All Fantasy Everything - Italian TV Characters (w/ Giulia Rozzi, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: February 17, 2022Ciao, fam! This week we ventured into the land of television to draft Italian TV Characters! It's been a long overdue deep dive into listing the great Italians gracing the small screen. Joini...ng this week is comedian and expert Italian Giulia Rozzi! Ciao, fam.  Episode Guest: Giulia Rozzi @GiuliaRozzi IG: @MsGiuliaRozzi  Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.  Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @marsmel IG: @mars.melSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is all fantasy everything.
The podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting Italian TV characters.
And our guest today is the hilarious comedian, writer, actress, podcast host,
does a little bit of everything and is fantastic at all of it,
Julia Rossi. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. And as always, we're joined by my friends and comedians,
Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that finally tried those Flamin' Hot Cool Ranch Doritos
and has a bag of them right by his side.
They're fantastic.
Now, let me just open it up.
Julie and David, you both say that you hate them,
and that's crazy because it's, and we discussed this,
it's Just Ranch and Hot Sauce,
and those go dank on anything I've ever put them on.
Disagree.
Yeah, here's the thing.
It's not just me.
It's my mom.
I gave some to my mom yesterday.
She hated them.
Now it's my family. My husband gave some to my mom yesterday she hated him now my husband hated
them and he loves hot sauce exact my assistant johnny hated him and he's 25 johnny's a ball
of health he's not eating doritos what are you talking about he's not he hates him he hates the
solid brick of muscles not gonna like these shitty doritos i get it you can be brolic at 25 and still
be eating doritos and shit it's's back, by the way. Brolic
is back. I heard it in a song the other
day, and it was Will, right?
Yeah, didn't Will say that he wanted
that to be back? Julia's husband.
Yeah, I said it, but I don't know what to do.
It was slang words.
What's really? I do stuff. I didn't know you
guys were married. I didn't know that.
Oh, that makes more sense. I didn't know
you two were married, but yeah, and he said Brolic should be back, right?
That was Will?
Brolics?
Brolic.
Brolic.
It means like tough.
I said it.
I said it.
I don't even know that word.
It's a word for buff.
It's like buff.
Cool.
Yeah, I think Will said that it should be brought back
as like a slay.
I'm going to buy a gun and I'm going to shoot you.
It's legal in this state.
He does say funny stuff.
David, when you're buying a gun, buy a couple masks.
Start wearing those out in public.
I'm going to quit this podcast today.
It's all I have. Don't quit.
I wouldn't know what to do.
Max, we're moving to an apartment.
She's going to grow up like I grew up.
We're going to grow up in an apartment with a tiny Christmas tree.
In a white ghetto in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Yeah, it's getting more and more.
I'm starting to come around now that I'm 40.
Like, yeah.
You hear, like, why people get shot.
And you're like, yeah, all right.
Here's the thing, Sean.
The fact that you hear people get shot is really what it is.
Like in your neighborhood?
No, in my hometown.
David always makes fun of me because when I tell a story about from back home, he's
like, so the white ghetto is what you're saying.
And I deny it, deny it, deny it.
And I still don't. It's not. But, you ghetto is what you're saying. And I deny it, deny it, deny it.
And I still don't.
It's not.
But some of it is.
For instance, I don't know anyone who got shot growing up.
And I never hear about it happening in Beaverton.
And when it does happen, it's like Intel executive snaps.
It's like that kind of thing.
I don't know.
I don't think there was.
Yeah, anyway.
There wasn't like. It wasn't. People weren't like getting't think there was yeah anyway there wasn't like it wasn't people
weren't like getting shot and stuff but it's you hear about the crime sometimes you're talking
about people getting shot well not that i know uh you just sometimes see the news and you're like oh
someone like downtown or something you know all right yeah it happens i'm just saying all right
all right cool ranch and all to say that the go. Here's my only thing. I think those are two wonderful flavors together.
Listen, I have buffalo.
I'll eat buffalo wings next to any of you.
You know what I mean?
I love a buffalo wing.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I don't know that I need that all in one bag.
I don't need it that in there.
I kind of like to introduce one flavor to the other and then immediately to my mouth.
I don't know if I want them hanging out in a bag for like three months before I eat them.
Like if you have a wing with hot sauce,
you can like,
it's like how I eat wings is I'll like,
I'll have a bite without sauce,
then I'll put it in a dip,
then maybe then I stick some fries in the dip.
And it's kind of like this whole like cornucopia
of like different flavors.
When you just mash the dipping sauce with the meat sauce
you fuck it up that's true you can tell sometimes too because it's like oil and water it's like the
ranch doesn't want to go on to the wing like the sauce would be a little barrier oh they're natural
enemies yeah the chicken wing the chicken wing dip is very much the American hot pot. And I've maintained that about our culinary history forever.
You create the flavors in there and then use this sort of mix them around.
I haven't had chicken wings in a minute.
Oh, man.
You missed the whole wing shortage then.
I did.
I sat out the whole wing shortage.
You missed the whole wing.
Do you own an air fryer?
No, but I'm hearing a lot about it.
You got to get an air fryer and you got to make wings in it. I literally said last episode, when you first get the air fryer no but i'm hearing a lot about it you gotta get an air fryer and you gotta make wings
in it that's i literally said last episode that's when you first get the air fryer it's like a bunch
of possibilities like jason was saying like oh i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna make my own jerky
i'm gonna make cereal he said yeah i'm gonna make cereal and then after a while it's my wing maker
it's that's what i do in there when Wing maker. Also grilled cheese. No way.
So hold on.
To the grilled cheese.
That makes sense.
Do you just seriously get two pieces of bread and cheese and put it in there and it makes
you a grilled cheese?
I mean, you have to put some, I would butter the sides.
You got to spray the inside of the air fryer.
But yeah, you just put cheese between two pieces of bread.
You butter the sides of the bread and then you make sure you flip it.
I think like around five
minutes or whatever and it is uh it's real good dog i'm gonna do it later can i can i bend you
guys's ear to this please i i've been i used it twice in the last week and i really like a good
one i used it in the email and then i was like i'm putting that in real life you could bend your ear in the email yes i am i am growing up fast over
here wow i'm so proud of you david no here's what i'm saying have you ever instead of butter on the
outsides of the grilled cheese have you ever put mayonnaise i've never been able to get myself
there and i've heard a lot about it you guys got to get in there what if you put hot sauce on one
and ranch on the other you're an animal i mean david of all people will be very shocked to hear this often i don't use
butter i use olive oil obviously are you italian i am wow italian use olive oil for everything
i love olive oil i mean why i guess why why butter instead of olive oil i was more of a
sinbad the sailor guy i don't know what that is but it was a popeye joke cartoon character
it wasn't good this this guy's got 16 plates spinning and they're all spinning fast
the uh for the listeners david texted us last night about 10
o'clock and he goes this from last week's episode he goes what's what's the mind goblin joke i'm
dying here i tried to i tried to i tried to do it on a room of people and i have you ever tried to
do a bit and you blow it immediately like it was yeah yeah okay you guys know and i had it in my head and i was like
these motherfuckers don't even know it's coming my mom was there it was gonna crush
i like i got i like i i i blew it so hard i was like well you know because you're gobbling these
nuts or something like i said how do you set it up how do you set it i didn't i didn't i just got because i forgot about mind so i just got into goblin and then it was all it was all
this feels like an inside joke it was good last week yeah so uh it's not it's not even worth
well no uh it's funny i want you to know how bad david it. David, do you want another try at it right now?
Do you want a mind goblin?
I can't.
No, you don't get to do it to me.
I can't do it.
Just tell her what it is.
I can't do it.
We've already established I can't do it.
Well, here's how I did it.
Last night, I did it to my fiance, Dana Schwartz,
and I videotaped it, and now I have a video of it,
but I'm afraid to send it to you guys
because I don't want her to kill me.
Is this like a sex thing?
No, it's like a Deez Nuts thing.
I filmed her and I said, hey, this filter makes you look like a mind goblin.
And she was like, a what?
A mind goblin.
She's like, what's that?
A mind goblin.
She's like, what is that?
A mind goblin.
And she's like, what is a mind goblin?
And then you say, would you mind goblin these nuts? like what is a mind goblin and then you say would you mind gobbling these nuts and then and then she assaulted me he did it correctly and then she goes you're in your 30s
and threw throw pillows at you and stuff i'm officially in my late 30s yeah now imagine a
room full of people i'm bending their ear and i don't do that wait you tried that on stage no I tried it just in a room
of friends that I like oh yeah I tried it seems more like it seems like something you do with a
lover yeah yeah yeah I learned that the hard way I absolutely annihilated Dana with the last night
yeah she really killed it I'm gonna do that to Will you should do it to Will right after this
fuck him up i'll let
you guys know i'll i'll video i really will and i'll send it to you and see how it goes because
we love we love jokes like that that's our favorite bit and then our other favorite bit that we do
multiple times a day is like hey do you want some pizza or this is not a good hey do you want some
chamomile tea you're a chamomile tea like whatever the you know whatever
it is a your uh whatever and then i've been seeing that in like tv and movies a lot lately and i'm
like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa that's a private thing between lovers yes it is for television
it's such a couple's joke it's such a light it's just a nice light comedy bit that you can do with your lover it makes me laugh so hard a social bit so my buddy adam it's it this is one of those things
too where i got this from him but when laura and i are out in public or like going somewhere i will
i'll open the door just enough for me to get in and then i'll slide like so thinly through it
and then shut it especially if it's like a clear door going into like an
i-hop or whatever you just shut the door and keep walking and pray to god somebody saw it
because she's just dying laughing every time and it's it's just gotta confuse them but i love a
social bit like that you know what social bit i like is when you see a baby with a hot parent
you go like whoa did you see that baby's hot boyfriend you guys can use it i like also if
you see a dog roll down the window i got this from marcella arguello's brother roll down the window
and say get a job conversely when there's a dog in front of the house i like to say that dog owns that house like what if like a another woman you know asks my husband like what time it is or like oh excuse
me i'll be like fucking slut and i'll like pretend she like that and what does she mean to you yeah god do i have a laugh and then
my my my favorite bit which is the most annoying bit and my dad used to do this to my mom all the
time growing up but it feels so bad for my mom is he would get in the car first and she would
walk up to open the door and he'd just drive away
slowly just a little bit and she'd be screaming in italian with her hands and she's always like
holding you know a pizza pie when it's happening and uh oh it was such a such a goof i can't wait
i'm gonna integrate that into my life today i can't wait the social bits man we were at the
we took our daughter to the doctor and
it's a teaching hospital that we were at. I heard a doctor teaching these kids, like telling them
something. And I walked by and I was like, and this is a baby. And then I just held the baby
in for a second and then kept walking. The social bits the best. How'd it go over? How old's your
daughter? Yeah, they left. They left. Oh oh how old's my daughter uh eight eight months
coming up on eight months oh congrats thank you cool i gotta backtrack for a second my son is six
years old you never ask maybe boring can you notice the difference between the mayonnaise
grilled cheese and a butter grilled cheese or is it like with the mayonnaise you uh you get that char on the outside a little faster okay but other than
that other than that it's like it's it just it's like a little more flavor than the butter
because mayonnaise it's oil-based you know what i mean yeah i'll try it yeah you guys should you
love it second follow-up question unrelated is your family
coming to uh denver from norway right now because it gets a little too hot there during the winter
olympics like tensions are just the whole country's a little too on edge that is a very good
point we gotta get we gotta bug out for a couple weeks norway during the winter always my mom's
basically been on tour uh in a since christmas so she's just
she's going back after this week okay this is the last stop on her tour she just went to sioux
falls and kind of checked it all out yeah she had to see she had to go to toby jacks
tommy jacks oh oh fuck me i'm sorry that was so different i'm never going there again man
to tommy jacks no they didn't close when they should have and i swore him off and so i'm never going there again, man. To Tommy Jack's? No, they didn't close when they should have, and I swore them off.
