All Fantasy Everything - One Hit Wonders (w/ Miel Bredouw, David Gborie and Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: April 13, 2017AFE goes VH1 - we're drafting One Hit Wonders! Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Miel Bredouw, David Gborie and Sean Jordan. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californ...ia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
The podcast that looks at the world, takes an airplane high up into the sky so it can really get a scope of things, see the curvature of the earth.
Shout out to Kyrie Irving, you know, jumps out of that plane without a parachute. And as it's throttling towards the surface of the earth, beholds all before it and says,
hey, what if before I slammed into that earth and expired, we drafted a couple of those
things I see down there.
Hell yeah.
Right?
Hell yeah.
I got motherfucking goosebumps.
Hell yeah.
Yes.
Amen.
That's what the podcast is.
That's what we're doing here.
This is all fantasy everything, ladies and gentlemen.
And today.
It's not a different podcast.
It's not.
It's the one you were just talking about.
This is WTF with Marc Maron.
I killed him wearing his skin.
As you hear these words.
It doesn't fit.
It does not fit.
What if you just wore it like, you know how people wear like a fox shawl?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if you just wore him around your neck? T people wear like a fox shawl? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if you just wore him around your neck?
Tied over the shoulders?
Yeah.
Carlton Banks style.
Like a cardigan.
Like a loose cardigan.
Speaking of false, real quick, did you hear about this?
Friend of the show, Shane Torres, last night did Whiplash.
He did Whiplash.
Louis C.K. dropped in before him.
So then they were going to bring Shane up.
But they go, ladies and gentlemen, your next comic, Chris Rock.
And then everybody was so pissed off that it wasn't Chris Rock.
And then Shane had to straight up walk out.
And they were in the mindset like, shit, maybe Chris Rock's here.
That sucks, man.
Because at that point, Louis C.K.'s walked out and anything is possible.
Yeah, they're like all hyped.
That's like going on a dope ride at Disneyland.
And then there's another line that says, even doper ride. And it's the bathroom. It's comedy blue balls. That's like going on like a dope ride at Disneyland. And then there's like another line that says like even doper ride.
It's the bathroom.
It's comedy blue balls.
That's fucked up.
It was just hilarious to me to read that.
Totally comparable.
I love that though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was it Shane's idea?
I have no idea.
Somebody texted it to me.
It might have been texted to us earlier.
I just didn't think of it.
I think it was Toscani did.
Yeah.
But yeah.
I hope he's in on it.
Fuck.
I hope he will.
Yeah.
It'd be a deep hole but he likes walls
uh today we are joined we are joined by uh you you you hear him right there sean jordan david
borre hey uh at the g is silent and sean s jordan on twitter yeah these are anything anything to
promote sean anything anything coming up uh the bridgetown Comedy Festival. Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
We're going to do a live one of these.
We're doing a live, the very first, live all fantasy everything at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival.
We don't know when yet, but you don't know when yet.
I don't know either.
We're going to do a live one of the day after.
But during the festival.
So between May 4th and May 7th.
In what city?
In Portland, Oregon.
Oh, nice.
Land of ports.
Pacific Northwest.
Aren't you from there?
I am.
I'm from Portland, Oregon.
This may come as a surprise to our listeners.
The Rose City.
David Borey, anything coming up?
Speaking of PDX, I am headlining the Hollywood Theater on May 26th.
What?
Hell yeah.
Memorial Day weekend.
What?
Memorial Day weekend. Yeah. Is that Memorial Day weekend? I think so. What? Hell yeah. Memorial Day weekend. What? Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah, is that Memorial Day weekend?
I think so.
I'm not positive.
You used to have to talk to us if you wanted to do that.
I got to pull up my calendar.
You used to have to talk to Ian Carmel, Shane Torres, and Sean Jordan if you wanted to.
Yeah, if I wanted to hit funny over everything.
Ian Carmel, Sean Jordan, or Chris Rock.
You had to talk to one of us.
Christopher Rock.
May 26th.
I'll be in London, but otherwise I would be there.
Cool brag.
I would swear to God I would fly up.
What a cool, low-key brag.
I'll be in London serving a prison sentence.
It's a monkey paw situation.
Sean Jordan's going to be there, though.
Are you going to go?
I believe so.
You better fucking go.
I believe I'll just be there.
I'll be there for a couple weeks.
Hotel party.
Don't tell the contract people.
Don't tell the hotel.
Crown Plaza party.
After the party, it's the after party.
After the after party, it's the hotel lobby.
Then after the lobby, it's probably Chris.
And after the original, it's probably this.
It's probably this, right?
Probably.
It turned out not to be this.
It wasn't this.
It wasn't.
It was actually a cell.
It was this and that
and this and that.
In the Multnomah County Jail.
Too real.
That other voice you hear,
returning,
I don't know,
champion,
I'll put it on you.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Miel Bredo.
Hi.
In the house,
at Miel,
M-I-E-L.
That's me.
On Twitter.
Yeah.
What do you got coming up?
Some stuff I can't
Talk about
Oh
So you know
Cool
Very cool things
That is cool
Yeah yeah yeah
But
But we should all be excited for you
Yeah
Very good
And I also don't have to tell you anything
Oh yeah that's awesome
So just believe me
Oh I like that
Yeah
Oh there it is
Yeah
The album could drop any minute
Oh any second now
Yeah
That's why you gotta follow me
On Twitter On Twitter By the time The news may have broke the album could drop any minute oh any second now that's why you gotta follow me on Twitter
on Twitter
by the time
the news may have broke
give that New York
Times subscription
by air time
yeah
how have you been doing
it's been a couple months
since you've last been
on the podcast
how did appearing
on All Fantasy Everything
change your life
for the better
it did change my life
for the better
I thought a lot about
Famous Animals
every time I thought
of a new one
I was like fuck
I wish I had drafted that one.
There's so many famous animals.
There are so many.
On our previous podcast,
David told us about a famous animal.
It's a chimpanzee that rips the arms off of people.
In real life?
Yeah, and now he lives with the other ones.
Oh, they didn't kill him?
No, he escaped.
What?
And then he lives, yeah, with the other chimpanzees.
Presumably teaching them how to tear people's
arms off. Yeah, they crowned him king.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, he's like, did you see what I just did to that
man? Did he have a motive?
Just man's
cruelty. Yeah.
He threw rocks at me and my mom, so he's obviously not
Wait, you've met him?
How much do you meet a chimpanzee?
Fair enough.
We've been in proximity.
Okay, wow.
I heard they're filming a documentary pretty far away from them, but filming a documentary.
About chimpanzees?
Because they ripped their arms off as a joke.
Oh, I missed it.
It's going to be far away.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't a good joke.
No, that's cool, man.
That's all right, man.
That was the first draft.
Yeah.
All right.
Speaking of drafts, we should return.
Are you drafting bad jokes this month?
Yeah.
That's my first draft of a bad joke today
we are right now that joke was not a hit but we are drafting
today so they'd be far away because they don't want to get their arms ripped off
uh-huh no i mean yeah keep going everyone's laughing jokes the more you have to explain
them traditionally jokes the better they are. Yeah, like a documentary.
Like a doc.
Oh, documentary.
Yeah.
Okay.
That was the confusion the whole time.
I thought you were talking about doctors.
Yeah, doctors.
I was like, what?
Like Dr. Doolittle starring Eddie Murphy.
I'll dumb it down for the rest of the show.
Please do.
Chantel Jordan, Mio Bredo, David Borey.
We are drafting
one-hit wonders today.
And to determine
the order of this draft,
the three of you
have to play
rock, paper, scissors.
Sure.
Now, if you each
get a different thing,
we'll have to throw it again.
If you each get the same thing,
we'll have to do it again.
But if two of you match up
and the third doesn't,
that's the winner.
And it's on shoot.
All right, here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Oh!
Chantel with the scissors! This is how we glue it. It's, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh. Sean Jordan with the scissors.
This is how we glue him.
It's Neil and David's paper.
Okay.
Which means, Sean Jordan, you get to pick the order of the draft.
We both got paper, though, so.
We're pretty good.
I think that counts for something.
I got paper.
Just saying.
Yeah, I mean, I got some scissors.
I can like coupons because I don't have the paper you guys have, but I'll save money.
Spend more paper.
And I didn't throw because I'm a benevolent dictator.
We're just going to go...
What kind of draft is it?
It's a serpentine draft.
It's serpentine, so you go with sort of like a snake.
Great point, David.
It's a serpentine draft.
Serpentine.
Miel, we were talking earlier.
You remember that it was a serpentine draft.
Yes, I love snakes.
Like a snake.
Miel's a huge snake. Very big
fan of snakes. Here's how we're doing.
David, you're first, and then we're going clockwise.
Great. Explain that, because I
don't remember how clockwise works. Who's next?
I'm next. Perfect. Ian. Oh, then me.
Oh, that's wonderful. David, Sean.
That was sarcasm. Ian, Carmel,
and then Miel's going last, but then also
first in the second round. Because it's a
serpent team. It's fine. So it's Because it's a serpentine. It's fine.
So it's like it's going to come back.
It's fine.
Just know that if mine gets chosen in the first round, your head will roll.
I'm just saying.
Damn. She does.
You can't tell because this is a podcast.
She has a hybrid.
A hybrid?
A hybrid?
I'm trying to remember what that word is.
Katana.
Katana.
What'd you call it?
What was the first?
She has a Prius. She has a Prius What was the first? She has a Prius.
She has a Prius.
I'm sorry.
She has a Prius. She's going to hit my body with a machete in the truck.
With a machete in the truck.
I was trying to go back to a reference from the computer game Ultima Online that I played for a while.
Too deep.
I couldn't get there.
You're in too deep.
You're in the fourth dimension.
I'm deep in the five.
I might be fit.
He's in the 4XD.
I'm in the 4XD.
How was Ghost in the Shell, by the way? Was that on air or off air? I don't even know. I'm deep in the five. I might be fit. He's in the 4XD. I'm in the 4XD. How was Ghost in the Shell, by the way?
Was that on air or off air?
I don't even know.
You saw it.
It was off air.
Off air.
You saw it.
David saw Ghost in the Shell.
Yeah, I saw Ghost in the Shell at 4XD.
I don't even know how the movie was because I was getting my mind fucking blown by 4XD.
And literally blown by wind behind you.
Literally wind blowing.
There's a button that says if you want water to splash in your face.
What?
There's a water button.
Of course I hate it.
I'm living.
My man.
There's a little button where you can hear the studio executives talking about whether
or not they should cast an Asian in that traditional Asian role.
They did the worst way of explaining it.
Because I've seen the movie.
Yeah.
And she was just like, I think that her, so the ghost in the shell the actual person was asian yeah but the
shell was white is how they made it of course that's how they covered their brilliant tracks
the weird part was there was a ton of asian people in it yeah yeah but not the lead yeah
why don't you just throw it to a japanese just shift it just shift all the roles one spot
yeah but she's like a computer scientist.
Yeah.
But either way, it was incredible.
It was so good.
We're not going to solve that problem here today
on this podcast.
Not racism.
No, I thought we were.
We are at the second half after the ad break.
Squarespace, we will solve racism.
Squarespace.
For $10 a month.
David Bore, you have the first pick.
In the all fantasy everything one hit wonder draft, I am excited.
This is so hard.
Let me tell you, I really hoped I was going first because I'm about to blow some fucking minds.
Okay.
My first choice, the Star Spangled Banner.
What?
God damn it.
Why?
Who is this kid? Who is this kid?
Who is this kid?
Where's he from?
Where's he from?
Well, now we have to pick a different topic.
I got so stoked I fucked up the levels.
Marvin Barry?
Damn.
David.
Why?
Why?
I just changed the whole game.
You changed the whole game.
I'm that new shit.
Damn.
They call me Mr. 2018.
Damn, dude.
Mr. 1776.
Yeah.
Stars and Stripes.
What was the name?
Who wrote it?
Francis Scott Key.
What did he have to?
He was an amateur poet.
He was a lawyer.
Yeah, he didn't even make songs like that.
That's his only hit.
Wasn't he laying up against the wall while Fort Sumter was being bombed?
Yeah, some shit like that.
He was like, I think I'm going to die tonight.
Let me write an anthem.
Let me write this poem about America.
You know how we get there is because you drafted eggs when it was chicken,
so David's over there being mad creative.
I make it move.
You set the bar way too high.
It was crazy.
I was like, man, when I thought of it today, I was like, yo, you might be the coldest dude
alive.
At what time did you think of that?
Probably like 30 minutes before you got to me.
God.
Oh, my God.
I yelled so loud that Marissa, our producer, had to like throw buckets of water on the
computer to keep it from catching on fire.
There was a whole panic going on on the other side of the room.
Oh my God.
I almost fell off the couch.
What is it you love
about the Star Spangled Banner?
I mean, it's an irrefutably dope song.
What about freedom?
Yeah, I love that.
What about...
The range, the range though is...
What about the fight against the man?
What's your favorite version
of the Star Spangled Banner?
The not racist one.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So just end it after the first verse.
Yeah, I mean, actually,
I'm a big O'Canada guy, too.
O'Canada's a dope song, but I couldn't tell you who wrote it.
Yeah.
Don't blow your second choice.
Marvin Gaye doing that at the NBA All-Star Game in, like, I think 1983.
That is a dope Star Spangled Banner.
Oh, man.
Can you sing it for us or no?
Jimi Hendrix.
Oh, say, can you see?
Something like that.
That's good. I can't eat that. I can feel the soul. But it's got, like, a real sexy sort of Something like that. That's good.
I can feel the soul.
It's got like a real sexy sort of like low-key drum.
Somebody just taking a drum for a walk.
You know what I mean?
It is about the only song that gives me goosebumps every time.
Every time.
Every single time.
Even like when we were at the game the other day.
What did you say about that girl taking it on a walk at the end?
She did take it for a walk.
She played jazz with the last note.
You said she shouldn't be bouncing on the handlebars so much at the end. I like when people bounce on the handlebars a walk at the end she did take it for a walk she played jazz with the last note you said she shouldn't be bouncing on the handlebars so much at the end i don't like when
people bounce on the handlebars too much at the end bounce the whole way yeah yeah if you're gonna
bounce you bounce from start to finish exactly don't just catch that last flex in the mirror
i hate i hate the end one where it's like oh let me show you how it can really because that's when
people know they're not gonna fuck up they're like they nailed the song and they're like, all right, I got the last line wired.
Now I can fucking take that walk.
Yeah, it's like the last yard before the touchdown where they're like, right out.
That's when they did it.
Dance the last 15 yards in.
Excellent point.
Yeah.
That's why that song gets me so jacked is because of football.
Yeah.
Like, I'd just be in high school and just like.
I thought it was because of our nation.
A lot of things.
He said football.
Football, our nation.
Football nation. A lot of things. He said football. Football, our nation. Football nation.
But they would play that song before games,
and I'd just be so jacked because I don't handle emotion well.
So I'd just be standing there shaking,
and then as soon as it would end,
I would always stay next to my friend Sam Talent,
friend of the program.
Shout out.
And right before, Sam's such an asshole,
right before it would end, he would go,
let's go Cardinals! And I'd fucking lose my mind. And right before Sam such an asshole right before it would end he would go
Dude I eat those foot that football energy I used to blow it too cuz you get so amped you don't even know what to do
Then it would be like calm for like minutes and there'd be a kickoff and you'd be like
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to save it for like first team defense and then you're like, okay. I'm putting it in the mail.
Three checks.
We used to take a Fedron before football games.
Really?
Yeah.
I think we were in the last era of that.
Before that.
Before you could do that.
That's like yellow jackets and shit, right?
Yeah, like hyper yellow jackets.
We used to take a Fedra and just get super.
And I took them before a game against our rival once and
was just like pouring
sweat before the game
why would you want to
do that
I think I took too
much because you
want to get all
jacked up
you want to get
jacked so you can
wire
just listen to the
Star Spangled Banner
a couple times
we only played it
once is the problem
I should have put it
on a mix
that's all a Fedra is
is like the Star
Spangled Banner in
pill form
but just the part
on the feet just that part, I'm not free.
Just that part over and over and over again.
It's called getting Francis Scott keyed up.
You dickhead.
I don't think we could top that.
You made it to the winner's moving Francis Scott key loves, man.
To the winner's circle. Moving friends with Scott Kelo's man.
We went.
So it was the, I think it was one of the first NBA games of the, something after Trump was elected.
Were you, did you go with me?
No, it was Mike Malloy.
Shout out to your friend of the program, Mike Malloy.
You guys were both.
Yeah, anyway.
We went to the, we went to the, we went to the game, brought Mike.
Great time.
But it was the first basketball game after Donald Trump was elected.
And in my head, I'm like, maybe you'll sit down for the national anthem.
Maybe you won't stand up for it.
You'll make a statement.
Maybe.
You know, that's what I was thinking in my head.
And then we're sitting there, and it's Sikh night, S-I-K-H, at Staples Center.
And so a bunch of Sikhs come out
holding different flags
and a Sikh singer.
So I'm like,
I can't sit down.
Yeah.
Because then I was going to look like
I'm protesting the Sikhs.
And that's the opposite
of the message
I want to be spreading.
