A New Untold Story - Nick Bergeron - A New Untold Story: Ep. 408

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

some wheeling landmarks, kyle dean, and bradley hughes ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/UNTOLD. Mando - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo ANUS at ShopMando.com! #mandopod Butcherbox - Use code UNTOLD at https://butcherbox.com/untold to receive an additional $20 off. Want more Anus? Check out the links below https://linktr.ee/anuspodcastYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. Five, four, three, two, one. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say, no, that's a new untold story. Hey, is that story over told? No, baby. It's a new untold story.

I knew untold story podcast presented by nobody episode for 409 408 shit 49 is a cleaner and a Beach Boys song. We'll wait till yeah. We'll see you next week We do want to know what 408 is. Is that another like wait till we'll see you next week. We do want to know what four oh eight is. Is that another like a website not found? No. I searched the forums for the keyword four oh eight expecting to find some fun stats. Maybe like a running back rushed for four hundred eight yards. Yeah. Like a Negro League player bad at four oh eight. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the top result. Florida youth pastor. You know it's gonna be south. It's gonna go south after that. It starts bad with Florida, and you're like, this can't get any worse. And then it goes to youth pastor? That's red alarm. You don't want the headline to start

with Florida youth pastor charged with 408 counts of child porn recently. Wow, that's a. In a numera de paje de rio. It's never two or three counts. No. It's never 16 counts. No, no, it is.

It's always an amount of child porn that needs to be tactically hoarded and stashed. Those guys fill up the Pokedex of taunts. It's always an amount that would have to like spill out of your file. Literally, like the computer has to be like heavier with the amount that they have. It like melts the laptop into silicon ooze.

It's always hundreds. Has there ever been a non-stingy pedophile? Those boys are collectors, completionists. They're horny, they can't get rid of it, they can't recycle any of it. There's a few guys out there that are 100%-ed, every bit. It has to be all of the child. They're like collecting a set.

Yeah, yes, yes. Do they charge it by the piece of media? I think. And like, 408 counts. Oh man, who counted that? Yeah. Talking about the most. Dude, I'd love to fuck with that guy

at the police department, just be like, 108, 300, as he's counting, he has to start over, counting the kid porn. Whoever, he deserves a trillion dollars compensation for counting that. Oh my god. A Vaughn. Dude, that's the count.

He works now with the detective. As soon as Sesame Street goes off the air, he's gonna go work for a detective. Oh man. Imagine having to upgrade your iCloud storage for that. Yeah, you have to pay. Oh, yeah, I'm looking to upgrade. Dude.

Dude. 408 counts. Hard Drive is the worst name for that. That's like... Oh my god. That is so much. It's always like all over the floor too. Guys have never had a megabyte of that. It is always in the terrors.

That's absurd. That's the only 408 you had? have never had a megabyte of that it is always in the terrors that's that's absurd that's the only 408 you had all I got nobody's ever rushed damn a shame a real shame how long is the sentence of that I don't know I didn't look into it but he was also like a youth tennis coach a teacher so he was lit. He was in all of his daily routines. He was in heaven oh 409 wins for Joe Paterno Thought I was gonna line up the literal devil yeah, it'll be next week. It'll be next week Joe Puff 409 wins today Happy birthday Sean Mendez. Oh noted homosexual. Dating a 51 year old chiropractor. What?

Who's a woman. Oh that's the most unbelievable part. She's dating a 51? She's gonna detonate his spinal cord. She's gonna rearrange his guts today. Is that actually true he's dating a 51. Yeah. Yeah, that's a cover-up. Oh, yeah. He's yeah, he's gay. That's the day is long. Happy burp day to me. Oh my god. Yeah, if you're listening to this, I will be. Kyle was either

reacted poorly to the anesthesia and never came back or you can burp. reacted poorly to the anesthesia and never came back or you can burp yeah and then it I'm excited you're being completely put under for a cannot wait it's a feel like I would fuck with general anesthesia yeah I think you might get it's like a budding addiction I feel like it's awesome you're just going for I cannot wait it's essentially time travel is it not awesome yes oh my god the only break you really get from existing sleep Now you still dreaming you're still kind of conscious. You don't dream when you're put under Nothing out and back. Is it like one second to you?

Yeah, kind of but I got put under for my wisdom teeth. Yeah, oh So how was that I don't really remember yeah, I came out loopy as fuck. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, I got white boy Rick He's my legal adult chaperone And I went in for pre-op today, and I had to like write his name down And I was like I don't know any of his name first middle or last all you know I know it's not Rick It's like Kevin his name's Kevin. I put down Kevin. No last name? You just put Kevin? You're gonna be looking like Hodor and fucking Bran coming out of there.

Yeah, it's gonna be unbelievable. He's legally obligated to stay with me for 24 hours. I didn't tell him that. Just to make sure I could... because they said like swallowing is borderline difficult if not Strange which I'm not excited about that's true. They said it's gonna be a Extremely strange like you're gonna feel like you're choking every time I need a post-op video for me. Do you want my throat you have a picture of your throat? Yeah? May I May I? Ew dude!

