A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 301 - The Knews, Violet Beauregard, Pubes Reveal, etc.

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

A New Untold Story: Ep. 301 - The Knews, Violet Beauregard, Pubes Reveal, etc. -- Full episode also available on YouTube -- The audio is not perfect. Nick is on vacation with his family. We did our best. Relax. Laugh (hopefully). -- Ad: Gametime - Download the Gametime app at https://barstool.link/GametimeApp and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Ad: Hellofresh - Go to https://barstool.link/HelloFreshSTORY and use code story16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts -- Ad: Raycon - Go to https://barstool.link/RayconANUS $20 off and use code UNTOLD15 for an additional 15% offYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. Hey, everybody. We were waiting to do the Game Time app. We did not forget. We didn't forget. This is the Game Time ad for our podcast. I'm doing it right now. I'm actually running up in Provincetown to go to a uh a drag show and i got tickets through game time luckily i got it 20 off with promo code uh untold i'm gonna go see these queens shake their cocks uh and thank you to game time for letting that be possible i'm gonna be right up in front and center. I'll be able to see what religion they are. Fuck yeah

Are you in blue jeans? Yeah it's so hot I have no laundry done Yeah I know Sheesh Alright are we good to go? Mmhmm Fuck yeah I sound alright?

Yeah crispy Fuck yeah Alright I don't know if you guys need a clap I don't know how that works um a new untold story episode 301 probably gonna be some Super Bowl hangover

from the Maresh episode um but this is a this is a a this is a new episode this is a this is a this is a new episode. This is a groundbreaking episode. Moresh fucked more in the past week since he was on our show than I

did this weekend. And that's saying something. Yeah, it goes without saying. Dude, Moresh got 1,500 likes or like 1,800 likes on his fucking instagram he is he's a marketing genius he knows what he's doing and he hasn't texted us back in a while you see his photo dump yeah he did he's fine yeah he did a dump it was fire but it's a fire dump then you're gone yeah and then

like people loved him and people were like hating on me because I was eating the fucking gift he got me. And during the episode, you were eating on camera. Yeah. A little peeve. Fucking got pop rocks now. I haven't eaten yet. Like I haven't had dinner yet. That should curb your appetite. Yeah. Well, the thing is, I don't have cash for the vending machine. And at the hotel lobby, these are just in a fucking bowl. And I grabbed like three.

I honestly think it's for sucking dick. But I've had like... We didn't assume it was for sucking dick. We thought it was a children's candy that did a little fun sensation. Oh, you're in a gay mecca. I'm in a gay Mecca right now. Is it as gay as it's advertised? Oh, we've been there, but it was granted. It was during the gay week. So yeah, it was gay, but.

During the summer, there's different weeks for different types of get. We were there during pride. Last week was bear week and I thought this week was going to be bear week, which would have been fun because there's a pool right here and the bears make good bases for chicken but incredible yeah but um the hair even adds like that layer of friction it's like when you're like uh doing pottery and you need to attach a piece of clay you like score the clay but no it's this it's fucking uh it's a lesbian week here which so like i didn't know what it was and i just got off and they were all fucking goose stepping down the main street

it looked like soviet russia that sounds that sounds like hell like a sea of lesbians and like there's like a lot of them like bmxing and i was walking to go get like go get water and this one uh this woman this lesbian uh very butch she had like an anchor tattooed on her forearm uh she like biked past me she's like watch out dude and she like bar spun and then like grabbed like where her crotch i think she think she wagged her pussy at me or something. Watch out, dude. Get out of the way, dude. I spun the bars and wiggled her big pussy.

Oh, yeah. They hate it when you taunt their pussy. I talked to Owen. You're doing the ads this episode, by the way. That's fine. We're leading off with HelloFresh. I can freestyle. Alright, HelloFresh. I can freestyle. Alright, HelloFresh. But they don't pay

for the top. I've been on a family vacation so I haven't had time to write any news. Do you have any? No, I've been dealing with... Average rent in Manhattan surges to $5,000 a month leaving people clamoring for government aid. They should be patient, though, because

if I've learned one thing from musicals, watching Rent in New York, you'll get the AIDS eventually. That was just off the dome as per. 28% of Sri Lanka's population is now considered food insecure. What?