And I kind of think,
I mean,
it would have been
had to planned
months beforehand,
but part of me was like,
these conniving LA Clippers, Mother Parkers.
They knew.
They knew.
We're not going to have anybody in the seats for this.
Just in case.
You know, everyone's going to have to stand up.
I don't think I would have sat anyway, because I still love this country.
But I was having that debate in my head.
As soon as I walked out, I was like, well, you have to stand up.
Do you ever not cross your heart during it?
Are you supposed to cross your heart? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I never cross my heart. Oh, you have to stand up. Do you ever not cross your heart during it? Are you supposed to cross your heart?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I never cross my heart.
Take the hat off.
Oh, you're a bad boy.
I interlock my hands.
Do you take your hat off?
I do every time.
You interlock your hand, like in pair position?
Behind my...
I hold them like the Sound of Music style.
Like you're singing in a church choir.
I am 16 going on 17.
I give myself the predator handshake,
like where I just grasp the Allstate insurance logo.
Oh, yeah.
Like a fireman's carrier.
You're in safe hands.
I hold the blood gang signal up the whole time.
Yeah, just so they know
you're with the shit.
Red, white, and red.
People on either side of me, I just put my fingers in their mouth.
Because if they're true patriots, they can't do it.
And then I fish hook them and I go, look at the flag, both of you.
Sometimes when I'm watching the Star Spangled Banner at a game,
for some reason I look at it because on the Megatron,
they'll have a digital image of the flag.
And I stare at that one instead.
When my mom got sworn in as a citizen,
they play a video and they're playing the star spangled
banner but it's got like the eagle graphics and like swooping over fucking uh like grain fields
and stuff wow it's one of the best things i've ever seen that's kind of rude of them to reserve
that only for that scenario like i would like it's the only time i've seen that video right
it's just because we were born here we're not allowed to see this feels a little oppressive
isn't that what they used to play, like, when channels shut off for the night?
Something like that?
Yeah, back in 1974.
What are you talking about?
What year is it?
They play Girls Gone Wild commercials.
Yeah, I'm 47.
No, I mean, back when they used to shut off and channels would just go off air.
Oh, do they play this?
Is that what they play?
Something like that.
They would play the national anthem.
Yeah, and then go to, like, that weird, the test pad.
Yeah, like that Gremlins screen.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe I'm too young for that.
I don't remember that.
You might be.
You are the youngest person in this room.
Miel is 14.
I am, yeah.
I just turned 14.
She just turned 14.
Sorry.
I'm a prodigy.
We met at her bat mitzvah
where David, Sean, and I were invited
to do an all fantasy everything live. Live. We do bat mitzvah where david sean and i were uh invited to do a all fantasy everything live live
and for we do for smears for smears everyone else is very polite in this room they're not
saying anything if anybody's listening and they want us to bless the bat mitzvah
uh star spangled banner excellent pick
the rest of my picks aren't like sean j. Sean Jordan, it's hard to follow it up.
I know.
It's accessible to follow it up.
You screwed yourself.
You chose this.
I know, I know.
As soon as you said me, I was like, I'm going to set this shit up.
Here we go.
And beforehand, I was like, I'm going first no matter what.
If I would have gone first, I wouldn't be in this spot.
You're basically playing O Canada, the hockey game.
I know.
Like LA plays like a Canadian team.
Boy, this really wrecked my first.
I don't.
Was that also
your first pick?
Yeah, that was my
first pick.
I think all of us
were going to pick it first.
Yeah, of course.
We're patriots.
Yeah, we all love it here.
Fuck, man.
All right.
Okay.
I'm going to go
This is How We Do It
Montel Jordan.
Is that because it wrecked?
It's not the
Star Spangled Banner.
No, it's not.
But it was my
Star Spangled Banner growing up it was my Star Spangled Banner
growing up in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Oh, and that first line.
This is how we do it.
You're not going to not
pop off wherever you are when that comes on.
You're 100% right.
It came out in... It's an immediate pop-off.
Oh, incredibly.
I have one more written down.
Montel Jordan, 1995.
So when I walked into middle school, they would say all they said Oh, incredibly. Well, here it is. I have them all written down. Montel Jordan, 1995. Ninety-something. Oh, 95.
So when I walked into middle school, they would say all they said was 5'6", he stood.
But, you know, then I kept growing.
Oh, yeah.
Some people thought the music that he made was good.
Yeah, yeah.
I just love that song.
How tall is Montel Jordan?
He's like 6'9", right?
He's so tall that it looks weird when he dances.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
He looks like he's not supposed to dance.
When he has one of those vests on, like those cross-colored vests,
and you're like, it's not for you, man. It's not for you.
It's not for a 6'8 guy. It's dangerous at that height.
What do you put in there? You can keep bases
in there from a baseball diamond. You really shouldn't
rock a vest if your height has a 6
in it. Yeah.
This dude Cecil from... It looks like it's 5'6".
You can do it at 5'6".
That's a proper vest height.
That comes with... You got three vests.
That's the core layer. You got p Oh, then you have to. That's a proper vest size. That comes with, you got three vests. That's the core layer.
You got puffy,
formal, and leather.
Yeah.
Those are the three vests.
You're right.
A bulletproof.
You can get away
with no shirt
under all those.
Even bulletproof,
50 cent, did it?
You can't wear
a puffy vest
with no shirt.
You look like an idiot.
Your boy Rough Ends
were doing it
back in the day.
Some people can't
compare ourselves to the Rough Ends were doing it back in the day. Some people can't. We can't compare ourselves
to the Rough Ends.
You can wear one
if you also have an ATV.
If you have,
I feel like if I'm gonna,
because the thing is
if I'm gonna have no shirt
under the puffy vest,
then I'm gonna have
one pant leg pushed up.
I saw Big Sean do it
at Bumbershoot
like five years ago.
You're talking about
these people
that we should not
model ourselves after.
Big Sean?
Now that I think about it,
I have a photo saved to
my phone of me at nine years old
wearing a puffy vest with no shirt on.
Really? Swear to God. That's that Orcas
Island shit. And I was quite overweight
as well. You were a little fat girl with a
vest and no shirt on? Why do you think I'm
funny? Like, come on.
Have you seen me? I thought it was because you were ugly and stupid.
No, I'm sorry.
I don't know if we're good enough friends for me to make that joke.
I feel like we are.
Honestly, we're not, and I'm going to go.
I know.
The huge smile on your face when you said that.
I like to think that I killed that look, but I think that look might have killed me.
I don't know.
I've taken a lot of people down.
You know, because when you're overweight and you have the arm moment, that's not your favorite
part, maybe, and it's just laying flat on the puffy vest, which then just pushes it
out more.
Also, the puffy vest is so hot.
It's so hot.
And when you're nine and you have these weird little tits, but you don't know what to do
with them yet, and they're just kind of resting.
You're telling me, sister.
It was a rough look.
What was the impact
behind that look?
Yeah, who was the photographer?
Like, all right,
let's get the fucking rest of it.
Where were you also?
It's got to be like
pops or moms, right?
The photo is from
a community meeting
that I, for some reason,
was a part of.
That you went to
without your parents.
Wait, you were at the meeting
with no shirt under the vest?
No one knew.
It was zipped up, neck high.
Sure.
It was like a turtleneck one, too.
You had a zipped up
vest.
All the way, baby.
I don't know why I thought that.
And it was metallic silver,
like a Hershey's kiss.
Was it like a Nietzsche
or something?
What kind of vest
were we talking about?
I feel like it was probably
from the Gap
and it must have been like
circa that Macy Gray
I Try video
where like that metallic look
was very hot.
Oh, everybody was real shiny.
Shiny or clear. It was very cool. Oh, everybody was real shiny for that.
Shiny or clear.
Yeah, clear too.
Very Xenon girl, the 21st century.
That was me, dude. Yeah, I remember that.
Was that your vibe when you were a kid?
Oh, yeah.
When I started wearing clothes, that's what I wore,
but I did not wear clothes until like eight years old.
No shit?
Because you grew up on a very wild island in the Puget Sound.
And I was homeschooled for a lot of my childhood.
Are you from Friday Harbor?
Oh my God,
Friday Harbor's the island
across from mine.
I hate them,
but they're right next to me.
Yo, fuck them.
I got no loyalty.
Yeah, this is an anti-Friday Harbor podcast.
For real,
if you're from Friday Harbor,
like frankly, fuck you.
Fuck you.
Trash.
Sorry.
That's what I've always said.
Yo, go Vikings,
just saying.
You hear that?
And your football team,
the fighting pregnant team. Anyway, I got what I needed, said. Go Vikings, just saying. And your football team, the fighting pregnant team.
Anyway, I got what I needed, so thanks, guys.
This is how we do it.
It's such a good song.
Yeah, it's a bummer that he was a one-hit wonder.
How did he do that?
He had a couple other good songs.
He did.
He had Let's Get It On Tonight, Some for the Honeys.
And Let's Ride with Master P.
Yeah, but I don't think those were hits in my CD case.
Those got a lot of play in the 1994 Probe Cherry Red with the pop-up lights.
Oh, shit.
No big.
Okay.
Popping up on them.
It was like my car just opened its big beautiful eyes at you and then played something for the honeys.
Did it have the tiny little windshield wiper for each light?
No, God.
The mascara?
That was tight.
The mascara!
That was a good move.
He's tall as hell.
It's hard to be sexy.
You can be attractive,
but you can't be sexy
with your 6'9".
You're lanky and gawky
when you're that big.
That's a lot of torso.
Unless you're like
a giant basketball player.
You could go for that look.
Yeah, you could be a superhero.
Yeah.
I could do that.
NBA basketball players,
I think a lot
of them are sexy and good looking guys you know because they're but they're filled out they're
not like they're on the court they're fucking when they come off and you see them in person
it's just like what is this also i don't understand how they have sex with small women i don't need
it i don't understand how that shack and his wife how does it it work? It was insane. Do you want me to explain it to you? Yes. Even with knowing how tough and adaptable the vagina is,
I just don't understand the positioning of...
I don't understand a situation where he doesn't smother her.
It would hurt.
Just an arm falling on you.
Well, they're professional athletes.
They're controlled.
I know.
I'm just guessing here.
Yeah.
I'm not speaking from experience.
I have a feeling the girl does most of the work there.
That's probably true.
I think it has to be.
I don't think if you're at that status, you do anything other than just say, I'm going
to let you do this.
You're welcome.
Right.
That's a good call.
Plus, it's after practice.
Yeah, no.
They're not working out again.
They're done.
They burned their cows.
Yeah, they're good.
He is as tall as a tree.
You have to climb Shaq.
You do.
Yep. He just goes, as a tree. You have to climb Shaq. You do. Yep.
He just goes,
you like my custom toilet?
Flush a whole bushel of bananas.
How's my dick taste?
I wonder if that'd be fun.
That'll be an experience
I probably never have.
Just having sex with someone
who's like literally
four times bigger than you.
I just want to see you
hang off of their arm.
It's fun? It's fun. I bet it it would be fun i had a thing for a while
i was like he's under six five don't talk to me yeah yeah six five is that's so tall yeah i think
the tallest i did it was like six seven and how many men are that tall well when you're looking
for them when you got the best game like mailhead yeah find you. It's like when you drive a Ford Probe and then everybody's got a Ford Probe.
Yeah, you know.
You know what else?
That Ford Probe pussy.
About tall dudes?
Yeah, Probe.
Ford Probe and that pussy.
I used to drive a block to work
because I thought that whip was so dank
and I picked this girl up, Ashley Volker.
Friend of the show, Ashley Volker.
Big shout.
Big shout.
Picked her up and drove her home one day.
I just thought it was the shit.
What I was going to say about tall dudes is that it's not that sexy about ducking under
a doorframe.
Yeah.
When you got to walk into a room and you got to like duck under the doorframe.
Or the car.
A lot of cars.
You're just like, I can't fit in here.
I never hug tall dudes.
Hunt them.
Shout out Pap Johnson.
He goes for it, but I don't like that.
I wonder even who's the tallest dude I've hugged.
It's the worst.
I've hugged six, seven guys.
I'm kind of with you.
Mine's Blake Griffin. Tallest guy I've ever hugged is Blake Griffin. Oh, he's six, eight. Ten hugged? It's the worst. I've hugged six, seven guys. I'm kind of with you. Mine's Blake Griffin.
Tallest guy I've ever hugged is Blake Griffin.
Oh, he's six, ten, right?
Six, eight, six, nine?
Oh, I just Googled it and I already forgot.
I think he's seven.
No, he's not.
Is he not seven?
No, no.
Do you know how, anyone know how tall he is?
He's six, eight, six, nine.
It's all?
Yeah, he might be listening to six, ten, but he's not six, ten.
If Blake's listening, you know, DM me.
Let me know.
Blake does listen.
He's a big fan.
Shout out, Blake.
Blake listens to our podcast, and he
listens to
The Splendid Table from NPR.
Yeah.
You might listen. We don't know.
So this is how we
do it. This is how we do it. And what's left
to be said about it. It's just a great song. It just was
a good song. Big. It needs no explanation.
It's a big part of my life when I was a kid.
Yeah, no.
The country really rallies behind it in times of need.
It's a dance floor filler.
And so it's left to interpretation.
This is how we do it.
What is this?
What is this?
What is it?
I was in Costa Rica.
Yeah.
We were on this catamaran last night in Costa Rica, and the sun was setting.
That's the best sentence ever.
Yeah, what a cool brag.
I'm so happy for you. We were watching the sun go straight down.
And right when the sun dipped below the horizon, they kicked.
This is how they kicked it out of the ocean.
And I have a video of it.
But I was just like, get the fuck out of here.
Like screaming to all these strangers on the catamaran.
And then we had a night.
You swam into the ocean and just dove in and came up wearing the full pearl necklace?
Went and had sex with a dolphin that I saw right in front of me.
Yeah, it was good. It's the only way to top that. What? that sex with the dolphin that I saw right in front of me. Yeah, it was good.
It's the only way to top that.
What?
The sex with the dolphin.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
You ever had sex with the dolphin?
Put that pussy on the-
Had to be done.
Sarporpacus.
There you go.
Put that porpsy.
This is how we do it.
Excellent pick.
It is now time for me-
What do you got, dog?
To make my first pick.
And there's really only one thing
that I could pick,
which is What's Up
by the Four Non Blondes.
I was so close to picking that.
I was so close to picking it
for my first pick.
I actually thought
you were singing it.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
That has been...
25 years.
It's such a hit.
25 years, I'm a lapidus.
It's the song that no one likes and everyone loves.
Oh, everybody likes it.
I love it.
They would play it at bars in San Francisco sometimes,
and it would go...
That's what I'm saying, it goes,
but no one actually likes it.
That's what I'm saying, it goes.
I like it.
I think I like it unironically.
Do you really like it?
And I take a deep breath.
And I get real high.
But it's for the novelty, you know?
No, that's a good song.
No, I like it.
I enjoy the song.
I feel like we're going to talk about that a lot today.
Who has the badass haircut?
Yeah, they're all kind of steampunk.
Yeah, but like early steampunk.
Early, where it's like not annoying.
It wasn't called steampunk yet.
She looked so scary.
Like, she looked tough.
Yeah, now she would be perfect like Coachella.
Yeah, she wouldn't rule.
That song came out in 1992.
And the guy skateboarding on Haight Street?
Yeah, that San Francisco hit, baby.
Sing about weed?
It's a little bit of a karaoke no-brainer,
but it's still my favorite karaoke song.
What part's your favorite?
What part of the song?
To sing, yeah. All of it. I completely understand. but it's still my favorite karaoke song what part is your favorite what part of the song yeah all
of it i really i i completely i mean i gotta say i know for a fact he likes this i like it too but
like this isn't an ironic thing no no okay you know what might be my favorite part
mixes it up I like that part. I like throwing whatever my age is in.
You said it so seriously.
You know it'd be my favorite part.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I can tell you're doing karaoke.
Scream from the top of my lungs.
What's going on?
Where she says 25 years.
Yeah.
I am saying I've gone for, that has been 22 years all the way now through 32 years.
You say every year you do a year?
When I'm out there doing karaoke,
I want people to know. See, that's why I fuck with you, man.
You mix it up. You're like, I'm changing the lyrics.
32 years of my life is
But very minimally.
That'll suit me. The rest of them
go perfectly with everything I'm about.
That's just the one I have to choose. Does anyone
ever call you out for it? No. Those aren't the
words. No, no, no.
It's basically one of your journal entries, except you change the year. That's just a fun out for it? No. Those aren't the words. No, no, no. He said the wrong words. It's basically one of your journal entries,
except you change the year.
That's just a fun bit for you at karaoke.
And I cry.
And I do.
Oh my God, do I cry.
That's what I'm saying.
Everyone sings along to that song.
It goes so hard.
People love it.
It's a great song.
It's well done.
Oh, you want another part I like?
In the institution. I like that part. Yeah, she want another part I like? In the institution.
I like that part.
Yeah, she really throws it up at the end there.
Yeah.
Linda Perry from Four Non Blondes.
That is a one hit wonder, but she's like a big songwriter.
Yeah.
Really?
She knows what she's doing.
Yeah, the woman who-
What else did she write?
She's, let me look it up.
She's worked with Christina Aguilera for a while.
I remember that girl.