And so I'm never going to go there ever again.
Wow, where are you going to get Southwestern Egg Rolls in downtown Sioux Falls now?
I'm going to have to pay people to go in and get them for me.
Tommy Jack's is a fabled South Carolina eatery and drinkery that Sean Jordan frequented quite a bit as a young wayward youth.
Yeah.
And now I can't go anymore because they closed close they didn't close when they should have stayed that man who is uh currently boycotting
tommy jackson sean s jordan on twitter sean cougar melon jordan on instagram sean backwards camel hat
doing a lip thing it's a move man and it says uh camp vibes i got it i got the yeah i ordered it because of yours your camp vibes
hat yep yeah i dig it yep although i will say polar has been taken over by some sort of holding
company who forced the original creative out unfortunate unfortunate but they still make
cool stuff well no i'm not i'm not gonna buy anymore there's that another boycott yeah i'm out here
don't cross boycott jordan dude get get in the crosshairs see what happens yeah uh what do you
wear where uh what the what what what what dude what do you want what do you want tomorrow
tomorrow when this comes out tomorrow i'll be at the comedy corner underground in minneapolis
minnesota and then saturday I'll be there as well.
February 18th and 19th.
Come hang out and see me.
And that's why Julia just went, ooh.
I love it.
That's actually another social bit I realize I do all the time.
When someone's like, I'm going to go have breakfast.
I'm like, ooh.
Fancy.
Cool.
I will be in Rochester that Sunday after on the 20th.
And then I'll be in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, the aforementioned Sioux Falls at Boss's Comedy Club.
He'll be hanging out at Tommy Jack's 24-7.
He'll be standing out there.
Yeah, I just like to, you know, super spreaders.
I like to do what I can.
Yeah.
Boss's Comedy Club, February 25th.
And then I'm doing the Grawlix February 26th at the Bug Theater in Denver, Colorado.
Damn.
If you get down to L.A'm gonna fucking well i miss you where
you live i live in portland portland oregon you used to live here though right i did and um yeah
ian used to hit me a lot and so i lived with ian and he hit me a bunch and then i just i was like
yeah you know i considered our time together a four-year false count anywhere match
i'd burst through the kitchen door with like a two by four you know what i mean i would i'd I considered our time together a four-year false count anywhere match.
I'd burst through the kitchen door with like a two by four.
You know what I mean?
I would leg drop him when he was sleeping.
It was just like, it was fun, dude.
I filmed a lot of it.
Nice.
Always filming goofs.
Always filming goofs.
It was the best.
It just, when COVID hit, oh, here's another social bit.
Whenever somebody clears their throat and I'm anywhere near, I'll just go, go yes so when covet hit uh i just kind of ended up back here my partner lived up here i was going to come back anyways you don't have to explain it you don't have to explain anything
you've done since 2020 yeah nobody has to unless it's murder or overthrowing the government but
otherwise what happened is sean jordan crossed clive davis and
yeah and then he had to get out of hollywood it was too hot he was gonna rip my dick up yeah it
got too hot in hollywood i was gonna show up and just rip it rip it right the fuck off and i was
like no i'm gonna have a daughter clive i need that thing he scooted up he scooted up to portland
oregon once we came right on my butt he did he did a little butt scoot up to portland right up the five uh and got him got himself to the jewel of the pacific northwest david bory is here cool guy
jokes 87 on instagram not on twitter never you blew it you i blew it no they blew you blew it
they listener you didn't blow it getting off you fucking did it before i do my dates i do have a
question i want to ask speaking of social bits bits, my mom was at my house.
Sam Talent was at my house.
Sam Talent was wearing a silk scarf.
I'll buy that.
Yeah, he loves it.
That he bought in Paris.
And my mom goes, ooh la la, Chester Pierre.
And I was like, what the fuck is that?
And she was like, that's a saying.
No.
And I was like, that's not as, she's like, you know, for French people.
And then Sam doubled down and was like, yeah, Chester Pierre.
And then all night they were saying Chester Pierre to make me mad.
But, like, now i'm with you
guys that's not a saying right ooh la la is i've never heard of this chester pierre character
it was a name she was like yeah that's a thing people say chester pierre it doesn't even those
i don't think they're the same language those names no i mean pierre is but chester yeah chester's definitely chester's from
like sheboygan or poughkeepsie yeah i don't know what she's doing i'm looking up chester pierre on
google and i'm finding real i mean obviously sam's gonna back your mom i mean i would have
i found a trinidadian ceo named chester pier Pierre. CEO of what?
The Unveil Group.
David, I heard Chester Pierre is a mind goblin.
It's not.
I'm going to fucking shoot you.
Did you hear that?
Let me say my dates.
I heard it.
I'm not doing mind goblin anymore. You haven't heard that Chester Pierre is a mind goblin, though?
I'm not doing mind goblin anymore.
Have you heard that he's a deez nuts?
March 17th.
March 17th through 19th, I be at the laugh shop or no no no wait first february 26 sean jordan's gonna be in denver i will be in trinidad colorado and
then you're gonna drive back that night to hang out in the next morning uh march 17th through
19th the laugh shop calgary alberta april 7th through 9th the The Laugh Shop, Calgary, Alberta. April 7th through 9th, The Grove Comedy Club, Lowell, Arkansas.
June 10th and 11th, Riot Comedy Club, Houston, Texas.
July 12th through 16th, Rumors Comedy Club, Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Also Michigan.
We are re-getting those dates.
I should be there in May.
When you perform in Lowell, Arkansas, do they call it LOL Arkansas?
LOL?
I call it LOLs. They don't like it., Arkansas, do they call it Lowell, Arkansas? LOL? I call it Lowell's.
They don't like it.
Oh.
They don't like it.
Oh, really?
You know why there's even anybody out there?
No.
It's where Walmart is headquartered.
Oh.
Yeah.
So, like, last time I was there, I ended up at, like, a salsa night with all these dudes.
Like, you wouldn't think there would be a bunch of dudes. You would't think there would be a bunch of dudes
you would not think there would be a bunch of black dudes who can dance salsa in lowell arkansas
but like you're right there's i wouldn't have thought that yeah there's 15 of them and brother
they are cleaning up in there yeah they it was really it was it really blew my mind there are
so many paths you can take in life yeah there are you could be a salsa guy
you could be a salsa guy ivan carmel was a salsa guy so we'll see if it doesn't if it doesn't work
out with if it doesn't work out with dana that is my post-divorce plan is to get in the salsa
and buy a houseboat i'm just gonna follow my dad's path you can you can learn to salsa with your wife no no no no no no no it's a single guy it's not the same
absolutely not that's a different thing i had an ex that uh lied about being an award-winning
salsa dancer because then he tried the salsa dance in front of my friends and they were like
i don't think he didn't make up an excuse
that's when you say no my ankle hurts i can't do it right now make up an excuse? He did it? What a word!
That's when you say, no, my ankle hurts. I can't do it right now.
Yeah.
If you're doing that lie, I'm doing a backwards hat like Sean.
If you're doing that lie, you might as well
double down and then say,
when they ask you to dance, you're like, oh no.
I can never do that again.
Yeah, not after what happened or something.
He wore tight jeans and his little hips would sway
to salsa dance and I just hated myself do that again. Yeah, not after what happened or something. He wore like tight jeans and his little hips would like sway to salsa dance.
And I just, God, I hated myself during that relationship.
Yeah.
Did he have little hips?
His hips did lie.
Oh!
That was an improvised goof.
You just came up with that off the top.
Yeah, I think I'm going to write it down.
That was yours off the top?
I'm going to write it down.
Oh my God.
I heard they do open mics if you just go and tell all your goons i'm gonna go try i'm gonna go try it
that's how jim gaffigan started and look at him this feels like watching paul mccartney come up
with get back during that documentary it's wild holy shit man oh man that'll wrap up the podcast
where were you when you you know? Yeah.
David, do you have any other dates or anything like that to promote?
No, you know, just watch the Late Late Show with James Corden.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Julia Rotsi is here on the podcast at Julia Rotsi.
And I'm going to spell that for everybody.
So make sure you follow her.
G-I-U-L-I-A-R-O-Z-Z-I.
Now, that's on Twitter.
On Instagram, it's also Julia Rossi, but with an M-S in front of it.
Miss Julia Rossi.
Yeah, there's another Julia Rossi in Italy.
I want her name.
We're going to have to bump her off.
Yeah.
She's posted since 2014.
There needs to be some sort of mechanism
where if you haven't reported her many times if everyone listening wants to report her
let's get back going if we accomplish nothing else as a podcast as a family man she's gonna
have a tough day that day she's not gonna have any idea yeah she might not even be around uh
and website she clearly russie.com uh how are you doing? What do you got coming up?
I'm good.
I guess.
