All Fantasy Everything - Casting a Nancy Meyers Rom Com (w/ Dana Schwartz, Kara Klenk, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

When Babies Boom and Brides have Fathers and the Parents Get Trapped… well… Something’s Gotta Complicate. Uh… The Intern.    Guests:    Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz IG: @DanaSchw...artzzz Podcast: Noble Blood Kara Klenk @KaraKlenk IG: @KaraKlenk Podcast: That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @marsmel IG: @mars.melSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're casting a Nancy Meyers rom-com because she just got a deal with Netflix. She's going to make another movie, and we're going to draft who we want to see in that new movie.
Starting point is 00:00:22 We're joined today by two wonderful guests, journalist, author, and host of the Noble Blood podcast. Her new book, Anatomy, A Love Story, the New York Times number one bestseller, is available now anywhere you can buy books. We're joined, of course, by the lovely Dana Schwartz. Also joining us is the hilarious stand-up comedian and writer. She's the host
Starting point is 00:00:45 of That's Messed Up, an SVU podcast. We're so thrilled she's back on the podcast. The very funny Cara Clank. And I'm your host, Ian Carmel. As always, I'm joined by my friend and comedian, Sean Jordan. David Borey, currently in Bolivia. Let's get into it welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that today is celebrating the work of nancy myers i just wanted to do sort of a pleasant well hold on to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that today is celebrating the work of nancy myers i just wanted to do sort of a pleasant wait hold on i'll even do that one more time i'll keep keep all this in but welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything it's a hans zimmer themed uh score for the top of AFV. I would say my favorite Hans Zimmer score.
Starting point is 00:01:48 I gotta go Gladiator. It's the holiday. He scored Gladiator? Oh yeah, Hans Zimmer hella scored Gladiator. Hans Zimmer scored Gladiator in the holiday? Hans Zimmer is out here, dude. Hans Zimmer I think scored Despicable Me. I mean, he's out there scoring.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Dude is booked and blessed. Booked and blessed. He's doing everything. From Driving Miss Daisy to The Rock, dude, Hans Zimmer. Pirates of the Caribbean, Inception, and The Da Vinci Code. The guy, you can't put him in a box. He'll break out of it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Interstellar. He'll drum on the box and make like an amazing Oscar-nominated but rarely winning score out of it. Cheerleader prom dated. Cheerleader prom dated. Absolutely. What a crazy little career. Little.
Starting point is 00:02:33 What a crazy, insane career. This gentleman, like I knew, you know, he was, he was out there, but I didn't know it was like that.
Starting point is 00:02:38 I'm glad he really threw me for a loop. I thought it was a little more like bouncy, quirky things that he would score. No, he's a Chris Nolan guy. Yeah. I feel like it's the holiday that feels like out things that he would score. No, he's a Chris Nolan guy. Yeah, that's wild. I feel like it's the holiday that feels like out of left field where you're like, oh, no, he'll do Nancy Meyers. He and Nancy are like this.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Did he do True Romance? Yes, I think so. God, that's so good. I think he's that like the glockenspiel dude. Yeah, he did do True Romance. Fun stuff. In one year, Hans Zimmer did True Romance and Cool Runnings. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Those came out in the same year, roughly? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, 1993. It was a formative year for you. 93. It might have been right around the time I made my biggest adult decision to lose my virginity. Maybe it was 91.
Starting point is 00:03:21 I was a child. Anyway, that's gross. But, yeah. virginity maybe it's not even i was a i was a child anyway that's gross but yeah i mean it's it's not the kind you know that that that is definitely a spring romance and nancy myers often often explores you know the this sort of late summer autumn romances nancy my so for those listeners who aren't acquainted well i'm jumping right into the topic and then we'll get into the introduction david david too by the way oh you might want to find two guests nancy myers is a a seminal director i think to all four of us uh and write it but director of the parent trap what women want something's got give the holiday it's complicated the intern and writer of i mean baby boom i i love trouble father of the bride i love trouble she wrote i love trouble oh my god written by she got a written by credit on it so she's involved she's involved private benjamin just like
Starting point is 00:04:21 just amazing the the author of so many amazing author and a tour of so many amazing... Author and a tour of so many amazing movies. Some of our favorite rom-coms. And has not made a movie... So with Nancy Meyers, the movies are expensive. The cashmere budget alone. The cashmere budget alone. Well, here's why I was trying to go through it with Laura.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Because I was trying to come up with the plot of what i want my movie to be and we were just bouncing ideas and she was saying something i was like it can't be like a textbook i live in too big of an apartment for brooklyn for how much money i make kind of romantic comedy because she's a little more serious they're still funny but they're a little more adult like adult rom-coms they're not like uh ryan reynolds i'm 22 rom-coms right these are the the these are beautiful kitchens these are yeah complicated sometimes complicated adult relationships yeah go on i i just call her the queen of um later in life romances like it's women that are finding love in like their 50s 60s you know like it's absolutely the movie book club is not a Nancy Meyers movie,
Starting point is 00:05:26 but to me, it belongs in the Nancy Meyers universe. You know what I mean? I also feel like an important part of the Nancy Meyers movie is that the women are already successful. So many of the early rom-coms are like, Oh, I'm running to with my,
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm an assistant. Coffee is spilling all over me. Cause I'm a mess. These are women who are professionally successful. They've bought and paid for that kitchen, and now they have to figure out what else. Yeah, completely. They may have gone through a relationship before,
Starting point is 00:05:55 and now they're on to the next thing. It is, they're wonderful storytelling. It's also real estate porn in a very real way. I never gave a shit about that stuff i swear to god in the last year where i'm like that couch though that couch you bought a house right yes once you buy you get a house and you're just like framing you know and it's and it's complicated nancy myers is replacing already one of the i mean diane keaton the nancy myers uh avatar is replacing already one of the best kitchens
Starting point is 00:06:25 I've ever seen in my entire life. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep. Oh, God. Sorry. I'm sorry, man. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep in It's Complicated
Starting point is 00:06:34 has one of the best kitchens. Yeah. That's what I'm talking. Yeah. One of the best kitchens I've ever seen. And she's replacing it with an even better kitchen on top of the kitchen she already has at her amazing bakery.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I also feel like an important part of a Nancy Meyers movie is sometimes in a single movie, she'll give us two of the best aspirational lifestyles. Like in The Parent Trap, we get Dennis Quaid on like a big sweeping California vineyard with horses. And you're like, oh, that's beautiful. And also the mom has like a beautiful London townhouse. And then in the holiday, you get both like a beautiful, like massive LA house with like a huge TV and pool. Totally.
Starting point is 00:07:13 And then also a cute little English cottage. Like it's, it covers every base for aspirational living. It's complicated. LA that house. That's Sam. Yeah. It's beachy. That's the one with like It's San Barbara. Yeah, it's beachy.
Starting point is 00:07:25 That's the one with Amanda Peay and Jack Nicholson, right? He fell in love with their daughter. It's funny that you say that because I think it's Patton Oswalt has a bit about all of the Nancy Meyers titles where he's like, it's like feeling sort of kind of. You know, all the names are kind of like something's got to get. It's complicated. I have a fun fact about this. Nancy Meyers does not write her movies with a title. She just writes like Diane Keaton vehicle.
Starting point is 00:07:52 She'll just write the movie. And then like the production company or like a title company adds the title later. She doesn't, that's not, they plug it in afterward. I think they just have like a, like a lottery ball. They just pull one out at random. Yeah. Something's got to give is one of my favorites. Like I literally have listened to the soundtrack over and over.
Starting point is 00:08:12 I'm, I'm obsessed with that movie and it came out also when I was living in Italy and the Italian translation was anything can happen. Which is another feeling sort of kind of, I think title the same people who write like fords like like like slogans for whatever that automobile campaign is going to be right nancy myers movie titles it's not even anyone in hollywood they ship it off to madison avenue i love it whenever you think there is there's the chance that it might be.
Starting point is 00:08:46 And there you go and then there you end up. Right? Whether you think you can. The city with people in stores. So here to draft Nancy, Sean Jordan, you're the person who turned me, you've been a rom-com, you've been writing for rom-coms for a long time, way before I got into all of them. I attribute my love of romantic comedies to you.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I appreciate it. Comedic friend. I feel like Dana really hit it home, though. I would try on our Sundays. It's a little different when I would try with like 30 Buffalo Wings sitting around. Be like, it feels more like a departed kind of day. But now it's, you know, it can be like a definitely maybe kind of day or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Nancy Meyers aren't 30 boneless wings movies. They're a tasteful array of mini quiches. They can be. I've thrown on the holiday when I have been three sheets, my friend. I mean, it's, you know, the holiday. They can all get me there. But yes, i do love a romantic comedy the full nancy myers experience is you just came back from a farmer's market
Starting point is 00:09:49 and you're cutting your flowers and it's on it's like instead of playing 10 000 maniacs i can play a nancy myers movie so i can have a visual medium when i when i cook make my salad or whatever there's a real like that's not the band you think would be called 10 000 maniacs no you 10 000 maniacs sounds like we're fucking 10 000 maniacs but yeah i was just listening to them i don't know 20 minutes before we started recording and it's natalie merchant man why were you listening to 10 000 maniacs yeah these are days i love that song and like i open up all the windows and i have max and her bouncer and like because the night yeah that's the first one it's like the live if you say hey google play um 10 000 maniacs it's the live version of because the night i'm just like fucking opening the windows letting the
Starting point is 00:10:33 neighbors know what i'm about to natalie merchant what's she up to uh probably vegan probably vegan i hope she's just living a nancy me ass life. I hope she's like in Ohio. I bet she is. Yeah, man. These Are Days was like a big song when I was growing up because it came out right around like our graduation tosses. So it was like you needed one of those anthems about life and how complicated everything's been in the 17 years
Starting point is 00:10:58 you've been on the planet, you know? Yeah. And when I graduated in the year of our Lord 2000, we had that Vitamin C song and the Green Day song. And I was like, they fucking made these for specifically for high school graduates. And we just got the two songs that were like only about graduating high school. Time of your life was every slideshow at graduation. What was the vitamin C one?
Starting point is 00:11:20 It was as we go by, we'll remember. It makes me shake. I was so scared when I graduated high school because I did not have a plan. I did terrible in school. My plan was to be a professional skateboarder. And so when I graduated, I was like terrified. And so those songs make me think about how scared I was. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Oh, wow. Yeah, the sense memory. The fear. Yeah. Is real. It's odd. Natalie Merchant has been a vegetarian since 1980. Oh, you. Yeah, the sense memory. The fear. Yeah. Is real. It's odd. Natalie Merchant has been a vegetarian since 1980. You were right.
Starting point is 00:11:51 But I bet she eats cheese. Maybe she's not full vegan. Yeah, it says vegetarian, and she resumed eating meat when she was pregnant and then stopped afterwards. You know what, Natalie? I've had two kids, and I've never resumed eating meat.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Oh, get her. I call you on that. Get her. Wait, did you guys also did we mention that she wrote all the father of the bride movies too? Yeah. Nancy Meyers. Nancy Meyers wrote the father of the bride. She's got screenplay credit and co-directed
Starting point is 00:12:18 with Charles, her husband. Right? Yeah, I think so. So I'm like obsessed with Nancy Meyers and her relationship with her husband and also her daughter. Because have you seen the movie Home Again with Reese Witherspoon? No, I saw that on her IMDb and I was like, this looks like a repurposed Sweet Home Alabama. Absolutely. Her daughter directed it.
Starting point is 00:12:42 But like people say her daughter directed it. But like people say her daughter directed it. Oh, they say for those listening, Dana did the run the jewels pose when she they say that Nancy was calling call an action and cut. But again, I don't want to I don't want to speak stories out of school. Right. Yeah, you're right, though. Well, screenplay, it says she did. The husband directed it. But screenplays her and her husband for Father of the Bride. And there's a credit on here of Father of the Bride 3.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Which was a really cute little, it was a charity short. It was very cute. Oh, cute. So Nancy Meyers, it's hard to imagine her being on a set and not taking control because she is like famously a controlling director right yeah shoot like me like in a good way like needs sets to be perfect like this bathroom needs to be the most charming bathroom you've ever seen like didn't she build the house in the holiday in the cotswolds she built right because she couldn't find the right one they could not find an actual house
Starting point is 00:13:45 that suited their purpose, so they freaking built that house. Because those aren't real. In the holiday, when they're in that house, I'm like, come on. I mean, I like it for the fantasy I'm living in. And then Jude Law shows up to that house that's miles out of town,
Starting point is 00:13:59 and he's just the most charming amount of drunk you could possibly be. Like, I don't know. And then he wakes up and he was blacked out you're like how yeah this is the kind of thing where christopher nolan builds like a giant tube that rotates to like make inception look realistic yeah and get celebrated for it nancy myers gets like shut out of making movies because she builds like a cotswold cottage but netflix said no longer, finally dropped
Starting point is 00:14:25 the bag and is giving Nancy Meyers some money to direct and produce and write. She tweeted, I thought I was retired. I guess not. It's exactly what we need Netflix to be doing. She was even retired. Didn't know she was out of the game. I think the game, they tried to shut her out of the game. Really?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Yeah. And she's back in because she's such an expensive director. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, because I guess she hasn't done anything of the game. Really? Yeah. And she's back in because she's such an expensive director. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, because I guess she hasn't done anything since the intern. Yeah. Is the holiday the one where Cameron Diaz's job is that she scores movie trailers or she cuts movie trailers?
