All Fantasy Everything - Fictional Sports Teams (w/ Rob Haze, Jamel Johnson)

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

This is an incredibly AFE-core topic.Guests:Rob Haze (@robhaze)Jamel Johnson (@broccolihouse)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. At Participating McDonald's for a limited time. Yeah, did you do that whole, so you just did a watch along and, and, and just did it by yourself, huh? Yeah, I just did it by myself. I just was like, well, Creasy was recording me, but I was just talking, saying what I think about twins. It was, I was worried that it was a-

I might do that, that sounds like a fun thing. You should do it. I thought it was a bad idea, and then it turned out good, and I was like, oh, I could do this like once a month or something. I love how movies used to start back then, cause it just starts, it's a cartoon from the jump. From the, he's in bed with the lady, and he's like,

oh, and then he jumps out the window. Right? He thought it was a window, it was a brick wall. From the he's in bed with the lady and he's like He does you know what he did and then I forgot about this bit in 90s movies He does the bit where like somebody tells him something and then he like comes like he's they're like five million dollars and he's like I miss that so much. We gotta bring that back as Arnold doing that. No, it's Danny Danny Oh, but I don't does a lot of funny shit, too. He doesn't have that much of that much range. Yeah, Arnold I feel like Predator Kindergarten cop back to back exactly and Go watch Terminator and the kindergarten cop back to back. Exactly. And then watch Junior and tell me that's not range.

I was just gonna say, Junior is probably his tour de force. Jingle All the Way? Jingle All the Way was fine. That was a good movie. But like, Junior, he covers a lot of bases in Junior. It holds up. Jingle All the Way is better than people give it credit for.

It's like a really legit Christmas movie. I thought it was highly rated. Yeah, you gotta check the religion these people are hating on Jingle All the Way. Yeah. I need to go to different websites. Ain't no Christians hating on that movie. On the Silk Road, they got opinions on the Silk Road.

Sikhs, you say that Sikhs got a big problem with that? That's basically who I'm talking to. You know what? Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast, the fantasy drafts, anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are drafting fictional sports teams.

Let's go. I'm excited about it. It's been on, I think it's been, it's come up right a little bit, hasn't it, David? Can I also say, can I also say, you're doing a great job hosting without Ian, Ian is gone and you're really- What are you talking about?

Sean's gone. I don't understand the bit. Yeah, I was gonna say- The bit is your end? Yeah, I was gonna say. Oh, that's, okay. Yeah, I was doing a good job until then, and now I'm doing a bad job. But you're gonna pick it back up? I appreciate it.

Yeah, Ian, Ian's down there in Bolivia, Rodrigo, man. He's down there, he's on a little sojourn down in Bolivia. Yeah. Okay. Oh dang, contra vibes. All right. Yeah, that was my dancer name. Contra vibes.

Contra vibes. Contra vibes. You can move up, down, left, right, left, right, in. A little bit of A, a little bit of B, those are my nuts. Wow. You incorporated your nuts in dancing? It was a dirty club.

Both nuts. Dirty club. Both nuts. One nuts weirder. Not the nuts as a unit. One nuts weirder. Can't give him A and B at the same time. Can't have a two step with one nut.

So today, and I don't say this lightly, I'm looking at three of the funniest people, and you know, you all three know that I feel this way, that I know in the whole world. All three of you are so funny in conversation. And I'm telling you, quit shaking your David A. Shake and a set. In conversation, in standup, I swear to God, three of the funniest comedians I've ever seen in my whole life.

So this rules. This is very, very fun. I'm excited about this. I will say, I'm just gonna air it out now so it doesn't get weird later. It just hurt my feelings that Rob is your favorite comedian. I feel like we've had a lot of conversations. He's my airport comedian.

God, get off of his nuts. No. Like you go, no, he goes crazy for Rob. And then like when we were on tour, you would bring it up in weird times. We're like in a pizza restaurant. You're like, man, I was just watching Rob Haze on my phone. And I was like, we were in the car together.

We're great friends. I mean, let me sit in the back. I got to go watch it. I got to do some homework. Text me. I need it. I need it. We were literally talking about our Spotify. Right. I'd be on the ledge. I'd be needed in a face. Oh, we'll take it.

I'll hit you like once a month from the airport. I'll watch it a lot. He's playing you in the Bradley terminal. That's it. On the way to Tokyo. I just played out loud on the Spirit flights. I turned the headphones out the other way. That's smart.

Anyway, yeah. So joining us today, we have podcasters, comedians, just all around fantastic dudes. Rob Hayes, Jamel Johnson, always, as always, David Borey, myself. Rob, let's start with you. What do you got? What do you got to point the people towards?

In season podcasts with my boy Jamel Johnson. Make sure y'all are listening to that. Also, frontin' the special, the album, it changed Sean's life, it could change yours. It's on YouTube. I didn't like it that much, but anyway. It's on our YouTube streaming platforms. Yeah, life changing, it's not easy,

you know what I'm saying? Some people don't like it, but still. Oh, the inconsistent podcast, I do that. It comes out when it's ready. Yeah, no telling when it's gonna be ready, but it comes out. Sure. Hence the name. I feel ya. Jamel Johnson, also in the building. How you doing, Mitt?

I'm doing well. I'm doing so good. I'm so happy to be here with the co-host of the End Season podcast, available on all platforms. There it is. Rob is. We talk a little sports and culture and things of that nature. Whatever Stephen A. Smith was yelling about will give you an alternate take. That's us. Also, Sorry We Love Football. At Sorry We Love NFL.

On all the things, that's the big American football podcast. Please get with us before the playoff start. Also, I got some stand up in your phone. Just search the name Jamel Johnson. And I'm not the one that does Christian Jazz. I am the other Jamel Johnson. Two releases I have. I think it's good and Out the City.

They're both available right now. And yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Broccoli House on Instagram. I'm doing a lot of I'm live streaming a lot of sports. Follow me on Instagram for details on Instagram. I'm doing a lot of I'm live streaming a lot of sports. Follow me on Instagram for details on that. Which which which album was it where you talk about breaking the bed? Breaking beds. That's that. That's the late. That's the new one.

That's the city. Also, that was on Comedy Central, too. That was for real, man. That was a dog. Twenty nine was a that was for real. It was a horrible, treacherous year. The one year I was on Tinder in my whole life, 2019 was a horrible, treacherous year. The one year I was on Tinder in my whole life, I probably ran through about four or five bed frames, dawg.

Yeah. Y'all never tried to dive in a bed? Hell no. Are you crazy? I had a waterbed for years and years. All you can do is dive into a waterbed. You're in a waterbed as a child, which is crazy. That's super nice.

I tried to lose it on a waterbed, and then we had to move to the floor. My Lord, man, you are contra-vibes. Yo, you started on All Madden. Yeah. Yeah, I tried to go day one. I took the Raiders All-Stars out for Madden. Yeah. Yeah. You tried to go day one. I took the Raiders All Stars out for a spin. Jesus.

Goddamn. I forgot to do the Instagram handles. I'm blowing it. You know him as CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram, not on Twitter. David Borey, how you doing? I'm good. You can listen to my album, Birth of a a nation with the G on all streaming platforms right now If you want to watch the special go to my patreon patreon.com backslash David boy. We got like 90 videos

There's video watch alongs. There's me going to medieval times There's me riding my bike and going to play with some boats all for free just by the goddamn special. It's very funny. Sean was there. It was. It was sick. That's it. That's it.

That's good. Oh, wait. When does this come out? Tomorrow? Come see me Friday and Saturday in Austin at Cap City. Oh, son, I forgot we do stand up for a living. Hey, nigga, wait. I got way.

Hold up, son. No. Wait. No, I'm sorry. I got to do this. I got to do up son. No, wait, no, I'm sorry. I gotta do this. I gotta do it. Do it December 28th, December 28th in Woodbridge, Virginia. Oh, one night at Brittany's Sports Bar and restaurant. Okay, I'm doing an hour started right. This is where I started.

I did an open. I started that Christian jazz. Yeah, I started doing Christian jazz at this sports bar and restaurant. Please come see me. It's a Saturday night. And if the commanders flex the game to Saturday, they're dead to me. They're dead to me. I'm still doing the show. Wait, what does that mean? I don't know what that means.

Well, okay, so the commanders are good now, alright? The football team, okay? And so, apparently, we play the Falcons. We are two teams fighting for the last wild card spot in the NFL, the NFC playoffs, and we play each other that weekend. And the NFL has listed us as one of the games where they might move the game.

The game is supposed to be on Sunday. Yeah, they could do that. They play football every day of the damn week now. So they're just gonna see how it feels. Yeah, man, they might change the game. When do they, so okay, sorry to interrupt. What if you got tickets though and you're playing your Sunday around it, what happens?

I get to fuck myself. I get to fucking fuck myself. That's what happens. I get to Marilyn Manson, I get to take two ribs off and fuck myself. My mom still believes it. You bring it up and my mom's like, that's true. That really did happen. Hey, speaking of having sex with yourself,

the Brandon Jermell Show. I'm sorry, I have to say this too. The Brandon Jermell Show. Brandon will beat my ass if I didn't mention it. It's a hit podcast with me and Brandon Wardale, the end. All right. Oh yeah, my mama told me start the Steel Tour. See?

It's almost over. Portland, Seattle. Portland 14th, or Seattle told me start the steel tour. See? Oh yeah, Portland, Seattle. Portland 14th, or Seattle 14th, Portland 15th, right? Yeah, wow. I got your dates. You're gonna be a laughs and a helium. Yeah. Come and see me in Las Vegas December 12th.

If you in Las Vegas, come, wear your Raiders gear. Backroom comedy, Esther Steinberg, and Noah Gardens-Swarz, yeah, their show. I'm doing that December 12th. Big Mountain West, Mountain West. Be in Lafson in Seattle the end of January, so go look out for that January 24th and 25th, or maybe 23rd and 24th. And now, gentlemen, I will show you how to do

all your plugs at one time. Sean Cougar Mel and Jordan on Instagram. I have a show December 22nd. I'll be at Helium Comedy Club, Sean Jordan Holiday Christmas Show. Come on out. It's the office Christmas party. I'm going to play a fake boss. You guys are going to be my fake employees and I'm going to act like I hired a bunch of comedians to come in.

I think I'm going to do a PowerPoint presentation. It's going to be fantastic. December 22nd. January 31st through February 2nd, I'll be in San Antonio. And then January, or February 6th through 8th, I'll be in Houston. And yeah, hop on the AFE Patreon, why don't you? It's fantastic, we got stuff going up. We're gonna start doing watch alongs, I think.

David brought it up like a month ago. And I think we should start doing those again. So get over there. We got that nunchucks video, too, if you guys wanna see Sean in the dark taping glow sticks to his nunchucks in his garage when his wife is gone. I'm going to make another vidget today.

