All Fantasy Everything - Flavors (w/ David Gborie and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

Welcome to flavortown, All Family. On this episode, Sean, David and Ian give you a taste of their taste for tastes as they draft Flavors!Please keep donating to Black Lives Matter. Go to http...s://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ for ways you can show support.Sponsors:Feals - Become a member today by going to Feals.com/allfantasy and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Hims - Try hims today by starting out with a free online visit. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!Deck yourself out in some AFE goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from birds to hangover cures to fictional characters you'd want to date. Today, Sean Jordan, David Borey, and I are drafting flavors because there's never a bad time to draft flavors. Let's be honest. And more importantly, let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
Starting point is 00:00:45 The podcast that recently put out a candle and man, it smells good. Oh man. That'll happen. Just that 15 seconds after you put a candle out, get out of town. Oh, like after you snuff it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it feels the same way when you end a life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:01 I wouldn't know. Is that how we're starting this? Yeah. Man, that's how you're starting it. What are we, two minutes in? Holy cow. No. It's like quick, two minutes.
Starting point is 00:01:09 That was like 15 seconds. We're 15 seconds in. Well, we gotta let the newcomers know what we're about. Yeah, that's true. Death rattles. Welcome to death rattle. Welcome to death rattle. Welcome to death rattle.
Starting point is 00:01:22 A lot of death grips and grave diggers. That's mainly what we listen to. It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes. And David listens to Crazy Town sometimes, which is weird, but who am I to judge? I have to, but the B-sides. I'm in Crazy Town. The deep cuts. The deep cuts.
Starting point is 00:01:37 The Crazy Town deep cuts is where that music comes alive, man. I actually listened to the Butterfly remix with Blink-182. A lot of people don't. A lot of people haven't heard of that you got like a lot of people don't know they have songs about all sorts of bugs like butterflies just the tip of the iceberg that wasn't even good listen to praying mantis yeah you want to hear bars you want to hear bars this is where it's at yeah uh they got this fucking 18 minute ballad called ladybug and like oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah roly poly it's a great song it's about body image that's a feminist anthem yeah yeah sean would you like to volunteer a bug that perhaps crazy town uh pretend made a song about
Starting point is 00:02:19 centipede there it is okay i wish they could see what is that weird shit you just did with your hands is centipede the right answer that's correct i tell you doing this with your hands was not right they can't see but it was weird for those listening it was sort of a jeff goldblum it was half jeff goldblum half like groucho marx holding a cigar like finger yeah it looked like he was playing holding a cigar that was also a flute that he was playing he was summoning a centipede while he said centipede sean is wearing of course a polo shirt and sweatpants right now let's get into it dude it's tough when you put that on and you're like fuck man i feel great i feel good in it and uh it's a slippery slope i think i'm not because i'm not hearing the problem i can't
Starting point is 00:03:06 wear this a lot of when this is if this is ever done i can't just be this can't be who i am now you can wear that to a pet store i could i could wear it to a grocery outlet funeral yeah really yeah pet funeral grocery outlet pet store anywhere that has concrete floors a strip yeah anywhere concrete floor if you started playing cricket i feel like you could wear that to play cricket handball court cricket wireless store you could wear them too oh yeah go in and like compare like well t-mobile's got me on the hook for this and just like try to get a little bidding war going between cricket and t-mobile for my prepaid i saw two old dudes going at it at the handball court the other day. Just blowing each other?
Starting point is 00:03:45 Dude, old dudes love it. Dudes, they were having sex? These guys were blowing each other hard. I just saw two dudes. They were just, they were really fucking. I caught them and they were mad at me, so I just kept walking. I couldn't explain this to Laura the right way, but the other night in the group thread,
Starting point is 00:04:10 somebody said they were going to do a stone cold stunner. And I was like, well, I'm going to do a cold stone stunner. And in my head, the visual was, I said I was going to go in and get an ice cream headache and piss my pants while I was screaming. And the visual on that had me in bed laughing so much to where she's like, what are you laughing at? And I was like, well, imagine if I went in and tried to get an ice cream headache
Starting point is 00:04:28 and that pissed my pants and screamed out loud as far as i could i called it a cold stone stunner what time of the night is this that it was like 10 30 it was you guys were all up i was awake so it must couldn't have been that late what are you like, how's an ice cream until you get an ice cream headache? Are you peeing your pants? Yeah, like I bring in a football helmet and I was like, fill it up. And then I just start shoveling it in. Wait, you bring in a football helmet? What the fuck are you talking?
Starting point is 00:05:00 That's part of the fantasy? It's nonsense, man. I've been doing some weird shit in my mind. You have. I like it. I'm all for it it's great yeah you're up there in portland like you're in the galapagos man you're on your own island and you're evolving in your own way right now yeah i like the weird shit in your mind it's just you eating ice cream out of athletic equipment yeah the screaming and peeing my pants part was the funny part to me in this scenario do you give them a dollar so they have to tip like sing the tip song too like ring the bell and everything hell yeah is there a tip song in cold stone yo what i haven't been to a cold stone in years
Starting point is 00:05:35 yeah i don't really eat a lot of ice cream yeah me neither if you tip them i don't either anymore but if you tip them they ring a bell or whatever and then they have it's a whole thing where they like bang their mixers on the counter and stuff i don't know how the song goes but yeah they got do you do any of you i just told you i didn't even know what the practice was the practice is a spin-off of gray's anatomy of which i've seen 82 episodes of so far the practice is a spin-off of gray'somy yeah you find out deep pretty deep into season three I think that there's going to be a spinoff called Private Practice damn so now I gotta watch that damn son yeah yeah you're 82 episodes into Grey's Anatomy and I've cooled out in the last week yeah
Starting point is 00:06:15 if I if I didn't hit the brakes I'd be on 100 it means I'd be on 100 if I didn't pump the brakes a little bit but Queer Eye came out what do you? I haven't watched the new Queer Eye yet. Oh, it's so good. I haven't watched it either. It's fantastic. Is it better than the old ones? Because the old ones were amazing. No, I don't think you get better than like season one is just so...
Starting point is 00:06:34 I just wasn't ready for how much I was going to cry during all that. So I don't, you know, you can't like get hit again with it. But it's still really, really good. It's definitely not dry eye for the straight guy. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. dry eye for the straight guy you know no no no absolutely not wet eyes for the straight guy queer eyes make sean cry we i remember when we were like it was you when you and zach both lived in the fortress of solid dudes we were watching it
Starting point is 00:06:54 yeah and all three of us in three separate chairs were crying but like not looking at each other but like we all knew we were like fucking like sniffling like yeah yeah yeah not an ill word spoken we knew when you cry i love that show um what were we talking about saving for the i was telling that story about how i cooked up sean killing a nazi i cooked up the fantasy where i was walking around the neighborhood i was listening i was listening to the new run jewels there's a day it came out there's a song in there called ground below i want to say and it fucking slaps and i was and i was in a you know it's tense lately and i'm walking around and like i did notice that my chest was like undulating like i was like knocking to the beat and i had it looked now it looked like david just fell out of a chair
Starting point is 00:07:45 no it fell off the books i was propping it up on it's because of the static bat in the zoom background yeah we can't see your background so it looked like you fell on your computer that was awesome anyway um i cooked up this whole scenario in my head because i was very i was feeling tough and i was like man i wish some dude would just like some nazi dude would come pull up and hop out of the car with a gun pointed at me. And I'd be like, and this is what in my head I was going to say. I was going to say, put that gun down. We'll see what time it is, you fucking coward.
Starting point is 00:08:14 In my head. You need to say it like you planned on saying it. Here it is. I'm going to pull the blicky out and you say it to me. I didn't plan on telling this story. It was embarrassing. I don't care. It's too late now.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I'm going to pull it out on you and you say it. All right. Ready? All right. So you walk around i'm gonna laugh i'm gonna laugh say something to me first like don't just pull the gun all right i'm okay i'm gonna laugh i'm a nexi why don't you why don't you put that gun down, fucking coward? We'll see what time it is. I can't. Why don't you pick your words better, mush mouth bitch? Why don't you put that fucking gun down, nephew?
Starting point is 00:08:54 We'll see what time it is real quick. Why don't both of you put your guns down? Yeah, you didn't count on me showing up, dude. I'm Irish in this scenario. With your tanks and your bombs and your bombs and my guns. Put the guns down and kiss, boys. Kiss, boys. Nice.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I'll give you each $100 to kiss. I say this is a crazy block. Portland has changed a lot, man man in the last 10 years oh man yeah sean s jordan on twitter sean cougar mel and jordan on instagram for god's sake oh the other story i was gonna tell that's right i said i'd save this i once recorded my oh that's right so just in one of them i once recorded myself singing uh murder was the case and i gave it to a girl in sixth grade as a gift like hey that's right. So just to one of them, I once recorded myself singing Murder Was the Case, and I gave it to a girl in sixth grade as a gift.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Like, hey, look how hard I am. Were you courting her? I liked her. I forget her last name. It was Tammy something. Not all my friends listening. Not the Tammy you're thinking. It was a different Tammy.
Starting point is 00:09:59 But I grew up in a white ghetto. I'll save it for you. I knew multiple Tammys. I wasn't going to even say that. I don't know. know i have no i don't know anything about the name tammy so how did you send it to her was it through cd we didn't have cds when i was 12 that's that's just that's just crazy they existed i was too busy buying levi's silver tabs as big as they would make them. So I sang that and I gave it to a girl, but it reminded me, we were at a New Year's party one time and I think, I want to say it was Can't See Me, that Tupac song, Can't See Me.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go? Which way did he go? The one with George Clinton. And we were at my friend Corey, who's the DJ for Soul Crate which is a hip-hop group from Sioux Falls and they're fantastic but I was like it was a New Year's Eve and I was like hey I want can we get can we go in the booth I want to try to rap something he's like yeah sure so he had the instrumental for Can't See Me and I was like all right I'll
Starting point is 00:10:58 do it without the words I can't say because I was I knew it well enough so I did it so we go down there just the two of us I get in in the booth. I start rapping for real. I was not joking because I wanted to hear how it sounded. By the time I was done with the first verse, I opened up the booth door. The whole party was now down there laughing at me because they could hear me as loud as you. They could just hear me trying to rap.
