All Fantasy Everything - Grilling Music (w/ Jamel Johnson)
Episode Date: July 11, 2024It's summer. We're grillin'. We're draftin'.Guest:Jamel Johnson (X @nonprofitcomic, IG @broccolihouse)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, ...mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything
from the world of popular culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting grillin' songs.
Our guest today is a stand-up comedian, a quintuple threat, every kind of threat there
is, a threat to entertain you.
It's a known, a known threat.
Just someone on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list.
To tickle you.
Interpol's got eyes on him.
Jamel Johnson is here.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel.
With me as always are my good friends and stand-up comedians, David Borey and Sean Jordan.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that is taking a boy's weekend to Ocean City.
Come on, just see the sights.
Sure.
Just let it all in.
I'll get some crab.
Where's Ocean City?
By the ocean.
I'll get some crab.
I'll get it.
I just had, I was thinking about you.
I just had a soft shell crab po' boy.
And I think you could do that, Sean.
Is there enough hot sauce to make it?
I tried. Well, here's what's crazy.
Not even hot sauce that they did on it.
There was a little bit of jam.
Oh.
It was crazy.
It was crazy.
I'll try.
I'm saying I'll try it.
I want to be into seafood.
It's never going to happen, but I want to.
Just like I want to be in a weed.
I want those things for me.
One makes a lot more sense than the other.
They both make a lot of sense.
Were you coastal when you had the soft shell crab sandwich,
or were you in Denver?
I was right downtown at Nola Jane's.
Landlocked.
Landlocked soft shell.
Oh, boy.
Let's go.
It was right after Troy Walker recorded his album.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm in a good mood, too.
Let's do it.
All right.
Shout out to Troy from the Chips Draft.
How does album recording go?
It went great.
It was so crazy.
He did four shows.
He needed one.
He bodied the first one.
And the other three were like, you know, all right. Like, they were great sets. But the first one and the other three were like you know all right
like they were great sets but the first one he went so crazy you know yeah he got everything
he needed yeah exactly exactly the energy is wonderful in an album recording that's a lovely
when the audience they're rooting for you they want you to do well too
yeah yeah no one can be like that you're all part of something what'd you say i said no one it can be like that really depresses you the rest of the time
when you go back that first show afterwards you're like well this blows
it's wednesday it's wednesday in omaha
i'm not recording anything this for some reason they thought you were Finesse Mitchell.
What happened?
Not that.
What happened to you where someone came out and they're like, hey, who was it?
It was when it was at Lunel.
Oh, it was supposed to be Lunel on Christmas.
Oh, in Vegas.
In Vegas.
Yeah, we think they'll be cool with it.
Kind of bad one that night.
Anyways.
Anyway. David's out here eating land bad one that night. Anyways. Anyway.
David's out here eating landlocked softshell.
Oh, yeah.
That sounds like some kind of a basketball nickname.
The landlocked softshell himself, David Boris.
He's like crawling on the ground. He'll make you sick ground he'll make you sick
he'll make you sick
you're not sure
if what I do is legal
yeah it's not against the rules but
can they do that here
Jamel is wearing a what jersey is this
I can't tell from
this is a Washington Mystics jersey it's a little snug
they don't make them in, you know.
They don't make them in men's sizes.
But I got me a...
I love that. I love that you committed.
You were like, no.
I can only wear it on this Zoom screen.
Brother,
I understand your point.
I got a Sabrina Ionescu Ducks jersey that
hugs the curves pretty good.
Hey, but listen, you had it
on at the live show. I did.
I didn't even look
twice at them
little Michelin tires.
They were there. They were along for the ride
though. Just in case anybody wants to take
me down to the post, I can do it from deep
and Sabrina can take it down low too.
I wore
a DeMarcus Cousins USA Olympic basketball jersey on the fourth to grill.
Oh, man.
Yes.
Yes.
That's big.
Yes.
I bought it.
Yes.
Boogie for America.
When he was on the team and I put it away, I'm like, this is going to be funny later.
This is not just funny.
Amazing.
I think it's all important that we remember the
magisterial performances of DeMarcus Boogie
Cousins on the basketball court.
But I think it also it speaks
to the status of our
nation, bro. Absolutely.
What are we if not a large Boogie
Cousins? Exactly. This is
ridiculous, man.
He's going he's going bald
now, but he's still balling
is he in Puerto Rico
he's always bouncing around
Taiwan
he was in Taiwan I think he was in Taiwan
recently
he was playing for Sapporo Life Dragons
with the team's names
you know the Taiwan team
that can't be it
I would have believed that I would have believed that
I would have said that
later today like it was a fact
he was on the Taiwan
beer leopards
the Sapporo
the Sapporo life
the Taiwan beer leopards
I knew it was some sort
of version of beer animal.
That is crazy.
Good job.
The Taiwan beer leopards.
How do I get that jersey, dude?
What the fuck is a beer leopard?
Oh, man.
Oh, speaking of jerseys.
ESPN, if y'all need anybody on the desk, I almost know the team names.
Speaking of jerseys, this is actually really important.
I'm glad we got Jamel here.
I know that you traffic in jerseys that are maybe not 100% authentic.
Sure, sure.
Schmada.
Hey, listen.
Yeah, Schmadas.
I need some 3XL Sierra Leone Adidas athletic gear.
Olympic gear.
Oh, baby.
That's definitely going to have to be a bootleg.
Because they did not make it for us.
That's why they don't make it.
They made seven of them.
Nobody's going to buy that shit.
You know how hard I had to get to get the official Sierra Leone team soccer shorts in 2X?
They got to have a weightlifting team or something, right?
They don't.
They don't, dog.
It's smaller than Rhode Island.
Oh, yeah, all right.
That's good point.
It's the football team and then whoever's hanging out with the football team
they don't got much else
there's four dudes who lift weights one is my cousin
shacked on Instagram now
all the time oh yeah
big into it
shout out for Francis Tiafoe
I know he's I think he reps America
but he made the third round of Wib I know he's, I think he reps America, but he made
the third round of Wimbledon. He's also,
he's a Sierra Leonean as me. No,
he was born here
too, but his parents came during
the war. Yeah, same thing. Bro, listen, if
anybody knows
Francis, if you're listening, please get with
me and Bori next time we're
in D.C. Free tickets to all the
shows, wherever. Whatever you need. Whatever you
want. Sierra Leone.
DMV.
The two things you love. Come on, bro.
Come on. I don't know much about tennis.
I know more
than him. You know enough.
Sierra Leone's Olympic team email
is olympic underscore S-L-E
at yahoo.com. Here's the
issue with contacting
things about Sierra Leone.
A lot of times it's just a guy.
You're like,
maybe I'm talking to the minister of foreign relations.
Maybe I'm talking to just some dude named Fode
who probably lives in the DMV
because there's a lot of Sierra Leoneans out there.
The president is Mr. Prince Vandy Sewally or Mr. Joseph Neande.
And if we're getting Sean a first pitch, I feel like we need to flex this podcast power and get you some Sierra Leone Olympic gear.
This would be the craziest thing that ever happened to me.
Come on.
Or just get the Federation to make you a set.
Hey, come on, man.
Okay, so here Well, okay.
So here's the thing.
It was designed by this guy from this company, Labrum London, who he's also the one who designed the shorts.
Labrum, like the shit in your shoulder?
Anyway, continue on that.
L-A-B-R-U-M.
Shout out to him.
But I follow him and the company online because he's just a fashion designer in Europe, in England.
But he also does...
It's a whole thing.
But if we could do it,
it would be crazy.
Now, is Adidas doing it?
You said it's through Adidas?
Yeah, it's Adidas.
It's through Adidas.
This is a big podcast
in Portland, Oregon.
Somebody's got to work for Adidas.
Adidas' North American headquarters
is in Adidas.
There's got to be somebody out there
who can make this happen.
And while they're at it,
get Sean Jordan a Labrum X Tupac black hoodie.
We could just do that.
And a grill!
Sean Jordan does not own a grill!
That's the most grill
looking man of all time.
You are a grill.
You look like a grill guy.
It's crazy.
It's weird you don't have a grill.
I was in a good mood, now I'm in a better mood. Thank you.
This is all great. You look like you put salmon on the grill.
Not on a plank.
But it's good though.
I like a plank.
Like on a plank.
It's interesting not having a grill.
On a skateboard.
He puts it on a skateboard on the grill.
No grip tape.
The second little rack is the board.
It keeps it from searing too hard on the bottom
searing?
I don't want to sear it
searing Leon
whoa Siri just turned on
oh no
sorry
hey Siri
follow Sean Jordan on Instagram
alright that's for everybody's listening oh does that work? Hey Siri, follow Sean Jordan on Instagram Alright
That's for everybody's
Oh, does that work?
I doubt it
You gotta tell them Sean Cougar Melon Jordan, dude
Now they're gonna follow that rapper in Canada
I was talking about a different guy
I was talking about a different Sean
I don't know what
Anyway, go ahead, Ian, you're the host
Sorry I interrupted, what were we gonna say?
Buy a grill, bro
What are you doing?
This is the summer.
My safe wife and I run into...
I don't know what...
I know what kind of grill I want.
I love my safe wife.
There's the kind of grill that my safe wife wants
to have a safe distance
from the railing and the furniture and all that.
We've really just like...
Wait, what do you want?
I don't know.
We've debated over where it would go on our deck.
And I'm like, it would go in the corner.
He wants a bunch of loose coals on the ground.
He wants to cook over a barrel of fire.
He wants a pig pit in a hole in the yard.
He wants to try to do it like the politicians.
I was going to pour gas on the furniture
and light that up and then throw meat on it and then let it rain.
And then, yeah, I'm like, it should go in the corner of the deck.
And she's like, well, it's got to be like three feet away from.
So we just can't find a good spot for it.
You're trying to put it on the wood?
Baby.
I think so.
You put that on the wood?
I see people with grills on the wood. Yeah, you put it on the wood. With teeth on penises. You think so. On the wood. I see people with grills on the wood with teeth on penises.
You get it.
Uh,
yeah,
I see people with grills on the wood.
Um,
but we do have cement too,
but it's covered and I don't know.
So it's kind of,
and then Max is running around and she,
you know,
she's always want to mess with shit right now.
So it's really just a fight.
Would it be if you came home with a grill?
It depends. Depends on what else i came home with okay how much money i earned before i bought the grill
that would matter uh what if you were like hey this this weekend trip to fucking milwaukee just
paid for this you wouldn't you wouldn't believe how much i say that like that just just just the
it's it's that weird horrible it's that broke person logic I say that. It's that weird, horrible... I won't.
It's that broke person logic, or that not broke person,
that spendaholic logic that I always do,
where I'll be like, well, I got a check coming in,
so there's that, so that covers this.
And until the check hits, I use that logic
for all kinds of different stuff.
And that's the problem is now you're over your skis
because that trip to Phoenix paid for five different things.
Yeah.
Including everything I did in Phoenix.
Yeah, exactly.
You got to take the Arizona tax off the top.
That's $300 worth of food and drink right there.
That's some sad math where you're like, oh, no, I didn't make two grand.
I made $600.
Because you just, you know, I bought some shoes
online when I was at the B&B, all that stuff.
I'm stuck on
what amount of money
would it take for Sean's wife to be cool
with Sean coming home with a fucked up grill.
I was kidding. She'd be cool with it.
A fucked up grill, though. Like, hey, eight grand,
I have a grill, and there's a raccoon inside but i made eight g's yeah we just gotta get the raccoon out then it's
all we just gotta get the raccoon out but the eight grand and the grill is i just walk up with
the check on a big stick so she sees it first and i'm ground got the grills around the corner. I'm like, huh? Even?
No, she'd love it.
I mean, and she'd also,
she's the griller.
She would do it all. I mean, I just would sit and...
She's the griller? Probably.
If there are gender roles,
they're reversed like crazy. Women can grill.
I'm not saying anything about that.
They can most certainly grill.
We'll talk about it. People don't even know
we're drafting it.
You should get a Blackstone
and then you could be
the Gribbler.
I wouldn't mind it.
I don't even...
You guys were talking
about it on the thread.
I don't even know what it is,
but you got...
You piqued my interest.
It's a griddle.
It's like a hot...
A hot plate?
I know what to do
with a hot plate.
The griddle.
I've been in an efficiency.
Have you seen that guy
on the internet?
He just throws butter on it.
Let me get two sticks of butter on the griddle now.
Pow!
And then it's like him and Bun B making burgers.
You ever seen that guy?
No.
On the block stone?
Oh, yeah.
Get some of that Cajun seasoning, baby.
But he takes the butter and he just throws it on there.
Okay.
This is where the cooking...
This is my limited knowledge.
The other day we're driving and I was like, what if I wanted to put hot sauce in like
cookie dough and then bake the cookies?
Laura goes, she goes, maybe you do it with biscuits and not cookies.
I was like, oh, you can do that.
Brother, let me tell you something.
I was just at an ice cream place.
Yeah.
And I was giving my partner some ideas that I have to get in the ice cream game.
They don't, if they don't have the vision,
don't even bring it to them.
Because I was getting shut
down.