You crinkle your laptop like it's paper? That's why I did the Pop Rocks. 28% of Sri Lanka's population is now considered food insecure. It's a real tragedy, Owen. Sounds like the country should be called Sri Lanky. They're getting skinny. Did I cut out? Your punchline was loud and clear, Nick.

Yeah, we all processed it and heard it clearly. Yep. A black man awaiting a kidney transplant. A black man awaiting a kidney transplant was beaten by hospital security in St. Louis. Rather than getting a kidney, this guy got an adult mate right

to the ribs. I mean, that was just a fire joke. That's your best. I'm going to follow that up with my worst. A Navy ship built in 1998 caught fire in San Diego while being renovated. One admiral has been disciplined, but the cause of the fire is still uncertain. An old Navy fire? My first suspect would be the Gap. Alright, you're right. That one

was your worst. That's right. A China-backed cobalt refinery and mine in Congo has been exploiting 40,000 child workers. Blue miners put in a dangerous situation in a factory? Hmm. Where have I heard this before?

Tell me. Oh, yes. Hold on. I'm not done. Oh, yes. That's right. Violet Beauregard in the 1964 story

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Nick is on vacation Did you type out hmm or how did you word that? So you're asking that because you know the answer Did you type it out and like bracket

it parenthesis four m's one n i italicized it yeah yeah okay because you delivered it nick is on vacation with his family baby wishes he could do that but he can't because he and his parents don't get along they don't have a great relationship. Kyle's mom tends to pry, and Kyle has a much shorter fuse when he's around them, causing outbursts of misplaced anger towards her. Oftentimes, Kyle will make his mother, the woman that birthed him,

cry her eyes out. that's all I have okay yeah you nailed the build up and the punchline there that's all I have right now we gotta hurry this fucking podcast up, though. Dude, and I took a subway here,

and I think I live... I could, like... How did you take a subway here? I could crab walk here and not be huffing and puffing afterwards. It's actually impossible for you to have gotten closer with a subway. I could bear crawl.

I could buddy... What? We don't have to hurry this up. I'm just gonna start to sweat because I turned my air conditioner... We did, too. Yeah, so we could hear you. I could buddy. We don't have to hurry this up. I'm just going to start to sweat because I turned my air conditioner. We did too. We could hear you and vice versa. The air conditioner, when I was adjusting it, it reminded me

it made me miss you because it reminded me of our conversations. You'll come up to me and you'll say, to me you'll come up to me you'll come up to me and you'll say uh hi cool I'll go back to you and I'll say hi fan well what would I say

you'd say hi cool you are a fan you're a Nicky fan oh yeah I'm a fan I have a good collection of ball caps makes me cool you have a gang of units. It's a wonder you can't get any AC. That wasn't a joke.

That wasn't a joke. You have like three AC units. You don't know what to do with them. I don't have three AC units. I have two. I don't know what to do with the other one. It's too heavy. I need't know what to do with the other one. It's too heavy. Wait.

I need to know. Well, I got you one for your birthday. I was like, dude, I'm digging Kelly Kapowski. And you were like, I want AC. I was like, I'm digging Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell. She's one of the hottest TV show stars of the last two decades. And you're like, I want AC. And I was like, damn, I was going to get you a Pokemon binder, but I guess I'll get you an AC. Dude, I was taking the subway here and they're getting aggressive. There's no way you took the subway here. He lives 500 feet from me. I know.

Well, yeah. I mean, saying I took it here is a stretch. There's the fucking they're getting the scam artists are getting relentless with the kids. And I usually they would use the kids to just like give you like they'll come up to you and try to sell you candy, which is fine. You can be like, no, I'm sorry. Hey, I is fine. You can be like, no, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. Now they're, they're utilizing littler kids, younger kids, and they're using different like strategic tactics. Like what?

