A New Untold Story - Baby Oil Baron - A New Untold Story: Ep. 414

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

1,000 bottles of baby oil. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/UNTOLD. Smalls - For 50% off your first order, head to https://Smalls.com/UNTOLD and use code UNTOLD. CANN - Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code STORY30 for 30% off your order of Cann and get free shipping.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new one told story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Three, two, one. Intro Kyle. A new one told story. But even me saying intro Kyle becomes the intro. So we just. Yeah. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say?

No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new one told story. Hey, is that story old or told? No, baby. It's a new untold story. Hey, is that story old or told? Fuck no, baby! That's a new untold story! A new untold story. It's a fresh-baked untold story. A new untold story. A new untold story episode 414 that's Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA.

The cream city. Yeah. Yeah. Not an ode to dairy, much to my chagrin. Why is that much to your chagrin? Did you want it to be an ode to dairy, much to my chagrin. Why is that much to your chagrin? Did you want it to be an ode to dairy? Kind of, because this is worse. It's chromatically creamy. The color. That's the brick they use, yeah. So all the buildings are cream. I find that to be a repugnant hue.

But I'm sure it's maybe better than the redundant brown. We had to redo the intro and I'm just going verbatim. You did good. There it is. And now we're to the point. Okay, it's the self-proclaimed culinary capital of the Midwest. Um, hi, we're right here. Chicago, better. I feel like we have better food, but they probably have great food themselves. They have good cheese. Of course favorite good beer. Yes, and Good beef great be it would all be fresher Right because it's close near closer. Maybe it's fresh right closer to what?

The farms oh yeah So yeah, maybe they do have better food Bridges with untraditional angles if you're into that who who in Yeah, oh me One dudes just like yeah, like a long weekend. That are literal trolls would be the only people that care about Think there's bridge tests. I think bridge tests. Yeah, I think people get a little Fun about bridges good lake access. They love summer fests, or maybe there's just one summer fest, but they love birthplace of the ATM Really place of the QWERTY keyboard no way

Type shit the QWERTY keyboard is the keyboard keyboard courty the order of the keys oh? Yeah, well, I never knew what the rhyme or reason was yes the order qwert water. I don't know what the reason is no Some fond memories with both the ATM and the cory keyboard from me both new and old what is You have not have you? Have you told any ATM or QWERTY stories? Yeah, in college, the sheets nearest our home just started spitting out 20s. No way. Yeah.

So that was like the biggest thrill of our lives. Our wrestling team. Wait, in college? Yeah. OK. Did you ever did you go get 20s? Yeah, we got like six 20s instead of one. Amazing. If you are a lotter fan, they have like one of the biggest JR to collections of like manuscripts I don't know any of the words in that sense. Lotter is Lord of the Rings obviously

Jr to Jr. Oh fuck off Marquette you guys should visit you love that shit I didn't know they had original then that's cool. It is, yeah. And of course, petty crime. Specifically vehicular tomfoolery. Yeah. If you're into that. That's where the boys originated. The boys that victimized me.

And if that's not your forte, that's the Kia boys forte. They'll steal your soul and leave it in Franklin Heights That's not your Sorrento. That's our Sorrento lol Yeah, so apparently it's a crazy problem like the Kia boys of course. I think we all know about them They there's like a iPhone hack where you can just break into a Kia with utmost ease Kia's oh Yeah, like you should never buy Kia. You could just go into a Kia with utmost ease. Kia's oh yeah like you should never buy a Kia You could just go take a Kia. Yeah, it's probably harder to get a shopping cart than a Kia Yeah, they have better defenses getting it out of the parking lot

Yeah, the wheels will at least lock up when you buy a Kia now in Milwaukee They give you the bar for the steering wheel comes with it. Why would you do that? Why would you do it? What is the Kia dealership likehip? Like just a jester laughing like, ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. See, you can take this. Yeah. But like. Yeah, it's like a real, like a guy,

you know in a movie when a guy's obviously evil but pretending to be good, he's always like tapping his fingers. Yeah, that's the owner. Sure, sit down. Yeah. What do I need to do to get you in one of these beautiful vehicles?

You just walk to the Kia dealership and you're just like, he's like, oh, can I help you with anything? You're like, no, I need to do to get you in one of these beautiful vehicles? You just walk to the key Like it's like oh, can I help you think like no, I'm good and you just get in one and leave That's what you could do. Yeah, they probably don't those people probably don't interact with humans Kia, they're solid Apparently, it's such a big problem. Like if you go to like the Milwaukee subreddit, it like all of the Kias are gone in this city. It's Kiil-less. So they so like kids like young teens will steal the Kias, joyride, ridiculously. Stealing Kias is like baby shit up there that is like right before 10th birthday shit. Yeah it's not even Grand Theft Auto. No. They're like playing with toy cars while they also steal Kia's.

That's the age they are. And it's not just stealing Kia's, like entire lots, it's like smash and grab every window. They clear out lots, apartment lots, what have you, and just rob people's cars, smash their windows. That bad up there. It's that bad. It's that bad. I went up for a concert and had a great time.

I heard it's a fantastic city. That would be fun. Apparently they don't care. They're undisguised teens. They film it. They post it. Oh yeah, they'll go live and people will just be tuned in. I guess they'll just get away with it. That would be more entertaining than like a Brewers regular season game. Yes. I would rather watch Akiya Boy. That would be more entertaining than like a Brewers regular season game. Yes, I would rather watch a Kia boy. Mm-hmm Mm-hmm. That would be fun to feel like put up a poll. It's like which one am I taking? Yeah, and you vote I would do that or like a pro fishing thing where it's like how many can I get in a night? Oh, yeah Yeah, catch and release. Yeah What else do we have about Milwaukee?

Oh yeah? You have more? Oh no. What did you think you saw? Another call. Um, Teddy Roosevelt was, did you know he survived an assassination attempt? No. In Milwaukee, outside the Kilpatrick Hotel, he got shot in the chest.

He's a bad motherfucker. He's a bad motherfucker. He's a bad mother- And then he finished his speech. He was like, I don't know if you guys realize, but I just got shot. But it's gonna take more than a gun bullet to kill a bull moose. Which is whatever that means. He's a psycho. That's so factually wrong.

