess.
But, like, Styles.
Do you think anyone in the Billy Club is, like, struck out recently?
No.
See, I disagree.
Freddie Mercury.
Recently. No. Freddie Mercury. Recently.
Oh.
No.
Lewis Capaldi.
No.
Lucas Graham.
How though?
I can see Lucas Graham.
I can see Lucas Graham
having like a...
Lucas Graham looks like
Clark Duke
from the office
yeah and from
Hot Tub Time Machine
wait so is that
what he looks like
yeah
I always
I picture a little
Sasquatch
no
no
I met
I met
Lucas Graham
and Hillary Clinton
within 30 seconds
of each other
good morning America
which one were you that's actually very insane I met Lucas Graham and Hillary Clinton within 30 seconds of each other at Good Morning America.
Which one were you?
Actually, in France. Very wild back-to-back.
Yes.
He asked me what my name was.
I said Jeff, and he went, excuse me?
And I said it again, and he gave me no reaction and walked away.
Nice guy, but I must have called their shot.
I think Glennie has at least five of the people in the Billy Club saved to his phone.
Which he lost.
This is Lucas Graham.
He looks like Clark Duke from Hot Tip Time Machine.
That's Lucas Graham?
Yeah.
Good on him.
Interesting.
I don't think there's any G-Eazy in this playlist.
This was weird.
Yeah, no.
I would say so.
But he's very Halsey adjacent.
He just dated her.
He dated her and he's tall.
This song I despise, but it's a kid's song.
It's from Trolls.
What is this?
This is God's plan.
This is God's plan.
What's a song that I want to have brought back?
Oh my God.
You pissed me off when you said that
Was it Sicko Mode?
No, Hotline Bling
You said Hotline Bling was underrated
You could argue that it is
Objectively the most overrated song
Of all time
I'm not even debating
That was the meme of him
Doing the dance move
That song is the most overrated song.
You can't play that anymore.
Why?
You just can't.
You can't.
Imagine playing Hotline Bling.
That's probably true.
Imagine sending a girl a playlist and Hotline Bling is on there.
This one's about to be the number one most viewed.
Jeff, you played Hotline Bling recently.
I actually moved in
from a playlist
because I got made fun
of for commenting.
There we go.
Thank you.
So Blinding Lights
is about to become
the number one
most dreamed song
of all time.
That's crazy.
What's Hotline Bling?
By the weekend.
You've heard this song.
A bloody-nosed cokehead
driving, speeding.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is it?
I mean, this is honest.
This is a song
that gets shit
for the TikTok thing as well.
I found this out last summer. People were like, oh, it's a TikTok song. I'm like, I don't found out last summer, people were like, oh it's a TikTok song
I'm like, I don't know, I fucking love this song
I think it's a great song
I think there's a theory that you put so much
the best musicians put so much effort into their music
that when it comes to naming the song
or the album, they just
just throw in the towel
you think?
because look at
the Weeknd's album names
are Starboy
That's awesome
Kissland
House of Balloons
Oh man, those are
really funny
Kissland
Kissland
This song is between a good ass group
Starboy
I'm a motherfucking star boy
And that song is incredible
It is
Party monster
He wasn't subtle
Can't feel my face
Was like a top 25 song
For over a year
Just being numb from
What's this?
DJ Snake?
I'm sorry this is on here
What a terrible? DJ Snake? I'm sorry this is on here.
What a terrible name.
DJ Snake. DJ Snake.
Yeah, the best bet is just go with your name.
Latin America.
Yeah.
I've never heard this song.
Yeah, you...
Yeah, you have.
Promise you have.
XXX is on here a lot, by the way.
Not a good guy.
More than zero times?
Like four or five times.
Ed Sheeran owns
five of the top 20 most streamed wedding DJs.
Yes, exactly.
Cheerleader
by Omi is dead!
That's a big win
for the boys.
I did not expect that.
That's a huge win
for the boys. He had a follow-up song, which was not nearly as successful as the first song.
No, no.
It was about a cheerleader as well.
I think I'm right on this.
It's a toy that you would find in your garage to play with in the driveway.
A close.
A ripstick?
No.
Frisbee.
Hula hoop.
It was hula hoop.
I think that was his next song.
And it just didn't do it.
This song is in the same compartment as my brain as like the
When I get older, I will be stronger by K-Naw.
