A New Untold Story - The Terminal Intake of Blue - A New Untold Story: Ep. 326

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

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Hey, A New Untold Story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad-free on Amazon Music. a new untold story episode i don't fucking know it's 326 and you just knew that or do you do you have anything else no which is sad uh for this place that i didn't know that off the top it's in ohio i've lived in ohio seven years across the river from ohio 18 years three two six it's6. It's Western Ohio without Cincinnati. Okay. It's like the Dayton area. Okay.

Dayton, Miami Valley. It's pretty hooptie. Not Daytona Beach or Miami, Florida. Dayton, Ohio, Miami Valley, Ohio. Ohio. The sixth most prominent city in Ohio. The third most prominent city in Western Ohio. What is?

Dayton. Cincinnati. Cincinnati, Toledo, Dayton. Third. Oh, yeah. Hamilton is coming up on their ass like a petty bitch. I've never even heard of Hamilton, Ohio. Slim Jesus.

Oh, okay. Cincinnati suburb. Dayton. I mean, what do we got to say about dayton aviation will uh orville and wilbur wright very cool but inventing the airplane and flying it themselves very cool but guess what if you want to pay homage to them you can go to a cement triangle in a field in dayton or you can go to sand dunes in Kitty Hawk or Kill Devil Hill, North Carolina. So, yeah, isn't there a war of who claims flight is Ohio or North Carolina?

They they flew the plane in North Carolina. That's North Carolina. They were just born in Ohio. So, yeah, Ohio should give that up. Doesn't North Carolina's license plate say first in flight or is that somebody's does? That's I'm pretty sure it's Illinois. Why would it be Illinois? Are they in the mix why would illinois be in the mix do they invent the hot air balloon hot air balloon has to be some british shit i think it's north carolina first in flight yeah dayton there's nothing nothing

toledo but i i you should running down sand dunes have you ever done it you can fall and not get hurt your ecstasy yeah it is very underrated I didn't get airborne I run like fine dude I look like the cover of that Beck album uh Odile when I'm running down sand dunes my mouth's a gate my hair's pushed back I look like a I look like a Maltese I would or a Lhasa Opsa oh for three I'm getting those references but uh no the Beck album the Lhasa Opsa the Lhasa those references. But the Beck album, the Lopsa Ops. The Lopsa Ops off the Beck album, Odele. It's before he hired somebody who'd only paints in root beer for his albums. Sand Dunes, running down them.

Amazing. Free, probably. I don't think you have to pay. No, no chance. You might have to. I would say it's you don't even don't get the hang glider. Just run down a blast in kill devil Hill or Kitty. You have a video of you running down a video.

You did a back flip. Yeah. You can flip it. I'm free. Carefree. Yeah. I guess it's pretty easy on the knees as well. Uh,

so Kyle cool. So, you know, axe throwing, you can do a back flip. Yeah. You're too tall. do backflips. Yes or no?

Okay, you just did the backflip. Okay. You just did the backflip. You didn't incorporate the dunes. It's on a dune. Yeah, but you didn't run down the dune. You just did a backflip on the sand. Incredible.

Incredible. Incredible. Kill Devil Hill, Kitty Hawk are two of the... The Outer Banks has the flyest sounding municipality names in the country. Then they have Duck and Nags Head. Nag, yeah. Kitty Hawk. And Ohio has awful names. The worst.

No, Pennsylvania is the worst. Pennsylvania is the worst. What else? Dayton. Kitty Hawk. And Ohio has awful names. The worst. No, Pennsylvania is the worst. Pennsylvania is the worst. What else, Dayton? Shout out. I know you guys think like Bellbrook and Beaver Creek are like Malibu and Calabasas. No. Shout out to the stamp sales from Kettering. Gay son, thought daughter, or the saluted dictatorian at Kettering Fairmont High School.

That's the second place one, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough one. Tough one. Oh, man. They got a 3.9 when they were calculating pi. He hit a little off.

A little off. And they're like, oh, but it rounds up. Nope. Not even. It doesn't round up. No, you'd round it down. What else with Dayton? I've never been. Oh, I gotta

I have to do this. I have to heat check the mayor. You have to heat check the Dayton mayor. I gotta start doing this. I'm gonna go to the Dayton mayor's Instagram and heat check it. Wait, are you just tweeting at him heat check? What's a heat check? No, I'm gonna heat check it right now. But what's that mean? I'm gonna see if he's dope or nope.

Is that what a heat check is?, I'm going to heat check it right now. But what's that mean? I'm going to see if he's dope or nope. Is that what a heat check is? Jeffrey Mims. 997 followers on Instagram. Okay. That's like a Delta Zeta's finsta. Last post was just a Merry Christmas. 19 likes. Come on.

But wait, wait. Was it just a picture? Let's see. Pull it up. Pull it up. But wait, wait, was it just a picture? Let's see. Pull it up.

Pull it up. He's got a he's got a navy blue suit with cobalt blue pants. Bright yellow tie. Big red patch. On the. The Peter Brady of his torso. OK, 47 likes. Yeah.

Heat check failed. Jeffrey Mims. Yep, heat check failed for Jeffrey Mims. Oh, no. The Gem City Roller Derby Club in Dayton has more followers than the mayor. Oh, no. The stereotypes are true about roller derby girls. Look at the quadriceps. You can pull it up yourself.

Yeah. Let me get on that. They look like rolled up wrestling mats. The last bastion of thighs that could actually crush your head like a oddly satisfying hydraulic press. Famous people. Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen from the West Wing. The father of Charlie and Emilio Estevez.

Name, Ramon Antonio Gerardo Estevez. Yeah. Holy shit. Known professor. He changed it to Martin Sheen. What a life. I'll run through it really quickly. He's Irish and Spanish. I think that's

not good. During birth, his left arm was... Wait, I'm sorry. Why is that not good? That's just not a good mix. Yeah, okay. His left arm was crushed by forceps and resulting in his arm being three inches shorter than his right arm.

Then he contracted polio as a child, bedridden for a year, arm, leg fucked 11 years old. Sheen's mother died. Orphanage, foster homes, 14 years old.

He organized a strike of, he was was he was abused as a golf caddy that's probably the safest profession in the world on paper golf caddy golf industry abused still so uh arrested 66 times for non-violent acts of civil disobedience okay okay martin sheen wow dayton tough draw how do you how do you break out of that or did you only what like the the did you just go to the back then you just like you you just they put you on the radio and then if you were good you're you're a star he didn't sing you start on the radio you got nothing for Miami, Ohio? I got nothing

What do you got? Nothing I think it's one of the greatest places on earth People say it's an underrated party school So underrated They call that what? The Harvard of the Midwest? They called University of Denver

The Harvard of the West You went there It's not Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah No, they don't I went there What are you going to mansplain my life? The Harvard of the what?

West So not Cal, not Stanford You're saying facts The University of Denver? Okay. Yeah. No, they don't. I went there. What are you going to explain my Harvard of the what West? So not Cal, not Stanford. You're saying University of Denver. Yeah. No, it's completely ridiculous. Yeah. It's ridiculous. I don't know that either.

No. Yeah. It's not at all the Harvard of the West. It's not even really technically in the West. Everything about it's false. It's the West. Yeah. Miami, Ohio, though.

Fantastic place. I've never been there either. It just can't be. Can't be at all per capita the hottest students on ohio is a ohio is a hot state i like ohio yeah yeah it is against all odds you guys i think do have pretty not us yeah but yeah yeah i think it's an attractive state what else well there's just a lot of people they call lake somerville in west virginia the one with the really clear water they call it the bahamas of the east yeah on their official website uh the bahamas is farther east so yeah that's a common misconception north people

don't realize they could have said of west virgin or even West. Yeah. The water is shockingly clear. Yeah. Wait, isn't there one in West Virginia to what the tearless thing I did with you? That's what we're talking about. Oh, I thought you're talking about Ohio. No, no, no. Fuck me up mentally. Got it. All right. The show sponsored by BetterHelp.

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today get 10 off your first month virtual therapy is the future yeah it's a no-brainer yeah i don't know why you'd ever want to go in person um maybe the chair chairs they have nice chairs usually yeah i guess laying down on one of those things is probably nice they have books i bet you the room's probably pretty cool cozy i like a good cozy room yeah they're like an abacus what's that my computer the book oh it was this was in here it is the um the lisa ann the lisa ann story the life back i was reading the first chapter book lisa great book this is actually this is actually uh dive into that let me dive into that book i don't know uh what the word is for this i guess not serendipitous but i guess just a coincidence coincidence. I actually, uh, did a little revisit of Lisa and last night for the first time in a while. Really?

