All Fantasy Everything - Mall Stores (w/ Amy Miller)

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Our run of extremely AFE-core topics continues.Guest:Amy Miller (@amymillercomedy)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. At Participating McDonald's for a limited time. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting stores at the mall. Our guest today is our dear friend Amy Miller. I'm your host, Ian Carmel.

I say hello too. And with me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Boren. Hello. Hey. Hey. All perfectly timed hellos. What's happening?

A fine hello all around. Hey, top of the morning blood. Hello father, self-fucked someone's father. I am someone's father now. I'm the only dad on this podcast, isn't that crazy? Does it bother you when, has anyone been like, what's up dad? Does that bug you yet?

No, but people say it to Dana and it does, I don't know if it actually bugs her because it's mostly people in my family. But I think if strangers. Hey mama. Hey mama, there's mama. Mama, mama. Yeah, my family does it with so much love.

I think she will hate it if like a stranger comes up to her like, oh hey mama. Like that kind of thing. Better when the baby's out than when you're pregnant, I guess, and then people just touch your shit and call you mama. Insane. And I'm like, I'm just fat. out then when you're pregnant I guess and then people just touch your shit and call your mama. It's insane. And I'm like I'm just fat.

I tried to get Laura to do that. She wouldn't do it. I tried. I was like tell him you're not pregnant. I wanted her so bad to do that. She was fat. That would be amazing if you were just that kind of fat. If you were just in a big pregnant belly.

If you were fat like a Tim Burton claymation. It's like an old Irish man who drinks a lot fat. A real hard belly. Bing, bing, bing, bing, like if you knock on it. Well Ian, I gotta say you're already doing better than all three of our fathers combined. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Mine didn't have a smile on his face till he was gone. Well, I'm in the other room right now. That's the only reason I don't have a feral brow and I'm heavy sighing all the time. Hold on, can you guys hear that? No. No. Isaac, can you hear that? Is that your naked cat getting bullied?

Oh, okay, good. They're doing something on the street. Oh, now I hear it. Yeah. Shit, let me look out. Sounds like you got some biker boys out there. Street racing? Yeah, what's going on?

That's what I heard. I heard all of that. There's a biker gang. They're circling David's house. They're just staring out there, get out here, boy. You finally tracked him down. Time to pay for your sins. We told David he shouldn't have joined the Mongols.

That was a mistake from day one. I had a, when I was in sixth grade, I was at my buddy Jason's house and this dude was outside with a big old knife in the front yard screaming at us to get out. He's like, get out of here. He is nuts. Did you go out?

That's a school tie shit. They are doing work on the street. Is that, will we be able to record like this, Isaac? I can, yeah, there's some AI shit I can do. You'll be all right. Okay, thank you. Some Allen Iverson shit? Yep, I can do some crossovers. Act like AI shit. I can do you'll be right okay. Thank you Alan Iverson shit Yep, I can do some crossovers act like it's me clearing my throat the whole time

We found out pre recording that Isaac has been editing out all of our throat clears We've gotten a lot of complaints like how come you guys never clear your throat? What's up with you guys never clearing your throat? We haven't gotten to the bottom of why Sean is clearing his throat so much more lately. I don't think I have been. I'm also 43, so maybe it's just nature. Mid-40s. He's in his mid to late 40s, so at this point... I'm in my early to mid 40s. We're early. We're still early. Sean's in his... You're in your early 40s.

Sean's in his mid to late 40s, which we can tell from the mucus content. It's more of a biological, now that I'm in my early 40s, I have to sort of create a distance between myself and our senior member. I get that. I'm the old guy. I'm the senior member, I think, today.

No, I'm older than you, aren't I? I'm gonna be 44 in a couple weeks. Then yes. I know, I think, today. No, I'm older than you, aren't I? I'm gonna be 44 in a couple weeks. Then yes. I know, I just look great. David, I really appreciate your face. You look great. No, I was just thinking, I was trying to do the math, and I was like, I was trying to do the math

of how much older you are than me. I just kind of assumed I was older than you. It is confusing, because it feels like when we met, David, like you were 12, you know? It didn't feel that way to me. But I was kind of a full grown person. I thought I was a man. I thought I was a full man.

Out of here. In the streets. Chicken in my backpack, I was doing it. For the people who are only listening to this, Sean and Amy are both festively attired. Yeah. Myle. I got the-

You got some lights up here. I don't know, Margot. Check that out. Yeah, look at that. Christmas sweatshirt too. Dave, what's the country style? We trizolate. Also festive.

Shout out to Art Finnell's Country Style, my favorite YouTube. Trizolate. What is that? They just make Southern delicacy. Is this guy Art Finnell who was a weather weather or he was a sportscaster in Philly. Yeah. And during pandemic, he went back to South Carolina and he would just film him and his family, you know, having fishing contests, making wine, making hot cheese. And it's so fun and his brother, Dan Finn, he always says, he says like when he makes food,

he says we gotta let it trizzulate. So that's why this shirt says we trizzulate. They have an outdoor kitchen? Indoor outdoor? They have all kinds of outdoor stuff. That's the dream. It's a whole cast of characters. Those guys are having a good time.

Could you sorta attempt to explain what trezolatin is or is it more of an ineffable thing? It's ineffable, it's in the ether, you know what I mean? But it does make me hungry. Yeah, no it works. It gets effective, yeah. It works, he's always like, we gotta let it trezolate. Yeah, damn.

That's what I'll have. I'm gonna ask Dan to express if the orange chicken has been trezolatin for a while the next time I go. Trisillatin fajita platter's coming out. We are here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I briefly wrestled under the name the Trisillatin fajita platter. Fajita platter. Yeah. Four and O. Four and O? I was told it was culturally insensitive and not for the reason you're thinking,

so I had to stop. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently the Greeks were upset. The thinking. So I had to stop. Apparently the Greeks were upset. You know how they are. Their economy had just bottomed out and they were looking for something dependent on. And you can never guess which reason I'm thinking Ian.

Never. Could be anything. Could be any of the five. It's in the sign of maturity that we didn't make a Tresillate and Fajita Platter joke about Shane Torres, or is it that we're off our game? Yeah, I think it's maturity. I'm also feeling bad

because I forgot to text him back last night. I texted him back last night, don't worry, one of us did. Thank God. Sean? He didn't text me last night. Wow. Me neither. Well, it's because it goes in your mid-40s.

Hey. Yeah. That was he. He texts me to be up on the youth. Hey, Bobba, what's drill music? Oh, really? No, no. I doubt it.

I'm in Poughkeepsie and I heard the kids talking. I would. Speaking of the kids though, I did get, Alana got me a shy-ste for when I ride my bike when it's cold. Yeah, dude. Nice. Yeah, that's pretty cool. People just wear those and keep them on, huh?

Like they'll just, they'll get somewhere and then keep them. It looks wild to me, it's so scary. People record a damn podcast with them on. Dude. It seems so comforting. People record a damn podcast with them on. Dude. It seems so comforting. You pull it down under your lip or you leave it over your mouth? You want to talk about it? Wow. It looks cool. I don't know.

Such a subtle placement of the swoosh. Yeah. Right? Just to the left of where your flavor saver would be. It's actually very warm. I'm gonna take it off. You look a little bit like a Saudi Arabian shot putter in the Olympics, right? With how they have the sports hadji bond and it's like skin tight, you know?

You look cool as hell. See, look at how scary you look, dude. That's cool. Down about to drop. Yeah, that's awesome. They call me Nike mouth. Are you winter biking? Headphones are off, can't answer the question.

I thought you asked if it was a winter biking. You said winter biking. Are you winter biking, David? Well, yeah, a little bit. Yeah. It's better than when it's hot. No, I love it on a nice day. I love it when it's hot out.

Your hands get so cold. Like gripping the thing, they get like painful. I got some gloves as well. Gloves. Okay, here you go. I got the North Face gloves and the Nike shy-stees, so I want people to think like, oh, he's just taking a break from making beats.

Yeah. Yeah. You kind of just look like a guy on his way to work. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's also the time I do it is guy on his way to work. Yeah. You know? Yeah, it's also the time I do it is usually on the way to work time. On his way to work as Timbaland's sound engineer,

specifically. Yeah, yeah. Like in my head, it's like, oh yeah, Timbaland rented an apartment downtown to get that new One Republic album done. I don't know who he's working with. He's working. I'd be like, that guy's on his way to work and he has a car, but he's letting his girl use it today

because she had a big interview. Yeah, that's a good life. I like that. An unsurprising thing about the One Republic guy is that he was a fan of the Late Late Show with James Corden. Was it? Did you guys see him a lot? No, no, but he would like, he would like always like

tweet it or like DM me like, great job last night. Like stuff like, which was very nice. Super nice. Incredibly kind. But you're also like- Is he one person? Is he one person? Is this like a nine inch nails thing? One Republic is a man, but he's the dude.

Oh, he's like Hooty. He's Hooty. Okay. And he's like Ryan Tedder. Okay, Isaac only has drop. Of course you know Ryan Tedder's name on the rip. They're the beach scene in the new Top Gun song, right? I ain't worried about it right now. Yeah, that's the one.

Pretty on key, huh? Yeah, you can tell. Couldn't tell I was sick. Isaac, is Ryan Tedder big in the people who care about how speakers sound community or what? I mean, he's a really really talented songwriter a very good producer He's yeah, he's really well respected and he's very humble. So he knows like his limitations like he's he's known for that unlike a Maybe a Jack Antonoff type Sean Jordan out here dude Sean Jordan Jack Antonoff two of a kind

I just learned about Jack Antonoff, two of a kind. I just learned about Jack Antonoff like a week ago. I didn't start Jack Antonoff until I was in like sixth grade. I was late. I've been on him for a while. Beaten off. Oh, that was so much worse than not laughing. Yes. I've been on him because he dated Lena Dunham

and we keep track of what famous guys fuck chubby girls. We keep a list. When you say we. How do you know they had sex? We as the chubby girls. Were they married? Did they get married?

You know what? They probably didn't have a lot of sex. Lena Dunham strikes me as someone who's never in the mood. I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed right now. Didn't you say something like, now you can eat in bed or now you can get crumbs in bed after they broke up, something like that? I don't know. That's why they broke up?

That's crazy. I don't eat in bed. No, me neither. I think that's bonkers. No way. Sometimes as a treat, but then you gotta put like an extra towel down An extra towel Cup situation you got crumbs on my sex towel

Lena Donovan opened up about moving out of the home that she and her music producer ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff had shared together. Dunham and Antonoff split in January 2018 after over five years as a couple. The last time I saw the apartment was when we agreed, with love, that someone had to go, she wrote, recalling the words Antonoff said to her as she moved out. You can finally eat in the bed without anyone getting mad at you, he said through tears. Oh, that was way sadder than I thought. I thought it was funny, like a funny barb. It was him really upset.

He was eating in the bed a lot. Yeah, clearly. And weird stuff, like triscuits. A brisket. Yeah, clearly like- Triscuits and brisket. Too much crunch. Chicken, big rotisserie. A brisket. Yeah, clear like- Brisket and brisket. Too much crunch.

Chicken, big rotisserie. Just crunch and sauce. Oh, gosh. Putting, breaking up, I've done this before, so this is not coming from a place of judgment where you will pour like barbecue sauce into crunched up crackers or something like that. Oh yeah, dude, for days.

And then just kind of dip it. Little shred of cheese on there. Not bad at all. Yeah, yeah, she's having everything bagels in there. Jack Antonoff dated Scarlett Johansson in high school. Did you guys know this? I don't know anything about it for real. Yeah, they dated in high school.

And then it was Lena Dunham for a while. They went to Movie Star High? One of those ones, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. I've started voting on the Grammys. I joined, and he's nominated for so many things. Yeah. Also, every producer is a dude.

I'm not supposed to say this, but obviously I just vote for women, willy-nilly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to be knowledgeable about the categories.

Are you allowed to vote in every category? No, you pick like 10 or something. But all the producers were dudes, and Jack Antonoff is like seven different tracks. Like it's so nuts. Yeah. Seems like a hard gig to break into. Yeah, you gotta date Scarlett Johansson in high school.

