All Fantasy Everything - Good Things That Have Gone On Too Long (w/ Sean O'Connor, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Holy buckets, I can't believe we've made it all the way to 300 episodes. Thank you all so much, sincerely, for rocking with us for so long. You'll never know how much it means to us. Here's a...n episode featuring with our very first guest, Sean O'Connor. Guest: Sean O'Connor @seanoconnz IG: @seanoconnz   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting things that have gone on too long. Our guest today is comedian and friend of the podcast, Sean O'Connor. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me as always are my friends and comedians Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that has done 300 episodes.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Well, we've done 299. We're doing our 300th right now. Shit's wild. Sean O'Connor, you were here on the very first episode of this podcast. That's so crazy to me. I had no idea that that was the very first episode. Because you were just such a good host. It felt like show 500. This is exactly what I wanted to hear. By 500, it's going to be hosted by an NFT AI sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:01:24 We'll be out of it completely. That's where we got to start putting our money. Yeah, we're going to teach a computer how to be us, and then we're just going to sit back while I watch Entourage again. It was you, it was Sergio Serna, it was me, and I think that was it. I think that was the group.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Yeah, look at how much this show has grown since then. Sergio became just two comedy titans named yeah jordan yeah what was it was airheads right you guys drafted airheads we drafted airheads the movies of uh brendan frazier steve buscemi and adam sandler i love that that was the very first episode which is like yeah you came out hot hold on one second i think it's barbecues here ian's getting a grill delivered i'm having a sorry i had a big green egg delivered oh hell yeah so i'm gonna be barbecuing oh is that the one you got the green egg got the big green egg oh you're gonna oh you're you're about to become the smoke guy yeah i'm the smoke guy welcome to the flavor town yeah yeah flavor town i've i've
Starting point is 00:02:27 bought some land listen can i tell you one thing about the smoke don't be afraid to smoke vegetables and things before you put them in other things like i smoked the avocados before the guacamole now oh no things like that things like that okay i have so much to learn i like i've been on like big green egg websites and smoker websites and shit like where i'm like i don't even know what i don't know yet it's like it's a fun journey though smoking is i love it i need to like pay someone's dad to come over just like a neighborhood dad i think the key to smoking is just spending like 15 hours a day doing it. It's the perfect hobby for people our age. I think it is. We just start at like 6 a.m. when you wake up the first time and then just go check on it throughout the day.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah, this is your first step to a Michelin star. Yeah. I'm getting married here pretty soon and I'm planning it. And then I can be like, have tense, snippy conversations with my wife about the smoker. If you, if you get a Michelin star out the backyard, just serving like three items, like one of those deals,
Starting point is 00:03:35 eat water village. It's already, this is already right in itself. I'm going to be smoking the heirloom tomatoes that grow right next door. We're off to the races. I'm telling you. Yeah, you got the Michelin star David over here. Oh, hello.
Starting point is 00:03:51 There it is. That was Sean Jordan. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Sean Point with the witticisms. Hey, man. I try. I'm out here.
Starting point is 00:04:02 In the 15 minutes between the episode we just recorded and the episode we were recording now you have gone back home now they started working on the floor upstairs so i had to dip out of that room and come to the spare the office sean is at his brother his brother-in-law's house last yeah o'connor he recorded in a room full of guitars and mandolins oh wow so this is a man is he a professional musician or just a hobbyist he's a professional music so laura and her brother own a production company together it's colin malloy from the decemberists is it no it's not i i actually thought it was going to be him because of the mandolins yeah uh yeah he's a musician i just want to while we're on column only he wrote a book it is the most decemberist core ass book ever i think it's a ya book and it's called the stars did wander darkling
Starting point is 00:04:56 come on man well and you're in portland right sean yep yeah so i guess when you buy a guitar you get a mandolin for free yeah pretty much man and there's an ukulele up there that's right it's an ukulele all the guitar talk aside come to fate it's september 29th i don't know who's headlining yet but come anyways all right just do it september 29th migration brewing on north williams it'll be fun uh they're always fun but that's you know other than i heard you were booking cosby no man wow good get back baby no we're not gonna we're not gonna be the ones to re-break him but when he does re-break i heard sean put is putting it all on the line and saying uh go go woke go broke no no no let's focus on the michelin star david thing that i was doing earlier all right other than that it's uh you know dates with with the two of you which i'm sure you'll mention so
Starting point is 00:05:52 yeah and you know smile and have fun it's fall let's get in there summer what am i talking about well we're getting there we're getting there right now is technically the most summer it's ever gonna be is the dog days of summer. This is the worst part, I think. But once you get hit fall, baby, oh man, it's so sweet. I love it. It took me a long time to admit that it's my favorite time. I don't need sunlight every day. On a cloudy day, I love it.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And it took me a long time to admit that I enjoy that weather. I like crispy, colder kind of weather more than sunny every day. I love being cold. I love it so much i miss the rain i miss the rain i do too i really miss it i love it i love gloomy days i don't get bummed out so i guess maybe that's i don't really get like seasonal depression or anything so i enjoy oh yeah shitty days i'm not with you guys at all let the sun shine down on me coolguygill37 on instagram yeah mile high till i die 300 days of sunshine a year
Starting point is 00:06:48 that's why adam moved there man that's why he disagrees heavily as well he's a big sunshine boy sunshine's dank don't get me wrong yeah anyways you know come see me at the Elysian September 15th September 16th come to Faded Denver we have langston kerman and then
Starting point is 00:07:07 you know other than that i'll be around look at my instagram cool guy jokes 87 we got some dates ian's got them written down i got them i'll get them i'll get them i'll get them out to the uh to the listening public here right you know in in just a few short moments but not until we talk to i'm a television writer stand-up comedian getting back into the stand-up comedy game is what i'm hearing every time i try to leave big boy i got pulled back in i think it was just because there's just fadeds in every city now i'm like yeah there's too many i gotta do faded omaha that i'm really excited for it I gotta do Faded Omaha that I'm really excited for
Starting point is 00:07:44 that's just a helium but it is a Faded Omaha I think perhaps most prominently these days is New York Mets fan Sean O'Connor at Sean O'Connor on Twitter congratulations yeah I put in the time
Starting point is 00:08:00 they've been terrible for like my whole life this is very exciting I'm waiting for them to blow up but who knows maybe they won't what if they don't blow it what if they don't he takes it off the hat's off i just need to i need to represent for a little bit but now i'm i'm getting ready to get down to it let's get into it yeah we're gonna dig in i like that we're gonna dig in i got really close to the mic on that one 300 episodes guys that is unheard of pretty crazy right i think you're the first podcast to last that long we're the last we're the first one of the only podcasts so we uh we are the only podcast so yeah we're the first to go this long um feels good without going super right wing so So that's good. That's coming at 3.01. That's 3.01.
Starting point is 00:08:46 We're going to drop some. You can either call them hints or dog whistles, whatever, this episode. They will be coming. They will be coming. And we're going hard. Let's go, Brandon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:00 And I just wanted to mention that we are going to try to do something special to officially celebrate. So once we are all back in L.A. together in a few weeks in September, we're going to try to record a video podcast as a way to celebrate the 300. So tune in or watch out for that. I'm just going to leak it, guys. We're going to shave Sean. We're shaving Sean. Like totally.
Starting point is 00:09:22 We're shaving Sean. Totally. Eyebrows. Gooch. Yeah. All of it. The whole thing. You're going to. Like, totally. We're shaving Sean. Totally. Eyebrows. Gooch. Yeah. All of it. The whole thing. You're going to be like a dolphin.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Might have to wax the chode. I don't know if I want you shaving it, but we'll get rid of the hair. I think I'd love a smooth Jordan. I want to see a smooth Sean Jordan. Come on. Oh, yeah. He's going to be smoother than the Space Jams. Pat Leather.
Starting point is 00:09:41 One time I shaved from my eyebrows down to my knees. Everything in between my eyebrows and my knees, I shaved it with a razor. And it is gnarly. How much more was that? Did she come back? Did she ever come back? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:55 No, it was a cry for help and nobody helped. I'm still crying. How much for you to go smooth? What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? No eyebrows and shit? I'm talking about head, eyebrows. You can keep
Starting point is 00:10:05 your lashes but like other than that we shaved our heads one time uh me and adam and jones we all shaved our heads with no clip if you've ever done that where it's pretty much bald i guess probably like what david's is right about now i think no that's just a one and a half that's a one jesus all right well yeah we went like short. I just had to. I can't let my barber go out like that. This is a very good one. I feel you. It'd be a lot.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Shout out to Chris. To shave my eyebrows? You right now to go smooth. You have to shave your eyebrows. Those will grow back. Yeah, I know. Are we talking about five grand? Six grand?
Starting point is 00:10:42 I'm thinking Sean's going lower here. I got to run it. I got to run it by Laura. Are we talking about two grand? A couple Gunther Tooties gift certificates? Yeah. A couple twisted T's in a Saturday. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:10:54 I don't know, 10 grand probably? Shave my eyebrows is a buck one. 10 grand to shave your eyebrows? How much for you to shave your eyebrows, Mr. Eyebrows? I'm on TV, baby. I can't shave these eyebrows i do it for five racks tomorrow yeah really i don't know go back what i don't give a shit i've never shaved my eyebrows i'll draw them on like a latina guidance counselor that would be the fun part
Starting point is 00:11:18 about shaving your eyebrows yeah it feels like they wouldn't go back i'd be scared yeah just upset villain eyebrows yeah uh yeah i mean shit if the money was in front of me it feels like they wouldn't go back i'd be scared yeah just upset villain eyebrows yeah uh yeah i mean shit if the money was in front of me it's like that whole thing like if someone's actually showing it to you ready to give it to you then it's probably less but in theory we'll say 10 racks i mean i'm gonna have an attache case with 200 and some clippers in it and delivered to your house 200 bucks do i gotta shave my head too yeah everything, everything. How far down? Like my legs and arm hair? Just visible. Really the top of the head is really what I'm worried about here.
