All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Skateboarders (w/ Donovan Strain, David Gborie and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: November 7, 2019

Today we’re drafting fictional skateboarders with very real skateboarder Donovan Strain! Sean wanted to make sure you knew he’d rather draft ANYTHING having to do with rollerblading, but ...he participated anyway. Suck it, Sean. I’ll never give you the Art19 password. Video of Vin Diesel wall riding a school bus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYPtSvojViQEpisode Guest:Donovan Strain @donovanstrain IG: @donovanstrainSupport the show!All Fantasy Everything is nominated for Discover Pods' Best Comedy Podcast award! Support the show by casting your vote here until Nov 18th: https://awards.discoverpods.com/2019-discover-pods-awards-finalists/Sponsors:Eight Sleep: Get $150 off when you go to eightsleep.com/allfantasy.Feals: Become a member today by going to Feals.com/ALLFANTASY and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Dashlane: Start dashing through the internet and help support our show by visiting dashlane.com/allfantasy to start your 30 day free trial of Dashlane – no credit card required. If you like it, use code “allfantasy” at checkout to save 20% on your Premium subscription.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is, ooh, just sipping on some casual-ass coffee in the Fortress of Solid Dudes. Tight cross. Tight cross in the Fortress of Solid Dudes right now. I've been known to cross my legs very tight in this chair. It's kind of, like, threatening. It is, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:00:46 Supposed to be. And then sometimes if I get upset, I switch. It's like turning the hat backwards. It's like how they say on the emblem of the President of the United States, which way the eagle's face is turning, like for a war. It's facing another way. Is that true? It's not true. Ah, fuck.
Starting point is 00:01:01 People have been saying that. Who's going to pick that? No, I didn't believe that. I know. It sounds real. It sounds really real. Every day you say something that I've never heard and it's so awesome. That was as real as some Gene Rayburn nunchucks to these guys. Fucking Donovan rolled up to the hood.
Starting point is 00:01:22 We'll call it. Donovan, what have you been watching? I don't know, man. I got really baked last night. I honestly couldn't tell you what I watched. I knew you were baked because you were tweeting about being a bullfighter. Vegan bullfighters or something?
Starting point is 00:01:36 Oh, I said I'm going to move back to Portland and open a vegan bullfighting ring? Oh, yeah, yeah. Where it's just me throwing hay bales at dudes with swords. That's like how high i like yeah you kind of got it then i got away from me i was like oh shit that wasn't even my only bullfighting tweet no you had like six yeah were you watching bullfighting i have no idea it was a full thread too on twitter it's like a dude you couldn't he connected them
Starting point is 00:02:04 there were like six of them. I threaded it. I started to forget that he was joking. I'm like really reading that. It might have been a bullfighter. After a while, you just feel like it's just like that's what's happening. I don't know. Bullfighting just seems like such a... I know it's cruel.
Starting point is 00:02:15 So, you know, I get that. Not if it's a vegan bullfight. Not vegan bullfight. But it's just such a romantic little jacket, that weird hat. Do you think bullfighting is cooler than bull riding? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. He dressed up like Vega from Street Fighter. Yeah, exactly. It's outfit based more than anything. Remember when you
Starting point is 00:02:31 would knock his mask off? Or his cloth. You would knock his cloth. His mask would come off too, though. Yeah. And then he'd climb on the fence. Oh, my beautiful face. Yeah, it was a bummer when his mask came off because you're like, well, I don't want to fight him anymore now. He doesn't look terrifying anymore.
Starting point is 00:02:47 That's not how I felt at all. When his mask fell off, I was like, yeah, you could get the work. Cut that pretty face up. E-Honda. Oh, I was E-Honda so much. Dude, that's my move. And Barack.
Starting point is 00:03:02 This guy, he's already scared of me. That's my move. You're the one that does the slappy hands? You're the one? Yeah. He claimed he could beat me with anybody. I've already called him out to fight me at Dave & Buster's twice. I can beat you with anyone. He said who? Oh, wait. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Anyone you are in Street Fighter, I can beat you. I eHonda the shit out of everybody I win. I do the M. Bison, the crouch move. You know the sliding thing? I'll beat you too. Do it all day. But here's the thing. You keep saying that, but I called you to come,
Starting point is 00:03:28 Dave and Buster's twice already, man. One for Dave and one's for Buster. That's why I call my fist, Dave and Buster's dude. And I'm giving out power cards. I already got your minutes
Starting point is 00:03:43 loaded up for it. But also, let's go back to how Sean's a coward. Oh, a coward. And he's ducking the challenge. See what you did? See what you all have to do with these assholes now. All he's got is the leg cross.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Once you get past that, he's butter. That's it. You're soft. This guy shaved my face and all of a sudden they think they can say whatever they want. That is what happened. That is what happened. That is what happened. Mask off, dude. It's like Vegas mask, man.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened. It's a good thing I shaved. Otherwise, David would have just punched the hair off my face anyways. Come on, don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. So, okay. For the listeners.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Two things. Yeah, David hit me in the face last night. Neither here nor there. He did not hit me. Don't say it like that. Everybody obviously didn't hear nor there where it was. After the chicken it like that. Everybody always says it here nor there. After the chicken wing thing, I have to let it be known that I'm not violent.
Starting point is 00:04:30 People come up to David sometimes too and be like, why are you so fucking mean to Sean? He's like, that's one of my best friends. Come up to me, tweet me, Instagram, DM me. Or like, yeah. So two things. I know you already said this, but will you say what kind of cologne you bought today and why you bought it
Starting point is 00:04:45 because I just think it was hilarious oh Spider-Man look at you you don't believe it I got it right here no I believe it not one part of me
Starting point is 00:04:51 didn't believe that by the way because you also brought a black belt that says master on it Donovan got Spider-Man cologne oh it does say master on it
Starting point is 00:04:57 yo shit can I see it here you go you want to try this I do want to that's the smell of Spider-Man right there hold on
Starting point is 00:05:04 Calvin Klein has never saved the world. I smell like the man, not only just success, but just like… David just takes a drink. Ass kicking. You know what I mean? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. That's Spider-Man, baby.
Starting point is 00:05:19 You know why you do that on the wrist? What? You know why you do that? Tell me. It's because that's where your pulse, so it's supposed to like, your pulse is supposed to like, put the scent out more.
Starting point is 00:05:28 That's why people do it on their neck too, right on their carotid arteries, because that's where your heart beats. I can't wait till somebody asks me like, you wearing cologne? Spider-Man, baby. Yeah, girl. Are you wearing cologne?
Starting point is 00:05:38 Actually, I'm Spider-Man. That's just what I smell like. That's just what the fuck it's up. My spidey sense is tingling. Oh yeah, David, look at this. I got Sean a present. That is a black belt that says master. See, I was going to get it embroidered.
Starting point is 00:05:53 They didn't want it to say master because they said it was super disrespectful. So then I just threatened them with violence and they did it. That's a good way to stop it. That's how you get things. Yeah, that's your best. Tell his threats.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Oh, you are a master. Once you threaten him with violence, they're like, oh shit, he's disrespecting my dojo. I better make it. Dog, this is the first black belt I've ever touched. It's legit.
Starting point is 00:06:13 I feel like I shouldn't even touch it. You got to touch it. The first one I touched was the one I earned with skill. Oh shit. And yet you were the one getting hit in the face last night. Oh shit. Oh, when it's funny, it's okay. and yet you were the one getting hit in the face last night oh shit
Starting point is 00:06:25 oh when it's funny it's okay yeah that is kind of the rule you gonna put it on I like to point out to the listeners that everyone put on the Spider-Man cologne when it got passed around there was no
Starting point is 00:06:41 especially when it gets fast And we laugh And we're like nah I'm good It wasn't even nonchalant It was super chalant They just put that shit right on Fully chalant We were talking about that
Starting point is 00:06:51 If like something is couth Oh yeah Instead of uncouth Like if it's just couth That I cross my legs as such Sean S. Jordan In the Fortress of Soledad Yeah man
Starting point is 00:07:03 Sean S. Jordan on Twitter Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram yeah here he is right here here he is ask me if I got anything
Starting point is 00:07:10 coming up real quick what do you got coming up nothing nothing hasn't changed nothing on the calendar what we got
Starting point is 00:07:17 coming down nunchucks Spiderman cologne on the wrist I have he's sick master black belt and a party tonight and a party tonight he's sick. Master black belt. I do actually.
Starting point is 00:07:25 And a party tonight, dude. And a party tonight. He's the mayor tonight. Where we see all three come together. Man. You could just bring both those sets of nunchucks and be like, yeah, I didn't dress up. That's as Miami of an outfit as I know of.
Starting point is 00:07:35 The thing about it is we're going to the roost next so you can get in there with nunchucks. It would be, dude, this guy at the roost, for some reason, the roost, it's this bar on Los Feliz that they just, they'll put up with anything at that bar. And yeah, I could go in there with nunchucks tonight and they'd be like, yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:07:52 You could stand on a table and do nunchucks and they'd be like, ha ha, drinks on the house. They would. Fucking the door guy is this He loves you. He doesn't like me, by the way. Because I put in work, dude. I chipped away at this guy for like a year to get him to laugh.
Starting point is 00:08:08 He's like this scary Anton Chigurh looking dude. He's like a darker skinned Anton Chigurh. He looks terrifying. I want to guess maybe Filipino Anton Chigurh, but I couldn't really say. That guy could be from anywhere. Can't call it, but he's scary, dude. He definitely choked somebody. He's for sure choked somebody.
Starting point is 00:08:23 He never, his face doesn't change. You know what I mean? You can see him choking someone. His face doesn't change. You know what I mean? You can see him choking someone. His face wouldn't change. He might be making eye contact with another dude. Yeah. And the only person on earth who he likes is Sean. It's bizarre.
Starting point is 00:08:35 He really does light up when he sees you. He'll give me a high five. Now I'm walking like, what up, dog? And he's like, hi. It's like of mice and men, and he's the dumb one. They got little jokes. See, Sean, you're not always the dumb one. like, hi. It's like of mice and men and he's the dumb one. They got little jokes. See, Sean, you're not always the dumb one. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yeah, the buck starts here. If you want to purchase it, purchase it. That's an album that I made of stand-up. Oh, yeah, that's about it. Beautiful. Watch the late late show with James Corden. Man, you got to quit stealing mine because now I got nothing coming up.
Starting point is 00:09:01 You got an Emmy right there. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was going to ask what it... Emmy of the state, dude. Pick it up, man. Pick it up. Oh, my God. Dude, I forgot. Emmy award winning Ian. That's what your name is. That's a real ass Emmy.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Isn't that tight? Dude, that's insane. Isn't that crazy? It's just there. I wish we had like a DJ to hit an applause button right now. It's next to a basketball. There's some rollerblades right now it's next to a basketball there's some roller blades right yeah yeah my my three disciplines dude basketball rollerblading and tv writing almost on the floor right here there it is oh shit yeah now the cypher's complete whoa damn an emmy next to a real master black belt now i want too much power that's like an infinity gauntlet
Starting point is 00:09:44 yeah i feel like when you did that the galleria just opened up in a ship like the avengers flew An Emmy next to a real Master Black Belt. Now I want someone to break in. That's too much power. That's like an Infinity Gauntlet right there. Don't touch it. Yeah. I feel like when you did that, the Galleria just opened up in a ship. Like the Avengers flew a ship out of it. Like, cool. Yeah. Damn, dude.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I want someone to break in, see that, see the Emmy and the Master Black Belt and be like, nah, we're not robbing this place. And then leave. Not today. What if that fucking,
Starting point is 00:10:01 okay, so last night at like 2.30 in the morning. Yo. Go ahead. So I got like super baked at like 2 30 in the morning yeah go ahead so i got like super baked at like seven it got so baked and was like in bed by like 10 right you were you guys went to faded yeah we went out had a couple drinks nothing insane i got back at uh two or something yeah but it was you know it was fine so i'm in bed for like four or five hours at this point in like i hear something outside.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Like I hear the door open and it wakes me up a little bit. And then I'm like, oh, Sean must be coming home. And then I go back to sleep. But I never use the front door. Like I never, because it makes noise.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So I would never, I go in the back. But I thought maybe like you and Dave would come back. Yeah, I go in the back, dude. And like you were going out to smoke or something like that. And,
Starting point is 00:10:42 and then I like went back to sleep and then I heard like a very soft knock something like that. And then I went back to sleep, and then I heard a very soft knock at the door, and I was like, what the fuck? And then another one. Did you think it was time to call upon your training? I did think it was time to call upon my training, but I was still so stoned. And I was mad worried about it.
Starting point is 00:11:01 So for you, what's going on at this point, Sean? I answered the door, and I got the McDonald's. So for you, what's going on at this point, Sean? I would just like, I answered the door and I got the McDonald's from, so it was a Postmates driver. So the first one was me getting this fat bag of McDonald's and I just set it on the counter because I'm like, no, there's no way Ian ordered this. Well, you know, you didn't order it. I certainly
Starting point is 00:11:17 didn't because I've been asleep since 10. So I was just sitting there and then I'm kind of waiting like something's going to happen. There's no way this food's ours. And then he comes back. He's like, hey, can I get that food back? No way. At this point, I was woken up.
Starting point is 00:11:31 And I'm in there like, Ian. Wait, he asked, he came back? He came back to get the food. I didn't know they were allowed to do that. Apparently they are. Apparently when it's 2 fucking 40 a.m., they're allowed to do it. But I was so scared. It was terrifying because you're like,
Starting point is 00:11:45 who died, you know? When someone rings the doorbell or whatever at that hour. And you know that you didn't order anything. Like something, it's the cops saying like, David and Joey Glasses killed someone or got killed. Why does it be David and Joey Glasses? Because you were the two that I most recently saw.
Starting point is 00:12:02 And they immediately come over here because they know we're friends. David had your ID in his wallet. David was saying he was you and he got kicked out of the Dresden. What? I have been saying
Starting point is 00:12:19 I'm different people a lot on stage. I do like that. Hilarious. I'll often be like, oh, thank you. I've been Bruce Bruce. Even when I kill. Tiffany Haddish. Thanks, everybody. Donovan Strain is also in the crib. What's up, everybody?
Starting point is 00:12:37 Donovan Strain on Twitter. Is it also Donovan Strain on Instagram? For sure. Motherfucking right. You may know him from Butterass Mondays. Also Donovan Strain on Instagram. For sure. Motherfucking right. Motherfucking right. You may know him from Butterass Mondays. I showed him some the other day. That was a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah, yeah. That was how I first, I mean, what was 10 years ago? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I remember watching those just like dog. I was the only one
Starting point is 00:13:00 with a show on skateboarding. Yeah, yeah. It's so fucking funny. They still, they hold up. It was weird, man. shit was cracking me up uh skateboarding in general yeah you're a fucking cool ass dude from in the future beating sean at street fighter uh man you're gonna get those hands look at me i'm gonna get his hands i'm gonna see We should promote it like a fucking boxing fight. We should get t-shirts made. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I'm really, are you like really good at street fighting Donovan? Cause he's really good at street fighting. I only do that one move and I never lose. You'll lose. That's all I do with Ehan. I just slap the shit out of people and I win. Sean's like,
Starting point is 00:13:38 everybody does that move. Really good at it. What if I'm Ehan and I just do that move too? Who are you going to beat me with? Anyone except Zangief and probably Zangief. Bowser? What? Wait. What? Bowser.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Bowser. What? Now I'm fucked up. Hold on. I got to go take a nap. I'm stroking out over here. Is Bowser a playable character in like a Nintendo Street Fighter? Not that I know of. Maybe a Dave and Buster's? He is, dude. I'm just going to pour that Spider-Man cologne all over the machine.
Starting point is 00:14:08 And that way he won't be able to slap the button. It'll be too slippery. I'm excited. I got video game powers now that I'm in a video game. So that's true. Playable in session. Yeah. Is it available on Xbox yet?
Starting point is 00:14:22 I know it's on PC. Should be this month right yeah yeah any it might be when this comes out or i might not it probably will this is coming out november like it's like any week now can you buy a disc of it it will right now it's early access when it comes out and that'll be like through the xbox online but then like the full game will drop in like months after that with like the full it'll be a disc so it's not gonna be out for a couple months well you can get
Starting point is 00:14:50 early access well okay so here's the thing I no I've been thinking $3 million that the government knows about I've got speaker city from the ground up and I can barely read because I've been I'm going on tour and they got an Xbox
Starting point is 00:15:04 in the Sprinter van. Damn. But it's not going to be hooked up to the internet. You can't download. Man, it's got a fucking 9 out of 10 rating on Steam. Dude, it has like perfect reviews, man. Maybe we can. It's like, it's crazy, man.
Starting point is 00:15:21 They really put like all the like 2019 video game stuff you would expect into a video game. Really? Yeah, it's crazy man like they really put like all the like 2019 video game stuff you would expect into a video game dope really crazy yeah it's so sick i've been wanting a skateboarding video game so fucking bad man i played the fuck out of skate too uh well we fucking got one beautiful man so that's what else you got coming up what else you want to put people on too pretty much that i have a skateboard company i've started but i guess but like i'm it's not like a skate company i'm not like making a team or video it's more like merchandise i guess yeah because i don't really like fucking logos really like i don't know why i'm skating other
Starting point is 00:15:57 people's shit when i can just afford to make my own art on boards oh that's great so then i'll just make art enough for like my fans to buy it too. Are you putting out like decks and stuff like that? It'll be on the barracks. That's awesome. They're getting printed right now. Where can people look out for that? Just follow you on social?
