All Fantasy Everything - Best Friends from Movies (w/ Jay Larson, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: March 16, 2023As we are all best friends and we also love a nice moving picture, we figured it would be a great time to draft "Movie Best Friends!" We have a first timer with us, but he falls right in line... under the best friend umbrella as we are all filled with love. Sean absolutely will win the Entourage trivia challenge but that's neither here nor there. ENJOY!  Episode Guest: Jay Larson @jaylarsoncomedy IG: @jaylarsoncomedy  Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.  Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Venmo: @marissa-melnyk Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything
from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting best friends from movies.
Our guest today is the hilarious comedian
who's been featured on Conan, This American Life,
and Comedy Central.
His new special, Sounds Like Bruce, is coming to YouTube April 19th.
We're joined by the very funny Jay Larson.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me as always are my, ooh, Marissa put in brackets
here, best friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is going to discuss whether or not David should go see Creed 3 later.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, you both say yes?
It's worth a watch. It's fun, and the music is on point.
Good music.
One thing that took me out of it, so that's a big deal, because if it takes me out of it... That's what I worry about. It'll take me out of it so that's a big deal because if it takes me out of it that's what i worry about it'll take me out for sure jay have you seen creed 3 yet dude i haven't
seen creed 1 or 2 baby oh that's a good time you strike me as a big creed guy what well whatever
i just have to when you get to have kids you're just like all right do we go see puss in boots
are we going to check out creed 3 there's a two-year-old in the next room and I went to Creed 3 during the day yesterday.
You also skateboard during the day.
You're not a real dad.
He also left her home alone.
She just bailed.
There's a responsible two-year-old in the next room.
He put a knife and a bag of chips on the counter and any problems that came up, she could solve them herself.
If somebody shows up, you say, choose one and I'm going to fight with the other.
She did that. So, so you know check this out that opening song ian that's jay that's jay cole covering dray no yeah that's what i read on the that's what i read on
the internet no am i an asshole there's a there's a there's a that's that's the dr dray song the
watcher marissa marissa put air horns over everything I just said.
Absolutely not.
No.
I love that you made a bold statement,
and then you're like,
well, that's what I saw on the internet,
so I can't claim anything for days.
I love that you occupy a space in the internet where they're making rumors about J. Cole
pretending to be Dr. Dre.
Like, where were you at?
He's on the J. Cole rumor subreddit.
Yeah, I was on X videos reading the comments on a Dr. Dre. Like, where were you at? He was on the J. Cole rumor subreddit. Yeah, I was on there.
Well, I was on X videos reading the comments on a video.
Okay, I thought you read it on the Shade Room.
No, X videos is basically
where I get most of my information.
No, they play the original Dr. Dre song at the beginning,
and then later on, J. Cole kind of interpolates
those lyrics in a song as kind of a callback.
I listened to that so loud last night.
Like high school loud.
I was excited about it.
Where?
Just drive.
I had to go to a show last night at like 10,
which is shocking.
But anyway, yeah, go see it.
Yeah, you too.
You don't need the first two.
Go see Creed 3.
You don't need the first two.
I like Michael B. Jordan.
You do like Michael B.
Finally, some Michael.
These two, not Michael B. Jordan fans. I, myself, big Michael B. Jordan. michael jordan you do like michael but finally some michael these two not michael but jordan
fans i myself big michael but jordan i just he just feels like he's like the coolest dude every
interview you see he's just like is this a some i mean if you're gonna draft the best friend he
just seems like the guy yes yeah he's he's hot i mean he's like a handsome dude i guess and he's
charming in interviews, I suppose.
In a movie.
I find him bland.
I find him very bland.
I've never enjoyed it.
Interesting.
Jonathan Majors, who's also in this movie, on the other hand, rules in everything I've seen him in.
That's who I want to get some beer with.
He is icy.
That dude is terrifyingly shredded. He's so good.
I'll talk to you after you see it.
There's one workout,
obviously there's a montage.
I'm not wrecking anything by saying that.
There's one thing he does
where you're just like, no.
You talking about that one
where he climbs two ropes at the same time?
Uh-huh.
Oh my God, dude.
You already said enough.
Like I don't even need to see it.
I know what it is.
I was in the theater alone.
I was just like, no.
I did that to get up here to this podcast.
I know what you do. i know what you do i know
what you get out of bed dude i just have it right above i got two ropes my feet haven't touched my
floor in years dude my floors are spic and span that's right yeah my ropes are thick and greasy
dude no i don't think i could i don't think i ever did climb a rope successfully
i don't think that ever happened you never in gym class i don't think i ever got it i didn't but i
was a fat little guy there was no way i was climbing myself up there so i could look like
a pinata in front of everybody i got i got close in wrestling a couple times in wrestling practice
was that part of the training is climbing ropes ropes? For wrestling, yeah, we had to
climb ropes sometimes. But it's like, if you
can figure out the foot situation,
like the foot in, slide it up
and press off of that, it makes it a lot
better. Sidekicks.
Chuck Norris movie with Jonathan Brandes, they
show that. They do the whole technique. You remember that movie?
No. Yeah, I do. But the coming
down, it feels like that's
where you're going to burn your hands. There there's something about you just let go dude what are you talking about
like let's go all the way to the ground gym class yeah jordan broke a leg sack of sack of potatoes
in hindsight it is a crazy ass thing to make a bunch of kids do yeah just climb up to the roof
and then figure it out yeah big deal that feels like a vestigial thing from like when it was like we're gonna have another war soon we better get these 18 year olds
ready get right right right in high school we used to get to do archery in a closed gym in our third
gym on the top floor we were doing archery there's no way they do that anymore they can't let you
using real real arrows yeah real shit like into hay bales on the third
floor we had a so we had our gym our big gym the basketball gym there was an auxiliary gym
then upstairs there was a whole closed in no windows s extra gym that was like a box like a
for our big gym auxiliary gym an extra gym dude that's it. And then me, let's,
let's go golf.
Come on.
That's the force.
Let's hit the links.
I didn't,
we didn't do crazy stuff in my grade school,
Beaverton,
Oregon,
but we did play pickleball in the early nineties.
I will say that we were playing pickleball.
Wait,
you playing pickleball or paddle tennis pickleball that we were playing pickleball way before wait you playing pickleball
or paddle tennis pickleball they called it pickleball because i think it was invented in
washington really i think so hold on now i'm probably wrong about please please give me the
difference between paddles so paddle tennis is you're playing in a small tennis court and with
tennis balls you poke a hole in and then you use like
wooden rackets it's been down in venice for 40 50 years and then pickleball is like you're using
that ball that crazy like you know like a waffle ball yeah so wiffle ball paddle tennis is a whole
different game you know this was it was indeed pickleball and it was indeed invented in Bainbridge Island, Washington.
What year?
In 1965.
Don't throw the 1900 at me.
1900. You elitist.
Year of our Lord.
Year of our Lord, 1900.
Five and 60 years.
Is that the proper way to say it?
That's right.
Oh God, I'm going to annoy people the rest of my life with that.
Ian would do this back in the day.
If he was on his way home or something, he'd be like, hey, I'm stuck on the 405, so it's going to be a while.
It always made me laugh.
That's great.
You got to have fun.
Hey, you got to have fun with life.
You know what I mean?
My kitchen is also absolutely covered in fun sayings written on boards.
Is it?
absolutely covered in fun sayings written on boards is it and uh we when we were in michigan we were at a store and they had one thing that got me it said i laughed so hard tears ran down my leg
so laura's parents got it for us and now we hide it around the house for each other to find it's
like a flat little it's that's how you stay together right there i love something buried
rules we used to just like uh we used to just move the pronunciation on things like uh belbiv devoe was like belbiv devoe yeah you know what i mean yeah 90210 i love
that that's your first example belbiv devoe bbd son who are you talking to the big bbd podcast
speaking of that concert that dave went to i went and saw a Edition, BBD, Ralph Tressfan, Johnny Gill, and
B. Brown all at
Crypto. What?
I know Bobby's still got it.
Bobby does not have it, bro.
He does not have it.
Oh.
No, by it, we mean
silk underwear. He's got it.
What he always had.
Johnny Gill.
Johnny's always going to be able to blow i feel like ralph and mike were crushing it ding ding ralph
was like it like he hadn't missed a beat and same yeah ronnie devoe was just smooth he was in the
best shape they would literally go over in dance moves and grab bobby and like pull him into
positions and stuff to make sure he was like,
and it was cool to watch,
but wow.
Dance mom,
Ronnie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
Bobby ain't missing any meals.
The rest of them might've missed a couple.
So I,
I see why they'd still be on point.
I get it.
But I,
I,
I,
I bet you Bobby still got it to me.
He's got something.
The clap. Come on. Yeah to me. He's got something. The clap.
Come on.
Yeah.
He's got the clap.
What he's got you can't get rid of.
Yeah.
You can get rid of the clap.
You can medicate it.
You drink a shake, you get rid of the clap.
There you go.
They need to make it harder to get rid of.
They used to be hard to get rid of.
That's your policy you're coming out with?
Yeah.
Why do they need that?
And what old days are you reminiscing on when you could just get rid of the clap release?
My dick burned uphill both ways on the way to the hospital.
That guy whose dick burned uphill both ways on the way to the hospital is Sean Jordan.
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram.
Sean, I'm tired today.
You know what I mean?
I don't have another one.
Uh,
you don't need one man because I love you to death and I'm happy to see all of
you.
I'm happy to see you.
If you want to see me live and direct,
come to a Boulder,
Colorado Easter weekend,
April 7th and 8th.
I'll be at Fort Collins for comedy for it in a Fort Collins.
And then I'll be in Boulder on Easter Sunday at the Boulder Comedy Show.
And then come to High Note
last Thursday of April.
We got Chris Charpentier on the show.
And it's going to be a blast. Tickets will go on sale
at the beginning of April. Other than that,
just be groovy, man.
Nobody's going to any of that stuff, dude.
Nobody out there.
No way. Anybody here?
I'm not going. Jay's not going.
David, you going to any of Sean's shows?
Jay's going to bring his punk ass up here at some point.
So get on it.
Do you got a date for that yet, Jay?
Or am I letting a cat out of a bag?
I think you're letting a cat.
What podcast?
No, I thought you were coming up to do a show.
Oh, we'll see what happens.
I'm going to wenatchee
yeah the apple capital of the world dude dude bright lights big city baby they bring me out
dude they'd bring me out yeah they'll be my third time there i love going there i've been
a couple times in washington that's that's beautiful country yeah yeah i was up there
with your boy rory one time. He did a show in the dentist
basement that was like sponsoring the festival.
A dentist's basement?
There was a dentist that was like the big sponsor of the festival
and he had one of the shows at his house
in his basement. So there's like
75 people there
in this guy's basement. It sounds like
something Rory would be like, yeah, come do this.
I remember being at a... He was killing it.
He did great. Of course he did. That that's his whole vibe i remember someone was like the worst thing that can happen
is you go to a town you do a club and then some local kids like hey do you want to come do this
show it's in my backyard in a garage and you're like nah i don't know and they're like rory scoville
did it yeah and you're like yeah no of course Rory did it. Sean, was that the same dentist that offered free dental work to comedians?
No, that was different.
I never took that ride, but I heard about it.
I went ahead and ponied up the cash.
My jokes were never good enough that I would feel confident trading them for dental work.
I don't want the dental equivalent of my comedy.
I want the dental equivalent of my comedy i want the money equivalent i want i want the dental equivalent of like bill burr you know what i mean get in there and make it work not my yeah i need you to be elite yeah i don't need my
helping you pass 90 minutes ass dude some of those you remember ian there was the ohsu would do like
students the students would do like super cheap
dental work on you. That's the Oregon Health
Sciences University for all the listeners.
Oh, is it like going to Barbara
College to get your hair cut? Except it's your teeth.
Yeah, I got my teeth done by college
kids. My orthodonture,
that's, you went to grad students at
Tufts University when you had no money growing up
in Stoneham, Mass, baby. Well, yours were like
physiology majors, right? It wasn't even like they weren't even mosedonis nah sculptors going
in there sculptors one kid one kid was an art major but the kid he did good work did you beat
him up i never beat up anyone in my life oh yeah you've never been hit in the face have you no i
will say this my dentist as a kid was my uncle. So we got free dental work. You ready?
Cavities.
No,
Nova cane,
nothing.
Oh yeah.
Fuck with me.
That's worse than getting hit in the face.
I'll tell you.
As somebody who's been hit in the face,
what would you do?
Just go into like a,
like a,
like sort of a Zen state or just fucking what?
Yeah.
I was Zen at 12.
My mouth forged out my roots i remember
sitting there my whole body frozen except my my head was like you know shaking crying and just
like sweating like crazy and just dealing with the pain all the way to the root my uncle just
being like he was a hockey player he didn't give a shit why didn't he just didn't numb you up just
because he's just like deal with it
i don't know bro someone told me i i mentioned that to a dentist one time like oh yeah a lot of
a lot of dentists back in the day used to not do that for like especially for kids like they
didn't think it was like because the cavities usually aren't that deep or something i don't
know if you don't hit the nerve if you you can drill into a tooth and if you don't hit the nerve
don't doesn't hurt no see i can't do. I can't let someone who's not a professional tell me
professional things. When you
get a root canal... No, hold on.
I think I've had it done.
Is this the same guy who was telling us about that J. Cole song?
Or is this the guy who knows what he's talking about?
Different guy.
It's a different guy.
Yeah, Fort Comedy.
I'll be there. Fort Collins.
