All Fantasy Everything - Movies That Make You Cry (w/ Shane Torres, Zak Toscani and Amy Miller)

Episode Date: August 3, 2017

Love means never having to say it's a serpentine draft. On today's episode, we let it get a little dusty in the HeadGum Studio, as host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Shane Torres, Zak Toscani and Amy Miller. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that asks, is it worth it? Let me search it. Put my thang down, flip it, and reverse it. It's nearer to the serpentine draft. It's nearer to the serpentine draft. I thought about that on the way over here.

I finally thought of one. And I feel like it was as good as when I just come up with it If not worse I love it It's not worse Shout out to Missy Elliot You thought of it and you said it I'm terrified of singing out loud So that is always impressive to me

That was more of like rapping Which we all know I'm really really good at I'm one of the better rappers Oh I good at. I'm one of the better rappers. Oh, I've seen it. Yeah. I'm one of the best. In comedy or? No.

Just one of the better rappers. You're not limiting it. Good. Yeah. I appreciate that. It's like me and Ryan Lewis from Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. And then the third person as well, to complete the joke. Today, we are drafting movies that make you cry.

But more importantly, today, we welcome, I'm going to say friend of the pod. Oh, really? You think so? If you're a regular listener, you may think of him as enemy of the pod. I didn't even do anything. I know, but you're an enemy of the pod. This is David Borey. This is David Borey. This is David Borey.

No, David Borey's still on the road going, yo, in different cities in America. You know it's not David because I don't sound like a trash can fire. Oh, no. Oh, the clapbacks already happened. I don't think David even goes in on you. Yes, he does. I got an extensive.

You know what it is. You know what it is. That is Sugar Shane Torres. Thanks for having me. The Big Cranberry himself. Yes. The Palo Copter The Big Cranberry himself. Yes. The Palo Copter. Borachito Benito.

The Master of Disaster. The Master of Disaster. Syrup Mountain himself. Wyatt Burp. Wyatt Burp. Yeah, absolutely. Is that everyone? The King of Last Call.

I don't know. The King of Sting. The King of Sting. Whitney, a.k.a. Whitney Houston. A.k.a. Whitney Dallas Fort Worth. Oh, yeah. That's what we'll call you. Good friend, talented comedian.

Good friend. Thank you. Talented comedian. A.k.a. 30 Strikes. A.k.a. 30. Oh, a.k.a. 30 Cuffs No Hits. No. I fouled one off.

It was 49 of 50. I don't know if you did but i did shane this is shane torres shane torres finally with us here on the podcast thank you for having me the 30 cuts no hits refers to uh you would after two days after a breakup it was pretty bad it was really pretty bad i like how this is already one of those early introducing anybody else we're just getting right into my personal history? I like this. We'll get to Amy Miller and Zach Toscani in a second.

We're involved here. We'll definitely get to them. We went to a batting cage. But don't forget that we went to that all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet before. Oh, we went first? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We went to an all-you-can-eat, what I like to call a China bucket.

One of those Chinese food restaurants where there's also like pizza and French fries and like white fish chicken nuggets. Yeah. It's like, it's like, and we, uh, we ate the, we ate like conquering Kings and then went to the batting cages and

sugar Shane went for 50. Oh, for over 30. Although there are some claims one for 30. And I feel like it was 50 pitch. I feel like you're getting the number wrong which i know it's not in my debate so i'm like oh for 50 yeah i feel like my memory is better because you're not because it's 25 they're not gonna i do smoke a lot of weed yeah yeah yeah

i'm just and i'm saying i'm saying i found one off the whole purpose of that trip was to like get you re-inspired like let you know let's can do. We went to Beaverton from Southeast Portland. Is that true? We went to my homeland. Yeah. At Syrup Mountain on Twitter. At Syrup Mountain. Are you on Instagram?

Yeah. That's Syrup Mountain on Instagram. Syrup Mountain there too. Syrup Mountain across platform. It is so nice to have you. It's good to be here. Baseball, not your skill. Comedy.

It's going okay. Going okay these days. Going okay. Going pretty dang good. Yeah. Comedy Central half hour. Yeah. In September. Creeping It's going okay. It's going pretty dang good. Yeah. Comedy Central, half hour. Yeah, in September. Creeping up on us in September.

On a Friday at midnight or whatever it is. Classic at home watching TV hours. Yeah, yeah. And then the album coming out. What did you decide on name? I remember the artwork, but what was the name? The Stand-Up Comedy Bible by Judy Carter by Shane Torres. That's amazing.

Are you serious? No, they said we'd get sued. I know. I went with Established 1981. That's also great. I love it. I love a comedy album that looks like it's on an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt. Or Code Red Mountain Dew.

It's amazing how quick you are. Thank you. The Gremlins classes. What do you have to promote? What's going on? The special and the album. And then I'll be at ACME. Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Yeah. August 30th to September 2nd. Check out Shane Torres. It'll be at High Plains. Oh, and then High Plains. Wait, are you going to go there? I'm just doing the first night. Okay, then you're going to the wedding.

Yeah, and I'll also be at the DeWig Lopez wedding. DeWig Lopez. I'll be there. Star-studded. I think we'll all be there. Yeah. It is going to be. And Shane.

And Shane. And Shane. And Shane. It's like I'm not here still when you're saying things like that. Sean's ducking you. Do you want 30 seconds to just go off on Sean? No, I'm going to do it in person. All right.

Fantastic. I'll record it on my phone. I don't need this to go out on the internet. Amy Miller joining us as well. Hello. Returning champion, Amy Miller. Hello, friends. At Amy Miller on Twitter.

Yeah. At Amy Miller on Instagram. Amy Miller Comedy on Instagram. Amy Miller Comedy on Instagram. Yep. How are you doing? I'm good. Good.

I'm okay. You've been on the road a bunch, too. Yeah, too much. Yeah. Well, it's good. It's fun. It is fun to do. But it's nice to come back to LA, where it is so humid right now.

I bask in the sunlight. We're all kind of golden in here right now. Yeah, we do look sun-kissed. It's a sun-kissed podcast. We have a nice little browse. Pod-kissed. Where can people see you soon? Oh, I'm going to be

at Outside Lands with Shane next weekend. In the yay area. You can also see the who there. if you don't want to see comedy. It's going to be you, me, Henry Rollins. And a tribe called Quest. I saw Ty Siegel at FYF, and Henry Rollins was just offstage enjoying it. It was amazing.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's the best. So if you're going to be there, come say hi to us. I'm also going to be at the Royal Comedy Theater in Minneapolis August 17th and 19th. And August 25th Laughs in Seattle. Fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. That's the old Denison. Dave Denison. I don't know

who that is. He's the owner of the club. Oh, well, thank you so much for having me. Yeah. And for headlining me. Yeah. A woman. Be sure they put your... Well, they left the previous headliner's name on the marquee all weekend while I was there. Oh, no. Yeah. A woman. Be sure they put your a woman. Well, they left the previous headliner's name on the marquee all weekend

while I was there. Oh, no. Yeah. So maybe, you know, get on that ahead of time. Yeah, I'll get on that. Come out. Yeah, and Amy Miller

Comedy is my website if you want to see all my dates coming up. Zach Toscani rounding out the foursome here. Yes, sir. At Zach Toscani on Twitter. Instagram, Facebook.

The whole thing. It's all there. Yeah. And then, uh, Portland tonight. Cause it is Thursday. Come see me and Jay Larson at helium.

Oh, nice. That's a good show. Thursday through, through Saturday. Jay Lawson. He's from Boston. Yeah.

It's going to be, that's a fantastic show. Yeah. I'm very excited. And even if you blow it, you know, which I'm planning to do, you know what I mean? You know, leave them wanting more yeah i always think yeah yeah more of another comedian yeah zach is so funny jay larson's one of my favorite comedians jay larson is the yeah one of the best

conan sets i think everybody likes to watch like i think comics go watch jay larson so fun yeah comics boat shoe enthusiasts, everyone. Golf fans. Doctors. Does he golf? I think he's a golfer. Oh, we got to hit him up. Do you like lobster rolls?

Lobster. I love him. Yeah. He's settling really into the dad stuff. I like that. God, I hope I get to do that. I know. Somebody let me get him pregnant.

If you're an All Fantasy Everything fan and you want to have a kid. Oh, my God. You could do an episode where you pick baby names i'm just i just feel like i'm ready to be a dad you know i'm in bed around 10 i'm getting there too i get like hiccups yeah of like i want to be married do you think you get to stay in bed i've been listening to steely dan and going to bed i'm ready to be a dad you're just gonna get a chair yeah like you'll make more noise laying down than standing up. You just start soaking your feet in salt water.

Absolutely. I'm going to do weird shit like that. Yeah. I'm going to watch war movies. Just divorced from whether they're good or not. Yeah. You'll get to say, talk to your mother. Talk to your mother.

Ivan Carmel, my father, who sits upon a throne of bones in Portland, Oregon. The man will just watch any war movie. He doesn't care. Oh, yeah. He's like, he'll come home and one day it would be Saving Private Ryan

and the next thing it would be like this thing Tom Sizemore made that was funded by the Argentinian government or some weird shit. So he just, like it's like,

not just like once a week or like it's not like, it's not like, oh, it's TNT and it's Sunday. During the blockbuster slash Hollywood video era, that man would come home with trash. You know when it's like in cartoons when someone would go fishing and they'd pull up a boot?

Like the movie equivalent of that. Yeah, it's like he gets the Pacific instead of Band of Brothers. Right, exactly. What is Atlantic Rim, Dad? Just because they're not here, make sure you... Sean Jordan, I think, will be back by the time this is air dropping yeah it's back on thursday but david bory will still be out on the road so check out david boy's website i ran into bory in chicago did you at the north bar show we hung out

uh i did a little guest set uh a few few all fantasy everything? I think I was supposed to do seven. Probably wrapped it up around 35. Out of bed. But to a few All Fantasy Everything fans delight, I was a nice little cameo for them. Oh, they really were. They came out to my North Bar show, too. Yeah, they're great. So sweet. Shout out to the All Fantasy Everything fans.

They were really great. One of them was like, Dave and I were having a cigarette, and one of them was like, oh, shit, Shane. Like, it was really exciting. Thank you for listening. Thank you for coming to shows. We always love when you interact with us on Twitter. I fucking love that. Shout out to the All Fantasy Everything subreddit,

which has popped up. I haven't checked it out yet because I am bad at the internet, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna go home tonight. I'm gonna get really stoned and then I'm gonna make a Reddit name. It's pretty easy to find. Is it? Yeah. Just text your mom before you go into Reddit. Hey mom, I'm going into Reddit. Mom, I'm going in. If Ioned and then I'm going to make a Reddit name. It's pretty easy to find. Is it? Yeah. Just text your mom before you go into Reddit. Hey, mom, I'm going into Reddit. Mom, I'm going in.

If I don't come back in 35 minutes. You should get on there and do an AMA. I will. A-F-E-A-M-A. I'll go on there and do an MMA. Or I'll fight any of you motherfuckers. I'm going to go on there and do an MDMA where we can just touch each other. You will want to fight after a few minutes on Reddit.

I hope the AFE subreddit's nice. I was just like, fuck Ian. Everything else is cool. They're probably all nice. I know every once in a while there'll be a package at the door and I'll pick it up and then for half a second I'll go, wait, I remember Ian tweeting about if any Nazis wanted to come lay hands on a real Jew and I'm like, what if this is a bomb?

I also got into it with the Infowars crowd. Oh, yeah. Braveheart. What a way to die. The Infowars? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't want to rehash it. They always finish up in like eight to ten days. You just have to wait it out. They do. It's like a bad flu.

You had an experience with that. They don't get really angry and they tire themselves out. They move on to someone else. They fall asleep in a doggy bed. Every once in a while someone trickles back like eight months later and you're like, buddy, this is over now. Come on. It's like, yeah, stop coming up to me like a terrible

ex-boyfriend. Go spend time with your kids. Yeah, steampunk of online harassment. I'm living in the past. They do have kids too. They do. Today we are drafting movies that make you cry. Oh, gosh. I'm excited for it. I feel like this one was tailor-made for old me.

Well, you were put- This whole group of sad saps. What? This is a bunch of criers in this room. Oh, yeah, that's true. I'm a big crier. I've watched three movies this week that made me cry. Did you really?

Well, I have a day job that allows me to watch movies at work, so I watch like four movies a day. And I'm usually there. Zach is a prison guard. And yeah, and I'm there way earlier than everyone else. So I'll just watch like real serious movies that I would know otherwise spend the time watching. That's what you start your day with? Yeah. Like I watched that Churchill movie this morning with Brian Cox.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really good. Anyway, yes. The way we determined the draft order, it was a rollicking game. Gangnam style. A rollicking Gangnam style. A rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played by the three of you. I believe you know the rules.

All right. We throw and shoot. Everybody ready? One, two, throw and shoot everybody ready one two three shoot one two three shoot okay rock paper scissors shoot oh shane wins shane torres you win you get to determine the draft order i will remind you it is a serpentine draft what does that mean oh it's like when axel rose goes up there and he does does that thing where he just kind of like yes back and forth right up into a wall and then backwards. Yeah. Which means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second.

Oh, I see. Shane, what will be the order? Ladies first. Amy Miller going first. Zach. Oh, me. Okay, good. Whoa, Amy.

Trying to control the thing. And then I'm going to Zach, Ian Zach and me alright so we'll just we'll loop it around Shane going for that double that double pick

yeah I just also really feel the need to defend myself alright so that means Amy Miller is going first with the first pick

of the movies that make you cry all fantasy everything Amy Miller you're on the clock Homeward Bound. Oh, that's so good. I want you guys to know I did a really fucked up thing today, too, and I watched Just the Sad.