Starting point is 00:11:50 That's what would be funny. I've always wanted to bick it. The farthest down I ever went was no extension and it was pretty much like you're bald. Pretty much. I bicked my head when I was like 13. I bet you did. You fucking rocker too.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Is this like a Fab Five thing or something? Oh, yeah. No, I mean, who knows what it was? Pants on your jeans. My hair was really long. I was going to pick it. And as soon as it grew back to like M&M length, I put sun in it. And like, I think that's the problem with being 13 in 1998 is like you do embarrassing shit.
Starting point is 00:12:26 It was such a hard time to be that age not fun people always talk about the like 9-11 and two recessions it was really more being like 13 in the late 90s it really was honestly that was worse than 9-11 i think it's like being around for new metal now we're getting to the right wing. You show me how a plane cuts steel at a 90 degree angle like that. You just show me real quick. Is that right wing?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Isn't it? Episode 301. We're dropping hands all over this app. It's not even a bird. That's the thing. That's our angle. Right wing, left wing. It's not even a bird, dude. It's a squid. Watch our angle right wing left ring it's not even a bird dude it's a squid watch the video the explosion starts at the bottom
Starting point is 00:13:09 i'm just saying i'm just saying you know the plane flew into the bottom of the building i don't think so sean o'connor do you have any uh work you want to you know you can watch uh you can watch solar opposites on hulu uh three seasons up there now and fourth season coming out soon. But that's it. Like that. And like, yeah, just the work that I've been doing with, you know, the 9-11 coalition. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Trying to open up America's mind's eye. I got you. Yeah, exactly. Listen, yeah. Jet fuel can't melt steel. No. We know that. No.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Has anyone looked at that? We know that. What if it can and we're just all saying that? You know, you know, so that. No. Has anyone looked at that? What if it can? And we're just all saying that, you know, you know, so that is actually I actually talked to somebody. I had a boss once whose uncle was the chief contractor on the World Trade Center in the 70s. Oh, yeah. And so, yes, jet fuel cannot melt steel. That is a fact however uh it was built in new york in the 1970s that they did not build anything to code
Starting point is 00:14:07 because the mafia was siphoning so much money from it that the specs that are out there do not exist it was just cheaply made and that is why it collapsed is what he said you're who i got that fact from because i've passed out none of it is my own i'm like i can't remember who told me this but yeah uh big shout out to mike gibbons gibbons yeah that's right yeah gibbons yeah dude gibbons yeah because he's in the mom watch the law offices my name is ian carmel and ian carmel on twitter and ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on Jewish. None of us were in the building that day. I don't know. Did we get an email? It's not looking too far. Oh, we, all fantasy, everything.
Starting point is 00:14:56 We will be in Washington, D.C. September 30th, October 1st, October 2nd. The live AFV is already sold out, but you can catch us doing stand-up comedy. We're good at stand-up comedy. Well, David's good at it. And then Sean's... Mid-range. And then Sean's good at it.
Starting point is 00:15:11 And I'm not very good at it. Yeah, but I have a lot of fun, though. Sean has fun on stage. David's good at it. And I'm loud. Yeah. I am loud. Yeah. That about covers it. Tickets still available.
Starting point is 00:15:27 We're doing two shows a night. Also, we'll be hanging out after the shows, talking to people, chilling. Come see it. We'll be in Minneapolis the next weekend, October 7th, 8th, 9th, whatever those dates are. Something like that. Something like that. At the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival. Tickets still available for the live AFV and for us to do
Starting point is 00:15:46 stand-up comedy that is the only Midwest date on the books right now so if you're in that area we're going to try to hit other cities in 2022 2023 rather but if you're in the Midwest you want to come see us that's where to see us right now
Starting point is 00:16:02 also it's just a really fun festival. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Listen to All Fantasy Everything. That's it. I can't believe we've done 300 episodes of this. That's a lot. You've done.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I've done. No, I've done like two something. I've probably done like 297. You've been on. Oh, I forget that there are ones without you. There were a couple when i was in france yeah that's like three okay yeah wow yeah so no one has been here for all 300 no no that's crazy going up until like probably when we when did you join us marissa i think he was around episode 22. Yeah. Wow. Before that, we were produced by Rick Rubin.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Yeah. Podcasting's other bad boy. Yeah, we hopped on right around like the, was it the mall or Taco Bell? Which I forget which one was, that was the, like the one where we all,
Starting point is 00:17:04 the first one we all did together was the mall the mall cologne it was wild man i couldn't have been living more of a go to the mall life than i was at that point i mean even more than like high school probably it's going to the mall no day job you mean yeah just broke though broke no day job like just somewhere to go you know going into the gu Gucci store. So we were right by the, the Americana and the Galleria. So it's like prime mall going. You have both types of malls,
Starting point is 00:17:32 the good mall and the mall. That seems like it's going out of business at any time. Yeah. Well, you guys were also by that really crappy ball. California is a fucking mall town, right? It is a mall town.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Yeah. And honestly, the mall rules. i think i go to the mall now more than i ever went before my entire life i love it growing up in high school i was like 30 minutes from the closest mall so i like if we went to the mall it was a day trip dude i go to the mall i walk i just take max to the mall and walk her around like it's a park i go to the mall all the time i live right by the clackamas town center i love it i love the fucking mall i've never been to clackamas town center is that a good mall yeah dude it's one of
Starting point is 00:18:14 the only it's still got a dope ass movie theater it's got like a dope food court still have department stores it's like a true mall still it's got a fucking does it have a charlie's philly cheesesteaks yeah well it's got a cheesesteak spot i'm sure that's it it's got a true mall still. Does it have a Charlie's Philly cheesesteaks? Yeah, well, it's got a cheesesteak spot. I'm sure that's it. It's got a Pan Express. Does it have an Ivar's Seafood? No. It's a regional fast food.
Starting point is 00:18:34 It's got all the dank. It's got a carousel in there. All the textbook shit. Nordstrom's? Got a Nordstrom's. Got a Macy's. Got a Barnes and Nizzles. It's got an outdoor part where it's got noodles and company, a mod pizza. It's got a barnes and nizzles it's got like an outdoor part where it's got like noodles and
Starting point is 00:18:45 company uh a mod pizza it's got an rei it's got a dave and buster oh an rei all right listen you passed the test it's a good mall it's got escalators bro i'm out there i'll tell you what i'm none too fond of is when a mcdonald's works its way into a mall food court yeah i don't i don't need it it's almost not it's not for you it's not for me i'm here to get my cajun bourbon chicken thank you i can get a mcdonald's you're too big for this there's a real mcdonald's two blocks away you the food court is specific to like these weird brands that have 20 like they just have 20 locations and the ceo has no idea how they're doing no idea no idea i'm here to get an orange julius yeah yes
Starting point is 00:19:27 dickie's barbecue or whatever that those kinds of things where you're like hell yeah only at the mall food court places should be like barnacles they can only live on a whale you know what i mean like it should be like they can only exist here i don't want to need that that symbiotic relationship yeah i don't want to see like a grouper hanging onto a whale get out of here you can you can live on your own i've never seen a brick and mortar a brick and mortar nori japan you know those are like at the food court you never see one like just existing on its own that is true you're never driving down the street and you're like oh there's a hot dog on a stick right here they exclusively exist in like 10 feet yeah because'm a 10 foot i want to be able to see
Starting point is 00:20:06 a hot topic while i'm eating absolutely that hot dog on a stick you know maybe even go into the hot topic they don't give a shit they don't give a shit at the hot topic no they'll let you go in no i'm saying if i go in with a hot dog on a stick like with my food they're gonna be all right yeah yeah they don't care the door guy at hot topic has gotten kind of lax in recent years yeah he's letting everyone yeah yeah don't get the hot talk anyone you know the white belts but he's like six months away from pension he doesn't need this shit they're gonna pay him five novelty size condoms a month and he's gonna sit on his ass live inside those hell yeah we uh marissa how are how are you marissa we only ever talk to live inside those. Hell yeah. Marissa, how are you? Marissa, we only ever talk to you at the end of the episode.
Starting point is 00:20:47 How are you doing? I'm good. I'm excited to come to LA, see all you guys. I'm really excited for this new HeadGum video studio. It's really bright. It's really nice. Yeah, I'm excited to be on. Well, I mean, I'm not sure if I'll be on camera.
Starting point is 00:21:02 I'll pop in on camera and say hi. Of course you will. Yeah, i'm very excited for this video episode so everyone look out for it it'll probably come out maybe like a week after this episode i'm gonna wear my suit what do you think about that oh you guys should all do tuxedos we should probably wear tuxedos for it at least tuxedo t-shirts i'll wear a bow tie we're gathered here today not only to talk about bow ties though we are but also in honor of our 300th episode of all fantasy everything we are
Starting point is 00:21:31 drafting good things that have gone on for too long you get that you get why we're doing it a little fun we're having a little fun now does it have to can they can it be something that went on for too long or does it have gone on too long. It can be presently going on too long. Gotcha. Either or. What about I just have good things that tend to go on too long? That's also, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I think this is like wide open. What if it's something that's going on brand new, but I'm like, it's probably going to go on too long. I feel like that's not fair. I mean, get in there. We can absolutely devastate him for trying to make those picks. I was kidding. And to be clear, they have to be
Starting point is 00:22:13 good things that go on too long? Good things that have gone on too long or went on too long or are going on too long. Oh. Well, okay. All right. You're changing your list right now. I see you. i have to i didn't know the good part right back in the war room right now i'll figure it out i hope so what i mean like for something to go on for
Starting point is 00:22:51 so i have things that are currently going on no i didn't pick anything but i can knowing that we can pick things that have that did go on too long but are now done that'll that'll i think so for something to go on for too long it has to be good right at some point it's inherent in the form i feel like right except unless it's like you know covid it's never been good although i think like in a way you could argue that oh you oh you believe in covid oh yeah it's hard to hear you through your mask sean i can't this is the last time i can say this on this podcast. COVID is real. I love Dr. Fauci. Marissa, put a bunch of air horns over everything Sean just said. Absolutely big ones.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Toot toot. Can it be things that aren't great but that aren't bad? Can they just be things that maybe we think have gone on too long? Good things that have gone on for too long. That was like the main part of the thing. I believe it was in the text message. Because the whole joke is that it, because we're doing it on, and we're good.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Don't yell at me. All right. I'll figure it out. What was an example? What was an example? I think Austin is the example. This was the joke. The show. Yeah, that's the whole joke.