Yeah, you gotta go Johansson, Lena Dunham, Marguer Qualley. You gotta hit the Quinella and then you can- That's somebody's Mount Rushmore. Yeah. Jack Ansonoff's Mount Rushmore Sean Jordan is here Sean is Jordan on Twitter Sean cougar melon Jordan on Instagram Sean Is there an on Shonda? Sean up on up on the show. He did. Hey, mr. DJ Shonda replay Shonda. Oh, that's very good

Hey, mr. DJ, Sean to replay. Sean, oh, that's very good. Hey, Mr. DJ, Sean to replay. Hey. What's going on? I'm doing the best I can. You're doing a great job. Giving my circumstances. I will be at Healing Comedy Club on Sunday in Portland, Oregon.

Please come out, doing my office Christmas party. I got a little PowerPoint presentation. I'm gonna be the boss for the night. I've hired five of my favorite comedians to come entertain all of my employees and there's gonna be some door prizes, some name tags. It's gonna be a good time, so come on out. I might even try stand up.

My arm, might even try stand up at the end of it. Who knows? I'm pretty good at being a boss in my company, so I'm gonna give it a shot. And then, you know. That's what everybody wants to hear, their boss do stand up. Hey, come on out.

If you agree with David Borey, come on out on Sunday, because that's what's happening. I've been there. The character starts now? Oh God. I said the character is starting now on this podcast. You're playing the boss right now.

Yeah, and you know. The show has the boss. In about, I think just after lunch, me and you could have our one-on-one. We're gonna listen to a couple calls. And they weren't terrible, but there's some things that we need to discuss that you did do and nothing that can't be fixed. So come to my office after lunch, we're going to hit the ground,

run in and I'll keep it real Cape and simple for you. I just want to get the synergy going and get you on a path to succeed moving forward here at mini haha credit solutions. Fantastic. I love how much it sounds like you've definitely never had a real job. I've had so many of those jobs. I've had people say almost that exact same thing to me.

I know. It's insane. Is your standup at the end in character or are you gonna be like, are you shaking it off? And like, actually it was me, T'was a ruse, has been Sean Jordan this entire time. I'm gonna try to do it in character. I actually it was me to twas a ruse has been Shawn Try to try to do it in character. I'm gonna dye my beard jet I'm a beard jet black. So you're not gonna run that past your wife. Is that one of your Christmas presents? I was gonna do it and not tell her and so I'm gonna do it. It doesn't have to be permanent. You know that right?

Yeah, I know but I don't want to ruin the bit. I'd like you to get your five o'clock shadow tattooed in. Get it tattooed. You look like Fat Joe. That'd take a lot. I'd look like Fat Eminem. The yellow one? That'd take a lot of cash. How much for you to get your beard tattooed on your face?

How much cash? Oh my God. God, no. No, a billion dollars. You wouldn't do it for a billion dollars? Yeah, of course, of course. Oh, so there was an answer. Play the fun game with me then. A billion dollars?

Stuff would really have to change for me to not, for me to even shave this thing off. Yeah. It looks good. I would love to see you shave it. Thank you. It does look good. I wanna see nothing up there.

When was the last time? It's been forever. When I first started standup, when Amy thought I was 12, that was probably the last. Probably why? Yeah. Probably got some kind of comment

at funny ass bitches and decided. The comedian, Takiyah, probably. Oh man. Oh, she. The funniest. She was amazing. Queenie TT made some crack about you being a baby. Yeah, yeah. And then he's never gone back. I did. Your chin was a privilege at that point.

Yeah, no, as soon as I lost the casino job, I was never gonna go back. Uh, that man who will never go back is David Borey. CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. Hey. Home for the holidays now. casino job I was never gonna go back. Uh, that man who will never go back is David Borey. Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. Hey! Home for the holidays now. Home for the holidays.

Uh, yeah, I got nothing, man. Go to patreon.com backslash David Borey by my special Birth of a Nation, or listen to it on all streaming platforms right now. That's what you can do for me. No dates really coming up though. Lovely. Some stuff in town. Oh, I guess December 22nd, I'm gonna be at,

I'm doing Elan's Dribbling Show in Five Points. If you're in Denver, that'll be on my Instagram, but that's about it really. Nice. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Amy Miller is here. Hello, everyone. Amy Miller is here. Hello, everyone.

Amy Miller across platforms. Yeah. Amy Miller comedy? Amy. Okay, I left Twitter finally. So sad, I know. I know, it's better for me. I've gotten real mixed up in some shit on there

and it's just time. It's time. It's time. I was like, I got on in 2006. That's insane. Was it Bush's president? It was brand new, right? I don't even think I did stand up yet. I didn't either.

I got on at South by Southwest when they launched it. And it was just a series of texts. It was like, remember that? So you were tweeting like, is eating a burrito? Like it was that kind of thing. And then you would get a text when your friend was eating a burrito. And I was like, this is the worst idea I've ever heard.

Almost 20 years later. I remember doing early, early on in comedy. They had me help host this tech award show in Portland. It wasn't the Webbies, but it was like, I forget exactly what it was, but it was early, early on. And they had this, people were live tweeting it early. And I remember watching it like,

this shit is so fucking stupid. Nobody is ever going to use this. Who the fuck cares about any of this? People are like looking at their phones and computers instead of like paying attention to each other. What the fuck are they doing? You know, and then like three years later, it was like the biggest thing on earth.

I have a, I should post it, but I have a blog spotot post from my blogspot. What was it? What.blogspot.com. So see they pot unblog. Oh! Oh ho ho ho! The Donald blogging movement.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like Twitter, worst idea ever, eat shit and die. That's like all it says. I wasn't wrong, it just took a long time to play out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of the worst ideas are incredibly popular.

Yeah, so I don't have that, but Amy Miller comedy on Instagram, that's all that matters really right now. Any dates coming up you want to point people toward? Oh yeah, well I'll be in Seattle. Come to Seattle the 27th and 28th of December. Oh very nice. The weird time between Christmas and New Year's. You gotta keep drinking. That's when people do stuff.

People are always back visiting and that's when they get away from their family after a couple days. Yes, let me fill your gap. New gap. That's what we got in it is to do. I got Colorado Springs, Boston, slash Cambridge, amymillercomedy.com for all those dates. Hot dates. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel, across platform, Twitter, Blue Sky.

I'm on Blue Sky, fine. How's that going? It's great. It's actually kind of nice. It's a little less, you know, on Twitter over 10 years, you've, I don't know, I don't know. You've like curate, you've like built up all these people you follow or whatever.

Like Blue Sky just started fresh and it's like, I just follow basketball people. Yeah. And that's, it's really nice. So it's all like basketball and college football. And that's all that I see on there. On YouTube, you can follow me at IKcooledyou. A lot of people have told me that I can indeed change it.

Somebody has taken just Ian Carmel. So I can't. Oh, no. I can't. Someone out there. You were two in your 40s. So follow me at I can't cool you. A man, somebody maybe in his mid to late 40s

took Ian Carmel, I don't know. I don't know. Have you tried to reach him? I don't, I gotta be honest, I don't know how. I'm not very good at YouTube. It's hard to, you can't DM people on YouTube, can you? That's what you have a team for. I guess so, okay, maybe I should, oh, you're so right.

Okay, I'll reach out to them and I'll see if I can get it. Use the team. For now, follow me at IKCoolJu, because my special, Comfort Beyond God's Foresight, now has an official release date. I was a few days early. February 4th, it's coming out exclusively on 800lbGorilla's website.

Nice. And then worldwide on the 18th of February, but you can see it early on. coming out exclusively on 800 Pound Gorilla's website. Nice. And then worldwide on the 18th of February, but you can see it early on. Oh, it's my brother's birthday. On the 18th of February? Yeah. That's why we timed it. I wanted him to be able to see it.

Yeah, happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday, dude. The big two, three, two, four. He turned 23. People are still 23? I'm crazy. I didn't know people were still 23. Yeah, 23 is turning 23. He's doing better than I was.

Man, he's doing better 23 than I was three years ago. Kids got a lot of potential. Jeez, what a cool guy. That's it. That's all I have going on. Buy T-shirt, swim club. You can watch my Don't Tell set, which just came out. I think it's pretty funny. People seem to like it. Commenting on how old I am.

Did that have something to do with me shaving my mustache? Yes. You look younger. I look younger without a mustache. Everyone was like 39. This guy looks like he just dropped his kids off at college. You know what I mean? Oh, God.

Those kids are mean on the don't tell clip. They're so mean on the don't tell clip. I'm like, I can't have the comments be funnier than the set. This is fucking me up. So I shaved my mustache. I'm like, I can't have the comments be funnier than the set. This is fucking me up. So I shaved my mustache and I would look like a fresh faced, probably only 41, I guess, I don't know, who knows. I was curating kind of an older, the mustache was long.

It was a real broom handle. It was long. It was long. Broom handle, broomstick? Broom handle? Yeah, broom handle. Broom handle. Push broom. Push broom mustache. It can't be broom handle broom handle broomstick broom handle Push broom mustache that can't be broom handle that handlebar

Handle handlebars different. That's a time. That's like a curled. I wasn't doing the curl was a real like see me Yeah, like this is a handlebar. Yeah. Yeah, that's a handlebar. Yeah, that's a handlebar Well, what's one that's curled at the side? That's got a name. It's not a handlebar It's got it's got an old-timey name, right? Yeah, old circus strongman A juggler? They call it the juggler? Or like a date rapey guy in Portland Big time, big time like Big wheel bicycle

One big wheel, one little one Fake open relationships Lindy Hopps wing dancing, sexual assault, perpetrator. Craft cocktails. Mixology. That's the fucking guy. Does that dude still exist in Portland?

Is that guy still around? I saw him four times this weekend. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would think he couldn't afford to live in Portland anymore. Like, I feel like a lot of those guys are gone. You can still take an Uber in from Forest Grove or whatever, they get here. I was thinking when I was there this weekend,

Sean drove me past Amy's old house, past you and your old apartment, Ian. And I was like, man, Portland does kind of stay the same. Yeah, it looks the same. Yeah, I was also just there for Ray Sean's thing, and I'm like, oh so much has changed, but then everywhere I went in to like get something, the person working was really didn't want anyone to be there. Yeah. Getting what that thing was. Like all the service I got was so bad, and I was like like this is so consistent. It's comforting almost.

Leave it to Amy to find a negative thing to say about the Rose City. We tried to go to Belmont station at like one and they were like we're shutting down and I was like what? We have like 15 people Sorry, we're not interested in turning a profit. They did that to us at Bonfire the other night at like midnight. And we were like, Warhammer 40-40 game tomorrow. So we can't. They used to be open till 3.30. I remember sitting.

Yeah, I remember sitting there being like, are you guys have to close? And they're like, whatever, bro. And now, yeah, the other night. They would bend some rules back in the day for sure. Not anymore. Are the nachos even still good? Okay, we can talk about that later.

Yeah, they are. Yes, they are. We're here to fantasy draft stores at the mall. This was suggested by the Patreon. Yeah. That's right? Yeah. And it's a good one.

It wasn't by me. I know that. Wasn't an Amy Miller suggestion. This is one from the Patreon that they were very fond of. We have dance story on the topic of the mall. We've danced on the topic of the mall. We drafted the mall. There's a big one.

I think was maybe the first one that Sean and David and I did together. I think so. Amy said last night, episode eight. Eight. We've drafted the food court at the mall. Yeah. And everything's stores.

So we have no food on this, right? We're not drafting food. Okay, that's what I thought. that's right specifically stores at the mall. They can be open. They can no longer exist But they have to be a store at the mall. Yeah Yeah, when we get into it, I want to say there are stores that are at the mall that do not seem like mall stores And do you know what I'm talking about when I say? Yeah, I know what you're talking about Let's not I Draft like mall stores. And do you know what I'm talking about when I say that? I know what you're talking about. Let's not.

I completely agree. Like a dojo? Well, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No, where do you think I spent the ball? Yeah, we'll get into, I'll have questions like I always do. I know it's more like when a mall's got like a target in it

is what I was thinking. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Where you're like, okay,'s got like a Target in it. Is what I was thinking. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Where you're like, okay, this is technically the mall, but. A Target is not a mall store, even if it's at the... They're rarely in the mall. Like they're, I know it. They have a mall entrance. I know that, I know, well, at the Galleria they do,

but like a lot of times the Target is like across the street. Like it's what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. It's its own little mini mall, you know, know. That's not draft those across the street stores. But the Galleria though, that is, that Target is in there. Target's in there. That's crazy.

