A New Untold Story - Leaky BA - A New Untold Story: Ep. 406

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Nick and Kyle take a trip down memory lane, KB brings back DHOTW, and Nick tells us some new Knews. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply)! Arena Club - Check out Arena Club the all-in-one trading card platform, use arenaclub.com/anus for 10% off your first purchase! Smalls - Make the switch to Smalls today for some protein packed fresh smelling cat food. Head to Smalls.com/UNTOLD and use promo code UNTOLD at checkout for 50% off your first order! Butcherbox - Find incredible deals on your favorite high quality meat and seafood. Go to Butcherbox.com/UNTOLD and use code UNTOLD at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone-in chicken thighs, top sirloins, or salmon in every box for an entire year plus $20 off! Manscaped - It's time to let your balls breathe, head over to manscaped.com and use code ANUS to receive 20% off + free shipping! You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcastYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Uh, clap. It's a fresh, big untold story. New untold story episode 408. 406. Are you jacking? Are you nabbing my shades? I, my fucking uniform is olive and black. Color scheme that I popularized.

Wrong. Wrong. Pull up a random episode. I am fucking I always all of all of the way black black olive green olive I'd smash it I guarantee you I've worn it a hundred times more all right episode 406 or six it's the entire state of Montana cool which is a big state yeah bigger than, 2% of Tokyo's population. Wow.

If you're standing in the southwest corner of Montana, you're closer to Texas than the northwest corner of Montana. No. You're closer to Texas than you are closer to the northwest corner of Montana. I'm not buying it. Yes. Fun fact though. Who's from Montana?

The world's first identified T-Rex was found in Montana by a guy named Barnum Brown known as Mr. Bones. He was a famous fossil hunter. His wife ended up writing three memoirs about him. Mr. Bones? Mr. Bones. What were the memoirs? You're getting memoirs written about him. From your wife? And. Mr. Bones. Mr. Bones. What were the memoirs? You're getting memoirs written about

from your wife. And your name is Bones. Mr. Bones. Oh, my God. Round met socialite, Lillian. She was a socialite and he turned her into a memoir author. Oh, imagine fucking somebody into

author. Imagine he fucked her into being a memoir author about him. Yeah, they're all about him. I married a dinosaur is one of them. Bring him back petrified and Cleopatra slept here. His daughter also wrote a memoir about him. So this is the coolest guy in the world found the T-Rex. I'm at so a socialite a socialite is a sexy whore, right?

She's a sexy Egyptian. Yeah, what actually Egyptian? She's an Egyptian woman. They met in Egypt. Okay, Lillian Brown. This guy is interesting He was named after PT Barnum. Yeah, his parents named him because Named him Barnum because they knew he would be a showman. Oh My god, he discovered like other monkeys and shit

Like new ones. I mean, it's just crazy. He he found the T-Rex. Imagine rolling over after a romp with your lover and then she's like I need to write about you. What a compliment. Three times. Mr. Bones good for him. Double proxy weddings are legal in Montana, the only state in the US. Don't know what that is. Bride and groom can be in completely different locations and still get married with two people standing in on their behalf. The bride can be in Papua New Guinea.

The groom can be in East Watini and they can still get married in Montana. They can have two people. Yes. Then your mom, like you made her join PTA. So she could petition to allow double proxy proms. PTA so she could petition to allow double proxy proms. Yeah, I wish. Yeah, I wish. Montana. Famous people. Barely any. It might be the least famous state. Maine.

Stephen King. Yeah, Stephen. And they have Cooper Flag, right? So we got Michelle Williams. Okay. Is she a black woman? I think. No, she's every dude from Mass beat it to Michelle Williams in Manchester by the Sea.

Oh, that's who that is, okay. There was like, you're not from Mass, you're not from Boston if you didn't beat it to Blake Lively in the town sure Amy Adams in the fighter yeah Barrymore in fever pitch Michelle Williams in Manchester by the sea But Damon in goodwill hunting yeah, you'd have to read you're from Mass McFarland and Ted Yeah, dude. Just that cold, raw depression and hopelessness.

You know the scene. Oh, I know. In Manchester by the Sea? She's wearing like a plaid pea coat with a... Yeah. She's the most famous. Who's second? She's the most famous actor.

The only actor. Athletes. Their most successful athlete by far is two time Olympic gold medalist rifle shooter, Lone's Wigger. I feel like you're taking creative liberties to make the pronunciation funnier. Lone's Wigger? No, it the pronunciation funnier loans wigger. No it look up loans wigger Anybody oh Damn, bro. I shot the shit out that bulls. I sprayed that oh

I fed that target shells boy I fed that target shells boy Lone's Wigger the number one financial advisor in all of sports working with star athletes from Max Crosby to Travis Kelsey Lone's Wigger Rest in peace. Oh, is he dead? Yeah. All right, the most famous person of all time is Evil Knievel. Yeah. But the most famous living person from Montana is Evil Knievel's son, E.J. E.J.? Yes.

E.J. Knievel, Evil Jr. Apparently he's a gay son and a thought daughter. Like he's a non-binary slut. No way. He's both. And he's freaky like Evil. Oh, so he'll do stunts? Yes.

He does sexual stunts. What's he do? He rode a Pete Davidson over Daniel Caesar's phallus Nobody's gonna get that Yeah, did you say instead of a Harley Davidson he wrote a Pete Davidson and instead of over not Caesar's palace Daniel Caesar's phallus EJ can If anybody got that without the explanation huge huge genius

he was playing Adam Lambert for a while like leading him on like Gaslighting him. Yeah guys like he was fun. I thought you might listen. Okay. Yeah, he's playing him Damn that sucks, man What else wait what others? Evil why do I feel like you're not good for me? Oh evil I'm not bad. I'm just a little evil When he was like 12 he like fucked his parachuting like partner Landed in him

Wait what I'm trying to think of other things a gay stuntman would do Yeah, he's pretty secretive. You don't really, he doesn't broadcast stunts. I'm surprised David Blaine hasn't gone into that with like his extreme endurance. With gay stuff. What did Evil, he just did motorcycle. He just jumped over school buses, I think. He wore like a skin tight jumpsuit.

It was like red, white, and blue. Yeah. In a motorcycle that is just not at all designed to do that jump, which I always always appreciate he broke like 400 some bones Mm-hmm, just have a gay son But he has four he's like four kids, okay Robert put it all on the line. Just have a gay son. Yeah that he named after himself. Yeah EJ Knievel

I'm trying to think of gay stunts and it's just it's just sucking a big dick. Yeah. That's holy shit. That's incredible. What? What? Do you know anything else about E.J.? No, that's it. Let's get him on the pod. Hey man. And And loans does loans have any kids loans wicker Loans It's got a daughter yeah, what's her Dina wigger Dina? Olympic air rifle squad oh Wow, okay Hmm um someone sent me this shirt. It just says Kyle Langendorfer on it. What is that?