Starting point is 00:14:58 That's the other thing, too. Every woman protagonist has the coolest job. Meryl Streep has her own successful bakery diane keaton writes these quirky ass new york plays about her own life that people will go to yeah the dream the dream like making movie trailers is like i'm sure i would be terrible at it but i've always thought what a cool job you know right and you can apparently afford like the dopest house in pasadena with your, with your movie editing job,
Starting point is 00:15:25 which maybe if you're, if you're the best trailer cutter in the business, what do we know? You might be able to get an amazing house. We know she owns the company. Yeah. Yeah. She's a boss,
Starting point is 00:15:34 man. That movie is so good. Shannon Sossaman, sneaky little role for Shannon Sossaman. You just, it's another fun thing about these movies is sometimes you get that where you're like, what happened to Shannon Sossaman?
Starting point is 00:15:43 And then boom, there she is. She was on an episode of Law and Order SVU. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Oh yeah. I bet you will. Well,
Starting point is 00:15:51 one of those people who's going to be perhaps casting Shannon Sossman in the movie is Sean Jordan. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar, Mel Jordan on Instagram. How are you doing, Sean? What do you got going on?
Starting point is 00:16:00 I'm doing great. I have planning a wedding going on. Yes, sir. And I'll be in Seattle at the hereafter on june 2nd there it is that's it the wedding man boy i'll tell you i've never said this is a racket and that's how they get you as much as i have in the last month and i'm not doing a goddamn thing it's okay it's like how nancy meyer's daughter husband directed that movie but really it was nancy meyer that's me saying like yeah i'm planning this wedding sure i am you know i've all i do
Starting point is 00:16:29 is i watch max where i'm like i can do this plenty i can watch our daughter and if you want me to do anything you have to lay it out perfectly what needs to be done and i will do that but uh oh i set up i set up my my snip i'm to get snipped, set up the appointment. Hell yeah. I want my husband to do that too. You know, here's what I would say to every gentleman listening who has come up to me at shows. It is, I like to consider us like, you know, just, I hate the term, but like woke bros.
Starting point is 00:17:00 So that I was at this show, I was doing-up and this pretty gnarly looking dude i was just talking to shane brennan and this i was talking about a vasectomy and the guy this guy turns around he's like i'm the one that dm'd you man and i was like no shit because he didn't didn't look like that kind of guy and what did he dm you about about getting a vasectomy and just like details and not to be scared and i've had so many guys hit me up and and be like don't be nervous don't be scared it doesn't hurt and you know just all this stuff it's a fun supportive little and every show i've done where i bring it up there's at least one guy that claps and he's like yeah yeah brother i did
Starting point is 00:17:34 it there you go yeah yeah don't be scared if you're thinking about doing it go do it hell yeah doctor made it sound like it was gonna be a walk in the park i'm sure he was lying but i'm here i'm here for it well what do they do they attach your the they sew it back into your belly button is what i've heard right it comes out of your belly button now yeah yeah well they have to make a hole in your belly button because your belly button a lot of people think it goes all the way through it doesn't it's actually sewn up in the middle so they have to destitch that and then yeah they just they do that and then all your waste that used to come out of your penis now just goes it back into your body and you barf it out. And as long as you don't do that where somebody could get pregnant,
Starting point is 00:18:08 you're good. So you could see where it would be intimidating, but like ultimately it's not going to hurt. There's a big circle of support for you. You're like a little apple jug after that. Sean, my friend that's had it done said to that, that wear headphones or something.
Starting point is 00:18:25 He's like, there's a sound to it that is like a little unnerving when they're doing it. And he was like, wear headphones. I heard you can see smoke. One of the doctor was like, you can, you can see the cauterized,
Starting point is 00:18:36 but it's only 20 minutes too. So I don't know. When I go to the dentist. Yeah, dude, I, maybe I will. Maybe I'll listen to 10 000 maniacs dude
Starting point is 00:18:45 yeah i'll tell you what it is it's 9999 maniacs because this guy he's thought about it and he's made the right decision i don't know sean has a real sense memory connection to music and i would hate for him to like now have his vasectomy tied to 10 000 maniacs every time you know god what song don't i like i don't like that that song, Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlyle, so maybe I'll listen to that. What are you listening to? You're getting a mistake to me. Butterfly Kisses.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Oh, my word. Sorry, that's really cracking me up. Listen to it without headphones, too. Jack it up in the room, dude. Can you guys put this through the whole... Can everyone hear it? Can we do that? I need the doctor to hear this.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Cara Clank is here. At Cara Clank on Twitter. At Cara Clank on Instagram. That's me. How are you doing? What do you got going? You're on tour right now. I'm good, yeah. I'm touring with my podcast. That's messed up. If anyone listens to SVU, we are going to be
Starting point is 00:19:44 in Tempe, Arizona at the end of uh april and we'll be in uh then we'll be doing some southern california dates like irvine san diego so check out that's messed up live.com if you want to come to any of our live shows hell yeah what what are the how do you do the live shows what's like the what's the format then it sounds fun so on the show what we do is we uh we break down an episode of the show we talk about the true crime it's based on and then we interview an actor from the episode it's obviously hard to get um you know someone that's been on svu that lives in tempe arizona so we've we've sort of changed the format for our live shows a little bit which is there's so many amazing episodes of SVU that are like
Starting point is 00:20:25 Canon iconic episodes that are not based on a true crime. So we're doing those. So we do like a big recap. We use PowerPoint. We have like, we play clips. There's all kinds of little jokey PowerPoint moments. Then we do a bunch of little games. Audience members come up, play trivia with us and stuff like that. So it's just like more, it's like the podcast, but it's got like its own live show experience. It's not just like the full repeat. That's such a great time. That sounds so fun. We've been having a blast so far.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Yeah. Yeah. People are like a lot of, we have a very, a very female fan base. We have men as well, but we have a very female fan base and a lot of, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:00 boyfriends and girlfriends are getting dragged along who don't watch the show. And they come up to us after they're like, I've never seen us view in my life. And I like your show. Like I thought your show was really fun. So that's how, you know, boyfriends and girlfriends are getting dragged along who don't watch the show and they come up to us after and they're like, I've never seen a few in my life. And I like your show. Like I thought your show was really fun. So that's how, you know, you got it. We feel proud of that. That's fantastic. Make sure you go see that. Uh, if you're listening to this, that sounds like so much fun. Well, any, anything else you want to plug? No. I mean, if you live in Los Angeles, I run a live comedy show called better half at Barbandini every week. Come on down. It's free.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Such a great show. Thank you. Dana Schwartz is here as well. At Dana Schwartz with three Z's on Twitter. And at Dana Schwartz with three Z's on Instagram as well. How are you doing, my love? I'm good. Thank you for having me.
Starting point is 00:21:42 This is very exciting. Of course. We were talking about, I saw this Nancy Meyers news. Yeah. And then I was like, we have to do this podcast. I don't know if David will want to do this podcast. And it was like- Everybody knew.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Everybody knew that. We knew that David wouldn't want to do this podcast. But I was like, I love talking about Nancy Meyers movies with you. I think we watch one probably on average once a month. Yeah. We'll revisit throw on the holiday every time we need a metaphorical holiday. There aren't like,
Starting point is 00:22:14 there aren't 12 of them. So, you know, we're watching a lot of repeats. So like, uh, it was, it was only right that you were here now since the last time you were on
Starting point is 00:22:21 this podcast, you have had, uh, the book anatomy, a love story become a number one, york times bestseller yeah and it stayed on the top 10 list for how long was it 10 weeks that's 10 weeks hell yeah that's amazing thank you it really is thank you in no small part no doubt to the the support and fan base of this very podcast? I think a small part. And now that you can't buy it anymore,
Starting point is 00:22:50 it's not on sale anymore. Is that right? You can't get it. No, no, you should. You should still continue to buy it. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still for sale. Nieces, nephews, children, coworkers,
Starting point is 00:23:00 anatomy, a love story everywhere books are sold. Is it fiction or nonfiction? It is fiction. It is a novel about a young woman who wants to be a surgeon during sort of the dawn of surgery in 19th century Scotland. But you don't have to know or care about history. That's so cool. Back when surgery was gritty and gross.
Starting point is 00:23:24 So, Sean, think how lucky you are that you get a vasectomy now when anesthesia exists. Yeah, I think they used to just smash your balls with a frying pan back in the 19th century Scotland. Watching somebody give birth, I don't know how in the world anybody ever made it before anesthesia, before modern medicine. I just don't know how it happened. Did it, was the success rate a lot lower? I mean, it sounds so morbid, but it's like, I just don't understand it. So a brief detour into the history of surgery. Surgery was so dangerous because also they didn't know about infection. I mean, they knew about it because it would happen, but they didn't know how to stop it. So really, if you didn't absolutely need it, like if it wasn't a desperate case, you almost always wanted to avoid surgery because then you're taking your life in your own hands with regards to like infection.
Starting point is 00:24:21 It's not like they were sterilizing even the blade between. I mean, most women died after childbirth because the doctor's hands weren't clean yeah i wasn't there like a malcolm gladwell or something about like when they just started washing their hands like the maternal maturity mortality rate just like plummeted yeah and the guy whose idea was was like laughed out of science right yeah this Yeah, this is now very unrelated to Nancy Meyers, but there was a Hungarian obstetrician named Ignaz Semmelweis who basically was like, okay, all these women are dying of puperial fever after they give birth. Maybe it's because the doctor's hands are dirty. Have we thought about that? And he was so roundly mocked by the medical establishment and by his wife that he went
Starting point is 00:25:06 insane and then died in an insane asylum. And then like 30 years later, the scientist Lister of Listerine fame discovered, you know, it became, you know, popular scientific understanding that disinfectant is a real thing. Damn. See, everybody take that to the bank. You learned something. Wow, that's like great moments in gaslighting, right? Facts like these and more you can hear on the Noble Blood podcast, hosted and written by Dana Schwartz. Available everywhere. Podcasts are sold. For free.
Starting point is 00:25:39 You can listen to it for free. Anything else you want to plug, Dana Schwartz? No. I mean, a wedding with my love, Ian Carmel. That's exciting on the horizon. I'm going to look so good at that wedding. Oh, are tickets on sale
Starting point is 00:25:54 for that? What's the pre-sale code? Tickets are on sale right now. But basically, please buy my book because that money will go right back in to throw in a fun party. Yeah. We're going to get married at houston's reliant stadium 80 000 seat capacity it's gonna be great smash mouth's playing dude smash mouth's playing uh smash mouth's playing the opening and the closing yeah i'm walking down the aisle uh to
Starting point is 00:26:17 all-star yeah you should get nancy meyer to write your vows nancy meyer's running the vows the flute player from jethro toll is gonna officiate via the flute. This is going to be a very aggressive sort of flute-based ceremony. Excited. Dan St. Germain's wedding had a saxophonist and he's a saxophonist from a movie called like The Lost Boys or something. He got The Lost Boys
Starting point is 00:26:40 saxophonist? You are not serious. That's the most famous saxophonist. Yeah, and he like burst in. I didn't know about this movie. I didn't know about the saxophonist. Yeah, and he burst in. I didn't know about this movie. I didn't know about the saxophonist, but this man burst in and played all... It was so awesome and funny. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Did he play the I Still Believe? Was he shirtless? Yes, shirtless. He had a odd piece on. It was wild. Was he all oiled up? Yeah, dude. My mom would
Starting point is 00:27:06 stop whatever was happening to watch that. That's one of my mom's favorite movies. I could be saying anything. I could be telling her I got an A on something, which never happened. As soon as that scene, she'd be like, be quiet, be quiet. I gotta go. He's shredded in that movie,
Starting point is 00:27:22 but it's so perverted looking. He's shredded. He hangs out but it's so perverted looking. Yeah. He's shredded. He's shredded. He hangs out with vampires, dude, of course. No, no, he's just playing on the boardwalk. The vampires just go to the show. He's hanging out with them. Get dinner.
Starting point is 00:27:33 He's vampire adjacent. Well, yeah. Yeah, you're right. You gotta keep it tight if you're going to be hanging out with vampires. He did keep it. He's shredded. I mean, you can't deny that. When someone's shredded, they're shredded.