I put the glow sticks in the whip. I got the chucks in the whip. I'm going to create a club. Wait, you're gonna go somewhere else to do it? You're not gonna do it at the house anymore? I got a fil the glow sticks in the whip. I got the chucks in the whip Somewhere else to do it. Yeah, I got a filmer brother Interested in a Sean's wife's gone cam Yes Yes It's a lot of the departed. It's a lot of above the rim

It's a you know, you know what you think you know what it is It's but yeah, it's a lot of me sitting there. But yeah, maybe, yeah, we could talk about it. Go on the Patreon, we'll get up a Discord about it. All that is beside the point. We are gathered here today not to talk about what I do or do not do when my wife is out of town. We are here to draft fictional sports teams. Now, the question I had to ask is,

if it's a real team, but it's in a movie and the roster is obviously a fictional roster, that doesn't count. I think that doesn't count. Because that cut off a lot of shit, but I don't think that counts, because it's a real team. I had my list of those, but it doesn't feel like that would count.

It's like. Nah, if Whoopi Goldberg coached them, that ain't real. Okay. What? No, that was, cause that was the Knicks. Right, that's what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. That don't count, that don't count. Okay, well thank God I didn't put them on my board, cause that'd be my first one gone.

Also, of all the movies that the NBA gave license, how did that movie get it? It was a crazy time. That was that first lockout. They wasn't ready. The first lockout, they didn't know what to, they were just like, give it to whoever. It was a good movie though.

I like Eddie. One of the greatest. All right, well I'm glad we got it out of the way. So, only fictional sports teams. I got a thick list, I'm excited. Before we get started, wait, how do I do it? Before we get started, I'll remind you, it's a, wait, I remind you of the serpentine draft. No, did determine the order to determine the order of the draft.

We will play a rollicking game of rock paper, scissors between the three. We'll have been doing this for eight fucking years. Every single week you untangle some headphones. It's so funny how you're just, I'm here but I'm not paying attention when he does this shit. Anyway, to determine the order of the draft, the draft order will be determined by a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you

and we go on shoot. Everybody ready? Yeah. Jesus, that was, anyway. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, Jamel, snip in them, snipping these dudes. Skrrr. Ha ha ha.

Jamel goes first. Now, Jamel, you picked the order of the draft, but before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. You see that shit was clean, dude. And what is that? Now, I'm gonna leave it up to y'all. Would either one of you like to explain

what a serpentine draft is? I mean, I got a way to explain it, butall. Would either one of you like to explain what a serpentine draft is? I mean, I got a way to explain it, but like, you know. I know what it is. It's like, you remember that scene in Rush Hour when Jackie Chan first gets in Chris Tucker's car and he's doing it. He's dancing to some Drew Hill.

That move that he does, it's like that. Did he invent it? Yeah, that move that he put on the map. I don't think he invented it. That move swept the nation, it's like that. Yeah, that move that he put on the map. I don't think he invented it. That move swept the nation. It swept the nation. I think Rob will tell you he did not invent it. I think some dudes in front of a gas station invented it

down there in Atlanta probably. But it's that move. The snake? Yeah, that dance move, but just as like numbers and digits and data. Okay. Yeah, back and forth. I really don't get it.

I really don't understand. Basically what it means, what Jamel was trying to say, is if you pick last, fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now with that being said, Jamel, what will the order, God, I gotta take notes. What will the order of today's draft be? Hit me. Oh

Me me Rob David Sean Jordan out the gate Guys pick my fucking pick so David me right? Yeah, and how many how many pigs? Five Fifty is a speed round. Yeah, we'll do the last one speed round. We're making pretty good time right now, so we shouldn't be too jammed up. But yeah, so Jamel's gonna go first, Rob, David and then me, hot corner. And then yeah, last round will be a speed round.

So- Keep going, Sean, keep going. With no further ado, we're gonna get to your first pick, Jamel, right after this short commercial break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, we bring it up every week. We're gonna continue to do so

because we want everyone to get the help they need. You know what I mean? We want you to talk to people, especially around the holidays. It's the cozy time. It's cozy, you're supposed to be cozy. Why not be mentally cozy? Bro, do you hear what I said?

Mentally cozy, doesn't that sound fun? You know, if wrapping up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate, watching a movie, you sit around, you throw it home alone, I like to set the ambiance in the living room, that's the best way to spend the month of December for me, and November and January and February and all that stuff. And comfort not just for the body, you know what I mean? I'm saying you can have that mental comfort too. If you got things going on in your life and you want to talk to someone about

them, that's exactly, it's all therapy is for. It's just someone to listen, someone to vent to, someone to teach you how to deal with things that maybe you don't know how to deal with yourself. someone to teach you how to deal with things that maybe you don't know how to deal with yourself, I have no idea how to process most of the feelings I have. I could cry for any number of reasons most of the day. And I honestly, I see myself in a really good place in life. So, you know, there's something going on there. It's like, why am I about ready to cry all the time,

but I don't feel upset about anything? Who's to say? That's where a therapist could come in and maybe tell me what's going on. Probably dad, who's to say? But yeah, it's helpful for learning all that stuff. Coping skills, boundaries, and again, just another set of ears to talk to.

Who doesn't want that? So give it a shot. If you're thinking about starting, stop thinking about it. We say it all the time, try BetterHelp. It's entirely online. They're flexible. You can do it however you want. You can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Anything you need to do to make it work, they want to help you. So give it a shot. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterHelp.com slash all fantasy today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash all fantasy. This episode of All Fantasy,

everything is brought to you by Mack Weldon. You know we love Mack Weldon. We're Mack Weldon podcast. They're fantastic. I'm wearing them right now. I'm wearing sweatpants right now. Do you ever feel like you know about something that not everybody knows about, but they should?

That's honestly how I feel about this. The t-shirts, the underwear, oh my God, the underwear, forget about it. But it's just like having a little secret weapon in your back pocket that no one knows about. That's seriously what Mack Weldon is like. Secret weapon, they're timeless, classic style, it's infused with performance fabrics,

all these nice little hidden details, and it doesn't matter what you're looking for. Light as air underwear, they got it. I'm right next to my underwear, I'm touching two pairs right now, on God. Anti-odor tees, they got sweaters, the light fit, you know, they're warm, but they fit, they don't feel heavy, it's just, it's crazy.

I honestly don't know how they do it. They have a full range of clothes. I have so much. I have, I think I'm going on three of the AirKnit polos, three pairs of the Ace sweatpants, four pairs of the Sunday lounge pants, three pairs of underwear that are all varying lengths for different activities.

I'm telling you, I swear by it. I got a Mack Weldon sweatshirt, you know the beige is in. Beige wave, your boy got a Mack Weldon beige sweatshirt. I love it all. It's not crowded, there's not big designs everywhere. It's just real simple, but it looks good. It looks very nice, it's like casual, nice clothing. And that's exactly what I'm going for.

I have a lot of people out there, you wanna look good without calling attention to yourself. And that's exactly what it does. It gives you understated good looks for understated confidence. It's not flashy, classic, always in style. Seriously, I can't say enough good stuff about it. They're designed to fit your style

and just the demands of modern life. I can skate in it, it's all breathable. They look regular, you know what I mean? It's modern comfort. Seriously, and it's the holiday season, so get on it. You're not gonna find someone who doesn't dig it, I'm telling you, all of it is good. Underwear, if I had to pick something,

I'd say the A-sweatpants and the underwear. Those are the two, the jewels and Underwear, if I had to pick something, I'd say the ace sweatpants and the underwear. Those are the two, the jewels and the crown, if you will. But go, get on it, seriously. For the holidays, nothing better. Get timeless looks with modern comfort from Mack Weldon. Go to mackweldon.com and get 25% off your first order of $125 or more with promo code allfantasy. That's M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com,

promo code allfantasy. Oh shit, and we're back. Uh oh, watch your back. Welcome back to allfantasy everything. Oh shit. You thought we left. You thought that was the end of the podcast. That almost hit me in the head, man.

Yes, sorry about that Playboy. I do what I do. Alright, spark it off baby, what you got. Jamel, start the draft with the very first thing. I'm not even fucking with y'all. I'm getting right to it. I am taking the 1994 Team USA hockey team from the Junior Goodwill Games.

You can't do that. You can't do that. It's a fictional tournament. Is the problem that the country's fictional? Is the problem that the country's real? Is the problem that the country's real? I'm taking the Mighty Ducks! Yeah. No, you're taking Team USA!

Can I take Team USA? That's a different team! I would like Team USA. I want Team USA. But the Ducks is a different team. They become the USA Ducks at the end, though. Let's not forget. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

So, there is no- Wait, this is all kinds of boundaries. That's disrespect for the Eagles. It is. There is no Junior Hockey Team USA? all kinds of boundaries. That's disrespect for the Eagles. It is. There is no Junior Hockey Team USA that doesn't exist. There's no Goodwill Games. There's no Junior Goodwill Games. I think it's just the Goodwill Games.

Listen, I'll call the lawyer in here. No, no, I mean, I think- I can call Ian's dad. I mean, we can get him on the horn right now. And I'm specific. I wanted to leave the other fictional versions for you guys, but this is the best version. It's eight kids from Minnesota, one Puerto Rican kid.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? A Chinese kid from San Francisco. San Francisco, one girl. A cowboy from Parts Unknown. Yeah. A girl. A girl.

And this team was disrespecting all sorts of roster rules A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl.

A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl.

A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. A girl.

A girl. A girl. A girl. It was spicy. It was probably downtown. It was probably like we're doing it downtown either There's probably pecan bricks and it's probably somewhere. There's probably over there. Come on, man It's the greatest fictional team ever put together. It's a board. It is not at all but I think I Yeah, I mean David. I think, yeah, I mean, David. I think he's got it. He's got it. He made a case for it. So, I do love this team. I love this team. I love that they all had obstacles to overcome.

That fast kid couldn't stop. The Chinese kid was small and an ice dancer. The girl was a girl. And Jesse, they just had to convince Jesse not to sock fools in the face. His obstacle was that he wanted to fight everybody else on the team. Amazing film. What an insane thing. Charlie Conway is on the bench, the team's so good.

The captain don't even get to freaking play, dawg. This team's insane. Is that your favorite Mighty Ducks movie? I got to say yeah Yeah, it's one of the only times I'm patriotic. It's I think so, too Do you remember when they played the the Trinidadian team? Of course, man Trinidadian scored and they pulled out the steel drums steel drums I'm still looking for the tie-dye jersey.

Man, if you find that, let me know. If you find the Mighty Ducks, Trinidad team tie-dye jersey, copy. If anyone out there is sitting on one, let us know. I mean, their ops were incredible. I think they beat Germany, they beat Russia, they beat Iceland. They beat Canada. They beat the fuck out of Canada. They beat Canada so bad, Canada ain't even in the highlight reel.

When they beating the shit out of, you just see them in the newspaper. They got eight balled. Canada in hockey. This team is so raw. They didn't show any clips of the Canada game, it was just a newspaper. No clips.

Like spinning in Canada loses. Yeah. Man, the coach is getting at the team so good. The coach is fucking the other team's trainer. Yeah. And influence by her. They still get influenced by Iceland. He slipped his hair back like Pat Riley. He's got he got one piece of pussy and started dressing

like Pat Riley. And listen, and I'm not gonna down him for that. Who amongst us? Who amongst us? I was dressed like Pat Riley when I was 14. Listen, Brad. I showed up to middle school, hair slicked back, dicky suit, all buttoned all the way up.