Yeah, nobody's going to that either
dude sorry i talked to a lot of people i hope you have fun though i'm gonna have a blast because i
have a good attitude and i love everybody so you have a great attitude so do you jay i appreciate
my sister tell my little sister maybe she'll come out i will adam's gonna bring his punk ass up they
can make a road trip and then what you know what could happen is i could just roll back with them
throw down for a night and then figure my way back to fort collins the
next day plans made done there you go i love that your plans include figure out how i get back to a
place and then you know roll the dice with my life hey man life is a highway it's like far too it is
far it's farther there's like hours farther than you want it to be it's not
like a yeah it's not a man's a bon vivant and he celebrates life 24 7 there's nothing we can do
about that i'm in a good mood that's what i'm saying tell you that i am in a very good mood
uh david borey also in a good mood cool guy jokes 87 on instagram no longer on twitter
you missed the boat folks never ever ever. That boat has been missed.
I'm over it.
Now, they can't see you on Elon Musk's website,
but where can they see you in person?
March 17th, High Note Comedy, Denver,
headliner Brittany Carney.
March 23rd through the 25th
at Rooster Teeth Feathers headlining.
And April 7th through the 9th
in Anchorage, Alaska.
The Before You Die Festival.
Dude, let's turn up Anchorage.
I can't.
I really have no idea what to expect.
I hear that's a hard drinking people.
Felons.
That's what you should expect.
That's where people go.
I've done stand up there.
Yeah, how was it?
We took these me and Freddie Lockhart.
I don't know if you know Freddie, but we took these people, three of them, a couple and their friend, back to the condo we were in.
And we're all hanging out, smoking weed.
And then one of the girls has a piece of can and she's just kind of crushing it up on the table.
And I'm a little high.
And then Freddie goes, yo, is that Coke?
And she's like, oh, no.
And I'm like, oh, phew.
Because that's not my vibe.
And then she goes, it's Oxycontin.
And then they all snorted oxy
to get this couple home to their daughter who was had a babysitter and i was just like yo
what up that's the kind of life you gotta live when you could be attacked by a walrus at any
moment yeah yeah they got wild shit up their kodiak bears it's rugged they got them yeah
kodiak bears aurora borealis the sky's on fire man
you're not gonna you're not gonna store an oxycontin in the sky's on fire you're gonna
i'm not gonna score an oxycontin but i hope to see a moose yeah yeah i'd love to see a moose
you would love to see a moose i fucking love moose so if i could get that done i'll be all
right jay how deep into moose culture have you gotten? Oh, big time. I know a lot about it. I think it's meese.
When you're talking the plural, it's meese.
That's probably right.
That's true. I'm sorry.
Were you on Xvideos? They got a lot of facts.
If you get past this X, they got facts on Xvideos.
I've never seen a moose. You know, a moose,
like, they're giant.
They're like the size of...
I've never seen one.
Go ahead and... When we're done,
YouTube, like moose running through the snow, it is mind-blowing how fast they can be
yeah it's alarming even like big they're fast like waist-high snow on a human a moose can just
truck through like they're going through grass it's it's crazy can you eat can you eat them
i think you can probably according to one episode of like alive or whatever i saw what's the what's
that show on that alone that's the one where they just drop people way out in the wilderness
this dude that show is either killed or happened upon a dead moose i think he might have killed it
and then he ate a moose okay can you if something has like meat can't you eat it can't you cook and
eat it anything with meat yeah but i'm saying do pete do people eat it like you know like you get duck at a restaurant you can get elk
at a restaurant you never hear anyone being like yeah i crush moose you know
i don't know i think you can crush moose i think you can it might be a regional thing like you know
because you can crush alligator i feel like if you could eat elk i don't see why you can't eat moose yeah like if you eat deer it seems like that's a slippery slope
next thing you know you're slamming house cat i mean come on
to quote you that's how yeah that's how you got the first one there it is yeah slamming wombat
slamming wombat the uh well moose they're they're too big and powerful for their own good you ever
think about this like the reason we like evolved into the dominant species is because we were
fairly like ineffective as beasts you know what i mean yeah had to figure out weapons oh yeah like
we had to adapt because we weren't gonna make it otherwise we're like maybe a little less effective maybe that would
be the dominant creature on earth and we'd be running around up in alaska showing up on youtube
moose tube videos and they just be they'd be laughing at us i mean look at these assholes
can't even run through snow look at how slow they go through the snow they're freezing
their toes are blue no these guys don't asthma yeah jay larson is here i'm here
for god's sake he's on social media too and i'll tell you exactly where to find that as soon as
this window loads the big boston softy at jay larson comedy on twitter at jay larson comedy
on instagram across platform you're you've got a comedy special coming out on youtube i sure do in just about a month we
want to talk about that a little bit yeah i would love to shot it in austin uh lance bangs oh shout
out to lance bang i directed it friend of the program love it i've been wanting to put this
out for a while and then the pandezi hit so things got you know held up and now it's coming out baby fantastic finally
i put my last special on youtube as well that i i independently produced it i did the same with
this one and i'm pretty proud of it that last special might have seen a little bit of my blood
sweat and tears on the floor of the setup the takedown i was there all day baby you sure were
baby working crap and went ahead he goes hey you he goes hey you want to lend a hand with this special
I want to say it was a 16 hour day
no
it was great
it was great but it was so funny
I was like Kreppen
why do you think I was able to self produce it
off the sweat
and wax
of friends and family
you were giving me that you were giving me
the easy jobs you're like go get some flowers for the green room i was like really and you go
yeah just go where to go find some flowers and you gave me a you gave me a card and i was like no way
i just i was that was my that was my money bro it was
it was really fun to see and it was really fun to be a part of and it's it was very good memories i
was yeah it was the first like taping i'd ever seen of anything like a production you know it was pretty sick i appreciate that you
know it's funny i was like talking to ari shafir about his special that he put out recently and i
was like getting some advice and he's like you know you're the one that did the first special
that everyone kind of looks to that you could do it on your own and i was like and i'm calling you
for why am i calling you for advice yeah yeah
i remember that because i didn't know you were that's we were explaining the day of you were
just like yeah i'm just doing this and yeah it's like oh well i got it from rory had done it too
so then so then i was like oh you can just do it on your own so then i just went and did it and
then when this one's coming around i'm like well i'm just gonna go do it again why try and go get
approval from someone to go do it you know what i mean sure yeah no it's dope man um yeah
so that'll be out on my youtube channel jay larson comedy april 19th april 19th and can people see
you in person anytime soon too anyone you want to direct they can or hear you on podcast any sort
any sort of business we do it all up top you can see me in wenatchee. I'll be up in Wenatchee. Yeah, I'll be up in Wenatchee.
Walla Walla, Wenatchee.
I think it's on the 15th. Yeah, the 15th in Wenatchee.
And then I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, May 26th and 27th.
I'll be in Boston at Laugh Boston, July 1st and 2nd.
Then I'll be at the Comedy Loft.
No, what is it in Colorado?
Fort Collins at our boys' place.
Oh, yeah. The Comedy Fort.
The Fort Loft. You know, guys,
come on. They're all structures.
Loft can be a fort.
It can. Yeah, it could be. An emotional one.
Yeah. And that's it.
That's where you can find me.
Fantastic. My name is
Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel
on TikTok, at Ian Carmel on a Jewish weather control app.
Snuck TikTok in there this time.
At Ian Carmel for a limited time only on The Late Late Show.
We're coming to an end.
Yeah, man.
About a month from now.
About a month from this drop in.
Man, it's so close.
Month out.
Been there a decade.
Yeah.
Good for you. The game's changed. you're gonna come back from italy no no no no i'd like it if you did no no no no i respect it though i respect it in many
ways oh you're getting comfy now too huh you and jay both kind of taking layers off showing that
chain even the show ends six days later i'm flying to italy you may never see me again do you have a one-way ticket perfect no we got a two-way ticket but there's nothing there's nothing
there's nothing in the italian constitution that says i gotta use it i checked yeah you don't have
to you don't have to no i'm fucking out i'm out you can find me in like sardinia drinking the
smallest glass of limoncello you've ever seen in your entire life.
That's thimble.
I've made limoncello.
Have you made limoncello?
How do you do that?
It's super easy.
You just got to get a lot of lemon peels.
I used Everclear.
I suggest using vodka because Everclear, I mean,
I had Thune over in the backyard with our ex-wives, and we got bang up off our two little glasses. You know what I mean? I like
an aperitif. With your outdoor shower?
God, you... Yeah, Everclear's insane.
You figured it out, man. I didn't have the
outdoor shower back then, but you know what
you need to get? Do you drink, Ian?
Is that why you only have a little sip?
I do drink. I don't drink
like a lot. I pick my spots
these days. I used to drink. Are you hip to Amaro?
Do you know Amaro's?
Is that the almond flavored one?
No.
Amaro's are like, they're like digestives.
And every village in Italy makes their own Amaro.
You know what I mean?
Oh.
So if I were you.
Yeah, exactly.
Wherever you are, just get an Amaro.
Like whatever is local, Amaro.
And then boom, have that at the end of your night.
And then, you know, I don't know.
Find another couple and figure it out, know yeah yeah just want to put it
let people know that i'm open to seeing vibes you know what i mean i'm not yeah i'm not putting the
satellite away you're gonna open how opens the uh the button the shirt gonna be pretty open when
i'm in italy yeah yeah it's gonna depend when i'm at the vatican three buttons open anywhere else
full open you know yeah i like that i think you'd be way open at the vatican just see if you could
score some some ass you know absolutely see if you still got it they haven't seen a jewish salient
in that uh in that building for a while they don't walk around they don't care what your
background is okay well i care what your background is yeah they care what your backside
is yeah i'm gonna be in there dude just sort of tickling people with the finger of a deceased
pope that they that i found in a basement it's gonna be great how are you uh what what oh i'm
gonna be in denver colorado at the comedy works downtown june 22nd j June 23rd, June 24th. Come see me
doing stand-up comedy.
I've never done that club. I hear
it's the greatest club in the world.
I've never done it either. This is my first time.
Dave, it's a rad spot.
I've never done it. Ben, I featured there. It's fun.
Yeah. There's a good
condo, right?
Great condo.
Yeah.
It's a big, dope loft. Yeah, it's sick. If I come back, it's only going to be for that condo, right? Great condo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's right downtown. It's a big, dope loft.
Yeah, it's sick.
If I come back, it's only going to be for that condo life.
I'm going to get a leather couch and a big fish tank.
Yeah, you're never going to see the kids again.
First of all, you can't move into a club's condo.
I don't know.
I'm going to.
Yeah, you can.
I'm going to.
Rotating headlines like, hey, Ian Carmel is in the condo.
Is that?
Yeah, that's? Cooking up breakfast.
I got up early.
I'm a jogging
three cups of coffee into the day already.
I made eggs.
I like that.
Now we are gathered here today
not to talk about my life as a bachelor
in downtown Denver, Colorado
starting in June, but also
to fantasy draft best friends
for movies uh now this was this was on our list is that right sean yes sent uh yeah sent jay the
list and each and the text in the reply what do you say you're like my strengths are the 90s yeah
because you guys know so much i like i didn't you know my pop culture and music references
are obscure at best and that's why i was like let me give you some of my strengths you know
what was your weakness sports you remember i could go all day on sport yeah i just told you
my weaknesses oh yeah pop culture and music right no god damn it i can't buy i'm just trying to you
you sent it just specifically said your
weakness and it was my weakness yeah it just says weakness music just like yeah i don't think that
i don't think your music is weak at all you saw fucking bobby brown that's i mean i don't give
yourself more credit okay yeah thank you but this is the one that stuck out to you right best friends
from movies like fictional movie best friends yeah well i well, I used to, I mean, I used, well, it kind of stemmed off something.
I used to always fantasize, and I did it for a bit for a while,
of like sitcom houses I would have wanted to live in.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
I would do that on stage.
Like Kirk Cameron in Growing Pains living above the garage.
Like, what are we talking about in our life?
That was, I'm like, his own entrance?
Yeah.
Yeah, like that.
He had a good life. He had a good life, life dude making out on the front porch come on oh it was good for that guy
push your sleeves up get to second base i believe in god that hard too if that's the life he gave
you know yeah so then it kind of stemmed from that you know we we talked about that and then
you came back with this one i was like oh i can make that work yeah best best friends for movie well we're all dear dear dear dear moose dear friends so it's an area of expertise now the
way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played
between the three of you and we throw on shoot here we go
rock paper scissors shoot
oh me
an unnatural victory
it's an unnatural
it's against God she
wait so wait a minute Dave and I both would have
crushed your scissors
and that's that's why
it's odd man out
why don't we just do odds and evens?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
It's a complex and Byzantine series of rules.
Let Jay run it.
Let Jay run it.
Go ahead, Jay.
Hey, let me.
No.
No, we got a thing.
Yeah, I'm cool.
I'm hip to it.
I'm just catching up.
That's all.
Guys, I'm just playing catch up.
You know what?
That's the end of the episode.
Thanks.
Guys, wait a minute.
I can change.
I can change.
Thanks, everybody. Thanks for listening. Thanks to our sponsors I can change. I can change. Thanks, everybody.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks to our sponsors.
Marissa, I guess thanks to you, too.
Ian left.
Ian went dark.
He's in Italy.
He comes back.
He's on a boat in Lake Como.
Switch.
He just is a big digestif.
Are you not going to Lake Como?
Just go there.
That's all I want.
We're not going to Lake Como.
Oh, Jesus.
Why even go to Italy?
We're going for three weeks.
I've never been before, and you can't do everything, right?
True.
Yeah.
We're doing Venice, Florence, Tuscany, Rome, and the Amalfi Coast.
Nice.
Yeah.
Putting on 30 pounds.
Can't wait.
Good picks.
Good picks.
You'll take it off.
That's what it's for.
It's accordion way, baby.
Open and close.