Starting point is 00:11:19 I came out and I could not get These are like my best friends in the world. I could not get through them fast enough. He's still got it. I've asked him for it a couple times. I bet he's still got it. And if he does. Tell him I will give him $1,000.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will match that. Yeah, absolutely. I'll ask. I'll hit him up. I've done it a couple times, but he's pretty good about saving shit. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I tried to rap. That was the one time where I was like, I'm really going to try. How did that party end? Oh, I don't know. I was rapping. So what do you think ended up at the party? I don't know what happened. You kind of got to go home after your daughter.
Starting point is 00:11:53 The party hasn't ended. The party hasn't really ended for Sean after that. It's still happening, man. That's when it started. Louis Weymouth, who's been on this podcast, so you guys know, one of his things he likes to do is like say sing as well as you can like pick a song right now like give me your best like singing voice and that is it's a fun way to tell if people that's difficult that's scary well yeah
Starting point is 00:12:19 but it was like i always tell people to do their best yoda impersonation because it's the same thing where you can someone's either like no i can't do that they get embarrassed singing is like a little different thing i'm trying to think of a song to try to say everybody yoda is not embarrassing if you blow it yeah blow it you might you know like whatever that's fine we're talking about that those two guys on the handball court again uh screaming features i like just going out on the handball court i know i've told you guys this but i once went in a booth a kiosk and recorded myself singing god must have spent a little more time on you to give a vhs copy to my girlfriend in high school and i tried as hard as i could yo i feel like you have enough of these you going in
Starting point is 00:13:01 the booth stories that we might just gotta get you in the booth i think we do like i feel like it's happened too many times for it to be some sort of like silly coincidence yeah you want to be in that booth i do i want to be the deep voice guy on too thick so if you two would get in the booth i think you want to be the rap guy on whatever your album is called i do dave and i are getting dave and i are getting jerked around by uh by by arrest the record so like yeah that's all smoothed out yeah you want to hear too too thick maybe talk to clive davis yeah get clive on the horn all right i said it i fucking said it he doesn't even pick up my phone calls anymore because when he does who's texting jimmy ivine i mean like a jerk off over here what am i just some jerk off to you that's why i said the clive i said clive quit clive
Starting point is 00:13:52 clive it's carmel i know you know that all right now quit ripping my dick off and let us put this song out i told him i said clive more like jive records you know what i mean what the fuck are you talking about i was in the other room but i heard him say it yeah and then i was like they don't pull this shit at columbia rough house no you got him dude you got him i said get your hand off my dick before you rip it off and let's put this on man i'm playing hardball with them left and right you know i know how the music industry works trying to rip my dick off i'm trying to put one one that you used to say that always got me was sucking off yeah it's two guys on the handball court getting sucked off fucking sucking off i've been sucking off five you know i've been sucking off clive davis for
Starting point is 00:14:44 like six months trying to get this album out finally i fucking i'm freaking snapped i don't know i like the idea of the idea that doing business is just talking about different oral i'm over here i'm i'm double clicking the mouse of every executive at fucking arista records i got la i got la reed on my fucking ring doorbell thing right now i'm talking to him on my ring doorbell i got freaking clive davis ripping my dick off on the speakerphone meanwhile adele's wanting me to drink out of a water bowl i don't know what's going on we're just trying to put a freaking dadgum record out for god's sake i mean what do i gotta do do i gotta do the butterfly technique to get ludicrous to drop a guest verse i gotta butterfly this dude i'm writing my name on this clip i'm just
Starting point is 00:15:39 going the alphabet i have my dick back so i can sew it on and sing this fucking song clive davis so that's just what the music industry is like i know people have been wondering where the track is but that's just gonna listen to one of these one day and it's gonna be so funny which one it's like yeah that's what i do suzannelle is listening right now different ivan might be listening he's been listening lately shout out to ivan what up ivan uh so you have nothing to promote nobody does nothing you know i'll be getting more flasks i emailed about flasks the other day so you know those will be on the site pretty soon who doesn't want a flask in quarantine they go together hand in hand you know so anyway i'll
Starting point is 00:16:21 talk about it but uh yeah that's coming up otherwise the album's called the buck starts here and it's available where on a special thing records thank you but for bringing that you're a special thing you're you guys are all special things i'm pretty excited about it dick off let me host this podcast yeah throw your dick in an alligator's mouth you keep talking to me like that god's sake david boy he's slurping my my tie i'm trying to handle some business all right fucking quit my box clive davis yeah quit in my box maybe if you had a little bit of less french onion in that soup i'd chug it down faster you know what i mean i don't know what i'm talking about i don't know my stomach ache just got so much worse that's because you're drinking syrup it is not because I'm drinking syrup.
Starting point is 00:17:06 It's not at all. Just so the listeners are clear, yes, you are. You're drinking grape Safeway Select. Is it Safeway Select? Signature Select, dude. Signature Select. So grocery store brand grape soda. It says artificially right on it.
Starting point is 00:17:21 That's how dumb they think the people that buy this soda are, where they're like, what do you mean? Oh, yeah, it is artificially flavored. You win. how dumb they think the people that buy this soda are where they're like what do you mean oh yeah it is artificially flavored all right so it's not you get the rest of the case i don't know what those seeds were then damn it boy the g is on twitter cool guy jokes 87 on instagram how are you doing my friend oh tough times but you know onward and upward we do what we can tough times dude they keep doing what we gotta do till we get back on our feet that's what i say that's right absolutely do you have anything do you have where can people fuck with you right now uh i think you
Starting point is 00:17:56 can i think maybe you can buy my half hour somewhere go buy it uh i got a tv show with will smith coming out soon yeah uh you know donate to blm or whatever thing for the cause you want to do i'm on no i'm not on anything i can't i can't remember i don't it's a strange i don't know i'm not working who fucking knows you're on two computers is what you're on. Come on. Look at me. I'm hacking. I'm a hacker. Speaking of donating to Black Lives Matter, thank you to the all family who matched our donations.
Starting point is 00:18:35 That was really cool. The family shows up whenever they're called upon. It's a good family. I saw there were a few. I tried to respond to as many as I could. I saw there were a few people who were like, sorry, it's only 10 bucks or it's only five bucks. Listen, we know, I mean, people are in different places economically, given anything is fucking
Starting point is 00:18:52 sick. So like, if you gave what you can, man, like, don't like, please don't feel bad about any of that. It's, it was really amazing and cool. And, uh, it's what we should be doing. So fucking shout out to y'all. True story. I also have a question.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Can you, are you allowed to be a hacker if you can't type fast like a hunt and peck hacker i had a dream that i was a hacker and then my first thought when i woke up was that i can't type fast you gotta watch swordfish he's over there got a gun to his head getting sucked off trying to do sucked off trying to that movie i thought that's what the internet was like for a minute where they're like i wasn't he goes go blow him and you're like what in the world that would john travolta is just i think it would be hard to do anything if john travolta's watching me get blown yeah man i couldn't blow my load if john travelta's watching me get blown. No way. No. Talking about all these made-up
Starting point is 00:19:47 terms. Oh, yeah, it's a double snake encryption. Black side with the undertow. And you're like, I don't think this is real. It's a Domino's pizza double cake thick flip. You gotta... I have to reroute the... I don't even know enough about computers to fake...
Starting point is 00:20:02 He was line crazy shit and then he was always like the mctwist is spiraling it's a mitsubishi galant secure the payload secure the payload now before she's done sucking you up i've unlocked the cheech but the chong is still encrypted i don't know what to do oh that happens to me all the time yeah the chong is always encrypted the chong is encrypted there's that hacker website you guys you guys messed with that every every now and again hacker typer yeah it's fun yeah i don't even go on there david type in hacker typer do a google search and it'll bring up like a blank like a dos looking screen and you just start pounding buttons and it does like
Starting point is 00:20:44 hacker shit it's dope anything you type it makes it look like you're hacking into the main front it's amazing oh that's exciting you can just start pounding keys like you're all fast and dope and then you know it's tough i don't even understand can you hack with firefox do i gotta get something different see i don't even know i don't even know that first thing about it i have no idea you don't even need the hack but she's not saying shit that's why she's in canada i'm not saying shit she's she is she in canada or is she in she's is she in the in the mainframe that's yeah it took me a long time to get it out it took me a long time here's a little free piece of advice for you go to redtube.com and hack into a good time my friend you can do that free. You don't need skills or anything.