Well,
I don't have many tour dates coming up because I haven't
really because I was locked
in my house for the last
six weeks.
Yeah,
I was protecting my baby
from COVID.
We all do different stuff.
And I
held your baby.
My baby is
18 months.
So I guess not a baby, a infant.
We got COVID like a month ago.
So that's why I'm out.
That's why I feel like a prick.
That's why I can do these things.
Because the doctor's like, you're basically good.
That was really shitty of me to say.
Because I don't even know what the fucking rules are at this point.
She's in daycare.
So you guys.
Sean got COVID from a public hot tub public uh yeah i went to a kissing
party and i left maxine in the parking lot and he drank from the neighbor's hose and then he was a
kissing party at a rent-a-hot tub indoor facility um and i paid another baby to watch her with money
that is expired you know you could get expired money but i could have a rent-a-hot indoor rent-a-hot
tub place up in port. Oh, gross.
Yeah.
It's always like a lounge where it's just like you and four friends get a table.
I've never gone in to find out, but it can't. It can't be.
I don't want to sit in there.
I don't know.
Who's in the rental tub place?
Wild people.
I'd go in.
Anyways, I'll be in New York in April.
I'm often at the comedy store every week in LA
I have a new podcast
I think coming out in April
wow
look at the vagueness of my career
right now
keep them guessing
gotta keep them on their toes
follow me and you're gonna be real surprised
what's up my sleeve I was hosting a thing with David I'm guessing. You gotta keep them on their toes. Follow me and you're going to be real surprised.
What's up my sleeve.
I was hosting a thing with David.
We are still technically hosting it.
Yeah.
And that's that.
That's it. All right.
Many of you are probably familiar with it.
No need to go into it.
Fantastic.
My name is Ian Carmel.
At Ian Carmel on Twitter. ian carmel on twitter at
ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on shit jewish uh hawaiian airlines app i just looked
at my phone you have a hawaiian airlines app oh yeah dude you gotta get all the apps that's how
much you go to hawaii i'm always in hawaii dude oh fuck me i'm not i've
been once in the last year but like you know i was gonna say i only i only know you to go that
one time that was the time i know you know i've gone to one or two times during our administration
but i keep the app on me you never know when the heat gets hot.
Yeah, you keep that thing on you.
Of course.
You keep that thing on me.
And it's the Jewish one, too.
So, aloha, very similar to shalom in that it means hello and goodbye.
So, many similarities between our people.
Same with ciao.
Oh, and ciao as well.
Oh, I never knew that.
Same with bonjour.
True.
Yeah, that's true. No, it's not. Good day. No, it's not. Bonjour. Bonjour. No, I just knew that. Same with bonjour. True. Yeah, that's true.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
Bonjour.
No, I just made it up.
I think it's just, I'm pretty sure it's just hi.
Well.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to fit in, guys.
C'est la vie, David.
Watch The Late Late Show with James Corden.
Watch Sex Unzipped on Netflix.
Listen to all fantasy everything.
And hold, you know, hold fast for an upcoming announcement about another television project,
which hopefully soon I'll be able to tell you all about.
What else?
Nothing else.
Speaking of chow, we are gathered here today to draft.
There he goes.
Italian television characters.
A suggestion by our wonderful guest,
Giulia Rossi.
I kept trying to drop that I was Italian to like amp people up.
I feel like they saw it.
I feel like from once we said Giulia Rossi,
they were fairly...
Am I going too hard on the pronunciation of Rossi
or am I doing all right?
No, some people say Rossi
and some people say rotsi
and i don't i i say you know choose choose what makes you happy what do you say i say rossi just
because that's what i've always said but it probably is rotsi and it it isn't sounds nicer
yeah yeah in honor of us drafting italian tv characters i've been hitting that i've been
hitting that pronunciation real hard in the words of my dad my dad's other favorite goof it's
call me whatever you want just don't call me late for dinner now that's a classic
yeah now that's a hall of famer i think that the man or woman who wrote that bit needs to
never pay taxes again no no come on it's such a good bit why do we know louis
pasteur's name but we don't know the first person to do that yeah dude such a good just a good good
mellow light-hearted joke yeah will get me every time i love it i love it i want to find the guy
who invented milk milk lemonade and just give him a million dollars dude that guy disappeared after
that that was it.
He's the one and done.
Oh, you mean Richard Branson?
Yeah, dude.
Milk, milk, lemonade around the corner and you never saw him again.
Yeah.
He didn't even make fudge.
He just left.
He was gone, dude.
He's never pooped.
No.
That's what the fudge is in that thing.
Sure, sure, sure.
Thanks.
Yeah.
We are gathered here today
to draft Italianian television characters julia what uh what inspired
this this topic for you uh me yeah um my my heritage uh you know it's been a journey watching
how my people have unfolded in media you you know, often we are the waiter.
Yeah.
But when you when you really think about it, there are some juicy characters.
I also just recently watched House of Gucci, which I know is not a TV show.
It's a movie.
Did you think?
Oh, it was terrible.
Yeah.
Everybody said everybody has said that so far.
It's not. There's no like it was the story
is five minutes long like they really made like a meal out of like a snack and uh adam driver
they couldn't find any italian person to play it i liked lady gaga she was fun i love lady gaga i mean jared leto was a caricature but you
know i don't know uh al pacino i don't want to say my thoughts but i was you know he's and he's
italian i think he does bad stuff sometimes we all saw carlito's way sometimes he blows it
carlito's way was dope so that movie sucked he just kept saying i'm
just a puerto rican yeah yeah he did play a great jew in uh once upon a time in hollywood though and
i'll always i'll always appreciate that yeah fuck it i like lady gaga and house of gucci too
i it was a terrible movie that I wish I,
like I,
a terrible,
I don't know.
Who am I to say that?
I thought it was going to be more fun than it was.
Yeah.
I was also hoping for more like Gucci clothes and a lot of like boring suits.
Yeah.
Give me more like Gucci,
like Gucci porn.
You know what I mean?
Show me some fucking crazy, like the closest they came where they give gucci main any part of the movie
like did they put him in there just for fun completely cut out he dropped he dropped out
yeah yeah also fun fact about gucci main it's a family name it has nothing to do with the clothing
really yeah i saw it in an interview his dad was also called gucci i enjoyed the von dutch
documentary more than i enjoyed house of gucci the von dutch documentary was great it's really
really good yeah much better anywho that's why i picked it fantastic fantastic topic uh
now the way we determine the order of the draft is with a rollicking game
of rock paper scissors played between the three of you, and we throw on
shoot. I'll call. Here we go.
Rock,
paper, scissors, shoot!
Ah, David
wins. It's
the odd person out, basically. I know.
Ah, you didn't explain that.
How would it have changed a thing? It's streetball
over here. It's streetball, yeah.
Bullshit. And one. David, as the winner of the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order
of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is
that great question it's like playing pac-man you start and you eat a bunch of the dots and you go
all the way to like one side of the screen and then you go up a little bit eat all the dots all the way to the other side of the screen kind of finagle around a little bit go up a
little bit more eat all the dots over to the other side of the screen and then just go up a little
bit and eat them all until all the dots are gone and then you know you're good at it you get to the
baby levels at some point basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round you pick
first in the second round now david with that mind, what will the order of today's draft be?
Can I also say, it finally dawned on me yesterday.
What a serpentine draft is?
Yeah, and also, good for you, Sean.
That's a lot of, I'd have run out of steam at like six.
Yeah, Sean has explained what a serpentine draft is probably every episode since our.
Yeah, probably like 200 episodes.
I still don't get it.
Yeah.
I mean, you're going to get that. That'll happen. He's bad at it, but he keeps doing it. every episode since our yeah probably like 200 episodes i still don't get it yeah i mean that
you're gonna get that that'll happen he's bad at it but he keeps doing it is that kind of that's
what i i would not like me with stand-up i feel like 10 you're not bad at stand-up i feel like
10 15 times in i'd have been like i'm not doing this anymore it's fun this is fun i like this
every single part of this even the ones i get nervous about like this i'm a little nervous
about this one because i feel like I might sound stupid.
It's all fun.
You're nervous about this draft?
A little bit.
I feel like I might sound dumb.
No, I think it's all...
And I'm making an assumption about one person that I'm going to pick.
Because there's no proof.
Presumed Italian.
Chandler is not Italian.
I will say that.
Is that your new podcast, Presumed Italian, Julian? Or I just guess? presumed italian chandler is not italian i will say your podcast presumed italian julia
where i just guess hey tell me if you think this person was italian
yeah but it's the character that's italian yeah no i know i know i know it's it's it's not it
will we'll get there and you guys will be like oh yeah it's you're fine no it's not i'm not being uh
i'm like yeah they had a piece of pizza right no it's nothing like that yeah david the order uh okay so i am going to go
david sean shit julia ian top corner that's the order you're gonna i bet you're gonna
fuck me on this me maybe i don't know i don't think i am okay all right i? Maybe. I don't know. I don't think I am. I don't think.
I wrote my list.
I don't think that.
Oh, you wrote a list.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you got to come into this with it.
Well, you might not do.
You might not be able to go off the dome. I got a.
I got a.
I got it.
I got it.
I got like a 20 person list down here.
Yeah.
I got 17.
I got sharp elbows on this one.
Let me get a pen.
David Boyd, you've given yourself the first pick
and we will get to that first pick right after
this short break
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David Borey you have the first pick
in the Italian tv characters all fantasy
everything fantasy draft what will your pick be there was no question first on the board first
in my mind from the town of salem illinois the television show days of our lives i'm taking
stefano de mera the best bad guy maybe on television.
He possessed Marlena with the devil.
He switched Hope and Bo's baby.
He can do it all.
Italian as fuck.
Building his empire.
Stefano DiMera.
Wow.
I'm looking this guy up.
Did you watch this with your mother back in the day?
Every single day she taped it and we would watch it after she got off work.
Aw, God, David, you're like the cutest.
Yeah.