Talk to us here.
This is a safe space for that.
I was like maybe a vanilla bean
cayenne.
That's not the
idea. I was just like, let's
open it up. Let's talk about
spicy vanilla.
That's all I want to say.
Let's just see where it could go.
That's what my apron's going to say when I buy the grill.
Spicy vanilla,
dude, yeah.
Well, you got Corey Kispert
on the Wizards. Yeah, yeah.
Spicy vanilla himself.
Oh, there's already a spicy vanilla
yeah no he's spiced that he's a spiced vanilla he's a spiced vanilla that's fine we're different
we're different guys um the chili paste on the vanilla ice cream is the thing that gets done
the uh you know like the chili crisp the chili crisp that's what i'm looking at i'm i got a text
message they do they do little flakes too they'll get flaky
on some of that stuff
yeah
little chili flakes
like a spicy chili flake
uh huh
I don't mind
there are a
there's a
there's a gochujang
pardon me Isaac
go
gochujang
gochujang
gochujang
gochujang
alright now Isaac
now Isaac you try to say it
I just said it
Isaac you try to say it
there's a cookie Isaac you had some of those Dana made them last year did you have one yeah yeah All right, now Isaac, you try to say it. I just said it. Isaac, you try to say it.
There's a cookie.
Isaac, you had some of those. Dana made them last year.
Did you have one? Yeah, they're great.
So that's like a Korean chili hot sauce kind of thing that gets
baked into cookies. It's good.
I put hot sauce in my syrup when I'm eating pancakes.
Into the syrup?
Wow.
Every now and again, you say something
about your current life that still surprises
me yeah I found
that I love that I love it
I love it
I mean I on this very
podcast I proclaim my love for a little
hot sauce and coffee combination
I put hot sauce in my au jus
which is just dipping coffee so
I get it no
no that's not right
I had a couple seconds where I'm like they're gonna let it go they're gonna let it run Dippin' Coffee, so I get it. No. No, that's not right.
I had a couple seconds where I'm like, they're gonna let it go.
They're gonna let it run.
I was still pondering.
I had a couple seconds where I wanted to let it go.
Bring Daddy's Dippin' Coffee.
Give me my Dippin' Coffee.
God damn it.
Maxine, bring Daddy's Dippin' Coffee.
Has there been any... There's a movie called Maxine
right now that's out.
Has this affected your life in any way?
No, we're talking. We're going to go see it
though. I think we got to,
but no, it hasn't affected my life.
Not a bad. Yeah, nothing to tell you.
Had to get it up there. Had to get the question up there.
Yeah, quick. You miss 100%
of shots you don't take, man.
Every journey starts with the first step.
And when there was one set of footprints on the beach?
That was me carrying
my passed out father.
Did we talk about that?
I forget if that was on here or not.
There was something about that.
That's when my dad left.
Funny t-shirt idea we had on the road
somewhere on the east coast.
We were drafting grilling.
I just grilled.
Grilling songs.
Grilling songs.
We're drafting grilling songs.
David almost passed out.
I had a grilling list.
I have a grilling songs list.
I have everything.
We could get, I think we could easily audible just the grilling, but let's do, we're drafting
grilling songs.
That's what our list is.
I've seen a lot of people grill, so I could probably do that yeah sean has seen a lot of people girl he is the prince who is promised
as far as grilling goes one day these are songs we want playing while we're grilling that's right
yeah not like this is like what it was so funny but well i don't know if i should wreck the potential topic. He looks like a character in a sandlot, Sean. Yeah, he does. Alright, Keith.
That's how young you look.
We're drafting Sean Jordan
in backyard baseball.
It's too hot out for baseball today.
Wendy Pfefferkorn ain't ready for all this, man.
After this, I'm going to the pool.
Gonna get this body out there.
No.
Are you and Kanan going to a pool or are you going to a
body of water i think we're going to a body of water good oh you guys are going swimming today
i if i can get that old grump out we are yeah i might go to the house jealous me drive him to
the oregon coast dog take him out there yeah come on get him back in charge take him to take him to
tillamook drive him. Yeah, get some cheese
curls. Bro, that cheese
factory is so dank.
You get free cheese.
You get to see them make it. Don't take much from me.
Just those two things.
Here's the thing about the Tillamook cheese factory.
It's also the Tillamook ice cream factory.
Well,
they got a whole little...
They got a whole...
The Tillamook ice cream factory. It's full. They got a whole little They got a whole The Dylan McGuise
Cream Factory
It's full
It's full
No I like that
I like that place that was a fun time
Yeah
What were we talking about drafting
Grilling songs
Sean Cougar Mel Mel Jordan on Instagram.
Shonda Rode
in a city near you.
A little bit, man. I'm going to take it.
Shonda Rimes with a keyboard.
Spotify near you.
Man, they got a lot of songs.
So Zach,
Count Zacula and I, we're going to be in Chicago.
There's 12 tickets left.
You're opening for him at the Lincoln Lodge, right?
Man, he's being cool about it.
He's taking me out, and it's nice for him.
And I'm happy about it.
I get to go to Chicago again, even though we just sold 600 tickets.
I get to go again.
Yes, we're going to Minneapolis first.
Sorry.
Minneapolis, August 10th.
We'll be at Sisyphus Brewing.
There's like 30 tickets left for that.
And then Chicago, August 13th. There's 12 tickets left forphus Brewing. There's like 30 tickets left for that. And then Chicago, August 13th.
There's 12 tickets left for that.
So buy the tickets. I'm very excited.
And you might catch us in a couple cities
in the middle.
Other than that, I think we said it last week.
We'll be at High Plains. So Denver, get ready.
It's going to be dank. That's right.
And buck. And sick.
Tight. And dope.
David Bore is here. guy jokes 87 on Instagram you're
exploding kittens out now out
now yeah it comes out this
comes out when does this come
out Thursday this Thursday I
think the show comes out on
Friday doesn't it oh out soon
you're right I don't know
because I haven't gotten my
fucking box oh hurtful ohurtful. Oh, yeah.
Exploding Kittens out.
Oh, yeah.
My special,
Birth of a Nation,
comes out
August 1st.
It drops.
Go on.
Sign up for the free Patreon.
I have about 30 videos on there.
I drop about two a week.
So there's a bunch of free videos
for you to watch
in anticipation of the special.
August 1st. Patreon.com backslash David Borey.
First week of sales helps so much to make me look like a cool guy.
Jokes.
87.
So go on there.
Are you showing a hole on there or no?
Not even.
I mean, if the numbers dip, I'm not against it.
A whole lot of emotion i will tell you
i love it that was beautiful we also have we have interviews from a lot of my friends all
three of the people on this podcast today have interviews coming out on the patreon uh yeah yeah
great i'm really looking forward to it I'm excited we're doing fun
stuff over there I blow this fucking
Biden thing wide open by the way with
my interview
wide open I blow
it wide open
you're gonna wanna
you're gonna wanna tune in you're gonna wanna join the
patreon because I fucking
I lay it out simple
clear and undeniably
yeah Joe it's Joe right it's Joe it's Joe I lay it out simple, clear, and undeniably.
Yeah. Joe? It's Joe,
right? It's Joe.
It's Hunter.
It's Jill.
Oh, wait, you found a third barrel to give him.
It's Joe Budden. It's not Joe Budden.
I thought he was going with Joe Buck for a second.
I've never seen him in a room together
is all I know. He's Biden adjacent.
You're catching strays. It's Budden, Biden, dude, all the Joes.
Buck, like Jamel said.
Fat somehow.
Montana.
Yeah.
This thing goes to the top.
Cool.
Camel.
Joe Camel's in there.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
A benign influence. AKA Jay-Z jay-z yeah there's a lot happening
patreon baby go yeah patreon first week's the sales it's important thank you so much
they have all the feedback we've been getting jamel don't call me hill johnson is here as well
yeah you know i am next to her was, my photos was next to each other
at a sandwich place. Were they really?
Yeah, yeah.
They spelled both of our names wrong.
Perfect.
You mean they just mixed them up?
Yeah, they just, they blended
both of them and then added extra
different letters to both of them.
If you're gonna fuck it up, fuck it up full.
At Nonprofit comic on twitter
at a limited time only baby who knows how long i might have to dip out man it's like great it's
like it feels fun but then whenever i open it it's like on x yeah it's like i feel like i'm on x i
feel like i'm taking a ecstasy pill from 2001 when i opened twitter and that's not good it's like a little
bits of rust in it yeah it ain't there's no reruns on there it's like either funny reruns that i like
or somebody saying something slight heinous yeah there's some real heinousness on there
and i don't know son i might have to break but that is what it is right now i'm only on there
for basketball at this point.
That's it.
Basketball's still pretty good.
It's still pretty good.
NBA Centel?
I need to find NBA Centel and shut them down.
You know, I will say this.
What Twitter's good for is if you want news.
I get my news on Twitter,
and that helps a lot.
I also get my pretend news on there.
Yeah, wait.
I was kidding.
Were you joking?
Yeah, I was joking. When I joking? Yeah, I was joking.
Yeah,
I would,
when I was on Twitter though,
if something happened,
that would be the first place I went.
Absolutely.
You can get it.
Well,
yeah,
someone,
if someone died,
like when,
when shifty shell shock died the other day,
I went to Twitter that that's where I saw that.
But for like,
he was the,
he was the crazy. Forgive me. I ain't mean to assume like he was the crazy.
Forgive me. I didn't mean to assume like that.
He was the
crazy town
singer. But I saw
something. I was like, oh, Twitter will be all over
this. Is that one of the
Juggalos? I'm not
making light of a man's death. I'm trying to say
that that's the kind of info I get on there.
Jamel was making light of it. Yeah death. I'm trying to say that that's where, that's the kind of info I get on there. Jamel was making light
of it. Yeah, my fault.
I was, my bad.
You don't want the fucking,
what, Crazy Town? He was in Crazy
Town? Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta have some kind of name. Butterfly, no.
Butterfly gets up. Jamel, let me ask you this.
Do you think if I put on Crazy
Town at, let's say The Roost, do you think if I
went into The Roost and I played Butterfly by Crazy Town
would that upset most of the people
at the bar or would they kind of
closeted be feeling it
I think they would kind of closeted be feeling it
I think you might get a couple scowls
but I think a couple of those 50 year
old individuals would be like yeah
because we a while back we drafted songs
that would piss off the whole bar if you put it on
on the jukebox and I picked Butterfly by Crazy town and these two were like i think a lot of people
like that song yeah it was a hit it was a hit it was a hit you remember that year it was everywhere
if you take everywhere it is it's still a pretty solid beat if you take the rapping out of it's
pretty good beat if they were in the all the time and you put the rapping back in
and now you got a hit dude oh easy clive what are you ripping my dick off it's too early for that
rip your goddamn take it by the base dude and twist until it rips by the root no you're gonna
pull the whole thing out you forget that they were in the and now this is taking on different
connotations but they were in the bad boy for life video. Yes. At the end, man, Crazy Town had,
they had heat, man.
Yeah.
That video was crazy.
A lot of people were in that.
Everybody was in that video.
Ben Stiller was also in that video.
Pop it in the pop.
Pop a, pop a.
Did he pop a pop?
Shaq.
Shaq's in it?
Shaq.
You know,
you want to hear some deep stage shit?
That guy from,
that guy from Crazy Town.
One of the guys from Crazy Town
looks like Ben Stiller and they were not in the same
shot in that video together. So maybe
Ben Stiller was in Crazy Town.
And that's the
silence I needed. Everybody think about it.
Chew on it. Now let's keep talking.
Deep state.
Broccoli
house on Instagram.
It was the broccoli house. Where can 301 Broccoli House on Instagram it was still Broccoli House
where can people see you
what's your gmail again
it's babytelemundo at gmail
yeah I was trying to email you
the link and I was like his email's
not his name
it's not his name
I'm in my email's like it ain't his name
and I'm typing it all I typed in every letter and I'm like,
none of these are it.
So every single time I've sent you an email that has made me laugh.
I'm like,
what?
Oh,
that's right.
Listen,
I,
I gotta,
I gotta thank the homie,
uh,
Roxy Vargas,
my,
my homie from high school.
Roxy Vargas?
Yeah. No, of course, Roxy Vargas my homie from high school roxy vargas yeah no of course roxy vargas it was
a it was a very intricate phone bit i would always do this thing because this is back when phone
calls were happening yeah oh yeah and whenever and whenever somebody called yeah it'd be like
i'd i'd get on the phone and i'd be like hello can i can I speak to Alias? You know what I'm saying?
Like, whenever I call somebody,
be like, hello, can I speak to, you know,
Rex Fontana, blah, blah, blah.
And then my friends picked up on it.
Now they're giving me, they call me,
they give me the alias.
Okay.
And Roxy hit me one time and was like,
hey, hello, is this Baby Telemundo?
And I was like, oh, shit.
Just the funniest shit I ever heard. Now it's forever.
Then I made a Gmail the next day.
This was like
2005, 2004?
Early Gmail. Yeah.
I was like, I gotta get this quick.
Somebody is gonna take this.
Someone's gonna take it.
