All Fantasy Everything - Hours in a Day (w/ Katie Nolan, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: November 24, 2022We spend 2 hours drafting 20 out of the 24 hours of a day. Because it’s always All Fantasy thirty somewhere! Boston! December 15th we're recording a live podcast in your city! Get your ti...ckets at linktr.ee/allfantasyeverything. Guest: Katie Nolan @katienolan IG: @natiekolan Support the show! All Fantasy Everything is sponsored by BetterHelp. Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything
from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting the hours of a day.
Wrapping up the month of November is our dear friend,
Katie Nolan, from Apple TV+,
it's Friday Night Baseball, from winning an Emmy,
from being newly engaged, from just, I think most of our favorite episode of All Fantasy
Everything, from just being a great F-wording friend.
Sorry for almost cussing.
It's Katie Nolan.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel.
And joining me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Let's get into it.
Welcome back to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast where, I mean, miracle of miracles, he was killed by an errant fastball.
Here I go.
In Seattle, Washington.
Here I am.
But as you saw last Sunday,
he rose from the dead in Portland, Oregon
for a live all-families everything.
Or Friday.
You saw him do a stand-up comedy.
Sean Jordan's alive and well.
After missing the last episode
because he was killed by Randy Johnson fastball.
I hate to tell you this,
but nothing happens when you die.
So, you know.
It's just black?
It's just black?
Yeah, it's like I just woke up from surgery.
So I guess, you know.
Yeah.
I'm kidding.
I think.
Yeah.
Everything.
Don't think about that.
That was a bad thing to put in your head.
You get to eat a lot of ice cream now.
If you just like if it's just like waking up from surgery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a grown up.
I'm this many.
Would you want to know what happens when you die?
Are you happy?
Fuck, man.
That's a good with the mystery.
I don't want to know.
Me either.
I'm going to deal with it when I deal with it.
No, it's not going to help.
If something.
Knowing wouldn't hurt.
Yeah, it would.
Because then I get depressed.
Would it help?
I don't know.
I think it would just be interesting.
I want to know everything.
That's my whole thing.
That's the whole point.
Is it's like I'm curious.
I don't know.
I just want to know.
Is it scary if there's nothing? You're i don't know i just want to know is it
scary if there's nothing you're gonna know it's gonna no you're not i mean but you might not know
because it might be the end of your consciousness in which case you would not have the even ability
to know so if it's unknowable then i would love to know it now if i know us we got about two hours
left and i can't be having a panic attack the whole time what would you do to prepare if it
was the end i wouldn't do anything to prepare life? I wouldn't do anything to prepare.
I don't do anything to prepare to die right now.
I just sort of open my arms and embrace it.
Is this going to give you a panic attack, Sean?
No, it used to. For like a year
of my life, when I was about 12,
I was like, shit, I'm going to die.
And then for about a year,
I could lay in bed and that's all I would think about.
That makes perfect sense.
If I get the wrong kind of high and talk about it,
I'm like, yeah, we got to slow down.
We have to slow down.
It's too dark.
Well, now I just, I think, I don't know.
I gradually have turned into the person that I am.
And I think about just living day to day.
I never think about the long term.
Like I just try to be good in the day.
But yeah, I used to think about it all the time.
And then I would get panic attacks thinking about the universe.
Like it ever expanding. Yeah. Because absolutely. Black holes are crazy to think too much about really oh man i find
so much comfort in that that it's like all bigger it's so much bigger thank god this isn't that
important it's so big i used to think about like well where does it end because there has to be an
end well that but then it's got to be something after nothing.
Even if it's nothing, it's something.
What's on the other side of that wall?
See, now this is where, so whenever I do this,
I have to watch a little bit of Family Guy or something.
Just something so stupid where I'm like, calm down, calm down.
I do or I'll just.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Feel the carpet beneath your toes.
Watch an old skate video.
Oh yeah.
Five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can taste.
No, it's a panic attack thing.
No, it's a grounding thing.
When I first started having panic attacks, I went into the doctor and I told her, I described
a panic attack without saying panic attack.
And she got so mad at me because she's like, I need more details to tell you what's going
on.
I can't help you.
What? What? In South Dakota, she's like, I think you should to tell you what's going on. I can't help you. What?
In South Dakota, she's like, I think you should quit being a wuss.
Grow up, dude.
Is anything wrong with your body?
Because what is this?
That was it.
I made him give me an MRI because I was like, I had a stroke.
Oh, that's a lot.
I was so scared.
And the doctor comes back.
He goes, you didn't have a stroke.
You do have a deep sinus infection that could cause your equilibrium to be messed up, which
is maybe why you're getting some vertigo.
So I was like, dope.
He could have been lying for all I know.
I just needed something.
I needed someone to tell me something was going on.
Oh, dude, lie to me at the doctor when they don't know.
I'm doing stand up about this right now.
So sorry for cribbing my own act.
But like when they don't know know that feels like it should be illegal
yeah yeah don't tell don't tell me you don't know didn't you go to college for like 12 years 12
and i brought myself here do you know how much it took for me to come here oh my god i didn't
want to be here at all yeah for you to tell me you don't know and you did all you poked me so
many times and you still don't know you have to poke me more you took blood out you touched my
nuts do you know how much it costs every time i come see you i don't have time for this you have
to know give me your jacket give it to me give me something i'm walking out of here with give me
your license give me that that's mine now i'm taking all these tongue depressants you want me
to diagnose you you care too much there you go you're too you're too dope maybe i love
too hard yeah man oh is that like like like in a job interview where you're like i think i actually
work too hard yeah let me they're like shut up this is 7-eleven let me reframe my medical
problems as strengths there's like yeah like just say you're not gonna smoke dope in the cooler
maybe i have too much blood.
And that's why it feels like it's constantly under high pressure.
I got too much drip, dude.
Maybe your heart's too big.
Maybe my heart's too big.
Maybe it beats irregularly because it's original and creative.
It marches to the beat of its own drum.
That's exactly right.
It is the drummer.
Yeah, yeah.
Your heart's the drummer, baby.
I went to a job interview in L.A. to be a phone psychic one time and they asked me what yeah i went what this rules tell me more how did this never come together
because you didn't live somewhere that wasn't with me in la and you didn't tell me i had to
have told you about this i had to i was smoking quite a bit of weed at the time well we yes it
was like in the thick of it when Not the weed thing, but when I was
very... I felt really
bad about myself living
there and not having any money. I was really
trying. I went to a job interview
for a phone psychic and they asked where I
saw myself in five years. I tried
to do the whole thing. Hopefully,
climbing the ladder and maybe I'll
be a supervisor. She goes,
not working here.
She's like, what do you see yourself doing in five years she goes i'm not gonna be working here in five years hopefully it was the only time that's ever happened isn't she a psychic can't she tell
you where you're gonna be in five years that's what you should have flipped on her like you tell
me i feel like in that job interview if they're asking you where you're gonna be in five years
it's because they're writing it down then they're gonna hold you to it to see if you really do what
you say you do it was insane man they had a
whole script i sat with somebody it's such a bummer because people are calling in not all of
them know it's a joke you know some people actually you know my mom kind of believes a lot
of people don't know it's a joke sean is it a joke they don't really ever say jk i didn't mean joke i
meant scam my mom believes it you know not knocking you if you believe it.
The point is they had a script. Dude, my mom did those
Publishers Clearinghouse things my whole life.
So she was going to get a big check.
Literally like a
physically a large check.
A large check for not that much money. I got one of those one time.
I won the four star award
for... Did you just dab? Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on. You just dabbed?
Don't make him do it. I was looking down.
I got $2,000 for the
four-star award at HSBC. Shout out to your boy.
And they gave me one of the big checks.
I still got it at Micah's old crib. What's up?
I mean, that's cool. I do like that.
Did you cash it in? I did!
Stop dabbing. Thank you.
She came down from her high mountain
seat to tell me to stop dabbing. I was hoping
she had another screen open
when you dabbed. I was hoping she had another screen open.
When you dabbed.
Oh, stop it.
What can I get away with as a dab?
It sucks so much.
It's really bad.
You told me something I didn't suck that would try my hardest to never do it again.
Every time you dab, you look like
a bird that's supposed
to have feathers but doesn't.
And you're like, oh, no.
What's wrong with that bird?
Somebody shaved a bird.
Yo, what's up, dude?
Let me get it.
You're like a bird that's been hit by a ball by Randy Johnson.
Horny the big penis penis.
Horny the big penis dick.
Hey, my buddy at the end of the bar wants a Jagerbomb.
That's what I'm going to do in Seattle.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I'm eating.
I was.
I'm done now.
You know what's crazy is that you really do
still drink Jager Bomb. Yeah, that's true.
You're the only person I know
keeping that alive.
They're not that bad.
They're not that bad at all.
All the bombs are a weird way.
What's that?
For that to be your go-to is weird.
Have you been to that bar next to
what's the club in austin yes
oh the shot bar oh the velvet it's a it's it's a bomb shot it's a bomb bar yeah yeah
right before your leg was violently splashed with red wine we went to or right after we went to that
place that was where right after where we went all All bombs. All bombs. They're like, you want a rock star in schnapps?
And you're like, I guess.
Is it called something cool?
Is it called like bomb.com or something?
Not.
That's not cool, Katie.
No, I know.
But I did just come up with it off the top before being fair.
The bomb shelter would be cool.
Uh-huh.
I like that.
I made one up.
I'd call it fallout.
You hearing this?
What?
I made up.
Okay.
I like that as well.
A bomb.
Sorry, Sean.
You go tell your.
The Obama I made up. It was Bacardio, Orange Juice orange juice and red bull i called it the obama you made it up
i made it up oh well some i'm sure a bunch of people but i made it up at the bar i worked at
it's also crazy you're still drinking bacardi you well not now dave this is 15 years ago drink
bacardi at the party do rappers still talk about bacardi like they did in the early o's because
they used to talk about it a lot.
Rappers are bad at drinking.
Bacardi B is named after Bacardi.
Rappers are all 22 and stuff.
They're also drinking
hypnotic. The ones who are our age
don't talk about Bacardi the same way.
They said, where's the Bacardi at?
Mix it with the Chris. What's wrong with that?
It just rhymed with party.
It made a lot of sense.
That's a good point i saw
that video where uh fetty wop was drinking patron mixed with like uh well he called it zoo juice
it was like patron mixed with champagne and you're like you're gonna that's how they got the first
time yeah zoo juice no i don't want a glass of zoo juice any rapper r.a just talking about bacardi at this
point it has a a stake in the company yeah you know that's what you have to set out yeah yeah
yeah yeah nobody but cardi was like the one of the first liquors i was ever like i can't do that
anymore it's syrup it was like that in southern comfort southern comfort was the first thing i
first thing i ever got drunk on mal Malibu. Oh, yeah.
Malibu.
What even is Southern Comfort?
It's like a liqueur.
Yeah, it's syrupy bourbon, I think.
They don't even sell it in bars.
It's not right.
It's not right.
Give me the shakes.
When Dan was little, when he was a little bartender for his mom,
when she would come home from work, he would make her Southern Comfort.
When he was a little bartender for his mom.
Really?
Yeah.
You made it sound so cute when he was a little bartender.
He just had it ready. I mean, the way he tells it to me, I'm sure it was very different, but the way he tells it to me is that he was like a little bartender really yeah you made it sound so cute when he was a bartender he's like had it ready for i mean the way he tells it to me i'm sure it was very different
but the way he tells it to me is that he was like a little butler you know he would just like he
should come home he'd mix her drink single mom shit that's why he's such a little gentleman now
yeah a big gentleman now he's such a big gentleman bg i think i have to stop drinking tequila
what happened i've been i've just been like, you know, like, my
butt fell off. I think it gives
me an extra bad hangover. Hit me
up in the comments if this has happened to you.
Like and smash.
Did you drink just tequila
or did you mix it with something else in terms
of like, did you also drink a rum drink
to start or a wine to start?
I drank a whiskey drink. I drank a lager drink.
I drank a cider drink. I drank a lager drink. I drink a cider drink.
I drink a...
What's the...
Last one was cider,
so I don't know what the middle one was.
Vodka?
Vodka drink.
You do sing some songs
that remind you of the better times.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen you do it.
Oh, Donny boy.
I didn't drink...
Like, I get...
The nights I don't drink tequila,
my hangover is always so much more manageable. And then when't drink tequila, my hangover is always so much more manageable.
And then when I drink tequila, the next day I'm so much more anxious.
But I'm saying I thought this too, but it was because tequila was the thing I would
shoot and it would be the last thing of the night.
So what it really meant was it wasn't the tequila.
It was that I introduced a different type of liquor at the end of the night.
Once I hit my 30s, I can't do that.
I got to pick a color.
But if it's just tequila, yeah, you got to pick a lane and stay in it.
At weddings, it's the hardest because you want to drink a little bit of this and a little
bit of this, but you got to stay focused.
And there's so many different people at weddings where they're like, you're like, because I'm
a big fan of like, we're in line together schmoozing and then we get up there and it's
like, what are you having?
Yeah. And then that gets you every time. Every time. we're in line together schmoozing and then we get up there and it's like, what are you having?
And then that gets you every time.
We tried that at Ian's wedding and they go,
they're like, we're not doing shots. And David and I were like,
what if you just do
the liquor part without the rest?
Can we get a bunch of them neat?
And they were like, no.
Get out of here.
I think you asked if you could get it on the rocks without the rocks.
I think I even had like 40 bucks. You didn't say that. He said, you could get it on the rocks without the rocks. I think I even had like 40 bucks.
You did say that.
Sean can say that.
He said, can I get it on the rocks?
Hold the rocks.
I was like, just get in there.
I didn't know they weren't doing shots.
They didn't need to be.
A lot of weddings do that.
And honestly, it's for the best.
I was also all red-eyed off all that boo I was smoking.
Oh, yeah.
All that boo.
It was a good outside wedding, too.
There was like a good hang outside. It was a great outside wedding too there was like a good hang outside
it was a great outside wedding yeah it was good hot it was just good dan forgot his inserts so
for his shoes so we didn't get to do as much dancing as i wanted to tell him brother that
shit is i look i look up at him and i'm like i get get it. I'm sure that sucks. I'm sure that sucks. But once you get the inserts, if you...
I fucked around the other day and was just walking to the store and didn't put them in my Crocs.
Yeah.
My feet hurt all day.
I get it.
Once you get the orthotics...
That's not a distance shoe.
No.
But any shoe, if I don't put them in, now I'm so used to them making my feet the way they're supposed to be.
