A New Untold Story - O'Neal Residence - A New Untold Story: Ep. 399

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

shoutout to snips mcquaid, sam goldfinger, cj, rudy's legs, and jason reeves. ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code UNTOLD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/UNTOLD.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new one told story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. If you play hockey, did he play hockey? I have no idea. If you're not actively on the ice and you're using hockey slang gay, you just called all of Canada gay. Sure did. Yep. And I'm with you. Yeah. You mean you're going to reply to what I'm going to say? No, you're just going to say no,, no, that's a new untold story.

Yeah. Hey, isn't that story old or told? Fuck no, baby! It's a new untold story. A new untold story. It's a fresh- baked, untold story. I'm new, I'm told story. A new untold story episode.

Yeah, we got it. Yeah, see, watch this. A new untold story episode, 399. 399. Thanks for riding with us for 399 episodes Wow yeah, I appreciate everybody yeah Three and a half years, that's how long it's been yeah remember first episode First episode we talked about Wayne gibbous. I don't think so oh no we talked about I used every joke I've ever written on that one episode First episode we talked about Wayne Gibbous. I don't think so. Oh no, we talked about.

I used every joke I've ever written on that one episode. The second episode is when we exhausted all of our material. Yes, that's right. The first two episodes were about 20 minutes. First episode was. Was like Jason Mraz, raspberries. Mraz-berries, when you're scatting on a girl's chest. And I think it was about like. Cream. raspberries whereas when you're scatting on a girl's chest and It was I think it was about like cream. I come I come when I eat pussy so all my

Yeah, I'm stains are at the foot of my bed. Yes, not bad not bad. I Think I referred to cheese sauce as cream That that kind of hit Alright, so you took my joke and said it was fine and then you took your cheese cream yeah yeah you said it was all was that episode one that was episode one god damn D Lowe was the producer Jeff D Lowe was the producer until when Kyle until I said the unthinkable And it made the final cut you said the f slur I did for gays not as a slur not toward gays I just said it as like an ad lib. I think you said the band sticks used to be called that yeah Simple and so you said it about 400 times and the thing is as long as it's censored. It's fine

400 times and the thing is as long as it's censored it's fine But one slipped through and so episode three we just had one of those and I got the the text I was at Easter breakfast at Perkins Food didn't even come and I am panic mode. Yeah, like this app. This is out No one listen no one can't nobody listen no one made we were able to put that in Nobody listened. No one made it that far. We were able to put that in the box. It was a 20 minute episode, no one made it to me saying that. Yeah. Unsensely.

We had one guy DM us like 12 hours later, he's like, hey, did Kyle say this? You guys better watch out. We're like, no, I think we're good. It is gone, right? I don't think. That was like the lowest point. You text text big cat like that you said it freaking out I was on full panic mode like on a like a celebrity who said it and no I was so

More disappointed that no one cared Dude yeah like our impact is so tiny we can say it I know Like our impact is so tiny we can say it I know But yeah, that was that was but that's when Jeff D. Lowe was our producer because he's the voice in the theme song and he Decided it was best professionally to maybe oh that was yeah Today is June 5th or 6th depending on who you are or When you're listening to this yeah, if you're us it's the fifth And if you're you it's the sixth and

birthdays Negah Higa happy birthday to Negah Higa Jeff D. Lowe's gonna leave the podcast again He's gonna join again, so he what is that for he was like the pioneer of YouTube He was like the first regular oh to make it As a YouTube star and he was appointment television for me you used to watch Ryan And Smosh and wait was he allowed to have that as his name. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think And IG a yeah, what like this is an audio based format again This was 2008 but like why is he did he change his YouTube name? No, it's still that is it Yeah, I

Don't remember him what kind of you don't remember him kind of videos did he do like how to be ninja? And he would like hi yada like a he would like over dramatize His Asian trope. Yeah, and it was funny. It was laugh a minute How to beat how many views does this have? 56 million not bad. Oh, he was though at one point. He was the most subscribed to Person in the world. And it was this. That was really good form on the kick. This is 50...

Yeah. And it holds up. Yeah it is pretty funny. I had a birthday to him and Ninja, the actual Ninja actual ninja 33 and Mark Wahlberg Wow That would be a bloodbath yep Yeah, Mark Wahlberg ninja and nigga he Yeah, Mark Wahlberg would be his he blinded is that what he did he punched a man till he was blind

I think it was just horrible and heinous. Yeah, he managed to get out of that. That was his Like that was you know you said the gay word that was his version of it because nobody really cared no one cared People knew and it was he beat him up because he was Asian or was that just a factor I think that was specifically why that was the only reason Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is brutal. Where does he have all those car dealerships? Nikahiga That's a crazy name he had a great YouTube name look up how to pronounce it because it's not I was his biggest fan. Is that how it's pronounced it is pronounced that way

There's no not niger high guy best way to pronounce it that almost sounds worse. Yeah, really we have to censor that Yeah, it's even on there No, I can't hear it There I think that's for us to speak into yeah, maybe yeah Kyle say it say it say it out loud And press the sound button Nigga, hega. Oh if she said it Blue is she allowed to say to she blew blue, okay? All right Happy birthday happy second birthday to Sunday

Guess who this is Sunday Lebrant. That's got to be Cole Lebrant's daughter. So yeah, I wouldn't be here my first blog Before I got hired when I started blogging in an attempt to get higher hired here was just trashing him Yes, mutilating his guts. That was the kind of dude I was. He was so pro-virginity, but then he married a woman with a child. So his tweet was that I made fun of was he got married and on his wedding night he said,

no longer a virgin 100 emoji, hashtag marriage rocks. Yes. And look where they are now. They have five kids and he posted on his Instagram story, his wife Savannah's either been pregnant or breastfeeding a newborn for 95% of our seven year marriage. Oh, I hope I still like her when she's not pregnant slash breastfeeding, because I can't really remember what that's like. Thinking emoji.