That, when Gmail
started, I thought Hotmail was going to rule the world forever.
So I threw a one eight seven in my Gmail.
Cause I was like, whatever.
And then now it's got another email that makes me laugh every time.
Oh yeah.
One eight seven.
Oh Jordan, one eight seven.
Unbelievable.
So we're going to send you information about how to, you know, nurse, uh, Maxine, just
all the tips for that.
Is there a good email?
I'll say sometimes like give me an email. I'm like, I go Sean dot Jordan, nurse, uh, Maxine, just all the tips for that. Is there a good email? I'll say it sometimes like giving me an email.
I'm like, I go Sean dot Jordan, 18, seven.
Like I'll try to, I'll try to disguise it.
So it's not me being like, or I just get out,
I get out my desert Eagle and I'm like, Sean, Jordan, one 87.
Put it in your mouth.
Oh man. Oh yeah. Where can people see you? seven oh man
I don't even
oh yeah where can people see you
speaking of numbers uh the August
9th uh mixtape in LA uh
me and Garrick Bernard
we're back uh it's the uh
the LA showcase of the stars
that's gonna be a good one at the Ledge Theater
uh uh Friday the 9th
should be free and
uh uh the Brandon Jamel show should be free and uh uh the brandon jamelle show is a
podcast and the in-season podcast with rob hayes is a podcast and uh if you saw the back of the uh
jersey it would say hair buds discord the end perfect perfect baby telemundo out
my name is Ian Carmel
at Ian Carmel across all the platforms
TikTok, Instagram, YouTube
X
X bro
thank you again to everyone for buying t-shirt swim club
really appreciate it still available everywhere
you can still get a copy
phenomenal reviews like a 4.3
on Goodreads and speaking of which
go ahead and leave me a good review
on Goodreads and Amazon.
They both help a ton, if you can.
If it gets over 100 reviews on Amazon,
they start like auto-populating it,
which rules.
So give me a review on Goodreads.
Give me a review on Amazon.
Pick up the book.
Get it in the library.
Get the audio book.
Get the hard copy.
Whatever you want.
Sean, have you started reading it yet?
No. I promise you wow you this is what you because you were you were the one who was like the day i get as soon as i get off the plane as soon as my feet touch soil now i feel bad about myself
is that what's happening no that come on is that what we're shooting for? What's happening?
Is that what we want? Trust me. I got it out. I got it
out of the box. So I have two copies.
One's on the bookshelf. One was in the box.
You had a box? Mine was in a bag.
I ordered one.
So I ordered one and then Ian
gave me one. I handed you one
in Portland. You handed me one in Portland. Because I knew I
would see you. I didn't think I was going to see David before.
I got the one out of the box because I was like, if I do this
and I set it on the table,
which if I remember right, the last time I read a book,
that was my process.
So I've started
down the road. I plan on
picking it up today. After this,
it is right there. Because in my mind, I'm like,
I got like five hours
after this before I got to pick Max up. I got a whole day, baby. So in my mind, though, I'm like swimming. I got like five hours after this before I got to pick Max up.
I got a whole day, baby.
So in my mind, though, I'm like, if I read a chapter a day, that's doable.
It'll be done in like two weeks.
You're going to fly through it, babe.
I think I am.
It goes down like a crisp, cool lager.
See, somebody put that as the hundredth review, please.
It goes down like we're at 89 right now on Amazon.
Oh, come on.
11 a.m.
You could do that.
You could do that. We got that. We got that. It goes down like a're at 89 right now on amazon oh come on 11 a.m but you could do that you could do that we got that it goes down like a crisp cool lager let's not get 10 of those because
then i think it's going to get flagged yeah oh sure uh i have nothing live get them don't come
see me i have turned work down that is a express decision made by me
take july baby i feel like we're all kind of taking july you know i'm just kind of i'm just
kind of assessing everything and figuring out what it is i want to do next i do have a stand-up
special coming out sometime in august i don't have the exact date yet um later in august i'm
not going to drop at the same time as David.
Yeah, exactly.
Let David finish out Virgo season.
I need to clear up for a couple weeks.
Or Leo season.
My bad.
Pardon me.
I'm coming in late August.
That's the Virgo.
That's late.
I'm coming in Virgo season.
You know I had to drop during Virgo season.
If you know anything about my stand-up virgo virgo shit it is heavily laden with virgo qualities
analytical minds attention to detail practical approaches to life right right virgo traits
that's how i was like y'all ready for that virgo shit and then i brought in up i didn't even say
his name he floated out.
It's going to be good whenever that comes up.
But follow me on YouTube.
It's going to come out on YouTube.
Probably.
Yeah, the Adam Carolla show
slash YouTube.
That's you, right?
I'm doing the Adam Carolla show.
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Next week.
We were talking about it.
All right.
Well, for God's sake.
Yeah.
Buy T-shirts with him
called Leave a Review.
Ask him if he's in touch with any of the junkies still i i absolutely get up there just you know i'm gonna say i got some questions before you ask me questions i got some questions for you
can you come over and help me fix my roof is one because i know he's got roofing experience
oh yeah and that dude's a handyman. I have no... I would...
Listen, I got a roof guy for you if you need a roof guy.
Oh, yeah. Shout out, Nick.
Will you come all the way out here to Los Angeles?
Nick Salazar at Notorious Roofing.
That ain't even all the way out there.
Yeah, he's all over the country.
I can put you in contact if you want.
I already got a guy doing my roof, unfortunately.
I wish I would have known that. I didn't know he was
worldwide like that. You got an auto body guy?
I need to fix my Lexus.
I got hit at a Dodger game.
Did you?
Last playoffs.
Some guy, just some drunk ass guy.
No way, at a Dodgers game?
I chilled on him because I didn't want him to get a DUI in the fucking parking lot.
But then I lost my fucking insurance claim.
They were just like, ah, we don't believe you.
And I'm like, come on, like ah we don't believe you and i'm like come
on man just don't hit me imagine you're in the parking lot of the dodger stadium they just lost
in the playoffs like they always do and it's take two hours to leave and a dude just drives into the
side of your car going two miles an hour the whole way across i'm on the horn he's still driving
through the side of my shit.
I had to roll down my window and take half my body out
and be like, son, what are you doing?
Damn.
So in a parking lot, notoriously, accidents are no one's fault.
So you probably would have got a DUI
and then you both would have had to pay your own shit anyways.
I didn't know that.
Unless you have full coverage.
Unless you have full coverage. Unless you have full coverage.
Accidents are nobody's fault in the parking lot?
Most of the time.
That sounds like international waters rules.
A lot of those stop signs and shit,
they're like null and void
if it's a parking lot accident.
So a lot of those are just like, not
pointless, but just to
help. Because yeah, in a parking lot
usually they'll say it's no one's
fault or it's like you just got to pay your own shit i believe you what's your source on this
i don't know all right you have any stuff that you we've talked about this there's stuff where
i'm like i think i just know it i would bet i would bet money on that here's another thing
that i think i just know when you see like a dilapidated barn at a farm,
you know, like you'll drive down in the Midwest,
you'll drive, you see a barn that's almost falling down.
They don't tear those down
because in order for insurance to cover it,
they need to naturally collapse.
So that's, I think I know that,
but I have no idea how I know that.
I've also heard that.
That sounds like something I've heard as well.
It feels actually true.
One of those things.
It does feel true.
Holy buckets, man.
Shane, I forget what it was.
Go to Shane's Instagram.
He's got a clip on there.
He pulls a Shane lie on this dude
where he's talking about,
he's dropping knowledge about the needles of record players
like he knows anything about it.
And then like a minute in,
the guy's like, are you serious?
And Shane goes, no, I'm just lying.
Anyway, Shane lies.
They rule.
But yeah, so I'm pretty sure I know that parking lot thing,
but I don't know where the source is, so I could be wrong.
We're drafting grill and songs.
Contact your progressive representative.
Let's get Natalie Palamides on.
She might know.
Or she might know the least
about progressive that anyone in the world
could know. One or two other.
I could see her knowing a lot about it.
She knows a lot of shit.
They made her go to a camp about it.
Yeah, sure.
It was a documentary.
It's like Saving Private Ryan.
They had to go to that boot camp first.
We are drafting songs for grilling.
It is grill season.
It's barbecue season.
It's cookout season.
Whatever you want to call it.
We are in full swing right now.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I like July.
Me is as good as me gets same i grilled extra just my
wife wanted chicken so i just grilled for the two of us the other night that's how i do what i am
right now okay here's my i think i think i'm about to get the blackstone are you talking like you're
gonna pull that trigger yeah let me the more that you grill does it become less of a so i always think about
it you have current day kevin bacon hair right now yeah kevin bacon face right now you got you
look like you got wind tunneled isaac hit him with a screenshot yeah that's are you holding for
so but so grilling seems so daunting to me like the cleanup.
I just think it sucks.
So why brush?
But the more that you grill, does the cleanup become routine?
Sub question.
How long is the cleanup for say grilling for two people?
Couple questions.
Is the cleanup grilling for two people?
How long is it?
And is it different than if you grilled for like 15 people?
Well, yeah, yeah.
Because plates and shit.
But the grill itself.
I'm just talking about the grill.
I'm just talking about the grill.
Just the grill.
You just get it hot.
You just burn all that.
Brother, yeah.
And then one wire brush.
It's the same, baby.
One lemon.
It's the grill itself.
It's easy.
Do you empty?
You got to empty the grill?
Or do they make grills that kind of do that on their own now?
Sometimes you got to empty the grill. Are you going to get to kind of do that on their own now you gotta you gotta are you gonna get a grill probably not after every use okay because that's
just some good that's some seasoning at the bottom yeah you could just hit it you could just you want
to just do some chicken for you and the lady right ian i assume you just fired up popped it on pops
it off is i have a i have a charcoal grill so i just like the charcoals right yeah i got a big
green egg but yeah there's an ash basket at the
bottom that you can empty it out. There's a lot.
You know, it's easy. It's easy.
You don't have to clean it up right away. No, you absolutely
don't. You can deal with that. Those are tomorrow
problems. You can clean it up the next time you
grill. Really?
Yeah. Alright. Okay.
Yeah, no, you'll be fine. Let the ants get off.
You know what I'm saying?
There's a whole people down the street. Maybe I'll go take a look on the way to the river today
you're building
yourself a lot of tasks
you really are
you're not going to do
now you're going to buy a grill
and you're going to go to a swimming hole
I already forgot about reading the book
I got a lot going on
did you forget about reading the book
nah it's on the table I started my process
I think you're going over today
and I definitely don't think you're gonna read
I don't think you're reading word one
of that book dude
I think you're going skateboarding
and then you're gonna call it
that's what I think is gonna happen today
Laura they figured it out
they figured out my lies
that's still a good day
if I could get a bunch of professional skateboarders
to wear different t-shirts with pages
of my book on them maybe you would accidentally
pick it up
oh my god did you
watch whatever that's not
I didn't I was with Dana and I were watching
a movie so I couldn't oh my god when you get a second
anyway watch Twister
oh yeah
are you gonna watch twisters oh yeah
brother oh yeah so i'm gonna get a popcorn how has slid his way into my main guy i think
i think that's my main man right now that dude's been my main man that dude not mine
he hasn't been he had an uphill battle i saw him i mean i forgot that i
hate that guy i forgot that he was in everybody wants him and then i also forgot he was in set
it up or whatever i forgot that was glenn powell and then uh when maverick came out he was such a
good villain with such a tiny mouth that i was like oh but he got under my skin but in the way
he's supposed to because he's the villain and then that new one came out the hitman and i was like, ooh, but he got under my skin but in a way he's supposed to because he's the villain. And then that new one
came out, the Hitman, and I was like, you know, he's my
fucking guy. There's no getting around it.
He's just my guy. And that Sidney
Sweeney joint, he's my guy.
Have you seen Everybody Wants Some?
Yeah, I just watched it. It's on, you can stream it on
Paramount Plus right now. It's so
fucking funny.
The love interest in Hitman.
A comely young lass.
Uh-huh.
Comely?
Comely. A comely
young lass. I'm sorry I got weird.
I'm still
weird because I still don't know what it means.
That's some old world
stuff. I forgot that
was a real word you could say.
It means dank.
It means dank. She's comely.
It means dank.
Drafting grill and songs.
The way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.
Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, David wins an unnatural victory.
Paper against two scissors.
Flying in the face of god
oh david yeah oh yeah oh yeah that's how you play two out of three style david as the winner of rock
paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before
you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that it's a great question
you got seven burgers on the grill you put them all at the same time. You start on the left after, I assume, five minutes. This is me having no knowledge of actually how to grill.
Five minutes. You flip the left. You flip them all in a row till you get all the way to the right.
You let them cook a little longer. Four minutes. And then you flip the right. And then you go all
the way back to the left. You just flip them. And then Jamel's shaking his head and blowing it. And then you wait another 46 minutes.
And then you flip the left.
I'm just kidding on that last one.
But it's like flipping burgers back and forth.
Were you kidding?
Yeah, I was just kidding.
Were you just jodging?
No, I was just joking around.
I will say burgers is the thing I've made the least on a grill.