Starting point is 00:16:13 Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Slinging out the back of a trunk, but I don't have a car. But barracks is like my car. We'll go to Enterprise. We'll rent a car. Barracks is like my car. Yo, rent a car.
Starting point is 00:16:21 You should build a fucking, you should like get a junk car. Yeah. And just get the trunk so you can, you should like get a junk car. Yeah. And just get the trunk so you can still pop the trunk at the barracks. Yeah. That's pretty much what I'm doing. I'm a big fan of popping trunks. Yeah. In all capacities.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. Trunks that be bouncing. Man. I wouldn't mind buying some elk meat out of a trunk at some point. Man, I bought, you know, I bought some steaks out of a trunk one time. What?
Starting point is 00:16:44 Pretty good deal. Snakes? Steaks. Oh a trunk one time. What? Pretty good deal. Snakes? Steaks. Oh. I was like, what? You were upset. Your face. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Where'd you get that boa? Oh, I bought it out of El Camino. Popped the trunk? No, because I'm deaf in my left ear. So, like, sometimes things are off a little bit. Oh, I feel you. I'm deaf in my right ear. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:02 I went to his, what was that video? Movie premiere? Oh, wait. Oh, for my you. I'm deaf in my right ear. Yeah. I went to his, what was that video? Your movie premiere? Oh, wait. Oh, for my short film? Yeah. The Lot? I forgot. Dude, I went to that, but I couldn't hear anything because of my hearing.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Like the way the speakers work. Oh, yeah. So I just hung out outside, but everybody in there loved it. They fucking laughed so hard. They seemed like they were laughing, man. I had no idea what the movie was going on because I really couldn't hear shit. I don't know, but people who did have hearing
Starting point is 00:17:30 loved the shit out of that movie. That was on the poster. That's my target demo. Put that on the poster, man. People who did have hearing loved that shit. They loved it. Shit's funny, man. He screened it at High Plains at this festival we did in Denver a couple weeks ago. You dropping out on subtitles soon's funny, man. He screened it at High Plains at this festival we did in Denver
Starting point is 00:17:45 a couple weeks ago. Yeah, you dropping out on subtitles soon? Yeah, probably. I'll give you the link. I'll get the subtitles, man. I'll give you the link. I watched it while I was eating pizza and I liked the lot more than the pizza.
Starting point is 00:17:56 And the pizza was good pizza. Damn. What kind of pizza was it? It was that pizza we got at High Plains, man. It was that greasy ass delicious pizza in the green room. Shout out to Sexy Pizza. It was that very necessary pizza that came into came into the green room yeah i needed that i needed i needed
Starting point is 00:18:09 that some pizza moved into the jagermeister neighborhood that evening oh you guys were doing jagermeister because i couldn't he's been drinking jagermeister lately because i couldn't i couldn't do anything else like nothing else was going down so it was that that was it just because it's easy to do. Okay. I was wondering, I was like, but then weren't you drinking
Starting point is 00:18:27 Jagermeister at Ian's birthday too? Yeah. It was there. There's a big bottle in the freezer because I really, I miss, I, I,
Starting point is 00:18:35 I guessed wrong at how much other people were also drinking Jagermeister. Nobody else is drinking it. He's like, this should be enough. I'm like, for like, till we die.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I thought maybe at a party people would want to be slamming Jaeger. I don't know. It was your 35th birthday. I'm dumb. We're going to use one of those to fuel the time machine to go back to when we were 18
Starting point is 00:18:56 and the other half we're going to drink because we're 18. All I know is trivia. I know the capital of Florida. All right. I know what the hardest mineral is. I don't know what people are drinking. What is the,
Starting point is 00:19:03 is diamond the hardest mineral? It's diamond and Tallahassee. Ooh, damn. That's oddly I know what the hardest mineral is. I don't know what people are drinking. What is the, it's diamond the hardest mineral? It's diamond in Tallahassee. Yeah. Ooh, damn. That's oddly enough my stripper name. Yes. I didn't even know that they mine diamonds
Starting point is 00:19:11 where you live, Denver. In Sierra Leone? Oh, in Denver they don't mine diamonds? Yeah, they mine the shit out of diamonds. I went to a museum out there,
Starting point is 00:19:18 Natural History Museum. With diamonds? Yeah, they was posting, dude, we got these locally. What? Yeah,
Starting point is 00:19:24 up in the hills that's why the denver nuggets logo is like the diamond with the pics a gold gold no they had diamonds dude yeah google it maybe man maybe i was dumb as hell that was a sick museum though because i like the one with the bear like the bear outside yeah dude i love yeah they do these small market museums are the best man like in Like in LA, it's too big. You go in the LA Natural History Museum, it's T-Rex and that rhinoceros one, the tricellular tops.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Yeah. It's like, I've seen those dudes. You go to Denver, they just get the skeletons they could afford. They got like chupacabras and shit. You're like, what? Jackalopes and shit. America's first diamond mine was in Colorado,
Starting point is 00:20:02 the Kimberly diamond mine. What city? Kimberly? Hold on There's also Colorado's first experience with diamonds Was the great diamond hoax of 1872 Oh I remember them You remember that?
Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah I remember that I was in like 5th grade That's 5th grade for you They didn't have grades back then You either worked or you were a kid i think like every time i see movies from back then they just teach people the abcs and then that's it i mean what else do you need the school teacher like they sing the abcs that's then go to work you go to work That's what you say. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I can't really read. Let me see this. It looks like up north. Luckily, I've been taking cartography classes online. Oh, sick. Oh, that's like, that's by Laramie. That's almost Wyoming.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Pert near Wyoming. Yeah, I don't go. Pert near Wyoming. I don't go up there. Pert near my Uncle Bill over there, down there, Sheridan Way. And you've really been taking cartography? Nah, man. I like maps, though there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:05 I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:05 I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:05 I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:06 I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:06 I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there I don't go up there
Starting point is 00:21:06 I don't go up there I don't go Because there's treasure, right? There has to be. There has to be treasure. There's still pirate's booty out there. I'm 100% a goonie. If somebody says they have a treasure map, I will join the squad. I'll drop whatever I'm doing. Instant. Any treasure, I go. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Also, because it's going to be worth it because you're going to get treasure. For sure. Here's my question about treasure. How do you unload it? Like, I don't know how to turn treasure into cash. Oh, like how do you wash it? There's a currency exchange at the... What's he doing? I don't know how to turn treasure into oh like there's a currency exchange
Starting point is 00:21:45 at the what's he doing i don't know what he's doing oh he's looking for the map i'm gonna start telling people i only work for like rubies and gems and that's what you gotta do man you gotta stack you gotta stack precious metals yeah green and red ones oh that is a huge map and whoa is that pan is that what is that that's south asia that what is that? that's South Asia that's Sioux Falls with all the neighborhoods what is that? Palestine oh wow
Starting point is 00:22:12 are you Jewish? Ian's holding a map you just found that out Ian's holding a map and uh it's Palestine and what? Eurasia? Indonesiaia south asia palestine and indonesia those are the two places i think about when i think about ian carmel it's a map that symbolizes me and nick nampay's friendship if you really get into it uh oh is that what that is no my mom and i
Starting point is 00:22:38 my mom got it for me we were in hawaii and there was some rare map store what it's from like the 1870s damn And she bought it and for sure spent way too much money on it, but as a kid, I was really good at geography. I was in like the National Geography Bee. No way. Yeah. What? Yeah. Goddamn. Watch this fucking kid play Jeopardy. It's
Starting point is 00:22:57 so infuriating. Seriously. Every time. Picking apart like a grocery store chicken. Could be on Jeopardy. I swear to God. Yeah, my mom got me that map, and she held on to it forever, and this year finally sent it down. Now that I live in a place that doesn't really seem like it's going to get broken into. It seemed like it last night about 240. Got broken into with some McDonald's, I'll tell you that.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Yeah, it's a fucking real map from the 1870s, man. Oh, that's dope, man. Is that tight? I'm with that. I'm into that. It says Palestine on it, and I don't want to get people thinking I'm making some sort of political statement. One time my mom bought me a map. It was a map to Funky Town.
Starting point is 00:23:37 It was actually a beach towel. How do you get there, though? It's a whole thing. On the other side of the beach towel, did it say have a healthy respect for the moose? No. You guys don't respect moose, though? Yes, I do. Of course.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I'm so scared of moose. You ever seen a moose? Dude, I went to where this dude's from, South Dakota, Black Hills. I saw moose. I saw bear. I saw wolves all fighting each other. Like in the wild?
Starting point is 00:24:04 In the fucking wild. I saw one black bear and two all fighting each other. Like in the wild? In the fucking wild. I saw one black bear and two wolves fighting each other. I won. And I didn't smile for like two years after that. No, I wouldn't either. I had a straight face. Nothing could impress me. I was like, dude, I saw a bear and two wolves fighting.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I've seen a bear fight wolves. What do you have? Blackhills or buck? Hey, man, you want to go see the new Batman? No. Uh-uh. No. No, I was just quiet.
Starting point is 00:24:25 I was silent. I just shut down. Speaking of silent, the G is silent. David Boyle in the crib. That's me. CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. That's what it is. Not a lot of those out there.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Not a lot of those. I mean, we actually are there. There is one CoolGuyJokes88. There's CoolGuyJokes87, right? That's like Rebecca Gadd's friend. That's her name on her phone. Oh, really? Shout out to Rebecca Gadd. You're very funny on Twitter. She's very funny on Twitter. Wait gal jokes. 87, right? That's like Rebecca Gant's friend. It's like that's her name on her phone. Oh, really? Shout out to Rebecca Gant. You're very funny on Twitter. She's very funny on Twitter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Is it cool guy jokes or cool guy jokes? Cool. Oh, that's a good question. Cool guy jokes. What do you do? I do a lot of cool guy jokes, actually. I got a lot of cool guy jokes. I don't know. I didn't really think it that far, man. Guy jokes.
Starting point is 00:25:05 It's that shit is killing me what do you do I just got jokes man like cool ones that's just because you didn't think Instagram was going
Starting point is 00:25:13 to be a thing right didn't think that it was going to pop off my email has 187 in it because I didn't think Gmail was ever going to be it's so funny when we have
Starting point is 00:25:19 business emails and you see responded by Sean Jordan 187 at Yahoo or whatever that's what your email is but it'll respond to like business so it'll be like hey guys we're looking for new sponsors for the podcast is this something and sean's like the most polite email but it's no way sean jordan 187 dude i realized i haven't emailed in so long, so I started using like Ding Dong Ditch now. I started this two days ago.
Starting point is 00:25:46 DingDongDitch.com? No, no. I email people I know, and I write the same thing. Like if I write Sean, I write Sean! I have an idea. Dot, dot, dot. Then I wait. And then when they write back, finally, I write.
Starting point is 00:25:58 And they ask me what the idea was. I just write back the same thing. I write, I forgot. That's the thing. I've been doing that for like two days now. Email Ding Dong Ditching? I like that you're taking pranks online. Yeah. thing i forgot that's the thing i've been doing that for like two days now it's so i like that you're taking pranks online yeah i never even thought about that and some people write back long responses like oh wow i can't believe you got in touch with me i can't wait
Starting point is 00:26:15 to hear what you got from me i've actually got a few ideas myself uh i forgot i've really been waiting to hear from you honestly i you know we haven't talked since I had the baby and I know it's been busy. I'll just make a reservation for a real nice dinner downtown LA on Friday. So I'll just see you there. They need a deposit,
Starting point is 00:26:31 but I'll put my card down. I just assumed you'll be there. So I'll see you there. Oh man. What do you got coming up, David? What do I got?
Starting point is 00:26:38 What date is this? This is like, who knows? November, early to mid November. So this is Watch My Comedy Central special. November 15th. On November 15th at 11 p.m. Eastern.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yes. November 16th, I'm co-hosting the Eric Andre Show at the Adult Swim Fest. Yes. You know, and then, you know, I'm out here maneuvering. He's heating up up he's on fire my oh my that cool guy's got jokes cool guy jokes
Starting point is 00:27:15 yeah official guy jokes oh I got some new t-shirts coming out officialdavidborey.com some cool guy t-shirts some cool gal t-shirts some cool gal t-shirts too some cool pal t-shirts. Some cool gal t-shirts, too.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Some cool pal t-shirts. What's the aesthetic on these ones? It's me ripping a huge hooter, and it says, I'm worried about David Borey. Ripping a hooter? Oh, wait. Yeah, I saw that online. Yeah, yeah. It's a huge joint.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Oh, word, word. Okay. Do people not call joints hooters anymore? I never heard that. No, I haven't either. Really? So it just sounded like I said, I'm ripping a huge t-shirt. I think you and your friend, that's it. And I'm worried about David Borey, which. No, I haven't. Really? So it just sounded like I'm ripping a huge titty. And I'm worried about David
Starting point is 00:27:47 Borey, which is another shirt I'd buy. That'd be crazy. Yeah, but... Hey, hey, you didn't even tell him. You in Times Square now. Oh, I'm in Times Square. Yeah, dude. You can go look at my... I'm also going to be on Sunset on a billboard.
Starting point is 00:28:03 I can't wait. Yeah, we're going to drive past it. We should go have lunch in front of that. You ever been on anything like that? Like a big, a billboard? No, no, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Not even close. I was on the front page of the Willamette week in Portland. One time. I almost got that fly that time. You were in that commercial where you were dancing. I was the face of the Oregon Beavers for a while. Oh, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:25 I was in a subway commercial. It's crazy. Cause your nickname was the face of the Oregon Beavers for a while. Oh, hell yeah. I was in a subway commercial once. Which is crazy because your nickname was Beaver for the longest time. Still is if you ask anyone in Sioux Falls. I won't. I was on the
Starting point is 00:28:31 Staples Center Jumbotron one time on accident. How? Because I went to a WNBA game and because Phoenix Mercury were in town and Diana Taurasi
Starting point is 00:28:39 she got a sick jump shot. And she's going to be in Spice Jam 2 so I'm like, I got to check this out. So I went but I was in the tip top and there wasn't that many
Starting point is 00:28:46 people sitting up there like all the 12 rows in front of me were gone I was like yo at halftime I'm just scooting up you know halftime I scoot up
Starting point is 00:28:52 then a fucking spotlight Staples Center if you are able to please rise and give it up it was like a read to achieve winner for donating like
Starting point is 00:29:02 10,000 books to local libraries everybody was fucking going bananas. The team was getting it. They were swinging their towels like Petey Pablo and shit. Yeah, and they're all fucking zoomed in on me. They thought it was me because I was in the seat. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, dude. All the players were
Starting point is 00:29:15 fucking Petey Pablo with the towels. Everyone was giving it up. Dude, I just didn't want to tell them no, so I knew it would be over for a minute, so I just calmly waved, you know? But listen, if you ever get a standing ovation at Staples Center, it's a thrill. I can't. It has to be.
Starting point is 00:29:31 You feel like a million bucks after that. Dude, it was the best WNBA game of all time for me. Yeah. It's going to be hard to top that. How did Tarassi play? Fire. I forgot what she had, but she went like eight for nine. She was a wedge home shot.
Starting point is 00:29:45 She lit him up. I'm what she had, but she went like eight for nine. She has a wet jump shot. Fucking, uh, I'm Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish Equifax. Ooh. Yeah. Juquifax. Juquifax, dude. That sounds like the name of like a hotep. Juquifax.
Starting point is 00:30:02 My name is Juquifax Jackson. It could be, it was like, like uh on the list of names for russell crowe's horses in uh gladiator oh it does also sound like jukewafax yeah jukewafax like a wizard would skip you yeah also can i say something about wizards that i was thinking how come there's so many witches in la and no wizards? What? Yeah. A lot of witches? I know so many girls who are like, I'm a witch. Oh, yeah. They self-identify as witches.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I don't know any dudes who are wizards. That's a good point. That's a really good point. I've never met- We need to go into this mystery. I'm saying there's got to be one. I've never met one dude who was like, I'm a warlock. People love Harry Potter.
Starting point is 00:30:43 There's heretic, warlock, wizard. I worry that You can be a wizard, you can be a warlock. I worry that one of them is like the N-word of the wizard. We're just saying it. Heretic, heretic, heretic. Thought they were good guys. Apparently not. They was over here ripping hooters.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Throwing heretic around. Like they don't know what it means. Ripping hooters. Down in wizards. They're fucking ripping hooters. Throwing heretic around. Like they don't know what it means. We're ripping hooters. Down in wizards. They're fucking ripping hooters and talking smack about wizards, dude. I'm not talking smack. I'm just, it seems crazy to me that there's no wizards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Like ever. I never met one dude. It's not very wizardly to tell you, you know? Yeah. I think so. They're mysterious folks. Yeah. Because of the robes?
