A New Untold Story - Where Do You Draw The Line? - A New Untold Story: Ep. 411

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

armor, muppets, and a line. Ads: Gametime - Download the Gametime app today and use code UNTOLD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Rocket Money - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/UNTOLD. Butcherbox - Use code UNTOLD at https://butcherbox.com/untold to receive an additional $20 off. Factor - Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/kb50 and use code kb50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/anuspodcast

Hey, a new untold story listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen to ad free on Amazon Music. We go to roll. Yep. All right. Three, two, one. A new untold story episode. For 11. Amber. Amber is the color. Is that that 311?

Now, now that's it's the 411 right angel number no it's 311 the phone directory if you can riff riff about the white pages more power to you you got no you got no riffs about white pages no I'm just gonna say, no you're just gonna say like, no that's a new untold story Hey isn't that story old or told? Fuck no baby! It's a new untold story A new untold story It's a fresh baked untold story

A new untold story I knew I told you I knew I told you I knew I told you Yeah, I'm just in my white Max's, my wig woms, olive green marine layer. I'm not trying to reinvent the fashion wheel. Me either. Wearing a classic. No, before we get into anything, we had bad audio issues last episode. And I'm sorry about that, so there won't be any audio distracting this episode. Oh my god.

Is that hurting? It's heavy as fuck. It's too heavy? Yeah, dude, my armorer said, he lied to me. he lied to me my armor. So what do you got on body? Just chain mail just like under armor. Okay on on hands Gauntlets, I guess would be the term. Yeah, you he looks cool Rudy. I know you're jealous Unfortunately, yes, he does look very great Rudy's been in Chicago for a year and hasn't found an armorer yet

You look like a sword swallower groupie Dude who who convinced the world that sword swallowing is cool That you're taking the coolest thing and deep throating it. Yeah. Oh that that's the sword that kills people. I'll one up you. I guess that's what happens when you when juggling is sort of reaches. You've got to start swallowing swords. Is that just the direct they're like descendant at tournaments? The jester is like, I'm so sick of fucking juggling. I mean, one guy was like, boom, I can't wear this the whole episode. It's weighing you down.

Dudes wore this for entire quests. I'm sure a lot of you have fucked to completion in this. I I'm not built like this. No, you look cool, but you look like someone. I don't know about cool. But here's the thing, he looks like someone that went to a tournament where they do the jousting and the real knights fight, and he showed up

in a jersey of his favorite team. Yeah, this is the same thing. He's not wearing a knight, but he's a huge fan. I'm a fan. He's like the auxiliary mascot at the Rucker's Hell's Kitchen branch campus. Yeah. Yeah.

Joan of Arc's bestie. I always like to think that I would've been something cool in like medieval era. And when I put this on, I was like, I would've been a cobbler. I would've been fixing shoes. Yeah, and that's fine. Everybody needs them.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And is that, that's fine. Everybody needs them. Yeah. And is that that's inferior to the plate armor? You would wear this under plate. Oh, you put the plates over them. Yeah. I don't know how they killed anybody. You're just completely impervious to arrows and bludgeoning weapons. It depends. Every armor has a weakness point. I don't want to say the term But every armor has that Flaw Yeah, yeah, I don't want to I don't you're not actually going to the Renaissance fair. Are you I am?

But I might go to medieval times in this but I don't think like it's impractical. I I Realized like I don't think like it's impractical I I I realized like My money that I don't have much of has been dwindling dwindling Guess what I found out on the drive over here I want to cancel my gas for my last apartment that I haven't done yet And guess where I had to cancel my gas from My New York apartment. I've been paying for that. Hey, oh my gosh. Damn, dude.

How much is that a month? Like 60 bucks? Probably. That sucks. Yeah. That's a lot of gas. Do I look like somebody who's fiscally irresponsible? No. No. No, you don't.

You look like somebody who's scared of sharp objects. What? Yeah. This is somebody who embraces sharp objects. I'm, bring it on. You look like, you, you are a fucking pin cushion right now, pussy. Nah, dude. You're terrified of me and Kyle fight raw. You'd be a cobbler.

Don't say that. Yeah, I guess you guys do. I guess you guys do. I don't fight raw. No, no, I've always thought that. You two do always fight raw. I don't. I'm protected.

Your armor was a leotard. You and Kyle fight raw as fuck. That's what it dude. I don't I'm protected your armor was a leotard you and Kate no no gloves you were a bad knee pads you're in there to your are a raw fighter. Yeah Yeah What skin on skin? Ringworm that's your second gay accusation this week. I don't your mics on That's your second gay accusation this week. I don't know your mic's on. Oh, it was a slur.

He said a slur. Yeah, it was a bad one, too. I hope that you go to the Ren Fair or at least medieval times. I'm going to the Ren Fair sucks. But I hope why do you say that? It is. It's just a bunch of like quirky harmonies and people singing obnoxious. No, I'm going to drink mead from a horn and have a pen on a stick. Ye old roast beef It's a bunch of hyper sexual failed actors. That sounds like a chapel rome concert

That would be less. That's lesbians out the wazoo. I looked at like they do like Acrobatic comedy they try to infuse comedy with all their like sing songs Well, there was no entertainment back then that they're there. What is acrobatic comedy? I bet you slip it on banana peels and shit and naked cartwheel that would be funny as fuck Kyle That's funny as a naked car. Yeah, that's one of the funnier things you do naked Easily yeah Falling naked is very funny, too. I almost did in the shower the other day. That's scary scary when it happens People die people do yeah, yeah, they do but yeah people do die

die. People do. Yeah. Yeah, they do. But yeah, people do die. But episode 411. Yes, I can't believe I thought that was confusing. The last time we made it or at least the last time I made it to 411, you know, Nick, my pediatrician gave me enough lollipops for the whole sophomore class.