She wrote the main song from the movie Balto.
Yeah.
Oh, that's who we talked about the last time I was on this podcast.
We did talk about Balto last time.
Oh, I made that up.
Oh, shit.
Really?
Are you kidding?
That sounded so real.
I just like to keep everybody on their toes.
That was way too specific to sound right.
She's written songs for Jewel, Courtney Love, Gwen Stefani, Alicia Keys, Celine Dion.
Shit.
Linda Perry. Black with a Q. And she's the singer Alicia Keys, Celine Dion. Shit, Linda Perry.
Black with a Q.
And she's the singer in Four Non Blondes?
Black with a Q.
Black, she wrote for Black?
Yeah, Black.
So in a way, she's only a one-hit wonder for Four Non Blondes.
She's written for Solange.
Shit.
Yeah.
Get it, girl.
Fisher Spooner, whatever that is.
Fisher Spooner?
Come on.
Fisher Spooner's a great band.
She wrote songs for Fisher Spooner?
Yeah.
Enrique Iglesias?
Girl's got ring.
Okay. I have newfound
respect. I do have to readjust my idea
that that was a novelty song. Yeah, not at all.
No, that song is legit. That was just a
good-ass song. Wasn't followed up by a lot of other
Four Non Blondes good-ass songs. No.
I don't know any other songs.
Four Non Blondes, 142 non-hits.
You know what I mean? Not a lot of
hits, but the one. Burn.
Sick burn.
The sickest of burns.
If you're listening, Linda Perry. Linda Perry's doing fine.
It's the three other non-blondes.
That was such a sick burn that they're all blonde now.
They are.
Let's get Linda Perry on the show next time.
Future friend of the show.
It worked with Tiffany.
Tiffany's in. Putting that energy out there. It worked with Tiffany. Tiffany's in.
Putting that energy out there.
I'll tweet at Linda Perry right now.
Oh, no.
Tiffany tweeted back during the show.
No, she didn't.
Yeah, it was awesome.
She was on Twitter.
We did a divas.
Well, I don't want to drudge up old memories, but we did a divas draft.
It was the weirdest move I've made.
David picked Tiffany first.
Tiffany.
Isn't she kind of a one-hit wonder herself? What? Isn't she't she kind of a one-hit wonder herself?
What?
Isn't she a little bit of a one-hit wonder herself?
Yes.
Oh.
No, there was one other song, right?
But still, in the term of divas.
Yeah.
Not Celine.
I don't know, man.
I was-
No, yeah, you really blew it up.
She has 147,000 followers.
See?
I got 6,000.
No, that's not true.
I have less than that.
Oh.
I have a good life. I'm happy. But you're doing good, though. Yeah, you's not true. I have less than that. I have a good life.
I'm happy.
But you're doing good, though.
You don't need to.
And real Linda Perry, hey, big fan, hope everything is going great.
Nice.
Just innocuous, the kind of thing that can get maybe a-
You know what, because you're verified, she'll see it.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
I got to get that blue check.
You know what?
I'm going to apply to get verified.
If she doesn't, I'll bump it.
Bump it up.
I'll bump it.
You're verified and have way more followers than me. I'll bump it at the end. We'll see what happens. Miel Bredo, speaking of bump them up. Bump, I'll bump it. Bump it up. I'll bump it. You're verified and have way more followers than me.
I'll bump it at the end.
We'll see what happens.
Miel Bredo.
Speaking of bump them up.
It's time to bump up your first bit.
Okay.
I'm shocked no one stole this already.
I have so many backups just in case they did.
Okay.
I'm going Afternoon Delight.
Ooh.
Sure.
Sure.
By the Starland Vocal Band.
Now, I don't know if you guys knew this.
Okay.
That song's about sex.
Sex daytime sex.
Is that true?
No, it's not.
It's about peanut butter jelly and bacon sandwiches.
Yeah, after a delights.
Yeah, I thought it was about a poop where there's no wipe.
Sinning sex.
That is a, man, especially if it's hot out, you're like, yo.
In the afternoon, you're like, I already showered.
It's too long before I can get naked.
Just need to stay clean.
That is one of the true delights.
I never really thought about how good that feels.
You feel so good.
You're like, yo, I'm a winner.
You thank your body.
You're like, the system works.
Yeah.
You're like, what did I eat?
I'm going to eat that again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to go over your food diary.
We're all keeping them.
But it's so fucking funny to me.
1976, the Starland vocal band.
Does that sound like prime contenders to write a song about banging in the middle of the day?
Not at all.
But back then, everybody was kind of skeezy like that.
I feel like we were all banging in the day.
They were.
But who was singing about it?
I read that they snuck it into a variety show even.
Totally.
Because it's such a charming, unassuming little tune.
And you know, Sky Rockets.
I mean, you really got to dig a little bit.
It could mean other stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
That's why it's such a treasure.
You would never know how dirty it really is.
What are the actual lyrics other than Sky Rockets in play?
Oh, that's right.
That's pretty clear. That's pretty clear.
That's pretty obvious.
So exciting.
We're skipping a little.
Yeah, we are.
It's fine.
I chose it because I know it, but it's fine.
What is it?
Gonna grab my baby, gonna hold her tight
And so, no, you fuck me up.
My motto's always been
When it's right, it's right
While I wait until the middle of a cold, dark night
Well, everything's a little while waiting till the middle of a cold, dark night.
Well, everything's a little better in the right of day.
Like, fuck it.
And you know the night is always gonna be there anyway.
We can fuck again.
Truly.
Those are the original lyrics. They always edit it for the radio.
It's like a car response radio, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer situation.
They were nominated for four Grammys that year.
That's what I'm saying.
People were like,
ooh, a song about fucking,
I do declare.
Nominated.
They got their own variety show,
and David Letterman was a writer on it.
Boom.
Whoa.
There you go.
That's pretty buff.
Classic song.
Strong contender.
I want it.
In 2010,
Billboard named Afternoon Delight the 20th sexiest song of all time.
That's wrong.
I'll dispute that.
You're fully wrong.
Not a lot of sexy songs.
I don't think it's sexy at all.
Can you imagine being on a casual day date and trying to set the mood, popping that on
and just seeing what happens?
What year was it?
Do you know if I play some records?
Yeah.
It sounds like your dad's talking about fucking in the afternoon.
Yeah.
To you, though.
Yeah, to you. Not to his friends. Not to him.. Yeah, to you, though. Yeah, to you.
Not to his friends.
Not to him, I'm more likely to anyone else.
No, just like...
He's like, hey, kiddo, you know when the mood is right,
grab me some afternoon.
Hey, Jason, sometimes I fuck in the afternoon.
Go grab me a vodka.
Jesus Christ.
Go get me another drink.
1976, that song came out.
Yep, yep.
I honestly can't find anything wrong with it.
They won Grammys. They won Best New Artist. Yep. Yep. I honestly can't find anything wrong with it. They won Grammys.
They won Best New Artist.
Yep.
Shortsighted.
Yep.
And then they won
Best Arrangement for Voices
Duo Group of Chorus
which fine.
Sure.
Is that still a category?
I think it is.
I think it's not televised though.
Some of these Grammy categories
we could band again
if we put our minds to it
for a whole year
and win that shit.
Dude, you don't even know
how excited that comes.
Wait, listen.
This is a fact.
Yeah.
The best lyric booklet is a Grammy nomination.
Just for putting it together?
For designing it?
I don't even know what that means.
Is it like, did you write them in a really cool font?
Is it like one of those poems where it's like a snail shell as it goes out?
Yeah, right, yeah.
What the fuck do you do to win that Grammy?
Or you do it ransom style
or you just cut out letters from other...
Do you think anybody ever writes it in Comic Sans?
Because I feel like I got a hit on my hands.
Go, dude, make an album just to do that,
to win that Grammy.
Yes.
I mean, it's an idea.
Get a decoder that you have to order separately
and read out.
Yeah, to figure out my track listing.
There you go.
Lemon juice, anything.
Yeah, Invisible Ink.
Lemon juice.
I'm just spitballing.
You could do it in Thug Life tattoo letters, like Tupac had, but then this, you know, all
the different kinds of Thug Life.
What, the booklet's like 400 pages long?
Afternoon Delight.
It's a great pick.
I feel good about it.
It's a great pick.
Now it is a serpentine draft meal.
Oh, I go again!
No, you go again!
Oh, no, I got so consumed with the snake element there, I forgot what it meant.
Okay, I'm going for my second favorite pick, Mambo No. 5. Oh, no, I got so consumed with the snake element there. I forgot what it meant. Okay, um
I'm going for my second favorite pick Mambo number five
I Love that song. It's the perfect depiction of the like only side chick or side dick scenario where there's no main
You're just juggling
Plates and my favorite part is when he had just announcedces an instrument that's playing and then doubles down on it.
He's like, the trumpet.
And it's like, yeah, the trumpet.
And he goes, the trumpet.
And you're like, okay.
I guess he's like, oh, ad-lib?
What does that mean?
The trumpet.
The trumpet.
That's what the song is really about.
The trumpet.
I never realized the whole song is about side pieces.
He just names them.
No steak, just mashed potatoes and green beans.
Just naming all of them.
And I think he even maybe mixes up some of their names, because I don't believe that
those are all their names.
No.
Some of those, he just-
There's no way he knows a Trina.
Or a Rita.
I guess he's Latino, so Rita does make sense.
Is Rita a Latino name?
I hear a lot.
Or is it like Juanita, where it's-
I don't know. I feel like
Rita is like a vaguely Latina name.
It feels... I can see that. You know, I'm white,
so I can't speak to that. That's true. I'm sorry.
But I'm very tan right now.
I was in Palm Springs for the weekend.
You could be a Mario. So I will.
Yeah, true. Some of the other songs
off that album are crazy names. The most
expensive girl in the world.
That guy fucks.
That's what he's telling us
loud and clear.
You didn't need
to tell me that.
No.
Did you see his mustache?
Pencil thin.
Yeah, I knew it.
Pencil thin.
He gets it.
One just,
honestly like one hair follicle.
It's like thinner
than John Waters.
John Waters saw that
and was like, damn.
Right?
It made John Waters
up his game.
How do you even do that?
You don't.
I don't know.
Only Lubega does.
Yeah, most people don't. I have a know. Only Lubega does. Yeah, most people don't.
I have a mustache right now.
It looks great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, you do have a mustache.
Just a mustache
and the skin of Mark Maron.
And Mark Maron.
That's it.
That's all I'm wearing right now.
Tasteful.
Tasteful for any occasion.
But I've thought about it.
I've looked at it
and I've been like,
how do I,
not that I want to,
I'm like,
how would I get that real thin?
I don't know how to do anything to it.
I have no idea.
I don't know how to do anything. I did it when you're for Halloween,
you have to get like a razor blade,
like a box cutter razor blade
and just really,
yeah,
I mean,
that's how I did it.
You also have to have a hairline
that grows so close to your lip.
I mean,
there's multiple things
in the works here.
Yeah.
Yeah,
because you do need to shave down the top too.
Mine wasn't like
where I wanted it to be,
but yeah,
I just got like a box cutter razor blade
and just thinned it down.
It did not look great.
It's hard to move on.
His real name is David Lubega.
Sure.
Lubega is his last name.
Lubega is one name?
Yeah, Lubega.
Okay.
It's like if you were like the musician Jordan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lubega.
That's a good name.
Everybody knows Jordan.
He's German.
I was going to say Persian. He's German. I was going to say Persian.
He's German.
He was born in Germany.
Why is he so tan?
He was born in Munich.
Army brat.
He is of Italian and Ugandan descent.
That's crazy.
Are you trying to tell me he's not Cuban?
He's not Cuban at all.
I would have bet $100.
He's half Ugandan, half Italian.
He wears like that hat though.
Like he's in Havana.
What is he doing?
He figured it out. He figured out his name.. Like he's in Havana. What is he doing? He figured it out.
He figured out his name.
That whole video was like they were.
Yeah.
He does look like a guy who.
Definitely like Miami vibe.
Yeah.
Like the guy who put in a bunch of work years and years ago and now we see what he looks
like now that he can just like rest.
Right.
He dresses like he drinks the tiniest coffee.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
The tiniest coffee.
So strong though.
He's like a whole shot.
No thanks.
No thank you.
A teaspoon please.
But it's like, but it's as strong as a whole shot. It's like one whole shot? No, thanks. No, thank you. A teaspoon, please. But it's as strong as a whole shot?
It's like one of those crazy Cuban coffees?
It's so hot.
My coffee is so hot.
I want to see what he looks like now.
Do you, though?
I don't know if I do yet.
Maybe I don't.
His last album doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.
Oh, no.
I just want to remember him all horny in that video, running around.
So horny. Counting for no reason. Counting. One, two, three, Oh, no. I just want to remember him all horny in that video, running around. So horny.
Counting for no reason.
Counting.
One, two, three, four, five.
Like, the lyrics in that song don't even relate to each other.
Three, four, five.
It is such a good song.
Everybody in the house, so come on, let's ride to the liquor store around the corner.
Anyway, here's some girls I fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the whole song.
Who doesn't want gin and juice?
He's like, let's get a drink so I can tell you what I really need to talk about.
Trina, Katrina, Drina, Adrina.
Maybe that song was actually a cry for help.
Maybe it was.
Nobody heard it.
He's a sex addict.
He's a sex addict.
I'm trying to figure out.
I don't know if I've had relations with any of the women he names by name in this song.
Is that what you're checking?
Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita.
0 for four for
me that's all those are the only ones monica oh no nope no monica erica oh wait i have a little
bit of monica right yeah a little bit of monica in my life yeah is this a game? Erica, yeah. Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary, Jessica.
And Jennifer.
Jessica.
And Gertrude.
And Gert, Gertie.
Oh, man, the extended lyrics are crazy.
Gertie, Pearl.
Whoa, that's like, he's hitting the senior citizens.
A little bit of Coretta Scott King in my life.
That's crazy.
What if he did like a 30th anniversary where it's just all of them?
Celebrating some of the most important women in the history of the United States.
A little bit of a bit of an era.
You're insatiable.
A Susan B. Anthony Amala.
If he was smart, he would do that.
It would be the worst.
It would kill.
It would kill.
Make a parody of himself and then actually sell that single.
For real.
People would listen to it.
Lubega, if you're listening, front of the podcast.
Mark Lubega.
Whatever your name is.
David Lubega.
David Lubega.
David Lubega.
That sounds like a witness protection program name.
It does.
A little bit.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Yes.
Man, I'm in.
I'm very in.
That would be so tight.
I'm upset he hasn't done that.
Is he on Twitter?
We should tweet at him.
We should tweet at him.
I'm going to look right now.
He doesn't have Twitter.
Maybe when he goes to the library to check his Twitter.
He can't be in one place anymore because of child support payments.
You're going to catch it.
Oh, it's probably true.
Yeah, Lubega is opted out of the Twitter.
All those side chicks, man.
You're bound to.
Yeah, and he was not wearing condoms.
Oh, no.
He's a Ugandan.
They're insatiable.
He calls them party ruiners.
No, I'm not going to wear a fun record.
I wrote Mambo No. 5.
You're going to talk to me about condoms?
You coming at me with that Mambo No. 2. You're going to talk to me about condoms? You coming out with that Mambo No. 2?
That's what he calls bullshit.
Also his poops.
Mambo No. 2.
Biggest mansion in Havana with no internet.
I don't believe in the internet.
Do you think when he proposes, he's like,
will you be my Mambo No. 1?
That's the main one.
That's his main show.
That's my Mambo No. 1.
Several times he's probably promoted or proposed.
Mom number five in Afternoon Delight.
Excellent picks, Miel.
Thank you.
That's fantastic.
Thank you.
Yep.
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Man, now I have to make I have to make a tough I have to make a tough call here.
Where do we go from here?
My second pick.
Where do you go after Mambo No. 5?
I got a couple.
Well, yeah, I got a whole list.
The question is just which one.
I know.
It is so, there are so many that I want.
There's so many that are personal to me, too.
I know.
I tried to figure out, like, am I drafted for the world or for myself?
For yourself, right.
I think it's for me today.
Yeah.
It's hard not to.
This is pretty much all for me.
There's been so many in our, like, generation, especially, that were like, oh, that one. Yeah, music is recyclable. I remember when I for me today. Yeah. It's hard not to. This is pretty much all for me. There's been so many in our generation, especially, that were like, oh, that one.
Yeah, music is recyclable.
I remember when I heard that one.
I've got my pick.
What is it?
I'm going to stay with the number theme.
I went with a four-non-blonde song, and now I'm picking Nothing Compares to You.
To You.
By Sinead O'Connor.
Oh, that song is so good.
It's so good.
That was going to be deeper.
Written by one Prince Rogers Nelson
also performed by him sometimes
yeah sometimes
but Sinead
nails it
in that video
where she's just like
it's a foot away from her face
that video still would be tight today
if it came out
it would
it would totally be tight
for sure
it would hold up so well
and the shaved head
where you're just like
look at you
again she called Coachella 2017, like 1993.
I don't understand.
She was fucking, wait, what do you mean by that?
She called it.
So did fucking Linda Perry.
What happened?
Oh.
Her look in the-
Oh, her look.
It's like very on trend right now.