Starting point is 00:31:22 Even, I don't think a witch would tell you either. But like, I'm not going to tell. Multiple witches tell me. I know they, oh, I mean, absolutely. I'm not going to, but I'm not going to tell these witches how to live their lives. But I feel like traditionally, a witch would maybe keep that to herself. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, witch be quiet.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Yeah. Dude, witches be shopping, if you notice. I don't even mean it like that. You got a whole story. You got the hot topic and everything. Witch, Torrid and whatnot. I don't have anything coming up. Just watch the Late Late Show.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Listen to All Fantasy Everything. Watch CBS in general. I think by the time this comes out, I don't know. We'll see. Keep your eye on CBS. Keep your eye on The Sparrow. Yeah, that's fucking it. It's that kind of podcast, for God's sake. Now, we are gathered here today in Glendale, California,
Starting point is 00:32:11 not only to smell like Spider-Man, but also to draft fictional skaters. A list that was so much harder during the light of day. Sean last night was like, you got that? And I was like, yeah, I fucking got that. Shut up. Yeah. Off top, I got that.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah, he was saying it over. You said it to me like three times. Like, you're good with that. And I was like, dude, shut up. And then I woke up today and I was like, fuck, dude. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Due to Sean and Donovan's natural proclivities for skateboarding,
Starting point is 00:32:43 this was maybe an easier list to put together. Also ours. We're in the world, but not like these two. I'm more of a rollerblader, honestly. Sean loves it. I mean, you saw mine right over there behind me. Stop it, David. I will not put up with this for the whole day. One of my favorite things about this podcast
Starting point is 00:33:00 is when Sean gives a deep cut skateboard reference, and the podcast just completely ignores him yeah you guys were doing states you got to Wisconsin you're naming all these famous people you guys are like yeah yeah yeah he goes Aaron Snyder you know he goes uh Tyrone Olsen you know T-Bone everyone shut the fuck up and then you just moved on yeah I'm like he went with Tyrone Olsen word he just did that we give him space you know for the listeners of him who do know to be like, oh, sick. And then Gluska is another one.
Starting point is 00:33:28 I can tell by like the dead air that everyone just looked at each other like, let's move on to the next stage. Yeah. We just, we got blind spots. I only know about the fat skateboarders. That's my thing. I bring up Olden Polonese. He doesn't know who I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:33:42 You know? I do. Fuck the Milwaukee. Speaking of Milwaukee, is that why you said Olden polonese no because you played for the bucks for a while oh i should vin baker though yeah yeah that was the same trade when they went to seattle remember oh that's right yeah ray allen i can't think of any other skaters from wisconsin right now joanne shenderly did joanne yeah joanne's from Wisconsin. So, yeah. For God's sake.
Starting point is 00:34:06 So, yeah. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. I'm shooting up. Play between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Sean wins anyway. God damn it. Sean wins anyway. Odd man out. Wait, you first? Yeah, well, no. I'm going to pick. I'm going to pick the order in a second.
Starting point is 00:34:24 So, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. And what kind of draft? Before you do that. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, man. What does incumbent mean? I will remind you.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Incumbent means it is your responsibility. It falls upon you. It also means already in a place. I feel like a silly goose today. It's also what you wear with a tuxedo. Yeah, an incumbent. An incumbent bunt. An incumbent bunt. An incumbent bunt. An incumbent bunt. An incumbent bunt. in a place. I feel like a silly goose today. It's also what you wear with a tuxedo. Yeah, in a cummerbatch. In a cummerbunch. In a cummerbunch.
Starting point is 00:34:46 In a cummerbunch. In a cummerbunch. In a cummerbunch. In a cummerbunch. In a cummerbunch. We all did a bunch of ketamine before you got here. Girl, if we...
Starting point is 00:34:54 Nah, dude. Even though David got here after you. Does ketamine put you down? I've never seen it even. Down, down. Way down. Way down.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Down, down. Deep in the ground. It is coming upon you to determine the order of the draft. Before you do that, I will remind you. It is a serpentine draft. Oh, I thought I was out.
Starting point is 00:35:16 What? God damn it. All day. What is that? That's a great question. What is that? Man, I got one job on this fucking podcast. So you drop in on a vert ramp.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Oh. You drop in and you go to the other side and you do a method that you could eat dinner off. But you stall it out in the air for like a second. You're just still. You're not a knockout. So you stop and then you come back down. Then you get to the other side.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Do a big fat front side stale fish. Stall it out for a second. And then you go back in, obviously. Then you go to the other side do a big fat front side stale fish stall it out for a second and then you you go back in obviously then you go to the other side do a christ air 900 yeah right in the middle yeah you stall it out just for a second oh yeah and then you and then you go back down and then you go to the other side you do an indie nose bone one of those like yeah oh yeah just straight out keep it there for a second. Then you go back down, and then you go to the other side. You do a judo, which nobody's done for quite some time. That's my juice right there.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Oh, kick the leg all the way out? Yep, and then you just kind of go back and forth. Man, I want a judo. Judo air is the sickest looking one. Did you see that kid that did a... You know that Puerto Rican judo? Judo? Judo no?
Starting point is 00:36:24 Basically what it is, you pick fourth in the first round. And then he goes, uh-huh. You don't remember what Cameron said? Why did you come up with that? Homeboy was fucked. How did you come up with that serpentine one? Like round robin technology exists.
Starting point is 00:36:36 You know this, right? The serpentine thing? It's just the most fair way to do it. Okay, okay. Serpentine. Did you see that kid that did a judo, I guess like board slide on that quarter pipe on Instagram the other day? No. So he just went that kid that did a judo i guess like board slide on that quarter pipe on instagram the other day no so he just went up and did like like a judo but stalled like a rock
Starting point is 00:36:51 and then slid fucking crazy oh that is so instead of his front foot sliding it was his hand using the weight and then he kicked his foot out like a judo sick and he slid for eight feet probably david and i are over here googling your skateboarding terms so we can follow along as best we can. Yeah, judo is just... That's what I'm talking about. The backside boneless is like the judo of stalls. That's my favorite one right there. Some old skate video, I forget which one it was,
Starting point is 00:37:16 but this dude goes into a skate shop, it looks like an old Hessian, and he's asking if he could see boards and then he would just grab the board and he'd put it like a judo just to see how it would like... Alright, I don't like this one. So Sean, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? Alright, so
Starting point is 00:37:31 Ian first, David second, Donovan third, I'll be fourth. Because I want you two to go first, just you know. Yeah, because we're bad. So you get the, you know, so it's not like I'm really curious where they go because we might take the easy one. Well, that's I'm going to take'm really curious where they go because we might take the easy one. Well, that's.
Starting point is 00:37:46 I'm going to take the easy one. I'm going to take a very easy one. I want to share my list with David. No. Dude, we have to draft fucking vegetables one time. What am I doing? That's a good point. We had to draft vegetables and I'm over here like, how many different times can I pick potatoes?
Starting point is 00:38:03 It's not quite the same. You're like, dry lettuce, wet lettuce. Yeah. French fries, hash browns. I follow some vegetables
Starting point is 00:38:12 on Instagram. No way. A potato that I threw at the wall. The dirt. Thrown up carrots. Did I ever tell you about that potato
Starting point is 00:38:19 I threw at my friend's car? That's like a rock. We went to Sweet Tomatoes, a soup plantation, as it's called down here, a salad and soup buffet for anyone who doesn't know either of those things.
Starting point is 00:38:30 And this was back when we were all living in Portland, early 20s. The 1920s? Huh? The early 20s? The roaring 20s. The roaring 20s.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Alcohol was illegal and Eisenhower was running this country into the ground. That's right. Pumping your own gas behind back doors and shit. Absolutely. I was making bathtub gin in a hotel that my father owned. Listen, all gin is bathtub gin if you do it right.
Starting point is 00:38:55 If you do it, you end up in a bathtub. We went to this salad bar and they had baked potatoes. We were out in Beaverton and I grabbed, for some reason, just because we were all into latent mischief. it was me and nick nan pay and our friend nate and a few of our other friends and i grabbed uh we all stole baked potatoes stole you can't steal from a buffet we put them in our kelly jordan can she'll put shit in a bag and it's not stealing it's fucking stealing yes we walked out with baked potatoes like we were going to eat baked potatoes later. Anyway, we went to a driving range and we hit some golf balls.
Starting point is 00:39:30 And we were... What a day. I didn't do that in high school. Is this Ferris Bueller's Day Out? We were in our early 20s, I'm saying. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it kind of is Ferris Bueller's Day Out. Anyway, we were in two different cars because there were like six or seven of us.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And my friend Nate... And Nate, for a backstory, he like was the first guy to start working. Like he got a job when he was like 14. That shit's always funny. He was probably paying off his own car at that point. And I had like some piece of shit that my dad bought me probably. And like, well, no, I bought my own car at that point too. Anyway, that part is not important. He was driving away.
Starting point is 00:40:02 And he was probably a good, like, Nate was also the friend who we all kind of, you know what I mean? Like the. The Shane before Shane. Yeah, kind of. You just give him shit, because it's funny. He's like, no, stop it. He's an awesome guy and one of our best friends.
Starting point is 00:40:22 But his car was probably, like, I want to say fucking 50 yards away, if not more. I swear to God that's true. This is not a Zach Toscani throwing a football football thing zach says he could throw a football 60 yards i beg to differ i think he can he's very strong he's so strong he's very strong he's got like core strength i know anyway i grabbed this baked potato that's wrapped up in foil and i'm like okay i know why i stole it now and i hooked it at my friend n Nate's car as he was driving away. And it hit his back, like the back passenger window.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Yes. But the window was like rolled down a little bit. Yes. So the potato hit the window right at the crack somehow. So half of it got on the outside of the car. And half of it exploded onto the inside of the car. And like covered everyone like fucking kennedy just got shot in there you're like hawkeye yeah it was fun it was crazy like i did
Starting point is 00:41:10 you're hawkeye his head was a potato dude and he stopped for a second and then squealed off and i was like oh no and then we got into our car and followed him and he was so fucking mad for real. Like no part of him thought it was funny. Oh man, that's so funny. He stopped in the Target parking lot. He was like yelling at me. He ran into the Target to blow off some steam alone.
Starting point is 00:41:34 And we were all in the back. I gotta go show. I'll be in Target for a while. I'm in the back of his car. I'll be in housewares. Getting potato out of it. That's the thing, man. You never forget a good bullseye.
Starting point is 00:41:44 No, man. It was fucking really dope, man. You remember every bullseye you hit. You never forget a good bullseye. No, man. You remember every bullseye you hit. You call back. That and then the other time when I sky hooked a Slurpee out of the passenger seat of a Honda Accord into the back of a Jeep that was next to us. That's pretty good too.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Two of my finest moments. You look like you'd be a solid potato chucker. Thank you. Yeah, I got it in me. I'm not as good as I once was. But I'm as good as I ever was. I still hang out with my best friend, Dave. You know that song you know what I'm talking about? That's what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Oh, okay. I'm not as good as I once was. That's my first pick? Holy shit. So with the first pick and the fictional skateboarders, all fantasy everything. I am on the clock. We'll get to that pick right after a short break.
Starting point is 00:42:29 This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing. Just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley.
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Starting point is 00:49:09 PolicyGenius.com. And we're back! With the first pick in the... It always feels so weird because it's me talking for so long when I do this and then it's my pick too. But with my first pick, fictional skateboarders, I have to take my fucking man from way back,
Starting point is 00:49:27 my man who's on my shirt right now. Yep. That was going to be mine too. I knew y'all were going to get that one, so I was going to skip it myself. Thank you very much. That's a classy one. I need it.
Starting point is 00:49:40 I'm like a vegan on a barbecue. My options are limited. The intro for The Simpsons where he skates off the hood, Frank Harada was the inspiration for that. No way. If I remember right, there was an interview where he said that, yeah, like Matt Groening or something saw him skating on the hood of a car or something.
Starting point is 00:49:57 And so Frank was like, yeah, I guess that was like he got that from me, which is pretty tight. Damn. So somebody fact check that if you want, but... No, don't fact check. I would... I'm pretty sure that that's what happened. Frank Roddy used to skate for Foundation back in the day. It was funny because
Starting point is 00:50:14 it was a character trait that gave him to be like, look at this little bastard. He was such a little bastard. He was such a little bastard. Yeah. He used to have a slingshot. What was skateboarding like? Was skateboarding big when The Simpsons came out in the early 90s? Or was that a peak or a valley?
Starting point is 00:50:30 It was still street shit. That was a valley for sure. That was when it was dying. That was before Questionable and before Plan B started up. It got real shitty. Not shitty, but it wasn't popular at all. It got real underground. Yeah. It was underground.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Do you think the fact that Matt Gretting is from Portland and like people were still skating in Portland, like influence that at all? I'd love to know why I would really love to know. I mean, I'm trying to actually think like if Frank Harada ever lived in Portland that I know of, and I can't remember where he came up or whatever,
Starting point is 00:51:01 but it could just be that he saw a kid skating. It was like, eh, skater, skater, kid. One of the funniest bits to me is the one where Bart goes to
Starting point is 00:51:10 hang out with Tony Hawk for a whole episode, right? And he goes, skate? Tony Hawk drops him off at school, and Bart just keeps saying his name. He's all, thanks, Tony Hawk. I just got to school, Tony Hawk. Thanks for the ride, Tony Hawk. He just keeps saying it, and Tony goes, all right, see you later, Brett. You just keep saying it.
Starting point is 00:51:22 And Tony goes, all right, see you later, Brett. Brett Simpson's a whole different character. Yeah, that's another dude. He doesn't have a skateboard. No, Brett Simpson plays lacrosse, dude. Did you have lacrosse in your high school? We did.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I didn't. We certainly didn't. Did you? I saw it on TV the other day for the first time. I can't believe that's what it is. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know. Now I saw't. We certainly didn't. Did you? I saw it on TV the other day for the first time. I can't believe that's what it is. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know. Now I saw it.
Starting point is 00:51:50 I'm like, that's what it is? What did you think it was? I don't know. It sounds like some type of basket. I thought it was horses at least. It looks impossible. It does seem like you would have horses. Lacrosse looks impossible. I don't know how you throw it.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I don't know how you touch it. You got to cradle it. You cradle it. So in sports and fitness class in high school, we had a lacrosse. Like, we played lacrosse for a week in it, and it's really fun. But then Chris White hit this girl in the face with the ball because the ball's kind of hard. Yeah, the ball's hard.
Starting point is 00:52:15 But yeah, when you're running, you've got to like. But there's a net. There's like a basket on the. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I don't understand how you throw it. Yeah, so like. Yeah, like that.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Like when you're running. You put a potato in there. To keep it in the net, you got to cradle it and then like when you get to there, it's pretty good. Pretty good. If I ever need
Starting point is 00:52:31 a lacrosse team, we get this guy. Yeah. We're playing pick up lacrosse. Cool guy lacrosse. I'm just saying, I'm at the gym, who's got next?
Starting point is 00:52:39 I knew dudes when I was a freshman in college because like, it was a, lacrosse was a sport, at least in Oregon, where a bunch of rich kids played it, but also rich kids who ended up being kind of burnouts.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Yeah. So who ended up at Southern Oregon University with me and Nick Manpay. So they would have pick-up lacrosse games. God, that's hilarious. Because there are all these guys whose parents were rich, but they kind of fucked up, so that was the best college they could get into.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Is it 5-on-5? I have no clue, dude. Me either. No. I don't know. Parents were rich, but they kind of fucked up, so that was the best college they could get into. Is it five on five? I have no clue, dude. Me either. No. I don't know. I know there's goalies, like dedicated goalies. Yeah, and they have bigger sticks.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Yeah. Goalie's got big sticks. Is that one of those cool guy jokes of yours? It's one of them. It's one of them. One of 87. I'm proud of my guy jokes. All 87. Proud of every joke. Oh, my I'm proud of my guy jokes. All 87.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Proud of every joke. Oh, my God. Hard work. Hard work. By myself. Every day. On my own. This thing is a game. There was a...
Starting point is 00:53:34 Speaking of games, there was a Simpsons skateboarding game. Yeah. On PlayStation. I think PlayStation 2. Really? Where you could fucking... Yeah, like, skate as a bunch of different Simpsons characters. There was only one video game...
Starting point is 00:53:44 There was only one skateboard game. There was only one skateboarding game on PlayStation. It was called Too Extreme. That's game. I had it. It was really bad. I bet it was. It's really, really bad. There's the Bartha Daredevil episode where he's going to jump over what's basically the Snake River Canyon.
Starting point is 00:54:00 What's the episode? And Homer does it. Oh, and then Homer does it. What's the episode where Homer is then Homer does it And Homer does it yeah What's the episode where Homer is on a skateboard And then he flies up and they start like fighting That's him vs Tony Hawk That is the Tony Hawk one Okay that episode was funny
Starting point is 00:54:13 Yeah man Yeah just a little son of a bitch Just a little son of a bitch I think that's kind of going away That stigma that people with skateboards are Little bastards Or nasty little bastards. Are nasty little bastards? Just little rotten
Starting point is 00:54:28 surly bastards. Just fucking unfortunate. Conniving. Malicious. Ruthless. Drunk bastards. Methodical bastards. Methodical. Now we're the geniuses. Yeah. Might as well have lab coats on. Dude, I wish it was cool when
Starting point is 00:54:43 I was in high school. It was just getting there, but it wasn't yet, and it was cool when I was in high school it was just getting there but it wasn't yet and it was still like I had to hear a bunch of choice words every time I brought my board like put it in my locker here are the words that you think I heard you know what was cool at my school? reading being a good student geography bees bro
Starting point is 00:55:00 maps dog there's a guy who is now a successful dentist who used to say the worst words to me. Now he's a successful dentist? Blow him up. Right now, name names. Cancel him. Cancel him.