Did I was no, I was for 11. I was I turned 411 Going into freshman year summer, okay? No, I was kind of feeling myself at four almost five got poked Shawn Johnson on Facebook you poked Shawn Johnson Yeah, do you poking a big deal were you you poked her? That's not a big deal to poke her No, it was a big deal for me to get to 4'11". Oh, okay. Yeah, so I was like close enough to five. You were, you were like the,

you were the notorious Facebook poker in high school. I was a Facebook poster. Poker, you posted? I didn't poke, there was no, I understood at a young age that there was no point in poking. No way, then you'd be in a poke war. And then if you forgot. Oh, then you'd, then you mess it. Well no way then you'd be in a poke war and then if you Know that you deep then you mess it. Well. No then you like I'm gonna beat you

Though you wouldn't say that Jesus Christ you you don't stand a chance That's how you first DM to a girl's I'm gonna beat you Now you waited until they forgot then you're like forgot you did you forget something Yeah, you waited until they forgot and then you're like forgot you did you forget something? Never worked. No, but I gave the illusion that you were on the path to victory. When did Facebook get rid of the poke? Too late. Yeah, it really you were poking it during COVID

Kind of would play out a poke right now would play would yeah. Yeah fuck it would yeah It would it's like a throwback for famous 411s Lil Kim she's 411 Lil Kim is also 50 whoa It can't be Lil Kim at 50 she's she'd like oldest lil the oldest lil she might be Luke pull up her vanity fair shoot Oldest little she might be. Pull up her vanity fair shoot. It's her southern hemisphere. Have you seen it? Well, she got five feet wide.

She's she's oh, visually stunning to look at. Look at that. Oh, my God. Oh, she's had labor done. Not work. Yeah, hard labor. She got cauliflower face. Yeah. They don't even take her to a hospital. They think it's like a black smith. What is that shit? That is an absurd dimension She is uh that hat that has to be a little bit of Photoshop right that fucking of why I took a tooth She she she shaved like a tooth

She shaved like a fucking tooth What else? I don't know. Like a sword going into a yoga ball? A BB-8? The Star Wars thing? She, I don't know, I think she's not doing well. Maybe she's doing well.

Is she not, like, survival wise, not doing well? I think she's. Oh, look at that, dude, she is, that is a crazy, a crazy shape. Kim! Judy Garland. She was 4'11". 4'11".

Sad story, her. Going back to the 1930s, like when we were talking about, there were no rules. She got abused. Hollywood studios would buy women and just be like, you're in this and you can only have cigarettes Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm like They were force-feeding. They said 80 cigarettes a day. Yeah Just a little bit of broth. Yes food

Amphetamines and coffee and she wasn't that hot You'd think with that diet When she was like what what dude and they were like older Judy Garland of crow. I don't know how old she was How she was like 14 oh my god Oh, I didn't know that and all the people on site crow tin Lee and the whiz like wouldn't even look at her They didn't wait a minute Did you give nicknames to the other members? Crow, Scarecrow?

Tin. Tin Man. Lee, Cowardly, and The Wiz. And then the director, I think his name was Victor Fleming, would just take her out and smack the humor out of her if she laughed on set. If she broke, he would just take her out and smack her, and it was her if she laughed on set. If she broke he would just take her out and smack her and it was just a regular thing. This is the 1930s we share a lifetime with people the powers who are responsible for this

behavior. Yeah we do. That's like a grandparent. Yeah it's not that long ago. Less than a hundred years. Who else? So like some of the most successful people, like the successful directors just smacked Judy Garland. Smacked Judy Garland around. It says here they smacked the humor out of her. If she laughed at the lion. Have you ever heard the humor smacked out of you?

No. Teela Tequila, another cautionary tale. Yeah. Very much a Nazi. Yeah, she's full fledged like Nazi. She's 4'11". But she's an Asian Nazi. She is, she's Vietnamese.

Very rare. Yeah. Very rare. In 2013, she wrote an article called Why I Sympathize With Hitler, Part One. Oh! That's the most- Part one's the worst part of it.

That's the most anti-Semitic thing you can do. Yeah. Part one? That is an ominous title. And then she was like, started posting pictures in Nazi gear, like armbands. She had Nazi jerseys. She had Nazi jerseys? She had like the creamsicle colorway of Nazi jerseys.

Oh, she had a throwback, yeah. Was it Game Horn? And then, she told Ben Shapiro, get gassed in Semp Act is. Oh my God. And then they just like let her go on Big Brother. After that.

After that. And then she went on Big Brother. Then after that, she did more Nazi shit. I watched Double Shot of Love growing up. Or no, was that hers? Yeah, I never watched that. I loved that show. It was a guy and girl dating show

because she was bisexual. She was a bisexual Taiwanese Nazi, which is adjectives that don't go together. No, that's like the infinity stones of like wild shit. A bisexual Thai Nazi. There's something in there. There's gotta be something. 411 Sky Jackson, who's pregnant and arrested,

which is a tough combo. Yeah. She gave her boyfriend a little clobber. Four-eleven sky Jackson who is pregnant and arrested which is a tough combo yeah She she she gave her boyfriend a little clobber four eleven is a curse I guess I guess they're like brain is you didn't find a single white woman. That's for a lot of Oregon. Oh Judy Garland I'm sorry yeah, you you did a every race is for 11 and I think Danny Devito. He might be shorter though Oh is that her that's photoshopped right or is that she posts that on her own accord? You might be shorter though. Oh is that her that's photoshopped right or is that she posts that on her own accord? That looks fake that looks like the background they always use when someone dies That's a that's an image used by your mic still off business insider is on okay. You can't hear that Yeah that business insider use that Wow

Big ups to teal I had a crush on her me too. I don't anymore No, I got a guys. I can't take it her. Me too. I don't anymore. No. No. I gotta, guys, I can't. Take it off? Yeah, do you wanna wear it? Not really. Try it, okay.