It's weird to include breastfeeding. That is a sex slave. That is a fertility slave. She's there to... She's either getting dicked or having her breasts just... She's getting dicked or milked. Milked nonstop by a team of kids. A nonstop suckling or dicking the probably

overlaps sometimes You think she's getting dick that she's being suckled. That's insane My god, that is horrible. It's like Ariel Castro shit Captive wait, he's right about that. She hasn't relaxed. She hasn't just she's been miserable 97% oh My god, Cole put the dick down, please put it down put it down. Don't do anything crazy put the dick down Cole Geez So do you think he went into marriage too horny oh

Absolutely, he was rock hard body Jeez. So do you think he went into marriage too horny? Oh, absolutely. He was rock hard, body, athletic, completely sober. You know how high his sex drive must have been? And he married a woman who already had a kid. Did he choose that? I forgot. Because I think he wanted to like, do a dance like videos with a woman and a child,

like family dance videos. It seemed, I mean, I'm sure he's harmless, but that alone isn't harmless. He's he has really good semen strong Mm-hmm. I don't know. I Don't know how accidental pregnancies happen. This is gonna sound dumb of me None of us have I don't know anybody that's done it accidentally that happens a lot Why are you guys staring at me? Have you ever had a woman have an abortion? Have I?

Yeah. No. Okay. No, I never have. Neither. Well, he's probably also trying every day. Yeah, I guess so. It seems like every time someone tries to have a kid,

it's suddenly impossible. And then when you aren't trying, it's the easiest thing on earth. I know guys that FTB every single time and they fucked to bust. Filled a brim filled to and they still are. They they they are childless, childless. Yeah. Fucked to bust. Yeah, they actually be to FTB. Yeah, it could be either, I guess. Yeah.

This is about to be an FTB, the second one. Her uterine walls need power washed. That would be like an oddly satisfying video of Savannah Lebrant's vaginal walls. Yeah, her vaginal walls look like a hangout at a playground There's like graffiti from those have been there previous It's like those viral videos of rug cleanings where there's like no way a rug has ever gotten that fucking dirty

Yeah, I don't know I bet the world's most walked-on rug has there that no No, they're dirtying the rugs. Yeah, those are the dog the dirtiest rubs. Yeah, but that's probably hurt, but they're still posting like the Regular YouTube videos for example meeting our son for the first time in parentheses live birth And she's just well you said the most normal YouTube You can show waxing an asshole on YouTube mm-hmm Like can you show waxing asshole is that what you mean? Yeah, like if it's considered educational You can show your asshole if you're demonstrating how to wax it really mm-hmm I remember pornography as a child online was hard to find I had to go E-bombs world and play a sim day and night.

And then put in the infinite money code. The PSP was big. Yeah, but the orientation, it couldn't flip. So we've talked about this. So many times. We're walking, wait, does he, what does she look like? Like is she tired?

Yeah, she looks abused in the eyes I thought that said the Lebrant farm at first it is that's exactly what it is It's the baby farm Savannah Lebrant seven kids Five five five and seven years pretty lady 31 ready There's only 31 He's only it He's only like 27

Wait, what are their kids names Zealand? Zealand clay who Sherry LeBron that's a that's a porn on that's an important actress What are their kids names because they have to have some Everly with an EIigh mm-hmm that tracks Posey and Sunday, but this is Sunday's birthday Sunday second birthday. Happy birthday Sunday, and they have a Beckham, okay? Okay And they're two bunnies very nice mm-hmm I was looking through my photos.

I walked to Bird's Nest to get wings just to pick them up. And I bumped into like some Anus fans. And I choked. I botched. I botched the situation so bad. And I haven't watched this video. I did it so I wouldn't forget what I said to them. I filmed myself right after I met them so I wouldn't forget what I said to them. I filmed myself right after I met them so I wouldn't forget what I said. Okay.

All right, video note. Walk past three Barstool fans, they said, what's up Nick? And I said, what's up, Goya? Which I guess in my brain I combined guy, boys, and fellas. Goya. All right, so that was my first time rewatching that. I would have forgotten. What's up, GOOYA.

All right, so that was my first time rewatching that. I would have forgotten. What's up, GOOYA? Uh, uh-huh, three guys, and they're like, they're significantly cooler than me. Just like all going to grab a beer after work, and I was walking, like, you know, with my head down, and yeah, what's up, GOOYA? So to those guys, really, really sorry. I'm sorry that I did that

So bad, it's so fucking bad dude, and I do that a lot yeah, I had the opposite happened you did something cool I killed it. Yeah, what you do I? wrapped I wrapped Freestyle He was like you just say hi to my friend? And I just put like the most immaculate, smoothest freestyle I've ever laid down.

And it was all contextually relevant to our surroundings. He was like, holy shit. That was, yeah, he appreciated that. Yeah, I think if I met somebody I was a fan of and they freestyle rapped me, I'd be really uncomfortable. I went on, yeah. Please do a rap for next person that comes up to you gets a rap. Yeah, that's my new thing.

You didn't do that. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. Did you ever think that you could rap? Yeah, yes. Because I can rhyme and I can write words. So it's pretty similar. Then there's a big leap to having it sound good. The delivery is the obstacle. The delivery is, yeah, is the obstacle. The delivery. Oh, well, I just remember something.

Shout out to, I had a weird fan interaction too. What'd you do? It was rad. I was at DraftKings for the Premier League. I went to the bathroom to take a piss, and there's a guy pissing next to me, and I'm pissing, and I just hear, vanish Q. No way! And I was like, That's a good one. I was like, did that guy just say vanish Q? And I just hear, Vanish Q. No way.

And I was like, That's a good one. I was like, did that guy just say Vanish Q? And I was like, what? He goes, Vanish Q. That's it. Worst idea ever. And he leaves.

Dude, Vanish Q makes me laugh still to this day. Imagine hearing Vanish Q while peeing. Oh, that's good, that's nice. I tried to seriously rap in ninth grade. I did a Drake diss. Nobody around, I just did it on my own. I think seriously rap in ninth grade. I did a Drake diss nobody around I just did it on my own. I think in ninth or tenth grade Maybe 11th whenever Drake was just getting popular on that time and I just did it in my room alone and I wrote it and I

Was I like a firsthand embarrassment by looking at it? Did you try to record it? Yeah But it doesn't exist anymore Thank God because I don't like on an old phone. I don't know no no it was on an old phone. I do have some like embarrassing YouTube videos out there for sure I Put myself in like you were doing a lot of creative Shit mmm not really I put myself in the Boom boom pal music video to

black eyed peas. I was like my big one, like 13 views. Yeah, I was I was always making shit. I guess making rap songs is super fun. It's no, it's not.

I think it's it's funny and embarrassing when it comes together, though, it's not. I think it's it's funny and embarrassing. When it comes together though, it's cool. So you've done when has it ever come together? I've done it once and it came together. Drop something successful. I did the priest rap video. Oh, that did do well.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Wait, that did do well. But it's good work. But I did a second one that I never released, which was a diss track about the devil. From The Priest? Yeah, The Priest was writing a diss track. And you didn't release it? Yeah, I never really finished it.