Starting point is 00:23:58 That I didn't get. I'm sorry I didn't get it. No, but what was an example that you were planning for? Oh, yeah. What's something you can't pick now? Signatures. Those are good? Signatures are good?
Starting point is 00:24:13 You went on too long. That could have been a pick. I'm sick of them. I'm sick of them. Let me do it digitally. I don't need to sign my fucking name. Great. I'm picking it.
Starting point is 00:24:20 If I can pick it, I'm picking it. No, you can't pick it. You already said it. Come on. Get in the spirit of all fantasy everything. I know you haven't done 300, but you've done 260. Come on. Okay, but we can all agree signatures are played, right?
Starting point is 00:24:36 We're done with them. Oh, if I had the option to do it on my phone, like a Sign Now app, I'm taking it 100% of the time. No one's ever looked and been like, that's not Sean that wrote the name. my signature looks like a blind person did it i do like signing shit i do too it's fun contracts and shit i do like that like give me my motherfucking money oh when you also get that tab that's like sign here i'm like oh hell yeah when we When we were, when we were signing the mortgage,
Starting point is 00:25:06 I almost, I was like, seriously, I was going through it as fast as I could. Cause I felt like somebody was going to come in and be like, Whoa, not him, not him,
Starting point is 00:25:13 not that guy. Don't let him have a house. So yeah. Papers take a long time to sign. There's like, it's like a phone book anyway. So, well,
Starting point is 00:25:20 I'm glad that we can all agree. We're done with signatures. Yeah. Okay. Well, phone books, phone books. I think that was good
Starting point is 00:25:25 guys guys guys we're falling apart what are strong guys this is again the last episode of all fantasy everything if we get rid of phone books what are buff dudes gonna tear in half yeah how will I be inspired to not do drugs
Starting point is 00:25:44 they're gonna tear apart they're gonna tear apart cowards dude in half. How will I be inspired to not do drugs? They're going to tear apart cowards, dude. I'm going to go rip a coward in half because my girlfriend won't blow me anymore. I used to concentrate on my comic book on meth. Now I concentrate on ripping phone books in half for teens. The way we determine the order of the
Starting point is 00:26:04 draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw and shoot rock paper scissors shoot David another true victory a natural a rock against two scissors David as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft
Starting point is 00:26:20 but before you do that I will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that? that's a great question it's of like uh just like how a snake kind of slithers just like you know back and forth just like a snake slithering back and forth which i'm pretty sure was the very first time i said serpentine draft explained it that was the very first one i use because that's what it is so Basically what it means is if you pick... Ian goes, You let out a tiny little
Starting point is 00:26:50 Basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Joe Biden stole the election. You know what we should do while we're in D.C. is we should go wake him up and have a lower the gas prices now that i think about it absolutely absolutely let's do that before our
Starting point is 00:27:10 first show we're gonna we're gonna even if they've continued to gotten lower so you guys have seven shows in dc we're doing four stand-up shows in one live all fantasy everything and then one just one reality tour yeah yeah and then like you guys are going to like you know free some children out of comet ping pong yeah yeah absolutely we're gonna be if there's a basement we're gonna be in it these are 301 topics stick to 300 our live our guest at the live afp will be mitch mcconnell uh the logo if we just change the logo at midnight after this to just like an american flag punisher mask just like all fantasy everything and just x'd out and it just says the 301 come get some
Starting point is 00:27:57 the real fantasy is is the idea of a voting machine, but we'll get into that next episode. David, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? David, Sean, Sean, Ian, and you pick. David, Sean, Sean, Ian. Yeah. Signatures. I'm not even going to say which one right now.
Starting point is 00:28:21 I don't even know. I didn't even think about that. I kind of am going to leave it to you guys, and I think you'll know who's picking this. Oh man. I think we're about to find out who's a beta. I think we might find out who's a Kata at this point. We got an alpha between us.
Starting point is 00:28:39 We're going to get to, we're going to get to the alpha pick, which is David's right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy genius. Essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Policy Genius essentially just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything. But it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea
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Starting point is 00:31:10 easy with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except, of course for joe rogan's uh they're homeless because they want to be why do they have cell phones you explain it to me two there's empty shelter beds what's going on with that those are the two podcasts make sure you listen to both of them uh david boy it is time for your pick in the good things that have gone on too long all fantasy everything draft listen there's a lot of things i could have taken there's a lot
Starting point is 00:31:55 of things that came to mind but i had to keep it real to my self in my life and how i live on a day-to-day basis and i'm picking sour cream okay i always get it for tacos or some shit and i get the big thing and i'm like i can do anything i can make desserts i can do blah blah blah three weeks later it's a fucking nuisance in the back of my fridge taunting me when are you gonna have a fiesta night david? When are you going to have some people over? There's some leftover Don Julio I would pair greatly with. It's like it always starts out as such a good time. The first sour cream meal is always amazing. And then it just fucking sits.
Starting point is 00:32:35 How about this? If you want us to like bake with it or put it in other shit that's not tacos and nachos, don't call it sour cream. Yeah. Also, guys, craft, whoever makes it makes it i'm begging you give me a reasonable size container smaller portions that will save sour cream for everyone they're in tubs the tub it's insane like cool whip cool whip deserves to be in a tub because i can eat a tub of cool whip yes and it's gonna last forever you throw it in the freezer man cool whips cool never going out of style it's denim baby yeah yeah it's 501 jeans and jordan one
Starting point is 00:33:13 i don't even know that the taco place down the street is going through those big fucking tubs costco's got a lot of nerve who the fuck do you think is out here fun fact no one has ever finished sour cream ever no no that's true that's true yeah if you go to any dump it is just all sour cream sour cream yeah it's that's all it is the pacific garbage patch is mostly sea turtles like i can use this like greek yogurt you're sure i can't help but notice the word sour in the title you're positive sour cream that is a 1950s cookbook ass it is damn sour cream first thing that you need it for always hits it's great all whatever it is that first thing you use it for is always amazing a fucking like a like a not like a nach nacho, like an oven nacho, too?
Starting point is 00:34:08 Yeah, or some of those weird waffles or some shit. Like, who knows? But yeah, it just always starts out so good, and it just goes for too long. Is sour cream ever dessert-y? They would love for you to believe that it is. They pretend you can mix it with a chocolate pudding, but that is not the case. They're always like, sprinkle some crushed up Oreos on it.
Starting point is 00:34:30 And you're like, sour cream? That sounds so fucking gross. Yeah. Just call it something else, man. I call it party fucking juice. I don't know. You can call it whatever the fuck you want to call it. It's still
Starting point is 00:34:45 gonna stay in my fridge yeah too goddamn long also is a lot of this because i go on the road yeah well yeah it's hard for me to buy things you you caught me you feel if you feel big and tough it happens in everybody's fridge we're not i would i dana and i stay in la We're not going through a sour cream like that. And she bakes. Yeah. That's the thing. It doesn't pair well with enough.
Starting point is 00:35:11 No. Like, if you're selling something in that, like, a huge tub, it has to pair with a bunch of stuff. And it doesn't. Like, a butter works. That's why I'm a butter boy. I am not a sour cream dude. Am I?
Starting point is 00:35:27 So I'm going first then that is definitely my admission that i'm going third look at this 29 sour cream desserts we can't stop craving i'm sweating this is tight you can use it to bake i will say okay i can't dana's baked with it it's good in a coffee cake oh red velvet whoopie pies okay whoa careful that's how sean got the first one yeah i was gonna say we can barely handle that one uh sour cream cream. Excellent first pick. Sean? You want to RPS it or what? Yeah, let's do it. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.
Starting point is 00:36:11 We're both always going to be scissors. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, yeah. What's the new one? All right. We have to pick a number. Marissa, pick a number between one and ten in your head and whoever's closest. Okay. Got it. Sean? Six. Four. Oh, O'Connor wins. He was eight. Oh, I wanted it to be five. I was hoping it was going to be five. I really wanted it to be five.
Starting point is 00:36:41 My first pick is definitely every concert after you turn 30. Oh, God. Fucking. You are so, man. Yeah. That is perfect. Put it on my tombstone.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Holy shit. One of my favorite bands of all time, Pavement. They just reunited. I went to see them at the Fonda Theater. It was incredible. They played for an hour and i was like this was the best concert i've ever been to and then they played for another hour and a half that is just too much like i saw back yawning i the entire time i'm at a concert i'm thinking about when is this gonna end no play the hit the second i get there yeah i'm like these dudes are in their fucking 50s like just go back and jerk off in the hotel room you don't have your kids here it's perfect
Starting point is 00:37:39 the problem is too that i'm old so i got there early now yes yeah yeah that's the other thing i don't want to be there while everybody's coming in so let me get to my seats early dana and i are going to see father john misty at the hollywood forever cemetery tonight we love that artist it's a great place to see a concert she wants she's 29 she wants to get there he'll go on stage at eight she wants to get there at five because the gates open at six. And I'm just like, should I, should I, should I say I feel sick? You don't know. Like, how do I get out of this now?