If I don't put them in, that shit kills my feet.
I had those liquid insoles that night.
Couldn't get me off the dance floor.
Dang.
The tequila insoles, dude.
In the Gucci shoes.
Could not get off the floor.
So you're done with tequila, no mas.
Yeah, I think I'm just going to drink Brandy
Alexanders from here on out. I mean, why wouldn't
you put a little milk in your Brandy?
Yeah, that's it. That's it for me going
forward. Did I ever tell you that E40
story that makes me love him so much?
No. Somebody told this story
about E40. They went up to
it was Noriega told this story about E40.
He went up to the bar and hega told the story about e40 he went up to the bar
and he was like what are you drinking uh or he e40 went up to the bartender and he's like let
me get two moishas and the bartender was like what's a moisha and then he 40 says straight brandy he's the best guy he's the best guy
he is the best guy
I bet he is
who's fucking better than E-40
he just cooks all the time on Instagram
goon with the spoon
oh I gotta follow E-40
oh yeah he's making his own sausages
that I'm sure are only available
in select gas stations in Vallejo
yeah he's just delightful.
Like, who is more just random delight?
Any song I go listen to, there's not a song that isn't fun, at least.
I was listening to an interview with him, and he was like, I was in the studio.
I write all my lyrics on my belly.
And I'm like, he just likes to lay down on his belly
and write stuff that rhymes.
He lays down on his belly
like a teenage girl on the phone?
Like he's dishing?
He writes, tell me where to go.
Tell me where to go.
He wrote, imagine all the Hebrewsrews going down star wars nope yoda yep
just on his belly
think about it on his belly he's like shoes off
sausages i imagine him kicking his feet like hitting his butt like
on hit alternating butt yeah you know we should start writing our
stand-up on our belly and see what that does to our ad i think it would change i think it'd make
it adorable yeah yeah there's no room for any bad attitude when you're writing on your belly like
that well speaking of stand-up we have a talented one here seanis jordan on twitter There he is. Sean Peering soon in a theater near you.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. I'll be with all my
friends coming up. It's going to be a blast.
San Francisco, December 2nd, 3rd
with Kyle Kinane. December 4th,
David Borey at
Healing Comedy Club. I'll be with him.
Other than that, man, just have fun.
Go have fun. Holidays are coming up.
Chill. Is this Thanksgiving week that this comes out? Yeah. It'll be have fun. Go have fun. Holidays are coming up. Chill. Is this Thanksgiving week
that this comes out? Yeah, it'll be on Thanksgiving.
Oh, okay. Happy Thanksgiving,
everybody. Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Except you, Dave. Not boring.
You know who you are, Dave.
Yeah, Dave.
Fucking prick.
Damn. That's right. Thanks, Dave. Fucking prick. Damn. That's right.
Thanks for taking.
Yeah.
Sitting it, dude.
Yeah.
Dave, you see how you just do take a chill pill, bud.
All right?
Mellow out.
Sitting it, dude.
Everybody else, though, have a milkshake.
You know, it's a good day.
Thanksgiving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have a great time.
Except for you, Megan.
Oh, Megan, dude.
After what she did.
Megan, too?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, Megan, too.
You didn't see the mustard thing?
With all that mustard?
It's like, what are you doing? Ridic you shocking to me i know that you're kidding but
like i do like mustard and i feel like you i love mustard you like mustard john see that could go
either way i thought he wouldn't like it i definitely like it hold on hold you hold on i
won't i won't i won't why what what about my diet makes it seem like I wouldn't like mustard?
Mustard's trashy.
Yeah, I would have guessed you put mustard on everything.
I thought it was too dynamic for you.
Yeah, it's a dynamic flavor.
I put mustard.
I always thought, and this feels mean now.
I always thought of you as a ketchup guy.
You know what's funny?
I'm a ketchup girl.
I take offense to that being mean.
I love ketchup.
I eat less ketchup because David hates it so much. I hate it i hate ketchup that's weird david it's so
bland it's just a texture it's yummy sauce it's weird you hate chop i love chop he used to love
chop so much he'd ask for the biggest lid they had at like mcdonald's and he'd fill it up with
chop and then that's what i knew a, I knew a girl that liked mayo so much
that when she went to Subway,
she would go put so much mayo on that sandwich
that you think you're going to puke
and then put a little bit more mayo on it.
Oh, no.
I know exactly how much mayonnaise that is too.
To me, that's like just a thin, too much.
You hate mayonnaise?
I don't love it.
I don't love it.
I don't hate it.
It plays a part.
Like on a chicken sandwich, I appreciate it.
Gotta have it in there. I can't like, I don't want to see it. I don't want to spread It plays a part. Like on a chicken sandwich, I appreciate it. But I'm not, I can't like,
I don't want to see it. I don't want to spread it. Can you eat a wet chicken
salad that's just like mostly yogurt and mayonnaise
and chicken? Can you have like a chicken salad?
You know, Sean's one of those
monsters who thinks mayonnaise and Miracle Whip
are the same thing. I can't tell the difference. I was going to say that.
Freak. Fucking nuts.
That's fucking nuts to me, dude. I used to put mustard in my
corn. That was one of the weird. What's in Miracle Whip that makes
it not mayonnaise? I don't even know. It feels like sugar. Ass. That's what Dave corn. What's in Miracle Whip that makes it not mayonnaise?
I don't even know.
It feels like sugar.
That's what Dave did.
That's why we don't like Dave anymore.
Ah, that's what the beef with Dave is.
It's mayo beef.
Well, today it's the turkey with Dave,
but it's beef every other day.
We got turkey with him.
And Megan.
Dave and Megan, why don't you guys move to an island?
Are we still pardoning a turkey?
Is that still happening? Or did the last guy just not do that?
We are still. The four of us
and Marissa's going to bring a turkey out.
You know what would be nice for Sleepy Joe
to do before he pardons the turkey is to wake up
and lower the gas prices and the APR.
Get him down, bro. Lower the gas
prices, man. All right? Wake up.
Hey, Joe, wake up, bud.
All right? I'm knocking on the window i know you
hear me wake up lower the apr and uh on the window that's how he wakes up yeah and if you want my gun
just go ahead and come and take it bud that's uh it's all i gotta say so god if he does i'm just
this is a sidebar if sean does have a gun if someone could come take that yeah it would be
awesome i think yeah the only gun i want is a t-shirt cannon or a confetti gun.
I'll take either one of those.
Send them to me in the mail.
What about one of these?
Still legal for now.
Come take those.
He's holding up a fully functional AR-15 for everybody.
It's crazy.
Safety off.
Safety removed.
Can you do that?
You can remove a safety?
I don't know.
Probably. That's problem probably that's nuts
that's nuts i mean you're talking to a lady who was afraid to touch the paper cutter in
in grade school i wouldn't go near that thing it was a little guillotine i loved the power i mean
it made a good noise it's great noise i appreciated it for its function and uh form but i did not like
they're not doing that anymore right those aren't in elementary schools anymore. They must
not be. It feels weird that that was
loose. I know it was.
You know what I mean? That that was just
out there. But the scissors were rounded, but we got those weird
scissors that couldn't cut anything. Yeah.
The scissors, and then this thing
that looks like it was made to cut through cow
bones in a butcher shop was just
like available to everyone
who had five fingers arm was always
up it was always ready to come down always ready to come down on you exactly that and the final
destination movies could not exist in the same universe so i don't think kids have them anymore
hopefully if you're a kid and you listen to this shout out to you hit us up in the comments
dude and let me know if you can't drink tequila anymore either. Like and smash, bro.
Little kids.
Was that ice cream?
Dan on this podcast, I will say, is making an incredible impression. It seems like I just sit here and get weighted on hand and foot.
That's really what it looks like.
We've seen that happen a lot in the last two days.
Yeah, this is the only thing I do for work now. So, uh, the only time I'm busy is when I'm on this podcast. He's got to soak it up. Yeah. He's the greatest. That's why I'm
going to marry him. Get her married. She's getting married. I'm marrying him. Okay.
Did you hear about Katie? She's getting married. Hey, Ian, before we start, can you just, what's
the one
thing that you thought you'd have to really focus on when you're planning a wedding and you wish you
didn't waste any time or money on i got married too but all that ass in those jeans
that i did that we did spend a lot of time on and that was something that you were like oh man i
really fretted about those flowers and they were stupid
i know that's not it because everyone says flowers is the thing you should spend money on well
yeah if there's not an obvious answer just say nothing and we'll make a podcast i didn't notice
the flowers but i think i would have noticed them not being there if that makes sense it does make
perfect sense i think i think it all mattered. There's not an obvious... Let me...
Hold on.
Let me ask Dana Schwartz.
I didn't notice much that I was like,
oh, that was easier than I thought.
It all essentially is easier than you thought
because once you're doing it,
nothing can go wrong, really?
Because you're...
You're also...
Yeah, so you're all the dudes.
So you don't really know.
I didn't do...
I did maybe 5% of the work.
So yeah, to be fair, I'm not going to lie about that, Laura.
And I was very open.
I was like, if you tell me what to do, I'll try my best to do it.
You'll do it.
Yeah, that's most guys.
You guys are pretty good at that.
How long was the distance between?
Women love that.
Yeah, it's our favorite.
What was the difference?
It's better than fucking it up.
I'll do it if you would tell me what it was.
If you'd be my manager.
Just you take control of my actions.
I am foot soldier.
Yeah, they love it.
How long between when you were engaged and when you got married?
Well, all of COVID, like a year and a half.
Oh, that's right.
You got an excuse.
We got engaged in October and we were going to get married the following May.
And then COVID hit in March.
Damn. Really? Am I on that kind of a time crunch now? No, no. in October and we were going to get married the following May and then COVID hit in March. Damn!
Really? Am I on that kind of a time crunch now? No, no. We dated
for eight years or something.
Okay, yeah. That's true.
In my mind, I was like, we wanted to start
getting things going. We wanted to have a kid and everything
and I was just like,
let's just do it.
I don't need anything insane.
But then COVID hit and then it made it really hard
because we had to find a venue that we
ultimately found an outdoor venue
and all this stuff. It was tricky.
It's pretty. It's warm.
It's a good day.
You got a good day? That's awesome.
It was crazy weather up until an hour before the wedding
and then it was perfect.
It was nuts.
Oh wow. That's actually ideal.
It was. Probably not for stress levels. You look cool at your wedding with shade. wedding and then it was perfect it was it was nuts oh wow that's actually ideal it was probably
not for stress levels but yeah you look cool at your wedding with shane yeah everybody looked
great man was he with an older woman he's coming here on monday i'm gonna ask him about that i'm
telling you i genuinely think he was like upset upset and i could not i kept being like are you
fucking with me is this a joke what's the insult and he was like i can't believe you it's he was like hurt shane are we talking about
shane and the older women thing again sorry i brought it back up what is he's gonna get so mad
well dana said in a very pointed way there were a lot of things that she spent a lot of time and
energy on yes i'm sure she did that's a good uh good specification that That she was glad she did.
And she was like, were there any things you think you spent a lot of time and energy on?
So now I think she's mad at me.
Oh, no.
I started a fight.
Hey, it's going to happen.
It's not even really a fight because I have no comeback.
There's nothing I can say other than you're right.
I didn't do shit.
She hit the goodnight button with one punch and the fight's over.
Bring her an iced coffee.
I'll bring her an iced coffee.
I got a wedding planner.
That's smart.
Where'd you find that?
We asked other people who had gotten married.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think this is one of those situations.
I don't like to use my, you know, I do things like a normal, but this is one of the ones
where I think I'm going to ask like my important, powerful friends that are in that circle.
Because it's the thing they splurge on.
Are you guys going to get married at Fenway?
That's the Green Monster, kid.
I haven't even thought about
where we would do it.
It's all very Fenway.
It's right there, kid.
They filmed the town right over there.
Well, if you're trying to go to Aurora,
a lot of great weddings happen at Angelo's CD shop.
Okay. I'll write that down. If you guys weddings happen at Angelo's CD show. Okay.
I'll write that down. If you guys get married
at Aurora, that'd be so tight.
I arranged for all the
late night donuts to show up. I got that.
I used my influence to get voodoo donuts
for free. You did, and that was awesome.
I got us ice cream for free at our wedding. Shout out, Chad,
at 50 Licks. I got us the tea.
I did what I
could. I don't know.
You did great. You don't have to explain
it to us. You don't have to explain it to us at all.
She's a hyper type A person
and I'm not. She's good at that stuff.
Here's the thing. The issue we're going to run into
is Dan is, I guess, more type
A than me, but we're both
messy. We're the
dirty kids. We don't do this stuff.
I hopped at the wedding. You got that figured out. I hopped.
Done. So there, I did the food for you.
Oh, thanks.
I was going to go to an IHOP after your wedding regardless.
That's where the after party is.
If you got the money,
a good planner is worth it.
I will say that.
And even if you don't, any planner.
The money. It's like, how much now?
I don't feel comfortable sharing that on here.
Well, I don't either.
Type it in the chat.
Type it in the chat.
It's the thing with weddings.
You just have no sense of like, what is a lot for this?
What is a little for this?
I wasn't ready for it.
Damn, dog.
That's what I was thinking it was going to be.
Damn.
Okay.
40 bucks. That's crazy. crazy 40 did i take all can i just give
220s or do i have to do it in small bills i always do small bills so it feels like yeah i was gonna
say i was gonna say hit him with the next bubble there we go yeah yeah man ian just put a he put
the eggplant emoji in the chat that's how much the wedding was
that's what it cost and that's how I paid for it
oh my god
it cost about the whole hog baby
I wish I didn't ask
I genuinely wish I hadn't asked
yikes
and your wedding sucked
like if you want to have a good one
that venue though must have been most of it.
That was that venue.
That had to be heavy.
That venue ruled.
He is upset, too.
Oh, God.
Oh, it's so funny.
Oh.
We're having side bits on the podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right side bits on the, all right.
Um,
though,
cool guy jokes,
87 on Instagram,
not on Twitter anymore.
Hey,
oh,
so this comes out on Thanksgiving,
right?
Yeah.
Go see me tomorrow.
I'm headlining comedy works downtown.
I have not been promoting enough and I realized that I want to sell it out and it's late,
but yeah, go see me headline comedy works tomorrow, downtown Denver. I'll be selling
some giggles, some wiggles, some hot jiggles for that ass. Wow. Giggles and wiggles and hot ass
jiggles. And then, you know, December 3rd i'm gonna be in seattle december
4th i'm gonna be at helium in portland i would also like to sell that out and then uh you know
otherwise man you know i'm at all these afd afd dates baby and then uh i think i'm gonna i'm
thinking about getting a thinking about getting a purple shirt uh-huh yeah so you know tell me advise me what you think about that what kind of shirt button up uh like i don't know i've
just been thinking i need to expand my color palette i had a silk purple shirt back in the
day it was good on me too yeah because you were in jonas i wore it with white jabos one time to
middle school imagine that you wore a silk shirt with white pants to middle school?