I mean, I am fearing that. It's the irony of the thing. I'm in the car right now, and I'm having a small panic attack that I didn't push the button to lock the windows, and she can roll it down and just jump out. When Shane's picking, you can run out there and just jump out. You didn't pull up the e-brake and... When Shane's picking, you can run out there and check.

Oh, okay, that'd be great. But I watched all the sad clips from all the movies I picked today, like back to back at my kitchen table. I did that too. And it felt really good. Like a sad junkie? Did you get a good cry out?

I was just like drinking coffee and sobbing. Were you in a locked bathroom? No, I was in the kitchen. Adam locked himself in the bedroom and was like, tell me when you're done. Homeward bound. The ending scene when Shadow comes home to Peter

and he's the last one to come and like sassy and chants already. Yeah. Peter, you're okay. and chance already. Yeah. Peter. Peter. Peter, you're okay. Yeah, Don Amici. Oh, Peter. And the most heartbreaking thing is they've all been worried about these pets, but Shadow

comes home and he's like, I've been so worried about you, Peter. And you're like, no, you're the dog. You were in danger. Yeah, I'm worried about you. The kid was fine. And he's limping and there's like an oboe playing all of a sudden. And he's like wet and muddy, isn't he?

He fell into that hole. Worst for wear. Michael J. Fox and Don Amos? Don Amici. You've never seen Homeward Bound? No. Christ. I'll just send you this clip. Yeah, that's fine.

If you need to get it out one day. And Sally. Rub one out. Don't say it. Yeah, rub one out. That's what you say for crying, right? Yeah. I rubbed a lot out today.

Homeward Bound. That's my pick. I started with animals. Sally Field is the cat's voice? Sally Field, yeah. Oh my God. And Michael J. Fox. She's perfect.

I love Sally Field. Michael J. Fox's chance. Yep. And Sally Field might be in a few of my picks. Because she's kind of the master of drama. She's great at crying in drama. She's amazing. Yeah.

In this one, she's kind of sassy. As the name of the cat would lead you to believe. And it's not just the ending, but earlier in the movie when they're still together, at one point, Peter's just holding Shadow. And Shadow goes, you're my favorite boy in the world. Oh, I love you, Peter. He does. And I just cry and cry.

Now, can I point out that both Shadow and Peter are both redheads? That's true. Yeah, they look alike. Is there a little bit of you putting your, when you were a kid and you watched this, did you put yourself in that family? No, I just, we had a lot of dogs. I liked Goldens. I only spoke to the dogs, really, because I hated my siblings and I had no friends. Is that what you're getting at?

It might be the dog thing more than the redhead thing. Oh, okay. They understand me. Exactly right. I never even had dogs. I was like, yeah, Shadow's dead. I didn't have any dead maybe they'll put allergic oh yeah i'm allergic but as a kid they didn't get they wouldn't have cared

ivan's like you're getting a dog he had a dog for like the first four years of my life and then he lost him in a litigation no ivan doesn't lose litigation that's true uh no we had a german shepherd for the first four years of my life, which I always thought was ironic. Right. A little ominous. Yeah.

The only German around. You know all the videos we watch, these dogs aren't good guys. He's like, now we own one of them. And now I'm so freaked out that I am going to check on this dog while Shane's going. Yeah, you absolutely should. Sorry to be so unprofessional. You might even do it while Zach's going, which is next. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Save from criticism. Homeward Bound, the first pick. First pick. Shane will probably be criticizing you pretty heavy no matter what it is you pick. That's true. Zach Toscani with his first pick. On a very similar route, I also went Animal. Oh. I'm going... The Animal starring Rob Schneider. Yeah.

God, he is such a great actor I can't believe she picked Homeward Path She is out of the room And our producer is out of the room too So I can just eat trail mix now I'll have a drink of LaCroix None of this is getting edited out

Like how you did 9-11 We know We all know Shane Look a lot of people call me the star of it but it really was a team effort it was sort of a big chill-esque ensemble cast yeah it was like scrubs okay okay uh so i went similar route with the animal movie i went marley and me that was that was one of the ones i was thinking about now marley and me for sure is like a hallmark type movie like it's you know what it's gonna do it's tugging at your heartstrings everyone knows pretty much what the story you know you know that what's gonna happen is gonna happen but you still watch it and it gets you and but this one

isn't like it's it doesn't mean an untimely thing. It's just like if you've ever had a dog in your life, you understand that life cycle of seeing it mature. And then you kind of change your lifestyle. Anyway, I had a similar dog growing up. It was the family dog. But it basically was mine. When you say similar, it looked like? Yeah, like a golden lab.

And then was basically my dog and then uh zach picked marley and me just yeah marley never forget your first dog uh i didn't pick my dog skip oh yeah oh geez um i can't do it but uh but so this so this dog growing up uh i went to college graduated college and then one of my best friends was getting married and the night of his rehearsal dinner was when we had to put the dog down what was the dog's name lucky and what did lucky mean to you oh yeah don't get me i'm sorry i love that yeah we would like he would just say I would sleep in my bed

like every night throughout like middle school and high school he was like the best friend when I had like yeah it was like when you had no friends so we had this in common

yeah I would watch Quantum Leap with him he loved it me too yeah dogs love Quantum Leap who knew me and Zach

were the same all along you guys yeah you have so much in common but yeah that Marley and Me Man it I don't think

if anyone watched that movie even if you knew what was happening you would still break down and cry yeah like that thing could be that thing could have

like just have been in Spanish yeah yeah it's a movie that I think purely made money because people were like I know what I'm getting yeah

and I'm gonna leave very sad but it's like yeah exactly it is sad there's another one out right now right The Dog's Purpose Like, I know what I'm getting. Yeah. And I'm going to leave very sad, but it's like. Yeah, exactly. It is sad porn. There's another one out right now, right? The Dog's Purpose. Are you going to see that?

Oh, I don't know. It's just a setup. It's same. Yeah. Well, there's this crazy true story of this dog, Hajiko. It was this Akita that this businessman had trained. I think lived in Tokyo and like train this dog that he would walk to the subway. The dog would like he the businessman would get on the subway and then the dog would walk back home.

And then at the end of the day, the dog would come to the subway and meet him. But and then like this happened for like decades and everyone got to know this dog and it was like a whole thing. And then the businessman had a heart attack at work and died but the dog kept showing up to the subway every day until and like people would try to take it in but then he would like run away and go back to the subway so now there's like this monument to him at the subway station and that businessman was adolf hitler station and that businessman was Adolf Hitler. Let that be a lesson to you. This is the first time I haven't done food on this show

and I already hate it. It feels weird. You know what I like to do is watch all of Marley and me and then I'll be quiet for a second and be like Marley and I. Marley and me and then like I'll be quiet for a second and be like Marley and I

um actually I think you mean Marley and I I wait till everyone leaves I thought it would be such a funny thing if you filmed like yeah if you went to like Marley and me in theaters and then at the end of the movie you're like no guys Marley's fine and then you just bring a dog through no Marley and me in theaters. And then at the end of the movie, you're like, no guys, Marley's fine.

And then you just bring a dog through. No, Marley's fine. It's just a cat on a leash. The paper mache dog made on a roller blade. Belt on top of a roller blade. It's one of those robotic ones that like people have. Remember that trend?

That was around for a few seconds. Where it's like Pet Sematary. It's just a rabbit dog. Marley and me. Marlon, excellent pick. Thank you. Yeah. God. Anything with animals is kind of on the table.

I know. Absolutely. Are you already crying? Or are you just wiping away tears? Oh, just a little mascara. Okay. Not yet. Yeah, okay.

You guys will know. She left the studio. A nuke just got dropped on LA, which is why she's crying. I checked on the dog. The guys will know. She left the studio. A nuke just got dropped on LA, which is why she's crying. I checked on the dog. The dog's fine. She's alive. Okay, so Zach, Marlon, and me, excellent pick. It's now my turn to make a pick.

And I am going to diverge from the dogs that we're doing, although there still are some on the table. Where do you care about people? I care about one particular kind of people, and particular kind of people. And that kind of people is Tom Hanks with AIDS. I'm taking Philadelphia. That's on the list.

Philadelphia. Nice. That movie fucking guts me every single time. Tom Hanks at his best. I mean, among his best. Denzel. In a very subtle, he's not very Denzel-y. No, he's not very Denzel-y. He's a little nerdier than he's kind of he's more a

little nerdier than he also a little like unaccepting of the gay that's another part of it that's kind of like his arc makes you cry it's not sad but like he that he changes as a person yeah and then see some value you see some value in that yes like as he's like he's just like he is a person yeah it's it's got four i, it's got like four gut punches, you know, like Tom Hanks's story. Denzel Washington's coming around. Antonio Banderas. Just him. Oh, yeah.

A loving partner in it. Yeah. Just like understanding and good. Yeah. Just such a good guy. Look at these goosebumps. He's got goosebumps on his arms. If I had, if my heart wasn't ripped out by my last ex-girlfriend and just thrown.

Is this a Squarespace? Into a meat grinder. Offer code COMEBACKAMANDA. All caps. Mack Weldon. Mack Weldon, underwear that she'll never see me in again. And then the

Philadelphia song by Bruce Springsteen. Or was it Bruce Springsteen or Neil Young? Yeah. Oh, okay. Streets of Philadelphia. Neil Young does the last,

the end song though, right? At the end of the movie. No, that's Bruce Springsteen. You can put those two together. I think Springsteen does the whole soundtrack, I think. Streets of Philadelphia.

Because I think he won an Oscar for it also. He does a lot of songs about Philadelphia. At the very end of the movie, I feel like ends on a Neil Young streets of Philadelphia. Because I think he won an Oscar for it also. He did. He did. He did a lot of songs about Philadelphia. Yeah. But the very end of the movie, I feel like, ends on a Neil Young song called Philadelphia. I think that's... And I'll stake my life on it.

Okay. Well... Put this knife to my throat, Amy. Well, if you're wrong, you're going to get AIDS. There's no knife in here. And we're going to see... And that's how you're going to die. I think also the sick...

Nobody's selling my fucking AIDS joke. Fine. I get it. I get it. get it the slow decline in that movie because sometimes sick movies it'll be like too fast like you're like oh this person's fine and then oh now he's on his deathbed and it's like this painful slow decline that's just so heartbreaking and it's tom hanks and you love tom hanks you've never seen i think maybe that was the first movie you saw Tom Hanks die in.

He gets so gaunt. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. And the lesions and everything. Skinnier than Castaway. You can go to him for everything. If you want to, like, you could make a list of just Tom Hanks movies.

Tom Hanks is amazing. For this. That's true. Yeah. He can do it. Yeah. Tom Hanks can do anything. Who's the next Tom Hanks?

Did you know he played guard at Villanova? Yeah. He can do anything. He was shooting guard on the 1978 National Championship. Who is the next Tom Hanks? Did you know he played guard at Villanova? Yeah, he can do anything. He was shooting guard on the 1978 National Championship. I don't know who is the next Tom Hanks. I don't think there is one. I don't think there is another Tom Hanks. And I'll tell you this, although it's kind of a divergent,

who's the next big comedic leading man or even woman? Like Chris Pratt, if he did some dramatic roles and he really sold them, he could be a Tom Hanks because he's so beloved that's a good point but you do have to be like perfectly beloved but yeah fall into that like that robin williams class so like yeah like you have you can't just be funny you have to have like a because now chris pratt is pulled into like he's in two franchises yeah he's in guardians yeah he's turned into a superhero and he's in jurassic world so it's in Guardians. Yeah, he's turned into a superhero. And he's in Jurassic World.

So it's going to be hard for him to go in there and make those early Tom Hanks movies. Yeah, Money Pit or Big. Oh, what a pity. There's no... I don't know who the next comedic... I think Gosling's got range and he's beloved. Yeah. And he can be funny.

He's really funny, yeah. He was great in The Nice Guys. But Tom Hanks... He was great. He was my nice pick. No, no, no. two hands. But Tom Hanks was great. He was my next pick. Tom Hanks could play like kind of like the idiot

and the smart guy. Yeah. Like he could really kind of do everything for you. Shout out to Taj Mowry. I don't know who that would be.

I don't know. I mean, if you have any if any listeners have any suggestions, send them in. It's also maybe just like a different

industry now where it's like the movies that Tom Hanks was making necessarily probably wouldn't get. Who's even the next Will Ferrell? There's not like a comedic leading man out there who can like carry a movie right now. Maybe it's one of you. Oh, and that's what we'll be determining right now. Ladies, leave the room. We're going to throw a knife on the floor and see who walks out of here. And see who can sort of endow it with the funniest character traits.

Yeah, so I took Philadelphia. Extraordinarily sad movie. Beautiful movie. I think I've told the story on the podcast before, so I'll make it quick. I put that on with a girl when it was like pre-Netflix and chill, Netflix and chilling

and put Philadelphia on. What do when it was like pre-Netflix and chill, Netflix and chilling, and put Philadelphia on. What do you mean? You know when you watch a movie and then you engage in sexual relations? With the movie? With the girl. Shane, have you never heard of Netflix and chill? I didn't know what it meant until like a year ago. Watch a movie and boom.