Yeah. There was some, what'd you watch? I had a Hank. I had a hankering for Lisa. Did you watch her teach her daughter? Ruka pages, boyfriend,

how to fuck her. Right? No, but I did. That came across my desk. This is the most early two thousands video of all time. And I don't even know if i can find it anymore but yeah i could i know all the names type that in directly to your phone it's going to be

the first result fuck i want that dude you guys seen that dude on tiktok that will find a sports game in the back of an old tv show oh yeah i want that guy to shift to erotic films yeah that would be an interesting style change for him. The first page, the first chapter of the prologue was about how she was recovering from a breast reduction surgery after retiring from the porn industry. And she got a phone call from her landline on her cell phone in the home she was in. Oh, whoa. Like a horror movie type vibe. Yeah.

I didn't get to the climax yet. Where was she at at not that kind of climax but she was in los angeles okay because i was going to say if i was in fucking fort worth texas she would have the gun yeah yeah i was fort worth words can't describe man uh no it was uh you know it's weird coming back to new york after being there. You know, the food is so good there. The style, it's, I don't know. You need to experience some culture shock. You're acting like you went to Milan.

No, it's just like, and excuse me if I'm slipping in and out of accent. No, you're not. No. You were there for a day. It's Fort Worth. It's like a very vanilla city. You know, just, I don't know. It was, it's something everybody should do once in their life if you have the time.

Fort Worth? That doesn't qualify for something you should do once in your life. Just go check it out if you have the time. It's just like they say you can't. Go check it out? No, that's not something you just go check out. I'm just acting like a girl that's been to Europe. I was getting pissed. That's one of those cities that you can fully

enjoy on google earth fort worth yes you could you could you could no it's just it's small it's right i liked dallas and i it's not it wasn't as bad as houston yeah but that's all i know about it but i was sent there with uh you know. I was sent to a 13 point dog. So I'm really curious why they wanted me out of the office. Yeah. We got a text message asking if we would be down. Yeah. Yeah.

So I said no. Yeah. But you said no after I sent the yes text message. So you fucked me real good. You fucked me. How? By saying yes before I could say no for both of us. I was going to say no for the both of us.

Oh, yeah. Now, I think that for those men on the streets, like, typically you just have to be a mic stand. But it would be a really good thing for, like, you know, like new employees. I couldn't do it. I can't. I don't blame you at all, man. There was nobody there. They sent me there.

And then we found out that students don't get back to the 17th first of all insane break this yeah and secondly they lost by 50 some points yeah it was a bona fide blowout just uh yeah almost an impossible blowout yeah that's those georgia's biggest win of the year and they played kent state yeah jesus christ yeah um but no i see i was about to slip into accent that went so fucking embarrassing but yeah uh if you guys have some money lying around i would go get rent rent a flat or you know just stay in a hostel there uh just check okay we'll do a competition. You can either do that or you can go to the dunes and run down the video.

Send your submissions in. You got to do one or the other. I want some shaggy dudes to be looking like that Beck album cover. Look it up. What? The Beck album cover. It's like a Lhasa Opsa jumping over a roll. Yeah.

I got back pretty late last night, but I tried to write some news beforehand. Let's get into that. Uganda, capital. Kampala. Uganda has declared an end to Ebola, saying they've completely defeated it. The only person to beat Ebola worse was me beating Kyle 265 to 66 in Wii Sports. He's a bad Ebola. Speaking of getting assaulted at the

lanes, Tory's sentencing has been delayed since he's hired a new lawyer. The last time this many eyes were on a sentence getting delayed, the King's speech won Best Picture on a completely unrelated note whatsoever because I couldn't think of a

segue universal has announced that they're building a new theme park opening in frisco texas apparently one of the most up and coming cities in the united states i don't know anything about yeah you were just right there it's just more dallas this is more dallas yeah the big dallas uh small dallas yeah but uh new theme park opening up in frisco, Texas for the first time in years. Theme parks have been profitable. And Universal CEO Mark Woodbury celebrated by saying parks get back in the black, which is also what Rosa's bus driver said. A retired Missouri priest has been arrested for possessing child porn, which is very unlike priests. Not the child porn part possessing.

They're usually the exorcists. That's all I have. But I'm just trying to lump. Remember when the news used to be like the entire episode? Yeah, that was unsustainable, I guess. I i'm gonna bring it back yeah yeah no we have some segments now i think yeah segment driven shows is what they wanted i had an idea for one if you want a segment yeah yeah i was uh trying to think of just something just to add uh a little value i was gonna do a amazon review of the week.

Oh. Remember when we would go into the worst reviewed Task Rabbits? Yeah. And we found this guy that was putting holes in walls hanging TVs. He was using a lot of toothpaste. He was filling them with toothpaste. That's awesome. He didn't have caulk, but he used toothpaste.

Yeah. How many reviews? He had three that were about toothpaste. But I hired a guy to hang my tv and that's how i found him yeah did you find a bad amazon review uh it's not so much bad it's just sort of just a very funny take on something um so this is a review by a guy named jake b and this is about a cube of tungsten which i guess is tungsten is uh you'd find that in in a light bulb yeah i may i guess i don't know that much about it but i guess people like to have it on their desks it's like it's a silver cube it's not the one that melts in your hand is it that's mercury i believe yeah mercury is always it's a liquid metal it's a liquid metal i think it like in certain like

extreme places in the solar system it can turn to a solid but not on earth but they like having these tungsten cubes because they're like kind of like you know master of the universe type vibes like you know yeah it's like a the continuum transfunction like american psycho type you know paraphernalia but it's the densest met one of the densest metals you can get so it's like wildly heavy even though it's really small he says that if you drop it in water it'll free fall like it's an air whoa they're very expensive too like even a little tiny cube is like 200 bucks so this guy said warning with the exclamation point emoji if you purchase this cube i hope you have two thousand dollars to spare because all you

will be all you'll think about is getting the four inch cube this thing is insane he's talking about a cube this is a metal cube he's talking about the four this is he has the smaller one that i couldn't figure that out i don't get one right now so they're they're the ones i found were like two hundred dollars so the two grand one i imagine if that's only four inches for two grand the one that you get for two hundred dollars must be the size of a tiny green apple or something. So this thing is insane. At first, one might think 300 is too much for a cube. Then consider that in your entire existence, you have never actually felt something this dense. So dense, you step back and reconsider everything you know about the material world.

Normal objects feel tiny and insignificant. The cube will fall in water as if it were falling through air and this thing is near indestructible it will outlast you and be with you your family for generations this is the ultimate desk item it's simultaneously an expression uh it is simultaneously an expression is he wrote this wrong i'm a good reader an expression is serious seriousness and gravity comedy and human ingenuity so somehow comedy comedy somehow he found it's yeah humor in a cube i don't even think you could riff off that key look at that cube i'm buying the cube to riff off of yeah it's a time it's just it's a metal cube it's a dense wait it's it's an inch but it weighs two and a half pounds yeah dense

trying to pitch it and then he wraps it up by saying, so yes, I absolutely recommend you get the cube. Be warned, though. Nothing will be the same. And wait a minute. 500. I could spend 500 for a two inch cube and you get a free one inch cube. Is it twistable? No.

It's a cube. So you can't solve it no no no okay well this guy colored this guy was trying to i mean he like all of a sudden became a fucking philosopher so it sounds like the only trick you can do is drop it in water yes and then like but in order for the trick to work it has to be extremely deep water to watch it fall so you have to just lose it effectively to have fun with it the uh four-inch cube is four grand. Oh, fuck. The four-inch cube is four...

And what is the one you're talking about? The one-inch cube is... Wait a minute, these reviews are insane. Everyone loves this at parties. This cube cured my mortality. Oh, come on. Will corrupt those who crave power. And then this one just says, it's nice.

My boyfriend loved it. He literally always has it on him. It weighs two pounds. Yeah. I just bought it. Did you get the $500 one? No, I got the $200 two inch cube. I'm going to have to buy one.

Don't want. Kyle, wait. Wait until we get one. You don't want on me. I would be more tempted to buy it as if it was so dense that if you put it on a coffee table, it would just shatter the coffee table. Yeah, I want to throw it at someone. I don't think you could. It's two pounds.