It was dark purple, but yeah, like a silk dark
purple shirt tucked in with white jabons.
Might as well have just told everybody I'm not a virgin.
Do that again.
I couldn't do most of the shit I did in middle school
with a straight face.
You could wear a purple silk shirt.
I could not do that. I would love to see you in a purple silk shirt and white pants. No, I could not. You could wear a purple silk shirt. I could not do that.
I would love to see you in a purple silk shirt.
Come on.
Do it in New York.
I don't even know.
If there was anywhere you were going to do it.
If there's ever a time to do it.
If somebody buys me.
I'll buy you white Timbs.
I'll buy you white Timbs if you wear one.
Oh, shit.
White Timbs, white jeans, and a tucked in silk.
I'll tell you what.
That'd be kind of nice.
Let's sell out that second Bell House show,
and I will wear the best version of that I can come up with.
White jean, white tucked in, silk, purple.
That means we're going to get a dark blue Spitfire hoodie and some jeans.
Yeah, no, we got it.
Don't say the best version I can come up with.
Make a commitment.
That's almost exactly what I would wear every day.
That's so funny.
No, I'll wear it.
I want you in silk.
I'll do it. I'll part my hair down the middle like I used to.
What am I scared of?
It'll be great.
Katie Nolan is here.
Katie Nolan on Twitter.
At Naty Colon on Instagram.
At the Bell House with us.
I get it.
And Sean Jordan in a purple silk shirt.
Yeah, dude. I was in Jodeci.
Katie, do you have anything to promote? No, you know that I don't., dude, I wasn't Jodeci. God.
Katie, do you have anything to promote?
No, you know that I don't.
I just said I have to get a job.
I always want to give you the opportunity.
I'm starting to stress that my only thing I have right now is my Twitter, and it's going to lose this checkmark,
and somebody could impersonate me and take it away.
So I'm probably going to start a podcast pretty soon,
but Ian, no, right now, you can find me on my Twitter or my Instagram,
which I really don't ever open.
Most of my time,
I just spend scrolling through TikTok on a burner account.
What's your burner account called?
You can't tell him, man.
Well, I can't say it.
Well, I think it has numbers in it,
so I actually don't think it would matter,
but it sounds like my name, but it's not.
Or 2311187.
What is it, like Nady Coleman?
Huge Dong 69.
Nice, hell yeah. That's why I got taken had to be huge dong the real huge dong 69 oh shit
on there so yeah no nothing to promote and and if you ever need a funny video that's like 12
seconds long let me know because i have a huge arsenal of them really any of them have skateboards
every time i see one that's funny enough i just just download it and send it to Dan so that he doesn't have to
get a TikTok.
Oh, I have some friends like that.
This is a good
marriage that's going to happen.
It's going to be a good balance.
We're getting you today not only to find out
that Katie Nolan has a burner on TikTok.
Yeah.
We haven't even started yet.
Now you're trying to take us
on another little journey while I'm trying to get through the podcast
sorry sorry sorry calm down bro
calm down dude
but I'll fucking kill you dude
I'll kill you on stage
I'll kill you on stage at the Ford
theater bro and yell six emperor
tyrannus and then run off
I'll break my I'll break my leg
jumping off
and get found in a barn
Bujarday bro
yeah dude big time Bujarday
fantasy draft
hours in a day
we're going to draft individual
hours in a day there's 24 of them
there's 4 of us we each get 5 picks
we're going to be drafting 20
of the 24 hours
that exist in a day.
Whose idea was this?
It was me.
You know that it was Ian's.
It was Ian's and it was pitched as an example of an idea that then was like,
wait,
this is the idea.
This rules.
I sent a couple and he goes,
I don't like those.
What are we going to care about?
Which one?
I was going to say,
if we were voting,
I would say,
unfortunately,
and look,
that's how ideas come,
right?
You say the bad ones and then we get to the good ones, but yeah, yeah. But they weren't great. You know, I would say, unfortunately. And look, that's how ideas come, right? You say the bad ones and then we get to the good ones. I love it. Yeah, yeah.
They weren't great.
I spend time.
I think about what would be a fun thing for us to draft
on here, and then I
fly it up the flagpole and we see who salutes.
That's what we got going on here on All Things and Everything.
Aye, aye, Captain. Here we go.
It's individual hours in a day. It's a limited
quantity. That's always the fun one
where it's like you can only pick from this pool so you better get your order right and for this one was tough for me if
i can just give my preamble because my hours of my day clearly very different i ate breakfast here
at 1 p.m on this podcast so i gotta try to think in the mind of like a normal set of hours of a day
because my day looked like 10 a.m. to us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It was 10 a.m.
I don't even know what time it is.
No.
It's like 10 to.
What?
10 to your own damn business.
Damn.
Got him.
Got him.
Come on, dude.
Wow.
Got him.
That's five Davis because I just ripped your dick off, bro.
Damn.
Dick removed.
What's happening?
Dick removed.
Dick removed.
Dick removal on the house.
Dick removed.
We determine the order of the draft through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.
We play between the three of you and we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Katie wins.
She throws the scissors against two rocks,
but she did it.
She's only gone and done it.
Katie, as a winner of rock, paper, scissors,
it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. She's only gone and done it. Katie, as a winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it is incumbent upon you
to determine the order of today's draft. Before you
do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine
draft. And what is that?
That's a great question. It's like if you lace
your shoes up the way that Run DMC used to do it.
If you remember, so
Run DMC, and I tried this for a while.
They did the straight across lacing
and I got shit for it.
What's it called the step up
oh so it's like a step up and it's that's a lot yeah so you lace from left to right straight
you don't go at an angle and then under the shoe you go up and then you come back out and you go
from right to left and then you go under again you go up and then uh left to right or however
and you just go back and forth in straight lines and it looks
kind of tight but people made fun of me for that so i stopped doing straight laces yeah you were
probably the only one in south dakota i didn't see anybody else doing it anywhere but so i guess
maybe that maybe because it was different huh okay all right i'm unpacking a little bit i've
moved i've been here i've lived here a while i'm gonna start unpacking i little bit. I've lived here a while. I'm going to start unpacking, I think.
I love that.
You said that, people.
Right to my heart.
Yeah, man.
And it was in Carl Canais, too, so maybe that was another part of it.
The only pair of Carl Canais shoes I've still ever seen on a person to this day.
I need pictures of you so bad. Dude, I wish so bad that I had, like,'t even imagine people don't believe the shit I like I
used to wear I used to dress like a full
on like grape street
crib why can't we see
12 with a bowl cut because I didn't there's no
pictures like you didn't take a single
picture no I also
don't have a ton of pictures of me when I was younger
no not like that because I used to not
dress like that around like my mom and stuff
because it would have looked insane.
She would have been like, what the fuck are you doing?
I had to sneak it.
At least you knew to be ashamed.
Yeah.
No, I knew to hide it because I wanted to keep doing it.
So, yeah.
So serpentine draft.
Okay.
Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.
Now, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be?
You know, it's a good question, and I thought I had it,
and then I pictured Sean in that little costume.
And so I think it's going to be David first,
and then it's going to be Sean, then me, then Ian.
Okay.
Hot corner.
Hot corner.
I'm happy to take it. Hot corner. Hot corner. Hot corner.
David, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it is
incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
Before you do that, I will remind you,
it is a serpentine draft.
Shit. No.
What happened to me?
Sorry, my brain was elsewhere. My mind was elsewhere for a second.
Sorry.
Keep it.
We all thought it was a bit. i was like what in the world am i having that panic attack where he didn't say sean and then he's like i'm doing a thing so i was like he's doing a thing
right now this is a bit i'm not doing a thing i'm not doing a thing i So I was like, he's doing a thing right now. This is a bit. I'm not doing a thing. I thought I was stroking out.
I was already thinking about having to go pee.
It's time for your first pick, which
we will get to right after this short break.
I'm going to go pee.
This episode of All Fantasy Everything
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Yeah, and we're back.
Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything,
the only podcast that has ever existed
This is it
Except of course for Katie Nolan's new podcast
Whenever that happens
That's what it's called
Whenever that happens
Available now on all platforms
Whenever that happens
Oh that'd be fun
I hop in the bed with Katie Nolan
She pre-recorded a thousand episodes
It did
Were you hopping the bed with Katie Nolan?
Yeah
Cause I hop in the bed
I hop in the bed
I was like you know know what, David?
Sure, come on in.
You got forks in there, right?
It's a good place for an interview.
Somewhere there's a fork.
There's a penny that can stick to your back.
Because I got this carbonara.
I Hop in the Bed is a good name for a podcast
where you eat I Hop in the Bed.
Penny Carbonara is a good name for a stripper.
Or like a young girl reporter.
Hi, I'm Penny Carbonara.
Penny Carbonara
live on the scene.
Penny Carbonara would have what we thought was a stroke
on air and introduce
a segment twice, just like I did.
Penny Carbonara!
Very, very daring.
That shit, man. If you haven't watched that in a minute that shit is
jarring to see very dare i can't watch it anymore watch well she's okay she's okay the girl that
had the mini stroke oh my god i did watch that recently and was like that is tough to look at
interview with her when she talks about it it's gonna be so that's scary scary uh david we're
drafting hours in the day you have the first pick what is the best hour in
the day so even though we just talked about not uh going out because we're old and sad
um my first one especially like on a friday or saturday night 9 p.m yeah it's like nine
the beginning of it being night because eight isn't night
you know what i mean nine is not really if somebody tells you they go to bed at eight
you're like what right exactly but nine is like nine is like oh it's nine let's get the ubers
or like it's not okay i just got out of the shower and i'm good you know what i mean like
it's like so much potential.
Anything can happen.
The night isn't ruined.
You look the best you're going to look.
That's a good point.
You smell the best.
You're feeling it.
You're right on top of the wave.
Right on top of the wave.
No drama has happened.
If you're out with a bunch of people,
it's just like the start.
It's all about the promise.
Nobody's in a fight.
You're not early somewhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not waiting for
everyone to show up potential and that feeling of just 9 p.m where it's like anything could happen
especially when you're like in like new york or some shit oh yeah like oof so good so good 9 p.m
9 p.m is fantastic really good hour you also like, if you're showing, like, sometimes other hours, we can say, well, no.
We can't literally mention a single other
period of time.
Because you are,
I don't know, you're not, if you're somewhere at 9pm,
you're not, like, early, too. You know
what I mean? Like, there's other fun people there by
9pm. Yeah. 9pm is,
it's the start of adult time.
It is the first shift of people who go
to sleep. The squares are asleep. Yeah.
Which is also nice. The squares clock out. Yeah, so it's like
okay, it's the thinning of the herd.
It's like, okay, only the cools are awake.
At least, you know, on a square night though
too, because when you draft nine, you get 930,
which is a nice time to go to bed.
What? You could have been at
930. I've been in bed at
930. I can't do it before midnight.
I wish.
I can barely hang till after midnight now.
Damn. This draft
is going to be interesting. Sorry for saying
other things.
Yeah, I feel like me and Katie are going to be
on one side. We're going to have a different
opinion. I've
been on that side. I know well
enough to know that 9 o'clock is a fucking
great time to get the night started. But now, the the idea now that's the thing about it the idea of getting somewhere at
nine is insane to me what do you mean i have plans at nine that's late to you i can't i can't like
if they were like hey if i'm out already if i'm out already i love it then it's fine like like
uh you know seattle will be a good example we have the show down and then about nine is when we're like hey if i'm out already if i'm out already i love it then it's fine like like uh
you know seattle will be a good example we have the show down and then about nine is when we will
go somewhere and it'll be perfect but the other night i left the house at a certain hour i had
to go do a show and i was like why am i this is crazy that i'm going somewhere for the first time
at this hour it was nuts i'm doing a show that starts at 10 on Thursday.
Sorry to say, Picks.
And that fucking feels crazy to me.
Yeah.
Oh, see, I'm out.
Dan will have city spots sometimes where he's like, yeah, my last spot's at 1030.
I'm like, oh, man, that's crazy.
And that's early.
That's because Dan's a really good comedian.
There are some people whose last spots are at like 145.
Oh, man, what do they call those
development spots at the store where you're just like i wish i had gone home and wasn't watching
this too the only time i got to do the improv main stage is one of those development spots and i was
like it's it was past closing time for other bars that were in the area i was like this is insane
yeah the improv goes marathon too dude it was so Luckily, I never had to go up that late,
but I always feel for those late, late, late, late shows.
Yeah, harsh, heinous.
I'd probably love it though.
Yeah, 9 p.m. is a good time.
That's a good time to go up, baby.
For comedy, that's the sweet spot.
That's headliner on the first show Friday.
That's the best time.
It's the best time to do stand-up comedy is 9 p.m. Oh, that isiday that's the best time it's the best time to do stand-up comedy
yeah it's 9 p.m oh that is it's the best time far and away far and away sean jordan yeah what's the
second well i mean in your opinion the best time or maybe maybe the second but what's your what's
your first that wouldn't have been my first wouldn't have been um that wouldn't have been
i mean it's up there but like that wasn't going to be for me the best so i'm going i've tried to think because they've changed how i feel about certain hours it
just it's changed constantly changing the one that was like the the most constant good feeling
i'm gonna say 3 p.m what and it's getting getting out of school oh Oh, yeah. That was like the biggest chunk of my life.
But we got to get every 3 p.m. here.
Yeah.
I mean, now anymore, I can like,
it's the middle of the day.
Max is usually taking her second nap,
which definitely factors in
to what the good parts of the day are for me.
And I can go skate around 3.
You know, it's fine for me now.
So it's still like the end of school.
It's a version of it. But I was just thinking for like, you know i i it's fine for me now so it's still like the end of school it's it's a version of it but i was just thinking for like you know whatever 12 you lived for 3 p.m yeah and just that feeling of just being like my god and there were jobs that i
like i used to work in the morning until three p. yeah so i'd get it yeah so i'd get off work
at three and that was an amazing feeling i also feel like in a traditional and i've been it has
been a while since i've been in one but in a traditional like nine to five three o'clock
you're like we're on the home stretch the last hour is not going to be much better than like
one o'clock one i remember like noon and one being the all right all right all right all right all
right oh i'm just saying time.