For you, that's the Hulu two-week free trial. On my laptop. You want to come over and watch a movie on my phone? And I hope my roommates go home. I have my roommate's HBO Go passport. But we made out to it a little bit, and then I got really engrossed in the storyline. And when it was over, I was just wept in front of her

for like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. That happened to me during the perfect test really yeah that made you cry well like i made out with a girl yeah yeah and then like i just got kind of too and then he's fucking these fucking cape cod motherfuckers trying to drown his body yeah that's right uh all right you need malloy he's not here to fucking mike malloy if mike malloy would have come he would have gone home 15 minutes ago. Shout out to enemy of the program, Mike Malloy. Shane Torres, it is time for your first pick.

Your first pick of the first round. Your first pick in all Fantasy Everything history. No. You've never done this before. I have. Yeah, he has. Wait, when were you on it? I had a couple of infamous pics wait you mean at the

live show no you've been on one here what episode were you on i know what you're doing and i don't like it what episode was it was it wait what was one of your picks um i picked green bean casserole oh no no that's not what i'm thinking of what was the big thing oh sampler platter oh that's what it was zach thank you that's right sampler platter sampler platter that one food we all love the sampler platter i'm gonna zach what's your favorite sport um the olympics yeah i love the olympics yeah my favorite band is now that's what i call music 36 i'm glad you uh you is this what you do all day at work you single waste a bag on me just roast people yeah oh no yeah yeah specifically you my favorite i'm sorry it's your first pick yeah of the movies that make you cry i am actually going to do something I don't think any of you guys think I would do,

and I'm going with Rudy because it's not depressing. Oh, Rudy. I would have thought you'd taken Rudy. Yeah, but I think you all would have thought I would go sad. Oh, I see what you mean. Yes. Rather than inspirational tears. I was trying to think of Victorious Cry, and it was hard.

That's a great one. This list is full of them. Rudy Rudiger. Yeah. Yeah. Grew up a Notre Dame fan. Good slow clap movie. Yeah. Shane of them. Rudy Rudiger. Yeah. Yeah. Grew up a Notre Dame fan. Good slow clap movie. Yeah.

Shane Torres, an Irish Catholic band. Yeah. Yeah. Vince Vaughn's first appearance in film. That's right. And- Rock's in it. Who?

Rock. Rock. From the TV show Rock. Oh, yeah. Charles S. Dutton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not The Rock.

Sir Charles S. Dutton. Original Rock. Yeah. That's true. When you said Rock, I wentutton. Original Rock. Yeah, that's true. When you said Rock, I went The Rock, Chris Rock. Yeah. And then I was like, Nicholas Cage? She just likes that movie, I guess.

Yeah, just every, like, the whole movie is him trying despite a lack of effort. Yeah. Or despite a lack of talent. Yeah. Which is something I completely identify with he's never quitting and the moment where he kind of does quit

everybody shows up for him I bet in real life he was persistent to the point of annoyance there's no way he wasn't like well there were a couple people wasn't like whether a couple people were like fucking rudy give me your number give me your number give me your number yeah like

more eager to please like he's like yeah i'll help you move yeah like he's just yeah we all know comics who are rudy yeah there's so many rudy comics it's not gonna end well for none of us are throwing our jerseys on the table and nobody's getting carried out of the improv because of a great five minute set. Didn't he not really get a sack in the game he played in? Was that Hollywood magic? I'm sure it was. But he did play and he was the only player to ever be carried off the field. You used to have a joke

about Rudy, right? Yeah, because he got... Man, you love Rudy. Yeah, I know. And he got charged with securities fraud. Rudy Ruediger. In a way with securities fraud. That's right. Rudy Ruediger. So in a way, it's still Rudy. You know what? The SEC carried him out of the building.

Taking him back as a dog? Which SEC? The Security and Exchange Commission. I named my high school dog after him. Not the Southeastern Conference? Rudy. Rudy? Did you?

What kind of dog? Lab mix. A tiny, tiny little one. You shoulder shrug. I don't give a shit. Just a mutt. I don't know. She's just a mutt.

Yeah. Would you guys just adopt most of your dogs? We were white trash. They just sort of happened to us. Yeah, you don't like it. We got her out of the back of a truck. You get one that shows up in your garbage. Yes.

That's a Christmas present. Or an older dog has a litter and you keep two. Yep. Yeah. We'll be right back with more dog talk after this. Just, it's so good. And even like,

he wears an old Notre Dame jacket. Yeah. Like everybody else has new ones so they like, they make him so drab and then he just knows everything about, it's so great.

And I always wanted to play football at Notre Dame so I can, oh, Jesus. So it's a little bit of a, it's a little bit bit of fantasy there's really just that one crying moment in it right i mean the end well there's just the end there's when they put the jerseys on the table yeah that's a good one too yeah and then there's a the one where the scene where his friend dies in the beginning like he's working at like a boiler plant or something like that and that's why he goes to like holy cross oh that's right yeah you call it like college football is a huge time commitment it really is he really should have quit

like i mean i get i mean i get the story that's inspiring and all that stuff right like i mean look at his post life but that is like now he's just a guy who shows up and speaks yes and makes tons of money like he does i mean yeah it worked out he definitely goes to like the ibm conference every year and just you know i'll tell you where he came was to westview high school westview fighting westview wildcats and he inspired me to keep trying with girls that i had no shot with just over and over and over again until I reached a point of depression yeah Rudy came to the high school wow spoke to all 2,500 of us so all he has to do really is just play the movie and then after the

end just come out and like just raise up his hand any questions yeah exactly it was one of those things where every like if none of us really cared and we were all just kind of bummed that we had to be in an assembly so just real uninspiring Rudy appearance there would have been tears in my eyes oh god yeah we only had drug and rehab speakers come to old

oh were they like drag in like a wrecked car oh god did they ever set those scenes where it would be like a wrecked car and then people like hanging out of it and stuff yeah we did or someone with like a tracheotomy thing like don't smoke kids yeah they're like they're like religious but they can't they can't like you're like if you want to leave you want to have prayer i'll be over here praying

god can be anything yeah but they can't make all of you pray. God can be anything. It can be God. It can be Jesus. It can be one of those two things. Yeah. Yeah, Coach Bohan. One of those speakers.

Rudy, excellent pick. Now, as it is a serpentine draft, it is time for your second pick. I am going to go back to the animal route with Old Yeller. I'm going to take Netflix and take the animal route with Old Yeller. I'm going to take Netflix and take everything. Oh, Old Yeller. You fucking asshole. You can't wait. Sorry.

You cannot wait to do shit all over. Here, Yeller. So many dogs. Come back, Yeller. I've never seen Old Yeller. There's a stock on dog in the west. Not a lot of cats getting drafted. No, not a lot.

People don't give a fuck about cats. I love cats. They have nine lives. Yeah. Well, there's not a lot of cats getting drafted. No, no, no, no. People don't give a fuck about cats. I love cats. They have nine lives. Yeah. Yeah, they're fine. Well, there's not a lot of good cat movies. Well, a cat's not going to drag you out of something. You can't emotionally connect with a cat is why.

No, no. Except for mine. Right. I'm emotionally connected with Meeps. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love Meeps. She's charmed a lot of hearts.

Yeah. I'm allergic to cats, and I actually like Meeps. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Old Yeller you She's charmed a lot of hearts. Yeah. I'm allergic to cats and I actually like meeps. Thank you so much. Yeah. Old Yeller you love mostly because of the warthog hunting. Hey, why don't you go down to the bucket? Fresh papi, a fresh bucket of water down there. I used to love that movie.

Yeah. I bet if you put it on, I could still not watch it without crying. The end is just. I mean, that's kind of the point of the draft sheet. Do you think you would still cry at Marley and Me? Oh, absolutely. Really? Oh, yeah.

Marley and Me is like, I could be on my... It's almost like the more times you've seen it, the more you cry. Exactly. Because it's your sense memory. I don't cry at Rudy anymore, but that dream's also dead. Oh, okay. Let's put it on.

Let's see what happens. It's great. I mean, I don't think we're going to spoil the ending. If you haven't seen Old Yeller, what was it? Made in 1956 or something crazy like that? Yeah, and then they remade it with Malcolm, or with Frankie Muniz. What did they do? Yeah.

They remade Old Yeller? Yeah, they did like another one with Frankie Muniz. Wait, that's My Dog Skip. Nothing bad happens at the end. Are you thinking of My Dog Skip? Old Yeller 1957. Your boy was close. Does Skip die too?

Oh, I mean, eventually. All dogs die, Amy. Fess Parker. You're going to go to heaven. Yeah, that was the guy's name. The guy's name when it was Fess Parker. Fess Parker. That guy had opinions about baseball integration.

I guarantee you that right now. Why are you making my pick? I said I love that movie. Fess Parker, though. You're always looking to poke holes in what I'm doing here. No, I'm not. Shane's pick, two degrees away from Nazism. I'm just saying Fess Parker thought the Kansas City Monarchs should stay the Kansas City Monarchs.

Yeah. The old Washington Grey should stay the Washington Grey. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying the movie's bad just because everyone in it was definitely racist.

Including Yeller. Including Yeller. Yeah. The dog gets the rabies from saving him. From saving him from warthogs. Was it warthogs? Wild hogs, right?

Wolves. I thought it was a wolf. No, it was hogs. Oh, so it clues into the wild hogs franchise. Yeah, it's part of the wild hogs franchise. It's a prequel to the wild hogs. Well, now I have to see it. No, it's definitely hogs.

It's not wolves. What was the, see, I've never seen Old Yeller. It was? Boars, yeah. You've never seen Old Yeller. It was? Boars, yeah. You've never seen Old Yeller? No. Me either. I think I always just knew about how sad it was, and I was just like, I'm good.

It's just something that's out there that you don't... I think me not seeing Homeward Bound is less of a surprise. Well, that was more generational, though. Yeah. Yeah, Old Yeller came out in the 50s. It's kind of weird that we saw it. It's like you guys saw Cinderella, and that came out. That's true. Yeah. ItVL came out in the 50s. It's kind of weird that we saw it. It's like you guys saw Cinderella and that came out. That's true.

Yeah. It was on the Disney Channel. I had the Disney Channel. My dad's a lawyer. He was out of the house by then. Was it just the basic package or did you have like HBO? We didn't have the home box office. Just the Disney Channel.

Nickelodeon. Those are the two you need. VH1. VH1, yeah. Yeah. getting a lot of behind the music soon yeah i'll draft it behind the music next oh i wish they brought that back maybe it's still on he has to kill his own dog at the end right yeah yeah he's like i'll do it he's like yeah he's like his dad was like i'll do it he's like and then he does it yeah oh it's just like god he just turned it like you feel like you just turned that boy into a terrible man.

Yeah. Became the Zodiac killer. Oh, wait, you're right. We're, we're both kind of right. Boars

attacked the kid and old Yeller. And then, and then later on, a rabid wolf attack happens. I didn't know this was an action film. This is basically the prequel to The Grey. That was the whole pitch meeting.

There's a little bit of both. Yeah, Old Yeller, kind of a yoked dog, kind of a big, scary dog, but like on the side of good. Yoked dog. And then it ends after Old Yeller has been shot and killed and probably consumed by just the sort of animal that then it ends after old yeller has been shot and killed and probably consumed by just the sort of animals around his neck yeah yeah he adopts a little puppy named young yeller

i think they like the ending shot is his like grave with the cross is a christian come back yellow best dog on dog in the west bunch of dog country pumpkins dog he's a yeller let's call it yeller that's your people shame oh because he was yellow yeah because he was yeller Yeah, because he was yeller. I always thought it was because he yelped. He shouted at people like, hey, hey, hey. Oh, me too. I thought that's the same thing. Maybe it's both. Maybe.

Post-US Civil War Texas. Nah. Yeller. Keep going. I'm glad. That's why I only do this once. I love your movie. I think it's a great pick.

Yeah. It is a great pick. It is a great pick. It is a great pick. Yeller. Fucking, you know what I mean? Read a book. Also, Yeller was like, if you're scared, right? So were they just calling that dog, like, it's just old and scared.

Old and Yeller. Yeah, yeah. You're Yeller. You're a coward, you old coward. All right. They called all the Koreans in town the sameller. Yeah, yeah. You're a yeller. You're a coward, you old coward. They called all the Koreans in town the same day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it was Texas. You guys are a

certain way out there. Texas sucks. Wasn't Oregon an all-white state until the 19th? Oregon was so racist. It still is if you ask me. Not Beaverton. Oh my god, Ian. It's not where you're from. Beaverton's not racist. Don't die on that cross. First of all, it's not where you're from beaverton's not racist it's not die on that cross i'll die on it's first of all it's not a cross it's a coexist bumper it's a morbin tabernacle um yeah okay old yeller great pick and it's time for me to make my second pick you know it was a

great pick huh sam bowie you motherfucker yeah he was all right if you want to go with greg odin also a great pick we didn't know they were going to be injury ridden probably should have done your homework i hope derek novitsky dies what do you think about that he's gonna die a hall of famer with a ring god damn it old yeller so mark cuban's gonna have to shoot him and you guys might be true he is a blonde. That Sam Bowie cut. Yeah, that Sam Bowie joke cut me deeper than Mark Cuban's V-neck. I hate his shirts. I like the guy, though.

I can't blame you for his fashion sense. It's not what some people would call keen for a billionaire. What do you think about the Mavericks starting five? Do you know any of them? I think Dennis Johnson, Nerlens Noel. Nerlens is unsigned. Nerlens is unsigned. He's going to sign.

This is boring. All right, on to the second pick. I was just going to pull your card. Yeah. It didn't work. No, it didn't. Yeah, you had the cards. So with my second pick, I'm going to take Schindler's List.