These reviews are insane. Yeah, it's way too heavy to throw. Really good-ass find. Good find. They're interesting, and it's mostly too heavy to throw. Really good ass find. Good find. They're interesting. And it's mostly just based on like the culture surrounding it. All everyone who grabs one all of a sudden becomes like possessed. Oh, my God.

The shipping is a lot because it's so fucking heavy. All right. I bought it. I got. Oh, fuck. I'm looking at his phone, guys. He hasn't confirmed. Okay.

He just did. He wasn't fronting. I bought the fucking his phone, guys. He hasn't hit confirm. Okay, he just did. Bye-bye. He wasn't fronting. I bought the fucking cube. All right, that'll be next week. We'll be doing experiments with that cube. I just want to dive in. That is insane. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Before I forget, I put out that video in Fort Worth yesterday, and there was this little kid that came up to me and grabbed my mic and he just said tcu sucks ass and it was good and somebody commented and they were like is that the kid from talladega nights and that was just like a joke that they made right the kid that was at the table yeah because that kid would be a lot older right and uh the somebody responded he's like nah that kid's dead and i was like first of all obviously that's not the kid second of all yeah that kid died he did die at 28

oh shit yeah it brought me down yeah but like the thing is that person of course that's not the kid but that person like took it seriously he's like no yeah that kid's dead yeah that's interesting was the person who pointed out made the joke about the kid the same one that replied that he was dead was he just looking for an opportunity to share that fact or he replied well he was like that kid's dead he was born in like somewhere alabama so it was probably that guy's hometown yeah like that was his claim to fame all right my cubes officially today on the yak i bought a lancer tactical gen 3 archon 9 inch m lock m4 airsoft rifle with delta stock black and gold for 230 on the yak today we were talking about

like buying ridiculous things and i forgot to even mention it because that was the whole point i bought let me see the piece why'd you get that it look why'd you get that um did your laser pointer ever come in it never came in they, someone just texted me from their fucking droid and was like, Hey, you sent the wrong address and they got your laser pointer. Someone. Yeah. This will be better. You know what comes in today for me?

What? It's my chain. Just got delivered. Chain? I bought a chain. Hell yeah, bro. What color? White gold.

Is there a pendant on it? No no i want to pick one out though i might get a locket here you go you just found one tungsten tungsten on the that'll be so that's gonna be heavy though light bulb shit next gonna be heavy i got a new i got the frank ocean yeah you're yeah you said uh you got that for christmas yeah i got it for christmas i didn't know he even made a no No, that's cool. Like, I always make fun of you for, like, dressing gay, but Frank Ocean's the epitome of, like, heterosexuality. I saw his bare chest recently in person. What?

Yeah. I was biking, and he was biking. Really? And he was going by me, and he had a hoodie on, and he unzipped the hoodie because it was, like, kind of... It was warm that day. Yeah. So he unzipped.

He unzipped a hoodie? Yeah. He unzipped his hoodie, bare chest underneath on his bike bike and then as he was going by i was like oh shit that's frank ocean did you like that spurt of warm weather we got i did you would love fort worth jesus i lived in texas no but it was humidity it's pretty it was it was about in the winter it's not as texas has this thing in that area like mid let me talk about it no no i love well yeah no so the thing that's most annoying about texas is it is like the absence of weather in the winter it's like 45 to 50 degrees so it's 50 would be warm 45 is uncomfortable because it's in between cold and hot and then there's usually like a 5 to 10 mile per hour breeze so it's just annoying in every

capacity it is like the most mid weather you could ever imagine it's like in between everything it's like mixing a crap you didn't go to the right spots fort worth was uh it's it was awesome i used to drive there from when i lived in wichita falls because there was nothing there that's in the northern panhandle yeah it's like right by oklahoma city just straight north of Dallas. I used to drive down there on Sundays on my off day and just go to Jamba Juice. That was my thrill. I love Jamba Juice. I haven't gone over. Yeah.

Tell me about it. You want to talk about a sad existence? That was until I discovered Skyrim. Oh, nice. That saved me. Kyle, do you have a dickhead of the week? I do. Let me guess.

Is it a no-bra the week? I do. Let me guess. Is it a no brainer? No. Wow. Not a no brainer. No. No. I think I think I know a new just as of like 20 minutes ago. Honorable mention.

My mom, she she she just went to the orthopedic today and they said she tore her rotator cuff. Oh, that's a pitcher's injury. She tore her rotator cuff. When we were over Christmas, she went ice skating and tore her rotator cuff. She was complaining. Everyone was like, nah, shut up. It's fine. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah. It's your shoulder. You were ice skating. So she's runner up for dickhead of the week. She tore her rotator cuff. I couldn't even do that. Tried. Partially tore it.

Could you do it running down a dune? Or is the impact too soft? I'm sure there's some injuries there. Other honorable mention is a Pokemon. Okay. So I think I know the dickhead of the week, but I don't know the honorable mention is a pokemon okay so i think i know the dickhead of the week but i don't know the honorable yeah well the dickhead of week the dickhead of the week has tried to contact you so i don't think and you've been but he couldn't so so so it's not a pokemon the the well we'll

say the honorable he he could be They could design one after this person. It's a person. Kind of. Honorable mention is Sizzlipede. It's a strip of bacon with a mustache. No, it's a centipede that's fire. It's a strip of bacon with whiskers. It's awesome.

It's a Redditor. It sucks. I didn't even look into it. I just saw stubby legs, fiery whiskers, strip of bacon. The dickhead of the week. A gentleman messaged me this morning. His name is Brawley. He said, sup, KB.

Need you to get a message to Nick for me. I'm a quadriplegic and huge anus fan. I've been pretty upset lately that there's been a real lack of quadriplegic jokes on the pod lately. If you can get Nick, in parentheses, the by far funnier and more clever one, end parentheses,

to throw in a quad joke every now and then, that would be great. And he goes out of his way to send me a picture of him. Yeah, you are. I believed you. I don't think you would lie about that um let me see his picture i'll show you and how does a picture prove it what's a picture of him in his chair oh okay well okay well what about hold on what about this just go for him he's the dickhead he hold on he's not how's he a dickhead do you hear what he said to me how he spoke to me i have all my dms closed and it's been there he is

oh undeniably wait a minute this ain't quad he's got his arm raised what how's he how's he have his arm up like that it must be stuck like this he has his arm around Henry Rowan Gardner shit you think his arm is stuck like this that's a para oh all the more reason

you're the dickhead of the week what else you say wait a paraplegic lying and saying they're a quadriplegic pussy or something would be the funniest thing that's what he's trying to do. It's like frowned upon in their community. Yeah. He says, also a big tennis fan, who do you like to win in the Australian Open?

Djokovic. And I might throw in a two-leg parlay just to flex on you. I might throw in anything to flex i might throw a penny into a wishing well a piece of paper into a trash can to flex i might flex to flex on you you're flexing with a two-leg parlay there you go yeah there you go dickhead of the week um dude you should follow him back i'm not all right um what about next week we do the roast of quadriplegics yeah we prep and we'll roast no no we'll all write jokes making fun roasting quadriplegics ever since we got this elevated stage we don't have to really worry about them

coming at us so we're safe do we only have one ad this week? Wise guy in a wheelchair. Uh-oh. Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Are you doing a Stephen Hawking impression right now? That was weak. That was weak. You were moving your fingers, too.

He didn't type it, did he? That's how he spoke. No, he looked at the letter. It was like eye tracking. Yeah, I watched a documentary. He couldn't move his arms. I watched a documentary with him and I could not figure out how he spoke. No, he looked at the letter. It was like eye tracking. Yeah, I watched a documentary. He couldn't move his arms. I watched a documentary with him and I couldn't figure, I could not figure out how he was typing. Kyle, you said you've been smoking spliffs.

True Crime, Loud Jays, and Boo Sobriety, which is a recipe for extreme fear. Yeah. Paranoia, cowardice. I'm like that. I'm the old school social anxiety like you ever knew that feeling are you turning into like it's like before lorazepam when you just had to gulp when you were scared like i've been feeling that type of anxiety like like shit that i haven't felt since um like jimbery oh it's it's the true crime and as obsessed as i am with it and as i'm putting on so many

people to it it's the most popular genre in anything i think but i'm still putting on people putting people onto it it's taken over my life and when i'm not watching it i'm like a like a knot in my stomach when you're not watching it yeah because it's all i consume have you been like leaving the house i haven't seen you on the weekends i've been i've been recluse um you've turned to like agoraphobic a little bit oh i'm terrified of people now yeah i'm avoiding interactions at all costs uh i gotta i gotta figure that out i gotta get you a blade i carry around a spider coat nice ass blade They always sell out real quick.