It's the dude who beat me in college. That was merch? My last loss. And it was like, some guy, I guess it's his friend, like just constantly taunts me about it. But it's like my least unimpressive loss. Your least unimpressive loss. So it was your best loss?

Probably. Why? Because I was up a weight class is he good You and I think you what are you supposed to do with that t-shirt? I guess so somebody got a custom-made t-shirt. This is my yeah This is my best loss if my Taiwan Claxton loss was gutsy this was Kyle Lang and there for loss is it an organ farm? four to three He ended up qualifying for NCAA. Yeah Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for the shirt. I have some news. Oh, yeah. News. I have some news. The anger coming out of that. Yeah, you're pissed. Now, if I won that match, I would have decided to use my last year of eligibility. Oh, wow.

Maybe wouldn't be here. Definitely not. You know, I was an underrated loser for like a period of my life, like an underrated local loser. I Didn't get into grad school I thought you did so I'm 23. I have a useless degree You're working at hungry. How do you I didn't know a single thing about speech pathology? Couldn't get a job because you need a master's degree. Rejected from every school I applied to. Even though males are so underrepresented, like they always

take males. So I was degreeless. I was a delivery driver with, at Hungry Howie. I had to shadow a 16 year old. I talked about it. It was like the lowest point of my life. Was he like nice to you? Was he like talking down to you? Yes, he was teaching me how to deliver pizza. Like I had to follow him to the door and he was like watch this. And he was like don't say anything. Then it was just him. He would introduce you to like the people?

No, like he wouldn't even give me that credit. He was like watch this, just like if you have any questions afterwards, let me know. But don't talk while I make this transaction Dead broke wait mine. So wait, you're good. I can hear you. Were you good at it? No, I was constantly getting lost. You know how I drive. I have directional down syndrome for a map guy It's insane how bad I am with directions. So that, I was dead broke. I had, I was 23 and still had a meal plan.

Cause I loved like the chicken wraps, like the little campus market so much. You can get a meal plan outside of school? I made my, I was in in I was like a grad student. Okay. This fake certificate program delivering pizzas going to the cafeteria. Damn that that is a huge we were both underrated losers. You were over. You're an overrated loser. Thank you. Yeah. That really is nice. I was an overrated loser. I was. All the hot dudes liked me. That was good.

I know they still do. They still hit me up. Wow man, thank you for opening up. Yeah. Alright, ad time. But we'll get through it quick because you guys know everything about it pretty much already. Game time. Yeah and you'll use it quickly to get tickets quickly, easily, cheaply, fastly. Fastly. Listen, get out to an amphitheater, to an arena, to a field and see something, see a performance.

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Hey, and at the very least, if you're not gonna go to a concert. Wait, are you still doing the Game Time ad? Or, well, I'm gonna segue. If you're not, hey, say, like you're so- But the ads aren't touching each other. This will be later in the episode. But no, they'll remember. Yeah, keep going.

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That's arenaclub.com slash an anus 10% off your first purchase I Have some news, but it's not good But I'll do it. Yeah, that's what the nature news With the trait the sports Got some sports news with the trade deadline quickly approaching the Philadelphia Phillies are interested in MLB star jazz Chris Ohm jr. So I say his last name Chisholm Chish MLB star Jazz Chrisolm Jr. Is that how you say his last name? Chisholm. Chisholm?

Chisholm. Jazz Chisholm. So the Phillies are interested in MLB star Jazz Chisholm Jr. Uh oh, the last time Jazz Philz, a 13 year old ended up pregnant. Speaking of, happiest of birthdays to noted pedophile Carl Malone.

It's his birthday? Happy birthday Karl Malone 61 Called the mailman because he always delivered you could call his 13 year old girlfriend that as well because she delivered his child Karl Malone turned 61 and is immortalized in the basketball Hall of Fame a second place. His bust should never be That son of a guns a real scumbag Happy birthday to daughter of a gun Casey Colson Baker Anna gun Skylar from Breaking Bad's daughter Okay daughter of machine gun Kelly

Skylar's Name cuz she won a nummy all right. I guess you have to know's name? Cause she won an Emmy. Oh, alright. I guess you have to know her name then. She turns 14. Oh my god. Her father, machine gun, has recently been called out again by Eminem, potentially reigniting their beef.

When asked about the Eminem beef, fellow musician Lizzo said, where can I order that? Always Lizzo. You always bring it always somehow some way. They got a she wanted to know where to get that Eminem beef. Sounds like a good sandwich. The Midwest trail mix. Much like Lizzo, Machine Gun Kelly is set to collab with Jelly Roll releasing his new song July 26th.

And they got a gotta call loans Wigger Yeah, Jelly Roll gotta call him up Can't call loans Wait, do you know what I'm saying? You can't you can't call me. I can't call you. You got to call me. What was that from? Oh, fuck. I thought I knew that's leaky BA leaky BA. He was every not even third commercial on local television. He was every commercial. I didn't have I only had basic cable growing up.

So. I don't commercials were probably what like fifteen15 to be on like the between the local news He bought them all he had a monopoly on commercial on ads and commercial every commercial was leaking. We a I don't know what he did He's name wasn't leaky. He's not even from Wheeling He was like a stupid though, but he was so prolific in the Ohio Valley. Maybe the biggest celebrity we had He would do talks at schools. He would come do demonstrations. No one knows what he did. He had, they were the most low budget commercials and I think he shot them all. I think he had like 400. Gases up, cements up. Um, call me, it was $29.99.

Everything was $29.99? No, $2,999. $3,000. And he would come look at your basement. He would just finish your basement. Or clean your basement. I don't, I don't. He didn't say what he would do, and no one knew, but everyone knew Leaky BA. I don't even know what BA stood for.

I think it just stood for BA. I think that was his name. What is that, like a degree? Yeah, he had a Bachelor of Arts. He was bragging that he got his Bachelor of Arts degree. But he didn't even do that. His name was Kenny. It's me, Kenny. That's right.

And here, pull up one of his, look at that. Only $29.95, it's back. Gas has went up, gravels went up, seamists went up, everything's went up, but I tell you what, I'm going for 20 days. What is he doing? We don't know what he's talking about. $29.95 to do your whole basement water-free,

only $29.95, I don't care how big it is, as long as it ain't big as a courthouse, only $29.95. I'm gonna do it for 30 days or 30 days only. Call right away. How much is that price? $29.95. I said $29.95.