Wait what's a black? See what it looks like? It's horrendous. It's the ugliest thing in the world, my throat. I'm guessing all throats, but mine... Dude that looks like the last frame of an alien movie before the face catchers get on you. Can you flash that to goldfinger as well? Yeah it looks like Jabba Desolegic to you Ray. What is that? His Excellency of Tatooine.

Had to get that out. Dude that's so gross. Dude that's so gross.ency of Tatooine. Had to get that out. Dude, that's so gross. To capture that, it was horrific. They put this cord through my nose hole. Oh my god. Oh my gosh, so far.

Oh, I hate this. A cord longer than Jared's saltimachia, down my nose. It was the worst. And he made me like sing and swallow blue applesauce. Really? Yeah, but I'm so excited. You were at the Bastion Voice Institute. World renowned Dr. Bastion.

How did you pull Jared Saltellimachia? Just thinking of long names. And that's probably one of the longest. It's one of the longer ones. Let's just Instagram this Kyle's throat Let's throw that up. I'm kind of embarrassed. It is it's a horrific leak It's so ugly. Would you rather like your dick or rather on my dick look? Oh disgusting. It looks cancerous Yeah, that is black. Yeah, I don't like it being black. Yeah, I don't think you want any of your innards to be

Black throat dude, you're black throat. Hey, I'm the throat wo want any of your innards to be black throat dude your black throat Hey, I'm the throat woat then I'll take that title Shit oh Yeah, it's like a build-up your butthole leaking would be better than this. Yeah, that is embarrassing I know I Like how they take some pictures of this and throw it up just like Kyle's throw. I like how they threw in One where they fucked up, and they put a blurry one in there was it was it moving fast you try to do a boomerang Gagging I couldn't handle the cord down my fucking nostril that somehow went to my throat. They took a picture of you gagging

Yeah Look at that and one so will look different is the one on the right looks like you swallowed an entire Pringle. Oh no, that's a Cheez-It. And it got stuck in my throat. I had to do applesauce Cheez-It water. That's a Cheez-It? Top right. Oh, ew. That looks like a... Like a fucking... What is that?

That looks like a... Like something what is that that looks like? Something but not Yeah, that's uh Wait here hand it to mook. We look we like to share your throat. Yeah sure my throat What if a fan contributes this that's gross oh my god Nick it's hard to jack off to Nearly impossible If a fan contributes this, that's gross. Oh my god, Nick. It's hard to jack off to. Nearly impossible. Nearly impossible. Oh, that looks alien.

Where's the Cheeto? The doctor was so dry. He was like, oh, and see, you are a content creator. What type of content are you creating? That's what I have to put that for my profession content. Yeah, I never know what our podcast host I don't know which is worse both bad. So did you have to what type of content? I'm like, it's like comedy Well, very well then Never mind. It's geographic musings and observations.

That is what it is. Right before the show started, I asked Feitelberg for his address and he just sent it to me. No other texts. Do you wanna send him a gazebo? Badly. You wanna buy a gazebo on Amazon and send it to him. Yes. It's a nice thing

He has a patio, but I don't know if whoever put it up See you pitch sending a bunch of garbage cans. No, I want to send him a gazebo. That's a great gift It is a good gift polycarbonate gazebo. There's one on Amazon right now Does it come with the assembly person no no I would be buying a slave They have that you can yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, I'm gonna buy them a gazebo. I Did not buy a slave. I bought an assembly per yeah the the Lausanne home outdoor patio gazebo 10 by 13 with expansion bolts 218 how much is it 218 bucks right there that's too cheap for a gazebo should we get them a nicer one? Let's give them a little bit nicer

I don't know that doesn't look great. I Mean there's a gazebo sale. I'm gonna get it mm-hmm for Fidelberg. Let's send one to Fidelberg one to Portnoy yeah, I Think he would appreciate that you got to text Portnoy for his address. Oh This is a lightning deal it ends in two hours. Yeah, yeah hold on before we can yeah, I'm gonna just Portnoy for his address. Oh. Oh, this is a lightning deal. It ends in two hours. Yeah. Yeah, hold on. Before we can, yeah, I'm gonna just send

Fiddleburger gazebo real quick. Pick somebody else to send a gazebo to, Kyle. I can send a gazebo, okay. Who you gonna do? Scroll through my contacts. Oh yeah, whoever you stop on. Stop. Victoria's study group

That's a weird last name, it's like Briana chicken fry fuck Victoria study group I gotta send her a gazebo Text-to-do that you haven't talked to in five plus years. Okay. This is like everyone. Yeah, everybody in your foot. All right, proceed to checkout.