Starting point is 00:55:15 So if you go to Dr. Jeffrey Roach DDS, just know he has some feelings about you. Cancel him. He's going on Twitter with this guy. Yeah, man. You got it. But 20 years ago. I shan't be canceling. I'm going's going on Twitter with this guy. Yeah, man, you got it. But 20 years ago. I shan't be canceling. I'm going to start beefing with this guy.
Starting point is 00:55:29 All right. Nobody's going to know it came from me. Or came from you. All right? Besides the 20,000 people a week. All right. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson.
Starting point is 00:55:41 My first pick. With the second pick, David Borey. I'm taking One of my favorite Fictional skateboarders Of all time He was always cool And he got the girl
Starting point is 00:55:52 I'm taking my man Max Goof Oh yeah From a group Oh Damn I forgot about Yeah he's
Starting point is 00:55:59 Goofy movie Yeah man he loved skateboarding Goof true And he loved that Puerto Rican dog He did love that Puerto Rican dog. And that made one of the funniest memes of all time. Which one?
Starting point is 00:56:08 Damn, bitch, you live like this? Yeah. Dirty-ass apartment. And they're dressed up like hype beasts. That's the best. He's got like an oncoming jacket. He's got like AirPods and shit. Damn, bitch. b-song it makes no sense but it's perfect yeah it's like it is really good it's up there with arthur's hand yeah yeah max goof man roxanne was her name roxanne was great yeah he was a good
Starting point is 00:56:41 friend he maybe he failed as a son but but that happens, you know, and he learned from it. You never fully fail. You just stumble along the way. Exactly. You know, him and Goofy's relationship. So was Goofy's name Goofy Goof? Yeah. Goofstein, I think.
Starting point is 00:56:57 That's like Mario. Like Mario, the Mario Brothers. Mario's name is Mario Mario. Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. And Goofy's Goofy Goof. Seriously? He's Goofy Goof? Wow.
Starting point is 00:57:06 I never thought about that. I never thought their last name was Mario. Because of course they're not. Yeah, Max Goof was his name. That was nuts. I've never thought about that. Damn. Luigi Mario and Mario Mario.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Oh yeah, dude. Everybody has Wikipedias. That's wild. I don't have a Wikipedia. Alias Super Goof. Nickname Dippy Dog. George G. Gief. What? Goofist D. Dog. Goofy G. Goof. Yeah. wikipedia alias super goof nickname dippy dog george g geef what goofiesty dog goofy g goof yeah you know what the fucked up part about goofy is goofy's a dog and he owns a dog yeah
Starting point is 00:57:34 oh shit damn that's fucking dark man he also owns that sick twisted mind. Yeah, man. That's like... Walt Disney, man. Crazy. Yeah, dude. Max Goof. I like it. Yep. Max Goof. Donovan, time for your first pick. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Ready for this? The inventor of skateboarding. Marty McFly. Damn it. Yeah. He goes back in time. Yeah. He gets a kid's little scooter, rips the shit off. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:00 And then I watched it. Dude, he busts so much shit. He pops the first all-in-all bush. When there's no there's no dollars on that board he hippie jumps an entire car like literally jumps and runs over everybody's heads yeah like uh what's that guy's name in um before they crocodile dundee oh yeah when he does the subway thing yeah but he did that over a car and then landed on a skateboard and then they ran into that whole truck of shit yeah and then he front sides slappy's a curb dude yeah marty mcfly who was that skating do you think i don't know i don't know either i think it was marty mcfly i'd yeah it was it was dope though and then he hands the skateboard back to the kid and go here you go kid and dude's all psyched and then skateboarding was born yeah he did it
Starting point is 00:58:38 that's probably did that make it a lot cooler people because probably kids were fucking seeing that movie like oh shit I gotta start skateboarding. I mean, he does it in the first one too because he's sketching off the car. That, it always kind of bugged me
Starting point is 00:58:52 because, and it still bugs me to this day, like people who skate in movies just, it's, let's hire somebody who knows how to push
Starting point is 00:58:58 the right way and fucking can actually stand on a skateboard and push and not look like a fucking moron. And so put their arms out like this and like balance like they're surfing. And they stand with their feet
Starting point is 00:59:07 pointing forward, both of them, and you're just like, that's not... Nobody's going from home to school like that and not showing up with a bloody nose. I'm going to start doing that at the barracks now. I'm going to start skating around like a 1950s with a wipeout plane in the background. So here's an answer for you. Producer Bob Gale, 50s just with wipeout playing in the background? Why?
Starting point is 00:59:27 So here's an answer for you. Producer Bob Gale, producer of the Back to the Future movies, went to Venice Beach, California to find skateboarding experts. He ended up hiring... Sounds insane. He ended up hiring skateboard champion Per Willender. Oh, Per Willender. Per Willender and Robert Schmelzer
Starting point is 00:59:43 as a stunt double for Eric Stoltz. When Michael J. Fox replaced Stoltz in the role of Marty, Charlie Crowell performed Marty's skateboard stunts during the refilming because of the height difference between Fox, who was six inches shorter than Stoltz. So Charlie Crowell was his stunt double in the whole movie. Oh, that dude does look like Marty McFly. And I guess he did the skateboard stunts,
Starting point is 01:00:03 even if he wasn't like a... Okay. Well, it's just because I think Michael J. Fox was doing the pushing. He was, yeah. And he just... That's what it says, yeah. Yeah. It would take like a week just like to push around a little bit, you know?
Starting point is 01:00:16 But I bet they just gave him a board that day and they're like, all right, so here's the scene for the day. It just bugs me. Yeah. It's a little nitpicky thing, but it just... Nitpick away, Sean. Like, give me a thousand bucks for thepicky thing but it just it always bothers me nitpick away Sean like give me a thousand bucks
Starting point is 01:00:27 for the fucking day I'll do it please you're too tall you're too tall yeah also they made that movie in like 1985
Starting point is 01:00:33 I was around it's too late for you oh I forgot you know that show Cold Case yeah I never seen it but
Starting point is 01:00:41 they want to do an episode about skateboarding so they hired Steve Barra to be like the talent coordinator so that the skateboarding would be represented. Good. Right? And so he hired a bunch of skateboarders and they filmed a scene in the barracks.
Starting point is 01:00:53 And they had me as an extra. Yeah. I'm in as the extra. But they took so many fucking times because, you know, when you're making someone laugh and you don't want to stop. Like, it doesn't matter. Dog. And Eric, dude. Eric Koston kept cracking up. And I'm like, I don't care if there's a big budget online.ic dude eric costan kept cracking up and i'm like i
Starting point is 01:01:06 don't care if there's a big budget online like dude cost is cracking up in the corner i'm gonna keep doing this shit and like that means more to me than almost anything i was like doing everything corny putting over my shoulder and like being all bossy or i put down my board and then like step on it mongo and go like one mile an hour away it just like looked like it was my first day skating all time and like they'd have to like okay let's retake this come on can you be serious please no i was like dude i was fucking doing that guy over there that i wanted to impress my whole life is laughing yeah so yeah meanwhile the director dude directors hate me i always walk around like i'm the director that's what i do when i go to the barracks i act like i'm the boss i go to my whole meetings and yell at people and shit yeah that's what i
Starting point is 01:01:48 do when i go to arby's same thing taking it out of people's ass dude i dude uh last week i yelled at everybody there because there's like 30 employees and i have not once seen a birthday party it's fucked up that's a good point it's fucked i've never walked in on a birthday cake nothing they keep it to themselves and it's fucked no gotta have a spreadsheet and it's a nice little thing to fucking get a cake at work every now and then it takes skateboarders a while to to get into confidence yeah because i've i've met a lot of the dudes obviously i know as much as you but like there seem like they're at that stage where it's like well no it's it's lame to have a birthday like no it's, it's pretty dope, actually.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Everyone gets cake. You get to not work for a couple hours. It was my birthday recently. They brought a cake from Sweet Lady Jane's into work. Yeah. I had a little piece, man. It was fucking a little slice of heaven. Marty McFly, excellent pick.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Fucking, do you think Michael J. Fox, do you think he kept skateboarding after that? No. Well, maybe. Here's the thing. If you learn how to push, you're already stuck. Yeah. Once you got a good push, you're like, I'll keep riding around. Right? Wouldn't you?
Starting point is 01:02:51 Well, he certainly would have had to develop that after they shot that movie because he didn't have one in the fucking movie. I'll tell you that right now. Oh, God. The shade. The shade. Damn. The fucking shade.
Starting point is 01:03:02 He was sketching in that movie, dude. Hey, Sean, are you going to go deep cut on this one, or are you going to go nice and easy I want to hear this deep shit you think you got yeah go deep Sean I want to hear some what do you think I'm not going to go wait what did you say
Starting point is 01:03:14 nothing you'll hear it on the podcast listen back I heard him first time anyone's ever said go deep Sean yeah that's what he said I'm not married so yeah no one's ever said go deep, Sean. Yeah, that's what he said. I'm not married. So yeah, no one's ever said that to me. I love it. Let's hear it, baby. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:35 So you'd be honest. You tell me if you're going to pick this. I'll show you if it's on my list of these eight. So in High Fidelity, which is my favorite movie of all time. Don't got it. There's these two skateboarders named Vince and Justin. So I'm just,
Starting point is 01:03:49 I guess I'll just pick Vince. So when John Cusack goes outside and he goes, he goes, where, where those little skate punks or no,
Starting point is 01:03:57 Jack, he goes into the record store and he goes, who is this? And Jack Black goes, it's those little skate fuckers. It's those little skate fuckers, Vince and Justin. And John Cusack's listening to the music and then Jack Black goes, it's those little skate fuckers. It's those little skate fuckers, Vince and Justin.
Starting point is 01:04:05 And John Cusack's listening to the music and then Jack Black goes, it's really fucking good. So then Cusack goes out and he goes, hey, you the two kids that come into my store? And they're like, yeah. And he goes, your music's good. And they go, yeah, I know, we made it. He goes, I'll put out your record.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Anyway, I've always liked that they were, because in the beginning of the movie, they were stealing shit. Yeah, that's right. Then he ends up producing their record. Then he has a record release party for them. That's when Jack Black sings that? Yeah, that's when Jack Black sings Let's Get It On.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Which also is in Josh Kalis' part in Heavy Metal. Little fucking tight end tribute. That has nothing to do with that, I imagine. Just fun for me. I like it. It's Skateboarders album release party party Jack Black's covering a song
Starting point is 01:04:46 that was in Josh Kalis' so I'll put Vince and Justin I mean I don't do they have a band name yeah the Kinky Wizards
Starting point is 01:04:52 oh the Kinky Wizards he goes what's your band's name Wizards there you go hell yeah but that was but that that was based in like
Starting point is 01:05:00 Detroit that movie Chicago oh never mind I never saw it I don't know I was just guessing favorite movie of all time of all time of all time he's better than space jam for me i think high fidelity is perfect i don't think there's anything have you heard the space jam soundtrack yeah everybody get up it's time to damn now you can't what's your girl do
Starting point is 01:05:22 you know what i'm talking about? Yeah. D'Angelo has a jam on there. D'Angelo has a jam on there. Method man has a jam on there. All three of you think Space Jam is better than High Fidelity? Greeting Earthlings. No. High Fidelity is much better than Space Jam.
Starting point is 01:05:39 No. He looks so sassy. What about Bill Burry? No. What about Bill Burry? No. I mean, come on. I mean. High F so sassy. What about Bill Burry? No. I mean, come on. High Fidelity is perfect. Soundtrack's killer.
Starting point is 01:05:50 John Cusack's amazing in that movie. All the characters are fantastic. Lisa Bonet kills it. Jack Black, that was the first time he really got to shine. I like the book better. I read the book. One of the few I've read. I've also read the book. I know. You just ripped that on him. It's a power move. I've never read it you, dude. I've also read the book. I know. I was going to say you just ripped that on him. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:07 It's a power move. I've never read it. Vincent Justin. I've only read the Quran. As we all know. He'd come out here every day reading little passages of the Quran. Sean, come for your second pick. Alright, so this was going to be my first, but I wanted to go deep. Okay. So, this is the first one. Brian Kelly, Christian Slater's character in Gleaming the Cube.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. That, to me, that movie started skateboarding. Do you know how to Gleam the Cube? It's nothing. So the movie was supposed
Starting point is 01:06:33 to be called A Brother's Justice. What? Well, because the whole point of the movie... Turns out Richard Ramtree had already made that movie. Yes, Ian!
Starting point is 01:06:43 Yes, Ian! That's the best! best man good for you that's fucking hilarious the couch is on fire right now man god damn it man that was david took his pants off that's like when you hear a good rap line and you gotta rewind it i hope they all rewind and hear the bars right there. Bars. On point, bro. So quick. I couldn't even get to it. I had it. Richard Roundtree? I've had a lot of confidence You dropped Shaft on it? That's right, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:15 You dropped Shaft on it? Shaft, yeah. Brother Justice. God bless it. God bless it. That was great. It'll be a good night. It'll be the Miami party tonight. Had to be on. It'll be a good night. I mean, the Miami party tonight, you know? Yeah, yeah. Had to be on point.
Starting point is 01:07:27 You're ready. I got a long day. Yeah, gleaming the cube means what? Nothing. Right? Have you ever known it to mean anything?
Starting point is 01:07:35 Because it, if you look, if you look, it doesn't mean shit. So, the reason it was supposed to be called The Brother's Justice
Starting point is 01:07:41 is because the whole movie is him trying to find out who killed his brother. That's right. You're damn right. I just like the character of the guy who doesn't know the difference between Glebe and the Cuban shaft.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Yeah, you know. The movie where he has sex with all those women. Yeah, the vigilante. He busts his shotgun out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one where Tony Hawk's a pizza boy. Yeah, shaft. I was That one where Tony Hawk's a pizza boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shaft.
Starting point is 01:08:07 I was watching Shaft last night. Those dudes can skate. So to gleam, to appear suddenly and clearly like a flash of light or to send forth a gleam or gleams is what gleaming means as a verb. So what's the cube?
Starting point is 01:08:19 So to appear suddenly, gleaming the cube. It's nothing. I swear it doesn't mean shit. I don't know where they got that title. I've never heard it mean anything in skateboarding. No one's ever said the cube for shit. That's the most skateboarding thing because skateboard companies, none of it means shit.
Starting point is 01:08:34 Yeah. They're like, what was this one called Zero for? What's this one called Toy Machine? It just makes shit up. I like the ones that mean something like blind. Do you guys know this? Blind is like a slight to vision skateboards. So shit like that's kind of fun.
Starting point is 01:08:44 So what? So blind skateboards, they made as like a fuck you to vision skateboards. Vision was like one of the first skate companies. Do they suck? No, I just like skate companies that have a name that means something. No, no, no. But I mean, did vision suck? Is that why they called it blind?
Starting point is 01:08:58 I really don't know why they were slighting them. But it was some backstory. I could be wrong, but I think, okay, vision was started and Mark Gonzalez was like part of that shit. Yeah. Like he was a main joint. But then like he had a falling out. So he started. So he started blind.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Blind. As a fuck you to the people that burned him. I could see that. Rocco started bitch for a while. Yeah. As a fuck you to girl. The harsh one. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:09:25 Skateboarding used to be so bucked. That's joker behavior. Oh, really? That's skateboarding. Used to be so Joker behavior. Yeah, that is Rocco was so nuts. I've told you guys this before, but like world industries used to have boards that, uh, they were slick. So like if you skated the board long enough,
Starting point is 01:09:35 it'd be like a girl in a bikini and you could like board slide off her top. So it'd just be like a naked girl. Whoa. Rocco is nuts, dude. He, yeah, he was tight.
Starting point is 01:09:46 So I'm, I'm'm I'm doing a little internet deep dive as I want to do yes wait hold on apparently wait skateboarding was savage
Starting point is 01:09:54 they introduced me to tits when I was a kid well dude look at the other than like movies in the 80s but like what were you gonna see tits in like the mid 90s
Starting point is 01:10:01 when you were a kid yeah Thrasher magazine full of tits you're like what I could buy this at the grocery store oh yeah they. Yeah. Thrasher magazine full of tits. You're like, what? I can buy this at the grocery store? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:07 They get naked in Thrasher? They used to. Look at Big Brother. Did you ever look at a Big Brother magazine? No, man. Grant Whitland had Big Brothers
Starting point is 01:10:14 and we would like fucking, yeah. They were so gnarly. They had the Big Brother video and it had like dicks in it and stuff. I was like, holy buckets, dude.
Starting point is 01:10:23 People pissing on cop cars. That's hilarious. It was gnarly. Speaking of Thrasher Magazine, the title of the film refers to the cryptic question, have you ever gleamed inside a cube that Gary Scott Davis asked Neil Blunder in an interview in the December 1983 issue
Starting point is 01:10:41 of Thrasher Magazine? What? Yeah. And then in the film, Christian Slater's character defines gleaming the cube as pushing your limits to the edge. I love pushing my limits to the edge. That's what I'm about. Yeah, man. You're into gleaming the cube is what you mean. Does Gary Scott Davis or Neil Blender mean anything to you?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Neil Blender, for sure. I don't know who Gary Scott Davis is. He was probably just somebody who worked for Thrasher. But Neil Blender. I like that name. Neil Blender mean anything to you? Neil Blender, for sure. I don't know who Gary Scott Davis is. He was probably just somebody who worked for Thrasher. But Neil Blender was... I like that name. Neil Blender? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:08 He was a very influential skateboarder back in the day. Have you ever gleamed inside a cube? That was too old for me. I honestly don't know who he is. Neil Blender, he invented the lean air. It was Neil backwards. So, yeah, that's what Neil Blender did. They probably just like stoned and goofing around during a Thrasher interview.