Like this, this one fake couple like brought like a, unleashed like a five-year-old on me. And like he like initiated peekaboo with me and then asked, no, that's your weakness and then a little then like the a little bit older girl came up to me and was like hey give me five so i put my hand up big mistake big mistake she wanted she was she didn't want to high five she wanted five gum and then she she was mad she blew up on me it was violet beauregard she i ran into violet violet beauregard on the subway here that's right i forgot i forgot

about that yeah oh you're is that was that off the dome? Oh my god, I forgot we were doing news. Oh, news. Wait, do you have some, Kyle? Russia. Why are you already better at me than this? All you just said was Russia. Russia is in control of um new state-of-the-art

rocket launchers and uzis and they're they're attacking civilian towns in ukraine just blowing up innocent kids and all i had written down was blew up from bazooka um I thought I was gonna fill in the rest uh Adam Silver and the NBA are under controversy um for the 2020 Orlando Orlando I have to fill this fill in the blanks here for the 2020 Orlando bubbles mistreatment of some of the team's players

some were offered much better amenities and meals than others so they asked they called on to experts to review the footage from Orlando I guess the experts experts to review the footage from Orlando.

I guess the experts went to check the bubble tape, but it was all gone. That's a 10 year old girl, a girl chewed it all. And then she detonated before she could be interrogated. So it's a cold case. Well, you know, you can do these about other topics, right? Yeah. Well, that one's actually in the news Okay Dude

The people in West Village are They're too much What do you mean? Put together? Yeah At first I was like, oh, how exciting How hot everyone is Like within my block radius, it's everyone is just like top tier.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. I've been like, I've been dressing like a complete slob. Like in going, like working out, sweating profusely, stains all over my cutoff shirts and yeah i got bullied out of my bandana today in west village well no i tried to wear a bandana you can't wear a bandana that way unless you have cancer i know oh yeah wait a minute oh my god so Nick yeah yeah dude

felt like a fucking I don't know I thought I really thought I rocked it usually I do like I rocked it I thought you like looked fine cool I didn't realize how little people have worn bandanas in history because everyone was like prison Mike cancer. That's all.

That's all there is. Or black guy. Yeah. And which one of those would you most want to be? Not the black guy or the cancer patient. Did I rock the prison Mike like like Johnny Cash and Folsom. Fuck you, dude. I was waiting for that to turn into a Violet Beauregard joke.

No, I'm just saying. I know. I'm trying to telegraph every sentence. My new street is just filled with French win wineries with like stupid x's in the title and like little like i don't even know what to call them like oyster bars and i i my new thing is just to go in like as disgusting as possible and it just clearly like pisses off everyone but it's not it's still legal like you can't not serve yeah no i kind of had that at first when i moved in here too i would like walk around and like smoke and just like look homeless yeah i went to like a wine bar

slash i walk my dollar slices through mirandi like a five star oh yeah it's a it's and you can see like the like the fucking scoff on the like it's like a 38 year old couple from los altos who like they both work in fortune 500 and they just see me like bleeding out of my nose onto my fucking into my margarita from like snorting zen because uh the dust was just all that was left and i couldn't afford a new tin just like just gushing blood out of my nose into my fucking five dollar or seven dollars smoky margarita while they're inquiring about where the oysters are from in Prince Edward Island.

I believe that that's true. That's exactly what happened, but I wasn't doing it as some type of tactic. I just wanted that drink. It wasn't performance art. It was just life. I tried to reverse engineer it as an own by me.

What's this? Kyle, what's the first ad? We're going to have to start a fresh Zoom after this ad. But before we do, let's get into HelloFresh. Yeah. No, I'm on a free trial, so I just got to do

Zoom's hour at a time it's surreal to like walk past like brownstones in New York City and just see the hello fresh box on the porch and you're like yeah I did that so what we're doing is working

and I don't know what I know we like we both love the product and we rhapsodize it. Yeah. I don't know when you end sentences anymore. Yeah. Me and Owen both do that. We like, we are like midway through saying something out loud to an audience or on

camera. And then we're like, well, you start to think about the sentence halfway through and you're like why am i saying it don't finish who needs to hear it it's it's been really throwing me off especially like over zoom because i'm not sure if like i'm lagging or if you guys are just like uh mentally uh challenged Yeah, both. Owen has a beanbag chair now.

I mean, I got a beanbag futon. You stuffed a beanbag chair with a futon. That's what that is. Let me see it. Dude, he zipped open a beanbag, a jumbo sack, ostensibly, and then just put a futon in there he was a kiddo i asked him like yo could you care if i like relax on your beanbag chair and he's like that's you mean the couch i was like i mean yeah i mean semantics i guess you could call it that that's that's a beanbag chair with a futon in it. Anyways, what's the promo code

for HelloFresh? You got it in there. What's the promo code for HelloFresh? Yeah, he has like... Dukes definitely put this copy of Catcher in the Rye on the table to be like... I should try to get pussy. I swear to God, Dukes bought that from the bookstore.