That's not how Pat Riley dressed. Yes, it is. Hey, hey, can I confess something to y'all? Don't, Rob. You haven't seen it? My friend Malcolm across the street had the Mighty Ducks tapes. So, you know, I don't got that same relationship y'all do with the movie. Like, I seen it, but I ain't never possess it.

You don't have to own it. I didn't own it either. I didn't have it,. You don't have to own it. I didn't own it either. I didn't have it no. I love it. Are you crazy? No, I didn't own it. Y'all was giving me our new, all the trailers before the movie start vibes. That's what y'all was giving me.

Y'all was giving me like, when you see a trailer, you like, this is Mighty Duck's tape. I know it's coming soon. Oh yeah, like when you knew the order of the trailers on the tape? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the vibes I was getting. I was feeling left out.

Just letting y'all know I ain't ever had the tape. Don't think I got bad memory. I just, I ain't have it. Yeah, I was a big Mighty First One fan. That was about it. I mean, I liked the other ones, but the first one was- You ain't wrong with D2? Oh, I loved the wall.

It was the best one. I didn't love them all. Yeah, I just liked the first one, really. D2 is actually the worst movie, but it's the best sports team No, you don't think D3 is the worst movie when they have to go to prep school I love it when they go to prep school because Keenan is getting mad buckets in that That's when he said the quack attack is back Jack

It was crazy. That movie is crazy. Because the big hurdle in the third one is that they don't know how to play defense. They just learn how to play defense. Which you think they would learn when they won a world championship at the Goodwill Games. No, they won that chip with just raw power. Give it goes. They only had one stop. Julie, the Kat Gaffney only made one stop. She made the one last stop on the penalty shootout. That was it.

This movie got 600 goals in it. They signing kids from the projects. It's just, it's wild. No, you're right. It's a great, it's not the best one. It's a great one. Goodwill Games, 94, Team USA, USA Ducks. We call them the USA Ducks here.

We'll just do this. USA Ducks. Just for the fictional of it We call them the USA Ducks here. We'll just do this. USA Ducks. Just for the fictional of it. Let's do it. Because that's the most fictional part, is when they switch to the Duck jerseys. Sure. In the final.

Who allows this? Nobody would. Great. I know the Goodwill people, nobody at Goodwill will allow this. You think Jake Goodwill signed off on that? No. I doubt it.

Jacob R. Goodwill? Anyways, that's a great pick. That's a great first pick. Yeah, you got it. All right. Rob, right? Yeah, no, no amateur over here. You know what I'm saying? I'm going straight professionals. One of the greatest franchises top to bottom. I'm going with the Miami Sharks. Man, fuck! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew. That's the team that I wanna be on.

That's the team longevity right there. Don't fall off from this team, period. You know what I'm saying? Bill Bellamy still out here. LL Cool J on NCIS talking about he's the most significant rapper. Jamie Foxx about to put out a special. He didn't say that.

He did. He did? He is. He's got a point. He did. He did. He is. He's got a point. He's got an argument. Rappers were in groups before LL Cool J came out. He introduced us to kind of hoes. He was the first one to be like,

it could just be one guy. And people were like, damn, that's crazy. The most significant rapper of all time? Yeah. LL Cool J. Ladies love Cool James. I know. Talk.

Come on. And he had running back. Come on. And he's a running back. Scarface is the coach. You're an offensive coordinator, closure. In Miami. In Miami.

Tony Montana probably watched it. Oh no, Tony got shot. Yeah, he got shot. But no little kid, somebody from the family went to a game. But the spirit of Tony Montana is leading the Miami Sharks. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Come on, man. That's clean. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Come on, man.

Al Pacino talking. Willie Beeman. All the girls be creaming. I was saying that at 11. Cold creaming, he said. And then he just does this in a jock. He says, METRX, inflict your chest. METRX.

Yeah, that was, man, that was a good, good, that's a great, that's a great pick. Isn't it like Jamie Foxx and LL Cool J were fighting? Oh yeah. I mean, Jamie had, Jamie's coming out with a special. His last special was all about the fight they got in on the set of this. That's like the greatest game ever played.

I would love to watch that fight. Wait, they were really beefing in real life? They really, Jamie Foxx really hit LL Cool J. LL Cool J brought a bunch of dudes from New York down to Miami. They had, they had fittings, they had Timbs on, like it was going down. What?

I didn't know that. That's amazing. Yeah. That's, that's fantastic. There's multiple accounts. You gotta watch, I Might Need Security by Jamie Foxx. He tells his side of the story. But also there's a Facebook video during the pandemic

where Bill Bellamy tells his side of the story. And both of them are hilarious. LL still has yet to tell his side. I hope he does on his newest album. That way we'll be fired. Any take on Sunday? Also, shout out to the guy who loses his eye in this movie. Oh bro, it just pops out.

Also, LT Chainsaw and that Hummer in half. They got LT. Yeah. In the locker room. Those earrings are back, by the way, the big dangly LT's. I feel like these kids don't know that's, for me, that's where those earrings came from, was LT. Yeah, no, he probably, one kid probably saw any given Sunday

and said, I'm gonna bring this to the streets. When he wants that extra shot, he's just like, come on, doc, please. It's just like, Jesus. It just creeps in your soul. You're like, I'd give it to him, I guess. He's begging to have deteriorated functions. Also, they one up the real Miami team.

Because the real Miami team is the Dolphins. And they was like, fuck that. We the sharks. They talk about the Dolphins in the movie. Hehehehehehe. Do they really? Yeah, yeah. What she's talking about, she's talking about

they don't get any of the amenities that the Dolphins get. And that's why they're trying to move the team. And Cameron Diaz is the owner. Cameron Diaz is the owner. Squad. Bad teacher. Yeah, squad. And Margaret's up in there. Jesse Spano, Elizabeth Berkley is the woman of the night.

Yeah. Come on. Straight from the show, girls. Well, Dr. Feelgood, Jesse Spano. That was a good man These are great picks guys. It's not You can get in Miami I just watched that. I watched it like a week ago. I'm so scared. There used to be kids snorting notos on the lunch table in middle school.

Because that's what she was on, right? The notos, right? I assume. It was a weak drug to pick. Anyway. Get addicted to something, but anyway. Neither here nor there. Get addicted to something for real. Anyway, yeah, any given Sunday, that was definitely gonna be, that was gonna be top of my list too.

David, what do you got? I am taking what, in my opinion, is the greatest fictional team ever assembled. I am taking Butch McCray. I am taking Neon Bodro. Wow. I am taking Ricky Rowe. I am taking the Western University Dolphins,

God damn it, from Blue Chips. It was amazing. We're talking about tapes we had as a kid. That was one of three. I watched it. I've seen Blue Chips 50. I've seen it a hundred times, I've seen it 100 times maybe. Truly, amazing.

They had to go down to Baton Rouge to find Shaq playing in a goddamn empty tire factory. That's where they got him. Hey, it's the reason we got the Orlando Magic. Yes. That's where Shaq met Penny. Come on. Yep.

And you see how that worked out as great as it could if there's a 30 for 30 about it. But they got a 30 for 30 though. Yes. It was so good. It was still doc worthy. Another lockout movie also. So there's like a bunch of NBA players

on the other fake college teams. Yeah. But like, man, it was so good. They had everything you want, all the charisma you could handle. It was amazing. It was amazing. Nick Nolte.

Nick Nolte. Nick Nolte. That's Nolte, right? Yeah. It's Nolte. He's Bobby Knight. He's still like, he's still in the pocket, but like he was really in the pocket then.

He wasn't still like really, really, he was really in the pocket then. He wasn't still really, really ag. He wasn't grizzled yet. Nah, he had a wife. He had an ex-wife in the movie, and I believed it. You know what I'm saying? I was, yeah, that was shit. Man, come on. She's kind of tough.

She's kind of tough. It'd be rough if you were amazing at playing divorced. They're like, Nick Nolte, man, everyone thinks you're divorced every second of the day, so just be divorced in the movie. Shaq making up international controversies. When I was 18, we invaded Guatemala. I make my own sense. Incredible.

His attitude towards school really informed mine. Yes. I was like, yeah, I could be smart, I guess. Yes. If I felt like it yeah, I could be smart, I guess. Yes. If I felt like it. These tests are culturally biased. Also his attitude towards shorts. Long purple shorts.

Long, long purple shorts. I always wondered if I put those shorts on how far past my feet they'd be. They would be Jinkos on you, because you're a regular man. I think Shaq's movies got worse and worse. Yeah, I think so too. So you got Blue Chips, then you got Kazam,

and then you got Steel. What was Steel? Steel was a Superman spinoff, but there was no Superman franchise at the time. But Ray J is in a wheelchair. I guess his wish is, I'm sure. No, Ray J's not in a wheelchair. Am I making that, no, Ray J's not in a wheelchair. The girl, the love interest is in a wheelchair.

Yeah. Well, I've seen what Ray J can do, so I mean, I get that. I wouldn't be walking for a while either. I also relate to Steel's movement. Shout out to the white kid who asked for money in blue chips as well. Remember when he comes to Nolte?

Ricky Rose like, hey, listen, straight up, I'm gonna need 40 Gs and a tractor and y'all really gonna have to hook it up, man. He said, put it in one of those duffel bags you guys got around here. I don't care, I'm not picky. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm picky about the amount. It does need to be 40 Gs, I'm picky about that. But yeah, I don't care what the vessel is. Yeah, man, that movie, perfect sports movie. And Bobby Knight's in it. And there's a bunch of real coaches. Dick Vitale's in it. A bunch of people are in it.

Nolan Richardson, he had just won a real national title. And then he was in Blue Chips. Larry Bird was in Blue Chips. Larry Bird was in Blue Chips. Yeah, Blue Chips is hard. Yeah, it's amazing, it's amazing. That's my first pick. The height of college basketball, some would say. It was big.

Blue Chips, the Western University Dolphins from Blue Chips. Now I gotta go, I gotta go back to back. Yeah, yeah. And I had a feeling this would still be on the board, but to me, this is the first thing I thought of. I always wanted to be, Above the Rim is one of my favorite movies of all time.

And I wanna be, but I don't wanna be on Kyle E. Watson's team, I wanna be on the Birdman, I wanna be on Tupac's team. I wanna be on Birdman's team. I have that on my list. I get to hang out with Woodhairs and Tupac. Something, I was talking to Adam about this yesterday, shot a triplet, but I was like,

I can hang out with Tupac and Wood Harris, and he's like, that's all you ever wanted to do. And I'm like, yeah, that'd be, I just, ugh. Marlon Wayans is around. Wood Harris with a gun, with a loaded gun. Handle him. I don't even know what he does at the end. He's like, handle your business.

Like, go shoot him right in front of everybody. It's insane. You know, the craziest part of that movie is Marlon Wayans shows up to the gym with a girl wearing those plyometric sneakers. He wore strength shoes to the... He has them on in his street clothes. Marlon's sick in this.

Also, I know Rob... Everyone is sick in this movie. I know sick in this. Also, I know Rob. Everyone is sick in this movie. I know Rob know this. The one, a guy throws a full court pass to himself on that team. He sure does. He sure does. Which, did one of you post that like a couple months ago?