Starting point is 01:11:23 Yeah, I'm sure. That's where it came from. And then it turned into a fucking christian slater movie it means nothing with tony hawk and rodney mullen doing the tricks rodney mullen was up in there doing the tricks for christian slater escape yeah he was the freestyle one so like doesn't he ride and gleam in the cube at the end like a fucking like diamond plated yeah he put it's corrugated metal on that on that board that he goes into his friends by the way who has like a sewer layer when he goes into his friends and he's like, all right, man, you're going to need these wheels for bombing the hill.
Starting point is 01:11:49 And I think he hooked him up with like mad hard wheels. You're like, no, you want soft wheels. But also the top was corrugated metal. And you're like, that's insane. It could go faster. In the 90s, the end of it, there was a company called Lib Technology. Yeah, I remember Lib Tech. They made a thin like metal deck.
Starting point is 01:12:04 And after like a week of skating, the rounded edge became a sharp edge. It was like remember Lib Tech. They made a thin, like, metal deck. And after like a week of skating, the rounded edge became a sharp edge and was like a razor blade. Jesus. They were the metal boards, right? He would slice his shin
Starting point is 01:12:11 right at, like, legit. This kid, Mike Montoya, who lived in Sioux Falls, used to get free, if I'm right, they're the metal boards, right? Yeah. Yeah, so he used to get
Starting point is 01:12:18 free Lib Tech boards. He was really good and we'd try to skate on them. There's always a kid like that in small towns. He could do so much stuff on those boards. And we're like, dude, that's wild to me. He could have like a Lib Tech snowboard.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Yeah, there's no reason to. Maybe. Yeah, there's no reason to have a board like that. Yeah, I snowboarded. If you listen to this, sure. I'll pull some more of the mystery for you right now. In Elizabeth, sometimes we would take the trucks off a skateboard and ride it down a hill. So I snowboarded
Starting point is 01:12:46 as well. Yeah, you snowboarded, absolutely. I never saw this for real, but Rude swears to it that our old friend, um, Kleiner Joel, one of them, Aaron Kleiner Joel, used to put snowboards on the back of their car, on the back two wheels, and they would just peel around parking lots and, like, skid around because they had
Starting point is 01:13:01 snowboards under their tires. I don't know how that is possible. There would have to be so much snow for that not to like immediately. Yeah. Cell block 99. This is when you just catch edge. You would think this is something. So another story about this kid that I don't know, but rude swears to and rude's not a
Starting point is 01:13:18 liar. He parked his car next to like one of the pillars and like a Kmart parking lot. And then they plowed snow. He just let his car get buried and he left it there until the snow thawed. So his car was just buried in snow. Wait, Rude said both of these things? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Then they must have happened. Yeah, Rude's not, no, he's not a liar. He's a very serious gentleman. And also Joel's a fucking lunatic. I mean, he's an upstanding guy. Rude passes your, would you leave him in bed with your girlfriend rule? A hundred percent.
Starting point is 01:13:42 Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not even that great of friends with them. Yeah. I mean, there's, I have a thing with like people who are like supposed to be like your, your people.
Starting point is 01:13:51 Would you trust them naked in bed with your girlfriend or partner or whatever? And if you don't, then it's like, all right, then I'll only give you so much space. That's a good gauge system right there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Cause that's like the people that are, I trust the most. Like, yeah, I would. And some of you out there, I wouldn't. So, fuck it. You know who you are.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Damn, the cross just got that much tighter. It's a double cross now. It's time for that street justice. He's hooked his foot behind his ankle. A brother's justice, I say. A brother's justice, dude. 1971. Donovan, time for your second pick.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Okay, this one's pure off jealousy. I wanted to be one of these kids so fucking bad. Yeah. All right, you remember the first Ninja Turtle movie in 1990? Damn it. Not the Ninja Turtle, but when they go to the Foot Clan Hangout, and there's ramps in the Foot Clan Hangout. That little snake run?
Starting point is 01:14:42 I want to be one of those Foot Clan kids so bad. Oh, man. They were having such a good Clan hangout. That little snake run. I want to be one of those Foot Clan kids so bad. And they're kicking around. They were having such a good time. Dude. Not going to school. I just watched it today. I didn't want to graduate and become the Foot Clan member. I just wanted to be the one that was eating the Burger King,
Starting point is 01:14:54 playing the arcade, skating that ramp all day. And we said, whatever you want to do, do it. Remember that? I just watched that clip. I do, because I just watched today. It starts with an 11-year-old kid with a full cigar and is playing poker. Leaning down to shoot a pool and you're like,
Starting point is 01:15:09 I know 70-year-olds that can't do that shit. And that was 1990. That wasn't a trick cigar. That was Donkey Island. That's a good point. Say that again. It was 1990. That was not a trick cigar. That was a real-ass cigar. And they were yelling, like, inhale the cigar.
Starting point is 01:15:26 That little boy is just smoking. They're like, come on, do another take, kid. Can we get a little bounce off the corner? No, you cannot. You're a star, kid. If you want to get another kid in here. You're a star, kid. You're going to be famous.
Starting point is 01:15:38 Yeah, like, as soon as I saw that scene, I was like, that's what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be one of the Foot Clan kids. It's funny that the scale of bad. So bad so like there's the first shot with that kid puffing a huge cigar and then also like you said some kids eating burger king you're like one of those is a lot worse than the other one yeah playing out it was kids like loading guns and you're like well playing pool loading i don't know what's you know there's yeah and you get encouraged to have fun remember the the second in command? He's like, go play.
Starting point is 01:16:05 Remember that dude? Yeah. That gnarly, scary dude? No, they just wanted you to have fun. Yeah, because you're going to have to kill somebody later. Yeah. How are we sure the folklore weren't the good guys, really? I don't think we are. I'm not.
Starting point is 01:16:14 What crimes did they really do? I know. They were stealing shit, but... Who was it? Was that it? I saw it at Twix last week. I used to steal stuff all the time, and I'm a pretty good guy. I stole that Emmy.
Starting point is 01:16:25 A lot of people think I won it at Twix last week. I used to steal stuff all the time, and I'm a pretty good guy. I stole that Emmy. A lot of people think I won it. Like, if that movie was like, oh, they're going to take down the city and blow up a building. Right, yeah. No, they were just stealing petty shit, like wallets and TVs and radios. I can't really get too mad at the Foot Clan. Plus that Burger King. On the same time the Ninja Turtles had pizza, you really can't lose, you know? No, I was never mad at the Foot Clan. I just, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:46 I was on the Turtle side for sure. Yeah, for sure. Because of Mikey Nunchucks. Yeah. That was about it, you know? Mikey Nunchucks, dude. Mikey Nunchucks. David, time for your second pick. My second pick is from the hit television show Rocket Power. I'm taking Auto Rocket.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Auto Rocket? I don't know that show at all. No, I deleted that off my list because I was like, I don't think anyone's going to catch that one, but you straight up did it. Damn. Alright, I feel better about my list now. I remember the theme song to it. We are riders on a mission.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Action kids in fun condition. Rocket Power. And they had like the big fat Hawaiian guy I gotta show you a picture of all the rockets Sean Don't make it Don't have it be one of those dirty
Starting point is 01:17:32 It's not It's not You see those cartoon pictures sometimes I love the aesthetic of that show It's always like sunset Well that's frustrating Yeah and they lived in like Santa Cruz It was like a beach He's on's frustrating. Yeah, and they lived in like Santa Cruz or something.
Starting point is 01:17:45 It was like a beach. He's on rollerblades, David. Oh, no, they did everything. They did everything. They did all extreme sports. All right, I'm just saying this doesn't, Sean doesn't seem happy. How could I be?
Starting point is 01:17:56 Dude, he's not a rollerblader. There's another picture of him on rollerblades. No, no, that's the filmer kid. There's also pictures of him on surfboards. Yeah, but I'm scrolling past those. Yeah, but we're not talking about those, are we?
Starting point is 01:18:07 Yeah, but I'm ignoring that. Yo, he could do everything because that was the point of the show. Yeah, he could rollerblade on handrails. He could rollerblade on a mini ramp.
Starting point is 01:18:14 Yeah, man. Rollerblade on the bike trails. He had a sick combo. I don't even know what a rollerblade trick is. When I see Nyjah grind a rail like a thousand feet long i'm like rollerblade needs
Starting point is 01:18:26 to come back for him he would love that shit he's like the only one who just locks into a rail for like 900 yards yeah it i mean and you're not gonna catch this much but if you watch like if you look up new rollerblade videos it's crazy really oh really i thought they died we defeated them on wax i thought i just defeated them in 1999. Y'all did defeat Rollerblades. Yeah, you guys buried them. If there was a war, it's over. There was a war, and we defeated them. Now all the professional Rollerblades
Starting point is 01:18:54 are like French. You know what I mean? I don't know why. Every now and again, you'd see one at the park in Portland or somewhere and you'd look at all the kids' faces with skateboards and it was like they were watching somebody violently vomit.
Starting point is 01:19:11 They'd look on their face and they're just like, God. So frustrated. So mad. We can't do anything about it. It's just such a bummer. Me and my friend Brandon Carroll used to rollerblade everywhere.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Not even for tricks, just for like, this is a mode of transportation. A lot of people really love rollerblading. And it was so frustrating. You dropped a clip skating up and down a block. I'm still nice with it. I was dying.
Starting point is 01:19:35 Those are some big ass rollerblades. Big feet. Big feet. I originally got those to race James Marsden in a rollerblade race. But he backed out of it because it was a health risk. And we ended up doing a push-up contest instead. Can you rollerblade backwards? No.
Starting point is 01:19:49 I could back in the day. I don't think I could anymore. You play like roller hockey and stuff too? You play roller hockey? Yeah, yeah. I can still roller skate backwards. Really? Are you a big roller skater?
Starting point is 01:20:00 When I was a crib, that's what we did. We went to Carousel all the time. We went to the skating rink every Friday I want to go ice skating I never did that shit ice skating is so hard I'm good at ice skating my ankles would never
Starting point is 01:20:15 I could never get it to where my ankles weren't I go fast I got to the point where they like told me to slow down to Lloyd Center and stuff really do you have
Starting point is 01:20:22 like a good pace yeah because you have big ass legs yeah so you're just pushing pump Paulo? Yeah. Because you have big ass legs. Yeah, so you're just pushing. Pump, pump. Paulo Odo style. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:28 You guys all have like pretty harsh winters in your hometowns. Yeah. Was there ever like areas where you could actually ice skate on the streets? Like, you're like,
Starting point is 01:20:36 oh, peace out. I'm going out of here. You can ice skate. Portland, like the winters were mostly like in the 40s. That would probably happen where you grew up though. You could ski.
Starting point is 01:20:42 Like there were people that could ski down the streets. Oh, where? Like my stepdad would do that shit. You could ski. There were people that could ski down the streets. My stepdad would do that shit. You could just go out and ski, but there wasn't ice everywhere. Elizabeth doesn't have ponds like that. Yeah. I guess you could probably
Starting point is 01:20:56 swim it. I guess you could probably next to the skate park of Elizabeth, that pond down there, you could probably skate. Yeah. I wouldn't feel safe Skating on any bodies of water in Portland I personally would not feel safe
Starting point is 01:21:10 No never anywhere My older sister What were you going to say? I was going to say though I have been ice fishing But it is kind of scary You don't like ice fishing? No I don't like going out on lakes and shit That's terrifying to me
Starting point is 01:21:24 Especially because you'll be walking across and you can like, the ice does crack. Well, yeah. People don't know that. And it like shoots out. Yeah. It's like really far. So like, you'll be walking and you'll just feel a crack.
Starting point is 01:21:36 Like, it's like, it's kind of scary. It happens all the time. You can look down and see my uncle's lake in his backyard. They'll go out there and snowmobile and shit. And I'm just like, you can see all the cracks. There's thousands of them. You can just see them everywhere. My older sister told me some shit.
Starting point is 01:21:49 She took my niece to fucking Alaska just on like a mother-daughter trip. Wanted to go see wolves. My niece loves wolves. And they were like, there's apparently someone like- The wolves, they call to her. The wolves, they call to her. Apparently there was some like, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:06 I was viciously hungover when she was telling me this story. But Amanda, too, there's, like, some sight you want to see, but you have to walk across a huge, like, frozen lake to get there. And, like, she couldn't see anyone. She could just see, like, footsteps going out. And then, like, a mile across this lake, she saw some woman, like, kind of running towards her. Not running running but just
Starting point is 01:22:25 like fucking bailing you know yeah and uh they were like what's going on she was like oh you know the ice is breaking up pretty good actually like this like native alaskan they're trying to not die not uh not like america not indigenous but this woman from alaska like a hard woman hard woman who was like being real casual but the fact is like fucking lake was falling in and uh my sister was like let's turn around and my niece was like yeah i didn't want to go here in the first place uh she wanted to go to alaska just on that spot um yeah man it's pretty funny it's pretty fun i have a lot of good stories actually so auto rocket looked a little bit like chucky from rugrats. Yeah, he looked crazy. But that show is so much fun. I love that show.
Starting point is 01:23:07 It was dope. Yeah, it was a good one. My turn to pick my second and third picks, as it is, a Serpentine Draft. I'm going to go ahead and take Mikey Nunchucks, dude. If we've waded into the Ninja Turtle territory, I got to take the most radical of all the Nunchucks. Do you think he was the most radical?
Starting point is 01:23:23 I do. Yeah. Yeah. Michael, Nunchucks look the coolest. I'm not just saying that but they just do orange one but also they can say you were a rafael guy that's because you burn hot with fiery passion i do i absolutely do and i always have i did back then rafael was mad passionate identify more with rafael than michelangelo who's your guy man i fucked with the Bo staff, the smart guy. I'll tell you that for you. They all have the same ninja training, except for he's a genius.
Starting point is 01:23:51 Yeah, exactly. He can build shit. Yeah, yeah. That's why I go with Don. They're just teens. Yeah, they're just chilling. They're just at-risk youth. They also have the Don Don connection.
Starting point is 01:24:00 It's not to scale back. No, it was. That kind of connected. He had your name. But he didn't did he was it like I look like Raphael was it like
Starting point is 01:24:11 Michelangelo rode a skateboard and none of the rest of them did they all could they all could skate but Mikey was always on that shit
Starting point is 01:24:17 he was the nicest with it and he loved the pizza pies he loved well yeah he loved the pizza the most he liked skateboarding the most he was the biggest like burnout
Starting point is 01:24:24 he was the funniest dude like he would definitely listen to sublime the way you know they came up with that word cowabunga no the one of the writers for the show of the cartoon was like trying to think of a scene of someone yelling something when they jumped out of a hole and he just randomly came up with cowabunga really just said cowabung cowabunga? No shit. He came up with that, and then Bart Simpson's known for it now and shit. But is it fucking Ninja Turtles? It was like 19... Like, the show aired in like 1987. In 1987, he just fucking...
Starting point is 01:24:55 He just came out. Cowabunga. That's wild. That's a fun word. That is a fun word. I'm going to start saying it. Cowabunga. I don't know if you say it like that.
Starting point is 01:25:02 Isn't that how Bart used to say it? No. Cowabunga. What did you just say? He said cowabunga. Cowabunga. I don't know if you say it like that. Isn't that how Bart used to say it? No. Cowabunga. What did you just say? He said cowabunga. What the fuck are you talking about? That's like you just sat down at a diner and somebody just put a big pot pie in front of you.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Yeah, yeah. Cowabunga. I didn't realize I was this hungry until just now. Oh, sure. That's what I say after a brother's justice. Once I get done and the smoke is coming out of my shotgun, cowabunga. Cowabunga.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Yeah. Across 110th Street. So Michelangelo. Yep. Yeah, even though Raphael and the size. Well, that's the thing about the nunchucks. Also, size is like the one I don't think I could like just pick up and fuck somebody up with.
Starting point is 01:25:48 No, no, no. I'll fuck you up with a stick. You ever picked up a thigh? Because you could. They're heavy. Yeah, they're heavy as shit. Really? But you know what the point of them is?
Starting point is 01:25:56 They're defense. Disarming, right? Yeah, you're supposed to grab swords with them and twist. Oh, that makes sense. So like when someone swings a sword, you can fucking rip it out of their fucking arm. Torque. You can use some torque. And then it's fists.
Starting point is 01:26:09 Yeah, then it's fists. That's my comfort level. David was the fifth Ninja Turtle. Dave and Buster, those are my two weapons. I said cowabunga. They didn't like it. They exiled me. Cowabunga, bro.'t like it. They exiled me. Cowabunga, bro.
Starting point is 01:26:27 I wouldn't fall in line like the other fucking turtles. Yeah, I wasn't a fucking cello. My next pick. Maybe a little bit controversial. But I can tell you a few things about him. I'll give you some details. You don't need to have details. I just want to give you some details about him. I'll give you some details. You don't need to have details. Some of these I haven't got any details on.
Starting point is 01:26:45 I just want to give you some details about him. He was a boy. Oh, who was she? A see you later boy? He was a punk. Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of here! That was on my list. Can you make it a little more obvious? He was a skater boy.