How long off top?
Three of you.
How long do you cook one burger?
Jamel, go.
to grow how long off top three you how long do you cook one burger jamel go uh i'm gonna say somewhere around uh 12 to 16 minutes ian a little more succinct go
four to five minutes aside and then maybe another like four probably hit it four four and four maybe
four four and three i don't know i like i'm a little pink on the inside still. Yeah, I'll do like
8 on bottom and then put it up
to the top. You know what I mean?
So you get them on bottom, you get like
4, 5 each side, and then you put
it on top with the cheese for a couple
minutes. I grew a hot though.
You grew a hot?
Like you get really mad before you do it?
Did you just try to cuck me?
That felt... Bro,uck me? That felt...
It felt like you called me a pussy.
I don't grill wheat.
I grill hot.
I guess we don't all grill hot.
I ain't crying when I do it.
I love it.
Oh, man.
Not everybody can.
I get that.
That is true, though.
Not everybody can.
That is true.
Not everybody can grill hot.
I had to put on my heat glove the fourth, dude. I was grilling so hot. Is that because of the egg, though, too? Yeah. It grow hot. I had to put on my heat glove at the fourth, dude. I was growing so hot.
Is that because of the egg, though, too?
Yeah. It gets hot. It gets hot in there, dude. Hot.
That's what I thought. Basically,
what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick
first in the second round. Now, David, with that in mind, what would
the order of today's draft be? I gotta
go first, because I got some stuff I gotta take
first.
Sean second, Jamel third, Ian third and fourth hot corner i think second is my favorite place to be i really do thank you before you damn
now you cucked me yeah sorry i'm still reeling from the heat thing i get it
and we're gonna get to that first pick right after this short break.
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Yeah, we're back.
Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything,
the only podcast that has ever existed.
We are about to draft songs for grilling,
a.k.a. grilling songs.
David Borey has the first pick.
David Borey, you were on the clock.
All right, so the first one,
I got a wild list, but I had to get a very traditional,
beautiful grilling song. It's best heard outside,
turned way up. This is one of those songs that I don't think anybody can listen to and not at
least start to sing or dance a little bit. I'm taking Before I Let Go by Maze with Frankie Beverly.
You made me happy
This you can dance Beverly.
Wow.
Let me put a big mark through mine.
Yes.
Come on, man.
It's just, you can't, you can't listen to that outside with the meat going.
It feels so good. Just the first four notes.
Come on.
You make me happy.
And then they just go crazy.
It's too good.
It's too good.
It's the perfect.
If you guys want to take a second to listen so you can see what.
Just listen to 10 seconds of this song.
I mean, I, of course, know what it sounds like off the top of my head.
With the meat on the grill actively.
Yeah.
Yeah. For sure. I'm serious play don't play me out like that it feels it's perfect i don't know exactly how it sounds i have to know the song
don't i that's the thing you don't know exactly oh i know this one beyonce did a version happy
beyonce did a version last year which is almost as good and probably played at the same amount
of barbecues
as the original
I'd say honestly
I just want to play a little bit on this podcast
but I think this
hits on an important point about
grilling music in my opinion
oh yeah it's gotta be
it can't go too hard
that's the thing
it's not a rock and
roll concert you gotta slow cook you gotta slow cook the music i've been marinating something all
morning yes yes i'm in a different mind state yeah it's it's top tier background music i want
the musicians performing this song to be people who would be excited to be at a cookout.
Yes.
People who want to be at a
barbecue. People who would be sitting there eating a
plate and not like, I actually have dietary
restrictions. Right.
I think that's an important...
I love Lady Gaga.
Not making my grilling list. Not at all.
Even though she wore an outfit made out of
meat, it was uncooked.
And that's an award distinction.
Yeah.
Harry Styles,
I love you,
but I can't see you eating a rib.
Right.
Just one man's opinion.
Frankie Beverly,
half ribs.
Always.
Every photo you ever seen,
it seemed like he just licked his fingers.
Who knows what was on those fingers?
Mays.
They probably had some good-ass cookouts in the 70s.
Come on!
Man, Afro cookouts?
Man.
Brown sugar on everything.
So yeah, Frankie.
Here's how deep the barbecue
goes. They were on here's how deep the barbecue goes they were on moo records
come on m-o-o moo records dude that's how these come on
like beef ribs like beef ribs big beef that's a challenge i haven't done beef ribs on the grill
yet that's yeah no i'm not ready no i love it what ready. What are they normally? Pork ribs? Pork, yeah.
What's the huge difference?
I got to be in my 40s.
To get beef ribs going?
Yeah.
I get it.
It is just around the corner, my friend.
It's around the corner.
Sean is trying to hustle me into the 40s before I'm 40.
I want you at the club.
I don't understand what he's doing out here.
Let him live. He's in his 30s. Because it's not like day one of 40. Ian was on X the other day. I don't understand what he's doing out here.
It's not like day one of 40.
Ian was on X the other day talking about how he's in his late 30s.
I was like, just come on in.
I'm in my late 30s.
I was being accurate.
I am literally in my late 30s.
You're sitting here talking to me dressed like you're a fucking eight-year-old on spring break.
Talking about obscuring someone's age.
The helicopter fell off the top of my hat.
Yeah, what is it?
Fucking Oshkosh B'gosh
XXL t-shirt?
You do, you do.
I'm going to have a...
You just dropped a snow cone.
I can't...
I'm going to have a fudgicle
after this and cover up
and watch the Mickey Mouse Club.
You call it a fudgicle?
A fudgicle?
Is that a diarrhea?
We used to call them fudgicles.
I like...
I do like that.
Yeah.
They don't make those anymore, right? Fudgicles they do they do yeah i remember it was just like frozen chocolate
milk and pudding and i was like this is wild ed they're amazing still yeah absolutely yeah
they were great you know they're like on the healthier side for you they're not healthy but
as far as like a dessert goes but like like better than a Snickers or something?
For sure.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was Safeway.com.
Yeah.
Swear I do all my groceries.
Yeah.
Easy on me.
I'm the officer.
Oh, you guys.
We need a mixer before we smoke all this weed.
Let me go to Safeway.com and pick one up.
That was almost Jamel's email, Adrian. safeway.com and pick one up that was almost jamal's email
even that early telemundo at safeway.com oh man that's sick uh that's a great song
great first pick sean jordan time for your first pick so uh i gotta be honest the first
one that popped into my head was summer Madness You guys know Summer Madness?
Of course
Summer Madness, if you don't know
It's what they sampled for
Summertime
It's in the background
It's mellow and slow
But it's got such a good
So after like the
Wee Wee mellow and slow, but it's got such a good... After the...
After all those, when it just
kicks in, it's just
real mellow. If it was loud enough,
I really, really think it would be fun
to cook to.
You want to dance. You don't want to dance,
but you want to dance.
You want to sway.
We're going to be dancing a little bit later in my draft, but for this one, dance. You don't want to dance. No, you want to dance. You want to sway. I do.
We're going to be dancing a little bit later in my draft.
But for this one, it's just like, yes. I'm thinking like
I got a 40.
I'm slow sipping. It just seems
fun to me. It's something that takes a while to cook
for this song.
Not like hot dogs or anything. Whatever.
It takes a while to cook. but it's like I'm there
for a minute and I'm like and I'm by the
grill. I'm by the grill. I'm not like
walking around like I'm at the grill. Oh, you're by the grill.
Yeah, I assume. That's kind of
what these are like. We're by the grill for
an hour. Yeah, you're on the grill. You're on
the grill. You and your Rottweilers there.
Yeah, I got a couple
now. Your Rottweiler is also named Sean
for some reason. Yeah.
They know commands like Shug Nights and Straight Outta Compton
where I can just say something and they sit down.
You're like, Damu! And it bites.
You can speak to him in Dutch.
Summer Madness by Kool and the Gang.
Summer Madness.
It's such a...
I'll play it sometimes just when it's hot out,
but I'm inside. It's just such a good, play it sometimes just when it's hot out, but I'm inside.
It's just such a good,
mellow, summer-ass song.
I love it.
If you haven't heard it
or taken the time
to listen to that song ever,
because I don't think
a lot of people have.
Maybe I'm being crazy,
but it's a great song.
Yeah, I think people
will have heard this.
They are, but...
The gang's pretty popular.
I could see a lot of people not having listened to the song.
I almost was going to be like, Sean, you're wrong.
But then I remembered I'm the only guy still riding around to terrestrial radio.
That's true.
You are the only one.
Yeah, I can't act like you're not wrong about that.
Because I'm the one who's hearing Summer Madness every day.
I hear it a lot.
I mean, I play it a lot. It's a good song.
It's been hitting on TikTok too.
Is it on TikTok?
The kids are putting it in some videos.
It's starting to come around.
Man, I missed it.
Completely missed TikTok.
I tried. It's just...
I missed it. Cool the gang is the last tape i bought
really yeah shit is their greatest hits i love that song ladies night i was a big disco kid
doing coke on the way to football yeah i'm a disco kid this was almost pre-football
This was almost pre-football.
I love disco and I love that song.
Get down on it too.
Come on, man.
Cool the game.
That's my little brother's song.
You know what's crazy?
Cool could walk in here right now on this podcast.
I would not recognize it.
And that's a shame.
That's a shame.
I know there's two brothers in the group.
I think it's like one of the brothers is cool and then one of the I know two brothers
brother but yeah I don't know it's like how
there's twins in the whispers
I wouldn't know a lot
of people there was
enough and the gang that I bet
they didn't all I bet they're not all rich
what if there's always a
what if there's always a cool like they rotate
it's like the pope or what if one of the guys
in the gang was actually the only one who put his money away?
What if it goes the other way?
Oh, he just started buying, he just owns all the McDonald's in Fort Worth.
Yeah.
And cool is like, what the fuck, man?
Yeah, I'm cool.
It's me.
Oh yeah, we're all buying cocaine.
Man, we all spent so much money in Dallas yesterday that was nuts
yeah cool the gang did
yeah great great thing
uh Jamel time for your first pick
uh I I was
okay
I needed a white one
what's whiter than the average white band?
Oh, baby.
Schoolboy Crush.
Excuse me?
A little.
And like, there's some other options that they have.
I don't know what song this is.
But Schoolboy Crush is like, first off, it's the sample from, it's a rock him.
It's a rock him it's uh uh you know the vibes
and it's it's like a little more deterrent it's smooth but it's like i'm i feel the mission
of it it's it's like got a little energy yeah it's like yeah i am about to dominate this grill space
little energy yeah it's like yeah i am about to dominate this grill space it's a sexy smooth it's a sexy confidence move this is gonna be a fun summer playlist by the end of this
in the average white band's logo the w is a butt exactly see once again it's a little ass in it
yeah got a little ass in it from the album cut the cake that i was familiar with uh
amazing oh it is a butt. You can see the hair
on the top of the head.
It's a big butt.
It's super a butt.
That's right.
Look at that.
Come on, man.
See that?
Average white butt.
It's just enough funk
with a little dunk.
I love it.
I think that's a great pick.
Why did the 70s
bring us so much good grill music?
What was in the air?
What was going on?
I think it was one of our
true great periods as a country.
I think the cocaine was unprocessed.
Yeah.
But I also don't think it was like,
was it all the way in?
Yeah, I guess it was all the way in.
It was in, baby. It was all the way in. It was in, baby.
It was all the way in.
We weren't in a war, right?
It was Vietnam.
When was the Korean War?
Coming off in the 50s.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
So we were out of Vietnam.
Coming off the end of both of those, yeah.
Everybody was in a good mood.
Like, free love is all brand new.
They were letting black people be on TV.
A lot.
Black people on TV.
A lot.
Like, for fun.
Not because some shit went down. For for fun not because some shit went down like we was just
not because of shit went down and that was the beginning of like women's rights and all that i
feel like people were just having fun well i think the 60s was so serious maybe too yeah that people
were like maybe we just chill and we just grill a little bit i guess Start smashing. A lot of sex, too. That was the 60s.
70s, too, right?
Am I insane?
It bled in.
I have to imagine it bled in.
It probably bled in.
I mean, people have been having sex the whole time.
No, they haven't.
They just started having sex in the 60s.
This is the least sexual time.
But when you're thinking of free love,
you're thinking of the late 60s.
Okay.
Well, I'm just thinking post-Vietnam, I guess.
So maybe I'm... Reasonably priced love the 70s yeah yeah free love and the reason and then in the 80s it got expensive we had some money it's 75 i don't know it's interesting
it's there was an interesting every band is like you know 15 black dudes remember
it was all like 15 black dudes and they all
they all had the sparkly jumpsuits
every man had four trumpets
it was just
it was the black
ska era
pick it up pick it up
yeah no 70s
it's a lot of great stuff
going on it's just yeah 70s music and a grilled chicken leg
oh yeah yeah it didn't feel like a bummer like the 80s culture
hey you didn't know what was bad for you you could put aluminum foil on a grill in the 70s
come on and you was like this is i'm the space. Yeah, I'm smoking on a plane.
I'm about to go to this cookout.
I'm going to wrap everything in foil.
There is something to that, though.