I would do that.
I'll equate it with days of the week.
So at work, because I would always go on Monday.
I'd be like, whatever.
I just had the weekend.
Monday's fine.
And then Tuesday would hit.
And I would think to myself, well, tomorrow's Wednesday.
And that's the middle.
So that's dope.
Wednesday would hit.
And I'm like, middle of the week.
No big deal.
Thursday hits.
And I go, well, this is basically Friday.
Because tomorrow's Friday.
And that doesn't count.
And then Friday hits and I'm like,
time to have a beer at lunch.
Or at the middle of the day.
Nampay and I talked about that last night.
If we ever brought a can of beer into a call center job.
Did you guys?
I brought one to thaw it out one time.
It was in my car.
And I was like, I want this immediately at the party.
And so I brought it in and thawed it out at my desk.
That's never good, though.
Once beer's frozen, you got to let it go.
Yeah, they would freeze in the car.
Because you can't leave shit in your car because it'll explode.
Oh, shit, because it was South Dakota.
Damn.
Yeah.
But if you leave it in below zero, it'll explode.
But if it was like 20, 30 degrees or whatever, you could leave it in your car and it would just get slushy and kind of freeze a little bit.
I loved a slushy beer.
Yeah, pretty ridiculous to think about.
Anyway, 3 o'clock.
The main reason is for the big chunk of my life getting out of school.
That was just the best feeling.
Going and grabbing a snack, starting to get active after school.
A lot of fights I saw at 3 o'clock. Yeah, for sure.
A lot of fights at 3 o'clock.
If I put myself back in that school
boy mindset,
3 o'clock, yeah.
Because there's also a lot
of day unfolding out ahead of you then still.
But also
that was when practice started.
You remember that?
That's a really good point
3pm that's it
and I feel like I left
a lot of good ones on the board for y'all
for sure you did
is there good TV on at 3?
no no
cartoons wise I think they play good cartoons at 3
yeah I feel like there was all that after school
vlog yeah
like Pepper Ann I felt like maybe that was Saturday morning she's much too cool for 7th grade three yeah i feel like there was all that after school vlog yeah fresh prince is on it i felt
like maybe that was saturday morning oh my god she's much too cool for seventh grade totally
you guys remember that show no i don't oh man i never saw i never saw pepper and really pepper
i remember the song for some reason they had an episode where she got boobs on Pepper Ann. Damn. Okay, I'll have to go back and look that up.
Yeah, it was like a very growing up show.
Yeah. I don't remember much about it.
Can't even picture her in my mind, but I remember
the, I remember it.
Katie, what's your first pick? Midnight.
Ooh! Midnight.
Love it. Take a midnight.
A million different things I could have picked here, and I'm sure we'll get
to most of those, but I...
There's 22 things you could have picked. Midnight for sure we'll get to most of those but i i there's 22 things for me is like um you know when you're younger it's like the latest it can be
which is like totally um you know my mom used to always say nothing good happens after midnight
and maybe she's right but that means that includes midnight as the hour so it's a great pick um i
don't know smash after midnight now i feel like well first of all um we play a
rocket league tournament that happens every night at midnight so the midnight is like when we all
meet online to do this thing so i like hang with my friends every night at midnight yes
by you mean you and several militias yes several far-right militias yes yeah yeah not all far right
you know just it's the militia that brings us together. We don't concern ourselves with where we fall on the spectrum.
There's some Spokane in there.
Yeah, some mid-left.
Just some centrist militias?
A couple.
Yeah, that's actually our strongest militia.
Those guys are pretty reasonable.
We're ready for anything.
They're my favorite to play with because they're cool with it.
But so Midnight has that.
And then I also feel like now Midnight is, because it's technically the end of the day,
like if you're thinking literally, then it's like those hours after are not, let's say
it's a Friday night and it hits midnight, right?
It's not Friday.
The next, that hour isn't Friday.
It's not Saturday.
It's just kind of lost. It's not Saturday. It's just kind of lost.
It's free time.
It's free time.
And that's why I like it so much.
Midnight is when like free time starts.
It's like extra, it's overtime.
Overtime day.
Midnight is also like, for me, I think about it.
It's like when I knew I was living in the city versus living in like the suburbs or a small town.
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
When like the place, it's still alive at midnight.
Especially San Francisco.
I could go smoke a bowl outside of my house and see a friend walking up the street at midnight.
You know what I mean?
It's just very like, oh, we're out.
We're in the city.
The city's still alive.
Yeah.
The suburbs.
Applebee's is closed.
Applebee's is done.
Yeah.
Those people have driven to the city.
And also, it's the turning of a new leaf.
It's the starting of a new.
It's just the fun.
You stay up.
You kiss on it on the beginning of the year.
It's also like when we were younger, midnight movie releases.
Oh, yeah.
Midnight Mass on Christmas.
Midnight Mass.
The only time I've ever enjoyed church was midnight
because it was like it didn't count you're out at night yeah i didn't go out at night yet really
you know like eight nine dana would want me to point out that that's when the harry potter books
would get released for the first time so they had like uh book events like at midnight and stuff
like that so there's something for everybody at midnight yeah i agree yeah it also was and the
new wordle and the new wordle. And the new Wordle.
Good point.
But they drop the crossword and the Sudoku.
They drop them all
at different times
throughout the day.
I'm a big New York Times game.
Skateboardle drops at 10 p.m.
Gosh darn it.
Skateboardle drops earlier.
What is Skateboardle?
It's Wordle for skateboarding.
So you just have to guess
the skateboarder's name?
There's video clips.
So you get six clips
and then you have to guess the video.
So like, you know, they'll show a trick of Tom Penny doing a nollie hard flip the hard way over this hip.
And it was video radio.
That was the one the other day.
So it was an old Transworld video.
You really got to know a lot about skateboarding.
You have to guess which video it came from?
Like a mixtape?
Yeah.
This is like a very Sean Jordan centric.
This is for you.
Did you invent it?
Are you the only one who uses it?
We would know what it was.
I'm good at it.
I would try it.
Anyway, I don't even show you.
I bet, because otherwise, why would you keep doing it?
Because it's, yeah, I'm good at it.
I don't like doing shit that I'm bad at.
Yeah, me neither.
I will say that.
Trying to get better at it.
Anyways, trying to get better at doing shit I'm bad at?
Yeah, that's life, dude.
Damn.
Put it on your tombstone.
I don't even have a list
on this one
because there's such
a limited amount of pics,
but I don't even have a,
I'm just going based
off a feeling here.
Me too.
So it's time for my
first to second report.
It is time for your first.
Are you keeping track though
so we know who has what?
Because I don't,
you have to, right?
Okay.
I'm not writing it down.
I don't have a pen.
Come on.
You know how hard,
I've had to do that
a couple times.
It is hard. Yes. I keep it. I keep it popping. I don't have a pen. Come on. You know how hard, I've had to do that a couple times. It is hard.
Yes.
I keep it popping.
I keep it popping in the Google Doc.
Damn.
Do you save them after
or you just delete them?
I delete them.
Smart.
There's a record,
a recorded audio record of it,
and then also some people like keep,
you know,
this website.
Chris deletes it.
What you're saying is
someone else's job.
That didn't sound as good as Chris.
Ew, wait.
Chris deletes it. I'm laying down now. It was a Chris is someone else's job. Ew, wait. Crystallites it?
I'm laying down now.
It was a Crystallia joke. It didn't go good.
No, they rarely do.
Yeah, he hasn't had a good one.
Well, the problem is you're not a 12-year-old girl. Then that's who he's...
You get it. I am.
I am.
I'm going to lift up my blinds so it's not so dark in here.
Hold on.
What time is it, Dick? I think Katie's in a wormhole. I don going to lift up my blinds so it's not so dark in here. Hold on. What time is it, Dick?
I think Katie's in a wormhole.
I don't know what's going on.
I think she's recording like in northern Norway.
The sun goes down at like two.
That's a light.
Look, I bought these pants.
They have fleece inside of them.
Sorry.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
I got them on Amazon.
I got some fleece-lined Crocs, and they're getting heavy rotation. Hell yeah. I got Dana some fleece-linedcs and they're getting heavy rotation.
Hell yeah. I got Dana some fleece lined
Birkenstock Bostons. That's a cozy show.
Ooh.
They just sent me a Birkenstock catalog for some reason.
Get one.
I'm thinking about it. Get one.
Ian goes,
he goes, get one.
Get one.
Remember, get one.
I'm going to take a a it is a time of allowances it is a pliable time it is a time that it's a tool that you can
make of it what you will i'm going to take 11 a.m with with my first pick. I like that. I like that time.
You can have.
Well, go ahead.
It's not too early for lunch.
It's not too late for breakfast.
If you want to be one of those people who believes in brunch, go ahead.
I don't personally believe in brunch, but you go ahead.
Yeah.
I don't think I've talked about this on here.
I don't think brunch is real.
Brunch is fake.
We've talked about it, but I don't know if it's been on here.
I don't know if it's on here.
Brunch is bullshit.
Either you're having lunch early
or you're having breakfast late.
No, but somebody's having a burger.
Someone's having a burger at the same table that
I'm having an omelet.
They're not having lunch.
It's the same meal. We're dining
together. It's an airport. I've had a burger
at 6 a.m. at an airport. You can have a burger for breakfast.
Is it your first meal of the day or is it your second?
What are we doing here?
It's not brunch.
Brunch is fake.
And you're drinking?
Fine.
You're drinking a breakfast.
That's what that was designed to get away from.
That's the thing.
Admit it.
Admit that you want to have a drink at breakfast.
But you're treating brunch like it's a vibe.
Brunch is a vibe. You hear brunch, like it's a vibe. Brunch is a vibe.
You hear brunch, you think of a vibe.
It's like a type of hang is a brunch.
It's not about if it's sure, maybe it's technically this guy's breakfast and this guy's lunch, but it's a brunch, dude.
Stealing valor from breakfast.
We're stealing valor from breakfast and a little bit from lunch.
Yikes.
It's more stolen valor from breakfast.
Yikes.
It's more stolen valor from breakfast.
Some people, it is.
It's more.
Going and having a lunch sounds like it was a thing you had to do for work or it was a thing you did at school.
It was like a school period.
I love a brunch.
Having a lunch.
You just call it a brunch.
We've all lived in LA.
We like lunches.
We like lunches.
Brunches are better.
Brunches are better.
It's a vibe.
It tells you what kind of a hangout it is.
So this new meal shows up. Let me get hangout so this new meal shows up
let me get this straight
this new meal shows up
and what's on the menu eggs benedict
you know what I mean what's on the menu omelets
like a classic brunch is a
it's a breakfast
menu with salads usually
masquerading with alcohol
I can have a frisee salad at breakfast
you'll catch me having a frisee
rarely gonna be on a menu unless it's a brunch.
You'll see it.
Next time you see pictures of me in the New York Post, I'm going to be having a frisee
salad at breakfast.
I'm just saying brunch is fake and it's been drummed up to steal valor from breakfast.
And I think.
I think by the Democrats.
By the Democrats, by the way.
Oh, what aren't they doing, man?
By the Democrat establishment, by the way.
What aren't they doing? Wow. I mean, fucking fixing the way. Oh, what aren't they doing, man? By the Democrat establishment, by the way. What aren't they doing?
Wow.
I mean, fucking fixing the country.
Guy hates brunch, drafts 11 a.m.
Make that make sense.
Because you can have lunch or breakfast there.
11 a.m. is brunch.
It is the national time of brunch.
It is the peak time at every restaurant for brunch.
Tell you what's going to happen, 11 a.m. December 17th is you two are going to fight.
It's when people lie about having brunch when they're having breakfast you're
allowed to believe in what you believe it just feels like maybe you would let somebody who
believed in brunch take that hour is all i believe in lower gas prices i couldn't let that
happen okay all right sean you're trying to joke about this republican thing i'm serious about this
i haven't said a funny thing all day brunch is i'm just saying brunch is fake but at 11am which I just
picked if you want to have lunch nobody's gonna
look askance at you if you want to have breakfast
also a good time for that I've had
like a whopper at 11am before yeah I'll have a
whopper at 11am if you're at work
you're like and you're like it's dragging
the day is fucking dragging
you're like let me go ahead and have this 11am
lunch yeah I'm calling it
I'm calling it I I'm calling it.
I'm calling it. I'm going to fucking lunch. It's 11
a.m. I don't give a shit,
Gary. It's not that earlier
time. The time that's an hour earlier than this,
like, that's a clever way to do it.
Picture it in your mind. Don't say it.
Close your eyes. Picture it in your mind.
You can still have breakfast then, but you can't have lunch.
That's not lunch. If you leave for lunch
at 10, the people you work with are like, they're having an affair.
What is this?
Who leaves at 10?
That's fucking chaos.
Yeah.
But 11 a.m.
Also, like, I don't know, on a Sunday, it still feels a little bit like Saturday.
Those Sunday scaries haven't come in.
You know what I mean?
You're still having a brunch on Sunday.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I'm just joking.
What are the Sunday scaries? What? It's the thing that, like,'re still having a brunch on Sunday. Hold on. Hold on. What are the Sunday scaries?
It's the thing that like people who have a job on Monday.
I don't mean that.
I've never heard that term in my life.
You know, at the end of the night on Sunday, when you start to get like, oh man, it's the
weekend, but it's not.
It's basically over.
Oh my God.
I have all this stuff I'm gonna have to do.
I got to answer that email.
I got to do that.
That's a Sunday.
No, I never had them.
I mean, you know, I didn't like going back to work, but I never heard the term sunday scary i don't know sundays were always dope like all the
way through i hated it i i didn't oh yeah i never liked sunday i would i would get that from the
morning sunday from like like i would say from i don't want to say well 3 p.m on i would feel like
starts to feel it starts to feel like oh especially during school where it would be like oh god all that homework you didn't
do 11 a.m on a saturday 11 a.m on a sunday watching a bad movie on tnt eating something
greasy oh dude those were my favorite times at the fortress some of those the great times let's
get pizza boy early watch armageddon i would always like uh i don't know i i would convince
myself that i didn't mind going to work or school on Monday
because I was like, I get to see...
You seem to be very good at that.
Hearing you describe your days of the week,
it's like you're just very good at convincing yourself,
like, here's why this doesn't suck.
And that's such a good skill to have.
Yeah, it is.
Because mine is like, here's why this sucks.
No, I would be like, if I had a crush on a girl or something,
I'd be like, well, I get to see her tomorrow at school.
That'd be my whole thing.