Oh! Yeah. We were in a room together. us three the three of you me you and shane remember at nick goan's place uh you shane no i don't think i was there i don't know we all watched we all watched schindler's list i certainly wasn't there you were for sure no way i've seen it i've seen it once and i won't watch it again maybe it it was at Nick Ghosn's. I swear it was at Nick Ghosn's. I don't think I was there. Like four or five years ago.

We were all there. Wait, that sounds vaguely familiar. Was everyone crying? Actually, yeah. Yeah, maybe it was. We were all in the living room, and it was really weird that we had somehow all decided to get together and watch a very, very sad movie.

I can't imagine I would have stayed for the entirety of Schindler's list amongst a bunch of dirty goyim none of whom understand the impact of the show i had on me and my people the show the program the program the show because it was fake no the show the show what's the show the show the show because it was fake i'm saying this to my grandma and i'm giving her your phone number. But I swear, yeah. I don't think I was there. I don't think I stayed.

I think I probably left. Well, Nick Gunz, get at us. It's another word for the Holocaust. Yeah. Schindler's List, such a fun. I mean, obviously it's sad in so many different parts of it. I won't watch it. It's excruciating.

It's a beautifully shot movie. It's an important movie. The thing that kills me, and the hardest I've maybe ever cried in a movie or otherwise, I was in the dorms freshman year of college. I bought it at Best Buy, just when you would go to Best Buy and buy DVDs. I'm an adult. I'm going to need to watch this many times. I'm going to need to watch this a bunch. I'm going to want to watch Schindler's List a lot.

It's mostly this and dinner parties. Yeah. And I was alone in my dorm room because my roommate dropped out halfway into the year, which was awesome. Which is about how long it takes to watch Schindler's List. Yeah, which is. It's a long fucking movie.

But I watch it. At the very end, the last shot turns from the movie into actual survivors, like the people that Oscar Scherzman saved. Yeah. And I started fucking heaving crying. Like, cried for 45 minutes and decided to change my life and be more Jewish and shit like that.

Lasted about 12 hours. So right after you went to sleep. Yeah. I had a very jewish sleep though and uh he just had a bagel for breakfast that was kind of it yeah um but yeah such a fucking yeah i know i remember that ending too because it's like a long shot and they're are they at his grave they're at his grave i think they have like the names go up too yeah they have like yeah yeah do they have rocks they're putting something on his i think they were putting rocks yeah yeah yeah on his on his headstone yeah yeah seeing that yay like these

are the actual like because even knowing that that story was true yeah you know you're kind of like watching it and you're still well these are actors or whatever you can disconnect a little right and when it when it flashes to the real people you're like oh man this is like powerful and they live this now i remember the people at the end but like what i oh man this is like these people lived this now i remember the people at the end but like what i don't remember is like the uh the characters in the film was the people at the end were they the same people like where they be well they were they were the people that he saved yeah on the list yeah but like i mean the people in the film i mean by that point oscar schindler was dead and like his was dead. Well, I don't know.

I guess what I'm saying is the people they showed at the end, were they portrayed in the film? I don't know. The survivors. I don't think with any serious screen time. Okay. Unless, yeah. They weren't really treated as individuals in that whole situation. So it's hard to really do strong character work.

There it is, yeah. How am I doing? Jeez, this is the line for craft services or what? I will say, I mean, Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley. Amazing, an Irishman. Ralph Fiennes.

Love Liam Neeson. I was going to say, Ben Kingsley is the one that I'm like maybe he was in that last shot yeah yeah but I'm not sure

yeah I don't know he might have been too old Ralph Fiennes is like a fucking villain in that movie oh god he's amazing

that's a good bad guy yeah and he's laughing you're like Jesus fucking the one thing I don't think aged well

it was great at the time but was like how the whole movie was in black and white, except for a few things that were red. Now when you go back and look at that, it's like The Watchmen. You know?

It feels like that. Well, we loved that at the time. We really did. That was a big hit. Like coloring half a movie. Yeah. Yeah. Like the Truman Show.

Pleasantville. Pleasantville. Once that effect started being popular. Yeah. That burst of color. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty great.

Also, Jerry Seinfeld made out during Schindler's List. Oh, he did. Yeah. started being popular yeah that burst of color yeah yeah it was pretty great yeah also jerry seinfeld made out during schindler's list oh he did yeah that was like that was like one of the first ones i remember seeing it was like my philadelphia but i mean when i saw that movie i mean i was still like you know probably middle i think we watched it in in class or something and as like a kid though it was like that technique even though maybe like you were saying it doesn't look bad as a kid you were like oh that's a it was a really unique device in terms of being like this is a person you have already seen yeah yeah yeah you know um it's just the cover the move in the poster of the film oh yeah

the hands oh jesus there are so god some of those the ones that where they're like hiding in the poster of the film oh yeah the hands oh jesus there are so god some of those the ones that where they're like hiding in the outhouse and shit like that i'm sold i'm gonna watch it you it's hey i mean prepare yourself do it do it when you don't have anything to do the next day it really is a fucking bummer it's also long as hell it's almost three hours i would say like get some like comfort food it's more than three hours. I only bring this up because it's somewhat serendipitous. On the drive here, there is an elevator company called Schindler. Schindler's Lifts. Yeah, they're in a UK company, so they technically make Schindler's Lifts.

Schindler's Lifts. Shout out to them. You're called Jew with a speech impediment. Schindler's Lisp. Can I tell you the best thing about Schindler's Lisp. Can I tell you the best thing about Schindler's Lisp? It made around $300 million.

It's not bad. And why do you like that so much? It's not bad. Yeah. I swear that's not a joke I came up with before. I was just looking at the Wikipedia page for it. And it made $300 million. John Williams, all up on the score.

Yeah. Great movie. Amazing pick. We all agree. Great job, Ian. Zach Toscani, it is time for your second pick. Well, first of all, that was going to be my second pick. Yeah.

So you stole that from me. And I'm going to go- Or did I stealocaust movie from you um my second pick oh man i'm gonna go with mr holland's opus filmed in a little state called oregon yes featuring nick man pay friend of the podcast is nick in it he's in it for a second he is he's just in the crowd shot oh wow i love that at the end when he gets his opus yes yeah that's more that's like a victorious cry too yeah it is and also there's like a sad in a way there's the father and son angle too yeah like he didn't accomplish his dream because he wanted to write

like the next big like piece of classical music his opus by mr holland exactly yeah and he never got around to it was the students that played it for him you know all the students that he had taught over his like decades and also there was the storyline with his son who's deaf right yeah and he's like can't share this love of music with him i don't know it just gets me every time he finds out a way to share it with him. Exactly. With all the lights. Right.

The lights? I don't even know. Yeah. He uses lights and stuff. Like lights and rhythm. Oh. Set in Portland, Oregon. Is it in Portland?

I know it's in Oregon, but is it in Portland? Portland. At the Kennedy High School. Now the Kennedy School, where if you're in Portland, Oregon, you can have a beer or a soak. Maybe see a movie. Maybe all three. Shout out to the McMenamin family.

But not to their branding, because those sunshines and moons are not cute. It's not anymore. They got to get a new- This is a real local stuff. This is all for the Portland, Oregon listeners. I'm sorry. Anyway, Mr. Holland's- Mr. Holland's Opus.

I've never seen Mr. Holland's Opus. No. I like Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah, Richard Dreyfuss is great. Anyway, Mr. Holland's, I've never seen Mr. Holland's opus. No. But I like Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah, Richard Dreyfuss is great. It's good. All the first one stuff. Were you going to ask how I know it took place in Oregon? I know everything about that takes place in Oregon.

I've learned all that stuff. You know everything I did there. Yeah, I do know everything you did there. You probably do. Yeah. So it's about like a music teacher?'s a he's a public school music teacher and he's like taking the job just for like i'm just gonna do this for like two years and then like work on this like piece of music on his own and like you know it's kind of like how a lot of

people enter their jobs like well i'll just do this for the time being and then it kind of just becomes his job and he like starts to hey there's like different students that he like teaches along the way uh and oh god yeah the the football player yes that kid yeah like that was the saddest fucking thing that was that's um that's uh that actor's uh he was he's an empire. Or not empire. Oh, my God. Glenn Headley. Terrence Howard.

Oh. That football player was Terrence. Yeah, that's Empire, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Terrence Howard. He's like a good football player and he needs like an arts credit, right? Yeah.

And they make him play a drum. Yeah. He has no rhythm. They teach him rhythm and then he just like really excels. Yeah. And then he gets drafted and goes to vietnam oh no yeah yeah oh there's twists and turns baby wow mr holland's opus goes up and down i know musical terms the opus was really all the lives he touched along the way i think we could say that absolutely i feel like i feel like that is actually in the

final speech of the movie oh my god my God. Yeah, you nailed it. And strengthening the relationship with his deaf son. Exactly. You didn't have to see the movie, Ian, because you just wrote it. I got it. And also, borderline inappropriate with a student at one point. He gets close. Oh, that pretty brown-haired girl who sings, like, the Gershwin songs. Yeah, yeah.

And then she's like, I'm moving to New York the day after. And she invites him to come. Oh, well, we've all been there. Yeah. Woman promises to move to New York the day after. And she invites him to come. Oh, well, we've all been there. Yeah. Woman promises to move to New York with. Oh. I had a crush on my music teacher at the time in high school. So that really hit home for me.

What was his name? I'm not going to say. You were in there singing Rhapsody in Blue, even though it doesn't have any lyrics. I wrote these lyrics. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. I wrote these lyrics. This doing anything for you? I sing all the instruments.

I sing all the instruments. Do a drum now. Do a drum now. Boom, boom, boom. Mr. Holland's Opus excellent pick Dick Dreyfuss what's he doing these days Dick Dreyfuss is retired I think

he was in a sitcom a little while ago he doesn't want to live a public life he's like Rick Moranis he just is done he decided he's done there's like a community where they all live next to one another. It's called Bel Air. It's called Boca Raton.

Boca Raton. Richard Dreyfuss, Beverly Hills High School. Wikipedia is fun, huh? All right. Great pick, Zachary. Thank you. Amy Miller, it is time for your second pick. Okay.

This is a tough one, but I think I'm going to go with Good Will Hunting. Oh, damn it. Fuck you. It's not your fault. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so good. You're talking about the apple scene? That's the scene that makes you cry?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the fighting parts. A lot of that movie makes me cry, but Robin Williams is so fucking good. He's so good at it. Well, okay. First, you cry when he talks about his wife. Even the scene, which apparently Robin Williams ad-libbed the whole story about how she farted

so loud she woke herself up. He just put that in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't in the script, and he just did it, which is why Matt Damon's organically laughing really hard. But anytime he talks about his wife, and then, yeah, of course, the whole it's not your fault scene is just waterworks. Waterworks.

Also- Heaving. Can't breathe. I also cry at the, when Ben Affleck finally goes to his house and he's not there. Yeah. Oh my God.

That, yeah. It kills me. Just like that they love each other, the bro love. Yeah. Well, just like the, yeah, the love you'd have to tell someone like, like the worst part of my day is seeing you

because you should be out doing like all these amazing things. When he gives him the speech at the construction site, not a speech, but the talking to. Yeah. He's like, we're going to be playing, we're going to watch Patriots games. Our kids are going to play Little League together. He's like, we're going to watch Patriots games.

Our kids are going to play Little League together. He's like, I'm going to fucking kill you if you hear this. He's like, that's not a joke. I'm going to fucking kill you. What is the best part of my day is when I walk up to knock on that door. And you might not be there. And then also just the romance stuff with Minnie Driver. That scene where they split for a while.

Yeah, when she gets mad at him. Yeah, there's a lot of waterworks there. And then just the end when he's driving away to go see about a girl. He puts the note. And then Robin goes, you stole my line. Yeah. And then Elliot Smith is the same. Oh, yeah.

And that's when we all got into Elliot Smith well maybe not you Because of Oregon I got into Elliot Smith during my Heroin years When I was literally no The whole soundtrack Is amazing the fight Between Robin Williams and the other math

Professor Yeah Just is just like when they're like losing it and they talk about all their post like college bullshit. Oh, their old shit, yeah. Yeah, it's just like just so intense. Like you were like, it's finally coming it's all coming to the surface. Right, yeah, yeah.

Those are intense moments in your life when you finally let people like, when you take down the blinds and let everybody have it. It's fucking crazy. Well, it's like that's I don't know, that's, I don't know. That's what I like. I mean, that's what makes it a great movie is there's all these like layers to it. Where like even the characters that aren't the main character that this is about have like additional backstories.

Yeah. And like relationships with other characters. Yeah. And those moments where it like Robin Williams history informs like how he deals with Matt Damon. Because there's, remember that one point where he's like talks shit about his wife and he's like he gets real violent yeah oh yeah he's like if you ever fucking mention my wife yeah i will yeah yeah oh he calls him something weird too chief yeah you got not not the greatest boston accent but i never really think about it yeah i don't care he's, I don't care. He's perfect in it.

He's everyone's thing. He's great. I'll say that bad accents don't really bother me that much. If it's the right person. Yeah, if it's the right person. The acting can carry it through. The rest of the acting can carry it through. I always wanted, though, just cast Mark Wahlberg in period pieces just to have a guy in the

Wild West with a Boston accent. That'd be amazing. A mini driver is such a good crier. Oh, she's such a good onscreen crier. And then when she does like the big cry, like a gulp in that movie, when, uh,

I can't remember what he does. If he just like, he stands her up or, or he breaks it off. And then he does like that silent. he calls her, right? Yeah yeah he calls her and she's just busted up over it

Oh when she lets him have it over the money he makes the money come and she stands up for herself That whole movie is just fucking a tearjerker. It is emotionally laden Thank you so much And probably like a very inspiring movie if you're a janitor at a college.