Because that's what you do need to kill a bull moose. A gun bullet. Yeah. Yeah. That's so factually wrong, because that's what you do need to kill a bull moose. A gun bullet. Yeah. Yeah. But apparently he was like, okay, I'm not coughing out of my, or I'm not bleeding out of my mouth,

or coughing up blood, so that means it didn't hit my lungs, that means I'm good. I kind of make sense, because in movies, I feel like whenever you see blood come out the mouth, it's- That they die.

They could never live from that. Like the dad sneaking off to like, cough a kerchief right blood and he hides it in his dude he challenged the world heavyweight like the world boxing champion and lost vision in his fucking eyes yeah he got his fucking ass kicked so I read up on him and holy shit I apologize to him and his family and his estate I didn't know what he was that cool of a man he was super has he gotten a show or anything cuz who's the he deserves a program they gave lame presence the John Adams miniseries I don't give a fuck about

John Adams closest was not in the museum I feel like yeah and he was portrayed pretty cool yeah Robin Williams yeah so yeah he is a medal of honor he they say he would stay up he would only sleep three hours a night and read an entire book before bed every night, which is... I'm not buying, that's a tall tale. Don't believe that. They said he would just ride a horse through the Badlands and capture outlaws, which I don't know if I believe.

He was a world champion, he was a college champion boxer. Would you like it though, if you were in his shoes? Would you like those rumors to be about you? Yes, because I started a rumor about you two weeks ago. I'll yeah. What did you start? I've been telling everybody just like you know he's a really good singer. He just won't do it And I think that's gonna piss you I think I'll piss you damn. Are you a good singer? You guys have heard me at like my best. I've heard you fray Okay, I love that rumor okay

By the way, I did do that a couple of active than having to prove it just people thinking and that you don't even do it exactly Okay, I'll start. I'll start doing that for you. I Don't know. I don't know if I'd want that just like yo, did you hear Nick blank? I don't think I'd want that like something awesome something like so like yeah something so awesome That it No, I got what I because it would hurt me. I'd be like I would never be able to do that Oh, cuz it's like a reminder that you can't are inferior. Yes, I get it mm-hmm. I Get it. No, but I think a guy like him. I think he would play along

He might you might have been a little bit of a douche. You think? I don't know, this was so long ago. Yeah, well I don't know if douches existed back then. No. They weren't starting to see older douches. But like, I don't think they were like, who's the oldest douche?

The oldest douche? I think douches started in the 80s. I don't know, I mean like. Cause they were, I mean, let's rewind, there were no cavemen douches. Not, no. No biblical douches. No, when you were like,

when you were still prioritizing survival, no way. Yeah. I think it was like when comedy started. Yeah? I don't know. No, I think it was when, I don't know, because when when did dudes really start lusting after pussy, but you had to earn it You couldn't take it. It's when you had to earn pussy instead of taking it. That's when you couldn't steal it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm which I guess

The Industrial Revolution? Yeah. It's a douche's back then. Did they invent? You're an industrial douche. Crazy. Because then you had like barons and shit, like oil barons. They were like evil. They were like Kia dealers. Just like a Kia dealer and oil barons, like everything like you agree to something, like yeah, okay, you make an agreement with an oil baron like a Kia dealer and oil barons like everything like you agree to something like yeah, okay

You make an agreement with an oil baron or a deal evil and then like thunder crashes every single time. There's an agreement Oil baron we got a we have a baby oil baron on our hands These are baby oil, but yes bit. Dude, they confiscated 1000 bottles of baby oil? It was a reservoir. Dude, so first of all, the funniest part to me, that's not illegal to have. They just didn't do it to embarrass them. It's not illegal, but it is damning. It's damning as fuck. But they didn't embarrass him. It's not illegal, but it is damning. It's damning as fuck. But they didn't have to say that.

No, they didn't have to say it. So imagine if one of us gets arrested, that should be, they should just be able to say the most embarrassing thing in your home, if they arrest you. Conversely, it'd be almost more embarrassing if they imagine the headline, Diddy's house raided, no lube.

No lubeless home. Well, no, that would make him worse than he is. That's what I mean. He was bite the sheets kind of guy. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, of fictional city demographics. What would they do for you? Yours would actually be weapons though. Mine would just be weapons. It would be embarrassing though. Just like eight, dull, cheap movie replica.

That was in the headlines. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I did the math. I did some math too. Did you? What is your math? I looked up if he used one bottle of baby oil a week.

So I did it in the past. if he used one bottle of baby oil a week. So I did it in the past. So if he was using, how long it would take to use a thousand bottles. So if I were to run out of a thousand bottles of baby oil today, if I used one bottle a week. That's working it too. That's working it. I would have had to have started

when Teddy Bruski had a stroke and had to miss the rest of the Patriots season How long ago was that? That's Bush right? That was 2005 So much lube Today I would that okay, so I would have been 2005 be like you know what I'm gonna start using a bottle of baby Oil a week to fuck me milk

In 2005 Yeah All to fuck me milk A thousand bottles That is Six thousand square inches of baby oil, which would be, um, this is where I get, that would be five hundred square feet of baby oil, which is bigger than apartments I've had. Yes, I've, he's had more baby oil than I've had home.

Easily. I've had yes, I think he's had more baby oil than I've had home Thousand bottles of babe he was ordering it by like the the cargo ship well you can on Amazon Prime they do have a 55 gallon oil drum, but he didn't know drum He went with bars because he was a man on the go he was there's not enough black cheek in the world He could have had every black ass shining. Not just in America. No. The Afrikaans. The Dominican Republic. Oh yeah. He was a baby oil baron. He is. It's like if you emptied the Great Lakes it would cover the whole like every all pieces of land. Yes. One inch of water. He could cover one inch of all of that I want a chart of all the deepest lakes and how deep his oil could have been

like Obviously that's enough to drown in but is that enough to could I jackknife in that his yes could I? I'm wondering what you could do into that Depth of baby could you is that enough liquid to keep like a dolphin alive? Yes? Oh, yeah, I can make a dam a diddy dam. That's unbelievable John D. Roccobye That's so fucking stupid I was pumped about that one.

