A New Untold Story - Freekust - A New Untold Story: Ep. 409

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

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Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. All right, we're rolling on everything and good to go with the clap. A new untold story episode. Can you clap again? Yeah. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told?

No, baby. It's a new untold story. Hey, isn't that story over told? Fuck no, baby! That's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh-baked untold story. A new untold story episode 409 we finally made it to 400. High haters. You said we wouldn't do it. Found your nose.

Yeah. It was all up in my business again If people always said we weren't gonna make to 409 Yeah, fuck them dear haters. I have so much more for you to be mad about just be patient Haters are cute little reminders that you're the shit Okay, Thank you, Kyle. 409. You have anything?

409 is obviously the amount of wins Paterno has. That's right. With the ass asterisk, the boy ass asterisk. The boy asterisk. The ever looming asterisk. I have some Joe Puff facts. You have facts? Yes. Hit me. Joe Paterno died in 2012. Jerry Sandusky wishes he would have died in 2012 year olds. Joe Paterno's wife is named Sue Paterno. You know who else should Sue Paterno you know who else should sue Paterno the parents of all those abused children

Joe Paterno is an anomaly while he was old Joe Paterno is an anomaly while he was old he also knew Joe Paterno was in the army His ability to motivate riled the corporals and sergeants and under his tutelage they were able in turn to touch young privates In 1989 Sports Illustrated named Joe Paterno Sportsman of the Year in 2009 Sporting News ranked him the 13th greatest coach of all time and 2011 pedophile sympathizer quarterly ranked him number one

pedophile sympathizer quarterly ranked him number one in 1993 Jerry Sandusky embarrassed admitted that he was a chubby chaser to Joe Paterno and that inspired Joe Paterno to also enter the Big Ten As our Joe pop facts, oh my god, yeah 409 I mean 409 is an insane amount of wins. Yeah For a college football program. Yeah It's also a cleaner and I think Beach Boys song 409. Mm-hmm cool To me imagine listening to Beach Boys now and just like this is rock and roll they were all in like they were labeled as they were Like the rock and roll. Yeah Were they singing?

California yeah, let's go. So now everybody's still good though Yeah, they have one of those metal album covers of all time and it doesn't make any sense that it's a Beach Boys album cover covers of all time and it doesn't make any sense that it's a Beach Boys album cover Not pet sounds that was one of the best albums of all time, but there's one Beach Boys album That's like it's all them holding surfboards striped shirts all very gay And then there's one that is just so fucking rad right there the guy on the horse with the spear dude whoa Yeah, which one right down. It's right left left., left. Oh my god. Yeah and then the album's called Surf's Up. A dying warrior on a horse. Surf's, that's Surf's Up. That's Surf's Up. All the rest of them are they're all gay and then they put out Surf's Up. Crazy. Is Beach Boys the pinnacle of white coolness. Yeah, that's right before

Yeah, that was the last time yeah, I think that was the top Like when white men were the coolest that was the coolest thing you could be yeah, and then it all came tumbling down I think the afro did it Afros came out. We just couldn't keep up yeah at that point was a straw that broke the camel's back That's right. It was after like the beach boys. I feel like white dudes were like we're gonna do banking Yeah, that's when you hang it up. Yeah, that's when you hang it up. You have any 409 facts. I'll nine facts There's got to be some boys that way 409 409. It's Galveston, Texas Listen, I'm not it is a coat love It's a nice town, but the beach is trash.

It's pure brown. I think the Mississippi dumps the mud into it. There's a bunch of, there's sea lice, tar balls. Like probably Robert Durst's neighbor's tongue. He did that, yeah. He is kind of the man. He chopped off a guy's head. He did do that. Have you seen his mug shot?

Now this is Robert Durst, not to be confused with Fred Durst. The deadest mug shot you will ever see. Oh my god. There's a show called The Jinx on Netflix. He admitted on the documentary that he did it. He forgot to take his mic off. He did a hot mic when he admitted on the documentary that he did it He forgot to take his mic when he was pissing and he's like, I can't believe they fucking got me

Like who talks like that? That is one of that's that's course he looks Younger or older than like that? 2,000 year old lady die mummy and look how low is his the most southern ears oh my god how low his ears are dude those ears are below his lymph nodes they're below his lips they extend below his mouth there's never been lower ears lowest ears congrats to Durst lowest ears Durst is um he also like you know how he first got caught no he got

caught shoplifting a chicken sandwich from Wegmans for five dollars and he had like five hundred dollars in his pocket he just decided to do it and then they found out that yeah he chopped off his neighbor's head yeah he lived in New York City he owned my dad's building he was a like a that he lived multi-millionaire real estate like scion I Only saw the hot mic thing other than that. I don't know much about him midday for shoplifting a sandwich in Bath, Pennsylvania that's sad Are you so bad bath, Pennsylvania? Bath, Pennsylvania. Yeah, Lehigh Valley, okay

How do you shoplift a sandwich? You try to put it in your pocket and you're like, oh fuck, I'm just trying to sneak out. Shoplifting a sandwich, I think you just eat it there. Yeah. He shoplifted a sandwich and a newspaper and a band-aid. One band-aid? Yes.

