A New Untold Story - Fro/Yo! - A New Untold Story: Ep. 407

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

on ice and a fro yo stand Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). FitBod - Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at https://Fitbod.me/ANUS.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Yeah, we're rolling on everything whenever you want to get started with the clap. You mean you're exactly reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new, baked, untold story episode 507 no no no no no no for for 11

Amber's the color of my energy now 407 47 wait Bear with me while I struggle to breathe and if you can't bear with me if it's too annoying then it will a Probably kill me or force me to quit podcasting so it won't be too long lasting Do we want do we should we just have mook cut out all of your inhales on the episode? No, cuz I'm holding myself accountable trying to breathe better just chocolate rain it and pull your head away from the microphone Yeah, I can do that. Topical joke by me.

Way to go, Nick. Yeah, are you good? Yeah, I think I'm good. I think I'm just a pussy. You have anxiety. I think I do. And when I try to memorize lines, it's a nightmare. But that's-

I just have to try to naturally converse. I know. So I'm gonna try to naturally converse. I know So I'm gonna try to naturally converse today, you know in a football game. There's like the first how many drives are planned? Like first 20 plays first 20 plays. Yeah, what how many sentences into a conversation? Do you have planned? Too much. It's not sustainable. It makes me just a mess mental mess We hung out this weekend and your goodbye to me at the end of the night Sounded scripted. What did I say? Thank you for all the fun things we did Yeah, it was an incredible play And then you left

I did yeah, so yeah, I that's the worst part like I will script. And then you left. I did, yeah. So yeah, that's the worst part. I will script by introductions to people. And you just can't do that. It's obvious. Do you stick to the script if something changes? That's my problem, because there's two sections of the brain.

One that's memorizing lines and focused on delivering the memorized lines. And you can't just intertwine that with naturally conversing in real time. And when you try, you just end up breathing very heavy. Yes, and I breathe really heavy and just say something that's not apt. You're a system talker.

Yes. All right, let me try that. 407 is Orlando. On paper, a lovely city beautiful sunny skies year-round a short drive from the Gulf Coast and the Atlantic Coast Probably a dozen plus world-class theme parks and water parks Innumerable lakes with Venetian Lake canals connecting them

But we don't live in a paper world innumerable lakes with Venetian like canals connecting them. But we don't live in a paper world. What is that? We don't live in a two dimensional paper world. So on paper. Great. Actually, when we visited, I started to write something. So when we were there. Yeah, that was three years ago. Yeah, I had something in my notes app that I found. And then I added to it.

My feelings on Orlando. Shout out to the Denny's in Orlando. There was a four hour wait. Yeah. Why shout out then? Because it had the best claw machine I've ever used. Oh yeah, we'll get to that. Okay.

I spent less than 24 hours in Orlando, but my time there was more than just brief. It was briefs. Orlando is like if men's underwear was a city, uncomfortable, tightly packed, sweat inducing, stained odorous, with a periodic dickhead revealing himself. The only thing worse than having no service and being forced to look at Nick's pompous smirk after effortlessly and condescendingly dominating the Denny's claw machine was unfortunately

and morbidly everything else. Much like a claw machine, the Orlando area is tightly packed with worthless stuffed animals. Gluttonous hippopotami filled to the brim with syrup and goo. Orlando is like if a giant pond was stocked with rapidly reproducing pet peeves and then drained, but not all the way. It's a pyramid scheme in a swamp. A pyramid scheme in a swamp of ogres with no charming redeeming qualities. I'm sure locals will say Orlando is so much more than the tourist attractions. We actually have so many cool and interesting little pockets in artsy diverse neighborhoods where you can get a Native American hand-woven baby bib, an authentic Guyanese stew. They probably say Orlando is a melting pot. Yes, Orlando is a melting pot. A melting pot of old soup that's been reduced

to a puddle of liquefied stainless steel and toxic broth. What if waiting was also really loud and physically painful? This is where I start to lose steam. Orlando is a beachless bitch. That's how I feel about Orlando. All right, first of all, you wrote that three years ago. Am I so predictable? I knew you would bring up, it's always the Denny's claw machine.

Every time Orlando is utter, it's the Denny's claw machine. It was the highest moment of my entire life. It was cool. I said, I had a $5 bill. And you called a shot. I called my shot. I looked at the table, I said, okay, four of bill and he called a shot. I called my shot. I looked at the table I said, okay four of us I'll be right back come came back with four stuffed animals one miss on out of five attempts

He got one for everyone a stuffed animal for everybody the hardest thing ever that is pretty but I hate that you called me out Also, what an ego move to where you say this is where I lose steam and then you have one more sentence This is where it goes down the end yeah Yeah, I am You have surgery next week. Yeah, and I'm getting cold throat. It's gonna be expensive and I Need someone to ride me there. Drive me there. Thank you. Okay. Pick me up and ride me back. My girlfriend is out of town. Next week? Goldfinger. Goldfinger doesn't have a car. I'll get somebody. You want my

girlfriend too? Yes. Okay. Yes. Well now no. Wait, now no. Okay, yeah, yeah. Fun. I'll come too. Okay. Yeah, so you're getting a Botox injection in the back of your throat. Have you looked up Botox? I don't know what it is. It's the most toxic substance on earth. Oh, well it's going to just be there's nothing. There's nothing more poisonous, I believe, on earth than Botox.