And it is diff, it's like, you're hypercritical because you're taking a big risk. And I just never released it. I wanted to make it like a super cool, like Cole Bennett style music video. Yeah. And I was like, this is lame, fuck this. Game time. Did you know you can see Chris Brown live at the United Center

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All right, Kyle, you know how hard you work on legs and Rudy doesn't do anything. And this is from the boys story episode Yeah Shocking image look at what your body's doing to that flip-flop Rudy. I my I think the gravity of my legs is Pulling my arches towards the center of my mass. Is that from hockey or like you've come from a big-legged?

Clan I come from a big armed clan. The legs, I think, were just from hockey and I haven't touched them and legs like that. I make the penis look pathetic. That's genetic. It does. It's like because my penis is the width of my leg. Yeah, there's a war going on between my thighs and my penis and it's a war that's been lost. It's a border war. Yeah. It's a war that's been lost for sure. But how does this make you feel, Kyle? Yeah, it's genetic. Like, I don't know. It makes me feel horrible, dude. And I think you guys knew that.

I didn't even see this image. Zoom out. Look at the density on Rudy. Oh, he's so thick. It's unbelievably thick. It doesn't even look like fat. But it doesn Oh, he's so thick. It's unbelievably thick. It doesn't even look like fat. But it doesn't, Rudy's so thick there, it doesn't look comfortable to be alive.

It isn't. If you see me sitting in chairs, I constantly am shifting around just because there's so much mass to deal with. That's the, you look, look how comfortable you look, Kyle. And tan. Are you doing three second pause squats until your amygdala vibrates No, that's the old me are you great question?

Calf raises no no to the calves have always been fat. I mean back in the hockey days. We're talking RFE's Romanian deadlifts are you doing? Barbell lunges until you see spiders No, that used to be me. I don't even touch them anymore, but they just stay the same. I'm just gaining mass. Are you doing all this, Kyle?

Yes, my leg day is pure hell, and I feel so good afterwards. You do? But now I won't, because it's like, oh no, there's levels and levels above me. It's like a polar bear next to an adolescent brown bear. If you're the sun, I'm like Sagittarius a my legs are freaking wide enough to rip my song to tell My nike is oftentimes in the front of my foot. I gotta put you under wig wams. What are wig wams these?

Yeah, what do they do people been asking people and ask you about your fucking plain-ass socks Yeah, who's asked show me one DM about your socks people have been asking about what socks you're wearing yes yes yes you okay what kind of socks do you buy you answered they're called wigwam my brother no what did he say that's why you're the goat. Alright, is that a fan that just text you? No. Um, yeah. I've been getting a random guy texting me. Well, no, not a random guy, because he hasn't texted me once. This random guy has my phone number and has been giving it to his boys.

And his boys will just text me and be like, yo, this is Kyren. I'm friends with Snips McQuade and this was today this was today he's like do you need me to bring in a reptile over to the office because we were talking about reptiles today on the yak and like every time something comes up Snips McQuade will have a boy hit me up at roofball we were talking about like farting or something and Snips McQuade's boy hit me up and said, let's see, it's always, Snips McQuade is just giving my number out to so many people. And he sent me Shaq's phone number apparently.

Snips McQuade sent you Shaq's phone number? He sent me Shaquille O'Neal's phone number. I don't know if I believe him. Have you tried to call it? Not yet. Did you save it? Yeah. Wait, Sn McQuaid is hitting you guys up to snips McQuaid has never hit me up only his boys But snips McQuaid gives my number to his boys. He's hit me up, but yeah, and it's never seemed pleasant wait call Shaq Right, it's a 201 area codes try to call Shaq San Antonio

Should I call him or face time? Let's uh? Try to call Shaq. San Antonio. Should I call him or FaceTime him? Let's uh. Why would you assume Snips McQuade, who isn't a real person, just has Shaq's number? He said, bro, you gotta give me a sneaky shout out on the Yak, if you do, I'll give you Shaq's phone number on my mama, FaceTime him drunk on Friday,

and he'll answer 100% of the time at the hookah bar. Your choice. And then I didn't shout him out and he still sent me the number. Really? Well, this is Snips us shouting him out, not even low key. All right. Call Shaq. Call Shaq.

Zero percent chances works. Oh yeah. Are you FaceTiming Shaq? It's gonna be one of his other boys. It's gonna be like Kyron. It's gonna be his boy named Shaq. He doesn't have a boy named Shaq. His name's Snips McQuade. The O'Neal residence, can I help you? Hi, is this Shaquille? No, sir. Who is speaking? My name is CJ. Can I help

you please? Yes, I'm looking to reach Shaquille. We'll give his service. Once again, you're welcome to leave a message. I'm afraid he's not here. Okay. I'll leave a message another time. Is this a real person? That's Shaq's phone number. That's Shaq's house.

You called Shaq's landline. Wait, wait, wait. When you said Shaquille, he didn't, he said he's not here? Yeah. That was Shaq? That was Shaq'sille. He didn't he said he's not here. Yeah That was shot message. I think that's Shaq's house. Yeah, you have Shaq's landline Shaq's house as a secretary of shock has a butler I'm sure you had the golden opportunity to say anything you want to the most famous man in the world

That wasn't him, but you could have left the message. I said I'd leave a message another time. Nick told me to hang up. I almost got nervous. Wow, CJ. CJ, Shaq's butler. Big friend of the program. O'Neal residence. Snips McQuade is gone. How is Snips McQuade so connected?

Yeah, what the fuck? He has Kyren, the reptile. Wait, he sent me Kyren, the reptile guy, and he gave you Shaq? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what he thinks of you. Biggest of shoutouts to snips Yeah, what are we gonna? Wow I got nervous. I did too. I've never spoken to a butler. Yeah, and he

He was a no-nonsense guy, but like that doesn't seem like a number that It gets out very often because he wasn't he didn't think it was a prank call I Think I thought he thought he yeah I thought he sniffed it but like is it call is Shaq calling you back I'm scared yeah dude scared to get a call from Shaq yeah that would be intimidating yeah what do I say to Shaq he does a lot so he'll probably do something have you been to office max recently everything Shaq Shaq has his own fax machine, and Shaq has his own brand of office chairs.

Have you seen the Shaquille O'Neal line of office chairs? They look comfy, they're for bigger boys. Rudy, we gotta get you a Shaq chair. I do need a Shaq chair. You might do the most, like, in the world. Does he have like one trillion dollars? He should. I don't, it's not even about, it can't be about money.