Everybody looks like that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excellent point.
She's fucking dope.
Irish. Irish. Come on. Sinead O'Connor. She was. She's fucking dope. Irish.
Irish.
Come on.
Sinead O'Connor.
She was right.
She burned the Pope.
Too.
And right about that.
She went on SNL, banned from SNL for it, by the way.
Which is insane.
Crazy.
You're going to ban somebody for that?
And she was right.
She was 100% right.
Also, you know, she said end child abuse.
Like, are we going to ban Hannibal for like busting Bill Cosby?
Like, what the fuck?
Right.
Exactly.
Weird standards over there.
Yeah.
Get it together, you knuckleheads.
Yeah.
You hear that?
Born.
Yeah.
You jamoke.
Friend of the program.
You know, unless you want to hire any of us, then we're free.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be around.
We'll send you a packet.
We love it.
That's a strong pick.
That's like an emotion.
You have two very emotional female fronted ballots.
I'm an emotional female fronted man. I'm giving it a five.
Yeah.
And I still think
some One Hill
Wonders have a high novelty value.
Like you pointed out.
This one I think is like an authentically really
good breakup song. Oh God. I mean if Prince
wrote it you know it's gonna be. Yeah.
What's your favorite part?
I have a few.
Went to the doctor. Guess what wrote it you know it's gonna be yeah what's your favorite part i have a few yeah that is pretty good you guys are gonna be nominated for the vocalogram i didn't even notice my fist was clenched until i looked over but it's just up and clenched
you can't not it's a physical response it's just like I could wrap my arms around any boy I see.
They'd only remind me of you.
That is some authentic shit.
Who hasn't felt that?
It's honestly too real.
It's too real.
Unless you're in a very good space, don't listen to that song.
You know what I like?
I like when she says, since you've been gone, I can do whatever I want.
Fuck you, dude.
I'm eating pizza naked.
Well, fuck. That was a pizza naked. Well, fuck.
That was a good vocal performance.
We're out here, you know?
I like listening to depressing songs like this when I'm in a good space.
Like you just said, right now, I can listen to depressed music.
You said that before.
I love it.
I can appreciate how good it is when you're in a good spot.
Just from a songwriting perspective, that is a hooky ass song.
And the lyrics, there's not one word in there that isn't exactly
necessary. It's so well written.
There's no fat on it. I should amend that. You have to be in a good
relationship.
Or I have to be in a good emotional state.
Financially, whatever, is all bananas.
If I'm either with
the right girl or not free,
then I love sad music. Because if you're poor and you listen to
a sad song, it's all
going down. I love it. I can do it. Sad songs are for poor people. Yeah, I do it all the. I still love it. It's all going down. No, I love it.
I thought sad songs were for poor people.
Yeah, I do it all the time.
I love it.
Well, sad songs say so much.
Sad songs say so much.
Not a one-hit wonder.
Plenty-os.
Plenty-o hits.
Here's two other parts I really like.
Specifically when she sings it.
The.
Is that Erin Neville doing such a thing?
She kind of sounds like...
Barry Gibbs.
I did a terrible version of it, but I like what her voice does.
It's so authentic.
Yeah, and you feel like she's about to start crying.
Right, exactly.
And you're like, if you're crying crying right exactly you're crying bitch i'm crying
and then one thing i really love in the prince version of the song which don't count in the
voting but like it's so good right when he tears into all the flowers that you planted mama yeah
i love when he throws it you're like like, oh, that was just for us. Just for us.
Ooh, thanks, Daddy.
God, exactly.
One from Daddy.
I miss him.
What happened to him?
Prince Dan.
Prince Dan.
He's having tons of sex in the sky now instead of on.
Nothing compares to you. I feel like when he was alive, he was having tons of sex.
I was once at the Hotel Marmont.
Is that what it's called?
Chateau Marmont.
Chateau Marmont.
When he came in, without a word, they just kicked everyone out.
They were like, he needs all of this space.
Yeah, that's awesome.
What?
That's like other famous people and stuff, too.
He had literally like 50 women with him and no one else.
Yo!
He's going to fuck every single girl in this group, and they all know about it, and they're
all okay with it. They're probably doing some new shit like post-fucking. That's what I'm saying. I don't even know what's going to fuck every single girl in this group, and they all know about it, and they're all okay with it.
They're probably doing some new shit post-fucking.
That's what I'm saying.
I don't even know what's going on.
Immediately, you're like, oh, he's on another dimension.
He's in the fifth dimension.
I wonder if he puts it in flaccid just because he's already achieved it.
He's a little older.
He's like, I like to come to fruition inside of me.
Inside.
Oh, my God, like a flower blooming.
Well, some flowers bloom. Some carrots grow underground, and that's him.
I'm so sorry, I don't understand that metaphor.
Like a flower blooms above the ground, but a carrot blooms beneath.
So is the carrot the dick?
He's trying to carrot that ass.
Yeah, and the soil is the vagina.
It gets hard in there.
So the carrot grows in the soil.
And the flower of the carrot is what?
He's got kind of a tuber.
Pubic hair.
It's like baking a brownie.
You put it in wet and kind of sloppy, and then it comes alive in the oven.
At the Chateau Marmont.
History will look back on this metaphor and smile.
I'm glad you believe that.
Right there at the Chateau Marmont.
Right there at the Chateau.
Another comparison to you.
Sean Jordan
it is time for your second pick
so Wumbo
oh man this is so tricky
so
these are all very good
these are
these have been good so far
I'm gonna wreck it
and this one
this is a personal one for me
because this is just kind of
what I try to do with my life
but I'm gonna pick
Don't Worry Be Happy
by Bobby McClure
I was gonna pick that
you motherfucker
fuck man
you were gonna pick it too
I was adjusted levels again god damn it You motherfucker. Fuck, man. You were going to pick it too? I was?
Adjusted levels again.
God, I almost picked it just now.
Levels getting adjusted.
I love that song.
It is so good.
Because it says what I want to say all the time.
It is a way more you song.
Really try to not worry and try to be happy.
Not as a novelty.
You're like, I love this song.
That was one of my first favorite songs when I was a little kid.
Really? Me too. I used to love it. I one of my first favorite songs when I was a little kid.
Really? Me too.
Sue Carmel's listening to this right now.
Sorry about that carrot metaphor.
Saying Sue Carmel.
Yeah.
I'm sorry about that carrot.
Sorry about that carrot thing, but she's listening to this.
Your mom's name is Sue?
Sorry about that carrot thing.
I'm so sorry.
It's Sue.
But she'll die.
That was one of my first favorite songs.
It's because if you listen, I mean, if you listen to lyrics, it's just, don't worry,
be happy.
It's awesome.
It's so nice. It's so's awesome. It's so nice.
It's so peppy. It's so happy.
The video is fun. Walk down the street like, you know,
it's like when a cartoon bird would land on your real
life shoulder. That kind of a song. The whistling
gets me. All that stuff has happened
to me too. My rant's late right now.
And they're going to litigate.
And they're going to litigate.
I don't know what to do about it.
I'm drowning
well don't worry
sometimes when there's trouble
if you worry you make it double
that's what I've heard
you don't want to think about that late for you
Robert McFerrin
and he did all the beats for all that stuff
and then he killed himself
what?
that's gotta be an urban legend
if I remember correct he's a professor at the U of M.
Now?
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if he's retired or not.
No, he's dead, right?
He's not even dead.
He's alive?
Is he?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think after that song.
A lot of people, dog.
Prince is dead.
Where am I?
I mean, through the use of heroin, Bradley Noel Prince is dead. Where am I? I mean,
through the use of heroin,
Bradley Noel from Sublime.
Okay.
Yeah.
Did you pick him?
No,
that's just somebody
who killed himself.
No, he's...
Yeah, he's got like a...
He did like a dope TED Talk
or something like that.
Yeah.
Bobby?
Old Bob?
Bob McFerrin.
Robert?
Robbie Mickey Fee.
Robbie McFee.
Polyphonic overtone singing.
All right. That's one of the things he's about. Okay. Yeah, I swear. That? Robbie Mickey Fee. Robbie Mickey Fee. Polyphonic overtone singing. All right.
That's one of the things he's about.
Okay.
Yeah, I swear.
That had a cool music video, too.
Yeah, the music video was great.
I forget the video.
What was it?
Just he was wearing a tuxedo, walking around doing 80s stuff.
Sounds dope.
It was very 80s.
Walking around doing 80s stuff.
It was similar to the Call Me Al video.
Pointing at a synthesizer.
It was similar to the Call Me Al video.
He also did the theme song for the Cosby show, which never existed.
He did a theme song? Yeah Cosby show, which never existed. He did the theme song?
Yeah.
All the words.
Which one?
There was a lot of Cosby show theme songs.
He did one of them.
I don't know.
I just lost over it.
Because there was like the street one, like the...
Oh, season four.
I don't know.
Just season four.
Yeah, that was one.
And then...
Oh, here's some crazy shit.
Did you know Don't Worry, Be Happy was George H.W. Bush's presidential election campaign song?
I did know that.
And he stopped playing it touring after that.
Really?
He never played it again touring.
Bobby McFerrin didn't?
Yeah.
So what did he play touring?
See, that's a question for the other kids here.
Yo, I'd be so pissed.
That's where the TED Talk
came about.
He wasn't supposed
to do a TED Talk,
but he's like,
well, I gotta do something
and I can't play.
Oh, freak out.
Bro, I paid 80 bucks.
My fucking wife is here, dog.
He won 10 Grammys
for that song?
Yeah.
Because for one year
they didn't worry
and they were fucking happy.
Just in general.
Did he have other hits, though?
I feel like he maybe
had other hits.
Jazz vocal. Not mainstream hits. I think this other hits though? I feel like he maybe had other hits. Jazz vocal.
Not mainstream hits.
I think this counts as a one hit wonder.
Okay.
Because all his other shit was like jazz vocal arrangements.
No, we don't want that.
We want Don't Worry Be Happy.
Yeah, I'm not picking a jazz vocal arrangement.
That didn't make me forget about my troubles.
No.
No, it just made me think deeper.
Great.
Don't Worry Be Happy is a great pick.
I appreciate it. Thank you so much. I really like it. Fuck, man. I really wanted that one. Yeah, it just made me think deeper. Great. Don't worry, B.I. It was a great pick. I appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
I really liked it.
Fuck, man.
I really wanted that one.
Yeah, that was a burn.
I thought I was going to be able to make that
with a candle on my cake.
Because I got like...
That's what I was going to do with Sinead.
Yeah.
I was going to be like,
and sometimes I'm not stoked all the time.
And I was going to pick Sinead O'Connor.
Oh, you're a narrative.
I'm sorry to have interrupted it.
That's exactly what I was going to do.
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I don't know if you guys remember this. I don't know how old everyone is in the room.
I'm 14.
You're 14? I'm 35. I was 14.
This song I listened to when I was 14.
It was by a group called
3LW. Oh, hell yeah!
Three Little Women. And the song No More.
You remember that song?
How did it go?
You can't, you will, or you won't
won't, you won't
oh, oh, no more
baby, I'ma do it right
You don't remember that song? Yes, I do, but I can't.
And there's the one, the rapping part
where the girl says, but that was last year
boy, in the 8th grade.
Oh no, they meant
Little Women, like, age-wise.
But I was in 8th grade too
Yeah
So I'd watch the video
And I'd be like
Man
These dudes in New York
Are so fucking cool
These girls are out there
Living life
Yeah they were driving
In like
It's like kind of auto-tuney
Like if you listen to her voice
And she's just driving
Looking out the window
And she's like
Getting a little tired
Of your broken promises
Promises
Oh that part
I remember a lot She has the tiniest list I remember that part a lot getting a little tired of your broken promises promises she has the tiniest list i remember that
i'm gonna look up the lyrics my favorite part of that is i'm like you have a little lisp and
you're like i'm gonna say the first line with two s's and i'm going hard in the pain yeah that song
was like and it used to be like it was, I remember riding the bus and me and my friends would make fun of like that song and like Lil Romeo's song.
But I fucking love that song.
This one is called No More.
Yeah, No More.
I'm just trying to look up the lyrics.
I do.
I do wonder though if Play Is Gonna Play was marginally more popular.
No way.
Play Is Gonna Play.
Hey, does that go?
No way.
That ain't got nothing to do.
I remember this.
You think so?
Now that I'm looking at the video too just food for
thought i remember having a crush on all god that's disgusting but yeah no because you were
when i was a child i mean i was a kid i was young like i was in eighth grade so she was like that
was last year i was like she's talking to me didn't these girls become the cheetah girls or
am i crazy no no i don't think they did and then they become one of them is a cheetah girl one of
them is a cheetah yeah she the the rob is a cheetah girl. Adrian Bellion.
Yeah, the Rob Kardashian.
What are cheetah girls?
And the Keely Williams girl made that single that was so raunchy about fucking.
Yeah.
Oh, that one song about fucking?
Oh, that one.
That one person made that one.
Also, cheetah girls hit Disney Channel movie.
Oh, hell yeah.
Okay.
Raven Simone.
You may have heard of her.
I have heard of one Raven Simone. Sure. One not black Raven Simone You may have heard of her I have heard of a one Raven Simone
One not black Raven Simone
Damn when you go to 3LW's
Wikipedia page
The Associated Acts are the cheetah girls
And then Lil Wayne and Jermaine Dupri
Jermaine Dupri
Why did you let him around a guy named Loon
I don't know keep those girls away from Loon
Uh oh
I might have just thought.
Chonky Lamar Hawkins.
I might have just thought of another one.
If you watch the video now, it is like too sexual.
Oh, no.
It's like a bum.
You're like, I like, like, because I still love the song.
It pops in my video wrote sometimes.
Okay.
Like, you'll just be like, why are they making these little girls dance like this?
Because they were probably all like 16, right?
She said last year in the eighth grade.
Yeah, that's a little fucked up.
Yeah, it was weird.
That's extremely fucked up.
Even if they're 16,
it's still like pretty fucked up.
Although you guys,
if we go back,
if we really go back here,
like Baby One More Time.
Oh yeah.
That song was totally gross.
And we were like,
yeah, okay,
but she was a child.
But I was childer,
so I was cool.
Yeah, I was also a child.
Oh, we were, right?
Except now you're 47. I'm 47, but I I was also a child. Oh, we were, right? Except now you're 47.
I'm 47, but I was acting like a child.
I paid embezzled money to go see her at a concert.
It's okay.
47 in the streets, 23 in the sheets.
Still not legal.
That was like during the acronym era of SWV.
SWV, For Real W, TLC.
TLC, oh.
That was during TLC's comeback, the Unpretty era.
Unpretty.
Which, what a good video.
I used to think I was so deep.
And also the message.
Yeah.
I remember being like, what's a weave?
Oh, we had that shit all throughout the house.
We're so snarky now because we're all adults who are experiencing media meant for children.
Today, that Pepsi commercial came out with Kendall Jenner in it when we're recording this.
It's like this protest that she solves with a Pepsi.
It's corny as fuck.
It's awful.
It's awful, right?
It's hacky.
But maybe if you're a kid, you're like, oh, yeah, we're not that different.
We all like Pepsi. But I'm you're a kid, you're like, oh, yeah, we're not that different. We all like Pepsi.
But I'm sorry.
Okay, you know what?
Is it the cops in that message?
It's like, cops are people too.
Do we need to know that?
Is that the message of it?
I don't know the message.
And I'm a grown-ass woman, so I don't know.
It's awful.
It's awful as an adult.
But would we have liked it as kids?
Would we have liked the Unpretty video as adults?
If we were like-
That's a good question.
Because it's really corny.
It's corny.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like you're just-
Even the Waterfalls videos, now you're like-
But we were so limited by CGI.
He probably shouldn't have just-
I used to think it was sex.
I used to think the three letters that took him to his final resting place were sex.
They kind of were, but it was HIV.
It was 3LW.
3LW took him.
I remember being a kid and thinking,
why does nobody shut the fuck up about AIDS?
Or what if TLC took him to the final exercise?
I remember thinking, I don't know anybody who has AIDS,
but everybody's yelling about AIDS all the time.
They were really yelling at the kids.
Yeah, and I was like, I'm not fucking.
I'm not going to get it.
The least of my concerns right now.
Is AIDS.
I haven't touched a butt, dog. Leave me alone. Yeah, man. I was like, I'm not fucking. I'm not going to get it. The least of my concerns right now. Is AIDS. Yeah.
I haven't touched a butt, dog.
Leave me alone.
Yeah, man.
I was not.
Yeah.
90s kids.
We had to hear so much about fucking AIDS.
We really did.
Drugs and AIDS, man.
We really had to pay for the sins of our elders on that one.
We did.
We had the wackest, like, everybody just told us not to do drugs.
Yeah.
Or get AIDS.
Everybody.
Data was such a whack program.
Oh my God, dude.
Marijuana is bad
and so is heroin
and they're bad the same way.
You ever think about that cop?
He had to come to school
and tell these kids
that weed is bad?
Yeah.
Like, you knew.
I actually thought
until I was like 15
that weed was going to turn me
into that guy in that video
they made us watch
where he's like,
I smoke weed one time
and I can't do it anymore. Right, exactly. And you're like, oh, if I smoke a weed, that'll they made us watch. Totally. I smoke weed one time. I can't anymore.