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They're making it even easier to get into a game. Game Time Picks filters out the fluff to show you only Incredible deals and great seats if you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets filtering through a bunch of fucking junk Kyle What are you waiting for go buy the fucking Pearl Jam tickets right now? Download the game time app today and use code untold you and to LD to score easy great deals and game time picks What time is it? Hello, it's game time. There we go Rocket money Kyle. I hate interrupting the episode, but this is important

Yeah, a lot of you guys are financially moronic and poor This is gonna help you trust me If that cut you deep, then you know, it's true. Yes download rocket money Look through everything you're wasting money on and you'll gasp You will gasp. Oh, I'm spending it on this listen that might have to make some sacrifices Maybe you got to cancel some some subscriptions that you want Maybe you gotta cancel some subscriptions that you want. You might have to cut the cord on the Peacock app. But at least it's easy.

But you're gonna get some things in there that you don't want and you forgot about. Yeah, every time. Just the bottom line is you're gonna get money. That's right. It finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, it helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings.

Everybody needs a nest egg, Kyle. Stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money comm slash untold That's rocket money comm slash untold you and to LD rocket money comm slash untold You look naked. It does look like a nightgown. That's what they would call you. With your build, it looks like that's something like a hot chick. Stand up. It fits you like a mini skirt.

You look like a hot chick would stand up it fits you like a miniskirt. You look like a hot chick Thanks, you do it's like I'm wearing the hood that's anti-pun. That's that's anti-pun The hood looks stupid you look like a lot tonight, and you're wearing it yummy night Yeah, like you had a few walking of shame Sir Galahad trying to think of a night. I made coffee Do you have a shirt yeah, I'm not comfortable in this dress yeah grab that Hook up with a night and you have to sit on the edge of the bed like this like waiting for my uber Did you fuck a night? No got my phone

Yeah, uber pulls up to like the drawbridge has to come down you come clinking out I'll be right there. I'm crossing the moat. Yeah, I'll text you One of it one of the softest shirts That's one of the one of the softest shirts I love where my boyfriend's hoodies You feel protected would you wrestle better or worse in that worse, I'm very limited right now, but heavy heavy It's uncomfortable I Have a lot of respect to Knights. I guess they were also you didn't respect them I didn't like I don't really think about them as like real people I

Only think about them in fiction. I think I'm out on dorky shit. Oh, yeah, I swear, okay, Twitter This new Superman movies coming out and that actor sky the other look this up mook The internet was like there was a debate going on like you know every time they cast somebody It's like first look of Skyler gizmodo as Jimmy right there, and then people are like fuck this That's just a dude with his thumb up What are they Superman? No? He's not super. He's playing Jimmy Olsen. He's just a guy. What are they mad about? People are debating like this doesn't make any sense. He's playing Jimmy, but that's like the first look and it went like viral They were like that that's a guy in a jacket with his thumb up and that's causing stirring debates

He looks like the average dude that just died in the Death Star. He's a good actor. He's in righteous gemstones Yes, he is a good actor. Yeah, he's playing Jimmy Olsen boy. I don't know who Jimmy Olsen is He's up Superman's I think little boyfriend I Think Out on nerd shit So what are you in on Chris breezy the Chris breezy $1,100 meetups Rudy have you seen this?

No. Your girl Venmo requested you for $1,100. It costs $1,111. Yeah, Chris Brown meetup photos are my new favorite thing. Dude, he just bends girls over. And he's just like, picking them up by their ass cheeks. There was one where he was just spreading the girls ass cheeks.

Palm them like a basketball. His meet and greet photos are so fucking funny. If your girl's going to the Breezy meetommin' him like a basketball. Yeah, his meet and greet photos are so fucking funny. Just like if your girl's going to the breezy meet and greet, she's not your girl. He'll kiss, he'll fucking French them. But like there was one who was spreading a chick's ass and you could like see like the divot of her hole

and he's just like smiling in the camera and they're paying one, one, one, one for it. I know. But did you see what happened? There was a, yes, there was a Disappointed gave a gay boy Chris didn't do anything he turned his back. They did the Charlie's Angels pose Dude that's the most homophobic thing you could do with a gay guy just like let's Charlie's Angels paid a thousand dollars It's like to get air fucked by Chris to get flayed by Chris Brown

Butterfly filleted by Chris Brown and then Chris was like let's go back to back and their asses aren't even touching He didn't even give him the saddest. I was like smirking. Can you look that up? Breezy the breezy in the guy's face you get like you could tell he's a little hey I paid 1100 for this and compared to like all the other Yeah, the gay guys just like frowning And look at Chris Brown. He's not even letting his ass touch the guy And like like this guy this guy waited hours in line seeing girls get fucking the fucking legs lifted He brought out a swing set so they could do the spider dude. He he there was one chick

He put his arm down to his elbow down her throat And he was just like smiling like he caught like he did the Vince Carter. Yeah, he's Vince Carter hung in her Yeah, dude He's doing On this chick For I don't know I think he's prepping. Look at that. And then just that guy's waiting in line seeing all this. He's like sucking on their tits.