Yeah.
There's a compartment.
That's the World Cup.
That's a World Cup song.
Those are the only.
But this compartment is only these two things.
I had to replay maybe.
And they tickle a fucking G-spot in my body.
It's a tickle.
It's a tickle sensation.
We just stood up and high-fived.
And that was genuine, too, I might add.
Dude, yes.
I'm stoked for Omi.
We got to listen to this whole thing.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And the lyrics are terrible.
So bad.
He's just talking about, like, I love you.
When I need motivation, I want a solution.
Because I didn't.
My queen.
Well, lyrics are dumb.
Always.
He's telling his girl he loves her
because when someone else asked her
if he loved her,
he said,
no,
not really.
This song's awesome.
And I would argue that popular songs
can't have deep,
meaningful lyrics.
No,
I'm not like,
it needs to have meaningful lyrics.
It just has to sound good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hula Hoop hit 240 million listens, but this is 1.2
billion. Yes.
This is the most deserving
one on here.
Yeah.
Any LMFAO?
I think there might be. No way.
I think there might be. There's no way. Oh, Charlie
Pooh makes his debut.
Okay.
One of, like, the not greatest last names in music, I feel like.
Do you fall on the eyebrow conspiracy?
Is it a scar or does he shave it?
Oh, I think he purposely shaves that.
Because barbers do that.
Yeah, they do.
But his is glaring.
What are you saying?
Do you get the poof?
What the fuck did Puth do to get that scar?
That's like reserved for like Vikings.
He hardcore made out with Meghan Trainor at an award show once.
What do you mean by that?
Like hardcore?
Dude, that's a hardcore make out.
Like really just, I don't know.
Is that French or tongue?
They Frenched.
They fucking tongueed?
They Frenched on stage at the 2015 AMAs.
Oh, on stage.
He's got Junie Cortez's sloppy seconds.
Yes.
Friend of Barstool.
Is he?
And Meghan Trainor, yeah.
Hell yeah.
And her brother.
Was Meghan Trainor in the quippy female Ghostbusters?
It's ironic she'll never have one of her last names.
No.
No.
You didn't make that up.
Yeah, I don't know.
Wow.
Ariana Grande is on here a bunch, and we just got through her first song, so just a bad shuffle.
I don't think she's a good singer, but I don't understand.
Her music is, I can hear it, and I'm like, this is great, but I don't like it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Adele, hello.
The voice is clear, and it's nice sounding, but I don't like it. Yeah. Thank you, Ned. Adele, hello. The voice is clear and it's nice sounding, but I don't enjoy it.
That's the only thing you can say.
Like, I have nothing bad to say about Adele, but just like, sure.
Got it.
Adele is just like, yeah, she's phenomenal.
I love Adele.
I love Adele.
There's some songs.
I don't have like a, like, oh me, I'll stand up and high five a cheerleader.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sicko Mode by Travis Scott.
This makes complete sense.
Do you think Adele's ever played on touch tunes?
absolutely
what are they playing?
yeah yeah
should I give up or should I
just keep chasing the hell
yeah
I think maybe
the Weeknd's music is just
fucking good
I think he's the best artist
alive
and this is the most I don't know anything about music
comment but I feel like I'm right on this
his music is also recognizable
his songs all sound so different
like all the sounds
stick to the same
like his style is so recognizable
Labyrinth does now too
Labyrinth is
insane how good he is Like his style is what I can Labyrinth does now too which is very good Labyrinth is I'm crossing my fingers
by the way
that I love Labyrinth
but I'm crossing my fingers
that Tiny Temp
is on this list
Oh dude
We only got a couple more
to start
Owen and I actually saw
a Tiny Temp
cover band
in Nashville
while you guys were
doing stuff for the show
We were so sick
of the honky tonks
So we found
a Tiny Temp
cover band What's the smallest, tiny, tiny cover band.
What's the smallest band that has a cover band?
I can see someone, like a local art band,
painting someone to be their cover band.
Okay.
There's a Billy Joel cover band on Long Island
that's pretty well known,
and I think people knock that band off.
Yeah.
I would love for there to be...
They say they're them.
I want there to be an anus recap podcast.
No, because someone, like one guy will try it and I will.
Or like see a quadriplegic react to old episodes.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
Zayn and Taylor Swift, Fifty Shades.
I don't want it forever.
Zayn sings like a baby talks.