Yeah. You know, just give it a shot. If you're also a math genius. Maybe I'll try to do somebody's math. Ah,

fuck me. What now? Four plus five. Ah! You're nothing but a mophead. This is the Mewks and X guy.

Directed masterfully by Gus Van Sant from Portland, Oregon. Frequenter of Mary's Club. Frequenter of Mary's, yeah. Is this the Mucs and X guy? Directed masterfully by Gus Van Sant from... Portland, Oregon. Frequenter of Mary's Club. Frequenter of Mary's, yeah. But I think it's really good he made the choice not to... I mean, that movie couldn't have been anywhere else but Boston.

No, it had to be. And if Gus had been like, we're doing it in Oregon, that movie would have sucked. It would have been terrible. He's a math genius at Portland State University. You like apples? The city is your campus. You like apples? Yeah, me too.

There's this farmer's market on the PSU Park blocks. Everyone just gets along. Maybe it could be an open thing between the three of us. At the end, he turns down a job from Reed College instead of the Department of Defense. Good Will Hunting, excellent pick. It is a serpentine draft, which means you also have to make your third pick now. Oh, man. Okay.

All right. This is hard. I'm going to go Terms of Endearment. I've never seen it. Neither have I. Oh, my. Don't watch it. Who's in it and what's it about?

Deborah Winger and Jeff Daniels. Young, gorgeous, both of them. Jack Nicholson, Shirley MacLaine. All-star fucking cast. Debra Winger has cancer, but Jeff Daniels is also cheating on her. But she has two kids, and there's a little boy who's really sweet. He's the youngest. He loves her a lot.

And then she has, like, a 12-year-old boy who's, like, a dick, you know? So the crying scene amongst others. There's really sweet. He's the youngest. He loves her a lot. And then she has like a 12-year-old boy who's like a dick, you know? So the crying scene, amongst others, there's a lot, is she's in the bed. She's saying her final goodbyes to her kids, right? This would fucking kill you. Especially because brothers, no, don't watch it.

Yeah. And also, I think about this stuff all the time. So she's laying in the bed and the kid's still being kind of a dick, but the little one's crying, and she's like, I know that you love me, and it's hard for you to say. And later in life, when you say to yourself, oh, I should have told her while she was still alive,

don't be that hard on yourself. Don't do that to yourself. I'm going to cry right now. I am not joking. And then the little one is just sobbing the whole time. He's probably the greatest kid actor of our lifetime, and I don't think he did anything else. He's got this bowl cut and little cherub cheeks, and he's sobbing.

And then the older one, the dickish kid, goes out, and they say goodbye or whatever, and then she says to the little one who's crying, she said, I was pretty scared, but I think that went okay, right? And the little one just nods his head through tears oh my god it's fucked up oh there's also a lot of shirley mclean won an oscar for it well deserved um there's a there's a great scene with her where they're like not giving deborah winger the pain medicine and she's like give my daughter the shot like screaming at these nurses

why does she have to be in pain give my daughter the shot, like screaming at these nurses, why does she have to be in pain? Give my daughter the shot. And it's like, waterworks, that whole movie. And then there's a scene at the funeral at the end after Debra Winger's dead where Jack Nicholson is sort of this like gruff, cool guy, like player neighbor, you know. He's not like really into kids. Finally kind of takes the two boys under his wing, you know, like come play with me. Oh, my God. And you're like, oh, he's going to take really into kids finally kind of takes the two boys under his wing you know like come play with me oh my god and you're like oh he's gonna take care of these kids jack nicholson

took him to the rainbow room got him hammered he took him to the then they went over to candy burgundy's place and did rails jack nicholson as jack nicholson. Have you seen it? If I have, it's been a long time. Can I speak to Marissa? Of course, yeah. Marissa's a person. I can't believe you guys.

You got to watch it. I thought I had seen it, but I'm thinking of maybe Steel Magnolias in my head. Don't mention other movies. I think it's on, yeah, especially that one. I think it's on one of the apps. It says here John Lithgow's in it. It's on Netflix. Oh yeah, John Lithgow. It's so good. It won five Oscars. Whoa. It's very good.

James L. Brooks, best picture, best director, best actress, best supporting actor, best adapted screenplay. I would say it's one of the most, it's one of the biggest crying movies of all time. I gotta see this thing. Let's all watch it together. Danny DeVito's in it too?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Danny DeVito's in it. Shirley MacLaine's so hot. What a strange career he's had. I know. DeVito? Yeah.

He's great, man. He's fantastic, but he just like, now I think people, like a whole generation of people only identify him with It's Always Sunny in Philly. Yeah, absolutely. And like he's been in so many movies. He's been great in so many things. He's the best. Even that movie Jack the Bear, which is not a great movie.

Sorry. I don't think anybody was going to pick it. No, that's a good one, though. But there's a scene where he freaks out, and it is so intense. His kids are just bawling. It's, oh, Jesus. I mean, he was in One Flew the Cuckoo's Nest. Yeah, he was.

So was Jack Nicholson. was So is Jack Nicholson Again as Jack Nicholson And Christopher Lloyd I think was in that too Cool This is such a bummer I'm about to flip the script With my next pick More dogs

I'm going to go with Crying Laughing. Oh! Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore Crying Laughing. Yes. So,

also at the scene, I was hanging out. I was with my cousins. Me and my sister were staying with my cousins. And we always stayed with them. And it was my

my uncle Dave. And he would always rent us like really just like he loved movies and music so he would like always introduce us to a bunch of stuff and off this random chance he was like hey this is the this movie with this guy from the from snl like do you guys want to watch this and i had never seen anything adam sandler before and we watched it and my sister was older than me and my cousin was older than me and i pissed my pants laughing literally pissed my pants laughing cried laughing and i was given no shit for it like everyone understood because everyone else was also

like on the ground convulsing laughing you Do you know specifically what parts? Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, the Bob Barker thing was just crazy because you didn't really see cameos like that. And then for him to, as a kid, the turn of him beating the shit out of Adam Sandler was great. That's so funny. It's perfect.

When he walks away shadowboxing, he's just like, he doubles up his jab and throws how much did that make you like how much more did that make you like bob barker a lot to like a lot of like gadzooks t-shirts yeah and there was like there was so there's specific meaning i would always get they would make fun of me because there's that scene where uh happymore is on the intercom and he's like talking to his girlfriend, you know, and he's like going back and forth between very gloving and like yelling at her. Yeah. And then she leaves and then he's just kind of doing it to no one.

And there's just one scene where there's just a kid outside kind of listening. And I looked exactly like that kid. But it was great. But yeah, like that whole, I don't know. I remember laughing so hard at the like, the old Asian woman who comes in

and then the next morning, yeah, the next morning being like, oh my God. It's so perfect. To the light closes in. To the light closes in. Yeah.

Kevin Nealon. It's like the door swings open too. Kevin Nealon being that psychopath. Oh yeah. Just send it home. Shooter McGavin. Kevin Nealon being that psychopath. Oh, yeah. Just send it home. Shooter McGavin. Yeah, Shooter McGavin. The fantasies he would have and the way they would get disturbed were so fucking funny to me.

So good. I think when they would show him being edited on TV as they were watching it, for some reason the bleeps were funnier to me than the swearing. It was like, if you were watching this on Oh, the bleeps? For some reason, the bleeps were funnier to me than the swearing. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, if you were watching this on TV, it's just constant. Bleeps are always kind of funny. I think bleeps are funnier

than swearing. Yeah. It's like a bar is funnier than showing like a dick. Exactly. Also, it's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. Him taking the baseballs

like in the, or the, yeah. What? Going to the batting cage? When he goes to the batting cage and takes the baseballs to the chest it's oh yeah oh shit that was like you that day after the breakup that is why you didn't hit it no i couldn't feel at all

uh yeah this is a survival state and just like i always yeah i just and i'm totally in love with like the um the the class warfare of those kind of movies oh yeah trash versus clash oh yeah always yeah there's so much good stuff and yeah also like when he pulls up somebody pulls up in the limo and he just goes well must, must be Burt Reynolds or something. Like, what is your deal? Everything is like, he has like this habit of dated references in his movies. Yeah. Of course, that's like what The Wedding Singer was about, I think.

Dated references, absolutely. Yeah. Great pick. Yeah. Yeah, way to flip the script on people. Happy Gilmore. Yeah. Also kind of touching. I mean, the whole thing with-

His grandma. His grandma is like emotional. And with the- Julie Bowen. Oh, and the hips guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Carl Weathers. Carl Weathers.

What's his character's name again? Chubbs. Chubbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the hand thing. You killed a golfing legend, Gilmore. When he was like gluing his hand back together. He's going to pee right now.

He didn't have enough money to get a new hand. He says to me, a big guy like you, I thought you would have played a sport like football. He goes, my mom thought it was too dangerous. He's just like, yeah, makes sense. He just grabs his hand and puts it up. So stupid. I have no comedies on this list.

Just want everybody to know. That was a refreshing shift from Terms of endearment. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age.

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I like it. I don't know if it's a good movie, but it's certainly a fucking tearjerker. I'm going to take Big Fish. Oh, yeah. Heavy dad implications in this pic. Heavy dad implications. Yeah. Dad stuff's always, you know, whatever.

I don't know. Why are y'all like that? And Albert Feeney, yeah, he's fantastic. He's so good in it. And weirdly, it's like my dad likes that movie, and then I like that movie, and I'm like, how can we both? How can we both think we're the same? Yeah, exactly. Whatever. Yeah. I mean,, how can we both? He thinks it's about his dad.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's like we all have that. Yeah. Yeah. The circle of life. We're interlocking chains. But you can stop the cycle, Zach.

I will. And your kid will be like, I don't relate to this at all. There were plenty of weird trees in Big Fish. Yeah, but it didn't seem like it wasn't like, you know, they were putting them on Hot Topic socks. It's a great book, too. Is it a good book? Yeah. I haven't read the book.

The book's a tearjerker as well. The tall tales are great. Yeah. The tall tales are amazing. It's a really whimsical, fun movie like that. Albert Finney is fantastic. Albert Finney's great in it. Yeah.

What's the lead's name? I can't remember. Well, there's Ewan McGregor plays Young. And then it's Billy Crudup. Billy Crudup. Yeah. Billy Crudup plays the son, right? Yeah. Billy Crudup having a renaissance. Is he? What's Crudup. Billy Crudup. Oh, yeah. He plays the son, right? Yeah.

Billy Crudup having a renaissance. Is he? What's Crudup doing? Crudup renaissance. He's in everything right now. The Crudup-a-sance. He's been resurrected. Yeah.

He's in that show Gypsy. Oh, is he in that Stanford Experiments thing? I haven't seen that. Yeah. I think he might be in that. But yeah, he's great. And then is it Jessica Lange? Is that the-

Yeah. Yeah. She's like- The mom. Yeah. She's always a good then, is it Jessica Lange? Is that the one? Yeah. Yeah, she's like- The mom. Yeah, she's a- She's always a good on-screen crier, too, yeah. But she is great in, like, cover, she's just so fucking good in everything she does. Yeah.

Yeah. But I like, yeah, another, well, another movie that ends with the funeral scene and all the characters that he were like- The real version of them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the giant- Yeah, that was like the coolest thing. They're just these embellishments and it is a good movie but like i think yeah and if you have a like

i mean my dad's still around i'm very fortunate in that way but like sort of like a self-aggrandizing sort of blustery type person sometimes and then like sort of like relate to that you know what i mean right yeah and then be like look at that you can love even the those imperfections about something right well that's what you have to come to terms with and that's like kind of i mean it's a little bit of a movie about storytelling too i mean just like you're all you're always embellishing certain things yeah or how you take them in what it shows him as a young man which is kind of like he like when he wants to leave the town right like yeah yeah because he's like the hot shit and if i remember i haven't seen the movie in years, but he's like hot shit in his town.

Yeah. And then he's just like, I feel like this world is too small for me. You're just like, oh. I always felt like this Steve Buscemi character where he's like, ah, I'm going to stay in this town. This feels nice. Must be nice to be that guy. Danny Elfman doing work in there too. Yeah.

Good score. Good score. Was that Juliet? What's her name? Is it the French actress that she plays Billy Crudup's wife? Binoche? Is that her? Oh, I don't know.

Oh, oh. I think she plays Marie. Oh, Marion Cotillard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marion Cotillard. Ali. Oh, she's so beautiful. She is.

She's great in not gonna get picked but midnight in Paris right oh yeah not gonna get picked very alluring wouldn't you say also pretty solid in public enemies I don't know if I've seen oh yeah public enemies

absolutely yeah anyway big fish fucking knocks it out of me every time yeah it's so sad at the end when like he reconciles with his dad and like brings him down you know like running him out of the hospital right oh great well he's so embarrassed with him at the beginning of the movie he's like god he got his tells these fucking stories all the time and my dad also does that where it's like you love the story the first couple times you hear it and then subsequently you're just like i'm so sick of this story that's the thing with stories is if you meet somebody for the first time times you hear it, and then subsequently you're just like, I'm so sick of this story.

That's the thing with stories is if you meet somebody for the first time and you have a great story, it's always interesting to them, but never to the people who have heard it a thousand times. It's always interesting to the person who's telling it, too. Yeah. I'm the star of this. I stood over the big fish, mammal, whatever.

