A New Untold Story - A New Untold Story: Ep. 306 - Live from Alaska (ft. Donnie Does)
Episode Date: August 26, 2022A New Untold Story: Ep. 306 - Live from Alaska (ft. Donnie Does) -- Please watch on YouTube & listen on Apple/Spotify/etc.. Thank you!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify... or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast
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Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. A new untold story.
It's a fresh, big untold story.
A new untold story.
A new untold story, episode 30 306 from alaska 306 area code that's saskatchewan
it's the dance you do when you say it let's restart i hate that i just did that nah fuck it
uh we have been in alaska the doing like 16 hour filming days got a hell of a video coming out
uh but i think it's our best one.
I do too.
Um, but I have not had the chance to write the news.
So it kind of sucks.
Yeah.
I actually wrote some this time so I can take it away.
Finally.
KB gets.
Thank you.
Jesus fucking
How every time
Fucking
Fasoli I've had a mic issue every time
We filmed so I expected that
How did you
But we don't have a printer so it's just a blank piece of paper
It's on my phone
But I still got you with the paper
Thank you Fasoli
I was about to get pissed
What was possibly wrong with the mic
for solely what the fuck was possibly wrong um let's get into the news 113 million year old
dinosaur footprints discovered in a texas dried riverbed this is the first time you can see track
marks on a river since joaquin's brother died oh man
bullied child with dwarfism scores new role in Mad Max movie.
I'm sure he won't be bullied anymore after his half second of screen time
playing a non-speaking role of disgusting boy number seven.
Seahawks rookie wide receiver Bo Melton has taken to Twitter
complaining about opportunity after only getting reps with the third string offense.
Many are clapping back at him, telling him to get offline and get to work.
I tend to agree.
I think that you need to take the elbow,
much like a hungry 14-foot tiger shark did to Bethany Hamilton
off the Hawaiian coast.
14-foot tiger shark.
With a bow, like it's going to gonna be a violet bow i thought that too a texas
back to school commercial of a little boy waving goodbye to his parents before going to school in
body armor has gone viral i know somebody who would like to be armor after some waves bethany
hamilton famous asymmetrical soul surfer she would would love to be armor. A little bit. She's more armed. She'd like to be.
She'd like to be armor.
So this joke I worked on for like 14 hours and I couldn't think of anything.
So this is if you want to help me fill in the blanks here.
Ben and Jerry's fails to stop sales in Israel in support of Palestinians after parent company Unilever puts their foot down.
What Ben and Jerry's can do is make pro-Palestine flavors.
Look out for pints of
Islamic Resistant Movement,
Rocky Road,
parentheses due to IEDs,
and At Least We Didn't
Kill Jesus Chip.
Those were the three flavors I thought of.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
This is a bad one.
The man who held and stole from Kim Kardashian at Gump Point just did a tell-all interview.
Okay.
Finally, robbed Kardashian in the headlines without seeing a fat, gross, disgusting body.
In all seriousness, this had to be traumatic for Kim. She was tied up in her bathtub. Kardashian in the headlines without seeing a fat, gross, disgusting body.
In all seriousness,
this had to be traumatic for Kim.
She was tied up in her bathtub.
Finally, Rob Kardashian isn't the only tubby one.
Jesus, dude.
Bison let free
onto a Sioux reservation.
KB's dad let a
bi son free when he caught
Kyle fucking a dude on his 18th
birthday. Coincidentally,
Kyle tried to sue,
but his lawyer dropped him after
Kyle tried to have sex with him as well.
Are you good, Donnie? Sorry for making you do that.
Shoulders fucking killed.
Can I at least read a joke?
Yeah.
You can read that one.
That's like five pounds.
Paperweight.
I was saying it wasn't impressive.
Okay.
The Anus Boys are in Alaska with the Wanton Don.
Oh, that's me.
Donnie has a disgusting Boston accent.
He says saw like sore sore like when you say say
saw say saw saw yeah you say like so yeah you and yeah you and dave all right he says saw like sore
sore like his asshole after being fucked by multiple chinese men
jesus donnie has torn apart more Chinese men
than escalator videos
on LiveLeak.
What the fuck?
That was a good read, Donnie.
That was a good read, Donnie.
I'm fucking doing you guys a favor.
Put it back.
What are you guys doing?
We need it.
We're going to have the most beautiful
view in the U.S.
I haven't had sex with a single Chinese man.
Yeah, they were all married.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Double the crime.
Donnie, we are literally luggage to him.
Take us on these trips.
Thank you to Donnie.
Thank you to Donnie.
Actually, when I asked Donnie if he speaks Mandarin or Cantoneseese he says he does a combo of both called man on knees he gets on his knees
and sucks chinese man cock as opposed to speaking verbally hey come hold that up for me when a cute
girl tries to give a quick kiss to donnie, he does a pecking duck
to avoid it
because it's not from a man.
He has never seen
a man ass he won't
want on.
When Donnie sleeps with a woman,
he has to have the lights completely off
unless she's super masculine.
Then they can just dim some.
Donnie is gay and has an Asian fetish
he loves Philippines
Pakistan
where is it?
tongue tie
you guys go back to like current events
that was his flu game
if you guys talk about current events
I'll hold the green screen
I think I actually do
Donnie I guess you can still talk through your mic
okay alright Kyle let's hear it
I have some
current events that are also local
Sarah Palin
is seeking a political comeback
and is among the Republican candidates
advancing to the November general election in the race for Alaska's only house seat in Juneau.
Sarah wants to be in Juneau again.
I guess Elliot Page is going to have to do the impregnating this time.
pretty good pretty topical clinicians across the world are seeing a massive influx of covid19 patients experiencing unexpected hair loss perhaps due to the stress of the diagnosis
unexpected hair loss what did it do race a tortoise
dude that one was edgy do race a tortoise. I knew it. I fucking knew it.
Dude,
that one was edgy.
That was an edgy one.
David Shore,
the Emmy award winning writer of house is set to produce a female led spinoff of the good doctor titled the good lawyer,
which will be released as a backdoor
pilot during The Good Doctor
Season 6.
Working on multiple shows at once
may be a daunting task,
but if anyone has the ability to
shoot both and still expect a
timely release, it's someone
who's written House.
Oh no!
Eight seasons in less than eight years.
It's impressive.
Dr. Fauci revealed that he still employs security
to protect his daughters
after receiving death threats against his children
from armed Trump supporters in 2020.
After two years of making threats,
who would possibly get away with killing Anthony's daughter?
KC chiefs,
legendary quarterback and hall of famer Len Dawson sadly passed away late
Wednesday.
He loved Kansas city and no matter where he trapped,
where his travels took him,
he could not wait to return home.
No joke there. Just a legendary
quarterback passing away.
You have no joke there?
No, I don't want to respect Len Dawson.