Very horny song.
He's beautiful.
He's flawless.
Great voice.
Wait,
is it Taylor Swift's song too?
Yeah.
He is significantly hotter than her.
Like in a feminine way.
Oh,
he's really hot.
Yeah,
he is,
yeah,
significantly.
I also,
I will never,
I actually like the One Direction lads.
I do too.
I like One Direction,ads. I do too.
But I'll never have anything but respect for his consistent
despise of being
in One Direction.
He hated it from the get-go.
Just hated it. And then eventually left.
Until the reunion tour makes $111 billion.
Oh my god.
Cocky shit? I don't think I could date
Taylor Swift. Why?
I think I would hate her.
Like within a month.
Would you break up with her?
I think that's one of my
delusions is I think I would break up with Taylor Swift.
She's not my type.
Not only do you think you could obtain Taylor Swift.
No, if I did, I think I would
be repulsed
by her personality.
I used to to just be nervous
about getting written about.
I wouldn't care about that.
I mean, Gyllenhaal's still fine.
But she's
really good looking.
Taylor Swift?
I'm a Gyllenhaal defender.
I want Florence Pugh to
be reproduced
en masse.
I want that face.
How much does it upset you?
I want more of that face
in the world.
You're a Florence Pugh guy?
And it wouldn't even benefit me
because I would be too old
to be a page.
I don't know if you were
such a big Florence Pugh guy.
My favorite.
Isn't that your new
Merlin O'Jess?
It's Florence Pugh
and Carly Rae Jepsen.
Drea de MateTaylor.
Actually, I've moved on.
Saoirse Ronan is my number one.
Every stage of her.
Oh, no.
I'm thinking of Rebecca Black.
Oh.
She's lesbian now.
It's like a blue bomb.
She's very hot.
What?
That Florence Pugh is dating Zach Braff?
That's a turn on.
Okay.
That's a red flag.
Yeah.
I've moved on.
Saoirse Ronan because she's just
very Irish.
You like Saoirse Ronan?
Yeah, I like Saoirse Ronan.
I don't even know who that is.
Zoe Deutsch is too taken
and her boyfriend
is way too adjacent
with our company.
Zoe is just like
a pale Irish lady.
Yeah.
Nate.
Mine's a lot of douche coon. Yeah, yeah. Hmm. Mine's Eliza Douche-Ku.
Oh, yeah.
She was in a, she was in a, a, there was this guy named Freddie Wong on YouTube.
He made a series called Video Game High School.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Robbie Fox is like the number one kicker, co-worker, number one Kickstarter contributor
to that show.
But Eliza Douche-Ku was in this guy, was in one of his videos on YouTube.
I'm surprised
you actually don't know that.
She would...
She would attack me.
Dushku? Dushku would not say
anything wrong. Shout out to Cold Water,
Justin Bieber, Major Lazer, by the way.
One of the songs that Katie mentioned earlier.
This is loud.
This is loud.
This is the Ryan Ryback. Ryan is loud. So this is an example.
This is the Ryan Ryback.
Ryan Ryback should have a zillion dollars.
So I'm telling you, Ryan Ryback and Sieb are my two favorite remixers.
I don't know what you guys are fucking saying.
So Ryan Ryback and Sieb have created like four or five of my favorite songs of all time without doing anything.
I think they just put.
But this is your example.
I think they clicked under six
buttons to create what they did.
See, you're talking about the artist putting in all this
effort and then falling flat on the title
and Alba Martin or Ryan Reback put the ladybug
on the song.
With the Starley song.
He turned the Starley
Call On Me song from a
seven to an
eleven. This is your example of how
Europe really pushes a couple of these songs.
This song, 90% of listens
are European for this song.
Never heard this in my life.
A billion?
James Arthur's Say You Won't Let Go.
I hate his body type.
Dude, let go, let it go, and let her go.
He has this for like three years.
Sam's head, you would think he was an NFL tight end.
And then his head is just like so British and small and disproportionate.
His teeth suck.
Him and Sam Smith are just the same body type.
Sam Smith isn't like a linebacker.
They have these giant bodies and these stupid heads.
Nick is going to be upset when he sees Sam James Arthur.
James Arthur.
I hate his look.
Because he came up on X-Fact.
What the fuck?
Dude, his shoulders aren't even in frame.
That's fake.
That's not real.