Remember I said call me if you can call me. No one knew what he done. Nobody knew. Like, but he just wanted people to call him. So famous. Go back. As long as it's not his biggest courthouse. I don't know what the fuck that means,

but people were enamored by Leaky BA. He was like a, he was a cunt too. He looks like a god rest his soul. He looks like a jack-o-lantern on a beanbag sack. He looks like he's about to steal dinosaur DNA in a Barbasol. Demonstrations. I'm getting to the basement, fella.

And a lot of times, a lot of people have asked me, are you serious? Is that guy serious? Does he fix basements? Yes, I do. Pause. I do. Yeah, that's not the look of a guy that-

Leaky has never done manual labor. He had a team of like high school kids, like girls and boys. Yeah, like he would poach the girls from Dairy Queen and they would just spray people's basements, I think. Yeah, with like an insulating foam but couldn't move but like why is he acting like you bet I

Don't get everyone loved him. He would come in like he would was there like science fairs about him. He would pay Kids it was like an advertising technique. He would pay kids to do their science fair on like, calc and like the effects of like, waterproofing. I remember Brandon Wilson, who's a fucking doctor now. Look him up. Think bald, not a big deal. Liked him, smartest guy in the class. I think he did his, oh you don't actually,

no, no, don't have to look, Doc's the guy. Just telling the people at home, if you wanna look them up, a doctor, good physician. Wait, I remember once Leaky BA played a grandma in a commercial, but it was just him with like a rugby sweater. You know those like douchey sweaters

that have the collars built in over his head? Hi, I'm Grandma Kenny, and I'm talking for my grandson Kenny, Leaky BA. He wanted me to tell you guys We're gonna be closed over Christmas to the first year But they're open the rest of the year and after the first and most times it only takes one day Just one day to do the job. So hurry up and call him so Sandy can come see you Remember, he can't call you you got to call him. Bye. Bye

And that was the whole commercial and then the next commercial would just be him again. Yes. And then we back to no one, no demonstration of what he was going to do or what his service does. Like nothing. Just talked about it. You can't call me. I got, wait, I can't call you. Everybody comes out to me. He would call everyone. No, he's calling our home phone. Yes. And like, remember the Leaky BA gift cards? I got one, I was obsessed with Leaky BA as a kid, like, cause like, that's fun for a kid, I guess. I liked it, I was drawn to it. So I wanted like a gift card,

cause I didn't know what Leaky BA was, but I got a gift card of my stocking. That was common, yeah. I think I got one, you got them from your birthday from Sister Kathleen too. We got them at that or a dress down there. We everyone thought that was the, yeah. I think I got one, you got them from your birthday from Sister Kathleen too. We got that or a dress down there. Everyone thought that was the biggest gift. We were like, what do we even do with this?

It's a $15 gift card to Leaky BA. He only has one service and it costs $2,995. We don't know what it is. You would like walk the streets of Downtown Wheeling and Leaky BA gift cards would be on the sidewalk Like Vegas whore card He had a his own Christmas float at the Wheeling parade he went after Santa Claus It was just him

Stand sitting yeah sitting on like a very empty float. He was enormous He was built like the fucking Emperor and doune. He was throwing like Baron Harkin. Yeah Some he was throwing wet little bags of wet cement at the kid not wet I don't think you would be like rap this guy to make a float I think it was like little things of cement that you could like do your own little product He was like for educating kids, but just to be basement guys. We all remember we've all memorized the phone number. It was like We all remember we've all memorized the phone number it was like Eight six seven five three. Oh nine to us. It was more popular I've been then there was a rumor that like two of the lunch ladies and one sophomore had it that number tattooed right by their pussy

Like he did like half like the high school football halftime shows where him just coming out with a mic and doing one of the commercials. And saying like people you would go up to him. I remember like my dad was like starstruck and he would go up and say $29.95 to him and Leakey would be like can't call me and he'd point like this he would point with his thumb and his like he's holding a like a salami sandwich. He was always at Uncle Pete's. He had like a residency there. Yeah, Uncle Pete's holding a salami sandwich. That's a fact I do. He was always at Uncle Pete's. Yes. He had like a residency there. Yeah, Uncle Pete's getting the ribs.

I can't get over the you gotta call me thing on an infomercial. You gotta call me, I can't call you. People come up to me and they say, you don't look like a basement guy. What? Nuh-uh. No one.

There was one where. No one in the Ohio Valley could afford that. But the commercials were the lowest budget all the time. There was one where the mascot was a bag, a paper bag. That's Kenny Bag. My name is Sandwich Bag and I have a leak. Somebody put a bad sandwich in me and it leaked all over me. Can you fix me, Mr. Leaky BA?

I'm sorry but I Don't do bags Especially old bags, but I do do basements. I do crack footers broken walls boat walls Hey water, it don't matter even get free estimates. I can't call you. You gotta call me Rest in peace, Kenny Kenny. Yeah. Suicide. What? No, I'm kidding.

No idea how he died. I thought you were going to say you died in her. Is the number still up? Like, do you think it's still? I haven't thought about Leaky BA forever. It was him and number one, Snyder and number one, Snyder was an electronic repair place? I don't know, I just remember number one Snyder.

My dad bought a computer from there and they were like, we gotta wait on one more part. And then we just never got it. They sold it. Oh, he's a computer. He was a con man, I believe. Rest in peace, Kenny. Yeah, he had his own bowl game, like high school bowl game. He did.

The leaky bowl. Oh, yeah, leaky bowl It was just like it wasn't even the best teams that played in it I think it was like the third and fourth place like the Steubenville's the loser bracket Yeah, yeah, which was better than any West Oh, yeah, I think he would hire like them to like do the basements I didn't know anybody that's ever used he tried to like you would always try to hire kids Under the promise of I'm gonna pay under the table and it was never in money What what did he pay in like football cards? like top like

Under the table though No, none of that you don't need to hide that government shit. It's I'm gonna pay you under the table though. What is that? He's like, I don't know none of that. You don't need to hide that shit. That government shit. It's all up under the table. Oh my God. Is there any more? Wait, scroll down. God, this is really sparking a memory for me.

I'm sorry this is a visual one. You know about them bird walls? Well, I tell you what, I got about everything you want. I even got the stick period. Oh, he's shorting it. He's four nine. The whole bird wall back. You talk about crack fliers, Hey, we got steel period.

I got concrete period. I got any kind of thing that you want. He's got it all. Now, not necessarily do I use all this, but I have it. And I'll tell you what. What does that mean? I'm not going to use it. I think he just had parts. Can I ask a question between us?

Hi there. Is Leaky BA retarded? I think he just had parts. Can I ask a question between us? Is Leaky BA retarded? Leaky BA, yeah, he did. He didn't have a bachelor of arts. Heavens, no. That's what he was going for. Mm hmm. No. Yeah, you try to impress people by adding that.