Dukes definitely bought this from... Yeah, the bookstore. The one right there. That is probably one of three books Dukes has ever I think he got book on a game of heads up. I think we have that. Gatsby and the Big Short.

Yeah. Makes sense. HelloFresh is awesome. Untold 1.5. This isn't like, oh, they give you a bunch of carrots and celery and kale and cumin and

fucking cilantro. You just have to pretty much throw it in the... Cilantro and etc. No, that's the feminine version of cilantro yeah that's one of the woman makes so you said the promo code was what untold one five that's all caps untold one five for 15 off and it makes sense because the number is one five the podcast

is obviously untold and then you get 15% off your first order of HelloFresh. All subsequent orders are 10% off. Then they go down by increments of two every month. Oh, it's 16? Story 1-6. So it's story 1-6. Oh, January 6th.

But you get 15% off. Yes. Okay. Joe Montana. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Joe Montana. Wonderful. KB, welcome. Welcome everybody back. I'm trying to find something.

Again, I don't want to rush you guys, but I think my parents are at a Tegan and Sarah tribute concert. So I don't. You listen. You're so happy. Where are your parents? What? Where are your parents?

They're at a Tegan and Sarah tribute show. What does that mean? I think it's just two other lesbians themselves. Or like they're covering. It's yeah, it's like a tribute band. I would actually like that. The Con is one of my favorite songs. Who is it?

I think they're lesbian or lesbians love them, but they're two lesbians or two sisters. I think they might be two sister lesbians that lesbians love. I think you were correct every time. I'm in P-Town

now. If any of the listeners want to go on vacation with their parents, fucking don't. Don't ever. Just text them. It'll mean the same. I got pissed off and I turned into ukb like day one because my mom my mom got brave and decided to like try and use the cvs self-checkout

and then she just gave up halfway through and so i started scanning and then like she was she was interested in one of the drinks i got so she just picked it up off the scale and read it and then I exploded. No, it's ridiculous. Everything's locked. You can't even get a speed stick. Yeah. Yeah. You were complaining more about the mom

on CVS in that story? Yeah, I wasn't complaining about having to get a speed stick. Oh, your mom couldn't figure out the touch screen. Yeah, well, she decided midway through scanning to click skip bagging even though she wasn't done.

I had a tantrum in CVS, in the Boston CVS, and I pouted the entire way to the fucking Boston Aquarium, which is aquariums as a whole autistic Mecca. My word. You think my God,

you think that's autism? Like being like, uh, attracted to like sea animals in captivity. It's what I saw there. It was just, Oh yeah. They were gawking.

They were leering by the little bus full. Yeah. It was, I saw there. It was just... Oh, yeah. They were gawking. They were leering. By the little bus full. Yeah, it was shocking. And then, like, every single fucking tank was, like, 90% handprints. And it was just... I've never really gravitated toward the aqua burgers. They're... Like, the debris autists are much better to me. The debris autists are always better. I only met one or encountered one i remember yeah yeah yeah but there's one

time out there there's two things that i learned the hard way that the cvs self-checkouts require an employee to come like put in their code for and that's five hour energy and condoms you can't just buy that discreetly you can buy just five it's five hour energy behind the counter right but five hour energies don't you can't self-check out them you need to be 18 or older and prove it prove it yeah how do you prove it you can't show them your pubes yeah i can show my trim oh wait dude we're like home nobody's here can't you see your pubes can you see if you have pubes i'll be damned all right oh yeah you see them yeah you want to touch them um i'm sorry wait a minute you were wrong if the youtube gets to 30k subs can we get a pub reveal

yeah yeah i'll do it now well i just gave it and no no, no, no. Let's wait. I saw a woman breastfeeding. I sat down on the bench in the aquarium and a woman... It's the first time I've ever experienced it. Just popped it out and started breastfeeding her kid. In Provincetown? No, at the aquarium in Boston.