Starting point is 00:38:20 It's, it's fucking insane. Oh, that sour cream dessert didn't sit so well in your stomach. this now it's it's fucking insane oh that sour cream dessert didn't sit so well in your stomach no it's it's it's so and then like i'm also at the age now where i i'm never on the floor with like other people i'm just in a seat which i absolutely you know i enjoy and like the times where i'm at a concert where that's not happening I'm all of a sudden just begging for the show to end if there's a mosh pit because I'm still going to punk shows and stuff. If I have to
Starting point is 00:38:52 tear my ACL as an almost 40-year-old because I like the band Pup, I'm fucked. Shout out to Pup, though. Shout out to Pup. They listen. Yeah. They all get together.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Sit around a speaker like an old Victrola. We send them the podcast on vinyl. That's so Canadian. Yeah, dude. Concerts after your... I just don't... It could be the Beatles opening for the Beatles again. And I'd like...
Starting point is 00:39:24 Oh my god. Yeah, we had tickets to see Paul McCartney at SoFi Stadium. the Beatles opening for the Beatles again and I'd like give me that hour oh my god yeah we had tickets to see Paul McCartney at SoFi Stadium and I looked up the set list and it was two and a half hours and we were like I don't know if it's worth driving an hour and a half so we just sold them on step up which is probably the last
Starting point is 00:39:40 chance I'll ever get to see this guy I'm like it's not really worth it what did you do that night instead too nothing better no i got i got like drunk at the red lion listen to some wings yeah we listen we put wings on in the uber it was perfect dana i thought dana was uh not home not home because she told me she was going to go to stories and write and now
Starting point is 00:40:07 she heard me talk about the Father John Misty concert you're hearing the effects she texted me I just want to say I was doing that for comedic emphasis I also want to be there for the whole time busted I love you
Starting point is 00:40:22 oh man being married seems difficult. I'm married yet. Although when this comes out, we might be married. No? No. No, not quite. Not yet. I thought your wedding was next week for like the last three weeks.
Starting point is 00:40:37 No. Two weeks. I've got to get my suit clean. I still got to get my ticket. You haven't bought your ticket yet? I haven't bought my plane ticket either. Don't yell at me. I got my return flight flight i just don't have my go in there play wild wild you bought a return flight first that's laura's laura and i are returning together and
Starting point is 00:40:53 she is much more responsible so we got our return flight she's got her whole shit taken care of and i'm on the return flight with her so that's how that happened your ass thing yeah it is I mean that is part of marriage I guess is you're married right yeah she's like we gotta go back on the same flight in my mind I'm like I don't see why but okay you know but so we bought we got the same flight I'm a big time flying with my wife
Starting point is 00:41:17 like I don't like going separately because if we go down I wanted us to go down as a family I don't want us to isn't that the opposite of what people say you're supposed to do with that? You like the president. You want the president and the vice president together. It's all or nothing.
Starting point is 00:41:33 I'm not doing this alone. You can't have a life after me. Everybody's on Air Force One. Marry some guy who owns a pottery studio and a little ponytail. Yeah, there's no designated survivor in marriage no well and if there's an afterlife i don't want to be checking that out you know what i mean that's so funny i want to watch her search for a new lover matter of fact
Starting point is 00:41:55 call my parents they're on the same flight just come on everyone in the room on the same flight get married on the plane that's so funny excellent pick concerts after you're 30 fantastic jordan time for your next bit your first pick uh the jurassic park movies stop making oh the franchise yeah you're killing me you're killing me seriously just stop the first one was groundbreaking and so good and i don't say groundbreaking you guys know me pretty well i've never i don't know that i've ever heard you say ground i don't just throw the word groundbreaking i didn't know you thought the word groundbreaking i don't know you would just have some sort of like skateboarder way of saying groundbreaking
Starting point is 00:42:38 is rail grinding i'll tell you what i don't think is groundbreaking jurassic park world dominion okay get that garbage out of my fucking eyes i took my five-year-old to see that movie and he wanted to leave and he's like he's at a point where any story is cool to him and it's got live dinosaurs like you know who's it for then like because it's not for us either because i walked out of jurassic world and i love the second one the second one i love an action-packed groundbreaking blockbuster you know me that's and if if i'm not trying to see that shit did you say you love an action-packed groundbreaking blockbuster i sure do you sound like the back of
Starting point is 00:43:19 the video what's that look independent you sound like a review for the pest id4 bad boys 2 these are action-packed groundbreaking blockbusters that i love bad boys to break i mean mental ground man they were throwing cadavers out of the back i don't think a sequel could be groundbreaking don't get me wrong i think it was ground standing yeah no they no they broke new ground trust me you got it you had to be there i guess i was on set for most of it but yeah man uh get the jurassic park just stop man you should have stopped on two i'll allow three as long as it's not coming in the vip with me but after that
Starting point is 00:44:01 i don't need any of them you're so right the first movie is one of the best movies ever made it has so many countless quotes and it's like we were also the perfect age for it jeff goldblum turned into jeff goldblum in that movie you know that's where he turned into like uh the last one doesn't even have a fucking dinosaur villain the villain is fucking big bugs why is the jurassic park movie about big bugs no i don't know i don't know man but uh to me is you have chris pratt who is like if you if we go back to like 2000 movie star for sure 12 or whatever and you're like chris pratt is in a jurassic world movie you're like fuck yeah great fantastic finally finally but they put him in it and he's like whatever the year was where like the internet still liked it but like yeah i still like him but whatever you're the internet but like uh it like they completely
Starting point is 00:44:50 strip this character of any charisma of any he's just like a weird boring you know this guy should be kurt he should be kurt russell or he should you know like he shouldn't be fucking i don't even know who he is like uh richard gear is like the way it's just fucking weird he's played like a straight white action hero and that's not what chris pratt is chris pratt was funny like he had comedy chops and that's the thing muscles aren't funny and it's if you have muscles long enough like yeah they're gonna get you've lost it all yeah yeah muscles really get take it out of you man um but yeah jurassic park just stop stop with them stop doing it it's amazing perfect yeah thanks bro perfect signatures also but uh
Starting point is 00:45:37 i like signatures signatures used to be now they got buff and it's like everyone's right and their signature signatures all big and they're not funny anymore. Do you still practice your signature? I still do it. If I'm doodling, I'm scribbling around. Yeah, it's the same signature it's always been. Yeah, as soon as I saw how Michael Jordan signed his name,
Starting point is 00:45:58 I was like, I'm going to have a signature that is my version of that. You just sign Michael Jordan all the time? Yeah. Yeah, look on eBay. You'll see some of my work sean o'connor signed a basketball but also scotty pippen signed it time for my first pick uh it's a good thing that's gone on too long i'm going to take england It's a good thing that's gone on too long. I'm going to take England.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Oh, shit. Damn. He did it. Spoon feed him into the 301. I get it. I'm just saying. I'm just. No, that's not even.
Starting point is 00:46:32 That's not a hard right take. I'm just like. Where it's like utilitarian get thrown out. It's not a hard wrong take. It's not a hard wrong take. That's right. You were fantastic. You know what I mean? Like you.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Like castles. Great. Love them. William Shakespeare. Say no more. You know what I mean? you like castles great love them william shakespeare say no more you know what i mean like it's it's great fucking mass colonization well no you know like that's why i'm sometimes it's gone on maybe a little too long you beat the nazis you you helped beat the nazis you know what i mean like yep good shit okay like let somebody else figure out how to make a good breakfast for once right yeah
Starting point is 00:47:05 but what have you what have you done for me lately haven't we haven't we seen enough england i just yeah i i think listen i think every country gets 500 years of yeah of of great innovations they're well past that at this point. You did it! I don't need to see your next big thing. I don't need to see an awkward comedian doing cringe stuff. That's what you guys did? It was perfect. You had the 90s.
Starting point is 00:47:37 I mean, from the Magna Carta in 1215 to Monty Python, fantastic work. What a run! What a run! But at this point it's kind of like a new rolling stones album i don't really need to hear it not to say other picks i just don't need to hear it anymore is anyone gonna throw the stones out there it was on my list uh yeah i'm just kind of you know and shout out to james corden i you know i i love and respect
Starting point is 00:48:09 him it's just like one of the good ones more of the good ones i'm just like you know and like hey i was in london this summer i loved it i had a great time i'm not saying we get rid of london or the rest of the country or the rest of the country i'm not saying i think all the people who live there i just think it shouldn't be england anymore liverpool doesn't sound great liverpool yeah manchester shout out to you you know tooting what all those all those british cities but you're right what have they done for us lately i mean in the 80s they gave us a lot of ecstasy and like that rocked like you guys killed it then the 90s you had like uh you know uh i don't know what you guys did in the 90s
Starting point is 00:48:51 yeah that was great for days now we gotta do it now i gotta deal with ricky gervais stand-up specials no yeah come on yeah all right it's funny that a lot of british celebrities perfectly sync up with this topic it's good but went on for too long uh so england is my first pick and my next pick is gonna to be aioli. Oh. All right. I'm living for this right now. I'm living for this. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Maybe we'll just give it back to mayonnaise for a while here. All right? Maybe we'll just let it be fucking mayonnaise. We don't need to sell mayonnaise back to America anymore. Everywhere you go, it's an aioli on something. And I don't care if there's differences between mayonnaise and aioli. Not to me, there isn't isn't let it be fucking mayonnaise put stuff in the mayonnaise but have some fucking guts and call it garlic mayonnaise all right yeah call it a chipotle mayonnaise exactly yeah afraid of we're afraid of what we were afraid of our own creation i don't know i don't think we
Starting point is 00:50:00 i don't think we invented mayonnaise i don't know i imagine it was a friend yeah whatever yeah it feels American mayonnaise feels American even though it is probably French aioli what is that Italian fuck off it's mayonnaise you know what they eat in Italy probably mayonnaise I imagine I don't know I don't think they call it aioli over there
Starting point is 00:50:19 all I'm saying is it had a run I get it it was cute but we're still calling it aioli I get it I'm saying is it had a run. I get it. It was cute. But we're still calling it aioli. I get it. I'm for it. We got to do.