Cause I had never seen that until a couple months ago. Yeah, it might be Wood Harris that throws the pass to himself. But they got dude. It's some other random guy, but still. It's some dude. It's just some dude. Yeah, it might be Woodhairs that throws the pass to himself. It's some other random guy, but still. It's some dude. It's just some dude. Yeah, yeah. They got Leon in this movie. It's fantastic. Leon Plurne and Khakis. Leon dropped 40 on these guys.

Bernie Mac. See, that's why I don't love this pic, because it condones violence against Bernie Mac, and I can't get behind that. That's really why I've been anti-The Transformers. It's a lot. I don't really like violence against Bernie Mac. I do appreciate that. If I would have been- I would have put him in Transformers.

He got a little crazy. He got pushed up against some of these cars. He got a whole bunch of Transformers. He get the... Yeah, all the cars blow out, right? All the windows blow out and transformers. Violence against his business. So he can't, what's his best to do?

But you did. Almost, that's a key, almost. Shia LaBeouf lucky, I almost walked out. Shia got his hooks in you. Yeah. If it wasn't for Shia, I'd be gone. You went out real quick and you're like, hey, I don't like what they're doing to Bernie.

I didn't even see Megan Fox shit. I'm getting out of here. I'm going back in, but I don't like what they're doing to Bernie. I'll talk to you after the movie. Yeah, man, I wanna be on The Birdman. I just, oh. That's a great pick.

It's such a, I used to try, and I've told, I've talked to you about this, David, but I used to, I had my period of where I thought I could play basketball and I would try to do like someone's guard in me and I would throw it back with my right hand to try to get it behind their back and then I would go to my left, you know what I mean? Like throw the ball around them on the opposite side.

I'd try to five hole people because of that movie. It never worked. I mean, obviously it didn't work, because I wasn't good at it, but I just, I was like, well, they can do it. Why can't I? So yeah, anyway, above the rim, Birdman first pick. And then the second pick, it was always my fantasy

when I tried playing football. I was never any good at it. I gotta be on the Dylan Panthers, Friday Night Lights. Okay, the TV show. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to the TV show. All of a sudden? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I was thinking all movies, but then obviously Friday Night Lights, when I looked at the movie, because that's a real team, but the Dillon Panthers are not a real team. The Permian, what is it, Odessa Permian in the movie? That's real, yeah. But the Dillon Panthers are fictional.

Anyway, it, my, I was never good at football. I always wanted to be. And that was like, watching that show, I was like, god damn, that would have been tight going to the park, being cool at the parties, like actually playing. It would have been so sick. Actually playing was cool.

Oh my God. Shout out to seeing that roster just be in procedural dramas throughout the years since I always see different guys from those rosters, just one guy's a cop in Hawaii one day, another guy's a cop in Hawaii one day, another guy's a doctor in Seattle the next day. They just, you know, they all over. I'm forgetting Scott. Gosh, the guy that plays the quarterback's name, Scott.

Something, but yeah, he's big in the CSI world, I think. And then Taylor Kich, man, it just never worked. It never quite took off for him. Like, he had Savages, he did John Carter. It just didn't, he was in that True Detective season. He's so good in Friday Night Lights, but it just never, never quite clicked. Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler run the world.

So they're doing all right. Connie Britton is the goat for me personally. The Jalen Hurts of actresses, Connie Britton. You're not the first to say that. A lot of people say that to her. But yeah, man, if I had my druthers, I'm Tim Riggins. I'm full back on the Dylan Panthers getting shit done. He's hammered every time he goes to practice.

That's also crazy. When he shows up and they're like, you drunk? Yeah, just still getting it done. I like that you have a white pick and a black pick with your first two picks. It really shows your range. Hey, we don't all wear capes, you know what I mean? I didn't watch Friday Night Lights, the TV show.

And that's how you know it's a white one. In the movies, they was wearing Nike Sharks, and those cleats was not historically accurate. So I was just like, I don't even know what the TV does. Where Booby's talking about how he's got the Nikes on. Did you just say Booby? Booby. Like a Jewish grandfather?

Booby. Booby Miles. Oh, you played for the Panthers, Booby. I'm going to get a thousand yachts today. That's what Wolverine calls it. Booby. Yeah, that also works. Buy a t-shirt swim club. You've been at a thousand yachts today. That's what a little green cuffs look like. Bumby. Yeah, that also works. Buy a t-shirt swim clip.

That's a good pick too. That's solid. I didn't watch that show, but I know people really love it. I mean, to me, my two favorite shows of all time are Scrubs and Friday Night Lights, so if I could get Friday Night Lights in there, obviously I had to do it.

So yeah, one, two, punch, and now flipping it back the other way, much like Chris Tucker doing the slide, whatever you wanna call it. But David, time for round two. Okay, round two. This is where we separate the men from the boys. I have to go with, for round two. You know what?

I gotta go with Team Dennett Racing from Talladega Nights. Oh no. Come on. Good job. That is a squad. Good job. Come on. They had the Frenchman coming in.

They had Ricky. They had, oh, what was his? I can't even remember his name now. Oh, Cal Naughton Jr. And then they came in with the Frenchman at the end who drove the, the Perrier car was amazing by the way. I always forget they were on the same racing team. They were all on the same team.

You can't even name nobody that's not on their team. They had- The Shakenbeak. The Shakenbeak, they were the American dream. They were the American dream. Why'd you wanna have the TV up at the same time as the radio? Cause I like to party. Cause I like to party, cool man like to party. Oh yeah, sure.

He just goes, oh yeah, right. Like silly me for asking. Bro, that's your freaking driving test right there. Dude, they do got everyone. They got Gary Cole in there. Amy Adams is in there. It's wild. Come on, Michael Clarke Duncan.

They were Wonder Bread and Old Spice. Come on, Wonder Bread and Old Spice. That's amazing. Yeah. And I know a lot of people have attempted to find the, uh, the, what is it? The laughing clown liquors? Yes. They first, they first sponsor was a fictional liquor store.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I think it was supposed to be that one in the Valley, you know? Yeah. Circus.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It must've been. Why Trump never had that dinner spread? Like if you gonna go fast food, go KFC Taco Bell. You know what I'm saying? And Powerade, and Powerade.

And Powerade, yeah. Don't go McDonald's, Wendy's, like, Talladega Nights got Trump wiped down. Yeah, McDonald's and Wendy's is like chocolate, dark chocolate, like, you gotta spread out. Gotta go like Taco Bell Panda Express. Yeah, they also had Pizza Hut, I think. They're dominos.

No, they had, Yum's Brands was called. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, that movie is unshakable, unshakable. One of the sickest, one of the best in-person viewing experiences of a movie. Oh, yeah. Back when they used to have raunchy movies on the big screen. God. Come on, son in college, ran around the dorm in my drawers talking to Tom Cruise,

you know what I'm saying? Back then, that was cool. Back then, people were like, yo, Rob's crazy, man. That was funny. I don't know if you can do that now, kids, but you know, back in those six, you can run around your drawers and say Tom Cruise helped me with your magic. See, here's the thing,

because this is why we need major comedy movies, because young people need comedic personalities. You know how many guys got pussy pretending to be Ace Ventura? Yeah, dude. Millions, I'm sure. You're looking at, you're listening to four of them. We all did. We all did.

She's just taking her clothes off and you're like, all righty then. Talking to her with your butt. Ah! My name is Cornelio. Oh man. That was Beavis in Butt-Head. I'm sorry. He said, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

But yeah, man. Talladega Nights. Top tier sports movie. Top tier fictional racing team. Yeah. It's teams Bennett with a B, right? Like boy. Dennett. Dennett. Denn? Like boy. Dennett.

Dennett. Dennett Cup racing. Dennett. Molly Shannon sneaks in there. She's like a dr- Hilarious. Drunk wife. Oh yeah, she's old boy's wife who's getting off when they go by the vibrations.

Yeah. He says, is she wasted right now? Yeah. Yeah, talk to you. Yeah, that's fantastic. fantastic Rob round two what he got I'm gonna switch it up Boree separated the men from the boys. I'm about to separate the boys from the girls I'm about to go with the East Compton

Damn it. I thought I could get that third fourth fourth round. Cheer is sport. Cheer is sport. They play it on ESPN. You know what I'm saying? Hey, this place is beautiful, but we don't like you either. We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders. You know what I'm saying? So basically influential. They were stolen from, you know,

before we had the term cultural appropriation, we just had bringing on... Um, Gabrielle Union, Black. The girl from Black? I was gonna say that. Can we just beat bringing on. Um, Gabrielle Union, black. That girl from black? I was gonna say that. Can we just beat these buffies down so I can go home? That girl? Yeah.

And the cheers were phenomenal. Burr, it is cold in here. Right, right. You know that came from us. When I first heard it, I was like, no, they didn't. And then the movie developed and it was like, oh, okay, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. He just said that.

I thought so. Good. Because when I heard, let me clear my throat, I was like, wait a minute. They gonna bring me to you. But then it was like, oh, okay, no, no. The movie gonna handle that. It's all good.

Not a single second of football in this film. No. Incredible. Well, East Compton are basketball cheerleaders. All right, I'm tripping. Rancho Carne are football cheerleaders. Yep. So they're not even cheering the same sport, but they are competition cheerleaders,

you know what I'm saying? Right, right, right. The East Compton Clovers, they showed up at the football game, showed them up, you know what I'm saying? Right, right, right. Man. The East Compton Clovers, they showed up at the football game, showed them up, you know what I'm saying? Come on. From the stands, even the white people looking like, what y'all gonna do? Yeah.

Try to sit a lot of bit, but you looking like shit. We was the ones that was down with this. It's like, yo, they out here cursing, what y'all gonna do? And they're just standing there. You know, I never saw, we were just talking about this yesterday, I never have seen like a good cheerleading squad. We didn't, they didn't do that in South Dakota really.

They weren't like competitive cheerleaders. They didn't even go to school where it was like that. That makes sense, because all the kids who would flip are gang banging up there, right? Well, the girls that, our cheerleaders weren't like good cheerleaders, but they were good at flipping. And they would flip, like you had to tumble to cheerlead at my high school. And then when they would flip, the whole crowd would go, you!

Like on the last flip, everybody, you! So that's pretty much it. We had a, we had competition cheerleaders. I went to meet Sam Talent, a bunch of guys on our football team. We went to watch them at a competition. Talk about tight end Sam Talent. Don't do that. World famous tight end?

Don't do that. Don't do that. He never. Players, minutes, dude. Boots on the ground. That's not the position he played. We went to, we went to go see him at Park Meadow Malls once. So I had, I have been to a cheerleading competition Oh, you sound like a legit one like they had it on it We have we went we went and watched it. It was like if I remember right it was like on top of the parking garage Is that right? I don't know, but it was a good time. Sounds like it was unsanctioned

Also good good colors on the East Compton Clovers Yeah, I thought it was already green no red green yellow and yeah Also good colors on the East Compton Clovers. Come on. Orange and yellow. Orange and green? I thought it was orange and green. No, it's green and yellow. Big Ethiopian energy. Feels very Ethiopian. Also, they turned down that check from, you know, they almost got the money from Rancho Carne.