That'll make you more approachable. Yeah, that'll make you more approachable. I don't want to be the true crime guy who now has weapons himself. Yeah, I guess you're right. I got to tread lightly. I got to be the guy who's very afraid of it. You did just purchase a high caliber airsoft gun. Oh, yeah.

Why did you? What are you going to do with that? It was like an impulse funny buy, but no. I guess I'll use it. Where? In your apartment? Yes. Shooting targets or something?

Or what? What have I done? I went to that golf simulator and- You went to a five iron. It was easily the worst time of, like recent, in recent months, the worst moments I've had.

Is the technology up to snuff? The technology is so up to snuff that you know you're just bad at it there yeah so i went with my girlfriend and yeah her the athleticism that she's seen of me has been the philly basketball thing which you know like she's disgusted yeah like like sexually physically emotionally you just know it like that that was disgusting um what else she saw me sports oh i played tennis against her she's she was a fucking star yeah and so she has to divide her skill level by 10 just for me to like get it back hit it back to her so she's seen that which

is probably also repulsive yeah and then she's seen me get taken down by will compton that was my one thing i had i'm a wrestler she's seen me jump off a cliff gaily shoot a gun gaily how'd you how'd you shoot the gun gaily i i had to like i can't close one of my eyes oh yeah you're holding it i can't i can't wink i can't close one eye at a time why can can't you wink? So we went to this five iron golf thing and I was like, I knew this was going to be like, I need privacy and it's two things, but both like simulators share a room. And I walk in the guys like,

Hey, I listened to your podcast. I'm like, fuck. And then it's like, now I can't disrespect my girlfriend. I can't have a temper tantrum. Still did both in front of this man.

Don't tell anyone. Don't post my girlfriend. I can't have a temper tantrum. Still did both in front of this man. Don't tell anyone. Don't post about that. So the guy who worked there was like, we have infinite maps. Pick your poison. What do you want to play? And then we didn't even get to answer. He said, how about St. Andrews? Everyone loves St. Andrews.

So that's like the original golf course. No. And there's. Yeah. This shit was the hardest thing I've ever done. I you can only quadruple bogey. I quadruple bogey eight out of the nine. And then we left.

You didn't even do the ninth on like the fourth hole. I got into a sand pit and my ball was right in front of a big ledge, like four foot. And I just kept hitting it and it kept bouncing off the fucking ridge over and over again. And now I'm sweating. I'm angry. I'm like, do I throw a club? I think it'd be less embarrassing if I like threw something. Yeah.

Because I had to keep doing it over and over again. And that guy was watching. There was a part on the screen where you can like take a ball or whatever. I didn't see that. So I did it like 12 times. I knew it was going to happen every time. And I'm getting redder and more angry. yeah that was the one time i left the house and did your girlfriend do better than you she sucked ass too but yeah better than me uh i bumped into her without you which was an odd joe and the juice yeah i went up to get us and i got a comically

small coffee she's told me that did she she said She said, well, yeah. It was so tiny. It was like it was like I think they put it in an espresso cup. I think they accidentally gave me like an extra small. But then. Yeah. But I asked. I asked about you. I asked if you've been taking your blue.

She seemed to. Yeah. Everyone's seen the blue on my mouth. Got me on the methylene blue. And now I think it's just like a experimental substance for animals. i didn't know that i was just i went that was like when i tried to when you said me hey you tried this methylene blue it's great for your brain fog i looked it up and all i would find all i found was studies on animals yeah i went to uh like i searched like brain fog for myself and like i've been having trouble like stringing together sentences uh i like i am right

now and i searched like i found like a subreddit and they were like i took this and it like takes a protein away from something else and it like helps with like covid long covid and you just take it every morning take a shot of it um i just did one drop how How many did you do? One. Oh, well. I did one drop in a shot glass and fill the rest up. Yes. Were you swigging it? What is it called? What is that?

That little dropper, the glass dropper. I was doing five of those. Shut the fuck up. It says five to five in the morning, five at night. Oh, my God. Don't exceed 20. I was. Remember, I told you this is this is the bluest thing i've ever done seen it is and i was in my i was like going to work with a blue ass mouth it is

and it'll stain you forever like uh hold on let's let's go to our texts here i was i've been blue mouth it looked like i'm about to draw a crazy ass and i don't even think it's helping it might be hurting me look at this look at our text i say one to two drops in a shot glass dilute the rest with water don't do that more than five a day and you said on it shit's blue as hell dude i've been doing one drop okay and it's hardly it's like sky blue it's like like it's more yeah yeah i'll bring some of mine in it is the bluish shit has it turned your piss blue at all no my oh no i wish i could pee right now i maybe can my pee is pure green my pee has been green i actually want to do it my pee is

hold on hold on i can finish this yeah yeah finish that yeah, finish that. I didn't take it today, so this might affect it. It might be light green. Dude, I said one little drop. My pee has been dark green. Not blue, though. Just go in the corner. In the corner? Yeah.

It's a free country, brother. Go in the piss corner. Just take your headphones off. Methylene blue is an fda approved to treat a blood disorder called metho uh my globie in the that's a long word causes your red blood cells to bind to oxygen in a different way which results in less oxygen being delivered to your organs yeah i've been taking that every day but kyle's been taking a lot he's getting tight to that i've been taking it every day for a month kyle has surpassed my dosage in three days that's insane dude oh it treats uh

malaria nail fungus shock yeah it does it all apparently it also is used as an antidote for cyanide which is something that i think like only spies run into. Oh, it also can reduce your serotonin syndrome from taking cocaine, MDMA and amphetamines. Where's the bottle? It's in his pocket. Oh, you got it. You pouched it. Is the lid on tight, dude?

Imagine that puppy started leaking. No. Did you not get any out? It would have been the lousiest reveal in 2023. I didn't get enough out. Let me see that. It's just i didn't take it today but let me see i want to trust me my pee's been green a pee's been green if it's just normal piss i just want to see it's just normal piss i'm ashamed yeah i'm not lying let me see let's see your pee i pro it been green. Show me your pee. Let's get Malasek on this shit. Wait, yeah, let's get Malasek to start taking it.

They said you could take it intravenously and Malasek would do that in a heartbeat. Yeah, it's... It is kind of green. See that? You can tell it's kind of green. It's been so much greener. So much greener. There's a hue. You can see it's kind of green. It's been so much greener. That is a thimble of piss. You can see. There's a hue. You can see it, right?

I think it just looks like you're pretty hydrated, piss. Okay. Lousy reveal. Dude, I've been taking... I have to go home and document the supplements I've been taking because I haven't been feeling right. Off.

Everybody has been. I kind of want it to be. I don't like that, though. What? I want to be the guy. You want to be? Yeah, I know. That's why I haven't said anything.

You're gatekeeping ailments. I have a friend back home who woke up one morning and couldn't read from concussions. Oh, shit. Couldn't read? Yeah. oh couldn't read yeah that that's terrifying yeah rudy how many concussions have you had you guys probably both have a handful i got out really lucky i'd never got a concussion from hockey wow yeah never i had uh one really bad one okay that i know of um yeah so that could be a thing i'm lucky too because i think if i got too many it would be uh wasn't working with much to begin with you know i'm saying i think you're a smart guy in in unique ways yeah in unique ways very unique yeah it's

it's hard to uh dress cool that's hard to pick out I don't know what's cool. I go very plain. You can't try if you don't have it. I know. I could have had all these pieces. I would have never lumped them together. It's the lumping of pieces. I have pieces. The lumping of pieces. The best advice I can give is

if you enter a new social circle or a new place, just start dressing ridiculously off rip because then you set a status where like when you put together finally a good outfit people are like okay with it and when you have like weird outfits that don't really like bat an eye like for example if tommy smokes all of a sudden started dressing like me be clowned it'll be hilarious he would be clowned into oblivion yeah you have to set the status early even if you if you have trash fits.