Now, Sean sean is the winner
of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before
you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question
i was shopping at home depot for blinds today and i want to find them on my own when i go to
home depot i want to i don't like asking if i got a little time i want to find shit on my own
so it's kind of like that, Serpentine.
I just went all the way down the first aisle I could get my hands on.
The blinds weren't in that aisle.
So I turned to the left.
I went all the way back down the next aisle, which is like faucets and stuff.
So I knew the blinds weren't that close, but I was still going to go down every aisle
until I naturally found the blinds.
So I just went back and forth down every single aisle, inching along as it were.
So if that doesn't do it for you, I don't
know what does, David.
This is the most dad shit I've ever heard.
Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the
first round, you pick first in the second round. Now,
Sean, with that in mind, what will the order of today's
draft be? Me.
Ooh. J.
David. Ian. Hot corner.
Alright.
Sean Jordan, J. L Jordan, Jay Larson,
David Bohr,
Ian Carmel.
That is the order of the draft.
And we will get to that first pick right after this very short break.
This episode of all fantasy.
Everything is brought to you by schedule 35.
Now microdosing is an absolute game changer.
I have never heard a bad word about it.
And like we said,
this episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done.
Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's
going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which man, wouldn't that be
nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's,
I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get
it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by
science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days
and you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this.
But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science
and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it
accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your
business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in
a nice little box and it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start
small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people
do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly
advise you give it a shot. And if you do get 15 off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co
that's 15 off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy are we doing like in the uh are we
taking this person out of the movie and we want to be friends with them? Or are we saying if we were in this movie world,
we would want this,
this would be the best friend in this movie.
Like, can we do this on the podcast
so I can get my retaliation
about if you're going to fucking run a podcast,
know the way it goes,
like back to the rock papers is a thing.
Let's consider Sean asking that question,
us getting back into the podcast from the break.
And we're back.
All right.
Excellent.
I have a pick
but it's if i'm in the world of the movie like this pound sean was liaising in the you know
different different members of this podcast liaise with different guests just based on who asked who
you know what i mean and sean jordan right my friend your friend the world's friend was the
one liaising with with jay in this
particular situation i didn't take it as we're removing this thing this person from the movie
and in in the real world this person is our friend that's not how i took it is that how you guys took
it it's not how i took it at all that's not how i took it i took it just taking like quality of
best friends yeah quality of best friends i looked at whatever i went when i was
presented with this topic and said show up and be prepared i was like well who are some characters
in movies that i love the friendship that's there but at the same time i could in a jovial fun way
describe why they would be a best friend outside of the movie as well i look at i tend to look at
things multi-layered yeah i like that thanks that's the eye of the director right there that's somebody who's seeing multiple angles getting
coverage all that stuff yeah yeah the eye of a director so i uh you do have the eye of the tiger
though black belt preach bro second and the first pick so yeah that's true get to it do you guys
strategize your picks thinking that someone else might pick them or because i have picks that i
i got one.
It depends on the draft.
It depends on the draft.
I got a pick I know no one is even going to come close to,
so I'm saving that for fifth round because that's my sleeper.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Or you can be like Sean Jordan here and take bean burrito, no onions,
like first in the Taco Bell menu draft.
I didn't quite get how it was going just yet.
And, yeah, that was my first pick in the Taco Bell draft.
So this though, movie best friends.
The quality of this best friend is, I think, second to none.
And I'm going to pick Wilson from Castaway.
Wow.
In the first.
So Laura goes, Ian might get that.
And I'm like, he might get it i wanted it so bad that i'm picking it well before there's a very clear
pick that i want and if one of you picks it out of spite i understand that but i wanted this to
be on my list you and we don't even know what the pick is they know well he the sean has made
spite picks on this podcast before just so no i didn't i made
this is classic donald trump behavior you know what i mean every accusation is an admission
listen just because i voted for the guy it doesn't mean that i act like the guy i'm just
out here doing what i gotta do i've i picked the smell of weed because i do like the smell of weed
what are you talking about i like little boozy in theory anyway as far as best friends
go in a movie wilson from castaway he got he saved his life rarely do you get that quality
of a best friend he gave him purpose he gave him something to live for uh it was like one of the
most emotional scenes in the whole movie when wilson when he thought he got away and then when
wilson did go away i've never seen that happen where there was like an inanimate object that you honestly felt like bummed out that they were dying you know it's a volleyball so can i go
can i go a step further on this that i don't even think the best wilson scene is in the movie
castaway i think it's in the movie bridesmaids do you remember in bridesmaids when kristen wigg
is watching that scene when wilson when she's crying on the couch?
It's unbelievable.
Yeah.
I mean, tell me it doesn't get you a little bit.
I mean, it's crazy what they can do with a volleyball.
I don't know.
I just think.
I think it's crazy.
You get on Teenage Tick Tock.
They're doing some wild shit with volleyball.
It's crazy what they can do with a volleyball.
I also love when he kicked it out. Remember, he got so frustrated
in the cave, he kicked it out, and then he's just like,
Wilson!
Ian's got a good
Hanks on him when he screams.
I have an okay, amateur Tom Hanks.
I'm not a professional. Let's hear it again.
I don't get paid to do Tom Hanks impressions.
Can we put you in a situation, or do you already have something
stocked? I can only kind of do the quotes,
but then let's put me into a situation.
Okay.
There's no crying in baseball.
Okay.
Whoa.
It's like Aries Spears is in here.
That's great.
Now get out of my green room.
I'll put you in a situation.
You're at a sporting goods store and you want a very specific kind of volleyball.
Excuse me, sir.
What kind of volleyball would you like?
Void.
Very underrated brand.
Is it Voight?
It's Voight.
I don't know. I guess I would have said
Russell?
Did they make volleyball?
That's more of a mint company though, right?
They make baseball too, I think. Can I give you my best
Tom Hanks impression from a movie?
Alright, here it is.
And he's so small jenny at the grave for a scum come on no one ever talks about that one oh what do you mean nobody ever talks about that it's like you know the so to kind of piggyback on
that the best part to me is when he goes is he and then she goes he's top of his class for us
and just his face you know
it oh my god he sits down next to him and they watched uh sesame street together yeah can i can
i do uh of course can i do a tom hanks impression real quick yeah sorry i had a fight your black
panther party i just like saying the line there's some room for stuff yeah i just like the line
that's the most polite way of saying that's a horrible impression i just like the line i just wanted to say it anyway
wilson to me most quality fictional best friend you're gonna get in a movie i like it i like it
yeah it's quiet you're excited about it too he's quiet wilson yeah yeah i was excited about it just
i just wanted it i had i just i don't know
i thought of it i was really happy about it so i had to had to do it first he's a good listener
that wilson the best is when he's trying to figure out where he needs more rope and he looks over at
wilson he's like i know where there's more rope i know i know i think i don't know i did it i know
exactly where it's at i'm not gonna go up there i don't even think we could get up there if we
wanted to oh so good it's not gonna come in for months we can't do that like arguing with himself yeah
great great pick jay your first i should my first pick all right so i don't i again i don't know if
anyone would pick this and it's because of the who he is in the movie and i think if you've ever
seen this movie which i hope all of you have mine would would be River Phoenix in Stand By Me.
No.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
No fucking way.
Are you serious?
Yeah, baby.
Was that yours?
That was my first pick.
First round talent.
Chris Chambers is amazing.
Listen, if you want to, it's up to you.
I'll do a swap.
No, no, no.
I'll trade.
I can't trade picks.
Okay.
No one's ever done that.
You know what?
You can.
Oh, do I just fucking break the mold you
can yeah i'm sticking with it uh just the coolest the coolest goddamn best friend ever in a movie
the best guy and you don't want to be that guy you don't want to be him you want him to be the
best friend you want and you want him to like you you're just you're glad he's friends with you
and he likes everybody though he was like low-key, sweet to all four of them.
He was cool.
He brought the gun.
He stepped up.
Oh, man, he's badass.
Yeah, damn.
That's probably the first one that popped in my head.
I love that.
I love that about you.
Oregon native River Phoenix.
I have to make...
I made a promise to myself earlier this year
that I would stop
lying when I haven't seen a movie that would just be easier to lie.
I have never seen Stand By Me.
I mean, I don't know how it happened.
You got to queue it up.
Do you know who wrote it?
It's Stephen King, right?
Stephen King, dude.
Yeah.
It's not, it's, it's crazy when you like, when you watch it when you're older.
Cause when I was a kid, I didn't think, but like they're, they're they're those older kids they're crazy they're way bucker than any older kids i knew
i think yeah they're gang members yeah they're gang members they are yeah well me too i'm just
saying you know game recognized game i'm just i didn't we weren't like that we were more at
stealing chromies and shit that's kind of the gang we were in um yeah he was badass i love that movie and what's his face
is in that jerry um jerry o'connell jerry o'connell is vern and then when vern he's like i brought the
comb i i love that scene when he's like well i brought the comb for everybody great movie ian
i mean i'm gonna watch it i'm gonna watch it tonight the old lady's out of town oh it's
definitely like when you it's not one where
you have to be younger as soon as you start watching it you're really going to enjoy it i
think yeah you don't have to be young to watch and you'll see also that it's been copped like
so many things have been taken from that movie like it's just been sampled so much i know you
want to see a dead body is from that right yeah which is one of the most iconic like quoted lines
of a movie of all time you know you've seen like the leeches on the in the underwear like that's in there and keeper sutherland dude he's so
fucking it he's such a bad dude bad guy he it's unfortunate that he's got such a dickhead
like lip you know but he just he looks bully he's got bully face keeper sutherland is one of the
all-time bully face mouth dude is his like lip just comes down like a hook. He just looks like such a bully.
I don't know.
He's fantastic.
He looks like the bully.
Young Kiefer looks like the bully from Toy Story and whatnot.
You know what I mean?
He's just got archetypal bully face.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
River Phoenix.
Stand by me.
That's my first round pick.
David Borey.
David Borey, your first pick.
Your first pick was off the board now.
He's flustered.
He doesn't know what to do.
I know.
I got to move.
He's working the phone. He's calling the Oakland A's. He doesn't know what to do now he's working the phone he's calling the oakland days he doesn't know what's going on he's calling them you want
to come to cincinnati i gotta move uh this guy loves his friends so much he calls them his family
i'm thinking dominic terretto oh yeah they're fast and furious i was damn i caught that still
shot of like in the very first one,
just when I was poking around on the internet,
making my list,
that where they're on probably the PCH,
him and Paul Walker.
Paul Walker's hair is just blown completely over his face.
And Vince is like,
smoke him.
To that prick in the car with the girl.
And they're flying on the PCH going like 90,
just switching lanes.
It should be so sick to see.
That's the friend.
Listen, obviously, everyone involved in his circle
has made the decision to be in that life.
But as the sort of de facto leader of that friend group,
he has gotten his friends
into increasingly dangerous situations.
Yeah, but he also got him in space.
Criminal mischief, I say.
Criminal mischief.
I mean, he's like, you know.
He's never the one who draws him in, though.
That's true.
He just gets him out.
He's the one who gets him out.
He doesn't ever.
I'm just saying, if we'd been in a car chase
through the favela in Brazil
and driven a car between two towers in Singapore and like and just fought a submarine in Antarctica.
And like the one common factor in all those was Sean Jordan.
I'm not saying we'd stop being friends with Sean Jordan.
I think that you're underestimating the bond of two towers in Singapore.
Yeah.
Like they're so tight because of these intense traumatic
situations they're trauma bonded together that's true yeah and he cooks and he cooks and he just
every movie it's for his friends it's tough i don't cook so i i'll start i'll start cooking i
don't know what that has to do with anything he must lead the league in sequels too i mean wow what are they on 13 is that what it is 10 fast 10s coming out 10 damn
he's got so he's got 10 fast and the furious movies he wasn't in one of them so he's got
nine fat right yeah tokyo drift he's got nine fast and the furious he's got two triple x's
he's got two pitch blacks, I want to say.
No, Ice Cube was the second one, right?
Yeah, Ice Cube was triple X too.
Does Vin Diesel have two pitch blacks?
Do you know that?
Is that nerd stuff?
He has Chronicles of Riddick.
Do you know the most important Vin Diesel movie ever made, though?
Boiler Room.
No.
Yes, it is.
No, bro.
It's not.
Have you ever seen the short film that he made that got him saving Private Ryan?
No.
Vin Diesel made a short film, and it's because he was like ethnically obscure.
Like he could play a black Puerto Rican.