I get to wear the new shoes or whatever. girl or something, I'd be like, well, I get to see her tomorrow at school. That'd be my whole thing. I get to wear the new shoes
or whatever. And at work, it'd be like
I would show up and be in a decent
mood because it didn't suck yet
because it was just the first day. So whatever.
That's what I would do. And it
worked. These are excellent tools.
I'm still pretty stoked. Very good skills,
Sean. Good job.
I've got 11
a.m.
Okay About 20 picks left
And a problem with brunch
It's time for my second pick
I don't have a problem with brunch
Don't don't don't
You have a fucking problem with brunch
I have a problem with unicorns
No I don't I can't they're fake
Wow wow unicorn erasure.
Wow.
Somebody took a rhino.
Well, no, no.
Rhinos exist.
Horses exist.
So do narwhals.
Damn, dude.
I'm just saying.
I don't know why a unicorn has to be fake when narwhals are real.
They're more ridiculous than unicorns.
Why do they have to be fake?
Because they're not real.
You know what's crazy is that narwhals...
Who are we to say that they never existed?
Horns are super sensitive.
Can you imagine having to swim around with something protruding that far from you that
every time you bump it on something, it hurts?
Am I right, ladies?
Yeah, I was going to say, catch me swimming.
Catch Sean swimming with a boner, dude.
Don't you be around me anyone
because I swim hard.
I swim hard and I swim hard.
All right.
Yeah.
And I swim hard because I swim hard.
Hot tub.
You can have a boner pool.
It's like, what's going on?
You have a cold boner.
It's chilly in here. You have a boner because you have to pee so bad is that one of those you have one of those people
that's gotta be counterintuitive considering it needs to face down in order to work you get
pee boners i feel i think and this is a theory that i have here we go let's hear it that has
never been researched but i think morning wood is your body's last attempt to stop you from
pissing the bed no because whenever you wake up and you have to body's last attempt to stop you from pissing the bed. No, it's not.
Because whenever you wake up and you have to pee,
a boner is stopping you from doing it because you can't pee with a boner.
And I think that's your body being like,
this is the last morning I'm giving you.
Every time you wake up to pee, you have a boner?
No, I'm saying morning wood because that's when you're like in your deepest sleep,
you wake up with a boner.
And I think your body's being like,
you're going to piss your pants if you don't get up.
Step back off the ledge, bro.
Never researched it because I don't want to be wrong i'm gonna believe it you think you're
that close to being your bed that often i was gonna say you also think god just doesn't give
a shit if women pee the bed like what about us you can pee with a boner no you you shouldn't
but it's doable yeah it sucks but you can pee with a boner. Do you have to... I'm sorry.
I'm going to regret asking.
Do you have to push it down from the top?
Yeah. It doesn't work.
It's like you kink the hose if you push it down.
I think there's something in there.
You kink the hose?
I mean, on Saturdays, sometimes.
I understand.
If you point your penis down when it's erect and try to pee, you can't do it.
Nothing comes out.
It depends on how far down you have to push it.
You're saying this like you know medically.
Are you just speaking of your own experience
none of this is research
you're kind of just telling us a lot about your dick
and I feel like you should slow down
I believe in brunch
I think morning wood is a body maintenance thing
it's like your body
is just doing that to like
stop you from pissing the bed
to work that
alright
we're finding a lot of layers to the onions here 7pm To like. Stop you from pissing the bed. To work that. Okay. Right. All right.
We're fine.
A lot of layers to the onions here.
We're fine.
A lot of.
7 p.m.
Oh.
That's your next pick.
It's a good pick.
I had that on my list.
I had that on my list.
It's a good pick.
It's on my list too.
7 p.m.
What is it on my list?
I'm awake at that time as well.
I'm also awake.
7 p.m.
It is the. It is the slightly.
7 p.m. is the more mature person's.
Not more mature in a good way.
You know what I mean?
7 p.m. is the older person's 9 p.m.
Oh, because you're like in the groove of you're off work.
You're off work.
You're off work.
You're definitely home most
likely home from your commute
because I'm not home an hour earlier
yeah right I've felt like it like
I sort of I'm wrapping
up but 7pm I'm usually home
that's when the Simpsons was on
syndication when I was
a kid but getting a prime time
starts or is that 8
well Sunday night prime time started Well, Sunday night primetime
started at 7. Sunday night primetime
started at 7. That's when King of the Hill was on.
But it's also
like 7pm is a good time to go out for
dinner.
It's not all early. You don't feel like
am I a grandparent? Why am I going out for dinner
so early?
But you're not waiting until
later where you're like
really hungry.
7 p.m. to me is like the sweet spot for a good reservation.
Or maybe even you go out after for another cocktail.
Oh, wow.
It's always hard to get reservations at a good restaurant at 7 p.m.
7 p.m. is a real hard time to get.
That's like, that's when the tightest reservations are to get.
7 p.m.
I love it.
It's, it's, it's, I love the evening. Evening ism. I love it. I love the evening.
Evening is great.
It's beautiful.
It's an evening. It's fully evening
7 p.m.
I just feel like I've made a couple meal
oriented picks here, but that is kind of how I build
my day out at 7 p.m.
That's fine. Let me get that dinner in.
Perfect time to eat dinner.
Perfect time to start an evening
out. Dinner and a movie
7 p.m movie and a dinner because i eat a lot of late lunches too yeah it's like right exactly if
you had a late lunch you're you're ready for dinner by seven oh yeah 7 p.m in the summertime
when it's still like fully light out that's a good seven that's a good seven 7 p.m at the barbecue
that july 7 yes we're all just getting like we've been
playing dominoes long enough that we're comfortable talking shit to each other
yeah i love it 7 p.m would be it's the perfect weather to go skating most of the time your
body's super warmed up from the day or like football practice it was fun that was like
right in the meat of it for me anyways. When we were like city football. Yeah.
Cause I didn't,
I,
you know,
it was the only time I got to play football.
I didn't get to play a lot in the game.
So for me, for me,
that was like,
this is my football game is it's the practice.
Oh,
that's a damn.
It was fun.
Yeah.
I hated it.
I hated it all the time.
Yeah.
It's right now you get 7 PM like fall weather. 7 PM is so dope. I hated it. I hated it all the time. Yes, I didn't love it.
Right now you get 7 p.m.
Like fall weather, 7 p.m. is so dope.
I love it.
And Max goes to bed in that hour.
It's crisp.
There you go, too.
Yeah, it was when Max goes to bed.
Another reason I picked it.
That's when she starts like,
good looking out.
I appreciate you.
I got you, dude.
Yeah, appreciate you, bro.
Hey, Nolan, time for you to second pick.
I just started writing them down
because I realized I could not remember what we had taken.
So can I just refresh really quick?
We went 9 p.m., 3 p.m., midnight, 11 a.m., 7 p.m.?
Yep, that's right.
Okay.
So with my next pick,
God, I was really going to take 7 p.m.
Yeah, you were, but you can't.
I am going to take, I know, I understand.
And you can't take brunch either.
Is that when you have dunch?
I'm going to do 1 p.m.
The reason I'm going to do 1 p.m.
David goes,
The reason I'm going to do 1 p.m.
is because I can't take all late night
because then it's going to be crazy.
So I'm taking 1 p.m.
because going back to Sean's thing about school,
remember when you had a half day, you get out at 1 and those were the coolest.
You would get out at 1 and then you would all go walk to like the pizza place and everybody would hang out.
And it just felt like a free day.
And that 1 p.m. ruled so hard.
Also, at this time in my life, 1 p.m., I am definitely awake.
That is a thing that's helpful.
Like I'm sleeping until one
sounded like you were lying yeah i'm definitely up at one well i'm saying definitely because like
there's i will i will refuse i can't allow myself to stay in bed that late that's the time that's
like my sure push in case of emergency eject button of like if i'm still in bed and it's
one i'm like i have to get out of bed yeah i get that there's been days i'll let myself when things get sad much like you know
late right 12 55 uh i'll do it but 1 p.m i have to get up and then i'll make the bed and i'll just
sit right back on it i don't give a shit but it's made and i'm not in it because it's 1 p.m
i always felt okay when there was a one on the clock still like when i when i was
sleeping in like that i was like it's all right yeah it's okay yeah but you were a dock worker
till till the wee hours of the morning i worked the midnight shift at the docks yeah yeah which
is a bruce bernstein lyric you know i used to be like i'm gonna be down on the docks later so
you know if you want to see me um other things about 1 p.m they're good like the sun's like up
all the way it's like the it's had a good spot in the
sky you know looks cool in a sundial um and just like the you're it's the day this is the day this
is what the day is gonna be 1 p.m you know what the day is gonna be it's not like oh is it raining
and it's not gonna be rainy all day it's like by the time it's 1 p.m you've got a good outlook on
like here's what this day is gonna look like here's what this day looks like for you in the summer it's the hottest it's gonna be like at 1 p.m and
i like those like 100 degree days sometimes where it's like i'm just gonna go and like feel the heat
for real at 1 p.m go take a walk you know yeah i love it yeah so i don't know i took 1 p.m
fight me about it it's a lunching too. You could get some lunch in there. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the thing about lunch is you can do it anytime after breakfast, really.
You can just have yourself a lunch.
Here's the problem with... It's not a problem with 1 p.m.
This is a conditional...
If you did do the 11 a.m. lunch, 1 p.m. hits hard.
That's true.
That is true.
As I picked it, I'm like, there are times when 1 p.m. is the worst time of true. That is true. As I picked it,
I'm like,
there are times when 1 p.m.
is the worst time of day.
I think I even said it earlier
about like,
we're not near the end of the workday.
We're smack dab in the middle of a day of work.
Where you're just like,
it's fucking one.
Yeah.
One can suck.
It's fucking five hours.
It's got a low ceiling.
It's got a high ceiling and a low floor.
Yeah.
One does.
It's heavy on it sucks yeah yeah
there's some suck there's some suck to one but there's also but there's also some look it's this
and sometimes it's the suck that makes us rule you know sometimes you've got to know what it
is to suck if you want to experience the joys of the rule so That's goddamn right. That's true.
It's just how it is, guys.
So I'm taking 1pm.
Katie fucking Nolan, folks. Proudly.
Katie fucking Nolan.
Sean Jordan, time for your second pick.
What did we...
We're running out of time.
God damn it, Sean, write them down.
Can I share my screen here?
I have it right here.
I'll be writing them down from here on out.
9-3 noon.
11-7-1.
Oh, look at that. It takes up the whole screen.
Now I can't see my friends.
I wish there was a way for it to not.
Me too.
Look at all those fucking tabs, dude.
I'm a working man dude I always get so
surprised how many tabs
people have
it makes my computer go so slow are you on a desktop
no laptop
book book
book oh wait
I'm writing a book
crosswalk the musical
I'm writing a book about
book about January 6th.
Who was there?
Biggest L I've ever taken. Let's go.
Crosswalk the Musical. Our podcast.
What else? NBA Fantasy League.
Tickets to our show.
Nice.
Merce's intro.
This is the place we're going to go get seafood in Seattle.
That looks delicious.
There's their menu.
Your email. Calendar's the menu. Oh yeah. This is email calendar.
Podcast intro.
This is fun.
Twitter tickets to a play.
I'm going to take Diana to.
There we go.
Did you get the pics?
Yeah,
you got them.
There we go.
Uh,
yeah.
So for me,
for my life right now,
uh,
I'm going 10 PM.
It's a good time.
That is for me right now uh i'm going 10 p.m it's a good time that is for me right now that is when
we actually go to bed so we get everything done uh you know max is down we have our chill time
which sometimes she takes like an hour or two to actually go to sleep and then 10 she is asleep
like an hour or two to actually go to sleep and then 10 she is asleep we'll watch like gray's anatomy or whatever and then we are in bed before the 10 o'clock hour is done and yeah so it's like
my bedtime pretty much and i love it all you i mean i can acknowledge that 10 p.m is a good time
for you and that that's yeah true yes for a lot For a long time in my life,
I hated 10 p.m.
Why?
What was wrong with 10 p.m.?
Bedtime.
You didn't see?
It's funny because I'm going,
I never cared really about bed
when you were a kid.
Kicking and screaming.
When I was a kid.
I never cared.
I hated it.
The shop closed for young Ian Carmel.
That was it.
That's all the delights of the day
for you, young man.
Damn.
I think I stopped having a bedtime around middle school was when they were yeah i did too but like up until then as soon as i got a tv in my room that's when bedtime i was gonna say
once they put a tv in my room they could put me in bed whenever they wanted to i wasn't going to
sleep i was like sure yeah i'll go to sleep that's totally now it's a whole i love i love my bedtime
oh i love it now it's funny i never thought i would but now it's like whole, I love, I love my bedtime. Oh, I love it now.
I hate it.
It's funny.
I never thought I would,
but now it's like the day is done.
I've cleaned the house.
Like Matt,
all the shit that she puts every,
like it's a chaos.
I clean,
it's all cleaned.
The dishes are done.
Everything's done.
The lights are dim.
The house is where I,
how I want it.
I lay down,
feet up on the Ottoman,
and I just mess around on my phone,
rub Laura's feet.
We watch Station 19 or Grey's
Anatomy or American Horror Story or something.
Station 11? Station 19, bro. It's
fire. What's Station 19?
Station 11 is a great show. Station
19 is a network show? Station 19 is
a spinoff of Grey's Anatomy, but it's
at a fire station.
Station 11.
Great show. Station 19.
Watchable soap opera is what Station 19 is. that's the one on hbo right station 11 that's the one yeah that's right we're talking
about station 19 which is actually a spin-off of gray's anatomy that we heard yeah but anyway
10 p.m for me 11 shakespeare troupe after the apocalypse also if i've done stand-up i'm done
with it if i'm on a one show night i'm done with it. If I'm on a one-show night, I'm done with it.
I'm home by then. I leave the show.
Really?
If I'm doing a show,
I don't hang out afterwards. I just go home.
I just want to make sure
you know that I love you.
I think you're smart and wonderful.
This ain't the first time this has happened.
I hate 10 p.m.
It has a weight to it.
It just,
if I'm still at like,
like if I'm getting home at 10 PM from a standup show,
I'm like,
fuck,
there's the whole night.
That's the whole thing.
I just,
it has a weight to it.
I think I can't shake it.
I think it's,
what time are you going to sleep now?
I cry.
I try to go to bed around 10,
10 30.