Starting point is 01:27:02 He said see you later boy. She said see you later boy to him. That was on your list? Skater boy a skater boy yeah right here on my list boy yeah she said see you later boy to him you know that's on my list from skater boy yeah dude skater boy he got the sweetest revenge didn't he what happened on mtv like come on who doesn't like that he fucking made the come up man yeah the skater boy he was like skating around dating this girl i got a theory he did ballet yeah there's only one skater who really like rocked the fuck out on MTV is Bam Margera. Was she rapping about Bam Margera? That would be way in.
Starting point is 01:27:31 Who the fuck else was rocking out on MTV? Nobody. Other than Bam Margera. Some 41 and things like that. Did they really skate or did they just film that thing at a skate park? What?
Starting point is 01:27:41 The video for Fat Lip. What? They filmed the video for Fat Lip at a skate park, right? Really? They weren't skating. They were the video for Fat Lip At a skate park right? Really? They weren't skating They were just like hanging out at it I can't remember
Starting point is 01:27:48 I was just saying a band Am I wrong? Not everybody who filmed Pink also had a song At a skate park I loved that song though You remember that song? Don't want a man
Starting point is 01:27:58 With a ching ching I just want Something bling bling I just want Real love Oh yeah We should go see Pink Pink's got some cuts
Starting point is 01:28:06 That was her first That was Pink's first hit Yeah And I heard her live show Is like nuts That was bringing The coming aerial stunts And shit
Starting point is 01:28:16 Like Yeah her live show Is supposed to be like crazy You need to bring Aerial stunts back Remember when people Be on wires and shit All the time
Starting point is 01:28:22 I'm seeing That's why Come to my comedy shows guys You're gonna see that shit You should have you on wires But just all the time that's why come to my comedy shows guys you're gonna see that shit you should have you on wires but just like an inch off the ground your feet are just dangling like a marionette puppet it's the same exact act i'm just yeah we slide you out and then you do the whole act just like that high off the ground just your feet just dangling i would do i would do i would do comedy in the air you know it's maybe less of a skate park and more of like a uh active construction site that somebody set some like rusted metal ramps up in.
Starting point is 01:28:49 That's most skate parks back in the day. Right around that time, that was what they fucking looked like. But yeah, Avril Lavigne's Skater Boy. I met Avril Lavigne once, by the way. Such a nice person. Just a sweet, sweet person. I can see that. I always think she's mean, but it's because of those pictures of Avril lavigne meet and greet versus rihanna's meet and greet what's that like
Starting point is 01:29:09 you can google it it's like pretty popular avril lavigne's meet and greet she's like five feet away from all her fans and like every picture like they're not touching rihanna's hugging people like grabbing their asses and like bending them over and shit i think rihanna's a little buier than Avril Lavigne. Man, Rihanna's my heart. Yeah, Rihanna. It's hard to compare. Rihanna's king and queen.
Starting point is 01:29:30 She's both. Yeah, for sure. Rules the world. Oh, my God. Some of these Rihanna meet and greets. I got to go meet Rihanna. I got to grab each other's butts. That's what I said, man.
Starting point is 01:29:40 Is she coming to the next Comic-Con or something? Where we go? Man, I just want to be. If I could somehow figure out a way to be in the same room as Rihanna... It'll happen. I don't think you're that far away. I think you need to carry yourself as though that could happen any day. Because it could happen any day.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Listen, I'm wearing a sweatsuit. All right, yeah, that's true. Okay, you're right. Sean? No. Skater Boy, yeah. The Skater Boy skateboarded, got his heart broken, turned into music, rocking're right. Sean? No. Skater boy, yeah. The skater boy skateboarded, got his heart broken, turned into music, rocking on MTV.
Starting point is 01:30:10 Yeah, that's a good life. Probably with Dan Margera. David, what's your third pick? My third pick, I'm taking Roach from Next Friday. Whoa. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't let Pinky come in here and catch you doing that
Starting point is 01:30:24 F game shit off the counter. Sure. And he busted his stitches. He said, you busted your stitches. You can't get your money from your bitches. Justin Pierce, man. Rest in peace. Is he dead?
Starting point is 01:30:34 Killed himself. Damn. In Las Vegas. I'm reading about it right now. He was also in kids. Yeah. Somebody might come up later. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:42 That's all my bad. Well, we all know. As there are not a huge amount of pics. Yeah. There's more than I thought, though. No, there are. But yeah. So he was actually good at skateboarding.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Really? He was in a Zoo York video. He had a couple tricks in the Zoo York video. Part of the original Supreme crew. I think Mixtape was the video that he had. But he did like a frontside shove it and like a half cab over a garbage can, I think. So how did he get it next Friday?
Starting point is 01:31:05 It might come up later, how he got cast in next Friday. Oh, because it was from something else? Maybe. Oh, okay. It better come up. Is your next pick? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:31:16 I feel like you've outed what your next pick is going to be. No, I'm just saying. You'd be real mysterious about this. Yeah, well, someone might get into it. Well, now if nobody else does, you have to. You can't give our listeners blue balls like this. Yeah, well, someone might get into it. Well, now if nobody else does, you have to. We can't give our listeners blue balls like this.
Starting point is 01:31:27 Okay. I feel like he'll come up later. Okay. Donovan? He's teasing this thing like it's a credit to the Marvel movie. Yeah, it's like Nick Fury was a skateboarder. Your whole energy is shifted right now. Because the heat's on me.
Starting point is 01:31:42 You guys are all looking at me. I don't like it. I can't cross my legs any tighter. looking go outside everybody go outside i'm gonna call my mom mom is everything cool tell me it's cool oh man i think so so it's my pick for the third one yeah don't tell me your third pick i can't believe you guys didn't go with this one it's such a on the top of your third pick i can't believe you guys didn't go with this one it's such a iconic one david spade's character in police academy 4 oh shit he shows up and the cops are like get the fuck out of here get the fuck so he and his friends go skate around town and it's like five minute skate montage not to do with any plot there's no lines no nothing it's just
Starting point is 01:32:19 the bones brigade skaters as stunt doubles of them. And they're fucking the town up. Destroying the city. Police Academy 4? Huh? Police Academy 4? Yeah. Citizens on Patrol. And check this out.
Starting point is 01:32:32 Which one is that? What's the plot of that one? They get citizens to start being cops. Tony Hawk is the escape double in it. Yeah, but get this. He kind of wasn't. They hired him. No, but check this out.
Starting point is 01:32:43 He kind of wasn't. Yeah, I got some insight on this. Yeah. He was going to be his stunt double because they had the whole Bones Brigade crew, but his thing, David Spade, I never met him, but he's like, what, 5'1"?
Starting point is 01:32:53 Yeah, he's a little... Tony Hawk. Tony's tall, right? Tony Hawk's like 6'5". Is he that tall? Yeah. Taller than me. He's like 6'5",
Starting point is 01:33:02 but 6'4 1⁄2 is some shit. That's crazy because Sean hates tall skateboarders. Really? They look fucking stupid for sure. I always wanted to be shorter. It works with him.
Starting point is 01:33:09 Tony Hawk was amazing. It's different, but like Ron Whaley didn't look that great when he's taller. You know what I mean? Anyway. But anyways,
Starting point is 01:33:16 yeah, so they got him on set and then they stood next to each other and they're like, yeah, you can't be his stunt double. You're a foot and a half taller than David Spade.
Starting point is 01:33:25 And so he ended up being like in some scenes, like in the credits, skating around. But they had some other guys stand in for him. And he was bummed because get this. If you skated around, just pushed, you got a certain amount. But they had a list of tricks that if you did these, you got bonus money. And so he said his friends Steve Caballero and Lance Brown were cashing out, doing like bonuses. They're there grinding every step. Like they were just cranking out that dope.
Starting point is 01:33:49 And Tony Hawk's watching like, fuck, they're just cashing out right now. And he can't make any money off of it. Oh man, that sucks. That's hilarious. So that was a night. This movie came out in fucking, does it not even have a year on Wikipedia? Oh, 87. So Tony Hawk would have needed the money at that point?
Starting point is 01:34:06 Yeah. Well, God. He always needed the money. I don't think he needed it. Yeah. He was number one since he started. Tony Hawk's been doing all right. Since he was like 12, he was number one.
Starting point is 01:34:13 He's been all right since then? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you've ever heard this. So I was at a trade show one time in San Diego, one of the old ASR shows. ASR. Right when Tony Hawk's Pro Skater came out
Starting point is 01:34:21 and I was up playing it, he came up and played me and I beat him. It's crazy. I beat Tony Hawk at Tony Hawk. It was fucking tight. Does Malloy not believe that story? Cause I saw him tweeting about it last night. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:34 No, I don't know. Come up last night. No, it didn't. It didn't come up last night. What? Oh,
Starting point is 01:34:39 well, it's going to come up tonight. I'll tell you that. Fucking that old, as well as two Dukes. Yes. As well as Dave and Buster. Knock his brick-breaking
Starting point is 01:34:48 ass out. That's what's going to happen. Oh, man. David Spade? Kyle Rumford is his character's name. David Spade's got to be one. Sean, time for your third and fourth picks. So my third pick, I should have looked it up. I forget his name in the movie
Starting point is 01:35:06 but it's Breckenmire in Clueless You guys remember him in Clueless? His name is Travis Travis So that was like right when I started skating that movie came out and he bombed so he has his board the whole time but then like halfway through the movie they go to this party
Starting point is 01:35:21 and he comes out and bomb drops this rail and I was like what the fuck did that dude just do? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even know you could do it. He just like holds his board by the nose and jumps on it while it's on the rail and board slides down the rail. Was it actually Breckenmire? I highly doubt it. I'm sure it was like,
Starting point is 01:35:37 probably Tony Hawk or someone. I mean, honestly, I don't know who it was, but yeah. I just remember seeing that like that was so dope. I just, I loved it. I never could do it. I still, I've never done that. Like, that was so dope. I just, I loved it. Can you do that? I never could do it. I still, I've never done one. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:35:49 That's like, you already grabbed it. Never done one. That's like the easiest way to do it. Never done it. I was always way too scared to try it. I tried it switch a few times just because it felt more natural to hold it with my right hand.
Starting point is 01:36:00 But it terrified me. So much easier for me to ollie up on to a rail when I could do it. But yeah. Could you ollie up on a rail today? Give me a week. I could frontside. There's a rail at the Galleria that I'm like, I could frontboard that rail. In the mall? No, it's so if you... That mall is nice to skate. It is.
Starting point is 01:36:17 I always look at the stairs because I used to go there every day for lunch and I'd look at the stairs like, these are perfect. So there's a rail in the back. There's like this brick kind of six stair that curves and these rails are just perfect. They're like mid-thigh height. Kind of mellow, but I really think if I
Starting point is 01:36:33 had like a week of really giving a shit, I could still do it. You don't have a job now. Yeah, you could. I also don't have health insurance. You're listening to the job right now. Isn't that park right there like somebody filmed a park there? Yeah, so that park right over there
Starting point is 01:36:48 is where Malto hard flips over the rail. Oh, that's right there? It's like two blocks away where Jack Black does that where he's the cameraman. Yeah, Jack Black. He goes, listen, what you're doing is important,
Starting point is 01:36:57 but it's not crucial. What I'm doing is crucial. Oh, that clip? That's right there? Yeah. Mo, give me a taste dude back in 2015 Breckenmire posted a picture
Starting point is 01:37:07 of him with a skateboard from Clueless oh my god with Marvin the Martian I would no way kill for that thing cause that's his whole thing
Starting point is 01:37:13 Claire sees his notebook or no it's Brittany Murphy's character sees his notebook and she's like oh my god you did all these drawings of Marvin the Martian
Starting point is 01:37:20 and yeah damn RIP Brittany Murphy RIP Brittany you did all these drawings of Marvin the Martian yeah so yeah that's my third Brittany Murphy. RIP Brittany. You did all these drawings of Bob and the Martian? Yeah. So yeah, that's my third. What was the thing that made him want to jump
Starting point is 01:37:29 out a window and kill himself? I forgot. Who? He got like an F right when they were passing out report cards or something and he's like, oh no, and he runs over and tries to open the window. A little dramatic. And he also wasn't going to die. Second story. I don't think that was going to do the trick. Probably wouldn't.
Starting point is 01:37:45 There is a fly in here. It's fucking me up, man. A little dramatic. Also, he wasn't going to die. Second story. I don't think that was going to do the trick. Probably wouldn't get it. There is a fly in here. It's fucking me up, man. It is a agrofly. It's not scared of me. It's not scared to land on my legs. For my fourth pick, then, I'll do Casper from Kids.
Starting point is 01:38:01 That's what I wanted to pick. You get it? Nobody saw Nobody saw I just grabbed it and I didn't think I had it in my hand and I opened it up and it flew away You're a ninja master you know that? Yeah man I guess so
Starting point is 01:38:15 This black belt belongs to you now Funny how nobody saw it Shut up Sean Shut up Sean Real quick This is from something called Flare, which is like an online magazine. So when Ian said Flare,
Starting point is 01:38:32 his hands... His hands shot out. His hands did what you're picturing they did. And it's from an article called 20 Totally Buggin' As If Facts About Clueless. Nice. And it says that production was pretty much drama free save a couple of sick days and a sprained ankle production had to be shut down for two days tell
Starting point is 01:38:52 me he really did uh when silverstone was sick and breckenmeyer sprained his ankle on a half pipe while doing his own skateboard stunt dude i just got goosebumps a little bit he did it that i love that because you heard me complaining earlier About Back to the Future I love it that someone could do that And by the way I was really good at skating for a while And that was terrifying to do a bomb drop On a rail or Like vert skating I mean that half pipe in there was
Starting point is 01:39:16 Fairly big if I remember it right Like 6-7 foot Yeah I've never dropped in on a vert ramp I think 10 foot quarter pipe once But like no vert Breckenmire yeah so Casper from kids I'm pretty sure is how he got cast in next Friday
Starting point is 01:39:31 because he was in kids as Casper skating and I'm sure there's another connection in there somewhere but like that had to be it right they were just like hey there's a skateboarder in this movie probably yeah let's have him do it let's get the guy from Kids. He was so
Starting point is 01:39:46 the opposite of Casper from Kids because Casper was a fucking scumbag. And I only pick him because he could actually do tricks and that was also just one of the movies where I'm like, oh, skateboarders. And Kids is such a complicated movie because when I was a kid I thought it was cool because none of that hit me. The gravity of
Starting point is 01:40:03 what was going on, I was just like these kids are just like pissing on the wall out like skating all day smoking weed this is dope and then you watch it when you're older and you're like dude they were horrible but it's also a good message like this is what happens if you go unchecked I still haven't seen kids me neither yeah it's
Starting point is 01:40:19 a good watch everyone's like it's super gnarly and I'm like rarely in the mood for that I think they should be able to show it it's a little too buck for school but it's if you watch. Everyone's like, it's super gnarly. And I'm like, rarely in the mood for that. I think they should be able to show it. It's a little too buck for school, but if you watch it the right way, it gets a good point across. That's how I'm with Space Jam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched it as a kid.
Starting point is 01:40:34 Loved it. Then I watched it later. I'm like, wow. They got their powers stolen? They got their fucking powers stolen? Oh, that's funny. So Casper from Kids. Is he like a really good skater in it i guess he
Starting point is 01:40:46 was the dude who was part of the supreme team in zoo york so yeah i mean he does tricks you know that's like more than most people could do but he was just also really good in that movie yeah even though he played a horrible person really good role in the movie and it just made an impression on me when i was a kid and i said i was was going to pick it, so that's kind of why I wanted it. So he explained, so this Casper guy, the guy from Next Friday. Justin Pierce was also in Kids. He was the guy that played Casper from
Starting point is 01:41:14 Kids. I knew you were going to pick Kids. He double dipped on the actor. He's on here twice. But I'm sure that's why he got cast in Next Friday. Somehow. Meanwhile, I have two cartoons and someone from a song. And not Daywon. Who's your...
Starting point is 01:41:32 Dude. I got you. Good on you. You're throwing lasers to me. You are. It's like you're going to Miami party tonight. I'm still shook from that Richard Ramtre. I might be.
Starting point is 01:41:42 It was like 20 minutes ago. I'm focused. I'm focused, man. I've been on hiatus for a week. You know, the brain starts coming back together.
Starting point is 01:41:50 Excellent. Donovan, tell me your fourth pick. How many picks are we going? Because I want to do five. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:41:56 My pickings are already getting slim. Oh, slim. I'm going with Justin Bieber. Wait. Wait. He's real. He's real. He's a real person? Yeah, man. I'm going with Justin Bieber Wait Wait What? He's real
Starting point is 01:42:06 He's real He's a real person? Yeah man Wait He's real dude Oh my god Okay hold on That fucked up my whole thing
Starting point is 01:42:15 I didn't know I gotta move some shit around I love that Wait Alright I'm going with my favorite skater of all time Spider-Man Fuck i was gonna take spider-man later you can have him no no no no no no no you take your two generous you keep spider-man
Starting point is 01:42:32 dude it was in tony hawk pro skater 2 you beat the game you get like a bonus code or a cheat or something like that you know like you beat it with a regular pro like you get like moon physics and stuff when you beat it with a custom character, like, you get, like, moon physics and stuff. When you beat it with a custom character, it goes, you unlock Spider-Man. You're like, what? Dude, that just... Yeah, the game changes. Spider-Man is the greatest skateboard of all time. Dude, when he kicks it and then...