What is it?
That's Shrunk.
No, it's not.
It's a Shutterstock photo.
That is Shrunk.
His collar is two inches off his neck.
It doesn't make sense.
Holy fuck.
Look at this.
No way.
Look at this.
Look at this cartoon.
Look at this douchebag.
The UK is disgusting.
No way, dude.
Honestly, that was a good song.
I forgot.
He doesn't know how to stand properly.
His body makes no sense.
He looks up that Twitter picture of those UK guys in the skinny jeans and black u-net.
I was so convinced that was Photoshopped, even though he was staring at the watermark across the photo.
Yeah, but it...
Fucking James Arthur.
Desposito's on here twice, by the way.
The original and the remix of Bieber.
That's impressive.
Yes. Well. that's impressive yes
well
it's impressive
Seven Rings
Verona Grande
again
Beyonce
is not
well Beyonce
I think title
is the problem there
I would argue
that Beyonce
is not very good
Beyonce
is in Ariana's
boat
except
I don't really have any bad feelings boat. Her music does nothing.
It doesn't tickle any of my brain.
Rihanna does. Beyonce
doesn't drop enough music to really
say that though. I don't know
the last Beyonce hit.
Lemonade was
about cheating on Jay-Z.
Jay-Z cheating on her? Lemonade was so big.
No, she was probably in the wrong as the woman.
Bad guy, Billie Eilish.
Are you a Billie Eilish guy, Nick?
I don't think I can claim to be or not to be.
Neither can I.
Okay.
I don't think I mind her.
I'm not into that style of really exaggerating your SSRI usage and apathy.
Like the Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski.
I like watching what celebrity surprise fans,
and whenever she does it, she curls up with them,
and that bothers me a little bit.
I don't know what that means.
She'll be laying on a big chair,
and she'll go and cuddle up with them.
I don't like that.
That was weird.
I don't know.
It rubs me the wrong way.
I don't like that. That was weird. I don't know. It rubs me the wrong way. I don't know. I'm sure that would
be a tough pill to swallow
for her.
From you?
From the guy who stacks Ws?
She kind of dumped him out for the first time
at the Met Gala.
Did she?
Can we say she even has big natties?
You can say that.
Yeah, she does. Yeah you can say that Yeah she
She does
Are you cool with that?
Her brother Phineas
Is talented as well
What's he
And her tits are
Phineas Eilish
Phineas Eilish
Is crushing it
Her titties are big naturals
Good for the Eilishes
So we got Phineas
We got Phineas
Kind of just like
Behind the scenes
Pulling all the strings
And then we got Big old fucking sweater cannons coming out of Billy.
Phineas, again, you're crushing it.
I'm proud of you, man.
You're working hard.
Billy, tits are enormous.
Phineas is killing it.
Phineas, tell me more about this music career of yours.
I haven't seen you in forever.
You're taller.
Billy, oh my God.
Billy.
Oh, yeah. Oh, taller. Billy, oh my god. Billy. Oh, oh, oh.
Phineas, man,
I really loved delving into
your projects. I was looking through a lyric book.
I bought it on Waxman.
It was awesome. I love the artwork.
I love the track listing you had thoughts in.
Billy.
That's me at the Eilish's house.
Again, that's me at the Eilish's house.
I'm like taking Billy to prom
and I'm talking to a brother downstairs
and she comes down the steps.
Yo, Finn, what's going on, man?
Dude.
Like, I love that.
Like, I love that concept.
It really resonated with me.
I related to it.
Yeah.
And then I just like glance up at the top of the steps.
She's coming down.
I make the sound of a fog horn.
Smokes coming out of your ear.
Yeah.
Just like onomatopoeia.
I have to roll my tongue back in my mouth
like the tuna can lid.
Fucking yeah.
Star-kissed tongue.
Sorry. Star kiss tongue Sorry I love
The concept
29 year old Nick
Going to the
In suburbia
Billy is graduated but she's still going
Yes
Nick's taking her Living with her in suburbia. And Billie is graduated, but she's still going. Yes. All the modern prom.
Nick's taking her.
Yep. Phineas is living with her.
How many more do we have left?
Time, Vance.
Do a tweet at Billie Eilish right now with just the sound.
You give the audio tweet to her.
You can't.
I've tried.
You've tried that?
Yeah.
I really have.
Not to her,
but to WVB basketball.