I grew up watching all my children in Days of our lives are the two that i grew up on he has a whole section on his wikipedia that's titled henchman dog he was amazing in fourth grade or
third or fourth grade he like i have a joke about it how like i don't know how
to love because i learned from him i thought that you just like trapped a woman on the on an island
and possessed her with the devil and that's how you fall in love his henchman section is so long
you could only hope to have a henchman section like that after your career he's amazing stefano
de mera he also has a fake death timeline and
notable possessions dog this is all on the days of our lives like yes that he was going nuts in
the 90s he was going nuts he had a great accent he had one of those dual colored goatees he's been
played by several actors yeah because the real stefano de mera
died on a boat in 68 christopher walken was there he's been played by four what
david let me let me ask you something and ian i think you're already looking let me get four
actors have played him that's amazing yeah yeah julia before you look it up let me ask you too
david and julia how many episodes of days of Our Lives do you think there's been?
Oh, dude.
And Ian, if you didn't look it up yet, then you do.
I think it could be thousands.
I think it's.
Because they don't take time off, right?
Yeah.
Five thousand.
Well, I'm going to say I'm going to say four thousand.
OK, wait, let me adjust my guess because
our show's been on we've done more than a thousand
shows of the Late Late Show I'm going to adjust
15,000
I'm saying 22,000
14,355
Damn
Good guess
Very good guess
Ian doing a dab just like look at that Ian and I both dab
like the same exact way.
That's not a dab.
Stop doing it.
He's doing, Ian's dabbing.
I'm doing a Mr. Universe kind of pose.
Yeah, it's an Olympian pose.
Don't be like that.
Yeah, man, you were so close.
Good job.
I went over.
So price is right rules.
I don't get it, but.
This ain't the price is right, man.
Yo, the original actor who played him died of old age at 87 in 2016.
This guy's been around.
So were they having other actors say they were this person like Aunt Viv?
Or was it like, this is a different.
No, but I think he died a few times and came back.
He was always on some die, come back shit.
Who isn't, man?
If you're living, you're living. Yeah, yeah. come back shit who isn't man if you're living
you're living yeah yeah yeah i mean and also if you guys look him up if you google stefano de
mara he looks exactly like you think there's also some really great super cuts on youtube of him
saying gangster shit stefano tell you a thing that happened joseph mescolo played him from 1982 to
1988 took a break and then this guy frank thought to played him and then to 1988, took a break. And then this guy, Frank thought to play them.
And then Joseph came back and played them again from 93 to 2016.
That's so Joseph of him.
So Joseph is so gnarly.
And if you look up Joseph Mascolo, he is an Italian man.
Just like.
Yeah.
Man. The man that's a barrel chest oh barrel chested yeah strong strong looks like he can make a good pasta sauce i don't know when this gets racist i don't know i don't know the lines
i'm sorry no italians are the last the the only group that it's a free-for-all i feel like it's free on the
irish people don't really that's true i'm an irish boy people don't really shy away from your potato
eating mouth well that it's always that you have to compare it like when if somebody would say the
worst thing to me or to what like a you know full-blooded irish person it's like it's i don't
know it's not as bad as the worst thing you could say oh yeah that you know like the jew and the black guy feel bad
for you guys yeah absolutely yeah i'm telling you what there's there's this pbs documentary
four-part series called the italian americans and it really explains the trials and tribulations
when my people first came to this nation. It was,
it was rough.
And for the Irish.
Absolutely.
Yeah. And that's why I think a lot of Italians tend to be racist because they're trying to avoid,
you know what I mean?
Getting,
going back to what,
you know,
anyways,
you guys,
I'm not going to sit here and say Italians are racist.
You said it.
I have,
I have nothing else. I don't feel any way said it. I have nothing else.
I don't feel any way about it.
I didn't say all.
I didn't either.
I'm trying to stay out of it.
Yeah.
Mamma mia.
Does that help?
That's always the line.
I didn't say all.
Yeah.
I'm just saying a couple members of my family.
That's all I'm saying.
Same.
Listen, as someone who also comes from a culture
who likes gold chains i get it yes
this joseph mascolo guy also played an italian in the bold and the beautiful massimo marone
he won nfl to afl and he was also in the original cast of west side story at lincoln center
wow he played shrank this guy what a phrase in 1968 this fucking guy you should after later West Side Story at Lincoln Center. Wow. He played Shrank. This guy. What a crazy.
In 1968.
This fucking guy.
You should,
after,
later today,
you should go down to DeMera.
Oh,
not the original cast,
but later,
but you know.
Still,
West Side Story.
Broadway revival.
When you're a jet,
you're a jet all the way.
Yeah.
From your first cigarette
to your last night on day.
You're never alone.
Yeah,
that's my first pick, Stefano tamara that's an amazing
first pick fantastic uh sean jordan uh i'm going to boardwalk empire for this one and um i'm gonna
go with my man i love that show and bobby cannavale has a character in there who's so intense and scary and gnarly.
Bobby Cannavale plays an intense character?
Well, you know the thing about...
So it's Jip Rossetti from Boardwalk Empire.
Yeah.
Bobby Cannavale is like a...
He's like a really, really well-trained theater actor though, right?
Like he has a lot of...
I didn't know.
I guess softer roles too.
He's not always this gnarly intent. But the boardwalk empire he's a goddamn lunatic and it's yeah i re-watched it um beginning
of covid and just he's actually scary to watch i don't know it's just such a such a fun character
like hot scary like he is aren't supposed to be as hot as bobby where you're just like whoa man i
feel i feel good in a bad way.
Yeah, you make me feel safe and in danger.
He's easy on the eyes.
He's easy on the eyes, that Bobby Cunningham.
Oh, that's a hot dude.
Yeah, and he's so intense.
Yeah, something where you're like, man, I wouldn't want to marry that intensity,
but I'll roll around with that intensity.
He's married to someone equally.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean.
They're hot.
We both.
They're hot.
What happens when they go to a restaurant?
Yo, I don't know, man.
It shuts down, man.
Calm in their pants is what happens.
Everybody's like,
I'm over there waiting for breadsticks
like a fucking asshole.
All of a sudden,
my pasta has cream sauce.
That's what happens.
You're going to be out right away.
Okay.
David, now I don't know the line.
I mean, we're going where we're going.
Yeah, man.
Is the name Jip?
It's G-Y-P in the show.
I didn't know that.
I thought it was Chip until I looked it up.
Is that short?
It makes me wonder if maybe he's a gypsy.
Yeah, but is that, I don't know.
Is there like an Italian name I'm missing?
Oh, maybe it's Giuseppe.
Doesn't mean Giuseppe.
I was wondering, or something like that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never heard the name Chip.
I mean, either.
It's G-Y-P on IMDb. Again, I thought it was Chip, but. No. like that i don't know yeah i don't know i've never heard the name chip i mean either it's gyp
on imdb again i thought it was chip but um anyway i would guess giuseppe have you guys seen that
you know have you seen the show you know what like what role i'm talking about it's his name
is giuseppe okay in the show yeah i never could get into i never get past the second episode
it's so well i don't what are they what's the word i'm looking
for where it's like a period piece that's well it's accurately shot or whatever it's well shot
it's well shot bro it's well shot bro it's well university they taught me
absolutely mental it's fucking well mental that sounded like a drop like at the beginning of
like a british dj's set British DJ's set. Oh, yeah.
Yo, you guys ready for DJ Pudding?
It's absolutely mental.
And then it kicks in.
It's my favorite British term.
Absolutely mental.
I like that they call sneakers trainers.
That's the one I love.
I love everything about it.
I like University.
Big fan of Bruvs.
Bruvs and Chav, too. Like that. Yeah. I like University. Big fan of Bruv's. Bruv's and Chav, too.
Like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Bobby Cannavale,
Jip Rizzetti,
Boardwalk Empire.
First pick.
Beautiful pick.
I feel like I had something
I wanted to say about Bobby Cannavale.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
That's another British term.
Oh, fuck.
This is just a small digression.
Julia, why do you...
The history of American film
and theater
is extremely well populated with Italians.
Why do you think it is that so many Italian...
Do you find it...
What is the correlation?
Why are so many Italian-Americans such great actors?
See, I don't know that I thought that before.
Well, I disagree.
No, no, no.
I mean, there are great Italian actors.
But so I think I've actually had the opposite reaction where I think, and maybe I'm just basing this off of, like, things I've been asked to audition for or castings I've seen.
But so much of it often is, like, mob-ish.
And, like, you know the jersey then the jersey shore happened
right yeah how was that for you guys because it seems like a rough time i can't speak for
everyone i mean for me it was like watching animals in a zoo like so my parents are from
italy so i was raised very european and I think that's very different than like those Jersey Shore
people who some of them were sort of like many generations removed. And so it was more like
Italian American. I don't know. Yeah. But what do I think it is about Italians that make them
amazing performers such as myself? You know, we very expressive we have hands that move um you know
uh we're loud uh i i don't know i don't know the same reason many of my people are in the arts
yeah loud yeah yeah yeah never thought i was gonna be the one who would be uncomfortable
racially on this show but i have. I have nothing to add to this argument.
Going all the way back to Rudolph Valentino.
You know what I mean?
Like all the way to Leonardo DiCaprio.
I mean, there's so many great artists from Italy.
Like Italy has such a strong cultural arts foundation.
I mean, I can tell you why I went into it.
Because I wanted attention from my dad.
It didn't work. I mean I can tell you why I went into it because I wanted attention from my dad so you know
it didn't work
and that's why I'm not touring as much
my heart
feels full
anywho
this is not what the show is about
the show is about everything
but your draft list is empty so far who's your first pick
my first pick is laverne defazio from laverne and shirley oh fantastic i mean do i even have
to explain why she's such a broad uh i i i've i i, you know, people talk about representation on television.
When I watched Laverne and Shirley in syndication as a young Italian girl with a strong nose and strong ethnic features.
And I saw Laverne.
I just, even though I don't talk like her, like I feel I get it.
You know, I, I think she has rugged hands like I do.
You know, like I got like meat, meat making hands, you know, like meatball making.
My meatball smashers.
Yeah, I got meatball smashers.
And I just I really I liked seeing someone like Laverne because she was, you know, sort of the she wasn't typical.
And I like the relationship with her dad.
Clearly, I have a lot of dad stuff going on.
And, yeah, I just think she's a cool broad.
Also, she wore an L on her shirts.
How great was that?
Awesome.
Every shirt.
So fucking cool.
Yes.
It was very cool.
I've always thought it's cool to have your name on your shirt.
I got a lot of, I have a lot of things that have like Rozzy on them.
And I have like my neck.
I love having my name on stuff.
And then I get freaked out when someone's like, knows my name.
I also get freaked out when someone's like, hey, I know you.