It's getting
dark in Alaska. It's like
10 o'clock at night right now.
Go inside, Donnie? Yeah.
Fasoli was trying to tell us to
ball tag you. You would have fallen into the fucking
frigid waters is it that cold
ball tag oh yeah sack
whack yeah my fault it's regional
yeah
fuck you fasoli
fuck you guys let's go inside
let's go inside it's not that
bad out
thank you guys
fucking fun donny thank you not that bad out. Thank you, guys. Yeah.
Donnie, thank you, dude.
That's your reply to what I'm going to say.
No, that's a new one.
Hey, isn't that story old?
Fuck no, baby!
So outside of rediscovering
You're doing well. I know we just started recording so
did we? I was gonna go
I was gonna go under land
I use the game time app all the time
to go to brunch
I went to
a Celtics game
which game? game 4?
or just a regular season?
game 3 and game 7
really? you went to Or just a regular season? Game three and game seven.
Really?
Wow. Yeah, not... What's the elimination game against who? The Bucs? The second round.
Yeah, I went to...
Game time is awesome.
It's a PG-13 ad, so one of us
can say the F word once.
All right.
Fuck
Golden State. Yeah,
that's good. Fasoli has his phone volume on as soon as we start recording.
Fasoli, what are you doing?
This isn't even your bedroom.
Whose bedroom is this?
This is Donnie's bedroom.
And you have a foosball.
I've been wrapped up, Dub.
You've been playing no one.
Can we just, real quick.
I have an entire high school hockey locker room in my room.
I'm not joking.
I have a DDR
game. Not the
mat, the actual three
dimensional game. I'm not joking.
You can ask Chris. I have a high school
hockey locker room in
my room. What? It has
all the cabinets for jerseys
and where you sit on a bench and get ready.
Is that where the shower is?
It's in another room.
We're in the nicest house in Alaska.
I think that might be a cabinet.
Use code UNTOLD for $20 off.
You can come see a game in Anchorage.
I think that are obligations for the ad.
I had an obstacle course
in my room.
A playground.
You have the world's largest suitcase.
It's the Lucas brand.
Big Luke.
It's the biggest fucking suitcase in the world.
You look way too...
This is going to be a bad visual for me.
Yeah.
Wait, no, this is a bad visual?
I bought
a headband because I'm growing my hair out.
And then you sneakily bought a headband in the same exact store no i need a headband yeah i do what i don't know this is it
looks sick i like you two in the headband all right alaska it's alaska day no reason for you
to be in a headband you're gonna roast me before we recap the alaska you're gonna roast me some
more i don't have anything to roast you for.
Figured. We're on day four in Alaska.
I feel like this is going to be our best video.
It's the season two finale.
Yeah. Let's hope so.
KB has been taking photos.
You've been trying to like, every time I turn around
you're taking a photo. We're in
one of the most beautiful
landscape,
geographic, topographic places in the world.
I want to look back one day and be like,
because I would have clowned you and stopped you.
Like,
dude,
stop being like something.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
it kind of,
I've been worried about you though.
But then I saw you taking photos and I thought somebody who takes photos of a
ton of stuff,
uh,
isn't playing does won't
won't commit suicide yeah yeah because like why if you're gonna kill yourself why take photos
yeah the most the people i know hide from the camera look at my camera no i just don't want
my like obituary or like death recap to be like he had no hobbies i wanted to be like he loved
adventures and wildlife i would just, I would he was a
he was an avid hiker and a
fisherman and he
loved the outdoors. I was like, no, that was
a forced trip by a sponsored
video series that I
did not want to do. He loved Labatt
Blue Light wearing the gear on his
adventures. Donnie,
your funeral slideshow is going to be
fucking awesome. Yeah, I'm alreadyhow is going to be fucking awesome.
Yeah, I'm already like...
You'll be closed casket lit. That's for sure.
I know. Sometimes I think
how cool it would be to die on one of these strips.
The views.
Yeah, like all my view counts
would explode and the funeral
like porno might show up.
Yeah.
No, definitely.
Your view count. But they would all be like oh dave
you you need to give a speech or his boss for five years and he'd be like uh donnie saw him
around the office a couple times you got you've got a fucking great and you flew a drone in the
office yes i flew a drone i tried to get drone footage of the rundown and uh portnoy was none
too pleased.
He has a tough history with
drones. The first time he was like, I need drone
footage, Hank broke out the drone and
almost chopped his finger off. I think it
was hanging by a thread.
The first time Fasoli
flew it right into his hand.
Show your finger scar.
You remember he was on the boat.
He's not happy.
Fasoli, you can defend yourself if you want to.
No, no. Fasoli's bummed because he just
got stood up by his uncle.
All right. We're going to start with
Fasoli. Apologies.
Fasoli's uncle lives in Alaska
in Anchorage
and Fasoli's been trying
to meet up with him. Yeah. He's from
Cape Cod, which is literally the furthest away from Alaska that you can get in the U.S.
Yeah, he's finally in his uncle's home state.
In his home city.
His home city.
And you invited him over for just like Thai food and like to chill with the boys, the Barstool boys, Nick and KB and Donnie.
And got stood up higher up.
What did he say?
He said it was getting dark.
This was at 7.
Alaska's Augusts are
light all day.
Nah, I gotta
get home. It's starting to get dark in seven
hours.
We have a full day left.
That's one for Fasoli. That's one for Fasoli.
That's one for Fasoli. Let's get it
out of the way. Donnie, you pranked
Fasoli. Oh, yes.
These trips, there's
a lot of driving. There's a lot of stuff
in between. We have to entertain ourselves.
You've been flirting in front of people.
Kyle pranked an immigrant.
I pranked a Chinese immigrant
and it went terribly. You'll see it in the video. Pranking a Chinese immigrant and it went terribly.
You'll see it in the video.
Pranking a Chinese immigrant might be the easiest
possible prank.
I didn't say all that. I thought it was a sick
prank premise.
It is in the video and you
would just met in
10 seconds and then you like...
I tried to do a disguise
prank. You'll see it in the video.
We were doing
an interview with the guy you hadn't even asked him a single question so he never even registered
who you were right but then you left the interview change your clothes i put my hat on uh front words
it was backwards like it is and uh i didn't do it what else did i do put sunglasses on no no you
i took off my orange costume and You took off your orange costume.
And it worked.
And you tried to prank him.
And then you lifted the hat.
You're like, no, that's me.
And he met you.
He didn't know who you were.
You never... You got him really good.
Yeah, well, you'll see the footage.
I did get him good.
No, it was an awesome prank.
You really taught that immigrant.
He'd been in the U.S. for 40 years.
Dude, I just fooled that Chinese immigrant.