Like, less health conscious,
less of that weighing you down.
There's something to be said about it.
Yeah.
Everybody's smoking cigarettes inside.
Yeah.
People's teeth aren't that white yet.
No, yeah.
People's teeth.
People look... There's not like white yet? No, yeah. People's teeth, people like, people look,
there's not like a skincare regimen, really.
Like people, 30 year olds look 50.
That's how you know they're 50.
That's what I like.
Barbecue food is good because 30 year olds look 50.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And if you're a history buff, do us a favor and don't reach out.
Don't reach out. Just let it live in the space
keep it to yourself
that goes double for my wife
I didn't mean that Dana
I did not mean Dana in that
I don't want to be implicated
David is clearly calling out my history buff
wife Dana Schwartz
I don't think she would know shit about that era
well she would know like basic stuff because she's smarter than all of us.
But time for my first pick.
And I'm going to keep it.
I'm going to keep it in the white corner.
Okay.
In fact, doesn't get much wider than this or more laid back.
I'm taking I Keep Forgetting by Michael McDonald.
Oh, yeah. That's great. not in love anymore. I keep forgetting things will never be the same again.
Oh, that's a great outside
song. Regulators?
It's the Regulators sample. A lot
of these are samples. Because that's what,
you know, grilling is.
They grew up. Yeah, it is.
Let me go ahead and sample some of this. I'm going to
sample some of that.
I keep forgetting we're not in love anymore
things will never be the same again and i mean let's be honest that's barely the white corn
barely that's true it does it does get whiter than that
that's like a song a lot of people don't know is sung by a white guy.
And then you see him, and he looks like Sam Elliott ate Sam Elliott.
He's amazing.
He looks like Father Time is on vacation or something.
Michael McDonald, what an amazing human being.
Yeah.
Also, I like the song.
Like, it starts out, and especially if you're R-age, you'll hear it.
You'll hear that regulator sample, and you're almost like, oh, would I rather be hearing regulators right now?
And then he hits that part of the song where he's like, every time we're new.
Yeah.
Every time we're down, down, down.
And you're like, oh, no, no.
This flies with its own wings.
We're all right.
I'm glad we're here.
I'm glad we're here. Yeah. Next thing you know, you're crying in no no this this flies with its own wings we're all right glad we're here yeah next thing you know you're crying in the car yeah it's good it's good it is it's emotional it's emotional and if it brings up those feelings
you can immediately treat them with fucking kielbasa you know because you're on the grill
you're not you're not crying you got grill smoke in your eye let me put the pain in this meat really quick it's a secret ingredient man that's that's
like a dad motto right there yeah let me put the pain in this meat real quick
that's your next book backyard pain club putting the pain in the meat yeah
your deadlift in society yeah that's a great pick
i feel good about that one time for my second pick
oh okay i'm going cisco kid by war Cisco Kid by War. Cisco Kid was a friend of mine.
Ooh.
Damn.
He drunk whiskey, but drunk the wine.
It's fucking, it chugs along.
It makes you want to chug along.
And by that, I mean, crack open a drink and have some of that.
It celebrates drinking.
It's got a little like I don't know again
bathed in that like orange
70s glow
oh here we go Sean's hearing it you know that one
yeah you know that you gotta know that one
it's funny how much I don't know the names
to a lot of songs
yeah it's got weird sounds
in it that you can't quite locate it's like that's like a song that
like i feel like as a kid some old person some old drunk person at a barbecue tried to explain
to me how good it was yeah you're like all right shut up like stop running around just listen
you smell your breath smells like beer so bad in a way that's going to make me not like beer until my 30s.
Oh, brother, I had quite the opposite effect.
That was a fun time to smell it.
Unfortunately, me too.
That's it.
I was like, all these fun adults smell like alcohol and beer.
Yeah, it must be great.
Beer specifically.
That beer breath specifically, though.
Yeah, dude.
Cisco Kid by War.
You don't really got to know the words?
No.
You just need to know every tenth word.
Yep.
Rio Grande.
Yeah.
You know to go to the Rio Grande.
I don't need to know shit else.
I don't know shit else.
How'd they get there?
It's got that chunka-chunka, chunka chunk a chunk a chunk a chunk a chunk a chunk a sound to it that lets you you know you can like
lean back and forth walk over the cooler pop it open grab a beer walk back kick the cooler close
with your heel you can substitute with grill sounds too like if you don't the lyrics you're
like oh god damn look at that and then just kind of kick into the lyrics again there you go yeah
pick pick the steak up like oh yeah and then sing a lyric the end kind of kick into the lyrics again. There you go. Yeah. Pick the steak up like, oh, yeah. And then sing a lyric.
The end kind of sounds like
the meat is done at the end
when they're like,
ah.
Yeah.
Oh,
man.
Yeah.
Come out with a big tray.
Yeah.
Oh,
I love when that tray hits the table.
Because you see him building the house.
Yeah.
Oh, God, when they get there, got some pattiesies on top got some chicken on top of that you know where do you guys stand on come get it or let me
bring it to you on the grill i like building the meat tray and then having it all come out
because sometimes it's like for the griller i feel like it's hard if it's just like when it's like for the griller, I feel like it's hard if it's just like when it's made to order, you're like, damn, this guy's just got, you know what I mean?
I got two burgers.
Now it's like a job.
Like, let my man enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Yeah.
And there's something to that about building.
Yeah.
Like you build something nice to look at.
You bring it all over and set it on the table and be like, look at what I cooked.
I built it.
I organized it.
Here's everything.
It's stacked up.
Whole plate's the same color.
Three different meats.
Yeah.
I love it.
My first time grilling.
On the fourth, I had people showing up and staggered where I was on the grill for a long
time with the burgers.
I'm like, it'd be great if you were all here.
That's the tough thing.
You make a bunch of burgers,
a bunch of sausages,
and let them weed through it.
That made the order thing.
It's just hard for you.
It's harder for you.
I just don't want to leave a bunch of cold burgers.
It seems crazy to me.
When people check on something,
when they come over like,
hey, how's my kebab looking?
You're like, stop with that.
I will fuck you up.
It seems, it's rude.bab looking? You're like, stop with that. I will fuck you up. It seems it's rude.
I know you bring your own shit,
but like when I go to a barbecue, I bring.
Oh, you mean when they bring their own meat to put on?
Well, yeah, yeah.
I thought that's what we were talking about.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't.
I don't.
So what would happen?
Let me.
I don't entertain such things.
So let's say someone rolled up.
Oh, man, this is so loaded.
I wonder the level of friendship, because if I rolled up with my own meat, you gently
be like, man, I got stuff.
But I wouldn't.
I wouldn't do that because I would know before I got there.
I think you got to call ahead.
What if?
I mean, sometimes I will say because i also grill a lot yeah depending on who you're
grilling with sometimes we do have meat come in part and parcel where it's like i'm bringing
burgers i'm bringing dogs i'm bringing the we do do that so did you ever did you get to those
meats i left at your house that one time brother you think i didn't get to the knees i left about
the steaks at his crib one of the last times I was out there.
Yeah, it was me and Melba that weekend.
But what if somebody brings something
like they bring, it's me and my wife,
I bring two chicken kebabs, two baked
potatoes. What was that first word?
Two chicken kebabs. I've had that happen
before, plenty. You better eat that
potato raw. They brought
chicken kebabs for themselves
just to? I've seen that.
Get the fuck out of my house.
I've done that. I've done that before.
You've done that?
I have. Yeah, yeah. You brought two chicken
kebabs? This had to be in South Dakota,
dog. It's been a while. You didn't do this
on the coast. You didn't do this
on the coast, man. Because we, for a while,
I think, and maybe they'll let me know if I'm wrong, but we were all kind of broke,. You didn't do this on the coast. Because we, for a while, I think, and maybe they'll let me
know if I'm wrong, but we were
all kind of broke, so we wouldn't
just buy the whole thing.
We'd be like, alright, we're all going to bring our own shit.
We'd go to the store, get all of our shit. We'd all show
up to the place together, but we'd all have
different stuff. So we'd all put it on the grill
at the same time.
But there wouldn't be one cook. It was all dudes, right?
We would all kind of cook it, too. It's all dudes, right? We would all kind of cook it too.
It's all dudes though, right?
There's no women involved in this.
Not for a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I would be shocked
if any hoes allowed this.
The whole thought process
was all dudes.
I thought you were describing
a situation where people
were having a barbecue
and you rolled through
with just like...
Got my chicken kebab
just too for me.
No.
I never could do that i have brought
food to a barbecue where i was like i don't want any of that i have brought a couple times i brought
like taco bell which is crazy and i hate saying it out loud but i've done it i mean people do that
it's kind of cool at a party sometimes they deserve the honesty you know at a barbecue it
is kind of different than like a house party right it's like the it's kind of different than like a house party. Right. It's like it's kind of disrespectful to the guy who's like
oh, so fuck this chicken I've been
spritzing down every 45 seconds.
I wouldn't dream of doing it.
Go eat it in your car.
I would. If I was
like dying to eat, I'd eat on the way. There's no
way I'd show anyone food.
Those are my two songs.
Jamel, tell me your second pick.
Okay. I'm trying to hit all of the decades. those are my two songs Jamel's having a second pick okay
I'm trying to hit all of the decades
so
my next
I'm going to jump ahead Thug Passion
Tupac
I heard it's the bomb
and you got it going on
give me some of your Thug
Passion
baby
I heard that it's the bomb Give me some of your thug passion, baby. Ha!
Ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
I heard that it's the bomb.
Give me some of that thug passion, baby.
Come on, I'm putting barbecue sauce on something.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
You got me dripping wet.
From the way you make me sweat.
Give me some of that thug passion
This is for the hood barbecue
There's a different kind of
You play schoolboy crush
I just graduated high school
You know my aunts and them is in here
Thug passion
Your aunts are on site
This is the dust
I'm with my one bad aunt
Who has not left
Yes she's smoking
cigarettes? Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good. This is like
when people are kind of drunk.
Yeah.
This is the end of you. Yeah, yeah!
Let me fire
it up one more time.
Yeah, you've turned it back on.
I've done that. It's always like a weird move. Sure. You've turned it back on. I've done that.
It's always like a weird move.
Sure. You're always like, damn,
okay, it is 11pm.
The grill's back on.
And I just put a fucking...
I'm trying to figure out how to do short ribs.
I got a Totino's pizza on the grill.
Yeah, are we?
I think we got some chimichangas
in the freezer
and my aunt is doing the fucking
Tootsie Roll
we got a tinfoil ball
full of soup
on the oven
no no we can do the horn
just keep it in the can
keep it in the can
grill it whatever
that's amazing yeah that's great that's great that's a great there's a dc
version there's a go-go version everybody loves back home it's i was wondering about if the go-go
tapes were gonna make that has to make it in oh for sure yeah yeah i've got some yeah no we got
some other stuff planned oh man yeah that's right it's a lot of seafood is in the dmv is there more seafood on the grill
than because out in oregon every now and then you would if you were grilling salmon you would
do salmon but it wouldn't usually be salmon and other things yes well you know what we're not
honestly it's like if you're really balling it's all it's whatever you want but you get the crabs you're steaming
the crabs and then you're grilling
it's burgers and dogs
and then we got some steamed crabs
on the side next to the burgers and dogs
there you go
ask and answer
classic turps
growing up some turtles
I just bring in
an alive turtle
put it on
that seems like some shit Sean might do now
based off everything I've heard
on this episode
I don't like seafood but here's an alive turtle
bring in a turtle and some queso dip
Sean your second pick
it just cut its head off with scissors
oh
Jesus Christ
I know sorry so
second pick still keeping it mellow
but Lovely Day by Bill Withers
a lovely day
lovely day
lovely day
oh yeah
lovely day lovely day it's a lovely lovely day Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Lovely day.
Lovely day.
It's a lovely,
lovely day.
Lovely day.
I don't know.
You're singing the TWDY,
I think.
That's the one I would have gone with.
The president did what?
Who called him?
Who called him?
You know that song, Lovely day, lovely. It's a lovely day. It's song lovely day lovely it's a lovely day it's a lovely day it's a lovely day
I think it's gonna be
a lovely
it's a
oh sorry for fucking it up so bad
yeah
you shouldn't be starting to fuck it up so bad
sorry I wrecked the song by doing that I apologize
you're the one who drafted it you're're coming out, you're getting the lyrics
wrong. Everybody
yeah, yeah.
There it is. We heard it.
We heard it twice for sure
on tour in the car. It just came up.
And then it's been coming up.
It just feels like a song I've been hearing a lot
lately. I mean, we listened to the TWD
one.
Or it just came up. Or it just came up. It was not to the TWDY one. Yeah, the whole damn day. On tour, too.
Or it just came up.
Or it just came up. It was not the Bill Withers one.
I don't think we heard the Bill Withers one on tour.
You know what I'm talking about.
President what?
You got rid of the Platterheaders, too?
I'm talking about the goddamn Bill Withers one.
Because that's the one I picked.
So that's the goddamn one I'm talking about.
But anyway, I feel like the Bill Withers one, Underline, has come up for me quite a bit recently.