Starting point is 00:21:28 You are RedTube? What is this, 99? You're going to RedTube? You gotta remember where he's at on his journey. You're gonna get viruses on your iMac. You keep going to RedTube.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Stop downloading shit on LimeWire. No, Willie Nelson didn't do a song with Lil Wayne don't download it go on to Morpheus and type in nude shower sex you know I do bear share LimeWire go on to Kazaa and type in
Starting point is 00:21:58 Ferrari bone and see what happens well that's my mixtape Ferrari bone I'm Ian Carmel See what happens. Well, that's my mixtape. Ferrari bone. I'm Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish is the first part. Oh, God. Jewish. Hold on. I'm not going to look at my phone. I'm not not gonna look at my phone i'm not gonna look at my push that shit out get it get it jewish jewish amtrak app there it is
Starting point is 00:22:33 the only train we'll take anymore jam track that's right jam track jam track damn it it's the blue star line it's fucking beautiful it's beautiful was jam track also wasn't that like one of those cell phone ringtone plans oh jam track mobile for soldier boy on your phone it was it was one of the ones that had commercials yeah and then like that gummy bear song yeah jam back or jam something i don't remember it jim jam you don't remember that you'd get like crazy frog and you'd get like uh you get like other weird ones yeah i'm a gummy bear oh yes i got me there you guys remember that i remember i don't know what you're talking about you don't remember the jamster it was jamster yeah it was jamster it was where you get ringtones yeah yeah a bunch of shit i just sounded like so old where you get ringtones ringtones
Starting point is 00:23:28 there's somebody probably still living fat off his jamster money you know like i bet that i think his name is t-pain it's oh t-pain did make hella like i think i think they got i think during that like short era they were getting really paid off of ringtones. You got to get it. You got to get it however you can. That's when ringtones back. I make most of my money off ringtones nowadays, too. Pick up your phone! Like, it's just like that. You got to go to work.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Hey! Ooh, it's time to wake up. Man. Oh, God. It's time for you to get out of bed. Get as close to zach's ear as you can and do that oh my god it'd be funny he sleeps with two machetes dude i can't get anywhere near him yeah he probably sleeps in the driveway man kids kids out there he sleeps awake you know he's getting tan is he i saw him the other day. He's olive.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Yeah, and he's never worn a shirt less. It's amazing. Yeah, I wouldn't either, man. Yeah. Man's the color of cookie dough right now. That's so dank. I like it. He's beautiful. He's as beautiful as ever.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I have something to put Watch Game On on CBS. Wednesdays at 8 o'clock. Yes. It's good, man. Last night, you saw me dancing with the Laker girls, with James Corden and Venus Williams and Rob Gronkowski. Well, you call them Gronk because you guys are so tight, right? I call them Gronk and Venus.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Yeah. We're good friends. Yeah, the one that aired last week was the one that I was at. You're very good at it, man. I tried to take myself out like we don't know each other and you're just good at it so good job good on you thank you thank you very much yeah and also if you guys are on here and maybe uh you have a cbs code that you want to share with somebody and you could tweet that out because you can't stream it unless it's oh it's on cbs's website you can i do i'll text you mine text me that sean i will well remind me when we're done so i know you're gonna do it
Starting point is 00:25:30 my planes my phones and my planes parked outside my phone's in airplane mode and i will be taking it out afterwards but i will text you sean's recording from a blimp now we are gathered here today not only to talk about uh that kind of podcast by the way we are gathered here today not only to talk about game on uh which is on the columbia broadcasting system it's a fun frolic for friends and family when you guys were recording did you ever hit him with the wayne's world game on i did all the time and nobody knew what i was talking about damn i love that bit yeah dude me too oh i don't even own a gun. Let alone many guns. That would necessitate an entire rack. What am I going to do with a gun rack?
Starting point is 00:26:11 Zacula and I watched Wayne's World 2 the other day. Didn't even watch one. Just jumped right in. The best line. Hey, whoa, my girlfriend's in there. Listen, pal. A lot of guys' girlfriends are in there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:20 It's killer every single time. That's what I say about the AFE Patreon, when people try to get that content for free. A lot of people's girlfriends are in there. And just a lot of dudes. A lot of dudes are in there, too. A lot of dudes. A lot of dudes.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Dudes, there's some girlfriends. Pretty fun nicknames, though, on the Slack. I love it in there. Trill Murray's in there, so hop in there yeah true murray's in there so like it's you know hop in also bill murray's in there i know is it the real bill murray it's his yeah it's crazy he it's his center he calls it it's where he goes to find reconnect with bill we're getting man i haven't no you're doing okay you're doing good push i haven't hosted this in a while i haven't even talked to anyone in a while you know emmy's sitting in that living room bud for god's sake i know it there she is
Starting point is 00:27:09 i just made eye contact we're gathering today not only to make eye contact with my emmy but also to draft make thigh contact with you i do that every night dude that's where i can't fall asleep unless i feel the emmy between my thighs my emmy and miami are wildly close together uh bienvenido a mi emmy uh to draft flavors yeah fucking flavors this one patreon folk by the aforementioned patreon uh shout out to all 1000 plus of you thank you for holding us down that's you want to join the AFV Patreon look up All Fantasy Everything on Patreon and then sign up for it
Starting point is 00:27:50 and then stay in there forever it's two steps or I'll kill you no that's too far I'm sorry that's too far but please do it someone will kill you someone will kill you
Starting point is 00:28:04 or eventually you'll die I don't know's how it's gonna happen it might be smoking i don't know could be maybe like a jet ski falls off a truck i had a that's how i want to go i had a really really vivid dream you like a while like five or six years ago and i saw uh i was watching the news in my kitchen wherever I lived and it said 37 year old Sean Jordan was killed in a car crash and I thought about it most of the year I was 37. It was
Starting point is 00:28:33 so real. One of the most real dreams I've ever had. Very scary. So I thought about it more often than not when I was in cars when I was 37. Like it was a premonition. Well I've always thought I was going to die in a car crash. Can we bring it down real, real a lot? No.
Starting point is 00:28:49 I had a dream that Ian Carmel, age 35, got his frigging dick ripped off by Clive Davis when he was trying to put some art out for people to consume. So like... Marissa has laughed every single time. Some dreams come true, Sean. And some of those dreams are nightmares. You're yanking my dick off.
Starting point is 00:29:08 You gonna make dinner? As soon as I find my dick, someone ripped it off, so I don't know what to do about it. Ripped it off and threw it in the neighbor's lawnmower. I don't know what the fuck's going on. You know they're running around ripping dicks over here? I thought this was a good neighborhood. Yeah. I'd love to go to Whole Foods and pick up a rotisserie chicken for dinner, honey.
Starting point is 00:29:20 But unfortunately, Clive Davis just ripped my dick off. for dinner, honey. But unfortunately, Clive Davis just ripped my dick off. So maybe order something on Postmates. I don't understand why I can't stay in a relationship. This is what it's like to date me. I mean, that's a fun... It sounds like a blast.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Ha ha ha! Because Clive Davis just ripped my dick off. You know who else didn't know it was our anniversary clive dick ripping davis who fucking grabbed a hold of the base of my dick and torqued and pulled until that shit came clean off when yours truly was just trying to put a fucking track out oh man happy anniversary sorry dude it's a gift certificate it's for the sharper image they're not open anymore flavors the patreon picked flavors and we're gonna fucking draft flavors i'm excited to find out what everyone's interpretation of flavors was i got some weird shit on here i got some good shit
Starting point is 00:30:30 and then i got some shit i'm afraid to say of course you have nobody didn't think you were gonna have weird shit on the flavors draft motorcycle is one of your favorite flavors you'll be picking it if not listen i'm not i'm not getting mad at my fellow exhaust huffers out there. Every time I see a motorcycle now, I think about it. You make an impact, you know, a Tony impact. That's all I can do. That's all I can do. The way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Play between the two of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ah, damn it. Oh, David wins. Fuck you, dude. David wins. David, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,
Starting point is 00:31:12 it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? It's a great question. Have either one of you ever made tater tot casserole? No. Never made it? that? It's a great question. Have either one of you ever made tater tot casserole? No. Never made it? When you make tater tot casserole after you put
Starting point is 00:31:29 the cream of chicken and the corn and the green beans and the peas and the ground beef together and then you put a bunch of shredded cheese on top of that you have to line the whole top of the casserole with tater tots and to do that you want to put the casserole tray in front of you.
Starting point is 00:31:46 You start at the top left, and you go all the way to the right, and you line it with tater tots. And then you make a little tater tot U-turn. You take about three of them, you do a little tater tot U-turn, and then you go all the way from the right back to the left, and just keep lining them up. And then when you get to the left,
Starting point is 00:32:01 do another little tater tot U-turn. And then you go all the way. That tracks. Yeah, and then you go all the way to the left do another little tater tot u-turn and then uh you go all the way that tracks yeah and then you go all the way to the right and you just keep on doing that back and forth sort of like uh a serpentine or a snake type situation uh-huh tater tot you turn basically can that be a sexual position he's huh can tater tot u-turn be a sexual position tater tot u-turn it can be a position. It's when you put both your balls in it. Oh, God. Sorry, guys.
Starting point is 00:32:30 We're filming today for some reason. I don't know. I think it's because we haven't recorded in a while. We're on mental, bruv. I would pro-pimento the tater tot U-turn. That'll, you know, either that relationship's over or like you found the one or it's just beginning or it's just yeah basically what it means is you pick first in the uh or if you pick first in the first round you pick third in the second round david with that in mind and without
Starting point is 00:32:56 uh taking a diversion to talk about cream of chicken what will the order of today's draft be david sean ian there it is david sean ian hot corner this is a hot fucking corner uh beautiful so david sean ian which means david you have the first pick in today's draft which we'll get to right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially,
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Starting point is 00:40:16 your only source for the human voice david borey today we are drafting flavors and you have the first pick god God damn it. You snuck that last part in. You're only source for the human voice. That was tight. I don't want to. Don't make me do this. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:40:33 You picked. What are you doing? What are you going to do? I was so confident. You know what I want to do, but I'm not going to do it. I know what you want to do, you scumbag. Why don't you rip my dick off and do it already? I'm not a scumbag for thinking that.
Starting point is 00:40:45 I just don't want you guys to pick it later, but I don't want to pick it first either. Oh, Marissa went dark. You made Marissa go dark. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, Marissa. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not going to be the villain today. I'm not doing that. Be the villain. I'm not doing it. Don't make me do it. You know what it is.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I don't know what it is. Don't you fucking make me. Don't make me do it. You know what it is. I don't know what it is. Don't you fucking make me do it. Yes, you do. I don't know what it is. Don't make me do it. Don't make me do it. Don't make me fucking do it, Ian. You know what he's talking about.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Are you serious? I don't know. Are you serious right now? No. Why? Fuck you, Ian. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Pussy. I did it. I did it. I did it. Okay? I did know. Everybody's fucking happy. We're all fucking happy.