He's gonna love it. You think so? Yeah, it's a gazebo. It's just a really good deal. Yeah. Tell him that you saw this gazebo and thought of him. It's just on sale and somebody Deserves it mm-hmm who you doing Kyle? You're doing the crossword right

You're doing the fucking crossword I'm trying to be more relaxed and loose on the pod you're doing the fucking crossword dude. I'm trying to be more relaxed and loose on the podcast. You're doing a crossword Yeah, I'm trying to not think too hard, okay 408 is the area code of San Jose Okay, what do you got a 13th largest city almost a million people? It's not a city. There is no metropolitan identity in San Jose there's a like an amalgamation of wealthy neighborhoods San Jose it should be if you think about what it is, it's probably the nicest weather in the in the world On the bay near the mountains, filled with young multimillionaires and billionaires.

It should be a party haven. There should be extravagant venues for hedonism. There should be hoes flown in on a regular basis, but it's so boring. San Jose, is that boring? No one's flocking. Yeah, what do you know about San Jose? Tech nerds? Not even nerds.

Nerds are passionate. These guys are dweebs and geeks. Oh. And they're smug. My mistake. And they're soulless. And they work, just they just work. That's all they do.

They have a bus that picks them up and they work from the bus on the way to the office. Constant work. Their big like celebration is like going to Burning Man. Okay. Doing psychedelics in like a $50,000 tent. Just like riffing about concepts. Wouldn't you love that?

Yes. Just tripping with your tech boys. Like wow, like the Gmail logo looks three dimensional. That's epic. Gmail logo looks three-dimensional Then like that's epic It is cool how the envelope natural shape is an M. Oh Is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah, we want to talk about the Gmail logo. It's pretty good. Look I did not notice that

Yeah, it's good. That makes sense. It's really good. Yeah It took me so long to notice the FedEx had an arrow in it What that's that's that's first grade definitely enough. It took me so long to notice the FedEx had an arrow in it. What? That's that's that's first grade. Definitely. Yeah, for me. Yeah, look at that. And then an envelope. That's really good shit. That is good. What do you rate that as a graphic designer? Former not a graphic designer anymore.

Say eight out of 10. It's pretty good. Yeah. All right, let's take a quick break from this top 17 rank Barstool podcast to talk about game time, Kyle. Putting a lot of dudes onto events and they're happy about it. What events have you been keen to? What events have you had your eye on? Me? I just want to hit it, just a basic late summer baseball game.

You bought tickets to Green Day. Yeah, that too. You have a Trey cool t-shirt that you're wearing, right? Yeah. Or is that Mike Dirt? Mike Dirt, bassist. Sounds like a bassist sound, Dirt. More jobs should be like that. Just the sound that the job makes.

Dirt. I can't think of any others though. Neither can I. All right, yeah, buy your tickets to Green Day or the White Sox, the Blue Jays at the Cubs. They have flash deals for sudden discount zone deals for when you're feeling flexible and their lowest price guarantee.

That means if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else, Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference. Game Time is the best place for last minute seats with up to 60% off your favorite events. What are you waiting for? I'm going to buy those Cubs tickets or maybe I'll go see Metallica. That would be awesome. That'll be sick Buy right now take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account use code untold For $20 off your first purchase terms apply download the game time app today last minute tickets lowest prices guaranteed

This is my last day no, so I mean I'm gonna the office half day tomorrow for your surgery I Flying back for ruffin routing. That's right to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania But well, no, I'm flying to Pittsburgh ruffin rowdy and wheeling some wheeling. It's a real Surreal yeah, like if you would have told me five and a half years ago when I started a bar stool that one day I'd get to watch you host Ruffin Rowdy in my hometown What would be the first thing you'd say? I would be like no way. That's crazy.

Yeah. I must have got him the job. I pretended to fuck with you so heavily. I know. And I bought it. I fell a hook line and sinker. You were so charming. I was a charmer. I Pretended to fuck with you so I know Line and sinker you're so char. I was a charmer. Oh my god. I journaled about you There's no way a man can be this perfect like this nice and this good something's got a Reveal in time. I remember the first time we hung out. I was in New York cuz my sister was there for like a dance thing and

You You were like so like you wouldn't want to work at bar. So I was like nah, dude not for me You did say that you were in town for a different meeting interview. Yeah, I was Yes, I was oh My god crazy. I played you like a fiddle, but now I'm back to wheeling did any part of you want to go back? No, it's yeah, it's it's always like a dismal return yes people I like to see But it saddens me why I don't know it's this It just it's not a good nostalgia. I am going back my girlfriend's coming

nice and I'm going to show her where I grew up Austin Avenue and Hopefully we'll be able to play a game a Game when I was a kid so my street was right between two rival funeral homes Kepner and all my and you're laughing it was real 20 Austin Avenue that was my street, and if you zoom in There you oh boy flanked by two that was my street, and if you go to the top of my street

Yeah, you oh God mook dude. This is really fucking easy to do just drag the little god Drag the little guy on the street. Yeah, there you go. Maybe we have Rudy's go up there and sit What is he trying to do? Blue it they don't have to be blue for Street View here go to go to layer Now you got this beast go to layers on the bottom left Rudy you got to get up there This is gonna be horrible no no you got this listen. Go to layers on the bottom left. Rudy, you gotta get up there, this is gonna be horrible. No, no, you got this.