Yeah. Right. Right. In that range. You know what I know what i mean like i don't know it's got like it's it i don't know it feels like an empty mall to me
also if i'm still out at 10 i'm having an amazing time i like if i'm still if it's a two-show night
or like if i'm having a night out 10 is perfect i love 10 o'clock there's still there's still fruit there's still meat on the bone maybe if i've decided i'm having a night out, 10 is perfect. I love 10 o'clock. 10 is sweet. There's still fruit.
There's still meat on the bone, baby, at 10.
If I've decided I'm having a night, because I'm not too old to have a night.
I just need to know that I'm having one.
You said you were.
Absolutely.
Whoa.
Oh, Mars has changed.
Oh, Mars, you are.
That's why he's a super producer.
He's a genius.
Super.
Super doesn't even do it anymore.
It has to be like.
She even did it in the order of the day. My God,
you've been the weather
producers out there could take a long walk
off a short pier. Marissa has your number
bro. Brilliant. Yeah. For
those of you who are just listening, Marissa has started
playing loose change in her
window. I don't know how she did it,
but just so we can all sort of be reminded
of the reality of what's going on in the world.
Wow. We're podcasting.
10 p.m.
10 p.m.
Ian's favorite hour of the day.
I don't like it.
The true brunch.
The witching hour.
Do not like the true brunch.
Now, if you're having brunch at 10 p.m., we can talk.
That's a conversation we can have.
David Bore, time for your second and third picks.
Second pick.
This is a weird one.
It's very late. I'm taking 3 a.m
what yeah because if it's 3 a.m we're all in whoever's with me whoever's around what we're
doing it's an app we're all in we're all decided that like we ate these mushrooms or we're in this
hotel room or whatever or we're playing uno in this fucking lobby a.m and we're all decided that we ate these mushrooms or we're in this hotel room or whatever.
Or we're playing Uno in this fucking lobby.
3 a.m.?
And we're doing it.
That was in 3.
Because we're fucking grownups.
And we're a band of brothers and sisters.
That's true.
If you're, if it's like, if it's like, if you hooked up, we're like doing that weird.
David's eyes got so big.
Not in the same room not at my house uh yeah no if yeah if you hooked up you're doing that weird post coil get to know each other thing it's just like it's just like it it's one of those ones if
you're in you're in and i like that about three right the training wheels of the bar has been taken away and it's like now we're all still hanging out just without that you know
what 3am is that's a good point for members only yeah they trim that you know there's people
there's people who are like i'll make it till three and you're like no you won't and then you
get the crew that makes it and you're like this is who should have made it and this is where i used to be part of that crew you still are wait which i got one in there
every now and again you are part of it you were you were playing three of them dude katie we
walked into this lobby at the festival minneapolis at the hotel and we all go to the dude work and
we're like is it cool if we're we just sit out here and play uno and he goes better here than your room i mean you could be loud down here so we're like yeah dope oh shit
just let us chill in the lobby from at 3 a.m on that's fine you know and that's the thing is i
have so many memories so many like really fun times i've had in my life yeah yeah and have been
that like you got loose at the bar and now we're really hanging. It can go wrong, but it's special.
Most of the time, it's good. I haven't had a lot of
bad 3 AMs. Most of the time,
all things considered,
it's pretty good. Here are some bad
3 AMs.
8 AM flight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You went to bed.
You made that choice. You knew it was a flight. I'm saying you went to bed Yeah but you made that choice
You knew it was a flight
I'm saying you went to bed at
10pm
And for some reason you're up
And you're just like fuck
3am when you got something to do tomorrow is the
I'm not getting good sleep
We're screwed
3am is borderline the I'm gonna just get up now
Oh yeah maybe I'll just get up now.
That's why it's numbers only because if you didn't commit to 3 a.m., it's kind of the worst.
Yeah.
When it comes out of nowhere.
It's pretty bad.
It's also like when I was having really bad panic attacks, they were like at 3 for some reason.
Like when I would wake up in the middle of a panic attack.
Weird, right?
Yeah.
Mine were at 4.
I always wake up and bad things happen at 4.
Well, not to name other times.
Well, listen, that's not getting taken.
I think we all knew when we started this thing.
That's the one that's awful.
That was one of the four hours.
You know that song, do you guys know The Used?
Am I the only person in the world who listens to The Used?
But they have that song where they're like,
it's four o'clock in the fucking morning.
And every time it was happening to me,
I had that song stuck in my head on a loop,
which is always fun.
It's the worst time. It's not a good time. Anyway, keep going, keep going, head on a loop, which is always fun. It's the worst time.
It's not a good time.
Anyway, keep going, keep going, keep going.
We can discuss it right now.
That's the worst fucking time.
It might get picked.
All right, all right, all right.
That'd be crazy.
3 a.m.
Although I picked 3 a.m.
I'm with you.
Yeah, but I do love it.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I do love it.
I really like...
It is a high...
What is good is so good.
It's a time of wild swings.
Yeah!
It's also if...
Yeah, that's a really good point.
But at 3 a.m., if you are asleep, you're asleep.
Yeah, you're out.
Yeah, that's true.
It's not like early, usually early sleep, and it's not really late.
You're like REM cycle.
3 a.m. is a REM cycle, which is also a good thing.
I mean, we're not conscious for it, but I bet we love it and appreciate it.
Why not give it credit?
The credit it deserves.
Right.
3 a.m. 3 a.m.
3 a.m.
All right.
And next, I am going to.
Already it is.
How is it possible?
It already is.
It is already tight.
Oh, you know what I like lately?
8 a.m.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not so early that you're like, fuck, this is too much for me.
But it is like, I'm up.
I'm out.
The sun is shining.
There's birds.
Children go to school.
Like, I was walking around my neighborhood the other day at 8 a.m.
And I was just like, it's the beginning of the day, but not so early that it's a burden.
You know what I mean?
This is my fault.
I'm bringing baggage to this pick.
And then I like this pick.
There's a lot of baggage coming with these picks.
Yeah.
It's because we all had to criticize all of these all day to pick the ones we were going to want to pick.
And so I know all the negatives of every hour.
It's that.
And it's also, I didn't want, you know,
you don't want it to become a congratulations society.
We all love each other.
I'm just trying to like, this is my personal beef.
And I think 8 a.m. is a great fucking pick.
And I'll go through this one.
That's when, when I have to leave for work.
That's rush hour traffic.
Always in traffic on Los Feliz at 8 a.m.
Knowing I have to jump on a zoom while i'm driving pretty soon and it's just i'm just like i get that and the flip side of that coin is
8 a.m on a day i'm not working it's beautiful it feels it's the one the day feels fresh it feels
so fresh it's the ripest apple it's also too early for contact does that make sense oh i love that
so it's like 8 a.m no i'm not talking to i don't have any dumb ass emails i'm not i don't have to
call my manager what i don't i never have a meeting at 8 a.m i never have a call i never
have to be doing me personally i don't know shit I should do rarely before 9. Rarely before 9.
It's just the morning.
It's just pure morning.
And I love it.
What does fatherhood bring to 8am, Sean Jordan?
Well, it's she's up and it's when it starts
to get hectic. We're going to talk about it
in moments.
But that's when it starts to get
hectic. Because that's when it starts to get hectic
because that's her getting up and then your day
is like, I don't get any
decisions anymore at 8am.
Now you have to have two days at once. You're having your day
but her day is kind of more important.
She takes a shit, she eats.
We have to get her dressed.
We have the same 8am baby.
We gotta lotion her up.
I have a baby's 8am.
Did you hear the other part? We gotta lotion her skin because she has eczema sometimes so like we have to
literally the same 8 a.m yeah yeah we gotta put lotion on the baby at 8 a.m and anything earlier
than 8 a.m feels like like the day is being unreasonable that's like 8 a.m is a sneaky
good pick if you have to take a morning pick 8 a.m
is the best yeah that's where i got it where i was like yeah it's the start of the morning you're
you're not pissed that you're there you're like okay eight i can you also get to be proud of
yourself for being awake early yeah any like any earlier is unreasonable any later you're like well
come on what a low bar you set for yourself. Especially for me because I like, like I said, my first...
I have a schedule of things that I gotta
do, but nothing ever starts
before 10, really. So like, for me,
it's like, I wake up at 8, I'll do
some shit and I'll be like, you know, I don't even have to work for
like two hours.
Yeah.
And I hate
the morning, so sneaky good
pick. Don't do it. sneaky good pick. Can I go?
So you brought up fatherhood, and I was going to pick this
anyways, but for me,
I like
to be up before
her. I like to be up before
there's anything going on.
And I like to be up before the sun.
So I'm going to pick 6 a.m.
And I'm really picking 6 30 about 6 30 oh my
god i love it i get up that's never not been an obligation for me so now i get up i wake up it's
always a mandate of like you gotta be i wake up naturally at a little after six most time and then
uh i'll go make my coffee the sun's not up yet and And the house is quiet. Nothing's going on. I'll sit and
have coffee. I'll watch skate videos. And then I have a little time before the day gets going.
And I know that nothing else is going on. There's no fear of missing out at six in the morning. I
know that I'm the only one up. And I know it's wild. And I know even five years ago, if you'd
have told me that, I'd say you're lying in the future. You're a liar.
But now, right now, me, I do honestly enjoy the morning because I wake up naturally and I don't mind it.
That is wild to me because I'm thinking back on our friendship.
I don't think I've ever seen you at six in the morning.
I don't think I have.
I've seen you at six.
Yeah, on the other end.
On the other end.
I didn't expect this to be received with uh with a
ton of uh you know agreeing opinions but also that's fair to to just to go to that point for a
second if i if there's a 6 a.m on the other end uh sometimes it's bad it's been a long time
i mean i'm worried that's when even at my even at our wildest i was like this has gone too
far it's like it's when i start to feel bad when the sun comes up you're like okay i gotta go to
where i'm like oh fuck i shouldn't 6 a.m is one of like three hours i never want to see yeah yeah
it was when we when i wrote my list it was the one I was like, what's the worst one?
I put 6am for the literal worst.
I like it now.
I never thought I would.
COVID, when COVID first hit, I was getting up much earlier on my own, and I loved it.
Really?
Much earlier.
What time were you going to sleep?
I was going to bed about 10.
But I was so no drinking.
I was working out a ton or skating a
ton but like something about how that was going i only needed like six hours of sleep a night
and i would just wake up and be stamped here's what 6 a.m can do for me fuck right let me go
back to sleep for an hour also give that a little credit because when you wake up at six which does
rule which does rule when you wake up and you look and it says six and you're
like,
yes,
that's the one.
It is the right amount of time.
Cause if you wake up in the,
like,
like we were saying at three,
it's a bummer or whatever.
But if you wake up at six and you think it's time to go to work or
whatever,
but it's not,
and you have a decent chunk that,
you know,
you can go back to sleep.
That's kind of fun.
But I like being up at this in the six o'clock hour.
Now,
not all the time, but a lot of time.
I also, it's like Katie said, it's so tied to obligations with me.
Every time I have to go wake, be up at six, it's a plane.
Also, let me say, it's panic.
So it's like the beginning of a long day.
I like the morning in an airport.
My eyes hurt.
I still like that.
It's fun to me.
Like going to the airport.
That's because you're drunk. No, not yet. You airport. I still like that. It's fun to me. Like going to the airport. Because you're drunk.
No,
not yet.
You get drunk.
That's because you're about to get drunk.
But I,
I,
the something about the morning in an airport,
I'm still so excited that we get to do what we,
not that you guys aren't.
I just comics in general.
I still love that.
We do it.
Ian's flipping everyone off right now.
I still love that.
We do it.
I'm waving my,
I'm waving my i'm waving my
hands off like the field goal miss i'm telling you brother do 30 weekends next year you won't
well it's also like there's the morning at an airport you are next to there's some guy in
khakis reading the london financial times farting so hot he's hot farting he his farts could melt
steel he's hot farting next to you
there's another part there's two people in falcons jerseys having a fight next to you
some guys listening to like music on his phone i'm always excited i'm walking around the airport i
don't i'm not sedentary a lot at the airport i like walk around but oh man the people are mad
and angry because they were all up at six too but you also you also get there early right i get
there hella early yes yeah i don't do that in the morning is good is like it can be fun
why it'd be fun i just i can i can have fun at six in the morning i respect you and i never
thought that i would be able to do that but now that getting up doesn't suck that bad here's what
i'll say because i don't ever have to go into work. Like I have to get up and I have responsibilities.
I have a child and everything,
but I don't have to go into work.
So I don't have to,
there's no traffic.
There's no,
I can wear what I want.
I can drink.
I,
you know,
there's no like real rules.
So it can,
it's a lot more fun now than it was when I had to get up for work.
Then it was terrible.
I hated it.
Six,
6am just feels hot.
And it was hot and sharp. Oh man sharp man or like i remember i used to i used to work the early shift and like during the winter bro you'd have to like
shovel the walk for yeah shovel the walk and like start your car do that and oh god i used to that
was insane having to start your car that's the pain that some people don't know.
But you remember.
Yeah, but I still, I can handle it now.
Remember when you said you picked,
that your first pick was because of school?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So does this not apply to the 6 a.m. time?
6 a.m. has historically been the suckiest time of day.
Historically, but not now for me.
I like it.
He's a sick man.
I'm just saying that your strategy is all over the place.
I'm not saying that I judge you as a person.
I'm not against you.
And some of these picks I could see making sense.
It's just you said what your strategy was.
And then you didn't stick to it.
And then you're not holding to it.
Putting aside our absolute love and respect for each other,
it's a shit pick.
It's awful.
Hey, it's okay, brother.
It's all right, man.
It's 6 a.m.
Showing its face this early in this draft is...
Katie.
A pox upon us all.
I thought that was one that wasn't going to get taken.
I didn't expect it to be welcomed, so I was ready.
It's selfish.
I mean, listen.
You're talking to four different people who have four different days, clearly.
We do have four different days.
Anyway, yeah, 6 a.m.
Now that we all agreed that it's dope, let's move on. Can I pick? Can I pick? people who have four different days clearly you have four different days anyway yeah 6 a.m now
that we all agree that it's dope let's move on dude i'm so torn here because i feel like um
if i really were doing this honestly to my heart i would just take the latest hour i could every
time it was my turn but that's not an interesting draft and but now i'm looking at some of these
times and i'm like i kind of want to take an earlier one, but that's not being true.
That's not really how I live my life.
6 a.m. off the board.
I know.
6 a.m. off the board.
I was going to take 6 a.m., and then Sean was like, me.
And I was like, no, don't.
But I need it.
I'm going to take 8 p.m.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'm taking 8 p.m.
Right now, 8 p.m. is like Dan'sM. Right now, APM is like Dan's home.