And you're putting it in your throat. Mm hmm. That's cool. I think this has potential to really change my life for the better. What if your voice changes? That would stink. Yeah, well, it P.U. But it could. What if your voice sounded better? So I'm just saying, like, I cannot P you But it could what if your voice sounded better So I'm just saying like I cannot enjoy car Carbonation you can't eat and drink at the same time never could I've never had I can't drink two sodas I

Can't drink two beers. It's always one and then I'm like anything more would just ruin me Do you think you're in a burp too much like after that's what people say it just just burps on burps So it paralyzed the back of your throat and makes it very smooth So yeah, and it also causes this lifelong disorder that I've been dealing with causes like aggressive flatulence So now it like that makes sense why I fart so much because I can't get the relief via burp What is the actual disorder? What's happened? What is this called an acronym that I didn't look into at all? What is our CPD? What is actively happening? Good question? disorder. What's what is called an acronym that I didn't look into at all. What is our CPD? What is actively happening? Good question.

I don't know what's anatomically happening. Botox kind of fixes everything. My dad gets lifelong inability to burn a belch. And you get a hard for like migraines works wonders. That sounds like Siri and they're putting you under. Uncomfortable pressure in the neck or chest. Yeah, that's what you're complaining about getting put under. Wait, can you puke?

I'm bad at it, but I can. Painful hiccups, gurgling noises. You have everything. Yeah, the gurgling noises are the worst. Why do they hurt because it's when you need to burp but instead of burping your stomach just does this crazy dinosaur sound has it ever done in like church Yeah, it's done it on mics. It's done it on church. Yeah Damn goddamn Embarrassing thing happened to me. I forgot to change

the work address To my home address on Amazon and so now I have 24 family mega rolls of toilet paper that were sent to the office Yeah, I can hear the whispers. Everybody's called me. Mr. Shit already. Yeah, you can't buy That's an industrial public 24 mega rolls is like a hundred and fifty eight regular rolls That's gonna last you until the 40s. Not somebody who oftentimes slips back into gluten. You've been shooting more. One crouton equals one roll.

Oh my god. It's a one to one. You just can't help eating a crouton? Well no, sometimes they'll sneak into my Caesars. At two? Brutal. Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame.

We were talking this weekend, I'm going back to wheeling for Rough and Rowdy next week. Mm-hmm. And I'm going- I guess I'm not, yeah. No, I know you're not. Yeah, you are. You wouldn't have done it.

I wouldn't have, no. Yeah. But you wanted to be asked? No, no. No, no. You're going back to Wheeling. You're gonna host Rough and Rowdy. And it's at West Banko Arena.

Yeah. West Banko Arena is home of the Wheeling Nailers. And what's our fucking indoor football league team called? We've had a few, like the wild They're called the miners. They're the miners Yeah, they're the miners the wheeling miners which for ticket sales in the area. That's great, but Other than that probably a pretty rough product on the field Who could possibly play in that league?

What's no disrespect no disrespect? Who could possibly play in that league? No disrespect. No disrespect. I think they're just older guys who just want to get after it. Some Fairleigh Dickinson guys. Okay. I support that. Yeah, so local guys. Someone from Ohio Dominican University?

Yeah. Ohio Dominican. Okay. Yeah, so Thiel College. We have a Thiel College. Good-ass roster, top to bottom. I think they won it all. Devante, Andre, yeah, they're good.

Yeah, they're good. We got Devante. Andre. Andre. Tyre. Tyre. Yeah, we're fine. We're doing just fine. But do you remember when before it was just an ice rink for the Nailers, but they would also do shows.

Disney on ice. Larry the cable guy. Yes. But they did the Taylor. They never did Disney on ice. It did different things on. They would do different things on ice. Stupid shit on ice. I guess Disney on ice is expensive as fuck to get the rights for gotta be just like Yeah, there was an on ice craze on everything on ice was for some reason deemed Cooler and more exciting there was like a Wiggles on ice that was very popular There was it was a lot of children's shows, but then they started doing all shows Home improvement on ice no they did fuck they did who wants to be a million on ice

That was the dumbest shit in the world. I was fucking excited for it because I loved that show I Everyone's late. You know oh my god. You remember. I think I went to it Yeah, I think a kindergarten though. I was I think I wasn't yeah I guess I was older. I was older when I went but That shit sucked because it was the same exact who wants to be a millionaire set up So the on ice didn't really Know one was skating. They were just sitting at a desk in the middle of the ice with fucking skates on But they weren't skating.

No. No, I was so bummed, because I thought it was going to be like, I didn't know what I was expecting, because I thought it was either going to be like a theater performance of it. Like almost like a Slumdog Millionaire. You couldn't hear it. Hardly.

Hardly. And I remember it was like a local thing. So it was like, it wasn't actually obviously Regis Philbin. Do you remember the guy's name? Regis Icebin. No. Yes it was. No.

Yes it was. He was Freegis Philbin. That's even worse. No. No. It was Regis Icebin. That doesn't even, no dude. That makes way more sense than Freegis. But it sounds like Regis

yeah but it was it was on ice it was Regis ice bin what the fuck is ice bin ice bin is like the drawer for ice cubes in the freezer the compartment for ice cubes that makes a lot of it was like freezing and Regis combined no it was that way it was I'm confident it was I'm confident. It was a high school. I spin it was a high school senior It was a young man He wasn't old at all no just Philbin free just was the dude in Wheeling that would give that would give away newborn babies every Christmas Yeah, one of the best deals That dude with the beard he would just drop babies off at people's homes

Yeah, I don't remember that at all free just See ya they all had almond eyes and arched pallets Good deal for a baby Yeah, I forgot about that But it was like a high school production. So like, it would be like on a Wednesday night, a Tuesday night. It wasn't a million dollar prize at all.