They turned the check down and put all their hopes into writing a TV talk show. Yep. They write Pauletta, and Pauletta gives them the money they need to go to the competition, then they win, they win the whole thing. Yeah, it's a great story. It's a great story of triumph, athletic prowess.

That movie's fantastic. One oflle Union's more hood roles. Right. Yeah. And also she's not the villain. Like normally, you know, she a hood villain, but not in Bring It On. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Bring It On.

Fantastic, fantastic. Yeah, there's no way that was making it past this round. Jamel, time for number two and number three as Tiz. A serpentine draft, my friend. Back to back playboy. Speaking of things that I didn't think would make it to the second round, I'll keep it in football slightly.

The little giants, guys. I'm doing it for the kids, baby. Come on. The little giants. The icebox. The little giants. The ice I'm doing it for the kids, baby. Come on. The icebox. The icebox. The little giants. The icebox. I mean, for all of the disrespect that a Karen gets,

Becky gets none of that. A lot of Becky's out there. Becky gets none of that. There's a ton of Becky's. You might want, you might want, you might be trying to holler at a Becky right now. I dated a couple Becky's. The icebox was sick.

I knew of so many girls in real life who were playing football, playing sports for real, and were the best kid in the town. It's amazing. Also, young Devin Sawa setting off the heartthrob era. Who is the little man with the glasses? I love that kid. Oh, the little dude who gives everybody. He ate the alka seltzers.

I take these for acid indigestion. Come on, man, that kid is fire. You shouldn't have that yet, bud. He shows up to practice the first day covered in bubble wrap. The coach is Rick Moranis. This is one of his last movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to go up against Ed O'Neill.

The Cowboys. The Cowboys. They have to play the fucking Cowboys of Ohio. The Ohio Cowboys, watch out. They're the only team in town sponsored by a car dealership. You know their bread is strong. Oh man, they had brand new bike everything.

They had everything, dog. And then what do we got? Our starting center got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his helmet. They were really doing fat kids dirty in sports movies back then. Man, it was not good. It was not good.

He took half a sandwich in his helmet. Because I was fat and I was ballin'. This was my, yo, I was putting up all star numbers at this time and the one fat kid in the movie, this pudgy son of a bitch eating Cheetos. Yeah, yeah. I didn't care, dog. The squad was amazing.

They getting, it was the only time I ever got the root for Emmett Smith. He was coaching them. Yeah, that's exciting. That's a good. That's a great pic. That's a great pic. Did they try to sequel that up? Did they try to franchise? And guess what? They never attempted it.

It is a perfectly it is a perfectly sort of dirty movie for kids. And they never tried it again. Probably because I think it was because Rick Moranis just left the game. I think Lil' Giants is the reason when I play Lil' League football we never got to truly like bust through cool looking paper. You think that's the reason you did it?

It was always like there was a phrase we wasn't gonna get through the paper, so it was some like lil' rinky dink looking paper, but we never just got the like, you know, like you see on TV, like that cool plastic looking paper. They didn't even attempt that because of a movie gag. This team, they only had about,

they only had one black kid on the team. They only had one black kid on the team. He's fucking Jerry Rice. He goes from about 300 yards in the game. Who hasn't drawn up the annexation of Puerto Rico in the ground? We all tried to annex Puerto Rico before. Just put a mailbox in Puerto Rico.

Yeah, you can be on the team. Yeah, it's... It's flawless. One of my three tapes growing up. That's top tier. That's top tier. Flawless. The only mistake in the movie is when the one little kid scores because he sees his dad coming.

That is a thumbs down for me. Unfortunately, it's one of the worst scenes in any movie. You know what I'm talking about? Johnny. They're like, hey, it's toss to Johnny. He's like, what? Why y'all gonna give it to me? And then Becky's like, hey, just run to your dad. And this little cornball ass, he start now. He's now he's Barry Sanders because his dad's there. That's beautiful, too. I think you're I think you're that's not fair.

Haterade. I have nothing but hate for that. I was bummed when my dad showed up. God damn it. Sean's dad would show up and he'd start breaking, bro. He wasn't good about it. He turned into Jameis Winston as soon as his dad showed up. So hammered. Four picks.

My dad got kicked out of a game one time and I was on the bench. He just got too into it. He got thrown out. I wasn't even playing. What? Daddy, what are you doing? You stand up, sit back down Rob, this ain't about you.

Did he even get kicked out of something because of you? He was yelling at the refs crazy, but it was like, bro, I'm not in the game right now. Like, this ain't about me. This is for the team, bro. Rob, go home. I'm going to talk to the ref. They made him leave the stadium, bro. Did he just wait in the car? He had to wait to the rest. They may have leave the stadium, bro. He had to leave. Did he just wait in the car?

He had to wait in the car. That's so harsh. Okay. Oh, man. That's beautiful. My third pick. Let's get it even more fictional. I'm gonna go, I'm taking it to the Simpsons, the Springfield Isotopes.

Yep. Yep, yep, yep. A fully loaded softball team with Don Mattingly, Jose Conseco, Ken Griffey, Darrell Strawberry. Good Strawberry. And Homer. We're talking Homer. And Ozzy motherfucking Davis. This lineup is nuts.

Yeah, that's fair. Somebody get they arm ripped off. It's a good name too. Let's go Topes. Yeah, come on man. The gear is strong, they got a song. What's an isotope? You learn that in chemistry man.

That's one of the things you should have already learned. Oh, I didn't make it. Free requisite for podcasting. I didn't quite get to chemistry. They are a real minor league team, right? Based off the Isotopes. Wait, is it? Wait a second.

Yeah, I had, they had, was ill. Uh-oh. Based off the Simpsons. So it was the fiction one first. Oh, okay. And then they, yeah, the Simpsons, based off The Simpsons. So it was the fictional one first. Oh, okay. And then it was like, let's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, The Simpsons first.

Like the ducks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the Anaheim Ducks, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hey, I ain't even know they, cause I've seen like the Albuquerque Adams or whatever the fuck, but anyhow, just off the song alone,

I don't think there's a fictional team with a better song than Talkin' Softball. I don't even, I don't think there's a fictional team with a better song than Talkin' Softball. Yeah. I don't even, I don't know it. I don't even know it. Talkin' softball. It ain't no San Diego. And an unfortunate thing about me,

not a, I was never a Simpsons, I don't know the Simpsons that well. I know it loosely, I've seen most of it, but Listen, the people in the comments is going back me up. Oh yeah, no, no. I know it loosely. I've seen most of it, but listen, wasn't like in the comments, it's going back me up. Oh, yeah. No, no. I just hope I had it on my list if I ran out, but I'd be I would be faking. So, yeah, I'm glad. Just start it right now and then you'll have it forever. I just started talking about the Simpsons at the bar.

You got to watch a Simpsons episode every day for the rest of your life. That's a good point. That is pretty easy. You could do that. You're not going to catch up. No, you're going to have to leave him in your will. That's a good point. That is pretty easy. You could do that. You're not gonna catch up. No, you're gonna have to leave him in your will. Starting in 87 right now. I was gonna start reading, but I'll do that. I'll do that instead. Yeah, I don't need to read books.

I don't need all that. The Springfield isotopes, spelled it right. First try, I wouldn't worry about it. Rob, round three, what do you got? Round three, I'm really surprised y'all letting stuff slide like this. I'm worried that. I like where y'all at,

I like where y'all at mindset wise, cause y'all not going with the obvious, but you know what I'm saying, I'm gonna have to go with the Monstars. Damn it! We got aliens who could take the essence of NBA players, aliens who could take the essence of NBA players, Muggsy Bows, Charles Barkley, okay. Who else is that?

Patrick Ewing, Sean Bradley, you know what I'm saying? Larry Johnson. Larry Johnson was what? Grandmama. Grandmama. Oh man, the greatest personalities. Yes, the Toon Squad won in a one-off, they not winning in a seven game series

with Michael Jordan and Bill Murray and Lola Bunny. There's no way they've beaten the Monstars in a seven game series. Gentlemen sweep, they one game won, Monstars come back and win the next four in a row. It's a wrap. Jordan had to become a cartoon to beat them. Come on, man.

Exactly. He had to do something that wasn't basketball. Right. Now your arms half the court length, and that's how you won? You can't, that Wimby stuff ain't gonna work. I don't believe you can fly. You don't think they gonna scheme up?

You don't think they gonna figure out a way to stop the monkey-mogues in? They think the song is R. Kelly. The Monstars theme song is Method Man and Busta Rhymes. Hit him high! Come on! Hey, come on, man. Come on, who you rolling with?

You rolling with R. Kelly? No! Or you rolling with Method Man? I'm not rolling with R. Kelly. Exactly. They started with Foghorn Leghorn. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like when the Warriors had to play like Mo Evans. Yosemite Sam is three foot six. We not falling for the secret stuff in a seven game series. No way. No disrespect to Mo Evans.

Maurice Spates is who I'm thinking of. The Falkhorn leghorn of basketball. Our fans were going to come at you for that. Yeah, nah. You know I'm in Wove Spades. It was gonna be Simpsons talk and then that was gonna be next. Yeah. Oh, man.

Yeah, no, Space Jam, I can't believe we made it this far either. That's... Yeah, it's a beautiful pick. Well done. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this podcast. Yes, thank you, Aura Frames. Jake, podcast. Yes, thank you Aura Frames. Jake, you have one of these. Of course I do.

I have several actually. It's a digital picture frame that you give to loved ones like your parents, and then you can upload photos as they come in and they get to see those photos wherever they are in the world. It's simple, it's easy, and it brings joy. What's better? Nothing better than joy this holiday season. It's easy to set up and it's easy, and it brings joy. What's better? Nothing better than joy this holiday season.

It's easy to set up, and it's the perfect gift for any occasion. And you can get free unlimited storage, and the photos look like real prints. Yeah. It's fun, it's interactive, and there's nothing family likes more than new pictures of new family members. It's true, sometimes my mom will text me

and be like, we need more photos. Now. So right now, Aura has a great deal and you can go to auraframes.com to get $30 off plus free shipping of their best selling frame if you use code HEADGUM. Headgum. That's aura, A U R A frames.com.

Use code HEADGUM at checkout to save. Headgum. That's right. Terms and conditions apply. Of course. headgum at checkout to save. Headgum. That's right. Terms and conditions apply. Of course. Thank you, URAframes. Now I'm gonna have to get tricky. Get nasty.

My list is looking. Now it's already. It's ugly now. It's already got holes poked in it. It's interesting though. Okay, okay. I'm gonna take this. This movie is bad. And corny.

I will say that. Oh no, wait. But it's timely as fuck. I think Chad was gonna try to take it. I was, I bet. I gotta take the Wes Kaden Coyotes. Yep, yep, yep. From Wes Kaan, Texas.

You want to see the new Twitter end zone dance? He said, he said, I don't want your life. Yeah. He told his dad off right mid game. They had also one black player who was not getting the recruitment. He said, my mom does my recruiting, I'm going to Grambling. Uh... She got Grambling coming to see me. Damn, Mox, I thought you knew.