Starting point is 00:27:44 But he... You don't see a lot of like people who are just sort of like in a comfortable phase of their body hanging out with vampires. It's mostly shredded people. Do you think, and it feels like all vampires are shredded. Do you think if you were just like an average, out of shape dude and you get bitten by a vampire,
Starting point is 00:27:58 you just sort of, it sucks in? If you only eat blood, you know, that's like a pretty protein diet. It's a difference between like shredded and just skinny like a lot of like keto his boy edward cullen was skinny you know he's not shredded right i mean they did airbrush very clearly airbrush abs onto him yeah did they really yeah it's very funny that's pretty tight did you see did you see what i don't know why this but what just because he wore a suit to the batman parade did you see what justin bieber wore to the fucking grammys
Starting point is 00:28:27 yeah that's a big suit he looks like frankenstein yeah his shoes he looked like he was wearing the shoes that like robert de niro wears in a movie so he doesn't look short it's it's crazy anyway that's just where laura and i were like yeah i'm definitely fine with being 40 I'm fine with it I don't need to think that I need to do that I'm thrilled about being my age Someone should have reeled him in a little bit Who's going to reel in Justin Bieber He's cool
Starting point is 00:28:54 He's the precedent for what the kids are doing He's one of them Even if you're very cool you can get over your skis a little bit I think he got over his skis He's over his skis he's not eternally cool he's not like justin bieber isn't paul newman you know what i mean he's like definitely someone we don't have any we don't have a lot of paul newmans anymore or just a lot of people that are old and cool i guess betty white was always cool we have jeff goldblum yeah goldblum's always cool yeah he doesn't get over his skis man we
Starting point is 00:29:24 watched the fly the other night. That movie is sad and sadder. Have you guys seen The Fly recently? No. I don't think I can watch that kind of body horror. It just doesn't, I can't watch it. I have seen the Cronenberg. Have you seen Dead Ringers?
Starting point is 00:29:40 Jeremy Irons? Another cool guy. That's a fun one. Last night when Mr. Carmel was out doing stand-up, I watched The Evil Dead 2. Crazy body horror. Have you seen that? I think so.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I mix them up. I mix up which is which. Is Evil Dead 2 where Ash gets the gun armor? Is that just Evil Dead? No, no. Evil Dead 1 feels sort of like a Super 8 film. Evil Dead 2 is like, that's all the cool stuff. The chainsaw and the catchphrase yeah the head rolling up the body like doing a little dance
Starting point is 00:30:10 we watched it early quarantine anyway getting off early q the opposite of a nancy myers movie the opposite of a nancy myers movie my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish plant identifier app which i'm thinking about signing up for the premium i haven't jumped yet dude is that real i've had that idea for a lot where you just like show a picture of a plant it tells you what it is yeah is that real or they got it really yeah everyone's out there biting my shit dude you know an idea well go ahead go ahead no please go on i thought that i invented the thing that you jam into a pie and it cuts it into eight pieces. When I was like a third grader, we had a science fair and I came up with that idea.
Starting point is 00:30:48 And one of my teachers, I think one of my teachers was like, it's already real. And I'm like, well, you could have been cooler about it. Oh, as far as I know, I thought about it. I didn't know that existed. That sounds great. Yeah, it's like one of those things that you just jam in, cuts it into pieces. I'm saying I cut you off and I apologize. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:31:03 No, please. That's exactly what the podcast is for, is teaching the people about this pie divider i didn't know about the pie divider i bet i you know who probably didn't know about the pie divider huh meryl streep's character and it's complicated yeah owner of a bakery yeah listen all fantasy everything watch he's got a rose gold pie divider for sure completely it's beauty it's it's 800 you have to you have to have there's like a room at william sonoma that we're not allowed in here okay we're all so when i was making uh or when i was when i was sitting next to the person making her wedding registry
Starting point is 00:31:39 putting stuff on it it's funny because i kind of have stuff now i don't oh you know like you don't i don't we don't need forks like we don't need silverware we have it so it's weird trying to go through and be like do we want to get new silverware and then figure out how to get rid of the old stuff like do you know what do you do when you have the stuff already you're speaking our language registries come from a time where like you were coming you were joining households it was your first time living together you needed all that stuff and now people get married after they live together for years and have beautiful homes established and so you feel kind of like weird being like i guess i could use a better salad bowl like that's what it is that's where
Starting point is 00:32:18 she laura's like we need new bowls i'm like i mean i i wouldn't mind like no bowls but we don't need it upgrade for me it's like i wish everyone would just give us money for the honeymoon. But my mom is like, no, my friends just want to give you, they will give you plates. They are 60-year-old white women, and they don't feel right giving you money. That's just culturally how it works. Yeah, I have a joke on my album about that actually about like about being like fuck honey funds like i'm not giving you a walk on the beach i'm giving you glasses that you can hold in your hand and think of me when you drink out of them but in real in reality i do
Starting point is 00:32:57 think like yeah give people cash if that's what they want you know we got like now there's like a waffle maker on there i want to kitchen aid attachments and stuff like that where it's like yeah we could use we'll probably use these twice a year but it'll be good to have i like waffles i have a crock pot that i've used one time ever my seven year wedding anniversary is coming up in two months time to time to time to make a crock pot dish or you have to kill him with it Ian you have some good slow cooker recipes I'll show you over some slow cooker recipes
Starting point is 00:33:29 I made chicken tinga the other day And it hit the spot This is the thing I'm a vegetarian So there's just not as much that you can make in a crockpot It's very good for meats I feel like Chicken, pulled pork, whatever And I just don't eat meat So
Starting point is 00:33:43 Kara you know what is good in a crock pot this is the most basic i feel like internet bitch thing to say but have you made alice and romans hashtag the stew no oh it's like a it's like a chickpea coconut based stew oh hell yeah girl wait i'm writing this down yeah okay ian's had it it's's so good. Hashtag the stew. I love it. Hashtag the stew. So good. It's really good. It's like a hearty, like I'm not a vegetarian, but I would choose it as a meal.
Starting point is 00:34:13 This is that girl that's kind of controversial, right? Yeah, because she's like a very basic white lady who people are like, it's not a stew. It's a chana masala. And then it's like, is it cultural appropriation? And I'm like, maybe, but also it's not a stew it's a chana masala and like then you know it's like is it cultural appropriation and i'm like got it maybe but also it's delicious yeah it's such delicious cultural appropriation i'm gonna make it that's a great idea thank you guys i'll i'll tweet a picture of my stew to all fantasy everything account yeah her recipes are so fucking good i anyway yeah yeah is she controversial still she's fine right i think she's fine no i
Starting point is 00:34:47 just remember i think it was like a pandemic you know like where we were focusing on all kinds of crazy shit because we were in our houses yeah yeah i remember she went on z-way's show and i watched it and was like what's i don't like what's happening yeah yeah who who among us would come out looking good after z-way show only only a parna nancherla went on there and like looked okay you know what i mean like that was it yeah listen to listen to all fantasy everything watch the late late show james corden where i remain the on-screen sidekick and uh heck i mean have a have a have a great time just in your everyday life that's what i have to promote we are gathered here today not only to talk about who would do well on Z-Way,
Starting point is 00:35:27 but also to fantasy cast a Nancy Meyers motion picture. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicky game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, three different ones. Here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, three different ones. Here we go again.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Paper, paper, rock. Sean Jordan wins. Odd person out. The rom-com king himself, Sean Jordan wins. Sean, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,
Starting point is 00:35:56 it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. Well, I'll tell you what that is. It's a serpentine for those listening.
Starting point is 00:36:07 If David happens to listen to this because he just can't get it in his head what it is. It's like eating corn on the cob for some folks. I know that everybody has their own certain way to eat corn on the cob. Some people just eat corn. They take it right off the cob. But if you're eating it on the cob still, you can start and you just go all the way across, right to left, and then down a tick, and then all the way back, left to right, and then down a just go all the way across right to left and then down a tick and then all the way back left to right and then down a tick all the way back right to left down a tick until you just have kind of like a gross feeling wet cob yeah you don't want to touch so it sits on the plate until i don't know there's flies on it you kind of make
Starting point is 00:36:39 a cash register noise when you do it too right right? That's cute. I like that. Ging, ging, ging, ging, ging. Ching, you have to. You know what I mean though when you're done with it and it's kind of wet and you don't want to touch it but you gotta, it's just on the plate. I'm not out here eating corn on the cob. I don't think I've had corn on a cob in a decade and a half. You don't strike me as a I don't think I've ever seen you eat it. So anyway, that's what it's like.
Starting point is 00:37:02 I'll eat corn. Don't get me wrong. Well, you do it off the cob because you're scared is that right off the cob dude yeah because you're you live in fear is that right well i look at the corn on the cob the corn hops off the cob because it knows yeah don't make me come over there dude well no i mean you're i know that you live in fear you got vaccinated didn't you yeah yeah see yeah couldn't i couldn't i couldn't do it i live under the terror of i'm just not scared the government and the panopticon of William Gates. I haven't been on this podcast
Starting point is 00:37:28 in a while. You guys are anti-vax now? We're pretty big anti-vax. I just never had a reason to make us think about it before. Of course, I got vaccinated for pertussis and things like that, but with this new thing, what am I doing? You have to pick a corner. It's a competitive podcast market. It's not like it was three years ago.
Starting point is 00:37:44 We're anti-vax. We're very pro Anne Hathaway. We are... Well, that one is true. I'm big team Anne Hathaway. That is true. Yeah, both of those are true. We don't think waterfalls are real. I've never seen one. Have you ever seen one?
Starting point is 00:38:00 I've never seen one. Yeah, so waterfalls, those are fake. What if there was somebody named Vax and she was someone's aunt so she'd be anti-Vax? That's a great drag name. Yeah, that's a great drag name. It's also crazy to think about if that were real.
Starting point is 00:38:17 I'm just actually going to call for a pause here where we all think about if that were real, how crazy that would be. First, if the name Vax was a name. Crazy on its own. And then that person's brother or sister had kids. Fucking mind-blowing.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Get your four shots, if you're eligible. Everybody out there. Sean Jordan, you are, with that in mind, basically if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round, what will the order of today's draft be? Did we lay down any, did we have any parameters at all we're casting yeah right yeah and then so you know there's not like any we have to cast this and this and that we can cast any five
Starting point is 00:38:55 characters in this film that we want i think so yeah you know she doesn't just do rom-coms father of the bride they're ensemble comedies they're ensemble comedies with a romantic bent often yeah okay and uh are we given plots do you guys have plots i i have characters okay all right um yeah you can't as as much or as little as you want baby okay i'm just wondering you call sean baby too yeah but a different baby that was the general baby he doesn't so can i ask a question along these lines like so sean goes okay i want the main protagonist woman to be this person is that person cast and we can't we can't make our suggestions now no they're off they're off the table that person yeah no no that person but but is that role filled no no no no no no no no no no yeah okay we can all have like the doctor or whatever i just want i'm not gonna show you
Starting point is 00:39:46 like who my people are but i have maybe 25 people that i really like i have at least 10 yeah it's gonna be interesting because not everyone can do nancy myers right we've seen that we've seen in my in cameron diaz not really nail n. A little broad in her comedy, I'll say. Yeah. Can I say before we start, this was a take for what I think makes the perfect Nancy Meyers character, actor. And I ran this by Ian before. I think it's a really good actor who's also really good at hosting SNL. I think that's sort of the umbrella. really good actor who's also really good at hosting SNL. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:28 That's sort of the umbrella, like a good actor who then is willing to commit and have a little fun. Commit to very silly things. I think that's a great call. I have a plot. Do you have an order? I'm going to pick my... Yeah, alright. Sorry. Dana, me, Cara, Ian.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Dana, Sean, Cara. Thank you. I was babbling, so I couldn't go first. I haven't taken one this serious in a long time, and I'm also scared that it's going to be a clunker, and I don't want everyone to be like, your movie's going to suck. I think it's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Spread your wings and fly, dude. I'm going to beat my butterfly sugar, baby. We're going to get to Dana's first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. PolicyGenius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With PolicyGenius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it,
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Starting point is 00:43:59 Dana Schwartz. Yeah. You have the first pick. So I think sort of the sneaky ingredient to a great nancy myers movie is the love interest yeah i think like you know i could take leading lady first but there's a lot of leading ladies i could plug into this movie when you think to like what really makes it great the leading man has to be insanely charming like the jew Jude Law almost saves Cameron Diaz's half of the holiday because he's so charming. And so Kate,
Starting point is 00:44:30 Kate Winslet. Oh, sorry to interrupt. Yeah. Kate Winslet also is as a love interest. You know, I like Jack Black in the holiday, but without Kate Winslet,
Starting point is 00:44:40 I think he would have been obnoxious. They're great together. Love interest really carries a lot of weight. And I was like, honestly, the perfect love interest for a Nancy Meyers movie, Chris Pine. Wow. Chris Pine.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Wow. I'm not done. He's sort of growing his hair out. He's sort of in like a Chris Christopherson phase. He has like a little beard now. He has kind of long hair. But I would argue, I would ask you to hearken back to
Starting point is 00:45:06 early chris pine he was the love interest in princess diaries 2 a royal engagement absolutely kills it which is nancy meyer's core nancy meyer's core he's really funny he's really funny in um he's hilarious and horrible bosses yeah he's really funny in that he's in um not a great movie but he's the prince and into the woods and he's also really funny in that he can sing he's very charming he's was great on snl you're gonna come on here and say not not a great movie about into the woods it's not a great movie i i gotta go into work on monday great performances great performances by individual actors. Poorly directed. I don't think I've seen into the woods. You've never seen into the woods.