He was wearing a ski parka, a plaid shirt, cargo pants, and black shoes when he was busted That's some old that's something I think you would you've actually durst it a lot. I think not yes you have I don't wear plaid Yeah Yeah, no shot didn't but back to Penn State yeah This year the onward state MOOC if you heard of it? It's like their student publication. Yeah, yeah. Someone wrote, they were like,

Happy Joe-Paw Day. Here's 409 things I'll teach my future Penn State son. Oh. Oh! One, blue and white goes with everything. Oh my God. Okay. But like, why would you want to wear other teams colors? Wouldn't you just want to wear blue and white?

Yeah. Penn State is the last bastion of like creepy psychopaths who are fully integrated into society and even like our friend groups. Yeah. Yeah. It's always shocking. Like they're normal people. When they show their true colors.

They're almost like Disney adults a little bit. A little bit. Mm-hmm. you Altoona boys are a little bit different Beaver Stadium is the third most populous city in Pennsylvania on game days Okay, it's like all right. I'm sure Allentown is shaking Fucking Allentown hates to hear that Fucking Allentown hates to hear that. Do you there's so have you been to like a like a Penn State game or like gathering? No. Oh, yeah. I've been to for the college football show. We had like we had one of the shows at a frat house.

It's like an uncomfortable amount of pride. Yeah, it's like I'm proud of myself convention. It's like a cult. Yeah. So you'll be tailgating when it's time to like go into the stadium. You'll see like a group of 40 year old dudes like huddle up and be like let's make history and like tap each other Yeah, they're always at a game. They're like we're gonna fuck up some of these fucking pussy ass Terrapin fans They're so weird yeah, they're're so weird. I wanna go. Like Connor Griffin's a great guy.

Weird. But when he gets into Penn State mode, low. We were with Connor Griffin on a Penn State game. We were in Beaverton, Oregon with him. And he has to have McDonald's on a high seat every morning. That's the shit they're on. He has a pregame routine. Yes.

He's just the tip of the iceberg too. There's some actual. I know. I know A&M gets a lot of shit for being culty It's yeah, but they're like they're like weird southerners like these people like are normal presenting You could be sitting right next to one and we're not know until it's too late And they run the whole spectrum like you have the Connor Griffin's and the Jeff Lowe's so you have these nerds and then it runs All the way down to like the most the gender the Rones

Like the Philly Penn State fans are the ones who like want to beat up the other fans yeah they'll beat up like a bird or an animal I they do say before they go tailgate like let's be legends either we're either gonna get some pussy or fuck up some pussies you're 35 why are you blue and white does go with everything. It's blue and white. Yeah, that's easy. It's dark Navy. And I don't think there's anything that doesn't go with that.

They're like Locusts in New York to the Penn State. Yeah, yeah, sure are. They penetrate every facet of society in New York. It's a good school, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy because everybody went there. So many people go there. They're so proud And some people and they love late don't they love like we're philanthropists

Me watch me give yeah me and my friends danced all fucking night Yeah, you guys wouldn't understand or they stand 48 hours. They stand cool. It's like It's an event. It's a production mm-hmm before it's yeah just donate and I give it don't say word I give geez in silence like foreign champagne I'm trying to think of this word with a silent G like you got me with a silent G. I think you got me. Yeah, uh... No.

Got- I'm out. Yeah. Never got- Yeah. Diaphragm. Thanks. Yeah. That just doesn't work like foreign champagne. Alright bro- hahahaha I combined boys and girls game time do you know you can get tickets to Missy Elliott for how much how much is Missy right now fifty seven dollars oh my god is she with Busta as well she's an icon

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Download the game time app today last-minute It's tickets lowest prices guaranteed do it What thinking about Sandusky like the city or no the dude? Yeah, so it came out that that paterno There's like incriminating increasing amounts of incriminating evidence. I think it was beyond evidence He was told like by one of the boys somebody saw walked in I was like yeah His finger was in my rectum. He was like yeah enough of that. It's football season

There's more important things Dusky must have been in his bag with the X's and O's he must have been so good like hugs and kisses Both sets. Oh my God. I wanna do a live show in the vacant area where the statue used to be. You've done something with that before. It was a place, I've talked about it a lot.

There's just pictures there, I think it's funny. It's just a, it's a perfect spot for a statue. They were they were good. They're right about that. Yeah, I don't know if they They took it down or the statue. I don't know if it still exists or if they melted it down What do they call that smelting smelting smelting? Yeah, I think you made a little Jewish I did They smelted him down Jewish I did they smelted him down I could smelted Joe I could smelted to me and I don't know be ironic if they like melted him down and they like used the gold for fillings which is what he was like supporting when he was alive yeah if they were used for boy fillings or handcuffs either or golden handcuffs that would be a them versus like Georgia that should be the trophy

The golden handcuffs. Yeah, so I was reading about Penn State when he was coached like there was one year where there were a hundred and sixty Eight arrests of players that year. Oh, they were getting arrested like that. Oh, yes For what I think I don't know. I think DUIs are pretty popular amongst college football players. Yeah all the rage Yeah, it was really it was tons Yeah, see the sex abuse scandal buries everything else. That's to a player Yeah, that's good math. Yeah Yeah, I bet you some guys had four or five. Yeah, maybe some smaller ones We don't talk about

Hmm. I was reminded of something When I was I've been playing I'd Rudy over and Marash for PNS 2 night, so it was Pino and PS 2 and We were playing SSX 3 which is a snowboarding game by EA Sports big and it reminded me of another EA Sports Big game I used to play Madden no no it was one that We have a close bond with. Me and you? Everybody from our town.