It might've been like a hundred dollars. I think it was like, it would go up in increments of like $10. It was $100 and then the grand prize was a key to the city. It wasn't even any money. But I wanted that more than anything in the world Yeah, I still do last time we were that fucking fucking there biz got it Then they did a few and the questions were way too hard like multiple choice was too hard so they switched

To true or false true or false who wants to be a millionaire, but they still had a 50-50 lifeline I was damn near a gimme. It Yeah, that was damn near a gimme. It was not damn near a gimme. It was a gimme. The questions were so stupid. They were all about amphibians and, like, reptiles. I don't remember the questions. Is a newt spelled with a silent K, true or false?

Something like that. I didn't know anybody that competed. It was all, like, kind of older Yeah, I wanted to do it so bad That was and that sucked we did there was a few other things on ice It was like a beer fest on ice. I don't remember that one too much Doogie Howser on ice I was a child doctor the child doctor on ice Yeah, what what I should was a good Yeah. What, what? I just remember, I didn't see it. Oh, okay. I did like the typical Barney and stuff like that,

but no, no like high school productions of the on ice. Yeah, that was horrible. You could take a class. Like I think the high school, they stopped doing it. Who wants to be a millionaire on ice? They took the most popular show at the time. They stopped doing it once we got to high school.

Mr. Kornforth, the theater director was like running the the full name and his name was Regis Icebin. No, it's just Philbin. Icebin makes so much more sense. No, it doesn't. The freeze us freeze us would make sense, but it's free just because there's no freeze in that name. But it's like Icebin is a thing, but frigid frigid and Regis but ice bin is the ice cube nobody calls that an ice they were more prolific than pogs in the Google ice bin you're gonna see that little freezer

drawer that yeah that too if you showed somebody If you showed somebody reach and see I yeah, that's who makes it maybe that's why I'm so confused Yeah, that's what it was regions. It's been No shit no wonder But our The high school did shit like that because we had such like us close ties and there were no acts coming to Wheeling No, so they would let us like be pretty ambitious with projects because we had such like close ties and there were no acts coming to Wheeling. No. So they would let us like be pretty ambitious with projects. Do you remember like the cultural stands we had?

Ethnic day? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Was it called that? It was something like that. I made an Italian flag out of pasta. Yeah, I just did in Mexico, quesadilla.

Oh really? Yeah. Do you remember the the main one that like everybody was laughing at? Laughing at? Well not laughing. Well, yeah, I was laughing at it. I thought it was funny. No. The how many African American kids in like Maybe almost a quarter dozen Like two two yeah And they were siblings that yeah Miranda was in my class. Yeah, and then the older brother. What was his name? Five I forget his name, but

On ethnic day they did a fro yo stand They just combined to they combined two black things fro and yo Remember I ordered this you could order a soft serve For like a dollar you could get a soft serve so they would come out and barely beat you in a dance battle Barely beat you in a dance battle The Froyo stand was amazing. I was an amazing idea. I think they turned it into like a food truck style thing Did they actually made it mobile? I would pay like if you're out on a date and you can barely lose a dance battle to like a cool dude, yeah

That was a deal. That was a deal this office? It was amazing They had the dilly bars where they would just rap about flaccid pickles Yeah, the fro yo that was a raise double cup they would yeah, they would serve it. Yeah, the fro-yo. That was a craze. They would serve it double cup. They would. Yeah, they would serve it double. Yeah, it was really... Did they serve yogurt of any kind? No, there was no food. They did have a lever. What was it for? Maybe it was shea butter. It was! You put your hand under and get shea butter.

Dude, that fro you to stand wrong. Incredible idea. Poor location. Yeah. In the middle of the high school ethnic fair. Yeah. That was really. Yeah. It's actually a brilliant idea. I can see that going crazy. I can see it

I can never see the market if I'm walking out of a bar and I can buy a soft serve for 10 bucks And I just like kind of move my body and there's like ah barely got you go You almost had me brother. He only adds one step to beat you Then crosses his arms fuck. Yeah, dude All right interrupting the show really quick to talk about game time game time Unbelievable app the official ticketing partner of bar stool sports you can go see Metallica you can go see Aston Villa play Club of America This week yeah, yeah, soldier field. I think there's a friendly tonight Real Madrid AC Milan that's probably wise probably why Zlatan's in.

But yeah, go to Game Time. The right place to get tickets. The official ticket partner of Barso Sports. I already said that, but it doesn't hurt to say it again. Kyle, you like the flash deals or the zone deals, Malar? I like both, I love the zone deals. A lot of ticketing companies don't have zone deals. No.

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You can get tickets for $20. So that's just a free ticket. Get a free ticket. Free. Terms apply, download the Game Time app today. Last minute tickets, lowest prices, guaranteed. Moog, you're going to open up for Sass. Yeah, Cincinnati.

I don't like saying that. You're going to perform before Sass. Open up with Sass. Open up with attitude. Yeah. Yeah, that's better. Yeah. I get out there and get zesty when I open up.