Seinfeld? No one? The whale? Yeah, the whale. Fish, mammal, whatever. Seinfeld? No one? The whale? Yeah, the whale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fish, mammal, whatever. Easy, Bigfellas. Shane Torres, it is time for your third pick.

I'm going to get a lot of shit for this. How many picks do we do? Five. Okay. Shane's going to select home movies. Oh. I already did the Netflix joke earlier. Sort of a sampler pl earlier. Don't look at me

out of the corner of your eye like that. I'll give you both eyes. Here we go. I wasn't going to say this, but this actually clicked. The Adam Sandler movie. What? Two Adam Sandler movies. Are you serious? I'm 100% serious.

I haven't seen it since. Okay. So you were having a hard day. This is about other stuff. People might have your back on this for some reason. Somebody, if you do. There is like a cult following for Click, I feel like. I've heard people talk about this.

I know what it's about, and I know it's not like a good Adam Sandler movie. 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. Let me get it out before you... Go ahead. Bell's been wrong. I get to... All right. But there's just a scene where he's dying in the end, and the music is so intense.

And I saw it at that nickel arcade on Belmont in Portland, the one that Tim Hammer used to work at. And I probably was... I'm sure I was super lonely that day. It was so emotional. I started crying and the guy in front of me was also crying. Then he kept looking back at me.

He kept saying, could you stop that? You were both crying but he wanted you to stop crying? He's the star of his own movie. He kept saying, could you stop that? He kept looking back at me. I was like. You were both crying, but he wanted you to stop crying? Yeah, yeah, okay. Because he's the star of his own movie. He kept saying, could you stop that? And he kept looking back at me. And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing.

And then I finally told him to fuck off. And then another guy was like, hey, guys, calm down. And then we were both like, shut the fuck up. Whoa. Yeah. This is like the saddest story about men having feelings and not knowing where to put them. I'll fucking punch you. Would you stop crying or I'll hit you?

First of all, I have feelings. Yeah, I said and knowing where to put them. I'm working on it. I know. Do you think that guy was talking to himself like, stop that. Just looking over his shoulder. Stop it, Darren. My name's not Darren.

I'm Shane. I don't sound like that. I don't sound like that. You just did it. I don't sound like that. Oh, my favorite. Why am I friends with anyone? My favorite movie theater Shane experience was when we went.

He's going to say theater like that and you're not gonna make fun of him? Thirder. Thirder. I didn't catch it. You're not getting any jokes off. Thanks for making me feel better. You're getting jokes off. No, no, no. This is good. This is good. I'm glad I could be here since Sean's not. You needed a punching bag. That's true.

Go ahead, Zach. We went to Whole Foods. Your fucking stupid orange socks. That's the best I got so far. Zach's wearing orange socks. Yeah. Visual joke. On a podcast. We went to Whole Foods. Your fucking stupid orange socks. That's the best I got so far. Zach's wearing orange socks. Yeah. We went to Whole Foods. We went to Whole Foods and we got groceries, which Shane put in his backpack. Now we get

to the movie theater. Our plan is to like eat the food in the theater. We get into the theater and the theater. It is weird. Yeah. I know. I can weird. Yeah. I know. I can't. Cincinnati. It's Cincinnati shit.

So we get in there and the guy's like, I need to check your bag. I have no idea what you're talking about. And so he checks the first zipper, which is not where the groceries are, and Shane sighs in relief. Then he gets to the zipper where the groceries are. Now we're both getting nervous because we don't know what happens. You have backpacks full of groceries. Yeah. We don't know what happens. You have backpacks full of groceries. We don't know what happens.

We understand if you bring in candy or soda, they would be like, that's fine. We have full-on sandwiches. There's a box salad. Yeah, I do this often. There's bottled drinks. Like a rotisserie chicken under my arm. I think there were chicken tenders for sure.

And he unzipped where the food was and opened it up and shane just critical crisis mode goes my fucking groceries i don't think i did that and the guy was just like chill out man i'm just looking for a camera you are embellishing this so fucking hard zero percent almost the score click on rotten tomatoes zero percent almost the score click on rotten tomatoes okay so what about it it makes you cry they're just this scene there's a lot of father son stuff in there but there's just this scene where he's like he has i can't even remember i think he has a heart attack at the end and it's like raining and it's's so, and the music, music in movies will always get me.

Absolutely. Like if there's like, I can relate songs to certain scenes in movies a lot. And it was just like this like ambient score. But it was like, it was just like, I just. Was it swelling? Did it start to swell? It came up. There might have been some.

Some swells. Some cellos in there. Like a crescendo was happening. It was a wave of emotion. We are human pianos who can be played by experts.

Yeah, I kind of like being manipulated by it sometimes. That is so weird. So, click's about the little dad stuff and he has a remote control

that can move time back and forth. Is that the whole story of that? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he mentioned any major black places. And it's like what his life would be like if he had done if he does pursue things and what he does yeah we should re-emphasize that it's adam sandler it's adam sandler and he's got a time traveling remote control it's a lot like the

movie philadelphia where a man grips with the aids crisis a real thing. Sorry. No, it's great. No, sorry, sorry. I was honest. I shouldn't be honest. I should not be honest, and you've never seen it. I haven't seen it. You just judge things you don't see or know.

100%. All of us do all the time. I've seen it. You've seen it. Didn't feel a thing. You know what she did? Well, she used that channel changer. She used that channel changer off your heart my heart is so soft you know that yeah

i to your to your credit i haven't seen it but i have heard other people talk about how it's kind of emotional like surprisingly marissa you have you seen it? Emotional? Oh, yeah. Okay. Thank you. So Marissa's on your side. I know she just feels bad for me, but I appreciate it, though. He needs this. Yeah. So with my next pick, I'm taking Little Nikki. No, I'm sorry. You have another pick first.

My bad. A Big Daddy. My bad. You have another. Big Daddy does have a little bit of it. There are some moments. Yeah. Shane, it's time for your fourth

pick as it is a serpentine draft uh i will pick friday night lights the movie friday night lights you know it doesn't come with a tv i had a feeling you were gonna try to snake that shit in here it's a it's a fucking it's a great movie it's an incredible book yep it may be the greatest show in the history of television you want you're talking about it because you want to talk about the show. No. I can talk about the movie. I can talk about it on all platforms. Don't you fucking mention that show.

This is movies. You are crossing some fucking lines. I will now direct the jury not to consider the television program. Friday Night Lights. Strike it from the memory. Nor the soaring score provided by wait or does Explosion of the Sky also on the movie yeah they're all over the movie

that's what broke them but it's just West Texas in football Billy Bob Thornton doing like good Billy Bob Thornton not bad Santa too great Billy Bob and I'd read the book before so that has something to do with it

so I could identify with the characters before. But it's also my home state. It all seems extremely familiar. And he's like, Billy Bob Thorne's an asshole in it, kind of. He's not like the other coach. Coach Taylor? Don't you do it?

And I also saw it with my dad. There you go. yeah also you love tim mcgrath movies you consider this more of a tim mcgrath movie what is another tim oh the blind side oh yeah he is on the blind side isn't it yeah fucking tim mcgrath dude he loves there's just nothing the whole movie looks great it looks like it looks great. And the booby miles character. Everything's sad in that anytime they give a synopsis of what happens to characters in real life films at the end of a movie,

it's always... Crushing. Yeah, it's always such a bummer. It's never good news. It's always just like, he's a truck driver now and he sees his kids every three months. You're just like, fuck. It's such a.

And they also. They don't win. Yeah. Which is like, it's not a joy cry. It is. It is a is a cold slice of reality. Sure. Yeah.

That is like, that's like the way these like, that's the nice thing about movies is that the most skilled person doesn't always win like in real life right right right yeah yeah it's nice when movies

do that you know cause then you can feel terrible after watching a piece of art that's what we're here for uh yeah the score's amazing

emotional movie and it looks great takes place in Texas beautiful movie Alec Berg and it's got my girl Connie Britton in it she is in it.

She is in it. Yeah. She's in the movie and the TV show? Yeah. Wow. Her hair's in both, too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she is.

And that great accent. And then whenever they lose, they always put their for sale signs in their yard. That's right. That's so shitty. You deserve to end up with a woman like Connie Britton, Shane. thank you i hope it happens i hope it happens i'm i'm open to any suggestion especially if connie if you're listening you want to marry shane and bear my child i will raise the child together we're almost one yeah one full man almost yeah emotionally almost one full man weight wise three and a half men.

Really more of an offensive line. Friday Night Lights, excellent pick. It is now time for me to make my fourth pick. And I think I'm going to go to the animated world. And also... I think I know. Can I guess what you're... I have a guess, too.

Are you going to say Up? No. But other people might. Oh, that's on my list. I shouldn't have let you guess. Are you going to say up? No, but other people might. Oh, that's on my list. I shouldn't have let you guess. Are you going to say Lion King? No. Okay, we got to stop.

That's on my list. We should stop the show together. That's my impression of Amy. Let's hear it again. That's on my list. I don't sound like that. Just to be clear for the listeners at home, that was actually Shane doing Amy and Amy doing Shane.

It sounds just like that heartbeat. I'm sure a lot of people are confused. I'm going to take A Land Before Time. Oh, Littlefoot. Littlefoot. Treehorn. Treehorns. Tree stars.

Oh, yeah. Treehorns. Ducky. Spike. Shout out to Spike. So sad. So sad. Never should have had one sequel.

No. Let alone 25. It had so many sequels. It should have had one sequel. No. Let alone 25. It had so many sequels. It should have just been the one. Oh, they only got straight to. There's so many, yeah. Well, a couple of them were in theaters, and then. They moved to like the straight to DVD.

And then like you could only get them at Pizza Hut at some point. Like it was one of those things. Cracker Barrel exclusive. These are our little foot breadsticks. Yeah. Just like a. Like. It's one of those. Especially as a kid. I don't think it would make me cry now, but like, it's these kids, kid dinosaurs.

Well, it's pretty dark. They're like essentially starving to death the whole movie, right? They're starving to death, yeah. They have no parents. It's actually a biblical story. Littlefoot's mom dies fighting a T-Rex, right? Something like that, yeah. And then they have to go out on their own to find the tree stars.

And they eventually find them, baby. Which is food. Yeah, which is food. It's leaves, yeah. Where they think they find them once and then a herd of brontosaurus eats. Yeah, coming and eat them. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fucking...

It's a tear jerk. I don't think it would make me cry now, but it's getting the throwback pick from something that just fucking ruined me when I was a little kid. I thought it would make you cry now. You think it would? Maybe I'll do that. I'll run an experiment. I'll do the experiment and then I'll update the video tape. Video tape you watching it.

I'll put a GoPro. I'll wear a helmet with a GoPro that's just facing my face the whole time. So you can watch me watch The Land Before Time. I would watch that there's people that would there's like i mean i didn't really know anything about like what twitch was until like a few months ago and that i mean i'm not a video gamer anyway but like the idea that people watch other people play video games video games oh you've never done that show in oregon where you perform on this guy's twitch channel just for him in his garage?

Well, it pays very well. Really? It did? Yeah, I made like $800. What? I had to do a 30-minute set just for this guy and everybody on Twitch. And it wasn't creepy. No, it never got creepy or weird.

He's just a regular dude who's a very popular Twitch show. Well, book me. Because you're doing comedy and then people donate. They go like, here's 100 bucks for Amy or whatever. I got a visceral reaction to Land Before Time because my mom is

one of nine kids. We had like 30 cousins. My aunt, Suzanne, had one kid. He was the only cousin that was a was the only child and every time when we had to like vote on what all the kids were gonna watch he was the only one who wanted to watch land before time and he wanted to watch it every single time and his mom that guy doing now uh he's doing all right it like it was just like a weird childhood phase but he just want it was like he had never not gotten his way and they just like

forced it down our throats and i was like i fucking hate this because he was just fucking he was the trump of that vote just appease him put it on yeah but did it make you cry when you were again um probably good probably in quiet yeah and like you'd go to the bathroom and sniffle a little bit yeah yeah and then come back and be like I'm fine just as I'm a total mama's

boy shout out to St. Sue Carmel the best yeah she listens I love yeah of course who knows I love her say hi to mom I ran into her at the Nike store at Christmas I say hi yeah of course Sue knows I love her say hi to mom I ran into her at the Nike store at Christmas I love that

yeah it was so sweet we had a lot of fun my mom they were my hot dates your mom and sister Aliza Carmel yeah shout out to Aliza Carmel

oh I wanna say your things that are actually good episode yeah good actually yeah being a mama's boy being a mama's boy. Being a mama's boy

is good actually. Yeah. Yeah. I have, Amy, see now, see here's Amy's scale. Not if you have to date him. That's true.

I have a lot of ex-girlfriends and not a current one. There's no way we can ever measure up. Shout out to Adam. Or maybe try harder. Yeah. Learn how to make lasagna.

You have no idea how hard I try. Shout out to Adam Triplett. Shout out to scenes from a movie. I am a saint. Shane, don't. Oh, my God. You do try hard.

He won't listen to this because there's animals dying in the beginning. Oh, nice. So he'll never hear it. Oh, man. Well, let it go. The land before time. The land before time. Zach Toscani, we currently live in a land before your fourth pick, but that's going to change right now.

I'm good at this. Fourth pick? Yeah. I feel like this is going to be blockbuster. Little Miss Sunshine. That's on my list. Yes. God damn it.