It was like Esquire to him. Remember the chain emails? Oh, my God. Yeah. So he he was hip to the Internet, early Internet. Esquire to him. Remember the chain emails? Oh my God. Yeah. So he was hip to the internet, early internet. You would get chain emails. Remember how people would send you chain emails and be like, if you don't forward this, a dead girl will like, hi, I'm Emily.

And I died when I was 12. Yeah. If you don't forward this to 20 people. He would do it with the chain emails. And he would say, if you don't forward it to like 30 of your friends, you'll get a leaky basement. And it was like a kind of adults

in our town believed it. They were like, yeah, that's true. Like, so the forwards are going. My mom was forwarding leaky B.A. He had like 100 Facebook pages. They would always pop up. It's like, like I had like 50 leaky BA friends.

Yeah, just to pad the stats on Facebook, I added all the leaky BA accounts. Oh my God, dude, I got he's got everything, things he won't use. This is all the same guy. This is BF that's uploading them. That's a lot. I don't know. A lot of rumors. Yeah. Oh, did you ever meet him in person we would solve from if I was afraid that was too shy to like talk to him I

Know what I'm thinking about how you had a good last name today loans loans has a great last name. Oh, yeah I've been watching this new show on Apple TV Severance no Presumed innocent it's a remake of a Harrison Ford movie with Jake Gyllenhaal. Mm-hmm, but I Can't say two of the actors last names the black woman in the show Can't say her last name. Oh my god. Oh my god And then the gay guy in the show greed if you could show more any

Yeah, right there an egga Wait, what's the other one ot fag beanie? fag beanie It's like a turnover chain when you go wait, it's like a turnover chain, you know, like when a defense they get the fucking chain This is the OT fag beanie. OT fag beanie? That's like that's what we do this for We've been waiting on an OT fag beanie. That's like in a, in a gay pride parade. If it's tied, if there's two, I don't, I don't know if I don't fucking know how to make this work.

It sounds like a skateboarder with like that, the build beanie. That was never even big enough to bear to even give you any measure. Oh, the, the, the, yeah yeah, that is that's what that is on top fag be Yeah, but like his delivery in the show I recommend it it's great show He was character. What character is does he play plays the DA the district attorney? Yeah, and he talks like like Marlon Brando like in the Godfather with like the jowls. Yeah, but he's can't like Slip his gay voice. So it's like that combined with a great plays a gay guy. No, okay

Not that I know of is he good. I don't is family. Yeah, he's gotta be Right. He looks straight oh It's hyphenated.. OT is not the last one. The... Ms. Beanie, are you sure you don't want to take my last name? You don't want to take my name? What do you mean? I'm offended.

Is he... Oh, maybe he's just British. No, he's gotta be. Oh, he's just British now. He's gotta be oh He's got sisters a dummy wait look at his family. Yeah Lutian daps daps fag beanie Like that's far as been ah, but it's fag beanie It's probably like that's Farz bin ah, but it's fag beanie Remember when there was like rumors in high school that like watch the show it's great

But what was always rumors in high school that like this what like a Jock or like a football player like Had gay sex and there was always like a video of it. We just, instead of not believing they were gay, it was always like he had his weed had to have been laced. Yeah. We just refused to believe that there was 1500 kids in our school and the only gay ones were like the three flamboyant ones who wore juicy sweatpants. There was like, we just couldn't fathom that there was other closeted gay guys in wheeling.

Impossible. Yeah, it was always his weed was laced or he was hallucinating on Salvia and thought he saw a woman. I was never like. I idolized them so much that they couldn't be. They should be taking back shots. Yeah. Yeah. I think one of them is now. Good. Yeah, great.

Good. Yeah. Good for him. I thought you were circle back to Leaky. Oh no, Leaky was, he was a pest, but I was pissed whenever Leaky BA fucking popped up because he, he was interrupting my busy world of Richard scary. What? You guys on a busy world of Richard scary no what lowly worm Busy is it a tuck cat? What is that busy? The busy world lowly worm dude nobody watched that I hate that look lowly. This is really good shit No

No, you don't remember Huck Cat. There was so many shows there was between Nickelodeon, Disney. Wait a minute, because to network. All right. Even PBS. Because I had a news joke. No one was. Wait, no one would. How would anyone know a reference

from let me know if you get a busy world of Richard Scarry. Apple cars officially dead. Its engineers have become become fuck. Apple cars officially dead. that was in the works from 2014 to 2024 its engineers have become begun a new vehicle startup Apple cars existed for years in my idea in my eyes Just ask lowly worm right

From busy world of rich. He had an apple car. What network was it on? Like PBS. No. You don't remember the busy world of Dick Scarey. No, I remember Wishbone, I remember reading Rainbow and Magic School Bus. No one was watching this. Look at this long ass Wikipedia page. In Bussytown.

Anthropomorphic animals like couscous Pepe Lagang stair Sam and Dudley Sneef and sniff That was for like the kids who would play with the toy bird that you could balance on the beak. That was me That was I fucking loved doing out of my finger. You're definitely doing that. I bet you 90% of our audience remembers this The busy world. I'd rather play. Was it popular? Horribly. I don't remember. Richard scary. I never saw this. Yeah. What was Richard scary? I wish he married into the OT family as well. Dick. Dick fag scary. Dick scary is enough.

Dick scary is a great name. That is a great day. I can't believe you don't remember this. No, and I have a pretty good memory of like. Old children shows. What are the other characters? Wait, so it's about lonely worm. He's either lowly, lowly, sorry.

Lonely worm. I was thinking of you. Sorry Wait, scroll down read. I want to see the characters Mr. Frumble Bananas gorilla bananas gorilla was in there. I'm sure that was a crushes roles gorilla sure that was exactly what you think it Stewart stone played Kenny bear Reading it backwards The actor's names were the characters Kenny bear voice Stewart stone. Yeah, you thought any bear was not the character Kenny bear was the character you thought that Rudolph van flugel played Peter and Peter while wait will men mr. Fix it

He was huge. He was great. Dude, this was a huge, huge thing. It had a computer game I played too. Smolls. Our next partner has truly made a positive impact. Set this one out. Our next partner has truly made a positive impact on the most important person in my life. No, I'm not talking about Nick. I'm talking about my cat. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

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Last, when you didn't have smalls and I went to your apartment, it smelled like shit and tuna. Now just. It smells, yeah, now that she is on smalls Listen cats only get to enjoy so much their diet is pretty much their life See what I'm saying feed them good quality food And they will probably live longer be healthier happier more active more friendly to you

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So it is humane until they're butchered. You can get customized box plans delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping. It's humanely raised no antibiotics. No hormones Sign up for butcher box today by going to butcher box comm slash untold Unto LD and use code untold at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone-in chicken thighs top sirloins or salmon And every box for an entire year plus 20 per $20 off butcher box comm slash untold Use code untold. I'm what I was watching two different survivors simultaneously like one that came out in

2003 and one that came out in 2022 like right after The pandemic yeah The difference is insane. In 2003, the guys were just sexually harassing the woman. They were like, let me touch your tits. That's what they say. Johnny Fairplay, like, let me touch

your tits. And they're like, when the women would shower, they would all just watch them. And then when the guys didn't watch them shower, like they'd be like, oh, these guys are really respectful at this camp.