The motorcycle game. The motocross game. Freak style. Freak style came to town for a while. So freak style, for those that don't know, it was like a motor, a dirt bike game, motocross game. And it was in set and wheeling? The second level, crust belt, was in wheel game. And it was set in Wheeling? The second level, Crust Belt, was in Wheeling.

So they had their... Crust Belt? Crust Belt. Wait, it was just one level in Wheeling? Yeah. The whole team came to town for like a month. Well, they were only supposed to, yeah, they were coming for a month.

It was the biggest deal. Wait, what do you mean by team? Like the developers? The developers, some of the, they had like real motocross guys who were in the game, I guess who can Ryan deegan Yeah, some dude in the metal militia. I remember it was in 2002. I was like fucking eight thousand Alicia rings might have been 2001 was right, but I think it was right before

9-eleven I remember the Mars Because they were going to call it so it was Freak style Instead of freestyle and their whole thing was putting freak in front of things and they were going to call it, so it was Freakstyle instead of Freestyle and their whole thing was putting Freak in front of things And they were going to come in October and call it obviously Freaktober But they came early, they were ahead, so they had to shuffle things, do you remember? Did they try to make like a portmanteau? Like freaky aug- it was August Yeah, they came in August Was it Freakest? It was August. Yeah, they came in August did they? Was it freak us freak us

The world our cities like tourism committee loved doing like they were so horrible month Portmanteau name they love portmanteau, but they could never quite know Black history where he was their closest That actually sounded what What was that for? For Black History Month in February. It was Black history... Like, the Punchkey Donut had a month. Did you guys ever have punchkeys?

We had a bunch of Polish people on every town. They made these donuts. What month was that? I forget. That didn't work. And they tried calling Pride Month prune. Yeah. Just say Pride Month. Just not fucking prune. I thought you were going Pride Month prune. Just say Pride Month.

Just not fucking prune. I thought you were gonna say poon. Yeah, they were always off with their scheduling. Dude, the cover for this game is insane. It's sweet. Freestyle. But they were there forever. They were there for a month, like, touring and promoting, like, hey, touring and promoting,

like, hey, we're using your city as a level. Little do we know, it would be called Crust Belt. But like, it was a, that was a sick game. They were trying to like, scout out the area. To try to figure out like, where to do it level. They were creepy. I know that they were like, they were going to way too many things.

Like, you don't have to be at the pool. Dude. They were at the pool. Dude. They were at the pool all tatted. They were always like. The flattest brims of hats I've ever seen. We didn't get, like, they were like fucking my sister, who's like only four years older, but not her.

Her classmates. They were fucking like your sister. No, they were fucking like her classmates. I remember that. So I was like in third grade, so. My babysitter, I won't say her last name Lindsay fucked a dev One of the devs and it was the guy I remember I

Remember because it was the guy she bragged About how the guy she fucked program it around the unlimited freak style mode like you would like you'd burn up freak points and You that would enter freak style and so she fucked the dev that wrote the code for like the cheat code the cheat code I remember he just made the cheat code Yeah, the cheat code was all freak all Freek and it gave you unlimited freak style and like she would always try to work that into conversation, too The girls are so proud

I don't even know what the team of dudes who they could have been I guess the dev team Yeah, I was the dev team those I'm like motorcycle or motocross dude those guys were there for a couple days They were calling the girls there. They're like, let's get some track snacks and some thumper bunnies It was a sexually charged era. Yeah, I was bootylicious by Destiny's Child just came out Webster just put it in his book Where any locals pissed off that these guys were like no we really was awesome We as a kid I was like these guys are for PlayStation 2 PlayStation 2 is coming to town because it was new and they were like this game is gonna be like GTA 3 But with only dirt bikes. Yeah, and no weapons and they were like and game is gonna be like GTA 3 but with only dirt bikes Yeah, and no weapons and they were like and you guys have everywhere are getting yeah

We were really proud about that the mayor did something with it Because my dad was the city manager at the time and so the mayor did like this they had like a busy as oh They like they traveled in a bus of sorts. I forgot a while I remember a bus they had a I forget what it was. I don't remember. The freak bus? They had a freak bus probably. But they had like, they would have events and they would have some guys riding dirt bikes.

I think the one guy rode on the suspension bridge. They had like a food stand as well. And they would like have concessions, but they had like freak dogs, which were the hot dogs. And they had freak corn, which was street corn, but they also had popcorn, but they already use popcorn So they had to call it what what they called the pop yeah, so freak corn was the street corn which was just We're just corn pretty much But then they also had popcorn, but they already use free card that

They called a pop freak It was horrible. It was fucking horrible, but yeah, it was that was like the The happiest time of my life that era so the game looks fucking sick sick Code red just came out and do code red. Oh, it was a really extreme time It was a really extreme time do code red coming out in West, Virginia It was like Mesopotamia getting irrigation it was the code red was life-changing kids were riding around on mongies sipping and

just chugging code red by the leader yeah like we're still geopolitically optimistic yeah it was it was this was a month before 9-eleven So some other stupid events, but you are right it was an extreme time like grime remember grind the movie Yeah, grind came out all the oh three that that movie rules That movie's fucking you know do my friend invited me to see ollie, and I thought it was about skateboarding It was about the fucking boxer boxer. The daughter, wasn't it? It wasn't about her. It was about Layla. Was it about Layla? I think it was a chick flick.