You can do it on Instagram.
Can you?
Just like a message?
You can do an audio message.
Does you send...
Somebody asked for an impression of yours
the other day.
Oh, yeah. Somebody asked you for an impression of yours the other day Oh yeah
Somebody asked you for an impression of the Sopranos
And you did it
I did it first try
One kiss by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa
Good song
Again I just learned about his big penis
Psycho by Post Malone
Oh my I did not expect this to be on here
Eminem Oh this makes sense I did not expect this to be on here.
Eminem? I'm not shocked.
This makes sense.
This makes perfect sense.
Yeah.
A lot of stepdads on here by Eminem.
I love...
There's got to be at least one guy
who pumped his fist.
There's like a trillion YouTube compilations
of other rappers respecting Eminem.
Yes. That only like
rappers who put Eminem in their top ten.
People love that. And usually
it's a thumbnail with like Jay-Z
and then two other people who aren't even in the video.
Yeah.
Charlie Puth, Attention.
The song I actually don't know. I don't know this song either.
I know this song.
I don't. I totally lied. I just didn't know the name of the song. Good on't know. I don't know this song either. I know this song. I just didn't know
the name of the song.
Good on Poof.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One Dance by Drake.
Except Rowan Medeman said
he was just bragging.
He was just bragging.
He was body cop bragging.
He was body cop.
To the Backstreet Boys.
To the Backstreet Boys
who didn't give a fuck.
No.
The Backstreet Boys
had him outpunted.
The Backstreet Boys
had probably
the Backstreet Boys invented body counts the Backstreet Boys
invented body counts
yes
you would think
Hanson did
but they didn't fuck
no
the body
I think the Backstreet
the term body count
wasn't used
until the Backstreet Boys
came around
Nick Carter
Nick Carter
is the closest
living
fucker
to Attila the Hun
yeah
that's a great
what if
what if the cult
the Backstreet Boys the Backstreet Boys could out fuck Attila the Hun. Yeah, that's a great what if. What if the cults
could out-fuck Attila the Hun?
They had to actively count.
What if the cults...
We have to keep track of this.
This is weird.
I'm getting tired of this.
How can I make
fucking these perfect 10 out of 10s
more fun?
Counting the statistics.
That's baseball. Statistics makes is more fun. Yeah. Counting the statistics.
That's baseball.
Statistics makes everything more fun.
They injected the Billy Bean method into fucking she, her pussy.
I'm more focused on another Billy Bean.
And they're not A's.
You don't want a clit?
No, sorry about her clit yeah
oh
Billy
which somehow seems way gross
it's way gross
they're talking about titties
they're talking about
like a younger woman's clit
as opposed to her big naturals
the one in from
the Hanson brothers though
counting down her 18th birthday
so you can talk about her clit
online
oh no
alright
oh no there's just one dance me I went back to the Hanson brothers so you can talk about our clip online. Oh, no. All right. Oh, no.
Is this one dance?
That ain't me.
I want to talk to the Hanson brothers.
Yeah, what about them?
I said that's a great what-if hypothetical.
They're doing charity work in Tulsa.
They have families of cows.
You think about sports what-ifs.
Like, what if the Hanson brothers invented body counts?
Like, what if they fucked?
I don't think they did.
No, but we know they did.
You can't be a bad and fuck a lot When it's your brothers
Backstreet Boys defended body counts
So the Hanson brothers could have done it
I'm trying to think of
Are there any siblings that fuck together
That you could think of
I think the Property brothers are destroying Zodiac
Oh, together?
Don't forget they have an emo third brother who lives in Vegas
That's right
He lives outside of Vegas
Really? He's very emo Yeah. Don't forget they have an emo third brother who lives in Vegas. That's right. He lives outside of Vegas.
Really? Yeah. That's awesome.
He's very emo.
He's shorter than them,
but he looks like them.
And he has a very seen haircut.
Like, wet haircut. I bet you that the tall family
on TikTok just fucks each other.
Oh my god.
They just measure each other every day.
I'll totally get taller and taller.
We are still seven.
I'm still the tall family.
Every video, the punchline
or like the
climax is that there's
their height.
Oh, fuck this. No. Old Town Road.
Disagree. Very good.
Very catchy.