Saw-we Arabians. That's good. That's really fucking good, dude. What else? I don't know. Dude, I don't- A ludicrous amount of- It's a ludicrous amount. It was for ludicrous. A ludicrous amount of It's a ludicrous amount. It was for ludicrous.

Ludicrous amount of baby oil. With his big arms. Yeah, yeah. That's insane. Crime rate would plummet if they were like, listen, we'll send you to jail, but we will say the most embarrassing thing in your home. Yeah, that's like, that's their big thing is pride.

Yeah. That's why people murder out of pride. Wow. I don't know. He probably was pissed at himself he didn't use it before the cops came. They wouldn't have got him. But he wouldn't have had enough time. He had enough baby oil for many a lifetime. His great grandchildren were using their papi's oil.

Yeah. It'll be handed down for generations. Damn. It was probably brand name too. Their Pappy's oil. Yeah, it'll be handed down for generations Yeah Damn, it was probably brand name, too Yeah, they probably kicked in the door and it was like that scene in there will be blood when the oil rig just goes It would just it would be finished that move No, you don't. Yeah, you don't need to finish movies. You don't have to watch the best parts Although the last scene is pretty sick. Started off amazing.

I'm like, that's such a shit attention span. You said yesterday that some of your favorite movies you haven't finished. Yeah, a lot. Like Mystic River, Memento. You didn't finish Memento? I didn't finish The Sopranos. That was your whole life. Yeah. And like people always ask me about the ending or talking. I'm like yeah, yeah That's all you say I know I don't know why I always lie

I feel like I'm gonna let people down if I say I haven't seen a movie Because they're probably way more amped up if I haven't seen it they get to describe. Yeah, you gotta watch this So I say yeah, what's your favorite part? Describe. Yeah, you gotta watch us. So I say yeah, what's your favorite part? Which makes you not want to watch it hard to say yeah If somebody's super passionate about something I'll give it a try. I don't feel that way no no I started using like well the Game of Thrones is when I noticed it people are like I haven't seen Game of Thrones And they're like oh my fucking god. Are you even able to breathe air? How are you even alive right now? That was unavoidable.

You almost had to watch that to be civilized back then. Work life without watching Game of Thrones must've been. Real job without Game of Thrones. Weren't part of any contest. Oh yeah. It was office small talk cheat code. It was like our current day version of being a leper. I almost feel like though, a lot of people probably liked it,

but I bet you a lot of people watched out of being forced. Like I need to understand the SNL sketches. I need to understand talking points. I don't want, maybe I do want to watch it one day, but everybody talks about it, so it's going to be spoiled. They had an actual stranglehold. That's how I felt a lot with people that did CrossFit. They're like, all right, now you got to do.

But there's no CrossFit spoilers, retard. I know, but I'm saying like, they're just like, oh I'm doing CrossFit, it's like you're doing 15 times. Oh chin up! Oh I didn't get there yet! Fuck! You spoiled CrossFit! What's the ending? No no no no no! Don't say I tear my ACL. Please.

Oh you spoiled CrossFit for me. That's like... You can't watch football now because you haven't watched season one. Yeah. Yeah the backers. That's like, you can't watch football now because you haven't watched season one. Yeah. Yeah, the backers. Shut up. That was my life.

Like when I first started at Barstow, I didn't watch the NFL or any sport or Game of Thrones. So I just like, I got to hide in a hotel. And yeah. No talking points. Those were the two talking points. Does anybody do like year recaps of every year? Because I just I do want to get caught up on baseball.

I would love to. Yeah, I don't know anything about it. So, yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. I would love to just know. Yeah, I just I that was the nice thing about the Jordan documentary. Yeah, I guess that helped a little bit of nuance in there that I didn't know about. The the the ticket for entry for hockey, I just won't I can't no I just can't it's the the names the Russian names are too much I'll never know what offsides is the rules. Yeah, don't try It's very simple. Don't try. I'm not gonna but it's very simple is it all right quick break to talk to you guys about

my Second most used app number one roller coaster tycoon classic. I'm on well. I'm crushing it right now and to Game time game time. I just bought the story so far tickets That'll be I it's take me as you please I Me and white socks Dave are going and it's at this ballroom in I think like a little Nairobi or something It's a little it's in little Ethiopia nice You know where it's some you know yeah, yeah, I for sure am and I'm gonna be there moshing swinging fists

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Kyle We aren't good with our money No No, no, no, but I did I did it. I did rocket money. It was insane. It was almost too much. It's a little shameful to see, but it's something I had to do. And it was so easy. You just click a button and it clears the whole subscription. You know I have Hulu, right? Hulu?

Hulu. Oh, it's Hulu? The streaming app? Oh, I thought it was Hulu. No, you didn't. Psych. Well, I have Hulu. What I didn't know, I thought it was Hello. No, you didn't. I know. Psych. Well, I have Hulu. Yeah.

What I didn't know, I had two Hulus. From streaming apps? No joke, I had two Hulus. Wow. So you got rid of both? Yeah. No, one. Okay, well that would have been more money in your pocket.

Right, but I still want my Hulu, but I didn't want to pay for a second Hulu, and Rocket Money showed me how to do that. It's a personal finance app that helps you cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over five million users

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rocketmoney.com slash untold. I'm telling you guys, it's five minutes tops. It's even like a cool party trick. Like show your aunts and uncles and dads, like hey, do this, get money. Feels good to feel responsible. Yeah. Oh, that should be their tagline.