I'm like, how?
They're like, comedy.
I'm like, what?
Like it's, yeah.
Anyways, Laverne.
I didn't know her last name was DeFazio.
Oh, what a good last name.
That's so rad.
They owned a pizzeria.
She used to drink Pepsi and milk, which I never understood.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
That sounds buck.
I hate to be that guy.
I've done it with Coca-Cola.
It's not as bad as you would think.
I'm not out on it.
I'm not in on it but i'm not out
but hot sauce and ranch can't go together you i want these chips to work as much as everybody
else does sean like don't talk to me like we're not on the same team now i haven't tried them yet
but no one is saying hot sauce and ranch don't go together don't put those words in our mouth
you're gonna not mind these i know you very You do. You're going to not mind them.
You might not love them, but you're not going to not like them.
We'll find out.
You'll be right in the middle.
You'll be stuck on the fence.
Laverne and Shirley created by Gary Marshall. I watched The Princess Diaries for the first time last night.
Good time with the movies.
I've never seen it.
You've never seen The Princess Diaries?
Whoa, man.
Yeah.
I love The Princess Bride.
Oh.
Sorry.
Princess Bride is what I was thinking of. I've seen The Princess Bride. Sorry, sorry, sorry. bride is what i was thinking i've never
seen it i've never seen princess diaries uh that's the anne hathaway right anne hathaway
julia andrews gotcha gotcha yeah second favorite julia uh thank you you know no yeah uh laverne
defazio time for my first and second picks, as it is a Serpentine Draft.
I'm so glad to get these two.
They were my two picks on the board,
and I can't believe I get both of them.
My first pick, I'm going to take George Costanza.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
And this is fucked up to say?
Yeah.
I thought everybody on that show was Jewish.
Absolutely.
It never even crossed.
Oh, Costanza.
Costanza.
It's an Italian name.
Yeah.
Well, go on.
No, please.
I was going to mention someone else on the show.
Like, I don't know.
Are you not going to?
Elaine?
No.
Elaine was Jewish, though, right? Cosmo Kramer? No, I not going to elaine no elaine was jewish though right
cosmo kramer no i was gonna his jerry stiller oh his dad yeah yeah you could say his dad
off the board i think we can yeah that's what i'm talking about you're gonna be funny you
snuck in and took frank costanza by the way jerry stiller in my opinion the funniest guy
the funniest i don't think anybody anybody's funnier than that.
But Gary Stiller was Jewish, right?
Right.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Jews and Italians are pretty interchangeable.
We're very simpatico.
Yeah, absolutely.
We're at matzo balls, meatballs, it's safe.
We're a swarthy.
Now, the Vatican had some opinions about this.
I didn't. Do you want to hear a fucked up story? Yeah. Yes. worthy. Now, now, now, now the Vatican had some opinions about this.
Do you want to hear a fucked up story? Yes.
An acting teacher who's very
popular.
I took one class with her and
she pulled me out of the class to tell
me, and I quote, and she's Jewish,
that I won't get on TV
because I look too Jew-y
for television. And then she proceeded to tell me all the plastic surgery I needed to look less Jewish.
No!
Yeah.
That's so fucked up.
And the teacher was Jewish?
Yeah.
If anyone wants to know who she is, I will happily tell them off air because I don't know what legalities are, how the law system works.
Yeah.
What a terrible, yeah.
That's awful.
And did she say like she was doing you a favor?
Like, hey, you're going to want this advice.
Yeah, she goes, I went through the same thing you did.
That's why she got surgery.
Oh my God.
We have a long history of self-loathing.
No, she also like hasn't, she's like talking,
she's been like a glorified extra
and then she started teaching acting.
Yeah.
Does she look, does she not look Italian anymore? Or Jewish? She's not Italian, she's been like a glorified extra and then she started teaching acting yeah does she look does she not look italian anymore she's not italian she's jewish oh and she got does she not look
jewish anymore i don't know she looks like a bitch is what she looks like sounds like it
sounds like one miserable that's what it says on the can yeah that's what have you seen licorice pizza yet yeah i mean listen i'm not i'm not a
classic all-american gal that's why i liked laverne yeah yeah absolutely i you you look at a picture
gaga with dark hair and you turn her profile to the side a star is born That's all I'm saying. Absolutely. A star is born.
For real.
If any television casting directors or producers or anyone is listening and wants to prove this woman wrong, reach out.
Thank you. Well, it happens with Jews.
It's happening with Jews, too.
Like, a lot of the prominent Jewish roles, especially for women, this doesn't happen to men.
This happens to women, all go to Goyim.
They all go to Schicks's.
I mean, you are a salesperson for Schicks, but Italians
and Jews, I think, run into the same
problems.
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is played by
not a Jewish woman, you know what I mean?
They cast
what's-her-face
as Joan Rivers, and then that fell apart.
An amazing actress.
And also, I don't think only Jews should play Jews
and only non-Jews should play non-Jews.
I don't think that at all.
I'm just saying I want to see more,
a variety of noses.
Yes.
I want more nose representation.
Let me get some big honks on the tube.
Yeah.
And mine's not even big.
It's just like, it's long.
A beautiful Roman nose. You know what else we need on TV? Bald dudes. too. Yeah. And that's not even big. It's just like it's long. A Roman,
a beautiful Roman.
No,
you know what else we need on TV?
Bald dudes.
We need big noses.
We need bald dudes.
Yeah.
More dark skin people.
Yeah.
I'm banging the drum.
Yeah,
dude.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Big schnoz,
dark skin,
baldies.
Yeah,
I got them all.
It's a weird
list. You become an agent that only
represents those three categories.
They're going to tell women to get nose
surgery bigger to get repped by me.
You want to ramp that up a little bit?
She told me that my...
She's like, can you smile for me?
After she gave me all these notes, and then I did.
And then she goes, your gums are so distracting.
You have to get your.
She wanted me to get.
She wanted me to get.
Did you beat the shit out of her?
She wanted me to pull my lip down, get surgically my lip pulled down so that you couldn't see my gums so much when I smile.
So, well, this is the even more fucked up thing.
So this happened 10 years ago
recently this woman posted a thing on christmas about how her mom uh making her get a nose job
and celebrating christmas protected her because like you know she had ancestors in the holocaust
and stuff like it was this whole thing basically saying like, I thought she was sharing trauma that she was forced to get surgery.
So I decided to DM her.
It's 10 years later.
And I was like, hey, I just want to let you know, read your post.
You know, I'm glad you're sharing your trauma.
However, I don't know if you remember me, but 10 years ago you said this to me.
I also have since found out you've said many things like this to
people it would be really nice if you acknowledge the damage you've caused to other people and she
wrote back and doubled down whoa really back and she's she's like i'm sorry that it hurt you or
whatever but um you know i uh she goes i she, then she Googled me and she goes,
I see you had success as a writer,
but not so much as an actress.
So the truth can be hard to hear.
And I was like,
what are you talking about?
Like,
you don't even know what my fucking goals are.
Like,
yeah,
I'm really piecemealing the story.
Cause it really is like an hour long story,
but literally if anyone in the biz wants to know who this is, and let's take this woman down yeah jesus christ but she she like speaks
at like jewish events that's like fucking in a positive way actively encouraging people to like
look less jewish she's an anti-semitic jewish woman she's an she's a big time self-loathing
jew and not in a cute way and that is bad that's bad
sorry i just wanted to be sorry but like being i was like if people think i'm a jew in hollywood
won't that like help you'd think so but not but not getting roles as a woman let me tell you it's
done nothing for me now if you guys want to get a table at mastro's you know what i mean maybe that's where it starts
factoring in uh that's terrible fuck that woman uh but george costanza yeah of course yeah this
is a beautiful representation of how much in common where like the venn diagram of jews and
italians is new york city and that a good point. There's a lot of
overlap between the two there. And a lot of
overlap in our experiences coming to this country
and how we were treated
once we got here. And your dance
styles. And our dance
styles.
The name has been dropped in the DM.
I also don't want to say it.
Clive Davis. Because I'm
not sure what. It was Clive Davis.
That's wild.
But I will be fucking keeping this in mind
if I ever run afoul of this woman.
Yeah.
I might run afoul of her on purpose.
Oh my gosh.
She's very Google-able.
What are you going to do?
Wait, let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here.
I'm pulling out of it.
George Costanza is my first pick. I just love George Costanza. let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. I'm pulling out of it. George Costanza's my first pick.
I just love George Costanza.
He's also,
he's based on Larry David.
He's based on a Jewish person,
but they made him Italian.
Yeah.
He's,
he's just the best,
the best delivery.
You kidding me?
For 50 bucks,
I'll go put my face in the soup and blow.
He's just so,
he's so aware of who he is,
which is fun.
Encapsulates our idiosyncrasies and anxieties and all that stuff.
Yeah.
Wonderfully.
And my next pick, I don't want to only try.
I mean, I understand that like part of the legacy of Italian Americans on in film and on television is being consigned to certain kinds of roles.
But I would be a fool if I left this man on the board early.
And I don't want to only traffic in this area, but I do
have to take Tony Soprano
as
represented by James Gandolfini.
I know it's all sorts of stereotypes
and all stuff in there, but what a fucking
amazing actor. Oh, yeah.
And an amazing performance.
And a complex character. Such a
complex character. Kind a complex character.
Where it kind of like started to turn those like,
you're just a mobster roles,
like on its ear a little bit and like looked into the psychology.
Because it showed the family,
like David and I were talking,
we've never seen it,
but it showed the family life too
and showed the family side of him, right?
When he was in therapy,
the therapy stuff was wild.
Tried to be like a good person, didn't he?
Or tried to be decent, at least.
Based on James Galanti, right?
Was that?
No, I don't know.
The owner of the Danbury Trashers?
What?
What?
What are the Danbury Trashers?
It's a whole hockey team thing, man.
I don't want to get into it.
I started this riff.
I don't want to get into it.
Keep going. Is this not based on reality? It's real. It's real. I don't want to get into it. I started this riff. I don't want to get into it. Keep going.
Oh, is it not true? It's real.
I'm not making shit up.
Come on, here he had a traumatizing
night last night with
Mind Goblin.
I think you're feeling more
attacked than you are right here. We want to know more.
It all started from Mind Goblin
and then it's just, I'm shitting
the whole bed. Did Sam leave that silk scarf on your bed and not let you sleep in it last night?