Starting point is 00:50:30 We're lying to ourselves. I'm for it. I'm for it. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm living for this because sour cream and aioli and mayonnaise, all things i hate with all my heart and like i get into lots of fights about mayonnaise and aioli about how they do make you know dry sandwiches wet i don't like a wet sandwich i don't need a white wet sandwich i'm fucking boring that's too much
Starting point is 00:50:57 razzmatazz for my turkey sandwiches wow really yeah i'm i'm i'm i I have some trauma or something. Yeah. I was just talking to my homie, Mel. We were just talking. I love wet food in general. I do, too. Yeah, I'm a big wet man. I like all wet food.
Starting point is 00:51:14 I love wet food, but it has to be like a curry or like a tikka masala or something. I need to be able to shovel it in my mouth. What about like a sandwich like a roast beef like an au jus french i'm okay with all you i'm very specifically white condiments how do you feel about the jus the jus i love the jus it has a great factory callback episode callback oh yeah you've been on the last episode the jus back episode call back oh yeah you were on the last episode the shoes i'm not throwing mayonnaise under the bus i'm saying i'm saying aioli is just putting on airs
Starting point is 00:51:58 it is it is it's it's fencing up something that like everyone has in the refrigerator you don't need it was already french brothers you know what let's let brothers that's the that's the call forward to 301 but uh i just love that it's 301 uh aioli sean jordan also listen i just want to make this very clear if you bring me some food and it has some aioli on it I'm going to eat it it's fine I'm going to eat it I'll dip some fries in it bring me a Jurassic Park DVD I'm not worried about it getting any of this for free
Starting point is 00:52:34 I'm just saying I'm done with it taking the shoes off at the airport man done with it there you go now he's speaking truth to power little intro to 301 you know what else i don't like about the airport what not being able to bring my gun 301 what if we get hijacked by sky pirates yeah all i'm saying is if i was on that plane
Starting point is 00:52:58 that wouldn't have happened that's right if sleepy joe wants my shoes off he can come take them off you know what i mean wake up you'd have to at least you'd have to be awake to do it and while you're down there we're done taking the shoes off what lower the gas prices but also sean you fly all the time just fucking get pre man it's insane to me you don't have laura just got on my shit about it she doesn't get on my shit about a lot and she was just like this is crazy that you don't it's absurd the bachelor party in vegas i have pre i went through pre and then i sat there and waited for you for like 20 minutes and i don't mind waiting for you it's not bad i felt bad for you yeah uh now i have a question you thought taking your shoes off was good yeah oh yeah wait good good right when it started right when it
Starting point is 00:53:41 started i was like sure we were all whatever whatever you want anything we can do to go get those guys that was also early on in the funny sock game you know we were all tossing the word patriot around a lot yeah that is true i did love letting the tsa see my little chewbacca these ones have bacon on them and the other have eggs that's cute you get socks with laces on them and you're like whoa i, I got shoes on still. Sean was doing the toe sock thing too for a while. So when we just flew to Michigan, my ticket, both of our tickets said Laura's name on them. And I got through with my ID that says Sean and my ticket that said Laura.
Starting point is 00:54:19 They let me through. It was shocking. And after I got through, I'm like, I still got to take my shoes off. I don't even have the right name on my ticket. And so it just, yeah, this is a very recent one. But I'm like, I still got to take my shoes off? I don't even have the right name on my ticket. This is a very recent one, but I'm like, I think we're really done with the shoes off. If they had caught some shoe bombs...
Starting point is 00:54:33 It was mid-flight. I'm saying, it ain't happening. No one's using their shoes for this anymore. Let's be done with it. You're 100% right though if they're not verifying names on tickets anymore they're not finding a ball in a shoe right i got to the gate and she looked at she goes you're not laura at the getting on the
Starting point is 00:54:54 flight you know and i go i know that i know i'm not and uh she goes she started getting mad at me i was like they let me through security with this it's not this is my ticket they gave me at the counter right there she was and that it was they just gave me a hard time because they're at the airport i digress taking off your shoes done with it started off good i think done with it say no more it is kind of fun it is kind of fun to take your shoes off and feel like like well-worn like tile under your sockies you ever go i went to LAX one time with no socks on. Bro, I didn't even think about it.
Starting point is 00:55:28 You knew what was happening. It was the worst feeling. It was a bummer. That's how COVID was invented. Everyone's like, whoa, whoa. That's when you gotta be worried. When you see that, you're like, yeah, I don't have socks on. What am I worried about? Did anyone throw you a chaka?
Starting point is 00:55:48 Not one person threw me a chaka threw me some looks you were throwing a look yourself i was yeah no shoes the look says i'm into 311's new stuff i'm gonna sleep at the airport i don't have a flight it's sean o'connor time for your second pick all right my second pick is talking shit on the internet oh yeah we were we were the generation that kind of like started you know like shitting on things because we were perfect we were the perfect age to shit on things yeah when we got the internet yeah and like you know it just got you far i mean like literally i saw a a lady post a list of every author of the last 200 years and why they're problematic i'm like enough i'm over it and it's also like at some point who the fuck are you why am i why am i listening to
Starting point is 00:56:41 fucking any of you dweebs? Shut up. I don't give a fuck about you. 301 energy right here. Associate producer at somewhere or associate professor at somewhere I've never heard. Yeah, 301 big time. So you say you're in the YouTube dog comments, dog. Like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. The big kiss out here giving it to him.
Starting point is 00:57:05 They'll be like Agatha Christie. Seemed a little too into murder, if you ask me. Yeah. And what do you enjoy then? What do you enjoy? We can't intake bad stuff or we're going to go fucking crazy? Shut up. Come on. I'm not reading a book about Norman Mailer saying it's good to stab your wife.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I'm just reading a book by him. Yeah, I can read a book about stabbing it's good to stab your wife. You know, that's not what it's. I'm just reading a book by him. Yeah, I can read a book about stabbing your wife and not stab your wife. It's a thing I got. This week, this week, a show I worked on got taken off of HBO Max. And like one of the writers like posted this long thing about how he feels like his like work is being like diminished by that. So somebody responded to him going like, he's like, I'm sick of you. Hollywood types,
Starting point is 00:57:46 uh, complain whining about stuff like this. Some of us can't even get in the door. And it's like, why are you, why are you saying this? But then the funniest thing was somebody was like, well,
Starting point is 00:57:57 what is your idea? And the guy goes funny. You should ask. My idea is a college kid gets genie powers. That is the worst idea I've ever heard i kind of think we should get him in the door give him the rock he'll do some damage let us put in let us put in and see what the rest of the body follows i love it your first thought would be college kid gets a genie. Nope. This is a college kid who gets genie powers. You're going to see both sides of that door pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:58:31 That's so funny. He's somebody that's constantly being put out to work. Jonah, I think I couldn't get a college show to stay on the air. But he didn't have genie powers. Yo, college kid gets genie powers this is the funniest thing i've heard all week oh that's so funny shoot your fucking shot though i wish i could beat off anywhere who's this genie he's the college kid he's the college kid i guess so the college kid
Starting point is 00:59:07 gets genie powers which means he can't grant himself freedom or wishes but he's essentially tied to someone else yeah just tethered for three wishes of everyone he meets at college i mean that's like 800 episodes right there it It's an allegory about student loans. The more you talk, the more you're talking it out. I'm like, ah, maybe, maybe we give this guy a call. I see this as a comedy the way Barry's a comedy. Real dark. I think my first wish is I would wish the genie graduated college with a fine arts degree.
Starting point is 00:59:41 I'd really, really, I'd really get him out there. You know, I wouldn't wish him free, but he would have a college degree no you're the genie no i'm saying i if i'm the wisher oh i would wish that for him you're one of the other college students nice guy i rubbed the uh the dorm the dorm sack that he's in or whatever the genie's a genius south dakota state for three weeks yeah shout out to the jackrabbits see now it's a good thing i went to the to the University of South Dakota. So yeah, you bag on SDSU all you want. Those cowards can suck a railroad spike.
Starting point is 01:00:10 That's my bad. That's far too empathetic for a college kid. No one's wishing freedom. They're like... No, no, no. He's not free. I'm saying I'm giving him a degree. I'm giving him a degree.
Starting point is 01:00:19 He's not free. He's still my genie, but I'm just saying. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's your first wish. What are your next two? Maybe I'd take his degree away. Is this psychological warfare?
Starting point is 01:00:34 That is dark. Back foot him. Back foot him. What now? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I guess I'd graduate, but I wouldn't have to do anything.
Starting point is 01:00:50 Wow. That was a really quick three wishes of all the things you want to hear the first you want to hear the first thing that popped into my head that i got scared to say but i'll give it to the people that listen to this but it's rude as i was going to say i wish a speech impediment on this genie wow so then you can't give other people why do you hate genies so much i'm just dark comedy man i'm. I'm going dark. I'm dark. Listen, this is 301. Oh, sure. But when I claim you're a bully, I'm a monster.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Okay. Fuck me. Maybe I'm the only one who saw the signs all along. David, you were a monster because you didn't wear a mask through the whole pandemic. But that's neither here nor there. I never got COVID, Sean. Did you? Well, it's not real.
Starting point is 01:01:22 So we'll talk about that a lot more in the next episode. Exactly. It's like asking me if I ever got the tooth fairy pregnant. No, I didn't. I assume she's a woman who can get pregnant. I have no idea. If she did, she can't and shouldn't be able to get an abortion. She's on birth control, dude. She's from California.