They go to a strip club... and see their teacher. That is so... Can you even imagine? Also playing out the fat guy, he has a pig that he goes everywhere with. Bacon. It's fine.

But overall, pretty good roster. John Voight was the coach, which was crazy. Nah, he did his thing on that. He was trying to get kids to hit the quarter zone, for sure. Yeah, yo, yeah, oh yeah. Paul Walker was putting that needle deep in the knee. Mox had to stand up for him obviously. Billy Bob dude, he played Billy Bob in two different movies.

He was Billy Bob in Not Another Teen movie as well. Yeah, nobody cared. Who knows the names of people in Not Another Teen? I think that movie's fantastic. That movie's fantastic. I had that DVD. You don't gotta know anybody's name to be in it. Jake Wyler.

You can enjoy that movie and not retain no names. No, that's slept on. Cause Chris Evans notoriously didn't like it for a while, which is always a bummer to me cause it's such a funny movie. Anyway, now we're talking about. Getting pussy no matter what. Even if it's with a filthy slut.

True love is what I want the most. I just jerked off I knew that song was gonna come up though That was yeah, man fuck I went I think I've told this before, but my high school girlfriend, our first date, our first date, I took her to Varsity Blues and I was scared to go. I was nervous. So I told a bunch of my friends to meet us there and I acted like it was an accident. So we showed up and I was like, oh shit, the whole crew's here. Look at that.

Oh shit, there's 10 dudes. It was me hanging out and I was like, oh shit, the whole crew's here. Look at that. Oh shit, there's 10 dudes. It was me hanging out and I didn't even talk to her. I'm pretty sure Adam, I'm pretty sure Adam hung back and like talked to her and I just, I hung around with my friends because I was nervous. And we went to varsity blues. Look at you now. You got a baby. Yeah. Oh, I don't, I don't know if Laura's ever even seen varsity blues. I can't imagine that's gonna change. Yes, the West Canaan coyotes, fantastic third pick.

I gotta go back to back again. So for my third pick, I'm gonna go on the villain squad again, I'm gonna go Cobra Kai. I wanna be a member of Cobra Kai. Hey, you know what? Debatable, but it is a team. All from dodgeball. No, this is the? Debatable, but it is a team. Oh, from dodgeball. No, no.

The Karate Kid. The original team. Oh, the Cobra Kai. Oh, sweet. Swing the leg. But I'm saying, because it's a team because they're at the tournament. They have a team tournament. So does that count?

I think so. They're a squad. I kind of want to... It's on the line, but I'll give it to you. I think that's it. I feel like they're a team. Yeah. I don't know how much... I don't know the rules of karate like you, but I- It's because it was a 1v20.

It was definitely a team. This was the original 1v20. They were just, I don't know. Even when I was like, man, they do look cool. They're, I mean, I know they're being mean, but like they're not being- Those were bad guys. They had that- They're not being bad mean.

They had the headbands. What do you call that? Is there a term for the, cause the suit is called the key. Unnecessary is what you call that. They had that. They had the headbands. What do you call that? Is there a term for the, cause the suit is called the key. Unnecessary is what you call that. Is there something you call the headband? Did you ever tie Kwon Do in one of those headbands? No. Well, gosh, maybe when I was feeling myself.

I went, you know, I was four when I started, four to 15 or whatever. So at some point in there, I'm sure I did some weird shit, but um, I don't know. What belt did you stop at? Second degree black belt. He went all blue. Hey.

Yeah, I'm out of here. You hear about the num checks in the garage? He's, he's talented. Playboy. Just because you got num checks in the garage don't mean you trained. No, there's a- We got the internet now. It ain't like, it ain't like the, back in the day, we had to know where to get the catalog. Like, Bezos got the num chucks coming to the house whenever he needed them.

Where'd you get those? Bezos brought them to me. I wouldn't even worry about it. Where didn't I get these? Oh bro, that's hilarious. Yeah, I started when I was four and I went until I started skating. Otherwise, my plan was to open up a taekwondo gym,

be a teacher. That's what I wanted to do. This would be a much different podcast if you were a taekwondo instructor. But yeah, Cobra Kai, man, they always, oh, so you know that one, the one of them that was actually scary is Butch or something. He's the Dutch maybe he's that guy.

The main one, the main, the main kid. Well, Johnny was the main kid. He wasn't actually scared. It was one of them. The coach, like the old, like the adult. Now one of the kids actually seemed like he would, like he was ready to kick the shit. It was, it was the guy in the locker room when he's like, he goes like, points are no, you're dead meat.

He's like, does that right when Daniel's like, getting his shoulder hooked back up or whatever, or his knee. He's Steve McQueen's kid, found that out the other day. Damn. The director of 12 Years a Slave? Different one. Probably. I mean, I was gonna talk brought it up. I hate when two people got the same name. It's like, now, you ain't special. What's up with you, man? I know you in Great Britain, but, bro. Put an R in it.

Put an R. Just be Steve R. McQueen, goddammit. Yeah. Don't be a new Steve McQueen. Come on, man. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen.

I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen.

I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve McQueen. I'm not gonna be a new Steve in it. Put an R, just be Steve R McQueen, God damn it. Yeah, don't be a new Steve McQueen, come on, man. That's stolen values. You're doing it because you know that we're gonna think this is the guy from Bullet. Right.

Yeah, so, um. The cover guy, that's a good pick. That's a good pick. As a Taekwondo guy, shouldn't you have beef with karate? I thought y'all didn't like rock with each other like that. Barely a difference. From what I was always told, they're just Taekwondo's more feet

and karate's more punching. Like at the base level, that's the big difference. Let's not, let's not say that. Hold on, hold on. Taekwondo's Korean. Oh, okay. Taekwondo's Korean. Let's not say that they're barely any different like one comes from a whole different country. Come on where i'm from

I completely different fighting style. Well, I guess I was talking about the styles, but yeah wax on it playboy Karate's I believe it's definitely Japanese. It's Japanese taekwondo is for sure Korean. Yeah And you came in with all this gusto. I thought you were gonna hit me with more than one pack. They both not in the Olympics anymore. One of them got kicked out of the Olympics. Karate's not in the Olympics. Taekwondo is. Yeah, it's not, you know, it's all back spins

in the Olympics. They just go for the head shot. It's like knockout stuff. I love your issues with Olympics martial arts. Ah, because it looks, it's so beautiful when they, but it's like, it's not when you're just going, when you're trying to hit someone in the back of the head with your heel,

it's just a lot of like waiting. So yeah, the Olympic Taekwondo isn't amazing, but yeah, you know what? No, I can't do it. That's a real team. You guys ever watch best of the best? Yes. Yeah. The Van Damme? No, Eric Roberts. A poor man's Van real team. You guys ever watch best of the best? Yes. Yeah

No, Eric Roberts I'm thinking of Bloodsport. No Bloodsport. God, that's amazing, too But no best the best Eric Roberts Chris Penn They like they they fight team USA fights team Korea in the world taekwondo tournament neither here nor there anyway fourth pick I'm gonna take it to the baseball field. You guys tell me if this counts, because I don't know the name of the team, but I'm gonna pick the Sandlot Crew.

Oh yeah. They do, they play a game. They do. They play against the organized team. I don't know if they got a name. I don't think they have a name. They're just them, they just them over there. They got a lot of names for Babe Ruth.

Yeah, the great Bambi. The Sultan of Swat. The Colossus of Clouds. The Colossus of Clouds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was a, that was, man, talk about a team you wanted to be on. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you had the leader, so you didn't really have to do too much other than show up. Like, Benny handled everything. You just had to show up, do your part, and you got to be with this sick crew, who like, it was known that they were amazing at baseball. Like, the neighborhood knew it.

They knew what time it was. And they chewed tobacco. And they chewed tobacco. No, they were little at baseball. Like the neighborhood knew it. They knew what time it was. And they chewed tobacco. And they chewed tobacco. No, they were little bad ass kids. Yeah. One of them slight, you know, pressing up on a grown up woman, remember? Oh yeah, Wendy Peffercorn.

Squint's is. Squint's is. Squint's that shit is, yo, Squint's is sus as fuck for that. And then they got married. Right. Then they end up together. Yeah, they ended up together. We watched that the last day of middle school. We watched the Sandlot in the auditorium. And I remember because like so there there were some kids that were supposed it was the last day of seventh grade because I still thought I was in the Crips.

So word on the street was there was a bunch of kids are going to show up to our middle school and they'd beat the shit out of us. And so we're sitting there watching the Sandlot and I'm like, man, it's gonna be different when the Sandlot's over. Because I was like, we're gonna go outside and get in this fight.

So my buddy had his big brother come pick us up and he had maybe like a foot long knife on his belt. And he just walked into our middle school and got us. And then we walked past these kids that were there. They did show up and they didn't do anything. But just such a weird thing from watching the stand-by. Your childhood was heroic. Where was the truancy officer?

I got stabbed. He was lying out front. No, I swear to God, we didn't have, there weren't, no one was around schools back then. We didn't have people, teachers, but there were no, there were no like school cops at all, especially in middle school. Yeah, they ran into some real cops to get in trouble. Yeah, we didn't have, that's the thing, they weren't around, so there was just the adults,

but they didn't, you know, I know, yeah, they just weren't trying to get involved, really. There were so many fights at our schools. So many fights. Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about, the Sandlot. Yes, the Sandlot. I just start crying, punching the wall. Nothing's been the same since the Sandlot got done that day.

Jesse from the Mighty Ducks is on this team as well. Yeah, he's the pitcher. This guy, he gets around. He was cool too, he was cool. Man, I wonder how that casting, they probably had something to do with each other. Anyway, yeah, the Sandlot, fourth pick. David, what do you got?

Fourth pick, I gotta take it to the Wizarding World, I'm taking the Gryffindor Quidditch. God dog! Wow, also had that on my list too. Come on. Come on, the youngest seeker of all time. Let's go, baby. No, he was squatted.

He went crazy. Come on, you had the Weasley brothers as beaters. Cedric Diggory was the team captain. I think Cho Chang got on there later. I'm not sure. I didn't know there was a Cedric at Hogwarts. Yeah, Cedric Diggory, he got killed. I ain't really read the books like that, like that. I didn't know there was a Cedric in the mix.

I gotta find out about him. You gotta, it's a sad story. He dresses like the real Cedric. He's also, he's really Cedric the Entertainer. Cedric the Entertainer, Diggory. He's just walking around with a swish shirt. He got it. His wizarding war is a giant blue stripe. Yeah.

It's not impossible. I had them down. I got dangerously close to downloading Hogwarts Legacy so I could play Quidditch the other day. Me and my girls just watched the fourth movie the other day and it all held up. Which one does it start getting real where people for real start dying?

I think it's like the fourth one is where, and then the rest of the movies are like darker. Yeah, that's wild. When is that kid? Now they're teens. Yeah, Isaac said yeah, the fourth one. Yeah, because that kid, like a kid died. Yeah, Isaac said, yeah, the fourth one, like, yeah, cause that kid, like a kid died, like. Yeah, that's Cedric.

