All Fantasy Everything - One Word Movies (w/ Jensen Karp, Sean Jordan and David Gborie)
Episode Date: September 7, 2017Brevity is the soul of fantasy drafting. Okay, it's not. Most of our episodes are two hours long, but it IS this week, baaaaaybaaaaaaaay. The Good Vibes Crew is back together, and joined by w...riter/author/rapper/bon vivant/all-around-major-dude Jensen Karp. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to All Fantasy Everything.
Is that how I start all of them?
Right there, right?
Welcome to another brand... There it is.
I knew something fell down.
You hit it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
You want to try it like Mariah Carey?
Like do like a...
The listeners can feel that my hand's going up and down as I sing it.
And his brow is furrowed.
Try your hardest to hit one of those like...
That's technically better than Mary J. Blige.
We have a longstanding beef with with her this podcast so yeah enemy enemy
the podcast mary j blige what do they call her the queen of hip-hop soul is that what it is wait
we are we're beefing with marriage i can't as of right now dude can i tell you my mary j i'll tell
you my mary j feelings yes my theory on mary j is that people think she's a great singer because
she's emotional and screaming right but she she at one time was a very good singer.
It's just that ship has passed.
Oh, she doesn't have the pipes anymore.
No.
Just so people know, just so the Mary J. Blige says,
that's Jansen Carp.
Oh, I will take it.
I will gladly take it.
I can't.
I will gladly.
I mean, guys, in 2017, Mary J. Blige isn't like a Rihanna fan.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, they're not going to spam me.
The Hive is not.
They'll come after you on MySpace, though.
Yeah, yeah. I think that're not going to spam me. The Hive is not... They'll come after you on MySpace, though.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that they're heavy in MySpace.
The official all-fantasy opinion on Mary Jane Lodge,
I think, if I can speak for...
She was on Entourage,
so she's okay with us.
Fair.
Yeah.
Fair.
What, did I watch the pilot today?
Did you watch the pilot of Entourage?
I did watch the pilot of Entourage.
Then I walked out to 101 Degree Day
in the city of Los Angeles where they filmed Entourage.
The television program Entourage.
Well, LA, Aspen.
The popular Adrian Gagnevi.
Yeah, Earth Cafe.
Yeah, those are the three places.
Aspen, LA, and Earth Cafe.
Those are the three places they filmed Entourage.
Principality.
Oh, and then they go to Park City?
They went to Park City?
Oh, maybe it is Park City.
They just fucking spent a bazillion dollars in Park City.
Did you say Queens Boulevard?
Are you kidding me? Oh, hold on. Park City. They just fucking spent a bazillion dollars in Park City. Did you say Queens Boulevard? Are you kidding me?
Hold on.
I am Queens Boulevard.
I know that this is a very ballers-friendly podcast.
It is a ballers-friendly podcast.
I'm a fan of this podcast.
Check this out.
Yeah.
And be honest with me.
You tell me if you knew this.
This is fucked.
At the beginning of right above it, they say Kane is in the building.
I don't know if I believe it.
We've been saying haters in the building. I don't know if I believe it. We've been saying haters in the building.
I think that's what I thought it was.
Somebody tweeted at us that it was Kane is in the building.
Like the wrestler Kane?
It doesn't make any sense.
I swear to God, I listened to it, and maybe they got in my head, but I heard Kane is in the building.
They got in your head.
You can Google the lyrics right now.
It's haters in the building.
This is also the song where- It's clearly mean haters in the building it's this is also the song where on i clearly cane is in the building how does that work well that's what
somebody why would he say cane is in the building that's why i was like you're out of your fucking
mind homeboy but then i looked it up and it it sounds to me that right above it the haters are
in the building and you're right above it yeah also i keep the haters in the basement that's
what i i don't know if it's Drake or J. Cole.
That's a Drake song.
That's a Drake song, yeah.
We thought it was J. Cole forever.
It's a Drake-Lewin song.