The guy is insane, dude. $1100. I don't know like who... Chris Brown going crazy with the love. I think I'm happy for both parties. I am too. He's making a killing.'s making one right exactly what they will except So

Mooc you haven't been good about your Chinese lessons. Yeah, you haven't been good about This one you have to fucking do you have to go to the Chris Breezy meet and greet. And they're going to have to drag you out if he doesn't fucking palm your ass. Look up in Chicago when Breezy will be here. Yes, yes. I hope that you walk in and he goes, oh hell no. And if he has already been here.

I want a photo of you in line. His 1111 tour. Where is he? Where is he? Are there tiers to this or is it just flat 1100? It's a one, one, one, one. But I'm saying like, do you get like, do you get more like, does he grip it harder if you pay more? Maybe? No, I don't think. I think it's just how you look. Whatever mood he's in. It's completely based on appearance. With MOOC he might just do two separate photos one of him and one of mook alone put it in the same frame

Mook you can be in Chicago. You're going somewhere to see it's on such a good show mook. He's such a good dancer He's like the white Justin Timberlake He's got he's got no dates no dates, okay, you will be doing this meet-and-greet. Yes Yeah, and it was easier than Chinese. Yeah Okay, okay, and yeah, but what am I wearing? Uh You got to look swagged out or hot I guess yeah, but I think I think like like I Think we spend about a grand on the fighting as well. I think like a prom suit.

Oh yeah? Prom fit. Yeah, that'd be funny. A duct tape suit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're a tuxedo with Timbalands. There was the competition, you could make the duct tape tux

and you could get like college tuition. Is this like a known thing? I think so. I don't know. There's like a national competition who could make the best duct tape prom outfits. No. I didn't know that. I was a big duct tape fan my knowledge I was I thought that ended at the wallet that did not end at the wallet

No, it didn't end at the wall. It must been fucking brutal in the nipples Yeah, all right mook. Yeah I Hope he like what if he just fucks mook It's probably the only thing he hasn't had. I'll get aggressive. Yeah. I'll feel him up. You'll get thrown out. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe shot.

He shoots me in the face. Yeah, he'll shoot you. They will pick you up and put you in a baby bonnet and carry you out. I can't wait for that. Yeah, I'm into the Chris Brown photo shoots and I'm uh I'm trying to get everybody backing on muppets. Muppets are funny

Genuinely good comedy. Yeah, I try to get you into muppets. Some of them are. Barstool camp. Yeah. You like some of them? I like H Ross Parrot. I Like Bunsen Honeydew. You like Bunsen Honeydew? Yeah. Bunsen Honeydew is not even the best. Bunsen Honeydew is a dick to beaker We'll get to we'll get to Bunsen Honeydew. You like Bunsen Honeydew? Yeah. Bunsen Honeydew's not even the best. Bunsen Honeydew's a dick to beaker. We'll get to Bunsen Honeydew. Let's start with KTF. KTF said all the right things. He made all the right moves. Kermit the Frog is the man.

That was his biggest downfall. He was a sensible muppet. Like, dude, you're playing a straight man in a universe of muppets. Jason Bateman based his whole career off Kermit. KTF, you're playing a straight man in a universe of muppets. Jason Bateman based his whole career off Kermit. KTF, you're a muppet. Stop calling him that. Stop calling him KTF.

It's Kermit. Yeah, he's a likable guy, but you're a muppet. Like Bunsen Honeydew was inventing exploding clothes. Don't tell me. Bunsen Honeydew was turning cottage cheese to gold. Don't fucking tell me. KTF is... You're trying... Stop saying that! Don't tell me you're trying to compare. Because Kermit the frog... Bunsen Honeydew. He's not even a frog. Who isn't even the star of his own segment?

It's Beaker. Okay. What is... What is... He's a dickhead to Beaker. What is KTF's best accomplishment? Landon Piggy. He only pulled pigs. And then everyone freaked out. Remember, they freaked out because he finally dumped her. Who by the way was smacking him around treating him like shit and he just took it. He got cucked by Droop. Who's Droop?

Rejected by Miss Mouse. But everyone freaked out because he upgraded to a thinner pig. Yes. Denise. A thinner pig. Yes. Denise. A thinner pig. But what was he good at? Everything.

He was funny. People are going to say. He broke the fourth wall and looked at the camera. Dude, he had. He was witty. He had an evil. But he's a muppet. Go be a muppet and do ridiculous shit.

He couldn't calm because he had to carry the fucking show. He had an evil twin, Constantine, always trying to kill him. Constantine had a mole on his hand. That was the only difference we had to do. fucking show. He had an evil twin, Constantine, always trying to kill him. Constantine had a mole on his hand. That was the only difference we had to do. He never knew his father, and then he found out who his father was. Guess what?

Him and Fozzie Bear have the same dad. No, no. Yes. Kermit the Frog is Jim Henson's mother's spring coat. What? Her turquoise spring coat. He made her out of that? That's what he came from.

That's amazing. He wasn't even a frog for the first 15 years of his career. What was he? He was just a general- Muppet. Amphibian looking creature. Then he's like, oh, I'm the frog. Then what does fucking honey do happen? And we know his formula.

He's gonna go on these interviews and he's gonna flirt and get flirted with by human women. Yeah But then he's gonna go home and pull a pig He he is more famous than a lot of humans. What do you think? He's also they'd say he's a good musician. Yeah, it ain't easy being green his top song rainbow connection Okay. Yeah It ain't easy being green his top song rainbow connection, okay? Yeah Peaked at 25th on the billboard that's high Puppet fog you Iowen row that's southern Methodist his cousin or his nephew Robin

Peaked at number eight wait Robin had a bigger hit yes Kermit's biggest hit was 25th wait Wait, what's Robin's song? He had some... he charted on the UK. You're lying to me. You're lying to me. Robin the Frog? Robin the Frog. Oh no. He charted... I'm saying like I like Kermit. What do you like about Bunsen? But he's just... Bunsen Honeydew didn't pretend to be a human. Bunsen Honeydew didn't. He wasn't a human scientist. He was a muppet exploding clothes and being devious. Look at him.