You open up for him without he doesn't even have to ask. And you're begging for it. This is all true too. You're begging to open up for him. I'm dying to, yes. On my knees. But you're getting a ride

with a friend and fan of the program, Sam Lauderdale. He gave us these bared gifts. He gave us the Mresh. He the bills. Mresh the bills. Mresh one. He's giving me chains and jewelry.

And oh he gave you the Shoshone. He gave you the Shoshone arrow hair when we were at the live show or the our live show up in the nosebleeds. Mm hmm. But are you guys you guys are driving to Cincinnati? Yep. live show or our live show up in the nose bleeds. But are you guys are driving to Cincinnati? Yep. He's driving you? Yes. Do you have talking points?

I like the guy, but that's a far drive. Yeah, it's four and a half hours. I'm not too worried about it. I think he is enough of a wild card that he's gonna spur some conversation. Are you gonna rip ass? I think I'm gonna, I feel like it's gonna be a pretty comfortable ride.

Yeah? Yeah, but he did say he prefaced, he's like, as long as you like EDM music, you can. Yeah, he's gonna put on a playlist that's called, POV, you borrowed an alien's headphones. That's a nightmare That's way too specific for you to make up But but yeah shout out to him because I fucked up my travel plans

he's doing a really nice thing for me. And I gave him the information about where the club is, where we're staying. I offered if he needed to, he could have crashed in my hotel room Thursday night because he's coming to the show. He said, no, would never do that. And I was like, I'm sorry, it's in Bumblefuck. We're pretty far away from actually like, actually, like downtown Cincinnati. And he goes, no, this is perfect because Friday afternoon

I'm going to ride the roller coasters around the corner. Oh, yours was roller coasters. There's like a King Mason's theme park, apparently. King Mason, King's Island, King's Island. Yeah, yeah, King's Island is huge. He's a roller coaster guy. OK, OK. I have an idea. roadside individual roller coasters one one that's a really imagine driving across fucking Nebraska on i-80 and you

can just stop and ride a roller coaster I would do that every single time every time your legs and ride a roll there's probably I would do that every single time. Every time. Get out, stretch your legs, and ride a roller coaster. There's probably no real line. Right. That's a really good idea. So because the margin between wanting to ride a roller coaster, having an itch to ride a roller coaster, and actually getting to ride a roller coaster is an ocean of inconveniences.

Yeah. Driving, parking, paying. But imagine the rush. Walking, sweating, waiting. Having to poop sweating, waiting, a spontaneous roller coaster. Yeah. You always have to poop at a theme park. Yeah. And being confined to a public land with a bunch of unruly gorgons. They always are gorgons. Gorgons. Yeah. Not even goblins. No. But yeah, that's the only way you can ride a roller coaster.

You have to imagine if the park, get up early. Imagine if the top thrill dragster was in the middle of Nebraska or any long drive, the Australian Outback. Incredible. Right. I would do that 10 times out of 10. Demolish any welcome center and put a fucking roller coaster.

Have five people working. Mm-hmm. It's actually a boring drive. Yes. Like I wanna experience adrenaline. Every time I go to an amusement park, I'm in the line for a roller coaster I don't really wanna go on.

I just did it because it's the shortest line. It's behind a guy in a Punisher tank top. Always. With like the very, very hairy upper shoulders. Very hairy upper shoulders. He has a little pocket fan and he smells like dog shit. Prehistoric back acne Unbelievable on the craters go like hairs coming out. Yeah

Mm-hmm Would you want this next to like a rest stop or is this just like its own it could be next to a knowledge all the Little exit towns that are just like have like fast food and gas stations and put a roller coaster It would like if if you were driving past and you were at a seven hour drive. Oh I'm oh my god. Yes, that would make the drive so much easier. How I would pay How much would you pay for one ride of a roller coaster? I'll pay a lot 20 50 You don't have to I think it would do so well. Am I missing something?

Can you 3D print roller coasters? Probably. Put the dragster there. Put the dragster. Put the real dragster on the sides of interstates. It'd be a fun legacy if you were retired too, be like, I'm just gonna open this one roller coaster. I'm gonna do it.

And you can care for it. But like, have a few. Cultivate it. I have one here, I have one there. You have a few, maybe a log flume. Oh my God, a log flume. Yeah. And like what's like the biggest,

like you get tired when you drive for a long period of time. Yeah, imagine it's like 3 a.m. and you have like your window down, you're dozing off, you forget the last 20 miles of the drive. And then you're just like, oh fuck, there's a roll, that would wake you up.

Oh fuck, that's top fuel acceleration, 120 miles descending down a spiral loop. Yeah, I'll take that more than a coffee from Pilot. And it would be nice if it was in like an open area because when you're at a theme park and you're on a roller coaster, it's always kind of embarrassing when you hit one of those like downslopes into like the forgotten area.

Yeah, and it's sad. You go like six feet by a Porter potty. Yes, not great to see. Yeah, if it was in like a cornfield. Oh my God. How long does it take for a Just a standalone roller coaster. Once you build a roller coaster, how much is the upkeep?

I don't know. That's where I'm, that might be wrong. But if like you have somebody just live in in that town, probably a handy ass man. Like Saudi dudes, like their, their roads are probably boring as hell. Oh, other than Saudi? Yeah. Yeah.