Starting point is 01:01:35 It's a beating heart already. Why would you do anything to Nick Aitman? Three-on-one. David, come for your second and third picks. Come to the three-on-one live on the steps of the capitol building i'm just gonna you know what i'm going with my heart on these ones and these are gonna i think the office being in the general zeitgeist yeah yeah i'm fucking shut up there's been so many shows you're wearing a dunder mifflin shirt at the goddamn grocery store
Starting point is 01:02:05 i get it he was awkward you gotta you gotta move on man you gotta fucking move on go watch this fool on hulu or anything it's personality the last three seasons last two seasons weren't even good jim and pam are very irritating you're 100 right because as soon as everyone just starts agreeing that everything's the funniest thing in the world it stops being funny exactly fucking austin powers austin powers the funniest thing in the world and now i hate its guts yeah like yeah it yeah exactly and that's how i feel about i don't even want to watch it anymore because it's like oh god everywhere i go i see or hear hear talk of it or like you guys are married but like on dating apps i'm just looking for my my jam no wait do you see that do you see that it's all the time that's i think it's really easy it's that and sarcasm is a language that I speak.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Oh, yeah. I think both of these things are stupid. You have I'm looking for my Pam, but it's not the one from The Office. No, it's Pam Greer. Yeah. Or Pam from Living Single. Yeah. Or not Living Single.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Martin? Martin, yeah. She could sing. She could do it all. Anyways, the point is just, it's just like man i get it's like the corniest shit it's the work like i at this point i would probably watch an episode of friends before i would go to watch an episode of the office yeah it it is weird too to be like because i have i've seen that on like the thing of people like being like you gotta like the office if you're gonna date me like you were saying it's just so weird to be like,
Starting point is 01:03:45 yeah, you better have a sense of humor from 12 years ago. I'm saying, I'm saying the shit didn't progress at all for you? Like, dog. Yeah, there's other sitcoms. I loved it when it was on. I'm not saying that. It was funny. It was funny.
Starting point is 01:04:00 I thought you'd still go back and watch it again, and it would be great, but do it quietly. Just, but it's like, it's still your whole shit? Still? It's your whole thing? God damn, man. That's irritating. I love it.
Starting point is 01:04:14 I love this. Mix it up. I love this. So yeah, The Office being in the General Zeitgeist took that. Know what? Yeah. Do it. I mean it mcdonald's oh i'm over it you haven't added anything new good since the arch deluxe get the fuck out of here i don't care anymore it tastes
Starting point is 01:04:38 like it's a seven or a six every time you fucked me over on the dollar menu as well as a whole generation of young people don't even have a dollar menu anymore do they that's what i'm saying get out of here what are you doing we're holding on to this this old relic i'm not in i'm not for it i'm over mcdonald's i'm charging higher prices for the food like they didn't buy all that beef in 1998 what are you doing and it's mostly plant protein or whatever now yeah get out of here oh yeah and it's just they haven't done anything new and it's like what they have has gotten stagnant as fuck right they're touring off the first album for sure the big mac came out when i was a boy you can still find me enjoying a filet of fish from every now and then you know me all that shit is
Starting point is 01:05:24 good but that shit is it did come out a long time ago they are the rolling stones they play the hits they have no new releases they just come out there and you're like oh wow yeah the fries seem like they're old and like just bones now but like yeah that's pretty good yeah i guess i i did used to really like this i did really want my mom to stop here in 99. And that's what they're driving off of. Meanwhile, Jack in the Box is out here like the island of Dr. Moreau. Like fucking crazy. Jack in the Box has like 15 condiments even.
Starting point is 01:05:57 You get fucking crazy shit there. Jack in the Box is bananas. They're still trying. They're still trying. Yeah, they're still trying. McDonald's gave up years ago and it shows and i don't think you want to be there anymore mcdonald's i don't think you want to be there yeah you can get penguin mean a jack-in-the-box that's the beauty of being like number five
Starting point is 01:06:16 like if you're number five you get to continuously innovate to become like so you get into the top three there's nothing there's nothing left there's no world left for McDonald's to discover like McDonald's did it but even Coca-Cola is out here like but I guess they're fighting water they're fighting water but they have like space and they made the remix machine they're still they're still
Starting point is 01:06:37 they're still in it you're true Coca-Cola is like hey Bad Bunny what do you want Coca-Cola to taste like exactly he's like that could work but and i like that what i don't like is mcdonald's being like hey sweetie what's your favorite meal now we're just doing now i just gotta eat what bieber eats when he goes to this place that has he's gonna pick one of the five things we all pick. I promise. Yeah. It fucking sucks. Those like the J Balvin menu was just like a 10 piece McNugget with a hamburger. It's like, I'm more adventurous than that.
Starting point is 01:07:12 Yeah. These do also give me, give me a fucking meal curated by someone who eats there. I've seen J Balvin with his shirt off. It's not him. That's what I'm saying. And I remember when people used to go in there and they used to fuck shit up. I'm getting double cheese. I'm getting fucking mac sauce on a filet-o-fish.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Suck my dick. I'm going nuts in here. Give me the Steve Bannon menu at McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. Now you're like, oh, it's a Sprite with some strawberry in it. Fucking kill yourself. Let's get a McDonald's menu from like Bam Margera's dad, you know? Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. in it fucking kill you let's get a mcdonald's menu from like bam margera's dad you know yeah man you don't put nuggets on any of the burgers but you want me to keep
Starting point is 01:07:52 come on yeah well they did that i love it like they have like special off menu things that they put on the menu but then you had to construct it yourself in the car which was just like i'm like i'm too fat to be seen doing this i'm already getting this before a different dinner yeah yeah you just do that inside and give it to me childish they're childish taco bell they're on top of the fast food mexican game can't be stopped and they're just remixing the same six things themselves. I think so. They're staying fresh. But they're still trying.
Starting point is 01:08:29 They brought in some breakfast. It's just McDonald's. You got nowhere to go. Leave at the top of your game is what I say. You know what I mean? But I'll fucking take a risk. Make lasagna, dude. I don't want.
Starting point is 01:08:40 I think they should just get out. I will say McDonald's, when they were, it was like early early aughts they had mozzarella sticks yeah and they were incredible oh yeah they had wings for a minute they were doing some stuff the breakfast can get it anytime it wants i mean the breakfast is is dope man the french toast sticks all of it it's dope it's all good and what else is good is sean o'connor's third pick mczania i think it's my good. And what else is good? Sean O'Connor's third pick. McZanya, I think it's my third pick. You know, my third pick of something that was good but got worse as it went along was the 1990 Chicago Bulls.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Oh! It was very exciting to me. Watching Jordan finally overcome that last generation of those Laker know, those Laker teams, Celtics teams, Pistons teams. So exciting. However,
Starting point is 01:09:29 it went on for too long. Yeah. And it's, it's not fun to root for someone who wins every single year. It's the Warriors curse. It is like, it kind of ruins that team. Like,
Starting point is 01:09:39 I'm like Steph Curry retire and like go play bocce ball for a year. That's the only other sport I think he succeeds in. But, yeah, like, that 90, early 90s, I was, like, so into that Bulls team. I was so excited. Like, Jordan was fucking cool. But then coming back after, like, the Houston Rockets won, I'm like, it is way more fun to watch other teams win. Yeah. We're doing this again.
Starting point is 01:10:06 I used to fucking hate the kids. I lived in Portland, Oregon, which had a great basketball team in the early, in most of the 90s, actually. And like, seeing all these kids in Bulls uniforms,
Starting point is 01:10:16 it's like, you're fucking boring. Now you know, those are the kids wearing Dunder Mifflin shirts now. They are. You know, like,
Starting point is 01:10:22 being a true blue fan of where you're from, that fucking rules like that rules i would have loved to see clyde win with portland like oh god it would have been so nice i mean like listen i was a big portland guy because i loved uh when they got uh rashid wallace so much like i love rashid he's like one of my favorite nba players ever who you talking who you talking yeah he's got the painting yeah he's like four different pieces of routine art in my garage yeah yeah it's the greatest yeah but yeah like jordan like honestly
Starting point is 01:10:51 watching that documentary which was a great documentary it is good at a point you're like this who's gaining anything from this well they're doing like weird plot there it's like a tv show that went on too long like they're doing weird season eight plot lines and stuff you know what i mean they're like nobody can find dennis rodman like they're just i don't know i don't know what i don't know what to do i don't know we introduced tony kukoc like a fun like cute he introduced a cute eastern european guy yeah he's kind of like a cousin balky yeah yeah it went on way too long yeah i get it it was amazing but yeah it was at the end you're like okay i got sick you know what was weird was like, you remember being a kid and like, who's the finals going
Starting point is 01:11:45 to be? The Bulls and. Yeah, that was the worst. Yeah, that was not great. Especially because you had that super exciting like Orlando Magic team because I love Shaq and like. Love Shaq. Sorry, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:12:01 No, that should be the new my wife is whatever someone says i love shack i have no more oh man no that's a good that's that's a solid that's a rock solid pick uh sean jordan david's got me feeling crazy out here so i'm gonna say that i didn't valentine's day i'm done with it i've been done with it never knew never you didn't knew you to be that into it you're so romantic though i love valentine's day you were going crazy right didn't you try to get your teacher to suck you off or something? I asked.
Starting point is 01:12:46 That was going to be after marriage, but I did propose, yes. I'm sorry for wording it that way. No, that was why. Ian always says, suck me off, too, and it's the closest way to... Can you imagine if you're like, hey, you want to go... What if I always say suck me off? Ian's only said... It's a catchphrase at this point.
Starting point is 01:13:04 Suck me off. Suck me off. off at this point suck me up wake up and i'd be like all right man have fun at work and be like suck me off and then you know that's true i do say that so wait you proposed to your teacher when i was in second grade that's what i took from it was ill dude yeah but there was a heavy implication of you getting sucked off by her i I imagined that's what married folk do. Yes, at some point, I assumed I'd get sucked off, but that's neither here nor there. Valentine's Day, it's way too much pressure if you're already with somebody, and it's depressing if you're not. The only thing about Valentine's Day that can be fun is if you are nervous to ask someone out or whatever, and it gives you an excuse, but you shouldn't need an excuse.