It's in there. And there was a Red Robin there too. Briefly, it was the most gorgeous place on the planet. I love that Red Robin. We used to, we'd record sometimes and go have some drinks at that Red Robin in the mall. And I'm like, this is what it is. All the sauces with the bottomless fries.

Yeah, I remember sitting there, I remember just being like, just bring some fries now, even though you just brought these, just bring some more. They're gonna get eaten. I was the fries, early fries for the table guy, Red Robin, that was, I found that role at the age of 14. Hey, can we get some fries going? He's not paying.

Hey, can we get some fries? Ivan's just over there like, what are you doing? Yes, my good man. I Know I'm ashamed to say that I get the bottomless broccoli. You should be. Did you know you could do that? No, I didn't know you could do that. You can get bottomless of any of the sides. And I get the broccoli. Yeah, still fat, but I'm getting that broccoli. Someone else is going to get fries that will share with me.

Yeah, you're still going to get fries that will share with me. Yeah, you're still gonna get fries. Broccoli fries. The way we determine the order of this draft, broccoli fries, is through a rollicking game of rock-paper-scissors played between the three of you and we throw one shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, Amy wins!

A scissors against two paper, a natural dominating victory. Thank you. Now Amy, as the winner, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft, but before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? It's important, it's important to clarify that

because this is all of our first time on All Fans Say Everything. It's like filling an ice cube tray, concise. Let's keep it going. Jeez, the Hemingway here, a convenience. There we go, yeah, I love it. Short and to the point, dude. It's exciting, I'm sure everybody listening is pretty excited about it going. Geez, the Hemingway era continues. There we go. Yeah, I love it. Short and to the point, dude. It's exciting. I'm sure everybody listening is pretty excited about it, too.

I always wonder. I've been listening to Blank Check all the way through from the beginning, which is a fun movie podcast, and they have running bits where halfway through them, I'm like, fucking all right, wrap it up. It's fun. Okay, I had one person one time, he's like, hey, just trying to be cool,

you should get rid of that, fuck off. Wow. And I didn't say that to him, but I'm like, if you can't- What you just did. If you can't get past 30 seconds of some friends having fun, what is the point? If anyone should want to get rid of it, it should be me. And I think it's fun.

It was friends having fun. That's why, that's why I kept going. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, I'm gonna, I gotta go. I'm in a bad mood now. I'm gonna get out of here. You guys, you just handle this. You can't be in a bad mood in that sweatshirt, dude.

I'm the farthest thing from in a bad mood. It's the same sweatshirt you were wearing the last time I saw you. He's a Christmas boy. He loves a Christmas. He is a Christmas boy. Oh, I saw his lawn. I was at the Christmas party, and I was like, I'm gonna go to the party. I'm gonna gothest thing from in a bad mood. That's the same sweatshirt you were wearing the last time I saw you. He's a Christmas boy, he loves a Christmas.

He is a Christmas boy. Oh, I saw his lawn. I was at the Christmas party last night, dude. Red Flannel pants, a Red Flannel blazer hat, this sweatshirt, and my green, my Christmas dunks. I got some Christmas dunks. What Christmas party? When you say the Christmas party.

The helium. Oh, helium! Yeah, sorry, the Christmas, yeah, the helium Christmas party. It's fun, haven't been for a while. Awesome. Amy, as the winner, but basically if you pick fourth in the first round,

you pick first in the second round, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? Okay, I'm gonna go David, Sean, me, Ian. Okay. Hot corner. Okay. David, Sean, Amy, Ian. Hot corner. Okay. David, Sean, Amy, Ian is the order of the draft and we're gonna get to David's first pick

in the Stores at the Mall fantasy draft right after this short break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now it is the holidays, that is no surprise to anyone and I will speak for the gang, big fans of the holidays. Just the cozy months. You know, you get to throw on a nice little baggy sweater and you get to chill out.

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but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast to ever record live from the surface of the moon I'm bouncing everywhere. I know that Salvia had you thinking you were up there, but you weren't you were on earth

Right now in the sea of tranquility coming to you live. David, it's time for your first pick. Have you ever looked up Theo's full name? No. Theodore? Wait on us, Ian. Wait, hold on, let me look it up. Really interesting.

It's not Theodore, whoa! Okay. What if his name was Theodore, whoa? Theodore Kapitani von Kurnitowski III. Whoa. He's from Polish royalty. Yeah. Is he actually? Yes, he actually is. Curious or not curious? I know. Everyone's cosplaying Hillbilly these days. They don't want to live that life for real. I would love. Is that real? Love.

Not good, David. Not good at all. I would love to live that life. Their uncles don't have a crow. They might actually, Polish royalty might have some crows in the castle. They might have some crows at their service. But they're like for messages.

His uncle didn't get two DUIs in one day like Uncle Pat. Oh my God, he was born to Gina Capitani and Roland Theodore Achilles Von Kurnitowski. His father was from Nicaragua, but I don't think the way that most people are from Nicaragua. I think maybe in that bat, like they went there after some shit went down.

I think they might have been secreted to Nicaragua. I wanna be secreted somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Secreted away. Oh nice. All right cool, man of the people. Theodore Capitani von Kurnitowsky III.

Holy shit. All right Amy, it is time for your first pick. No, it's me. David, I'm sorry. No, it's all good, all good. David, it's time for your first pick. So this is the most aspirational store in the mall. To me, it was the one that I would go in

and I would say, when I'm a man, this is what it's gonna be like. Yeah. I'm taking the sharper image what it's gonna be like. Yeah. I'm taking the sharper image. Oh yeah. Of course you are. Just a bunch of adult tools you don't really understand. You know it does feel very manly too. I was thinking about sharper image, of course we all were.

Yeah. It's so good. But it felt like not accessible to me as a little girl. I get that. I get that. That's rude. No, that was for men who weren't condos. It was for men who weren't condos. It was back before everything was stainless steel.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Except for the back massagers for women. Oh yeah. And the fingers. Yeah, everything else felt very much for that, for the man with a condo, modern man. I thought it was for like a boss.

Like if you were a boss at work, you went to the sharper image. I need gadgets, I don't have time. Yeah. Deskacoutreman. I need those balls that keep clacking forever. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how they work.

I need to clack to infinity. To this day, I don't know how they work. There's a touch of, and this is gonna be a weird comparison, but stay with me, there's a touch of like the Heath Ledger or the Nirvana or what it like to the sharper image. Because we were never adults when the sharper image existed, right? With Heath Ledger, you know, did all these movies,

career cut short, never got to see what happened. Nirvana, you know, like a couple iconic albums, Kurt Cobain dies, never got to see what happened with Kurt Cobain. Would he have been on Dancing with the Stars? Would Heath Ledger, you know, like turned into, you know, the dude from Deadpool, you know what I mean? Where he's just selling us Mint Mobile

and only does movies for the attention. Like, would that have happened? Sharper Image, we never got to experience it as adults. No, I thought that shit was gonna be like Target for me when I grew up. Absolutely. Just gotta run down to the show. I hope you write over, I gotta go to Sharper Image.

Yeah, sorry, just gotta run by the SI real quick. When do you think the last time you saw it, like probably what, 15 years ago? More than that. More than that? More than that. Didn't they have one at Lloyd Center? Am I making that up?

Because I swear, I remember seeing one there maybe around then. But Lloyd Center clings to things a little longer. Yeah, they have stores. Time doesn't exist in the Lloyd Center. We love about it. Yeah, do you think you would have had a lot of that shit, David, like right now in your place?

No, not actually. I think he was a man that I thought I was going to be, not the man I became. Do you have a Roomba currently? I feel like that's the best version of anything grown up from the Sharp Room. I don't really have any gadgets. Like I'm looking around.

Gadgets kind of went out of style. I think there's still, I'm just not a gadget. I'm not a gadget guy. No, there's a lot of kitchen gadgets. You know what I do have at my disposal, though? Gadgets have moved to the kitchen. Ah. Hey!

Ah. California King on vinyl. Available. Available now. Right next to this, which is weird. Oh! And yet not. And yet not. Oh.

Oh. I don't know why. I don't know why. That's a man who goes to the sharper image. Come on. Martin Luther King Jr. in a new reg? Yeah. For sure, he stays at the sharper image

in the back of Russia. Cause you think about it now, I don't think it was like practical stuff. Didn't they also have a catalog? Yes. I mean, it was like Skymall kind of they also have a catalog? Yes, I mean it was like sky more Stuff right a lot of sky mall overlapped for sure. Yeah, there's still a website They've been like relaunched as like a you can go online and buy stuff from them Yeah, but come on. So if you get divorced you want to go online and buy stuff

Well, okay, so it's still the get. You know what's funny? The gadgets have like gift guides, holiday gift guides have kind of turned into like the sharper image where it's a lot of that like useless ephemera on here. They got one of those video camera bird feeders. Yeah, bird feed, you know, like it's got a video camera installed on it. Like a trail cams taken from a wife to a husband. It's a gift from a wife to a husband. It's a gift from a wife to a husband.

It's a gift from a nephew to an uncle. That's what Sharper Image is for. It's for a man or somebody, anybody buying a gift for a man who has everything. Here is a cassette to MP3 converter. Oh my god. No way. That's a double loss It's got Sean's attention

Some old tapes I need to listen to. You haven't been able to find online yet I think the only item I got was like the coin counter Oh I think the only item I got was like the coin counter. Oh, I remember that. Which did feel very adult. It felt very like I'm home from school. I got extra change in my pocket. I can't be bothered to count it. Toss them in.

And I'm gonna be rich at the end of this month somehow. Do you guys remember the, it was like, it looked like it was a hologram clock. I swear to God I was about to say that. They had, there was the one with like, that went back and forth, so it looked like the time was suspended in the air. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That was cool. Boxes with like mirrors in them, so they looked like they went on forever, like a, like a, like a Yaya Kasama room, like at a museum or something. It's a lot of like outfitting your office. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was for, I feel like.

My secretary got me this clock. Oh, thanks Janine. Whoa, I just, I went to the website too, they have a password vault. Great. Nice. What? For storing all your passwords. Yeah. That was the Clinton economy.

That was like Silicon Valley, the Clinton economy. People were like, I got so much money. I need to get an ice cube tray that tells me when it's frozen by making a loud beeping sound. Yeah. It's some of this crazy dumb shit. It couldn't have lasted. Because even when you fuck with the shit in store,

it doesn't work that well. Like it was all pretty beeping sound. Yeah. It's some of this crazy dumb shit. It couldn't have lasted, because even when you fuck with the shit in store, it doesn't work that well. Like it was all pretty poorly made. So we would just go play with it all and then not buy anything. No. They probably, there was probably more kids in there than adults.

Yeah. Which is also hilarious. Yeah, just six years old in the massage chair. I need this. When they tell the tale of the American Empire, the sharper image will be like the thing that they can't believe, where they were like, they just had a store full of useless objects that they could break and they were all $90? Just masturbation aids? That was the whole story?

Like Da Vinci's notebook. Yeah, like a little vibrating lightsaber. Like, I know what to do with this. Sean, you know what to do with your first pick, because it's notebook. Yeah, like a little vibrating lightsaber. Like, I know what to do with this. Sean, you know what to do with your first pick because it's time. Yeah, that was fantastic. I'm gonna go another defunct. This was kind of my whole mall when I was a kid.

This is really all I cared about. But I'm going to Aladdin's Castle. Ooh. What was that? I didn't even know what that is. That was the arcade, so the is. That was the arcade. So the arcade. Oh, the arcade, okay great. I thought Aladdin's Castle was a little more national.

No? Not on the West Coast. Okay, well just the arcade. Ours in the Midwest was Aladdin's Castle, but that was like the whole center of the mall until it went out of business. I mean that was all a kid cared about. Like by the movie theater?

We didn't have a movie theater in Ermaul. We just had the Aladdin's Castle and then it was like the gateway to the food court. But it's like, Hardee's was right across the way from it. But that's like, I'd kissed a first girl right outside of that. That was when I went in no tongue and she went in no tongue. And so I just like.