One roller coaster. I'm in Saudi. Yeah. Yeah one roller coaster I'm surprised Saudi hasn't done that where they have the whole drive is a roller coaster. They're probably gonna do that Yeah, they do some nuts stuff. They have to live insane money. I respect it They'll buy cars just to put in their living room. Yeah Cops have lambos Yeah, yeah, it's crazy people were shitting on the line. I thought that was cool. It's never gonna happen that Oh, I'm city. I want it to happen, so I think it's like disgusting morally probably so it's like 20 miles I think it's a hundred plus. Oh really it's a shocking it's a straight line

Just near it's like a utopia. Yeah, there's like dinosaur lifelike dinosaurs Yeah, yeah, like they're just like it's like they're all in a boardroom on coke like what if like we could it's like city Skylines in real life. It's cool. You know they're probably going after now Those the men's us men's gymnastic team you think so if I'm a crown prince I'm poaching them to be my yacht boys really take him to San Tropez and make them do like gainers naked. Yeah, you see those boys Yeah, they would be the ultimate yacht boys. It would be great. Yeah, I would want to see them like carrying a plate of lobster Just like oh why not? Why not but again a gainer or whatever they can do a gainer naked which way does the dick go towards belly button or ass?

I think it I think it oh, I think it hits gooch and then on the top way That's a good question, and then it goes to belly button Yeah, I don't know That would be a lot funnier a gainer would your dick go up or down I don't know We'll go around and we'll do an ask the office tick-tock down. I don't know. We'll go around and we'll do an ask the office tick tock. Who can do a gainer?

No, can you Google just the naked gainer man? Yeah, we got we might have to watch. No, because I won't be able to sleep at night. All right. Go down the line. Goldfinger, Gooch or belly button. Gooch. I think it's I think it starts Gooch and then ends belly. No, because if you do a gainer, you have to flip this way. Yes, I think it starts gooch and then ends bellybutton. No, because if you do a gainer, you have to flip this way. Yeah, so I think it's gonna go gooch.

I think bellybutton. I think bellybutton. I guess I, Luke, gooch or bellybutton? Oh, this is gay porn. This is gay porn, yeah. Yeah, I was caught off by what Luke was looking at. Oh, they're all blurred Because a gainer you're running forward

So that's already means it's going to be going towards gooch Yeah, but then it might be different for each boy. Yeah, the little miss audience can bet on it. They could bet oh my god mmm That's another good business idea Hong naked gainer We just have a little pretty low. Yeah, and we have just boys doing naked gainers and the Saudis can bet Mm-hmm So I'm are you hip with yachting? the culture The boating mean we culture. The boating, you mean? We don't have money.

So, no, it's like a, like I guess apparently people are saying Zac Efron is a professional yacht boy for like a Middle Eastern billionaire. But like by his looks or they're saying he actually is? I think it's you go and you fuck. You fuck on a yacht for money. So Zac Efron's going out to yachts and fucking? And I think these billionaires are hiring

or trafficking men and women to be their. Are they doing the fucking or are they watching? I don't know. Oh my God. But a lot of like famous people apparently do it in like their acting or music career is just a front. They're getting their real money on the yachts. Yeah, because those guys will give a billion for just.

And then International Waters. Yeah. You're with a lot, I mean, that makes sense. Like, I feel like every celebrity paparazzi photo is them on a yacht trying to look like a single-agree. Yeah, they're not just enjoying the scenery. Yeah. With the Olympics going on, I asked this to Brandon and Titus if

if it was like It was like a trap right all these athletes came out and they locked them in this arena and It was like this post-apocalyptic like Hunger Games style thing each Sport was its own team and last team surviving got to leave What sport winds up a death match a death match? archery Do they get to use their weapons they get to use their gear? Probably the gun air rifles with fucking guns. Yeah, I guess I forgot about that. Okay, sure those can like kill you

I don't know if they can either also like The Japanese team was using the same one they used to assassinate that guy the homemade one really it's the exact same thing That's what killed. Yeah, that's why they're so good at it. Yeah, fuck. You're right Probably rugby. No, dude. There's those guys. They would be the physically body to body. Yeah, yeah, I think they're the toughest Who's do you think is like the smartest who would be tacticians? This is my I think it'd be a sick fucking movie crew dude Like the final Olympics uh-huh that would be amazing. Yeah, it would be like the purge mixed with Hunger Games and Saudi guys would be betting on them I

Can't I just can't get over the fact that there are 11 and 12 year old Japanese Chinese skateboarding Olympians since the dawn of time there's been a Japanese child that's better than An adult, but I'm just paid like sixth graders How does that all metal now? Has that been happening since the beginning of humanity? There's been an Asian child. That's better. I never knew it was like 11 12 13 Especially in skateboarding it started with piano mm-hmm and math But now I get it now from like it, but um are they just at the Olympic Village? Oh?

I don't know they have a day. Oh, I don't know. They're a day. Oh, I probably know they're probably like evil like they probably like prank Probably like pants to Anthony Davis It's literally Japanese bark like given like Halliburton a wedgie. Yeah making drew holidays go tea disappears disappeared. Tick tock slang. Oh, look at onk. Dude, yeah, they're probably rascals because it's a skateboarder. They're street skateboarders.

Yes. Little Japanese youth. Yeah. Just pranking. That would be so intimidating. Seeing a crew of insanely good young Japanese skateboarders. And they're probably skateboarding around the village.