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, if I smoke a weed, that'll be me.
Even one weed.
If I smoke a weed.
I remember being so scared of weed, too, because I went to shitty schools, so there were kids
who were smoking weed.
Yeah.
And they'd be like, let's smoke.
I'd hear kids talk about smoking a bowl.
I'd be like, they're going to smoke a fucking cereal bowl.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
I thought it was like a giant bowl of weed.
Me, too.
Like, they're going to smoke a whole fucking bowl. I thought they just lit too. That was like a giant bowl of weed. Me too. Like you could smoke a whole fucking bowl.
I thought they just
lit the bowl on fire
and just breathed it in.
Yeah, that's what it feels like.
I bet you some kids
I'd love to see the amount of kids
that did shit like that
where they're like
they didn't know how to smoke a bowl
so they just filled a bowl up
with weed and threw a match
and they're like
burning the fireplace.
These kids are millionaires
we're not fucking killing them.
First time I ever smoked weed
I blew into the bong instead of sucking in.
You just hope no one noticed.
No.
Michael Vicente punched me in my motherfucking chest.
And he was like a man.
I was a boy.
Michael Vicente.
Michael Vicente.
He was like.
He sounds like a man.
I was 13, so he must have been 17.
Already had a naked lady tattoo, and he punched me
straight in my shit.
So hard.
Did it traumatize you off weed forever?
No.
Quite the opposite.
No, it did not.
He got beat in.
Yeah.
I got jumped into the game.
That was the first day of the rest of his life.
3LW with a second pick.
Okay.
What's the third pick going to be?
I'm just going to sing it.
Can you tell me?
No, you can't, but you don't want.
You know what I'm talking about?
No, I don't.
Mmm, bop.
Oh!
Bop, bop, bop, doo, bop.
That was a good one.
Bop, bop, bop, doo, bop.
David?
No, I'm talking about...
No.
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
So many relationships in life.
Yes!
Oh, my God!
Yo!
That made me so happy
The levels again
For the third time
I love it
This is the most heated
We've ever gotten
Only one or two will last
Oh man
That song was so
I remember
Good
I can't believe I forgot that
I listened to it this morning
It still works
It's so
It does work
Every time you hear it
You're like
Yo
Because you know why?
There are no words in the chorus
There's no words So that moment when you're like Oh fuck. Because you know why? There are no words in the chorus. There's no words.
So that moment when you're like, oh, fuck, I forgot some of these words.
Nope.
Just make any sound.
You're right.
Yeah.
Even now, I'm trying to think of the lyrics, and I'm just singing on pretty, but it works.
Yeah.
Oh, doesn't look pretty.
Who's in right there?
And I don't even know.
And then it comes back to.
And I don't even know.
And then it comes back to.
It's right.
It sounds right.
Can you tell me?
No, you can't.
No, you can't.
They were so dope.
And like the thing is, two of them couldn't sing at all. One little cutie one couldn't sing.
Was it the little Michael Jackson voice?
He had a little Michael Jackson voice.
And he had rollerblades in the video.
Oh, and he was so hot.
Rollerblades were new.
He was so hot.
I had him all over my binder.
What?
Zach?
Rollerblades?
Fuck out of here.
Yeah, that song was like
so infectious.
That was the first time
that I thought
a guy was a girl.
Were you into it?
Were you into it?
I told my friends,
the lead singer of Hanson,
I was like,
that girl's super attractive,
like really good looking.
I told my mom
and my mom's like, I think that's a little boy. And I'm like, there's's super attractive, like really good looking. I told my mom and my mom's like,
I think that's a little boy.
And I'm like,
there's no way
that's a little boy.
How old were you?
Well,
let's be honest
and find out
because I was a little too old.
Is that too old?
95?
No, I think it was about right.
95?
97 feels about right, right?
No?
I was thinking 94.
Oh shit,
that's too young, right?
I'm trying to get
on the wiki right now,
but I guarantee I was too...
97.
I cannot believe I got a 7.
So I would have been...
I was 16.
And I thought...
And you were like, she's cute.
And I thought that little boy was pretty hot.
Also, she was 8.
God, that's buck.
That's a little fucked up.
That kind of feels like 2Ls.
You caught 2Ls on that one.
Yeah, I did.
He did.
You know, the thing about being old now is I'm honest.
Yeah, I can't fault you for that.
You can be honest.
When I was 16,
I had a crush on an eight-year-old boy
is what you guys are telling me.
I feel like a lot of people took that.
I think that happened to a lot of people.
I didn't act on it.
And you know what?
Now that you're older,
that age difference is okay.
Now we can be in love.
You could.
I saw him at Black Cat and Silver Lake
the other day. Is his name Sam?
Zach. Zach. Well, as I recall,
there were three of them. And by the way, their names mixed up.
Just check your tattoo.
I saw them at Red Rock Bar once.
Sunset Boulevard. They look the same, right?
Yeah. Did you recognize them?
They look the same. They look exactly the same.
Aren't they Mormon or something? They're weirdly religious.
Yeah. Yeah, it's some strange...
Do you know the Dust Brothers produced that song?
Who?
The Dust Brothers.
Who is that?
They did like music for Fight Club.
A couple of ashy twins.
Yeah.
They're like Apex Twin kind of people.
They produced the Mormon Boys?
Yes.
Hanson?
Hanson.
For a long time, I thought Hanson Soda was named after them.
I was a little kid.
That would have been a good turn.
That's like the original 50 Cent with vitamin water.
They should have made that move.
They should have made that move.
They'd still be around today. I would have bought it more
because I was like, I like those boys. I want that soda.
They were like, yeah, everybody
would. I like those boys. I want that soda.
Girls were crying about them.
How much attention, like how many records did they sell
for the wrong reasons? You know what I mean?
You mean like to weird dudes? Yeah.
Who went to those concerts
is what I want to know.
Men that weren't allowed to be there. My daughter went to the mosh pit or whatever they have at the...
The mosh pit?
The Hanson mosh pit.
The Hanson mosh pit.
They all just braided each other's hair with those fabric pieces, you know?
Right, like we did.
Just wrapped around.
Oh, didn't they have the toy that did that for you?
Remember that?
Oh, I had it and I lost a lot of hair to that guy.
Yeah.
It's like a spitting short for your hair. Yeah. Like lost a lot of hair to that guy. Yeah. It's like a spinning fork
for your hair.
Yeah.
Like you're twisting up
spaghetti noodles or something.
Yeah.
It was like that scene
in Little Mermaid
where she just like
tosses her hair
except like on steroids.
That would be the worst.
Are they making a live action
Little Mermaid yet?
You know, good question.
They should be.
Get on it, Big Holly.
I don't remember that movie
at all.
Harvey Fierstein said he'd play Ursula. Urs't remember that movie at all Harvey Fierstein
said he'd play
Ursula
I heard that
Harvey Fierstein
wants to play Ursula
poor unfortunate soul
I would watch it
just for him
I don't
you could have
someone I hate
the most like
just grossest person
playing Ariel
I would still see it
yeah
that'd be fantastic
Emma Stone would play Ariel
come on
she can't sing though they don't care Come on. She can't sing, though.
Fine with me.
They don't care.
She can't sing all her way to an Oscar.
Is that the one?
Right, Emma?
That's the one.
La La La.
La La La.
Not the other Emma that's also in theaters and can't sing.
La La La.
Also doing Disney.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
I knew there were two of them.
They're from us, actually.
That's really...
Ian Carmel.
It's going right to the brain.
I knew there was a couple of them.
I couldn't remember which was which.
Seems like a brain thing issue, blah, blah, blah.
They went to South by Southwest.
That year?
Way back in the day, like early South by.
95, that's where they got signed.
They were playing at South by.
That's crazy to think about. Was that the same year that the real world was at South by Southwest? It was like 95, by 95. That's where they got signed. They were playing at South by. That's crazy to think about.
Was that the same year that the real world was at South by South by?
It was like 95, so maybe.
That feels so right.
Wait, the real world, they worked there?
Yeah.
Like as the house job.
That was their job to work at South by?
Yeah.
I would love that job.
Go find a fun job for the house.
Yeah, like T-shirt store.
Bob was dope.
Fantastic pick, David Boyd
Thank you
Sean Jordan
It's time for your third pick
Swinging it on back around
Yes Serpentine
So my third pick
Is going to be
Closing Time
By Semi Son
Oh man
That song is really fun
Is it?
See
I love that song
Are you out on that song?
I love that song These all speak to Parts song? I love that song. These all speak to
parts of my life. Like when
I first got that
Cherry Ford Probe that we were talking about earlier,
that semi-sonic was like one of the
radio songs and I would just hear it all the time.
Because I could go drive around at night and that
song was on the radio so I just constantly think
about it. And I love that song.
I absolutely love that song. Do you still love it to this day?
I still absolutely think it's a great song.
And if you hadn't had that memory, would you like it?
Yes.
I mean, well, that's hard to say.
That's hard to say.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
Oh, that's true.
It's a thing to think about.
You know, every time a door shuts, another one opens.
You know what I mean?
I feel like bars just ruined that song for me.
Yeah.
That's why I like it.
Why are you at bars at 2 a.m.?
Because I'm so cool in 14.
Jeez, we go home at 10.
We try to get home
by 10.
It's hard to read
the Bible at the bar
is why I don't like
to be there a lot.
Low light.
All the noise
and the light.
Although I do like
to read the Bible
at candlelight.
Oh,
that is nice.
It's weird.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
You know,
but that just makes
it more authentic.
It is,
they definitely,
everybody thinks
they're very clever
playing it like last song
at the bar.
Yeah,
you're like,
okay,
we get it.
You can just turn
the lights on
and kick us out.
But I like it
for that reason
because it means I'll be having taco bell soon yeah true right
it's like the siren call of the taco bell drive-thru i mean also it gets me when i'm like
real hammered at last call and it comes on i'm just like yeah that's right sing it you know what
that's true you know what i mean it's better to me than when they turn the lights out and they
grab a drink like get the fuck out loser and you're like play closing time and give me five
minutes to leave yeah don't dip my feet in the bathtub don't throw me in the fucking boiling
water turn the lights on they blast them and you're just like i see how much i've been sweating
in l.a especially they're like we're getting the fuck out of here yeah and you're like i really
haven't i was trying to drink in this dark room yeah i haven't closed a lot of bars down in l.a
really we've closed down the old uh weost a few times. We're usually a little
tore up by that point. The popcorn though.
Yeah, no, it's dope.
I got the popcorn chicken last time and people
were hating. What?
I had some. I was and I was eating.
Malloy was hating in front of the program.
He's prone to hating on stuff though.
I was like telling him, I was like, they got spicy
ketchup. What else do you want? I mean, we love him for it, but he's prone to hating on stuff, though. I was telling him, I was like, they got spicy ketchup. What else do you want?
I mean, we love him for it,
but he's prone to hate.
But do they play Closing Time?
You can play it if you want to
on the jukebox.
Honestly, I've been so shithoused
every time.
I get real drunk.
It's just a good bar
to get wasted in.
David drinks Cutty Sark
whenever we go there.
Oh, yeah.
You know what Cutty Sark is?
No.
It's like gasoline
with a whiskey label on it.
No, thanks.
It's pretty good.
Hard pass.
So buck. Oh, you mean the smooth, refreshing blend of Cutty Sark? I'm the unofficious folks. gasoline with a whiskey label on it. No thanks. It's pretty good.
Oh, you mean a smooth, refreshing blend of Cutty Sark?
It even sounds like you're saying something has shit in it.
Cutty Sart?
Cutty Sark. Way too close to
Shart and Fart for me.
It's not good, but I...
I'm really pushing
this. I'm not that great.
I'm going to order a Sh a shitty fart next time I'm there
you don't need it
what do you deserve anyway
fuck it
yeah let me
let me be a
the next time you're there
order a shot of shitty fart
and see what they bring you
cause that's what they'll bring you
yeah
just say it real like
they'll be like
oh you meant Cutty Sark
I could order a shot of ass
they'd still just bring me
which probably
or it sounds like
a really shitty
Game of Thrones character
Cutty Sark
like Ned Stark
and Cutty Sark
Cutty Sark
Cutty Sark does what is it I assume it's a ship a Cutty Sark yeah Cutty Sark. Like Ned Stark and Cutty Sark. Cutty Sark.
Cutty Sark does,
what is it?
I assume it's a ship,
a Cutty Sark.
Yeah, Cutty Sark's a ship.
Or it's like a Cutty cuttlefish,
like relative.
Kid Cutty Shark.
Well, it's also great
because in San Francisco,
Cutty is like
slang for grimy.
What?
Oh, is it really?
What are the Silicon Valley
bros doing up there?
I'm gonna get some cuttle.
Cutty.
They used to do.
I'm talking about
like the Filipino teens
with rat tails.
Oh, got like the mission.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Got it.
Now it's a different thing.
Yeah, it's a whole different thing.
They ain't cutty up there anymore.
It gets cutty up there.
It gets cutty up there.
It still gets a little cutty.
It's cutting.
Yeah.
I still have mixed feelings
about that twice.
Dude, I want to do this
for 10 rounds.
Yeah, I know. There's so long. I know. That's what I I still have mixed feelings about that. Damn, I want to do this rap for 10 rounds. Yeah, I know.
Teach it around.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm going through all these, and I want to make a huge fat list, but I'm also trying
to get different flavors in.
So are we going for who has the best curated playlist?
Is that how you would measure these against each other?
That's kind of what I'm doing for me.
That's what I'm doing for me.
Because then I really fucking do it.
Although at least yours opens, right?
Yeah.
Sean Jordan, you just made your third pick.
Closing Time by Sammy Sonic.
Yep.
Although that should have been my last pick because it doesn't sound like you guys were
going to pick it and what a good way to close on.
It's a good one.
I appreciate it.
It made me really want to pick for something next but I don't think I will.
I'm pulling audibles now because.
I am too.
I'm trying.
I got a couple.
Star Trek banner fucked me up.
Yeah.
I'm going to pick something that I don't think anyone else was going to pick but that I feel like I got a couple banner fucked me up yes I'm gonna pick something
that I don't think anyone else was gonna pick
but that I feel like I gotta have don't be sure
what do you got Lord Tariq and Peter
gun kidding me yes
fucking kidding me bro
look look where it says Lord Tariq and Peter
gun
God
I thought I was so slick
so did I I wrote it down at your crib while we're watching
I wrote it down
We probably wrote it down at similar times
I mean well I have literally no idea what you guys are even saying
It's called
Deja vu
Uptown anthem
I've never heard of it
Do ya dudes got crazy game
But out of town niggas is all the same
People out of Queens got the shit on lock
Strapped with a gat running up in your spot
Wasn't for the Bronx
That shit probably never would be going on
So tell me where you from
Uptown baby
Uptown baby
Oh, so like Bruno Mars
No, what?
Excuse yourself
Bruno Mars
That song
I'm just guessing
Bruno Mars
Damn it
I can't
Bruno fucking Mars
I mean come on
He's in my crew
But that's neither here nor there
Uptown fuck
Am I wrong?
You are
It samples
A Steely Dan song
It does sample
Black Cow
Now I'm listening
Now I'm listening
It was such a weird song.
What year did this come out?
It's got to be like 98 or something.
How did I miss this?
Oh, right, because I'm from the whitest island in the world.
Oh, that's right.
Maybe that's how.
But they used to play it on Cube 93.
It was on everything.
Cube.
Oh, I miss it every day.
Who doesn't?
Yeah, I don't know how I miss that.
That was on my boombox every day.
It was such a good song.
I assumed we'd be hearing a lot more from those guys,
but we really didn't.
Peter Gunz is on Love and Hip Hop.
Oh, is he?
Yeah, he's a part of the Creep Squad
with this guy, Rich Dollaz.
Is it something called the Creep Squad?
Yeah.
Don't like that.
98 is when that came out.
Can you tell me the name of this artist again?
Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz.
Peter Gunz.
There's two dudes.
Is Lord a real Lord?
No, he's not a part of the British gentry.
Of the sound view, Tariq's. Yeah, Is Lord a real Lord? No, he's not a part of the British gentry. Of the Soundview
Tariqs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sure.
Sure, sure.
That's so funny, David.
Whatever have you, I'm from Soundview.
Of the house.
I also love on that song
that he's like talking about all the cool shit he does
and he says, and I love sex.
Yeah, yeah. I push a Lex, I rock a Rolex, and I love sex.
Oh.
He does though.
Does he?
He has a bunch of kids now.
I'll tell you what, both these dudes in this video
have on leather baseball outfits.
Nope.
You know what?
I was on board with the sex line and I'm back off for it.
Leather baseball outfits.
And the video takes place.
They're both like
Bronx, New York
Yankee type dudes.
Yeah.
Somebody pointed this
out on Twitter.
I forget who
but my bad.
Whoever it is
shout out to you.
The video's clearly
shot in Shea Stadium
in Queens.
Really?
They couldn't get
into New York
they couldn't get
into Yankee Stadium.
That's hilarious.
So they're in like
Queens, New York.
How did somebody
point that out on Twitter?
I just saw it in the feed.
Okay I was gonna be like
somebody that means you were talking about Lone Tariq and Peter Guns at
a different point.