Starting point is 00:41:25 What are you? Nothing else tastes like that. It's very interesting. God damn it. God damn it, bro. I just want to live, man. You guys are coming here yanking my fucking dick off. About pussy.
Starting point is 00:41:42 God, fuck this, man. There's other shit in the world that i care about this is so fucked this is so fucked fuck me man i don't know i don't want to talk about it anymore oh my god sean it's sean's big you don't want to talk about what no i don't want to talk about it grand opening grand closing yeah that's it i dated everybody else listen to your heart you know that it tastes crazy and nothing like i don't think you would mind emma arnold says it tastes like beats by dre le vegetable beats le vegetable beats le vegetable beats yeah yeah starting tailback at By Dre? La Vegetable Beats. La Vegetable Beats. La Vegetable Beats, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Yeah, starting tailback at Iowa State. Yeah, he's good, man. He's good. Yeah, he's good. Some fundamental problems. He did, yeah. I mean, he works for the United Way now. He's doing really well.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Listen, everybody listening, I just want you to know that this is, I just didn't want them to be able to take it. I was not going to take it. Are you crazy? It's not one of my five favorite flavors. It's a good flavor.
Starting point is 00:42:59 I don't mind it. When I taste it, it's not usually the taste that I'm excited about. I don't really know gosh marissa's never gonna go on dark now she's gone she left she had to go even further north in canada she's like at the the tip of the Yukon territory now. I'm just saying if you have a diverse flavor palette, you appreciate lots of things. Listen, it's not that I don't appreciate it. I'm just...
Starting point is 00:43:34 Sean, were you going to take it? No, Sean, let's just get out of this. Let's just pull out. Pardon my... That wasn't a pun. I didn't mean that. Sean Jordan, your first pick. Strawberry. Strawberry.
Starting point is 00:43:48 God fucking God. Because it always tastes good. That was going to be my first pick anyway. It's a strawberry. It's my favorite. God damn it, dude. God damn it, bro god damn it bro strawberry my favorite my strawberry is my favorite flavor of everything do you like artificial strawberry stuff too i like it all uh i had some hood
Starting point is 00:44:16 strawberries the other day uh what does that mean it sounds like it sounds like i'm talking about like the bloods up north or something i'm'm not. They're from the Mount Hood area. Mount Hood. They taste like candy, dawg. Hood strawberries are insanely good. Are they the big ones or the little ones? Pretty tiny. You ever see those giant fat boy strawberries?
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yes. Those ones look like Andre the Giant's toe, and you're like, what? Yeah. These Hood strawberries, they disintegrate it's like uh it's they're crazy that they're not considered candy they're it they're it's wild dude it's nature's candy they're one of those like uh they're one of those um you know how like different places have like it's only in season for three weeks you know yeah yeah it's like it's like that thing for oregon it's like probably hood strawberries and then you have the walla walla sweets up north and to the east a little bit the
Starting point is 00:45:08 walla walla onions here's my question about strawberry i'm always curious about this about flavors is there anything strawberry flavored that you don't like not that i've encountered really what about medicine oh yeah no that's no. I didn't think about that. You're right. I don't like it. I don't like strawberry medicine. I like strawberry cough drops. Hall's has these strawberry
Starting point is 00:45:34 breeze things. I finally opened our box from one of our sponsors that included vitamins and shit in it oh yeah i got some of those and they're gummy vitamins and like i've had to stop keeping them close to the computer because i'm just like probably 12 of these a day right that's how many bad for you what do you want some right you got some iron that was what when i was mad dog in the hood
Starting point is 00:46:01 strawberries the other day i'm like at a certain point, strawberries aren't good for you. That's another term for David. That's another term for David's first pick is mad dog. We just got to let me get past it, man. I didn't want to do that. Life, that life chose me.
Starting point is 00:46:19 I didn't want to do it. I didn't want, I told you I didn't want to do it. Yeah. Strawberries. All of of every i just love a strawberry i don't want to get too into all of that because there might be other pics involved so your favorite like you like you prefer an unmitigated strawberry a strawberry that's not putting on airs or coming to the party with anyone else you just like a strawberry yeah you fuck you fuck it up with shortcake always has been yeah dude laura did it the other day when we had uh we had the hood strawberries and she made these she made biscuits and i was like i was just gonna put other stuff on it and she goes you can put
Starting point is 00:46:55 strawberries on them and it's like you know it's good and i was like oh were you gonna were you gonna wrap it up in a tortilla pretty much hot sauce pretty much pretty much maybe some american cheese she looked at me like the sleeves just fell off my shirt and my jaw was on the ground or something i'm like oh i'm just gonna do you're gonna put some buffalo wild wing stuff on that biscuit i've been saving some stuff for this occasion is fire on the mountain gonna be open ish like starting in that new reopening plan that starts like this week sean do you know i mean i've had it for takeout a couple times so they're open i'm gonna fucking mash on that man that's yeah they can have outdoor seating if they do we're gonna go get drunk there yeah we are you know it's nothing funny about that that's none of you
Starting point is 00:47:40 a transaction well we're gonna go get drunk there uh yeah strawberry all right uh time One of you can bug us. They six feet away. A transaction. Well, we're going to go get drunk there. Strawberry. Strawberry. Time for my first pick. Ooh, and with my first pick, I think I'm going to take. So, like, tell me if this is, like, out of bounds. This is tricky.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Butthole. No, I'm just joking. Come on. Let's pick the whole badussi throughout this. I'm gonna take... It's one flavor if you do it long enough. My favorite flavor in one bite is tomato sauce and noodles and ricotta.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Like cheese with mozzarella. Like a manicotti or something? Like manicotti, like lasagna, like a little melted cheese on top, sauce noodle and then like sometimes it's a manucati or whatever you know what i mean like yep i fucks with ricotta i like that dough kind of like vaguely sweet shit i like me too so good yeah like i like it that it's almost more of a texture it's it's fucking fantastic it's like it's fluffy you know when it
Starting point is 00:48:44 like gives away a little bit yeah it tastes like what clouds should taste like yeah absolutely oh that'd be tight i wish they would clouds ricotta clouds that'd be a good like cereal or something clouds ricotta clouds yeah ricotta clouds why not it wouldn't be hard to sell people on ricotta clouds maybe in the 70s it sounds like uh something a jamaican would say i don't have a good jamaican accent no no i was waiting for sean but i got that cloud yeah well i mean you gave it your no i'm still trying to think of a song to sing i want to sing but i can't sing as well as you can the louis i want to take the challenge i'm't think of a song. As well as you can?
Starting point is 00:49:26 Yeah, I want to take the challenge. I'm not being a coward. I've been thinking about it the whole time. God must have spent a little more time on you. Can this be true? Tell me, can this be real? How can I put into words what I feel? My life was complete. I thought I was whole why do i feel like i'm losing control that's all i got since you guys lit stuff but i was trying my hardest we we lit it for you
Starting point is 00:49:58 yeah that was the hardest that was as well as i can sing guarantee that was good it was soft though it was the soft so well my voice had crack i couldn't i couldn't yeah there's no way i could do like a whitney or something ricotta clouds we took a turn attorney those things together are so fucking good if they're ever on like sometimes i'll get a pizza you know you can put like a little ricotta on pizza but just like a tomato sauce i know it's bread but and not noodles but like i don't know that's just my favorite when i'm biting into that i'm like this is it they fixed they solved it they figured it out we're gonna be okay we're gonna be okay these people figured out how to
Starting point is 00:50:37 make like this fucking food together i've been watching uh the trip which is steve coogan and rob ryden uh two british comedians and there's like five movies they've made and they're so great to watch during quarantine because it's basically like they go somewhere they're like really funny scenes like where they're like eating and they're just like talking and it's hilarious and then they'll show like amazing food and then it's like tourism porn too but yeah see that's what i like it's fucking great and they went to oh tourism porn yeah like on red too you go to red tube and you look at micropolis i type in yeah i type in west texas it's just so they went to italy and some of the fucking pastas they oh anyway that's my
Starting point is 00:51:19 first pick all right all right my second pick is mayonnaise and mustard together oh look at you that shit's hot that shit's high living it's fucking i love it on my burgers yes yeah no ketchup the fuck out of my face when i was running the cheese island in sioux falls at the hyvee down there over there on 33rd minnesota back there what are you saying i was running the cheese island and we had a mayo mustard mix and it was okay sean do i have to be the one what is a cheese island uh it's so there's the meat department and then the cheese island is where uh was the meat department what'd you say it's where my family hails from the cheese islands whatever dude it's where it's where all the old ladies worked it's where all the old ladies worked and then one teenage kid and it was me and it was where you get like the sliced meat and the cheese
Starting point is 00:52:12 the deli yeah well we called it the cheese island back in the day and then hy-vee tried to church it up and they called it the new york style deli which is what i think they still call it a new york style deli wait is that the whole story yeah that's it they have to say they have to say new york style because they don't know what jewish means that's all they're saying i'm a bit of a new york style man myself yeah new york style carmel's coming over i don't't know. My lawyer, I don't know. He's New York style, though, so. I feel fairly confident.
Starting point is 00:52:52 I'll beat the case. I'll beat the case. I think I'll beat the case. He's New York style. He's New York style. I got a New York style buddy coming over. She's one of those New York style American princesses, so. Yes. and princesses so yes second oh yeah mustard and mayo it's just like it's perfect on a sandwich like it's usually my
Starting point is 00:53:20 favorite part of that sandwich you know everything like when you bite in and like and it's like kind of mixed up the sourness of the mustard and then whatever the fuck flavor mayonnaise is. I don't even know what that is. How would you describe the flavor of mayonnaise to somebody? It's tough because a lot of people... Yeah, it has to be an onomatopoeia, right? Zing would be...