As long as you wear ridiculous shit. I just got these new basketball shoes. They're huge. Physique is big, too. Yeah. You ever see the sneaker heads who look like Chester A. Arthur? They're real fat and stocky. The sneakers will never look cool on your frame, on your chubby, poorly frame.

Speaking of quadriplegics, I was saying the other day. Tyler tall tyler if you wanted to get into fashion skinny would be perfect yeah skinny's perfect i was saying the other day that tommy smokes actually looks like someone his body type is someone who's who's beat paralysis yeah yeah yeah he looks like someone who somehow champion paralysis and can figure out how to walk. But his astrophy remained. No, even his strut today, like it looks like he should have those two guide bars next to him. Yeah, he seems like an overly optimistic recent collegiate who is like doing a video where he's like walking. Do you have that guy on your TikTok? No.

I have the guy that is throwing a ball every day. I have a bunch of facial syndromes, but not that. Oh, no, I have a guy bunch of throwing a ball every day syndromes but not that oh no i have a guy that's throwing a ball every day on my tiktok i've been going to i've been watching this is embarrassing i've been watching live tiktok lives of like bar tip bars well you're you're in the world of t-shirts cinematic universe now yeah no it's like bartenders in i think dayton ohio like just film and you can just watch people interacting at the bar and it's kind of fun have you noticed everybody in the dance floor everybody's live all the time i fell into that too dude it actually is interesting why because it's like remote viewing you feel like god dude

because you don't have to like you can just like watch people's body language and how they interact without having i was watching people on on the dance floor at a bar. It's the lamest thing in the world to see. But that's how I would be. Right. Dude, one Christmas Eve, I couldn't sleep. And it was like I had the first iPhone that came out. And I bought an app.

I never bought apps back then. I did it on my parents' card. And I bought an app where you could just go into any like security camera and so i was watching like zoo footage it was it was amazing but you would like that just looking at security footage yeah yeah trying to catch something i was hate i sent that one guy i was hate watching wb mountaineer yeah why are you hating on him that gave me that gave me some serotonin this dude was was... He was fishing. He's lip syncing the country pop and be like,

Oh, I'm so handsome, Cara. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that means a lot. I'm the hottest guy you've seen. Thank you. Praise you. Praise you.

Thank you. Yeah, make sure to send that. Thanks for the roses. Thanks for the roses. Hit that. Double tap that screen. Thank you. I'm the hottest guy you've seen.

Thank you. That means a lot. I'm so humble. But then he was like mid-thank thanking somebody in the video you sent he got up and he just started lip syncing yeah that's what he was doing and i like what i liked about it was like his like pace of like getting close and then it was like a wave like coming in and going out like he would he would just like keep this like weird perpetual motion of like thirst trapping where he would like bite his lip get a little closer he's doing that yeah and then just slowly i was so i was i was like commenting like

what are you doing dude i was like this is cringe as hell um i kept commenting i was just like i'm i understand hating now especially from anonymous accounts you you got to do it sometimes did he respond to you no he wasn't acknowledging it he just reads the ones like oh yeah dude he was doing the thing that guys with one tattoo do everything to get him to see it so he was always going that's a date i don't know who would do something like that the most blatant one of all time is the day after you got yours and we had our new t-shirts and you were like let me stand up yeah did you roll your pant leg as well but you try to play it off like it went up or you you rolled your shorts a little bit i did everything you're describing there's no denying it i saw the picture and i winced let's see i win you remember this when we had our new shirts oh yeah it was wildly unapologetic i think you got called out for it

too and oh yeah i mean instantly who wouldn't i mean when i saw it i i almost reprimanded myself i'm posing like travis scott too i'm like looking down yeah you are yeah you are yeah it's a it's a dastardly it's a stain on my existence i want to get another one though thank you for the road i want to i want to get another one too thank you for the rose bless up thank you for the rose you got to get the country accent though too that adds an extra whole 10 of of like wincing to me yeah Yeah. I don't know where those guys, like those country, those hot country guys buy jeans.

They're always have like, they're the darkest wash, but then a real fader right here. And they have the, uh, they have sewing that have like the, that's a different color thread. They hug.

Nice. They're tight. They're always like, they fill jeans out. Like a Southern dude fills jeans out in a way that is sort of unique to the south, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Southern dudes have a nice build.

Follow me down that road. I almost bought a spear. OK. I went to this. So we're just doing weapons. I went to this store called Rural King and they were selling spears and I wanted one so bad, but I couldn't bring it back on the train. I was going to put it in a guitar case. How big is a spear? It was about four feet.

Spears are cool. Spears are cool as fuck. Were you going to learn how to use it? Learn? It's one of the... Knowing how to use a spear is... Like spinning it and all that shit? Like Qui-Gon Jinn? Sure. No. I was just going to throw it.

I might have to get a spear we'll see yeah we should all buy let's do uh next week uh let's do weapon week and uh quadriplegic week okay cool I kind of want to get a sickle sickles are cool yeah like a scythe or like is that I don't know that I can

never tell the difference I it's like interchangeable or am I fucked up a sickle is like what the grim reaper uses or is that a scythe i think that's a sickle i think a scythe is like a farming tool but isn't that what the i don't know will your uh airsoft gun be in should be yeah but like you're not going to be able to like carry that around without being arrested that's after i put electric tape over the the orange tip of the gun. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, to fill it out. And then, yeah, it'll be something. Where are you going to put it? Just throw it on my beanbag. Is that a gulp? Yeah. Wait, did you get it to defend a house from break-ins or something? There has to be a reason for you getting it.

No, it was an impulse. They're cool toys. Dude, I wish toys were as cool as they are now. Did you see that Mario Kart toy? No. KFC got it for his kid, but it's been taking all the rage. It's a remote control car, and it has a camera in the front and you ride it around your house but it's on the tv but it builds like a mario kart track in your it's it's it's the

most insane technology ever it's like a vr yeah that's really fucking sick i was big into beyblades though i want those you were beyblade yeah yeah yeah you were sick dude did you say let it rip when i never did i thought that was too cringe i would bring it to like uh like the pool in the summers and like try to battle people what blade did you have i forget it was like gray i don't remember the name of it but it was like my blade my mine was orange and it was called king pumpkin i believe is what it was called did you call it that or was that it was the name of it and it was i was the only one in school that had King Pumpkin. It was in the very back of like the Toys R Us. It was super dusty.

It was sick and it was real low profile. It had wide ass wingspan. Good ass blade. But me and my boys had airsoft guns and wars growing up. I was like the poor kid in the friend group. And I would have like the 200 FPS pistol. And then my rich friend would come through

with like a 500 FPS AK and just light me up. Yeah. Yeah. It was. You had the one that like you had to like it was like the transparent doesn't look like a real gun. You had to spring it back and it like arc. And that way.

Say dot com. Yes. Shorty USA. Yeah. Yeah. And that way airsoft wars are actually like very realistic because you have countries and people that have less funding. It's like you were Ukraineraine yeah yeah dude i had a buddy that brought a fucking smoke grenade to

airsoft war really yeah i had a paintball grenade i remember that it didn't really work it didn't work at all and i was like i was waiting like paintball was about the outfits and i had like the the bulletproof vest with like the big pecs. And I had like the automatic hopper. I had a sick ass gun and I had the grenade on my, like clipped to my waist. And I waited until the end of the fight to throw it. Nothing.