Listen, this is- Rudy, you have to save the show. Rudy, you better. Moog's out of breath. He just puffed the inhaler. He's kidding. I need you to run. No, no, no.

I need you to run. Rudy, sit back there and run it, dude. Sit back here, please. Rudy's afraid he won't be able to do it. I don't know if he's gonna save this. What are we trying to do? I don't know, I was just talking. I'm gonna park at the top of the street

next to the hair studio and you see the hearse coming down and you have to guess if it's going to that funeral home or that funeral home on the right. And so it's on the other side of that building. And it's a fun ass game. Yeah, but they've calmed down a lot. they used to go at each other's necks. They used to fucking hate each other It was like guerrilla marketing How so like they I don't know what that even means

But they were always doing crazy like sweepstakes. I was a captain or boy. That was the one I was rooting for me, too Oh really? Yeah. And they were like the Hatfields and McCoys. Oh my God. This is the real West Virginia Hatfields and McCoys. Except they were killing each other to drive sales. Altmeyer, it's on the other side.

They hated each other. And I remember like they would, they like sabotage one another. Mm-hmm. But they would kill their own friendly fire. Right, for more people. Yeah, for more people at the home. They're like kamikazes.

And I remember there was like a LeBron James-esque The Decision, and it was actor John Corbett. It was right after Bezos and Ramona came out. Was he in that? Yeah, he was the dad of Bezos' dad. He was Bezos' dad? Yeah, Selena Gomez. So he had to make, yeah, he had to make like a decision

of which he was gonna die in. It was like Corbett, it was like where he was going to spend eternity. Yeah, Corbett's eternal something. That was weird. I remember when he picked which one, he was just like, the next time you see me it'll be one of these places. And they were like, wait, you're never gonna come back here? And so, and he's still alive.

Married to Bo Derrick. That's a good pool. You rooted for Kepner as well? Yeah, that was my. I would just sit up at the top of the street, and this is what you'd do at the end of the day. You'd sit right there in that parking lot, and then you'd see like a procession.

You had to guess which. Yeah, it's a blast. I'd never done that. Growing up right in between those things, like I didn't realize how lucky I was growing up between two funeral homes. You had the toy and train museum. Oh my god, dude.

I remember I saw my first friend penis at the caboose to the left. My boy who grew up on that street peed on the caboose and he said, don't look. And I looked and I saw my first. My first other penis was a pissing dick He was way older than me He was a good 20 years old

Here boy, yeah, you're older boy. Don't look no he was older than me. Oh, yeah What's that? That's just a technician. Oh. That's the technicians. Oh God, dude. Yeah, dude, I remember going there for all, I remember going to the technician as a kid.

Oh yeah. Oh, boy. I've never, nobody in Wheeling has ever been to that museum. Oh, turn left. This woman only sold red dresses. Yes, Suzanne's Was in my all they did was sell red dresses zoom in on that woman Guess what she got. It's just a red dress. Yeah, that's all they sold there. You can look if you can look behind I was a red dress store. Oh

My god, what oh man that nobody oh oh white dress That must have been some sort of deal. We'll edit that out. Thanks, Mook. Oh man Have you thought are you gonna do are you gonna if your surgery goes awry are you gonna do all keppner yeah? Keppner the owner before I worked at barstow, I was kind of in between what I was going to do. He tried to poach me to work at the, like learn under his tutelage as a funeral director. And I considered it.

That scene was like an awful job. But we were at a figure-ready's restaurant and he came up to my tape, what? Figure-ready spaghetti. That was like the nicest place, that was the nicest time restaurant. I know. I remember this dude in a suit

I wore my Cincinnati Reds fitted in there, and he like threatened me. What did he say? He told me to take your hat off. Oh that is a big Oh that motherfucker. He's like either. We don't sell hot dogs here He wasn't even Italian. It was like Lebanese He was like you said he was gonna fucking shoot it off my head William Tell said he's gonna part the Red Sea Yeah Your Reds at everyone that went there thought they were in the mafia

Yeah, cuz it is it was good. It was good sauce. It was so such good sauce. You thought you were in the mafia Don't look them up. Why I think there was like a the heiress If you go to news, I think That there's Search search. Oh, yeah. Yes. Are we allowed to talk? Yeah. Yeah, cuz I don't know if she was in the wrong Um, I don't know if she was in the wrong. Um, I don't know if we can't go. Yeah. Whoa. Skewed. What is it?

The the heiress of the spaghetti heiress pointed a gun at somebody that starred in the real world. What does it does it? Yes. Didn't it say spaghetti heiress? Here, move back spaghetti errors the search just search wheeling spaghetti errors If this comes up, I believe she was spaghetti errors

Hold on go to the news again Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think she just may have just I don't know she got into an altercation with a real-world star Who amongst us yeah, she was always an angel an angel Harris Dude I wish I was a spaghetti air my dad's not even leaving me a pen-ay. I remember, um, Glennie actually blogged about this, and he told me he ended up running into her at the Barstool Bar in Nashville. No way. I was like, that's beautiful. A Spaghetti-a-ris. got a chance to meat balls No, but um I think he was in the wrong. I think he like whipped on her. He might have yeah I think I think it was uh I think it was all skewed, but just pink

Just being a literal spaghetti heiress your dad dies and just leaves you a bunch of spaghetti. A shed full of spaghetti. Cooked spaghetti. Cooked spaghetti. That's literally the plot of the man. That is the plot of the man. Oh shit. And to my beloved son I leave my rigatoni.