Yeah, so he made this short film where it's like him and he plays a black guy auditioning then you
turn around and he's hispanic and then you turn around and uh spielberg saw it loved it and cast
him in saving private ryan wow it's crazy watching saving private ryan i so i put on bummer movies a
lot but just because i like the movie and i don't doesn't really bum me out like i'll put on mystic
river and shit uh but and i always want to watch saving private ryan but i'm like i don't
want to be the person who throws it on for a good time you know like 11 o'clock on a tuesday the
wife and kid are in bed i'm like i'm just gonna fuck with saving private ryan a little bit before
bed it's not that kind of joint a little bit i'm just gonna watch the first 10 minutes where a thousand people get shot it kicks
off once they're off the beach that beach scene is real real hard to watch first of all it kicks
off is that what he said i mean like as a good time movie as a good time movie it kicks off
after the landing at normandy giovanni rubisi dies and calls for his mother then vin diesel gets shot
and hands the the letter to uh he's like give this to me dying in the middle of the street
it's but it's so good though everyone is so amazing dude that's a great movie yeah and also
boiler room by the way i mean that's crazy it's one of the best movies ever made i'm out it's the
one where he plays the jewish guy with the two jewish stars on each of his shoulders that's crazy it's one of the best movies ever made i'm out it's the one where he plays the jewish guy with the two jewish stars on each of his shoulders that's knock around guys right
where he's been in like 500 street fights or something like that you know what you learn in
your first 500 fights and then i forget what it is that he learns because i've been in zero fights
but he learned something after 500 is it 500 that's when you really get the message after
yeah if it took if it took him 500 to learn something you learn you have a fucking learning disability brain injury that's a lot of times to learn yeah
500 fights that's a lot of knock around fights a lot of knock around fights i feel like a lot
of that it's like a fight with your brother over a sandwich one time two punches here's what he says 500 fights that's the number
i figured when i was a kid 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy
you need them from experience to develop leather skin so i got started of course along the way you
stop thinking about being tough and all that it stops being the point you get past the silliness
of it but then after you realize that's what you
are i'm surprised this movie didn't get a sequel yeah i'm glad to be a silly billy prequel dude
knock around guy yeah which one is it the first fight or a french remake knock around gee i'm
into all these you remember ben's uh real name any of you no in real life yeah we drafted
it one time mark yeah mark normand no what is it mark mark sinclair you were getting you were
going mark sinclair yeah mark sinclair okay yeah uh i'll go ahead dom what it's what i'm just gonna
say it's different you know if he was like my name's mark sinclair it's like different than dominic terretto you know you'd be like ah i don't need
to race for pink is different than vin diesel yeah
one's a name one's a name one's a car part it's different
categories i don't have the i don't have the thing inside me to create a name for myself
no no it's like and then go by it to stand on it yeah i feel silly the first because there was a
first person he told his name was vin diesel just gently correcting he had to be like no it's
actually vin diesel it's not mark sinclair no i'm not mark
anymore you got your friends who have to hear you introducing yourself as vin diesel to other people
and they just kind of sit there and deal with it i think you pick that name when you move like you
move to like when ian moves to italy he ain't gonna be eating carmel over there
mark spaghetti sininclair Yeah dude
Lasagna Spaghetti
Fucking
Time for my pick I think
Time for my first
Fucking pick
I got back to back picks
As it is a serpentine draft
And with my first pick
I gotta take
A man
Who will build you up
He'll go into any
He'll go into any situation with you
And along the way He'll be building you up,
helping you become the best you can be.
I got to take Double Down Trent from Swingers.
Oh, man.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Fuckers.
What's up, bitch?
Yes.
Tight.
He's just a fucking great...
He is the best.
What's she doing over there?
What's she doing?
Oh, you want to play a little game?
You want to play a little game? What are you doing with that when we do that lady at the end just cute little cute little baby unbelievable
i don't know you i don't know where you live just fan just an instant just a one-man party you know
what i mean they're having fun no matter where they go they're down on their luck they don't
have a lot of money but it doesn't matter to them they're already fucking movie stars in their own
mind yeah daddy's gonna pull a fredo that's oh my when he's in the when he's in the trailer and he's like and
i'm in the audition and goes i i'm crying i'm crying she's crying everyone's crying oh building
you up just putting fucking gas in your tank man just like the kind of guy hyping you up also you
know he's gonna be down to play fucking video games with you that's important he's on there
nhl 93 getting blood what's
up hip-hop house of pain you wanted house of pain yeah make ronick make ronick's head bleed do the
head bleed thing he's good in any situation if it's if it's popping off that's fine he'll go
he'll go he'll hit the los feliz par three with you right down the street from where i am right
now and at late night at a diner driving to vegas i mean come on who's a better friend than double
down trend yeah and what i'm supposed to be excited because she's got a fucking backpack on
can can i go you find something nice to wear so he you couldn't say because i you get it from
favreau's point of view where you're like man this this guy is just insufferable but he's not
he's just doing his best to pull his friend out of the gutter and yeah friend who
desperately needed it by the way he was desperately needing like sticks of salami drinking half
gallons of orange juice in the dark on the floor it's like yeah man you gotta get out it was like
early breakup feelings where you're just like oh yeah capable of feeling a depth of you know what
i mean just like that oh you're like fucking your stomach feels like it's just a dense little
marble it just there's no it you know i don't know how to put when i sometimes when i was younger i
used to see people like going through breakups or whatever and i'd be like it looks fun to be that
brooding or emotional or like open or whatever because i've heard you say this before yeah it
looks i used to think it would look it kind of looked romantic to just have been broken up with and then you really get it whoever does it they just fuck you up and you're
like oh this is this is the worst feeling i could possibly imagine yeah it's bad nothing there's
nothing i mean death maybe but like that you know somebody dying but death is release
death is i dude i love a good funeral but i get down uh can we just acknowledge though
you watch this and us all having friends that are comedians now you look at the genius of john
favreau who was just like hey dude can you just come and be you just come be oh my god i'll just
create an environment for you and then you can the only other time you see it is like you look
at owen wilson in bottle rocket in the original wes anderson movie and you're like his comedy grew for it that was the comedy is him yes you know what i mean and the vince vaughn and
this character that was the comedy fabbro was like i got this idea and you just have to come be you
because that's where all the beauty was was the script is like insert vince vaughn being vince
vaughn yeah like here like i'm sure a lot of that
was just like off the top of the dome you can't write stand up on top of this table now and
fucking you know what i mean like your money you don't i i don't think someone's writing like okay
your money baby and you don't even know it but it's vince being like what do i say what do i like
how would i tell this to someone in my real world you know vince probably said the tomb out at a bar
on sunset yeah exactly yeah yeah like this script
is money baby this yeah totally yeah he's fantastic he's a true movie star just like a
fire hose of charisma and like through what one was swingers like 1993 90 94 somewhere there yeah
96 96 but even all the same like at this point nearing like 30 years of just kind of being
vince vaughn in movies and tv shows like in kirby enthusiasm where he's just basically playing vince
vaughn he's playing like a punk hauser cousin or something like that but it's just him doing
the same old trick that's been working like fucking a charm this entire time he's amazing
yeah yeah i'm basically drafting vince Vaughn as a best friend.
I would draft him all day.
You see him in the breakup?
Oh, it's great.
He crushes every funny scene.
He goes, but you were too busy up there in your ivory tower.
He's insane, dude.
He's so good.
Double down Trent.
Double down Trent.
Love that.
Time for my second pick. Now'm taking now this is back to
back for you back to back back to back corner that was that home depot thing i was explaining
earlier pretty much exactly i do fancy football bro i know this name yeah come on two years ago
whatever we know this is this is a character who has been played in a tv show as well as in i believe three different
movies now so i think it counts i think i can take it i'm taking samantha from sex in the city
sure yeah why wouldn't you i can't i can't wax on it at all i haven't seen a stitch of that show
but yeah of course just just another fantastic fucking friend. Someone who is encouraging you to live your most fun, your sluttiest, in their case, life.
But just somebody who is grabbing life for all it's worth and squeezing it out.
And I need that kind of energy in my life.
Plus, Kim Cattrall as that character is just fantastic.
But it's the kind of person you want in your corner
yeah and I encourage
all of you to watch Sex and the City
I know man
it's on the ever
growing list I just yeah
how many times have you watched Entourage all the way through Sean
if I'm not trying to
exaggerate all the way through probably like
15
you think you know more
about entourage than me than you yeah i do i bet i go head to head with you easy easy i you know we
had jerry frar on this show about a month ago perfect i would like you know his birthday on
the show what's his birthday on the show wow here we go i mean if we're just gonna ask i can tell
you the episode where you find out what his mean, if we're just going to ask things, I can tell you the episode
where you find out what his birthday is.
If we're just going to ask things,
I can tell you what. I think you ain't got it.
I don't got it. I know he doesn't have it.
It's so obscure. I'm prepping to go
on the Victory podcast, but wait, I'm
serious. Are you going to go on Victory?
I want to. I don't think anyone knows that show better than I do.
This is
amazing. If somebody could write us some that show better than I do. This is amazing.
If somebody could write us some Entourage trivia, I would do it.
You can't just ask.
You can't just cherry pick things that you know.
I mean, he kind of just did. But throw me a stat that you think that there's no way I would know,
and we'll see how deep I go.
I'm trying to think of one.
Give me, like, five minutes.
I'm just trying to think of something.
I can't think of something that would be.
I feel like he's on this.
Yeah, you know, he's not used to being up against someone with this much you know the heat that i
bring they're all just coming to me like but they're gonna be so simple what was okay who's
the here i'll ask a question how much was uh okay how much did saigon paid turtle to get out of the contract uh well saigon didn't pay him it
was his the guy his previous manager right before he hung johnny drama off the ledge which was
hilarious i didn't ask you all that i didn't ask you all that i think he said what we're supposed
to get and he said i think he gets broken off 35 at the end it's either between 30 and 40 the first number and the guy goes it better be that number and he goes just give him 35 so i think he gets broken off 35 at the end. It's either between 30 and 40, the first number.
And the guy goes, it better be that number.
And he goes, just give him 35.
So I think he ends up getting, maybe, is it 40, 50?
It's right in there.
I think it was 20.
But drama tried to...
It's definitely more than that.
It's definitely more.
I don't even know.
Drama tried to lie about it.
So drama said like 60.
And then he gave it to him.
He's like, yeah, 60.
And then, I don't know but i was
just trying to think of a trick question that was the only trick question i could think of because
he got the different the wrong amount yeah anyway damn what is the name of the uh britney spears
stand-in singer from season one i got it i know right now hold on because they later go over to
jessica alba's house for her going away party is jessica
chapin is it jessica chapin justine chapin she's got every every young actor in hollywood's trying
to get in there she's got a snake tattoo going down her vagina going down on her box is what he
said well every young actor is trying to be the first one to get in line man what does she say
to vince when vince says he doesn't want to be your first i
would have given you the best blow job of your life yeah yeah that's right i could go all day
on on entourage what baseball journey what baseball jersey do johnny and turtle buy as an
investment oh sandy kofax there we go because they and then they say his dog was sick and then it or
no they say that he was term like he had uh like he had a terminal disease turns say his dog was sick. And then it's, or no, they say that he was, like he had a terminal disease.
Turns out his dog was sick.
Well, who told him that?
So he wasn't dying.
Who told him that?
His dog.
Cousin Ronnie, bro.
Cousin Ronnie.
I go deep.
Was it Turtles or Johnny's cousin?
Turtles' cousin Ronnie.
Turtles' cousin Ronnie.
Anybody want to go out to Chatsworth and see my cousin Ronnie?
Fucking come on, bro.
When they're all staying at Drama's condo, which I know
the exact condo it was.
I can't.
Hold on.
I got a call.
Hello?
That's my mouse.
Samantha from Sex and the City.
I love it.
That's a great picture.
Just a down-ass bitch.
That's all it is.
Just like a fucking...
If you think the night's over,
Samantha's got another location
it's going to be even more fun than the one you were at she's going to get you into trouble i'm
into that kind of friend absolutely yeah i like that david time for your second but i also like
that there's someone who can take sean on fucking entourage i can't just take him on i will humiliate
him i will crush him so write some trivia i think you look he just got took i did not and i will not accept that
he said jessica chapin so i'm the one that got that right just first of all give me two seconds
i would have had it you don't have two seconds in the real world play boy i got it you did what do
you mean you wanted five minutes to come up with a question yeah with a question
feeling real liam neeson's daughter right now liam neeson's
because he got taken okay what's the name of the uh what's the name of the masseuse in vegas that
john drama ken all right what does he bring him nuts i forget what kind of almonds california
almonds you can't get him up there he goes wow johnny how'd you remember he goes i got a brain
like an elephant didn't ask that question You asked that question that you just answered.
So fun trivia.
If that's how it gets to go.
What do you think he had it up his sleeve?
He's like, I know I'm going on AFV.
I'm going short sleeve.
I bet this is a fucking nut question.
Who made the shoes for Turtle?
Fukijama.
You didn't answer it, Jay.
Where were you?
You should have answered that.
How much did he pay for the Fukijamas?
How much were they?
15 grand.
You should have answered that.
A little higher.
I love that. You love it, man higher i love that you love it man i love that oh dude nampate our uh our friend nick ian was at work one time this is when i felt like
problem the most scummy for not having a job in la because ian had to go to work
and uh his childhood best friend was staying at the house and so him and i just watched
entourage all day long we covered probably five seasons while ian was working hard to pay the bills at the house
that we were just all right if there's one thing i could one lifestyle i could have been financing
it would have been that it was just dark from a to b god it was one of the one of the most fun days i've had ever uh entourage classic
fucking show david borey time for your second pick second pick oh he's a true blue he's a
writer he's gonna get you out of a jam he's with you doesn't talk too much i'm taking chewbacca
yeah oh yeah absolutely yeah absolutely yeah jesus i didn't even have him on the list day oh he was
yeah he was so solid chewy was true blue man yeah and just like you never have to be scared
you never have to be worried no when you were chewy no and he was sensitive he could give you
you know like he he felt had feelings and emotions. I got the feeling he was funny.
I don't know why, but I feel like he was kind of funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was getting jokes off.
Yeah.
Which is important to me.
Yeah.
You know what is the way he gives off jokes is the same way that I don't know the guy's
name, the actor in Ocean's Eleven, the small little the little guy who doesn't speak any
english i think he's chinese yeah yeah yeah the way he says stuff and the way everyone responds
to him it's the same way chewy does with han which kills me it's so fun when no one gets
your only basis is what no i mean just like what han like, whoa, you don't have to talk like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Like those little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a little Chewbacca up my sleeve.
That's all right.
There you go. I can't believe I took fucking Samantha from Sex on the City second.
I'm ashamed of myself.
I think it's great.
That's a fifth.
That's a fifth round pick.
Yeah.
No, no one was going for that.
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Chewbacca just got taken and I'm sitting here.