Yeah, look how comfy his chairs look, dude. And it has a signature on the back. If you go to Office Depot, Office Max, he has his branding on everything. But this is like, D has like hundreds of products. Yeah, people are buying up the shack chairs in heaps. Yeah. I think he is.

It's like the gift of the summer. You would look like Buzz Lightyear in that thing if you saw it. Yeah. What does that mean? A small toy. Oh, the toy. You thought that would? A small, a toy. Like a toy. You thought that would make you look like an astronaut?

I don't know. You thought it would make you look, oh, you're gonna sit down there and get a swirly cleft chin? Yeah. No, it means small, dude. Yeah. And wait, see if he has like a printer or something too.

But like, he, I would love a list of the things Shaq has. That he has and does. That's why he wasn't there. He's so busy I you want to call him? No, you're afraid of CJ terrified of CJ. Yes, you did it felt invasive CJ's way too casual of a name for a fucking butler I bet he's the man though. You think CJ's the man. Yes, you seem patient and kind definitely holds it down. Yeah How often are you finding subscriptions you forgot about?

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It's like it has a mind of its own. These mics, just everything we have is broken and nothing works typically. But it would be better if they broke fully because then you would replace it. Moog, you shared a stage with the comedian earthquake No, he's sharing the stage after the mostly story live show. Oh really yeah Oh, okay, so we have a mostly story live show, but we have it the night before earthquake

The night before earthquake. Yep. He's there for the full weekend. You do monster trucks No, no is he's the black comic, not like a dark humor funny paper. He's so black comic as in funny, funny black guy. Uh huh. Yeah. I don't know if I know any earthquake jokes. We could find some, but it's going to be what? What's his most recent special? YouTube, Brandon Walker and Mark Titus and then earthquake.

Earthquake right after we got to get him on. Earthquake. Earthquake right after. We gotta get him on. Earthquake, these ain't jokes. I'm looking at his face and I... I don't think I believe him. It might be jokes. I don't think I trust him. No, I know what you're gonna do. It's because of his facial expression.

These ain't jokes. Alright, Earthqu right earthquake a comedy that will leave you shaking I thought he was gonna call it be called earthquake cuz he's fat as shit No, I think it just levels the room. Can you I think that's what it is. He leaves an earthquake I feel like did he start off being a comic as earthquake I feel like did he start off being a comic as earthquake Just read to me an earthquake joke mook, I don't want to watch a video read to me a joke out loud read me a joke out loud Earthquake jokes feel like it's just the crying emojis. Yeah, I think he just verbalizes a crying I'm showering out of his mouth Man just like a written

Coronavirus ain't the only shit that's plague. Yeah, that's good. It's all that's plaguing our community. I Want you to be on it honest probably these hypocrites that we got out here You got brothers out here been wearing a mask for 18 months Mm-hmm. Oh, this is a long one. Mm-hmm. Maybe it isn't jokes ain't seen the dentist in 18 years. Oh wait All right. Hold on. I got it So you start you try it? I think you can capture can't see the tone Just be chewing on one side of your mouth All right shit earthquakes got it. Yeah look up earthquake net worth

These dudes are always sneaky gazillionaires. Oh, yeah, he strikes me as a guy that does More shows than there are days in a year three mil pretty good for earth. He's 61. Yeah, wow he's it. Well. Yeah, we're warming up the stage for him in an indie Yeah, oh, this is an Indianapolis. Yeah, I'm excited. I swore. I would never get back on that stage Yeah, the first live show we did was with no we did a couple with the yak One of them was a horrible disaster and the domino effect was just a dogshit podcast that came out of the rubble That spawned it. It was people in the audience started a podcast. And then Anus Live, obvious disaster, humiliating, and we're trying again.

Yeah, I think every live show I did brought me such great shame and humiliation. Yeah Yeah, I've been experiencing a ton of shame lately. I Think it's healthy. You always come out of it. Like alright. Um, let's let's rise. Is that what we do? I just mmm Was that? Colby Kyle a Kobe Calais, no Kalei Kalei Kobe Calais. Oh, I bring that up. Does she do bubbly spin array?

I was I did like a deep dive on 2008 songs. I met her in an airport How did you even know it was her I had no fucking idea so what? Hair I was with my hockey team and I just hold her like she was humongous like fat So fat no like a Greek goddess like just very tall Look up Colby Colby Calais height. Yeah, I think she's I mean I was 13 So maybe she was normal height and I was tiny Luke how tall is Colby Clay? Very hot I bet you she's not that tall get the tingles in a silly place That's not that tall. I get the tingles in a silly place That's not gay

Huge five nine she I swear she was six three. Oh, that's big for a woman. Yeah, you think Tall yeah, they'll come across as tall. I think your girlfriend five No, she's petite. She over you she is taller than me She's a short taller than me. Oh, okay. No. She's not can't um Wait, you were looking up 2008 2008 songs What do we got? just

Well bubbly love song pocketful of sunshine, but the ones that the men made the titles What were they doing shake it kiss kiss? sweetest girl Crush, I'm yours That's like not even gay. That's like schoolboy gay. That's beyond that's like boy. Gay is a level of gay That's not sexual and then like even like little Wayne and three six mafia. We're like let's show them how Fucking gangsters do it and released lollipop and lolly lolly They went sucker themed yeah, but wait when did when was candy shop out?

I was probably rappers love that's oh five that's oh five gotta be oh five And sexy can I and then the way I are who's's that by? That's a big big song by Timbaland I think. The way I are? Yeah. He deliberately used bad grammar to capture the essence of the song. Oh cool, but I Just like looking at Cuz every time I see your bubbly face I get the tingles in a silly place. She's an adult that wrote that. No, no, here's where it gets better. I found your spirit animal, your spirit manimal.