Because they wouldn't watch them shower. Just like shitting on women, like they were just taking it. Then in 2022, every cast member is sexually ambiguous and got bullied to smithereens in high school. And they would all just play the sob story, like overlaid with sad music. Like how about they just got bullied like crazy. And they were all like-

And you just can't tell what they are. It's like the weakest people in the world. Yeah. Which one's more entertaining? So I watched, the Pearl Islands was very entertaining. Pearl Islands is- What year is that? One of the best shows.

This was 2003. So good. This guy, Johnny Fairplay, he was the one like one like her he pretended he pretended his grandma was dead. Yeah Grandma died to perfection. Did he win? He got third which was insane because it was like just a buffoon a sexual ultimate antagonizer He would just get he did he was one of those people that enjoyed that Wait people like that big burly guy hurly. Yeah, he's a beast. And then in twenty twenty two, like the first person

eliminated was a trans dude, not because they voted him out, but because he forgot is like. The they forgot his medicine or something. Really? Had to leave the old the the prizes in the old ones, like Pearl Islands, that season, the prizes were the best. Like one of them was like a Chevrolet Avalanche. And it was just like a very. Yeah, that one mid-level car.

Oh yeah, so good. Oh yeah. But at the time, it was incredible. Like one of them was a VHS player. Everything about it was just so nostalgic. It was fucking awesome. That was cool because that's when they used to go and do themes, like the whole theme of the Pearl Islands.

It was a pirate theme. Now they just do it all in one location. Props has got like a McMansion and it's all in Fiji now. Yeah, it's every single one. I just watched the most recent. It's very good. It's still amazing. I similar. I watched it was in Fiji.

Love Island. Oh, yeah. And it's a damn shame. One of the guys that came in third, they don't have their phones on their island. And the last day he's about to get his phone back, somebody leaked a picture of his butthole. What? Somebody leaked his butthole.

And then as soon as he gets his phone back, all his notifications are just like, yeah man, your butthole leaked. So what happened? I feel like that's like kind of a not embarrassing thing to have leaked. Like the parody and buttholes are crazy. Like everyone's is the same. And then like you're not going to make it get made fun of if it's small.

I guess it's the opposite of a dick. Yeah. It's huge. Yes. Huge. Yeah, that would be embarrassed. I would be embarrassed. I don't think it was huge.

If it was huge. I don't even know if my butthole leaked. I would be able to identify it. I've never seen mine. Yeah. Yeah Wait, yeah, we've talked about this. Yeah, but like Yeah, the butthole is the exact opposite of a penis in every way But if it's so if it was like if you brag about I think I would be embarrassed if it was a little too tight Yeah Like yeah, like that's dainty.

Yeah, like cute. You don't want a cute butthole. Yeah, it has to be like porridge. But I think, I think. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be like the chair Little Red Riding Hood picked out. Yeah.

But I think, if you could, it's easier to masculinize a tiny butthole than feminize a giant asshole. Cause you can just crud it up a little bit, I guess. Yeah, I don't know anything about the wear and tear or state of my asshole, visually. One of us could have a huge one. Probably.

No, not me. Not me. I've felt it and made estimations at its worst. I always cope, that's probably not even a visible bump. My asshole is like the ocean where it's like 10% explored. That's oh hell that's a large amount. Yeah. What?

Let's think about how much your asshole has been explored. So you're 32 times 365 equals 11,680 days times 0.1. So your asshole has been explored for 1,168 days. Probably cumulative. Oh, fuck. Yeah. You whipped out the calculator fast on that. that was some damaging. Yeah. Oh my god I was curious over a thousand days worth of your asshole being exposed Your assholes 10%

Saying only 10% of the of the asshole Not 10% of my time is that exploring my asshole So confused why you were going with days. He went crazy. Yeah. Okay. I'm like discovering new shit. Oh, mine, oh, with your finger?

Yeah. Yours isn't. You were shitting one day and I knew it was you, but where was it? It was here. was it it was here could have been anywhere Anywhere shit everywhere you wipe loudly and not because you make a noise with your like mouth or any it like makes a loud noise when you wipe Yeah, why how does that wipe hard why I like the feeling I? Don't wipe well, but I wipe hard

Like get so much toilet paper and make like a fucking ball out of it Would you rather wipe well or hard it's like if you're looking? Scrape you go, and I'm not actually you ball it so it's like it's not even Covering all the surface area. No. It's not going into the asshole and like getting the poop out of there It's just yeah, well you go back and forth Yes, you see that's what it sounded like it was like this. Yeah This is what I heard in the bathroom like I'm Scrubbing a table it sounded so dry

That's not would you rather wipe well or hard well yeah Don't just do that instead. I don't you just do that instead? I don't know. Oh, my God. You just like the friction. I do. It feels good. Kyle, you want to talk about pubes? Or lack thereof?

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You live with your significant other, as do I. I'm forced to shave outside. She sends you out back. Sends me out back. One of the days I was out back, shaving my cock and testicles, and rainstorm comes in. Usually, I would be concerned. Now.

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Dickhead of the week can be anything or anybody. Yeah. All people, animals, any living thing, any character, any fictional character. So it's endless well. Yes. It's not a Pokemon, is it? It is a Pokemon. It happens to be a Pokemon.

There's two. It's tied for Dick ticket of the week. The first is Sunkern. It's a fucking Charlie Brown ass seed. I guess it's like a corn kernel with a sprout on its head.

Lowest stats of any Pokemon I believe. Exactly. Sunkern. I'm gonna admit I believe. Exactly. Sun Kern. No. I'm gonna admit it guys, Sun Kern sucks. Yeah, you can admit. I can admit this one's the first. What does it do?

Nothing. No nose, no ears. Abysmal. Stupid brown stripes. It's cute. Not right. What even is it? Is it a corn kernel or is it a flower?

They don't have Sun Kern, that's short for kernel. It's just so lazy. No it's not, dude, you couldn't fucking think of? Sun Kern, that's short for kernel. It's just so lazy. No, it's not, dude. You couldn't fucking think of that. No, that sucks. That shit is a lotte in a cup. It's cheesy, it's corny, and it has no ear. I can't argue that.