Starting point is 00:53:40 Zesty? Some zip. A lot of Z words. Hum. Huh. Huh. What? Zesty Some zip A lot of Z words Like one of the three amigos When they drink tequila That's what mayonnaise tastes like Yeah, yeah, yeah The mustard is sour and tangy
Starting point is 00:54:02 So those two flavors together It's just so amazing i love it mustard and mayo put it on a blt put it on anything i'm fucking here for it sean time for your second pick orange chicken from panda express fuck i had that on my list of course you did it's been i think that's what's been on the most of our lists on these drafts whether it's been picked or not i've had that on probably 20 different lists. Oh, Goodfellas, Orange Chicken. I mean, what it like.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah, completely. Goodfellas, Orange Chicken. Whitney Houston, I feel like, has been on a lot of lists. The Mall is another one. Oh, yeah, The Mall. The Mall, yeah. Marissa came out of the darkness for a second.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Please come back. It's not going to be like that anymore. I promise. I think you want it to be like that anymore i promise you sound like you just got broken up with please come back it's not gonna be like that anymore i'm different i'm different now i learned it has been minutes i know why they call it window pain oh what are we drafting fucking earth shatteringshattering rap lyrics now? I didn't know that. The greatest art that humans have made? Sorry? The human experience? Visionaries?
Starting point is 00:55:11 Poets? Orange chicken, man. Zach Toscani, I guarantee you, he'd take that same thing. That's a man who loves some orange chicken. It's such an amazing flavor. And I just found out you can get the orange sauce or whatever from the grocery store. They have it. You can just go buy it so like panda express brand uh-huh oh what are you gonna man i put everything anywhere that's probably why i got a stomach ape if we want to split hairs i think
Starting point is 00:55:35 that's yeah because you're drizzling that on your cinnamon toast crunch yeah you're just talking oh shit i'm sorry oh you walk up to the fridge go fuck your mother hey hey bing what are you doing i thought i told you go fuck your mother good good more maynay sounds by the way uh maynay sounds dude brian wilson was gonna make that album um you're oh i was gonna make a joke about the orange chicken sauce but the time has passed i was just gonna be you standing in front of the fridge just hard chugging it dude i think about it like like that like that sunny d commercial like he moves moves i'm telling people all these options that aren't things to drink what do you got in there we got i don't know we got eggs uh orange chicken sauce i got a stapler in here. There's some frozen bread.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Staplers work better if they're cold. They don't teach you that in college. You got to learn that the hard way, man. Some school of hard knocks will teach you to keep a stapler cold. That orange chicken sauce, man. You know how I love tortillas. Roll yourself up a little tortilla. Get a ramekin full of the orange chicken sauce. Get yourself a stomach i how i love tortillas roll yourself up a little tortilla get a ramekin full of the orange chicken sauce get yourself a stomachache before you go to bed
Starting point is 00:56:49 it is it is nice you're telling people to dip tortillas in orange chicken sauce i am look at my face tell me i'm not serious dip your tears in orange chicken sauce that is good fucking wild it is good at least put some okay no don't no don't don't you dare you're right you're right you're right you're gonna put in it david with your pervert flavors huh don't do that to me don't box me in box emphasis on don't box come on man i got other shit on this list i got i got a whole list that was right whole is right you sure orange chicken man it's so good i haven't i've had to i've had to swear off uh any food you know i signed up for one of these food delivery things yeah i was going too hard on the orange chicken
Starting point is 00:57:41 and shit and then i'm like you took 45 today. You can't eat like that right now. Yeah, it's just not. I haven't. Yeah, I haven't really been getting down on it. I don't want to list any other flavors or anything, but we have started sort of a diet. And I don't know. It'll be all right. I was kicking around.
Starting point is 00:58:00 I was like, yeah, let's do it. So we haven't. We've started a couple things on it, but I think we're going we're gonna go paleo fully do a diet for a couple weeks i don't know how many tortillas are you allowed in a day i don't think i get any how many shots of hot sauce i i think that's fine because that's why my original diet when i first moved to portland i think that's why i got so into hot sauce because there's barely any calories so you can put it on stuff it doesn't really matter cool story huh i like this david time for your second and third picks as it is a serpentine draft thank you i know you guys thought i think i'm crazy but my second pick is mango
Starting point is 00:58:36 oh yeah you could have saved that for the 10th pick bud i'm picking stuff that i like sounded like how shane would have talked to me after i said that yeah you can go fuck yourself mangoes i had a mango haichu the other day it was fantastic i didn't pick hormel chili are you looking at my list yeah no i like it's my favorite fruit and i've never had anything mango flavored that was bad ever i love mango it's like it's my favorite fruit and i've never had anything mango flavored that was bad ever i love mango it's like it hurts my mouth for some reason it's one of those like i'd really like it tastes like it makes my mouth sting i don't know why like it's whatever it is about it and like i get that there's some stuff that makes my mouth itchy so i understand yeah i love the flavor i fucking love a mango oh it's so good it's just like such
Starting point is 00:59:25 a it's sweet it's like it's like a sweet of a thing that i like without being like overbearing you know it's like a smooth it's like a and it's like whenever i taste it in something i'm like like you take a taste of it and you're like oh wait is that mango can i talk some shit about a fruit i don't think anyone else is gonna take it it's kind of in the mango family or am i i think i have an idea where you're going i think yeah i might and i'm fine because i wasn't gonna take it papaya can fuck off yeah i knew that's what you were gonna say yeah i think that might be something where we're not in papaya region because you know this thing i always liked mangoes and then i went to sierraone, and I was like, oh, no, it's the best fruit there is.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Oh, it's like a different, that makes sense. Like fresh mangoes off the tree is like incredible. You guys have never had a Sioux Falls papaya before? That's true. That's what they call robbing a liquor store. Sioux Falls papaya? They've used up every other term, so that's the only one the cops don't know right now. Sioux Falls papaya, running a Sioux Falls papaya.
Starting point is 01:00:23 But yeah, mango is my next one. Beautiful pick. And your third pick peanut butter oh shit fuck yeah i didn't even think about it's the best it's the best in candy yeah i've had it in beer i've had like a peanut butter stout that i enjoy my mom used to make peanut butter soup it's just peanut butter is the it's so good it's so good on a burger It's so good. On a burger, it's really good. On a burger? I've had it on a burger, dude. Dude, you got to try it on a burger. Peanut butter, man.
Starting point is 01:00:55 It goes a long way. During this diet I've been on, one of the few things I've allowed myself is I'll keep a jar of peanut butter in the fridge, and I'll just go have a spoon of butter it's good for you that's the thing not it's not it's not bad for you a couple things one thing is way off topic okay for everybody listening ian is kind of twirling his hair which i love because it makes me feel like we're dishing like we're hanging out like we are just really like kibitzing about peanut butter this is very fun and you're not going to find a lot of these that are like not bad for you i don't think peanut butter is bad for you how about that i don't think you should just be like smashing a bunch of peanut butter no but like it's with the sex terms david
Starting point is 01:01:34 we're trying to talk about just trying to draft flavors i know i picked what i know what i picked first i'm trying to move away from that i was a different guy In small doses it's good for you right Am I insane I don't think it's good for you It's very high in protein So people who are like working out Building muscle it's a good source of protein I'm trying to get those gains bro so yeah
Starting point is 01:01:57 So it's good for me Stop by Gainesville Florida you know what I'm talking about Dude the gain train dude The gain train I was gonna My favorite rapper the gain dude I'm talking about to the game train did the game train I was gonna my favorite rapper the gain dude I'm on it okay no shame my my my trip to Europe is gonna include France Italy and a trip to gain dude Barcelona if not Ibiza if you if you just expected people to know that you were talking about spain when you said yeah i'm going to gain you know what i mean what does that mean let's go to spain i mean the south again
Starting point is 01:02:31 the south again gain portugal yeah maraco yeah man peanut butter is uh real good put it on any candy oh it's so. Then it's not so good for you. If there's a peanut butter option, I'm going to take it. Yeah, usually. Usually. I like it wrapped up in all my sweets. Candy wise. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Candy wise. Much less scary clown. Oh, no. Candy wise isn't going to bite your arm off. He's just going to hang out for a while. Candy wise is chill. He'll tickle you, and it'll be weird because you guys don't know each other like that. But if you play with him too long,
Starting point is 01:03:11 he'll chop your foot off. Yeah, he'll take it right off. Candy Wise. He's got Madden 94 and the system to play it on, so Candy Wise is fun to kick it with. Peanut butter. Sean, time for your third pick. Spicy garlic from Buffalo Wild Wings. Wow wow it's a specific one folks mad specific it yeah i didn't i can't just pick spicy that's weird so i don't think
Starting point is 01:03:37 you can yeah oh that's good spicy garlic gives me chills almost it's so good and it just it makes so i can tell a story about a one adam new roth back in the day when we first moved to portland take us for a walk we'd order wings every thursday me big torque daddy and adam would order wings and he would always call in and he would say the flavor is wrong on purpose and they would always correct him like he didn't know it wasn't so he'd i don't want to say the other flavors but he'd call in and say him and they'd be like oh do you mean this and then he'd go yeah let me get 10 uh spicy gizzle and they'd go oh do you mean spicy garlic and he's like yeah yeah darn yeah spicy garlic i
Starting point is 01:04:13 always mess that up do it and he just he's so good at selling that it's i think you can because i picked uh the noodle and the cheese one i think you can say parmesan isn't that one of them that's what he would whenever he orders uh whenever he orders from like a subway or something or he used to he would say let me get what kind of bread you want to go let me get uh let me get that parmesan oregano and they go they go do you mean parmesan oregano he's like oh yeah crap yes yes i'm sorry yeah do i sound dumb i think double darn double darn that's a fun bit dude he's got he's the best at those because he's so good at making you think that he's serious it's just i don't know i can't sell it like he can i love it when he does it but yeah spicy spicy garlic back to i'll stop
Starting point is 01:04:59 ripping adam's dick off over here spicy garlic is the way now that you live in a city with that has a fire in the mountain and it do you are you still hitting up buffalo wild wings on the regular no not really i you know i did in glendale a lot more because there's that one yeah across the street from work uh we went in there dude we went in there and got loaded one night and jamel was rolling up weed on the table inside i was gonna tell you the last time that was the last time i went to b-dubs i could so he starts doing it and i'm like hmm because it's legal but and i go i was like i don't think you can do that and he's like it's legal i go it's not legal in buffalo wild wings i don't think and uh you know he wasn't hiding it just rolling a joint and then they came around and they're like
Starting point is 01:05:38 sir could you you can't roll your weed in here and it's like and then he goes he's like oh my bad my bad and then just like put it away. And by the way, there's like 15 shot glasses around, which is like also not a Buffalo Wild Wings thing. That's an us thing. We were really going hard. Hold on. You were drinking in a Buffalo Wild Wings?