You both went in no tongue. No, I went in tongue, she went in no tongue. Oh, you went in tongue, oh. And no tongue. Oh, you went in, ugh. And that's tough. That's tough. And you already had your condom on. Yeah. Were you, was this sort of us going to.

I was naked, I was like, I just didn't know how it goes, I'm naked. Was this an us going to Toronto situation where you were denied entry at the border or what? Yeah, I tried to lie about it. Did you win her something from the claw machine? No, I won, I won embarrassment, ridicule. Then the next day, if I not told you guys this,

then the next day we went to kiss at the skating rink and she came in tongue and I had no tongue. So it reversed itself. It was rough. Man, you were having a tough time. But Aladdin's Castle, that was, I used to just go in and run Street Fighter. I would run Mortal Kombat.

I felt great. I would beat all the older kids. It was just go in and run Street Fighter. I would run Mortal Kombat. I felt great. I would beat all the older kids. It was just a blast. Everybody was there. That's where you knew you'd see all your friends was at the arcade, which is just amazing. I was kind of a Cruis'n USA guy at the arcade. Oh, Cruis'n USA was cool.

Into Cruis'n world eventually. You know what I always wanted to go back to Sharper Image was their change counter belts. I always thought those were the coolest thing in the world. Like when the Cade Master, they'd have their little. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? They'd have their belts.

Did you just say the Cade Master? Yeah. That's what we've called it. I've never heard that in my life. No one's ever heard that. That must be an Aladdin's castle term. The Cade Master. The Cade Master.

You know who loved that term? Whatever 16 year old with a mustache that was in charge of the arcade. They called me the cave master. I'm a cave master, dad! I have a wallet now. I don't need to go to college. I'm on the ground floor! That's not real.

The cave master is the worst name ever. The Cade Master, yeah, like, you know. And you guys thought he was cool. I don't know about that. You couldn't have. We thought they were in the power position, but I don't know that we thought they were cool for real. I think we always kind of thought they weren't,

but they had the quarters. But you gotta stay in cool with them. Yeah. You don't wanna. Does this shirt say Cade Master? No, I bet Joey made it up. Joey or Adam probably made that up. That doesn't even go with the Aladdin theme necessarily,

does it? It just sounds funny. I mean, you know, we always thought it was funny. No, it sounds bad. But you know they're... And the people versus the Cade Master. Yeah, but that came up a lot. And the people versus the cave master Finally I have a fallback career idea You could smoke in there I

Got my card with that zip that that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To the break room. Yeah. I could unlock any game in here, but I won't. Quit throwing those key balls.

It was always nuts when they'd take your quarter and they'd come give you they're like, oh, they just open it and hit the button a few times and you're like, why don't you just give me like a thousand then? Because they just had to tap the little button a few times, and you're like, why don't you just give me like a thousand then, because they just had to tap the little button and it would just give you games, you remember that? Because they have to run a business, Sean. Yeah. They don't.

Noah does. You don't think the cave master has a cave master who's looking over those reports every day? Like a pit boss? King Cade? The eye in the sky? Boy, I'm looking at King Cade Josh the fourth. Trent, I'm looking at... JK Josh the fourth. Trent, I'm looking at the daily returns

from Street Fighter II, and it looks like Wednesday was soft. You know, we cleared 800 on Monday, 800 on Tuesday, $35 on Wednesday. They got a bunch of dudes holding his hand down. Which hand do you count your change with, Brent? Give me the change, about Trent. You're doing this long form from here on out until you show me you can count your change with Brent? Give me the change belt Trent You're doing this long form from here on out until you show me you can be trusted. I

Want to meet the adult version of the cave master of soup? Well, he invested heavily on sharper image so he's Bitcoin early. So he's actually fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. About 60 grand a year. Yeah, he's doing all right.

You're a salt in those two quads. Reach Equilibrium. Excellent, the arcade. The Lloyd Center had an arcade, but Washington Square, I don't remember having an arcade. Lloyd Center had two, and they still, that's what sucks about arcades now is they're so sad, because the Lloyd Center still has one.

It's just- Is it up by the movies, up by the movie theater? No, it's down, it's all messed up in there, because they're so desolate, but it's just the arcade, there's nothing in it, there's like seven games, and they're huge, but there's not, you know, there's not like the row of all of the fun games. Any place. Prime era Lloyd Center,

it was right next to the movie theater there. Yeah, way up top of the food court. It was great, one, two, punch. Yeah. Amy, time for your first pick. Okay, I want you all to know that I am only picking stores that are in my childhood mall, Hilltop Mall in Richmond, California. Where I fell in love with malls, also known as Kill Top.

A lot of people died there. No, I got it. Is it follow? But beautiful, beautiful mall, by the way. Gorgeous. Great play area. Oh, my God. They're those sunken in like circular couch areas for the adults that I'm pretty sure you could smoke in.

That's top tier. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. But then children would also just like dive bomb over into the couch. Lot of broken collar bones. Do you see kids dive bomb anymore? Nah. Who's gonna send you a kid dive bomb something?

They're soft. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha swing him around like a lasso and just toss him wherever I want him to be. That's important. You gotta get him comfortable in the air, that's smart. Absolutely, oh, early. Do you know how easy, like if you're an elite male gymnast, that's not a crowded field. Come on. So if he's a high flyer early. I got one in the family.

With my body type? Take him to a mall playground. That's a new athlete. That's a new thing. That's a new thing entirely. They haven't made that sport yet. They're gonna be chubby gymnasts now. Dana said no football, I was like They haven't made that sport yet. They have a chubby, chicken snap. Dana said no football.

I was like, all right, that's fine. Can I say the arrogance of a chubby male gymnast would be pretty nuts? Oh, that'd be palpable. You have the world by the balls. It's like, he's not chubby, but you know what I mean. Like, Chappelle Lacey is kind of very much that. Right, and he's so strong. He's a thick boy. He's so strong. Yeah but you know what I mean. Like Chappelle Lacey is kind of very much that. Right, and he's so strong.

He's a big boy. He's so strong. Yeah, yeah, cheerleader. And he's like a spring. You see, he's still got it. Yeah, he backflips on stage. Yeah, he's still got it. You know how hard that shit is to follow at the comedy store?

Yeah. This thick man's flipping backwards on a small stage. And I'm like, my mom, the bitch. You just walk out and take your name off the side of it and just paint it on. I can't. Apparently I didn't earn it. No.

Okay, so first pick is still in existence, but that's where I fell in love with it. At Hilltop, you all know I'm a diehard Macy's gal. Love a Macy's. You got something for everyone. In a pinch, that's where you go. From funeral to wedding. From big interview to Christmas pajamas.

I fucking love a Macy's. They do have it all. They really do. And they got, yeah, they, for your home, wow. Everything's always on sale. Feels like you're tapping into New York City. I find out things are on sale when I'm buying them. It's the best.

I'll go get some jeans and they're like, these are 20 bucks cheaper than it said they were. It's like, okay. The, yeah, New York City, the Macy's, Harold Square, you know, the classic, 34th Street. If you go, there's like 14 levels. If you keep going, there's just nobody up there. That's hilarious.

I love that. They're just selling like vacations at the top. You could buy a hyena. They got everything up there. And the like floor 11, like plus size ladies section, like there's like one woman working that whole floor, which, you know, I mean, it makes it easy to steal, but they're giving everything away anyway.

So it's, I just love, it's the only retail credit card I still have. Oh, I love that you have a Macy's card. Low bar for entry. So I appreciate that. Yeah, Macy's card. Low bar for entry, so I appreciate that. Yeah, they'll give it to anybody. In a pinch, it's just, I love it. I live by the Beverly Center one, I still go.

The Eagle Rock one, crazy. I mean, it's usually just like old Armenian women and me. And we have very different style choices. So we're not competing for anything. Different prints. The Armenian influence on the malls of Glendale and Eagle Rock is profound. You will walk through, I don't wanna say that,

there's other big department stores and you'll find yourself in a section where you're like, that's not what they're selling in Beaverton. No, they don't have a white leather jeans section. No, there is an amount of leopard print at this store. That's not sustainable. A lot of sparkles. But that's interesting though,

cause like the, you know, Sioux Falls don't got a Macy's, but the other department stores they have, it is different stuff. It's flowier, garmenty, blousier stuff than it would be like on the coast in the Midwest, you know? When did Macy's become what it is now? Because it felt like it was a...

I think it's old, I think, right? It was a prestige. Didn't it feel prestigious? You mean when did it turn into... Well, I think it was, like if you read old New York books, they talk about it like it's like... It might be like one of the first apartment stores.

Yeah, it was Macy's and Gimbals were like the two big New York ones and it's become a little bit like down market, you know what I mean? I think it's second. I think it's the second nicest still. Like there's the one that's above it, but I feel like Macy's is the second nicest out of all of them. I think it's tied with the other one.

It does depend which one you go to though, because there are certain Macy's in fancier places where they have a lot more designer shit, and I don't go to that floor, but you know. That's true. You can also get to a nice down market Macy's where, I've gone to the counter and then the lady's just like, I'm gonna give you 25% more off.

And I'm like, I was gonna pay full price, but let's do it. She's just like, I'm gonna give you 25% more off. And I'm like, I was going to pay full price, but let's do it. She's just, they're not going to last much longer. Especially with all the money they spend on that parade. No, no boy. I love it. It makes me so happy. The red star. It's like, I know there's like Target gals my age that are like, Ooh, a Target.

I'm a fucking love a Macy's star, I get so happy. We were in the hospital, because Dana gave birth on Thanksgiving, and it was like, it was real touch and go. It was an emergency C-section, it was like rough seas. And we were like in her hospital room, and we remembered it was Thanksgiving.

We turned on the Thanksgiving Day Parade. And it was like, it turned into four hours of not having to worry about anything because it was the parade and then the dog show afterwards and it was just like, oh, all right. This is exactly what I'm gonna be watching right now. Oh, it was perfect. It was like a warm hug.

Shout out to Macy's. They took over Myer and Frank. Oh. Used to be Myer and Frank. A lot of people don't know actually William H. Macy is involved in that family. That's right. It's the scion of the Macy's fortune.

Macy Gray. Macy Gray. First name. It's right next to Jared's. Mace, the rapper, he's involved. He's a little less involved. He's a distant cousin. He's a distant...

Mace, he's an excellent pick. Time for my first pick. I gotta take, I gotta be true to myself, true to the store at the mall I have spent the most time in over my life, and especially in my late teens, early 20s. I'm taking Champs Sports. Ooh, Champs even. Champs.

Jersey City, baby. Champs specifically. There are 20. Dude, those when, when like when the big T-shirt phase was happening, like in hip hop and everything, like the giant, that was so clutch for me. Champs held us down for sure. Champs. Because it was like, oh, I can get like three, three x tall, four X tall, four X tall t-shirts that are gonna like fit me

like a normal, like pretty regular. Still baggy, but baggy like the style was. But like for $20. And I can think about buying like a throwback Drozden Petrovic jersey while I'm in here. That's what always got me. You go to the jerseys, they're thick. You're like, damn, wouldn't it be nice?

Wouldn't it be nice? And then you get your shirts. They had the shoes too. You could look like they had some shoes. Two for 89. That was always the back to school sale. Great deals on stuff. There were other stores that are in the same lane.

Some of them more popular, some of them with a costume. For me, Champ Sports was like a number one. I still have stuff I bought at Champs Sports. I got some basketball shorts, I got some throwback jerseys. I got my Jerome Kersey jersey at Champs Sports at Lloyd Center, may it rest in peace. I love it. They're clutch for like PE sweats too,

like if you had to get a certain color for your school. They had both pieces in a lot of sizes. Yeah. Yeah, chips was great. Basic solids too. Yeah, you could get like t-shirts in any color. Yeah, if you like hypothetically need to buy your like junior high boyfriend or Raiders hat or something like that, like, it's a more affordable option. If you had to get like a Sacramento Kings throwback with the crown. Or a Mike Bibby. Is that meeps?

Oh, what's up girl? She's awake now, that sucks. Hey. She looks so mad at you. Check this out, wait, she's wearing a Christmas bow tie. Oh, I love it. Oh yeah. Let's have a wait, she's wearing a Christmas bow tie. Oh, I love it. Oh, yeah. Let's have a look, get in the front.