He was the most famous person in that city. Yeah, he was. Of 250 u.s for 40 years i just flew that chase yeah he was the most famous person
in that city yeah he was of 250 people but donnie oh yeah well first i wanted to cover our
reindeer prank when we were uh in the store so apparently all the places you go here they sell
reindeer sausage yeah and i thought that was cool at first i was like i want the pizza it worked on
me there was a reindeer hot dog at this place i was like i have to try it and i was like yeah this
is good but it tastes exactly like a hot dog but in my head i was like reindeer is awesome yourself
because like oh yeah hell yeah and i checked it off the box yeah yeah uh but then we learned
there's a rule that you can only put like 2% of reindeer in the sausage and the rest is just pork and beef.
And me and Nick were in the gift shop of like a zoo.
And I was just like, why?
Crazy.
Like reindeer sausage.
It's all just 2% reindeer.
And it's like this dad who just brought his family on vacation.
He was in the jerky section.
He had a bag.
Like, you know how like when people walk when people walk in sitcoms, they walk in
with their groceries, they have the baguette sticking out.
Yeah, the seller.
Sticks a jerky in his bag.
He goes, 2%?
And he just puts his head down.
He's like, what? 2%?
Is that real?
You can only do 2%.
Well, first off,
we talked to this chef who said you can't
legally sell reindeer meat but you could put like two percent in and still label it reindeer which
is this dad like freaked out yeah he was not happy at all he was like he's like is that real
then he like told all of his kids yeah he. He went back to the car probably. And like, you know,
like dad's at a certain age,
they love trying exotic meats.
Yeah.
And like introducing their family.
Yeah.
I remember when the Cabela's opened up in Dallas Pike and Wheeling and like
they sold some like elk and bison.
People were going nuts.
Yeah.
All the dads.
All the dads.
So much better.
It's the same.
It's 2%.
When I went to Wheeling,
I had some
gator but do you guys have any gators around wheeling no why was that on the menu just randomly
there yeah that is odd um that wasn't good yeah you couldn't even finish it yeah i don't the
nearest gator would have to be like south carolina or something you think they have gators they do
north georgia a couple people
are killed probably south no i don't think it's that north south georgia we've been having exotic
palates though um i've had diarrhea horribly since the first day but i every on these trips i'm
usually pretty like solid and nice s-shaped but every time like we pass a certain longitude like
the up and then here i've been been... Yeah, you had some shit
in Marquette, I remember. Yeah.
Yeah, and I've been
kind of...
I can't talk right now.
Your leg looked like an ass too
and like the long little photo.
The worst visual ever of me walking
out of the ocean
in a wetsuit.
And so, Nick, why do you
walk like a slut? it was first of all
it was the reflection on the sand and that sand was like quick sand and i just it looked like i
had a broken broken leg it looked deformed but overall alaska review so far i love it yeah
the people here yes have no um they're not nefarious they're not they're they don't express
themselves which i like there's no uh ego um i was at the planet fitness and i think i was like
it was a crowd at planet fitness i think i was midway through i think it was on my 12th set of
curling 40s and i looked around mid-set I was like, there is no one else here lifting.
These people all looked like they were forced to take like a lift, like a gym PE class,
weightlifting class, and they all forgot their clothes. So they just have to chill on one of
the machines. And then I, I think I did like 15, 16, I got to 17. I looked around some more and
I was like, okay, there's one guy lifting, but he's not looking in the mirror during his sets.
There's no vanity. There's no bravado. Alaskans don't, they'd have nothing.
They have no one to impress, which I was purposely.
Cause like most people we meet,
they actually came from the lower 48 and they all seem to be like,
I'm done with those guys. Like they kind of,
they have no rush to get back. They're kind of just,
and they're close. Yeah. They were like, the one guy was like in an,
he looked strong,
but he was in like a loose fitting Emmett Smith Jersey and like cargo khaki
pants. And he was, he was doing nothing.
No one was exerting themselves at the gym that I was like,
this was arm. I can't remember that I was like... Was it pissing you off?
This was arm...
I can't remember if this was heavy arm day or light heavy arm day.
There were two black...
The diversity here was also insane.
This video has more black people in it than we have in any other video we've done.
Yeah.
And we've learned that's a fact.
The only two other people lifting in planet fitness
when i was doing a heavy arm day or a light heavy arm day were two black guys like light
was it light skin when you're like you're yeah half sure yeah eskimo brothers then they but they
wouldn't look in the mirror after sets i was like like, these guys don't give a fuck. They were very strong.
They would not look at themselves.
And I'm like, I scour every inch of the mirror to see what happens to my muscles after each set.
So props to Alaskans.
Props to Alaskans.
No vanity.
We kind of got off track.
Oh, yes.
The Fasoli prank, it made my day.
Because like I said,
we don't get bored because these days are really long,
but there is a lot of downtime on the drive and stuff.
And, yeah, I just needed something to spice up my life.
So I texted, like, three friends.
I gave them Fasoli's phone number, and I was like,
I gave them zero direction.
I just said, can you text him something
weird his name's nick fasoli this guy must be good uh fasoli is um well you know him by now
but he he does the drones for these trips he's very good at it uh all he does is smile
he's broken he's in the supine position on the bed right now you can defend yourself if you ever feel the need i love you to death awful liar and this this or
was this your friend that did that did the lie it was my friend i mean there yeah it was the
least believable lie ever the least believable so all i told my friend i go he used to be a valet at
the lobster trap in bournemouth uh because that's where he's from.
It's on the Cape.
He loves mudslides.
He's Italian.
He went to Merrimack, and he likes to fly drones.
And that's pretty much all I told him.
So I go, is that something weird?
And at first he's like, no, dude, I'm not.
And then I had to remind my friend twice, did you text him?
Did you text him?
Meanwhile, he's just like working a sales job.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Don't leave me alone.
But he finally sent the text to Fasoli and immediately sparks started to fly.
So this was the text.
Hi, Nick.
This is Anne Brennan with the Cape Cod Times.
Nick is.
Wait, wait.
First off, Nick.
Fasoli's first name is Nick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm talking about this Nick. I'm talking about this Nick talking about
Fasoli. So, hi, Nicholas
Fasoli. This is Anne Brennan with the
KidCodTimes. We're doing a piece
on the downfall of
human... Alright. We're doing
a piece on the downfall of hometown
heroes. Stop.
That would never be
a piece.
No, let's do a... Let's do a local newspaper on the downfall of hometown heroes. Yeah. Let's do a... That would never be a piece.
Let's do an article on how our heroes have fallen.
How far our heroes have fallen.
All right.
So we're doing a piece on the downfall of hometown heroes.
We want to see if we can interview you for the article.
Actually, it is kind of believable. isn't that like a heroin capital yeah so i'm sure like good athletes have
yeah succumbed i feel like even then they wouldn't want to just like shame the family
yeah let's shame this heroin dyer to believe that he has convinced himself that he himself
is a hometown hero which i don't necessarily disagree with.