Starting point is 01:13:42 You shouldn't need an excuse to be romantic or give your partner a good day you just do it you should do it all the time if you feel like it and valentine's day is a fucking racket but if you do it all the time though don't want won't the won't the stock go down i don't think so keep the tricks guessing uh no i mean you can do different stuff i mean i know i don't think so we're being very serious now uh i yeah i don't know it's just a racket to me it's too much money it's too much pressure that is unnecessary I don't think so. We're being very serious now. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a racket to me. It's too much money. It's too much pressure that is unnecessary. I don't know. Dana and I cook. We do a cooking.
Starting point is 01:14:12 We stay in and cook on Valentine's Day and watch a movie, which I guess we don't need it to be Valentine's Day to do that. No, it's ill. I mean, it's fine. It's just too much pressure. You just feel like you should do something crazy. I don't know. We already got birthdays for that shit if you're with a partner. You know what I mean? That's already enough. Sometimes I feel like you should do something uh crazy or i don't know we already got birthdays for that shit if you're with a partner you know what i mean that's already enough sometimes i feel like you hate celebrations no dude that's crazy that is crazy you didn't see me in las vegas all i did was
Starting point is 01:14:33 celebrate i don't know if that was a that that that felt like that could have also been some kind of a tragedy 18 hours of drinking it's like up for grab it's a celebration when you're like i don't think people should have their own fucking birthdays like sometimes i feel like you know i didn't say i said i'm over adults birthday parties that's it's a whole that's a celebration sean i like celebrating birthdays so is valentine's day his next pick is gonna be like like Guy Fawkes Day. Yeah, Black History Month. Enough is enough. Stop saying picks.
Starting point is 01:15:13 We can't hit it. Tune into the 301 if you want the hot goss. I just think Valentine's Day is too much pressure. I think it's unnecessary pressure and like it's depressing for no reason for people without a partner. I will say I found out like maybe six years with my wife, six years into my relationship with my wife. And she does not like Valentine's Day. And we never even talked about it. We just went along with everything of getting me getting her flowers, hanging out to her restaurant. And she was like, I don't like this.
Starting point is 01:15:42 And that goes to the pressure. Yeah, that goes to the pressure yeah that goes to the pressure as you feel like it's like part of society as you have to do this if you're pressured to like it probably yeah yeah oh yeah i will say if you're not in a relationship it's a pretty easy day to get laid kind of like on a no pressure like oh you know valentine's day yonas valentine's unis all right time for my third and fourth picks as it is okay as it is a serpentine draft it is indeed it is this is hear hear me hear me out
Starting point is 01:16:25 this is not a 301 pick either okay let me lay back down and get my leg in the shop like it is for sure donald trump oh because it was a good thing because he was funny if he would have died in like 2002 you know what i mean like 2000 and he was just the donald trump who was like bombastic and kind of funny on tv and ridiculous and like and was on in home alone and all that yeah yeah and all the he had the apprentice everybody did you fired. Quarter. He didn't need it. No, we didn't need that fourth quarter. He really blew the lead.
Starting point is 01:17:08 He was in the commercial eating like pizza backwards. He was like the cartoon rich guy. Yeah. If he actually like in like 2011, his plane exploded. That would have been the best thing ever for the world because we could have just enjoyed the guy who was just really silly and fun. And I'm sure he was doing terrible shit like not paying contractors or whatever whatever. That never got back to me.
Starting point is 01:17:33 No. No. You didn't even care what was going on outside of him on TV. That doesn't affect any of us really. He was just doing cocaine and and
Starting point is 01:17:44 you know what I just doing cocaine and and you know i'm being weird you're like yeah uh and then he couldn't have ruined it more you know what i mean he really couldn't have ruined it more he was i mean depending on what what episode you're on yeah i think some of our 301 heads feel quite different although we're gonna be josh hollycore is what i uh probably so but anyway uh don't run the santas uh donald trump i think he was a good thing sneak it into like random conversation he was really fun like there was a time that everybody was kind of like he he was never a polarizing figure i feel like everybody was kind of like he was never a polarizing figure. I feel like everybody was kind of like Donald Trump. That guy.
Starting point is 01:18:26 Yeah. He's a big, rich dummy. Yeah. He was a rich dummy. He was perfect. He was perfect for what he did. He played a millionaire on TV. And we're all like, hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:37 He shows up in Little Rascals. And he's like, the best son money can buy. You're like, yeah, I know that guy. Yeah, that guy's money's that guy's money that guy's money he's walking around human money like he was fucked they put here's how not polarizing was he they put him in the sequel to home alone they were like somebody who everybody loves this guy no i feel you fuck man three uh donald trump and then i'm going to take all right here's like kind of an obvious pick this is this is less silly
Starting point is 01:19:05 but i'm taking fucking superhero movies oh baby stop who you're telling come on i've been sick of that shit i gotta see ant-man 7 every movie is ant-man 7 all the bunch of movies about fucking comic books nobody read you didn't read the eternals nobody read that yeah and it's harsh because they're like they're cranking out these storylines that are just ridiculous and these are ridiculous there's room to have a ridiculous storyline it's a superhero movie it's a hat on a hat you're already asking me to buy that a boy got bit by a spider and now he can basically fly with spider powers which like spiders can't do yeah you're basically you want me to buy that but then you also have have to get me to like invest in the fucking multiverse yeah much now to know what's up with the spider dude i also have to
Starting point is 01:19:58 be like in deep with what happens with like weird old gods and shit like i just that and they're not like listen they're movies that are bees at everything yeah does that make sense yeah so but then because of that we're not making anything that's just like an a in one thing like a movie can just be very funny and not have any action right yes yeah or a movie can be very dramatic and well acted and nobody gets shot in the face or it's not fun like genre is fine genre is fine this multi-genre it has to everybody's pithy and tough it's like it's so no character's ever gonna be relatable again yeah no character's ever gonna be relatable again every half the people on earth half 50 of the people on earth vanished for five years and everyone's still doing one monitors
Starting point is 01:20:55 it gives like no space for like dynamic character i just feel like no superhero movie characters i did are dynamic they're also chloe xiao went from nomadland to a superhero movie like shout out to camille get that money and you were great in it but like fucking that's what chloe xiao does next you know i hate that too yeah we have these great actors and they just got to be dr strange that's not chloe xiao does next you know i hate that too yeah we have these great actors and they just got to be dr strange that's not i don't know why that was the one but you know what i mean like i don't want good actors to have to fucking be ant-man 8 like let them act in good things yeah yeah christian bale plays like a guy who falls into powdered sugar in the new thorn
Starting point is 01:21:42 yeah come on i will say say She-Hulk rules. She-Hulk is great. It's fantastic. Everybody watch it. Go watch it. Dana worked on it, but it earnestly is like it's just a lawyer show, so it's great. It's genre. It's a comedy. It's genre. Yeah. It's Ally McNeil. It's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. Dancing
Starting point is 01:21:59 Baby. I just hate that every movie is that. It's just making... And that's why our movies are kind of going to shit. Feels like the rest of the world. They get a lot better movies than we are. I'm going to theaters to watch Norwegian movies. The 90s would never. Never.
Starting point is 01:22:18 Never. I would have been seeing Harrison Ford in a courtroom or something. Come on. Yeah. That movie was really good, though. Worst person in the world or whatever come on yeah about it yeah that movie was really good though worst person in the world or whatever oh yeah no i loved it yeah me too it's very very good sean jordan time for your fourth pick i was done with this right away it's new but axe throwing it started out kind of fun i remember seeing it and i was like that
Starting point is 01:22:42 and then i tried it and i swear i got one in my hand and i was like no it's the same me it's too scary well they won't let you they won't let you throw it like you want you got to throw it like a dork and you're like i want to what do you mean they won't i've never done it you gotta you gotta it's very specific you gotta like two-handed and throw it like a nerd and let go we're like two-handed uh-huh yeah like i want to spin around and throw it like i'm like i'm hunting or something but you can't be in like an action movie but they don't let that happen and nothing fun starts with a 15 minute class on how to do something never i went to like one friend's birthday party i was like so excited to throw some axes and then there was a 15 minute
Starting point is 01:23:21 class and then every time i looked down to like zone out because I didn't give a shit about the class they were like excuse me excuse me this is very important and I'm like this is a birthday party you just ruined all the fun there's a line that you you get yelled at I know it's the safety but it's like I went over the line
Starting point is 01:23:40 a couple times and they yelled at you and you're like I don't I just paid you money I don't want you yelling at me this is the birthday industrial complex you know what I mean it's just you know what the best birthday party is go to a bar yeah yeah it's still rules chill and talk to your friends i mean that's fucking right have a dinner you know i don't need a i don't need if it's tight if axes are around but i don't need them around you know i'll have fun with you guys no matter what but i mean i'm saying like i did for a second. Think it was dank.
Starting point is 01:24:08 And then it just it wasn't it. It was wasn't it. It just ain't. So I'm done with it. I got the same feeling I got throwing axes that I did the first time. The only time I ever went to a gun range is I was like, OK, yeah, this will be fun. And then as soon as I held the weapon, I was like, nope, not me. Not for me. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:23 I'm a beta baby. Real butter boy. I was like, nope. Not me. Not for me. I'm a beta, baby. Real butter boy. I'm a butter boy. We're going to find out what is for you because it's time for you to make your next pick, Sean O'Connor. You know, something that started out good but isn't as good anymore is emo music. And maybe it's because I got older. But you know what?