Yeah. Even go. Yeah. They don't, they, I remember them never working. I had a buddy when we went air, uh, paintballing one time,

he just bought a suit at Goodwill. And I thought that was pretty awesome. That gave me a good laugh. He just wore a shitty ass suit, just literally a suit. That's and i thought that was pretty awesome that gave me a good laugh he just wore a shitty ass like a suit just literally a suit that's pretty cool yeah i thought that was i was so afraid to get hit i would find a hiding spot and not move i was one v1 max palachetti in his woods and we were we would it was us going to camp yeah let's camp out yeah alone yeah we were too afraid to advance so no one wanted we didn't want it hurts it hurts so bad i would hide i would hide i did not want to get in there i was just hiding i was just living primitively for three hours and my mom picked me up yeah i had yeah and then we were

like that was so much fun and none of us meant it she was like how was it you guys didn't get too violent did you and i was like we get a little bit fine it's a gunfight lying to me it's a gunfight my last go around with airsoft i think i was like or not airsoft paintball i think i was like 10 years old and me and my buddy went to this like weird new like place that was in a warehouse and i was hiding because i was a kid terrified to get hit and some like vietnam vet just snuck up from behind me and when you get close to someone you're supposed to like mercy them oh i didn't know that you're not supposed to like shoot people point blank yeah i was just cowering in a corner

he walked up behind me and just shot me point blank like in the kidney and i was bleeding and crying and i just like made my mom take me home never went back i uh played for barstool versus america and i was the only one that didn't have a uh like a body armor thing because i said no because i wanted to be able to move faster um and i got hit immediately it doesn't hurt anymore it wasn't bad and it was a lot of fun it doesn't hurt anymore doesn't hurt anymore i think they may have like uh thinned out the shells or we're just not children or not children that's the only thing i miss about drinking what is it things don't hurt as much when you drink it's like would you like fall or something yeah because i was nothing really hurt

and then it alleviated a lot of the anxiety and the the inhibition are you off the the booze forever that's that's a tough question yeah i don't want to be well then you probably won't be i'm 68 days sober wow do you have the app um if you're listening it'll be 69 and i gotta flex on the stop drinking subreddit gotta flex on them yeah get some karma hello karma. Hello, my fellow Reddit brethren. Amidst the whirlwind adventure we call sobriety. Never thought I'd get to 69 backslash S obligatory nice. So I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to spill my heart out about how fortunate and lucky I am. I'd be lying if I said it's been all roses and

rainbows this has been one of the hardest things i've ever had to do and i said had to because sobriety wasn't it wasn't an option for me it was no no imagine if it was your cake day too gold gold got a lot of updates yeah i'm not i haven't got to drink again does your girlfriend drink yeah just like just in like a opaque cup so i don't see it i told her that don't drink it in like a glass or a plastic cup i want i don't i don't want to see it really would it make you want to do okay i was like oh you you were never addicted no i was just it was too much of a dependency yeah i'm kind of i'm trying to get out of that too i think i'm i think i'm drinking too much i'm gonna try to stop

drinking i'm trying to stop drinking it works so well i did five days in a row just i'm off of it so uh i was hosting a friend and his girlfriend and then had to drink every night with them. And then I had to drink for the airplane. And then I had to drink to get the nerves for the video. Because you have to for so many content things. I was like, I need to be drunk for this. So I'd play and my life would be planned. Like, all right, here's the time where I'll drink before this.

Yeah. be drunk for this so i'd play and my life would be planned like all right here's the time where i'll drink before this yeah and then once you keep doing that then you're like oh this is more of my baseline than sobriety is and then you want to just keep it up to keep that feeling that's right when you're sober you then you're like what the this feels terrible that's right now yeah now it's a vicious it do you feel obligated to drink on stream yes it's more so like a habit thing now that and like just like the the social aspect of it is a blast yes it makes it's so good buying a round of dude i go to the bar and uh the whiskey tavern the one that i can't tell if it's gay or not they have spicy backs now which is a spicy pickle back you could i i had like 15 of them it's just spicy pickle juice and it's fucking amazing that sounds so good dude oh my god i'm being no you're it works so

well because it's not just it doesn't just make things more enjoyable it makes things that are the worst shittiest thing you could ever do fun that's why i like it more because i don't like crowded bars i don't like being around strangers. And like, dude, like for the man on the street stuff, it is that is truly. Hell, but like you go into a crowded bar soberly, that's like that. That's how that is. How I would quantify it or whatever as hell. OK.

And then when you're wasted, it's you've you've you love it. Mm hmm. I don't think I ever love it. it well there's a progression of drunk it starts out you're the you're uh the rookie drunk you're the sick kid and then you get to rookie then you get to the actual rookie drunk where you don't know what you're doing you kind of get sick sometimes you get dizzy then you get to the sweet spot it's like a euphoric superman feeling yes you just take two shots and you would feel invincible and you would feel a wave of euphoria. Yes. And then it gets to then you get to the stage where you're just good old fashioned hammer.

You have to drink a lot and it feels good and it's fun. But you get that's when you get the vicious hangovers. And then it's just. and then it's just i uh i don't like i don't like crowded bars or being forced to have conversations so what i've been doing is going to specific team bars on game days so i'll go to like the bills bar i'll go to a raven's bar and i'll just like cheer along with them and you don't have to like talk everybody's just looking at the screen but like drinking together and that is the best for me i don't even care about the game too much yeah i'm gonna yeah i can't wait to get back into it oh jesus no i'm not trying to like force you i'm not trying to like no yeah are you going to drink for like the case race i'm going to

build up my spliff tolerance are are they actually spliffs you're having do you have tobacco in them they're weed spliff is half weed half tobacco oh is that that's what a spliff is yeah this whole time what i thought that was just like i thought that was another word for weed that's what i thought yeah but when i've been saying i've been saying you guys have never checked me on that i don't give a fuck about tobacco i'm 100 thc take back the spliffs Now I have to retract everything I've said about spliffs and never say it again. I love saying spliff. Yeah. We'll start smoking spliffs.

It is cool. No, that's not my thing. Loud J's? You could do loud J's. Loud J's. Joint is not a spliff. There's no tobacco. Blunt has tobacco.

Wait, blunt has tobacco? Yeah, the blunt was just a blunt wrap is the tobacco wrap yeah what yeah tobacco leaf tobacco leaf that's holy shit yeah a joint is paper it's the cleanest way to smoke but like a backwood is tobacco leaf oh i didn't know that i thought it was brown paper i know no i'm not a spliff guy i'm a loud j guy i guess that changes everything you and what's khalifa maybe you would you smoke a spliff no i don't care about tobacco i don't get if you're doing a substance get high from it it gives you a buzz it gives you a nicotine i think i think you'd they're pretty cool what they're sweet. And you'd be able to say spliff again.

Why wouldn't I rather just do a stronger thing of weed? It's a combo of the nicotine and the weed. I don't care. It makes the landing zone a little bit safer. I don't need a landing zone. Yes, you've been to the hospital. You literally said you like being horizontal. That was necessary to get to the tolerance that I am now.

Yeah. So can you now smoke weed and go do something um no not not it's not i'm not at that point yet i was with tyler the other day we were oh we were faded as hell i had my split or can't even say it. Oh, no. I had a pocket J and he had a pen. And was that pen like chronically strong? That was a good pen? Tell me that was a very strong pen. Because I, oh my God. Yeah.

We were watching the Zac Efron DJ movie movie and i was like getting like i was like vibing to it hard and i went home and i would like hit the loud j again and then re-watched the the pcp scene the emirata scene at the music festival and the final his final track scene is it a good movie r.i.p what yeah And then the guy I talked about the guy from one win that I beat in a wrestling match the New Jersey State champion Alex

Schaefer he was in that movie. Surprise. Died in it. Your friend played the role. He's not my friend. I beat him.

He was a New Jersey State champion. I did beat him but I beat him in a summer tournament when he already had the role for win-win locked up. So I was training every day for this, and he

was acting. He just did that for fun, and I beat him. Damn. Mook has been bigger than us. Yeah, I love it. I i'm not posting you're just way

bigger yeah uh yeah like i'm not even close i i don't keep track religiously but where are you now do you have what's are you is it getting to your head no i hate it now i i actually like don't enjoy it because i'm are you Are you getting into like TikTok clicks with other? No, I haven't been approached by anyone. Actually, Rolling Loud wants to do something with me. Yes, do it. Yeah. What are you going to do?

The guy hit me up. What do you mean he wants to do something? The guy that runs their socials comments on every one of my TikToks. From the Rolling Loud account? From the Rolling Loud account. What's he want you to do? I don't know. He just gave me his number today.

Yeah, you say yes. I don't know what you could do. Yeah, I don't know he just gave me his number today yeah you will you say yes i don't know what you could do yeah i don't know what i could do but i i've hit a wall though where like i'm i'm retiring the the bit after today oh no no no don't do that don't do that you just made a company email nope it did yeah and it was just like it was gaz he was like mook does the same thing every fucking time and it does like what did he say like someone told me it was like uh it's the same video 30 different variations like people come back for the payoff yeah they love the payoff yeah um i don't know i i'm getting old like i don't like doing it anymore you know what i mean the enjoyment's gone for me that's how that's just how anything is i see even people commenting on like our anus tiktok and just like moot good posts like

good post beast and then you're like thanks legend yeah but it's getting like people just keep coming up to me and calling me beast now and like pimp and like legend and i'm it now i can't do the bit now embrace it all embrace it all keep going and whatever it is for rolling loud if you just have to go out on stage and say that. Yeah. Do it all. I don't think. Whatever qualms you have to like how you think you'd come across to other people, ignore it.