It's incredibly simple. I did some research on today's date Yeah, so September the September 19th day that this comes out cool So September 19th 1995 was the day that the Unibomber Manifesto came out dropped on the New York Times Yeah, that's crazy. They put it in the New York Times. He demanded it. He demanded he was anti-tech Very much. So yeah, it was called industrial society and its future 35,000 words. Yeah, basically he just talked shit about tech. But yeah, I mean terrorists writing in the times that that lib rag now is ruined

It's all anti-american sentiment. Yes But I was I like him. I read his shit. You like him. I read his Wikipedia I'm kind of cool. He's kind of spit well like look his main picture is like hot That looks that drawing me. Yeah, he that right now Like I wish I looked like that you could achieve that look pretty easy. No no that he has no buccal fat. I have jowls yeah true, thanks um But the buckle fat corrector is gonna get you in the D is that it's not every time I say Buickle He gets me. Oh, there's one guy that he's nice about it, but it's also like kind of Pretentious he'll get you but as long as he doesn't air it out like if you want to DM me and say said Aronka

Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. Thank you. But he's an interesting dude. He was a fucking genius He skipped two grades went to Harvard when he was 16 graduated when he was 20 and then He Was a part of a brainwashing experiment at Harvard Remember this so they would write essays and then they would then go into a room and then they would just get verbally assaulted and just shit on They just got hated on yes hours

Fuck them up three years, and they would just do it again over and over do your best And then they would just get verbally assaulted code name the yak yeah, yes wait actually no, okay? I was just gonna say well history repeats itself No, but yeah, and then what does constant shitting on from everybody due to a person? Yeah, that was the study negative feedback in mass is bad. Yeah, it's not good and but afterwards he's like no I No problem with it. They didn't tell them until after that it was brainwashing. Oh that seems pretty fucked up Yeah, but it was like the 70s at least he turned out all right. I did exactly so he said didn't affect him whatsoever

And then right after college he decided I'm gonna get a sex change Oh, I didn't know he did that know that did the Unabomber had a pussy He didn't but the reason why he wanted to get a sex change. He didn't go follow through with No not that shit he has a pussy is a pussy isn't that fucking crazy But he didn't go through with it But the reason he wanted to do it was because he felt it was the only way he could get a pussy Was to have a pussy yes, which is kind of brilliant Yeah, I mean the only the only way could get pussy was his own. Yeah. Oh, he's talking about his own.

Yeah. Well, I mean, he he was a he was an apex nerd. He was. Yeah. Then he only ate cashews for the entire year. They tried to brainwash him. That seems like a yak thing to ask. Like I made that. You do it in the grand scheme of things like you lived in the woods. Yeah. No, he's a man. He's he's not the man. Oh, no he's a man he's not the man Yeah, I read his Wikipedia. Okay. You keep saying that off the bottom. Maybe I didn't finish it Didn't get the ending. I don't know there's I remember some cool paragraphs like oh, yeah, I kind of he was getting it

Just very very anti-tech Super and is that what? destiny is on um I probably just yeah destiny's probably on everything funny enough I had a thought where I was like feel like you had a thought yeah holy shit but I was do women write manifestos and I was like oh buddy they do obviously manifest us or was it woman a festo I wasn't gonna say that but the first page result when I wrote when I looked up women manifestos on the first page was a Manifesto written by one of Destiny's exes about him of course yeah

He they don't know yeah that what is he I don't I didn't want to read it I don't know if it's good or bad, but anyways I was like an interesting caveat that I wasn't gonna bring up But you brought up destiny we we rock with destiny Indeed what else did I write about this motherfucker? Oh, yeah, so they did brainwashing and basically they made the most bitchless man on earth So he didn't go through with this exchange then he decided to go to the woods and make bombs Yeah, it's either pussy or bombs mm He's making bombs and they were working. Why do you like this guy?

I don't like, I respect, like, what are you gonna, I don't respect him either. I mean, what he did has never been done. I think he's a genius. Dude, you love the Unabomber. I mean, he did have a genius level of intellect, and some of the points he made. Wait, do you just like him because he's Polish? No, new thing, I mean he did have a genius level intellect and some of the points you just like him cuz he's polish

No new thing. I'm Cuban Fuck are you talking about I told my girlfriend that and she like believed it for a little bit. I'm yeah, I'm Cuban You look Cuban you're Cuban. I'm gonna roll with that. It's believable. Yeah, thank you Yeah, why do you want why you why you cube? I don't know and also when you get like you're fairly tan you say oh I'm part Cuban. What are people gonna be like no people are gonna be no no You can say the other some pale. Yeah, can't you even say it? I think so mm-hmm You know I did the statistics. I am taller than the average adult man in Oz Did the statistics I am taller than the average adult man in Oz The Shire

Ant-man's multi Quantum birth, I don't know where are you gonna be tall petri dish the average electron. The average electron. 58 different countries. Not three, 58. That's pretty good. Spanning many continents. What, how many of them are Asian Middle East? How many of them are Asian Middle East? How many of them have access to food? Well, the shortest is Timor-Leste or East Timor.

OK. Average dude, five, three. But I got a gang of them, even some in Africa. Yeah. Liberia. I memorized them all. Now I'm going to. Madagascar. Would you ever want to go? I don't know about that. No, I'm gonna I gotta roll up to one of these places Just be big. Mm-hmm That's all I'll be a cool travel series tall abroad. Yeah It's a video series, but it's just one photo. That's like 30 minutes like on YouTube.

Just you standing in that country. Welcome back to Tall Abroad. And then it's done. There and back again. That's beautiful. The hobbit store. The hobbit store. God damn.

Good for you, bro. KB, this one's for you. Yeah, this one's for you. Not because of the name of the company. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even notice. Smalls. Okay, yeah, this one's for you not because of the name of the company. Yeah Okay, yeah our next partner it's like opening up your closet and looking at the tax your shirts Our next partner has truly I caught you palming your small size tag

Truly made a positive impact on the most important person in my life. No, I'm not talking about Nick, I'm talking about my cat. My cat's old food would stink. It smelled like the things I fed her, which stunk. I used to dread every time I had to feed her. This is true. They say happy cat, happy life, or something like that. But cat food has been the same forever. Not only is it unhealthy, but your cat isn't having fun with it.

Okay? It's time for cat food to move into the 21st century, specifically the 2020s. That's why you've got to try Smalls. It's time to make kibble a thing of the past. So Smalls cat food is protein packed. The recipes are made with preservative free ingredients that you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door. That's why veterinarians.com rates Smalls 10 out of 10 for the ingredient quality.

Piper and soon to be Pinky goes crazy for it. I mean, that's the highlight of her life eating and now it's like she's in bliss three to five times a day. So get Smalls for your cat, I'm telling you to do this. Head to Smalls.com slash untold and use promo code untold at checkout for 50% off your first order plus free shipping. That's the best offer you'll have. But you have to use my code untold.