I have a private feed that you guys are blocked on.
Here, I'm trying to find pictures of the video to show you.
It's such a good song.
It's, is it really?
It is.
It is a good ass song.
That, like if you walk into a house party and that song starts playing.
He's the one who says, I love sex.
If I played 45 seconds of that song at a dance party, you'd be stoked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It just starts off.
It's got the good starting to get, like, everyone out there be like, oh, I remember this song.
And then you get out.
Peter got a nine from me.
Yeah.
And then it drops.
It drops so hard.
The beat fucking knocks.
It's a good song.
You know, I'm imagining it.
And it sounds fun.
You should.
If you listen to a song after this, listen to that one.
It is.
Okay. You can fucking shake your jets to it all day. It is a good one. Lord. Lord. Feel good about getting that pick out. sounds fun you should if you listen to a song after this listen to that one it is okay you
fucking shake your jets all day it was a good one lord lord feel good about getting that pick out
peter peter guns that was yeah i had it on a sleep and i i didn't want to do it after you did
nothing compares to you it was like i might gotta chill yeah that was gonna get picked i'm i'm on an emotional rollercoaster over here. Oh, shit. You are? Neil Bredo.
Bredo.
Boy.
Bredo.
I'm so conflicted.
Like, part of me just wants to go rogue and choose, like, Happy Birthday or something,
but I actually...
Oh, shit.
I hate that song, though, so you guys can take it.
Plus, that was Elton John who wrote it, so...
Who wrote the black one?
Oh, Happy...
Stevie Wonder.
I just found out that there was a black happy birthday song
no less than a year ago.
I didn't know that...
Yeah, I didn't know there was a different one.
I'll say some shit like happy born day and rest in power.
Yeah, rest in paradise.
Like the R-I and then P for whatever it is.
Yeah.
Rest in puff daddy.
Yeah, I didn't understand that until about a year ago.
Okay, guys, fuck.
Fuckity fuck.
I think I have to go with one that like...
Fuckity fuck.
That affected me in a big way, and that is Hit Em Up Style. Oh, fuck. Fuckity fuck. I think I have to go with one that affected me in a big way,
and that is Hit Em Up Style.
Hey, lady.
Blue Cantrell?
Does a man want to get buck wild?
Just go back and hit him up style.
That song is awesome.
We've talked about that on here.
Ian picked her for one of his divas, I think.
No way, Blue.
Oh, you talked about it.
Yeah, Blue Cantrell.
That song, man, okay, I obviously stand for the message.
Get it, girl.
Get it.
Go for it.
But more importantly, I was trying to read about her to educate myself on this pic, and
I read that Blue was last in the news when people thought Beyonce named her baby after
her.
Whoa, that'd be cool.
And that made me so sad.
named her baby after her.
Whoa, that'd be cool.
And that made me so sad.
Can you imagine resurfacing 15 years later
and people are like,
ooh, Beyonce named her baby
after you.
And she has to be like,
actually, no, she didn't.
Yeah, that Google alert
pops up and you get
real excited.
Yeah.
And then she's like,
back to obscurity, I go.
Sneaking away.
I like to imagine
that she's still rich as hell
from that single.
Well, she probably actually
fucking went back and got Buck Wilde and took all that dude shit.
Took him up.
What year was that?
Because that was still when people were making a lot of money off of music, right?
I hope so.
For the sake of blue.
That didn't sound good.
It looked like good news, and then all of a sudden I have another paragraph.
She had a pornography scandal, right?
Well, here's what.
I don't see that.
paragraph she had a pornography scandal right yeah well here's what i know i don't see that but cantrell was taken into custody by police for psychological evaluation on september 3 2014
she was seen running around the streets of santi monica at around 2 a.m screaming that
someone had poisoned her with gas what if they did though cantrell according to witnesses
and referred to herself as a one-hit wonder oh no you're right oh no blue
questioning authorities if they recognized her when her erratic behavior failed to see someone
called the police frankly i respect her more for that yeah if she's like do you know who i am i'm
a one-hit wonder yeah she pulled uh martin lawrence yeah she did and we didn't disrespect
him for that did we so no 2001 is what we're doing.
Also, maybe did somebody poison her with gas?
Maybe.
If she hit him up style, they probably did.
I feel like hit him up style could have a lot of consequences.
Yeah.
Which is, again, why it's a great banger.
Because you're like, it's like, you know how that, I don't care.
Like, they say they crash their car off a bridge.
And sometimes you're like, you know what?
I like how reckless this is.
Same effect.
The original.
Go get Buck.
With the blue Cantrell.
That might've been like one of the first times that I heard Buck.
I say Buck a lot.
And that would have been.
For a dollar?
No,
like go,
if you may,
I want to get Buck Wild.
Buck Wild.
Okay.
I thought you were trying to tell me that like at 20 something years old was the first
time you heard someone refer to money as a Buck.
Nope. Nope. buck. Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
But just like using it as a verb like that.
Like go get buck.
Should get buck wild.
Yeah.
She's of Cape Verdean descent.
What does that mean?
Like Amber Rose.
You know how you look at Amber Rose?
She's from Cape Verde?
Her mother is.
Okay, wait.
I'm getting confused though because there's like a Palos Verdes, which is very different.
Cape Verde is like an island nation off the coast of Africa.
Okay.
Off the west coast.
Yeah, west coast.
It's by Sierra Leone, so it's by us.
Okay.
That is weird.
That's a fun fact about Blue Cantrell and Amber Rose.
Cape Verde and Amber Rose.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I still think you should spend them to the last dime for all the hard times.
Oh, yeah.
For all the hard times, yeah.
Don't make him pay physically. That's fucked up.
But financially, 100%.
You should just, like, why is
it all of a sudden you get married
and you get some money? Whoa, I signed a document
and now I get, I earn money from you cheating
on me? Why not when you're dating?
That seems kind of fucked up to me. Common law?
Like, come on. I could have dated you for six months if it was
good enough. You still should owe me money if you don't really you
should get a couple of outfits for it a couple bucks yeah listen oh okay the guy goes i'm so
sorry there was someone else and you're like that's fine i'm gonna need like three skirts
two tops and a hat yeah call it a day yeah you know i might be an odd woman out on this one.
No, I'm with you.
I'm totally with you.
Pusha T himself backs you up on it.
Yeah, that's all that matters here.
Neiman's, chop it off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's talk over Mai Tais.
Waitress, top it off.
You don't cheat.
You fucking, you break up and then do what you want to do.
But you don't cheat.
Yeah.
That's how I feel.
Funny hoes in a ball of dudes matrix.
I honestly don't know if you're talking or quoting something.
Quoting Pusha T.
I'm getting you back with my favorite rapper.
He's using his friend Pusha to help get you back.
As like pros.
Pusha T.
Pusha T.
Blue Cantrell, that's a great pick.
That was, her voice was great.
Not on my list.
Especially that song.
Hey ladies. And immediately you're like, yeah? Yeah. my list. That's, especially that song. Hey ladies.
And immediately you're like,
yeah?
Yeah.
What?
I'm sorry,
what Blue?
Who, me?
What?
Turn the radio off,
what?
Because somebody says like,
hey fellas,
yeah,
we don't get that.
Yeah,
that's true.
We don't get calm responses.
It's usually a dude
like kind of condescending.
Yeah,
like,
oh ladies.
It's like,
I know I just said,
hey fellas,
yeah.
The only one is,
I'm not going to say it,
it's going to spoil another pick. It'll come up later. Well, you're about to make another pick. Yeah, fellas. Yeah. The only one is, I'm not going to say it. It's going to spoil another pick.
All right.
That'll come up later.
Well, you're about to make another pick.
Yeah, your next pick is right now.
Oh, I get to pick the next one?
Sure thing.
Serpentine.
Serpentine draw.
Why can I not understand this?
This is now my third time doing this.
Okay.
It's like a snake slithering.
Okay, guys.
It's serpentine.
This fucks me up because I don't want to pull from the same era.
These are all from the 90s.
I know.
Most of these.
Okay, I'm going very modern not
star spangled banner i'm going
that's from the 70s you're right that's from the 70s
i'm go oh you know what no fuck this i'm sorry ian i'm going it's i'm going it's raining men
oh yeah oh man that was on mine i love that that song. I do, too. It's fantastic.
And...
Hi, we're the Weather Girls.
The Weather Girls is their actual band name.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've looked that up.
It's like they were like, let's have one hit and have our name be related to it.
I didn't know that until today when I looked it up.
They were built for a good, not a long time.
No.
Because they were like a couple of studio singers, right?
I think so.
Okay, I need you guys to stop everything you're doing and watch the music video for that fucking song because i watched it six times in a row this morning at one point it's
insane it makes zero sense the men are just falling outside of a window and like it's raining
the like editing ability at the time wasn't good enough to make them the right size so it's just
like their heads are falling past the window and for some reason the men have raincoats on even though they are the rain
that's a really good point
why do they have raincoats on
and then at one point
like she's
it's a tight shot
of her face singing
and then at the end
of her like vocal phrase
they just turn it
into like a tiny frame
and it zooms away
from the screen
like you just want solitaire
whoa
I feel like there's a lot
of new wipes and stuff
oh yeah
like I feel like
wipe technology was new when that came out.
Yeah, they were using the toaster.
We used to call it in TV media, the toaster.
And they were trying to chroma key a lot of stuff that didn't quite work.
So at some point, half of the leg is just missing.
And you're like, you know what?
There's a part where she has her jacket open or something,
and it's just not done well.
No, no.
We got a deadline.
Get it out.
And it makes it so much better.
Man, I really do. That song's rude. That song is dope. It, we got a deadline. Get it out. It makes it so much better. Man, I really do.
That song's really.
That song is dope.
It bangs so hard.
Absolutely soaking wet.
No, I apologize if this is a dumb question.
God bless Mother Nature.
Where were they?
When did that song come out?
Oh, God.
70s?
I want to say 70s, but it might have been 80s.
I didn't look it up.
Where were they putting music videos before MTV?
That's a great question.
I always wondered that too.
Wonderful question.
The News?
I always wondered that.
Maybe it was later than that then.
Because there were videos from before. The always wondered that too. Wonderful question. The news? I always wondered that. Maybe it was later than that then. Because there are videos from before.
The 11 o'clock news.
Yeah.
This is Vinny Jackson.
That would be so funny though if you're watching it.
Yeah.
Someone's like, Karen, get down here.
With no end in sight for the Cambodian people.
In lighter news, the weather.
It must have been.
That was a fucking suicide bomber kills 30 anyway. in lighter news the weather this war has been waging for 20 bloody years the ethiopian countryside hasn't seen rain in over three years and now the jackson five
you know it must have been later than that then for that technology
well no but there were
music videos
it must have been
they were they made them
for other reasons too
yeah like
what
can anyone google
when this came out
Ian can
yeah it should be
written on my phone
because it's on my list
oh 1982
yeah
when was MTV 81
it feels like the 70s
but it's actually the 90s
oh the song had been
offered to Diana Ross
Donna Summer
Cher
and Barbra Streisand.
Can you imagine Barbra Streisand was like in that shit?
All four of those idiots turned it down?
I just can't imagine anyone without soul singing that song.
That's what made that song.
Cher would have blown it.
Yeah, she'd be like, it's raining red.
Cher's pretty cool, though.
Her's the coolest part.
Yeah, like it would have been terrible.
I think she could have.
Now that I'm thinking about her on that boat, and I'm like, Cher's got heart, though.
She does, but for that song, does she have the range? I'm thinking because I'm just thinking about her on that boat and I'm like Sarah's got heart though she does
but for that song
does she have the range
I don't know
it's hard because
the women who sing it
they sing the fuck out of it
yeah
they sang it
like it's dead
it's dead in the ground
it's rip into the range
it's rip
like rip into it
Beyonce only dreams
of that kind of drop off
it's rip
but like it sounds good
yeah it sounded great
oh man
I love that song.
And not ironically.
And also, like, the connotations, too.
It's like, for some reason, it's like a big gay anthem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which makes me love it even more.
Did you say, for some reason, it's a big gay anthem?
I mean, I feel like it should.
It's because of the men.
It's because of the men it's raining.
Listen, listen, listen.
Women like men, too, sometimes.
Sure.
So why is it not a women anthem?
It is that, too.
I just think it's not a sports bar anthem.
I have never been to, like, a cool nail salon for gals while they play It's Raining too. I have never been to a cool nail salon for gals
where they play It's Raining Men.
What do they play at the cool nail salon?
Bullshit, bougie.
You know who we get?
We get Natasha Bedingfield.
Oh, no thanks.
Like, hear the rain on your skin.
Oh, no.
This is the girl music.
Isn't that like a yogurt commercial?
That's what women get.
That sucks.
But then when we get songs that are like anthems,
it's like, no, that's for gays.
Not for you.
That's too powerful for a woman.
And these gays are taking your anthems.
I'm just saying.
I'm talking.
I wanted to ring that.
I'm talking way out of my pay grade.
They've had it too good for too long.
I didn't process what you just said.
These gays are taking your anthems.
David, boring.
It bonds us together more because we love the same songs.
Sure.
And I just want to say, as a woman.
And us too, by the way.
It feels like it's for me.
It is for you.
Especially when you watch the video and there's two women on the bed, not wearing particularly
flattering clothes, and then 30 very attractive men around them, just in underwear.
And you're like, yeah, finally.
Yeah, they're gonna.
Get us back for every rap video ever.
Just give us one, you know?
You know what The Weather Girls was called before?
So they changed their name to the Weather Girls.
Pam and Janet.
To release.
Did you say Pam and Janet?
Pam and Janet go to church.
Sure.
Pam and Janet is pretty close because they were called Two Tons of Fun.
Because they're overweight?
Yeah, because they're big fat ladies.
Oh, no.
Oh, man.
So they're just owning it.
I love that, too, by the way. Hell yeah, baby. Here we are. Oh, shit. Oh, man. So they're just owning it. I love that, too, by the way.
Hell yeah, baby.
Here we are.
Oh, shit.
I would love that if they named themselves.
I'm sure they did.
Shoot.
What'd you go shit about?
Wash is also noted for spurring legislation in the 1990s
that made vocal credits mandatory on CDs and music videos
after being denied proper credit and royalties
for the million-selling number one song,
Everybody Dance Now.
That's her?
She sang that?
That's the girl?
I remember that.
I said I didn't take that one.
I remember how big of a scandal that was.
It's Raining Men Lady.
What a figure in our lives.
Let's put her in the Lubega song.
Yeah.
You know?
A little bit of Martha Wash in my life.
You know?
She's like an impactful figure.
It also sounds like mouthwash when you say it.
Mouthwash.
It sounds like Charles Barkley has it for mouthwash.
It sounds like Charles Barkley has it for mouthwash.
Kenna, hand me that mouthwash.
Kenna, give me the mouthwash.
Oh.
Oh my God.
Mouthwash my tongue.
I had a Bieber and Bob for lunch.
I need some mouthwash.
Martha Wash, man. She made
that. She like fought for
the rights of singers. She did it.
She's a fucking hero. She's on your list.
That's tight. I love that.
Excellent Pickett's rating, man. I feel good about that.
Oof.
Can't believe it's back on me already.
This is tricky. What do we have?
Two left? How many do we get?
Two left.
This is my fourth one.
Man, I got...
All right.
All right.
I'm going to take...
God, this is such a hard draft.
There's people at home breaking stuff right now when they listen to this.
There's so many things I want.
I feel like we're going to have to do honorable mentions at the end just because people are going to be so mad.
I feel like...
You know what?
Fuck them.
I'm going to take... I'm going to take...
I'm going to take...
God damn.
It's tricky, dude.
God.
Okay, I'm going to take
Who Dat by JT Money.
Damn it!
I didn't even have that one.
I just wished that I had it
because that is such a good song.
Who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat, who dat.
Who dat, who dat, who dat, trying to get up in my crew?
Oh, man.
That video used to get me so hyped.
They were in, like, Future Jail.
Yes.
They were in Future Jail.
Who that old brand nigga trying to hang with the clique?
Oh, my God.
That song is nuts on that song.
And then what's Soleil?
The girl on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, that you would say you fucked Soleil.
Man, that song is so good.
It is a good ass song.
JT Murty.
I heard that song.
I was at my dad's houseboat.
And it came on MTV.
And I saw it and I was like, what the fuck is this?
And I started running around getting all hyped.
It was so good.
Before a football game? Dude, it was. I was ready for a football game. I started running around getting all hype. It was so good. Before a football game?
I was ready for a football game.
I could have drank the whole river.
It was like light started shooting out of every hole in my body,
including under my fingernail beds.
It was like.
I could have drank the whole river.
I have never heard this song.
JT Money, you've never heard that?
I've never even heard of JT Money.
Well, he was a real one hit wonder. If you haven't heard of JT Money. You've never heard that? I've never even heard of JT Money. Well, he was a real one-hit wonder.
If you haven't heard of Who Dat, then you haven't heard of JT Money.
Oh, man, that song was so good.
Ay-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya.
He's from Miami.
That was a song that my friends used to, they'd want to smoke weed in the car.
But there was like 10 songs.
It'd be like one of these needs to be playing before they would start smoking weed.