It's the co-writer of this song. So I don't even think this was Colby's writing. Look up Jason Reeves R-E-E-V-E-S? Picture what the right the male writer of bubbly the one who says tingles in a silly place picture what he looks like Let me know when you're ready Hit it Look at his all of his pictures Oh

Look at his all of his pictures He's touching his fedora to show off his armed a forearm tattoo that says What's it say it says a beautiful army of trees? That's what his arm says like the words it's in that oh Jason Reeves just mmm. He is every barista's God Then I looked up his discography, oh no, he went too deep the magnificent adventures of heartache and other frightening tales Dude I fear that I was kind of on this trajectory for a little bit. That's what I'm saying. 08, that must have been something. Oh, dude, wait a minute. The font he has is the same font that Salt Bae uses

for his restaurant, Nusret. Look up Nusret. N-U-S-R-E-T. Dude. He used the Nusret font on his forearm. But he used it to say a beautiful army of trees tingle oh Yeah, look at that. Yeah. Oh it is good identification Jason Reeves Jason Reeves I

Feel as if you saved me from this path No, I would hope not Get the tingle in this in a silly place probably text that before like in high school. I probably like Text that I get the tingles in a silly place. Mm-hmm. It starts in my toes and then I crinkle my nose It's a great song. It sounds wonderful, but Dude, I was scrolling through like old like Facebook posts of mine that are now muted and just like I was like alone again tonight Just like shit like that. Nick is feeling sarcastic. No, I don't think so. Because I was I was just like what scarf Should I wear to school tomorrow?

That's what you're supposed to do. Go to your Facebook. It was like the base base level of sarcasm and it was like I'm gonna wear a dress to school Were you in the like for a truth is Trend yeah, but with like the the penis emoticon so it looked like I didn't actually want that you didn't actually But I got you were waiting Yeah, a crush to be like you're actually chill and cool. Oh, dude. I'm just scrolling back on Facebook Here's our first ever photo together, dude. You found it Yeah, was it a at the connect for torn the world's largest connect for tournament July 23rd 2016

That's when I think you followed me on Twitter Wow Here, I'm sending it to you, Moog. But yeah, I, oh my God, I was so fucking, I was that word you said that made Jeff D'Lo leave the podcast, but big time. In 2016? 2016.

I remember you were cool, like you'd dap me up and said like something funny. You think so? Yeah. I remember, I vividly remember this. It was like- Because you were on my radar and I was like, you're on my radar.

You did say that. I think I said, oh, I've seen your shit. I said, yeah, cause I said your shit's funny. I was starting to pop off with like Craigslist shit. On 2016? Yeah. Holy shit, yeah. And I was like, yeah, I think you got it too.

So zoom in. Where am I? There's me. Right here. Right there. And then all the way to the right. Yeah! Kyle Bauer.

Oh yeah. And that was the turnout for our attempt to break the world's largest Connect Four tournament. Like 20 people. Is that dude holding up a plaque? Yeah, he won. Fuck yeah. Yeah. That was our first ever photo together, man.

No. I think so. Oh no. We were in the same. Intentional photo. Yeah. And look at us. We're vibing.

I'm wearing eye black. With each other. You're wearing eye black? I sure am. Oh, that sucks. I told you, dude. I never, yeah. Oh yeah.

You were. I wore eye blacked to connect for tournament This looks like one of those pictures where then the headline is horrific plane crash kills my higher chest That looks like it yeah, you have three seconds to find my best friend, Cleveland Shit was it cool was that fun a fun event no it was way way too hot we only had like two Jenga boards or connect for yeah, I Sweat stains on my khakis. Yeah, you were dressed to the nines brother. It was really hot you're wearing your best sweater That's the what was Kyle about like you didn't go to WVU. You were just there. I was there. I was making the rounds.

Yeah, I was like, you know, starting to hit the charts and I was like, I got to be seen. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't work. You look like a killer returning to the crime scene. Well, you don't really you do not fit in. You changed a ton. I changed like three times that day because I kept sweating.

No, I'm saying physically, like face wise, that's not the same face. That's shaven, I don't know, looks like me. How many, what year did you get hired at Barstool? 19? The 18. 18, so that's two years before Barstool. Were you hungry Howie's pizza at this point this was you're just popping off But you're still doing delivering pizzas with flavored crust

This was 2015 16 yeah Are you sure that's what yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I was that was delivering pizzas You were delivering pizzas and you came back to WVU to talk your shit that you were popping off on the blogs? No, I was just waiting for other people to see if they, like they would bring it up. I did. And you did?

How many people brought it up? You. Just me? Yeah, it was a Facebook crowd. Oh my God. You've never accepted my Facebook friend request. It's still lingering yeah, okay, okay Post something on there right now I

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yeah big one Drake and Tyga in the like freshman year I didn't listen to rap ever like Eve like when you were at like a tailgate though you always claim this I don't know I couldn't tell you. But it was definitely playing. Dude, I like, I'm almost like, like, deaf, like, I can't, I never liked rap. It never like, resonated with me. I never really loved it either, but it was just always on. Not for me? Yeah, when we were out partying.

Not really, like, What was the guy that wore like glitter a Rapper mm-hmm. We're glitter. There's a flute in his songs. I loved him Oh Glitter donning rapper with the there's flutes flutes not little no sex. Yeah, that's who you're thinking a search rap song with flute in it I Mean it's going to be, that's going to come up with a future. Russ? No.

You like Russ? No, I didn't fucking like. You definitely love Russ. I don't know who Russ is. He's a Russ guy. Yep, yep. A hundred percent. His music's actually good.

It's meaningful. It's powerful. He actually puts effort in ways. He's actually, he's independent. He doesn't need a label. He produces's actually is independent. He doesn't label He produces all Roscoe Dash, oh He was he on some like fast food shit with Roscoe Dash He had a see it. He had some big ones. I

Think he has a song with a flute in it Yeah, no hands no, I don't know that song You have to know that song look ma no hands. He does I don't like it Just yeah, there's a song with flute in it never heard those songs if you existed you they yeah Maybe it's not Roscoe Dash fuck like this no. Oh, I like that song. I forgot about that song Roscoe dad Where's the glitter? I liked a guy with glitter. Do you think chains are glitter? No.

Glitter? All the Way Turned Up by Roscoe Dash. That has a flute in it. All the way turned up. Yeah, that song rocked. Yeah, I like that one. And he had glitter. Thank you!

That's from him on the Mo'Nique Show. That's what you remember before any of the popular, popular lyrics to that song? Yes. The glitter and the flute. Him getting his hair done. Oh my god dude. Every time I sit in front of a mic, I dig myself in a deeper and deeper gay hole.

That's not true at all. I do that. No you don't Rudy. I do. And you want us to bring up your fucking sexual conquests. He does. And I'm not going to do that. No, you don't Rudy and you want you want us to bring up your fucking sexual conquests He does and I'm not gonna do it. I'm just saying I do I do act Oh, yeah, you want us to bring oh, yeah, that man's gay the legs in the fucking. Yep No, I want to bring up legs and fucking I don't I'm saying I literally was in an accidental gay relationship. Yeah. Yeah, okay

Yeah, not gay enough for you accidental Mm-hmm. Oh Man, dude, okay. Yeah, not gay enough for you Accidental mm-hmm. Oh Man, dude, look at that picture Yeah, speak of dominance Rudy you dunked on Nick two weeks ago. I did actually the man. I did fool you Intellectual dunk and intellectual eyes. Yeah What they say right I learned my lesson by That's what they say, right? I learned my lesson by helping out Rudy. Poster, poster.