But Bunsen Honeydew's best trait is his fucking dead uncle. Uncle Deadly? No. Well, Uncle Deadly was cool too. Uncle Deadly's of course cool. I'm talking about fucking Baron Petrie von Honeydew. I don't know him. Yeah, he's a dead uncle

Beaker is significantly better than Bunsen. I bet I bet you there is no Bunsen merch on them Beaker got bitched Beaker didn't get alright another thing h Ross parrot whose h Ross parrot He put his whole life into the alphabet. He was an advocate. He was an advocate for the middle of the alphabet Ross Perot Well that was a play on that stuff of yeah Each Ross parent he's the one who gave LMNOP. It's like fluidity and flow no he did popularize He did the LMNOP flow he was obsessed with the alphabet He just wanted kids to say the alphabet. You like Atros Parrot.

I like Atros Parrot. I was looking- I mean, of course, you know. What? Gonzo, Swedish chef. People are trying to make Gonzo gay now. There's an article I read. They're trying to make, like they're saying

that everything he does supports the queer identity. Let Gonzo be Gonzo. Is he still doing shit? I think he's still going out of canons and whatnot. Okay. All right, I was looking through the Wiki and I found who your crew would be in the Muppets. I would go to the bar, you'd be like,

hey, I'm with my Muppets. I'd be like, whoa, I'm with my Muppets, should we link up? And then I walk in, you're probably with Fleet Scribbler and Floyd Pepper. Actually, no, that's who I'm with, actually. I'll be with Fleet Scribbler. I read it wrong. I'm with Fleet Scribbler.

That's my boy. I'm rolling in the bar with Fleet Scribbler. And I'm with Floyd Pepper. Yeah, that's a Muppet. That's a fucking Muppet. If I hear someone's bringing around a crew of that's my those are my boys Okay, you're with fucking chip the IT guy. He's the IT guy for up late with Miss Piggy That's who you're rolling in with Kyle

No, yeah, and you're with Eric the yodeling clam. He sucks. Yeah, Eric the yodeling clam. Yeah BDS eyes show me Yeah, I kind of like that you like him. Yeah, that's kind of cool. It's a different vibe the last guy looks like a vice reporter Hey did Bunsen Loki looks like Tim walls. Hey does but yeah like Bunsen Loki looks like Tim Walls. He does but yeah like Bunsen I don't diss I don't want the narrative to be that I hate Ktf yeah, no no you like him. I guess right. He's just not like he he needs to let loose Luke. I saw you you accidentally facetime me from your pocket this past weekend and

Why you went home and You went home You went home with Luke you what you went home with with Howard Tubman Who's Howard Tubman you went home with Howard Tubman dude? He's a Muppet. Go to his wiki. Aww. It looked like Howard Tubman. Read his wiki. She had a lot of makeup on.

Howard Tubman. Read the first line. Is a member of America's oldest and fattest family. The oldest and fattest family. The Tubmans of porksmith dude porksmith? i have mooc's location he's in porksmith a lot

what are you doing in porksmith? tell them you're with that old fat family we shared nachos together the oldest and fattest we're the whole the fattest and porksmith had to get dinner with the fucking What is their name the porksmith the Tubman's?

Do there there are 1500 muppets what yeah link hog throb Link hog oh yeah, I saw you playing um pong with Link hog throw yeah, you called elbow on him. He's the blonde cleft chin pig with a high opinion of himself He's he could pull dawn music That's cool. Don't you don't you know you just are you looking through the? Extended universe a little there is a ton of funny ones I'm into the muppets muppets are funny. I have a muppets tattoo. It's embarrassed

I've up this from Muppet Treasure Island on my forearm. Yeah, but no more nerd shit. I didn't know that yeah They're my most prominent visible tattoos from fucking muppet Treasure Island Which is what is it this one? Oh? That yeah, well, it's like it's the black spot Watch Muppet Treasure Island holds up all of us really good humor Then you start talking about Sesame Street my brain gets confused yeah, because the same universe gonzo's been in both quite Oscar the grouch was a different color in the first few episodes, and they turned green because he doesn't bathe That's yeah, it's pretty fun. I think it was like a beige.

Muppet shit. It's a cookie monster and then Kermit's like, I'm going to say the right thing. The Muppets don't exist without Kermit. Bunsen's paychecks, he should think. Kermit's a nobody without Muppets plural. What are you talking about? Kermit's done solo work. Do you think in the Muppet store is there any fucking honeydew merch? Yeah, who cares? What you do? It doesn't affect, it doesn't change or impact my opinion on Bidu.

What did you just call him? I don't know. No. There's none. There's a lot of Kermit. or impact my opinion on Bidu. What did you just call him? I don't know. No. There's none. There's a lot of Kermit. There's a lot of Kermit. There's Beaker! Look at that! His fucking assistant gets his own $150 canvas painting.

Oh my god. Dude, I can't believe there's this many Mopeds. I'm looking through it now. Nine inch snails? Yeah, there's a lot of like play on words Holy shit Yeah, not a single bit of honeydew merch Nate leaky. Who's Nate leaky? Oh? Yeah, it's like an androgynous. It's a good scroll boom mic guy. I think It's a good scroll Wow who here likes meat?