What year was it?
I don't know. 2001?
Yeah, it was 1999.
I bet you so many dudes
got knocked the fuck out.
Imagine when they used to play that at a
club or something and that one came on
and you're like, you know what?
I'm gonna go fucking say something to that dude.
Who that just came on?
Who that just came on?
I'm fucking am. fucking say something to that dude. Who that just came on? Who that just came on? I'm fucking am. I'm feeling myself.
That song is, whoa.
You just fucking, you slam your fucking head rock and go break a bottle on some dude's
face.
Oh, man.
That was a great pick, Ian.
That song.
I want to read some of the lyrics, but I'm not allowed to say any of these words.
Oh, they say nigga like 1,500 times and I'm crazy.
I feel like you bang with the click.
Oh, man.
Based on what you're singing, it sounds a lot like Raise Up by Petey Pablo.
I mean, it's in the same era.
There's better soul to JT Money than Petey Pablo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Petey Pablo sounds like more of a joke.
JT Money is way more just get punched right in the face music.
Yeah, JT Money is like just get robbed.
JT Money didn't look like he fucked around too much.
If I got punched in the face while it was playing i couldn't even be mad no you're like of course
sometimes you're that guy sometimes you're the guy punching oh i guess we're having a face
punching contest cool now it's my turn everybody we're just going to circle and have this face
punching contest uh sean jordan time to follow up the the closing time by semi sonic all right
we're going uh you know i'm gonna go on that same vein that you did.
I'm going to pick Onyx Slam.
Let the boys be boys.
Slam.
Don't be a nerd.
I've never heard it.
I don't know how to know any of these songs.
These all came a little bit before your time.
Is that what it is?
I was born in 89.
Yeah.
I'm too young?
Maybe not.
You were four.
I doubt you were listening to Slam because you would have been four.
Maybe. You would have been a buck ass four. I was you were listening to Slam because you would have been four. Maybe.
You would have been a buck-ass four.
I was listening to that song when it was out.
I've only ever listened to rap, though.
That was the first hard-ass I want to fight somebody song that I ever heard.
Slam by Anika.
How does it go?
It's so scary.
Slam.
Do-do-da.
Do-do-da.
Let the boys be boys.
A little trivia here.
Oh, maybe I've heard that.
They're not just saying da-da-da. They're saying throw it up. Oh, really?'ve heard that. They're not just saying da-da-da.
They're saying throw it up.
Oh, really?
I didn't know that.
Throw it up.
Throw it up.
I didn't know that.
And unless you got ten sticky fingers, that's meditation.
A fragment of your imagination.
But wait, it gets worse.
From that point on, something dying of thirst coming through with the plan.
Words need a little bit of work here.
Bulletproof plan.
Unless you got ten sticky fingers.
Well, the guy's name is Sticky Fingers.
Sticky Fingers.
Sticky Fingers. He's really scary, though.
It didn't fit the line, though.
And like, it's a rap song?
I think you need to see Onyx
to know how scary they are.
They shot a gun at the Sorcerer Awards.
I thought you were going to say
at a sorcerer.
Somebody needs to.
They shot a gun at a sorcerer.
I was like, at a sorcerer?
Fuck!
Was that on Back to Fuck Up?
The 90s were crazy. 90s were nuts. And then they had another song that was sorcerer. Fuck. Was that on Back to Fuck Up? The 90s were crazy.
90s were nuts.
And then they had another song that was not a hit, but it was called Back to Fuck Up.
And it goes, back to fuck up, back to fuck up.
Most of the lyrics were back to fuck up.
He just really wants someone to get off his ass.
And then the one guy was on Moesha.
No, I loved Moesha.
Was it Fred Roe Star?
Q.
Wasn't he?
He's from Onyx.
Q's in Onyx!
It's all coming together now!
Yeah, I'm glad that we could...
You live in this world.
I'm glad that we could connect that.
Okay.
Okay, I have some point of reference now for Onyx.
You know what?
I'm looking up the lyrics, and it just says da-da-da.
That's what I always thought.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't do this.
You just fucking, like, what is that called when you think something's true
and then it becomes true in your mind?
What is that called?
Like, we all did with the Berenstain Bears.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That theory.
Mass psychosis.
Come on, there's a word for it.
No one knows it.
Serendipity?
No.
It's not serendipity.
Okay, I'm...
It's gonna be right one of these days.
I guess I'll abandon it.
You just keep saying...
Yo, what's that movie about that dessert place
in New York?
Serendipity?
Oh, that's the one.
Like, did everyone think
that Shaq was in Shazam?
But it was called Kazam
and that never happened?
Sinbad.
Right?
No, Shaq was in Kazam
but people thought
Mandela.
Mandela!
There it is.
Wait, is Nelson Mandela
not real?
No.
No.
There's another one that-
Gandhi, dude.
I gotta go.
I gotta go do some shit.
I don't know if this is true, but I've heard in Silence of the Lambs, he never actually
says hello, Clarice.
He doesn't.
He does.
No, he doesn't.
He does, too.
He doesn't.
See, I've heard-
I've seen it so many times.
He doesn't say it.
I've heard that it's just something that we made up as a culture, but he never actually
says hello, Clarice.
He doesn't.
Are you kidding?
There's no balcony in Romeo and Juliet.
The Monopoly man doesn't have a monocle.
I read all this on crack.com today.
Because he says
like, hello, Agent Starling, or whatever,
but never says hello, Clarice.
Like, that. You just fucked
my mind, and I did not allow that
to happen. I've never done that before.
I don't feel good about it, and I really
feel bad that I've sent it at least 15 times, and I
really thought he said that.
But if both of you are saying he doesn't,
I'm inclined to believe you. You should listen to Slam after this, because then you're
going to be a different person. Then you're going to walk
two blocks down the skid row and just start killing people.
No, you should listen to JT Money after this.
Around here, yeah, sure. The Eisel.
Oh, man.
I can't count on Eho's picks, because I don't know these fucking songs.
So, Slam. Well, Slam, On Because I don't Know these fucking songs So Slam
Well Slam Onyx
That's my number four
Slam by Onyx
Is a good one
Slam will make you
Do like knuckle pushups
While somebody's
Feeding whiskey
Yeah you gotta get
Buffed to that song
Hard fucking song
Okay
Good for my
Pop physique class
Yeah yeah
Oh yeah
Big pop physique
Yeah yeah
Big pop physique
You pop that
Fucking physique
Yeah
They would
I bet you
They know
Pop off physique It'll give you A big butt bet you they'd know. Pop off physique.
He'll give you a big butt.
Did you hear that?
What?
The pop off physique.
Oh, there it is.
That's going to be maybe a knockoff.
Yeah.
Just rap music themed.
Pop off physique?
Yeah.
I think that's got a huge market.
Could be Russian too.
Pop off physique.
Pop off.
Everybody slams vodka and it doesn't look that good.
Slam.
Pop vodka.
We just get together and drink.
Eat borscht. Oh. Oh, good. Sure. We just get together and drink. Eat borscht.
Oh, man.
Okay, I'm going to go.
My fourth pick.
Weird one.
Get out of town.
I don't know if you guys
are even going to remember it.
Okay.
Do you remember the rapper
Silky Fine?
Yeah.
And she had that song
Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah.
You've never heard of
Romeo and Juliet?
Like Romeo and Juliet. Hot sex on've never heard of Romeo and Juliet? Romeo and Juliet.
Hot sex on the planet just to get you wet.
You're about to get something you'll never regret.
And it's going to be the bomb.
This is what I bet.
Yup.
Wow.
Dude, I used to sing that song.
I love that song.
I used to sing that song.
Didn't know what any of that meant.
Is that what you tell us now
that you two are Silky Fine
yeah
it's us
it's us
boom Silky Fine
that was a man right
I've never heard that song
I thought it was a girl
it was a girl
was it
she had a low voice
she just had a deep ass voice
okay
but there was like
so much in that
I remember singing that song
and there was so much in it
that I didn't
I thought Aspinani
was one word because that song, and there was so much in it that I didn't under... I thought Aspinani was one word.
Because that song...
Because the way she says it, she's like, that bomb Aspinani.
Just the way she stretches it out.
What language is this?
What is Aspinani?
But yeah, that whole song, I used to sing the shit out of it all the time.
I didn't know what any of it... That bomb As the time. I didn't know what any of it meant.
98, dude.
It hit number one on the US Hot Rap Singles chart.
It was a big deal.
Number six on the Billboard Hot 100.
How do I not know that song?
I've never heard this in my life.
Dude, we'll play a clip afterward.
You've never heard that song?
I don't think so.
It's like Romeo and Juliet.
It's like dirty.
It's so dirty.
It's like Cypress Hill, where's like dirty. It's so dirty.
Like Cypress Hill,
where it made you feel kind of weird to listen to it.
Yeah, a lot of those early R&B songs.
They must have not played it at the church last synagogue that Sean and I went to.
Spent most of our teens in.
I remember listening to that song and Next a lot.
Too Close, the bonus song.
Oh, I love that song.
Making it hard for me.
Wait, what are we doing?
Honorable mentions already?
No, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
So sorry, so sorry.
Just those songs where you listen to it and you're like, this is bad.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel weird.
I do remember when I figured out, yeah, that is a Boner song.
That's crazy that this whole song about a grown man getting a Boner where he shouldn't be getting a Boner.
Hey.
Control him.
Baby, when you're grinding him.
Yeah.
I get so excited.
I don't get that excited.
Makes a monster so bad sexually. I've never grind get so excited. I don't get that excited.
Ex-monsters are so bad sexually.
I've never grinded that hard.
I'd feel too forceful doing that.
What about junior high school?
Come on, end of the year dance?
Oh, man.
I got boners from slow dancing because you had time to think about how tight it would
be to have sex, but I never got boners from grinding.
You didn't get to grind hard?
I don't think you were getting it like you should have.
No.
In Sioux Falls, South Dakota, you don't think we were grinding like we should have?
I think maybe your chaperones were like, keep that Bible
between ya. You weren't able to get
to that point. Because junior high school, I was
popping off.
Pop off physique.
Your physique was popping
off.
Romeo and Juliet by Silky Fun.
How are we following that up with your final
pick? And this is a final.
This is kind of cheating because everybody else on this song has hits.
But if it's not the main artist, I think it's fine.
It's not the main artist.
Do you remember that song Can I Get A from the Rush Hour soundtrack?
Can I Get A what?
Yeah, first appearance of a young Ja Rule.
Everybody thought it was DMX.
Everybody thought it was DMX.
Ja Rule's verse on that song, so hard.
That's not a Jay-Z song?
That's not a Jay-Z song.
It's Emile, the girl.
And she also goes pretty hard.
How are we going to get around your bus pass before I put this pussy on your mustache?
That's a Jay-Z song.
No, it's not.
It's Emile.
It's Emile?
No, it's not.
It's Emile.
It sounded like you were talking about.
No, I'm pretty sure.
No, but do you get sounded like the pussy on the mustache?
You were just calling it a meal.
Can we get a judge's ruling on this?
This is a Jay-Z song, according to the internet.
I'm looking at the internet, too, and it says it was a meal song.
I mean, if that's not her song, she was a really heavily featured.
Fine.
Eagle Eye Cherry, Save Tonight.
Frankly better, by the way.
I just like it
I just like that
I just like that song
fight the break up
don't come
to my room
that's like your
high school graduation
song
that was like
the high school
graduation song
you know what
they didn't play it
we played fucking
Vitamin C
no
so cliche
we had Green Day
go on
yeah
hey did anyone choose that one, though?
Because that would be a good last pick.
No, it would be a good last pick.
No, Vitamin C had another hit song.
She did.
She did?
Yes, she did.
She had another big-ass song before that.
That big?
Yeah.
Pretty big.
I can't remember it, but it was that big.
No, if you can't name it, it wasn't that big.
Them rules.
Did you say Green Day was yours?
You guys did Time of Your Life?
Yeah.
I feel like Good Riddance, I mean, I feel like that was like the one we all should have
played.
Yeah, but it was the year I graduated.
Put a smile on your face.
Make the world a better place.
Was that Vitamin C?
No.
I want you on at all.
Say, I want you on at all.
Oh, yeah.
That was, yeah.
That was a smile on your face.
Eagle Eye Cherry.
That's a dope ass song.
Yeah, the song's just good.
Yeah, I enjoy that one.
Also, what the fuck does Eagle Eye Cherry mean?
He's got, an eagle's got a cherry for an eye?
It's actually, he likes that song where they say Chicka Cherry Cola.
Oh.
Chicka Cherry Cola.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
Eagle Eye Cherry Cola?
Yeah, I'm just making fun of that.
His last name is Cherry.
His sister is Nina Cherry, who has that song Buffalo Stance.
Hang on, are you doing a bit or is this for real?
No, this is real.
Okay.
When he was growing up, he like, he like would like look at stuff with like one eye so his dad started
calling him eagle eye
nah fuck you
I swear it's real
oh so that's a nickname
that's a nickname
eagle eye
no way
his last name's cherry
and he has an eagle
also wait
that's not what eagle eye
means
eagle eye means
you have like
sharp vision
what do you want me to tell you
his dad was probably
Swedish
what do you want me to tell you
they were a bunch of
foolish Swedes.
Yeah, Papa Cherry.
Check this out.
I think you told me the other day.
Buck Cherry is just Chuck Berry switched around.
Sure.
I didn't know that.
That's why they did that?
Was it you that told me this?
Wait, what does Buck Cherry sing?
I thought Buck Cherry was a thing.
That your favorite song isn't Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry?
No, I knew a girl who that was her ringtone.
God, what a name.
Her ringtone?
Her ringtone.
Shout out Ashley Grimes.
Actually, one of the funniest women I've ever known in my whole life.
She's so funny.
That was...
So funny.
I can believe that about Eagle Eye Cherry.
That sounds fun.
Fuck it, damn.
Man, there's way too many.
So, yeah, that was my last one.
That might be my weirdest five picks.
So, wait, can we summarize what the fuck you picked?
I only remember it was a Star Trek or a Bear.
We will.
We'll go over it at the end.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to jump the gun.
Don't jump that gun.
Sean Jordan, closing it out.
There are a lot of ones left on here.
There's a lot of grapes on the vine still.
And you guys haven't made fun of me yet.
Normally, I have a pick where they make fun of me.
You just disagreed.
You didn't make fun of me. Okay, true. I didn't make fun of you. So, I'm going to get made fun of is yet. Normally I have a pick where they make fun of me. You just disagreed. You didn't make fun of me.
Okay, true.
I didn't make fun of you.
So I'm going to get made fun of is what I'm going to do right now.
And I'm going to pick Crazy Town Butterfly.
No.
Come on.
You didn't like that song, though.
I was really hoping no one would choose that.
You did.
You didn't like that song.
You chose that to be annoying.
You love the movie Orange County?
I'm being combative is what I'm doing.
I don't think you love that song.
There are so many better songs.
You like so many cool rap songs. I don't think you did like that song. are so many better songs. You like so many cool rap songs.
I don't think you did like that song.
He's getting exactly what he wants right now.
He's getting exactly what he wants right now.
Yeah, I was just trying to be a shit, you know?
Trying to be a dickhead.
I can tell because that song fucking blows.
No one liked that song even when it was out.
Nobody liked that song.
Although, I will say, somebody liked it enough to put them in the video for We Ate.
Go win.
They were in that video?
My puff daddy at the very end.
They're the new people moving in.
Are they skinheads?
They feel like skinheads.
No, but they got mad tweaked out.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were just a couple idiots.
One of them kind of looks like Ben Stiller, which I always thought was funny.
What's your favorite part of the song?
Butterfly.
Yeah, what's your favorite?
When she's got her love and she's got this frog
with her tongue ring.
I don't really like that song.
I was just trying to be kind of a...
And also, it does fit under One Hit Wonders
as a very good one-hit wonder.
They are...
Except that nobody even liked that song.
Didn't the music video look like...
Tons of people liked that song.
Like What Dreams May Come a Little Bit. You just weren't in South Dakota to see the music video look like what dreams may come over?
You just weren't in South Dakota to see the people who looked like those fools.
The girl in that video, though.
Banging.
Fine.
I don't even remember the video.
Oh, they were in a field.
It was very tungsten in color.
Dude had his nipples pierced.
And the other guy had a dare shirt on who looked like Ben Stiller.
And then the girl was like a fairy.
I'm looking up this crazy town, right?
Yeah, with a K.
The opening like...
Crazy town with a K.
Oh, like the
Cottonmouth.
Totally.
KMK's?
Like truly just the sound.
Crazy town with a C.
Is it really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how I know
you don't even like this song.
Do you want to pick
another pick
that you've gotten yelled at
or do you want to stick to it?
I didn't know
I was going to get yelled at that much.
You did know.
You knew.
You knew.
You don't even like that song.
Crash Test Dummies.
Okay, now that's a song.
That's a good song.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Is it?
Wait, is that?
Wait, which one?
That is a good song.
I love that song.
Is that the one?
Is that the?
Yes, there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't come to school.
Are you a baritone?
What's that thing?
Everybody thought he had three testicles.
There was a big thing going around about that guy.
Not everybody.
Well, Kelly Jordan did.
That's like your lead selling point of this song.