Man, they did Cedric like that, huh? I don't know. Portman out for Cedric, man. Do you think LaVita was at the funeral? You think LaVita was at drinking? Yeah, I think she was wearing an airbrushed t-shirt of his face. Come on, Dumbledore's boss man for sure. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Who's Romeo in bullet head if we're saying that Hogwarts is the Steve Harvey universe? Oh, come on, that's easy.

There's definitely a couple dumb ass homies. Romeo and Bullion, they probably on the other side. They probably ain't in Gryffindor. They're in Slytherin. Yeah, they running with. Yeah, Romeo and Bullion. They're like Hufflepuff, cause they just don't know no better.

That's old boys little backup goons. The blonde kid, what's his name? Draco Malfoy. Yeah, that's Malfoy's little goons. Once again, just watched it. Crabbit, Crabbit Goyle. Yeah. Just watched it three days ago.

Yeah, I got to take the Quidditch team. That was, remember that first movie, when that first movie came out and you saw Quidditch? Exciting, exciting, exciting. Great game. I think Quidditch is closest to. On the Nimbus 5000. They're trying to give it like,

they're trying to make it like soccer, right? Soccer for witches, right? I think it's also got a handball aspect to it. Like the Olympic handball. That's the worst part. I can see some lacrosse in there. It was some goofy people when I was in college that would play Quidditch on the quad

in front of the honors dorms. And it's like, damn, these are the smartest people in the school, and they run around playing a fake game. Did they have brooms? Were they brooms? They had, they had, I feel like they had brooms. I feel like they weren't, yeah, I mean, they was on foot. Swippers, they had swippers.

They had brooms between their legs for sure. That's gnarly. That's so funny. I don't know about that. But yes, Gryffindor Quidditch team, fantastic. But you're going Gryffindor, right? You can pick any of them, right? Gryffindor, yeah, Gryffindor.

All right, Rob, what do you got? Number, round four. I really thought I was gonna shake things up with the Harry Potter. I'm gonna have to go with a team from television. Now I've never seen they highlights. Well, first of all, I have to see the team play, right? What do you mean?

Coming to America, Prince Hakeem got a uniform of something, but I ain't really see him. Oh, it's like a polo uniform, right? But we didn't see him play polo, so I'm not going. Wow. You broke down the Samunda Polo team. Samunda Polo team. Samunda Polo team.

We don't know how good they did. We just know he's 21. He got the uniform on. We don't know who played. You know what I'm saying? His brain intact. We don't really know. You know what I'm saying?

We just know he need a bath. We really don't know. Ah! Ah! Ah. That's crazy. So I'm gonna have to go with the Bayside Tigers, man. They beat Valley, you know what I'm saying? All their highlights was in black and white. I don't know where they got that footage from. I don't know what was up with their cameras.

They rich as hell, but they footage in black and white. But yeah, I'm gonna go with AC Slater. Your man was a running back, you know what I'm saying? You never seen him with pants on. You didn't have to. You knew what he was out there doing. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, go Bayside.

Come on, they have bars. They have Hot Fudge Sunday on the sideline. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm going with the Bayside Tigers from Saved by the Bell. Okay. All right. I thought I was gonna get the Bayside Tigers.

Slater was the only athlete. Do you remember when they made Zach, they made Zach a good basketball player? Zach's like basketball and track, but you never saw it. Yes, track. That was right where you're like, yeah. He was allegedly an amazing athlete, Zach.

Mm-hmm. Indonesian guy. Who? Zach Mark Paul Gosling. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, but that was on the low. That was a big secret in the 80s and the 90s. Yeah, that he was in it. Come on man.

AC Slater, is his character named after OJ's homeboy? We'll never know. We'll never know. You remember when they got in a fight, Zack and Slater? Yeah. Of course. That like legit fist fight. I remember being so hyped up when I was just like

ready to go when I saw it. I was like, no, no, they're not. The fight was fake, but them pushes was real. The pushes was, that was that. Yeah, they were pushing. I just saw a clip of that on Instagram recently. I watched a little, tiny little interview with Mark Paul Gosler about that, about how they were.

He was like, yeah, he pushed me really, really hard. And he's, you know, he's very in shape. So it's an interesting scene. He also said they couldn't do that today. What, just that, the energy about it? Yeah, cause he said, you know, it's not like they have real like stunt coordinators, fight coordinators and like, you know,

some of the padding and stuff they have now. Like they really had to like, they really was slamming each other on the floor. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, turned, yeah, changed me a little bit when I saw that. That and the fight in Dangerous Minds. You guys remember that fight in Dangerous Minds when that dude fought two guys in the locker room?

Do you remember that? It was in the trailer. I remembered in the trailer, it's a big dude, Emilio, fighting those two smaller dudes and he just threw one upside down into the locker. Remember that shit? I remember watching it in middle school and I was just like, I was like,

I gotta see this movie. I have to see this movie. I found a trailer to this movie that was after Dangerous Minds and it's like a darker version with Samuel Jackson where he kills a kid and it's called 187. Yeah. Oh yeah. Y'all know about this?

Yes. Oh gosh. I've only seen the trailer recently and I was like, why did they hide this from me? This looks nuts. I don't know. He's teaching a school full of skinheads and then they're like, maybe we didn't kill him. Maybe it's the teachers.

It's like the whole movie's in the trailer. I went, I mean, so my buddy, so my buddy, the house that you wanted to go to to do the shit that your mom, you know what I mean? Like where we could rent rated R movies and stuff. His dad would let us do whatever we wanted. So we rented this one night. I don't remember any of it, but we did. We rented it just to be like,

because I watched every one of any movie I could get my hands on that look like that? It was not 187 go watch 187 This is getting weird Jamal time for wait am I right wait. Yeah, I think that's me Yeah, you're up. I think I'm four and four and five coming up four and five Okay, and the rent the bottom of my list is, it's getting interesting, but I think it's time for me to pick the best fictional

basketball team in Miami, the Slip and Slide All-Stars. No! From the Take It to the House video. What? No! Yeah. Get the fuck out of here! Yes, yes. That's crazy. No, there's no way you had that on your list.

We got that fire, of course I had that on my list. Are you kidding? Trini's the cheerleading captain, you think that wasn't on my list? She's wearing a basketball jersey, she's eligible. You fools! Of course it was on my list. Oh.

Trick Daddy makes a free throw that shatters the backboard. One guy, I think it was either A+, it was either A+, or.com,.com bounced the CGI basketball off the camera. It was either A+. Edward James is there. Edward James is playing in all golds. This team is incredible. All we need is a Nick Quest video. I was so far away from having that on my list.

It was blue and yellow, right? Were they blue and yellow? Yeah, it was blue and yellow. I literally watched the video last night so that I could make sure that they were as dominant as I remember it. And I was like, there's no way Jamel's picking the Slip N Slide All Stars.

Oh, brother man. Yes, I am. Crazy. God damn it. That's my dog, bro. That is gnarly. Man, I'm not even gonna hold you. You really went crazy.

I think Trick Daddy, Trick Daddy catch like three oops. I think they win by like 50. Is Wayne there too? There's a fight. Someone, someone throws the chair in the fight. Hey, they had that fan, that the locker room was all lit yellow. You remember that? Yeah.

Laro's gold. Man, get the fuck out. That's not even my favorite music video basketball team, but I respect them. No, but it's the best team. If you think about all of the fictional basketball teams in music videos, the Slip N Slide All Stars are ballin'. Can I say it?

I don't think anybody's gonna take, does anybody else have a music video? No, the No Limits, they don't even attempt that. The No Limits soldiers, they don't even attempt that. Master P played professional basketball. But the No Limits soldiers basketball team. But Shaq was watching the game. Yeah, they didn't even.

Shaq didn't suit up. It was, who was it? It was like Mia X. Also, it's hard to make shots with Mystical sitting on the rim. Yeah, there's a tank in the middle of the court. They're not playing basketball. The Slip N Slide all-stars are getting in somebody's ass.

That game's all ducks. The Slip N Slide versus the Harlem Goats. And it's all ducks. Get Mystical off the rim. Maybe you might get some. We don't have any points. But it is. Wasn't somebody spinning a CGI basketball on their fingers?

This is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either a plus or one of them wanted to slip and slide lieutenants. Also, Rick Ross is probably somewhere in the background. Right. All right. That's a good job. Good job. And then OK. And then for my final pick, the toughest pick of the day.

I'm so good. And it's not gonna hit as hard as number four, but I think I gotta go with the hack and sack bulls from Brewster's Millions. What? I thought I could get it. Way. Nope.

Brewster's Millions. Nope. Fuck. John Candy had the umpire chain. John Candy, an adequate catcher. Richard Pryor, one of the greatest middle relievers in single-A baseball history. Head coach Richard Belzer, no, excuse me, take that back.

It ain't even Richard Belzer, it's Jerry motherfucking Orbach, nigga the goat. They play in the middle of a train track. They gotta stop when the train come. Yeah. Team got an unlimited budget out of nowhere because of some sort of cocaine fueled plot where Richard Brucker is just handed $40 million.

So then they just make, they just play the Yankees. Yep. They just get the Yankees to pull up. Man, that's a deep cut. That's a great pick. They just play the Yankees. They just get the Yankees to pull up. Man. That, that's a decut. Yeah, that's a great, that's a great pic. My dad sat me down one day and made me watch that. Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! You got in trouble at school and he made you watch Brewster's Million. I was young and I was probably 15 and he just, nice day out, middle of the day. And he just like,

we're watching Brewster's Millions and then I'm pretty sure we watched A Million to One right after that. Wowzers. That's a weird day. He was telling me something, get rich. Oh man. Get rich through magic.

Yeah, accidentally get rich and then just give it to me. Damn it. Man. Magnusak Bulls went crazy. Good job. I thought I was gonna get that. That's crazy. Rob, what do you got?

I'm really pissed, cause I was resting on my last pick, being the slip and slide All Stars, and I really should've did more work and more thought. And I'm glad my man Jamel, you know what I'm saying, went in and snagged me. You gotta look out. You gotta look out for me on them draft boards.

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't ready for that. I'm gonna have to go with Trey Parker and Matt Stone and just go with the only guys ever to play baseball. Yeah, yeah, the Milwaukee Bears. It don't get no more fictional. Yeah, it don't get no more fictional. I've never seen anybody else excel to the heights that they have in baseball. I've never seen a else excel to the heights that they have in baseball.

I've never seen a baseball game break out. So you know what I'm saying? They created South Park. I can get why they would let them create a whole sport in the movie. So yeah, it's Trey Parker, Matt Stone. I don't even know their character names for real. They're Trey and Matt in the movie.

They had a team name. What was the, yeah. They were the Beers. They were the Beers. Yeah, the. They had a team name. What was the, yeah. They were the beers. They were the beers. The beers, the beers. Oh, the team names are crazy. I believe the Atlanta team is the Atlanta Plantations. Damn. Holy buckets.

That makes sense. Damn, that hurts. Okay. The San Francisco team was a bad. I should have thought this out better. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. The San Francisco team was, I did, I looked at these, that's right, they're on a Wiki page, they are bad.

They're all bad. Yeah. Yeah. When did this come out? Probably like 99, right? Right after South Park popped, I think. Yeah, they let them say whatever. Also got Bob Costas in there. Calling baseball. Damn.