Starting point is 00:45:48 I haven't seen it. I haven't. I'm the only one here who's seen it. But Chris Pine's really good in it, actually. He's my favorite of the Chris's. I think he's the hottest one by a mile. I agree. He's so hot.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Obviously, he's attractive. But he's not my version of, I think, what I would go for in a dude. And again, this is like lining up perfect looking people and then picking who's the most perfect. I get it. But Chris Pine, to me, he's not, I guess he's not my, he's not the hottest Chris to me. He's the most charming Chris. I think he's, if not the hottest, at least the most charming.
Starting point is 00:46:21 If you can pull off like Star Trek and like make that fun and you also are great in comedies and like you can sing put him in a linen suit oh yeah let him be sort of like deep v shirtless i want him to like in this movie you know how like in uh something's got to give keanu reeves is like big young and like handsome and really successful and like also yeah he's sort of going to be the new Keanu Reeves in this movie where he's like maybe a little younger than the leading lady and he's very successful in uh some sort of business that mostly now involves him wearing linen shirts that are that are half unbuttoned are we thinking the current like are we shaggy Chris Pine like Like maybe living in the woods, learning how to mountain climb. He's got a beard.
Starting point is 00:47:08 He's got long hair. Or are we thinking like. He's not in the woods. He still has a beard, but it's maintained. And like slightly longer. It's not. So it's slightly more kemped than the current one. Yeah, but it's not Star Trek Chris Pine.
Starting point is 00:47:21 more hemped than the current one. Yeah, but it's not Star Trek, Chris Pine. One of the nice things about a Nancy Meyers movie is that the male characters can't, like the Keanu Reeves in Something's Gotta Give is a one-dimensional fantasy dream guy in a movie. You know what I mean? Where so often you get the opposite, but in a Nancy Meyers movie,
Starting point is 00:47:42 she'll just be like, yeah, he's a, I think probably 32 year old at the time he made that movie, like hot, hot doctor. Who's read all her plays. And he's just into her. Into her. A Hamptons doctor.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Who's just so into her. You're like, that's illegal. Doctors can't throw it at you like that, but he's doing it because he just can't help himself. I think in this version, Chris Pine is a, a professor, a literature. He teaches, he's an it because he just can't help himself. I think in this version, Chris Pine is a professor of literature. He teaches.
Starting point is 00:48:08 He's an associate professor of literature and he is a he teaches our main character's book. He is. Look at those fucking eyebrows on that. We're going back to Princess Diaries 2, A Royal Engagement written by Shonda Rhimes. His eyebrows look like little edible caterpillars.
Starting point is 00:48:24 They're perfect. Some might say Ian Carmel eyebrows. written by Shonda Rhimes. His eyebrows look like little edible caterpillars. They're perfect. Edible caterpillars. Yes, some might say Ian Carmel eyebrows. A lot of people say that. They are perfect. You do have perfect eyebrows, man. That's my pick. Chris Pine, great first pick.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Building around Chris Pine, I love interest. Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick. So I'm going female lead first pick. And I have a... Man, I'm kind of going gonna be screwed if I don't get it but I think I'm getting everyone so the female lead that I want in this movie I
Starting point is 00:48:51 just love her I think she's hilarious and she's you know of the age to do a really good job in the movie is Rashida Jones ah yeah oh and it's gonna you know it has to all come together but I like it she hasn't she hasn't got to like sink her teeth in and I think it's gonna you know it it has to all come together but i like it she hasn't she hasn't got to like sink her teeth in and i think it's there i think she could definitely lead a movie i think
Starting point is 00:49:12 she's very funny she's very charming she can be very serious which uh i'm gonna have you know it's it's a fairly serious movie that i want to see that i'm that i'm making here but it's gonna be funny but it's like a lot of real life stuff and i think she's uh i think she'd just be great at it yeah it's between her and someone else and i i just game time decision right there so yeah rashida jones she's my female lead like her always liked her and uh i'm sensing a little pushback here i don't know that i don't know rashida jones is good i don't know if i don't know if i can i don't know if Rashida Jones is good. I don't know if that's who I would pick to lead a Nancy Meyers movie. I'm with Ian.
Starting point is 00:49:51 I don't know if she has it. Well, we're going to see. Let's get rid of her. We are going to see. We are going to find out. I'm hoping that if I get to build the world, hopefully it works out. Again, I was really trying to think about this, thinking about what I to see and i would like to see it i think she'd be great i think she could handle herself and uh i see her i see her carrying a movie she hasn't got a chance
Starting point is 00:50:15 to do it yet but she's gotten a lot of chances what is she like carried i mean she was in i love you man right jesse and celeste forever the rom-com with uh how do i not know these movies with uh uh andy sandberg i haven't seen it she was in on the rocks her on the rocks performance made me think that like maybe maybe she could do it i haven't seen on the rocks yet i've never even heard of it i'm blowing it see my worst nightmare is coming true it's coming true you're pitting you're sweating i'm pitting out i worst nightmare is coming true it's coming true you're pitting you're sweating i'm pitting out i'm just about to say it sweating he's blinking all fast my eyebrows are twitching you know what give her give her maybe in nancy's hands my thing she's maybe not i think she's got it i love it and i'm stoked i think she'll i think she's gonna kill it i don't
Starting point is 00:51:00 know if the fruit i don't know if she's gotten to nancy meyer if the fruit is ripe enough you know what i made for a nancy meyer's lead okay will she be wearing her shirt from the capital one commercials that weird shirt that everybody was posting about oh yeah i don't think so i think we're gonna leave that in the trailer i think we might have love wardrobe take a crack at it we'll see you clearly have like a vision for this movie so we'll see how the pieces fit around yeah i do rashida jones you'll explain like who she is what she's doing a little bit later yeah all right yep i have a whole my version of like a synopsis written i was probably worded it's worded poorly but yeah it's what i what i think the at the back of the box would say all right all right
Starting point is 00:51:43 rashida jones uh cara it's time for your first pick okay so when you know when i got this when i got this assignment somebody popped into my head and not for the female lead i will get to my female lead choices later but i think much as uh i agree with dana that the the interest, the male love interest is very important. I also think what's very important is the elder protagonist woman's child, the daughter. Amanda Peete was great in Something's Gotta Give, I thought. And I think it's an important, like, foil character. And I would like to submit my pick for that character as the, for the, for that, I would like to submit the actress,
Starting point is 00:52:26 Linda Cardellini. Oh, I think she would be really great. She's about 46, you know, but she, I think she can play a little bit younger and you know, she's,
Starting point is 00:52:38 she maybe has her own stuff going on. Maybe she's just there to listen to her mom's problems, but I want, I love Linda Cardellini. I want her in more stuff, and I think she's dope. Everything. Yeah, and she can pull off, I think, the beautiful wardrobe of a Nancy Meyers
Starting point is 00:52:54 movie. Not always beautiful, but the conservative cashmere wardrobe of a Nancy Meyers movie. Lots of contrasting creams. Absolutely. Yeah, shades of vanilla as they say what's linda cartellini been up to lately well dead to me oh and i guess i'm our whole thing that i don't pay attention to oh she was in hawkeye yeah she's mrs hawkeye yeah she's mrs
Starting point is 00:53:19 hawkeye who's mr hawkeye jeremy renner jared it just popped into my... She's in my head because I just watched Mad Men again and she's in Mad Men. She's in the later seasons, which I completely forgot about. But she's just sort of... She was in Bloodline. I know that was a while ago. But she did to me on Netflix. It's one of my favorites. So she's already the Netflix fan. So this would be a lateral
Starting point is 00:53:40 easy contracting, you know? The W9 is already in file. She doesn't even have to put there's no no paperwork they already have a voided check for her s corp like it's like yeah she's good she there i this is i think this is a great this gets to like what's like a good nancy meyers pit where like linda carlini is is beautiful right that's? She's a beautiful woman, very attractive, but not like on screen. I know what you're saying. I think it's more important.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Amanda Peete versus Lake Bell are both beautiful women, but Linda Carlini doesn't look like she would sleep with your husband or boyfriend or partner. You know what I mean? There's like a difference in an actor where you're like, if you're in a Nancy Meyers movie, I can't really think that you might sleep with my partner. I feel like. Unless the role calls for it. There's not a lot of smarmy characters in these movies.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Kara, I also really respect that you went for the adult child, which is an essential part of the Nancy Meyers universe. Not enough movies, I feel like, have adult children, but that is so part of the Nancy DNA. Yeah. I think what I said applies more to
Starting point is 00:54:59 the women characters in Nancy Meyers than the men, because the men characters, like Jack Nicholson would absolutely sleep with your partner. Well, yeah, he was initially trying to sleep with the daughter, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Yeah. And Alec Baldwin would too. But yeah, Linda Carlina is a great pick. That's fantastic. Thank you. Yeah. She rules.
Starting point is 00:55:19 All right. Time for my first pick. There's so many different ways to go with it all right i'm going to go since we've we've been i'm going to go with the young male love interest here like the the maybe not the one she ends up with should Should I even take this first? You know what? I think I can get him later. Nevermind. I'm going with the,
Starting point is 00:55:47 I'm going with the older male love interest. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to take someone who gets tossed out for, for a big role almost every time one comes around. But I think he would do fantastic. I'm putting Idris Elba. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:56:02 The romantic male lead. Number two on my list. Yep. Wow. Is he Brit? Is he British in this? Oh, he's British. He. Oh, my God. As the romantic male lead. Number two on my list, yeah. Wow. Is he British in this? Oh, he's British. He's full accent. Full Idris Elba.
Starting point is 00:56:11 He's not acting. We're just like, let Idris Elba be Idris Elba. He's out there. Give him the ball. Let him go to work. The man looks amazing in a suit. He's a vision to look at he's absolutely beautiful
Starting point is 00:56:26 he's got the accent he's charming throw that guy in like a sand colored tan suit and he's out here fucking getting buckets for you and like you know it's not he he is a great actor he's a really good actor but he doesn't have to do that much he's gonna have a he's gonna have like a vague job where he has a lot of money he he's just lifting the bar no weights on it right exactly he's just lifting the bar what's he doing in ohio i it's not really sure you know what i mean he's like he consults on a green he's a green he's an investor in a green energy company and he's checking in on some of his investments here in a windmill they're building near a wind farm
Starting point is 00:57:08 that they're building near Ojai and it's just Idris Elba being British being fucking beautiful yeah just like an occasional smolder he really doesn't have to do that much yeah a lot of heavy lifting and he's a little bit older now you know like Idris Elba he's a little bit
Starting point is 00:57:24 older he's got the salt and pepper yeah the great beard like stop it uh megan gailey i believe told me that she saw him at a hotel i think in between movies and he'd let himself get a little bit um you know free like he'd let his body out a little bit and that's not like a body shaving thing but i i would like that for the movie as well if i can amend your thing i don't want him to be super jacked no i want a comfy lived in idris elba yeah i want idris elba at the i mean my protagonist says i can't make them a baker we already have a baker but i want him at the bakery he's eating the croissant you know what i mean he's he's he's he's loving himself how old is he's got to be in his 50s i think he's probably 50 let's find out he gets a croissant you know what bro let me get another one yeah oh bruv he's 49 years old 49
Starting point is 00:58:16 years old yeah i want him i want he's 49 i want him playing 55 in this i want him aging up yeah yeah um so idris elba first pick you know why that's also a great pick the the love interest the older male love interest has to sort of make the female lead feel cool like she feels cool for being with him and he's really cool you know what i should make him actually he is very cool as revenge for Jack Nicholson being a hip-hop music executive, Idris Elba owns one of Nashville's coolest... He owns one of Nashville's coolest record labels. God, that's funny. So that's my male lead.
Starting point is 00:59:01 And now female lead is so... I mean, it's so important. It is, there are a good amount of people who can do it. But I think, I mean, if you really want someone to go put up like MVP numbers, it's someone who we don't see in movies enough anymore. It's someone who is a god of the form of the romantic comedy a god and i feel like i like this could either go so right that none of us can believe it or the two powers could be too much and it could end the world but i'm putting julia roberts in the female lead of my nancy myers movie of course baby did you look at my list?
Starting point is 00:59:46 No. Did you have Julia Roberts on there? I had Julia Roberts. You got to put Julia Roberts in there. She's a rom-com god. A rom-com god. I mean, she like. She started with Mystic Pizza.
Starting point is 00:59:58 It's like a teenage rom-com. I mean, she's been doing them forever. Our cats are being crazy over here. America's Sweethearts. She's all over the place. I mean, Not's been doing them forever. Our cats are being crazy over here. America's Sweethearts. She's all over the place. I mean, Notting Hill. Yeah. The moment in Pretty Woman where she so naturally laughs because Richard Gere closed the thing on her hand.