Yeah. Yeah. Tormenting dudes. Oh, what a nightmare. Hanging out with the McDonald's in the village. They is there one there? I imagine there probably is. McDonald's loves that shit. Yeah, they're so good. Japanese teen wins gold.

Get used to that headline. Dude, there was a kid. I saw a kid that was, I think, 11 that wasn't even Japanese that did back to back 900s. Yeah. No, did he do back to back? Yeah, it's insane. That was, it took Tony Hawk how long?

That was his special move in pro skater. Now it's like. But why did we just universally, like why shouldn't, we should be parading these kids. I think it kind of makes the sport less cool. It definitely does. It's embarrassing. Definitely. I'm probably going to get roasted for that, but like it almost seems like the skill level is not as impressive as I thought it was if a kid can do it. Like is Nigel Houston losing to

these? No, he's winning golds I think still. I think he won a bronze. Did he win a bronze? Did he lose to a kid? I don't know who won the gold. I think the girls are more kid based the gold medalist was a 14 year old Yeah, the girl Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah, I think it would just like kind of sully Are there any kid podcasts out yet our kids crushing podcasts yet? I'm sure of it. Yeah, there's a top 100 podcast that a kid is crushing but it doesn't have an adult? I don't know

That's next like a yeah But they're gonna be so much better than us. That's anybody that's better than us. Yeah We're not good at this whatsoever Top podcast circle but circle round. But we're gonna age horribly. Yes. In 20 years, podcasting will be unbelievable. Yes.

Well yeah, this is gonna be like when you watch like old NBA videos and you're just like, these guys suck dick. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they were playing against plumbers. Yeah. Yeah, we were podcasting against plumbers.

Yeah. An accountant, a graphic designer, a special eds teacher, and a dyslexic man Yeah, I love you said all of our careers. Yeah, I Wasn't a special ed teacher. Oh, yeah, they saw what you did. Yeah, you taught by example Wait circle around create and produced Can we listen to a clip? Yeah. A little kid doing an ad read for better help.

It's an NPR podcast? Oh, they have to be doing insane numbers, I bet. No, shitty numbers. No, I'm gonna, I think. That would be like a top eight Barstool show. Yeah. Kids are still pretty trash at talking Yeah, there's one that goes viral on reels. I gotta find it real quick, but I'll What is it is a kid podcast? It's like it's like four

15 year olds okay That's that's can't be good And then there's like all those like fraternity podcasts that are out right now talking about like DJing at frats Have you seen the goldfingers probably listen that religiously? Oh my god. There is an Arizona State one isn't it? You hate listen It's just like what are they I DJ this party and it was fucking crazy and then the host like that's crazy They did favorite Gatorade I saw they matched up like they're like drinks so it was like dr. Pepper Gatorade versus Pepsi and coke who's winning?

But granted like that's some shit. I would love there, but they more listens than us. Who is this? This is a specific There's an Arizona State like frat DJ podcast I see like yes, and it's a mook frat DJing has evolved to like actual staged sets Yeah, and then they just play other people's songs and get crazy crowds I saw two clips from the podcast and it was just like the DJ talking the next episode It was a girl that went to the party and she's like it was crazy. And then the guys like that's fucking nuts It's gonna see that I gotta see that yeah That's not my alley. Yeah, like I think Rudy you'll probably buy merch

Yeah, I could that probably would have been me if things have bounced a little differently microphone, yeah Yeah, I could that probably would have been me if things have bounced a little differently microphone. Yeah Yeah, you were Probably eight universes out of ten you're doing this. Yeah, you're the host of this at your age now interviewing Interviewing Arizona State frat DJs. Yes So was it sick? Yeah What it was so hype? Kyle this next one's for fit bod and you're in the doily shirt So was it sick? Yeah. What? It was so hype.

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Get 25% off your subscription or try the app free at fitbud.me slash anus. Yeah, this is the best podcast on earth actually. You guys ready? Yeah. Slash anus. Yeah, this is the best podcast on earth actually Yeah Honorated Gatorade flavor you think oh, that's a good question Lie yeah, I agree though that is that is yeah W production guy Good oh yeah crazy question, bro W production guy that is their friend Oh Yeah, crazy question bro W production guy that is their friend yes, they know very well

It's hard to make it seem like they hired us. Oh wait goldfinger comment riveting content Open invite to these guys to yeah, I'd love to have them. I would love to have these guys. And I want them to ask me some hard hitting questions. Wait, go down. It's the interview with this guy. Keep going down. What's the pit bull one? Is that the one? Yeah, the ASU one.

No, ASU. Where do you stay? I stay in Hossie. Hossie? Yeah. You got any crazy stories at Hossie? Bro. Oh yeah. I have this crazy one, bro. The second day I stayed in fucking Hossie. Yeah. Oh yeah. You got any crazy stories at Hossie? Bro. Oh yeah. This crazy one, bro.

The fucking the second day I stayed in fucking Hossie. This is, this is when I was telling you I was getting sick. So I started getting sick. And I drank the night before and had a fire drill at like three in the morning, bro. Oh bro. It lasted three three hours I'm not even kidding that's sweet it was from 4 a.m. to 7 in the morning bro I was sitting outside hung over and sick as shit I literally like slept on the floor that sucks yeah you It's so good! It's so fucking good, I'm pissed. Show me more. Pitbull?