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That's code KB50 at factormeals.com slash KB50. Kyle, what do you know about Tristan da Cahuna? The island? No way, it's the most remote island in the most remote civilization in the world. Thousands of miles from the next people. And it's, what's the pop? It's low, it's probably like 100 people. have you looked at some of the I looked I was interested

I was looking at the map fascinating place. It's been a lot of cover. It's a crater Yeah, and the 60s a volcano erupted and everyone fled, but then they all came back because it looks awesome It's it's it's named like a video game Tristan the Kuna and it's Edinburgh like the video game. Tristan da Cunha, and it's Edinburgh, or like the seven seas is this town. Yeah, and there was the eruption right there in 1961. But then there's West Jews Point and East Jews Point on Snell's Beach.

I didn't know about that. Yeah. West Jews Point? Yeah. Kanye? Yeah, every time he points them out, you! Yeah. Oh time he puts about you. Yeah. There's West Jews point.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. They have a cat shaped lake. It's called cat shaped lake and it resembles a cat. Shockingly. It's like named like a World of Warcraft map. It's fascinating. They got a soggy plain ground filled. Gipsy's Gulch. It seems like a storybook-esque. It's fascinating. They got a like soggy plane grow out of killed gypsies Gulch

It's I want it seems like a storybook esque it is I recommend some YouTube videos on it Like on their map it is so whimsical you know normal maps have cities and names of mountains They just have potato patch Yeah, there's a fortnight Yeah, yeah, did you ever play for tonight never we are doing a subathon stream when this is out potato patch oh it's like fortnite yeah did you ever play fortnite? never we are doing a subathon stream when this is out tonight

and we're gonna have you game a little bit i'm gonna game yeah i have some japanese rhythm games for you to play oh those are fun no not vr ddr what does rhythm mean? What? Just like anything. How are they rhythmic?

It's like a song and you have to hit buttons based on the timing. Yeah, I'm down to play any game. And we are not going to stop until we complete the hardest feat of all time. We're going to fill out a blank crossword puzzle. Yeah, with just words. Like, so it doesn't have to be correct by any means, but it has to make sense what we fill in in the blank crossword puzzle So obviously it doesn't have to be an actual dictionary word. It can be like a proper noun or a phrase Yeah, but we have some leeway

We have to fill out a completely blank crossword puzzle and have it make sense. I'm excited for this. I am too Dude the island next to this island is just called inaccessible island Are you sure it's called that or labeled that? It's literally just says inaccessible island. That's are you sure it's called that it's quite little or labeled that it's literally just says I might be true. I heard they named it inaccessible island. That's fucking cool. Isn't that so imagine me I might Force when I the birth incomes of my child to be born there Is they may have ever been born in inaccessible island? I don't know I mean that would why would it be called in a one-line? Somebody's had to have been there To name it maybe you have to be somewhere to name it. Do you I guess that's a good point

But then it would just be accessible island God, you're right You're fucking right. What else you got going on B? I'm really excited about the NFL for the first time in my life Yeah, what do you got going on? You have fantasy team the NFL? Yeah, you do But I'm more excited to just watch and bet on it. I'm like actually I know the play You've had a parlay set for weeks. Yeah, I'm gonna wake up for oh my god And set like 20 parlay. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna set 20 parlay, yeah, they're gonna be three to five legs and

You know if I hit one I'm good, but if I don't I'm you know Fuck that's the thrill and I cannot wait to experience this Cannot wait to chase the golden bag. Oh, did you get a golden bag last year? I got it. No I got a couple two grands that's like a three-year no the golden bag is a It's ten plus what that's what I'm going for. I need to get momentum. So if I win one in week one and another in week two, then week three I'm going for the golden. Wow.

Yeah. I think I'm gonna go for some eight leg parlays. I would love to. I wanna be the Spider-Man. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I'll do eight legs. Can you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. do eight legs. Can you eat can you do that? Yeah? Yeah? Oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah free country dog

Damn I might have to get into it. Are you guys playing fantasy? No, I kind of I will always ask for name ideas. I got no name ideas to you No, oh, I just did alter. It sounds like you do I was trying to think I was trying to think I just do alter egos I was just Earl Dinklestein is that your alter ego mm-hmm mine's Perkins Cole nice. Yeah, if I had like have a name What alter ego? I don't have an alter ego Kyle Dean. Yeah, that could be traced back to you pretty easy It's the same first name What's your name? Uh Kyle?

It's the same first name What's your name? I'm losing my voice We played Monopoly last night and Monopoly I've said time and time again one of the worst games ever Prolonged and tedious fuss of a game just rolling dice. I think it gets a rep because it's like the first board game. Yeah, I'm sure that was like exciting at the time. You think maybe not. It's like the most exciting thing about the board game is mortgaging. Yeah, it was. It sucked.

My grandmother was always my dad always say your grandmother is the best monopoly player ever. You know who's going to win in the first turn so I Resimmon properties and that just meant that she was like a ruthless bitch Yeah, yeah, you're just you just wear people down. Yeah Rest in peace grandma. How'd she go? Classic style, I don't know really yeah old age. Yeah, that is classic. Yeah. Oh, I Don't know I bet you old age happened way later

Yeah, true old age always changes. I guess it does change. Yeah Like you do back in the day if you got strep throat, it was curtains. There was a lot of things that could kill you. Yeah But um people still lived long people died in Muppets. They kill off Muppets People died in Muppets. They killed off Arsenio Hall in Muppets twice They laced his cough syrup and he died and then they brought him back to Life and they he died again like the same episode they killed off Arsenio Hall in the Muppets universe But then Muppets died too. They also killed off Chrissy Metz No, they the sphere from this is us. Yes

They killed her off oh Yeah, it's crazy the wiki list of deaths of like Say something nice about Chrissy Metz good actress, okay We've done a lot we've dug into that girl You could dig pretty far she's lost a ton of weight We've done a lot. We've dug into that girl. You can dig pretty far. She's lost a ton of weight. Yeah, like Christian McCaffrey. OK. Not too bad.