It was an extreme time. And I remember as a kid who was bad at sports, I figured I just like, oh, maybe like regular sports aren't for me. You try to get into dirt bikes even harder. Yeah, way harder. I went and I was going to buy a used dirt bike and I

Went and I was too afraid to sit on it and we went home We drove out to a farm to buy a used dirt bike I was too afraid to sit on it my dad was like if you don't fucking sit on it I'm not buying it so I got back in the car Yeah, you didn't even touch the throttle. No, did you have a dirt bike? No, they're so Terrifying yes, you're like so many kids were dying on dirt bikes and ATVs. ATVs especially, yeah. First time I rode one, I drove straight into a bush.

It's impossibly hard, because I think it's so sensitive. Well, yeah, the whiskey throttle is a very real thing. What is that? Oh, you keep on pulling back and running behind it. Yeah, you're not used to the throttle being a pull, because you're so used to cars being a push. So you pull it, and then it goes faster than you than you think so you lean back and then you panic and you don't You kind of accelerate in your panic and then you just

Went straight in my neighbor's bush. Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah, that's the best case scenario. Yeah We have a bar stool camp coming up and I heard the rumor. There's that you weren't invited Kyle Well, that's a rumor because I haven't that. I was talking downstairs and they were saying all the people that couldn't go because of maybe some tweets and stuff like that. And it's sponsored by Pepsi. And the only thing that tied you to Pepsi. I am banned, I guess I can say this.

I can't do Pepsi sponsored videos. Why? So Donny's What's for Lunch is sponsored by Pepsi and I can't do it solo. Why can't you? Have to fucking I'm too naughty for soda dude. Are you sure? That's why do you know why track record of? Like being a little vulgar what yeah, I mean you do have the famous quote of you can't be raped if you just sit down

Yeah, and that's that got us a meeting with a former CEO here. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And it was like busted, like a couple months later. Yeah, and I remember the DM, I remember the DM, she was just like, I believed you. Yeah, that was the whole reason she was upset.

Yeah. Because it happened. I was like, oh my God. Just like, if this happened just two years later maybe why I think people have put together online a tick-tock you did not a tick-tock a vine you did oh yes wonder if that's it search search KB KB no swag vine Pepsi just search KB Pepsi. KB no swag Vaughn Pepsi. To search KB Pepsi. I tweeted a photoshopped version of it once.

I remember. Not that. Go to images. Click that. Click the first link. Yeah that's blurred. Oh it's blurred. Yeah Pepsi Pots.

Oh it's with the truth. Truly. Uh oh. No no no. I have another version of it. Did you shrink the bottle? Is when uh yeah. Someone-uh. No, no, no. I have another version of it. Did you shrink the bottle? Is when not yet. Someone else did.

I did. Oh, is that you? Yeah. Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, click that top link, dude. Open, open, open. Up. Right.

Dude, no. No, it says open. Oh. Woo! Yeah. Do you think Pepsi maybe didn't like that? That could be it. Yeah. Does that video exist anymore?

No. It never existed. Just that screenshot. That video did exist. How many likes? 12. 22. 22! It's pretty good. Yeah. Maybe that's why.

So this was never a video. If that Pepsi if that wasn't there would your asshole be seen? Yeah, cuz I remember I was perched up on that dresser behind me like a poison dart frog Yeah, right, and I think that's a high dresser. Yeah, I had to film with my drop down without your dick being seen I forget what I did. I feel like you wouldn't see your whole I know I was home alone I waited to my parents left how old were you? 21 Not 16 What was the premise of this?

His vines were what six oh there was no premises back then it was like I'm naked and That's that's the punch line. How many takes was this? So many, so, so many. Cause I didn't have wifi so I had to film it with an iPad using my toe. Cause you had to press the button on Vine. Your legs are really, they don't look real.

Yeah your leg goes way too far in your drawing. Yeah it looks like my leg is about to attach to my ball sack Yeah, you're there's no feature. What's going on? It looks like it has a filter on it. Is it fake? How'd you do this? You look like the bottom half of you looks like the same like dimensions like a praying mantis. It's very strange yeah, it looks like you have like a Different like a second torso. Yeah, it looks like you have like a a different, like a second torso. Yeah. That's weird. Wait, so what was the premise of the video? Again, it was like, I'm naked.

That place. And I was like... So is this why, and is it like you film this what year? 2014? The domino effect is now you can't cook with chef Donny because of that all right Pepsi their play I wonder how

this coke okay you've dabbled with that too what was that Vegas Vegas? Oh right. But like that kind of pisses me off that I can do it. I don't think, I'm allowed to go to this camping trip. No, but like I can't, I cook with Chef DeHoney oft. I know. What do I have to do? I don't know, what would you, get your tongue pierced?