I don't want Ch chandelier sia on here
yeah
dance monkey
dance monkey is the number
three most streamed song
of all time
dance monkey
is number three
in the world
and it's not the best
version of dance monkey
I will play it
I will play it
it's the Punjabi version
I'm pretty sure
this one we could not
get it
it's not even close
it's in the 100 milli club I believe
The Punjabi version
Are we allowed to say that
No that's a state in India
There's some things you can't say
I'm determined to crank this one up
Can't talk about clits
Elder clits are fine
This is not it
This is not it Hold on what is it. No. This is not it.
Hold on.
What is it?
Oh, I got it.
I see by his face.
Yeah, it's the Indian guy.
We played this one the other day.
Yeah, this song will always get the party going.
This guy rules.
Can you fast forward to the, just the...
Oh, my God.
That all looks good.
Is this the original?
Just the second
by a few minutes.
Okay, yeah, parallel thinking.
You mean the fast forward any part?
Imagine writing a hit song
and then the exact same thing just comes out
the day before.
Oh, fuck.
Now I guess I have a cover?
What the fuck?
Five million listens on YouTube.
That's it?
Yeah.
Should be more.
Is that how I sound to Indian girls when I speak in Hindi to them when I'm fucking them?
Do I sound that ridiculous?
I think so, dude.
So here's your song from earlier.
This is when Chained Smokers went, hey, how about we sing?
Oh. Which is, we talked about earlier. This is when Chainsmokers went, hey, how about we sing? Oh.
Which is, we talked about this.
Is it like a month?
So this is actually what inspired, this was a song that inspired us to do this.
It saved a fuck ton of money.
Yes, but it's such a jarring song because they are so not good.
And then Halsey comes in and just rips.
Like, it's just fantastic.
And they're so just like.
I looked up this song on Wikipedia the other day.
It has like nine writers.
All of the frays.
What?
Every one of the frays?
They said they ripped off the fray so much that they had to credit each member as a writer of this song.
So the fray probably made a bag from this.
I remember I had like a girl over once like in high school.
And I put on a fray music video because I was going to make fun of...
We were making fun of the fray.
He was just wearing the same exact outfit I was wearing.
She was like, wait,
you're dressed like the fray.
Then what?
Then you know what happened next.
We had to change that.
So it was like our Post Malone.
Yeah, he's pumping on this one.
This was Spider-Verse, right?
Yeah.
Faded by Alan Walker.
Now this is Alan Walker.
95% streams only in Europe.
This is shocking. I love Alan Walker
but I'm shocked he's on here.
This was Alan's Charlie Parker moment.
Yeah, I don't know this.
When this comes on
the pre, this is when Nick goes home.
Yeah.
That's when we lose Nick.
There must have been some type of
computer glitch in Belgium.
They just got a billion plays on this.
Shawn Mendes again.
This is with Camila Cabello.
This is a cheat code.
If you're dating and you put out a song together,
billion.
And if you're wildly famous.
The dragons are back.
They're the best
the best is shots
spoiler remix
this song
this song
obviously
a death boosted this song
this is the same as the fucking
Lucas Graham song people love lyrics about
aging and how sad
oh no this is not what I thought.
This is what I mean.
I thought it was five for five.
Oh, no.
I mean, this was made for the character leaving the movie.
Actually, well, they made it after he's dead.
And then he was like, hold my beer.
He died.
I mean, it's an emotional song.
And moment in the movie.
A franchise that should have ended the second the song ended in the movie.
Yeah.
Actually, even worse was the case this week. They just came out and ended the second the song ended in the movie. Actually, even worse
was the case this week. They just came out and said Vin Diesel's
a douchebag. He's a dick.
The director left the series.
And The Rock's not coming back.
The Rock has been saying for like three years now
fuck Vin Diesel. And kind of people
didn't believe The Rock. And then the director
Justin Lin was like, he's impossible to work with.
So I'm quitting.
And you know he's making so much money. And he was like, fuck Lin, was like, he's impossible to work with. So I'm quitting. And you know he's making so much money.
And he was like, fuck it, I'm out.
He's out.
I love Five Seconds of Summer.
This is them.
Youngblood.
Five Seconds of Summer is good.
I think the lead singer is ugly as fuck.
What's his name?
Michael?
No, Michael's the guitarist.
He dated Camille Cabello before she dated Shawn Mendes.
The guitarist is Michael.
And he is very ugly.
And then girls were still liking him because he's in a band.