50% off your first order, smalls. Send Kyle pictures of your cat. Yes, or videos, documentaries. Dude, I love just like a little kitten video, and I just love hearing it's meow when it looks up at you. Can you at least admit that the kittens are the cutest? Kittens are cuter than puppies. Yes, dogs are better in all categories than cats, but kittens are the cutest.

Next up. Okay, we're talking about Cannes with the duo of N's. Say hi to Cannes Social Tonics. So it's a tonic that spikes their seltzer with weed. Cannabis. Smoking, it's not for everyone. Yep. For many reasons.

Drinking is so much easier. Smoking hurts my lungs. I am off the sauce almost completely. Alcohol, I'm done getting drunk. I hate the feeling, I hate the feeling the morning after. Yeah, I'm 10 days in too. Yeah.

And I'm off weed. Whoa. But I love it, so I'll get back on it. In. And I'm off weed. Whoa. But I love it. So I'll get back on it. In Bev form. So it comes in three award-winning flavors. Blood orange, cardamom, lemon lavender, and grapefruit rosemary. Interesting.

That's right. I like the lemon lavender. Sounds good. Can comes in a variety of doses for every drinker ranging from two milligrams to five milligrams. You know, which one I do Probably half of the two half of the two This is awesome head to drink can with two ends calm that's drink can n calm and use code story 30 For 30% off your order of can and get free shipping Can is not for use or purchased by persons under the age of 21.

Can products contain less than 0.3% Delta 9 THC that is derived from hemp. Do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease and have not been evaluated or proved by the FDA. Rudy. Yep. We got a shit on you. Please.

From our parlays last week. Oh, Rudy. Rudy. Oh, heavens to Betsy The iridescent bag was right there, dude. It was that was made of unobtainium that bag was that was valuable Yeah, it was you did the Declaration of Financial Independence a clever name. They are clever and you did Washington Yeah for Darnell Washington, which is crazy.

I did. He had his first ever touchdown. He had like three career catches before that. Yes. They were celebrating like it was, he had just beaten cancer. Statistically, he would have beaten cancer before that, like getting a touchdown.

It was remarkable odds. Then you had? Justin Jefferson. He had a 97 yard touchdown. Yeah, Justin Jefferson. I can't remember. I've kind of blocked it out. Alexander Madison, who doesn't,

who's not much of a scorer. Not much of, yeah, he doesn't get too many touches. One other guy, and. Yeah, this is. You put $35 on it to win. 104,895. And the one that didn't hit. Yeah.

Was Kyle Hamilton,s defense mm-hmm You know what the worst part about this is Rudy What so if if you just bet it without Kyle Hamilton mm-hmm? You would have gotten $40,000. Yeah, but your thought process was I want to make a bet to win a hundred thousand dollars So you just would have raised your bet to like a hundred bucks on that other one to get a hundred thousand So you would have had a hundred thousand dollars if you didn't have Kyle Hamilton, right? But you had to have Kyle Hamilton Hamilton because the Declaration of Independence theme Oh Contrary

Sign the Declaration of Independence He didn't sign the Declaration of Independence. You didn't spend one second to Google. You said it took you hours to write, and you didn't look if he even signed the Declaration of Independence. You would have $40,000 right now. You said you were going to make a bet to get $100,000, so he probably would have had $100,000. Yeah, that's true. You could have afforded a Harley Davidson, liposuction for your fat aunt.

A Great Lake worth a blue. And like a car. Yeah. You could have gotten a really nice down payment on a beautiful home. Yeah. That is such life-changing money. It is.

That you didn't do the last step step the last step of just making sure Hamilton rep or ball Baltimore defense represented Hamilton. Yeah. Yeah He turns out it turns out Alexander Hamilton was a nobody. He didn't do much He he just got thrown in there because he was like a he was like a ghostwriter But he didn't he wasn't president, didn't sign the Declaration of Independence. I think he did some shit, like he did some Constitution shit, and then there's a play. Oh, cool. Yeah.

One of the biggest ever. I could have funded a play with this. Yeah. At least a mid-level. You could have really, really changed your life. You could have upgraded, you could have lived in a, that's a year's worth of rent in a unbelievable apartment Yeah, I would have bought the hundred thousand dollar cat

So yeah, you would have just flushed okay, I guess it's you didn't get it There's a hundred thousand you added a Hamilton leg, bro. She needs an arm But what yeah, what were you saying nothing a hundred thousand dollar cat? There's a hundred thousand dollar cat breed That's insane a bangle. It's like a bangle hybrid Asher Asher as the Asher Roth. I don't know yeah, but like Nobody you can't flex a cat You can once you say was a hundred thousand dollars that shit's pure ass for everyone else. It's for me Are you gatekeeping cats no yeah, can you're the only you're getting another one it's for me. Are you gatekeeping cats? No, yeah, you're getting another one. It's signed, I got it.

I just gotta wait for it to get spayed so I can pick it up. Yeah? Yeah. You have two girl cats, what's it look like? It's a cute little kitten. It's a tiny kitten, it's adorable. Light gray with light gray stripes.

Wow. Yeah. What's its name? Pinkie Baby stripes. Wow. Yeah. What's its name? Pinky Baby J. Jones. Of course. What? Pinky. You named it Pinky?

Pinky. Why'd you name it Pinky? I wanted to do alliteration with the P's, maybe call it PJ or Baby J. Pinky Jones. It's also a Jones. You don't like Pinky, do you? No, I like Pinky.. It's also a Jones. You don't like Pinky, do you? No, I like Pinky.

I like Pinky a lot. I like the name, I'd have never met the cat. Yeah, I'm gonna roll with Pinky. Yeah, I'm fine with that. So nicknames would be PJP, Pink. No, I think we can say Pink, Pinky. Yeah. That's a good name. You wanna make an Instagram account for it?

No. How do you think Piper's gonna react? I cannot wait, for better or worse. Which are you account for it? No. How do you think Piper's gonna react? That's what I cannot wait for, better or worse. Which are you hoping for? Worse. I would love like a feud, like an ongoing feud. Oh my God. Like violent?