Oh, yeah. Doesn't that look smart? Oh, yeah, that's really. That's my girl. That's a touch of class right there. That's my girl. It's your uncles. Hi!

Remember when you watched me eat that pizza? Yeah! I should have had kids just so I'm not weird like this. I'm still weird like that with my cat and I got a kid. It doesn't go away. There was an executed mouse. I was house sitting for you one time and I came and take a shower

and there was a splayed out mouse on the mat with its head separated like, you know, a planned out amount from its body. That's for you, Doug. She presented it. It was nuts. And I took a shower. I was like, I know, a planned out amount from its body. That's for you, Doug. She presented it. It was nuts. And I took a shower. I was like, I'm proud of you. And I took a shower. She doesn't think you could feed yourself.

She ain't wrong. Some of those nights I couldn't. It's one of those casts that's a little bit like its owner there. Yeah. I'm a little worried about you. You ate a lot of chicken patties today. Seriously. Meeps oversaw several bad relationships of mine in person. It's gross. It's such a...

Meeps watching. Quietly judging. I brought home a whole pizza from 7-Eleven to that place. I'd never done that ever in my life. Meeps saw me eat it. It was still five bucks at that time. Mm-hmm. And it sucked. But I ate it. God ever in my life. You saw me eat it. It was still five bucks at that time. Mm-hmm, and it sucked, but I ate it.

God, with my next pick, I have so many good late round picks, but those gotta go in the late round. So I gotta go, number one, again, something that is dearly departed, but it ruled at the time. Whatever you wanna call it, I'm gonna pick Sam Goody. Yeah. Oh yeah. Tower Records. That could be a Tower Records.

Disjockey. Media Purge. Whatever, like there's individuals that aren't chains, all those, may they rest in peace. God. Listening station. Oh man. That was the only way you knew what was the dog, like what was the other Dog Pound songs? That was the only way you knew what they were gonna sound like otherwise

You just had to roll the dice, and you always lost. I'm sorry dog pound. Yeah They never did it. They never did it right. I ended up buying a lot of those CDs anyway I bought a man. I had them all just so I could say I had them there was something just I mean listen I know it's I don't want to sound like an old guy, but I'm an old guy There's no other way about it. There was something really beautiful about the limited selection, where you would have to go in and be really thoughtful

about what you were gonna get. And it was just really fun going to those records. I also loved the poster. You could get t-shirts. Oh yeah, and all the posters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get like a 36 chamber shirt. Scarface.

Scarface, Scarface, Scarface, sublime, sublime, Scarface, Scarface. Like one Vistav Klimt. The Kiss or a Monet, you know. There was always, always, yeah. And then the Pink Floyd, the Naked Ladies with the albums painted on their backs. That like, there'd be a Vista with Ferraris in a nice house, you know, like that, where you're like goal-setting. Frank Sinatra playing pool with Scarface.

Yeah, with Scarface. Yeah. It was just a scene, man. It was like a fun place to hang out. It was a fun place to find out about other kinds of music from like cooler kids. And- I was gonna say it always felt

like there was cool people in there it was the coolest people at the mall usually what's the section inside you know yeah DVDs you can get the big Lebowski yeah or Scarface someone told me those alarms were fake a lot of the time. So you could just walk out with stuff. That was an undercover cop, dude. Yeah. We stole shit all the time from there, and it didn't go off. All the time.

Really? All the time. For a while, we'd walk around the edge of it, because we thought it was like they connected and made this laser beam of an alarm, so we'd skirt the edge. I was under that impression. They thought that, yeah, I thought laser technology was way more readily available in the 90s than it was.

Yeah, they're like a struggling Sam Goody that was 70% off everything in the store. And was like, yeah, but we can't get rid of the laser. What if we got rid of the laser system? We can't. They're gonna steal all the shit we're trying to get rid of. You're trying to duck it like you're in Mission Impossible. Yeah.

Slide under the lasers. What are you doing? Catherine Zeta-Jones thing? I'm acting like we're in a rice paddy. Let me do my thing. I'm not stealing anything. No, that's a great pig. Yeah. Clutch. Those are the two places I spent the most time. Amy, time for your second pick. Oh shit, okay. Oh shit.

I'm gonna go with The Nature Company. Oh damn. Whoa. I don't know how far the reach was because I looked up last night, I didn't know it started in Berkeley. So, which makes a lot of sense. What is The Nature Company?

It made its way to Portland, Oregon, I'll tell you that for sure. I think it was a West Coast thing. We headed to the Sea-Tac Mall too. Yeah. Before you go to like play with a rain stick or go in a Zen garden, move some sand around with a rake. Oh, they had those at the Mall of America.

I brought probably 15 poisoned art frogs from that store. Ha ha ha! The outside, it was like that kind of tile that looks like you're like in a hot tub or spa of some kind. Like they put a lot of work into the facade of the store. Tranquil music playing. Oh yeah, Enya on repeat. Like it smelled so good in there. Oh yeah.

I don't even know where to get a rain stick anymore. They outlawed him. That's where you're blowing it. You call yourself a father. The only thing I'm blowing is a didgeridoo, my friend, and I got one of those, all right? I call yourself a father. That's how we wake the baby up.

My ex was here. Time for breakfast. The baby doesn't need any help waking up. The Nature Company is a great pick. Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... but like really good, specific. Like you get an ant farm or some shit like that. For sure you get an ant farm. Yeah. You get a book with stickers of like the animals of the Pacific Northwest and you put them in their habitats. Also that weird book with like the bit, you remember the big bubble maker,

like the sticks and string? Yeah. And then they would have the book attached for some reason because you need your whole book to learn how to use it. The Clutz Corporation, really. Those sticks and strings, the big bubbles, those are at all of these little kids' pumpkin patches and stuff,

almost exclusively adults operating those. The kids, they'll try once, and then they'll just hand them to the adult and let the adult put on a show. It's so fun. Well, they got a bubble app on their phone, you know, these kids. No, Max doesn't get a phone until she's... Six.

28. God, I don't know if ever. I don't know if I feel like doing that. She might not know what it is. Sean, it's time for your second pick. Well, I'm gonna go big toy section. I'm gonna go KB Toys. That's the one.

That's the one. God, thank you for not taking fucking Toys R Us. We didn't have one and when we got one. To me that's not a mall store. To me that's not a mall store too. Because it was outside of the mall. Yeah, because KB was, before the arcade, it was KB, like starting lineup.

G.I. Joe, P-Man, all of, yeah, the Keto, the K KB, like starting lineup. G.I. Joe, P-Man, all of, yeah, you know the K-Master used to go there. All of it. They had everything. They had like candy toys. You know where you're like, this is a toy, but it's candy.

It's candy. It's a candy. All the new remote controls. All of that. Look at the big remote control store. The tire storm was in there. You could try it all. And it was jam packed.

There was no room to move around. I loved it. Just fucking toys everywhere. It was chaos at all times. Everything was pretty much on the ground. KBS, yeah. Unwrap, they didn't give a shit. It was just fun. And falling out into the mall at all times.

Totally. Like there's toys just on the floor. Crowded. Control cars bringing you in. You're like, I gotta see what's in there. Yeah, there's like a Godzilla walking outside of the store. It's Toys R Us for the poor. floor, remote control cars bringing you in. You're like, I gotta see what's in there. Yeah, there's like a Godzilla walking outside of the store. It's Toys R Us for the poor.

It was a party. I don't know, man. Toys R Us, it was all this stuff in the Midwest. So people would be like Chuck E. Cheese, Toys R Us, all that stuff. It got to us so late that I'd be like, and I never really even cared. I never wanted to go to Toys R Us.

I'm like, KB's in the mall. So am I. I don't wanna walk across the parking lot. And that's why I was a Toys R Us fan over KB, but now it wasn't in the mall. Tongue in chicks in front of the cane master. He talks to you in a couple quarters, nice job. I just licked a 14 year old, time to go buy a green master. So am I. He pops in a couple quarters. Nice job. I just licked a 14 year old. Time to go buy a tech deck.

They would have the like Toys R Us-y like expensive toys, but then they always also had the cheap knockoff shit. You don't need a real Barbie. You can get Skipper or whatever. Stephanie. Her name was Skipper or whatever. Stephanie. They would have. Skipper's name was Skipper. Go-Bots. Skipper was Barbie's friend. That was still Matelva. Oh, okay, but she was always cheaper.

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, they can't charge Barbie prices for Skipper. Come on, they knew that at the game. KV Toys, excellent pick. David, time for your second and third. Okay, my second one is this was our department store that we went to. A couple clutch, got my first pair of Jordans here,

got an Orlando Magic sweatsuit that was, I mean, if you guys remember how big the Orlando Magic was. I gotta take JCPenney. Yeah, dude. Just come on. Silver tab city, baby. That's where we get our silver tabs. That's really good.

I'm serious. The people of Sioux Falls don't believe in heaven, but they do believe in a place called Silver Tab City, which is pretty close. It's near the Black Hills Gold area. Yeah. Where you think I got all those silk button-ups? JCPenney's, baby.

Y'all see the end of Cardi? JCPenney and Macy's, they're kind of on that same level. Am I wrong about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To me. To me too. JCPenney also will give anyone a credit card. Love that.

I feel like they have less stuff. Now for sure. They have layaway though. And it's brighter. It is brighter. That's fair. Some parts of Macy's can feel like you have less stuff. They have layaway though. And it's brighter. It is brighter. Some parts of Macy's can feel like you're at the club. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

There's warm lighting, it's exciting. The music's loud. JCPenney doesn't give a shit about ambiance, they're just there for the deals and the options. Yeah, we are pennies. Pennies, do you guys say pennies? My family says pennies. Yeah, pennies, yeah, yeah. We say pennies for sure. We say JCP. Pennies. Do you guys say pennies? My family says pennies.

We say JCPenney sometimes. Also, pronounced husky section. Oh yeah. And you can still... To this day. Do you want to get all your Oshkosh bagoshes? You go look at the suits? Your bugle boys? Bugle Boy Plus?

Hager or whatever? They got like 4XL maroon art... Bugle Boy plus. Hager or whatever they got like 4XL maroon. Bugle man. Bugle reserve. Do you know what the JC stands for in JC Penny? Jesus Christ. The big one upstairs. Shout out to the big guy.

No, James Cash. So he's Cash Penny. Whoa. Cash Penny? James Cash Penny. Man. Jimmy Cash Penny. Jimmy Cash Penny. Whoa. Cash Penny? James Cash Penny. Man. Jimmy Cash Penny. Jimmy Cash Penny.

Started in Wyoming. Jimmy Cash Penny, I don't care. What? Well that explains the lack of ambiance. It's probably like a dry goods store or something, wasn't it, if it started in Wyoming? Camera Wyoming. It had to be like a supply store then, right?

It's crazy, because all I bought in there was Arizona. That's where we got Zones and Jinkos too, was Pennies. That's right. No, not at all, man. It was great. And they have photo, you can still get photos at Pennies to this day, you can still get your hair done. You could get photos at Pennies, that's right.

My mom would get her, she'd get her perms at Pennies. Sean, it wasn't even a dry goods store. That makes sense. Yeah. My mom had a bunch of she'd get her perms at Penny's. Sean, it wasn't even a dry goods store. That makes sense. My mom and a bunch of her girlfriends got like a friends picture at Penny's one year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you went, yeah, that's where they did them.

They all wore black shirts and denim. Yeah. Classic. Yeah, real single mom group pic. Yeah. Where were the kids? We were at Aladdin's castle. Wait for moms to get these pigs. But yeah, Penny's was huge.

Still to this day, they serve the huskier man admirably. Love that. You can still go in there. Love that. And your third pick. My third pick, I don't know how to explain this because everywhere had one, but they were different origins in all places.

I'm taking the Knife Store. Oh, fuck. God damn it. God fucking damn it. Come on. Yeah. Oh. You almost felt like you weren't supposed to even be in there.

No, sometimes the dude would give you a look. Yeah. In a way that kind of felt like part of the show. Where he would look at you like you're not supposed to be there, but in a way where he knew he had you. Yeah. Because you weren't going to actually buy an extendable baton. No.