A lotte in a cup, bro. I can't argue that. Sun Kern. It's a lotte in a cup, bro. I can't argue that. Sun curd. It's a lotte in a cup. It's cheesy, corny, and it has no ear. For emphasis, thank you. The next one, I am so disappointed with the creative process of this one because it has so much potential.

Wait, this one's a Pokemon 2? It's a Pokemon 2. Holy. Its name is Delibird. I know Delibird. And it's just a bird.? It's a Pokemon too. Holy. Its name is Delibird. I know Delibird. And it's just a bird. It's like a Christmas bird. No, its tail is-

It has a big sack of- That's its tail. That's not creative. Its tail, it holds like a bag, a Santa bag. Endless imagination to create whatever you want. Say you come up with Delibird and you just make it a bird. I will defend deli bird. I made my own deli bird.

What do you mean? Yeah, it's a pastrami sandwich, the toucan beak in a propeller yarmulke. That is pretty good. I started it. Wait, you actually have it drawn? Yeah. It's horrifying. No way.

That's draw me on Rye with a beak and it flies with its propeller. It's Yamacopter. That's Yamacopter. And it squirts mustard gas at Stein Pals. See, like don't like... It just pisses me off so much that you just make it a bird with a sack tail. They give it other creative magic thousands and they mythical features.

There's a there's an iron version of this, I believe. It just stores food in his tail. Can you find the iron deli bird? I think it's like a there's a cool. What about that? Yeah. Is that cooler? No, that's that's like a There's a cool what about that? Yeah, is that cooler? No, that's that's just a bird with a toy Like bird like it's it's like you lessened a bird like a bird being able to fly is already way cooler and more magical than I'm a sack walking with those bombs out of the bombs. Yeah could be Delibird had the best Pokemon Stadium to

minigame in my opinion So credit to Delibird enough time has passed Kyle Where we could talk about? my first New York roommate if you'd like we could talk about. My first New York roommate, if you'd like. I thought you didn't have a roommate. I was supposed to have one. OK, you know, I remember.

I don't know anything about this. When I first got the job, there was a mutual friend who was at the time living with his girlfriend. And he was just like, we're not ready to live together yet so like you and I can get a place I was like for sure because I couldn't afford to live alone and But he was living with his girlfriend. Yeah, but just temporarily because he had just moved there as well and then I got there and

like the Couch already had the blanket and pillow on it and I was like, oh, thanks man. He was like no, that's my spot We're broken up. So I was with his like him and his estranged girlfriend for like my first week And I remember you were both sleeping on the couch because I asked come to crash I heard I did everything but invite you to come stay at mine boy. Did you you're just like listen, man Let me know if you need anything and I mean anything. I'm like, yeah, I'm just pretty uncomfortable here I know and you were just like yeah again. I just let me know. You just kept on saying anything. And I wasn't going to ask. And you knew I was. Yeah. But my first night there, my first I slept, woke up in

the morning to the bottom of my foot being tickled. What I think is a funny move. But I opened my eyes and he has like breakfast in his hand, but he's only talking to me like Morty from Rick and Morty. I think it's still fun. And he's like, Hey, Nick, morning, Nick, got to have the most important meal of the day. I'm just like, Oh my God. And then I was just like, okay, maybe this guy there's, I have a saga that happened that I could divulge. I know. Yeah. I'm familiar and I

hadn't even had my first day at barstool and I was like I can't live with you man and I go into work My first day at barstool very under qualified very afraid very nervous And there's two dozen long stem roses on my desk with like chocolates from him Yeah, I'll see what a fuck. I remember I don't know we went in at night and those were waiting for you for the next morning I said what the fuck is that I was pissed Yeah, we have what else? Yeah, I mean we've hung out with him plenty of time yeah

Wait, so did you not go back only one night? I stayed a week. And you moved into a hotel. Yes, and I had no dollars, not one, and I still was paying to live in a hotel because like I didn't have any friends there to offer me their couch. Yeah. Okay, I didn't have space either. I was dead broke.

Yeah. I had a big couch. Yeah. You couldn't fit in there. And was there breakfast every morning? No. That was just like a welcome. There were highlights, but yeah, that felt good to get.

Yeah, you never invited me. I invited you to Galantis. You invited me to Galantis, which I was in way over my head there. I saw you parachute Molly out of of you swallowed a bunch of paper towels Yeah, I was so bad at that. I Didn't even know what parachuting was and I don't think you did either No, I kept trying like saw someone you were putting the mall you did it coolie once and they wrapped it up And it was perfect. It was like what is parachuting

Do you swallow the rat is wrapping up like the the raw molly the dust or the rocks in like a very? small piece of toilet paper You didn't have any toilet. It's wallowing. It would be like the size. It would be tightly wrapped to be like the size of a pill I Couldn't figure out the when you were using a bounty paper towel because you would never I was I was just like every time I tried it I would just choke on a piece of towel and I was like then like end up just swallowing a little bit of it yeah imagine coughing with trying to

parachute Molly and it just looks like LeBron's pregame. Did I? Yeah. Did I leave you at that concert? Probably. Yeah. I was just standing by the bar. Nobody else was there, like, at the bar. Everybody else was just... And I was like, this is the best feeling that humans can experience. And it's just me just rendered mute, rendered immobile, eyes looking like a wallaby.

It's like, this is the best. Like, no, it wasn't the best. And I was wasted on booze. Like, that's not the best. Would you do it again? Yeah, I'm waiting. But you're going to Lollapalooza? It's been so long, but I think it would rock.

Yeah, give it a shot. You don't crave like you the extremes of feelings I? Think I've the only extremes of feelings I have are like negative. Yeah, those are kind of like crazy though Yeah, I don't know I don't do you do you miss It's like I don't know what's last time you blacked out Like, I don't know. When was the last time you blacked out? New York. I blacked out this past weekend. You black out a lot.

No. That's kind of embarrassing. I had a Guardians game. It's because he doesn't have gluten. He has no barrier. I remember I blacked out. I forgot about this. I blacked out at a Guardians game, I came home to Chicago and at my door, I bought a pair of scrubs. And I think it was so I could,

so somebody would offer me a seat on the bus that I take into work. Is that bad? Yeah. You would never do that. You would never do that. I did it when I was blacked out, but I met a guy at the game

that tried to poach me from Barstool and he was like younger than me. And he was like, I'm starting up my own, but we just haven't gotten traction yet. And he showed me the Instagram and it only had him as a follower. What did he offer you? A high position or?

Not even a high position. I was like still well lower on the totem pole than him at this company. And he, I think he might've offered me like eventually when it happened, stock options, which would have been great. Considerate. He was more fucked up than me, but yeah. What was he doing? And then he DM me after the game.