No injury? To a degree, yeah. And would you step in? That would be so exciting. If you had just like a feuding animals to watch every day, you're for free Yeah, one could be so lucky

That'd be cool. What are their genders both chicks both chicks. That's weird to call an animal a chick Fuck it. Oh nice chicks. Yeah, we're like a panel can animals be twins do this ratio of my just like oh my god Twin chicks fuck yeah, Kyle lives with three chicks Same Three I want my apologies didn't mean to call it a chick so you are gonna get a cat I don't know if you want to parlay if I had yeah, do you have any this week? I don't know if you want the parlay if I had yeah, do you have any this week? Yeah, I do. What's it gonna be? Kind of shifting gears this sort of radically changed me this whole experience the declaration of financial independence This one is this week is the Communist Manifesto

Not really shifting gears too much still political. Yeah, but we're going the other direction. You've been on manifesto mode. Mm-hmm Yeah, I was gonna say you should have manifested some pussy Me yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah fuck. Why didn't I think of that? Festo is the spell that Ron used to get Hermione. Okay, so Carl I don't know the Communist Manifest a manifesto is Carl Granderson over sacks mark Andrews anytime Karl Marx and Marks, and then you're gonna wanna hammer and kiddle. Oh, that's good.

Okay, hammer, kiddle. Demar Hamlin over tackles. Oh, you're, oh God. I thought you were just gonna say hammer, kiddle. No. You're betting on Demar Hamlin? Yeah. What is- Fuck it.

What is that one for the manifesto? That Hamlin hammer. That's gonna be a bad beat, a bad heartbeat. Fuck it. What is that one for the manifesto? that Hamlin hammer That's gonna be a bad beat a bad heartbeat Is there any worse beat than what I've already in does the bet void if he dies Honestly, I don't think I don't think so either yes and not play him. That's a great question Because that's a nice little safety net sprinkled tomorrow and everything Yeah life insurance policy and then great kiddle anytime touchdown

Okay, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. That could hit. I have a couple maybe I have a couple and we have that video. We'll do it again. We will after this Everything you need for pigtails Kyle That's a mirror and bow bow two bows It's a mirror a lot and Jake Bobo What is your two-part mirror two bows? Absolutely Okay, yeah, he could score I've got Netflix rebooting friends wide receiver. Amir and two bows. Absolutely. Okay, yeah, he could score.

I've got Netflix rebooting friends. So that's you got you probably know what that is. Netflix rebooting friends. Yeah. Who are the characters? That's Brown Joey and Ty Chandler. D'Ami Brown, Joe Burrow and Ty Chandler. Dami Brown Joe burrow and Ty Chandler And then of course you got to go with Pac-Man's youngest boy asking him what's for dinner No, no directions yeah, what? That's white dot son walk a walk a walker, and that's a it's of course Rashad white jahan dotson and Kenneth Walker

And then you got to go Did that dude Did that dude just ass fuck me in Egypt those are are all kickers. The over points for kickers. That's Sly Gay Cairo Dicker. Who were those? Kickers. Joey Sly, Matt Gay. And what is the name of that one? Oh, fuck. Did that Egyptian just fuck my ass?

And that'll be in the book, actually. They're putting that one in there with my picture smiling. It's like everybody else's parlays. And that'll be in the book actually. They're putting that one in there with my picture smiling It's like everybody else's parlays. It is me smiling and the app Oh fuck did that Egyptian just fuck my ass if the Egyptians catch wind of that they are not going to be happy No, Cairo boys will not I don't think they will catch wind of that I have not the best at their jobs Okay, we got a tremble Taylor. It's a guy that's fixing your clothes shaking. Yeah, it's Tommy Trump and then I got Britain cooks their foods bad. I got white Hooper

All right, so who are the players Rashad white Austin Hooper? Britain Covey Brandon cooks Tommy tremble Jonathan Taylor all to score yeah, that's right for the taking those sound good and I have Reparations time no no white Pickens cotton Also Rashad white George Pickens and Kate on See on see ya

Dude I was working so hard on girls closet. I just couldn't get it. I had Levi's and tootoo This must be a girl's closet what you got let me know if these make sense or not Some of them might not. Mrs. McAllister's mid-flight mania. Oh no, Mike Evans at home. We gotta touchdown ASAP. That's Mike Evans at home against the Broncos and then watch out for Marvin Harry son Marvin Harrison Jr. the sticky bandits yeah of course yeah you

got to go with that another one in Tampa for college number eight Miami is heading across the state to take on unranked South Florida. This one is called Too Much Chicken for Jordan and Pippin. And that's Bulls Over 8 Canes. That's the South Florida Bulls upsetting Number 8 Miami. Of course. Plus 550. What's the name of that?

Too Much Chicken for Jordan and Pippen? This one is a stretch is stretch San Antonio 10 gets rejected on 6th Street Damn Barkley be right waddle away Austin three Yes, that one's good Barclay Brock right All the sharps on He's a lion's tight end he's gonna be ripe for the red zone I think he's gonna get some more looks he's been frustrated with his lack of targets How many is he has a couple only has a couple. Two. One target. Yeah, be right. He has two yards.

No, two yards. That's what the money is. You gotta follow the money. Jalen Waddle away at Seattle and Calvin Austin the third. Of course. That's pretty good shit. Mm-hmm. What else you got? Some other annoyed pap pap Okay, grandson What? Who the fuck is that so like your kylan grants?

And I had a one-legged One leg parlays. I just couldn't think of it. I have a lot of one-legged What do you yeah? Forgot the name of the oh shit. I forgot the name of the profession that does manicures. That's just nailer Yes, that's what would come to mind We should do one leg parlay's next week This one's called the rapper. I got Drake. That would go crazy.

Rapper. I don't actually have that one. I didn't type that out. Iowa at Minnesota. I think you'd be interested in this one. Go for hot guys. Then the urinal tragedy.

South Carolina, you got to take minus 28 and a half at home against Akron. Cocks, zips, zips, cocks. Gonna be a blood bathroom. Then the rest, they're even worse. I'm just playing around. Dude, I've been scrolling depth charts going deep.