No, no, no, never.
You're on, I feel like you're standing on quicksand, but we're here.
We're your bedrock.
Yeah, I'll save you, man.
I'll reach out and pull you in.
I appreciate you guys.
Keep going.
Tony Soprano, great character.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can't speak too heavily.
I never saw it, but I.
I mean, sometimes he tried to be a better
person but he failed at it almost every step of the way but just like a very it was an interesting
work like building on i think i think a lot of the like mafia roles that i mean italian dudes
have probably been forced to play forever but also just like a very interesting character that
did some of that like the pulpy stuff but also did a lot of the like intellectual in-depth like
interesting stuff and just fucking just cool just he was just fucking cool yeah while being
extremely not cool david and i are discussing watching the sopranos together apart i might
get in on that you want to get over it yeah
yeah like you know a couple episodes a week or something nothing crazy but yeah then maybe we
you know we get together we drink some white wine we discuss oh a little chablis with some
ice cubes in this the supreme baby who you telling all right our little dinner party
you know what sean david you come to la i'll cook up i'll cook up a dinner i'll cook up some for a little dinner party? The brand bros. The brand bros is so funny.
You know what?
Sean, David, you come to LA.
I'll cook up a dinner.
I'll cook up an Italian menu.
You know what?
You should make a charcut.
I'll make a charcut.
I'll make an aranciata.
You get the fuck over here. Wait, we're still calling them charcutes?
Charcutes, dude.
In the charcut.
In the charcut.
Or an antipasto, whatever you want to call it.
Or an antipasto.
But Tony Soprano is my second pick.
Julia, time for your second pick.
Oh, it is.
Okay, my second pick.
It bounces back.
Sean was good.
I got it.
My second pick is the beloved Tony Maselli from Who's the Boss.
Damn it.
That's what I was literally going to take right now.
I mean, when he showed up at Angela Bauer's door,
I think he had a mop in his hand.
I'm not sure.
You know, to show that a man can clean the house.
I mean, I don't know what a silly show, but I loved him off topic.
I loved Mona.
I love Mona. Not to keep going back to my my personal
career but i my dream role is to play an older inappropriate horny lady oh it's the funniest
character and i want someone else's line to me to be like ma ma'am, we're going to have to ask you to leave. Cause I'm being so wrong in the deli.
You know what I mean?
And,
and so,
but that show,
I just,
you know,
ah,
Tony Maselli,
what a,
what a,
his,
his face is so kind in general,
every,
every role he plays.
He's the best.
I going back to that,
the,
the,
the brassy broad role.
I just saw P patty lapone in
company in new york and oh my god the great the greatest fucking like brassy broad roll also i
think an italian another great italian actor patty lapone uh just fucking fantastic she was so good at it. Tony Maselli. Tony Maselli. Also, great theme song.
Oh.
Take a chance and face the wind.
Yeah.
Go to bed and I wrote that shit. The friends of mine.
There were times we lost a dream or two.
Around the bend right at the end
with you.
Everyone has turned off the pod
or they're searching for our duet album.
They rewound it
for 30 seconds so they can hear it again.
He was poised to be a
professional baseball player.
Am I correct?
Have we had a talk show?
Yeah. Thank you. On the show we had a talk show
yeah but didn't he also only play tony's i think so uh-huh i said shout out to alissa mulatto on
that show as well yeah in um don john he played like the the Italian New Jersey dad guy still buff as hell
I think he's a teacher now too
dude Tony Danza's brawling
we yeah when I was writing
on the Grammys
Elton John and
Miley Cyrus
they were like doing duets of like new artists
and great artists and
they did Tiny Dancer.
And I had this pitch.
I was like, okay, after they perform this,
James, you should come out with Tony Danza
and be like, I'm so sorry.
I'm completely misunderstood.
And it was in New York.
It was the Grammys in New York.
So it was all set up.
And Tony Danza's fucking agent
wouldn't get it to Tony Danza or something like that.
We had, like, Full Go.
Korden was in.
Like, the Grammys were in.
That would have been great.
Elton John was cool with it.
We were like, it would have been amazing.
Because, you know, hold me close to Tony Danza, of course.
Yeah.
I sing it all the time.
And this fucking agent, like, wouldn't get it to him.
And I'm like, that would have been such a fun little moment.
I bet if Tony listens to this and finds out he does no one tony yeah
tony fucking listens to this and finds out his fucking agent didn't tell him
all right it would have been such a fun little and he seems like a real fun guy
yeah wow now it got offensive.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I understand.
I understand.
Pull back.
Pull back.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Tony Maselli,
excellent pick.
Sean Jordan.
So,
crap.
Sorry,
I was just looking at my list
and wondering if I should do this one now.
I'm not going to.
So,
for my second pick,
I watched Grey's Anatomy
in its entirety in quarantine and there is a character in gray's
anatomy played by giacomo uh gianniniati his name's andrew deluca and he's fantastic i think
andrew deluca is probably italian yeah yeah well the real dude too but yeah andrew deluca
in the show uh he's just he's just such a good
part of the show obviously he's a doctor and uh he has sort of like a mental breakdown in the show
and he identifies a sex like a sex traffic ring it's such a crazy story that's what happens on
that show there's a lot dude i think a lot happens on that show deep they're deep that's a classic italian social goof that goes back to commedia dell'arte that goes back to like
to find sex traffic rings uh i mean he has some other stuff you know dresses some wounds and
things um no he's just a dope character i just love that show so much i knew i was gonna love it
from the second i started watching it and uh yeah he's just one of the most endearing characters on
the show i don't think anybody else has watched the show in this on this i have not it's season
one quite an undertaking i believe yeah yeah it seems too big for me 17 seasons but i was staring down
the barrel of nothing to do and skateboarding so uh yeah anyway andrew deluca from gray's anatomy
all right all right i liked it david time for your second and third picks i'm taking bob pinson yadi oh donna's dad hot tubbing free loving
perm hair wearing yes gold chain rocking come on that guy was the best constantly always fucking
always had the chesties out too always yeah bob pinson yadi he was so funny he was so you know i'm 13 at the time i'm like
dude this is what italian guys are like yeah i love that show i thought it was hilarious
yeah it was really funny i really enjoyed that show don stark is the actor who played him that's
his name yeah don stark it's a fun one good face on that guy good face great hair too he did have that perm popping
in a big way now here's a question i have for you ian if we were around in the 70s
do you think you would be a perm guy so i've thought about this a lot because i've been
i don't know that he got a perm he's just naturally his hair is so fucking curly and like and like he had an afro he rocked
an afro in like the 60s and and and went with it and i my hair is curly but it's more wavy because
like my mom's hair is wavy so i would i i've i don't think i would be a perm guy okay i think
i would be like but i think i would have a beautiful sort
of like wavy i definitely embrace the curls but i think it would be more of like a hanging around
here around the ears you know yeah a shag yeah obviously would be a perm guy for sure a big time
perm guy how about you david oh this is all natural i don't need a perm. Okay. How big would you want to get in the 70s? Oof.
Oh, here's the thing about my hair, man.
It is so... My hair is so fucking curly and coarse.
Like, I've let my hair grow out for like a year,
and it's like barely a fro.
Yeah.
Really?
So, yeah.
I've never seen you with any long hair.
I haven't done it since I was probably like...
Shit, since before I got my dui so
since i was like 20 but i know i don't think i would grow a lot because it's just also when my
hair gets long it's because it's so dense it's so fucking hot yeah yeah it's so hot like sexy
yeah like way too sexy it's way too sexy but the point is no i think that i really any era you drop me
and i would have the same hair right situation what about facial hair sean if you were alive
in the 70s dude every everywhere wolfman no it'd be everywhere i'd be one of those like whoa
like everywhere neck all the way down it'd be all all connected. My chest hair. You know, you can, we can do all these things now.
I can, but it's frowned upon if I like let it, I used to, before I found out about shaving
your neck when, I don't know, when I first started getting facial hair, I would just
let it all grow equally.
And so it'd be like thick down to my neck.
We had a turtleneck.
Yeah.
I despise a turtleneck, but people would like tell me to shave your neck and
i'm like i thought i used to think it was cowardly to to shave your neck i thought you were like a
sellout if you shaved your neck i'll go put a turtleneck on right now you had one last time
you were here you look great the homie pulled up with a turtleneck the other day and i was
fucking jealous you know why i don't like i've told you this story in sixth grade my mom made
me go to an orchestra concert and perform and and everybody had tuxedos on.
And she pulls up with a purple turtleneck
and a green turtleneck and a pair of fucking Zubas.
And she goes, which turtleneck do you want to wear
to the formal orchestra concert?
And I was like, you are outside your mind
if you think I'm wearing one of those.
Because we didn't have any money.
So this was to her.
This was like most she could do for dress-up clothes.
And I was like, well, I guess give me the green one.
She goes, you're wearing the purple one and i was crying so hard i was 26 grade
everybody else was wearing tuxedos and you were on zubas everybody else had tuxedos all the girls
had like very fancy shit on and i'm just in there like a fucking wrestler at a steakhouse
so cute yeah you were so cute it's time for immersion therapy dude it's time for immersion
therapy you got to wear nothing but turtlenecks for the next month no way yes no way you get a turtleneck on me as
an adult you would look like a dude who has like some lizards yeah i'll be you guys will i'll put
a turtleneck on for you you'll see good it ain't gonna be tight i don't think it'll be tight but
ain't gonna be good also speaking of being poor do you ever remember i remember being poor and like wearing a lot of shirts from like elementary schools i
didn't go to because they were like donation shirts did you ever have that no well fuck me
i had a lot of like half price store stuff where it's like this brand was cool
eight years ago or something and you're like you're wearing or like knockoff polo where it's like this brand was cool eight years ago or something and you're like
you're wearing or like knockoff polo where it's like where it's like not a polo association oh
yeah it's like a fucking like a dog or something right here where the where the horse should be
and if you get real close you can see that i got it at walgreens and not yeah now if a dog was where
the horse should be that's a whole different story and now you're entering my neighborhood my whole neck of the woods dude and i don't know if you can
you might need to stay on the porch that's your biography right a dog where a horse should be i
don't know i don't know that you can run with the big dogs like that sean i haven't sounds like
sounds like porch talk to me i'll get off the porch and shit in anyone's yard you put a yard
in front of me you stay on that fucking porch dude don't you talk to me like that i will shit in whoever's yard you don't know about jurassic bark if i gotta poop i'll poop
is there any money in making big dog shirts but just saying what they were insinuating
just like big dogs fuck and that's the that's the whole shirt i think there is some money in that
i'm gonna get i going to get rich.