Starting point is 01:05:58 And about to smoke some weed. Heavily. Yeah. We went there right after work. Oh, God. I was thinking of a wing stop for a second okay you can drink a buffalo wild wings oh my god i was like i pictured you guys at that fucking wing stop near the pool supply store just getting hammered at their one at their one table they might have we brought our own oh god that'd be funny i had a roommate who used to bring his own tall cans to two for tuesday
Starting point is 01:06:27 at popeyes i mean were they okay with it yeah they never said anything fucking night he would drink it in there too tommy jacks for a while they just the back parking lot was it was just exactly that it was a parking lot and after like a year or so of it being that people just turned that into part of the bar so it wasn't there was no walls or anything so eventually people would just pull their cars and trucks up and sit in the parking lot with their own beer and drink it and it was crazy i'd even working there was like this is nuts you can just pull up with your own shit and just sit in the parking lot like you're tailgating nobody ever cared wait wait wait they would drive up to drink alcohol and then they would drive off
Starting point is 01:07:08 oh who are you talking to yes right there at the thomas jonathan's that's crazy still doing it my friend that's one thing when i go back home i'm like i'm like hey you know there's lifts and ubers and stuff now and they're like well yeah but what why would i do that and i'm just like hey, you know, there's Lyfts and Ubers and stuff now. And they're like, well, yeah, but why would I do that? And I'm just like, I don't know, I guess. I guess so you don't get a DUI, maybe. So you don't get like an $8,000 ticket tomorrow. But it is just me. Did I just pick?
Starting point is 01:07:35 What'd I pick? You picked spicy garlic sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings. Yep, there it is. It's time for my third and fourth picks, as it is a serpentine draft. And with my third pick, I'm going to just take a fucking good-ass motherfucking orange. Ah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:51 What brand? God, I like so many. Do you want me to specify? Well, no, I just am curious. I'm not trying to bust your balls. I just mean, which ones do you like? I like it. I don't know what's a mandarin.
Starting point is 01:08:02 Like a sumo, I really like. Is navel a brand, or is that just like a kind of orange? I think so. a i don't know it's a mandra like a sumo i really like is navel a brand or is that a kind of orange i think so i honestly don't know when i see oranges i usually just grab a grip of oranges i'll buy the i'll get sumos or cuties or whatever but like i love those little cuties man yeah i'll pop those i'd pop those things like xanax i absolutely you grab like six of them and walk over to the couch no shit i had an orange last night no joke for the first time in like i bet a decade of where i actually peeled and ate an orange i've had oranges obviously but last night i got one i cut the top and the bottom and i peeled it and i
Starting point is 01:08:37 separated and i ate the whole goddamn orange last night that's why is that why i have a stomach ache yeah maybe there's too much citrus in my tummy is that could that be happening no i think yeah i think it's the doctor it's not the soda stop i think it's the store-bought soda get off the soda tree playboy it ain't the soda all right i think the tortillas are soaking up the soda and that's the kind of soda that like changes the color of your tongue let me see your tongue the tour yep i can't the tortillas are beating in the soda to the stomach gang right now and it's just causing a ruckus that's like the soda that would make you sick as a kid when like you know what i mean like when your body is its
Starting point is 01:09:17 most efficient and everything and like yeah and you're still like i don't think this is good you could fall off a roof and be okay you know what i mean like you're like like, I don't think this is good. You could fall off a roof and be okay. You know what I mean? Like you have a kid body, but like, yeah. Yeah, man. An orange, a straight up orange. Are you taking the juice? It's so refreshing. I just like it. It's like the zest when you're opening it too.
Starting point is 01:09:35 That's great. I love the way your hands smell afterwards. It's so good. And like the, like you could, if the light's right, you can see it sort of like mist into the air as you're peeling it. yeah yeah and there's all that like the vitamin C stuff on the inside I always scrape it off with my teeth too the white pulp or whatever yeah
Starting point is 01:09:52 because it's real good for you it's like very it's very it's like it's very visceral eating an orange like it is it almost feels like you're eating meat you know what I'm saying yeah like with the texture and then like pulling it apart and like getting into the muscle. That's how you eat an orange?
Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah. All right. How do you eat an orange? I just told you in detail how I eat an orange. I cut the top and the bottom off. I peel it and I separate it and then I eat an orange. While I watch Drag Me to Hell, which is what I did last night. Found that very funny.
Starting point is 01:10:28 I watched Drag Me to Hell while eating an orange. Pretty good time. I find that very funny oh i dragged me to hell while eating an orange pretty good time i find that very funny that's pretty funny very funny ah shit oh man one of my late picks i forget you fight with the peanut butter pick you nullified it so i have to take a second to talk about it before i take my actual next pick peanut butter and pickle together has anyone had this man i've never done it but i've heard people i've heard people sing its praises i i understand how high a mountain it seems to climb i totally get that it's tall i could see it being good dill pickle and peanut butter together it's so here's your chips uh either way either way you want to slice it i've been doing spears lately but like if you want to do the chips but it has to be dill i don't know what a sweet pick i hate sweet pickles i consider sweet pickles i consider them to be a deception it's like not
Starting point is 01:11:14 canon sweet pickles aren't canon it's i don't know what it is i don't know what it is i hate it though oh they're good peanut butter pickles fucking fuck with it. Okay. Try it. So my fourth pick, I'm going to take, and this is a context-specific flavor. Okay. But. What? Okay, but I'm an asshole. Period. It's a context-specific flavor, but.
Starting point is 01:11:39 And the context is literally any time. A cold, like a real fucking ice cold cold like pilsner beer on a hot ass day really yeah because they're so light i've seen you go pretty hard on one of those which is i can tell when you're in like that mood because you'll get one and it'll be gone real quick dude they go down they go down so easy just like a nice light beer like and i don't i don't traditionally love the flavor of beer although it does grow on you as you get older but like i don't know something on a hot day one of the best experiences i've ever had consuming anything was like i got roped into helping a friend move and helped that friend move and it was like all day and it was
Starting point is 01:12:20 fucking hot as fuck out and i think i was like 18 or 19 but whoever's friend like their dad like gave us each a beer kind of thing and i remember like cracking it open and drinking a great beer oh yeah shawshank style like oh this is oh oh this is why people like beer like yeah i remember one time i was i was retarding a roof with some of my friends and we were just like you know what would make us feel better as a cold bottle of suds yeah we sat up there and just pretended like we weren't in the joint i just feel like a man feels more like a man when he's got a bottle of suds with him you know it's something that you said that you didn't get from a movie i had a beer the other day it tasted great and i never really have thought that but it's been i
Starting point is 01:13:04 haven't drank in forever and i had one and i was just like okay i get it so when people are shoveling when people don't like shovel it down their throat like it's their job and they have one sometimes that's why they think it tastes good doesn't make more top shit cold like a real cold beer is top shit oh i love it jeff cold beers jeff cold beers That's my pick. Shit. Is it me? Or do you have another one? Sian, it's time for your pick. I took an orange and a Pilsner on a hot day. Okay. Shit. He took shit.
Starting point is 01:13:36 So, okay. Walk us through it. Alright. I'm gonna... Oh, this is tough. This is tough. This is tough oh this is tough this is tough this is tough it is tough uh okay i'm gonna this is weird i don't want to be too weird all right i'm gonna pick soy sauce it's not weird i love soy sauce i think i probably could have gotten my next pick but it was gonna be on my draft so i, I love soy sauce.
Starting point is 01:14:05 I, one night, I don't know if you remember this, but I put soy sauce in some hot pockets. If you remember that, I don't want to, I don't want to say I was completely sober when I did it, but I like, I poured it,
Starting point is 01:14:18 I poured it into some, I don't know if you remember it, but I like dumped it in. I was like, this is going to be great. I'm not trying to make any bold claims here like I was sober. I'm not saying I would have done it in the morning. You put soy sauce in a Hot Pocket? Where were we?
Starting point is 01:14:35 At the crib? We were right about two feet to your left, I think. Pepperoni Hot Pocket or ham and cheese? Ham and cheese. Oh, boy. There's a lot going on there. There's a lot going on the next day too so yeah yeah man i just i just love soy sauce i love this the just you know everything that you would love about how salty it is and everything but that's but to me that's what's always not that i'm not trying to yuck your yum, my friend.
Starting point is 01:15:05 I put soy sauce on all sorts of shit. But it tastes like salt, right? That's just kind of the flavor profile. There's a little other thing to it, though. You can definitely tell the difference between that and salt. And also, it's liquid, so it's a little easier. There's an umami wind.
Starting point is 01:15:21 There's sometimes a little spicy, too. Salt isn't really spicy. Spicy? A little bit, there. Sometimes a little spicy too. Salt isn't really spicy. A little bit sometimes. Have you had spicy soy sauce? Haven't I? I don't know. Marissa, have I had spicy soy sauce? I don't think spicy soy sauce is common enough
Starting point is 01:15:38 for you to have. I don't see spicy soy sauce too often in the wild. It seems unlikely that you would have had spicy soy sauce. You may have made some spicy soy sauce. Maybe I was mixing it. You may have made some spicy soy sauce. I just like soy sauce.