I mean, listen, I love Samantha, but. Well, dude dude it's all over the place today jay thinks he knows more about
entourage than i do so it's clearly down right is left clearly does who knows what's going on
today this is a wild day hey what did you think when we finally got introduced to like the uh
wookiee vince i loved it no the wookiee world like the member of the rest of them yeah yeah
oh that that was amazing yeah it's amazing because then you're like oh there's just a
you know there's a gang of them but you don't really know because it's just chewy
yeah so to see the rest of them you're like oh yeah well the one he's not even like the biggest
wookiee you don't know in uh in boba bookett or whatever there's that big fucking gnarly wookie he has a
scary like a like an actual like shotgun or something like a like a laser but with like
shotgun shells you know yeah it's a bow it's called a bowcaster it's a classic bowcaster
yeah it was like a crossbow right yeah yeah that's right he's so dank i love that weapon
you should see our star wars setup in legos it It's off the chain. I just got my first
adult Lego. The Seinfeld set.
Spent all day building it. I get it.
I get it.
I fully understand it.
You know who's huge into Legos in the adult world is
Dwight Howard. Really?
Is that so?
All by that. You ever seen the Brickumentary?
He has a lot of children to play with.
Does he?
Are we into the same Dwight Howard?
The basketball player?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
He's got a lot of kids?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He likes candy, too.
I know that.
He likes candy and Legos.
Interesting.
Nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, who doesn't?
I mean, that's not like a...
Stark crazy.
Can you imagine, though, if you had
unlimited money like Dwight Howard
hopefully still does?
You could just buy every Lego you wanted.
You could have a whole pool house
just for the Legos, so it's not cluttering
up your whole main area. You can just go in there.
I'd probably build an amazing model train
set if I had Dwight Howard money.
Dad's out in the Lego house just
getting after it.
In your fantasy world world you went and you realized you could have a house of legos and then you're
like nope i want a train set yeah it's great i'm in there wearing a little conductor hat
don't bother me don't bother me dude that's what it says one christmas my ex-father-in-law he's
still my father-in-law but he had his old train set from a kid redone and spent a lot of money on it
and set it up in the living room.
And I remember my mother-in-law was like, we're not setting up the train set.
He's like, I'm setting up for Christmas.
You know, he's the sweetest guy, gets it all dialed in,
wants to show his grandkids.
They come over, it goes around the track one time,
and his grandson goes over, does something, breaks it.
He sat next to this train
for 45 minutes afterwards
like he lost Wilson.
Just like he lost Wilson on Christmas morning.
He died in a train wreck.
All those people.
It looks like Santa Claus Station isn't getting its mail
delivered.
Jay, time for your second pick.
Man, see, i just feel very confident
about all these picks i this one i know could be a fifth round or two but it's a great second pick
just because this dude is rad but i think i'm gonna pass on him just because i know
how great he's gonna be and uh i guess i'm just gonna have to go ben affleck and goodwill hunting
yeah yeah yeah you know it's hometown it's where i grew up and just think about it he would do I'm just going to have to go Ben Affleck and Goodwill hunting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hometown.
It's where I grew up. And just think about it.
He would do anything for Maddie D.
How about the fact that he would show up with coffee for him every day?
He seemed to have a little more money than everybody.
No,
he would show up,
had your coffee and even told him,
listen,
you could abandon me and go away and go live a life better than this one.
And I'm cool with it. Yeah. I mean, just unbelievable just unbelievable i want you to even though i would miss you so much get the
fuck out of here that's real love yeah you can have the front seat every time doesn't matter
who's around you get the front seat yeah his day has to start so much earlier than matt damon's day
no wonder matt damon's this genius he's laying in bed for an extra 45 minutes giving his brain a time to rest. You just cracked
the code right there.
He's waking up, going to Dunkin' early.
You know what I mean? He's up at like 545.
Smashing rocks and then he can just get him
a job whenever he wants. I mean, come on. You know
he pulled strings. He couldn't just get that job.
No, that's a struggle.
That's a great scene when Casey Affleck
goes, I asked you for that job. And he goes, and I told
you it wasn't available. Now it is. I just love it when he leans back he's like oh i'm not fighting
because you better get your ass out of that car it's such a thinking about that situation where
you're like i can go fight these kids or i can my brother can kick my ass worse than they would
later so i might as well give me shit yeah they're pretty easy choice yeah yeah
yeah that's solid i'm what's that affleck has played i'm not gonna say other picks but he has
played a a number of solid friends in movies oh for days yeah good friend face he's got he's got
a good friend energy did you guys see the tender bar no i No. I did see The Tender Bar. No, I haven't seen The Tender Bar. He's great. On Amazon. Yeah, he is great.
It's a better book, but whatever.
Sorry, I read, guys.
Yeah, I gathered that.
I read a book on ICP.
The Novelization of Entourage.
I read.
Season two.
Yeah, I read this.
I put the subtitles on sometimes just so I know how to spell things.
Yeah.
I'm getting them tattooed on my back.
I want to make sure it's spelled right.
Get it on there. So I know how to spell things. I'm getting them tattooed on my back. I want to make sure it's spelled right.
Get it on there.
What actor did the New York Times say Vince was the next one of in the head on review?
Oh, in the head on review.
Well, let's see.
That way he got chewed apart in that review.
Remember, he said he goes, he makes walking and talking tough.
No, that wasn't head on. Yes, it was head on.
No, it wasn't head on.
The first review when they came home, he comes home
and he goes, Vince, I got you the
stain out of your Dolce's. And he goes, you got the
reviews? He goes, yeah. He goes, how is it? He goes, it's
a bloodbath. He goes, the dude called you a thespian.
Well,
that doesn't mean it's a bloodbath.
I know that's the joke! That's what the joke is, Sean!
That's what the joke is. that's what the joke is it's not robert redford trivia when reading a review in the new york times is it
right head on the paper calls vincent the next no because then he gets brando no it's not brando
redford he's the next it's not johnny depp they they it is johnny depp is it johnny depp because when he johnny depp when else do they bring up johnny depp john see now that counts that counts as a
as an l for your boy when i have to i have to admit when it counts and that counts because
that was a question that jay got right and i did not you know when else they bring up oh let's go
give me a give us in a second yeah. Seriously. Do some of this.
All right.
Some of these are too easy.
When was the second time Johnny Depp comes up?
Do you remember?
Not offhand.
When they're looking at houses.
They're looking at houses.
Whose house did they buy in season two?
They bought Marlon Brando's house in season two. That's where Brandoo was coming from didn't they get brando's desk later too no they got later they got they wanted to get brando's
desk that was no that was um the one that gary bucey bought that they had to buy back yeah that
was uh i think it was it wasn't deniro's maybe i think it was deniro's actually deniro's desk can't remember but it was uh johnny e for johnny depp lived in that brando house when he was making
ed wood oh yeah oh yeah in the show here's a here's a meta entourage trivia question all right
yes where was johnny drama's character tarvold born in viking quest oh my god
this is a trivia question about a trivia question from entourage yeah i can't i can't go i i can see
the scene when the kids ask him at at uh comic-con too and he doesn't know because they were going
over it at the wrong answer yeah they were going over it at the pool with turtle wrong answer
turtle gave him the wrong answer to be a prick i can't i don't know not happening north umbria north that's right way better than south
umbria that's a callback from a north dakota south dakota joke earlier in the podcast guys
damn sean jordan it's time for your second and third picks uh second pick my favorite my favorite
friend in a movie that's ever existed
it's very easy it would have been my first pick if i didn't want wilson but doc holiday
all day oh my absolute absolute joy if you're with the shit like you know so why it herbs with
the shit he's not he's not soft by any means because you can't you can't have doc around if
you're not trying to get into it sometimes.
But Wyatt's just fine handling himself.
So having Doc around would be the funniest.
I just watched Tombstone again the other day flying back from, or whatever,
I was just flying somewhere.
Wait a minute.
You were flying and you chose Tombstone
when you could just put on TBS
any Saturday of the month and watch it?
I rented Tombstone at the airport
and downloaded it on my phone
to make sure I could watch it on the plane. Damn the airport and downloaded on my phone to make sure
i could watch it on the plane i've damn i got in a mood man i haven't watched it cover to cover in
a minute and it's so there's so many parts of that movie that are perfect but val kilmer why
johnny ringo it's you look like someone just walked over your grave it's perfect he's perfect
in that movie he doesn't do anything wrong can i tell you my favorite part in
that whole movie i would love it please when ike is drunk and they're at the car table right you
remember when ike is drunk well which he stands up and he's acting a fool the night that he's he's
like you know you're gonna get to the whatever he says he knocks the table and there's a bottle
of whiskey listen to me there's a bottle of whiskey and Listen to me. There's a bottle of whiskey, and it falls off the side, and the actor that's playing another cowboy at the table
grabs it, like catches it,
and Kurt Russell watches it happen.
Like he's seeing the bottle happen.
He looks over like that and watches him catch it,
and then goes back.
It's not intentional.
Like in the scene, this bottle was going to fall.
This guy stays focused on what's happening, catches it.
But Kurt Russell also sees it and looks over and notices the guy catch it.
And they just go back.
Watch.
If you ever have a chance, watch it.
It's the dopest moment.
Yeah.
I love it.
Kurt Russell had to take over directing the movie because the director was doing such
a bad job.
So Kurt Russell just kind of stepped in and assumed the role as director, whatever.
That's what they say.
They say he shadow directed it yeah
he was just like what point you're doing it terribly and so he would just make sure things
got done the way they needed to real quick this reminds me of another story jay so we were in
portland one time it was when i first met you guys you and ryan and um something we're in the green
room somewhere it was maybe a bridge town anyway i go yeah, yeah, I'm a whiskey guy. So I went and you go, oh, let's go get us some whiskeys. So I came back
with like Jim Beam or something and little plastic shot glasses. And you were like, what?
So then we went to this place called the White Eagle. Is that what it was called, Ian?
The White Eagle. The White Owl. The White Owl Social Club.
So go to the White Owl and you're like, you're a whiskey guy. All right, I'll get you a whiskey.
And you got me like a $40. Nice. I forget what forget what it was like 40 bucks you hand it to me and i just knocked it back and you go
what are you what are you doing and i go i go sipping whiskey i go it was dank and you go it
was dank because i just knocked it back like it was gonna be i don't know evan williams or
something it was by the way i probably just started uh i was hosting that show where we're going around so yeah we knew i knew all that crap so
anyway yeah doc doc is just great when you know what what whatever do you mean well if i didn't
think we were friends i don't know if i could bear it it's just he just has a way to like if
that's your friend damn that's tight if it's
not your friend you got to be ready to like do whatever's going to happen but he talks like a
southern gothic novel it's amazing yeah he was uh george he was a like a dentist who's a dentist
holiday yeah and then you know i love when he goes you know frederick fucking chopin
frederick fucking chopin oh he's so it's i mean if if it wasn't before this
officially makes tombstone your most drafted easily i think probably this thing it's come up
he's taking it in every in every possible i'm not a criticism by the way anytime i can chew
hornet in i will i i love doc holiday in that movie so
much doc holiday and white earth obviously they carry the movie but they're just so absolutely
like drop dead fantastic okay so third pick uh this is just because it was like what an interesting
world you would have to be in in this movie and having this person to like latch on to you
immediately and kind of shepherd you through this world who's also just a dummy in the same world.
I'm going to go John C. Reilly to Marky Mark in Boogie Nights.
Oh, nice.
Because they're just so good at being friends.
And Marky Mark is so naive when he comes in.
What's Dirk?
He's so naive when he comes in.
And I don't know.
I can't remember.
Reed is John C. Reilly's name.
Reed.
He just kind of hooks him up
that scene where he goes uh what do you bench and then he just starts making a margarita he
asks him a question and then just turns the blender on for like 10 seconds like what an
asshole where you work out no i would have seen you there what do you bench it's so it's great
because they're setting that up to be like a rivalry right like you're because
he's like the old he's like the old stud and then like uh marky mark is the is like the new dude on
the scene but they just they just kind of fucking fall right in with each other it's really nice
and then they do the whole like chest rockwell brock landers thing yeah where they they're like
they start with decent intentions where they're like i don't want to see people hitting women jack it's not sexy it's not for me then then they go off the rails with
cocaine and they do everything they didn't want to do but it's just a fun really fun friendship
to watch in a movie and john c reilly genuinely does seem like he's the only one who doesn't
kind of lose it because he's he's like he always wants to dirk to do well but even towards the end
where they're gonna go rob people he's like i don't know about all like i don't know if we need to
be doing this specifically but yeah i also think to watch he he befriended him the way that you
would befriend people when you were like six and seven you when you're six and seven oh you're just
like oh you're so cool i like that you like You have no inhibition. You're not afraid to tell someone they're cool and you like them.
And he just did that.
And it was so refreshing.
He plays the same character in Step Brothers.
Not to spoil a pic if anybody was going to take that, but it's like the same dude.
Yeah, it's the same.
It's basically the same dude.
Forget that John C. Reilly is such a good actor, too, though.
You look at, like, what?
Is it Gangs of New York? I mean, he's just many things magnolia where he's not joking at all you know he's been
in shit forever he was in days of thunder yeah god he was so good his thunder rips anyway i see
john c reilly uh in my neighborhood all the time i don't think he he doesn't live here but like he
has some business in atwater village yeah oh boy i'm gonna see you oh boy
imagine if ian is the one who just outs john c riley for like he's having an affair
and his wife listens to this podcast she's like a big afv fan yeah john what are you doing in
atwater village i thought you were done with that water if somebody has a middle initial and you get
married to them do you also have to take if you choose to take their last name, you should have to take that middle initial too.
So it'd be like Melissa C. Riley, Mr. and Mrs. C. Riley or P. Henson if she's very powerful.
Sean P. Henson.
This is a Taraji P. Henson?
Yeah.
She took my middle name.
What do you expect?
So if Jim Henson married Taraji P. Henson, he would become Jim P. Henson?