That's all I can think of. Have I said everything you've said? And more. Yeah. You get away with a lot. I wonder why. I think it's because I enunciate it. Yeah. That might be it. It sounds more sophisticated. He's being retarded. Look over there at my coworker, my retarded co-worker it works yeah I guess so you get away with like being really mean to people sometimes sure do it's so funny hmm I do feel bad sometimes when other if like someone at

said it and it wasn't funny but you the same message like it would be oh my god he's a horrible asshole yeah now I get to cook now I get to cook mm-hmm wait was that another boy baseball picture you used? I was for those just your favorite pictures of you. I thought I was I thought I was cool Using a boy baseball that looks cool and cute Yeah, and so like people would be like this. He's probably in a that was a drought. Yeah. Yeah I've been down that any girls that you see back They were like, oh I look I look hot as a child. This will yeah

I mean you probably weren't getting in a lot of like girl interaction talking to like a little boy on Social no that didn't work Shockingly did not work Sometimes it did and I was a you're weird Yeah Sometimes it did and I was like, you're weird. Yeah. Reversed it on him. A new untold story sponsored by BetterHelp. When your schedule's packed with kids activities, big work projects and more,

it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. Have you ever benefited from therapy, Kyle? No, but I know I would. Yeah, yeah. I've never tried, yeah. And it's on my to-do list.

Dude, I use better help, but I Don't I don't want to go somewhere. I don't want to facetime so I text So I'm messing up way better. Oh my I will I in person shy as a clam but When I'm messaging I'm open like an orchid or a clam Flexible and suited to your schedule just felt the brief questionnaire get mass match with a licensed therapist switch therapists anytime for no additional Charge and they won't be offended just they just poop. I'm switching Never skip therapy day with better help visit better help comm slashcom slash new today, just new, today, to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash new, N-E-W.

Dude, speaking of old social media, I've been so back on Facebook. It does have the best stuff. I've been following pages of like non-English speaking accounts that use like AI images to fool their dumb natives. I've seen some with like the obviously fake marine women. Yeah, like busty high shoulders.

Right, like prayers for- Middle-aged dudes love it. Mook, I just sent you my new favorite account on Facebook. If you want to contact me, I'll be on Facebook if you want to contact me I'll be on Facebook I love how like impossibly busty shoulder or soldiers has become like a huge titted soldiers yeah conservative middle-aged dudes love that yes and they're Asian too it's like colliding like Asian US Marines with a bus I found is WWE King and Queen WWE King and Queen what is that baby? This is a sensation. Hold on a sensation Look, it's I'm reading it

But this is a sensation the boy sang such a song that Simon couldn't speak he went up on stage to kiss the boy I'm more who is that boy? That's AI? That's the best thing I've ever seen. I can't, that's something's not computing. That is so fucking funny. That's fake boy, right? Yes. That's a baby's face.

And I also fall on account, who's the Mee-go that's dead? Offset? Takeoff? Takeoff? It's Stewie Griffin with the other two living Mee-gos like always like waving and giving a sentimental message to angel takeoff, but in Family Guy animation That's unreal. I think that for that baby image. It looks like they took Gabriel Iglesias and Come down the pants are hilarious. That's a funny. Dude. It's a funny dude. I want to meet him, but he's a sensation He's saying Simon saw him singing so oh he had to meet him, but he's a sensation. He sang Simon saw him singing so he had to kiss him

It's Simon's got small hands. It's Yeah, look at the baby baby, dude Those jeans are kind of nice. They're kind of cool. They're kind of cool. Yeah, that's what I've been on though my Facebook shit Yeah, I gotta get on something. I've been in a material drought. What do you mean? Well, I'm not like you consume but I know I need like material cuz I don't do anything You don't do anything the other day. I was like I need material to talk about so I just went on a walk And what did you get from the wall? I saw like a really pale dude in a bucket hat and I'm like

Hmm. I did a whole segment on albinism. Like a Indian dude with albinism. Okay. Just looked white. Okay, so what's- And you're not laughing, because that was the peak of the segment. Yeah.

An Indian dude with albinism. Yeah. That was it. That has legs? Yeah, I don't know. What did you have with it? Nothing, dude. I needed experience more I need to put myself in uncomfortable positions. All right. I need to like do this. Are you nervous for this live show? I am so nervous. Yeah, are you gonna black out? I hope not. Is there a chance? No, I will

Yeah, you hate doing these and like so we're like out like twice over for the last couple We are in a group chat prepping the show and everything we pitch you just respond. Maybe we should just cancel Yeah But I know that was I'm excited. He said the only option was to cancel. Yeah, there's one time. We're just like grumpy Oh shit. Yeah, you're grumpy. I was the cancer. Yeah there was one time we were just like, oh shit, you were grumpy. I don't know but I prep some stuff so I'm more optimistic. Okay, that's good. And it's like, every time I do these like the people there are fantastic. Yeah they're very nice. They're so nice and cool. You don't get nervous do you? Yes. I'm sure stand-up helps though. No I get, oh no. I don't think you do. I get very nervous. My voice trembles the entire, I'm sure stand-up helps though. No, I get down. I don't think you do

I get very nervous you my voice trembles the entire time. I'm doing stand-up You see but you're on Immediately off the gates maybe no, I'm not I'm not you carry those thanks You carry like Sarah Jessica She played Carrie and sex and the City. You Carrie. Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty good.