Nice. This has legs. Best athlete in history history, maybe? White running back. White RB. RB's. RB's white. Cheddar. No, I can't think of anything.

I can't think of fantasy names that aren't just super cringy. Yeah, they're all cringy. Who's his wife? Miss Universe, right? Yeah, wasn't she with Danny Amendola? Olivia Colpo. Yeah. The brunette lady.

Olivia Colpo's running dildos. What the fuck does that mean? What's a running, what the fuck? Christian McAfrey is her like running dildo, her dashing dildo. I like that. Yeah, wait, Colpo's dashing dildo. There you go, if he's your star, Colpo's dashing dildo I like that yeah Culpo's dashing dildo. Yeah, that's a good. There you go if he's your star culpo's dashing dildo Who else I re-kill is some easy ones like what? Well

He has like eight kids to eight different women mm-hmm. He's like reproductively mischievous He's also done some things yeah, uh-huh bad things yeah Also said if you could do one other thing in this life would be a porn star he said that yeah He fucks like a dolphin He's on the perfect he's a cheetah all right call him the assaulty da wgs salty dogs silence violence of the maams. The Mams? What are the Mams? The women. No.

What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the boys in the league would love that. But he's like, people kind of just, let that slide a little bit.

He's like a, He's fast. He's beloved. I'm in a league with Anus listeners. Oh, that's cool. And I have Christian McCaffrey. Ooh. Dash. Something was amiss where they're like, okay, we're in there.

It's like an anus fan league. And I jumped in it and they're like, okay, let's do a random draft order. Nick, you're first. I don't know. I don't know. Mm hmm. Yeah. I wanted to appease the king. Yeah. Them the perks. I got Christian McCaffrey. Do I have to change my team name? What is it? No, I'm the Hamilton Tigers That's their actual name right the Hamilton Tiger cats, I don't know that's a good name. That's a great name

Thank you, but do I could be Olivia Colpo's running dildo Someone's got to use that dashing dildo if people get it. Do you think they will? No. Well, yeah, I think it's pretty straightforward. It's not. I don't know. I love I'm obsessed with NFL Tic Tocs, but they're so bad. I'm begging the social team to like get some creativity and zest.

Like just like say something bad about the Jaguars. That's like one of the better ones to do that. They're like, chicken wings or tacos? Wings. Who on the team would you give the ox to? And everyone's just like, me. Oh, PT. And it was like, who the fuck is PT?

And they never say who PT is. No one knows who PT is the whole video. Everyone's like me. Oh PT The whole video everyone's like I guess PT Who on the team is the best at basketball me what you mean me Ask anyone that's what we're doing who on the team would you never let date your daughter that was was a fun one when they went to Staphon Niggs. Tyree Kill. Yes. That's actually interesting. It's a nice look into the psyche.

Yeah. So what's your favorite muscle group to hit at the gym? Pucks. I know you like that one. Don't even lie. I know you like that one. You were very interested in that. But I think there's a weird ASMR quality,

because they're always walking on sidewalk with like cleats Yeah, and it's just a guy like voice. We've never had this I love getting to know like Like star athletes you do anything like a just a glance into who they are as a person And see if they want tacos or wings if they ask him that stuff Yeah, so how would you run it? What questions would you ask if you were the social media manager for the Pittsburgh Steelers? I guess I get it because they're probably Very reluctant to appear in these yeah But you got but some are you got to just give them the floor. I don't know I

Don't know, but you don't have to do the same thing that every other team does. Yeah Yeah football Football was that but you don't have to do the same thing that every other team does. Yeah. Yeah, football. Football. What was that? Just thinking about football. Well, nice, nice. Aren't we all? Everybody can relate to that.

Anything else, Moog? I have some fantasy football names. You have fantasy football names? These are specifically for J. Cole fans Okay, J. Cole fans. Yeah, so wait these are fantasy football names for J. Cole fans. Yes, I like this segment Yeah, let me see my neighbors think I'm selling dope I'm not gonna get any of these just to preface okay, so this one's called get off my dick or Okay, so this one's called get off my dick or gomd

You have to draft all four of the Eagles tight ends. It's grant calcutera Albert Okul, Obama Manny Rogers and Dallas Goddard So that one's prerequisite is you have to be a J Cole fan have to have every Eagles tight end Yeah, and play fantasy for these are like challenge. You really took a detour to get to that And then what was the first one? My name Malik, neighbors. My. Oh, OK. Yeah, that's good. And then I ran out of ideas. So yeah, of course you did.

I just did a chain me to a wall and fuck my ass. OK, yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty fucking good. I like that. OK, hold on. OK, you could do Forest Hills, what was it, Av? Drive.

Drive. Yeah. You have to take Tyreke Hill. Yeah. Forrest Gump. Yeah, you gotta draft Forrest Gump. You gotta draft Forrest Gump. Yeah.

And Ryan Gosling from Drive. And that's the team, Forest Hills Drive. That'd be team forest hills drive. That'd be a good fucking I've got a good team that name Just kind of falls into place. Yeah, yeah, I'm forest hills drive gump What was that one play he had gump had a hundred one-yard touchdown, but he was a kick return Yeah, so that's good good value. Yeah, we're in another stadium get calm Mm-hmm Yeah, mm-hmm we don't need to see it. Play for Bama. You see the Down syndrome lawyer?