Big dogs do what they want.
We still fuck.
Big dogs can still fuck.
Yeah.
Your third pick, Dave.
Oh, my third pick.
That fucked me up because she took Tony.
I bet you're going to take one of mine.
I can feel it.
Johnny Bravo.
Yeah. Yeah. Totally.. Johnny Bravo. Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, mama.
Hi-ya.
He knew karate.
He was always getting girls.
He lived with his mom.
He was basically Elvis.
It was interesting that they made him Italian.
That was the whole thing, right, was that he was Elvis, right?
But he was Italian.
And a blonde Italian at that. A blonde italian a blitalian a blitalian
it's a common
and there's the blirish
it's funny because blah it's also black
i think a blirish something to shaquille
o'neal tracy brady you know what i mean that kind of thing well those are black african americans
oh yeah i just my bride she's blycelandic so it's you know a lot of culture she's from blyceland
but yeah johnny bravo man that guy was hilarious that i really watch it now
no but it served a purpose why not was it i i mean i barely remember it i remember really liking it
but i can't really remember a lot of cartoons anymore except for obviously except for oh too
good for it huh no i just don't except for king of the hill except for i watch more now because
i have a child and boys are fun what cartoons are you showing your kid
or what are they showing you
Sean
I don't know
Bluey
on Disney Plus
I've been hearing about Bluey
is the fucking best cartoon for kids
it is good for the kids
what age you thinking
Max is 8 months when did they start caring for kids when it is good for the kids it's good what age you're thinking yeah because max is eight
months when did they start kind of giving a caring um maybe like around a year okay when they're like
looking yeah and now especially like she sings the theme song and she goes like when it comes on
it's this australian dog family and of all, they have a sick house.
I'm like trying to buy a house right now.
And I just keep checking out Bluey's Real Estate.
They have an open concept kitchen, blah, blah, blah.
But it's like their 10 minute episodes,
seven to 12 minute episodes.
Oh, perfect.
The parents always play with the kids.
Parents have no boundaries.
That kind of annoys me. But it's just, they're like such a fun family.
Bluey's good.
Daniel Tiger's neighborhood.
Let's see.
Fritz the cat.
What?
Nothing, sorry.
I'll send you some suggestions,
but don't get,
Cocomelon is the thing that everyone.
They get drugged up, right?
They get all blissed out.
Am I the only one who's heard about that?
I think I've heard about that.
I don't know.
So stop giving Maxine Cocomelon? Is that what you're saying? They get all blissed out? Am I the only one who's heard about that? I think I've heard about that. I don't know.
So stop giving Maxine Cocomelon?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, you gotta stop giving... Yeah.
Okay.
Because it like sets off their...
It's like drugs for little kids.
Yeah, I don't know.
I could tell.
I mean, this is a whole other draft.
I will take any advice,
anything that you have,
any tips, anything that you've had fun doing
i'd love to hear about it yeah i mean obviously you don't have to right now
amistad sit her down let her know what's going on yeah well we'll talk off pod i mean i held her up
to higher learning i'm just like spook like we're getting there you know yeah i understand you want
to start a strong foundation of education yeah we're we're going to go watch. We need to talk about Bill Cosby together later.
Man.
Yeah, that's going to be a heavy one,
but it's going to get watched.
Sean Jordan, it's time to watch what your next pick is.
We talked about Entourage.
I love Entourage.
It's one of my favorite shows.
I love Turtle.
I've always loved Turtle.
He's a great person.
I understand. We're all
very aware that show has
its problems and there's no getting around
it.
I know it's hard if you take
that out of there. If you try to
which is hard to do but Turtle
is a good dude. You're talking about Salvatore
Turtle Asante? I am. Remember he only tells his name to one person. to which is hard to do but turtle's a good dude you're talking about salvatore turtle asante i am
remember he only tells his name to one per well it's uh rufus's daughter when he starts trying
to date rufus's daughter but she's like makes him take his hat off and then tells him tells her his
real name and then you're just like oh man you're he's just i don't know he's just so funny he's so
cool he uh he's like i don't know he he gets picked on he takes it the most
from everyone he's like the glue i feel like he's the glue if everyone's fighting they can look at
turtle and turtle will make it all better and i i like that i kind of identify with i like being
also he was a chubby dude in a sweatsuit yeah and i'm i wouldn't have to sell him to me man
you remember when it was like cool it maybe maybe i guess i don't know what's cool anymore but he everything would match it's
like that was cool for sure a red yankee like a red jersey and then some red dunks or something
literally wore that yesterday tight with your red yankee just like yeah i mean i'm wearing like a
like i have a full sweatsuit on right now
and i'm gonna put on a black hat after this so hell yeah yeah yeah all turtle shit was i just
watched the episode the other night where he got those 1200 velour pajamas to wear to the playboy
mansion hell yeah he's just dope he's just dope he's the only one of the who i'd actually want
to hang out with i don't know for sure yeah yeah we should try harper knows him to hang out with out of any of them for sure yeah yeah we should try harper knows him to hang
out with turtle oh jerry to get jerry ferreira yes harper's brought it up before maybe anyway
it's neither here nor there but i just i just love him i i think he's fantastic he seems like a rad
fun character and uh he's just a good dude good vibes yeah i like a turtle turtle turtle turtle
he was inspired by mark walberg's real life assistant donnie donkey carol
yeah okay mark walberg has his crew on there one in like the pilot episode you see the they all
they all walk it's like bizarro seinfeld they all walk at each other you look at their counterparts
and you're just like what do you know the real dudes are fucking brutes the only ones that go
together are adrian grenier and mark walberg just because they're both very attractive.
But other than that, you're like, this is different.
No, the real entourage guys look like they are going to beat you up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They look gnarly and they probably look like.
Yeah.
But anyway, they look like dudes in an entourage.
Julia, time for your third pick.
Just one. Yes. Just one.
Just one pick?
I'm going to go
with Dorothy
Zbornak, but
her maiden name is Petrillo.
Dorothy from the Golden Girls.
Oh!
Really?
Hell yeah.
I mean, do I even have to explain why i picked a b arthur
character you should but you don't have to i mean first of all the golden girls do you know that the
golden girls on the show were younger than the women on and just like that the sex in the city
spinoff that's fucking insane to me wait really hold on hold on hold on hold on
yeah the the movie that just came out the the and just like that in the golden girls they were
younger they were younger they they were portrayed the women in the golden girls were i read this
somewhere like and but that's how we used to they just weren't allowed to be like people over 50
sexual and embrace that shit they were sexual though do you remember the episode of the golden
girls where they had a price check on condoms because they were going on a crew blanche was
fucking no the whole crew the whole nobody was all it was rose dorothy and blanche and they all
and like you know dorothy was like always you know she was tall and she always had like a
you know talking about matching
outfits she would always have like a
a robe
with like a loose pant set
and I remember she grabbed condoms
and she threw them on the counter and they all bought condoms
and then the guy the guy at the counter had to do a price
check on the condoms
but they were buying condoms to go on a cruise because they
all fuck not people yeah so um so i mean dorothy zbornak just her her her deep one-liner you know
those like you know when she would talk to her she'd be like no rose we're gonna be on a boat
you know like she would just always shoot her down and god i love her yeah love her her ex-husband
stanley you know.
You know what's crazy, too, is her mother in that show was played by Estelle Getty.
Yeah.
Who was one year younger than Bea Arthur.
Yep.
Yeah.
That's all.
The magic of wigs.
Wigs.
Wigs.
You know, I didn't know really about wigs until a couple years ago.
And, like, they're much more common than you think. I didn't know. Oh wigs until a couple years ago and like they're much
more common than than you think i didn't know yeah i had no idea yeah there was on the new
season of queer eye one of the women has a wig on and jonathan she's talking to jonathan about
her hair and he goes is it a wig and she denies it and he goes you know i do hair professionally
right it's just that where it's like i i would have had no idea i misspoke they're the same age
as in just like that dorothy and rose were supposed to be 55 blanche was in her early 50s
and sofia was 80 miranda and charlotte and in just like that are 54 and carrie's 55 wow
so dorothy and rose were supposedly the same age as Carrie. Wow.
That is pretty wild.
And just like that, we changed ageism.
And just like that.
And just like that.
I just closed my laptop.
Oh, damn it.
Excellent pick. That's sick.
Hell yeah.
Time for my third pick.
I'm going to take Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond
I love her
absolutely
she's so fun
played by Doris Roberts
a comedy
great I think
she's just so fucking
funny and like also another area
where I think like Jewish mothers and Italian
mothers are pretty similar
not to paint with a broad brush but to paint
with a broad brush where they will get
involved in your life and they do
and you will always be their little baby
I know that's true like
everywhere like you'll always be my little baby that's the thing
moms say no matter what but like
there is very much a like no I'm going to treat you like a child i'm gonna wipe you got some shit on your face i'm
gonna wipe it off for you type thing i think that's universal i think that's happens with most
cultures but like it's definitely it happens in ours my uh my mom just discovered everyone
loves raymond like a few years ago. And, uh, and,
uh,
we,
we have a plastic,
we have two couches with plastic on them.
And she,
she refers to the show to be like,
she goes to see,
it is not only me.
And I'm like,
it's a fictional character.
She goes,
see this,
the lady does.
And I'm like,
no,
your parents are from Italy, Italian.
Yeah, they came on a boat, even though I believe planes might have been available.
I think they were.
They really wanted to go hardcore.
They just wanted to get the full experience.
I get it.
Yeah.
I get it.
Where did they move to when they came over from Italy?
Watertown, Massachusetts, right outside of Boston.
Wow.
Was there a big Italian community there?
I mean, my whole family.
I don't know if that's – it's actually a very big Armenian town.
Oh.
But like someone owned a deli and so they all moved there.
I mean, that's honestly I think is what the story is.
My grandfather worked at – owned a butcher shop deli and yeah I don't know but they met
here they both they immigrated at different times
and then they met in Watertown Massachusetts
that's crazy
but yeah Marie Barone fantastic
her
use of guilt as a weapon
rang very familiar
to me
and I should
say mom I love the fact that you treat me still like your little. And I should say, Mom, I love the fact
that you treat me still like your little baby, and I'll always
be your little baby, because Sue Carmel
listens to this podcast.