He's with KB right now.
He hasn't said why.
At this point, he can just think they're talking about a hometown hero
that he knew and they wanted to hear Sully's opinion on him.
So they haven't, she hasn't dropped the anchor yet.
All right.
And then here it comes.
We wanted to see if we could interview you
for the article. We were thinking
of starting with your thriving
career at a valet
at the famed Lobster Trap
and run
through the events that led you
to being a failed drone pilot.
If you are still local,
you can meet
at the lobster trap to get some
shots of you.
Yeah, we're going to defame you and
slander you and libel you and take
some pictures. Some model
shots.
Oh, for real?
You look really good.
How far he's fallen. He used to be a valet here
like into buildings all right if you're so local we can be at the lochadrop to get some shots you
up front please let me know if you're available thanks and so i get a text from my friend saying
he's at this two fasoli and i think it's gonna take a while for like just like see the text and start to react i walk over i see this only a minute later he goes
dude can you believe this can you believe this he shows me the text he goes the cape cod times
is like the largest newspaper on the cape and he was he was concerned about that he was like
they're gonna write this article everyone's gonna see it wasn't like who is this troll yeah yeah
can we let him defend himself yeah no no i don't think so i think in fasoli's mind he's torn because
he's like i have to take this interview or else they're just going to say they reached out to me for comment.
And I didn't answer.
Yeah.
Which has happened time and time again.
Yeah.
So smart on you for that.
Well, for that.
Yeah.
And so the one thing my friend said after he sent the text, he goes, I really hope he doesn't try to look up this real person.
Like he's a real person.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like apparently.
And so Fasoli within a minute also texts his family and he was
like look at these like this this your dad's kind of a big wig or cape cod name and they looked her
up on linkedin they found they were like she's all over linkedin um and at that point i was like
okay i might have to actually tell the truth sooner than i normally would have because i don't want like
people contacting yeah um but yeah yeah and we heard about the piece you're doing on my boy
but all right so the solely then started to get pretty serious with me he was just like
dude how could they say that about me like i'm working in new york like a lot of kids
from my town you know they have overdosed or something like that.
He's like, I'm actually doing pretty damn well.
And I did not disagree with him.
But I was like, yeah, man, that's very fucked up.
Please tell me he texts back.
So Fasoli wrote a full text that he was about to send to my friend.
I'm going to let you read it because I was laughing too hard. Because I didn't know about the first time. Jesus, Fasoli wrote a full text that he was about to send to my friend. I'm going to let you read it because I was laughing too hard.
Because I didn't know about the first time.
Jesus, Fasoli.
Oh, no.
This is the longest blog post I've ever seen.
The text he was going to send back.
I don't know who you are, but this is an incredibly rude text to send to someone.
I worked at the lobster trap for six years as a valet and made it out of Bourne,
Mass. To go live
in New York City, I currently work
at the biggest media company in the United States.
I'm no quote-unquote
failed drone pilot. My work
is displayed throughout hundreds of videos
on a major network that has more
followers than the Cape Cod Times does.
Yes, I know. It's true.
It's true. You sent me this message while I was droning in Alaska.
That was true, too.
Because he was.
That's why we were waiting for him to see it, because he was droning in Alaska.
Wow.
Like, cold calling, making outlandish taste.
I don't know where you're getting your information from, but you can take my name off any list for the so-called peace because i've made more of my life than anyone ever did from that town
no sorry i don't disagree with anything you said it just it's it's awesome that you fell
for that to that degree you should have seen how i suddenly text me and Kyle the word stewardess autocorrect is not a defense here because what did you say
how did you attempt stewardess
I actually felt bad if you said it's my friend I was I would have felt kind of bad. Cause immediately I told my friend,
I was like,
he's really pissed.
My friend was like,
I feel horrible.
Why don't you just,
why don't you just get me?
Yeah.
Um,
but then when you were like,
you're probably somewhere cold calling.
I was like,
my friend might be somewhere cold.
Oh my God.
That fucking hurt.
That,
that,
that hits kind of deep.
Yeah.
Um,
but yeah,
if you would like to defend yourself,
I will let you use my mic.
You got two seconds.
Two seconds.
What did he
use the word for stewardess?
He spelled stewardess.
Fasola,
do you want redemption on stewardess or should I just tell
people how you spelled it?
Tell people how I spelled it.
S-T-U-R-D-I-E-S-T.
You're out of front.
Sturdiest.
I'm the sturdiest, so fuck you.
Did you think they were actually called sturdiest because they can, like,
stand during turbulence?
No.
Our friend types sturdiest.
Dude, that's why she got the job.
She's the sturdiest.
It's kind of hard going back to this message i was literally my drone was my phone was 120 meters up in the air above a fucking alaska lakeside town i get this fucking
message blowing me up i've been getting random phone calls all
week so i was like pissed off by that and then i read this text message as i'm bringing my drone
and you guys know me i don't fucking read shit so i i read hometown hero i did like ad lit not
ad lit but like my my eyes you're you're, you just like picked out where like in a word
search, you only saw like four words.
I felt like the criminal minds guy who sees like the words and figures out the whole murder
genius.
And so at first you felt like the genius.
I know you didn't.
No, you didn't.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. No. I'm able to read four words. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
No.
You're able to read four words.
So I only read the first X amount of words, and it was a good thing in my head for the
first time.
And then I landed my drone, reread the message, and said, who the fuck is this asshole?
Yeah.
I walked over to Chris and Donnie, and I was like, look at this dick face you just had.
Yeah.
And then I was like, what the flying fuck?
I was just mad.
Because.
Flying fuck.
You just kept on casting.
Yeah.
What a drone.
A true dronesman.
Flying fuck.
And then I wrote that message, almost sent it to his friend.
My parents had doubt sent it because then they'll use that in the piece.
Oh my God.
They're good and smart parents. Rare rare i look at your parents believe in this
they told you to ignore it they vehemently told you to ignore it. They told me to.
They said, ignore it.
It's not real.
Block the number.
Oh, okay.
Look, someone.
Good save.
It's fake.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Oh, they looked it up.
Yeah.
And then I was like, well, if they don't, if I don't answer, then they're going to use
something about me not answering.
That is the correct mindset. Some sort of publication or a blog and can write,
uh,
about Fasoli.
I want this to happen.
And I want access to the blog.
I'm not blogging this year.
I'm doing zero blog 30.
And so I turned 30.
How he started off as a promising valet driver at the lobster trap.
Oh yeah.
Slowly, slowly. As a promising valet driver at the lobster trap. Slowly.
Slowly declined from valet.
So when I read it, I was like,
what the fuck is this?
I was just confused by it.
Yeah.
That was bullshit.
Gut check. Last regrets none.
Best bet is to get dressed to get something.