That was better than Albino Indian. That is what I'm saying. I think you can have some content with that. I think you can. No, I don't think I know. You haven't gone out the past few weekends, have you? No. Did you at least a VR?

Yeah, okay any good finds in that Just watching like West Virginia high school football games on big YouTube On big YouTube. Yeah, what you call it when it's in VR. It's huge Y'all you guys gotta check out big YouTube you oh you're watching that shit., you gotta check out big YouTube. It's from the vantage point yours in the stands No, it's just a big screen Dude I was streaming with Rudy yesterday and Somebody commented like hey Rudy. I saw you followed this girl and

Rudy was she also streams occasionally she she is what you'd expect Rudy to Follow Mm-hmm and Rudy was like like yeah I actually DM'd her And then Rudy, you Hush, he showed me the DM I guess she tweeted that she was going to start streaming And so Rudy sent her Own tweet to her

And he said, no You know I'm literally a streamer right? I didn't say it like that Rudy! I didn't say it like that It's only a little bit It's only a little bit better. It's so bad. This is such a fucking airball It's crazy. I said, you know, I literally stream right I didn't say a Little bit better, you know, I literally scream right. Um, okay It's a swing in a minute. What were you expecting to get back? Wait, wait

it's a very it's I expecting to get back. Wait, wait. It's a very, I overestimated my value. Yeah, because what did she say back? That implies to me that you've already developed a rapport with her. I had not. That was your first. And I thought we did. Have you ever spoke to her?

But what do you mean you thought? You haven't spoken to her, but your message is like, hey, I'm right here, we've been talking. Yeah, what are you thinking? I just assumed that she knew that based on my social media. But why do you think she didn't know that? Because she responded.

She responded and said, I did not. And I said, awesome, tight. No, you just said tight. I mean, at that point, I knew what I had done um Damn, you know I literally stream. Yeah, if you need any help with the setup. Yeah, my lady I know you're doing literally literally is so I look back on it. You were like you you try to come off as like offended um You know I welcome to the club I Look back on me know and I don't even recognize. Trying to think what you could have said.

How many days ago was that? Oh, it was months ago. Oh, okay. I look back on that and I don't even recognize what could have gone through my head for that to be a good idea. But also, yeah, that's what dudes do. Part of me is grateful because usually I'm too timid.

So just to put it out there if you're a woman That's gonna start streaming check in with you first Yeah, the funniest part is that I'm notoriously bad with PCs that you don't stream very often and you suck at video games Yeah, so you're technologically inept you suck at gaming. Yeah The only and you scream like once a month the The only qualifying factor is that I do stream. You do. I do the you have a yeah. You have an account. Yes, I have an account. Uh huh.

It was just a remark. I I I'm actually grateful for it because I funny you started streaming without letting me know. As you know, I literally do the same. I'd be. Oh, I couldn't help but notice, but I'd be remiss if someone didn't go. What did she respond exactly? I just she just so dry. I did not And is she how's she doing

Probably more I don't know doing good probably more better not were you just flying too close to the Sun like your Success rate has been so high. You're like, I don't have to put like real effort into this message. No, no, no No, I don't you're a literal streamer should impress no woman Yeah, as opposed to what the evidence would suggest that yeah No, I do not have a high six. I don't do well when I have to try I Don't do well on the offense Okay, you're I have to I have to I have to lay traps you have to like Subconsciously summon and conjure and I have to contra them. I have to summon them

Black mage. Yeah, but when I when I kick in the door, it's like. You flirt like Medea Warlock. Yeah. You have to summon a familiar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. I have to be the one being sieged. I can't siege.

Warlocks are a funny term for big tits. Because Warlocks have nothing in common with that. I don't know how that came to be. What is a Warlock? A Warlock is a. That's all super bad. Is that that a person place or thing it's a profession oh yeah but it's it's a summoning wizard while mages usually work in the arcane fire elemental a warlock is a summons beasts you know I literally cast spells right?

Yeah, that's from super bad. I think that's where it came from yeah Yeah, the girl I got a breast reduction. Yeah, I don't I don't like breast euphemisms or whatever that's called One of your best jokes was I think you were calling them were you calling big tits bang theories What were you calling big tits? Greek weddings. Yeah, big fats. Yeah, yeah. Greek weddings. But I don't like when dudes are like, she's got like sweater puppies. Yeah.

Yeah. She's got a front porch. Yeah. A front, I've never heard that. What about slappers? Ooh, never heard that one. Slappers is kind of funny. Heavy bags, sandbags.