I'm like hammering this thing into the ground. Are people like yelling beast to you during like stand up sets? I just started working it out on stage and it's like kind of working. Yeah. Which is good. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Don't stop yeah yeah don't stop

i don't know dude i want to see how far you can hammer it to the ground i picked up 27 000 followers from this fucking bit yeah keep keep doing it you're on an you're on the apex is ellen no i want to get on uh i want to get on fallon and you know how he made addison ray do her dances yeah and he makes you do that. I want him to do the card. And I'm just like, yo, what's up, legend? You go into Rolling Loud and like opening for Ski Mask, the slump god, by just saying that into a mic would be cool. Yeah.

That would be cool. Yeah. It'd be really cool. But we'll see. I don't know. I'm getting sick of it personally. But if you guys think I should keep doing it, maybe I will. I don't know. I'm getting sick of it personally, but if you guys think I should keep doing it, maybe I will. I don't know.

I know you have a news joke, but before that, we keep we had a meeting months ago about getting actual guests. And I get the emails of like what guests we can have. And I've never responded to one. No. I don't get these emails either. We could get King Bach. King Bach. No, we can't.

Yeah. We have the list of the people that are going to be in the office. But like, I don't know. What would we do with guests? But like we had the email and they said it's good for the show. And like every time we have even like a barstool guest on the show, numbers wise, like double the show. I'm trying to think, yeah. It would be over Zoom.

It would be over Zoom. I want somebody in office. If you guys actually want guests, I'd be glad to have them. Okay, let's, should we try to get what would we do with a guest? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I feel like it'd be more fun if we just had like people we know that are friends with who you just talk to and riff.

I don't know about interviewing. Yeah, I don't think we're. I don't think we'd interview. Well, my God. No. No. What is that guy up to these days? King.

King batch. I think you guys undersell yourself on the interview aspect. It doesn't have to be an interview. You could fuck with them. You could, you know, just see where it goes. True, I guess. I've never really like had to interview someone. No.

Is that a no grunt? I mean, I'll get back on the booze. Okay. That's what it would take to have guests in back on the booze. You think? Yeah. And it'll be fun. Fair.

All right. Yeah. We'll get guests and that's when you can break sobriety. When we get a guest that we want. Yeah. I'm ready. Let's make it a thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It'd be like hot ones, but with shots. Yeah. Okay. Fuck. Fuck. It'll be good for numbers

numbers destroy me i've been checking numbers too much you never check yeah probably should the best for though the best part of my like whatever affliction i have plus the sobriety is um complete apathy towards social media and numbers and shit like that and feedback i just i don't look and it's and it's it's kind of dope yeah it'll kill you yeah yeah um the ultimate irony too is that when you become like super focused on numbers the numbers elude you but then when you stop caring, they show up. That's my experience.

They sent me to a 13-point dog. Yeah, they did. They did. Nobody in Georgia. Yeah, you could have just went to Athens, Georgia. That's almost a prank. I feel like almost. There's something amiss. Yeah. It's almost a prank. I feel like almost. There's something amiss. Yeah.

It's almost a prank. At least you got to hang with Fasoli. Didn't have Fasoli. I was with Booz. That's why I didn't go. Because no Fasoli? Booz. That's the Booz you're off.

You don't work with him anymore. Can't. Can't. No, but like they only sent. They've been. They only sent him and I. So nobody just get releases signed. signed so you just hired your boy i had to pay my buddy yeah how'd he do with the gig he did really really well like we had that little kid who looks like the dead kid from talladega nights and it's tough to get like a first of all that kid was just in the bar. I noticed that. Yeah. And he just grabbed my that kid was wasted.

That that kid, he had a beer tower all to himself. And he came up and grabbed my mic. But no, the guy, my friend Murphy went up to his dad. He was like, hey, we'll blur his face. And the dad was like, hell, you won't. And he was like, this kid wanted he wanted his son and he like called the wife got all the approval and like filled out this pretty hefty release for a minor when i saw that clip i was thinking to myself like maybe this is his key to internet fame being the tcu sucks ass

kid yeah if that kid gets found doesn't that work if you're like a southern kid who's really fucking annoying you just become famous just go viral famous yeah yeah isn't there like a couple going on now uh i mean that's like a thing in general like young southern couples that are married by like 17 and you know their instagram the kid just with a repugnant accent and face just sit like screams into the camera and then he's famous yeah like honey boo boo child well the kid that the the the wife swap got rid of the bacon what what that kid who there was a the wife swap show is for a long time ago yeah but now it's happening in tick on tiktok yeah kids are a cheat code yeah yeah that is a cheat code especially if it's a kid that cusses. It's funny.

Yeah, it's good. It is funny. Mookie, you got your dickhead? What do you got? I got two things. I got a news joke and I have a new segment that I could break out. Okay. Let's do it.

Oh, wait, one more. I want to, before you go into that, I'm sorry for pushing you off again and again. Kyle, I want you, I want to tell you a Pokemon and I want to get your first reaction of it i want you to look it up and i just want dickhead or not i want to name a couple okay uh love disc luv disc luv disc yeah yeah L-U-V-D-I-S-C? Yeah. Yeah. Dickhead or not? It's just the heart. Yeah, this sucks. Why? I'll admit, this sucks. Why?

I would admit that one sucks. The designs are atrocious. Those are doodles. It's a sideways heart with fish lips. It's a love disc. And a birthmark. Okay. No, I don't like it.

Why? No, I just want to get your thoughts on designs. Okay. What about Sock? S-A-W-K. He has a counterpart named Throw. I would welcome that being the spelling of Sock. Cool.

That's what a Pokemon should look like. That's cool. Yeah. Like someone who's going to fight, but it's not a fictional thing. It is a fiction. Yeah, that's cool. Okay. fictional thing it is a fiction yeah that's that's cool okay uh one more i'll think of let's look at one more here doing a little good cop bad cop i can see what you're doing you knew he's gonna like that one woo bat w-o-o-b-a-t

i don't know. No. No eyes. Okay. Let's actually. Because what they do is they take something that already exists, a bat, and they make it a bat. And then they just make everything else just some nonsensical. Just stroke of a pen.

How would you make sense? How would you like to sit down with me tomorrow morning? Turn on screen record and we tear every Pokemon. No. OK. I don't want to do that. right uh mook sir all right i'll do the uh news joke first uh a drug deal went bad in philadelphia over the weekend when a man was robbed beaten and lit on fire by three men after attempting to purchase marijuana i guess the dealers weren't lying when they said this shit is fire.

Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Make it more your brand and just be like when your drug dealer doesn't let you up on fire after three Bud Lights. When your drug dealer doesn't let you on fire after three Bud Lights. Thank you, legend. So much funnier. Yeah.

There's so much. Yeah. It was funny. It's got so it has so much life still yeah there's so it was funnier it's got so it has so much life still it's crazy there's so much legs yeah it's still still pretty good it doesn't feel good uh okay segment beast of the week

you just said you're gonna i'm going right back oh yeah beast of the week it's the only thing I have now. Beast of the Week. Easy choice, no-brainer. Coming out of Mocana, Illinois, a place with a 7,000 population. They all tend to lean conservative. A 5'6", 157-pound wrestler

out of Lincoln Way East High School, Kyle Langenderfer. Oh, High School, Kyle Langenderfer. Oh, come on with the Langenderfer. He won by decision over Kyle Bauer in February 2015, 4-3, adding to Illinois to advance to the semifinals, 38-0 over Kent State. He says out. Was this other Kyle good? He was national qualifier. Yeah, he was good. Fourth in the Big Ten. I bumped up a weight class.

I think I was doing green tee shots two nights before that because I thought the season was over. I had to fill in for Mike DePalma. Langenderfer has been on my radar. He has people always like, Kyle Langenderfer would beat your ass. Four to three. Not quite.

Beast of the week. Beast of the week. I like the segment. And I'll bring one next week. Next week is quadriplegic week. And weapons. And weapon week. Yeah.

And rest in peace to Ying Ying Zhang, who was kidnapped and murdered at the University of Illinois. Dude, do you feel this is a bad rabbit hole? I think you're scaring yourself. Not not really. I'm just alienating myself from people. You should download the citizen app, too. Well, now my tolerance for crime, it needs to be ghastly for me to care and follow about it. Yeah.