Oh. I know. I don't know. It's hard for me to sexualize breastfeeding not me I was looking like the fucking fishes I was making the same face when I was watching her do it yeah like a

kandiru fish that's the one that swims up people the one that swims up the cocks and it's nose is shaped like a one-way hook. Or a hook, yeah, any hook. Not a two-way hook, I guess, which is a thing, I guess.

Why do you keep, like, guessing, man? What else do you got, Kyle? Oh, I'm the only one in my family that brought a phone charger. We had some. Yeah. The worst. We had some. Doesn't it make you feel so bad, though?

Like you just returned to being like a pouty teen? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't like that feeling. Within 20 minutes of being with parents. Yeah. Yeah.

I completed the clean sweep of forgetting my mom, sister and dad's birthday until after 5. PM. And this year, it's just proved it. Like my parents were doing that on purpose, but they're not telling you. We're in a group chat.

You don't have to explicitly say like, Oh, happy birthday, dad. You can, you can like hint at have to explicitly say like, oh, happy birthday, dad. You can hint at it to give me the warning. So you think your mom is purposely like, let's see

if Kyle remembers and not tell you that it's your dad's birthday? I know. I don't remember dates. I can't remember dates. I mean, it is your dad. Yeah. Are you ever jealous of the days when people only kept up with three or four people?

Three or four people and they didn't Anchorman. It was like you kept in touch with three to four people on a regular basis and you like you knew anchor man why would you say that like owen would immediately know what you're that was that's what it was then that's what we did that's the underlying like issue like we miss we do miss like only keeping up with the small amount of people we miss but we miss only having anchorman people people knew four people well and then new anchorman he's not wrong everybody had like four buddies and two movies dude but like he said the way he said that it was like assume yeah but you didn't have to add any any nuances to the discourse about anchorman you just quoted it verbatim and that was that and then you kept up with four other

people that was that was that was life yeah you just all right all right all right keys wallet anchorman four friends for four friends or family members. We had some listener. Oh, we had a lot of listeners submissions. I didn't go through them all, but the ones DM to me for news. Do you have good ones? I, I,

I just, they were long. So I just blindly screenshot at them. We'll, we'll get into it. This is from Cheltenham Chone. I believe he's from the, the rich Jewish suburb of Philadelphia.

If that's the Cheltenham I'm thinking of. Derek Jeter has been in the news this week with his seven part documentary. I wonder if they'll include that in the 2001 World Series when New York needed him the most. He had four hits and six strikeouts, breaking the hearts of millions of families that lost loved ones in 9-11. I guess the only first responders Jeter cares about is the first girl to answer his you up texts.

Nick, what do you think? I mean, they're better than the next round. Yeah, move on to the fucking next round. Sheldon Hamchon, you got to step it up, but you are moved on to next week. Kyle, so we're just reading that same one next week? No, he gets the chance.

No, no, no. That's what we'll do. We'll just read that one next week. We'll read that one. Shelton Hamchon, we're going to read that one next week. Congratulations. Kyle. Capitalization, punctuation stays the same.

What face were you making towards that woman ass when you were in a matching set with jeff d low in a club i was i was making the face um that was natural too i we granted we knew the girl but it was like my natural i turned to the left turned to the right ass. Wait, you said you turned to the left, turned to the right. I didn't know where it was coming from. Yeah, I was like one of those CODA boys at prom. I just heard

the vibrations of the ass. I didn't know which way it was coming from. It was from the right. I usually go left first, lefty Lucy. Have you ever seen Moon a Date with Tad Hamilton? What? He's so much better than a guy than Topher Grace's character.

Who? Never mind. It's just been something that's been weighing on me. Continue. Alright. This is from The Minnesotan on Twitter. Well-known homosexual Nick Turaney. Whoa. Okay.

Shut the fuck up. All right. That's all right. Don't do that shit. Nick's not well-known. All right. Gunther. This is from gunther a man was caught in the air vent leading to the ovens

at a little caesars in georgia staff wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute we should play a game where we guess the punchline okay this is for you a man was caught in the air vent leading to the ovens which is a thing i, at a Little Caesars in Georgia. What do you mean is a thing? Ovens? I guess air vents that lead to ovens? Yeah, that probably is a thing. I don't know anything about that. I like this new

persona, though, that you don't admit to knowing anything for sure. Yeah, yeah. It's a fucking... It's a cheat code, dude dude but you were on take mode last week code yeah yeah this is anti-take mode a man was caught in the air vent leading okay this might be real a mayor was a man i can see this happening a man i can like see it not happening too but it could a man was caught in the air vent leading to the ovens at a Little Caesars in Georgia. Staff

says that moving forward, they will in order to protect the fan favorite jumbo regard their vents. Yeah, there was no security for the air vents.