Starting point is 01:00:16 That's real. Pure charm. Pure charm. Yeah, it's real. She didn't know it was going to snap shut. So it's like a real laugh. It's fun. She is,
Starting point is 01:00:25 she is waiting. She's just been like in a hyperbaric chamber waiting to come to walk out and be swathed in calf pants and linens and all that stuff and walk along a beach and be windswept. Her Lancome ads are like halfway there. Like she's like dying for a cowl neck. Like, yes. She's auditioning for it.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Her life right now is like, put me in a fucking Nancy Meyers movie. Give her a chunky necklace and you're there. Oh my God. A chunky, some rings. You know what I mean? Yeah. What's her job in your movie?
Starting point is 01:01:00 I'm not a hundred percent sure yet. What's a chunky necklace? Just like a big old necklace? A big necklace with like, you know, not fine chain. Like giant beads? Like a big ass, like huge stones. Like, yeah. Watch The Real Housewives of New York and look at a character named Luanne de Lesseps,
Starting point is 01:01:17 and that's a chunky necklace. There's a chunky necklace. A statement necklace, as they say. Sure. I think she owns like a very, very upscale land oh no like landscape design isn't quite right like topiaries and stuff like that i have but like that is it if you have like like she's a cute she curates rich people's backyard i think she curates rich people's backyards but she herself is also a rich person oh yeah she owns the company she's
Starting point is 01:01:47 amazing she owns that company i think she like for for like for all of like santa barbara montecito oh she lives in ohio this is happening in ohio she started doing oprah's backyard and then everybody just got found out that's exactly right she. She's on magazine covers like Better Homes and Gardens. Architectural Digest. She's done all this, you know, and like the one plant she hasn't been able to get to flourish is her love life. And then Idris Elba
Starting point is 01:02:16 shows up, you know what I mean? And again, a sand suit, just looking beautiful. And those are my two leads, Idris Elba and Julia Roberts. I'd watch that movie. I'd watch the hell out of that movie. They could fucking call it anything. They could call it the bank vault. They could call it fuck Sean Jordan.
Starting point is 01:02:31 I'd be like, that's my best friend, but I'm still there the first day. I carry time for your second pick. Oh God, it's back to me? Oh my God. Okay. I'm going on the cob. I want to throw somebody out here for the older male love interest who because okay listen this is not a movie star but this is a person who is very well
Starting point is 01:02:59 known and makes a lot of women very horny and I, and can do comedy very well. And I think this could be his shot into more of the movie world. He's done movies, but I wouldn't say that's what he's known for. I like it. Christopher Maloney. Oh, an organized.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Okay. Now listen, I'm not just doing this as a tie into my podcast. And because I fucking watched hours and hours of this man every week you love the guy he had a summer of sex last year his ass was all over the internet people are obsessed with his ass he's 60 years old and like can fully just like has a body of like a 30 year old i mean he's so jacked and i could see him honestly as maybe I guess it would be if yeah like he's not he's more like the Steve Martin character and it's complicated he's successful but he's not as successful as the lead you know he's got to be a little bit lower like and um I don't know I just
Starting point is 01:04:00 think he can play really subtle and funny and just like a hot guy to look at. That is, that's a great pick. He has to, whatever his job is, he has to work with his hands. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:04:11 He's one of those, like you want him like, like, I don't know who's going to fix my fence before the big party. And he's like, I got it. And he comes over and it's like, has like a full,
Starting point is 01:04:21 you know, I think he gets a, a Brad Pitt on the roof. Sorry to say a uh brad pitt on the roof sorry to say pics but like brad pitt on the roof in in once upon a time in hollywood takes off his shirt moment where people are like oh shit he has he has a great nancy meyers lead body because it's great it's great but he is he's also 60 61 or something yeah and he looks like it you're like oh yeah that's like an amazing body but he's not like he doesn't have some insane like impossible body
Starting point is 01:04:51 yeah it's impossible if you're 60 I would love to look like Chris Maloney right now but like yeah it's obtainable it's also it's comfortable while being incredibly buff he's also charming I think that's a great i think like yeah he should have another horny moment he needs another horny moment christmas yeah and i i just think like so many if you also want to bring yeah like these movies are pretty mainstream and he's just like a mainstream hunk for like a lot of people all over the country you know he's a hunk yeah and he can it's not like you can't
Starting point is 01:05:27 i didn't i didn't know who he was and i apologize but like you know well after you when you first started talking i was like oh is it gonna be like somebody who's never active but no of course he's he's got to be a great actor honestly i'm watching him on oc which is like an organ it's the organized crime uh spinoff of law & Order. And he carries it. I mean, he carries it. And it's a very, it's kind of like a Narcos type show. It's not like the other Law & Order shows where they're all like sort of capsule episodes. Yeah. And he can carry this series where he goes undercover.
Starting point is 01:05:55 He's embedded with the Armenian mob. You know what I mean? Like, I could just see it. The tough guy, but like with a soft side kind of lead. You know, I also have to say it's a great pick because he can be like wet, hot American summer. He can be really funny.
Starting point is 01:06:12 He's so funny. He's kind of, he's someone who's been almost a victim of his own television success where he like is so good on these. He's like, he's also, I mean, maybe other than Julie Roberts,
Starting point is 01:06:24 maybe the most famous person, like in a weird way that we've picked so far where like the most people would know who he is right except for sean except for sean but just because like so many people watch law and order where it's like you forget like he's maybe not a movie star but he might be the like the most eyes have been on him kind of thing was also in Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. Yes, he's my husband. He's been in a rom-com with opposite big leading ladies. I think he could do it.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Tight. Taking a ride on the Maloney Pony. Excellent. Sean Jordan. I'm going to have two male leads. One's good, one's bad. There you go this is gonna be the good guy the the better you gotta have to help me at the end like i mean my my version of him is like he's he's the decent guy ends up being the good guy yeah uh ben and rom
Starting point is 01:07:16 comes he's also in arguably one of my one of my favorite action franchises. Older Gentleman, Colin Firth. Oh, Firth, dude. Love a Firth. I'll be honest. I didn't love the King's Speech, but he in the King's Speech just charmed me to death. That was the first time that I really remember
Starting point is 01:07:38 giving a shit about Colin Firth and Love Actually, obviously. Love Actually, yeah. If you're not Firth, you're last. Yeah, dude. He sold me... Damn. Get it.
Starting point is 01:07:48 He sold me in an action franchise where you're like, no way. That's my thing, I say. And she took it. That's my thing, I say. It's all right, dude. If you're not Diane von Furstenberg, you're Diane von Lastenberg.
Starting point is 01:08:01 So it's all right. I got another... Well, second place is the first loser if you know what i mean yeah he uh him and the kingsman though i went in skeptical and ian carmel can get my back on this that's easily one of my favorite movies you went skeptical you came out with uh spectacles dude because you could see clearly with a colin firth tattoo on my back dude that guy knows what time it is that's why he wears a clock so you know what time it is colin firth is out here great nancy meyer's pick yeah i um and he well i'll i'll tie it together
Starting point is 01:08:31 but yeah just uh in general colin firth love him he's gonna fit the role is he playing british or do you have him doing an american accent he's british yeah yeah everyone's everyone's true to form who i'm gonna pick yeah just you know because to pick. I think people are traveling enough in this universe where money is not a huge issue. Money's not an issue for anyone in a Nancy Meyers movie. You don't have to be like, well, how did he get here? How did you get there?
Starting point is 01:08:55 It doesn't matter. He's flying every weekend. You're flying every weekend. Who gives a fuck? You have a summer place in London. I don't know. There's a scene at the end of The Parent Trap where the British people, or maybe the dad and one of the There's a scene at the end of The Parent Trap where the British people,
Starting point is 01:09:05 or maybe the dad, the dad and one of the twins, they separate at the end, but then they come to London to surprise them and they beat them there. And they're like, how did you get here? And they're like, we took the Concorde. They bought same day Concorde jet, probably first class tickets, is how little money is an object in this universe. Which is, you know, it's so easy to pick things apart when it's one of the hard parts for me to stomach about critics is like, it's so easy to pick things apart and be like, well, where do they get this money? I don't give a shit.
Starting point is 01:09:36 It's wish fulfillment. I'm watching these movies because I don't care. Oh, especially Nancy Meyer. It's like aspirational on steroids. Yeah. I'm not missing dinner. So what do I care how much money they have? It's like aspirational. Yeah. On steroids. Yeah. I'm not missing dinner. So what do I care how much money they have? It's fine.
Starting point is 01:09:48 I just want to live in this world for a minute. They own a box site. Mine. They never talk about it there. It's wrapped up. Yeah. They got family, my Bitcoin.
Starting point is 01:09:57 I don't care. They're doing fine. Anyway, Colin, great pick. Dana, you'll, you'll defend Colin Firth as a,
Starting point is 01:10:03 as a sexy romantic lead, right? Hasn't he's been in pride and prejudice. Yeah Great pick. Dana, you'll defend Colin Firth as a sexy romantic lead, right? Hasn't he's been in... Oh, Pride and Prejudice. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's so cute. Like, Bridget Jones' Diary. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:13 If you're talking about the decent guy and the bad guy, that's like the ultimate, right? Yeah. With Hugh Grant? Yeah, absolutely. Coming out of a lake, right? He came out of a lake in Pride and Prejudice? There was also a lake in Love Actually when his books spilled into the lake.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Oh, yeah, they have to go into the water. And he learns Portuguese for the woman that he loves. It's so cute! He's so charming. I wish you could switch. There's just the one storyline in Love Actually that sucks, but the rest of it is pretty... Which one do you hate?
Starting point is 01:10:42 The one about the prime minister's secretary, how she's big. big i like that one it just bothers me where they're like they'd no it's wait i have to i have to add some context to that the actress who uh they always are like oh with the big thighs she was like a british star either like a pop i think a pop star and they were kind of making fun of i think it tongue in cheek it's like the tabloids at the time we're really digging into her for being too fat so i think i think the context was in on the joke was like they were all like making fun of the the cultural thing we're calling her fat i thought that makes me feel much better sweet chemistry like i like really love their little thing and I wanted them to end up together.
Starting point is 01:11:26 I loved it. When I watched that with Laura, she has a problem with how the Walking Dead dude was trying to get with his best friend's girl, but I'm like, that shit happens. She has a problem with the infidelity storyline. Again, I'm not condoning it, but that shit happens.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Those are, I think, all good factors for a movie like that because it makes you feel tons of different emotions yeah good and bad and at the end of the movie you're not you don't it's one of those rom-coms where you don't feel amazing you just you're like okay things things work out life can be good life can be bad but ultimately if you are a good person you will do all right my least favorite storyline is the british boys coming to wisconsin oh yeah january jones there's a sioux falls girl in that scene so i can't say anything bad about it jan jones january jones sioux falls south dakota born and raised yuck zilla dude we're
Starting point is 01:12:17 out here making moves yeah i enjoy every i enjoy i've only seen the movie once it might be time for another rewatch fucking bonkers to me one time america needed it to heal from 9-11 that movie i love love actually so much i'm an i'm an apologist to the death i love that movie i'm with you we might watch it today it might get thrown on right after this. Colin Firth, excellent pick. Dana Schwartz, time for your second and third picks. All right, great pick on Colin Firth. So I've established in this universe, Chris Pine is a young literature professor, English lit professor at some university. And he's a big fan of this older, acclaimed novelist, Emma Thompson.
Starting point is 01:13:05 Oh! Female love Thompson. Oh! My female love interest. Oh, my God! What happened? Yeah, she's... What a blind spot. How could I have not picked that? She's...
Starting point is 01:13:12 If we're in the Love Actually universe, I mean, Love Actually is every charming British actor. She is an incredibly successful, divorced... Was Sean so upset that I took Emma Thompson that he just left? He left. He might have just taken off. divorced. Was Sean so upset that I took Emma Thompson that he just left? He might have just taken off. She is an older, divorced novelist, acclaimed. I think she maybe was shortlisted for the Nobel Prize or Pulitzer Prize, incredibly successful. She's speaking at this university and she's sort of skeptical that, you know, Chris Pine, the young professor, is as,
Starting point is 01:13:48 well, she assumes that he just likes her because of, you know, her novels. Yeah. But really, he's really interested in her as a novelist and as a woman. Ooh. Has it been a while since she's had a big novel? I think, yeah, it's been a while,
Starting point is 01:14:02 but she's still sort of, she thinks like maybe no one even needs me again. But over the course of this movie, she's gonna have a new novel come out. Pardon me, my internet froze. Who was the pick? Emma Thompson as my leading lady. I cannot believe I didn't pick
Starting point is 01:14:18 this. Playboy. She's a divorced, famous novelist and critically acclaimed, beloved, successful, can afford all the cashmere she wants chris pine is the professor who teaches an entire class on her uh-huh she's been through it too yeah with with all canny brana she's been through she's been through the ringer she's experienced it so she can play she can play that sort of post divorce post heartbreak she she can tap into her real life and sort of like call upon that energy
Starting point is 01:14:51 and i think kara for my for my next pick in the round i think kara's nailed it with the thought that the the adult daughter is a really important part of this emma th is British, but she lives in America. Her daughter was born and raised in America, which I think by the laws of the Nancy Meyers universe you're allowed to do. This is an actress who I think is great and has been wildly misused.