Oh, it's I'm running out. Yeah, we're about done. No, no, no. I think we I think by the end of the season, they're going to be such dog shit. Oh, yeah. Do you think we're going to have to like weave in different sports? Yeah. Yeah. Big time. As soon as we run out, though, they're going to end in different sports. Yeah, yeah big time as soon as we run out though They're going to end up selling it. Oh

Yeah Have you guys I've been scrolling the reddit the subreddit to sentence horror If you try to write a horror story in two sentences Have you been to it? No, they are so fucking bad They are so fucking bad. I said. Really? So is their aim to be actually like scary? Yes, there are people trying to be like really scary. My noodles were tasting a little off until I looked down and they were actually worms.

Mew, can you actually play that creepy music I have loaded up? Oh my god. That's so embarrassing. It's so fun. Mookie, can you actually play that creepy music I have loaded up? Oh my god. That's so embarrassing. That's so pathetic. Let me look this up. It's the funniest subreddit. I just have that YouTube open, Mookie. There was a man named Mr. Teeth.

Wait, is this yours? No, this is online. And we still don't know much about him. There was a man named Mr. Teeth. Is this yours? No, this is online. And we still don't know much about him. That was it? Is this like getting traction in numbers? Yes. People are like, oh, that just gave me chills.

What? There's a man named Mr. Teeth? That's so bad. I wrote some though. Mr. T So bad I wrote some though If you touch anything green you die he said to me as I stood on the lawn Barefoot I have some more actually go that was actually kind of good you liked that one. Yeah, okay That plane just hit the tower thank God I'm in the other

You're too good at fuck you are that's eliciting chills America is under attack Time to hide in this remote Pennsylvania field. Okay, this is the cinematic universe. Yeah. Germany is at war with us. Hold on. Hold on. Japan surprised attacked Pearl Harbor Thank God that was a long time ago, and I'm in the World Trade Center in 2001 That's all that's all I have But it's a really funny scroll look I scroll. I've been going just a random sub. I've been on the Blu-ray subreddit. These dudes are spending their life savings on. They're like getting divorced because they can't stop buying Blu-rays. This is a collection of men? The Blu-ray subreddit is active as fuck. I didn't know. Dude, why not DVDs? This is what fucking Unibomber was talking about. Yeah, you're right. Kyle's idol. Yeah, getting divorced.

No, just threw her down mook Yeah, these boys just like they're just posting their blu-rays And they they it is a very very active subreddit. I wouldn't from a collector standpoint. I'd imagine that DVDs would be more No, no these are purists, and they will just yeah, they'll make custom covers It's a fun one as well. I want you to try some two-sentence horror. I'm reading some of the ones. These are so bad What do you got I laid paralyzed patiently waiting for the curse to be lifted by a true loves kiss When the prince came he tore away my dress with lust and I realized I was never meant to be saved That's really scary

She got raped Yeah, you that could be a one-sentence horror mm-hmm Just that I got one you got one. Yo, what's up Queen? Can I buy you a drink? That's pretty good I gripped the mysterious oozing condom in my left hand Let me work on that wait no well. I want you to finish it now. I gripped the mist I gripped the mist Hmm now action I gripped the mysterious oozing condom in my left hand and the pistol in my right hand No matter what she said We know no

Time this one. It made me really laugh really hard Barry loved to play in the snow, but so did the meatworm Like not bad But now it's become a meme, and I think people are just adding the meatworm to their two-sentence horror So the meatworm will make like cameos in other What the fuck is a meatworm? That eats meat yes This guy posted these fuckers banned me for this and the post he put in was I was walking to my local waffle house It was closed

Yeah, so you got to be careful you can't play too much these are these are good Yeah, they banned the word meatworm from the suffragettes I got caught in an awkward situation at home Yeah, the the partner thought I was watching porn But like what I was actually doing was significantly harder to explain Yeah, so I should have gone with porn, but I went the honest route which I don't recommend mm-hmm in any situation Yeah, I was I Was trying to find

oh No, I was trying Was taking a shit, and I was trying to snip it out jigglypuff saying jigglypuff from From n64 super smash right I would understand and I thought it would be an awesome text alert and so I went to YouTube and I searched Jigglypuff N64 Smash Bros sounds And I let it play too long and it just sounds like anime porn Really? Which is not great

Hold on, Mook Oh no Go to videos, you have to go to N64, yeah, okay That one will work That's what I wanted And then it just started doing this Oh Which is not great.

Yeah, that's, that's, that's 100% cartoon, anime. Yeah, keep playing it, I think there's like a, there's a moan shift. Yeah, like, okay, it wasn't great. So yeah, that's. But I just wanted that jiggly, I thought it would be like a great, it was perfect for a text alert,

it was like techy. No, it's not. Okay. Disastrous. That one jiggly right there, I thought would be an awesome text alert, because it almosty. No, it's not. Not at all. Disastrous. That one jiggly right there I thought would be an awesome text alert because it almost sounds just like a chirp right? Like a default phone chirp.

Any text alert is whack. The jigglypuff is. That's anime porn. Yeah. No, no. It's a moan. No, that was her falling asleep. Her shit is a moan.

No, it's her sleeping. It's her sleeping. But she's cute. Jigglypuff! That's what you wanted? No, no. Is a moan no it's her sleeping. It's her sleeping But she's cute That's what you wanted no no you scroll back right there just hit play That one because I think that sounds like a text every time you get a text you want that That's just what my phone's not on my rate. I thought it would be kind of cool. That's like a cool text alert. It's the perfect lang. It's the perfect sound.

Mm-mm. That would be fine. That's annoying as fuck. People that didn't know Pokemon would just think that was like, It sounds like a hundred gecks sample. That's cool. You would love that. As a song, not as a text alert. That's a fine text alert.

Every time you get a text. I don't get that many texts I Hope hearing that coming from the bathroom and the text you receive with that the first one is I can't do this That's what it would be. That's what it would be you know Nick cool. Nick is cool in French translates to fuck ass Yeah, did not know that Nick coo is fuck ass shut Shut up. The hell yeah, dude. Shut up. Did not know that. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it How do you spell it? Maybe I'm wrong. Try N-I-Q-U-E. This might be a little bit too advanced for Mookie. And then space, cu, C-U-L. Yeah, it's fuck out. Oh, god damn it.