Jim P. Henson.
Yeah. Also maybe the world would become Jim P. Henson. Jim P. Henson. Yeah.
Also, maybe the world would end because that's a crazy combination.
Jim Henson and Taraji P. Henson.
Where did they meet?
I think he would be James P. Henson.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's fair.
Yeah.
It's online.
It's on the forums, dude.
Yeah.
The kids are out there.
In the comments on X videos.
There's this big pickleball debate that they were talking about.
Pickleball debate. Anyway, John C. Reilly. It's like a book they would have to make you read in fourth grade jay time for your third pick all right my third pick uh i'm this is gonna be i'm just gonna throw
this out there because one it's my favorite movie of all time and i love this character more than
anything i'm interesting walter solchek yeah dude oh man that's a great big yeah walter solchek from the big
lebowski uh john goodman that movie for me in particular just like it solidifies how genius
the colin brothers are because everyone all these characters are so different and walter solchek
my favorite thing is the dude basically tells him this is what I think she may have done. And Walter Solchek doesn't just listen.
He's like, I hear you.
It's 100% true.
And I'm never changing my mind.
Well, you said so yourself.
She kidnapped herself.
He's just completely sold on it.
And he's just sitting there like,
that fucking bitch.
That fucking bitch.
Dude, it's unbelievable.
I think it's the greatest role that goodman ever played
ever he's oh yeah i'll take that movie it's like batter king ralph really yeah so it's
he's like just the quotes alone i mean the just the way all you notice when you quote that movie
it's like it's almost all walter that you that everybody quotes yeah he's got the most powerful
what you thought i was rolling out of here naked because that's right dude he goes my dirty undies the whites the whites
yeah he's he's the greatest even up until the end where he where they go to the big
lebowski's house and he's just like nah dude i've seen a lot of spinals in my day this guy this guy's a faker this guy's got a lot of spinal dude oh it's so fucking funny
and a good day to you sir yeah which by the way uh just because it was he was in both movies is uh
philip seymour hoffman i loved in boogie nights he's like always trying to like get with marky
mark walberg and then in big lebowski he's just so awesome as Brent, you know, the assistant.
Yeah.
When she's like,
I'll blow you for $5 or whatever.
He's like,
if you guys are all very fond of her.
Yeah.
If anybody out there ever runs into Chris Sharp and tear,
ask him to do the Philip Seymour Hoffman laugh after bunny offers to blow
him.
He it's perfect.
He can do it perfectly.
So if you ever go to a Chrisris charpentier show and he'll
and he'll enjoy doing it for you but yes i don't know yeah i love when uh the dude is walking
through like the lobby and he goes on this is all his his children and he goes yes those are the
little lebowski's and he goes oh so different moms huh he goes he goes he goes he was pretty like
yeah and he goes oh i see you never went to college
yes he goes don't touch that don't touch that don't touch that anyway walter soul check
not only that his ex-wife's got a dog and she's going out of town and he watches it it's a show
dog with papers he's a loyal he's a loyal guy that that says a lot too because he's like whatever
yeah i'll watch your dog i'm'm loyal. An observant Jew.
He doesn't roll on Shabbos.
Does not do.
Shomer fucking Shabbos.
I thought I told that kraut down the league office.
Just a man with like this.
Just a man of grievances.
Yeah.
He's a loyal man of grievances.
When somebody sneaks in kraut, too, it's just one of the funnier ones.
Oh, it's great.
That is a man with like, there are no blurred lines in his life.
There are very clear lines and he abides by them.
That's a good friend.
The dude abides.
Also, the other, if you want to get to the Jewish part of it, when he goes, what's his
face?
Goes, they were Nazis, dude.
And he goes, come on, Donnie.
They're threatening castration.
You want to cut hairs here?
Like, hey, listen.
They're Nazis, okay? Yeah, great character to be a great best friend.
Great best friend. David, it's time for your third pick. But before that, we're going to take
one more short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius.
Policy Genius, I'm going to hit
you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life
insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done
everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially,
it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life.
With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance
policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day
approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with
me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it,
which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that
works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst?
And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more
careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea
what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in,
they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers,
and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're
going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate.
They work for you. They're not
getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies.
They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. And they're answering the
questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all
for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about,
but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with
the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want
anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on probably. I don't need
all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled.
And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team.
Like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team.
They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate.
Yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there.
Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com
or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you
could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. Welcome back to All Fantasy, everything already in
progress. We're about to get to David Borey's third pick. David.
I think, oh yeah, I think this third-round talent. This guy's great.
Another true blue guy.
Took the main character literally into his family.
I'm taking Ron Weasley.
Oh, yeah, that's a good friend.
Absolutely.
That's a solid friend.
Took in an orphan.
Come on. He's a solid friend, too, because he doesn't want to be running around doing all this crazy magic shit.
He doesn't even like it.
But that's where his friends are going. Oh great you gotta get your back but he comes up clutch
too he comes up clutch when they need him though yeah solid guy solid solid guy i'm not extremely
i've seen the harry potters of course i haven't read the books uh he is also can do magic right
yeah they all yeah they're all wizards bro but he stays in his own lane that's the best thing
about him he's not trying to be...
You know what I always liked about him?
He's comfortable in who he is.
Exactly.
He's not trying to take Harry's shine.
He's not trying to be like that.
That's not his wave.
That's his friend, you know?
Yep.
My cat has a marker. I'll be right back.
He knows he's not as smart as Hermione.
Yeah. But don't they end up together? Is he yelling has a marker. I'll be right back. He knows he's not as smart as Hermione. Yeah.
But don't they end up together?
Is he yelling at a cat?
I think so.
I think he just said my cat has a marker.
I could have heard him wrong.
It's not like a dog.
I feel like a dog would get into a marker.
A cat would just kind of like paw it and just be like, oh, it's a marker.
Oh, it's a marker.
It's a marker.
Yeah, man. I don't know that's a marker that's just a marker yeah man that was
that was on the list
but I can't
Ron Weasley was on your list?
I can't wax enough
about it
but it's
it like
yeah cause I mean
well we got to see the whole
it's one thing about a lot of these
is you don't really get to see
the whole
years and years
of a friendship
through with Harry and Ron
you get to see
a decade of friendship
you know you get to see them
grow up together yeah that's a great thing it's not just in that volleyball you just got to see him sit there like marks you
know i'm talking about yeah also yeah it's also about a person guys i don't want to get too far
ahead of it because i'm not sure but would we say that the wilson number one pick would be like the
sam bowie of this draft so far yes okay. Just got back in time to say that.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I just want to make sure.
Did you say Eddie had a marker?
Yeah, she grabbed a marker and was running around with it.
And I'm like,
is she supposed to have that?
But the way she was looking,
I was like,
probably not.
No.
Yeah.
She knew.
What if you let her go and she went to the whiteboard and put up like the greatest idea
for a movie of all time and you just,
you just stopped it.
I just fucking blew it.
Oh my God. That's the equation from Goodwill hunting yeah yeah yeah i'm not getting her coffee
she's a one-year-old cat she can't take it no i get it i get it uh yeah but yeah rod weasley's
my pick yeah ron weasley happy christmas harry he says happy christmas to harry and doesn't
harry go to his house for
the holidays and stuff and save his family he brings them into his family that's best for
he's like i know well and he doesn't and he doesn't like hold it over here he's never like
hey why are you doing in my he's just like yeah you're with us now they're broke too the weasleys
are like broke they're you know what i mean that's like a humble down to earth but they're good they got each other you know earth salts of the earth not like those fucking malfoys
dude fucking malfoys i don't know but you know the malfoys got a dope summer spot you know what
i mean yeah house on the lake with a slide that goes out of like the bedroom window or something
right they actually would be good friends to have because you don't have to have them as parents you can just go like
use them alfoy summer house every now and then yeah yeah but i feel like his adults they're like
they give me swingers vibes that's fine any adult blonde i know he has white hair he's
some blonde or no is he blonde any like it feels very an adult man with long blonde
hair is into an open relationship yep there's no two ways about that yeah yeah yeah long and blonde
is a tough combo at that age blonde it's a wild move it's a wild move to be old with that axe
throwing what's that now an axe throwing oh yeah swinging an axe all right yeah yeah just thought maybe
you'd want to go throw axes on friday with me it's time for my third and fourth picks
i'm taking the two for here let me know yeah okay let me know i'm taking timon and pumbaa
from the lion king yeah yeah i i was thinking that would count as one.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah.
Yeah, all day.
Which Lion King, though?
I'm taking the animated Lion King.
I know, but which one?
Ian's going to take the Beyonce one.
I'm taking the Beyonce one.
I'm taking Billy Eichner.
No, you've got to go.
I'm taking the first one.
Yeah.
The original, although they are prominently featured in The Lion King 2, right?
Yes, they kill it in that one.
Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen, right?
No.
No.
So Ian's talking about The Lion King, like actually The Lion King 2.
I'm taking the animated.
I'm talking Nathan Lane.
Gotcha.
And whoever that other dude is.
Who was the other person?
Who was?
It was Nathan?
You know what would be nice?
If you want to take Nathan Lane and Seth Rogen,
I'll let that ride.
Ooh.
I mean, that's the combo you want.
Can you do that?
I don't know.
I mean, I like the original.
There's nothing wrong with the original Pumbaa.
No, there isn't.
But I mean, Seth Rogen was great at it.
Who was it, Ian?
Billy Eichner.
No shame.
Billy Eichner killed it.
It's Ernie Sabella.
Oh, Big Erne!
Tip of my tongue.
That's where that answer is hiding out.
The Sabelle jar.
Of course, Ernie Sabella.
Big Ernie.
You're kidding, right?
I have no clue.
Did he just walk into that role?
How can none of us know him?
I bet he's done
tons of voice acting, right?
He's got some pipes on him.
Marissa?
Let's see.
He's in City Heat. Tough guys.
He's played a ballistics expert
in City Heat.
Nothing really I recognized before The Lion King.
That was his big break. That was in Quiz Show. That's a car salesman. under... Yeah, nothing really I recognized before The Lion King. Not a whole lot of other shit.
That was in Quiz Show.
Quiz Show. That's a car salesman.
Interesting.
So wait,
did you take those two characters
on the turn?
Wait, is that four and five?
I'm sticking with Timon and Pumbaa as one pick,
if that's okay.
If I gotta take one of them, I'm taking Timon. I had it on my list as one pick, and it was the only one thatumbaa as one pick, if that's okay. If I gotta take one of them, I'm taking Timon.
I had it on my list as one pick, and it was the only one that made it as one pick, because
I thought it was one pick.
I was gonna try to do that.
If it's not, I'm taking Timon.
Yeah.
Pumbaa's good.
Timon's the brains.
Timon's the brains.
He's got his back and everything.
Yeah. He's the sizzle. He's getting brains. He's got his back and everything.
He's getting into scrapes even though he's little.
He's cracking lies.
He's a little ankle biter.
He'll get you.
He's not afraid to fight.
He'll still mix it up.
He's a good mentor.
He's a good friend of Pumbaa who's the same age.
He's also a good mentor to Simba.
Positive attitude. He's showing him the path. Teachingba. Positive attitude. Sort of like showing him the path,
teaching him the Hakuna Matata lifestyle,
eating bugs.
Never before have bugs looked so delicious.
Those were good looking juicy bugs.
Wasn't they good looking bugs, dude?
Juicy, juicy bugs.
I don't know how I felt about the bugs.
Come on, you want to eat those bugs.
Juicy, juicy bugs.
I'm not saying like, you know,
compared to like, you know,
like a duck a la ranch or a beef wellington, but like just as far as not saying like you know compared to like you know like a duck a
la ranch or a beef wellington but like just as far as yeah i got it bugs go you know every year at
christmas we do uh gingerbread houses and we go to this candy shop in westwood and they sell
crickets like salt and vinegar crickets and i get them every year and i make my kids i go you got
to eat one cricket before you can get into these gingerbread houses and now they look forward to
its family tradition they're like all right give me the cricket i hear they're not bad that's they just taste salt and vinegar they're
just like done up you just pop it in boom it tastes like a you know cracker or something right
it's just gonna taste like salt and vinegar i got a i got a little tossed one time back in my 20s
and i beer bonged a uh a house centipede you know what a house centipede is oh no you know those so
picture the grossest they're like they're look, they have like a thousand legs, but their body is almost see-through
and they have huge antenna.
They're like silverfish, but they're called a house centipede.
We caught one one time and we put it in a beer bottle and I did it.
And it is good.
Do you guys not get these in LA?
They're so common in my basement in Toronto.
I have to kill them every single week they are the i will scream i would rather have a thousand
boa constrictors in my house than i would then you shout
careful what you wish for bro you got a baby dude dude is that your bit i gotta i'm taking that bit
that is fine jay google Google a house centipede.
It's just the grossest thing I could possibly think of.
Or deep dive it.
I'll just look it up once, bro.
I think I'm good on deep diving it.
Go to the aforementioned X videos and look up house centipede and see what time it is.
Oh, no.
I'm done.
I'm done.
That's enough.
They're gnarly.
That's just one of those dares
from when you were like
in your, what,
late teens, early 20s
where you're like,
no one's asking you to do this.
Oh, yeah, I did.
What if I did this?
No one wants you to.
I'm doing it.
That was most of them.
That was almost...
That was all of them.
Nobody was asking any of us
to do that.
No, we got...
Yeah, we...
Yeah.
Anyway, that was a gnarly one. Whatever. all of them nobody was asking any of us to do that no we we got we yeah we yeah anyway that
was another one uh whatever kind of trail off weird yeah what happened at the end of that
sentence there i was done with the story i didn't have too much else then i'm gonna get into getting
the stairs that i don't want to that's what it felt like was about to happen. I'll get into some behind closed airs and then we can...