Spaghetti heiis is funny. That's fucking crazy. Wheeling. Wheeling restaurants. That was top tier. Yes. The Alpha. Yeah.

What else? Ernie's Esquire. Not elite. No. Ernie's Esquire was our fancy place. It's just connected to a retirement home. It's very weird, very sad home. It's very weird very sad That would be very sad like a hallway connecting it

No, it's just the same building oof. Yeah, so you walk in and you have to decide left or right What was your favorite buffet in Wheeling? I know I don't know my least favorite buffet I know everyone's least favorite the AC Yeah, they they everything was so bad. They only said that they like their big selling point was that they have air conditioning They did that was nice. It was food was inedible. It was the text textures and Consistencies I've never felt or taste it was it was a shocking. I just discovered umami the flavor it's like the fifth flavor and That that showed me new textures But shit they got in trouble when wheeling flooded that they got caught on the news

They were spraying off the muddy food with a hose And they had a change they were called super they were known for they were super buffing They were known for just poisoning people. Yeah, people still people loved buffets people love endless eats Luke is getting destroyed by the internet right now No try super buffer is it still super is it still super buffet on there Mmm But they got AC yeah that they advertise that they have AC Yeah, oh my god. They're meat sticks. What yeah harder than the LSAT

There it is. Yeah, oh yeah, right, but they have AC Good shit. Oh my god. I can't wait to go back this week. I might have to swing by there You should try it out. Is there anybody in the parking lot? Good left mook hell or go right. It looks like a... No. Yeah, everybody would just go there to donate clothes. That shit sucks.

So bad. Oh my god. My Kung Fu studio was up the street. It's now knocked down. Sifu got in trouble. Seafood? Sifu, my Kung Fu instructor. What'd he get in trouble for seafood my kung fu instructor what do you get in trouble for we've tied we can't talk about this we can't talk about see

food he would snap my neck like a twig if he could unbelievable oh my god not a single car in sight that's a shame it's one of the most bizarre towns I've ever seen in my life that street of this looks like the majority of America Why is there a snowman? AC Cold yeah, that's your whole thing. Yeah, dude. It's like they brag that they have a really strong AC They change the name from super buffet to AC buffet Yeah, and it's not anywhere near

Christmas time in this photo yeah they just bright it's clearly summer yeah it's awesome go there if you want like if you're hot that was their tagline go there if you're hot all right Any bad reviews cold Food was of course it was Food was cold nasty food was very hard and very cold Worst restaurant I've been to in my whole life the food was cold no shit Nothing was clean Yeah, food was cold because it's the AC buffet

Yeah, that's on you at that point When you walk into the air conditioning buffet people would go there and just pound frog legs though. Yeah, that was big there Yeah, those were the best You got that's the best item they have it was cold It's all cold We would go there after baseball games really Really? Instead of Dairy Queen. The Dairy Queen was like right next to it. Or no, that was Baskin Robbins.

I was thinking of like, the league Pinto. That was the pinnacle of sports in Wheeling. Did you guys have your little league names? As you progressed, it was an older horse? No, ours? I never played baseball. Okay. Hockey was like my favorite. Mook, you played baseball. You're looking at AC Buffet food.. No, ours. I only I never played baseball. OK, hockey was like you played baseball. Oh, is that you looking at AC Buffet food?

Don't man. Oh, crap. Yeah. Yeah, we were we weren't named after horses. Not your team, but the leagues. Pinto Mustang, Shetland, T-Ball Pony. Yeah, that's very regional to like Western P.A. Yeah. West Virginia. I don't think like Western PA. Yeah. West Virginia. I don't think we did that.

I played American Legion. Oh yeah. That's high level. What post were you? I don't know. I don't think we ever associated with the post. Yeah. It's not good. I dressed for a post game once. My buddy played on it and they didn't have enough people.

Post one. Oh, did you pit? Nope. Yeah, that's gonna set. enough people. Like post one. Oh. Did you pit? Nope. Yeah, that's gonna say. Just sat, just dressed. Been there, buddy. I have some embarrassing baseball memories. How, what?