Or an elaborate beer stein that they also told you. Yeah, weirdly, beer steins next to police grade tasers. I bought nunchucks there. I have bought multiple pairs of nunchucks at these stores. I love you. You totally seem like a kid who would convert in the Knife store. Like we all went to look, you went and got outfitted.

I did, I would try stuff. I'd be like, can I see those nunchucks and just try them just to be like, can I see those nunchucks and just try them just to be like, look at what I can do. Every guy that worked there had snakes. Yeah. Oh yeah. Of course they did. All of them. Oh yeah.

They probably had snake food for sale somewhere. Some of them had lice too. A lot of bed bugs. The one in the town center is called Highlander. And they have in the window, it's got those knives with brass knuckles on them where you're like, who in the fuck would have that? In the Aurora Mall, it was a Chinese store,

so there would be a bunch of Buddhas, but then also, yeah, batons. Yeah, throwing stars probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full set of katanas with the display. Yeah, like the longer one and then the shorter one on top? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever got your hands on one of those batons

and extended it? It feels great. Yeah, my buddy bought one at the Aurora Mall. I got a back scratcher like that. Yeah. You can scratch someone's back with one of these. I feel like you could buy like a flakjack, which is not legal, but I think you could buy one in there. No. Yeah, the Knife Store was great.

The main dude working at the Knife Store is somebody who lost their foot to diabetes, but would have you believe they lost it in service of this country's armed forces. Yes, a vaguely military man. Yeah, like with a beard, you know, and like a hat. You know what's funny? I went to the SWATet like three, four months ago

and there's still a KnifeStore style booth over there. So they'll hold it down. Oh, always that guy's at the Swapmeet. Always. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And thank God. I mean, I bought a butterfly knife at one. They had throwing stars. I mean, they rule.

They have suits of armor in there. They do have a suit of armor. Yeah. They do. Chain mail. Maybe I have a suit of armor. Yeah. They do. Chain mail. Maybe I need some chain mail at high school, I don't know. It's gonna be dangerous. There's sort of a self-selecting demographic

where you assume a lot of people have knives because you're hanging out in a knife store and you're like, next logical thing is, I should probably get some chain mail. Also if you need like a dragon figurine. Yeah, he's got you. Some kind of Merlin. They're probably working their way into Kratom right now.

I'm sure that's gonna be a good Kratom game. Oh, they became vape shops for sure. Yeah. Unfortunately, we did not get to have the Knife Store at Kill Top Mall. Damn, yeah, I mean, I get that. Ormah had it. That was federal. Washington Square had it for sure. I forget if Lloyds entered it.

Beaverton Mall for sure had it. But yeah, the Knife store. Great fun for all little boys and girls. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick. Third pick, I'm gonna go, the store's still around. I guess I just get the store, but I'm picking the older version of the store. I'm going Spencer's. Oh yeah is still around. I guess I just get the store, but I'm picking the older version of the storm.

Going Spencer's. They kind of done a little heel turn as to as to what they no more. No more posters anymore. They don't really have any like joke over 40 gifts. That's just real. Now you also have giant condoms and tiny condoms. No, they have gifts in one section, but itoms? No, they have- They have gag gifs in one section, but it used to be like all that.

They have reasonable, I know this because I was looking for Ian's 40th in there, they have reasonable sexual things where it's like this isn't that much of a joke. What do you mean, just like water-based lube? Kinda. No, they have a real sex toy section. It'll be like, it'll be lube, it'll be like, you know,

funny juice or whatever, be like, no, it's lube. They don't have like. How come you didn't give me a pulley function? Cause they still was there. They didn't was there. Give them some funny juice. But they don't have like a condom the size of a tire like they used to.

Funny juice or funny juice. Some funny juice. I think the sex toys used to be behind a like a curtain or in a different little like room. Or maybe I didn't know how sex worked. When you had to be over 18. Yeah. Yeah.

They, but like the posters, all of the like smoking gargoyle, you know, like you'd have a gargoyle that lit up with smoke coming out of his eyes or something. Sandcastle stuff. 3D eye poster. All the dirty stuff that you could, you're like, oh my God, there's a joke up that says, like joke book that says shit on it.

Like 50 shit jokes. A making bacon t-shirt with a bunch of pigs doing it? With those pens where you click it and then the person's naked? Naked girl, yes. Oh yeah, shame wants. Naked girl. Naked.

Oh, you're talking about the naked girl pen, yeah. One was a click and one was like liquid where you had to like move it back and forth. When you were using it. Yeah, yeah, I was naked. Sign my mortgage with one of those pens. And one was like liquid where you had to like move it back and forth. When you were using it. Yeah. Yeah. Sign my mortgage with one of those pens. I have to wait for the titties to show, sir. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I was thinking about this day for 20 years, sir. Yeah, those dispensers, man, it just was so fun. You know, it's all right now. It felt as counterculture as the mall could. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't have the goofy spray painted garage logo

that they have now. I don't like that. It was the neon. Yeah. Yeah, it was like the neon Spencer sign in pink and it just was like, I don't know, it felt more cooler. Maybe I was younger. Perfect name too, Spencer.

You think it's that person's first or last name? Spencer Spencer. First. Both maybe. Both, yeah. Yeah. Get pogs there. Yes, Spencer Spencer.

Spencer Spencerwitz. I'm going to a Spencer's. I gotta see this in person myself. Yeah, get in there. It's still fun. It's still fun. Spencer's at Christmas time? Yeah.

They're all right, I got, you know, that's like a few of these live AFVs, I got Joker shirts there, so they're pretty clutch for that. Yeah, I was just gonna say, yeah, it seems like mostly like Batman related shirts. Yeah, like Invader Zim. Yeah, in like the discount section, you can get like a wrestler that's been canceled

or whatever, like, you know, you can get like an Enzo T-shirt. I know, because I have one. I don't want to say the name of the other store, but is it kind of like- There's a few of them, and they're all- Melding into that other store. They're all versions of each other.

There's the one you're thinking of, then there's like two more that are all just kinda, they're all doing the same thing with Funko Pops and white leather belts and shit. I gotta tell you something, cause I don't wanna, I'm sorry to say this on the air. I had to get rid of those Funko Pops you gave me. Oh no, I was wondering if they were gonna make it.

He's got a son now. I was wondering if they were gonna make it. I kept got a son now. I was wondering if they were gonna make it. I kept the t-shirt. I proudly wear the t-shirt. Cool. That's all I thought would make it. I'm a man of wife. And the amount of Funko Pops I can have displayed in my home.

I got him some good fil of Funko Pops right there. There's so many Funko Pops in the ocean. You didn't throw them away. Did you throw them away? No, no, no, no, no. I gave them away, I gave them away. They exist still in this world. I didn't throw them away, but I want you to know. I ate those gummies. Those were a birthday gag, good. Those gummies were good. Those sweet check heads. And the sublime shirt I've worn, I love it.

It's great. The Funko Pops were meant to be, oh look at how funny this is. I'm positive they will not make the shelf. Positive. Yeah, I just wanted you to know. I didn't want you to come to my house and looking around for good fellas Funko Pops.

I didn't want you to come to my house and look at my house and look at my house and look at my house and look at my house and look at my house and look at my house. I'm not gonna make the shelf. I'm not gonna make the shelf. I'm not not make the shelf. Positive. Yeah, I just wanted you to know. I didn't want you to come to my house and looking around for good fellow Funko Pops and not- Laura had to talk me out of a, I'm just stupid, what are you looking for? Where are they?

Nothing, nothing yet. Trying to find the last remnants of our friendship and I can't seem to see them. Yeah, we're still friends for one more room. So. I had to, I was, I found a TLC box set Funko Pop and Laura was like, no. Where were you going to put it? You know, you don't think that far ahead.

I just wanted it. I keep thinking in terms of an office whenever I get my own. I just want to decorate it. You mostly want an office to decorate it. It's not so you have a place to work. I don't need one, I can do this in the car. I want an office so I can have that shit on the walls. Yeah, I got a DMX action figure, I understand. I have one Funko Pop and it's specifically

Christmas Mariah Carey. So she only comes out once a year, yeah. I got Doc Holliday, we got one Funko pop, it's Doc Holliday. If I had to pick one, that'd be it, so. I liked that you told me that. Thanks, thanks for letting me know. I don't love all of you about it. Love everything else, love the Funkos,

they serve their purpose, it was fun. No, yeah, they sure did. I got a great biggie cutout you got me for my wedding, I love it That was why I'd be bummed if you threw that away that was a little pressier than the Funko Plus Maybe just start giving cash now that he has a child He's got cash. That's the thing When somebody has money when someone has money you're like what's gonna make him giggle

That's the whole point to give give him the short or cry That's the void we all have to fill now What's gonna make him cry or what's gonna make him giggle? You don't just want like here's a hundred bucks fuck You know that ain't it's gonna be a little bit Three grand a night Amy time for your third pick. Okay. Um, I multiple versions of this as well, but our Our version was called wicks and sticks. Oh, yeah

store Yeah, okay. Yeah not not like just like Yankee or like the, I can say other candle stores, right? Yeah, you got it. Yeah. Or the other place that sells good smelling candles. It was like those big crazy ones. Yeah, like a big dragon. Ribbons of color.

Yeah, dragons. Six wickers. Yeah, that was very aspirational for me as a little girl. You could light their arms and their nose. I could never light one. Oh no, no, no. No, no, no, no, this is a display camera. Who wants half of that?

That's a museum piece. It's art. Yeah, you light it once and then you're like, well now it looks insane that I have that. That stays in your house untouched until a hot day ruins everything. Oh yeah, and I dust it regularly. You gotta dust it. Or until I freestyle too close to it. You know what I'm talking about.

Wax will pick up cat hair like nothing else. It's like Velcro. You gotta clean them. It's another store that had a really good smell that lured you in, like so good. And they had less expensive little scented candles, but it was really about those big fucking dragons. I don't think they exist anymore. I don't think so either. Not a wicks and sticks. No, they got, I mean Yankee, I still,

I go in, Max, one of her favorite things is smelling candles when we go to the mall or any store. So I'm smelling candles for days. I still want to. That's that's something I can't have. Laura, she don't we don't get to do it. What? We don't like candles. Why is the cat? She's nervous the cats are going to get in there like we'll forget. And it does happen to cats a lot where they get into the hot wax,

not knowing it's hot wax. Probably happens to individual cats once. It happens a lot because they don't know if they don't see it. So like if they don't see the candle lit and know it's hot and then it goes out, it just looks it's wet, you know. So sometimes they'll go put their face in there like it's water and then they'll burn the shit out of their face. No.

So that you leave different cups of water all around your house. But they have to drink from your side. You water all around your house for the cat to drink from. You have to sign your house. For 18 years. What is that, a giant gargoyle or is that a candle or glass of water? It's my gargoyle cup. I might actually. Does Wixenstik still have an online presence? I have to see. I don't know. I think it's been gone for a long time, but I think also people are buying burnable candles You know, I don't think those big crazy ones still exist. Oh, yeah, I think you're right. It shouldn't candles. Yeah, I don't think so

There's like a 90 pound Buddha candle anymore. I Found a hundred dollar 24 inch dragon wax candle with glass eyes. It's listed as used. Go ahead and put that in the thread here. Yeah, I gotta see that. Yeah, put eyes on it. Used.

Someone lit it? So disrespectful. It doesn't look lit. Whoa, got a long hyperlink, I'll tell you that. There it is. There it is. Holy fuck your dad. You guys wanna know the name of the guy selling it?

79 Trans Am guy. Oh my God. Oh yeah. What else is he selling? He's got a great rating. Oh, the similar items will open a gate to a world of adventure that we thought was long dead. Where's the wax supposed to go?

It's a big ass frog. I know, look at that. Six inch frog candle, $90, wow. 79 Trans Am Guy is selling a lot of Christmas decorations but then also a full collection of vintage trucker hats. Yeah. $55 for 12. Dude, if you go down farther,

there's a 1980 Venetian glass signed art glass hand blown paperweight. Who is this man? For $95 as a steal. This might be Spencer himself. Anybody need a Chevelle steering wheel cap? Seven crystal glass penguins on a black base, 14 inch L, again signed.