Oh, come on.
There it is. Look at this guy.
Paint a picture with a pen like Norma Mayler
right there. What a guy.
Yeah.
Time for my fourth pick. Let me go ahead and get this out of the way.
Godzilla.
What?
Wow.
You gotta expand.
Godzilla, dude. a friend to who if king to king kong were they friends i thought it was actually aerial
we mean eventually it starts adversarial they fight each other and then time and again a bigger
baddie shows up and then godzilla and king k Kong got a team up and they put their differences aside to fight a more common foe or a bigger, a common foe, a bigger problem.
Godzilla.
But then that foe dies and they still have their differences.
That's all right.
What do you think their differences other than what their physical attributes are? Like, what's attributes are like what's their big they both seem to want a piece of tokyo real bad
it's a land grab man yeah
i've never seen godzilla or king kong so i have no uh i saw the newest one where they had to fight like a super godzilla that
breathed that like ice fire or whatever is that the one with naomi watts no no this is the one
with um shit i don't know colin i don't know who was in it naomi watts wasn't in it idiot
no i worked with her i've just worked with her before. You know, that's all. Oh, Naomi?
Naomi.
Naomi, sure, sure, sure.
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
I'll call her Dr. Watts.
Let me call you back.
All right, bye.
That was Naomi.
That was Naomi.
Naomi Watts was in the 2005 King Kong.
I know.
You know the city of Watts in South Central is named after her?
Mm-hmm.
That's true. Nice. Her name her name she was there one time i just think it's it's important to to learn that sometimes
friends fight but that doesn't mean when the important stuff comes along they can't put their
differences aside i do like that a lot sometimes that happens aren't they and just just pushing
back here don't they aren't they enemies more often
than their friends wouldn't the nature of their relationship be enemies i think maybe sometimes
the media like likes to take what they fight media i think maybe they focus on like the the the
tumult and they sort of broadcast that sells newspapers you know but i know liberals want
you to be scared walking
down the street that's exactly what i'm saying didn't they set the same table at the oscars for
like a bunch like five six years right when they're at the oscars they're at the same table
you know what i mean you can see them at muso and frank's you know having a great time shrimp
cocktail martinis i've been to muso and frank's right after i did tv what's up that's right what's
up that's right i'm a great spot for that that's how you
feel showbiz that place is dripping showbiz i've never felt more juiced than i than when i was
sitting there like i did the last thing i wanted to do was actually eat a meal i was just like
i want to go run you know i felt like a child yeah you want to shoot a jim beam shot i sure did plenty uh yeah i'm taking i'm taking godzilla oh yeah
there were no party that was worried about any of your picks getting picked huh
yeah i mean maybe timon and pumbaa yeah yeah i was gonna pick trent absolutely i was gonna pick
trent you were but uh god, he's there when you need.
Also, Godzilla helps people sometimes.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes?
Sometimes.
I don't want that best friend.
I want the every time guy.
No, who among us?
We were hypocrites here?
I don't relate to Godzilla as much as you do.
I don't know what that means.
I try to help people every time.
I'm a little older than you, okay?
I got a couple of years on you.
That's what it is.
Let's see if in a couple of years you don't find yourself watching Godzilla.
If that isn't me on that screen right now.
We'll see.
I welcome it.
It comes for us all.
I welcome it. Davidid time for your fourth
but godzilla's off the board i guess godzilla's gone uh have you ever seen the wood have i ever
seen the wood i haven't now i want to i'm taking slim from the wood just because not only is he
involved in all the shenanigans
he only is involved in ways where he's helping his friend none of the shit's ever he never did
anything bad but he's always there cleaning up their messes great guy very funny great use of
a jerry curl he was dripping that was pretty cool uh pretty funny guy yeah Yeah, Slim from The Wood. That movie is... You've never seen The Wood, Jay?
No.
Inglewood, that is.
California.
Oh, yeah.
There's a lot of great teen coming of age stuff going on in there.
Just down the street from Naomi Watts.
I remember one time I was in one of the rooms at the Fortress of Solid Dudes,
and that Ahmed song came on
and from the kitchen,
I think I was like,
you watching The Wood?
And Ian goes,
yeah, The Wood's on.
And then we watched The Wood, man.
That movie's so good.
Yeah, it's great.
Tight friends, tight crew.
So get Sex and the City or The Wood.
It's a tough choice here.
No, you know what I mean?
By the time we're done with this,
it's going to be like 4 15 4 30 you
have a double feature yeah i do i sure do yeah i'm gonna give my kids away have them come over
they can watch they can watch the wood it'll help it's actually it's actually nothing crazy
happening no it's not bad that's what i'm saying they can't watch sex in the city but they can
watch the wood so start with the wood the woods probably barely rated r start with the wood see what the
vibe is and then maybe you roll in the six in the city we'll see yeah you don't know yeah
then let the night take you from there hand over the wheel yeah let the night take you
let the night take you jay time for your fourth pick all right my fourth pick i'm gonna take uh
the irish guy in braveheart you You know who I'm talking about?
I told you, it's my island.
That guy who will just do whatever.
I have never seen it since we're doing it and we're vocal.
You've never seen Braveheart?
Never seen it all the way through.
That's like a U-ass movie.
That's the U-est ass movie.
First of all, it's the worst that you said all the way through.
When did you stop when he when he was in control when did you stop watching this is the guy who
likes just a taste of saving private ryan before bed just a taste of it all right just give me uh
it was on one the one time i remember we were gonna watch it it was like at a makeout party
and it sounds crazy i know but but it was just a long movie
to put on. Nobody intended on watching it.
I ended up going in a different room.
You guys must not have known what happens
in that movie. Not huge makeout
vibes.
It was just a long movie.
Sean's getting a third base.
She's like,
hold up, hold up. What's going on here?
No, freedom's when you get to fifth base dude
they freed his penis from those dickies that's what they did yeah so basically you know brave
heart is like trying to free the his people from the king of england and this irish dude
is like i will rock with you and i'm gonna bring in ireland was gonna team up with england and this
guy was like don't worry about it.
I got it.
This one dude.
And then all of a sudden they go into battle and all these Irish,
they go to collide on the battlefield.
And these guys, the Irishman just come up and they don't battle.
They just all say hello.
And they're like, what's up?
What's up?
And he's just like, see, this is my fucking crew, baby.
It's the dopest gangster move.
And then the king of England is's like you can never trust the
irish or whatever it's fucking dope dude yeah we are not to be trusted he's got a scar on his face
crazy you haven't seen it since how closely you identify with uh with mel gibson's politics
well that's i mean i read every piece of media the man puts out, and that has nothing to do with it. Media is what it's called.
Yeah, yeah.
I like to keep myself educated.
You have to.
You should watch it tonight, dude.
Yeah, it's a great movie.
I'll be at a monster truck rally tonight.
Also, keeping my politics aside at the moment.
Yeah.
We all, when we're like, we're going to get tickets, and we're going to leave our politics
at the door.
No one's going to look over and be like, this fucking guy. We're just going to be like, we're there to leave our politics at the door. No one's going to look over and be like this fucking guy.
We're just going to be like, we're there.
Bring earplugs, dude.
Watch it on your phone at the Monster Club.
For sure.
I'm telling you.
Oh, yeah.
It's brutal.
You're going to think like, come on, dude.
We're in an arena and it's not.
I'm thinking that right now.
It will blow your...
I'll bring earplugs.
It's the loudest sound you'll ever hear.
I have earplugs.
I'll bring them.
We'll see what the vibe is, but I'll bring them. I'll ever have earplugs i'll bring them uh we'll see what
the vibe is but i'll bring them i'll meet you in the middle okay dude we'll see what the vibe is
there might be some chicks there i gotta look cool yeah what are you worried about
now that we're all calmed down a little bit like just in life the way that ian's eyes
go when i say something stupid like that it looks like you feel so sorry
for me where you're just like oh no like a puppy trapped in the in the manhole or something like
what what's going on i just think it's very funny to go down to the monster truck rally and see what
the vibe is dude you know what the vibe is the vibe is monster truck rally it's fucking 58 ounce
bud lights you don't think i don't want to hear the crowd go wild when Gravedigger does a backflip in
front of me?
Earplugs going on the floor.
Playboys don't block out everything, bro.
It's not for the crowd.
I'll put nachos in my ear.
They're monster trucks.
You're not going to be able to hear the crowd over the trucks.
Yeah.
We know you got courtside seats, dude.
Come on. We got down there. Kyle said we could probably get hit with a tire yeah
i know i never want to lose you but if that was how i'd you know i'd have to you got to take it
i didn't take it i have to look at god and tell her yeah
i see what you're doing I see you working There you go
It's a pretty big feminist podcast
If somebody could just wake up Joe and lower the gas prices
That would be the move
They're actually pretty low right now
Well then go on to the APR
If he's already wasted lower the APR
There you go
What do I gotta do
I gotta sketch it out for him
I'm kidding Jay I don't think like that
No he's a hard
he's hard right uh sean jordan time for your fourth and then your final so i don't know who
the best friend is i think they're equal in this uh duo but come on a boom bus situation well there's
but they don't have a simba so these two just exist together like a wet willing a flame boy type thing but it's eddie murphy and martin lawrence in life if you've ever seen life
oh yeah that's like that is like a who do you pick so if i it's it's tough better friend in
that movie though well but eddie murphy is the one that robs martin lawrence that gets him so
he can't pay for dinner and so that's why he even ends up in the shit is because eddie murphy is the one that robs martin lawrence that gets him so he can't pay for dinner and so that's why he even ends up in the shit is because eddie murphy took his money so well they
were no no no no no no no that's not right no no you're you're right they both end up is there
another kind of cop i didn't know there was another kind of cop yeah facts i thought that
was like a free record no you're right because somebody else takes all a clot all of martin
lawrence's money and then eddie murphy and martin lawrence end up in the same situation with spanky and that's when
they meet and spanky's gonna kill martin lawrence on a prostitute eddie murphy loses his money in a
card game well no but in the before they even get to that uh martin lawrence gets robbed at
the restaurant because he owes money to this bookie or whatever so they rob him in the bathroom
and then him and eddie murphy end up happenstance with like the big boss guy and they're about to kill him and then eddie murphy says i know how to
get my hands on some hooch i need to take a guy with me and then he said they pull martin lawrence
out of this out of the hole they're drowning so anyway but yeah they just they have to spend life
in prison together and they're just like they get each other through it and it's if you've never
seen life it's one of the funniest movies you're ever going to see.
It's kind of a bite of Cool Hand Luke, basically.
Just like completely.
But it's funny.
Way funnier.
Because Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence are in it.
It's funnier than Cool Hand Luke.
Interesting.
That was on the post.
You make it sound like Cool Hand Luke is this diehard comedy.
Imagine Cool Hand Luke with Bernie Mac. God, yeah. Bernie Mac is in it. Elevator pitch. That's how they sold it. this die hard comedy imagine cool hand luke with bernie mack god yeah bernie elevator pitch that's
how they sold it yeah it might have been how they sold it imagine funny cool hand luke anyway i mean
it is all the way to like we like a failure to respect authority whatever like it's they steal
lines from cool hand luke but anyway it's yeah not to sidebar again but um have you guys ever done one of these where you draft greatest stand-up sets of all time no because you should
and speaking of which not to take a pick have you ever seen that bernie mac set oh yeah of course
man yeah yeah oh my god stupid to just watch that good that set started two weeks earlier when he bought those
pants yeah that's what i'm gonna say wearing that fucking outfit man and just being so good
just the lore of it where they're like i mean if you don't i'm sure you do but if you don't know
it's like bernie mack went up when everybody was eating shit at deaf comedy jam and the lord like
everybody was so scared and he's just back there already wearing pants that have his face air
brushed on him like he went in thinking everybody was gonna do well not just And he's just back there already wearing pants that have his face airbrushed on him. Like he went in thinking everybody was going to do well.
It's not just once.
He's got angles, right?
I think.
They were all backstage with him.
Like, yo, this dude's got his face on his pants.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't even think they were bombing.
They were like, not just bombing, but like they were not.
Booed off.
Yeah.
Booed off.
There's a difference.
You can see it.
You can see the crowd turn to his first the first thing
out of his mouth it's just so it's so good i don't even think you understand oh yeah anyway
eddie murphy martin lawrence and final pick right it's my fifth pick i think anyone calls him marty
lawrence i probably never did it he used to call himself marty mar though he used to call himself marty mars so maybe marty lawrence that's what martin is still on by the way oh yeah yeah i have it on dvd
i love that it's hilarious uh wait sorry sean jordan's final pick uh brad pitt in once upon a
time in hollywood oh sure yeah i love him i mean he's not he's
he's pretty sketchy but he like came out the other end and he's another ride or die like
down on his luck but he would do anything anything for leo in that movie i loved him in that yeah
cliffs cliffs a ride or die that movie is one of my plane movies for days it's good it was an
instant classic it's so good i saw that movie
in a like a tiny little theater in connecticut where like it had been there for like 150 years
and there was two things and not knowing what the movie's gonna be about and it was just like
yeah fitting that we were in there how about when he didn't he he fucks up bruce lee in that no
yeah yeah that's amazing and a manson and one of the manson murderers he fucks up Bruce Lee and one of the Manson murderers. He fucks him up. That's amazing.
Yeah, that's a good time.
He fucking like
parkours his way up onto a roof.
Just so shredded. Yeah.
Oh, he's shredded. Just so
fun. So cool in that movie.
I can. Also,
he lives this
life alone in a trailer with his dog
and it doesn't look sad to me anyway.
You know what I mean?
Behind a drive-in movie theater.
There's a weight bench out front, too, sitting in the rain.
Yeah, we can't put it in the trailer, man.