Starting point is 01:15:53 I like it a lot. It's salty, savory, spicy soy sauce. Yeah, soy sauce. It's good. I like the salt. I had a whole structure here, and I just have completely gone off the rails. I'll talk about it after we're done drafting. Yeah, mine messed up when i went first
Starting point is 01:16:09 my next ones are gonna really make you guys mad soy sauce let's get to them unless there's any other any other further thoughts on soy sauce soy Soy sauce. It is what it is. So we were moving on. Since soy it is. David, time for your fourth and final picks as it is a serpentine draft. So my fourth pick, I probably make one of these once every 10 days in my home.
Starting point is 01:16:43 I'm taking a good steak. yeah i love a good like a really good like dry aged leave it out i got the skillet now so i got my whole skillet game down for it for making the steaks i love it a good steak is just so fucking phenomenal it's the best like no nothing on it just a little bit of salt and pepper and then maybe maybe put some butter in the thing in the in the skillet to baste it as yeah when you flip it you should put some soy sauce on there the next time you i'm gonna kill you it's like salt but it's spicy you see yeah i like a steak i i usually just get a hamburger i'll just get a hamburger that i can cut up instead of a steak a lot of times but i you
Starting point is 01:17:31 know i get what you're saying yeah i don't think there's not much to say it's a steak it's incredible about a year ago right now in a much different world than the one we're living in sue carmel and i were in las vegas at one of those fucking motherfucking steak places that they have in las vegas and we got like a steak one of the most amazing pieces of meat i've ever had in my life like the waiter was like flirting with her it was but like in a harmless way yeah yeah like a fun waiter way we were getting hammered on martinis and red wine and just this like the kind where like the the fat on the steak like melts into the meat and like it's just so good like so good i don't i don't like some people even like a mediocre steak i
Starting point is 01:18:10 don't like even a mediocre steak there's other things i'd rather eat good meat i don't i don't i don't really like a mid-range steak you because the mid-range then it just tastes like generic beef what's mid-range is outback mid-range or is that good yeah outback is for sure mid-range that's me yeah all right yeah but i mean you need a good steak if i'm eating a steak and outback there's probably i'm probably like i wish i would have gotten a cheeseburger in my head or something like that yeah it's just it's because it's outback yeah like but you gotta get the steak yeah you're gonna get the steak well unless you get a hamburger that you cut up like the ribeye that they have at the smokehouse come on baby oh yeah come on give it to me some steaks were made so good uh steak and then your final pick man i hate to do this
Starting point is 01:18:59 but if i'm gonna be true to flavors that i have enjoyed, I don't eat, I don't, I don't, this isn't a flavor I enjoy anymore, but when I was a kid, I really liked the flavor of copper. Oh yeah. Weird. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:14 Like sucking on pennies and stuff. Yeah. When I was a kid, I loved it. I think it was more than how weird it felt, but I know what you mean. I liked it where it was intriguing and I'm like, that is cool. Yeah. Yeah. It's's like the it's like a crazy flavor yeah it made your tongue feel
Starting point is 01:19:31 electric kind of yes yeah yeah copper so suck it on pennies man blood tastes a little bit like copper yeah it tastes a lot like copper god that is such a bummer feeling. Now I get why you shouldn't put pennies in your mouth. But back then, I was like, I'll be fine. I didn't know. This is a new ass penny. What is it, 97? I'm good. I'm sucking on this penny.
Starting point is 01:19:54 Get out of my room. Yeah, get out of here. Get out of my room. Sean, time for your final pick. Sriracha. Oh, great call. Yeah, that was coming yeah i you know you can't you can't just pick hot sauce so i kind of had to figure that the one that i've grown into the most the reason
Starting point is 01:20:13 i like that one the most is because it's the most versatile you can it's thick so you can use it for the most stuff what what's funny about that I don't understand that line of reasoning. You can use it to dip. It can be a dip. You can put it on something. That's what I mean. You can't really use a different hot sauce, like a runny one, as a dip,
Starting point is 01:20:36 where sriracha is universal. Yeah, if you use a regular one, you've got to let it soak for a little bit. Yeah, and then it's gross. You've got to put it on top of the stuff. I don't like a wet food, and a lot of hot sauce turns into a wet food. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:56 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:56 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:20:59 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:21:00 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Imagine how much money would it take for you to talk like that all day if you had to go to work and you couldn't tell anybody why. Ian, why are you talking like that? Why are you talking about this? Why are you talking about this? Why are you talking about this?
Starting point is 01:21:13 What? What are you talking about? Yeah. How much money would it take? Yeah. I think a substantial amount. Can I ever explain it no it's so funny when you think about like having money or having a little bit versus
Starting point is 01:21:33 when you're like flat broke and how different things are where like you know that how much money would it take for you to walk up and just like deck your best friend in the face you could never tell him why not a lot i'll tell you that there was a time there was a time in my life where i'm like god i don't know like meals for a week like if you gave me like dope shit to eat all week then yeah adam was gonna get his eyes dotted but yes for a couple days to be honest yeah it's just crazy to think about now i'm like well i don't know a thousand bucks i'm about to i'm about to fucking sort nick nam pay right the fuck out how much money for seriously you can never tell nam pay why you did it yeah you have to walk up and you have to punch him in the face as hard as you can you don't have to break his nose you but you have to punch him in not the face that
Starting point is 01:22:19 doesn't work let's say you have to punch him in the like the the knock the wind out of him spot as hard as you can you can never tell him why solar plexus just one of those like thick belly shots like those where those like where the guy goes oh is that yeah what time of day it all depends on the time of day yeah what time is it right okay we've i've been at the high dive with him for an hour it is 11 30 at night and you just got there. The first thing you do on a Friday night, right when you get to the high dive to have drinks, is you walk up and punch him as hard as you can in the stomach.
Starting point is 01:22:54 And then he does that thing. How much for you to do that right now? Why? To Nick, man, that's my dude. You can never tell him why. I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like $15?
Starting point is 01:23:15 Think about it. I mean, to do that, it would be because let's say in this world, you can throw money at him, but he's never going to piece together why you did it. In the real world, if you did that and you were like all right here's five grand he would get it like oh somebody gave you a bunch of money but in this world he's never gonna know why you did that why i just fucking thud them in the stomach i probably wouldn't do it for any amount of money man you can't like buy friends there's the right answer there it is uh good good on you yeah so like a pretty good friend like or like an acquaintance or just like not a lot of money honestly like yeah like malloy shit just get him where i'm at
Starting point is 01:23:51 malloy's like a pretty good friend but no see i'd be afraid i'd be afraid of that i'd say malloy's like a straight up good friend but i i would never do it because other circumstances i wouldn't keep walking around waiting for somebody to do that to him that's what he wants he'd start laughing he'd do that thing where like the bad guy sees that you drew blood and you're like oh no yeah yeah exactly sorry go ahead david i was just gonna say he tastes his bud and smiles yeah like chun li and blood sport you're like oh yeah he's like tastes like pennies you think you're like you think you're like sneak attacking but he's always been at war you know like yeah
Starting point is 01:24:25 that's the thing he's been fighting you since he met you yeah absolutely but like he just started he shaved his head you guys see that mulloy shaved his head he buzzed his head when whoa i don't know the other night on instagram no i of course you guys didn't shave his head on instagram yeah well he didn't shave it it looks like he got a flow beat he showed him cutting it with the like one line with the buzzer and then there's like a video of him after it was done and it's like quarter of an inch long or something i gotta get on social media more yeah i'd probably punch like danny for like 500 bucks oh young danny and never explain it because he's a tough he's a tough guy and like it was hilarious oh my god oh he would love it oh he'd hit me i must be part of
Starting point is 01:25:11 the group like yeah he'd say he'd say let's go sorry man can i say sorry afterwards anyway we should move on i always spent like 20 minutes talking about this yeah you can say sorry sriracha it's got fish sauce in it. You know that, Sean? Yeah, and I don't care. I don't care. I don't know about fish sauce. I love fish sauce. Tony calls it sriracha, and it's weird to me when people do that. When they call it sriracha.
Starting point is 01:25:35 What do you call it, sriracha? Sriracha. It's like the Ibiza thing where you're like, eh, maybe, but I'm not going to do that. You like settle it where people say like pho? Yeah. It's pho. I don't knowo? Yeah. It's pho. I don't know what it is. I say pho.
Starting point is 01:25:49 It's the opposite. Pho is correct. Yeah. But pho is what everyone says. Yeah, yeah. Time for my final pick. Your final pick. My final pick.
Starting point is 01:26:00 And with my final pick, I'm going to take a chip, like a nice salty tortilla chip, with some guac and some sour cream and a little bit of salsa on it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The triangle. Just a perfect fucking bite. Just like a perfect bite. It's so good. It's a little zesty.
Starting point is 01:26:18 It's a little spicy. You know? I think sour cream is underrated. I think so, too. If it wasn't called sour cream, because that name turns people off. Well, you know what you can do? You get plain Greek yogurt. Tastes the same way.
Starting point is 01:26:33 That's what I've heard. I heard that's, like, also really good. Yeah, it's better for you, too, I think. If we rebranded it, if we called it, like, Falcon Dip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, like, Rich Sauce. Yeah, Rich Sauce. Yeah, yeah. like like uh like falcon dip or yeah yeah yeah yeah you know or like uh rich sauce yeah rich sauce yeah uh uh god what would be another good name the deacon's lament what about like the deacon's lament what about like salt whip salt whip salt whip sounds great yeah salt whip i think would work yeah i like salt whip dude Dude, David Borey salt whip sauce?
Starting point is 01:27:06 Uh-huh. I think it sounds fun. Whip it. Which house are we visiting you at? You know, that's the next question. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The Poconos.