Starting point is 01:24:41 You watched that MGK doc? Life in the Pink? No, I have not watched that bringing it's about how he brought emo back it's it's interesting if you liked emo you should watch it is that how you felt about that that's a big mgk guy that's what it was about it's about how he brings he thinks he brought emo back like emo core like rock music he brought it back to the mainstream is what that whole thing we had different feelings on that documentary yeah i have not watched it i loved emo music in high school i like some emo i like some emo bands nowadays like joyce manner and stuff but like truly like thinking about it it was great and then as soon as i hit 19 and no longer applied to me at all like i have no ill will towards girls i dated and my grandparents have died 30 years ago and those
Starting point is 01:25:33 were the only two topics of songs i mean taking back taking back sunday in high school like come with the man come with the moment that was fucking it was perfect it was perfect listen i'll even fuck with like a welcome to the black parade it rolls it's fun it makes every drive better that is a fucking banger that song i mean i mean you know did more for emo than mgk is what i'll say yeah yeah i also i want to interject i also watched that documentary definitely walked away thinking that guy fucking sucks it's like this dude is the worst don't don't twist it i'm not saying that i think he's dope i'm saying what i took away is that he thinks he brought emo back to mainstream is like i think yeah i think he thinks a lot of stuff yeah i'm not i'm not saying he's dope he no no it was and i used to like mgk back in the day but it's
Starting point is 01:26:24 not really yeah like that'll walk a flock a song and i used to like mgk back in the day but it's not really yeah like that'll walk a flock a song and i used to think he was kind of buck wild boy i never understood i just like the buckness it was fun like uh i get you all about the buckness um but no i anyway david and i were gonna start a spin on all about the buckness where we talk about 301 and life in the pink dude don't cut me out of that, dude. Come on. Trust me, I don't want to talk about Life in the Pink. I'm pretty embarrassed I watched it. Had you not said that, it would never have come up that
Starting point is 01:26:53 I watched that movie. I think you told me to watch it. No, I tell you to watch cool shit. Because, no, I mean, when I tell Sean to watch something it's something i watch and i'm like dude i think you would really like this so maybe i did think that but i don't think i'm it was interesting i'm not saying it but it was it was interesting yeah i'll tell you what else is going to be interesting what the remaining picks in this draft which we'll get to right after we
Starting point is 01:27:21 take this next break this This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by schedule 35. Now microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by schedule 35, our partner in getting things done.
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Starting point is 01:28:46 You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code allfantasy. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Everything already in progress. It's our 300th episode.
Starting point is 01:29:10 David, it's time for you to make your fourth and then your final picks as it is a serpentine draft. Okay. Fourth pick. I can't believe I got this far. Although, tell me if this steps on Sean's kind of and I will totally take it away. I was going to say social media. No, it's... I don't think necessarily.
Starting point is 01:29:29 No, it's fine. I mean, social media sucks for a hundred reasons. I think it's just, I think we got the max of communication and, like, connecting people. I think it just has gotten to this point where it's just, it's, like, all bad. It's just everybody, whenever they're on it, it's like all bad it's just everybody whenever they're on it it's like this sucks i yeah maybe not everybody feels what's capitalism and i'm not one of those dudes but like once capitalism got involved and was like let's also make it addictive you know what i mean like in a big way like that's when it was like oh shit like we're only seeing the bad stuff
Starting point is 01:30:00 and it makes it right and it's making kids go insane kids are going nuts like maybe we gotta it's gotta be listen i only have the instagram because like if i had a different job i wouldn't have an instagram either yeah yeah i would love to get off of social media as a whole at this point like at first i really liked it because you can just keep in touch with people and see who got like you know like and it was fun wait or got ugly and i was like hell yeah this place rules and then now now i just see everyone's terrible opinions about everything all day long and it affects my mood somehow yeah no no i feel you yeah yeah and it's just like and everybody's lying so it's like i'm gonna watch a bunch of people lie i might as well just watch tv the production value is better you know what i mean yeah i'm watching instagram comedians like this shit i know i think it's
Starting point is 01:30:49 ruined so much stuff that i like i think it's really terrible for stand-up i think that putting words on the bottom of your clips it's and then like that you have to do i'm not saying mad at people doing that no no but i think it like extends it makes these people who are not good at it good because they can do a minute as opposed to 45 yeah i think it's like i think it like extends, it makes these people who are not good at it good because they can do a minute as opposed to 45. Yeah. I think it's like, I think it's done that for music,
Starting point is 01:31:10 like really shortened the length of things. People, I think it's just not, we're not, it's diminishing returns. It's awful. It's awful. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:18 And then my, Oh yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. No, no. And you're fine. And your final pick the nineties,
Starting point is 01:31:24 the nineties. it's done man it's just shut up don't tell me i love the 90s the rebirth you mean yeah it's like dude i just i think i follow a lot of like weird sneaker blogs and fashion blogs it's like we're just all dressed in like different periods of the it was great man but that shit is fucking done yeah what's the future gonna be yeah you can't pay that much attention that like i understand history doomed to repeat it at all but like and it was great it wasn't perfect all you kids who weren't there it wasn't perfect most of you would have told people you had anxiety and they would have put you in a trash can they were saying a lot of words that you guys don't like.
Starting point is 01:32:05 It wasn't as great as when kids talk about it. I'm like, oh, shut up. You can't cherry pick the things that you like from a generation. You have to take it all. It was dangerous. If VH1 taught us anything, if you love the 90s, you have to love every part of the 90s. Every part of it.
Starting point is 01:32:23 My last thing, there's not one decade I got beat up more in than the 1990s you have to love every part of the 90s exactly my last thing there's not one decade i got beat up more in than the than the 1990s smash my out did rule back then though still yeah uh sean o'connor your final pick you know my final pick is just this is just something that uh i think it's just pissed me off this week i'm just tired of hot chicken i really loved it it's everywhere it's everywhere what is that i have no idea i guess like you get a tax break if your chicken's hot or something because every new location especially glendale california there is at least 35 hot chicken places within walking distance of my house all it is out here it's fucking nuts like is it is it can you launder money or something like through with hot chicken
Starting point is 01:33:10 i don't i don't understand it man i and i loved it like the first time i had it i had it in nashville it was fucking life-changing like i i ate it i was like this is the best thing i've ever ate and then i had to pull over and decide to throw up to use like a rest stop because it like tore through me and i'm like that's the price you pay but it's a like worth it but now i'm at a point where there's so many places around me i'm like i'm done with this like i don't open up just a regular chicken place my question is it was it just easy to make is that how that happened so that everybody got to recreating it i think it just wasn't that hard it's not that hard i think spicy stuff is addictive too like flaming hot cheetos yeah absolutely is yeah but hot chicken
Starting point is 01:33:51 it was great but uh your time has passed uh sean jordan your final pick bumper stickers they became problematic when fucking trump's the act like uh you get like info wars and trump and shit so now every time i see a bumper sticker i get nervous because i'm like do i hate that person it used to be fun i don't think you should judge people just on their bumpers no i don't but i'm just saying it doesn't help if someone's got a shitty bumper sticker it means i'm used to i just bummed out to be you'd see one that would say ass grass or gas nobody rides for free and you could trust the person coexist you know dank ones but now they're i mean they're gonna fuck this person i taste this gas or give them weed you know what a trustworthy guy i know
Starting point is 01:34:34 well they're up for it about it yeah what if you just hop in you're like i want to i want to do all three i want to fuck you i want to pay for it and give you my weed that's a butter boy move here's all my money i'll blow you and give you my weed take me take me to spokane uh amazing peg yeah bumper stickers for sure time for my final pick i'm going to take stand-up comedy oh brother that's a whole nother episode yeah if you want to really literally it was on my list that i didn't have mine too well because i don't think it's i don't think it should be over for me but there's a bunch of people i do think no me neither you know it's gonna it's gone on too long for some people most asshole way to be about it yeah it is too accessible it's too accessible like there's just too many lists of
Starting point is 01:35:30 how to get started where back in the day you used to really have to do work to get there i had no idea and also too many cool like hot people and i'm not saying you can't be funny if you're not cool or hot but there's like a bunch of people who would have been in rock and roll bands and shit yeah and now they're fucking open open mics and we gotta hear their dumb ass shit and then everybody likes their clips first because they're they got the hottest looking conan and it's like dude that shit this it was i don't think it was ever supposed to be all that popular i think it was supposed to be a french i'm not trying to hear hot people talk about anything it's just interesting too because i'm like wow
Starting point is 01:36:07 these young comics today they're like in real movies and then i'm like oh it's because they're so hot yeah because they're so they're in real movies yeah like it's like the whole tone of it has shifted to like yeah it just shouldn't be in vogue because it's hard to have like it's hard to have any type of real opinion when you're that popular well that used to be people do five minutes if they were hot they would do five minutes so they could get an agent or a manager and then immediately go do tv and movies but now if all you need is five minutes you know what i mean like then yeah then you're you can stay as to anyway we also sound like old yeah it's complaining episode we've ever done yeah but it's 300 and i like that yeah get ready for 301 baby get ready for 301 that is my final pick the final pick of the draft marissa do you have
Starting point is 01:37:00 something good that went on for too long? Yeah, I'm going to say graduation ceremonies. Oh, yeah. They're good, but they just go on way too long. Yeah, always. Damn right they are. Let me out. You remember that you don't give a fuck about anybody else's kids or people they know? We're in age right now? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:37:21 This episode, not something good that went on too long. A, it's definitely good because we fucking rule but only a clean 100 minutes we did it pretty good we got out there we want to hear from you all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the
Starting point is 01:37:37 AFE patreon shout out to everyone on the AFE shislakity shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit shout out to St. Sue shout out to Frankie Ocean shout out to Sid the dude shout out tolackity. Shout out to everyone on the A-F-E subreddit. Shout out to St. Sue. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Hajime. Shout out to everyone who's been a guest on All Fantasy Everything.
Starting point is 01:37:53 All the way from people we love and treasure, like James Corden, Roxanne Gay, to people we don't care for that much, like Mike Malloy. Everyone, thank you for doing this. And more important than all of that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything Sha-clackity that was a hate gun podcast

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