Starting point is 01:42:56 And then he whips the biatch back. Yeah, you're just like, of course that's what Spider-Man's gonna be doing. But I don't know if this counts because as fictional, because I recently... There's video. But I don't know if this counts as fictional because I recently... There's video proof. I don't know, Sean. I think you've seen it.
Starting point is 01:43:09 I got Tony Hawk to admit that he is Spider-Man. Yeah. Spider-Man 6'4"? Yeah, he admitted it. I came to him with proof and evidence and cornered him. And there's video. And I've written proof, too. Because he gave me an autograph and he wrote Spidey.
Starting point is 01:43:25 When you have cologne proof, too. Because he gave me an autograph and he wrote Spidey. But. When you have cologne proof too. Yeah. That's technically Tony Hawk cologne. I was like, why does it, you smell exactly like this. Tony. Tony. Or should I say Spider-Man?
Starting point is 01:43:35 Why do you smell just like your cologne? Also, Spider-Man skateboards in the new movie. In the home cut, right? See, that's what I'm saying. Because like, here's how, this was the mystery that I cracked. I noticed that's what i'm saying because like here's how this was the mystery that i cracked i noticed that he skates the same way same style but then once i had tony in front of me i was like okay i got the final piece of the puzzle because i met spider-man one time came to my recent birthday party my last birthday party it was a spider-man themed
Starting point is 01:44:01 birthday party we had like spider-man napkins i don't know how he has a napkin company, but I know how tall he was. So I went back to back with Tony. Same fucking height. Same height as Spider-Man. And he like, you fucking got me. Dead to rights. Damn.
Starting point is 01:44:15 I was Spidey this whole time, but he said, I can't tell anybody. So forget I said that. And I know who Spider-Man is. I can't tell you. Or Dr. Leave it in Marissa, but like, well, like.
Starting point is 01:44:26 Just bleep out the parts. Put a threat. Put a pretty stern threat at the beginning and at the end of this. Please. You'll be like, yikes. If you tell anyone. A stern Canadian threat. Please don't listen. But it's okay if you do. Yeah, fucking Spider-Man. David, time for your fourth pick. Alright.
Starting point is 01:44:42 Oh, alright. Oh, my fourth pick is... A skater you drew on piece of paper? Yeah. I wrote a comic book on my way here. Where is he going with this one? I think he's hit the bottom. He's just going to make it up.
Starting point is 01:44:56 Rodney Recludes from Skate or Die. The one with the mohawk. You gave up. You went to a skateboard movie. Is that his name? I never knew he had a name. I didn't know what his name is. I had to look it up.
Starting point is 01:45:07 But I had that game on Nintendo and I liked the song too. Oh, yeah. Skate or die. Yeah, with the Mohawk. Skate or die, die, die, die, die. Yeah. Yeah, and it was like
Starting point is 01:45:17 what you could do like the half-pipe. I think that was the first one. And you could do joust. The peak Mohawk. Yeah. All these fucking skating things that aren't real. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:45:27 That skate joust. Back when it used to be a regal sort of sport. Yeah, it was a regal sport. Among gentlemen. Of kings, they say. Damn, Rodney Reckless was real fucking like, raw scumbag looking dude. Come on, man.
Starting point is 01:45:40 He just looks like a scumbag. He looks cool. This guy? Yeah. He looks like a, yeah, yeah. I just looks like a scumbag. He looks cool. This guy? Yeah. He looks like a... Yeah. I'm not trying to fucking... I'm not dissing your pick or anything like that. Do you have a mod?
Starting point is 01:45:51 Can we play it? I bet we could. I used to love that game, man. So, yeah. And my last one is going to be bad. I'll tell you that guy's right now. I can't wait to where he goes from that. He looks like Rodney Dangerfield with a mohawk.
Starting point is 01:46:05 That's all I'm saying. That's exactly it. That's what I said. That's what I said. He looks cool. That guy does look like... I've got rent lock in Venice, so I'm just going to die here in this apartment. It's all good. From Caddyshack to Skate or Die. Yeah, man. That game was fun.
Starting point is 01:46:22 Yeah. And then when I got older older my friend Robbie Andrews had it on a mod so we would play it on his computer I bet we can fucking just get it legit on the Xbox arcade man I'm trying to play Skater Die today it's time for my
Starting point is 01:46:37 fourth and fifth and my final picks as well as it is as it is getting down to the wire. Okay, I can go ahead and delete all four of these because they've all been taken. It's funny because there's like... Tell me if I can get away with this.
Starting point is 01:46:54 There's a bunch that have not been chosen. Tell me if I can... Aladdin's magic carpet. I'll let him have that. It's kind of skating around. It's from Jackass when Tony Hawk and Bam put on the big fat suits to go skateboarding
Starting point is 01:47:10 around. Big fat suit skaters. Big fat suit skaters. I think it was just called fat cell skate or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was called sumo skate. I think they just call. I don't know. The fact that you two were so down for this,
Starting point is 01:47:26 of course you can get away with it. Okay, cool. I'm with you. So it's Bam and Tony Hawk. And then who's on the BMX too? Dave. Matt Hoffman. Matt Hoffman.
Starting point is 01:47:34 Matt Hoffman's there too. Or Dave. I think it was Matt Hoffman. Sorry, there's an asshole outside. Dave Mira or Matt Hoffman. Could have been Dave Mira. They're the same guy. Yeah, it was Matt Dave.
Starting point is 01:47:45 It was Matt Dave. Oh, you mean the condor. Yeah, it was Matt Dave. It was Matt Dave. Oh, you mean the condor? Yeah, the condor. Matt Dave Hoff Miraman? It was Matt Dave Hoff Miraman. Man, my last pick is going to fucking... It was so fucking... It was funny.
Starting point is 01:47:55 It was usually because I was a little fat kid. I'd always be like pissed when people dress up as like fat people and do shit. But I was like, this is hilarious. Dude. Also, it was like, I bet that hurts way less when you fall. Yeah. Bam is hilarious. Like, all that old shit was so, so funny.
Starting point is 01:48:12 I think people gloss over that when he got into, like, the heartogram phase and shit like that. Oh, yeah. When he just started making a ton of money. People forget that he is hilarious, and he was an amazing skateboarder. He was so, so, so good. Transition skating.
Starting point is 01:48:27 And you know what, dude? He's still like so down for skate communities. Of course. He has this house, right? Big ass house in Pennsylvania and a barn that he built a skate park in. Yeah. And pretty much everyone in Philadelphia,
Starting point is 01:48:40 if you skate, you have a code to his house. He's never there. But you can go whenever you want. When I lived in Philly for a little while, we'd be like, yo, go skate bams and we would go and put in the code and we go to his fucking house he was never i never met him but i've been to his house and it was always full of people just partying and skating and he wanted it like that he would tell people and he was in interviews saying like i want he saw i bought my house and i built my barn i want people always skating and always having fun in my house that's awesome yeah dude you know what's crazy i grew up around the jackass crew because i grew up skating this skate park called skate lab yeah and you know
Starting point is 01:49:17 how it is when you're filming on location you know like you got to find somewhere that like you can film your skit for and like some places might not be down to let you film yeah we had an indoor skate park and we're like yeah you can come film here whenever you want every season of show every movie they would always need some location and we would be there like back last last resort and so like as a kid like for like we're like i don't even know from the whole show to the movies like a couple times a year jackass would come through and they'd hang out skate park and all that dumb ass shit it was weird like growing up with them that's awesome it's wild we know uh lance bangs now oh yeah who's like the guy who like filming him the whole time
Starting point is 01:49:55 and uh who's the dude uh the portland guy aaron aaron yeah danger aaron yeah is a big trailblazer fan yeah he came to the show that we all did in Portland. Yeah, he did. He came to the show. They're nice dudes, man. I mean, the ones that I met anyway. Yeah, they're all fucking cool as hell. Of course. So buck.
Starting point is 01:50:13 But yeah. The buck is hell on camera, but off camera, chill as dudes. Fucking getting the tooth pulled with a Lamborghini that Bam did that time. That's fucking gnarly. God, you could just hear it. Of all the things, they've done so many things that look like they hurt, but that one might have been like the most. Dude, the paper with the manila envelopes.
Starting point is 01:50:32 Oh, fuck. Okay, never mind, dude. Come on, man. Please don't bring that up. That's the worst. That's the worst. I don't like thinking about it. I'd rather watch Schindler's List.
Starting point is 01:50:40 Everybody's fate. Donovan just looked away like, I can't believe you said that. Dude, I had to look away as if it was actually happening. Oh, I know. You guys are right. Cheese and rice. Okay, so I'm going to take that. And then, really, the only thing
Starting point is 01:50:55 that I feel comfortable taking, I'm going to take Darth Maul, who is also a Lockheed character in fucking Tony Hawk 3, dude. And then you could do four shit with the board and you had the double-sided lightsaber. Darth Maul, man.
Starting point is 01:51:09 You know, I never got to play Darth Maul because I never played Tony Hawk 3, I don't think. Are you kidding me? I don't think so. I maybe did at someone's house, but I had one and two and that was all I ever remember playing. Yeah. I played all of them all the way through.
Starting point is 01:51:21 Yeah. If we were on Tony Hawk 31 right now, I would have beat that one too. It was perfect. It was like a fun video game that was achievement oriented and they had great music. What more could you ask for? Dude, when I broke my, every time Tony Hawk was like,
Starting point is 01:51:35 that game was the first thing I was like, well, I'll be doing the closest thing to skating I can. Cause I broke my legs seven times total. And all I did was play Tony Hawk one and two every time. Well, except for the last time. I'm almost bummed. Pick it up,
Starting point is 01:51:49 pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Tony Hawk two is, is like light years better than Tony Hawk one. And I would play, I still play it on my N64, except I just recently stopped playing Tony Hawk two.
Starting point is 01:52:01 And I kind of regret, regret that I got Tony's autograph on it because now I don't play it. Oh yeah. And I'm like I want to play it but I'm like I don't know.
Starting point is 01:52:11 Like what's going to happen? Blow up? Like why can't I just put it in there? It just has a signature on it but I'm like what if I put it in and my N64 actually fucking blows up?
Starting point is 01:52:21 It just swallows it the first time that's ever happened. Yeah it just eats it. Somebody gave me a copy of Tony Hawk 2 at a show one time. I swear it's in my room somewhere, so I'll look for you. Because if it is...
Starting point is 01:52:32 N64? Definitely. Oh, no. It's PlayStation. I'm an N64 kid. What are you guys? I was a PlayStation. I was an N64 kid.
Starting point is 01:52:40 PlayStation for sure. Only because it had Tony Hawk. I mean, that was like the first way you could get Tony Hawk. You guys want to hear something sick I found out that i need tony hawk tony hawk tony hawk is the n64 kid too i asked him which one he was he's all playstation was tight but n64 is my shit i was hyped to find that out that we were on the same squad man
Starting point is 01:52:59 yeah i love playstation you me and tony hawk dude yeah three people i could beat at Street Fighter is all I heard right there. I'm not good at Street Fighter. I could beat you to death with an Emmy I won. I've been doing other things. I was just never good at fighting video games. Yeah, me either.
Starting point is 01:53:24 Street Fighter, Dr. Mario, and Tony Hawk. Those are the games. I was good at sports ones, but I would just never good at fighting video games. Yeah, me either. Dr. Mario and Tony Hawk. I was good at sports ones, but I could never, like, I would just never, it never clicked in my head. Yeah. Yeah. Like an aggressive Madden period. Like combos and blocking. Air to air and all that shit.
Starting point is 01:53:36 It never sunk in. Yeah. Nah. David, time for your final pick, Bubba. Jake the Dog from Adventure Time. Oh, yeah, he does skateboard. He does skateboard. What's bad about that? It's Oh, yeah, he does skateboard. What's bad about that?
Starting point is 01:53:48 It's just not that inspired. It's awesome. But my phone died again during the podcast. Don't judge me. Got this long-ass cord. Oh, man, I miss my David's phone, y'all. His phone died almost exactly 24 hours ago. Right there. Same exact situation.
Starting point is 01:54:03 No one gets charged the whole time. Much like I did the whole time. Phone, phone, phone. Much like I did this fucking time. I forgot to charge my phone, y'all. Right there on the wall. Why isn't there
Starting point is 01:54:14 more rap songs about that? About dying or phone dying? Phones dying. I don't know. Rappers act like their phones don't die. They must, though. They die the most.
Starting point is 01:54:21 They just buy a new phone when it dies. Yeah, I bet that's why. Battery's dead dead that showed me somebody my battery died give me a new phone to be honest have someone drive this to the bellagio fountain and throw it in i would not doubt if that's what lil wayne did oh yeah because here's the thing he gets new phone numbers all the fucking time i don't have his number but my friend who like will open up the barracks for him to skate oh yeah and he'll text him once a week yo this is a little wayne's new number and it's like once a week it's a new fucking i bet you because that shit people probably give that shit out oh yeah i think he probably gives like so he this pissed me off to
Starting point is 01:54:59 this day but uh the skate park in sioux falls wayne was in town and he hit up Brandon who runs the park pretty much on Facebook. Brandon never checks his Facebook messages. So little Wayne didn't get to come to the park. Is he good at skating? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:14 Is he better than Justin Bieber? Oh, way better. Bieber can do like some shit though. He did an ollie flip the other day. A half cab heel flip. Board slide. He can do some stuff.
Starting point is 01:55:22 I think, you know what? I think the difference between them two is like Justin Bieber skates really slow and kind of can pull off random flip tricks board slide. He can do some stuff. I think, you know what? I think the difference between them two is like Justin Bieber skates really slow and kind of can pull off random flip tricks. Yeah. Whereas like Lil Wayne
Starting point is 01:55:30 doesn't really have flip tricks but he can skate quick and skate transition and shit. Do stalls and grinds like on the quarter pipes now. But he can't like bust a trade flip where I know Justin Bieber
Starting point is 01:55:40 could do it. But he'll be doing like one mile an hour. Looking at Bieber in that Nyjah video, he's wearing those big excels like the penny og excels huge carpenter pants i'm like that's exactly what i dressed like 20 years ago and i'm just like who told him to wear that there's no way he knew that was the joint dude i mean maybe he did wearing the but like i feel
Starting point is 01:55:59 like it was too specific it was too specific of a look that I was like, somebody told him that that was the exact 90s skateboarder. I saw it. It is coming back. Yeah. But not like ASAP Rocky dresses like that. It was nuts. Yeah. And Adam,
Starting point is 01:56:15 like cargo pants are fully back and like baggy. Did you see that ASAP Rocky shoe he did with Under Armour that looks just like a fucking. Yeah. Yeah. The D3. Yeah. It was nuts. No,
Starting point is 01:56:22 I didn't see it. What? Oh, hold up. It's identical to the D3. Yeah. Really? Yeah. He didn it. What? Oh, hold up. It's identical to the D3. Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:26 He didn't peel. Somebody was on the nightclub talking about it, but he peeled off Dave Mayhew a little bit, right? Or no, Dave Mayhew didn't design that shoe. That was just a design where he's like, I mean, sure, make that the shoe. No, yeah. But he didn't design it.
Starting point is 01:56:40 He was late to the meeting. Yeah. And they were giving out shoes, and that was the last one left. Who said that? I forget. It's like just a story everybody knows look like a fucking old skate shoe they may hear from it looks like those osirises yeah oh you know something funny okay about that shoe the osiris d3 yeah like in skating it isn't that much now but back when i started 96 you want to be the only one with your thing yeah you know like if you
Starting point is 01:57:05 if someone had like americas even though they were dope like you didn't want to skate americas because your friend did so you wanted your own shit you know yeah you're like and i remember i opened up a ccs magazine or mail order or whatever and i saw the d3s i remember thinking maybe i'll get one of those this is kind of cool i saw one kid at school show up with one i'm like no that's out for me because one kid had him little did i know like by the end of the school year it would be on every fucking kid's foot yeah i had no idea and i was already out on one kid yeah you were already like i was like one got him now i'm done what did you what were you guys first shoes what did you skate first then me yeah shoe wise i remember my exact first pair of skate shoes s muskas god those were dope the muska
Starting point is 01:57:50 it had a in the tongue stash pocket stash for hiding weed which fucking travis scott just ripped off on his new uh jordans he's got a stash pocket on it damn i had uh my first technically skate shoes were a pair of carl canais that i got okay they weren my first technically skate shoes were a pair of Carl Canais that I got. They weren't skate shoes but I had a pair of Carl Canais shoes that I would skate in. You had Carl Canais shoes?
Starting point is 01:58:10 This is a very you story. This is the most you. So they got two. Can I tell? Yeah, I asked him and the look on his face was like, that's a cool shirt.
Starting point is 01:58:20 He texted me the picture of the Carl Canais shirt the other day. Oh yeah. And he was like, can I pull this? I think he can. he was like can I pull this I think you can I think you can do it so these shoes they ended up getting because they weren't meant for skating
Starting point is 01:58:30 they were just canvas one layer canvas they got two holes in them that looked like I just took a lighter to them and everyone in school obviously was really making fun of me so then I had to trash those and I got a pair of airwalk Yukon Lowe's that had metal like metal like hooks for eyelets
Starting point is 01:58:45 or skating shoes you could possibly have and I remember they were the only ones that like pay less I think that we could get and then after that Smith would always give me his old shoes because he was goofy and I was regular so he gave me some green skulls that were like my first
Starting point is 01:59:01 legit it wasn't these carl canines was it I can't they were navy blue no It wasn't these Carl Canais, was it? I can't, they were navy blue. No, it wasn't those. They were navy blue. They look like house shoes a lot, like just real simple. I didn't even know Carl Canais made shoes, man. You're skating some Larry David joints? Yeah, kind of. Like they look like fucking kind of like Janowski's, but
Starting point is 01:59:17 just not meant for skating. And they just said, Carl Canais, real big on the side. Larry David joints. That's hilarious. He does wear like those canvas looking skate shoes, right? Yeah? That's hilarious. He does wear like those canvas looking shoes, right? Yeah. That's awesome. My dad got them out of East Bay for me. Carl, can I?