It is. I bet it's the same scene, too. It's fantastic. I mean, there's multiple my list. Yes. God damn it. I bet it's the same scene too. It's fantastic. I mean, there's multiple cry scenes. Like when the grandfather dies is there for sure. I think the conversation between Steve Carell and Paul Dano on like where they run out of the dance recital. And they're just like standing on the pier and they're like it's basically when paul dano like comes back to like okay like my family are the only ones

taking care of me and i have to like you know it kind of sucks but like it's just a weird period yeah and like when he finds out he can't go into the military yeah oh he can't be a pilot this gets me and my brother because we're like about same age difference 10 years apart where uh where olive who i was all for halloween once where olive comes out of the van and puts her arm around him oh i cry so much and that's all it took because he like freaks out in the van but he's still not saying anything he freaks out and they have to pull over yeah he's like banging the car he's like beating the shit out in the van, but he's still not saying anything. Well, he freaks out, and they have to pull over. Yeah. Because he's banging the car. He's beating the shit out of the van.

And she gets him to come back. Yeah. And she doesn't say anything. Everyone's saying things to him, and she just comes over and puts her arm around him. I can't. No, no, no. Yeah, that's totally on my list. And even Greg Kinnear's character, who's a total ass.

There's so much sad shit about him in that. You know that he's just, it's like all this is make or break on that book deal. And then he goes through all this stuff and then meets up I think it's Bryan Cranston. It is. It's Walter White. The book rep or whatever. And he's just like, it's not gonna happen, dude.

Nobody knows who you are. It's just like everyone's dreams getting crushed. Yeah, but Olive just being herself. Yeah. And I related being herself. Yeah. And I related to that a lot. Just as like the youngest kid and a girl and just being weird. And people are like, what is she up to? Yeah.

And I'm just doing my own thing. Doing this sexy dance. And Toni Collette is like a tidal wave in that movie too. Oh, yeah. She's fucking incredible. Just that scene at the end where they don't want her to like perform. Because they're like, they're just going to hate her. You know, like. Yeah. And then she's just like, she's like, she's going to do it want her to, like, perform. Because they're like, they're just going to hate her. You know, like. Yeah.

And then she's just like, she's like, she's going to do it. Trying to protect her. Yeah. Yeah. And then the release. Like, if we take this. From, like, her performance of just. Like, I forget what song.

Because Olive doesn't know she's being ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's super. Yeah. Yeah. Like, the release from all that anxiety that's just, like, building up in you all the fucking time.

And the super freak is, like, that scene you'll laugh, like, or you'll cry laughing because it's so funny and yeah it's it's just the perfect like way of and like kind of bringing all those people together in that movie it's like all right we're all gonna do this like really incredibly stupid thing yeah and like fuck everyone else in this room the alan Arkin character in it. So good. Yeah, just like the very first line is the goddamn fucking chicken again. You want my advice, Dwayne? Fuck a lot of women, Dwayne.

You're just like, Jesus. A lot of women. You got to get that young stuff. That's the best stuff in the world. It's just like, oh, Jesus. He's like, you're crazy not to do heroin at my age. Anytime there's a movie with Alan Arkin trying to inform younger people is just golden. Fuck Alan Arkin's great.

Toni Collette, too, just to go back. Just underrated. So underrated. Oh, she's got a lot of crime movies. Yeah, she's so good. She's got a couple. And I think my favorite scene, and it's got a lot of crying movies yeah she's so good she's got a couple and there I think my favorite scene and it's not a crying scene

is like when the so the grandfather dies and they're like at the hospital and they have to deal with all the paperwork and it's like it's like the doctor

who comes out and he's like hey like passed away you're gonna have to like sign all these forms and he's like yeah let me go ahead and get your grief counselor

and he walks and just into a hallway. He's just like, Linda! Like, so impersonal. You just told these people they, like, I'm sorry he died anyway. Yeah, and the grief counselor, she's just like, they're like, we got to take care of this later. We have to get to the pageant.

And she's like, you're not the only one who's had someone die here today. It's like your post office joke just like it available on Comedy Central this fall established in 1981 yep but yeah just I love that movie so much

and rewatchable for so many different reasons also really good music in it I remember the music set the tone of that film a lot. Oh yeah, it's Dvachka, right? Yeah. They're great. Great pick, Zach. Fantastic. Yeah. Amy Miller, it is time for your fourth pick. But it was on my list.

Sorry. That sucks. Okay. Four, two left. Okay, well this already came up. I also had up on my list. I had to cross that off because we keep saying movies out loud. But this did come up, but I got to do it anyway.

Steel Magnolias. Oh, yeah. Speaking of laughter through tears, one of the best Dolly Parton lines ever in a movie, laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. Because the scene with Sallyally field after julia roberts is dead and she's freaking out and going i just want to know why and then they break the tension by making fun of shirley mclean i vaguely remember it's been a while because olympia du

caucas is like real mean to her yeah and so she just insults her and then they all start laughing. And it like breaks this like horrible crying scene where she's like, it should have been me. And anytime there's, you know. God, that part is, yeah. Mother, daughter stuff. Like, there's a lot of cries in that movie. When Jackson, the baby, is just crying at the house because shelby's passed out and on the floor and no one else is there and so the kids just screaming and then in the end

after shelby's dead when jackson comes like running to uh to sally field his grandma and like doesn't really know his mom's dead because he's a toddler and she's like crying but trying to keep it together the drink your juice Shelby scene Shelby drink your juice which is something I did not know MK Paulson the treat that he is I love that

he will anytime you're drinking with him and you're slowing down he'll be like drink your juice Shelby he's done that to me and oh my god down, he'll be like, drink your juice, Shelby. He's done that to me. And, oh my God, like everything he says is the funniest thing that's ever been said. But just that scene where she can't, well, she won't drink the juice.

It's just so fucking crazy and sad. Yeah, don't talk about me like I'm not here. Oh, God. The deal, it's, I love when a movie will deal with grief and like with moments of levity like that. Because that's how humans do it. Oh, and then, oh, this is timely. Dolly's husband is Sam Shepard.

R.I.P. And he's like real gruff. You know, he just works and sits in his chair. He was fantastic. And then when he buys her the second beauty salon at the end. Oh, and Dolly Parton has the great line of, I'm a chain. Yeah, I'm a chain. It's so touching.

Or even when he's like going, he says he's not going to Shelby's funeral, you know, because he just works so much and he just can't deal with it. But he also probably doesn't like feelings. And then he puts on his suit and Dolly cries a little and she's like, look handsome and he decides he's gonna go but he never really says it he just puts on the suit so she knows he's going oh so great so good that's all that movie is like all my aunts because i like that is i can see that yeah i have six aunts and like that is exactly what they're like like they're so mean to each other but but they're best friends. And they have the same accent, this Oklahoma accent. And it's just, oh, poor Julia Roberts. I think I watched that movie as a kid because I had such a crush on Julia Roberts.

Who did it? Getting into that movie, I was like, this was more than I bargained for. And then I started to cry less at it. But then my nephew was born, and his name's Jackson. And so now when I see those scenes and I picture his mom dying, then I just cry even more. Does she know you picture that? Well, no. But I picture it in a bad way.

Oh, no. Steel Magnolias with your fourth pick. Yeah. Unimpeachable. Thank you. Where will you take us with your final pick? Okay. It's really hard to get out of this era, but, you know, that's what we're doing.

I'm so bummed right now. My girl. Oh, you asshole. He can't see without his glasses. Oh, God. Mood ring. Veda Saltenfuss. Veda Saltenfuss Veda Saltenfuss

another great cast Dan Aykroyd like oh it's just Dan Aykroyd the uncle also Macaulay Culkin yeah Macaulay Culkin doing drama at the time was like okay this kid's got it their whole just being in love as a little kid and like really thinking that you're in love.

Yes. Even though it's absurd because you're eight. But it is real. And then, yeah, same thing. I would like picture my crushes dying. I picture the worst case scenario a lot of the time just to make myself cry. I had such a big crush on Anna Cholomsky back then. You're not the only one. I still kind of have one. Still on's fantastic you know who looks a lot like her huh have you met caitlin gill's girlfriend yeah she does she

is a chlumsky for sure it's a chlumsky dead ringer for a chlumsky chlumsky sounds like about the least flattering thing you can say it really is like sounds like what somebody Chlumsky sounds like about the least flattering thing you can say about it. It really is. It sounds like what somebody from Pittsburgh calls it. These fucking Chlumskys. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I like that, my girl, because as a kid, she's very preternatural. Preternatural. I can't even say that word.

Preternatural. Thirder. But it still works. I'm working it out. I'm learning how to speak. But as a kid kid you watch that movie and get it on one level and then as adult you see it kind of on a completely different level and she still works as that character like as an adult you're not like well this kid's kind of she's

very inquisitive i don't know they just wrote that character yeah yeah yeah who are like yeah like very like seem advanced for their age right or like very focused in one like one passion i feel like mine i saw that in the theater with my brothers and my parents were like you go see this movie and don't ruin it for everyone well like we were like they were like they didn't know much they were just like they wanted to finally have like a date night or whatever just yelling at you yeah well they were like well they went to see a different movie okay they were like don't ruin this it's got kids in it yeah so they were like oh it's like a cute kid movie right it's pre-internet you still looked up you know yeah you're like oh god remember when you

just like look at a newspaper it's the home alone kid that'll be the one yeah yeah yeah and then like i tricked i've been this person my whole life, I guess, because I bawled and my brothers were more stone faced than Mount Rushmore. They're like the older brother in terms of endearment. And the younger brothers. But I was a mess and they were just, you know, they called me a couple of words I would probably not like to say on a podcast. A couple of West Texas cheek kisses. West Texas cheek kisses. West Texas cheek kisses. Well, also that her dad

is like, has a funeral home. So she has this context for death, but doesn't think that it can happen to kids. And he's been hiding, like he won't let her know that there's like child-sized coffins, you know? Like he won't let her know that there's like child-sized coffins you know like he doesn't want her to know that yeah she doesn't yeah she she sees it but it's

never she's like around death yeah but then for her to really experience it with her best friend it's just too much and like the i just remember she had that crush right on that english teacher that they would go read poetry and that was like yeah when you're a kid if you had that crush, right, on that English teacher that they would go read poetry. And that was like, yeah, when you're a kid, if you had a crush on someone, you were just instantly like, yeah, whatever you do, that's what I also like to do. And you don't always see that it's inappropriate. Right. Like that someone so much older than you. Yeah. Like I guess we're in love.

He was married, right? And he was like fixing a house. Yeah. It was just like, oh, this eight year old is going to come over. I mean, she should have loved Thomas J jay because thomas jay loved her so much i am like i mean not that any of my steps are real like sunshine but these i felt like i felt like thomas jay a lot back in those days you know you can't do your standard goofy, upbeat comedy tonight. My slapstick physical comedy.

Leave the props at home. Shane identified with the bees in that movie. My girl. I've never tasted honey. It's not your pick, baby. Zach Nascani, it's time for your final pick. Final pick. This is tough. There's a lot on theascali, it's time for your final pick. Final pick. This is tough.

There's a lot on the board here, but I'm just going to go. This is a very, very dude-heavy pick. A very goofy movie. The Warrior. Oh. With Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton. It's just Warrior. Oh, that's like the first current- Oh, is it?

Okay, just Warrior then. Current pick that's come up. It is. I mean, aside from Marley Me, which is, I was wondering like how. Recent. Because it's so natural to go back to like your childhood or teenagehood. Yeah. Yeah.

This one is, I mean, it's amazing that that movie is good considering all the tropes that go into it. Well, it's, yeah. And I also, it's about, so it's about two MMA fighters and I don't like MMA. It's not something I particularly enjoy. But the movie is so good beyond that. And it's, I mean, yeah, it's just, oh, man. It has a lot of tropes that go along with it, but you just kind of like, it's not the best movie ever.

But, man, when it gets to that final scene it's a good cry it's not like fighting a brother right yeah and it's everybody they know it but of course but the world doesn't know it right yeah and they're fighting each other and the way that the fight because you're rooting for both of these brothers they both have give their backstory and you're like i want you want them both to win or they both both have, like, the same troubled childhood. Right. And one of them has PTSD. Right.

And it's just, and it's Tom Hardy who's never, like. And his backstory is kind of ridiculous. Shout out to Tom Hardy. His backstory is that he was in the military. He's a deserter. And he ripped a tank, a tank handle off. A door off a tank. He ripped a door off a tank and saved a bunch of people and then disappeared, went like

AWOL and then made it back to the States. Whoa. But I just don't know if that's even physically capable of ripping a door off a tank. Tom Hardy did it? I've done it. Tom Hardy can do it. Yeah, Tom Hardy could do that. Tom Hardy did it. Tom Hardy killed the Batman almost. But also Nick Nolte is

their alcoholic father. Nick Nolte as Nick Nolte. I don't buy it it he sounds like a tree frayer and a dryer the whole time he really does yeah but there's like his sobriety is like a recurring theme in the film like about how he's trying to have a relationship with his sons now that he is sober yeah and he like is always listening to these books on tape and and you know the scene I'm talking about in the hotel it's the fucking saddest thing ever because he relapses

and he's listening to the scene he's listening to books on tape in the passage where Ahab is chasing the whale and he's just like stop the god damn ship and he's just like he's crying and Tom Hardy hugs him and makes him go to sleep and he's just like he's crying and Tom Hardy like hugs him and makes him

go to sleep yeah oh Jesus yeah they all have like they all have fractured relationships with each other but it kind of plays out throughout the movie and yeah it's I mean it'd be a hard watch to get people to like sit down but it's yeah it'll and the

national is like yeah the song at the end the national yeah I gotta see this it's, yeah, it'll. And the national is like, yeah, the song at the end, the national, yeah. I got to see this. It's also dude hunky. There's a lot of good looking shirtless shots for you, Amy. Thank you, Shane. Yeah, it is a hunky movie. It is.