Yeah, it fell into my lap. I just like, it just worked out great. Felt good. Even I was surprised that it worked out. It's a good video, watch it, Donkey Kong. Yeah, it was a good one, thank you. Tony Anis, yeah, you pranked me, you get it. I'm not, I'm not like, I'm not a prankster.

You are, deep down, you are a prankster. How so? That's your essence. you have it in you that's what you used to do that's what you did the first day at Bar Store that's true you know elaborate pranks is your game yeah but it's just okay when was the last time you pranked yeah it's like I've been fucking I've convinced myself that I've aged past it, but I think that's I haven't. I feel like the pranks you do now is

like you're in the weight room and you put one plate on the bar and then like someone's using your like oopsies just kidding. And then you put two on. That's like is that your prank? Yeah, that's like your idea of a prayer. You like little silly jokes in the gym.

Do you feel like you're you when were you at your funniest? My funniest? I don't it's it's hard to hold a joke on the yak in like three weeks. Yeah, you know, I've just been kind of chilling. Watch the tapes.

Now, I think I'm tapped out. I tapped out after like New Orleans rediscovering America. 2022 beat me down. Yeah. Yeah. We have a new rediscovering America coming out and we've been shooting it. Like I don't even remember what we've done. Oh, and we also have the monkey boy hard drive. We have the three of you got it. Yeah. Yeah. No way. Yeah. That's awesome. Tapes. Yeah.

It was a, did you get Navy seals to get it back how the fuck kinda no, but Michelangelo texts this morning He has a cut and he said has been well received I don't know where to watch it, but we have the hard drive, but there's Rutledge has it on his desk But there's zero power cord and he's having a hell of a time trying to find the power cord that will adapt to this Oh, did he give you like a bullshit hard drive? It's a doozy of it's a big boy It's a big boy, but Clemmer brought it with him, and I couldn't even tell you We joke and say that it'll be a tearjerker this or that I couldn't even recall a single thing

that's Don't we spend a lot of time doing it almost our like second half of the summer last year. Yeah Yeah, it's your medellin That's not a good thing though. It might be it might be our many. I want it to be my Aquaman Mm-hmm entourage is not a good show That was at the time you're the opposite audience for entourage. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I feel like anything on premium cable at that time people be like, oh, this is good. Oh Yeah, but it actually isn't I don't like you and I both watch that show about the height

The whole premise of the show is gym teacher big dick What show is that what yeah the gym teacher big dick show hung yeah, I've never seen it Oh read it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was like, oh this is this on HBO This is high art and the whole show is big gym teacher big dick But entourage is just just like no one claims it to be it's like this is a pleasure watch. It's a yeah It's a guilty. Is that it yeah, it's easy to consume mm-hmm. It's dude sex in the city. Oh wow mm-hmm yeah I'm still watching my fucking whores on Wisteria Lane. How's it going? It's really good.

It's really, really good. You would love Desperate Housewives, Kyle. No, I would not. Yes, you would, dude. It's everything you'd ever want in a show, and a lot more. No, I don't like drama for the sake of drama. It has Eva Longoria raping a boy. It has a redhead with, For the sake of drama it has Eva Longoria raping a boy it has

A redhead with She's a sex this isn't a this isn't a reality show no sick. Yeah, it's a sitcom dramedy yeah a drama yeah give it a shot okay any recs for me One of those like indoor swings that you can put like somewhere in your house Well, dude, I moved and I don't have patio swing, but you can put it into or I don't have high high ceilings anymore Okay Crave cereal can Can't have it. Okay. Ummm...

Boxing? Okay, I'll start boxing. Alright, thanks man. You're welcome for the ride. You would look so funny in boxing gear. Why? Because of your legs. Those shorts make the biggest noise. Oh, you're the leg guy now.

Now, I saw, um, you should go see the new Mad Max. It's fucking tight. It's super sick All right, I'll go do that. That'll be my new thing. Yeah, I'll be going to see one movie is my new fucking thing Oh, you're that one guy that saw the movie the Mad Max guy Are you on or off of VR right now on it heavy in its? healthy relationship VR right now on it heavy and it's Healthy relationship You don't you were off it last week, right? No, I was on it last week. It's a healthy relationship now Yeah, you're on it without weed. It's like oh, I'm high Yeah, but you're back on uh-huh

Dude, I'm getting so high and I'm it's it's like this is the most pleasurable. I've like this is the best I've ever lived is Just getting high and looking at VR. And I just go, I use the Wander app. It's like $30. Okay. I've said this a million times, it's Google Maps, but you're in VR. So like yesterday I went up to Resolute Canada.

It's like one of the northernmost settlements in the world. Like as far as it gets, just exploring like this. Are you sitting or standing? Arctic town. What? Are you sitting or standing? Lying. You're lying on your back.

Yes. Isn't that disorienting for you? No, it's a little, yeah. And did you remember to touch your girlfriend's knee after? Every hour. Every hour? Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah.

I'm here. We're doing this together. What's she doing while you're doing this? Is she on hinge? Waiting for. Yeah. Texting her friends like I'm dating Terry Shaiba. Yeah.

My mouth is agape and I'm like slobbering. She is probably. Is she high as well? Oh no. No. She's waiting for me to get done so we can like do something together. And what does that usually consist of we've been watching survivor Okay, oh

Season 28 is that's my recommendation survivor. I've never seen it season 20 season 28 kagayan Okay, oh my it's it's banger after banger not just every episode is a banger every moment is a banger really yeah This is the one and now I'm gonna get spoilers No move not from you but uh Fucking that's fine No, it's not fine. Yeah, you just saw the winner. I didn't see the winner in didn't know But I know like it's gonna you couldn't tell I didn't know't know no no I saw as I honed right in on it

I could tell you But I won't yeah don't the seventh season is insanely good, so then I'll scale go to the seventh You don't have to watch it chronologically would you be good at Survivor KB? No What if you were asked to do surviving bar still here would you do it? I wouldn't want to yeah I feel like you'd win because you go under radar and people That would be the ass. I wouldn't have the social energy to to wit to outwit and to deceive and to form alliances like that that seems so exhausting what you