It's a Lil Wayne...
Is it Drake?
See?
Shit's...
Okay, Genius says it's Drake, too.
Yeah.
Who told us it was J. Cole?
It's so funny because we were both like,
oh, yeah, Hollywood Cole.
What is going on here?
What is happening here?
I'm the one causing problems with Mary J. Blige?
Come on. There's a whole other... Who do you think gave us all'm the one causing problems with Mary J. Blige?
Come on.
Who do you think gave us all this bunk info, dude?
Mary J. Blige.
When we had her on to draft White Zinfandels,
we're trying to assume it's something Mary J. Blige has gotten herself into.
Yeah, she knows it.
White Zinfandels.
Probably with some ice cubes in the glass.
Anyway, that's what I assume Mary J. Blige is drinking.
No more drama, guys. No more drama. We're celebrating it. Holleration, however, for the glass. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's what I assume Mary J. Blige is drinking. Ice cubes in the milk.
No more drama.
No more drama.
We're celebrating it.
Holleration, however, for the next two hours or so.
Percolating.
Percolating.
That's how I learned the word percolating.
Ooh, percolating?
Uh-huh.
Not from like instant or Maxwell House coffee situations?
No, I drink coffee straight to the dome boiling hot.
It doesn't have time to percolate.
I learned it from marijuana and marijuana accessories.
You and Hank Hill?
Yeah, percolate.
The street drug known as marijuana.
Yeah.
You ever heard of it?
Nerd.
Yo, so all of this is legal, right?
What are you, a narc?
Talk closer to my mic.
No, no, I'm not at all.
Sean Jordan.
Yes, sir.
Back in the house.
Glad to be here.
At Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
Yeah, yeah.
Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram.
What's the latest with you? I was out on the road. Seattle Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on the gram. What's the latest with you?
I was out on the road.
Seattle, nope, zero people.
Your boy got a goose egg.
I've been looking for a goose egg for a long time.
I've been shopping around.
Exactly.
Zero people came to the show.
Not on you, dude.
Seattle's a changing city.
It's happened.
I don't think any...
Yeah, I'm not drawing on Seattle.
But now when we go there...
I'm not Jeff Bezos.
I do want to say, though, I was in Tacoma doing Doug Loves Movies,
and a dude, Jack Claycock on Twitter, made us an all fantasy everything home game.
Like made some rules and shit, has playing cards.
I left it in the old lady's whip, so she's going to mail it to us.
So just heads up, our lawyers will be getting a hold of you.
My lawyer Finkel you. Yeah. Yeah.
My lawyer, Finkel J. Money.
Or your dad.
Or Ivan Carmel.
Or my dad, who's a lawyer.
Ivan M.
Ivan, shout out to Ivan M. Carmel.
So this guy at the end of the show just walked up like Milton Bradley and just handed you a finished game? He walked up when we came.
So he calls you out.
And this dude came up, rushed the stage, and threw it at me kind of at my feet and i was like what the hell
dude he's like i made this all right and then he went at the beginning of your set at well it's a
podcast but like okay like when we all came out wow we hadn't even started talking yet and he
just rushed up i'm sure doug loved that well doug loves what are the doug loves board games
doug loves crowd participation interrupting
and then some other dude brought
Hawaiian King Sweet Rolls so thank you
oh beautiful sincere thank you that's really cool
that somebody made that board game that's awesome
we'll play it as soon as
I just wanted
I just wanted to reference a T Grizzly lyric
don't we all
he's a huge fan
yeah T Grizzly friend of the podcast huge front of the
scene caught in between us and the mary j blige beef yeah just trying to stay out of it he's more
of a head gum guy really he is he loves he celebrates the entire sort of into the whole
network it's really mac weldon that he likes and any podcast that they've advertised he doesn't
like a nice pair of underwear oh my god well they're not even advertising on this one no
so i'm not gonna keep talking it, but they want to throw us
a little more change or just some
silver line underwear for the whole crew.