I deserve that.
Yeah, you've been farting
on the soul i just had a lot of gas he's always around um dude granted fasoli drives me fucking
insane but he is so much better than some of the other guys we've had on these trips
remember la la was like a fated video from the start. It was some weird...
So we did a
Southern California video and
we went to Joshua Tree.
We all had the flu.
Yeah. And one of our
camera guys
seized in the
parking lot.
Yeah. Joshua Tree.
Which I've never seen live.
It is...
His tongue started bleeding.
The scary thing about it is that
five to
two minutes prior
he was driving us in a
sprinter van. But he wasn't
even supposed to be driving us.
It was the other guy, our other
cameraman, but he was driving.
He was freelance.
He was a freelance cameraman.
And had lost his camera.
He lost his camera.
He was just a man.
Our freelance cameraman.
He was a freelance man.
He was just a man, yeah.
A freelance guy.
So this freelance guy.
Freelance man.
He lost his camera, so he also couldn't drive for that reason he had
to sit in the 95 miles he had no he had to sit in the passenger seat to look for his camera on the
side of the road so he made the other guy drive right and that guy was like in the wrong lane
for us what's going yeah i was like scared like all right all right he had that seizure he got
out of the car sees which is terrifying glad he's okay i did something cool
there and i don't know if it's medically appropriate but i heard of it once um i okay
first off wall it out i put his wallet in the mouth you did all right didn't you read afterwards
that's like not where you're supposed to get it you know bite the wallet and start choking on that
okay so this happened this guy passes out everyone screaming. Us two were in the van still and we all reacted
terrifyingly.
I'd never seen you break.
I was standing two feet away from him.
That's the first time I saw you panic.
I was like, hey guys, guys. At first you were like,
alright Donnie, what are you doing? What's the prank?
And then it's just like, oh my god.
I was like, guys,
help, help. I was more uncomfortable
seeing you panicked than
that guy seizing on the ground yeah yeah he was getting so much blood from him biting his head
yeah i had no idea i know he was getting a fit off because he's wearing a v-loan shirt but
he was i had no idea what was going on with him medically and it was terrifying granted you did
stick this i was like that was kind of hot when you stuck the i thought it was terrifying. Granted, you did stick this... I was like, that was kind of hot when you stuck
the... I thought it was hot.
I only did that for a few times. When he stuck the wallet
in his mouth and now I'm to tell all the girls,
Nick stuck the wallet in his mouth. It was awesome.
It looked like it worked.
Well, it helped me because
before the wallet, I just
had my finger
in his mouth. You did. It was starting to
hurt. That was cute yeah get in the
wall in there probably saved my thing i was diddly daddling derailed from the get but like i'm not
like i feel bad for him the other guy he's good the freelance guy he was driving like 95 miles an
hour he was we were on the la highway yeah trying to pick a little bat. The first time we saw him,
I did not think he was our
producer. He was our PA,
right? He was the one that was supposed to get signatures,
be professional, and we're doing dumb shit.
He was the biggest
sloth. First off, PAs are supposed to be
well-mannered, well-spoken, perfect
posture, just on the
run, quick with it.
He was wearing pants like this.
No, with the ones that zipped a button off.
But like he had them unbuttoned like up to here.
So it was like real flappy.
And then he was wearing Atlanta Hawks jersey, no undershirts.
So just like armpit hair of like a Furby.
But he like, I felt like he was pretending to be a sports
fan because he was like, okay, I got a job at Barstool Sports.
He got a Hawks jersey, Trey Lance.
And they were like playing at the time.
And our first interaction, like we were trying to get
a signature from our like valet
because he was like, welcome us to LA.
We're like, all right, where's this guy?
Yeah. He was just
sitting outside of the van watching the Hawks on his
phone. and they were
it was like the yeah but then he was like pulling his side of the van it was a it was it was a game
one it was a round one game one playoff game against the knicks or i don't even know yeah
might have been yeah just punching the van the motherfucking hawks it's like oh yeah dude and
then he was just i was like yeah dude i work at barstool sports yeah i can understand like that's uh yeah let it out let it out let it out but at i have my
biggest takeaway from him was there's a lot oh fuck there's a few things when he pulled a prank
on you he did not pull a prank it was the weirdest uh there was a part of it uh part of the um
video where we had celebrity lookalikes come in this is our most
hated video by far yeah it's not like nick you are a pessimist it was our least liked okay there
yes but um we were waiting on the lookalikes and he walked up to me full hawks gear same thing
every day yeah super flappy bottom of the pants. He looks at me. I look up
at him. And he looks down. I look down.
And there's just a pair of
fucking boxers in between
us. I look back up at him and he goes,
Undies?
I was like, yeah, I guess, dude.
And he picks them up. He's like,
are these yours? I'm like,
no. And then he looks
and he goes, these are mine and then he like went to the
bathroom and i was like what the fuck was that dude yeah
you told me that after and i like and i was in the car with him, like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude.
And so.
And then the guy sees, and then he had to fly him home, so he left.
Yeah, so it was just one cameraman for the whole video, Corey,
who usually is, like, directing things. But I think he shit himself, and so he had, like, clean underwear or something.
Either way, genius move.
Go change.
Either a funny prank but me and
jeff d lowe when we were on barstool verse america we would all we would have underwear in my pocket
of the bar and i would drop in front of him i'd be good to do you come here with undies and so
like we try it's a good prank yeah try that that's a new trend that's a new fad undying your friends
that guy was also like the first thing he said to us was like, hey, I'm so-and-so. I'm training to be a professional wrestler.
We're like, what?
And so as he was driving 95 miles an hour,
he had the grip.
The thing that you work on your hand strength.
I was just
scared as shit was on LAX.
He's just driving.
And I was like freaking the fuck out.
Dodging that.
I remember we needed him to also film a scene in like this like a bunch of saint statues or something yes and we're like where is he with
the camera and he came back up like crying this is right before the seizure of the other guy's
seizure he's like sorry guys my friend caught on fire we're like what oh yeah his friend caught on
fire he was like,
yeah, sorry. And that's when he lost his camera.
He was so distraught that his friend was
ablaze. Yeah, we were like, we really need to film this.
He was like, hold on. If one of my boys
was on fire, I would be distraught.
I know. His friend did not die.
Good friend.
But no, if your friend,
if his house caught on fire and he got burnt,
that's one thing. But if he was trying to do a wrestling stunt he's probably he probably tried to do some house in
brooklyn he probably had some pyrotechnics and like yeah no they covered him in that like gel
and they're like all right this is what we're gonna do we're gonna light all this gel on fire
oh it was a stunt throw you through a table yeah but the process of throwing you through a table. Yeah. But the process of throwing you through the table, it's going to put out the fire. But I think he just,
he just caught on fire.
And the fire didn't go out.