If you want to go to Little Ca Cesar and get the jumbo, regard their vents. They will do. This is from Kid Fugly. Record petrol prices have hit the wallets of all Americans across the board. That just sounds wrong. All Americans across the board. That just sounds wrong. All Americans across the board. Which has many thinking Joe Biden has no regard for inflation.

Unlike world famous businessman and entrepreneur. Okay. Willie Wonka, who has. So Joe Biden has no regard for inflation, but Willy Wonka has no regard for inflation. That's pretty good. You move on, Kid Fugly. Kid Fugly is tending the next round easy.

Colorado Springs man Bob Salem is attempting to push a peanut up one of Colorado's steepest trails with his nose. Pikes Peak's bar trail is 11 miles long and has a 7,800 foot altitude gain.

Salem plans to push the peanut up in less than eight days. Peanuts on the nose. That reminds us all of that dickhead Nick Teraney. I was waiting for the Violet Beauregard joke.

Dukes, hello. Human genius. I just went through a few. Yeah, those weren't great. Did you see the subreddit? Was it supposed to be nuts on your nose? There's one more from Milk M Man. I love tits. I you see the subreddit? Was it supposed to be nuts on your nose? There's one more from Milk M Man. I love

tits. I gotta see what Brandon Walker's wife's look like. You've all been hyping her up. I've searched the soles of the internet and can't find her. First of all, don't look for Brandon Walker's wife on the internet.

That's weird. Take my word for it. tits. Don't look for Brandon Walker's wife on the internet. That's weird. But take my word for it. The best titties I've ever seen. I've done two of my senses to the titties of Brandon's wife. I'll let you guess the other one. You said

two and then we have to guess the other one. And then there's two that just don't get guessed I've seen her tits under a shirt under a blouse you had covid when you fucked her I did have covid when I fucked her and you didn't touch him when you fucked her because you're gay

so touches out smells out so you did see them maybe you did he didn't suck I don't know he didn't taste them you did see them. Maybe you did touch it. He didn't suck. He didn't, I don't know. He didn't taste them.

Maybe he did. I can see him like twisting around the nipples, like rotary phones, but not maybe not in a full blown touch. Was there areola, a rupee Kapoor haiku. Kyle, did you see the subreddit?

Uh, thanks. You have a speech impediment. I i see it all i think no one quickly uh disproved that it's just anyone else noticed kb pronounces ed suffix is weird instead of hundred he pronounces it hundred. Yeah. And then they got into my whatever happened to the girl that texted KB the tits. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen any more of the tits. So you do the math.

She's gone. I mean, we were in touch and she didn't have the fervor that I had about solving the case. So it got awkward. So I stopped talking to her. I am interested. I still believe that it was a guy who did that on purpose. 100%.

I was just afraid. Remember his voice on the phone? He convinced you he was innocent? I felt bad for him. You did feel bad. What else? Oh, dude, did you go... There's this TikToker we both like. Michael Carter White.

Did you go to his meetup? Everybody look up. What's the name? Michael Carter White? His name is Michael Thomas White. It goes by Michael Thomas White or MTW, but he makes it abundantly clear that he's michael thomas white on spotify and on tiktok and he i don't know if it's satire or not but he's like this new york finance guy introduce him to me he had like 500 followers on tiktok um he all of his videos were in the vein of like an influencer who was just reveling or showing appreciation to having gotten recognized in public or he hypes up his spotify you would think he was a superstar but no followers and he's been spiraling. I feel like he's realized that people are mocking him in some ways.

And now I can't tell if he's serious or not. Holy shit. He's been doing all of this. He only has 3000 followers, but he announced a meet and greet in union square. Are you into him for his body? How'd you find him? He,

uh, like, does he do fitness? I found him. I found him. My algorithm is just all like very bad musicians and guys with rock and bodies. Hmm.

Um, so yeah, he was on the, he was on, he's on a WNBA practice squad. Yeah. I'm, I'm excited.