He said, think about the offer. I think I was into it at the time. You were probably giving him so much. Yeah man that sounds awesome. That's a great idea. Like some I'm like proud of you. I don't want to air him out too much because he was a nice guy but his name was Pete but he was like but you can call me VIP and I was I he had me hooked yeah he had me fucking hooked if I was shit-faced and someone did that to me and they said I'm VIP I would yeah I heard him out I would roll with I was like I heard him I was like okay this is yeah something uh-huh I always hear dudes out even if they're mean dudes are mean to you not really dudes are mean to you. Oh Women are mean to me

Why they just don't regard my existence, which is fine now? Yeah, I don't care but it still can be like a little bit like damn like I Think you get regarded No, no, I don't think which is like perfect like I'm do you ever someone I go out with the guys and just Dress think you get regarded. I don't know, I don't think. Which is like perfect. Do you ever have someone who would go out with the guys and just dress nice and get regarded? Yeah. I'm just kidding.

I think you scare women. I put them off. I put off people, yeah. Well no, cause. Oh yeah, we were out together two weekends ago and the guy came up to you and you and then while he was leaving he was like, okay, I know you're not social. So See ya. You guys remember that right? Yeah, that's not nice. That's not my vibe

I'm a con. I'm a good conversation. You are right But you have this whole history of online presence where you are this is that it or is that is it a demeanor thing? I Think it's mostly the online presence the only way they know you is that you're like a weird awkward person But you are a good conversationalist. You're a good conversationalist, but like guys out guys go out for hoes your ho repellent Mm-hmm. It's cuz of how you stand and walk Yes, no, I think it's I think it's also what you say And what I say, but my facial expression think it's also what you say and it's what you say and what I say

But my facial expression is my facial expressions are pretty lively and like no no present no no you're damn near It's like going out with a photograph. It's It's like it's weekend at Bernie's when we go out. It's I feel bad because you're the funniest guy I felt but I felt I was gonna I didn't want to like mention it and like make things weird But I felt that that whole gonna I didn't want to like mention it and like make things weird But I felt that that whole time we were at that bar. I kind of felt invisible Even when we're playing cornhole I kept like shouting catch phrases and like trying to pump people up and no one would even like Look at me

You're a social flashback Yeah, I yell clear before you go in the room. I kept like saying phrases like, what were these? Yeah. Lorna doon. Like I thought that would be a funny. You were, yeah.

I was like hyping people up. Like you got the, yeah. It's like, nothing. It's because you say things, you do say things. You put out, you put out a word, but then you do leave the area. Like you say something and then you, then you vacate. then you vacate like you'll write I don't want to

see people I don't want to feel the feedback it is like you are throwing a literal flashbang you also unprompted took the lychee out of my girlfriend's drink and did your elbow trick with it and then put it back in yeah which is I guess that I guess that's not impressive Elbow trick was like undefeated for so but you also put your hand way too deep in the drink The elbow trick and the peekaboo with adults was like my to go don't do But they were always working and I like went back and I feel like I lost it all I was counting laughs You got 12 He got three and I got zero

but I think you get Post laughs like they'll wake up the next morning be like that guy was funny I mean you don't ever get it's like I said it's like what was the fucking Cut off his ear. Wait, what? Who's the artist that cut off his ear and go? Yeah He died before he realized he was famous You're gonna die before you realize you're funny No, cuz I get a lot of I could see the positive is always on the internet and I'm like let me translate this to a Real-life setting and it just it doesn't work. What was what was the cookies thing? You were saying with cornhole? I didn't get it. I

Do it when we play basketball too you throw up a shot and you say like cookies or I Thought that was a thing You also say I miss you also say Aisha Aisha yeah, I think that's the best one But I need you to because I feel like people okay. Yes, it is the best one But why because it's curry? Curry taking a shot Aisha You say a little bit differently I issue that's I say you say like a gravelly voice mm-hmm and maybe yeah

Maybe it just it takes a little bit for people to get Yeah, I'll try like simpler things I guess like what I Don't know I Guess I don't need to try it. I don't need a script. What do you want to be like? Social butterfly. No I'm not by any means but

Do you feel like you could talk to anybody about anything? I'm good at matching whatever people's interests are I'm in a theology all right let's let's roleplay Okay, hey, man. You're Kyle. I like what's up Yeah, what's up? Nothing man. I'm just uh sup brother How we doing appreciate you? Is that why you're coming up? No, no, no your girlfriend's talking to mine, and so I just figured we'd pass the time. What do you do?

Long story. It's like some, like an internet company. Cool. I actually am writing a book about the Old Testament. Oh, that's actually awesome. I went to Catholic school all my life. Why'd you say actually? Why'd I say actually? Yeah, why'd you say actually all my life why I say actually yeah, why'd you say actually? Because I just said that but it was I went to Catholic school Kindergarten through 10th grade. Oh, no way. So yeah, so you're like, have you read have you read the Bible? Is your is your book gonna be like?

Just an overview of like the history or yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to modernize the Old Testament. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, like, so give me an example. Well, you've read it. Like, what's, you've read, obviously, your Well First. Like, bring up your favorite Bible passage. Something from Amos? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, from Amos, that's a big book. I mean, I like the whole thing. I like the whole thing. I like the mess, the general sentiment. Are you going to touch on like. Obviously, Eden, like Adam and Eve. Yes. And how are you going to modernize that?

Fuck, I'm not as good as you. Yeah, I think you did really good there. I think you did really good. Thanks. Yeah, that was that was I feel feel I'm not like everybody has a friend They're embarrassed to take out or you got to keep an eye on him. You're not one of those guys. No I'm not they're not that but you are it's not like a woe is me thing. I'm like still a stud You're like a Roomba you're like a Roomba when we go out

You get like kind of weave this weird thing where like you kind of are in it with us and then you'll sort of drift and then you got to go back home to recharge in a corner. Yeah. You are always on a spot. It's a corners. And then you kind of sit there and then except when we went to Kansas, you were you were hopping frat to frat. I know it was a blast. Beer pong roofs Yeah, that's what your best that you need to be around kind of athletes

Like sorta athlete he's been you need about kids Yeah, you would actually cry I did like as a camp counselor you would you would be the cool counselor Yeah, no, I believe that for sure What else you got Anything Rudy you moved I did. How is it fucking awful? Why it should be a good thing it should be exciting thing because like moving I mean it is good the new apartments fine But like the thing about moving that's so weird is that it makes you resent The place you live because of all the bullshit you have and then it makes you regret the place you've moved into

So like you're just in this period of hatred for everything you hired movers I know but like getting all that ready for them Oh boxing boxing everything and the amount of shit that I throw away when I move is unbelievable when it's stuff I need yeah, but I threw away full rolls of toilet paper Oh, yeah, Austin like windbreakers and flannels down the trash chute. Yes felt horrible about it idea. I threw away I threw away full bottles of shampoo Yeah, so much shit like that that it's just not worth moving. Are you staying in your spot? Yeah, I love it Amenities the amenities are nice. There was there was murderers that lived there. Yeah, I guess still