Maybe not in the car on tour.
But anyway, it's just a dope song.
It'd be fun to grill to.
In my version of how I'm getting into grilling, I'm listening to that.
Still got a 40 for this one.
Still got a 40.
It's dripping.
It's like, yeah, a lot of condensation on the outside of this 40.
It's not a job, this 40.
It's for enjoyment.
I used to treat them like a job. Now that I got a grill, it's more like
a sipping. Not worried about finishing
it or not. I got enough money.
A 32.
I was going to say, the problem with a sipping a 40 is
after a while, it's
hard to keep them cold.
I can get rid of the...
If there's a third left, I'm fine
with not... It used to be a point of pride. I have to a third left, I'm fine with not...
It used to be a point of pride.
I have to finish it.
Now I'll just dump it out
and grab another one
because the whole fridge is full.
But doesn't that...
Doesn't that end up...
You know what?
Fine.
I don't know what I'm trying to do.
I don't know.
Why am I trying to be a sourpuss?
They make 24s,
but I want a 40.
The 32s,
I don't even know if those exist.
They still make 32s, right? I don't know. 32s for sure, but I want a 40. The 32s, I don't even know if those exist. They still make 32s, right?
I don't know.
32s for sure, but maybe not old English.
But 32s are always Miller Highline.
Yeah, 32s are always beer.
Like regular beer.
You know, like Budweiser and shit.
I haven't had an old English in...
It's been such a long time.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good for all of us. It's good.
I remember it was like
Steven Wilber was there.
Ian, our AC was out.
We all got 40s one day.
Six weeks ago.
Max here was in daycare again.
The AC was out, so we drove around
in the Miracle Whip for like an hour
just to drive around LA just to cool off.
We stopped and got 40s and went back to the house and
watched basketball, maybe?
That sounds like a lovely day.
Anyway, lovely day. Either
version. You take your pick.
You go nuts. It's your barbecue.
No, you don't get one, dude.
I will be taking the TWDY.
Then play the bill with it.
That'd be my pick, too.
Just because on account of what the president did.
The president did what?
And that rise and shine, make you want to say.
It feels good not to cry no more.
Mama used to put our clothes on layaway when it drops out there for a second.
It's just the claps.
It's great.
It's great.
You look at how many streams these
songs have. That's 6,698
million streams on Spotify.
Atta babe. Yeah, it's fun.
David, time for your second and third picks.
Alright, I could have gone R&B
all day. We know
it. R&B
outside. It's the official
grillin' music.
I gotta spread it around a little bit
so this is one this one is specifically here's i'm grilling it's early this is early part right
this is like this song is playing as everybody's coming yeah like the people you're happy to see
showing up and i'm on there and they're like they like they greet they greet whoever at the front and they're like where's
David at oh he's on the grill
and then everybody goes and says their highs you know what I mean
and I'm on the grill
and I'm listening to
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen
oh there he goes
come on
that song is great!
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And I'm going down.
It is such a good one, man.
Loud?
It is.
Loud?
Because I've talked about it on this podcast.
I love the boss.
Yeah.
Oh, the boss rules, dude.
I love the boss.
So, like, yeah.
And it was like, the other one, kind of the
other ones I was looking at, like, you know,
Born to Run, that's like not the right, you know
what I mean? No. Glory Days
is the backyard.
That's a good vibe. Sounds like summertime, man.
It's also, the lyrics are great
if you dig into it, you know, just sitting around
bullshitting. I was sitting at a bar,
like, somebody came in that he went to high school
with, they just start grabbing drink before,
you know,
we were talking about glory days.
What is a barbecue?
If not talking about your glory days,
that's what he used to throw the speedball like anything.
Wasn't that him?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here,
I got it right.
He could throw the speedball,
but yeah.
Make you look like a fool boy.
Yeah.
So on the other night at the roadside bar,
I was walking in.
He was walking out.
We went back inside, sat down, had a few drinks.
But all he kept talking about was glory days.
And then you're like, Rick, you remember the time you got caught stealing those jeans?
Glory days, baby.
I didn't even know that shit was like that was an option
until I started doing comedy
I never would have put
Bruce on at a party
no me either but now I'm in
now we all hey listen
you haven't even heard my next pick
I'm really gonna go crazy
alright well let's hear it
so this is like the is like the barbecue is in full swing but now the
attention is off the grill you know i mean i'm still maintaining it i'm kind of introspective
now you know what i mean it's just me my grill my meats my smoke and you get maybe a little
melancholy not in a bad way but just a little melancholy
i'm taking david allen cole you never even called me by my name
david allen co yeah co sorry is that cool you never you know this wait a minute slow down David Allen Coe? Yeah, Coe. Sorry, I said Coe. You never... You know the song.
Wait a minute.
Slow Down Country,
like that,
that old school is
the best at a fucking barbecue, dude.
Come on, we're outside.
We're outside.
It's like the rhythm is slow enough
that people could dance.
They don't even realize
it's a small sad song.
I played it for me.
Yeah.
This is sitting around after this is
like you just put you played all 48 minutes fucking coach tibbs had you on the court on the grill
you put in a tip shift on the grill you're finally sitting down
you got a towel draped over your neck and then this song comes on
yeah and you're kind of sad because it'll now be
the longest amount of time until the next barbecue yeah you're kind of sad but it's okay like anything
it's like anything you know what i mean like because you know with barbecue and i don't know
about for you guys but for me like so many other things i'm so much more excited the two days
before the barbecue me too dude i can't i stay up but i literally lay
in bed at night thinking about the menu you're doing checklists yes trip to the store yeah
shout out to everybody at the eagle rock vons i when i step into that eagle rock bonds let me tell
you what happened the last time i went to the eagle rock bonds i had so much i saved so much
money the cashier was like wow see this lady was like legit impressed
she was like damn you just got 40 off all these meats I've been waiting I've been waiting for
this moment I love it I put my clothes out like the first day of school before a barbecue oh yeah
you can really work the fucking meat
discounts too if you keep an eye on those uh yeah yeah you really can five dollars off a fifty
dollar purchase but also four dollars off a twenty dollar meat department purchase yeah also six
dollars off produce i get all my bell peppers, my onions. Come on.
Sean, you got to get a grill, dude.
You got to get a grill.
We need it for you.
It's everything you like doing.
You're a provider and you get to provide meat.
You know what's tight?
You get to buy shit.
There's so many little accoutrements and meats and deals and all that stuff.
You would love it, dude.
I do get to buy it.
That is fun. I do like buying shit. Our our neighbor too he sometimes he's just like chilling in the
back and he'll like he'll just come out he's like he'll give maxine presents and stuff our back
neighbor that we share a yard with be so fun to be grilling and be like dog what's up what do you
want you want it you want a dog you want a burger just hook him up that'd be fun yeah come on over
i make him hop the fence, though.
No, I don't go around the...
Hop the fence.
I know you're 75.
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
Hop the fence.
Earn your burger, bud.
Dave Allen Coe, though.
Some of that spare...
It's just like hickory smoke, man.
You just want it in the air sometimes.
Come on.
Come on.
Sean Jordan, time for your third pick.
This same thing.
This came on the radio yesterday.
It wasn't on my list, but as soon as I heard it uh it was
it was on my list uh Ride With Me by
Nelly
it would be a fun
grilling song because I was driving around and...
Like, it was...
I don't know.
I didn't...
You want to...
I don't know.
Like, what's a...
Where's the line from, like, grillin' to partying?
That's what I...
I want it.
You want to toe that line because I don't want to...
I think it's right in the middle.
Yeah.
So, that...
Because Ride With Me was a hit.
Not a hit dance song.
No.
It's just a fun...
Like, it just gets you going. And it just puts you in a good mood. But it's also got fun like it just gets you going and it may it just puts you
in a good mood but it's also got to be nice out that's one of those songs and like ian and i've
talked about this i have songs that i couldn't listen to on the way to work because i just like
i'm going to work i don't want to listen to a dope song this song i can't listen to if it's
shitty out because it's just such a good weather song so i wonder why I must you feel this way. Yeah, dude.
My favorite song off that album for days.
Just me and my Rottweilers.
Think about every artist
we've mentioned.
They all have their own
individual barbecue playlist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could do a whole
Dave and Alan Co
barbecue, I bet. Oh, yeah. I know you could do a whole David Allen Co. barbecue
I bet
I know you could do a whole Nelly
they play it at Buster's
there's this barbecue joint in Portland called Buster's
they play that David Allen Co. shit like crazy
it's like a country ass
cowboy barbecue spot
it is sick
I like it, I put it on EI for your ass
for your nasty ass
yeah, yeah underlay sick i only go there i like it i like it i put on ei for your aunt for your nasty but no that's a great that that song it feels like it feels man everybody loves that song
yeah i'll be on the next flight paying cash.
First class sitting next to Vanna White.
Come on, if you want to come and take a ride with me.
What does he say?
We three willing in the...
What's he saying?
We three willing...
I don't fucking remember.
Three willing in the ride with the gold cheese, it sounds like.
But that ain't it.
Probably goldies.
With the goldies.
Maybe some babies.
Oh, why do I live this way?
Must be the way way I just remember
tickets to the next show
you for real
very good
thank you buddy
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Jamel, time for your third pick. this is tough uh an 80s barbecue song because this is
kind of my most of my essence is 80s barbecue music yeah it's really it's really tough to just
pick one and w and w nba jerseys yeah you know what i'm saying like and w nba jerseys i you know
what fuck okay uh love come down by uh evelyn champagne king and WNBA jerseys. You know what? Fuck it. Okay. Love Come Down by Evelyn Champagne King.
Ooh.
Come on.
This is kind of a song dedicated to the meat itself.
Yeah.
I'm trying to coax it.
I'm trying to get it to act right.
I just can't
help the way that I feel.
I can't help it, man. Come on.
Now I am dancing
at the grill. This is
maximum uncle
mode. My uncle meter
is fully charged.
Yeah.
And I'm about to do an uncle super.
You're flipping this bachelor a little bit.
An uncle air to air.
Yeah. An uncle air
combo is coming.
I'm smoking weed. I got a J lid.
I'm at the thing. I open
it up. The dogs are almost ready.
I'm partying.
You guys can turn into a microphone realying. You got a Kangol on.
I have a Kangol on.
I'm acting a little different.
I'm wearing a lot of tan, a lot of golden tan,
and linen-y, a lot of linen.
You might got a bracelet on.
I'm dressed just like Mando.
Shout out to Mando.
I got leather sandals on.
Shout out to Mando, man.
I'm Mando'd out.
I'm fully Mando'd out, top to bottom.
Yeah.
Kangol, something silky,
breathable.
What, like a silk apron? Like...
Says nice to meet you.
I'm naked with a do-rag on.
That's a great one.
I think that's the top one.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I apologize to Force MDs. You guys almost got it but i think it
has i apologize to bobby brown you were disrespected and with my pick here but no he would even i gotta
go he would like that he picked up exactly oh man jamel you just said bobby brown oh no oh no so
that song is like how i feel in my head a lot just yeah you know what i mean that's like how I feel in my head a lot. Just that, you know what I mean?
That's like how I,
like when I'm moving around and I feel good,
it's like,
I've noticed lately,
it's like not even,
I kind of think I might like R&B more than rap at this phase of my life.
I find myself challenged to like,
listen to rap as much.
I love it.
I love the gym. I love the gym.
I still like it,
but I'm like,
I'm finding myself in many,
like just an R&B mood way more often.
Well,
they're speaking a different language now,
you know?
Yeah.
When I hit the bike,
I put on,
I go to title.
I put on like a,
like a,
like a, like the other day I did that,
but no,
I don't want to say pigs.
Yeah.
Take it easy.
When I was running that half marathon marathon when I was training for that
mostly R&B
was on the
that was a while ago too
yeah
I was in R&B
before I could admit it to like my
friends they you know
I couldn't be like
I love SWV
or silk or whatever.
I remember in ninth grade talking to this kid,
and he was talking about how much he loved that song Peaches and Cream.
And I made fun of him ruthlessly.
But in my heart, I knew that I also loved Peaches and Cream.
And Anywhere.
That Anywhere song?
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
I downloaded Anywhere on Apple like 10 times. So's not a barbecue song, so I think we could talk about it.
You can't. That's not right.
That would be fucked up.
Like, I got my kids here.
What are you?
Certain kind of barbecue.
But yeah, yeah.
Great pick.
No, sorry.
Love Come Down.
Love Come Down.
There you go.
Shout out, David pick great pick yourself
that was dang
man now there's too many
it's hard
it's hard to narrow it down
alright I want to talk about
a I smoke
I smoke meat
you know what I mean
I spent six hours on you know on those ribs
the other night i made ribs the other night that's a six hour process for me so that usually involves
if people are coming over at like you know five three two one i do the three two one okay yeah
although slightly modified i think i find you can do the last.
Also, you know, if you do the 3-2-1,
you don't even have to finish them on the grill.
That's what I've seen.
I've only done 3-2-1 a few times,
but I've seen that online.
For those of us who don't own a grill just yet,
what's a 3-2-1?