You know my motivation. It's a great dude movie, too. It is. We were at, Matt Bronger got a house up in wine country and had a few of us up there just to celebrate his birthday. Lovely weekend. Yes. And we were out wine tasting. So we were all into our cups a little bit.

And then we were back at the house and like we've been watching the Olympics. And then I know he was like, let's watch Warrior. That's how it starts. One person just says it. And then I think a couple of the women who were there went to bed. And then a bunch of us just watched warrior got emotional sean said he watched it on a plane oh no oh and uh he said the guy next to him was like after he got done watching he's like hey man what movie was that it looked really good it was it's warrior If Sean was drafting movies that made him cry, it would just be every movie.

I think he cries at every movie. It's so Buck. He's very soft. But we all are. Warrior. Excellent pick. Warrior. I can't believe that wasn't even on my list. Yeah, I'm surprised because I think you were the... Shane was the person to

introduce me to it. We watched it together. Now I'm going to take something me to it. We watched it together. Now I'm going to take something. I feel like I'm almost kind of playing myself here because I've given Shane so much shit for a similar pick.

But what I'm taking right now is anything watched on an airplane. Any movie watched on an airplane with my final pick because of the elevation and the any movie you watch on an airplane if there's even one moment that's even a little bit sad you will start fucking bawling you can't keep it in you can't keep it in it comes right out so i'm taking like any movie watched on an airplane i will never understand you yeah well i like so i like that i Yeah. Well, I like that.

That is so shitty of you to make a pick like that. What? Sampler platter could be anything. At least I'm introducing. Your condition is there's a plate involved. No, you just did sampler platter. No, this is not sampler platter. This is any movie watched on an airplane.

Then I pick any movie you watch on your period. You've completed your draft, but i will allow that as a sex pick i will allow that yeah i'm taking any movie watch on an airplane there's scientific reasons for it too the higher elevation makes you more emotionally imbalanced and you will cry yeah when i was on delta studio i remember the first time it happened i cried at the movie a man without a face i don't remember anything about it but i remember crying in an airplane that is a sad gibson yeah yeah i watched the bodyguard a few weeks ago on the plane and i was sobbing yep and i the tribe called quest documentary made me cry on the airplane that is sad yeah yeah i was wondering i mean i'll be saying that next week

every 30 for 30 every 30 and they make you cry too, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw Tribe Called Quest two weeks ago. They were great. Yeah, the 30 for 30s do really, some of them really kill me. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't believe you picked whatever is playing on a plane. Not whatever's playing. Whatever you watch on an airplane. Different. I don't know that I've ever cried on a plane. It's hard for me to cry

in front of... You've never cried on an airplane? Nobody's paying attention to anything. People are used to it. You can let it out up there. I'm not first class. I'm sitting coach. You think I'm sitting first class?

Look at me. Yeah, I don't know that I've cried on a plane. I've cried to like fucking Air Bud movies on airplanes. I cried. This isn't a movie exactly, to like fucking airbud movies on airplanes i cried this isn't a movie exactly but the opening credits of portlandia made me cry on an airplane from like new york to right that's not a movie it's not a movie that's not a movie at all i'm just saying a testament to the power of being in an airplane yeah made me cry just because i was like i'll never live there again like oh yeah i've

teared up like if i see a friend in a thing or they're showing stand-up and I'm like, I know him. Yeah. On an airplane? Yes. Sometimes you just have to bury your face into your hoodie. What is your move? Yeah.

Do you do the hoodie? If I'm crying on an airplane? Yeah. Just subtle face wipes. Oh, I don't hide it at all. Subtle face wipes and then onto the shirt. Amy rings the attendant button. Look at me!

More nuts! I just do it and I don't hide anything. It's a lot of factors too because usually you're like, maybe you've had a run of shows or you're on your way to one. You haven't been eating or drinking properly. You're dehydrated. You're tired. You're like a baby before bed.

Yeah, you really are. I need to be put to bed. That is kind of what you're like on an airplane. What's funny, okay, so now that you said that, I had to fly a lot as a kid because one of my parents lived in Cincinnati, the other one in Hawaii. It's a lot of flying.

But there was always a movie. I wouldn't watch it on the plane, but I would watch it before going to the airport. It was as good as it gets. Oh, that was on my list too. Yeah, that movie is fantastic. That makes me cry every time. Something was soothing about that movie

where it was like, okay, I can now get on a plane. This is so weird. That's the movie that I've seen the most in the theater more than I saw five times in high school. Wow. We were the same person. we should get along better based on our histories never I love that movie was that the last one?

that's my last pick Shane's got one more it's comedy show time anything you watch on an airplane could make you cry. Shane Torres. That is a bullshit. It's time for your probably pretty basic on the heels of my amazing transcendent pick. Rudy 2.

Back to the minors. Whatever's playing on my phone on a mega bus. Fucking asshole. I'm so. I feel like later you're going to be like. When no one's around, you're just going to be like, I love you. And just like to be like, tell me you did that for me. But it's, I know that's not. You mean to just sort of take a bullet.

So I'm here with you on the sample. Yeah. No, I still think sample is a terrible pick. Yeah. Well, you know what? A lot of people think you're a fucking idiot. They didn't. No, no, no, no.

No. Okay. Well, well, that's probably true fucking idiot. They didn't. No. No, no, no. No? Okay. Well. Well, that's probably true, actually. But not because of that. When they hear this, they will. Okay.

I think they'll agree with me. I hate you. Forrest Gump. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. I almost picked that instead of my transcendence. I said today, if anyone in that room picks Forrest Gump, they are no longer my friend. I said those words out loud. Somebody's being a Forrest Gump.

I'm glad you and Zach got so close now. Because I don't get, I'm not taking shit for this anymore. This is fucking insane. That movie sucks. Shane Tuck. First of all, it doesn't suck. Forrest Gump, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, and southwestern egg rolls. How is Forrest Gump a bandit?

I like it. I'm with you. Explain your position. Did you think Gary Sinise really didn't have no legs? Lieutenant, damn! You ever been on a shrimp and butter? I am not a smart man, Jenna. That movie sucks.

It doesn't. A smart man, Jene. That movie sucks. Which part specifically makes you cry? When his mom dies. Okay. Sally Field. Comes home to his mom.

Sally Field again. Yeah. Also, Tom Hanks, two people in high regard. How is this? Fundamentally, that's a great pick considering what everybody has already said on this podcast are you mad at me i'm mad at all of you what did i do you know exactly what you did i'm with you what did i do car horn yeah trumpet the joke is trumpet um because i have a melodicness to my voice yeah you're just you're just like miles davis maybe two notes and mine can transcend do you cry when he's always standing next to dead famous people because you miss them it's john

landon i'm not a person who does that uh i'll tell you what is an emotionally wrenching moment in that is when he does go to meet uh jenny before she passes away and he meets the and the kid and he's like is he smart or whatever oh yeah you know oh yeah because he's so worried that like he's passed on like his mental shortcomings or whatever to his kid and the kid's like real smart hailey joe osmond hailey joe osmond watching like sesame street or whatever it is you used to show a kid is smart big bird when he's like really relieved when his best friend friend dies in Vietnam, when Bubba dies. Oh, Bubba, yeah. Yeah.

I gotta find Bubba. He sings it. It's a musical. Oh, Forrest Gump, the musical. I gotta find Bubba. You know life is like a box of chocolate. It's a real dance. Does it make you cry when you remember that a whole chain restaurant

came from that shitty movie? Well, Tyra Banks just followed me on Twitter. Thank you for being present. Cool. Tyra Banks just followed me on Twitter. That's better than your last pic. It's the one thing that's better than your last pick um yeah it's just like it's the one thing that's better than my last pick we gotta leave this place it's uh it's like a there's sad scenes

it's great but it also has the thing of it releases the tension with last again yeah it's fantastic i don't know you think that movie sucks movie sucks. No. I haven't seen it in forever. And the name sucks. Gump. Forrest Gump. That's almost as bad as Ness. What was that guy's name? Fess Chandler.

Oh, Fess whatever. Fess Parker? Yeah. They almost called it Fess Parker and they settled on Forrest Gump. I hate you. Aren't we all like a leaf caught on the wind? Live is live. Can you do me a favor and look up real quick

what Forrest Gump did at the box office and what kind of Oscars it won? I mean, it may have a lot of... What kind of Oscars? It won bad Oscars. It did win. I think that was when Tom Hanks went back-to-back with Forrest Gump in Philadelphia. Back-to-back.

Yeah. It's incredible. It's box office, as though that were admissible. It cost $55 million to make. It made $678 million. Okay. Double Schindler's List. Massively profitable.

Yeah. Well, they would have been brave enough to send Forrest Gump to Dachau, maybe the movie would have been taken a little more seriously. Hey, why aren't I getting food? It's him next to Hitler just likes the cut of his jib. I'm going to check the Rotten Tomatoes score while I'm at it. Because all of these are measurements for how good your shit is everybody else is stuffing it

how can I pick it podcast listeners are now listening to Shane going on to his phone it's not just you I was going to write off anybody who picked it Tom Hanks won best actor Robert Zemeckis won best director it won best film editing

it won best picture it won best visual. It won best film editing. It won best picture. It won best visual effects. I'll give it editing and visual effects. And best adapted screenplay. You don't have to give it to them. They got it from the Academy. I'll decide. Yeah, so what is that, seven Oscars?

Can't spell Academy without Amy. Six. Think about it. Six Oscars, but no Amys. 8.8 on IMDb, 72% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, that's a C-. 95% of Google users like it. Just because it's the only grade you ever got doesn't mean it's good.

Bing users love it, guys. Did you like it? Bing users say this is the best movie ever made. I'm just saying. God damn it. There seems to be a critical split. 72% Rotten Tomatoes, 95% audience rating. They think it's overly sentimental with a problematic message, which is retarded people don't get AIDS. I think it's more problematic that Jenny just automatically gets AIDS because she's a

loose woman. Read the review of that. That could be like... I don't know why I even listen to this podcast. This is so... I like that movie. I was with you. I thought it was good. Stupid is as stupid does, baby.

I see that. And nothing stupid about picking Forrest Gump. We left some good movies on the board. We sure did. We did. Up was one of them. Yeah. Absolutely.

At least the first 10 minutes of the movie, Up. Toy Story 3 got left on the board. Yeah. Rocky. Here's a tearjerker. Rocky, sure. Oh, Rocky. Plane, Trains, and Automobiles.

Yeah. Oh, talk about endings that are just... Oh, yeah. That's what the quick thing is like. Okay. Yeah, like that's how it feels. You realize that was on the board still. Yeah, I never saw it on a plane, though.

I would have cried if I saw it on a plane. Saving Mr. Banks. Oh, Saving Mr. Banks, really? I haven't seen it. Dead Poets Society. I had Dead Poets Society on the list. Milk. Milk, for sure.

League of Their Own. Oh, that's a good one. And The Road. What about Field of Dreams? Field of Dreams. Oh, yeah. Dad stuff. You want to have a catch to it?

Street Story, Life is Beautiful, Finding Neverland. Life is Beautiful is good, yeah. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Oh, shit. Yeah. Ghost. Ghost, sure. Oh, yeah.

Single Tier. The Goldberg. Cool Runnings. Whooping It Up. Cool Runnings. Stand By Me. How to Die in Oregon. Stand single tear. With the Goldberg. Cool Runnings. Whooping it up. Cool Runnings. Stand By Me. How to Die in Oregon. Stand By Me.

That documentary? Yeah. Yeah, that's a harsh one. Beaches. Yeah. How to Die in Oregon was made about the first four years of your stand-up career, right? Outside Room. outside room it's times like this I remember why I moved to New York instead of Los Angeles

in honor of Shane Torres we ran the light and went a little long today thank you for listening to all oh we need to go over the groups again Amy you picked first and went homeward bound Good Will Hunting, Terms of Endearment Steel Magnolias and My Girl we need to go over the groups again amy you picked first and went homeward bound goodwill hunting terms of endearment steel magnolias and my girl zach tuscani you went marley and me mr holland's happy gilmore cry laughing little miss sunshine and then warrior ian carmel started with philadelphia and then schindler's list and then big fish and then the land before time and then anything you watch on an airplane so amazing shane you picked rudy old yeller click you said so shitty a couple seconds early

click the adam sandler movie click i just want to just make clear for the listeners there wasn't a second movie called click whatever you watch about like maybe like someone on death row whatever you watch on an airplane it's like hey here's some failed nbc sitcoms i'm gonna cry at start the waterworks baby yeah friday night lights and then forest gump bad i feel like i feel like you should put up a poll for this one. We will definitely put up a poll for this one. I will say all of our lists are very white. Oh, yeah. I thought about Boys in the Hood. I almost picked Fruitvale Station. Fruitvale Station, that's a great one.

Selma was really colorful. I remember when I walked you through the BART station and told you the story of what happened. At Fruitvale? Yeah. Oh, wow. That was a fun one. We reenacted it. Later, I got in a fight with Deirdre on the way up. On the way back home, remember? That's right. Because Amy had to stop and do work at a Taco Bell.

Not anymore. God, I miss having a job. I miss Taco Bell. That has been this week's All Fantasy Everything. Thank you for listening, and make sure you tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Do you want to say shaklackity, Shane? No, I want to leave.

Shaklackity! He said it! that was a hate gun podcast