Damn. How do I close this out? What you gonna do, dawg? It's getting tight. It's getting tight. All right. I think... That ain't come to play, man. I can't believe it. When I talked to you today, I didn't even hit or nothing. Yeah, nor would I ever. Yeah, man, you gotta keep it close.

Ice water. You like that new LeBron commercial with his eyes closed the whole time. All right, all right, all right. Have I taken a baseball team yet? My only disappointment is I have two baseball teams on my... So far you got the Dolphins, you got Dennett Racing, the Coyotes, and Quidditch. So no, you got what?

Basketball, racing, football, and Quidditch. Alright. I think that... Ooh, there's two ways I'm going. I think I gotta take... It's an all-star team. I'm taking the Ghost team and Feel the Dreams. Whoa. Shoeless Joe Jackson and company.

The Dream of Ghost. Ray Theoda and them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta take- You're trying to build it. I gotta, yeah, they're gonna come. I gotta take the Ghost team. I think I assume, I assume at the end, James Earl Jones was like the first bass coach after

when he joined. I don't really know what his status was on the team. Yeah. Ghost team, field of dreams. Did James Earl Jones really rock with baseball or was that just casted? I feel like it was casted. It was, if they casted him for the voice and then the baseball was like secondary. Cause he in the sandlot.

He in field of dreams. That's true. If they casted him for the voice and then the baseball was like secondary because he in the sandlot He had the dreams. That's true He might be in bingo long in the in the traveling all-stars. That was another that was another pick that that that was also on my shit I thought they were real No, I don't think that was based on a true story Really? I thought that isotopes was real I thought the slip of slide all-stars was real. I thought Field of Dreams was real until just now. Yeah. Well, either way.

Was Shoeless Joe real, dude? No, right? No, I think the natural is real. The natural's real? The natural's real, Money Bob's real. Yeah, there's a lot, yeah. One of the real ones. Yeah, man, the lot, yeah. One of the real ones. Yeah, man, the Ghost team, Field of Dreams, love it.

I don't know what to close it out on. It's tough. There's one, you know, there's like my, do I have any football? I already got football. I like the idea of going all different sports. There's not a ton. There's a big one that nobody got, which is crazy.

Really? Yeah, it's just one David kind of said when I was picking Cobra Kai. Not even. No? Basketball, I don't even wanna say yet. Yeah, don't say yet. I'll wait till we get to our honorable mentions.

Oh. You know, I gotta go football again. I gotta go from the heart. I'm going ESU on the program. Yeah, I knew it. I thought you were gonna take that first. Nah, listen, the program is cold. That's a great one.

Dude, that, I mean, that was, okay, the height of me not getting any playing time during football. That was, I would watch that Welcome to the Jungle montage. Like, right before, where they practice or whatever. getting any playing time during football. That was, I would watch that Welcome to the Jungle montage. Like right before where they practice or whatever. It'd get me so hyped and then I would just go sit and not play.

What do you do when you don't have a place at the table? The whole game. I just, man, it was a bummer. We used to pee, I used to have to pee in bottles to keep our hands warm. People don't believe me, but the coach would tell us how to go pee in water bottles, like the little plastic water bottles, and just put our hands on bottles to keep our hands warm. People don't believe me, but the coach would tell us how to go pee in water bottles, like the little plastic water bottles, and just put our hands on them to keep our hands warm.

That's crazy, because you guys weren't even good, right? Our team was amazing. Our team won the championship every year I was on it. I wasn't good, so that hurts more. Because they would give me a charity quarter and they'd have to be up by so much. They'd give me and like three other kids. Because you had to put a kid in on city football. They had to play at least one quarter. because they would give me a charity quarter and they'd have to be up by so much, they'd give me and like three other kids, because you had to put a kid in on city football,

they had to play at least one quarter. Not like high school, I didn't play a single minute in high school. Okay, well then, okay, the rec league, peeing in a bottle for rec league actually makes more sense than high school. Yeah, I mean, rec league is a little much, I feel like that's adults.

We were on a city league, it was sanctioned, but yeah, he would, because it was like, there were woods right behind on the sideline and he'd yeah, we'd just go pee in bottles and it would keep our hands warm. Yeah. Anyway, man, I'm on the team with Latimer. I got, you know, Joe Kane on my team. I got Omar Epps is on my team. I'm doing all right. Halle Berry is at the games.

The program had some people in it, by the way. No, Halle being there is crazy. The tutor for the team is Halle. Sonny from the Godfathers coaching my games. Sonny Corleone out there. Yeah, yeah. We also got some quarters on for you if you need it. You can get shot up in any given moment.

I don't need it on the bench, but I don't mind it on the bench, you know? It's right there. So yeah, that will do it before I recap. Isaac, do you have any fictional sports teams you would like to pick? Yeah, AFC Richmond from Ted Lasso. Yeah, yeah.

Gotta do it. Absolutely. Hey listen, they got promoted a couple times. I believe. What's with the thumbs down, Rob? Not a fan? Rob hates soccer. He hates soccer? Rob hates the sport of soccer.

The whole premise of that show, get that out my face, bro. Rob's got a problem with soccer. You hate soccer? Rob hates the sport of soccer. The whole premise of that show. Yeah, I'm with you. Rob's got a problem with soccer. You dance with some people in football, you coach soccer, come on man. Hey listen, it's corny but it works on me. Oh dude, I love that show. I was crying every episode almost.

Nah, I ran two seasons back to back. I haven't finished it, but I did run two seasons back to back. The third season is not worth it. It's not good. There you go. I don't remember the third season. Well that, that is the draft.

That does it for fictional sports team. Run it back real quick. Jamel, you went first. You picked a team, the USA Ducks, the 94, 94 USA team. Little Giants from Little Giants. The Springfield Isotopes from the Simpsons. The Slip and Slide All Stars from the

Take It to the House video. Oof. Steel of the Draft. Killed ya. And the Hack and Sack Bulls from Brewster's Millions. Rob's you on second. Picked Miami Sharks from Any Given Sunday.

East Compton Clovers from Bring It On. The Monstars from Space Jam. The Bayside Tigers from Saved by the Bell. And Trey Parker and Matt Stone as the Beers and Baseball David, you went third. Western University Dolphins from Blue Chips, Team Dennett Racing from Talladega Nights, West Canaan Coyotes, Varsity Blues, I Don't Want Your Life, Gryffindor Quidditch team from Harry Potter, and the Ghost Team from Field of Dreams. I closed it out, I picked the Birdmen, Holler at Your Boy from Above the Rim,

the Dylan Panthers from Friday Night Lights, Cobra Kai from Karate Kid, Sandlot Crew from the Soundlot, and ESU from the program. Left some heaters on the board. Launched Charlotte Banshees from Juana Man. I mean, and the Knights, what city is the Knights? LA Knights.

Oh yeah. We left the LA Knights. Like Jersey Reynolds said, they was just a little kid away from the playoffs, right? Yeah. Crazy, crazy. The Bel Air Academy. Oh, no.

Landry Longhorns, the Bad News Bears. The little team from Hardball. The Cacumbas. The Cacumbas. I wasn't sure about that because it was a real story. And it also is sad as fuck. Wait, no, that was real? It was based on a true story, yeah.

It was. The guy wrote a book. The guy wrote a book about it. It sucks. That's messed up. The person that wrote it just... You know what I had? I had the...remember Lady Bugs? Yeah, I remember. With Rodney the Angel, John the Brandus. Colorado movie.

Every Republican's worst nightmare, a boy playing girl sports. They gave us this in like 93. Bad news bears. Yeah. Yeah. The Landry Longhorns if you watch. Arlen High Longhorns, right?

Tom Landry Longhorns. You know what I was trying to add? The Roswell Grays. Remember the X-Files episode where they said Satchel Payers was an alien? Oh my God, I could have picked the Roswell Ray Guns. Rob, you blew it, man. I blew it.

The Ray Guns? They are fictional. They did not exist. The Roswell Ray Guns is sick. Nike just made up a random team, a random ABA team, and they never explained how Vince Carter got to the past. You don't have to explain that.

Dodgeball. Forget about Dodgeball. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The Myrtle Beach Merman, Kenny Powers, Minnesota State's Green Eagles. The Toon Squad. Some of you took the Monstars, so it would have been redundant. Also the original Mighty Ducks. I would have accepted that that was a different team.

Yeah, yeah. I thought I was gonna get that, but when you came in with the USA. I like how we want when somebody's pick from one movie, we just like, or entity, we just stay it out of it. I respect it. I think it was- Yeah, it's always more fun like that when you get,

I don't know, it just feels like open it up a little bit. Shout out to Guy Germain on that team, USA Ducks team, by the way, a white guy with a koofy on. Gee Jermaine, remember? He had a girlfriend and he started wearing a koofy, bro. Whoa! He was lit. That's crazy.

Lit. I forgot that that was a fly point. Yeah. Why did he have a koofy? That Gee had a girlfriend and a koofy. He had like a purple turtleneck. Yeah. Yeah. Why did he have a blue neck? That Guy had a girlfriend in a blue neck. He had like a purple turtle neck. Yeah.

Oh, man. Let me get a picture of that guy. Yeah. That's so funny. It might take a second. That's so funny. Hey, Andre, after free age, I'm getting the Roswell Ray Guns. That's fair.

You gonna pick a six man? Yeah. Yeah, you can have a six man. You should. I'll cut basketball for them for sure. Oh, you've had some off season. We've never had an off season before. I got a whole summer league ready. Thank you so much for joining us.

It was an absolute pleasure. Super stoked. Shout out to everybody for listening. Everyone on the AFU Patreon, thank you for holding this down. Seriously, get over there. There's all kinds, I mean, we have 670 posts now. I just checked the other day. So if you join right now, you get all that.

It's years, years and years and years of content. So hop on there for the holiday season, have some fun. Shout out to everyone on the AFV subreddit. Thank you for, yes, stirring the pot, keeping things going. Shout out to, am I missing any shout outs before I go into the rappers? Howlron from Tekken, by the way. And Eddie, Budmasters Unite.

Eddie got no mentions today. We talking Taekwondo exclusively. Shit, what else? Watch, Ian got a Don't Tell set that dropped. He's not here, so I'm gonna plug for him. Watch his Don't Tell set, that just dropped. It's fantastic. Yeah, hop on the Patreon.

Isaac's Tasteful Nudes. He's got a white hoodie on today, so we're shaking things up over on the Patreon with Isaac's nakedness. It's a good time. Yeah, white socks, white hoodie, nothing else. Nudes with a white hoodie would be, that's crazy. Well hoodie, hoodie on where?

You know what I mean? Like where's it on? Just on a chair? Is there a mop behind you? Yeah man, shout out to St. Tuqormel, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, shout out to Frankie Ocean. More important than all that.

Tune in again, shout out to, wait, did I miss a shout out? I got it all there, but more important than all that. Tune in again next week. Shout out to David. Shout out to David. Tune in again, shout out to, wait, shit, did I miss a shout out? I got it all there, but more important than all that, tune in again next week. Shout out to David. Shout out to, shout out David. Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shickacademy! That was a head gum podcast.