Wait,
anyway,
he got that phone call live.
He was like,
yeah,
like I just found out my friend caught on fire.
Then the guy had a seizure and then lost the camp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was,
it was a whole,
whole ordeal.
So,
uh,
yeah, it's fun. It's, we really had to like power through because I was day whole ordeal. It's fun.
We really had to power through because that was day two.
That may have been
day two. We were in the middle of nowhere.
Joshua Tree
is in a town.
The ambulance
took a very long time.
A really long time.
I think I watched an episode of Lost
while he was on the ground. Very long. Really, really long time. I think I watched like an episode of Lost.
Like while he was on the ground.
I was like, I don't, you stuck the wallet in his mouth.
I have nothing that I can do.
I might as well catch up on Lost.
And you were at least there like trying to help around me and Nick.
I don't know if you ever. I was less confused after that episode when I just still saw him on the ground.
But it was scary and he's good now so and i remember that night we had plans like you know we got an airbnb in coachella we're
gonna go to palm springs but then after that it was us three eating in like a fancy place in palm
springs i thought like a really fine pizza it was disgusting it sounds like we're complaining
about everything because palm springs is one of the most beautiful, coolest towns in America.
But we did have the slimiest slice of pizza.
We went from the seizure to like our Airbnb.
Okay.
It was a choreographed dance.
And I still had like this dude's blood on me.
And we're like, I forgot about the choreographed dance.
If you go back to this video, you can see them doing the choreographed dance.
I was not.
We should not have been, but
what can you do?
A smorgasbord of...
Did you have a bite mark on from him?
Yes.
That was a tough one, man.
That was tough for you.
The other videos have been
pretty much a breeze.
I would say that's been our
only valley the rest dude alaska's dope i love besides the weather which sucks um but we're here
it's on a rainy week i like it here i like the vibe here i like the vibe it's it's a little too
like we're in anchorage which is which is larger than this entire state of Rhode Island. We know Rhode Island is small,
but still that is a city gigantic.
Yes.
Um,
a lot,
a lot to do kind of in the summer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On fishing.
We've,
uh,
I don't want to spoil too much,
but we've done.
Yeah.
I think a lot this video,
there's a lot you can do in the summers here.
I feel like in the winters is when I'm like, we like what do you do and he said look at plates yeah um yeah which
i don't still don't really know what you meant by that yeah yeah there's been just some interesting
ass stuff but we were in that town where everybody lives in the same building and that was pretty
grim i thought it was it was unsettling for sure
but at the same time sad because like i don't know but at the same time it's not like it's
like you're going to a really shitty school except you can never leave the school like you
live there but the views are incredible if you have an apartment on the front side of the building
my thing is like don't doesn't the
view just become your life and then it's like that's just mundane on a view but how i need to
talk to someone who's had a in the right the other reason people have used is to show off their view
yeah no no i actually think waking up in new york like i just moved into a new apartment i have a
view of the river.
I think me seeing a body of water.
Yeah. But I need to talk to someone who's had a great view for like 40 years and
ask them like,
has,
do you still get enjoyment out of it?
I can't look outside and see like whales breaching.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
And I feel like the view in Alaska always changes with like all the clouds.
Yeah.
It's beautiful here.
You can see a glacier from here.
It's beautiful here.
I would definitely recommend coming.
I wonder if they can get hella fresh to Whittier.
They have raisin canes.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, no, we should talk about that.
Very hard to get delivery food there.
There's only one tunnel that connects the town
to the rest of Alaska, and it closes that night. Longest tunnel
in North America. Yeah. So you were on
Tinder here. There's like a diverse
crowd of girls. You said a lot of
like you can keep
progressive. Like
it's a more progressive state than you think.
It's like a lot of lesbian
of your cash, which
is great. You can go to hellfresh.com slash story
one six. Use code story16 for 16
free meals across 7 boxes and 3
free gifts. That is HelloFresh.com
slash story
16.
Story 16. And people
always ask me, what's the game time?
I know,
but people always ask me that. What is the game
time code? Anus. It's just anus?
Yeah. And then... Let me DM them What is the game time code? Anus. Just anus? Yeah.
And then let me DM them back because they don't listen to the podcast.
They just want to know.
Okay.
Okay.
So I'm going to hook them up.
What has been, this has been a long trip, but I swear Florida felt like a month.
Florida probably was close to a month.
Yeah, that was a rough trip.
That's probably my favorite vid.
Oh, that's my favorite vid. We've done.
This one I think might beat it.
I don't know.
Our pilot was really good when it was just like.
Dude, yeah.
Let's talk about how far we've come.
Because the first concept, I mean.
Well, I didn't think there was going to be any come to far because...
Far to come because...
That was going to be a one-off video.
Yeah, I thought that too.
And if you go even further back than that,
the original idea was just during COVID,
I wanted to do some travel content
and I was like, let's do
virtual vacations like a
Google Maps travel show.
I knew you liked maps i knew it was
really funny and i was like you know i was like i don't have to like talk
but just to settle it i don't know let's just settle it i i i love maps more than nick is funny
we're gonna have a great thank. Thank you, Donnie.
That was a highlight of the course.
I thought it was going to be that, but then COVID started to loosen up.
You could actually travel.
Then you came to Wheeling.
Yes, I came to Wheeling.
Nick did have an idea that came to me one day.
He was like, what if we're on a road trip and just went to three of the worst tourist attractions in the country that was based off katie though you were obsessed with yes yeah you had written
me about like all the worst states so i have i have a long-standing fascination with the largest
ball of twine in cocker city kansas um it's not a it's like not like a positive fascination i think
it's pathetic and the entire state's population is pathetic and every tourist who's been there is
pathetic um then where did it stem to other largest things and i was like the largest
pheasant in south dakota i hate those things then we found that you found a town casey casey
illinois which has like baker's dozen worth of the world's largest things.
Cause they have some of the world's largest and some big.
Yeah.
Which is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was the world's largest by any means.
Yeah.
It was just a big world record for the most world record breaking large
things.
So we had the idea.
Let's do a video bringing like the world's largest crouton and presenting it to the mayor
world's largest crouton being a stale
piece of bread
we did exactly that
I cannot believe how well it worked out
it was just us reaching out
they brought the truck bed
we put no effort into it at all
we were like
how are we going to make a crouton
the climax of this video relies solely on the mayor even showing up.
And then he did.
And then he paraded it in his truck bed.
They put the truck bed for what they...
And it was in the newspaper.
We made up the front page of the newspaper.
Yeah.
But I asked you, I was like, how are we going to make a crouton?
You're like, my friend's girlfriend will just cut off the cross of a piece of bread and put it in the oven.