Starting point is 01:59:31 Charles to East Bay. Donovan, time for your final pick. Oh, shit. Okay. I'm so split because I got four left and I'm like. Well, Nate, we'll rattle them off at the end. Yeah, you can say. Yeah, I got a bunch of us.
Starting point is 01:59:42 The two of you can rattle. Yeah, I got like 60, 70 more skaters. It's cool. Like we'll all talk them. We'll allattle them off at the end. Yeah, you can say, yeah, I got a bunch of us. The two of you can rattle. Yeah, I got like 60, 70 more skaters. So it's cool. Like, we'll all talk them. We'll all talk them out at the end. Shit. Well, all equally. Man.
Starting point is 01:59:57 All right. I'm going with someone who's super over the fucking top. Yeah. Over the top. Swayze. I don't know the name of the character, but it's Chris Evans' character. Yeah, yeah. Scott Pilgrim versus the world. Oh, yeah. I don't know the name of the character, but it's Chris Evans' character. Yeah, yeah. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Oh, yeah!
Starting point is 02:00:07 He's so funny in that. I've never seen that movie. It's so fucking funny because... The movie's great. I don't know if you like it or not. I can't tell. But he skates and dies. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:00:15 He does... Because like... It's the funniest line too. They go, are you good on that skateboard? And he goes, I'm always good. And then he shows off a tattoo and goes,
Starting point is 02:00:23 I have my own skateboard company. Yeah. Because he... so that movie is one where the skateboarder looks like a tool but they meant for him to look that way it's not like say like grind or something where they're trying to have these kids look cool yeah and they're just look like fucking dorks lucas lee was the character's name my favorite line though is they asked him if he can grind this set of stairs and he says those steps are trash i was like okay a skater might have helped out with that line no it's it's so funny too like he's such a big dick jock like skater dude but he's like just the best they they put him through a few weeks of stunt training with a skateboarding instructor
Starting point is 02:01:02 doesn't say who in this article. Chris Evans? Yeah, Chris Evans. Apparently, he did an ollie. God. It's in the movie. You know, I don't need hot motherfuckers like that. Chris Hemsworth did a kickflip. I'm like, hey, get the fuck out of here. Put a shirt on.
Starting point is 02:01:15 Quit stirring my Kool-Aid, Hemsworth. I believe he can. I believe he can. We shot a thing with him over the summer. It's even crazier in person in London I saw that skit with their waiters yeah with their waiters
Starting point is 02:01:29 can't imagine how attractive he is he's so fucking hot how tall is he? tall the way he extended that tall and like 6'4 you know what I mean like perfect
Starting point is 02:01:45 I know I've never seen a suit fit someone better he's one like like in Laura and I were watching Ragnarok and he takes his shirt off
Starting point is 02:01:52 and she like made a little noise and I'm like I know just don't expect that now you gotta fight it I'm funnier than he is even though
Starting point is 02:02:02 I guarantee I'm not wouldn't it suck if you met him? Chris Hemsworth? You're funny as hell. I'm not, dude. You're not. None of us are.
Starting point is 02:02:08 The only thing I have on him is nunchuck skills, and he could learn it in about a week, I bet. Yeah, he seems like a really good athlete. And he had that dumbass smirk on his face
Starting point is 02:02:16 when he does it. You're better at eating shitty food. Yeah, I bet you he doesn't put hot sauce on salad. So that's pretty cool. He probably hasn't had a gas station hot dog in a while. Hey, Hemsworth, get fucked.
Starting point is 02:02:28 You heard it. You eating a bowl of microwave chili? I bet you could be uninsured for longer than him. Yeah, I for sure think you... I could buy cheaper paper towels for sure. Yeah. I could find toilet paper towels for sure. Yeah. I can find toilet paper that disintegrates. He can't.
Starting point is 02:02:52 Thank you guys. You guys are my best friends. I appreciate that. We put you up every time. Yeah. I bet you're better at staying at hotels. They have those awful, awful towels that almost get see-through the second they get wet. I bet you could take a punch better than him.
Starting point is 02:03:04 Yeah, the towel was long and then you start to wrap it around, and you're like, this doesn't go around. How does it not work? What size is this towel? It doesn't work. Oh, like the mid-range? Yeah, I hate that. Yeah, you know those ones?
Starting point is 02:03:12 I hate that. You're going to stay in like a road motel? Oh, yay. And then it's like you never get all the way dry. Yeah. Because the towel's so wet. I also use towels like a freak, though. When I'm by myself in a hotel room bro
Starting point is 02:03:25 I use so many towels Do you really? Yeah it's crazy I use everything when I'm in the room by myself I use the lotion and not even to jack off I do too I never use lotion to beat off Sandpaper dude
Starting point is 02:03:38 South Dakota's finest over here I use South Dakota lotion I never touch anything in a hotel. I don't want to, like, get charged for some bullshit. I leave the remote exactly where it is. I don't want to touch
Starting point is 02:03:50 a fucking lamp. Like, it doesn't look like someone stayed in that room when I leave. This motherfucker used the remote. You're just sleeping in the chair. No, like, I'm in the corner of the bed. I got the whole bed over there.
Starting point is 02:03:59 I'm just like, I'm not getting charged for this shit. There's going to be some kind of blanket you should discharge. There's something. I'm not even going to open the Bible. I barely got in here, man. I'm not going to with this shit there's gonna be some kind of blanket you should discharge there's something i'm not even gonna open i barely got in here man i've been using every i've been using the closet in hotels lately oh you know what i always use is that like the
Starting point is 02:04:14 fold-out thing to put your luggage on yeah i didn't know that that was what that was for until i saw you do it yeah yeah yeah you're good at hotels i used to use the the iron in there as squirt guns when i stay with my sisters i fill them up with water and just start blasting their ass. I like that. Man, we should get some squirt guns. Yeah. It's summertime. Look up Super Soaker.
Starting point is 02:04:32 I bet we get them on discount now. Yeah, probably. I'm trying to get like a, with the backpack. I got money now. That's why. Oh, the backpack. Yeah. Dude.
Starting point is 02:04:40 Nerf stuff too? Oh. Where you just that long stroke. You know what I love? When we were kids and they're advertising, advertisements were so over the top. They would have someone like overthrow a third world country with those.
Starting point is 02:04:53 Yeah. Yeah. I remember surely then. You're like, what is the plot of this commercial? Like these kids. Dude, everything was so over the top. Fucking Capri Sun, you drink it, you turn into Silver Serpent, blasted a room and shit.
Starting point is 02:05:09 Yeah, you turn into the secret world of Alex Miles. Gusher, there was a tsunami that bit into one of those. Oh yeah, Gusher's made volcanoes happen. I miss commercials like that. Now commercials gotta be clever. I just want you to turn into some fucking wild shit. It was that simple the whole time.
Starting point is 02:05:24 Happened the other night. Zach will just throw on old commercials on YouTube and it's like 20 minutes of all these old commercials. Serial commercials where a complete breakfast was like 30 things.
Starting point is 02:05:33 You know what tripped me out? Okay, so I do that sometimes. I'll go on YouTube and search like 1993 commercials and like watch some retro shit. Then I realized in other countries they have their own 90s commercials.
Starting point is 02:05:45 Oh, shit. I searched… Yeah, countries they have their own 90s commercials. Oh, shit. I searched, yeah, they put me up. I searched like 1990s Australia commercials. And it's all their companies and like their McDonald's got like different
Starting point is 02:05:54 McDonald's items. Oh, yeah. Like when they did the McAfrica burger or whatever. And it's retro then, but we don't even know it exists.
Starting point is 02:06:01 That's some advanced chilling. You gotta check that out. Some next level chilling. Also, do you guys remember the Australian toaster biscuits commercial? They make mouse water. Thank you, man. I was talking to somebody about that the other day,
Starting point is 02:06:13 and she didn't know what I was saying. I was like, makes mouse water. Makes mouse water. I said it like six times. Like, it's looking like a fucking idiot. That's one of those where I'm like, I must just not be saying it right. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I did. I just did it over, and she was like, I must just not be saying it right. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I did.
Starting point is 02:06:25 I just did it over, and she was like, I don't know what. I just said it louder. Yeah. I was just, makes mouse water. It's like she's talking about Fig Newtons, man.
Starting point is 02:06:34 It's not like cookies. Fruit and cake. Yeah, it's fruit and cake. Thanks, man. Sean, your final pick. The final pick. No, I did. Lucas Lee.
Starting point is 02:06:43 Chris Evans? No, it's me. My final pick. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. lee chris evans no it's me no no it's me my final pick oh yeah okay yeah okay yeah i forgot your last pick shit i've i was having too much fun boys i forgot what we were doing no such thing i got three left i'm curious if you can hit one of these should i attempt or should no should i go should i should i well i don't need my list anymore you want to pull one of these off? Fuck out of my face. This motherfucker. I'm going to pick this just because it was... I'm going to pick
Starting point is 02:07:11 the skater from Top Skater. You guys remember Top Skater? I do not. Oh, with the eight? The video game? Yes. So let me know if this is too much. No, this was an arcade game where the board... Oh, where you stood on the board! So I'm kind of picking me.
Starting point is 02:07:27 Kind of. Because you couldn't actually see this person. You could just see the board in the hands and it was you. That's right. I do remember that. Can I do that? Yeah! Dude, I should buy a top skater.
Starting point is 02:07:38 How much does that cost? Was that an arcade? Yeah, it was the one where they had little rails that you could hold onto and then the board that you stood on and you for real popped the tail. You could do nollies and shit and the way that you
Starting point is 02:07:48 turned it and you could do like grabs, you could flip it if you like popped on the side of the board and do a kickflip. It was really sick.
Starting point is 02:07:55 But it was, they always got broken so quick because we'd go in there as people who actually skated so we'd just like lightly pop the tail but then other kids
Starting point is 02:08:02 would get up and just smash the tail down like 50 times and they'd break all the time. You think they got that at Dave and Buster's? Dude. I haven't seen one of those in years. We're due there one of these days anyway. Yeah we should turn up at Dave and Buster's man.
Starting point is 02:08:16 I have never been drunk at a Dave and Buster's. I would love to be drunk at a Dave and Buster's. Every time I've ever gone to Dave and Buster's before now I mean every time I've gone anywhere in david busters before now i i mean every time i've gone anywhere in my life i've been broke as fuck so like i'd just be in david busters like really conserving that 15 power yeah actually i'm good with skeeball yeah this is real fun a lot of people forget i like it better i'm gonna hang out over here at the skeeball one game of skeeball
Starting point is 02:08:43 every 10 minutes that's what i can came to be a buster for. Yeah, I'm not even going to help you. Let's just split some apps. Clean living. You got any more of that gum? Yeah, so the skater from Top Skater, the avatar would be kind of the person playing. Man, that game was tight.
Starting point is 02:08:58 Well, that wraps it up, man. Yeah, let's... What random ones you guys got? Well, we got to do the recap. We'll do the recap first, and then we'll... took bart simpson michelangelo from the ninja turtles skater boy from the song skater boy bam and tony hawk and fat suits skating on jackass and then darth maul david you went second you took max goof auto rocket roach from next friday rodney recluse and jake the Dog from Adventure Time
Starting point is 02:09:25 Donovan you went third you took Marty McFly one of the kids from the Foot Clan Kyle Rumford David Spade's character in Police Academy 4 Spiderman and then Lucas Lee Spiderman Lucas Lee and Scott Pilgrim Spiderman
Starting point is 02:09:39 Sean you went last and you took Vince and Justin from High Fidelity Brian from Gleaming the Cube Travis Breckenmire's character from Clueless Sean, you went last. You took Vince and Justin from High Fidelity, Brian from Gleaming the Cube, Travis, Breckenmire's character from Clueless, Casper from Kids, and then the skater from Top Skater. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:09:55 And we left so many on the board. So many. There was Josh Brolin from Thrashing. Oh, yeah. My friend's dad was in that movie. Really? Yeah, my buddy Luke. Biff from Back to the Future 2 with a hoverboard. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:07 For sure. The kid from Lupe Fiasco's Kick Push song. From mid-90s. Reynolds in Cop and a Half. Andrew Reynolds in Cop and a Half. Peter Griffin was a skateboarder once. Andrew Reynolds was in Cop and a Half? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:23 Peter Griffin ripped it up. Yeah, where he had the GoPro. Him and Quagmire made the video with GoPros. And they were doing legit kickflips.
Starting point is 02:10:31 Yeah. And then Officer Dick and Tony Hawk was... Officer Dick, I skipped on that one, but that was a good one. Who you got?
Starting point is 02:10:39 Rufio from Hook. Damn! He came in on a skateboard. Oh, he didn't rollerblade? He didn't even roll. No, he was on a skateboard. And heblade no it was no he was on a skate and he had a sail on top yeah and they're like yo you see him skating through this whole dope motherfucker yeah that guy was killing it that's pretty much check this out i don't know
Starting point is 02:10:56 if you guys know this one mandy moore's music video candy there's a mysterious person who drops a tray flip and it's the best looking there sure is and no one knows who he is he's shot from the waist down i've asked around no one knows who it's just a perfect 360 flip and it's in the 90s so his pants are sick and his shoes are dope and you're like who the fuck was that like that was a how many people in the world do you think could could do that at that time it was a common a lot like a thousand no more than that tons oh okay tons yeah yeah um god that's a good i don't know a lot i had nothing else i saw the movie what's up rockers once which was larry like that larry clark guys like another one of the skate movies yeah i didn't have any ben diesel Vin Diesel in Triple X. You ever see that? Oh. Oh, does he? No, that was crazy. He skates along the side of a bus.
Starting point is 02:11:46 Yeah. Then he skates down a handrail while people are shooting at him. Yeah. Was that with a skateboard, though? Or was it with a food tray? I thought it was like a dinner tray. He did a dinner tray. It was like a dinner tray.
Starting point is 02:11:55 But he also did a skateboard across the side of a bus. But not just like a quick little wall ride. He got on the bus and just like, eh. Like the whole thing. Vin Diesel can do anything. When Ice Cube took that rollover, he did not do it. You know what? I know someone who posted a clip of it on Twitter recently. I'm going to find it real quick. Ice Cube
Starting point is 02:12:12 was Triple X. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah, he stepped in. Took the reins for a minute. He was like, let me show what I can do. Let me hold that. Excellent draft. This was so fun. Seriously, it was a rule. We want to hear yours as well, of course. I'd love to know if there are any more.
Starting point is 02:12:27 If there are any more. We must be forgetting some. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's got to be some. Hit us up at, I mean, hit us up all individually on Twitter, of course, as well. But us also at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon.
Starting point is 02:12:44 We fucking love you. Thank you for holding us down. Seriously. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. We fucking love you. Thank you for holding us down. Seriously. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Starting point is 02:12:52 Yep. Shout out to fucking St. Kelly Jordan. Shout out. Holding it together. Yep. Yeah. Buying you fucking Carl Kanias and shit. Holding it down.
Starting point is 02:13:02 Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah, shout out. I hope you get to meet Carl Kanai one day. That would be gnarly. Is that a real person? Yeah, he's a real guy. Shout out to Joey Glasses.
Starting point is 02:13:14 It's his birthday tomorrow, I think. Oh, a happy belated at this point. Fucking shout out to Donovan Strain. Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. It's one of those things for me where you're like, fuck, Fucking shot of the Donovan's frame Hey, thank you Coming through I'm stoked for coming here Absolutely This is one of those things for me
Starting point is 02:13:27 Where you're like, fuck Look at where Like, look at just doing stand-up 13 years ago or something And I get to do this This is rad Like, it's a big deal for me No, dude
Starting point is 02:13:37 I've been a fan of this show since My eighth birthday party We had a cake It was all fantasy, everything cake My grandma made it from scratch I wish she could be here to see this We took her to court My eighth birthday party, we had a cake. It was all fantasy everything cake. My grandma made it from scratch. I wish she could be here to see this. We took her to court.
Starting point is 02:13:51 Ivan took her to court. My dad took her to court for breach of copyright law. We didn't even want to, but Ivan's like, too bad. Yeah, she just got a Mario birthday cake. She scratched the M off his hat and put a Trailblazers logo. I didn't know I was eight. It looked the same to me. I didnzers logo. I didn't know I was eight. It looked the same to me. I didn't know.
Starting point is 02:14:07 I see him. Yo, watch Vin Diesel on this clip. Oh, man. The Vin Diesel. Oh, the whole bus. That's hilarious. The whole bus. The whole side of the bus, boy. Everybody look up this clip of Vin Diesel.
Starting point is 02:14:18 That's hilarious. That's so good. Man. He's bombing that hill, though. Yeah, dude. Good wire work. Yeah. Good wire work.
Starting point is 02:14:24 More important than even somehow Vin Diesel wall riding a fucking bus. Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Chicago! that was a hate gun podcast

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