But once he put in too much hairspray and his hair caught on fire,
and it's the worst picture a person's ever taken.
Post-Hairfire.
They were on Gmail.
Ashton Irwin, their drummer, is my most famous follower on Twitter.
Ashton Irwin follows you?
Yeah.
Their lead singer is like 6'6".
Hate that.
Mega Chad.
Australian guitarist, lead is like 6'6". Hate that. Mega Chad. Australian guitarist, lead singer.
6'6". I like all...
Game over for all the KBs out there.
No, it's not affecting me at all.
And he speaks Hindi perfectly.
No, he doesn't. John Mayer,
Free Fall Acoustic. This is Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper
Shallow. Great song.
They all start the same.
This had a moment.
This did, because it's very singable, I think, for people that aren't good at singing.
Yeah.
Correct.
The best is when he did this at the Oscars and they were like,
Hey, can you perform this as Jackson Maine?
He's like, no.
Wait, the character name is Jackson Maine?
It's one of the greatest football names of all time.
Jeez.
Jackson Maine.
Jackson Maine quarterback.
West Virginia, probably, actually.
Maybe.
Oklahoma State.
Probably.
Ah, Maroon 5 debuts.
There they are.
Is this Sugar?
Like, just Maroon 5.
It's Sugar.
It's a big wedding song.
This is when they surprised those people, quote, unquote.
Big, big, quote, unquote.
And that was it.
In the music video.
That was it?
That was it.
We did it, everybody.
So that's the Billy in Plays.
That's the Billy.
That's the Billy episode.
Shot no One Direction.
Right.
No One Direction.
Wow, that's a...
Yeah, but...
No Beyonce.
That is actually
very shocking.
But all of One Direction,
that's kind of...
One Direction is consistency.
Everything is over
300 million plays.
Really?
Yeah.
That is surprising.
Their top...
It's hard because Spotify doesn't always drag me down, which I...
No, that's just their most recent, I think.
No, but...
So of their list of top 10 most popular, that's the one with the most lists.
Steal My Girl is one of the better songs in the world.
Steal My Girl is so good.
A bunch of these are too old, I think.
It's hard.
Stockholm Syndrome, too.
Anything after or anything before 2018, 2019, it's tough to make that list.
Yeah, really.
That seems to be the most I make it.
Shout out to Omi.
Big shout out to Omi.
Big shout out to Omi.
He's the clear takeaway of this program.
Omi's that guy in the NBA Top 100, the Top 100, like the last 75, or Top 75 they had.
It's that one guy that shows up, they're like, this guy?
Omi's here? Omi's like, yeah. And then you check the stats shows up. They're like, is Omi here?
Omi is here.
And then you check the stats.
Omi is here and deserves to be.
He's asking himself questions on Curious Cat now.
He's down bad.
Let's get Omi back.
Let's get Omi back on.
Actually, let's see where he's at. I'm just going to rip through a couple stats here to end it.
let's see actually let's see
where I'm going to
rip through a couple
stats here to end it
most
the longest
the shape of you
has held it
by a chair
has held it the longest
that's
I would
historically
radioactive
imagine dragons
wake me up
of each
thinking out loud
Ed Sheeran
lean on major laser
one dance
Drake
and then shape of you
has held it since 2017
God
it's going to lose it
blinding lights Lights by the weekend
is going to pass it very soon.
Unless it doesn't.
That's very true.
Omi is one of those posters
where he
posts and deletes. All of his posts on
Instagram are from April.
The recent one has 182 likes.
No!
That's like
anybody.
That is really.
Omi.
Imagine being in the Billy Club.
I'm going to comment.
He only has seven comments.
I'm going to be.
Let's be all of his.
Let's be the majority of his comments.
Let's do an anus takeover of Omi's Instagram.
So we will just do full AMAs in Omi's comment section.
Let's be douchebags, but
let's make it about us. I'm going to put
ask me anything.
Nick and Kyle will both do AMAs
in the Omi comment section.
And then his bio is just who's
ready for some new music. He's not talking about his.
There's no link.
I guess me.
I'm always.
I guess I am.
Yeah.
I think he's asking for help.
And then hashtag Omi Army.
All right.
All right, guys.
Thank you for listening.
Omi Army.
I know it's a little story.
Episode 2.
90.
90.
That was good.
That was really fun.
Yeah.