It is a method for making ribs
where you want to smoke them for three hours.
Okay.
Usually at around 250 to 275.
And that's when you get your smoke in them.
And then you wrap them in foil.
And I like to do a honey, butter.
Do you put brown sugar on there?
Yeah, brown sugar, honey, and butter.
Meat side down, put them back on, and then it cooks in that.
And then you can kind of take them off.
Honestly, at the wrap phase, you can put them in an oven because no more smoke is getting in there.
You can regulate the heat a little bit more and you can get into doing other stuff on the grill.
But there's this part of it I like.
Or if I'm doing like a pork shoulder where I'm going to be smoking for like eight hours where you're up early.
You got like a cup of black coffee. It's 8am. You know, you're getting the fire going. So you get
that smell. You got your coffee. It's early. The birds are chirping. It's still kind of cool.
And when I'm in that mood, I like putting on like early blues music. Okay. Cause I like feeling
like sort of connected to that. Like, I don't know, just that
tradition of barbecue.
So I'm picking Smokestack
Lightning.
Oh, Smokestack Lightning
Shining
just like gold
Don't you hear me cry
Come on, let's go.
Early in the morning?
Early in the morning by Howlin' Wolf.
You got to have some honey around if you're going to play some Howlin' Wolf.
Absolutely.
You know how I feel.
Got to have some honey around.
Got to have some honey around.
With the butter and the brown sugar, too.
That guy sounds like, and no offense if this is going to sound vulgar, that guy sounds like he's going to fuck your girlfriend.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He sounds like the devil's going to fuck your girlfriend oh yeah oh yeah he sounds like the
devil's gonna fuck your girlfriend yeah it's crazy yeah such a good song so good is that oh
i think they use it a lot now in like uh cialis commercials or whatever but i don't care
it gets my meat going too if it's good enough to get your meat If it's good enough to get your meat going, it's good enough to get my meat going.
So I like that song,
Smokestack Lightning by Helen.
Just early.
It's not too loud.
It's just for me.
I'm not playing it when other people are over.
I have like a whole playlist for the early part of the barbecue
where it's just like early country,
early blues kind of stuff.
If you're going to smoke stuff,
because you have a great yard for it.
You're secluded in the back.
Do you just kind of have the music
playing for six hours?
Do you just kind of leave some music on outside?
No, I turn it off.
You want it to be out there.
Well, I mean, just like mellow, like low, low.
You probably hang out outside a little bit here and there
when you're doing it.
If I'm out there, there's music
playing, but there isn't the whole time.
I'm thinking about
we have these lights that play.
Why don't I have a fucking grill? We have lights
out there that I control. I can do the color and
flashes. They play music. I just pick
music they play from like a little speaker on the lights.
It's just set up to have a grill. There's patio
furniture. You got speaker lights and you're not making
meat? You got your priorities fucked up, man straight up you need to get on this you need
to hear from friends yeah you gotta you gotta get i mean max max ain't going to college for
15 years and she's getting a scholarship when she goes i might as well dip into the fund i don't see
any reason not and usd is a cheap school so So I've said she's going to go finish what I started.
So that's where she's going.
If you don't finish college,
does she get to start from where your credits left off?
That should be, they should have,
they should grandfather that in.
That wouldn't do her any favors.
Hopefully she doesn't have to take,
I had to take whatever,
whatever two courses before 101 is for math.
I had to take that.
So whatever math, it was like math 001 or something
it was like a plus two equals three type we gotta start relay college college man yeah hand off
those credits that would be tight we've been trying to finish college for eight generations
yeah when she graduates that means i get the degree though right we got a bachelor
you get an honorable mention all right you get a ring we'll send you a ring a year later Yeah, when she graduates, that means I get the degree, though, right? We got a bachelor's.
You get an honorable mention, all right?
You get a ring.
We'll send you a ring a year later.
As soon as we have another kid, we're going to go back to grad school,
and we're pretty excited about it.
Time for my fourth pick.
I couldn't go through this draft without going down to the swamp for a pick.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
I hear you.
I'm taking You Don't Know How It Feels by Tom Petty. Well, let me get to the point.
Let's roll another joint.
Great, great pic.
Great pic.
Great pic.
Great pic.
Let's get to the point.
Let's roll another joint.
Come on.
You know, that...
Now let's get to the point.
This song, as the sun is starting to go down,
the sky's turning a little bit pink.
You know, the meat is still pink.
Tom Petty, he's pink.
He's got a sunburn.
He's coming in.
Yeah, man.
I couldn't go through the draft
without drafting a little bit of Tom Petty.
And this one feels the most
barbecue-y
to me
because it's just real laid back
I feel like Last Dance with Mary Jane
while a great song is a little on the nose
a little melancholy
this song I don't know there's something about it
yeah I love that
I love Petty Outside
yeah Petty Outside
it's outdoor music yeah outdoor music for days and again nice weather music I love that. I love that. I love Petty Outside. Yeah, Petty Outside. It's the best way to experience Petty.
Yeah, outdoor music for days.
And again, nice weather music.
Just outdoor, nice, chilling, fun people
that you love around music.
A lot of this is also good boat music.
Totally.
I mean, I think there's similar vibes.
There's a lot of Venn diagram.
Although, not full Venn diagram.
No, that's a circle.
Yeah. It's blacker than being on a boat. circle. It's blacker than being on a boat.
Yeah, it's blacker than being on a boat.
For sure.
Yeah, yeah.
It is way blacker than being
on a boat.
Jamel, time for your
fourth pick.
Alright, well, this is for my uh what is it what is the what are the 20 it's called the 2010s late aughts the late aughts the o's right oh no
this is for the yeah i got you the newest song that i could even think of that i is for sure
gonna always be on that list uh the Percocet and Stripper joint.
My future.
I just did a dose of Percocet with some Strippers.
I just did a dose of Percocet with some Strippers.
What?
Dirty Sprite 2?
I don't know it.
Man.
Oh, buddy.
That's crazy. It's so smooth.
Where's your aunt at?
It's so cool.
My aunt, she might be in the bathroom yeah she's not
she's not around anymore hopefully she's actually gone or a future on the list is crazy yeah
i mean come on what up i was really like i know for a fact if i people listening go with me i'm
sure this is going to lose me the draft on the scorecards.
No, no, no.
I doubt it.
But listen, when you listen to it,
tell me you don't want to throw something on the grill
when you hear the beginning of this.
It's got that West Coast thing.
It's got that kind of,
it kind of sounds like a little bit of,
a little Dr. Dre-us, but not sure i listen it's a
it's an album cut but i tell you it's not it ain't like it's it's pretty good i couldn't think of a
newer song that i would play at a barbecue i love i love every decades the every decade rule
yeah that is buck the future made it i didn't see that coming but that's the fun part and it's and
it's also how i want every barbecue i throw to end yeah strippers have showed up they're looking
for plates we got them you know what i'm saying it's not even a problem it's not even a problem that eight extra uninvited strippers just showed up. Yeah.
You said extra.
That's besides the ones that were invited.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, you got the girls from Cheetahs here, too?
Okay, well.
We got some something for y'all back there.
Eight extra uninvited strippers.
That's a good album name.
The Percocet and
Stripper Joint by Future.
It's called that?
I thought you were saying that's how I would know it.
That is the name of the song.
The Percocet and Stripper
Joint
by Future Hendrix.
Man. That might be super
regional, but that's the one.
This is going to be the exact opposite of my next pick.
All right.
Sean, you got to go first.
What's your fourth pick?
Oh, it's me?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, sorry.
It's probably about as dancey as I'm going to get,
but on any given day, it's my favorite song.
Sir Duke, Stevie Wonder.
It's as live as I'm going to get out there, but it's me just moving around,
grilling. Nothing crazy. Burgers and dogs. I don't have to pay a ton of ton of attention they get more action so i get to flip them every now and again
might even try to pick a burger up and like flip it have it land back on the spatula
one of those okay one of those can any of you do that yeah do people do that for real
this is the kind of this is the kind of confidence that leads one to claim that
they're a top one percent unpaid driver you. You don't even have a grill and you're
calling out spatula tricks?
I need to amend that, by the way. I was thinking
about this. I need to say car drivers
because I can't drive a motorcycle
or a semi. I was thinking about that. I was like,
a lot of people can drive a motorcycle. I have no fucking
idea what I'm doing. So, I
have to say car drivers.
Because driver
means I think I could drive a Ducati or like a, I don't know, I guess have to say car drivers that doesn't make it because driver driver well because driver means
i think i could drive a ducati or like a i don't know i guess you can't drive a semi without why
would you if you weren't paid but uh car drivers so anyway i thought of that and i have to be honest
dan japanese sedan yeah god-fearing Protestant.
A Protestant car.
Automatic transmission.
God, I used to have two doors.
Two doors are insane.
Just hop in the back.
What a crazy thing
having two doors. Anyway, Sir Duke.
Yeah, Sir Duke. Love it.
Meatballs.
Steve, you needed to be represented on this.
Absolutely.
No, that's great.
For sure.
David, time for your fourth and your final picks.
I'm not traditionally into worship music.
Okay.
Okay.
But Stomp by Kirk Franklin. Okay. Okay. But, uh...
Stomp by Kirk Franklin.
And when I think of my
goodness, it makes me
wanna stomp.
Right. Come on.
I don't know about that.
The church is throwing
barbecues all the time. I gotta jump in here.
Yeah, that song goes so
hard. Yes.
See? So hard. Just in here. Yeah, that song goes so hard. Yes. See?
So hard.
Just in case.
Just in case you thought it was just me and David.
Come on.
I grew up in the church.
Just in case.
I love the song.
Down.
Yeah.
Make me clap my head.
Make me want to dance and stall.
I'm going to be was it?
Oh, man.
It's a joyous
time. It's a joyous
time. It's beautiful.
The kids want to dance to it.
Stopped by Kirk Franklin
and God's property.
And salt from Salt-N-Pepa is on it.
And Salt-N-Pepa.
What does Salt do? Does she rap?
Yes.
She got a verse about the goodness of God.
Well, I like it now.
It's a great song.
When I think about the goodness and the fullness of God. Stomp?
Stomp by Kirk Franklin.
The remix, I assume.
Sean, I would love if you got really into Kirk Franklin, man.
That would be a cool microphone for you.
I mean, also listen to revolution is a good one okay yeah i'll listen i'm gonna go you know while i'm reading
ian's book after this i'll probably listen to all these songs so it'll work out well
don't fucking condescend to me i don't want i actually don't want you to read the book
take it back i don't want you to read the book. Take it back. I don't want you to read the book at this point. Take it back right now.
You listen to Kirk Franklin on your little skateboard.
That's the crazy.
You're the first guy who ever said that.
No.
Just go out there.
That's the first time anybody ever said that.
You listen to Kirk Franklin on your little skateboard out there.
I'm sure a lot of youth pastors have said that to wayward teenagers.
No, no, no.
It's the first time.
If you were wayward teen, you not bumping Kirk, frankly.
Exactly.
You're just about to be wayward.
You're on your way to being.
Oh, where'd the hearts come from?
What?
The hearts.
You just had hearts on your screen.
Yeah, I know what you did.
You made something happen.
There you go.
Look at that.
Thank you.
That shit does not work.
Yeah, I don't. Mine either. I don't got a Mac. This is a PC. There you go. Look at that. Thank you. That shit does not work. Yeah, I don't mind either.
I don't got a Mac.
This is a PC, so I sold.
I got a good job.
Mine don't do that.
You got a Lenovo Chromebook, like Sam?
Yeah.
David, your final pick.
This is weird.
I'll say it.
This is weird.
This is for me.
I just love...
I think sometimes in the right setting,
punk rock music is good outside.
For sure.
And I'm taking the Vandals, I've Got an Ape Drain.
I've got an ape drain, yes I do.
They're giving up to anyone that beats you.
You can drive to Riverside and get one too. And then you'll have an ape drain like I do. I don't know that fucking song.
Why don't I know this?
I don't know.
I've got an ape drape.
Yes, I do.
I'm giving it to everyone.
That means you.
You could come to Riverside and get one too.
And then you'll have an ape drape like I do.
I love it.
I've got algae air. Yes, I do. I love it. I've got algae here.
Yes, I do.
I'm giving it to everyone.
That means you.
And there's like everybody singing it at the end.
It just feels good outside.
Interesting.
All right.
I know and love the song.
I think I never in a million years would have picked,
would have thought you were going to pick this.
But yeah, I would be stoked if it came on.
Yeah, you would be kind of stoked.
It's got fun energy.
You got to listen to the chorus though, Jamel.
That's what's important?
Just run it to the chorus.
That's the most important part.
Because the beginning is like...
Okay.
I'm going to listen to five of these right right now you see what i'm saying you feel the
vibe it's a few parties in dc you get off with that what do you mean come on kids would like it
i love this song yeah and i wanted to get a punk rock first i was gonna do because i don't think
anybody was gonna take it i was like i was gonna do born to do dishes by the queers but then i was like no i think i want the ape
trip song i mean you go to a certain barbecue that's all you'll hear you go to a punk rock
barbecue and being from colorado i've been to one uh sean your final pick i'm gonna go time I'm going to go Time of the Season by The Zombies. You guys know that song? I do.