He's got a Japanese nativity set. on a black base 14 inch L, again signed. $293. He's got a Japanese nativity set. You did everyone's Christmas shopping for me right here. I don't even need to go to the mall. No surprise, but also a lot of St. Patrick's Day stuff if you want to get a jump on that all of it with 79 Trans Amcats. The man has a 1977 Cadillac moon roof motor.

Just the motor. What are you looking for? I'm looking for a Celtic Cross car cover. Do you have any? I want to get a moon roof motor, a Celtic Cross car cover, and a Frosty the Snowman light up standee, but it needs to be from the same guy. And then just a good old fashioned hard copy King James, if you got it. He's selling just the answer box for Teddy Ruxpin,

but not the Teddy Ruxpin itself. Just the box. Here's Teddy Ruxpin's guts. Damn. He owed me money, so I took this. This guy's a gold mine. It's 79trans-am-guy, any of the listeners want to see this. Yeah, if you guys want to patronize on eBay.

If anybody wants to drop $27 American on the Xbox video game manuals, the manuals, not the games, for Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, Medal of Honor Rising Sun, Rainbow Six 3, Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer, Unreal Championship, 007, Agent Under Fire, Doom, Ninja Gaiden, and Halo 2. Again, these are just the manuals. Ninja Gaiden's, I wouldn't mind having the Ninja Gaiden manual around, honestly.

You are the Ninja Gaiden manual. Yeah, I'd be all right. I saw just shoe boxes for sale the other day, like dope shoe boxes. I was pretty bummed about that. They were going for hundreds of dollars. This man's such a mystery because he has 12 trucker hats, all vintage, all worn for 50 bucks,

but then just one trucker hat that says, wanna pet my worm, $25. That was special to him. Yeah, he got married in that hat. that says, wanna pet my worm, $25. That was special to him. Yeah. Yeah. He got married in that hat. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This guy rules. This is such a long tangent and it's worth every page of what he's selling. Yeah, get in there. I wonder if this guy ever used to work at an arcade, maybe be a cave master of some sort. Yes.

We should have him on the podcast, the drag thing on his eBay. He's definitely a night of some sort. Yes. We should get a hold of him. We should have him on the podcast to drag things on his eBay. He's definitely a nice store shopper. Yeah, this guy's worked in a lot of these stores. Ah, we'll be right back. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this podcast. Yes, thank you Aura Frames. Jake, you have one of these.

Of course I do. I have several actually. It's a digital picture frame that you give to loved ones like your parents and then you can upload photos as they come in and They get to see those photos wherever they are in the world. Mm-hmm. It's simple. It's easy and it brings joy. What's better? Nothing better than joy this holiday season It's easy to set up and it's the perfect gift for any occasion. And you can get free unlimited storage and the photos look like real prints. Yeah. It's fun.

It's interactive and there's nothing family likes more than new pictures of new family members. It's true. Sometimes my mom will text me and be like, we need more photos. Now. Um, so right now, Aura has a great deal and you can go to AuraFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping of their best selling frame if you use code HEADGUMB. HEADGUMB!

That's AuraFrames.com. Use code HEADGUMB at checkout to save. HEADGUMB! That's right. Terms and conditions apply. Of course. Thank you, AuraFrames. Welcome back to AllF Everything Already in Progress.

We're drafting stores at the mall, and Amy just took Wicks and Sticks, the popular candle store, often found in American shopping malls. It's time for Ian Carmel to make his third pick. We come back to the podcast now, Already in Progress. All right, great pick, Amy. Time for me to make my third pick we come back to the podcast now already in progress. All right, great pick Amy Time for me to make my third pick

Trying stuff NPR is going away so yeah, I know Turn this podcast into just a more soothing vibe. Yeah, we're gonna pick up the mantle and Starting with soothing is to me one of the most soothing sights my childhood eyes could behold. And that was to walk into a store full of magic, a magic kingdom, if you will, and see a gigantic pile of stuffed animals

all the way up to the ceiling. Taking the Disney Store. Oh yeah, that was a hit. I loved the Disney store. They had it all. It ruled, they still around? I don't think so. They should be, that's so stupid.

I loved it, it was magical. They had all the Disney stuff and they had, again, the thing that really tied the room together was this big mountain, my son is crying, I can hear it, of stuffed animals, thank God Dana's mom is also here otherwise I would feel very negligent, of stuffed animals like going all the way, so you would have like Winnie the Poohs, Mickey Mouse's,

you know, Goofies, all the, just a big mountain of them in the middle of the room and then just all around it, you know, movies, there was always movies playing in there so you could go in and like see a little bit of the Lion King. Yeah, there's like a Fantasia section if you wanna get trippy. And a listening station there for the soundtracks. That's right. Huge.

I don't know what. Don't you dare close your eyes. That's me at the back of the Disney station. We're closing. Fuck you, dude. Also, the stuffed animals have always been, I feel like, so fucking soft. Yeah.

You know? And it's like, if you love Bambi and then you feel like the softest, like, thumper stuffed animal, it feels like you are touching the real thumper. You're actually touching Bambi. There was like, It was soft.

It was a pretty magical story sometimes. There was like, it was a pretty magical story sometimes. It was really, it was really fun. Well, the gangsters started to wear Disney clothing for a hot second there. So I even got to enjoy it when I was, you know, 12, 13, 14. Got myself like, barely, just barely. They had the striped shirts that would have like,

Tigger stitched in right here. And those, yeah, they were like, they would, yeah, they crept in. They never dry well, you can't. No, they wrinkle up, they look like a puck. No, those shirts are tough. It's like a puckered butthole after you do it. Yeah, that like, that Disney rugby shirt phase,

I didn't know it was a gang thing too, but it was definitely a Beaverton thing. Yeah, that stuff did not dry. Yeah. Also just a lot of teenagers doing Disney projects but it was definitely a Beaverton thing. Yeah, that stuff did not dry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Also just a lot of teenagers doing Disney pajamas,

but like during the day. And I loved that. Yeah. And I was like, I do want to wear pajamas out of the house. I feel like Disney was really pushing Fantasia on us. Just being like, you guys like Fantasia, right?

Like your favorite Disney movie, Fantasia. And everyone was like, I have no your favorite Disney movie, Fantasia. And everyone was like, no, I have no interest in watching this weird musical thing. Never will like it. I don't want to question reality when I want to watch Bambi or Ladin or something.

That aside, it's just kind of- Which are all so sad. It's just boring. They were trying to get people to stay for the fireworks show at the parks. Yeah. Oh. But they could have just changed the theme the whole time.

If you get to the park and don't stay for the fireworks show, you're a lunatic. I don't know what would have to happen for me to not stay. Oh, you haven't been with your children yet, have you? And I won't for a long time. We've gotten there at like 8 a.m., dude. What are you doing? I have gotten there at 8 a.m. and I watched.

And stayed for the fireworks? Me too. Two days in a row, yeah. What were you doing at four? What were you doing? I have gotten there at 8 a.m. and I watched. And stayed for the fireworks? Me too. Two days in a row. What were you doing at four? What were you doing at six? All right, dinner, food is reasonable at Disneyland. That's a weird thing. You can get reasonable food.

So we just had a couple meals and went on rides all day long until the fireworks and left when it closed. Two days in a row. You go out into downtown Disney, get a drink. Oh true. Recharge, smoke a cigarette. How old were you? You were there, it was when Laura

picked me up from the house. We went to Anaheim for a couple, so it was like six years ago or something. Oh, okay. Man, I can't put in a shift at Disney like that anymore. I wouldn't go with a kid. I don't want Max to go for, till she's eight or nine or so.

I don't wanna, I have no desire of taking a kid in a stroller. Really? I feel like she's like two years away from having a good time. I'll take her, I have no desire of taking a kid in a stroller. Really, I feel like she's like two years away from having a good time. I'll take her, but if she goes when we go, she can be there for a while. That's very reasonable. You gotta get your money's worth.

I feel like that pain in your feet after that kind of run at Disney is like, not like you might as well have been in the Olympics. Like it doesn't matter what kind of shoes you wear I'm like I'm like this is what my ancestors felt Disney store is my third pick and with my fourth pick as I am on the hot corner Wait Yeah, yeah And with my fourth pick, as I am on the hot corner, De'Ara. Wait. Yeah, right?

Oh yeah, you're the other. Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and take, I think one of the only food options available. And I think you'll agree. I had a feeling. I had a feeling he was gonna go. Taking C's candy.

Yeah. Oh, sure. Oh. That's not what I thought you were gonna say. Different candy store, but yeah. I wonder what you got. Oh, I wonder if it'll get taken, whatever you guys were thinking.

I'm taking C's, give me a free piece of candy, please, candy store. Yep. Still so good. Still so good. They still honor that code, by the way. They honor that code. Oh yeah.

They'll give it to you. It's delicious. They're tasty little truffles. They're still good. Haven't changed a thing. It used to be more little old ladies working there. Now it's more like teenagers. But they're nice. They're still good, haven't changed a thing. It used to be more little old ladies working there, now it's more like teenagers. Whatever.

But they're nice. They're nice. Service is always great. You said that so loud. Yeah, but they're nice. I was just thinking of the candy masters at the Grove. The candy masters. Because there's these at the Grove

and it's always like the nicest kids in the world working. It is. And you're like, such manners on this young man. That's me eating free candy. I mean, I never thought that master, it kind of worked like you could have the toy master, the sword master, you could have the Jersey master. The key master.

The key master. All kinds of good and bad masters, Sean, yes. The Seize Master. Seize Candy, that's my pick. Amy, time for your fourth pick. Okay, I think I can still do this. It's a competition with something that's been mentioned. But for me, in the early 90s, Hilltop Mall,

I'm going to the Warner Brothers store. Oh yeah, that's a different... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get a Marvin the Martian jersey. Of course. Which also cannot be washed and dried. I'm getting Bugs Bunny shit, you know, like it's just a different world. It's kind of grimier. It's kind of grime-ier. It's like dangerous. Wanda Brothers leaned into like-

Children's stores for children. A lot of Bugs Bunny's had guns. Yeah. Kaz. Kaz is huge. Kaz pajamas. Wearing, dressed like Criss Cross on a T-shirt. Yeah.

Yeah. It was just, it was more exciting, you know? It felt more adult for some reason. Did they have other Warner Brothers property stuff as well? Was it like also they had backdraft or whatever? What are you talking like? Oh yes! Like heat or something?

I don't know, whatever other stuff Warner Brothers made. I never thought about that. Did you? Yeah, because they had movie posters and shit. Oh. They got like Serpico or something. Yeah, Lost Boys. Like a Lost Boys.

That's a staffed vampire from Lost Boys. That's so pathetic. Uh-huh. Yo, Sam and he's Sam. What a good idea. Yo, Sam and he's Sam in full metal jacket. They should do a crossover, like real Warner Brothers crossovers.

Because there's so many characters in Warner Brothers that are like, sassy, defiant, rebellious, you know? It's like, you get... Yeah, asshole. You can get more like, fun sayings on your t-shirt, you know? That's true. Like, come and take my guns. I'm gonna send them to Sam or whatever. My cold dead hands. And they have those kiosks that just make

those ridiculous shirts. It would really be like Yosemite Sam be like come and take them, Obama or something and just have his guns and you're like, but then right next to it they'll have Bernie Sanders shirts or something. It's an odd mall kiosk t-shirt thing. You guys have any of those?

There's one at the town center. It's got to have, Spencer's does a lot of that shit too. They have Trump shirts and everything. Yeah, they got him playing cards with the dogs and stuff. They don't have one in Glendale, but I call one in Washington Square. Yeah. You were in Washington Square without me, huh?

Recently? I was there with my mother and wife. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't like your mom and wife all of a sudden. We were buying a present for you. I'll make the trip next time, okay? Go ahead and let me know. I'll make the trip.

I'll make the trip. Sean, it's time for your fourth pick. Now as Amy went toe to toe with the Disney store, I'd like to know if I can go toe to toe with C's candy. Tell me if I can't. But this is a different type of candy, but I'm picking, we had Mr. Bulky's. So I don't know what you guys had,

but it was like, it was all the gummies and the warheads. That's what I call my son when he shit in the diaper. Oh, Mr. Bulky's. Oh, Mr. Bulky's. It was all the gummies and all that stuff with like the bins of gummy bears. The loose candy. Yeah.