Should do it. I didn't get asked You should do it. I didn't get asked You should do the real one do real survivor be a beast yeah, I think you would be good at it legs You have to wear shorts. I'll be fine Won't do it you'd be good. I won't do it I was this close to a game show before and I won't do it again a real one I've talked about that though. Yeah maze runner. Yeah Yeah, we talked about yours was really cool in mine was naked Yeah, yours was naked and everybody else was asked to do it. Yeah, you just got scammed to send you send pics No, I didn't send yeah, you did sent pics. You sent shirtless pics underwear pic right to a dude in Bangalore

Yeah, oopsie dude we should hit the like the big screen. We should try to really pursue... Well, we had that big company meeting where we're all represented by agents now. But they said if you're big enough at the company, you'd get your agent one-on-one. But we're just jumbled in. We have the... We're sharing one. Yeah. Not you and I. We're sharing with everybody else, I think. We're in Genpop. Yeah, we are not you and I we're sharing with like everybody like everybody else I think we're in Jen, but we should we should ask yeah, we are in Jen pop Let's get let's get on a television show. Let's try to get it. Let's try to get a TV show Yeah, what I want to be an empire or power. Yeah, uh-huh. That'd be cool. I want to be in power

That sounds awesome. Is that Kerry Washington? I think it is All right, yeah yeah that's our yeah that's a photo show hell yeah I don't even know what it's about that's on stars I don't know if we can make it a premium cable no they have to change the title at a word in front of it if we're on it we could probably get on like a

low low low level game show like lingo lingo yeah I just remember the sound of the balls it like you made you pulled a letter out of a ball pit I think that was the whole premise of the game can do that yeah were you a game show kid growing up what did you watch growing up um magic school bus it's always sunny in Philadelphia you didn't watch that as a kid I mean as like a yeah well kid what did you watch like when you're like 10 11 12 wishbone reading rainbow? You only watch PBS a lot a lot of PBS okay, and Rugrats you know Nickelodeon mm-hmm

Were you guys biggest loser families at all no no didn't you? Larp is that with your mom didn't Larp tried it But it was a weekly tradition to watch the show with my entire oh, and he I never got into that We were an American Idol family, okay Oh, we big in the American and I was too old to when I went to the American Idol tour the concert in Pittsburgh too old for that 14 I think I was whatever Taylor Hicks season was I think I was probably 14. There's a lot of stuff I realized I was whatever Taylor Hicks season was I think I was probably 14. There was a lot of stuff I realized I was too old

to be doing That's not my fault though. I was like my dad was giving me piggyback rides And I was at the age where I could drive Like we would go to that like at the beach boardwalk. I would just hop on my dad's shoulders That was too old But he loved doing it. Yeah. Yeah, what he still now I had a I had a binky with those binkies that put in baby's mouth. I had those I had that when I was walking That's, uh.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was way too old. I had a wrist to wrist kid leash when I went to New York for the first time in fifth grade. Oh, that's too old for that. Yep. That's too old for that.

My mom, yeah. But it was wrist to wrist. So like you didn't know who was walking. That's a leash. You didn't know, it was, yeah. Okay. Yeah, nobody had the power. It wasn't hand, it wasn't hand. That's a leash. You didn't know it was. OK, yeah, nobody had the power. It wasn't it wasn't handled. OK, it was her loop loop.

So it could have just been that that young boy has that 45 year old woman right where he wants her. Yeah, yeah, it was like that fifth grade. Yeah. Yeah, too old. Yeah, it's really was like that fifth grade. Yeah Yeah, too old yeah, it's really really fucked with me I was too young to be driving though. I was too stupid to be on the interstate Yeah at 15. I was too afraid to drive on the interstate until like college Yes, I took back roads to Morgantown from Wheeling

Not feel that. It made an hour and a half drive, like four hours. Yeah, what were you doing that was like, this is above my age group? I'm advanced. My older, my best friend's older brother was in high school and he was like a junior in high school when we were in seventh grade and we would go to like concerts punk rock shows with him and like yeah but he would drive intimidating I don't ever do that yeah I don't I was I was a really really good boy almost too good not tattle-tail good

Ah probably I was too. Yeah, you tattled. No, I wasn't Tata wouldn't tattle Yeah, I was well behaved too I saw but when I first got my license I sped like a motherfucker though Yeah, yeah, I always associate you with sped. Yeah. I almost lost my license. Really? Yeah. I got down to one point. One point. I've never been pulled over. I rear ended a minivan because I was looking at myself in the rear view mirror. Never told my parents that. The day I got my license, I passed a school bus with it stop sign out really fast. Whoa. That's it. Yeah. That's an easy do. Oh dude. It's giant and yellow. The stop sign. What's the what's the most trouble you've ever gotten in? I know college you were bad,

but like in high school, you ever get caught wanking? No, I did by my mom's friend Lisa Seidel. Your mom's friend? Yeah, Lisa, my hairdresser. She still cuts my hair. Oh my god. How did that happen? I was home alone and she stopped by to drop something off. That next haircut was so quick. Dude, that's when I started growing my hair out.

I was like, I just gotta, I'm not getting a haircut for a year. It's like being canceled, you just gotta lay low for a while. Yeah, I Louis CK'd it for a little bit. Did she pretend? Yeah. Did she pretend not to see you? No.

Wait, did she just like walk into your room? Where were you? I was in the basement and she heard, like just, she was like, She heard you speaking it? Yeah, cause I'm moan. Ruthless? No.

I was moaning my own name Rule for all the mothers out there if your friend's son is moaning in the basement. Don't go check No, I wasn't moaning. It was like she probably just like was checking to see if anybody was there Well, you were you under a blanket. I was no I was right at the computer desk bare ass. I think pants elsewhere Remember the video A fake leather computer chair, but it was really really used so the leather was like peeling up So I know I had like pieces of pleather like stuck to my ass Leather was like peeling up so I know I had like pieces of pleather like stuck to my ass

Like a sweatband for some reason I know sweatband I was wearing an AC DC looks like it looks like roaring kitty I Remember the porn it was from a funny junk calm I believe Watching comedy poor. Yeah, it wasn't comedy I had to watch it on ebombs's World and Funny John. Because I didn't... No, there were porn sites. No, but I didn't know how to clear history. Oh, yeah. So I just went to websites where there could be pornography...

Bullshit. ...as much jokes. I didn't know how to clear history. You asked today how to open up an incognito window. I did. That was a fucking lie. Lie. I don't know how to do that.