Oh wait, no. Go down. There's one where he's like... Play the Pitbull one. You wanna see the Pitbull one? Wait. I've DJ'd in so many different weird ass settings, dude. I'm not joking. And Pitbull works in every crowd. I swear, bro. Everybody gets down to fucking Pitbull. Yeah.

Dude, it's like, it's literally like Narcan So everybody's ODing and then it's like heroin no, I think everybody was like dying everyone was dying in the brings him We said he was doing weird ass settings. Yeah, he's been he's DJed everywhere That is a weird. He's not even lying That is a weird set. He's not even lying. It was like, no. What's he saying? He's not, like, that's the thing.

I don't even get a chance to not believe him. Yeah, he's not lying. Because he'll tell me right off the get. It's facts. It's that it's facts. No lie. Yeah, this shit. I was hungover in Hosse.

Is that a dorm? That must be. And he was getting sick. And sick. Hungover in Hossie is that a dorm that must be? And he was getting sick hung and sick, and I'm not even kidding three hour fire drill. I almost slept on the ground I drank the night before these guys are funny Wait, what's there's a really really good one go far left no Yeah, oh wow only like 91 likes why is the ASU that logo or symbol above them there as you boys Okay, all right scroll up

Let's do the 22, 227. You've obviously DJed. Do you DJ for your friend? I do. Hell yeah, dude. Tell me stories about that. Any crazy shit. Dude, we, we just threw last weekend, we did a joint, um, with another fraternity. Yeah. I don't want to name drop them, but wow, bro. I mean, I mean like, I would, I would honestly be comfortable saying like 700, 800 people in that backyard. What? Of a house? Yeah. Dude, that's ASU Parties for you right there bro. It is. I'm telling you bro. I've been, so like I rushed to fraternity my sophomore year because I didn't do it my freshman year. So've only been in fraternity for what like This is my fourth semester. Yeah, and bro like I have never like we are on the come up for Asig no no just just ASU in general. Oh, yeah, yeah, you've obviously oh, it's amazing

This is how like a college kids always have talked yes, and you just had to let them Yeah, cuz like that worked but to film it It's just some really really Really good shit hit him with a follow. That's the clips that they plucked yes like yes I would like to see some of the deep end shit. Yeah, well listen through Open invite to to poppy do they have a patreon? Damn cuz I would have been subscribing to that Rudy go fly out and try to recruit them Yeah, there's never been an easier job. Yeah, we're actually gonna fly you out. Yeah, I will buy you

I will buy you a plane ticket to go out I want a meeting like I want you to run out an office space and I want you to play hardball with them Yeah, we'll do a holiday in so like give them a really low offer and then tell them you're not even joking. Mm-hmm Yeah, they'll be in it's a 24 minute podcast fuck. Yeah ours were like that oh Oh Man W podcast for sure is W production guy. I'm gonna start saying that to you Mook yeah actually I'm probably not I wish I could brother yeah ain't it's to poppy collab I need it what does that mean your dad your daddy Yeah. I think it means like your daddy.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, we're sending Rudy Junda out because- All right, yeah, and you have to do a gainer. Yeah. At one of their parties. It's been a minute. Can you gainer? I've always wanted to be able to.

Yeah, I used to. I do want to step the fashion up though. You're wearing a shirt if you have a notice. I've been trying. Yeah, you had the cool Collar went through a phase. I was wetter sure too old to be dressing like like me already the all the vintage sports teams, it's a But not late I like that but I wouldn't wear it. Thanks bro. Well, Spider-Man 2. You're wearing my best sequel shirt. You know what he wanted us to ask about it. He texted me just a picture I just get a random picture of him wearing the shirt and he just says nah you can't have it. Wait I was texting, I was being a real douchebag this weekend

Yeah, cuz I bought Kyle bought for me at a street fair a diamond bracelet. I Felt it already broke mine, too but I text I text gay Pat who makes less than us and If only he went by Pat. And I was like, dude, I'm wearing Birkenstocks out. I'm kind of nervous. Can you tell me if my fit's trash? And he was like, yeah, man, for sure.

Like, thanks for, like, he was like touched that I asked him for fashion advice, even though he dresses like shit. And I asked him for fashion advice. I said, wearing Birkenstocks out for the first time tonight mind if I show you I trust your Opinion and it was just the Birkenstocks were real blurry on the ground was me holding an Amex platinum that was Mereches and my diamond bracelet with your Cuban Lee. Yeah, my Cuban with diamond. I do You were vibing to To vibe Apple. Oh the DJ vibe Appleapple was at the street fair. Shazaming Vibeapple. That's the guy's name?

There was a guy, DJ performing at the street fair Vibeapple. What street fair? Lincoln Park. Is it cool? There weren't many people there at all. It was like just us and Vibeapple. Sounds so cool. Yeah. Anything else Bauer? Yeah, what do I got? I? Just asked roller coaster roadside roller coasters. Yeah brilliant idea Worst dream dinner guests three people mmm alive or dead mm-hmm oh Wow, I think it would have to be three babies, three annoying babies. Three annoying babies, one's deaf. One's deaf and they're crawling all over the table and throwing your food.

I feel like you could tire them out though. I think they could go for an hour. At the end they have endless energy. Endless energy babies, I didn't think about that. Three annoying, energetic babies. No, there's gotta be some adults that are worse. They pour great gravy down your neck. That would suck, fuck.