Do you remember Bradley Hughes? I don't remember Bradley Hughes. He was a legend. He was like fond after by like local moms. Oh. In Pinto baseball. Jesse Channel was that for him, for me. Yeah, he played for Warren Township, which was in, Ohio

They were in our league Their coaches like everyone was like spray tanned their coaches took steroids The coaches coaches took stairs was like in this coach pitch so they could like hit the ground balls faster They were just hitting line drives off these kids sternums before both of the game But this kid Bradley Hughes, I mean he was probably like a five foot seven seven year old, okay? This must have been the next lip because I was pitching and he took me yard to farm fresh Above the above the tree line and it hit the awning of farm fresh Which is not even the nearest business wait in Elm Grove or the bank was closer in Bethlehem wait at Bob

Look at Bob B. OPP field he hit it to farm fresh. He hit you to farm fresh. Yes No Yes, and I remember he ran the bases twice Like the one of the last balls. That's the farm fresh. No, that's no no he didn't even hit it He hit it to the farther one. To the left. Go left. For the, go straight. He hit it to that one? That it rolled. Oh my God, he took you yaw.

Farther, farther. That's where the ball landed. That ended up there. He was so good at hitting. So it hit to there. And I was such a slow pitcher, but I had good accuracy, so I just gave him. He ran the, did he?

Actually, he ran it twice. they were cocky douchebags? They were tan they were spray tanned Yeah, the fields down there in a pit Yeah, you had to go down the steepest driveway of all time to get that field cars flipped on the way to baseball games Mm-hmm here go keep going down the street move. Maybe you can catch a glimpse turn right Turn oh there. Yeah, there is the field down there but it's like this hill is right there is the steepest hill keep going straight cars were turned left cars were flipping down that to go down to the games holy shit did you guys have a guy that would drive onto the field with his truck no we

our coach would drive close not on the field. That's brazen Yeah, war in township. You're really far Here that's insane zoom They did their like end-of-year pool party at the Garden of the Gods oasis in Vegas They spent all their money on that Couldn't afford Dairy Queen so they had to do a lick circle with one star kiss our team couldn't afford for Dairy Queen either We did the star kiss thing to the sir. Oh, we're so cool was it to staple You just share a dilly bar. No we could only do star kisses because you got to choose a point of the star kiss to yeah Yeah, that's around. I was strawberry kiwi delicious tree. I was a good tree. I think it's discontinued. No kidding. I know.

That sucks. Oh man. I was ridiculous. You ran the faces twice on you. What did you do while that was happening? And also you were a three foot two boy. I was three five. Jesus.

Just getting taken yard. What's he doing today? Yeah, I think he he peaked young like it's six seven. Yeah, he peaked at like nine. Okay. Yeah You don't talk about rocket money Kyle Yes, the stats here always just so fun mine boggles exciting It's it's an app to cancel unwanted subscriptions that you forget about. Yeah, does it all It's an app to cancel unwanted subscriptions that you forget about. Yeah. It does it all, quick, easy process,

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash untold, rocketmoney.com slash untold, rocketmoney.com slash untold. Ooh, com slash untold rocket money dot com slash untold Will plop Jeff D. Lowes in town and he beeline to me when I got into the office He's like here you go, dude, and he gave me just empty ice cream cartons. Have you seen these? seen what

Like oh No, oh my god. It's Well, there's I think it's safe to say this man is he is down syndrome. Yeah, it's down syndrome ice cream I don't know the flavor is milkshake Yeah, he made Strawberry milkshake this one's cookie dough It's not. It says chocolate is all get out. That's fun.

I'm happy with these boys. Every pint creates jobs for people with special needs. That's beautiful. I'm happy to have it here. Everybody should buy Howdy ice cream. Howdy. So he ate all these and then cleaned them out to bring them to you. I think Jeff scarfed it down and scrubbed it out for me and then had to put it in his luggage and stuff it with a towel so it didn't get crushed. Yeah, I see a little it's been it's been eaten and.

Oh, yeah, it's empty. OK, I didn't know. Something's telling me this ice cream has been eaten. It was a souvenir. Smell like milkshake washed. You guys have to make high school or make ice cream in high school. My home room in high school was IEP shit. Yeah, my home room in high school was called the doughnut

room and had this doughnut conveyor belt and that was it taught It was a special needs classroom When I was out of it, they love making baked desserts. Yeah, we had the they called it the Coco Loco What's that? And it was all the special needs kids would like once a week run the Coco Loco in the cafeteria Yeah, they good. Yeah. Yeah chocolate. Yeah, Rudy. yeah, Rudy wait that was no you did that nice Yeah, Rudy was a chef Remember any of that was crazy no idea You were you making though ice cream. Yeah, we used to like a science class they make

Periods it was like lunch and ice You got a c-minus C-minus an ice cream Take summer school That's the hardest time to take ice cream to do Yeah, you I forgot you took ice cream yeah Yeah, you I forgot you took ice cream. Yeah Failed it

Fuck that field dude Bradley Hughes like Yeah, like he had like all of his relatives and like even like they had like Bradley's mom on the back of their shirt I'm a jerry at least a Bradley sister Bradley's girlfriend. It was like 16 Sure, I'm a jerry's dad Bradley sister Bradley's girlfriend. It was like 16 Bradley's neighbor and like moms from other teams who weren't even playing would show up with like his number on there Yeah, he was that legendary that's how it was there. You know what's pathetic like instead I don't have nightmares about him, which would be pathetic But I'm thinking me art. I have Fantasy dreams of me like being on his team and like being cool with it so much more embarrassing And like him death you guys have like a handshake like I had one recently so in your dream

I'm on the team. I'm on war in town. What physically are you you at age? I'm my age He's his age, but still is a beast and like I like I remember really like I would get a single in the dream And he would like that me up up and it was like the best. Dude, I actually, I wanna look him up. You just triggered something in my memory. I had something very similar that may be worse. There was this kid, Michael Schoolcraft, who his dad was the number one gynecologist in Colorado.