Starting point is 01:15:18 No one has understood what to do with this actress. Jennifer Lawrence. There you go. A very funny funny very charming actress who i think has been put in like weird dramas in a way that doesn't suit her i think get her back to basics have her be the charming daughter in a nancy myers movie yeah sure i got i buy that big time sure she i mean know, you think about Silver Linings Playbook
Starting point is 01:15:46 and she was fantastic, but it was like a bit dramatic. Yeah. What else were like her, her like, you know, Well, like Joy, I always feel like that movie Joy was way too old of a role
Starting point is 01:15:55 for her to play. Yeah. And like, there's just, she's been in a lot of stuff where it's like, or like Mother! Yeah. She's like literally
Starting point is 01:16:03 30 years old and I feel like she's been playing 35 year old divorcees her entire career. What was it like Winter's Bone? She was a teenager and it was such a serious role. That was her big break, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:16 Which was a great movie, but gnarly. She's really good in The Hunger Games. Like I do think she's just, she's good. Yeah. I think have her, let her have fun see what see what that's like for her to play young and for her to have fun yeah like lucy goosey like a girl who's like a successful advertising executive or she's like a fucking she's a manager or something and very like successful and wears nice clothes and yeah maybe she's just like fucking tons of guys and doesn't
Starting point is 01:16:46 care you know like yeah emma thompson's a little controlling and she's like mom yeah i got it she it's almost like the curse of the winning the oscar so yeah yeah for for like jennifer but within it like would like this is the kind of movie we'd all love to see her in but she would like would be like is that a step down should i not take a role like that kind of thing because she's so like now the next one has to be like oscar caliber the next one has to be oscar caliber right is that like why she probably why she keeps working with david o russell over and over again and also like i mean don't look up was just not in my opinion good uh it was tough It was tough. It felt rushed where you're like, I don't know. I just wanted to like it.
Starting point is 01:17:27 I really hope, I think my perfect use of Jennifer Lawrence is just being charming, having fun in a Nancy Meyers movie. I wonder if she doesn't make moves like that in real life. I know this is fantasy, obviously, but I wonder if she doesn't make moves like that because she's worried she'll get stuck there or
Starting point is 01:17:43 something. She'll be so good at it. She'll get stuck. Yeah. And she's like, then I'll never win an Oscar again. I'll just be in these like rom-coms forever. I hope she realizes that with Meryl, you can be a great actress and also have fun in a Nancy Meyers movie. What I want for Jennifer is to sort of resurrect her career. I mean, not that she needs my advice, but to realize that sometimes taking the foot off the gas
Starting point is 01:18:07 can be a gift. Yeah. I think with J-Law, because she got stuck in the Hunger Games, which you can't really bail on such a successful franchise. She was also in X-Men, which aren't amazing, but they're blockbusters. And she was like a main character in both.
Starting point is 01:18:23 Like they needed her. So she was in like, what, probably 10 of those movies altogether. And that's a decade of your life, I'm sure. It's her 20s, her whole 20s. She probably hasn't had a ton of time. So I bet you she does dive into some, I don't know, some more fun,
Starting point is 01:18:39 hopefully rom-com-y stuff. She's great. I could see her as Emma Thompson's adult American daughter. Yeah, absolutely. It'd be fun to get a script uh and we have you playing emma thompson's adult american daughter and you're like well she's 30 emma thompson is 60 the ages work yeah yeah yeah yeah it kind of works perfectly though that's my that's my that's my core of the movie jay-Law. That's a great three-hander already. Sean Jordan.
Starting point is 01:19:07 So now other male lead. He's going to be the bad guy, but he can also be charming. I like him, but he looks kind of mean unless he's being charming, but I think he'd be good. I'm going to pick Sean Bean.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Ah. Sean Bean. I'm picking Sean Bean Sean Bean. Ah. Sean Bean. Sean Bean, Ned Stark. He's charming as Ned Stark. But in like a lot of movies, he's a villain. He hasn't really got to be in a rom-com. And I think he would be good. Carrie, you do not.
Starting point is 01:19:38 I just had to Google him to make sure it was the right guy. He's Ned Stark. Yeah, no, Ned Stark. Yeah. I mean, you're saying so you were setting up earlier a little bit of like a good guy bad guy dichotomy so you're saying he's kind of like the sinister guy a little bit so yeah rashida jones and like well you know but so she her two love interests in the movie are going to be colin firth and sean bean she i didn't
Starting point is 01:20:02 even think about this but i'm assuming she had to hop across the pond for work at some point. Tie it in when I get to the rest of the characters. A lot of British people also live in the US. Yeah. I would just like, they're both British, so I'm guessing that she was over there for a minute instead of happenstance meeting two Brits over here. Anyway, yeah, I think
Starting point is 01:20:20 those two are, they're older dudes. They're both charming. Both fit the role attractive. They're not shredded or anything. They're both charming. Both fit the role attractive. They're not shredded or anything. They're just normal, hot old guys. But Sean Bean looks kind of evil. He can be charming. Colin Firth looks very charming, but can be, could be smarmy.
Starting point is 01:20:40 He's not in this movie, but he could do it if he had to. He would just do it in a charming way, like one of rich british dirty dirty fellas so uh yeah i like sean bean i'd like to see him get a chance like an older guy in a in a rom-com i think he'd be great and i honestly think he'd be a good good guy but in this he's kind of the dickhead that's fun fun dick thank you yeah yeah all right sean bean dude sean bean i just and you know got a ride for the Seans. Of course. Sean won. Yeah, is he Scottish? He might be Scottish. Has he done,
Starting point is 01:21:11 has he done any romantic roles before? You know, not, he's like, he's, I know he's been the villain, like the terrorist in a couple movies where they're like, why would you blow up all these innocent people on the plane? He's like, well, you have to send a message.
Starting point is 01:21:20 I don't know, I don't know what. But in a romantic way, he did it. Yeah, it was pretty charming when he did it. again with him i think like um you know lord of the rings like took well quite a bit of time i think for his like his acting career and then um game of thrones i don't know if he was even on game of thrones all that much one season but and i don't really know what else he's done. I haven't really probably a lot of, as I'm looking, it's been a lot of TV, I think.
Starting point is 01:21:49 I mean, national treasure. Honestly, when I just went to go check where he's from, that he's British, and he has been married five times and divorced four times, so he's ready for the rom-com, baby. Yeah, he is. Yeah, dude. It sounds like his love life is a Game of thrones am i right
Starting point is 01:22:05 hey hey uh what are we doing over here nobody ever wins uh all fantasy everything but you're the first person you just won all fantasy everything now we can't do any more episodes sorry uh no what you've won is your next pick oh my god okay pick. All right. Here is my pick for leading lady. I would like it to be a funny person who can also play serious. And this actress had a great turn in a movie that was serious, but I don't think it got enough attention. And I, so my pick is julia louis
Starting point is 01:22:46 dreyfus oh because i know that she is one of the funniest actresses of all time i think elaine is one like in the top five funniest characters of all time and i think that she was in this movie called enough said with james candelfini That was beautiful. And I loved it. The year it came out, it was, I think, I believe it was his last movie or one of his last movies. And they had such a sweet chemistry.
Starting point is 01:23:12 And it was like that later in life, like the awkwardness of going through dating and trying to find someone. And I know there's only like a, there's only like a 15 year age difference between her and Linda Cardellini, but I think we can age Linda Cardellini down a little bit. She had her young or, you know,
Starting point is 01:23:28 something. Yeah. So I, and I kind of buy them as mother daughter. And I think that she could have a really fun thing with Christopher Maloney. That's my, this is my universe.
Starting point is 01:23:40 That's how that's a great pet. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. And you, you could age her up a little bit. Yeah. You can make that work a great pick that's yeah excellent yeah and you you could age her up a little bit yeah yeah you could make that work yeah she's ageless but she could be like i'm 65 you know like you know also people have kids at that age yeah yeah yeah and when somebody looks
Starting point is 01:23:57 the way she does like she looks like she's 25 or 30 or whatever so you could be like or she's 70 who gives a shit you know it's fine it she i i think that's such a great point she was so good in that movie and then i think immediately got like sucked up into v plan which i mean of course go do that but like yeah she can like pull out she can do romantic she's that's how talented she is yeah she can like shift into that and you're like okay now i'm watching el watching Elaine I guess have and take her seriously in a relationship kind of thing. And she can sell that. I think Christopher Maloney was in Veep, actually.
Starting point is 01:24:35 He was. You're just tying it all together. Did they have a thing in Veep together? I don't remember. I buy that couple. He played her trainer. He was her personal trainer. He was so
Starting point is 01:24:50 funny in that. I would also like to see Queen of the Wasps Nancy Meyers take on a... Is Julie Louis drives a Jewish? I don't think so. She's not, but she plays very... She presents as very like jewy comedy wise i say as a jew partly jewish descent okay yeah i just like that it's a brunette
Starting point is 01:25:17 it's like someone who's like a little bit different than the like uh you know meryl street like the blonde yeah you know waspy thing it Streep, like the blonde. Yeah. You know, waspy thing. It's less of a direct avatar, which is what she's used to kind of like doing. I think that's great. Thank you guys. What's also great about her is because she, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, has inherited family billion dollar wealth. Yes. She's at home in the luxury surroundings of a Nancy Meyers movie.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Literally a Nancy Meyers mansion is probably like a guest house in the Dreyfus family. In the Louis Dreyfus family. Absolutely. That's such a good pick. I wonder what she will do next. Something dope, dude. Something dope.
Starting point is 01:25:59 Expert analysis. I've got a really good one for my next one. Time for my third and fourth picks. I'm going i'm gonna go now this is where i have to remind everybody this is fantasy like so this is i don't know that this person would do this but netflix netflix has a big bag they have a big big bag of money and what I'm hoping is this, this actor who I'm about to take has had such a run of success that they can kind of do anything they want,
Starting point is 01:26:31 including dropping in for a supporting role in a Nancy Meyers movie and then dropping back out. It's just them going to Ojai for like a week of shooting and then pulling the parachute and bailing and they're gone as the best friend I'm taking Olivia Colman I think she would do it
Starting point is 01:26:54 I think she might do it right that's a great pick I'm a shithead I don't know who that is you don't know Olivia Colman? Academy Award winner she won the Oscar for the favorite British show. Oh, I just looked her up. Yeah, I know who that is. And she's in The Crine, she played
Starting point is 01:27:10 the Queen, she was in The Lost Daughter this year. She's done like a lot of dramatic roles lately, but she comes from sketch comedy. Yeah, she's from Creepshow, right? Yeah. Peepshow and Mitchell and Love. Peepshow, not Creepshow. Totally different thing, I think. She might have been in a Creepshow. No, Peepshow and Michelin web. Peep show, not creep show. Totally different thing, I think.
Starting point is 01:27:26 She might have been in a creep show. Peep show, yeah. I would love that. She'd have all these sassy British comebacks. Yes. She would look great in the Nancy Meyers wardrobe. She would pull that off perfectly. She'd come in.
Starting point is 01:27:42 She'd be like a player off the bench coming in and just hitting nine threes like grabbing eight rebounds. Just like, holy shit. Like just dropping bond moths. That's a great pull. I can, a scarf, a giant scarf. She looks, she could wear what she wore in The Lost Daughter. She could bring that exact wardrobe over and like wear it in this movie.
Starting point is 01:28:06 And I do like, obviously she's's a she's a best actress winner she's someone who is nominated again this year i think right she's like a phenomenal actor who can who's doing a lot of serious roles but i think she would she'd be like nancy myers wants me to yeah i'll go do a nancy myers movie for two weeks her amazing supporting role in Fleabag Oh yeah of course. She plays this hilarious character in Fleabag where she's like the stepmother who's such a bitch and is like
Starting point is 01:28:34 perfect you know. So funny So fantastic. Give her a huge glass of white wine. I love this. Wrap a scarf around her. Let her sit out on a patio with some of the most beautiful landscaping you've ever seen around it. I want to see where they drink a little bit too much
Starting point is 01:28:49 like white wine. Yeah, and they're just laughing and like a Motown song comes on and she lip syncs to it. She's in Wonka. She's in the new Wonka coming out. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. That'll be tight. With old Timmy.
Starting point is 01:29:05 Yeah, with old Timmy. With old Timmy. So, I have my male lead. I have my female lead. I have my best friend. These are all important roles. Let me, give me one. So, just this morning, I was going to say, hey, Google, play something.
Starting point is 01:29:20 But I stood up and I go, hey, Google. And I didn't mean to do it. I wasn't kidding. And I was like, Jesus Christ, how'd that happen? and I go, hey, Google, and I didn't mean to do it. I wasn't kidding. And I was like, Jesus Christ, how'd that happen? Anyway, continue. Hey, Google. Yeah. Sup, Goog? Hey, Google.