If he doesn't have sets, he's home.
So we're usually like eating dinner,
watching Jeopardy because we have it DVR'd.
So we watch it whenever we want to.
Your fiance, Dan.
Yes, my fiance, Dan Soder.
I love it.
I don't know.
I just feel like it's the time when you get to have a little time before bed for a lot of people. It's not for me. It's kind of like the beginning of my night for me. But but if you're a person that goes to bed early, that I imagine is like you're I'm watching my show that I love or like I'm I get to, you know, do papier-mâché in my room by myself before I go to sleep so i think it's a good time i mean the sun's down it's dark right
it's night time kids i feel like would be back from their after school things so it's just like
the gathering hour everyone's kind of in for the night it's when a lot of things start yeah it's
like curfew it's like come in sit down watch this yeah you hate 8 p.m it's like well like it's like i just get very antsy around
that time if i'm not going out then i'm like interesting especially if like the house is
clean and i've like done everything i'm just like none of this is supposed to be doing i feel
settled if i'm not going out i don't love it pm. is when the gauntlet gets thrown. I either have to do something or I'm probably not going to do anything.
Decisions are made.
That's right.
Decisions are made at 8 p.m.
And that can be great like that.
Because if I'm like, fuck it.
I'm like, that's kind of last night.
I was like, yeah, all right, let's do it.
But then sometimes I fully decide like, okay, I'm in.
And then I embrace being in, which is most of the time.
And then it rules.
Also, yeah. It's also probably getting ready time too. And And then it rules. Also, probably getting ready time, too.
And I hate getting ready.
So I probably shouldn't have picked it.
If I'm going to go out and get into trouble, 8 p.m. is like when I just make that decision.
Yeah.
Where you just feel like, fine.
All right.
What shoes am I wearing?
Yeah.
All right.
I'll text you back.
If you didn't take 8, it would have been my second pick in my hot corner there because it is
it's also when the day lets go of you business
wise at least in my line of work
it's kind of like
when David when you were like they can't
contact me at 8 it's like they can't
really after 8pm you're like
you at least question before you send the
email like sorry to send this so late
get back to me tomorrow
I'm like, for my
job, which again, it's like I'm
privileged. It's a high paying,
but also high asking job. I give
myself an eight to eight and anything
before or after that, you're not going to get it from
me unless it's a fucking, like unless it's an
emergency.
Yeah, 8 p.m.
Fantastic.
Time for my
my next thing that I wanted is still on the board. I am taking, yeah, yeah, p.m fantastic that's what i took 8 p.m my my next thing that i wanted is still on the board
oh i am taking yeah yeah yeah i'm trying to think of the right way to i i am taking
the i'm taking the gentleman's midnight 11 p.m
the gentleman's midnight was the perfect way
to market your new cologne line
that you're going to make.
The Gentleman's Midnight.
The Gentleman's Midnight.
This cologne smells like 11 p.m.
The Gentleman's Midnight.
That's really good.
11 p.m. is the Gentleman's Midnight.
It is a time for,
like when I was a kid,
I was like 11 p.m.
That's when you got Leno,
you got Letterman. That's when you get Saturday Night Live starting to fire up specifically labeled as late night and
you were like I made it late night you're out there you're at like martini glasses
fine Corinthian leather you know what I mean street lights on the freshly waxed mercedes-benz driving you know downtown
it's 11 p.m i mean that's true as a kid i loved 11 p.m yeah it was i think that was our curfew
so when we were kids that was the city curfew if i'm not mistaken if you're under 18 the city had
a curfew you had to be you couldn't be out after 11 so if you were you felt gnarly because we would
we'd like to sneak around the city i swear it was 11 p.m but that was when we thought we were dope
we were like actually breaking a law it's the hour now where i would look at dana and say look at us
out of 11 as a kid too it was like when my parents would go to sleep i feel like about yeah yeah and
it's when i could go to sleep and still feel i'm like i stayed up till 11 parents would go to sleep i feel like about yeah yeah and it's when i could
go to sleep and still feel i'm like i stayed up till 11 i can go to bed now like i've done i i
really it's not 9 30 i got a little more juice out of the day it's not embarrassing to go to bed at
11 i can go to bed at 11 and i can still get my like i don't like an airport at 11 p.m that's
what i don't like oh that's the worst the worst, too. I'm almost never there.
That's when I land sometimes
in Portland after those East Coast
flights, it'll be 11. It's like, oh my
God, this is a bummer.
I landed 10 next Saturday
and I'm already like, oh.
People are just sleeping.
No, that's not true.
I landed 10 for the Portland show on Saturday.
I left early.
Also a bummer getting to the airport before the people that work there.
Like seeing them open up a Hudson News and you're like, what?
Have you ever gone to a regional airport where you're like the first flight out?
No.
And the door isn't even open?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Where you get there a little bit before and you just got to wait outside?
Traverse City.
That's like seeing the Chuck E. Cheese dolls without their faces on.
You're like, I shouldn't see this. I'm not supposed to see this.
That happened to me in Traverse City and they knew
the person behind. So they opened the airport
for us essentially. And then I walked
in and the person behind me, they were like, Steve
or whoever it was. They knew him.
It was crazy.
Weird. Yeah, man. The Gentleman's Midnight.
That's fun. Yeah, 11.
11's pretty cool. 11pm. It's a's midnight. That's fine. Yeah, 11. Yeah, the gentleman's midnight though. 11 p.m.
It's a good time.
It's a solid dude.
That was my third pick.
Well, while I mull over this next pick, let's go ahead and take a short break.
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And we're back.
It's the gentleman's midnight.
11 p.m.
It's just been taken.
You're listening to all fantasy, everything already in progress.
Ian Carmel has both 11pm. It's just been taken. You're listening to All Fantasy Everything already in progress. Ian Carmel has both 11s.
The gentleman has both 11s.
Oh wow, I didn't notice that.
And to the gentleman holding both 11s.
This next move is crucial.
Because after I make this pick,
it gets...
It gets bleak.
I think I know what it is then.
Yeah, there's only one I feel like real good go-to right now.
There's two I'm bouncing between.
I got another stinker that no one's going to like.
Well, you don't count.
No one's going to give a hot rip about my next fix.
I'm all good.
Okay, I got to take it.
I got to take 6 p.m.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it's now.
This is a boring pick, but it's a fucking solid one.
It is.
It's sunset.
It's quitting time.
Yeah.
On a heart on a on a mildly hard day.
It's dinner time on a fairly easy day.
It's it's just it's you need. It's just, you need it.
You need 6 p.m.
The news.
It's like, it just, that time represents the like,
end of day business.
It's like a, yeah, it's like a,
it's a sturdy time.
There's a game on a lot of times.
There's a game on, yeah.
Depending on where you are.
That's true.
Yeah, not on the East Coast as much, but definitely on the West Coast.
Also, if I'm going to have
a real fun night, six is usually
when I get started. If I'm going to
have a... Like, you know, Seattle.
Like, if we're going to have... Six? Yeah, probably.
That's about the time where I'm like... It's like
supper time. Sean gets after it. Yeah,
I get it. Dang. That's almost...
That's borderline day drinking.
Oh, I'm scared all of a sudden.
It's the first time that's not.
It's the first time that's not day drinking.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah, all right.
Evening, the sun's moved a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is that you're not always, you're not often having a lot of fun at six, but you need it.
It's part of any good day.
Also, a real good time for like a patio beer when,
when summer's like middle of summer.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Six o'clock.
Cause it's like a lot of people getting off work.
It's a lot of happy hour stuff.
So that's another good thing about six.
You get happy hour almost everywhere.
I have a negative,
I have a negative connotation to six.
I think it's because that was when my shifts would start.
I feel like I worked.
That was when work started for me a lot.
Like in a restaurant.
That must be it.
I see the good in it, but I'm also like,
something about it makes me go, oh.
I would bartend sometimes.
I'd get the six to close shift, and it'd be like, ugh.
No, everybody there at six, it's a bar I worked at.
They were pretty bust.
Mine usually started at four to five.
Yeah, you get an early shift, then like if you got the late one that meant you were there all night you had to do all of the closing of it and you were there at like six was like
that makes sense i was more restaurant than bar yeah yeah the bar can be it depending on where
you work it can be sad at six o'clock it can be great and it can also not be great. It could be a real like,
oh man, your whole paycheck, you really
want me to cash your paycheck here?
I mean, I'm gonna. If I'm home at 6
though, if I worked that day
and we shot a show and I'm home at 6,
I'm fucking happy. I'm like over the moon.
That's a good feeling when you're like.
And I get to be awake now for like 4 hours
at home with my wife.
This is great. I love it. 6 p.m four hours at home. Like with my wife. This is great. Yeah.
Fuck it.
I love it.
6 p.m.
Katie Nolan, time for your fourth pick.
It's getting tight.
It is, dude.
I'm looking at this.
Yeah, I'm having a tough time.
I am going to take 1 a.m.
Oh!
Okay.
That's what I was going to do.
Yeah, that's good.
That's what I was going to take.
I'm going to take 1 a.m.
was good that's good that's what i was gonna take um i'm gonna take 1am for me right now what 1am is is like um when we split off into our own we get like an hour before bed dan will watch wrestling
and i'll play video games in my room yeah it's like the last like hour and then we go to bed at
two so like that's my 1am so i really like 1am a lot. But I feel like in my life, 1 a.m. was like the cooler.
If 11 is the gentleman's midnight, I felt like 1 a.m. was like midnight for the bad kids.
I stayed up until midnight.
I stayed up until it was like an hour of the next day.
We didn't leave until 1.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a good time to go home.
It's a good time to like, don't know i think 1am is
pretty cool we in the industry we call it the ne'er-do-wells midnight there's the gentleman's
midnight midnight and the ne'er-do-wells midnight i never forget i never remember that old word
we use ne'er-do-well yeah do well 1am is a good time if you've been out it's a good time to leave
before like last call you still feel before yeah yeah i made it to feel responsible I made it to one I wasn't the last one there
but I made it to one
I mean I was out but I went over one
1am solid to
if there's one downside
we're at the point
you don't have to be sensitive about it
just because you were very mean to me a couple drafts ago
it's okay
it is
it is the let's is the brunch next one absolutely not god why are you driving the steak between us we could
build a breakfast steak by the way for lunch or breakfast uh it is when if you're if you're like
out and you're like we're gonna live forever and then you look at your phone and you're like one oh it's forever
oh the night's almost over it's when more it's when when it's it is when it's when you were
reminded of death yes especially the moment especially if that 3 a.m hang isn't happening
you're like oh this is the end of it you're like i only got an hour left i just feel like i it's
i agree with you and now if i could just rebuttal um please please i just feel like i don't have a lot of nights at this point in my life when
i'm out at one hoping everyone's gonna keep going all like yeah i know that feeling you're talking
about in like a mythical sense i remember it being fabled once but i don't at this point i'm not like
we're gonna keep going guys it's like can we all get
out of here at one o'clock you're never like where next yeah i'm like i want to take these
shoes separate houses all of us separate separate places i'm a hundred percent with you your whole
yeah that's what you do at one a.m i want to go to bed i want to be asleep at one a.m at this
point but i'm thinking back to like pre-pandemic us at the roost i look at my phone so when we were all in that movie can't hardly wait i totally oh that
just came on netflix by the way just just came on netflix for anybody who's not paying attention
it's good man it's always good who's not plugged in anyone who's not plugged into the haps on the
net even embry should have got so much more shine than he did in just in the industry uh he got
plenty of shine in my heart.
I had such a crush on that little weirdo.
Also, Jason Segel's sneaky little part in Can't Hardly Wait.
He's one of the guys.
He's in Can't Hardly Wait?
He's one of the guys.
He's like Preston.
He wears shirts and he's got hair.
One of those guys.
One of them is Jason Segel.
Sign me up.
I love Ethan Embrace.
Am I wrong?
I hate to do this. About what?
About that being Jason Segel. We didn't even know.
We took you at your word.
Did you lie to us? You're right about liking Ethan Embry.
Yeah, Ethan Embry fucking rules in that movie.
Did you lie to us? Answer Katie's question.
No, I didn't. Well, I didn't
knowingly lie to you. I'm going to check
right now. I'm almost
positive it's Jason Segel. Also,
the kid from what about bob
charlie korsmo he's up in there korsmo peter facinelli i forgot he was in there too man
this movie's okay is this a what about bob back making up people for sure peter facinelli was
the guy in the band wasn't he hey peter facinelli donald no the band though was stacked donald
faze on um uh who's that breckin meyer yeah oh yeah donald
phase out reminiscing about this movie and get to your fourth pick right uh go ahead sean you
heard me say donald phase out jason siegel i did jason siegel was in it uh so me i'm picking good
glad we cleared that up 10 a.m uh and that is because right now that is the only time that you could set your watch to where Maxine
goes to take a nap
and no fuss, no questions
asked. She takes a nap
almost every day at 10 a.m. on the
dot and when she goes
to bed, it could take hours, it could
take five minutes. When she takes a nap
at 10 a.m., it's always 10
a.m. on the dot.
I am your daughter yeah you were really
asking our listeners to adopt a maxine centric view what do you want me to do man if you don't
give a shit about maxine which i disagree with as a worldview but if that is your worldview then
i'm sorry about this podcast for you you could adopt the children whatever i mean it's the light
it's i i have to go off what's happening kind of i. I mean, I tried to deviate a little bit,
but that is my entire life right now.
I mean, and that's fine,
but I really wish, Mars,
if we could run the tape back
of specifically what this man himself said
at the beginning, his preamble to this draft.
I was going to pick one in the morning.
It would be silly to go off of my life right now
because my life right now is so different
from how my life has ever been.
So I'm going to kind of go off of my whole life as a whole. This was your almost word for word. I was going to
pick 1am because that's when I was on national television, but I couldn't pick that because
somebody stole it. And that's how you shut somebody up, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes, he was. Yes, he was on the Columbia Broadcasting System, absolutely crushing it.
But I took it because that's when Sean Jordan was on television.
Yeah.
That's why I picked it.
I know I didn't say that before, but I meant to.
And I took 11 p.m. because that's when I started to get really excited about him being on national television.
Exactly.
That's when you started to be like, sit down.
We got to get snacks planned.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
10 a.m. is what we're talking about.
I, a lot of times now, will have lunch at 10 a.m., which is insane, but that's like...
No, you don't.
I have breakfast.
You have breakfast.
I have breakfast.
Sorry, what?
I have a late breakfast at 10 a.m.
because I'm like, she's down, so I can just eat.