Oh.
Who's your mama?
Who's your daddy?
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
Real mellow.
That's a good one.
It's a hot, like hot outside ass song. And I just love that song.
It was one of the first
That popped into my head
But I know it's not like a
No one's getting like hyped
But
I feel like everyone
It's in the background
They're like
I like this song
You don't want people getting hyped
Right
Well I kind of do
I had some crazy shit on here
So
You guys called me down a little bit
Cause in my mind
I was like
I want
I kind of want to get bucked
But this is like
I created a different mood
So this Yeah Time of the Season by the Zombies.
Shout out to Andrew Hobel.
He's a part in Transworld Video.
Perfect.
Jamal, your final pick.
My final pick is another one for the city.
Also a trick pick because it sounds like an old song, but it came out in 2007.
Block Party by Chuck Brown.
This is another regional.
Oh, buddy.
So good.
It's basically the music from,
what's that one?
Smoking Joe's Cafe on Broadway.
Oh, yeah. Smoking Joe's.
But it's like, you know, it's like it's funky.
So it's like a funky version of that.
And it's just another joyous barbecue jammer.
I'm going to be listening to this.
Look at David.
Look at him.
See?
Say it again.
It's called Block Party by Chuck Brown.
Oh, yeah.
These are all I have an immediate playlist oh yeah oh yes you feel it right that's a great pick you feel it right
it's called it's a barbecue it's a bar it's a backyard party he's throwing a barbecue in the
song also this guy chuck brown really got to see more what he's into. He's about business.
R.I.P.
Yes, we about our business.
He is R.I.P. to the Godfather of Go-Go himself, Chuck Brown.
He also made a song for the D.C. Lottery.
That's amazing.
Which is an alternate on my list.
The Chuck Brown D.C. Lottery song.
That's's man.
Yeah.
Who did that go-go documentary?
I don't know.
I mean,
shoot.
I haven't even watched it.
I'm just thinking about that.
There's a go-go documentary.
I will.
I'll find it.
I think it's on Showtime.
Yeah.
Shout out to the go-go music.
Music almost exclusively designed to be heard at a barbecue by the way 90 percent of yeah 90
percent of the genre is a cookout approved music yeah it's a great except for the 90s it gets a
little it gets a little demonic and sad it kind of turns with the way rap does so there's like a
point in the 90s where it's a little brooding, but
it's just, it's all grill music.
It's open. The whole genre
is sponsored by open pit barbecue sauce.
It's perfect.
Time for my final pick.
The final pick of the draft.
And I couldn't go through an entire draft without drafting a Steely
Dan song. I went a little wider than I meant
to, but here we are.
Here we are.
I got Michael
McDonald on there, so I'm alright.
David Allen Coe, we're doing whatever
we want out here. And I gotta think
there's so many good Steely Dan
songs. And this
was actually a topic on
Twitter the other day of whether
Steely Dan is beer drinking music. Somebody was
saying it isn't. It is.
Of course it is.
It wasn't.
He's just because,
well,
they never talk about drinking beer on the song.
It doesn't matter.
It feels like drinking beer.
My mind go to spritzers first,
but I crack a beer.
Well,
I'm not getting a beer first.
It's not beer first.
It's not beer first.
Yeah.
It's definitely spritzer first. It's cocaine and music. Yeah. It's definitely spritzer first.
It's cocaine and spritzers.
Cocaine and spritzers.
Cocaine and spritzers.
Nice jackets, cocaine, and some spritzers.
Yeah, you're having a great time.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's not sniffing music.
That's what it is.
I'm going to go with Peg.
I'm giving Michael McDonald my second entry on this.
I'm going Peg go with Peg. I'm giving Michael McDonald my second entry on this. I'm going Peg by Steely Dan.
Peg, it will come back to you.
Peg, it will come back to you.
I have no problem with it.
Woodwork.
Peg, it will come back to you.
Yeah, dude.
Michael McDonald on there.
Like no one's drinking to that song?
What are we doing?
Any number of them. Maybe a chilled wine.
Maybe a chilled white wine.
But you're sipping some.
With some berries in it? Yeah, you're having a good time.
Isaac, do you have a pick?
Yeah, you guys know the song
Sunflower by Post Malone and Sway Lee?
Then you're left
in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You're a sunflower Sunflower by Post Malone and Sway Lee.
You're a sunflower.
Okay.
For me, that is an outdoor grilling song.
New millennium barbecue music. Have fun in your 20s, my friend.
So you want people under the 30s?
Yeah, under the age of 30.
I got four months left of being in my 20s.
I'm going to act like it up until.
Do it.
Okay.
Sean, do you want to revoke?
If you're like me, you'll act like it until you were 34.
Yeah, I'll do that too.
38?
Sean, do you want to revoke his 20s a few months early?
Like you're trying to revoke my 30s?
Yeah.
Why are you a fucking Grinch, dog?
He's a real Grinch.
Sean, something happened on tour where Sean came back different, dude.
Sean's Grinched out.
Let me breathe.
Tour will change you.
I don't think so.
Sean came back Grinched, dude.
I think it made me happier and stoked her.
Enjoy the rest of your 30s.
I want you in the 40s.
That's all I'm saying.
I want you in the club. I want all I'm saying I want you in the club
I want to have another 40 year old to commiserate with
you can't do that at the expense of his 30s
Sean it's just not fair
enjoy the rest of your 30s
I I I
what about I in
you should enjoy the rest of your 30s
and what about Isaac's 20s
I and I
what about Isaac
come on Ja provides my apologies What about Isaac's 20s? I and I What about Isaac?
Come on My apologies
Everybody enjoy the rest of your
respective decade
We're going to talk about this off mic
Oh you're coming to town
You're going to come visit
I actually am flying up tomorrow
but you would have to see me at the airport
Ivan Carmel I don't even think would let me stop to talk to you Oh you're flying up tomorrow but you would have to see me at the airport Ivan Carmel
I don't even think would let me stop to talk to you
oh you're coming up tomorrow?
and then I'm driving up to
Puget Sound to go on a boat
oh that trip is tomorrow?
oh nice have fun bud
that'll be amazing
it's gonna be great
well hell yeah
Sunflower by Post Malone I like it man it puts you in a good ass mood hell yeah. Sunflower by Post Malone.
I like it, man.
It puts you in a good-ass mood.
It's the amazing Spider-Man.
How old do you guys think Post Malone is?
I think he's our age.
I think he's like 26, 27.
No, no.
He's younger than me.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Stop.
What?
Yeah.
Was he like 24, 25?
He can't be.
He's 29.
Oh, is he the same age as me?
Oh, okay.
I thought he was younger.
He just turned 29.
I would have thought. The face tests cover
up a lot of the wrinkles. I think he did
his version of slowing down, and
I don't think it was very slow.
Didn't he get sober for
just a second there? Dude, is
Google sucking lately for you guys?
Yeah, it sucks. I've been using Reddit.
I've been using Reddit as my primary
search engine because you can't find shit.
They're going AI.
Oh, that's why it sucks?
It's really annoying.
Wait, what's happening? Google sucks?
Google's been using AI.
It's not been efficient or effective.
No, it's really bad.
Which actually ultimately makes me feel safe
that it's not good.
I suppose.
We'll see what happens next.
We'll all be replaced by AI.
Yeah, I just go to Facebook for my news.
I can't wait for AI to replace me.
AI need to come replace me right now.
Dude, I'm ready.
I'm ready to get replaced.
Send me the check.
Let us sleep on the couch.
AI doesn't need any money.
If they want to take over and pay us,'d be fine that'd be hard any ai wants to andre gadala alan iverson
artificial intelligence come on anybody take all come on in come on in
well that's it to recap the. What a playlist this will be.
David, you went first.
Before I let go.
Mays and Frankie Beverly.
Frankie Beverly and Mays.
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen.
You Never Even Call Me By My Name by David Allen Co.
Stomp by Kirk Franklin and God's Property.
And I've Got an Ape Drape by The Vandals.
Yep.
Sean, you went second.
You took Summer Madness by Kool and the Gang.
Lovely Day by Bill Withers.
Ride With Me by Nelly.
Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder
and Time of the Season
by the Zombies.
Jamel, you went third.
You took School by Crush
by the Average White Band.
Thug Passion by Tupac.
Love Come Down
by Champagne King.
Evelyn Champagne King.
Percocet and Stripper Joint
by Future
and Block Party
by Chuck Brown.
I went last.
I keep forgetting by Michael McDonald.
Cisco Kid by War. Smokestack Lightning by Howlin' Wolf.
You Don't Know How It Feels by Tom Petty and Peg
by Steely Dan.
That's Cisco Kid pick. That opens it up.
That gets us in the Latino
windows. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you feel me?
If you're out there send me latino
barbecue music send it to all of us email yeah don't be telling people we're burning
i mean you know
we doing flank steaks we doing flank steaks're doing all types of stuff come get with us i've been sneaking some onto my playlist and just looking around when it plays to see if it does
anything for anybody how's it been going like reggaeton no not like reggaeton
jay balvin and like no man not pop music
fucking barbecue music dude like
like their equivalent of like
dudes in sandals with a gut
not
not fucking J Balvin
J Balvin in 30 years
so I had there were two
so Bob Seger I was gonna pick
Night Moves by Bob Seger
and then the crazy one i wanted was
hot stepper by aini kamozi i don't know how well received that would have been i like it
that was my sleeper where i was like i don't know about stepper for me
it is a weird barbecue song it's weird in a barbecue i picked a drink i'm not saying
yeah you did.
You know what's a sneaky one?
If it was all black people on this one, you know what I would have put on?
Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5.
It sneakily became a black people song.
I don't know how.
It's like a Paramore song.
Yeah, it was that time when black people were watching VH1 more than they usually would. I do remember that.
And it kind of, yeah.
I was watching it a lot.
Come on.
I also remember VH1 playing a lot of Janet Jackson.
They did.
Oh, yeah.
Hell yeah.
Because if you wanted to watch it again, you would go on VH1 and they would have a game.
They played R&B in the morning.
Yeah, that part of again where he pulls out her belly chain.
Did we just watch that the other day?
Natasha Benefield even has an ass because of us.
Because black people was watching VH1 in the 2000s.
That's why she got a butt now.
I won't dispute it.
It's unwritten.
Las Nubes by Little Joe and La Familia.
La Ronera by Roberto Pulido.
Oh, I got Back to Life was on my list.
Quien Te Dio Permiso by Saul El Jaguar Alacón.
The Jaguar, dude?
Come on.
Those are the Mexican barbecue songs I put on my list.
It was all going to Jamel's spam email.
Yeah.
Latino barbecue music in Chianti.
I had What You Want To For Love by Bobby Caldwell.
Of course.
That's a good one.
That's a good one. That's a good one.
I missed.
Firecracker by Mass Production.
Oh, I had Praise You, Bri.
Mary, Mary.
Nice.
Let Me Roll Up by Wings.
Oh, yeah.
They Reminisce Over You, Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth.
Let Me Roll Up.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I had Run In by The Far Side.
I mean, listen, there's a lot of great ones.
There's a lot of great picks. Summertime, Sublime. I Get Runnin' by the Far Side. I mean, listen, there's a lot of great ones. There's a lot of great picks.
Summertime, Sublime.
I Get Around by Tupac.
Tupac already got taken, so I don't want to do it twice.
I mean, there's a whole 90s hip-hop where every video is a barbecue.
Feel Me Flow.
Yeah, they are barbecues.
Feel Me Flow is a good one.
The LL Cool J Loungin' remix video.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Loungin'.
Great picks all.
Go ahead, Daddy.
We want to hear yours.
Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter,
AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon.
Thank you so much for holding us down.
Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit,
the AFE Shaslackity.
Shout out to the... Oh, Sean has a point.
First live app is going to be up on the Patreon
by the time this comes out. So if you want
to hear those live apps,
I'm telling you, they're fucking dope. And get on the Patreon by the time this comes out. So if you want to hear those live apps, I'm telling you they're fucking dope and get on the Patreon
because that's where they're going. Just swing on by for a month or two
see if you don't like it.
There's six, there's 500
I looked the other day, there's 588
posts I think. That's like
that's got to be weeks worth of podcasting.
Come on, get on in there
why don't you?
There's so much and it's all so good too. So anyway, hop on there.. Why don't you? Bro, there's so much.
And it's all so good, too.
So anyway, hop on there. Sorry.
Most of them are just reaction videos
to finding out Bobby Caldwell is white.
It's just us doing that over and over
and over again.
I throw off my headphones.
What?
Not the first time, like the third time you find out.
I thought we were over this. even my Rottweilers were surprised
we got a lot of Rottweiler content
on the Patreon dude Sean's Rottweilers
have their own podcast
god they got girl names too
Cynthia and Samantha
they're breaking down the Biden news right now
that's even scarier
shout out to super producer Isaac Lee on the
ones and twos. Shout out to Frankie,
say Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important
than all of that, tune in again next week to
another brand new episode of All Fantasy
Everything. Shaklackity! that was a hate gun podcast