Starting point is 01:29:35 That's a great pick. God, you can't really cast everyone you want. This should almost be a six-round draft to fill all the major. I'm going to upset everybody with my next two picks. I know it. I already am kind of upset that your first pick was rashida jones i know everybody was upset so she's a fifth choice i got a few i got some traction with my second two so now the world's gonna fucking blow up on my on my last two you i i don't know where this woman is sliding in
Starting point is 01:29:59 but i know that in a in a uh in a movie like, you have to have the hot young girl. The Lake Bell. The Lake Bell, who makes your main female protagonist feel a little bit. I mean, you don't have to. This isn't in every Nancy Meyers movie. But in this one, who sort of contrasts the age difference, who makes the female lead feel a certain way about herself. That makes you think that even though, oh, I'm objectively looking at Meryl Streep, I'm looking at Diane Keaton, I'm looking at an objectively beautiful
Starting point is 01:30:32 person. So we need the audience to highlight why this person might feel less than confident about themselves by introducing this other character. So as the young, as sort of the young ingenuity sort of like female character who comes in and maybe like maybe tries like to attract Idris
Starting point is 01:30:54 Elba's eye that kind of thing or maybe whatever other male lead I introduce later it's it's gonna be Zoe Kravitz perfect so so beautiful it's like insane so So beautiful. It's like insane. So insanely beautiful and also very like in Ojai,
Starting point is 01:31:10 very like... She's like a yoga teacher. Yes, she's a yoga teacher in Ojai. That's what she was. It's the role, I know Ian hasn't seen this, but it's sort of a slightly heightened comedic version of the role
Starting point is 01:31:21 she plays in Big Little Lies, which is the yoga teacher who's the main character's ex-hus lies, which is the yoga teacher. Who's the main characters, ex-husbands, new young wife. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:29 I haven't seen that, but that exactly more comedic and less like going on a run and thinking about suicide. Yeah. Right. Yeah. No suit. It never crosses,
Starting point is 01:31:38 never crosses her mind. All she's thinking about is like, is, is sound baths and, and yoga retreats and like and she definitely has some parts where she's like you really shouldn't eat that that's really not you know like well she's the white wine she's like there's actually a lot of toxins yeah she only drinks orange natural wine yeah yeah like that she's pretty quick to tell you what to do with your children that kind of person absolutely Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:05 But again, just like ethereally beautiful, wearing great jewelry, you know, like in the creams, in the Nancy Meyers color palette, just there making Julie Roberts question whether or not Idris Elba would ever want to be with her because right here is Zoe Kravitz. Yeah. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by
Starting point is 01:32:28 Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there, but this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, alright? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon
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Starting point is 01:34:20 they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dotcom slash all fantasy spelled B a B B E L.com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply. Care time for your fourth pick. My fourth pick is for best friend,
Starting point is 01:34:56 Wanda Sykes. Oh, yeah. Julia Louis Dreyfus, Wanda Sykes, best friends. I like that. Wait,
Starting point is 01:35:08 what's Julia? What's Wanda Sykes on The New Adventures of Old Christine? I don't know. I never saw that. Oh my God, I think she was. I think I just picked her best friend from a show that they were on together. I mean, that's great. People love her reunion. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:18 Yeah, absolutely. I really just wanted it to be like, yep, it is. I think that they're best friends on that show. Sorry. Perfect. really just wanted it to be like, yep, it is. I think that they're best friends on that show. Sorry, but I want somebody in the Nancy Meyers universe who can pull off the look and be like, Wanda Sykes plays rich characters all the time. Like she's on blackish right now as like a boss and, you know,
Starting point is 01:35:37 curb. She plays herself on curb being like a rich lady. Yeah. And she, I just think would be super, you know, I just think she's so funny and, you know i just think she's so funny and you know especially if you get her in a scene where like if i don't if maloney's fucking around like if
Starting point is 01:35:52 the love interest is like kind of fucking up in the second act he shows up and wanda sykes is there and just sort of reads him the right kind of thing and i'll you know yeah one of those moments totally just one of the larry like one of those moments where she's just like, she's great. Fuck. I love Wanda Sykes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. In the Oscars, just absolutely killed it. She was so funny on the Oscars, too, in a couple of places where she was like flubbing or you could tell she was reading. She was just like,
Starting point is 01:36:17 what even is this? People get slapped. She just didn't even, she played, everything seems like it's like going with the flow with her. I was that, uh, JFL 42 one, the just for laughs 42 festival,
Starting point is 01:36:30 which is in Toronto where, and they like kept me for an extra week just to MC all the huge headliner shows that were at this big venue. Uh, so it was like Seth Meyers and, uh, I forget who at Wanda Sykes was one of them, was one of the comedians. And she had the best green room food spread I'd ever seen, like ever.
Starting point is 01:36:53 Like most people had just like a few bottles of water and then like whatever food. She was clearly someone who was like, no, they're going to give me whatever I want. So I'm going to ask for everything. There were like nachos, quesadillas, chicken fingers, buffalo wings, and then also like a ton of healthy stuff, like all this food. And she was like, she had a little bit of it. And then like, it was like, she was like, made it available to like everyone who was working there.
Starting point is 01:37:20 So she like had hers and then was like, now everyone who's working at the venue. So like security people and like door guys and ushers and me and like all those people then like got to descend on the food and like take whatever we want so she just like did it as a reason to like food feed everyone who was like there that's amazing I really love knowing that Wanda Sykes
Starting point is 01:37:37 eats with you know joy yeah whatever the fuck Wanda Sykes wants to eat yeah what a great pick. She would be fantastic. Sean Jordan, time for your fourth pick. No. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:51 No, yeah. No, it's me. Oh. Yeah, sure. Wait. Oh, yeah, Sean. Then me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:57 Sorry. You get the back to back. Do you think Sean's going to take someone you might want to pick based on Sean's draft so far? Absolutely not. I'm not worried at all. No, you shouldn't be. Boy, I doubt that this made it in. And I just changed it. It was going to be someone different. But then I realized this. It's the doctor. I realized the doctor needs to be female for my movie. It'd be rude if they were male. But I do. I want to tell you.
Starting point is 01:38:20 Doctors can be women now. Yeah, well, it's great. I know. Since 2009. The world is, you know, it's going, well, since 2012 in South Dakota, but yeah, 2009 everywhere else. This doctor is, she's very funny. She's great. She's been in a few rom-coms. She's a musician, started as a musician, but she's fantastic. I love her. In the movie, she's a serious doctor, but also lighthearted, tells it like it is.
Starting point is 01:38:43 Queen Latifah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah. Fun! Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think there's room for one person in the movie who's like, Tarantino does it a lot, too. Where he'll put someone in where you're like, whoa, what are they doing in there?
Starting point is 01:38:56 And they always do a good job. Yeah. So I feel like if you surround Queen Law with everybody in this universe, then she will operate at that level. Well, and she didn't do the holiday, but she did last holiday. Yeah, she's holiday adjacent. She lives on the same street. I think Queen Latifah is less of an odd fit
Starting point is 01:39:19 than you might think. I think she fits hand and glove in the Nancy Meyers universe. Yeah, I do too. She's older.'s like established and you could it's a thing is like you you throw in you to me anyways you get the one like keanu reeves type where you're like huh so to me i guess that's you get the comfortable and wealth too because she's a queen since day one she's been like what a dope way to do it she's a queen she's going to be queen you're gonna bring the monarchy in yeah she was a queen yeah but it's not like it's not like just a name
Starting point is 01:39:50 where like little john's probably not that little he's probably like five eight you know what i mean like it's the kind of thing where she like is queen latifah but also like she really has always carried herself like a queen like in this just very ever since juice man yeah very day and yeah and you know she's got the chops yeah she fucking yep so yeah she's the doctor she's playing a doctor all right after your next pick i want to i want you to paint this picture for us yeah i think so uh it's like it's really just based on what we bet what i've been doing in the last like two years it's just a version of that so yeah but yes queen latifah dana schwartz it's time for your fourth and then your final pick this is so hard because as you said like this
Starting point is 01:40:29 feels like we need more people like there are roles in this movie that i'm not going to be able to cast yeah i feel like we should be allowed to have like a little sneak six pick i think we get a sneaky six pick that we just toss out and don't talk about yeah so at the end of this can i say one more role like we'll do it at the very end okay uh just to fill out the end of this, can I say one more role? We'll do it at the very end. Okay. Just to fill out the roles of this movie. So we already have Chris Pine as the professor, Emma Thompson as the distinguished, famous author, Jennifer Lawrence as her sassy daughter, Emma Thompson's American ex-husband.
Starting point is 01:40:57 Oh, yeah. They're divorced. He is a Hollywood producer who they met because he produced one of her books as a movie, but they're divorced it was a hit movie but she's you know he's a little slimy kevin bacon oh kevin bacon bacon when you add just a little a few bacon bits to your movie and you're kind of a few bacon bits sprinkle them on and he's kind of villainous, can play a little slimy.
Starting point is 01:41:25 He's the right age, but he's really funny when he tries to be funny. He did Crazy Stupid Love. He was slimy. He was, you know, he came in, he snuck in, David Lynn Hogan. I think he's perfect. Yeah. He's slimy, but you're like, you could see someone going for him for sure. He's very charming.
Starting point is 01:41:40 The charming, the Hollywood producer who produced Emma Thompson's book into the movie. They got divorced. They have Jennifer Lawrence together. They're co-pairs. He has huge pulling up wearing sunglasses and a convertible energy too. Yeah. I like Kevin Bacon, man. You don't hate him.
Starting point is 01:41:55 You kind of love him. But you see why they're divorced. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You're like, okay. And then my last pick. This is not the biggest character in the movie. So I have to do this because I want to talk about him.
Starting point is 01:42:06 I am going to sneak in my sixth pick later for the best friend. Chris Pine is a professor. He has a grad student. You need like a young sort of comic relief character in there. His comic relief lit PhD grad student is a little comedian. I think sometimes you need a comedian in a big movie.
Starting point is 01:42:26 Yeah. Ian Carmel. Oh, no. Yes. I'm right here for it. Has Ian been chosen before for anything on this podcast? Yeah. I chose him for...
Starting point is 01:42:40 Yeah, continue. He's playing the Adam Devine in the intern role. He's playing the John Krasinski as the son-in-law absolutely just get a little soups on ian carmellan you were throwing a perfect game up until this point he's the handsomest the handsomest and most charming actor in the world i think very funny beautiful i'm glad I was here to witness this. Hey, I'm so glad that would be for me because I get to come to this premiere. Oh, that's true. Now you get to go to a Nancy Meyers premiere.
Starting point is 01:43:12 It's a selfish one. Now we're our household in the Nancy Meyers fold. Yeah, true. We could have her over for dinner and just notice what she disapproves of non-verbally and then fix it in our house. Just have like an interior designer. I think it would be great for the movie because I think you're really funny.
Starting point is 01:43:28 I think you'd be kind of funny as like a bumbling grad student. But how great for me and us that we're now in this fold. All right. It's a good pick. And then just the sixth pick just to sprinkle in. Wait until the whole
Starting point is 01:43:43 thing's over because you might take someone else's. I bet you could have gotten Ian Carmel on that sixth spot, but I'm very flattered. I wanted to marinate in it. Thank you very much. I love it.
Starting point is 01:43:53 I love it. I need to be in two scenes max. Sean Jordan, time for your final pick. I'm off the board. Need a daughter, about a 20-year-old daughter to kind of fit my storyline.
Starting point is 01:44:03 So about a 20-year-old daughter and I like her. I've really been enjoying her lately. The new Spider-Man, she killed it in. I need a daughter, about a 20-year-old daughter to kind of fit my storyline. So about a 20-year-old daughter. And I like her. I've really been enjoying her lately. The new Spider-Man she killed it in. I'm picking Zendaya for the 20-year-old daughter. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:18 And I have a six pick, so I won't pick it yet. But I could give you the plot real quick if you'd like. So Zendaya is Rashida Jones' daughter? Yes. All right. Yeah, give us the plot. I'll just, I'll read what I wrote. Take the picture. So a single mother with a teenage daughter
Starting point is 01:44:29 decides she's not done having kids. She decides to go through IVF using a close friend as the donor. The friend is Colin Firth. IVF is a success, but maybe things went too well because she had them implant two eggs. And when you do that,
Starting point is 01:44:42 the chances of success are greater, but there's also a greater chance you're going to get twins. So she ends up getting pregnant with twins. Through that, her and Colin Firth become very close, and she decides they're developing a romance. But then Sean Bean comes back into the picture, and he's reformed a little bit.
Starting point is 01:44:58 He's Zendaya's father. So they had a kid. It was Zendaya. He's decided that he wanted to try to give the life that he couldn't provide when they had their first child so there's the conflict ultimately she chooses colin firth and they raise their new twins together as an older couple who just had kids which is what laura and i are an older couple who just had a child he's only gone and done it he fucking did it with queen latifah is the ivf latifah is the ivf doctor it's going to be somebody else i didn't
Starting point is 01:45:23 see the vision until you fucking, until you like pulled down the sheet and it's perfect. It's like a pretty real thing because we just did that and it's like, you know, I wouldn't mind seeing
Starting point is 01:45:32 something about that and how, and that like the movie would go through the process and how hard it really is but then there's tons of humor in there having to bring, you know,
Starting point is 01:45:40 just, I mean, it's full of places to have humor because it's about reproductive organs which are just hilarious. So, that's a great movie. That's a great movie. That's a great Nancy Meyers movie.