Any update on that or they just brush it under the rug I Don't know I guess they maybe they found the wrong guy Cuz you don't know you don't get getting the SWAT team standoff and just end it without anything happening What teams stand off and just end it without anything happening? But you don't can you fuck up that much just just the wrong guy it was late So maybe they're just like we gotta go Wrap it up for tonight Stay there gonna trust you to stay here. It did not move. We're gonna pick it up at 6 a.m. So make sure you're up setting alarm

My dad claims to have killed two different flies With his left and right hand at the same liar said he did it in high school and everyone remembers it. Who's everyone? I don't know your dad. He just devoted like an hour of our dinner the other day to just Trying to convince us that happened So were you willing to be like, alright fine. It's real or were you pushing back? I actually get like I was like more people have probably climbed Mount Everest than done that And they're all Japanese. Yes, I was either. Yeah he uh

He got quote tweeted by Jamel Hill yesterday. I know he sent it to the group chat. Okay. Yeah. What do you keep calling Kamala overweight? A little overweight, a little overweight, too much neck fat. Is that what he said? We'll be chilling in Oregon.

I'll just see him on the couch. Phone up to his face smirk Typing with one finger. Yeah. Yeah Has he gone do you think he could go too far? Yeah, he's my sister is like it's a running thing like is this too far and I'm always like it's close He did in all Asians look the same joke. Yeah, that's I didn't even see that. Yeah far I made him delete one like a year ago. What was it?

He's he's getting bold. What's he saying? Just like a lot like very misogynistic things. But under the guise of irony, which is like half ironic, I don't know. He's like he's who I wish I was. He's me without feedback anxiety. Yeah, because he doesn't care. Doesn't also he has nothing to lose.

Yeah, yeah, he's retired. Like maybe maybe your sister cuts him off if he says something to fuck. Yeah, but you're going to stick around. You might provoke him to do it. I'm like prepared for that and being a villain I Do think before the end of you the year Your dad may tweet

soft a Soft a like the n-word with the a Just better not You don't I could Doesn't have the same sting it used to people are just teeing off on that people are saying it more Yeah, like Andrew Tate just says the N word now. He's half black Destiny says it that's he says hilarious People were saying he had destiny. I have the same build. Oh, you know that picture of him on the beach

Yeah, yeah, I got tagged in that relentlessly you do it annoyed me It almost weirdly how it happens to people that are like very intelligent smart like I'm not all the blood and he's not You're very witty and good with words and I guess but like articulate well All the blood goes to your head and you look like someone you look like a paralyzed person that somehow figured out how to walk I do look paralyzed. Yeah Destiny more so yeah He's a little bit more compact. Yeah, I do. I'd like he's like Terry Shivo, but I think I'd look natural as fuck in a pretty heavy-duty wheelchair I

think yeah Anything else? That I know Sign off Anything else? Right now oh sign off I Almost got in a fight in Oregon Did this I could tell you like great you've been like thinking about saying this for like 30 minutes now I did this bike delivery service, and we got ebikes so Five of them, so it's like a big hassle. The guy comes with a big trailer.

And I forgot about the pickup time. And we were in Crater Lake. And on the ride home, I fell asleep, took a nap, woke up to 10 missed calls, and six text messages of him trying to... drop off these bikes. No, pick the bikes up. Oh, what did he, this dude hit me with a please, please, please pick up the car. He hit me with three, please, please, please Pick up the phone. And I'm disoriented and that just destroyed me. So I couldn't handle.

What did you say back? I was freaking out. You don't wanna get hit with please, please, please. Answer your phone. This guy's freaking out, leaving me voicemails. I had like an aggression attack. So what did you say? I was getting like my, I needed to send him the code

to get in to pick up the box of helmets. And my dad needed to send me that. And instead of just telling me the code, like he like screenshot like the websites guide. And then he started emailing it to me. I'm like, fucking text it to me. This guy is sending me, please, please, please, he needs this ASAP. And I lost it, and I felt really bad.

And then like my fucking five-year-old nephew is like, Uncle Kyle's drunk. Uncle Kyle, why is Uncle Kyle acting like that? My brother-in-law is like read the room Henry and we're like He doesn't know what that fucking means five My dad tries to like hand my sister my dad. He told his five-year-old son to read the room. Yeah He keeps and he keeps going on a Kyle's drunk and I'm like, he's telling me please please please We gotta get these bikes. My dad tried to hand my sister cheese in the car, like loose cheese, and I refused to touch the cheese from his palm.

Was it shredded? That's gross. Like your palms gross. You've been snacking all day. Your hands are dirty. I'm not touching that cheese. I'm not handing off that cheese. So what your dad was handing you the cheese to hand to your sister? And we're like, oh sister want the cheese or like ten minutes away I'm like we have to slow down I don't want to get there and talk to this guy that's gonna be awkward did did you see the guy yeah he was the nicest guy in the world okay he was real flustered did you have the bikes with you?

They were outside so he loaded up all the bikes. He just needed to get in the house to get the helmets helmets He's friendly as hell like were you drunk no, I was dead sober. That's why I was so fucking pissed Did you say anything to your nephew? Yeah, I just nothing now Did you say anything to your nephew? Yeah, I just nothing now. Oh, man, he just like the guy just talked to me for like Oregon. People talk. They're chatty. Don't wear a brand. Don't wear clothes with brands or text on it because they'll bring up something about it.

What was your shirt? It wasn't him, but like just going around like outdoors, guys who moved to Oregon love to chat. We finally wrapped up this conversation where we both apologized. He's like, all right, I'll get out of your hair now. Getting in his car. By the way, 20 years ago, I was a journalist in Seattle and I wasn't in a great place in life.

Then he just went on. And like our waitress was like, how's the Caesar salad with salmon? And I'm like, oh, it's really good. Thanks. And she was like 20 Not 20 like I was in Belize for a couple weeks a few years ago. They just tell you their life story That would get old so oh my god. Yeah, and they call sandwiches Sandos in sunglasses Sunnies other than that. They're great That's like almost like Australian right yeah brekki mm-hmm oh Man I'm glad you're back. You should uh you're not are you sober still? No, I drink pinot grigio yesterday, And you had a high noon at like nine in the morning.

I sipped it. There was for an, it was for an ad. Oh, okay. Okay. You're back. I drank Pinot this weekend too. Mook did too. It's pretty good.

I think it's the best. Have you tried it? Pinot Grigio? Yeah. I've had it. I don't really seek it out. It's perfectly sweet. I think that's gonna be a new thing.

I was more of a rose guy for a while. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Fuck yeah. All right. Cool.