Could this be your Batman origin story? You start fighting crime on The Citizen app? I want to get into interrogating. That's my speed. Okay. Like badly. Not like stopping the crime, but. You should try to be like an arena football player.

Get really serious about it. How did you transition to that? I want to be an interrogator. Kind of unrealistic but if I could try and then you could try to be an arena football player. Okay. I'll look into that. I want to be a zookeeper still.

I tried to get poached. I tried to get poached last weekend. I went to the Central Park Zoo. I went to the Central Park Zoo this past weekend. 20 bucks. Was in the penguin exhibit. Was talking to the Central Park Zoo. What, a regional, like a small zoo? I went to the Central Park Zoo this past weekend. Yeah. 20 bucks. Was in the penguin exhibit. Was talking to the zookeeper. And yeah, I was just like, how do I get into this?

Because that's when you guys lose me. You look like you'd be a zookeeper. Thank you, bro. Because like you're kind of, they're all kind of tall and skinny. And then also beige reads well on you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You got to like bring your your own animal

there and like nurse it in front of them yeah yeah proof of concept yeah get like a gerbil or a sugar glider right give it some methane blue get it back get it right back speed up that evolution dude i've been dizzy constantly for the past since i've started doing that dizzy all the time yeah stop isn't that supposed to like stop the dizziness yeah i've been like the my left leg foot and arm like just involuntarily twitch and i feel like i only have like half strength in those are you having trouble i'm dropping a lot of shit my no i yeah i can't grip out i'm like i feel like this is have like half strength in those are you having trouble i'm dropping a lot of shit my no i yeah i can't great i'm like i feel like this is how like the beginning of a seizure feels like and i'm freaking out dude i i was dropping things so often oh boy we should stop we should just stop experimenting yeah but you gotta you gotta be wrong a thousand times before you're right yeah it's jam you know you did so you did way too much well yeah i did too much

how did you even i've never even heard of that i never did either the forums he told what does that mean it's not even on the forums i was like this is weird but i trust nick like he's i've been taking it he would never never take any mysterious substance. He would do extensive research and make sure it's very safe. And he would do the lowest dose possible. FDA approved, I'd do the lowest dose possible. Okay, we'll see. But I got a new one.

I can't even say the name. It's like this rare mountain fungus that I've been taking. You tried Lion's Mane? No. I think we're all about to be 30 i think that's just what it's going to be just experimenting with different alternative treatments right just because you're refusing to admit that you're just like getting a little older yeah yeah yeah that's what it is yeah truly i'm gonna i think i'm just my my i think i'm just gonna go i'm gonna try to drink

less and just go more into microdosing. Are you? Yeah. That's a 30s move. That is 100,000 percent, dude. Yeah. I've been microdosing nicotine just because I get too, too dizzy. I put a snus in for about 15 seconds and spit it out.

Oh, I macro dose nicotine. Yeah. I have two Zin pouches that have been in my mouth for like four hours. Double Zin. Double Zin. I don't even get what Zin pouches that have been in my mouth for like four hours. Double Zin. Double Zin. I don't even get what Zin is. I just put it in and then I feel no different or for 10 minutes, then I feel worse. Then I'm like sick.

Oh, really? Then I spit it out. Then I put a new one in. Do you constantly have one in? No. Do you have one in right now? Yeah, I have a Rogue in right now. Damn. I swallowed one the other day is that bad do you get sick i don't think it's good but nothing happened yeah nothing happened i was buzzing like crazy

fuck yeah it's an edible i think it's just salt nicotine and probably something that's gonna kill me in like 25 years there's gotta be something in there yeah there's nothing there's nothing that's it's not safe. Safer than the there's always something. Yeah. This is how the only way I could stop vaping. Mook's always shaking his jewel around. Yes. Little

child little boy. It's a tick dude. It's bad. His little pacifier. Dude quitting vaping is fucking tough man. That shit rules. Never got into it. Don't start brother. don't go there stick to the stick to the thing that might give you a seizure i'm setting up my 3d printer tonight i'm gonna try to make something you're gonna have like what just a two gatorade caps dude i should yeah do you want one give me the printed one well yeah yeah Gatorade caps. Dude, I should. Yeah. Do you want one?

Give me the printed one. Well, yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. I will. Anything else, boys? Nothing.

Oh, wow. We back this week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How'd you like it? It was chaotic at first. Once I got a hang of it, I wanted to play more. Yeah.

We have a smaller group. I don't think Mook's going to be able to make you a show yeah yeah so we won't have morgue the orc uh we'll be able to but i had a i had a blast yeah i want to be able to get longer tomorrow too yeah i had a blast people really people really liked it it was super fun i mean it got a lot of views on our youtube obviously there's me back at numbers again i I had fun. Yeah. Fun is the impetus. Yeah. I stopped having fun when I realized that I was doing the role playing thing, but I was my accent was annoying me, but I couldn't stop because then I was role playing. Yeah, I couldn't stop because then I had to admit defeat.

So let's still role play, but I will cast a spell on you in the game that changes your voice. Okay. It's good. forever. Okay, nice. Yeah, it's a loophole. Nice. It's a loophole. And Kyle, I want to watch what you're doing because I don't think you ever did any attacks last week. I was pressing. I was just pressing one of the keys.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That'll know. You got to click. Just clicking a lot. What I want to do, actually, I think Warrior... If Warrior does bad, the whole team dies. We might have to switch Rudy to Warrior and you to Mage. Yeah, but then the Mage takes one mental lapse from the Mage and the whole team is down and the die is screwed. Yeah, I didn't think about that one slip up from one flip from the mage and the whole squad it's like a domino effect so yeah yeah you are right the whole squad crumbles every every role

is vital but i had a blast dude i thought it was super fun it was it was yeah yeah well so we're doing that tomorrow right yeah so that'll be yeah okay so yeah when people are listening to this it'll be today cool yeah so when you're listening to this we're splitting our views kind of yeah yeah definitely it sucks that our podcast came out last week the the same day Dave was on Rogan. So it split our views, too. Rogan's probably pissed, too. Yeah, he is. Yeah. Also, guy loves to talk about wrestling.

Loves it. Does he love wrestling? I've never listened to Joe Rogan. Really? Yeah. Not even once? I don't think I like podcasts. Genuinely.

I just straight up could not. Yeah. When I worked in a corporate setting, I listened to them all day. Yeah. Like rotational. Like I had my podcast and now I can't, I don't listen to that. Yeah. I don't listen to really podcasts either, but you're right.

When I had an internship and you're doing a self spreadsheets, they're vital to survival. Yeah. Vital. Absolutely crucial. Yeah. No, he, he, he is this like wrestler. I saw some footage from Austin that couldn't be released, but he has he is this like wrestler uh i saw some footage from austin that couldn't be released but uh he has like a full like wrestling gym and he has a picture of this certain wrestler

like a wrestling right like yeah like oh yeah not like a not like hulk hogan like a like jordan burroughs i have no you can say any name yeah you can say any name but uh he uh he says i like to look at it because it reminds me every day that i'm being a pussy which was the most Joe Rogan thing I've ever heard that's like the still the wrestling mantra that they're still like leaning on that like we're not pussies right so to prove that I love that mantra that's that's that's they're still trying to make that like their brand yeah and to prove that we're not pussies, let's go wrestle dudes. I mean, that's. Yeah.

It's a fact. It's a fact. All right. Cool. Yeah. I want to go home and get some rest, Nick. I am tired. Yeah.

It's it's that those trips are a lot. Mm hmm. I want to start saying no to shit this year. Last thing, Joe Rogan. Every now and then I like to pull up this picture of great Russian wrestler Alexander Kairlin, just to remind me of how much of a pussy I am. OK, so he did say that publicly. Yeah, that's like, you know, that wrestler. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like a legend. But I don't know. There's other ways you can go about. Dude, that's like a legend, but I don't know. There's other ways you can go about looking at him. That's like he just got busted for having a good looking guy on his phone. He's like, no, it's just a reminder. Dude, that's a gay cover up. No, it's a reminder.

I'll have like a ripped ass bodybuilder as my background. No, it's motivation. Nah, dude. This is such a funny thing to say. It's a reminder how much of a pussy I am that's a cuckold move dude

alright new untold story big shout out to Fort Worth take me back take me back God bless God bless