Starting point is 01:45:48 It'd be fun. So yeah, and then I got a sixth pick when we're ready. Great. Kara? Okay. Okay. I know my picks have been sort of, I think they've been fun, but nothing is too crazy out of the box. And I'd like to present something a little out of the box.
Starting point is 01:46:04 Get out of there. fun, but nothing is too crazy out of the box. And I'd like to present something a little out of the box. Get out of there. I don't think that Nancy Meyers has done this, but I do like the idea of there being like sort of a many generational thing, a red table talk effect, if you will. So I would love the character to have a mother, the main woman to have a mother character as well, who maybe is a little bit out of the box. Maybe she's a little bit of a fish out of water from the Nancy Meyers universe. And I would like to suggest that that character be played by Dolly Parton. Here's the thing. I grew up watching Dolly Parton in all these rom-coms, like not only nine to five, but she was in this movie called Straight Talk, Steel Magnolia. I mean, she's in all these movies
Starting point is 01:46:39 that I grew up watching. We haven't seen her back at acting for a while. I don't know if she's the greatest actress, but I think she's universally beloved. So she could pop in, give a little bit of that Southern wisdom. Maybe it's wild to me that Julia Louis-Dreyfus would be from the South, but like, you know, I don't know. I'm thinking outside the box and I want Dolly Martin back into the acting world a little bit. And so that's where I want to see this happen. She comes in from out of town. She doesn't live in the Hamptons. She's not maybe part of that same world. But that's my offering.
Starting point is 01:47:14 We see what Julia Louis-Dreyfus was trying to reinvent herself from. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if Dolly Parton shows up, no one's ever upset. It doesn't matter what she's doing there. Everyone's like, fucking tight, dude. Now I like the movie ever upset. Doesn't matter what she's doing there. Everyone's like fucking tight, dude. Now I like the movie more. Doesn't matter what she's doing. They might have sent her to a boarding school.
Starting point is 01:47:30 Yeah. Send her to a boarding school. Maybe they're really southern fancy. Maybe they're old southern money. It's two different worlds. Things don't work like that up here in West Hampton, mom.
Starting point is 01:47:49 I don't know. She's not the jet set she's the old chevrolet set she comes out she comes up there yeah uh oh my god dolly part that would be amazing yeah that is somewhere where they pop in and it's like oh shit you love it yeah uh all right fantastic time do you have it do you have like a broad plot? It's okay if you don't. No. You've painted the picture. Yeah. It's like, you know, Julie Louis-Dreyfus is maybe
Starting point is 01:48:15 her husband died or something. And now she's working on her career and she's got to get back into things. Her daughter, Linda Cardellini, is trying to help her get that way. She meets Christopher Maloney, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:28 I'm on board. We enjoy it for a couple hours and I buy some popcorn and I leave in a great mood. That's what happens. All right. Now I've got, it's, it's,
Starting point is 01:48:38 it's my final pick and I've got to go. I need conflicting love interest and I also need younger love interest. So one's going to be my fifth pick. And one's going to be my sixth pick. My conflicting love interest. Maybe the guy who she's like. Who's like. You know, he's.
Starting point is 01:48:57 Oh, no. Is he the right pick for Julia Roberts? It's all so complicated. Indeed. It is tough, man. You know what, Ian? Something's got to give. Come on. it's all so complicated indeed it is tough man something's gotta give but something does have to give something's gotta give here
Starting point is 01:49:12 I'm gonna take the kind of like older guy like who's you know Idris Elba's a little bit younger than Julia Roberts this guy's a little bit older than Julia Roberts but he's in the he lives in Ojai. Maybe he's somebody who owns a house that she's doing some of the landscaping on.
Starting point is 01:49:29 It's a little bit of a reverse. It's a complicated situation. I'm dropping talented actor and handsome enough man Bradley Whitford into this movie. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think he's funny.
Starting point is 01:49:44 I think he's someone who you can easily see her have a very funny banter with, but who she doesn't end up with maybe. Because he's handsome enough. He's a good-looking guy. He can wear the Nancy Meyers clothes. He can exist comfortably in the Nancy Meyers spaces. It's kind of like if his get out character wasn't terrifying. Yeah, he is pretty smooth in get out
Starting point is 01:50:10 but until you realize he's like a psycho. Up until then you're like, oh look at this guy. He's alright. Yeah, but he's the alternative to Idris Elba. I think she ends up eventually with Idris Elba but he's the other guy in this. He's the Steve Martin to the Alec Baldwin character hanging out and he's the he's the other guy in this he's the steve martin to the alec baldwin character
Starting point is 01:50:25 hanging out and he's a little bit older he's a little bit older than julia roberts you know experienced experienced salt and pepper yeah yeah and then the hot young guy in this who maybe is maybe ends up who ends up with uh zoe kravitz and this is my sixth bonus. This is my sixth round where everyone's kind of like, oh, of course they end up together, these two. I'm putting Henry Golding in there as just just a hot
Starting point is 01:50:56 fucking dumb but just so hot. Just stupid. Doesn't have to be that good at acting, which is good because Henry Golding's not like an amazing actor yet. I still think I'll pull it together. Get it together. We just saw what happened with Jamie Dornan.
Starting point is 01:51:12 You know what I mean? Yeah. But he's just in there being fucking hot, ending up with Zoe Kravitz. And you're like, yeah, of course, those two ended up together. Look at him. They're fucking hot. And he's British. He works with Idris Elba.
Starting point is 01:51:24 Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Cara, time for your bonus pick. Okay, so my bonus pick is for, so maybe when Julia Louis-Dreyfus starts getting back out into the dating pool, her daughters like,
Starting point is 01:51:37 date younger. Go for these younger guys. They'll love you. You're so accomplished. So there is a younger guy that, when you brought up the saturday night live thing this reminded me of somebody who i think can kind of do a little bit of a goofier thing too i was i want to throw in oscar isaac i feel like we haven't seen him do a lot of funny but he was pretty funny on snl i thought he really committed to being like goofy on snl that janitor sketch oh my god the janitor sketch where Oh my god. The janitor sketch
Starting point is 01:52:05 where he's reading the fan picture about Dua Lipa? He's reading his writing. He did such funny stuff and I was like, I'd love to see that. And he's more like a Linda Cardellini love interest age-wise probably. And he'd have to shave his beard because I don't want any of this all. But he'd have to look younger.
Starting point is 01:52:21 He'd have to look as young as he can look. He can do that? Just hot again. Just a hot, hot guy. Yeah. That's my little bonus, baby. Hot. Great bonus, baby. Sean Jordan, your little bonus? Zendaya's young, dumb as a rock. We're not sure about,
Starting point is 01:52:37 but he's charming and he's a rock star and he's all tattooed boyfriend. Nobody really likes him, but they don't not like him. He's going to be Ed Sheeran. And that's my sneaky little sex fan. He is so ugly. He could never get Zendaya. He is so charming. He is so charming and so fun, though.
Starting point is 01:52:53 Are you talking about yesterday's Ed Sheeran? He's talking about getting piled all the time. I think Ed Sheeran's dope. He seems fun. He's fun to hang out with. He's very talented, but he's just like not... He doesn't brush his hair. He's a rock star in this he's a rock star for real is he playing ed sheeran basically he's like he's not he's not named ed sheeran but he's basically ed sheeran in this movie okay okay it's like basically he looks like he was born in
Starting point is 01:53:17 fraggle rock i think i think he's fun i think he's charming and i do not think i think he's he's not die hard attractive but he's not you have cast this final role through your lens of who I'd like to get hammered with rather than the lens of who belongs to Nancy Mines I was like shit six man I get to pick a weird boyfriend
Starting point is 01:53:37 and throw him in there and Jiren in this movie wow also reuniting with his Game of Thrones co-star, Sean Dean. Although I think when he was on Game of Thrones, Sean Dean was on. Man, you're just the king of reuniting stuff there. Dana Schwartz, your bonus pick. I think that
Starting point is 01:53:54 Emma Thompson needs a no-nonsense book editor who's also her best friend, who's the one who's trying to get her to write another book. Hell yeah. And that is Tandy Wayne Newton. Who's that? Oh, Tandy, yeah. And that is Tandy Wayne Newton. Who's that? Oh, oh.
Starting point is 01:54:07 Oh, Tandy. Tandy Newton. She formerly went by Tandy. She formerly Tandy Newton, but has said that she's now Tandy Wayne Newton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. From Crash, right? From Crash. From Westworld.
Starting point is 01:54:17 Westworld, yeah. Just beautiful. She's sort of like the ethereal, impenetrable book editor slash best friend. That's great emma thompson has to sort of be a little like you know drinking white wine a little bit of a emotional comedic and we need like sort of the stoic no-nonsense contrast her editor that's great anyway newton is going to be in the new magic mic i'm seeing on uh imdb she's a beautiful a beautiful older woman i think she would be a great foil for Emma Thompson's energy and also
Starting point is 01:54:47 a welcome woman of color in the Nancy Myers universe. Yeah, rare enough. Excellent pick. To recap, Dana, you went first. You took Chris Pine, Emma Thompson, Jennifer Lawrence, Kevin Bacon, Television's Ian Carmel, and with your bonus pick, Tendoway Newton.
Starting point is 01:55:04 Sean, you went second. You took Rashida Jones, Colin Firth, Sean Bean, Queen Latifah, Zendaya, and Ed Sheeran. Carrie, you went third. Ed Sheeran, dude. Carrie, you went third. You took Linda Cardellini, Chris Maloney, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wanda Sykes, Dolly Parton, and Oscar Isaac coming into the bonus round. I went last. Dolly Parton and Oscar Isaac coming into the bonus round.
Starting point is 01:55:24 I went last. I took Idris Elba, Julia Roberts, Olivia Colman, Zoe Kravitz, Bradley Whitford, and Henry Golding. We did a good job. This is fun. These are great movies. Those are good casts. Those are really fun casts. Marissa, do you have someone you'd like to see in a Nancy Meyers movie? Do you care about Nancy Meyers movies?
Starting point is 01:55:40 I actually, it turns out, I don't even know if I've seen too many. But I'm trying to get more into rom-coms. I realized I hadn't even know if i've seen too many so but i'm trying to get more into rom-coms i realized i hadn't even seen love actually i was watching that i started that last night anyways i have a big crush on this person uh and i would love to see him in more rom-coms i'm taking taking ryan gosling oh yeah yeah he's fun oh he's the best crazy you've seen you gotta watch crazy stupid love marissa you've seen it oh yeah crazy stupid love Marissa you've seen it crazy stupid love is my favorite rom-com give us more gauze where you been gauze
Starting point is 01:56:09 give us the gauze where has he been probably just eating dope food yeah having a great time we left all of Hollywood on the board but here's some people who I would like to see in this world Sally Field
Starting point is 01:56:24 I think would be really fun. Katherine Hahn, Dana, we were talking yesterday. Oh, yeah. Katherine Hahn would be great. Yeah, Katherine Hahn seems like she's on a collision course with Nancy Meyers. I want to throw out Rachel McAdams.
Starting point is 01:56:39 Oh, yeah. Sure. Here's somebody where, like, if I didn't take Idris Elba, I would have taken this person. George Clooney would be so good. Oh, yeah. Serendipity. Get him back to his serendipity days. Yes.
Starting point is 01:56:53 Put him back in that role. You know, the tender bar? Great. Direct all the movies you want, George Clooney. But let's get you back in the suit. My IVF doctor was going to be Bryan Cranston until I realized that'd be rude. But it was going to be Cranston. Pretty cool enough.
Starting point is 01:57:07 I also wanted to put this person in my movie playing themselves just a little cameo. Oprah. What about Oprah popping up in a Nancy Meyers movie? The two queens of Santa Barbara meeting at last. But would it be like two black stars?
Starting point is 01:57:26 Would it create a divide by zero nexus of the universe? Damn. In a Nancy Meyers movie? Yeah. Well, that's why Oprah's just coming in. For the nexus folding in? Absolutely. Oprah's just a cameo playing Oprah.
Starting point is 01:57:42 Julia Roberts is at Oprah's house in one of the scenes. I think, yeah. We want to hear yours. Send us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. We love you. Thank you for holding us down.
Starting point is 01:57:58 Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to everyone on the AFE shaslackity. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Also, I had a couple of shout outs if that's okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Dominic Wright who gifted us cassette tape versions of all your comedy specials.
Starting point is 01:58:14 He turned them into like really cool covers and stuff. Yeah, I just now need to find a cassette player to be able to play them. And then also shout out to Dominic Valdez who is the owner of Tea Chai Tay in Portland. Yes. The lovely tea care package. The teas were so good. As soon as I opened my mailbox, my mailbox just smelled like flowers. It smelled amazing. It's a good life. And I think, Ian,
Starting point is 01:58:39 the tea's going to you. I gave it to Isaac and Isaac will give it to you next time. I'm going to see him tomorrow. Yeah. Great. Perfect. But yeah, thank you to both those Dominics. Shout out to the Dominics and shout out to Dominic Toretto as always. Family. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Starting point is 01:58:53 Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. Shacklackity. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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