I think that would be the worst. Can I choose the dinner? Any adult can be an adult at dinner. Yeah, babies would be shitty as fuck. I think babies would be the worst. No, I bet you toddlers would be worse than babies. Potentially. Or even like, first graders aren't toddlers, right? No.

First graders would suck. First graders might be the biggest dickheads in the world. No, they can be quiet, right? I think they're energetic as hell. They don't listen. I guess unless you have iPads Yeah, you want to let your kid be an iPad kid It's it. I think about that a lot really

It's so you don't I do like when I think about Early fatherhood there's so many like impactful decisions you have to make so during rat race. There was like a deleted scene I asked you in the in the uber. I was like Do you want to be a parent one day? Because what you're 31? Times common yeah, and you said what I? Want to have had a child without the process I know what that which means sex no yeah, I? Guess you want a kid without so I don't wanna like go through the the whole shebang like pregnancy

Infant infancy you don't want to go through pregnant like having to think about it or having to see it Yeah, having to see it. I don't wanna go through pregnancy It's worse for the guy. They have to fucking see it You don't have to yeah, you could leave or just or just go over the shoulder Sleeping next to a belly pov. Yeah, I don't I don't like I don't like sleeping next to a firm Belly a firm belly go to sleep with an Indian it wake up, and it's an Audi And then like trying to comfort me like it's cool you it's beautiful. You're blowing yeah, you're radiant So yeah, I get that I think I'm gonna have to fold

and let the kid do the tablet. Then it's like, all right, now they're addicted. Now they rely on it to not be annoying and loud. As somebody with your master's degree in early childhood development, yay, nay. There is, you gotta find the this thin perfect spot of using it for rewards in educational purposes. So is Minecraft good?

Probably not. Damn. But like anything. Are you gonna let your kid watch Mr. Beast? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. And then you think about oh what what about when they're 12 13? Do you let them have social media apps?

It's hard to tell it a teen what to do with their phone. They're gonna still do it anyway Yeah, but you know we know how damaging it is I found a Google Chrome add-on that adds a mr. Beast with his mouth agape to every thumbnail on YouTube Highly recommend it with his mouth agape to every thumbnail on YouTube. Highly recommend it, with his red ass lips. Is he like, affiliated with like, some vicious trans girl now? It was a person in his team that became trans who had sent like, overly sexual jokes to a minor.

As that's all that's come out, I guess. And I guess the trans person also bought like, anime pedophilia art hmm I Bet you is is did mr. Beast apologize a mr. Beast is launching a personal investigation mr. Investigate yes Mm-hmm yeah, he's not a beast at all, mr. Beast should be a bodybuilder, right? Yeah He is kind of a beast though in terms of like where his ideas are going Like I'm pretty sure like if this if you didn't have to deal with all this like his next video would have been like But he's an artist 80 refugees to a desert island and made him fight with sticks, but like no

but it's just like this guy like Build a bunch of wells in Jamaica, and you wouldn't be like that guy is on fucking beast mode At all awful name changes should be like mr. Good guy. Yeah, maybe not anymore W producer W producer So bad I would hate that I Think I think I can beat your three babies at dinner I think I think I'd rather have three babies than have like two grandparents and an aunt that haven't seen you in a while To two grandparents you that shouldn't be awkward no not awkward ants potentially, but it's like 21 questions

What about a missing adults with dementia wandered in? Uh-huh nightmare, okay It's like 21 questions. What about a missing adult with dementia wandered in? Uh-huh. Nightmare. Okay, yeah, now we're cooking. One of the Yule Lads, the one that licks spoons. Yeah. And the adoring fan from Oblivion.

What's that? Trust me. You could have just said one Yule Lad. Yeah, one Yulad trumps three babies. But three babies, like throwing your silverware at people. A dementia, octogenarian, adult runaway, adoring fan from Oblivion, and a Yulad. That is a nightmare crew. Yeah.

That is unbeatable. For, I think three people might get the. You know what, let's end the episode on just pull up the adoring fan from oblivion it's as soon as you in the arena in oblivion you get this adoring fan that follows you everywhere and he is a game yeah there is a game yeah

that's why I play a video of them god I fucking hate him imagine this guy at dinner yeah yeah he's the worst man he's worse than a baby standing here next to me p you that's an odd where you can send them up to space yeah it's because everybody hates the

adoring face oh that's satisfying. He looks like a mixture of food god and syndrome. Yeah, that's pretty good. Food god. I've seen food god. Is he a good cook or does he just call himself that? I've never seen him cook. Yeah, nobody's ever seen food god cook. I think he just eats, which in a weird way kind of does make him the food god.

We have to go. Yak with his lot. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm actually like intimidated to see him. I have two Swedish chocolate bars from stock Stockholm. I have a Jap and plop. He's from Malmo. He's from what Malmo is that in still in Sweden. Do you think they have Jap and plop there? Yeah. but he might have a beef with Stockholm I'll just say I got it from So it's a Jap and a plug sure he knows them by name It's probably shop and plop. Yes a shock. Huh? Where'd you get those so quick? Marash had them

Marash is the plug kind of yeah. Yeah been giving you chillin my shirt before you go. Oh, I didn't bring mine I brought mine dude for next week though. Yeah. Yeah, we'll wear them next week cool. All right. God bless. God bless