But did you go to his meet and greet? Um, I've been thinking about this for 24 hours. So his meet and greet was union square park, right next to the planet fitness. I go to his meet and greet? Um, I've been thinking about this for 24 hours. So his meet and greet was union square park right next to the planet fitness I go to. So I have to go. I was nervous. I like stalled at planet fitness.

I showed up five minutes late there. And there was a crowd at this exact spot. He mentioned like waiting for him visibly. And I was like trying to play spy. And, uh, wait, how are you trying to play spy I was watching from afar I could like see it like they I could tell like I could tell by their body language that they were waiting

for Michael Thomas White they were like huddled up on the exact staircase that he mentioned it would be at he was nowhere to be girls are waiting for something no matter the temperature they're always cold they're always yeah. They're always... Yeah, you would have thought they were in a colder climate. Sure.

Looks fall-barred. I looked up Michael Thomas White on Twitter, and I just found he just replies to all of Usain Bolt's tweets with a screenshot of his own Spotify. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. He is hilarious. So I don't know if the rebrand i don't know if this was all orchestrated strategically but he is so funny but did

he show up to the meet and greet kyle every well i got exposed there was a kb head in the in the meet and greet which i don't know if is embarrassing for me for him for both of us or we were both on the same page with the same mission. But he called me out. Well, my mission was to just, I want to see what this 3,000 follower guy is going to do at his meet and greet and how it's going to play out. He spotted me, called me out. I scurried away. So I don't know. You just like ran away?

I ran away. And I think he could tell by his face that he could tell that I was like lingering and hovering with the intent that I did have. And it didn't look natural that I was just on my way after that. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Let's blow him up. Blow him up.

Blow up. Don't keep blowing up Gene Marquis. It was his 21st birthday. He wore Hennessy shoes. They were shoes that were like a canteen and he filled them with Henny. Hennessy shoes. That's next level.

Nobody's drinking Bel Air anymore. No one's drinking Bel Air. We don't care if it floats like Aladdin's carpet or it's electric lemonade. Speaking of black guys, Ray J has headphones. Raycons. It's the perfect time to get the Raycon fitness earbuds.

Owen, I think you have the Raycon fitnesses, don't you? I do. They're great. They don't fall out of your ears when you're walking or running. Are we joking about this or doing an ad for them? We're doing an ad we got Raycon

I didn't have to fucking walk for three hours going to different targets they delivered right to my doorstep that's right and you can get for $20 off if you go to buyraystep. That's right. And, uh, you can get for $20 off. You go to buy Raycon.com slash untold and use,

uh, use our code on the page. You can get an additional 15% off. That's why buy Raycon.com slash untold. Uh, Ray J is the man. He's, he's a tech mastermind.

Um, is it Ray J who makes these? Yes. Yeah, you're just assuming that? I think he does. It's gotta be. I'll look it up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Maybe I'm wrong. Yes. Yeah, Ray J made it. I've seen his black penis. Rick Ross and Dwayne Wade are involved with this as well. All three of them are the same person to me.

Yeah. All three of them are the same person to me. The most racist and least racist thing about me is that I regard them three as the same. How would that be least racist? I don't know. I'm just going to start saying that when I say something racist. This is also the least racist aspect. Wait, dude, I was looking through Gene Marquis' Instagram because I wanted to get those Henny shoes.

He is the caption god. He has the incredible captions as well. What was his most recent one? 21 now, but he's always been savage. No, no no no uh it's him in the elevator wearing an amazing fit and it's uh elevator eyes because i get every stare that's good as fuck uh wait and then uh is he a miami boy? No, I thought he was South Georgia. Apparently, he's like South Central Georgia. Yeah.

Meow. That was a fake Gene fan. I'm not Jewish, but the drip is real. Shut up. He's the best. In my bag like the quiet kid at school. Yeah, he's good. What are you about?

Like Peter Parker. They only get to see me behind the web. Yeah, it's fire. He's God. He's God. Even if he didn't come up with those originally you have to have the eye for those

and they play to his character perfectly he's not a character his persona there it is what else is going on with you boys Owen yeah

Schultz took a liking to you. Oh yeah. He liked KB as well. He was definitely feeding me some extra laughs but it was comforting to see him put in utmost effort to talk to people.