I don't know... Fuck would you ever do that? Yeah, why would I ever need to do that? You've never jerked off on a laptop. I have but I don't need to fucking hide It's my laptop. I don't need to hide that I still do incognito really yeah use a laptop to beat off No phone once in a blue moon. Yeah, I didn't know how to do it on you put it on the big screen Yeah, I think that's again. I say it all the time the more tech a man uses to beat the sadder he is yeah Yeah, you use a laptop is crazy spit hand memory That's it so we got Intern Sam Goldfinger fresh out of college on the mic

What how are kids what are kids doing these days? Just for porn, and we're just talking about like what they're doing here come sit down because we went yeah you can put that down we went to Arizona your stomping grounds and we thought it would be like a intro to a early 2000s movie we thought there would be like dudes kick-flipping down the steps chicks sunbathing in the quad it was kind of everybody everybody's really heavily medicated, it seems, anti-Ds.

This was the same when I went to Hawaii. I was expecting fuss and a do. No fuss or a do. And like, you know. Was there fuss at Arizona? It's a fair amount of fuss. I'm sure there is. We always be like, oh, Gen Z doesn't party or fuck anymore.

I never partied or fucked Yeah, you did I never did I never party hard or fucked hard So you guys Drinking culture is still huge definitely let your day drinking Yeah, burning down the night staying up late. Are you like keg standing? No keg's like kinda out keg's out are you still playing flip cup, beer ball stack the cheese nah it's all beer die now

I don't know beer die, I heard it's fun it's really dumb that means you're bad at it yes, exactly what is it? you throw a die up and there's a cup in each of the corners of the table and you have to try to get it in The cup or like get it to hit off the cup and then like grab it Mm-hmm, and that's basically it. It's pretty

It turns its turn college parties. We were super into it, too It makes it like a middle school dance where just the girls are just standing there watching and the guys are Only every clip I've seen focused exclusively on this gameplay It just completely turns it like the whole goal of having the parties to meet chicks and then you get wrapped into a yeah I tournament well I need to learn what it is because I'm going to host the beer Olympics you are Comptons that everybody's dropping out of. That'll be fun though. Friend of Ains is Joey Avery's competing.

Oh, is he competing? Yeah, oh yeah. Good luck to him. Yeah, but I'm, beer Olympics, did you, you guys did them, right? Did them? Have you, have you done them before? No, I've never done anything like that.

I hosted one, or not hosted one, I went to one. I may have told this on the podcast before. Apologies if so, but I, I host, I went to one I may have told us on the podcast before Apologies if so, but I host I went to a beer Olympics the day. I had to put my shit suit ship down But it was like kind of short notice Like hey, Nick like I thought we had a couple days with him left And it was like breathing heavy had to get to the vet, but I was already dressed for beer Olympics What was your outfit? I was team Japan and I had my hair in a bun I had a blue silk kimono and

I had the headband that was the rising Sun I was walking around with like my hands making my eyes like through the now I'm joking about that, but I did have the I Had the wooden flip-flops on oh my to say goodbye to my shit And then my mom drove me to beer Olympics. Yeah after I don't cry. Yeah big time your eye blacks I bowed to the vet afterwards What were we doing in college that they might not be doing? Guys the kids fight fist fight. Yeah. Yeah, it's still in less common though. I feel like yeah Depends on school. We go to mm-hmm. What about dubstep? Oh, I love dubstep Back oh, it's back all the way. Oh, yeah fully back. Huh? I would have thought no our kids still listening to Roscoe Dash

No, okay What's the popular drug? Ketamine whoa heard this okay? That might be an Arizona thing. I don't know it's New York thing. I think I don't know Yeah, I feel like that that splintered out of Bushwick That's a cool. I'd say I have no fucking idea. I feel like for it hit Tucson. It has to be pretty big everywhere else. I feel like we're not the yeah Yeah, you got a remote Yeah, it's in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's in the middle of the desert. Yeah, but you liked it. It's a fun school definitely

Yeah, it's a fun school nice weather other than the summer A lot of pool parties. Yeah surrounded by concrete No, I've never seen a nice pool at an U of A. I had friends that went there and every pool party was just cinder blocks in a pool. Yeah, it's all concrete, wet concretes. People are just slipping. The water's always murky as shit.

Yeah. How the hoes? They're good, solid. Yeah, it looks like Afghanistan there. That's what it looks like. You think so? With a pool. Solid. Yeah, it looks like Afghanistan there. That's what it looks like. You think so? With a pool. Okay.

And enormously busty blondes. Yeah, so just like Afghanistan. Exactly, like it. Where the women can't show up toenail. Yeah. It's just like Afghanistan. Anything else, Kyle? Oh, that's it.

I'm busy, gotta wake up, go to a wedding. Best man KB. Yeah, yeah. What if anyone called Goldfinger like King Midas? Because of the golden touch? Yeah. Silver mouth. Who was the king that was naked and thought he was wearing clothes? The emperor. Did he have a name? I don't know that one. They said this clothes, the fabrics were so fine you couldn't see them. I don't know that. And he was just like, yes, I'll wear this. And he pranced naked through the crowd. You have a selective memory, a certain type of selective memory. Hans Christian Andersen. He's a legend.

Sounds like an actor. A Danish actor. Hans Christian Andersen I think did, maybe he did, what's the one with the Cheshire Cat? Alice in Wonderland? Something you know. He did The Little Mermaid. What do you mean he did The Little Mermaid? He's an author, but he did Emperor's New Clothes.

He wrote The Little Mermaid? That's awesome. That's impressive. Yeah, good for him. Fuck you. King Midas, did anyone ever call you that? Anybody ever call you King Midas? King Midas?

No. Hmm. Do you get it though? Yeah, I did. Okay. So it's been like referenced to you? No. Nobody's ever.

So that was the first time? Yeah. Your name is Goldfinger and no one's like. And nobody's ever. The guy who touches things and turns it to gold. Touches it with his finger. No one's actually made that connection for it. Oh. It's like your last

name being Green Thumb and they don't think you're a good gardener. You needed me. Like as your college buddy. You would. King Midas? I just don't think my friends are like intelligent enough to make that connection. Sam, you should bring Kyle back to ASU. Bring me back. Or no, just UA. UA? Yeah. U of A. and just like have him like like gold bring him to all the parties Yeah Midas I'd give you like no ease The kids still do that like prank their roommates like like oh dude I used to prank my roommate all the time a concert the dick. Yeah

Yeah, distracting thing yeah Mustard each other's like Oh, oh Vance we didn't have that yet. No Alright, alright, god bless. God bless