And that's exactly
what we had so i lived with him and her i was like a permanent third wheel and she burnt every meal
we ever had and so yeah she can probably do this give her a fresh loaf of bread yeah turn it yeah
actually that wasn't the finale of our episode no oh my god this might be still the craziest thing we've ever done
yes shows we this was election season yep 2020 yeah and the fly and ken bone just had regained
popularity right because of the fly oh it was the fly on the fly was on mike pence's head it went viral and like ken bone
got jealous of the fly yeah we drove to his house we drove to his house in like a suburb of saint
louis in illinois um yeah like a cookie cutter it was dessert i think it was it was yeah it was like
in illinois though this summer we were in there and it
doesn't matter but he we come first off we trap a fly you know like a McDonald's trap a fly and
then we lose a fly yeah somehow we like we caught the same fly outside this was wild the whole time
we're like it'd be so hilarious if we let a fly go in Ken Bone's house we're like where are we
gonna find a fly yeah and then we had like a four-hour drive there all of a sudden a fly
appears because we're we're filthy the man's at the end of these trips are disgusting so we yeah
we pull up to ken bone's house and we're wearing ken bone red sweaters which are just four years
dated way longer than that we was eight it feels like i don't even know
we were so far off from being taught it was 2016 yeah long four years eight years worth of four
years we're in his costume we have a we've got the fly in our cup we pull up with with our camera
guys to his house we knock on the door he's very good mr bone answers he did
he was mr bone and he opened the door he goes you didn't ask me to record we're off to a bad start
so now you gotta show up to everyone's house and just shove a camera in their face yeah he was he
was pissed off yeah so this is the right before everyone was like is it cool if we just show up
filming and i was like you told us to come through i think yeah immediately pissed yeah so now we pissed ken bone off we're about to go in
his house this is my first video i've ever done and he has like a mute wife yes who was just like
pacing and showing no emotion she was like an ai she might be an ai wife and then we were just like
can we sit down here for the interview and they're were like, if you want. Yeah, it was.
He had an AI wife, yeah.
He had an AI wife and he's, I don't know.
Emo son.
Gay emo son.
Loves guns.
Ken Bone's son loves guns.
Mine or?
I didn't say he was gay.
I did say.
I just assumed, yeah. Right? We had masks on? We had masks. Yeah. I didn't say he was gay. I did say.
I just assumed, yeah.
We had masks on?
We left a fly out in his house.
He didn't like that either.
First we had to sit down and talk to him for a while. I was sweating.
He was finally starting to cheer up
and then we were like, fuck, we have a fly.
This was like your first
vid, right?
Your first bit ever and
you know i'm used to doing a lot of crazy shit but that's like a broad where it's like you don't
even speak the same language as someone it's like easier yeah oh whatever but like there's no yeah
and you're usually no no no no the cultural difference makes it a lot easier they think
you're weird regardless of what you're doing. Being in Ken Bone's
house while he doesn't want you there
while you... It was the most uncomfortable
I've ever been. When you were reaching for that fly,
I wanted you to abort it. It was the... So bad.
And I was like, we just spent so much time
trying to catch a fly in a car.
We have to fall through with the prank.
I've never, like, any time I've...
The interview was going terribly.
Every joke we planned and question i was
like nervous and not talking because it's my first time interviewing anyone yes it was ken
bone he didn't like me yeah so imagine interview ken bone in retrospect i'd be like fuck you ken
bone yeah why you know why were we afraid of ken bone he is a he is a jumbo meme. I was terrified
of Ken Bone.
He wore the sweater and he's like...
But we were in his house.
And he's just like, we were so afraid.
He was being so condescending and pompous
toward us. Like we were nobodies.
He was like, yeah, CNN was just here.
Did a piece.
What were you saying?
He didn't regard us as humans he would
just answer our questions and talk about himself yeah he never asked how the fuck do we get that
now i'm pissed at him now i like want to like i can't he he wanted the fame that's why so but
first we have to we have to get to the moment i finally released the fly dude that was for me
it came out and immediately his face just drops
and he was like so is this what you guys do you just you should drive around releasing flies and
strangers homes yeah that's what he said that's exactly what he said verbatim so this is what
you guys do yeah flies and straight and we were like we're so sorry but then he's like you know
what i have a salt gun we know we told an awful lot we're like we thought it was dead and we just wanted to show you the dead fly
yeah a good prank sorry i'm sorry ken we thought it was dead um but he breaks out the salt gun
he comes over and we're all like shit if he misses the fly and it just leaves to another
room in his house it's like that i feel so bad just leaving it just leaves to another room in his house, it's like,
that's,
I feel so bad just leaving his house or just a fly somewhere in there.
But he takes out the soft gun and fucking snipes it.
Yeah.
He wastes it,
takes it out.
And that like,
that got his confidence all the way back up where he didn't care.
We released the fly.
Yeah.
It looked like a fucking man.
Yeah.
That gave me a sense of like comfort in a way but but
prior to that that was i've never wanted to leave a house yeah no one has ever wanted to leave house
amanda berry has never wanted to leave out i always have shades on which i think helps a lot
oh yeah because i can pretend there's just a wall between me and ken bone but you guys are just
there shade no no i can't i'm not looking. I'm not. Yeah, I'm
doing, yes. I'm looking even farther
inverted.
And like, the thing is,
that was our most ambitious video, and
we put that together in like two days,
and we managed to like do a ribbon-cutting
ceremony, had that crouton.
We were go-getters.
I want to go back and watch that
video. It was Rediscovering America was the title? It was just and watch that video. Was Rediscovering America
the title?
It was just it.
Rediscovering America.
I was about to say Birth of a Nation.
It might have been.
It's a Hitler movie.
No, it was like...
No, it was...
Shit.
You can find it, but go back.
The edit doesn't look that bad,
but the raw footage, if it's out there,
from start to finish of that Ken Bone.
You guys should release it.
I would sell that just if you have a cringe fetish.
If you have a cringe fetish, it will reach.
It was in stuff.
So we started at Ken Bone's house,
and now we're in Alaska. So it's just
I don't know
what's better or what's worse.
We're not going anywhere.
We have made no improvements.
Our pilot,
our non-sponsor video, we set a world record
and went to a public figure's
house. And now we're
today we caught a fish that had
herpes that is kind of fascinating yeah but we were on a boat in a beautiful actually was pouring
um no just to say like st louis alaska but yeah we've also been to provincetown we've been to
i went back non--cultivated.
Yeah. Yeah, which is...
You loved it so much. Actually, Gay Pat,
after you guys went to bed, he brought me to
something called F-A-G
Bash.
That's like when dogs...
Like when you say treat around a dog.
Yeah.
Just let us say it jesus one day yeah you did go to that and uh it was was that like a basement it was it was in a basement uh a lot of shirtless dudes just raving and um i had to
felt like i had to do that just to prove i wouldn't get a hard-on and I didn't.
The shirtless dudes were so fucking ripped.