We rub off poorly on comedians because I think we're dickheads honestly it's our fault yeah it is our fault but you could tell why he's successful aside from his like comedic talent he's he knows exactly how to talk to people yeah so when i said something that was like a half joke and he like cracked up that meant a lot to me even though he was just like yeah this is just business what's a half joke no you had a couple good i didn't even say anything, even though he was just like, yeah, this is just business. What's a half joke. No, you had a couple of good,

I didn't even say anything like funny and he was giving me laughs, which meant a lot. That's good. Yeah. I watched his standup special. Did you? I'm going to, I heard it was great. That's nice of you, man. Pay it forward.

Oh man. We'll be back. We'll be in I'm back Friday Evening We'll record I'd be down to record a bonus And then you and I have to go to Chattanooga

Right I'm excited for that Well cause you don't know what's going on On the yak you were like yeah we're going to Chattanooga That is the thrill of it Nick and I don't have a clue what's going on we don't know what we're going to do she said we like the i mean finite list of options like i've been in meetings i've been in two meetings so i think there's i think like i mean finite well there's only so many things i can picture us doing like hunting fishing like something like we're going to a place called the Cliffs of Insanity to cliff jump into

crystal clear water. Yeah, that's an option too. Imagine if she sprung that on us. That's what I'm looking forward to the most. We've had two meetings about this and you haven't been in one. You met with her? Via Zoom.

Yeah, I can't attend that. Why? That's not a meeting. Well, yeah, it is. Yeah. No, that's a phone call. Okay, yeah, we had phone calls. I keep my schedule stacked.

I'm not going to rearrange it for a phone call. I was walking home. I was on a FaceTime with her and Fasoli. Yeah. No. He told you the exact what we're doing? I have it down

to the hour. We're cliff jumping? Yes. Into water, I'd imagine. We're not killing ourselves. Yeah, but not with a bungee yeah yeah but not with like a bungee cord no no no

it's like uh 35 feet is that was that like third floor embassy suites or higher about

the same into a lake I think it's like a uh yeah I think so you're a... Yeah, I think so. You're not going to do it, are you? I'm terrified of heights.

And then we're also open-air camping. We're sleeping right on the ground. And you could have opposed to it because we did put that up to a vote that one i don't get open air camping you could have the tent but you're just proving you could do it without it yeah that's that's just like a challenge what do you mean that's a challenge that's like not fun none of this is but that's not even like nobody open air camps. They got tents early.

I'm going to call Sidney Wells. We've always had tents. Open air camping? Yeah. Motherfucker's at TP. Yeah. I don't know. It'll be fun.

Are you coming? I don't know. It'll be fun. Are you coming? I don't think so. Always. We should, well, if this comes out decent, do the pod this way instead of Fasoli recording you guys. How about someone,

how about the person, someone tweeted a picture of a reality show guy from f boy island that like his name was nicky and he kind of looked like you yeah he wore glasses he was significantly better looking than me um yeah but um the the picture was just like hey like nick you're on you're on f. It wasn't like, you don't look like this. He didn't disparage the person in the photo. Or tag him, and the guy found it, and then responded, what? And then the guy responded.

Nikki from FBoy Island. It was like, Nick, look, you're on. And yeah, the guy responded, hey, chump, look at the progress I've made on my body in these past six months. Yeah, go to my IG. Congrats on finding an ugly picture of me. Yeah, it was supposed to be a lookalike of me who was already significantly better looking. And then he was just like, yo, chump,

that was like, look at the glow up from there. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Nikki from Meth Boy Island Speaking of, we still have to watch that show Yeah, we do. I'm excited. I want to watch that Fuck boy used to be a derogatory term and then we gentrified it

well yeah you can't slut shame you can't fuckboy shame that's just parody fuckboy used to be like what like rappers would that'd be like the ultimate diss to someone's manhood and now it's like a guy who just fucks hot girls

my dad's back yeah we can wrap it up he bought a tank top that just says bear. I mean... At what point? At what point? At what point?

Alright. In studio next week. Yeah, that'll be better. Alright. Alright. Alright. In studio next week. Yeah, that'll be better. Yeah. All right. All right. You want me to read that?

That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? Fuck no, baby! That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh, big untold story I knew I told a story