Niki. I don't want people to start saying that to me. Oh, no, no. Wow, these guys, these people really like you. No no no no. Fuck ass. Oh fuck. What else you got? What do you got going on B? Who got embarrassed? One of you got embarrassed recently

You got fucking punked Kyle you got punked at Benihana. He had you flinching out of your skin Yeah, he did he had the egg what happened the chef came out at Benihana He's tick tick tick tick tick tick tick that's not that's not he's saying It was the sound of the spatula hitting the stovetop not his voice. He came out ting ting ting ting ting ting and Then he had the eggs and he had an egg on the spatula and he went and like Flung it at you, but it didn't leave the spatula and you almost flipped over in the back of your seat Mm-hmm. If you looked at predictive analytics, they would have told me to flinch, because instead of remain still,

because there is an extremely non-zero chance that that stainless steel spatula slips out of his hand and slices my Adam's apple like Fruit Ninja. That could have happened, so flinching was the right move. But it was the first trick he did, and you were punked, and you were mummin' koi for the rest of it. You were koi at Benihana. You belong in the fuckin' pond, dude.

That's the only thing that's been koi at Benihana. Jesus Christ. You were in the entryway, dude. You were settin' a vibe. That that did ruin the fucking all my momentum. I had shit lined up to talk about Yeah, you were you done. Look the key was like a dick about it, too No, I wouldn't even laugh or usually yeah, we were all laughing all of us It was a great your vert your immediate reaction was fantastic took a It was a great your vert your immediate reaction was fantastic took a you know

No, no, I didn't it to Fling it out my neck that he was pertaining to throw the egg at you. I don't know that you was just what he was using It'll slip one day what will slip me. Oh you think somebody will die no, I mean I'll die, but you know I'm surprised final destination't ever use Benihana That would be really cool. Yeah, that'd be a sweet one Being a crazy ways. Did you guys see the pager? Yeah, dude. Yeah, what is that? They still use pagers? Yeah Yeah, pretty popular around the world. Mm-hmm And they're I didn't know we had the tech like we not we but people had the tech just blow up certain things of Technology now phone stores are blowing up in Lebanon. I didn't know we had the tech like we not we but people had the tech just blow up certain things of technology Now phone stores are blowing up in Lebanon. I didn't know that. It's a little scary

It is fun. I was thinking like the end of the Kingsman if you could joke like what would be the like the most what? Technology could you take that would be the most effective? Like we'll be like the funniest we butt plugs butt plugs blowing up would be funny or like if you Wanted to like somehow trigger a bomb, it's like an Instagram comments. Is something like, I'm thinking of tech that would blow up, that would be like get rid of a certain group. Yeah.

Oh. Like butt plugs. Butt plugs. Butt plugs. Yeah, butt plugs. We could have a genocide for freaks. Yeah. A freak genocide.

Freak aside. Oh, that sounds like a like a sick album It does not really not really at all dude. I felt so good Like eating the benihana, but felt like pure shit afterwards. I felt like I was melting Yeah, and then like the stain like it's I had to get rid of my the pants the odor remains I the Birkenstocks I have a ruin it's resilient it is that it will absorb it is not is it a bat is it a horrible odor it's just you don't want to smell like that it's a horrible odor you know you don't want to smell like that but I was like I couldn't do

anything after eating that Benihana, and I was thinking Like Indian cuisine you have you eaten a lot of Indian your you have mm-hmm Have you eaten Indian like oh yeah those state like the basic Western the last thing you want to do is like move around Or the active it yeah, it takes you out. How are there all Indian people do is eat Indian food in India How do you fuck after Indian food? There's 1 billion of them? Yeah, I don't know how you like that makes no sense Like the answer there was a rapidly reproducing. Yes After like the most unfuckable meal it boggles the mind Yeah, that would be up there a A barbecue would be tough to fuck after. Yeah, but the Japanese birth rates are plummeting,

and their dinners are like sushi and light. That's the most fuckable. I know. So it just doesn't add up to me. They must have, they must have like habituated, or like, evolved. Their stomachs? Yeah.

Yeah. Because I've seen their street drinks. The Japanese street drinks or the Indian? Indian. Oh my God. There's Indian street drinks are more B than liquid. It's like, yeah, it's more bug. And then gum.

It's more bug, yeah. That was like, their milk shakes, it's like they're just scooping That's that's that's food. I haven't seen that's food wait so they move they make like smoothie. That's just a salt. That's a solid meal Okay, I Haven't seen that yet You haven't seen their their no their milkshakes I've seen the dudes that are like blue-collar workers that are very much alcoholics that make the most outlandish Cops for work. Oh, yeah, I have like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and like Zimbuka

That Pepto-Bismol This narrator is is he knows what he's doing is it a I it is but whoever typed it in okay They're drink on the streets of India the strawberry milkshake this refreshing treat costs an equivalent of five cents a cup Every morning before opening the vendor wheels in a cart filled with ice blocks He places the ice on a cloth that is covered in grime the AI voice makes it so fun grime then chips away at it into small fragments while flies cover the surround oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho- that the vendor pours the slush into a basin and adds his secret recipe strawberry juice to draw in customers He displays a bowl of fresh strawberries He blends some of the prepared juice with a few fresh strawberries in a juicer creating the illusion that the juice is freshly squeezed He then pours this concoction into the ice slush turning it a vibrant pink

The strawberry milkshake is now complete the vendor packages the pink slush into transparent bags Making the color even more enticing to customers the freshly made strawberry milkshake is now complete. The vendor packages the pink slush into transparent bags, making the color even more enticing to customers. The freshly made strawberry milkshake quickly sells out. Each batch is swiftly stirred and packed into bags ready for eager customers. Bag after bag of romantically pink strawberry milkshakes prepared." Okay, this one isn't too bad. Yeah, that looks delicious. There was other ones that looked like pureed mucus. There's the amount of like the there's like everybody knows about water displacement right? There has to be like a droplet of milkshake and then the rest of the bees fill up the

cups to make it look full. Oh god. This is the protein shake. The 10 cent Indian protein shake. And then they drink this down and they go create life. It's so hard to fathom, like the US is the third largest country. China and India have 1.4 billion people. They both have a billion more people than us. That is so many people Their small towns would be like the biggest city in this country

All right, anything else? That's it. All right. God bless