No. There was a girl with Down syndrome passed the bar. Good for her. I know, that's amazing. They're also like winning beauty contests and they look very attractive. Where do you draw the line? Pilot he's before a little before pilot. I'm not gonna lie Maybe a little after uber driver

Between the not pilots a listen pilot is is, let's be real. Okay. Pilot is crazy. What if you were on the plane and you heard the intercom? Would you get off? Actually, no, I'm sure the training is extensive. Yes. Yeah, so if they made it. So you'd be fine.

What about, would you be fine with, I'll start easy. Sure. Like a hostess. Yes. Yeah. I'm trying to think of police officer. Yes.

If you, there was a, if you got your home broken into and then they rolled up. Yeah, I'm with that. I'm cool with that. Here and then they rolled up. Yeah, I'm with that. I'm cool with that. Here's one, tattoo artist. Yeah, that's a good one. The line is close to tattoo artists.

I don't know if it's above or below. That is a very good question. I would do it. I would for sure do it. I feel like they would start to improvise. I would just kind of let them do their thing. Dude, I would get something to like memorialize my grandma, and then I would like look away, and then I would look back, and I would just have like a fucking John Cena portrait. Did you draw an Oreo?

It looks great. Yeah, it's like a technical skill. I would understand. I would be afraid of right. It's just the liberties taken. Yeah. Direction. Yeah. I think you got to say yes. That's a choice. You have to say yes.

And it's probably tattoo artist might be the line. I think it is. I think it's dead on it. Yeah. I'm trying to think of anything else If I went to the circus and that was like the trapeze artist I would look away. I just wouldn't want to be afraid One that's definitely safe mechanic. Yes. Yeah, it's very good easy Yeah, most most things yeahki instructor, good. Fine. Of course, fine.

I came across a bodybuilder. Yeah? What about? They're strong. Barber. It's a below tattoo artist. For me, yes, because I go to great clips. They are.

They are, yeah. Dude, super cuts, yeah. They cut my hair like they're in NASCAR pit crew. That's why they're so fast and they just don't give a shit about the final product but it's always like whatever. It's fine. Barber, yes, for me. Rudy, what if they redid Lord of the Rings

and they recast Aragorn? Okay, let's not get crazy. It would be kind of sick. It would be, yes, I'm with that, but I would prefer if there wasn't just one, like Sauron being. Sauron, no, you couldn't do it to a villain. You're right. Dude, if Thanos in Avengers just was...

That's really... I don't think it changes anything. No. No, it doesn't. I really want to do the voice, but... No, I'm not going to do the voice. I might do the voice. You want to do the voice? I can do the voice. You want to do the voice? I can't do the voice. Okay. Do the voice.

I'm not going to do the voice. Barber, yes. Tattoo artist, yes. Uber driver, yes. Drug dealer, yes. Absolutely. I'd be like, that shit works good. I'm trying to get like, oh my god. No, I'd be like, I'm trying to get oh my god No, I'm trying to get like you Do you try this What about like What about Like a pediatrician no Or a doctor like doing a physical gynecologist

Yeah, I guess Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm trying to think of where I'd be like this This is a lot. It's definitely loud in this in this universe. We're occupying anything's possible just for the sake of argument plumber great I Think tattoo is really where you start getting What about like the UFC oh Yeah, yeah. But not all of them, just one. Right. Yeah. I feel like Dana would turn bright red

right now with excitement if you said that. Really? Yeah, that would be the best. Yeah. Did you ever have to you've wrestled against girls, haven't you? Yeah, I have. I have. This is like a repressed memory I lost to a girl. And my dad had to remind me recently.

Who was the girl? Her name is Devon. This is my first year. Oh, did she go? It was in the wheel. I'm small for a league. I don't think you know. Yes, I do.

Don't wave your finger at me. I went to Central. No, not her. OK, not her. I still remember some of the names. I think Shadiah Patterson. I beat her at the Harbor Creek Invitational. Handley.

But I attacked her, so I didn't pin her. I wanted more time on the mat. That was the only one. I was like 10. But there was a lot like I wrestled 103 my freshman year and there was a lot of girls in that weight class. There was always girls that are pretty good. But you lost to a girl?

What was that car ride home like? I lost to a deaf dude. That doesn't, that's so. Yeah, but I also beat him. Okay. Did you have to change up the tactics at all? I lost to, I beat a dude a dude who but barely who had like this syndrome leg syndrome where his upper body was that of a like a

225 pound bodybuilder and his legs were like spaghetti. Yeah What is sponge ball with the muscle arms? Yeah, yeah, but like Jack's spongebob and he was dangerous Yeah, I think that's almost an advantage. If I got in on his legs, it was game over, but he is such a strong upper body. But yeah, there was a dude with no legs, there was a few who were successful. Yeah, of course. Hard to wrestle.

Yeah, of course, how do you bring him down? Can't shit on him, yeah. How do you bring him down? But you ever compete in your respective craft against anyone disabled What is my craft? I mean you tell me I don't think I have a craft Yeah, you have a lot like art mm-hmm most Most were I think a little yeah, no I don't think

That changes anything if anything that adds to the appeal of it. It's an advantage there No podcast zero Third down center podcast I'm going to bet yes, but I know what it is. I'd go on it. I would too. I'd love to me, too It's probably better than the guys from Arizona State be more more my speed. No, they're still killing it. They're blowing up. They're blowing up. Yeah. They're huge.

Damn it. They're huge. Alright, anything else? No. Alright. Alright, friends. Whoa, is that a new sign-off? Yeah. Cool.