Starting point is 01:27:13 I don't even know where the Poconos are. I have no idea. Upstate? That's when you say they're upstate, and you're always right. Is it in New York? It's in New York, right? It could be upstate Maryland, upstate Montana. How about you poke your nose out of my business?
Starting point is 01:27:27 How about that? Oh, hey. Hey. Now that I think of their mountains, I think it's like a woody area in Pennsylvania, New York-y. I'm looking it up. The Poconos. Isn't there a song with something with Poconos in it, Sean? Grub Steak.
Starting point is 01:27:42 Yeah, Grub Steak. That's right. Hail Mary Mallon put out Grub Steak. It's got Poconos in it. Yep. It's in that you like? Yeah, Grub Steak. That's right. Hail Mary Mallon put out Grub Steak. It's got Poconos in it. Yep. It's in Pennsylvania, the Pocono Mountains. Nice. Yes!
Starting point is 01:27:50 So there's that. Got it. Yes! Woo! Place at the table, baby. Yes! I knew it. Fucking knew it.
Starting point is 01:28:01 Fuck you, David. I knew it. You, Marissa. You didn't believe in me. Dang. Has anyone ever said that besides you? I'm sure Marissa's gotten into altercations with people. Have you ever been in a fight?
Starting point is 01:28:16 You do not need to implicate yourself on this podcast first. I don't think I've had someone call me a bitch before and that hurt that was like the extent to it but we made amends that person was wrong he was wrong
Starting point is 01:28:36 and if you just blink twice he'll be dead too say the word say the word it looks like Sean's in the basement he's in a fucking he's in a airship circling the western hemisphere and he's in a chopper looking for his enemies so drop down here this is a loop that i've fooled all of you he's a looper we've become too predictable sean recorded this whole podcast in august of 1997 i sure did yeah back when i was a gentleman's 15 16 17 no i was 15 i was anyway i think i was 14
Starting point is 01:29:09 97 i was i was 13 bar mitzvah year i was i was about to be bar mitzvahed i was a boy you're jewish 100 bar mitzvahed and everything that's got to be the latest one that's got to be the that's got to be the latest one. That's got to be the latest one of all time. A chip with guac and salsa on it. Yummy, yummy in my tummy. And sour cream. And sour cream. And sour cream.
Starting point is 01:29:33 Absolutely. Or as we call it, salty whip. Salty whip. So that's the final pick of the flavors, all fantasy, everything. Just to recap, David. All right. First, it's got to go dark again. David Borey,
Starting point is 01:29:51 you went first. You won rock, paper, scissors and you had yourself go first. Yes, I did. I would like to point out under a perceived but absent duress. Perspective is nine-tenths of the law. Perspective is?
Starting point is 01:30:11 You can just throw anything in there. Yeah. Yeah. Attorney of boring. You want pussy, mango, peanut butter, steak, and copper.
Starting point is 01:30:26 I stand. You put all those on my plate right now. I'm a happy man. I stand by it. Sean, you went second. You took strawberry, orange chicken, spicy garlic from Buffalo Wild Wings, soy sauce, and sriracha. Yeah, there's a lot of the same on there. You're a sausage boy.
Starting point is 01:30:43 For somebody who doesn't like wet food, you had a lot of wet food that whole thing is wet even strawberries are wet yeah the whole shit was wet yeah gross wet wet i went last i took tomato sauce and noodles and cheese mustard and mayonnaise an orange a pilsner on a hot day and a chip with guac sour cream and salsa on it oh yeah we left some good stuff on the board. I like salted pineapple. Yeah, gravy. Caramel gravy. Bubble gum. Bubble gum?
Starting point is 01:31:14 Bubble gum flavor? I like a bubble gum flavored gum. Not really so much anything else, but I just love the flavor of bubble gum. It is pretty fucking good. It's like a vanilla-y sort of... I picked those cayenne paper pepper flakes from pizza hut those are good bacon ranch yeah ranch ranch on pizza grilled cheese and tomato soup together oh yeah the dip in cheddar cheese like a sharp cheddar
Starting point is 01:31:40 on a slice of apple cinnamon toast crunch mozzarella cheese mozzarella i had mountain dew on there i didn't know if that would fly or not because i don't know how much i love the flavor but i love the flavor of mountain dew why did you say i mountain dew was i don't know if it was gonna work or not like i don't know if i like it enough to stick up for it but i do love the taste of mountain dew i wouldn't bark you down on a Mountain Dew. It's less flavor. It's too thick. It's too thick for me, ironically. Mountain Dew is just heavy.
Starting point is 01:32:15 I don't like it either. Yeah, the viscosity. I'm not here for the viscosity of a Mountain Dew. What does Zach have to do with anything? I like a thin soda. You like a thin soda? What's a thin soda? I like a ginger ale. Yeah. Gross. Diet i like a thin soda you like a thin soda what's a thin soda i like a ginger ale yeah gross ginger coke is a thin soda any sodas that make me think of alcohol i can't
Starting point is 01:32:32 drink when i'm trying to not when i'm trying to quench a thirst so like it's weird so i'm drinking grape soda right now yeah it doesn't it's the only thing you haven't mixed with gin what kind of soda you want uh give me about an hour to narrow it down It's the only thing you haven't mixed with gin. What kind of soda you want? Give me about an hour to narrow it down. I don't know if there are any left. Do you guys have watermelon shasta? Dr. Thunder?
Starting point is 01:32:57 Do you have any Dr. Thunder? Do you have any savory sodas? Faygo makes chocolate soda. Of course they do. It's pretty gnarly And they have cotton candy Oh it's gross You can like feel it When you take a drink of that cotton candy soda
Starting point is 01:33:10 It feels like the soda is just boxing your teeth Faygo has 4 million flavors Yeah they got a grip man I recently read a book on ICP And Faygo's mentioned quite a bit We want to hear your favorite flavors All family for God's sake We love you Hit us up at fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com is our email
Starting point is 01:33:32 uh if you're feeling the urge to email us shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to everyone on the afe patreon once again thank you so much for holding us down shout out to everyone that's just slackety uh jabbering away on there we'll try to pop in more but last time i went in there uh people were people were well i won't get into it but somebody was rude to me somebody was rude to you i'm not i'm not even going to mention his name but somebody somebody tried to pull pull status on me oh god because this is my world And that's their world Apparently Apparently Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 01:34:07 I'm gonna beat them to death With a chair So we'll get to that I was born in Shishlakati You barely adapted to it Somebody's requested a shout out If I If I may be so bold
Starting point is 01:34:15 I think so Be bold Now it's gonna be in the creepy voice I apologize They want it in the creepy voice So it's gonna be One two three Show me this
Starting point is 01:34:22 You requested this Show me this email Right there I wanna see the receipts that's from sean s jordan it's in my note yeah uh i'd like to say hi to natalie from rob that's it they're gonna be stoked thanks they are i hope i hope they're stoked can we ban any more requests with that voice because Yes, we can, Marissa. Yes, we can.
Starting point is 01:34:48 One and done. One and done. Hashtag it. If you, Marissa, we bring it full circle and try to do it? No. I don't even want to think about it. This is how she gets into her first fight oh man I forgot what oh yeah shout out to everyone on the AFV Patreon
Starting point is 01:35:08 shout out to that voice shout out to St. Sue Carmel I love you Matt shout out to Ivan if you're listening to this one certainly not this far shout out to this polo shirt that I got and these sweatpants and I'm wearing shout out to dressing like a kindergartner
Starting point is 01:35:23 shout out to the Animal like a kindergartner well yeah shout out to the uh animal crossing slack channel on the shish slackity uh some members there helped me find some items i was looking for big time what were you looking for i was looking for like a poolside chair for my little like spa area for uh for my island i got some i got some poolside the like the big layout ones yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i got the fancy looking ones i got some of those if you want them too, if you need any more. Just let me know. I just got an inflatable pool. We can talk about it later.
Starting point is 01:35:50 I am looking for a white computer. If anyone plays Animal Crossing and they have the white desktop computer, please let me know. I have an EMAC right there that's white as the day is long. You want that? It's a white EMAC. You can have DVD drive and everything. A little inside news because of a corona
Starting point is 01:36:07 head gum is closing the LA studio oh yeah in order to remember it I am recreating it in my Animal Crossing home in my basement I'm recreating the LA studio so I need a white computer for that oh man absolutely yeah yeah do they need somebody to buy off that kombucha on tap i think it was a rental okay yeah what about the bidet same thing i bet oh but david oh yeah we could call you but david bory i don't want that i love it i love it enough for both of us so that's fine but David but David but does he but Dory no too many too many things that are
Starting point is 01:36:52 grundle dancing to that fuck yeah shout out to shout out to Frankie Oshu shout out to Sid the dude shout out to Haji Beats shout out to masks shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to masks. Shout out to fucking, shout out to marching.
Starting point is 01:37:08 Shout out to. Shout out to donating. Keep donating. Oh, to donating. Shout out to donating for sure. And keep educating. You know, there's so much stuff to be reading right now. And just take the time, you know.
Starting point is 01:37:18 Absolutely. The book Juggalo. And then after that, move on to actual important stuff. Don't be silent. Don't let this be like where we get a couple weeks of you know doing shit and then it all quiets down again be loud yeah the key is silence so you don't have to be keep reading i'm serious like keep keep everything in your mentions keep your story keep retweeting just stay on it like people need to keep seeing
Starting point is 01:37:41 it do what you can keep donating keep talking about it keep going to protests do what you're doing it hopefully is working a little bit so as long as we keep seeing it, do what you can, keep donating, keep talking about it, keep going to protests, do what you're doing. It hopefully is working a little bit. So as long as we keep doing it and stay the course, that's all we can do. So we should keep doing it. I just don't want to fucking forget about it. And then a year later,
Starting point is 01:37:55 you know what I mean? So absolutely keep on it. Everybody. Less important than all of that. Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy. Everything. Yeah. I picked pussy first. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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