So I'll have some wild shit at 10 in the morning.
And it feels weird.
Is that your first meal of the day?
Yeah.
So sometimes I'll have like a burger or mac and cheese with coffee.
So it's funny how that goes.
I like that. Mac and cheese and coffee? I's funny how that goes i like that mac and cheese
and coffee i'm a coffee with every meal i don't mind it i but i'm iced coffee too so it's almost
like water honestly um well you're also silky milk or milky so i can be silk milk i can be
i can be milky milky if you do me right no no you can't of the times we have left, listen, 10 a.m.
We don't have a lot to go on.
My next pick will be panned
by the critics as well, but I don't give a rip.
Panned by the critics!
I'm not panning
10 a.m. I think 10 a.m. is a good pick.
You're the main panhandler
on this podcast.
I'm panning the motivation. I think 10 a.m. is a
fine time. I enjoy 10 a.m. I'm usually up. I'm always up, actually. You're Pantera, dude. I'm panning the motivation. I think 10 a.m. is a fine time. I enjoy 10 a.m.
I'm usually up.
I'm always up, actually.
You're Pantera, dude.
I'm always up.
That 10 a.m. second cup of coffee.
Did you just call him Pantera?
Did I?
That's awesome.
Maybe.
Yeah, good.
Respect.
Walk.
8 a.m. was your last pick, David Borey.
Time for your fourth and then your final pick.
Okay.
I mean, it's weird, but for what we got, I got to go 9 a.m.
Yeah, 9 a.m.
Solid.
Fuck you.
In the thick of the morning, you know.
Do you want to base this pick at all on just one other person in your life
who isn't at all applicable to most of the listeners
or the other people on the podcast? Oh, they got
kids. I get DMs. They got kids.
Everybody's got
a max in their life.
We do get wildly
I wish that's what my DMs say.
I get big gnarly dudes who
don't look like they're going to DM me about a vasectomy
DMing me about a vasectomy is what I get.
I mean, kind of same.
Kind of same.
The verbiage is a little different.
It's not necessarily about,
it's about a procedure of the penis.
And it's cutting for a different reason.
A procedure of the penis.
Yeah, 9 a.m., late morning.
If you happen to be up really early,
if you happen to get up kind of early,
it's like, it's late.
I don't know.
It's fine.
It's pretty out.
It still smells like morning.
Yeah, it's my sleeping in.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah, I'm not really hitting nine these days in bed.
It's like it's like late.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Nine a.m. is good.
And then.
Yeah, what's the rest of these times? I don't know. 9 a.m. is good. And then... Yeah, the rest of these times I don't really care about.
I guess I will take...
5 p.m. Notorious quitting time.
Oh, yeah.
5 is still up there.
It's quitting time.
It's good.
It's like the day's turning. You know know what i mean if you don't have a commute
5 p.m i could see ruling if you do have a commute i could see it being like the final
shit part of your day it's like but it's also like when you start to pivot to look towards night
like 5 p.m for me it's like oh what am i gonna do for dinner what am i gonna what's my plan
you know so yeah 5pm 5pm
it's a respectable time maybe the last one on the board
it's very adult
5pm isn't great if you hate deadlines
that's true
I am running out of time
I have to get this done
when someone says EOD that's what they mean
5pm is EOD
yeah 5pm is EOD
which is a good there's a bright side and a dark side to it the dark side is you're up against it says EOD. That's what they mean. 5 p.m. is EOD. 5 p.m. is EOD.
There's a bright side and a dark side to it.
The dark side is you're up against it.
Should have done it earlier.
Yeah.
5 p.m. Sean Jordan.
I don't know. 2 a.m.
It was bar closing when I was a bartender.
2 a.m.
You were so quiet.
What? You just said it.m you're so quiet what you just said you missed your pick
i don't know yeah 2 a.m it just it's not great but it was like when i bartended for a long time
it was you get off also like i did for quite some time close the bar down constantly so it was when
somebody was like you have to leave we were right there yeah you have we were right there uh
and also in portland when i first got here was kind of fun because that wasn't uh it was a very
loose bar close back in south dakota is like the law and here they're like i don't know whatever
stick around for a minute so it was new to me kind of where you could still be in a bar after two
you also might have taco bell in your system during this hour because if the bar
closes oh yeah two and you're leaving you've eaten it by three you know what i mean this is the
this is the taco bell hour you get home and yeah like you get the food you put on whatever the
depart i put on the departed or the town or something of that nature and uh yeah you might
have another beer or two, sit,
talk a little bit with your friends,
your roommates.
Sneaky.
It's sneaky rules.
Yeah.
It's like,
it's cause you're done with the bar. Right.
And now you're eating whatever it is.
You're watching whatever movie,
maybe you're passing the Xbox controller,
you know,
on watching YouTube videos or whatever.
Like it doesn't feel like you're doing anything insane yet because the
business you were just at closed.
So you're like a business was still open. i can't be doing something crazy because at three
you're like all the everything you know i've been out of the business for a while closed for a minute
so yeah you just left a business it's fresh you don't think you're insane as long as you get to bed
soonish you feel like you just you're like yeah it was normal you know everybody was out that late
and they're like no they weren't you and your friends were yeah at the varsity bar and grill
yeah 2 a.m i love it damn dope all right yeah what's left yeah great yeah okay i'm also not
the arbiter i just can share my i think i could have gotten 6 a.m in the fifth round brother
brother i think you could have gotten 6 a.m. in the fifth round. Brother.
Brother.
I think you could have gotten in the seventh round.
Katie Nolan.
Wait.
How many hours?
Wait.
In a pick that surprises us all, the final pick of mine in a draft that I have, looking at it on paper, not great.
Felt good in the moment.
Felt really strongly about what I said.
It's not great.
But I'm going to take 5 a.m. and here's why.
Oh, God.
Hit me.
What?
Because when I have to, there are times we all have to acknowledge,
and this is coming from the leader of late night person,
I hate the morning.
But there are times where you wake up early in the morning
and you feel good in the sense of getting things done.
You're waking up early in the morning to start your first day of doing something, a new routine.
Or you're like waking up really early because that day is like you're a surprise party that you're planning and you have to wake up and get it all done.
You like have a moment where you look out and the sun is like not there,
but kind of coming up.
It's very quiet outside.
The only people you see out are productive people,
which then makes you be like,
well,
I guess that makes me a productive person.
Thank you.
Get the fuck out of here.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
That's all that happens.
That's so funny.
It usually happens.
Yes,
it is.
Also,
you shit on 6 a.m and then you took five because six is
like people do people regularly wake up at six wait let me explain it five feels special it's
almost so early that it's silly you would never do it two days in a row. But it's so early that you're like, oh, this has to be a remarkable, very different day.
I'm waking up at 5 a.m.
People who wake up at 5 a.m. all the time are insane.
That's crazy.
But I bet I could see as somebody who has done it like once or twice and then gotten things done.
I could see people liking the time of day when like the only people around you are
crushing it, which makes you feel like you must also be participating in crushing it.
It's better than four.
There's nothing on the table.
Yes, there is.
There's nothing left on the table.
Absolutely. There's a pick that I can't believe.
The other argument for 5am I can give is that if it's not a day when I'm waking up and crushing it,
I am so deep in a REM cycle. Whatever dream I love the most is the dream I'm in the middle of having.
And that is why I'm picking 5 in the morning.
Thank you very much.
I'm just saying.
You came at my man hard on the 6 for eventually taking the 5.
He took it like five rounds ago.
I didn't take it in the second round.
That was a bad call, Sean.
We're really dogging on the afternoon is what we're doing.
The afternoon kind of rules.
I don't like it.
I've never been the biggest afternoon guy.
Except for my final pick,
I can't believe
it's still on the board here.
Really?
I think so.
I'm taking Goodfellas,
which we haven't ever talked about on this podcast.
I'm taking Goodfellas, which we haven't ever talked about on this podcast. I'm taking...
I'm taking Noon.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Why?
Because it's fucking not 5 a.m.
But it's the least...
It's so unspecial.
Noon is just the time that we are all here and not thrilled about it.
Yeah, I don't feel no kind of way about it.
I don't like noon, really.
Noon is just like, oh, okay, that time that thinks it's something special, but really is not.
Like, it feels like it should be in the middle of the day.
It's not.
So it's just kind of like this time that passes.
Noon is, for the fact that it's-
You always got way more work to do at noon, I feel like.
The fact that it's way more work to do at noon I feel like the fact that it's lunch alone
by the way this is the
20th pick of this draft and I just got
just to be clear
it's the 20th pick and I got
what I'm saying we're all dogging on the
on those hours
noon is lunchtime
ish
noon is not
too early to see a movie.
Yeah.
If you're having that kind of day.
Yeah.
Noon is the weather is usually like if it's going to be a nice day, it's starting to get like real nice at noon.
You can't take 1 p.m. arguments for noon.
It's a good time for a duel.
It's just what I said about 1 p.m.
That's hilarious.
If you want to meet someone.
It's a good time for a duel.
Pistols at noon. Pistols at noon.
Pistols at noon.
Yeah.
It's just there.
It's just like.
It's just there.
But it's, yeah, but like 5 a.m. is there, but it's like.
5 a.m. is special.
No, it's not.
5 a.m. when you see it, you're seeing it because it's a special day.
You're having a special day.
Or because you have to catch a flight.
That's not why I'm always.
Well, that, yeah, that sucks. That's like you're saying Benito Mussolini's special. having a special day or because you have to catch a flight that's not why i'm always well that yeah
that sucks that's like you're saying benito mussolini special just give me the italian guy
doing his job noon's it you know you need a good you need a good nose just give me chef boy rd
just give me chef boy rd i don't want the remarkable i'm taking noon because it's boring
because it's fun because i'm having a bologna sandwich
in a small bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
You know what I'm just realizing
is that Marissa only gets to pick
from the shittiest four hours.
What we deem the shittiest four hours of the day.
Yeah, but you know Marissa's got
some fucked up crazy schedule.
I feel like there's no...
I can't call it.
The amount of video games our dear friend plays, I feel like her favorite pick call it. The amount of video games
our dear friend plays, I feel like
her favorite pick might still be on the board.
And let's get to it right now. Marissa, what's your pick?
Well, yeah, there's not a lot of
picks left on the board, so I'm picking a variable
hour, the best time to take photos,
and that is magic hour.
Oh, so that's 7pm?
Is that allowed?
If any of us took it I wouldn't allow it
I would never tell Marissa what to pick
You gotta give me this
I love that you gotta give me this
I'm in charge of this
But I'm not in charge of her
She's in charge of the whole thing
She's the puppet master's favorite puppet master. If anyone wants to try
to tell her not to take the magic hour, I will now
give you 30 seconds. Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
No, I'm fine with it.
There we go. Mercy takes the magic hour.
Probably the best pick of the draft.
Got dicey there.
I'm sweaty. God, I'm looking at it and I'm like,
most of the day sucks, huh?
Looking at my paper being like, most of the day sucks, huh? Looking at my
paper being like, that time sucked, that time
sucks.
So why did we leave on the board?
2 and 4 a.m.
4 a.m. is the worst time. Yeah, 4 a.m. blows.
Followed by 5 a.m.
7, no, no.
Followed by 7, 7 sucks. Followed by
6. I like 7. 7 a.m.
sucks. I actually like seven
well it went undrafted
so that's interesting
to hear you say
well because I didn't
think of a five
I mean I like noon
better than seven
but I didn't think
five or six
were going to get taken
dude you've never
had a good 5am
you didn't think
5 or 6 could be
am?
oh yeah no I didn't
think so either
yeah
well we're agents
of chaos over here
I can't believe
2 and 4pm
are still on the board that's what I'm saying we just hate look 2 over here. I can't believe 2 and 4 p.m. are still on the board.
That's what I'm saying.
We just hate that.
Look, 2 contains 2.30, and my dentist appointments were always at 2.30, and I hated that.
There she goes.
I feel about them like I feel about noon, where it's just kind of like, yeah, I don't
know.
Yeah, 4 p.m. is just like, what's happening here?
I feel like that was when school would call the house, and I didn't like that.
Yeah, that's true.
At least noon has lunch going for it.
2 p.m. has nothing.
2 is a bummer. 2 is like, going for it 2 p.m has nothing two is a bummer
two is like it feels nothing 2 p.m is the only time where it feels like i feel forced to take
a nap like the weather the day is just being like you're gone you're go to sleep 2 p.m right now and
i'm like oh it's too cold for this time of day yeah i love this shit weather man and then four
is well i guess where I'm at
that's where I'm at right now it's 4pm
I'm saying goodbye to my friends 4 is the worst time of the day
on my second coffee
yeah but Dan's gonna bring you another coffee
in like 20 minutes I'm sure
I don't know I feel like he's cosplaying
he's putting on a little show in here
he's a very sweet boy
who I love so much but I'm not getting brought coffee
every 5 minutes in regular life
in front of your friends?
He's got to ramp it up until the wedding.
Comes in in a little bow tie.
Comes in in a purple silk shirt with white pants.
Just comes in.
Goes again.
I'm like, oh my God, thank you.
Hey, Katie, you're right.
And then he just gives you a coffee.
Wow, 5 a.m.
That would have been my first pick.
That's what he said.
You know what?
If you look at my day, though,
I got times from all
different sections.
Well, let's do that. Let's look at all of our days.
David, you went first. You took 9pm,
3am, 8am, 9am,
5pm. You took 8 and
9? Yeah, baby.
Sean, you went second. You took
3pm, 10pm,
6am,
10am, and 2am..m., 10 a.m., and 2 a.m.
Katie, you went third.
You took midnight, 1 p.m., 8 p.m., 1 a.m., and then 5 a.m.
Yeah, dude.
We're out here.
Let's ride.
I went last.
I took 11 a.m., 7 p.m., 11 p.m., 6 p.m., and noon.
You did it.
I'm out here.
Good job.
We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pug. Seriously, let us know why. I'm out here. Good job. We want to hear yours.
Hit us up at all fantasy.
Seriously.
Let us know.
Yeah.
Let us know your order.
All fantasy podcast at gmail.com.
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Thank you for holding us down.
Shout out to everyone on the AFE.
Shaslackity.
The AFE subreddit.
Shout out to the super producer.
Mars Mel. on the ones and
twos during the magic
hour during the witching hour during the
power hour shout out to
power hour
power hour happy hour
to St. Sue Carmel
working those 12 hours but not
for much longer love you mama
shout out to Frankie Ocean shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid
the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more
important than all that, tune in again next week
for another brand new
All Fantasy Everything. that was a hate gun podcast