Yeah. Those are all just right in your face I think I think a more tasteful I Came across one on Twitter the other day where someone referred to him as big rig haulers. Yeah, that's good Yeah, it's getting creative one one of my friends in college used to call like a girl had a nice ass He would call it a turd cutter. That's not only De-sexualizes and then he sexualized once you bring in poop. I really hated that yeah, I had a buddy called shit cutter

Yeah, I hated that hated that hated that I also I don't know how you guys use your asshole I don't use it to cut typically I let it finish. I let it just go all out Yeah, yeah, I'm cutting anything definitely more globby. Yeah What that's like a Pittsburgh dude thing what? Yeah, yeah, I'm cutting anything definitely more globby. Yeah That's like a Pittsburgh dude thing what? Like those aggressive violent terms for oh, yeah Yeah, yeah Oh, man, I'm excited to see black out tomorrow Kyle Last time we did a live show you blacked out before mic check and you were singing the fray under the microphone

Oh, that was like a weird area of I I'm blacked out, but I'm so nervous And I was just panicked and sang the fray is that what you do when you're panicked I guess You fray yeah, you get afraid mm-hmm. Oh I hate it when Kyle's afraid. Oh, here it is. Oh, yeah, look at the fuck. Which, look, how fucked. Oh, this is another one.

Sorry, I'm just practicing. It's not about, we're not gonna do it. You found me, you found me. That's pure panic. That's you panicked? It's not like I'm so. That's you being the center of attention. No, it's not like I'm so comfortable. I can you being the center of a no. It's not like I'm so comfortable I

Can sing freely because I have no care in the world that was like I am in panic mode And if I don't do this right now, I will be completely mute on stage More like the posture Look fat as fuck Fuck That's you nervous that's me as nervous as a man can be One more how'd you get these wait these are from your phone What's is that? Did I say single doesn't mean I'm looking for somebody? Yeah. Is that a Asherah?

I don't know. That's when you know. That's when you know if I start singing Asherah. I love college, yeah. Yeah. You were singing I love college. That's how you know you're the most nervous. Yeah, I hate college oh I hate college by Sammy Sammy out of That was the Boston live show tomato gate oh Yeah, let's hope that doesn't happen again. I got reamed out by the manager

Yeah, that was when you first started and we saw you getting reamed out so we ran up to the hotel room We had to get the fuck out of there You handled it. Well, yeah, you know it real well All right eaters warmer sunny By eaters, do you mean every human? But you know people who want to actually enjoy, foodies, people who want to enjoy their meals, it's time to fuel up with factors. No prep, no mess meals.

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want to start working out. Diet time. Just make that up off Dome? Yeah, with 35 different meals and more than 60 add-ons. That's like every add-on possible. Every week you'll always have new flavors to explore so you can crush your wellness goals with dietitian-approved meals and ingredients that you can trust. Restaurant quality meals, by the way, head to factormeals.com slash KB50 to get 50% off your first box, plus 20% off your next month. Kyle, I was enamored by when you brought up Lone's Wigger. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people respect him.

He's like one of the best ever. Have you ever heard about, there's a few more of there's a few more. There's a few wigger athletes Like The name Yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about Jason Williams They say he has a pass though They say he has a pass though Jason Williams, yeah, white chocolate. Yeah, he transcended I think there was a guy that played for like an Akron NBA team when they had him, but there's a guy that

He was a Dutch footballer named Wiggert Von Dahlen you need to see where he's from move. Can you Google him for me? Yeah, Wiggert Von Dahlen Yeah, Like a soccer player? A Dutch footballer so I could probably? D-A-A-L-E-N? Yeah there he is. Look where he's from. I can't see. What does it say? Harlem Netherlands. Well I'll be.

Wigger. Damn. They were doing it way back in the day. Yeah. Go to Harlem Netherlands. Wow. Looks just like it. Looks just like it. There's also the Wigger River a lot of one in what? Harlem Netherlands How to pop a wheelies on the bicycle

Is that too racist Pop a wheelie, but there's also a cool the the Wigger River What is it Faygo? Where's that the Wigger Valley? In Switzerland yeah, oh Yeah, that's probably like ground zero for it. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a tributary river. We should just do the tour. You could go to, could you go to Harlem and here in the same day? Harlem. Harlem is in where? Where was it? I forget where Harlem was. The Netherlands. Netherlands? Yeah, you could do that.

Yeah, you could do that. You could definitely do that. We should do a little road trip Might as well Agree, we might want to fly that's a far. Yeah, but we'll rent a car there far dry No, we should get BMX bikes if we're really gonna do it. Let's do it. Yeah Harlem Netherlands, home of Wigert van Dahlen. Who's the Akron? Akron had a football team? A basketball team. Who was that? They were like the the gold something the wingtip something. They were gold teeth. I forget what they were. forget what they were I'm gonna look it up

Search the Akron MBA team MOOC They had a guy The Goodyear Wingfoots What yeah, that's too many names Akron Goodyear Wingfoots. Yeah, it's like the Las Vegas Golden Knights Were they sponsored by the tire company probably who made rubber for the shoes And then the Oshkosh all-stars They used to do that with hug youth hockey teams There was like Little Caesars was really good and they were to sponsor by little see oh, yeah It was sick our baseball team instead of our last names it had business names yours did yours had your last name

No, we had nothing not even a number you didn't have numbers That's printing No, I think um I was radio Shaq one year as my like where my last name was supposed to be and then DeFelice pizza It's a lot of pizza places. Yeah Pizza and tires bell tire was another really good hockey team was always Michigan. They were really into the sponsorships. Yeah.