I'll tell you what.
If it all falls apart here with Dana, you know what I mean?
You get a trailer.
I could be happy in that life.
When he goes, I'm coming in, and this ain't stopping me.
It's not stopping me.
It taps on the screen door.
Yeah, Cliff Booth.
Cliff Booth.
I love it.
Jay, time for your final pick.
All right, this is my last pick.
It's going to be obscure.
If anyone here has seen the movie, I'll be stoked.
The movie's win-win.
No one's seen it.
No, I haven't seen it.
I meant to.
The actor is Bobby Cannavale. Bobby Canna actor is bobby cannavale and his name is
terry delfino and it's a wrestling movie paul giamatti plays a high school wrestling coach
and i've seen that bobby cannavale is like a singer single older dude who's got money
and he's just a fucking badass he's just a cool guy and chill and the thing this was back when
i thought we were going to be drafting guys we'd want to be friends with and uh when my son was in preschool there was a
kid he went to school with harrison who had like the best hair you've ever seen in your life to
the point where like other dads are like where's he in his haircut and his name was harrison
yeah he looked like a kennedy this kid and uh that's kind of in this movie they get this kid
who transfers to the high school to
be on the wrestling team and he's like a problem kid you know what i mean he's got like he's living
with the coach and stuff like that and kind of all he's like god he's so damn cool he just like
he's just got like this man crush on this kid and has him over his house and they play video games
and he's just a badass and i love bobby cannabali he's great he is fantastic dude him and warlock
empire oh he's so scary.
And then you see him in other stuff and you're like, this guy seems like he would give me
a massage.
He seems soft, you know?
Yeah, I watch him in anything.
But he's got range.
It's a fun movie, you guys.
Win-win.
It's a wrestling movie.
Paul Giamatti.
It's on the list.
Boom.
I knew that'd be.
I could have taken that 20th round.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
You were going to get that.
Oh, yeah.
That's deep talent. I got some of those picks. I took them in the that 20th round. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You were going to get that. Oh, yeah. That's deep talent.
I got some of those picks.
I took them in the second and fourth rounds.
Dave, time for your final pick.
My final pick I'm taking from the movie Riding in Cars with Boys.
Brittany Murphy, Faye Forrester.
She just holds Drew Barrymore down the whole movie.
Everybody's shitting on Drew Barrymore.
She has this terrible shotgun wedding, and her dad doesn't want to talk.
And then Brittany Murphy gets up, and she's like, that girl's amazing, and I'm pregnant too.
And you're like, yeah, ride with your friend.
She's a great friend throughout the 20 years of their friendship in that movie or whatever.
Haven't seen it.
What a curve.
Penny Marshall, right?
Does she Penny Marshall direct that? Yeah. I haven't seen it in a curb penny marshall right does she penny marshall yeah yeah yeah i haven't
seen it in a long time long time steve's on vehicle good steve's on vehicle i've had dinner
with him once hey yeah good guy xandre dawson what'd you guys get i mean i got the spaghetti
limon i'm not sure what he had i mean there was other people there were three of us like but uh
that's awesome i gotta see that movie too that's one i remember when that movie came out and i the
title was everything and i like penny marshall a ton and i love that like she was a actor turned
director you know i always love that about her yeah it's great great great peak britney murphy
too great solid britney murphy james woods is in it it's fun good britney murphy
always jimmy woods huh jimmy woods was also in entourage sean do you know what role he played
in entourage what character was he played him he played himself but who was he playing
oh do i know who he was modeled after no what what role was he he was in a movie with Vince. I just gave, I mean, if you don't know now.
No.
He played Aquaman's dad in Aquaman, bro.
Yeah.
Hey, drama.
Again. Drama, Jimmy Woods.
He's at the door.
They don't get his premiere tickets.
You remember?
He goes, I remember when they're.
Five seconds.
Five minutes.
Five seconds.
And Turtle, don't they hold him out the door and pull him back
no they put them through the mail slot but then at the premiere they're not tickets they're fake
tickets yeah one of the best is at the premiere james woods is like at the premiere talking
somebody he his acting is amazing he looks back he's like oh look he goes look at this johnny
drive he goes here's the real chase brother and he pulls him in he's nooging him on the red carpet
just like ah johnny drum all right it's so fucking good so good anyway yeah because that's they give those tickets to uh the two girls
they meet at uh kimmel or right now because that's who they want to get in the radio show right big
boy in the morning how am i beating you on entourage trivia yeah this is trivia this is
just talking this is talking talking somebody somebody gotta write talking to an amateur as
far as a go i'll clap you up motherfucker let's all right somebody write some somebody
write some questions somebody out there who knows about entourage write some questions
jay and i'll go live with you on instagram jay and we can it would have been where do
where do you just lose twice yeah you lost twice I'm sorry. Where do the boys meet where?
The question equivalent of that would have been,
where do the boys meet the girls who they give James Woods Aquaman premiere ticket to?
At the radio show, obviously.
Well, now you say that.
Next question.
Well, now I know the answer.
Why are they there at the radio station?
What's Vince doing on the show?
He's trying to get his mom to come to the premiere.
And when he said he wants the most beautiful woman in the world,
who do they think it is?
Justine Chapin.
Halle Berry. Do they?
You're making that up. No. Big boy's like,
most beautiful woman? Sure. Halle Berry.
Let's get her on the phone. He goes...
Grenier. Then Grenier kills it.
I'm going to win this trivia game when somebody
writes questions. I hope so, because you're down three zip it doesn't feel like we're gonna have to broadcast
this we're gonna set up a boxing ring somewhere three to one her name wasn't jessica chapin
asshole it's justine wow i got that i got that i got i got the fuki jama question you couldn't
answer quick enough so that's three that's the one you made up. Everybody knows Freaky Java, though. Maybe I do because I'm into Snickers.
Who's older, Johnny or Vince?
Johnny.
So it's 3-3 now.
Oh, my God.
What's he short for?
Eric.
Okay, now I'm the good one.
Well, now Ian's playing.
So now Ian's in it.
Dave, you want to hear it?
How many people are going to go live?
I was never going to be a part of this.
Time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft.
I'm taken.
In my opinion,
one of the fundamental
qualities of a good rom-com
is the best
friend role. I think it can
make or break a good
rom-com. And there's
so many I could have taken i'm going to mention
one right now though i'm not taking her carrie fisher and when harry met sally she's fantastic
but i gotta take some time to give some love to rob reiner in sleepless in seattle just a great
rom-com best friend let me see your ass let me see your butt when he talked gives him his love
about his butt yeah he didn't have a giant role he didn't but's in there. He's coming off the bench and putting up some points,
and he's checking out Tom Hanks' butt
and giving him an honest appraisal of it.
And that's when you need a best friend.
That's another airplane movie for me.
You can tell the two of those guys,
they're going to that seafood bar in Seattle.
I loved when they went to that seafood bar.
They're having fucking clams and oysters.
Oh, God, that's all.
We did that when we did our show in Seattle,
did a little raw bar action. It was fantastic that whole that whole scene i was like man i wanted that's what i wanted
to go to like they're just sitting there they got great seats right he's a contractor right he's the
contractor and hanks is the architect yeah that's exactly right they got a business relationship but
they're friends sign me up for that you can get dicey you know what i mean if
you're doing work together you know man but not in seattle in the 90s that was a high crane count
nothing but nothing but bill was going up yeah it's like dubai now you know that's right yeah
seattle in 1995 was like the modern day dubai everybody says that. They do say it. A lot of people say that, man.
Yeah.
That's my final pick.
Marissa, do you have a pick?
Yeah, I'm picking The Wolf and the Lion from the movie The Wolf and the Lion.
Has anyone seen this movie?
No.
Okay, so it's a fictional movie based on a real life wolf and lion pup who are friends
since they're five weeks old.
And the movie documents their life and friendship.
And what's incredible is that they shoot
with a real life wolf in line in this movie.
And okay, the movie itself is kind of meh,
but from a production standpoint,
it's incredible to see like a real life,
full size wolf and lion acting alongside humans.
There's like a scene where they're all like cuddling together.
There's like no CGI at all.
What year is this?
This is like 2021. It's like a small Canadian, like no cgi at all what year is this uh this is like 2021 it's like a
small canadian like independent movie also what's cool what i love about this movie is that um only
a few actors could approach the animals at a time so the entire film crew and most actors were behind
cages like the entire time that they shot this movie and because these animals are so unpredictable they had to adapt
to the star animals which resulted in 16 script provisions in the movie which is why the movie
is a bit messy from a narrative standpoint but it's just incredible footage of like a wolf and
lion who are like best friends acting together uh and it's just amazing to see so that's why i
wanted to pick the wolf and the lion wow it's like i would recommend just it's just amazing to see. So that's why I wanted to pick The Wolf and the Lion. Wow. I would recommend.
I've never seen anything like it.
And talk about a wrecking crew.
Those guys will fuck you up.
Yeah, seriously.
I'll tell you when I would have turned that movie down and said,
listen, don't worry.
The whole time you're off camera, you'll be behind a cage.
I'd be like, so wait.
And why is that?
Because they're real animals.
That's crazy.
Now I want to see how they even pulled that off.
It's crazy.
At first I was watching and I was like,
this can't be real.
It must be CG,
but it looks better than any Disney live action movie I've seen.
And then I looked it up and I was like,
oh my God, they're real animals.
It's crazy.
That SAG insurance would have to be getting pretty close to lasting for me.
For you to go test it like that.
Excellent pick, Marissa.
Excellent.
Got to check that out.
To recap, Sean, you went first.
You took Wilson from Castaway, Doc Holliday from Tombstone,
John C. Reilly in Boogie Nights, Eddie Murphy and Marty Lawrence in Life,
and Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
Great, great draft.
Jay, you went second.
You took River Phoenix in Stand By Me, Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting,
Walter from The Big Lebowski, The Irish Guy in Braveheart,
and Bobby Cannavale in Win Win.
Another great list.
David, you went third.
You took Dom Toretto in The Fast and the Furious,
Chewbacca from the Star Wars motion pictures,
Ron Weasley from Harry Potter, Slim from The Wood, and Brittany Murphy in Riding in Cars with Boys.
Another great list. I went last
and I took Double Down Trenton Swingers,
Samantha in Sex
in the City for some reason,
Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King,
Godzilla, great pick,
wouldn't have any problem fucking up a wolf or a lion,
and then Rob Reiner
in Sleepless in Seattle.
Let me tell you, that's the table you want to sit at
at a wedding.
They're going to be on the dance floor, dude.
They brought a bottle.
They brought a bottle from home.
A lot of people know that Godzilla's a girl, too.
So you know what I mean?
They might be going home together.
God is a woman.
Look at that.
God is a woman.
That's right.
Exactly right.
We left some good
picks on the board uh seth from super bad jonah hill's character totally uh any of the sisters
really from little women but i think especially amy march i think she'd you know goose goose but
he was the one that we used in the example of like the draft but like goose would be perfect
melissa mccarthy oh yeah she's great garth from wayne's
world smoky from friday janice ian and mean girls polly from rocky oh yeah i had apollo from rocky
just a messy dude you gotta gotta keep straight always get you in the scrapes but you get to
marry a sister that's right and it's nice to feel wanted and needed i had uh a boo and then um
oh yeah boo buzz lightyear what about the genie you I had a boo and then buzzed later.
What about the genie?
You never had a friend like him.
Yeah, the genie.
Shit, I mean, think about that.
You did do a genie throwout during the podcast.
You granted a wish.
Oh, that's right.
Sorry, maybe not.
You know what happens if you find a genie in a bottle of mouthwash?
What? Sean, you know? I do know. happens if you find a genie in a bottle of mouthwash? What?
Sean, you know?
I do know.
He grants you three swishes.
Oh my God.
Is that a Tim Hammer joke?
That's a Tim Hammer joke.
Shout out to Tim Hammer, who's a one-liner stand-up comedian from Portland who was doing
stand-up when we were all coming up, got out of the game, and is back in the game now from
what I see.
He goes, if they run out of ingredients at the pepsi factory do they just have to make do
with what they have so dank come on dude he's he had a he had a whole joke about rage against
the machine like a copy machine he would copy in the name of and then somebody somewhere like
recently made that joke like a very popular comedian i'm not saying they stole it but uh good story is that a good one to sykes that's a really good story you'll send the
podcast right there we want to hear from you hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy
podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the afv subreddit the a wait where uh the auction
draft should be up by now right it'll be on the afv patreon it's all done we can put it out whenever so yeah we'll put it out like this week by the time this comes out it'll
be out i think so uh make sure you check that out that was a lot of fun where we did an auction
draft of the taco bell menu we're going back and doing some of our favorite classic graphs and then
raising the steaks yeah dude or the chicken or the ground beef or the no onions in that in that no
fucking onions for god's sake uh shout out to super
producer marissa on the ones and twos on the lions and wolves yeah i have i have some shout
outs if that's okay yes on a recent patreon mailbag episode we answered a question about uh
how much money you would accept from a stranger and i said i have no limit i'll take any money
you got uh and i shared my venmo um i had some cash sent my way, and I just want to shout out Morgan, Jeff, Brian, Zachary, and Michael.
Thank you for your money.
What?
Whoa.
How much did they send you?
Are you talking about it?
In total, I've gotten $204.
Damn.
What?
Whoa.
That's cash, baby.
Yeah.
If you want to send me money, I'll gladly take it.
Just at Marissa-Melnick on Venmo.
And I'll take your money.
I recently Venmo'd you some money about a year late.
Yes, you did as well.
I'll take any money you got.
So anyways, thank you, friends.
Shout out to Sue Carmel.
Saint Sue Carmel.
Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel, my mom.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
And more important than all of that,
tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
Shaklakity! that was a hate gun podcast