Oh yeah, that's hard. He was fucking sick at hockey and then he became a golf pro. I was like, this kid is so sick. I was probably 11. I had a dream where he got pussy he's so sick you got pussy in your dream that is it oh that's way worse no actually it's not Kyle gets a single in his dream it's always blurred that's a single in his dream. It's always blurred. That's a good dream sequence. Oh, I remember mine very vividly that's I woke up

And I was like fuck You would again How are you rated the number one gynecologist so I don't know it's ceremony I don't know I think I think the women the women vote. That would be a funny award. The fingies. Yeah, the fingies. Kyle, would you be disappointed now if you saw him and thought, Oh, he's an adult? I only see him as an adult. He was that beastly as a child.

Kyle had his fat head in his room. Yeah, he had the fat head. Bradley Hughes his fat head Yeah, those days when there was kids that were fully through puberty and your years off it Or it was the worst and then he was a pitcher too and oh my god. Oh my yeah I remember one time we played this team from Dallas and all of them were like that team you're talking about Yeah, hot moms all the shirts everything these kids were fucked. It was the Monstars one time we played this team from Dallas and all of them were like that team you're talking about. Yeah. Hot moms, all the shirts, everything.

These kids were fucked. It was the Monstars. Yeah. My hands were shaking. That was Cooperstown. It was like I was like four, two. And then there were kids who were six, three. Yeah.

Yeah. What did Bradley Hughes look like? Kind of like a blob like a morphous shape Big white dude he might not have he might not be alive. Oh Wait, baseball from Brookside High School. Maybe he's Ohio. He would have been in like Buckeye local territory. Where's Brookside? That's not him He would be like a year older than me I That's not him. 26 years old.

He would be like a year older than me. I mean, he's not a pro baseball player. I think you. Those those those champions of when they're huge and everyone else is tiny, they never ever fully make no. But man in their era, it was the dominant. I would still like prefer to peak then. Honestly, yeah, they were on top of the world.

I don't have dreams about pro athletes. Now, I got to be fucking school crap. That's the time to pee. All right. This next ad's for all the stinky boys out there. Mando, the four and one acidified cleaning bar. It's a five ounce bar that does the work with shampoo face wash body wash and deodorant in one five ounce bar You can also use it to create a rich shaving lather. So technically that's a five in one It's gonna save you a lot of time and space when you're packing for trips, you know, I gotta like stuff my top

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We thought Bradley Hughes was no longer with us. Yeah, well, he isn't, but a different Bradley Hughes. Yeah. Yeah. You scared me. I mean, I'm still sad, but I don't know this man. Yeah. Who passed. But Bradley Hughes is probably still around.

Somewhere. I don't need people to search for him. No. I think he's, you know, I want to let him be comfortable and maybe, I don't need people to search for him. No, I think he's you know I want to let him be comfortable and maybe I don't know Keep his privacy sacred But look at that he took a yard there. He's a legend. He's a fucking legend You see Libby Dunn photoshopped her boyfriend's acne no no Paul No, yeah, she got caught because the MLB posted the original picture after

That's a good girl. That's fine to retouch. Yeah, she would do it to herself Yeah, I don't yeah, I don't see the I don't see he comes and goes and it's inevitably gonna go so you might have Yeah, I mean, he's probably one of that. Oh, it's not that bad But which also makes it worse Yeah Feel the need Especially if he touch it. Yeah, do you think she was like I got this or he just found out after the fact That would be horrible. That would be if they like collabed on the decision right somewhat better you find out later on from I don't know

I'm in the job that your girl, so if your girlfriend posted you and you found out she photoshopped to make you taller Yeah, that's bigger arms. So that's like the war be the word that would be that will destroy me Yeah, and your job is who tells you? Yeah, barstool posts the original. Kyle with his taller girlfriend is the caption. That on hers. Yeah. Do you use pet names?

I couldn't imagine a pet name coming out of your mouth. No, dude. I don't even use name Yeah, right. We always I would just make up a name like what? Nothing what do you do? You kind of do what do I do? I've heard you in public public. Yeah, what'd I say a little tipsy? What did I say like the standard like babe? Yeah, yeah, that's fine, babe

I don't do babe Do you get cold babe? No? What do you get cold? Kyle Dean Dean Kyle Jones what Kyle Jones Does that paper last name Piper Jones Kyle Jones my dad used to call me Kyle Jones at preschool He picked me up. He's like where's Kyle Jones and no one knew what it meant, but it stuck My dad always called me Kyle Jones Wait, what is your cat of your last name my cats Piper Jones?