Yeah, all the sours. I mean, even at the Galleria, we'd go, we would go get all those gummy bears. Remember we'd be like, we're gonna want gummy bears when we go watch Goodfellas after Red Robin, so, you know, they're the best. That's where we'd get, that's when I was introduced to Warheads and what are the other, not Sour Patch, what are the sour ones?

They're Warheads and what? Like Sour Straws? Tear Jerkers, they were called, Tear Jerkers. Just the crazy sour shit. Mr. Bulkeys. Mr. Bulkeys sour shit. Mr. Bulky's. Mr. Bulky's. Oh, Mr. Bulky's. I thought it was national, but it was great.

We didn't get it till, you know, I was probably 10. It was brand new, it was the first candy store I ever saw. Whoa, I'm looking at a picture of the outside of it, and it is very exciting for a child. It's amazing. It was amazing. Gumball machine outside, obviously. I remember.

But the colors, the polka dots, yeah, that looks fun. I remember where it was and everything. Mr. Bulky's. No, they still exist, I guess. I think we have one at Clackamas. I know there's a- No. No way. Not a Mr. Bulky's.

We might. It's right next to the, I don't wanna say the other story. It's not called that. I think it's in the Pacific Northwest, the sweets factory. Okay, okay. Yeah, you're popular. I think every Mr. Bulky's is east of the Mississippi,

for sure. Oh, get it, Stella. Don't argue with me. Um. Oh, get it Stella. Don't argue with me. David, time for your fourth and then your final picks. OK, fourth pick I'm going to take.

Do you guys have underground station? No. What? I know what you're talking about. Urban street wear store. Cool clothing store, we had Metro. I was gonna pick it next. Yeah, yeah, where you could get your Fubus, your Rockawares, your Heccos. Cross-colors, Jabos, Zeke Eborrichi.

Guess. They always were playing cool music. The teens who were up there were the coolest teens. Mm-hmm. What was yours called? Mine was called Underground Station. Underground Station. Man, yeah, Bugs and Taz shirts, all that fun stuff. Just like a street wear store.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not like the rest of the mall. We're the cool mall. Yeah, it was. We just happened to be here, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easy real estate to get. We mostly exist in the hearts of minds

of kids wearing backpacks. Easy real estate to get we mostly exist in the hearts of minds And they'd have like a sideways TV on the wall or like an angled TV, you know They'd have Jodeci playing, like, all right, okay. Yeah. And then my last pick was one, you always pretended you didn't wanna go in there, but you loved going in there. I gotta take Victoria's Secret. Oh, you dirty dog.

Come on, come on. The ambiance. Just looking around like, oh, so that's what they got going on. You just go in like, excuse me, where are the men's jeans? I'm just looking around in here for a reason. Well, I would go to the store with my mom and her friends a lot and they'd be like, OK, now we're going to Victoria's City.

And you'd be like, oh, come on. But she'd really be like, let's go, baby. Now they have thick mannequins. It's a whole new world, for real. And honestly, I wasn't ready for that in 97. No. No. It's just a lot of big bins of loose panties.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That everyone's had their hands in. Yeah, people digging through them. I thought that's what adulthood was gonna be, big bins of loose panties. Big bins. So far so good. Yeah, yeah.

Well, the lotions, because, you know, we all had like, the ladies had, you know, a different scent phase in our lives. And I distinctly remember my pear lotion from Victoria's Secret phase. And it must've smelled horrendous. Like, they're so strong. And we were covering our bodies.

They were incredibly strong. You could always smell it. And it was often like a middle school thing to do, too. Because they weren't stopping you from going to do it. Like, those lotions and the sprays. And it's like your worst fear is like smelling weird. Like in junior high, you know? It's like, yeah, you just cover yourself

with whatever you can. Yeah. So then it smells like both of those things. They don't, yeah. In the 90s, not surprisingly, they didn't have a lot of big titty sizes, as Victoria's Secret. I had no idea they were all,

it was all relative to the size of my head at the time. We were getting pajamas and lotion, you know what I mean? And that was rude, but now I think they have more sizes. Yeah, big titties were out in the 90s. I know, people are saying they're back. That makes me laugh. Heroin chic, right?

That was the 90s. Some houses they never left. Sean, time for your final pick. I've spent quite a bit of money at Lids. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever get a Lids with your face on it? Or with like, get the embroidery with your name on it? No, we would, I think I got, maybe I'm crazy,

but I'm pretty sure I got my nickname or tough customers stitched into a couple hats. But I would get TC hats for a while, like every week or every other week, whenever I got paid, I'd be like, well, I gotta go get a hat. And then it was always like, buy one, get one. So I'd end up with two. So I had, I probably had 30 TC hats for a while.

Every color I could get, red, green, white, camo, the two tones, I had all of them. I loved it. Lids rules. Excellent. I love the smell of the lids too. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that it's little but packed. And there's no pressure. They know you're not gonna buy anything. They don't even think you're gonna buy anything. So if you do, they're like, whoa. I was buying stuff. Yeah, I mean, I did do it for a long time. I rarely do anymore, but I go in a lot.

I go in almost every time I'm at the mall, which is a lot. I've had so many goddamn hats. I mean, I'm looking at four hats right now. I had too many goddamn hats. It's like- Well, I feel like pre-internet, it must've been so exciting just to be a sports fan,

and then you're like, any lids I go to will have my team. All of them. Even if it's, you know, it's the Ducks, it's whatever. It's just like, they had every fucking thing. Dude, you get a big enough lids. They got like the minor teams from close around. They were just cycling through hats. That's just at my fingertips right now.

Within our reach. Amy, time for your final pick. Okay, for the girls. I'm going we called it the Hello Kitty store, but it is Sanrio surprise Oh, yeah. Oh, it wasn't called the Hello Kitty store. Oh never I thought so, too That's so funny I had no idea and I'm getting pencil cases, and I'm getting that pen that has like 14 different colors, and you push it down, like a rainbow pen. Yeah. Getting a lot of stuff there.

Those are fun. Crayons, marker, big, nice marker kits. Yeah, they were all there. I still have one. Stuff that like clicked. A lot of clicking cases. Yes. Click, click, click.

Satisfying clicks. They are kinda coming back. There's one on La Brea where sometimes they'll release like a very rare Hello Kitty thing and then there's like a line of kids around the corner. Wow. That is awesome. I'm like, I love it.

Yeah, just get little pouches for shit. I don't know what I'm putting in there. You don't have to come up with it when you buy it. Erasers. Yeah. Yes you buy it. Erasers. Yes. Yeah, novelty erasers. They never work well. That you got from the book fair.

Yeah. Yeah, they would just like take off the color. So it would just be a green smear. Yeah, they're bad. Hell yeah. Time for my final pick. Tell me if I can get away with this, because if not, I have a backup.

Do you guys consider Barnes & Noble a mall store? Yeah. They're always in the mall. They're always in the mall. They're also sometimes not in the mall, though, and that's why I'm sort of torn here. I feel like it started out as a mall store that branched out.

I feel mostly in. Yeah. I was thinking about it. Town Center has two in it. If I said the words B. Dalton, would that read more mall? That would, right? Oh, hell yeah.

I'm going B. Dalton. There's also one, okay, yeah. I wanna be spirit of the mall, yeah. B. Dalton's is very, very mall. Now, pardon my ignorance. Go on. Is that a mall bookstore? That's right.

Okay. I did not know bookstore? That's right. Okay. I did not know. Do you have books there? I did not know. Contest clues I feel like would have led you to that conclusion. They did. That was trying to be funny.

But nobody listening crashed their car. Everybody knew I didn't know what that was. I don't know what that was. I don't think we had one. It was great. You had a bookstore in your mall. Or I just blacked out every time I went in. You didn't have borders?

You didn't have borders? Walden? Walden. Walden just blacked out every time I went in. You didn't have Borders? You didn't have Borders? Walden? You probably have Walden. Walden Books was the other one, yeah, yeah. We did have a Walden. Okay, there we go. There we go. Oh, Barnes & Noble bought B. Dalton in 1987. Wow. Interesting.

Okay, it's cool. Yeah, B. Dalton, just a bookstore at the mall. I loved it. I loved walking around and hanging out at bookstores. Love the smell, love the vibe, love feeling like an intellectual without actually having to read the books just by being in there through proxy.

It's great. When they added coffee, it was just a game changer. Get out of town. Now I have something I can buy. I can't read. I went to the book That's the final pick Isaac do you have a pick Can I take the AMC the movie theater at the line? What are you buying a movie?

You're buying an experience you're tracking an experience. You know you can't you know you can't You can't like it though Isaac. I if I did all right never mind footlocker They got rid of lady right they combine them again right because we wanted our shoes to be a surprise when you saw it You know Amy I'm such a feminist that when I say footlocker you can automatically assume that I'm talking about lady footlocker allies That's nice obviously allies ugly Humiliating place if you can take movie theater I'm gonna take Gold's gym if we can do it like that

The middle of the Grove. The DMV. Then I'm taking the dojo. Why did you all stop? Nobody picked the shitter. They got them at the mall, right? Honorable mention to the jewelry store kiosk. Yeah.

All the kiosks for sure. All the kiosks in general. The drones, the little things you ride. Sunglass kiosks. Is Rayleigh skincare products? I do little things you ride, a bounce around. Sunglass kiosks. Israeli skincare products. I do need a new bathroom, you're right. Cologne with pheromones. Yeah.

Here's what we did take. David, you went first, you took the Sharper Image, JCPenney's, the Knife Store, Underground Station, and Victoria's Secret. Sean, you went second, you took Aladdin's Castle, AKA the Arcade, KB Toys, Spencer's Gifts, the Sweets Factory, AKA Mr. Bulky's, Candy Stores. And then you went Lids with your last pick.

Amy, you went third, you took Macy's, The Nature Company, Wicks and Sticks, the Warner Brothers store in Sanrio. I went last, I took Champs Sports, Sam Goody, Disney Store, C's Candy sees candy and B Dalton We left Wilson's leather on the board. I'll say that Claire's William Sonoma Yeah, I bet the body works. I'm a fan. I love it there. We had bedazzled not Claire's Dazzled is where I got my ears pierced

Fossil store? Oh yeah, I know man. The fossil store was cool. Pacific Sunware. Yeah, zoomies. I was gonna say zoomies, but that's all out shit. Pacific Sunware, wow. Are you meeting it at the Kennedy Center?

Apple would have been, I wasn't too sure if Apple was ridiculous to pick. I hear the kids hang out there. I have a buddy who works at the one in the gallery who says kids just hang out in there. Interesting, that place stresses me out. Me too, I don't know what I'm doing, I feel stupid. You feel like you're gonna drop five bills

and just walk in. Like a store rules. Yeah. Well listen, we wanna hear your picks. Send us up at AllFancyPod on Twitter, AllFancyPodcast.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon where we have auction drafts, bonus episodes, mailbag episodes, all sorts of different stuff.

And of course, Isaac's holiday-themed tasteful nudes. That's right. Mistletoe. Hanging from where? Who knows? Yeah, you're trying to find out. And what is that, a ninth candle on this menorah? Wicks and sticks, baby.

Shout out to everyone on the AFV subreddit, the AFV Shaslackity. Shout out to everyone, that's it, I guess. Shout out to super producer Isaac, mega producer, ultra producer, the best producer in the game on the ones and twos, Isaac Lee, shout out to Saint's Duke Carmel, shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Hodgie Beats, and more important than all of that,

tuning in next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity! Hey, hey, I'm Lamorne Morris. And I'm Kyle Shevrin. And we're here interrupting your workout to tell you about the Lamorning After podcast, now on HeadGum. That's right. Every Wednesday a new episode drops and we...

Wait, Lamorne, what are you doing over there? It's nothing, just polishing my Emmy. Why? Because we're now the only official HeadGum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner. Is that true? Probably not. But Jake Johnson's on HeadGum. Does he have an Emmy?

No, but he has been a guest on The Little Morning After. Which might be an even bigger honor. I mean, and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more. Plus, we play games, we tell stories, we poll the fans for questions. We poll them for questions, nasty.

Polling them constantly. Up and down, sideways, backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds. You'll see. Subscribe to The Morning After on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.