She does listen to this podcast.
I was going to do the same thing.
Another duet.
Wow, we got to
record an album.
Yeah, Bori and Roz.
We're going to keep it going. Yeah going yeah we gotta get the band back together yeah it's the band is still together yeah the band is together god damn it's together
the band is together she's just i love her i love uh i love marie brown the character in time for my
fourth pick as it is a serpentine draft it sure is i
i'm getting like everybody i want uh uh uh i took a gangster i'm going to
hop to the other side of the uh fence here i'm taking colombo first name
first name unknown i thought his name was Frank.
Nobody knows his first name.
It's never revealed in the show.
It's never revealed.
No way.
Is it on IMDb?
He doesn't have a first name, my friend.
You can go looking for it.
That is pretty cool.
Played by Peter Falk.
Just a fucking...
Dana got me into watching Columbo.
Amazing.
I love it.
Very smart guy.
So good.
So satisfying. And one more thing good so satisfying and one more thing
oh and one more thing always solves the crime it's such a fun show you should watch it if you
haven't watched it you should watch it you know the general was here for a month and uh colombo
perry mason hung out with us every night colombo and perry mason can i say i had a weird perry
mason phase myself when i was young really yeah you remember that channel packs
yeah they had perry mason on there they had a lot of weird old shit that i got into i might be
that that i pretty sure that's what we were watching is it still a channel i don't know
i i'm pretty sure i stream now i'm very well we'll get to the bottom of it eventually uh but colombo
i don't have i don't have much else to say other than fucking watch him he never carries a gun he's fantastic you find out i mean his name's colombo but you find
out he is indeed italian because there's an episode where the murderer is a food critic
and he cooks up like a beautiful like italian like a spaghetti bolognese for him that his dad
taught him uh now that is my fourth pick we will get to the rest of the fourth round after this short break.
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promo code all fantasy welcome back to all fantasy everything already in progress uh we're about to
get to julia razzi's fourth pick julia it is hold on i just want to make sure it is uh because i'm
switching it hold on, hold on.
Ooh.
It's going to be, I said,
I don't know if I should,
oh,
do I go with my first?
I'll go with my,
no,
I'm going to go with this person.
Listen to your heart.
Listen to your heart.
Listen to your heart.
Yeah.
Louie De Palma.
Taxi.
Oh,
yes.
Danny DeVito.
Interesting.
Taxi pick.
Okay.
I was going to go with somebody else i was thinking i guess i'll share
later no no no not even from taxi from a completely different show but i really picked it because i
love danny devito the best i mean it's not i mean he's just he's so i i feel a kinship with him i
think we've all felt like a Danny DeVito at times.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I always feel like the small, smart twin.
Yeah.
I haven't watched a ton of Taxi.
I haven't watched a ton of Taxi either.
My parents used to watch it.
But he hangs out up in the booth, right?
He's like the dispatch guy?
He's the boss. Yeah. He's like the dispatch guy.
He's the boss.
Yeah.
He owns, he runs the place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he's just like, everything he does is just so great.
So I'm kind of cheating because I'm kind of picking the actor more so than the character.
That's all right.
You found a way around the rules.
That's what we're here for.
I get it.
I fucking love Danny DeVito.
And then the interest of time, Sean Jordan.
So, all right. I fucking love Danny DeVito and then in the interest of time Sean Jordan so alright
I'm gonna go with a cartoon
oh man
what am I gonna do
this is what I was wondering if it was gonna be
I'm gonna try it
you let me know if I can do this
cause there's no proof
and this is where I was wondering if I was gonna be a jerk
Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force he's Italian is he not uh and this is where i was wondering if i was going to be a jerk carl from aquatine hunger
force he's italian is he not he is from new jersey for sure he is definitely from new jersey
can i pick that i think you can i know his last name is no no no i didn't know he had a last name is... No. No? I didn't know he had a last name. His last name is Brutana Nannadaluski.
Brutana Nannadaluski.
Not Italian.
That's not Italian?
Maybe his mom was Italian.
Maybe?
That's true.
What would that last name be?
Well, made up.
But I think referencing perhaps Central and Eastern Europe.
Okay.
Then I don't have to pick it i was
this is that's what i was wondering so then my fourth pick will be chuck mangione from king of
the hill oh that's funny all right that's really funny you know he's real yeah um in that show
he's the he's the spokesperson for megalomart yeah he lives in the megalomart we've discussed
that show in length but just the brilliance of
everything in that show and just the fact that chuck mangino doesn't really do anything in the
show except be the spokesperson for megalomart he really doesn't say much he's just like the face
of megalomart and it's hilarious to me every now and again he'll show up somewhere and they'll be
like that's chuck mangino it's just he's like the shit in that universe yeah he's like the
biggest celebrity they could imagine is chuck mangione who's like a horn player in real life
yeah yeah i didn't know so i didn't know any of that till last i didn't really know like the
backstory yeah he's a horn player amazing and uh a very good one from what i gather
david tell me your fourth and then your lightning round final pick I love that
Julia picked Danny DeVito
because I'm picking
Carla Tortelli from Cheers
Yes you are!
Love her so much
She was a badass, so funny
and that first season she had a bunch
of kids, she was always taking the piss
out of everybody, love it
She's so fantastic, I didn't even think about that that's amazing uh
the jews and italians coming together rhea perlman yeah yeah yeah yeah i love yeah i love
rhea i think she's so funny i think carla was so funny in that show and my last pick i'm going out
on a cartoon i'm taking from the show recess ashley spinelli yeah absolutely
i never saw recess you never saw recent oh it was so fun recess was such a good show it's a
really great is it still on it's not i don't think so but it's up there i put it up there
with hey arnold as far as like wow it's so good i mean they were right in the same the same era
but god recess was so fun to watch it's, it's a really, really good show.
But yeah, so Ashley Spinelli from Recess.
Fantastic.
I'm out.
Sean Jordan, your final pick.
My final pick, thankfully they made a TV show
where this gentleman is in the show
because I wanted his character from the movie
because it's one of my favorite movies of all time.
And now there's a TV show with Daniel LaRusso in it.
So I can pick Daniel LaRusso and I get the Karate Kid.
But, you know, I'm picking Cobra Kai as Daniel LaRusso.
Well done.
Just, I mean, what are we doing?
It's amazing.
Anyway, so Daniel LaRusso.
Represent the Valley.
Julia, your final pick.
I'm going to go with, you might not know who this is, Topo Gigio.
Topo Gigio. I want to know who that is. Do this is, Topo Gigio. Topo Gigio.
I want to know who that is.
Do you know who Topo Gigio is?
Uh-uh.
He cuts my hair now.
It is a 1960, and so I don't know if I'm cheating because it's not an American, it's an Italian
cartoon mouse or puppet mouse.
Topo Gigio.
He made special appearances on American television.
He has huge ears.
And he's like, I'm a Topo Gigio.
He's so fucking cute.
He is adorable.
I see him now. He's adorable.
I'm Googling him right now.
He's got ears.
And I just feel like, you know, we need him for speed.
I just feel like he could, I don't know, if we need to run.
I get it.
We got Topo Gigio.
Topo Gigio.
He was on the Ed Sullivan show.
Look at this little guy. He's all over the place.
Oh my gosh, he is cute.
Got his little overalls on.
I like Topo Gigio.
He looks kind of stoned.
People think Topo Chico's
the original Topo, but it's Topo Gigio.
Try Topo Gigio.
Excellent pick.
Time for me and my final pick. I'm going to take a man who placed himself on tv
you can tell me this person isn't a character but i disagree i'm taking guy fieri yeah sure yeah
absolutely wait it wait it i love i love flavor what's to like? It shows a level of confidence when
if somebody says they don't like him for
whatever reason, then it lets me know that
okay, so you're that worried
about how people see you.
I understand we're all a little bit worried about it, but
he's dope. Yeah, but you're letting it
get in the way of having a good time, and that's what Guy
Fieri is. A good fucking time.
It's frustrating with that shit. And a great
Italian. Guy Fieri. A huge basketball fan. A charitable man. exactly it's just it's frustrating with that shit a great and a great italian guy fieri a huge
basketball fan a chair a charitable man we really we really needed him after all the giuliani and
cuomo shit went down you know we needed a hero and thank god for fieri yeah a lot of people don't
realize very large italian population in flavor town yeah yeah big time hell yeah that's the final pick marissa do you have a final pick yeah my pick is from
orange is the new black it's lorna morello she's just a crazy bitch and i love her
she's a crazy bitch and i love her
marissa you're a crazy bitch and we love you oh thank you david isn't that isn't that a song yeah by
buck cherry my mom saw it live and like oh yeah sorry i forgot yeah he has a bit i'm sorry david
you went first you took stefano de mera bob pinciati johnny bravo carla tortelli and ashley
spidelli sean you went second you took jip r Rossetti, Andrew DeLuca, Salvatore Turtelisante,
Chuck Mangione, and Danny LaRusso.
Julia, you went third. You took Laverne
DeFazio, Tony Maselli,
Dorothy Zabornak,
Louis DePalma, and Topo Gigi.
I went last. I took
George Costanza, Tony Soprano, Marie
Barone, Columbo, and Guy Fieri.
We left some great picks on the board. Julia,
this is where you can say who you were going to take.
I was struggling between
the Danny DeVito character
and Vinny Barbarino.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Vinny Barbarino's on my list.
But then I picked based on the actor.
For sure. I get that.
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
What a show.
We left Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls on the board.
Tommy Carselli from The Wire. Oh, I a show. We left Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls on the board. Tommy Carselli from The Wire.
Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos, played by Lorraine Bracco.
Carmela Soprano?
Are you kidding?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Arthur Fonzarelli, one of the classic TV characters.
Yeah, I didn't know too much.
I couldn't speak on happy days
because i haven't i haven't really seen it fat fat tony from the simpsons very funny the fat
guy for boy meets world yeah we want to hear your picks hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter all
fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the all fantasy everything patreon we love you
thank you for holding us down shout out to everyone on AFE Shaslackity on the subreddit.
Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to
Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important
than all of that, tune in again next week
to another brand new episode of All
Fantasy Everything.
Mamma Mia!
Ha ha ha! that was a hate gun podcast