And I I was I told her to start calling me Kyle Dean and I talked about this you told your cat to start Calling you that no that wouldn't make sense. That'd be a waste of time And she'll call you Kyle Kyle Dean or Kyle Jones has she texted you today calling you Kyle Dean We search Kyle Dean is Let me search Kyle Dean. Is it one word? No. It's a fucking name. Kyle baby Dean.

Okay, I have a safe flight Kyle Dean. She printed out Kyle Dean Jones. Yeah, it's super weird. That's really fucking weird. Your girlfriend calls you Kyle Dean. Yeah, it's super weird Kyle Dean It is Wait what is this dead gay porn star called Kyle Dean The two worst things you could be he He was young. Dead gay porn star.

He's two of the worst traits. He's handsome. Kyle Dean. Kyle Dean. It's Kyle Dean. She calls you a dead gay porn star name. You gotta glide the Dean. Throughout his career, Kyle Dean starred in more than a dozen porn scenes for Corbin Fischer

and Gay Hoopla. The Dean throughout his career. I'll do Kyle Dean started more than a dozen porn scenes for Corbin Fisher and gay hoopla Kyle Dean Jones, maybe that's bet. Is that a hyphenated last name? No, I'm sorry, man Maybe she doesn't like my last name doesn't want to take it ever Never calls. It'll be weird if she called you Kyle Bauer. That would be weirder, yeah. Just as weird. Bree, what do you throw around? Standard issue.

Yeah. Babe, I guess. I don't really say that that much. I'll say it in text, but I don't really say that. I always worry in text, if you say honey to the wrong person, they'll look at you I would never say that I think that's the rule of thumb never say that honey honey. Yeah, that's weird. Mm-hmm Yeah, so I avoid that one, but I don't think honey's weird. I don't honey's old. This is all yeah

It's like Brandon would say that to his wife. I like saying dear Dear is old like that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, your literature ass. I just need a fake last name now Nick Roger on I would ask my girlfriend circle me Nick Bergeron That's sick, thank you dude, I That's nice, Nick Bergeron. Dude, I needed that. I'm Nick Bergeron. Yeah. Can I get one? Come on.

That rolls right up. Kyle Dean, Nick Bergeron. Hook your boy up. Rudolph. A Rudolph. Whatever you prefer. Do your choice. Let me think.

You should give last names to people. Yeah. For a livin'. Rudy Beaumont, and they call you Motzilla. Yeah, I'm in. Pretty fucking good stuff. Last names to people yeah for a living Rudy Beaumont, and they call you Mottzilla Why'd you pick Dean I just don't fucking get I think it sounds sick because these won't be like Jimmy Dean it sounds yeah Jimmy yeah, that's probably like James Dean Jimmy Dean's the breakfast sandwich Which are also fun they're're good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah Yeah, so

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The offer is valid through September 3rd. A lot of you guys aren't eating enough protein, regardless of what your goals are with your body. You should be eating way more protein. You think so? I think 75% of your body weight. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. In grams. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, there was this one kid in my high school that got so much pussy that he just beat the game and he's gay, he just became gay.

Yeah, that's the expansion pattern. I think that's what happens. Yeah. That's the DLC, once you beat. Yeah, that's that's the expansion. I think that's what happens Yeah, that's the DLC once you beat all the pussy you have the gay expansion And I had a running theory I had a running theory that I was like he is so good at getting chicks that he has To be gay and no one thought I was right. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I think if you're that sexual of a being like yeah That might be the coolest thing you can do. Yeah. Retire from chicks. Yeah. Half, yeah, forced into retirement. Yeah. Kyle, before we sign off, anything you want to say? When are you going to unveil the burp? So I've read mixed reviews. Sometimes it takes

weeks to finally get it, to get the symptomatic relief of a burp. Some people get it immediately. It all depends on your individual genetics and biology. Can we ask white boy Rick to film you afterwards? Like the like a teen getting their wisdom taken? Oh, I don't know if this is going to be on like a loopy type deal. No, I don't know. I think it might be a little disoriented. I hope not. I hope not. Tomorrow at what time? Early. I got to. Tomorrow at what time? Early, I gotta be there at 6.30. So by the time you're listening to this, what?

Wait, Rick lives so far. Well yeah, white boy Rick lives in like Skokie. Well yeah, well the center is in Downers Grove. Ah. Close to him. How'd you get there today? A long Uber. Chatty?

No, not a word, it was beautiful. That's nice. And so white boy Rick will be, that's really nice of him. He's a nice guy. No, he's not. He's a dickhead. Why do you agree to do that for you?

Cause he lives so close and I'm paying him 100 bucks. Oh. There we go. Did he ask or did he just offer that? He wanted the money He's not a kid. He's not a caregiver type guy No, I guess there's not a there's not a warm bone in his body But shout out to him big shout out biggest shout outs all right. God bless. God bless. 409 next week. Yeah, Jopa