I remember we almost had Chipotle and we were really pushing for that. Didn't pan out. Did you guys have to like ring bells in your baseball uniform to get money for your teams? Yeah. We'd stand outside a Rite Aid. I did it in front of Radio Shack.

Yeah. Yeah, and they made you beg before you could play baseball. Yeah. That's... Oh dude, I was out on Saturday with Hank after after the Aaron water show. You you know, yeah, I was at Hank's place. You Irish. Yeah. Oh, my God. His place. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was like a Swedish seascape.

Yeah, it was like beautiful. Yeah. A panoramic view of the of the lake it That kid's gonna be alright. It looks how like can't see any of these taste. Yeah, you can't You can't see any of the light. All right. What does your apartment? What food comparison? What does your apartment taste like? What is it? It looks like? Like a maraschino cherry dipped in like dark chocolate, that's not good. No. I hate maraschino Wait you hate your apartment? No, I like it. It's too white

It's like I'm drowning in white, but Hank's place is so nice I guess I expect it because he's like to be like part of my take II. Yeah, I get like a have like a bowling alley arcade feel it didn't like the scent of like Barbecue flavor twists, but it was perfect Yeah, yeah, I'm trying. I think my house would be Um It's like you're a charcuterie board. I was thinking cantaloupe balls with Fruit dip. Yeah, the aesthetic or the just the feel. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I get that vibe from you

Like older stuff. Mm-hmm, you know But what tasteful mine? I don't even know what mine because I'm still getting used to it Well, yours is all cardboard boxes and it will be for the next months. Yeah, I think it mine would be like Like a turkey sandwich, but with like an Asiago spread on it, but you dropped it once right But you still are fine eating it because you pay too much for yeah instead of using lettuce it has arugula, but it's not fresh arugula is a Tooth crevice magnet. Oh, it's almost designed for that. Yeah, it's almost designed for you're a salad tooth guy I'll see more. I'll see a lot with salad teeth. I almost I think you're almost flaunting that you ate healthily

And I think you do it for attention Mm-hmm, that's that's ridiculous I saw I'm looking up like a tutorial on how to Masculinely pick up your luggage at the airport Rudy when you drop it And he was he looks at like masculine tactics to like Sit down at dinner Matt This is who is the guy who was the guy you were looking at this is like how to let the room know you're an alpha This is crazy what you're doing right now. I'm gonna send it to you mook

No, you're an alpha. This is crazy. What you're doing right now. I'm gonna send it to you mook While you're doing that do you see a JVM up Twitter today Kyle Yes, it's the worst Do you see James Charles butthole? What it's out. I'm gonna make a guess. Bleached. I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I just wonder if Kyle had a different algo hole. I'm pretty sure his butthole leaked. I can never get comfy in this chair.

It's tough. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I don't know how to sit. My body hurts all the time. All the time. You're like decomposing.

Yep. Falling apart. Just sick all the time. Yeah I'm always throwing up. So yeah, I threw up last night and I before that's bad It's bad. It'll get better. I don't know man. I guess it's too late for me. It's too late for me You're drinking like chia clumps. I mean I'm having chia seeds every morning. It's like an internal shower. That's what they say But you don't feel any like difference. You're just like I this might be working I'm having chia seeds every morning. It's like an internal shower, is what they say. But you don't feel any difference. You're just like, this might be working.

Every time I have to go to the bathroom now, it's a dead sprint. That's about it. That's about it. But I'm like, I'm shitting out things that have been off the market for years that have just been stuck in my body. I shat out Yogo's the other day.

I was like, what the fuck? Those yogos and... Sprite remix. I shit out a sprite remix and yogos and grips, those small little fucking chips. It was unbelievable. Sour Altoids. Oh my, yeah.

That was in the Code Red Era those are so good the sour candies used to really fuck you up. Yeah, we're going blood. Yes Those things were awesome Candies used to be a challenge. Mm-hmm. I Don't even know what the candy games like now I'm it out. I think it's pretty basic. I don't know What's the newest candy on the market? I don't know if those nerds gummy clusters Those are like Americans. I've been way behind those are incredible The Japanese are blowing us out of the water I think in that regard what's cup of crazy Yeah, don't mind

I'm party city chopsticks. Ah is the Japanese candy good or just unique? So I live next to a foreign candy shop. I went and spent $90 on candy. I thought it would be like a fun little date night thing. Everything I had was disgusting. Yeah, it's like, here, you gotta try this tree-flavored Kit Kat. I got a leaf-flavored sucker. I got a leaf sucker. The chocolate is perfect.

Yeah, all the Kit Kats they're trying and there's like a marinara KitKat yeah Japanese yeah I feel like you every one of your apartments somehow some way was is within a mile of some sort of Japanese or Chinese store by design yeah by design you're that guy it's a beautiful culture it is safe it is everybody takes their garbage home there's no garbage cans pretty cool Every time there's a murderer rocks the country to the core if this live. Yeah, if this live stream goes Well, we should our next one should be in Japan Or yeah, yeah or Harlem ago there or which one double-a yeah, yeah, yeah, you haven't made it's a single way yet

double-a Harlem Anything else Yeah, I agree. Yeah, you haven't made it to single A yet. That's double A Harlem. Anything else? I'm gonna stop, take those no? No, I got nothing. Alright, God bless.