Kelly Jordan did.
That song was pretty cool, man.
That song's fantastic.
And then the girl, remember?
She had birthmarks all over her body.
It was a good message.
The song had a good message, too.
Yeah, I like that song.
I don't give a fuck.
It was a bad song.
It was a good song.
I feel like he's-
He doesn't even sing.
He's just talking like a-
I feel like you're still riding hard off that Crazy Town.
Yeah, yeah, that was a complete-
Maybe I'm projecting some Crazy'm about that action i love this
song i don't like any of these songs ironically like any song that any of us have said i think
are all great like actually good running to i would work out to these songs marissa are they
big in canada okay you never heard of the crash test zombies they're canadian they're canadian
they're from winnipeg yeah i've never've never heard of them. I like... They have the Superman song, too.
I've never heard of them.
Once there was this...
Oh, was the Superman the...
No.
The Superman went up.
Once there was this hero
who flew around with a cape
and fought a bunch of bad guys.
That's recital of the song.
Don't talk about it.
Yeah, they did a bunch of stuff.
Yeah.
They did advertisements.
Uh-huh.
Mmm, Coca-Cola.
Pour it up and drink a glass
and give some to your best friend.
Yeah, they had a lot of songs.
They got into activism once.
Once there was a dictator.
No, I hate it.
His wife bought a bunch of shoes
and he enslaved the Philippines. No, I hate it. His wife bought a bunch of shoes and he enslaved the Philippines.
No, I hate it.
I'm not on board.
You don't think he has one of the better voices of our time?
Do you?
No, I'm just saying.
I really do like the song.
I do like that song.
I like that song.
Can you tell me why you like that song?
It takes me back to fifth grade probably.
No, nostalgia doesn't count. Why do you actually like that song. Can you tell me why you like that song? It takes me back to fifth grade. Okay, no, nostalgia doesn't count.
Why do you actually like the song?
Well, if I take nostalgia out of there, then I don't know why I like most of the stuff I like.
What?
You can't be like, this is objectively good?
I think it's a pretty good song.
If it came out now, I still think I'd like it.
His voice is haunting, too.
Yeah, but in a spooky way.
He's talking to you like you're in a Disney ride.
Sometimes it feels good to do a Disney ride.
It's true. Yeah, he could do a Disney ride. You're in like a Disney ride sometimes it feels good to do a Disney ride that's true
yeah he could do
a Disney ride
you're like
in the Haunted Mansion
he's like
once there was
a man who died
and you're like
oh no
if I were in
the Haunted Mansion
I'd be like
what a good song
and I'm in
the Haunted Mansion
honestly the Haunted Mansion
has a banging song
already though
like we don't need
to replace it
alright crash test dummies
great pick
is that the name
of the song?
Yeah.
Again, a big, big point of evidence as to why that song is not good is that the name is mmm.
If you listen to that song near enough the speaker, it'll give you a massage.
Or make you cum.
Or make you cum.
Like in Howard Stern's song.
Yeah, like Jenna Jameson in Howard Stern.
There you go.
Oh, was that Jenna Jameson?
I think so.
Oh, cool.
I thought it was Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, she was also. Oh, cool. I thought it was Jenny McCarthy.
Yeah, she was also in Moesha.
I don't think Jenny McCarthy was doing that yet.
I don't think she was at that level.
Which one was in Moesha?
The one from Onyx, right?
I'm having such a hard time with this next pick.
It's the fucking hardest thing in the world.
Miel, you still have a pick to go.
Yeah.
So I'm going to, but I want to, okay, I'll just comment on what I was going to pick.
Okay.
After you pick. It probably would not be what I was going to pick. I want to, okay, I'll just comment on what I was going to pick after you pick.
It probably would not be what I was going to pick.
I bet it won't be.
Okay.
I wanted to pick.
What I wanted to do is I wanted to pick.
Basically, I'll get in six picks.
Tell me if this is what you were going to pick and then I'll lock myself into it.
Okay.
I was going to pick Genius of Love by the Tom Tom Club.
Nope, it's all yours.
Okay, good.
You know that song?
Yeah.
It's one where I carry
a sample. Yeah.
What you gonna do when you get out of jail?
I'm gonna have some fun. I thought that was a Blondie
song. No, it's Tom Fife.
Yeah. It's such a good song.
I have a James Brown.
James Brown. It's weird as fuck.
And it's about like an abusive drug dealer
boyfriend, but it's like this crazy song.
Yeah, it's nuts. Can you understand that girl?
Yeah.
Who needs a beat when your feet just go?
Yeah.
I'm gonna have supper.
Because the reason that's kind of not a one-hit wonder is that's just the talking heads without
David Byrne.
Oh, is that true?
Yeah.
So he would just go off stage and it's just like, that's the Tom Tom thing.
I learned something today.
Oh, it's really funny.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
And they have other songs.
They aren't that great.
Okay, so honorable mention.
Get to your own like that.
Honorable mention that.
But what I'm actually going to pick,
thank you for, yeah.
What I really want to pick is Love Fool by the Cardigans.
Oh, good classic.
I don't know that song.
It's such a good song.
You know that song.
Love me, love me, say that you love me.
Leave me, leave me, just go on.
Fear, I fear we're facing
a problem
you love me
I don't care
about anything
but you
I love that song
yeah that song
wasn't too much for me
no
that song's so good
it's kind of a background song
kids are going for me
I like it
is it really
Cruel Intentions soundtrack
was that on the
Cruel Intentions soundtrack
when that song comes on
volume goes up windows go down oh shit i feel
like i downloaded that on like napster but it was labeled as no doubt sure i can see the one of those
i had songs like that where i was like i would say it was the artist that my napster account said it
was yeah that one that was like this is a story river and drown the whole world is this third eye blind who is this
I have a feeling
I forget which listener
shout out to you
who like
hit me up on twitter
and was like
I love all your drafts
until the last pick
and then you lose me
every single time
that's hilarious
this was post eggs
and like
that's such a good pick though
eggs blew my fucking dick off
I feel like I'm mad
on it again
no way
I love loveful
I think it's great
but yeah I fucking love I fuck with loveful I don't feel like it fuck mad about it again. No way. I love Love Fool. I think it's great. But yeah, I fucking love, I fuck with Love Fool.
I don't feel like it fucks with the other songs.
Yeah, it's not as a, it's not such a banger.
It doesn't, it's not a banger.
It doesn't fit quite in.
But that's personal.
Sometimes you gotta go.
We're going out on a breeze.
Yeah, you gotta, yeah.
It's an ambiance track.
It's a cool breeze on a summer night.
I almost closed with a song from the Rush Hour soundtrack.
You know what I mean?
You tried to.
I swear to God I thought that was an amazing track.
No, it's a Jigga song. It's on the Jay-Z album. No, it's on the Rush Hour soundtrack. You know what I mean? You tried to. I swear to God, I thought that was an amazing song. No, it's a Jigga song.
It's on a Jay-Z album.
No, it's on the Rush Hour soundtrack.
No, it's on a Jay-Z album, too.
They double dipped?
It's on Hard Knock Life,
the first one, right?
I'm pretty sure,
because I had that,
and I remember that song from there.
I never had the Rush Hour soundtrack,
I'll tell you that.
It also appears on,
oh yeah, Volume 2, Hard Knock Life.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Miel Breda.
Breda, throw me the frisbee.
Listen, okay, I had
two here before the one I think I'm gonna go
with that I was sure were gonna get picked
and they didn't. Which ones?
Baby Got Back.
I don't really like that song. Are you kidding?
It's become a cartoon for me.
Yeah, there's better butt songs from rap.
There's a lot of great butt songs.
Are you kidding?
Clappers.
Yeah.
Also, my anaconda does want some,
even if it's not a big butt.
It's the most body...
Okay, you know what?
It is body positive.
The other one...
You're talking to some body positive guys.
This is Curvy Boy's territory.
Three dudes, 800 pounds.
Oh, yeah.
You're looking at a Volkswagen Beetle right now.
I'm honestly so mad I can't laugh.
I'm so mad you guys don't like that song.
Let's do a comedy trio album.
I don't hate it.
And like Seattle represent.
Sure.
I know.
It's not terrible.
I'm more of a Posse on Broadway guy.
Also, I just found out he's not actually knighted.
He's just mixed a lot in the sir thing he just made up
that's an anglophile i can't respond to that i refuse to respond to that
okay the other one i'm not choosing but i deeply considered was escape aka the pina colada song
oh yeah nothing else because of the lyrical fun. That song is so fun.
The twist and the reveal.
People don't do that anymore.
But I'm not choosing
either of those.
They forgot why
they loved each other.
They did,
and then they remembered
by trying to cheat on each other.
Yeah.
I'm not choosing either of those
because they're too predictable
and too obvious,
and I'm going rogue,
and I'm choosing Gautier,
somebody I used to know.
Whoa.
And that was like 2013
or something.
It's recent.
That just happened. Okay. You know what? He could have another hit still. I doubt it. We don to know. Whoa. And that was like 2013 or something. It's recent. That just happened.
Okay.
You know what?
He could have another hit still.
I doubt it.
We don't know.
I feel like that maybe
is the most recent
one hit wonder.
I'm thinking I might have found it.
That's huge.
I get maybe.
But also it feels like
the follow up window's closed.
I kind of think so too.
A little bit.
Like what's Goatee up to?
And you know what?
I listened to a couple
of other tracks on the album.
That album is kind of good
but nothing bangs like some of the other ones. You know what might be the next one? Take Me to a couple of other tracks on the album. That album is kind of good, but nothing bangs like some of you.
You know what might be the next one?
Take Me to Church.
I don't think we're hearing anything else from Hozier.
Hozier?
I don't think we're hearing anything else from Hozier.
You know, we're friends on Twitter.
Like, we DM regularly.
Ask him what he's up to and if he has any new songs.
I bet not.
He just did the song for the Tarzan soundtrack.
For the Tarzan soundtrack?
Yeah.
And he, I wasn't going to make a joke about Take Me to Church.
When you become friends with a kind of famous person, you're not about to reference their
famous thing, you know?
So I'm like playing it cool, whatever.
And then he mentioned it.
But like as a joke, though.
And it was actually really funny.
And I was like, are you making fun of your own success?
Like what's happening?
So I hope it's not a one hit wonder.
So you fuck with Hozier.
He said that you should do it on this podcast?
I should, right?
That's what he said? Like in the joke you told him you were doing? Oh, no. Okay do it on this podcast i should right that that's what he
said like in the joke you told him you're doing oh no okay he loves this podcast he brought it out
i was saying i was mentioning something about not believing in god and he was like oh ha ha well i
mean come on i got taken to church am i right and i was like oh yeah i think we've heard the last
from old andrew hosier burn. He's a nice guy, though.
Hope the best for him.
I do, too.
I do, too.
But Goatee, though, that fucking song, still when it comes on, I'm like, oh, this song.
But then one verse in, I'm like, okay, where's the chorus?
Here it comes.
Yeah, you still want to hear it.
And you're like, somebody.
Like, you can't not.
Yeah.
It's good.
It is good.
And then when she comes in and those harmonies, and you're like, here we go. Fuck, here we go. You can't not. Yeah. It's good. It is good. And then when she comes in and those harmonies and you're like, here we go.
Fuck.
Here we go.
You can't not get amped.
I mean, it's like the whitest way to get amped, but still.
It's no JT Money.
No, it's not.
No, it's not JT Money.
Not even Cousins.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that song is great.
Yeah.
I still think it's good.
And also, what other fucking song has broken top 40 that doesn't have a first chorus?
He's like, I'm going to make you wait like two minutes.
It doesn't get good for a while.
No.
What are the first, how does that song start?
Now and then I think of when we were together.
Oh, yeah.
And he just stays in that creepy low place for like so long.
And then all of a sudden he jumps up on fucking octave like he's Michael Bolton.
I don't know who this guy is.
He's like Australian?
Yeah, it does.
That part is good.
It's crazy good.
And his voice is like the tone of his voice.
He's not yelling.
You're like American Idol, man.
The picture of Go-Yay, at least on Wikipedia, he looks like Minnesota Timberwolves point guard.
Ricky Rubio.
He looks like Ricky Rubio?
He's from Belgium.
Is he from Melbourne? He's kind of hot except for that one tooth. Oh, he's 36. Ricky Rubio. He looks like Ricky Rubio. He's from Belgium. Is he from? Melbourne.
He's kind of hot
except for that one tooth.
Oh, he's 36.
Ricky Rubio's fucking beautiful.
Yeah, Ricky Rubio
is a beautiful man.
How do you spell Gautier?
G-O-T-Y-E.
That isn't nearly as good.
Were you trying to make it
way more complicated?
Yeah.
I thought there were some R's in there
like Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Guglielmo.
Amazing pick.
I'm going to go over the picks again real quick.
Please.
David Borey.
Star Spangled Banner by Francis Scott Key.
Fuck.
No More by 3LW.
Mbop by Hanson.
Romeo and Juliet by Silk E. Fine.
And then Saved Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry.
So fun to hear him went in a list like that.
Okay, I want to know, can you just tell me who you think the listener is to that mixtape me you it's just you it's just my well
it's like i got up in the morning i'm making breakfast gonna go on a walk in a little bit
but i'm eating oatmeal you still got an amp for the day so you start with star speckled banner
i just well i you know i woke up in america Patriot. Like I usually do. Patriot alert. Yeah. You could win for president.
Sean Jordan, you started with This Is How We Do It by Montel Jordan, your cousin, Montel
Jordan.
Then Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bob McFerrin.
Closing Time by Semisonic.
Slam by Onyx.
Good list.
By Crash Test Dummies.
I do feel like that's a strong list.
That is a solid list.
That's a strong one.
That's a strong list. Ian Carmel, What's That's a strong one. That's a strong list.
Ian Carmel, What's Up by Four Non Blondes.
Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor.
Heavy.
Deja Vu, Uptown Baby by Lord Tariq and Peter Guns.
Kudet by JT Money.
And then somehow Love Fool by The Cardigans.
Wow.
That is a weird group.
That's a roller coaster right there.
I want all those artists in the same room.
I go hot and cold, man.
Coachella in 1995.
Miel Bredo, you won Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band.
Fuck yeah.
Then Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega.
Hit Em Up Style by Blue Cantrell.
We get well soon.
It's Raining Men by the Weather Girls.
And then Somebody I Used to Know by Goat.
Yeah.
That's a solid pick.
Do you know what song I really wanted to pick
but there's just no room for it?
Let the Dogs Out?
Inside Out by Eve Six.
Oh, that wasn't one hit.
I would swallow my pride.
I would talk on the rhyme.
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt.
Turn it inside out.
It was a little less yucky.
That's crazy.
That's crazy too because my class song was an Eve inside out. It was a little less yucky. That's crazy. That's crazy too
because my class song
was an Eve Six song.
Really?
Here's to the night.
Oh, they did have two hits.
Did they have two hits?
Here's to the night,
we felt alive.
Yeah, that was also
a high school band.
New Radicals, Dishwalla.
Yeah.
The wonders from that thing you do.
Bittersweet Symphony.
Oh, could you do that?
Yeah, I think so.
That was a fucking one
that I wondered. The Ghostbusters song for? Yeah, I think so. That was a fucking one that wondered.
The Ghostbusters song, for sure.
When I drafted,
when I thought of the Star Spangled Banner,
I was like, let's just go really crazy.
So I also had the Crossfire.
That's that.
You get caught up in the Crossfire.
Is that commercial?
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm loving it.
Oh, yeah.
Justin Timberlake and Pusha T.
I guess that's not technically a one-hit.
How Bizarre by OMC.
Oh, that's a good song.
Is that a Chevy 69?
No one said the Macarena.
No.
No?
Well, who wants it?
They can have it.
You don't want to listen to that song again, right?
I mean, I don't know.
If we're going nostalgia purposes.
I didn't even like those two guys.
I just liked it when the ladies sang on that song.
Los Del Rios or whatever?
Did your guys' elementary school make you learn
that dance
for months
in the auditorium
yeah
for some reason
we all
we learned the
electric slide
in the hustle too
that makes
way more sense
the electric slide
like at a party
you gotta be able
to do that
yeah
I learned the
Macarena in high school
cause that's how old
I was
nice
47 right
or you know what
honorable mention
thong song
oh yeah
and fucking
who let the dogs out
and Natalie Imbruglia
torn
oh yeah
she didn't have another song
no I thought she did too
she deserved it
lying naked on the floor baby
that's how we left her
apparently
Natalie Imbruglia
gets after it
she lives her life
to the full extent of it
I don't understand
what you're referencing
she just goes big like I don't understand what you're referencing.
She just goes big.
She's fucking all over the place, having fun.
Oh, you want to go home? Still partying and shit.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, she's just living it up.
Cool, cool, cool.
I love it.
I'm here for Natalie and Brulia enjoying every part of her life.
That has been that episode of All Fantasy Everything.
That is how we do it. We did it. And that's the way it was. And that's of All Fantasy Everything. That is how we do it.
We did it.
And that's the way it was.
And that's the way it was.
Tune in next week for another brand newbie episode.
Speaking of one hit wonders, do they even have one?
I don't know.
I don't think they do.
I don't think so.
Of All Fantasy Everything. that was a hate gun podcast