That's when I knew I have to start lifting.
Dude, when we had to turn
the corner in those Speedos,
there was a guy that had the most perfect body.
Not because it's gay.
But wearing the same exact Speedo as us
and he turned green.
Not with envy.
Like the rollerco type gangrene oh yeah
yeah but what were some of your highlights
if you're saying going from
Kevin Bowen's house to Anchorage is
a lateral move it's not a lateral move this is
yeah but what have been some other
forward moves well I think one of
our camera guys got laid in
Put-In-Bay which was awesome to even be like semi-associated to that guys got laid in Put-In-Bay, which was awesome to even be semi-associated
to that.
I would say Put-In-Bay with one of your guys
is your favorite spot.
I loved UP in the winter.
We got to race sled dogs.
That Randy I did a rod.
That was the most peaceful experience in my life.
Upper Peninsula is awesome.
San Diego. Tampa, Florida. San Diego. yeah it was awesome it was like really upper peninsula is awesome uh san diego florida san diego um tampa florida remember just ending up in different cities yes he was he was all over
the place but remember our very last day we had those guys tickets out on their boat yeah the
beach like one of them at the end of the day, they came over to me,
they,
they pointed to the side and they're like,
Hey,
so like,
what's wrong with your boy KB?
And I was like,
what do you mean by that?
And they're like,
well,
he just like show up to the beach with like 13% beers or were they long
island?
They were long island.
And then they're like,
and then he invited a bunch of girls.
We went and like,
had to use my boat to be with the girls. But then he invited a bunch of girls. We went and like had to use my boat to pick up the girls,
but then he never talked to the girls.
Yeah.
They were like friends.
So it wasn't,
yeah.
I went back,
I go,
I told him nothing's wrong with KB.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was day 10.
That was,
it was,
yeah,
but it's always,
this has happened a lot in my life where I'll just be like being myself and then like someone will either say like well like what what's wrong and i'm like
fuck this is like this is me or or like i'll be like being myself and people will start cracking
up and i'll be like uh fuck it's not what i mean i want to be funny but i don't want to
be that way nathan fielder said the same thing i'm not comparing myself to him i think we're
both just autistic yeah like people he learned he developed his character from people just
laughing at him for being his regular self and he was like what the what the fuck
what is the best reaction what the so open-ended um i thought you were being completely normal at the beach just the
13 percenters at a beach i think that's just an aggressive that wasn't it
i had nothing to say to that but people always are just like i can never tell when you're joking
yeah it bothers me because like i'll be set something. Yeah, I mean, that shouldn't bother you.
I'm so sorry about, like, your grandpa.
No.
I can never tell when you're joking.
I mean, no.
No, that's your own fault.
Trust me.
How is that my own fault?
Because you get me with shit like that a lot.
Like, what?
No, I still can't tell is what I'm saying.
Yeah, whatever.
All right.
All right, episode 306.
Francis is back.
Yes.
Yeah, he is. I know you've been. Episode 306. Francis is back. Yes. Yeah, he is.
I know you've been.
Oh, yeah. You had a series.
We've done things.
We're not allowed back in China.
Unfortunately, those were very different days.
There were.
But yeah, I don't think I'll be allowed back in China for years.
But did you and Francis work at the company at the same time? I've never had any overlap with them.
Okay.
The power of the...
It's odd to me.
The Barstool fan base is odd,
but powerful because he comes back
and they are like,
oh, yes, we finally get to see Francis again.
Barstool fans act like if you don't work at Barstool, you can't.
Francis was doing podcasts, videos, stand-up, everything.
And they refused to watch it until he got back to Barstool,
which I appreciate the loyalty.
It's wild, yeah.
No, it is awesome.
We have a live show in Boston.
We're prepping some stuff.
We are.
We're going to start out with a musical number with Kyle.
I didn't agree to that.
I barely agreed to the show.
Not be doing a music.
No, we're going to start raising and lowering the hat.
Me!
And so I'm going to be like, Kyle, wake up.
There's a show.
And you're like, what?
What is that?
And then you're going to be like, Kyle, wake up. There's a show. And you're like, what? What is that? And then you're going to start singing.
And then we also ordered a barrel of tomatoes.
There will be tomatoes.
A news joke isn't good.
Ours or the fans.
Everybody gets two tomatoes.
So it'll be things like 50 Cedar.
Yeah.
Well, where's surprise guests surprise
guests tickets are available yeah where don't know fine you can find them i'm sure yeah i'm
not going to tell you where i retweeted them okay yeah we'll yeah whoever comes comes
you guys will sell that out well no well it'll be fine I'm excited it will be good
I already started writing for you
yeah yeah we're good
yeah yeah
fuck
yeah
alright
and be on the lookout for
Rediscovering Louisiana maybe featuring
Ben Mintz
Dave I don't know if it's safe
for our brand. Or Buffalo,
which still hasn't come out.
Donnie has his whole bag
that we watched.
With a haircut that
did look like Doug Fife.
I looked way better though with that haircut.
It was a
brand new shape.
It was both 3D
and flat.
I was so gross when I walked in there.
If you freeze frame the video,
you can see I have dandruff.
My hair is super greasy.
I walked out of there most swagger.
I always forget, Donnie. We'll be in Alaska
and I'll be like, dude, did you see that?
That illusion dude?
He was just in Iraq for a week for like two weeks.
Yeah. Dude,
like this is like the biggest thing we've ever done in our lives and we'll do.
And this is pretty boring for him. Yeah.
I wouldn't say it's boring,
but it was cool when we were driving by those mountains and you guys,
you grew up around.
No, no, no.
That was an incident.
The Appalachia is merely hills
just mesmerized on it
I've seen cooler mountains than that
than what we just saw
in Iceland or where
Tajikistan
that is Central Asia
is such an underrated area of the world
in my opinion from what I know about it
Tajikistan
Tajikistan Turkmenistanistan was dope turkmenistan
they have like gigantic marbled we're going to start shifting to rediscovering america abroad
we actually tried to do a rediscovering america abroad and nick told kb to get his passport like
four months in advance yeah uh and nick actually followed through and got his passport for it we were in san diego we're gonna do rediscovering tijuana uh but kb never managed to apply for it fuck it and also i'm
done with leg day i'm just doing yeah i'm just doing upper body i don't care i was like the
only i don't why do i don't give a fuck about i'm gonna be or parents i'm only upper body for now
that was what we were talking about so So good. I just had to get
that off my chest. Don't care. I'm done
with leg day. I skip it. I'll
skip it for indefinitely. Upper
body.
I think that was the end of the session.
That was fun to reminisce. That's your reply to what I'm going to say. No, you're just going to say, like, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told?
What? No, baby!
It's a new untold story.
A new untold story.
It's a fresh, big untold story.
A new untold story. I'm new.