Yeah, throw your boys some get right. We'll take it.
If we went out to Red Robin, all of us
matching underwear, I guess nobody would know, but we would
feel it. Oh, they'd know. We'd feel it. They'd know.
We'd make it evident immediately.
I eat differently when I'm wearing
underwear. Little known fact, you've never seen me with underwear.
Yeah. I've never worn them.
That could be true.
That seems now like a widely known fact.
Sitting next to Sean Jordan, we have Jensen Carp in the house.
Hi, hi, hi.
How best to describe you adequately?
Writer?
I'm a writer.
I'm going to call you a comedian, even though you're not on the stage.
I mean, yeah, a writer.
A humorist, at least.
Yeah, a humorist, yeah.
Owner of an art gallery? I own an art gallery 88 right gallery 1988 yes 88 now is a very touchy
oh shit like i try my because you people used to be like gallery 88 and i'd be like yeah it's fine
i'll let them get away with it but but in these times of the all right it's gallery 1988 yes yeah
is that where uh that's where i got the uh the larry Larry David print That's on our wall Yeah
I think you've been to it before
My friend Andy had a piece in there
I forget for home movies
Skateboarding thing
It's been there for 15 fucking years
So at this point I'm tired of it
And I love it but a lot of things are won
Mary J. Blige is not allowed in
She's too pitchy If I'm reading your one like mary j blige is not allowed in if i'm too pitching
if i'm reading your tattoo correctly mary j blige is not allowed in she's not allowed in
i've had a lot of anti-mary j let me tack on some other plaudits author yes uh well for rapper
former rapper yes when i was a kid i was signed in her scope records and which led to the book
kanye west owes me 300 yes available for purchase now. Yes, everywhere books are.
Everywhere books are.
And paperback now.
Paperback, that's fantastic.
For you pod.
So you can kind of roll it up.
It's like 11 bucks or something, yeah.
That's fantastic.
Thanks.
On top of all of this.
Yes.
Executive producer.
Yes.
Of the television show Drop the Mic.
On TBS.
Coming out October.
24th.
October 24th.
Yes.
Hosted by Method Man.
Method Man.
And Haley. Haley Baldwin. Haley Baldwin. Yes. Hell yeah. October 24th. Yes. Hosted by Method Man. Method Man. And Haley Baldwin.
Haley Baldwin.
Yes.
Hell yeah.
Another rap pioneer.
It's going to be celebrities battle rapping each other.
It's very easy, very simple.
It's like we have Anthony Anderson versus Usher, and we have Rascal Flatts versus Boyz
2 Men.
Oh, God.
We have so many battles you've been waiting to see.
That's going to be amazing.
But we have it done by real rappers and real writers and people like Eliza Skinner, who's
so funny and who's been on your show.
Friend of the podcast. Yeah. King dot champion roan and we have so many people
who've come through and helped us and mers has come through to coach rappers amazing
mers is the best you're telling me all the shit i want to hear that's what our show is we do we
took this idea that could be like bastardized yeah in a terrible way and we made it very hip-hop as
hip-hop as we can be yes yeah which i think is so dope for doing
you know because the way like i mean showbiz is so glitzy now to actually get those like actual
like battle rappers in this we try man we try yeah i just picture in rascal flats just getting
grimy they did all right yeah one of the guys did all right the other guy has an amazing voice
yeah he's really i mean i don't know them very well i only got to work with him a little bit
but i was uh impressed by how much I did not hate them.
Someone from the Rascal Hills.
I didn't trust those flatlanders.
I'm from the Rascal Valley.
Yeah, you're from the Rascal Valley.
I'm from Dogpatch, so I don't talk to anybody.
Oh, so these are all actually places in South Dakota.
Dogpatch.
Yeah, yeah.
North Northcliffe.
Also, if you don't know, now you know.
The Gisland sitting in the podcast studio here.
David Borey.
Kane is in the building.
Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.
Yes, sir. At the G is silent on Twitter.
What's the latest with you?
When this comes out...
Yeah, a week from today.
When this comes out, come see me in Boise
tonight.
The Boise back in town!
Or Tulsa
for Blue Whale
Comedy Festival
Friday Saturday
yeah yeah
other than that
bring me Cutty Sark
shout out to the dude
who brought me Cutty Sark
yeah somebody brings me
sweet rolls
and he gets a bottle
of Cutty Sark
I thought the Cutty Sark
was a problem for you
yeah
oh it is
you know
streets keep calling
I mean I guess
you drink after your sets
yeah no I'm not drinking
Cutty Sark before
that's crazy we go to the roost and we walk in and she straight up looks at David I guess you drink after your sets. No, I'm not drinking Cutty Sark before.
That's crazy.
We go to the roost and we walk in and she straight up looks at David. Oh, I heard it.
I'm a fan of the podcast.
I knew there was a drinking problem.
Listen, it's not a problem when it's Cutty Sark.
Cutty Sark USA.
Cutty Sark.
It's an experience.
They'll say it's a problem, but you know it's the solution.
You know it's the cool, refreshing, tasty
Cutty Sark, because the kids aren't coming back.
Cutty Sark, you have a leather couch.
That's fantastic.
When I'm slamming the bottle.
And the baseball hat to match.
Cutty Sark, maybe this will make her love you.
And the baseball hat to match.
Cutty Sark, maybe this will make her love you.
The only time I can't scream Nicole is when I'm drinking Cutty Sark.
My mouth is full of a bold, robust flavor.
If the world is drowning you, Noah's Ark won't save you, but Cutty Sark will.
You don't want to feel tomorrow?
Drink Cutty Sark tonight.
Noah's Ark had two of everything.
Cutty Sark, just you.
Table for one in the bathtub, please.
Use offer code AllFantasy at the bar when you order Cutty Sark.
Dude, what if we could get that going?
All these trends on Twitter, like, dude, everyone's ordering Cutty Sark.
It's in AllFantasy everything.
We're going to get you that sponsorship eventually. Someday. happen uh today the lord's day the lord's day we are drafting sure one word movie
titles y'all dead we're doing it one word movie titles do we did was this a listener suggestion
or was this one that was i am i think it was a couple listeners yeah and you know honestly if i
if i've been blowing it on that i apologize for not giving everyone their proper credit.
I just started the other day, like, putting the at next to the suggestion in my notes.
We're busy going to Taco Bell.
Yeah, I don't know if you heard, but he watched the Entourage Pilots.
Dude, he watched the Entourage Pilots today.
Well, the Pilots followed by, like, however many episodes just kept playing because I didn't.
It's probably still playing right now.
We're busy going to Taco Bell and feeding america misinformation about the ballers theme song
now okay i'm gonna feel like whoever told us in the building i'm gonna feel like a real dip
shit because it's not it's is it haters in the building i thought genius was basically unimpeachable
but maybe it's not what does genius say i've heard genius is fucked up genius says uh
cane is in the building oh wait no never mind it says Kane is in the building oh shit
does it give you the footnote it's produced
by this guy named Kane there it is so that's
his drop Kane is in the building oh
but I'm still gonna say I opened the thing and then
stopped reading it
because your mind was telling you you
didn't want this much like I did with ballers
yeah
Kane is in the building fuck
man that's it I thought it was haters too
no it is
I'm still gonna say it
why would they keep that in
that's crazy
they could have easily pulled it
well it's just like
if young metro don't trust you
I'ma shoot
he's trying to make his own
like Mike Will
that's no young metro
but if I used
like on Drop the Mic
if I used a song
I wouldn't keep Mike Will made
I wouldn't keep it in
you would just let the beat drop
that seems
why would they do that to us?
What are the popular ones?
Mike Wilt and then
Young Metro
Harry Fraud has La Musica de Harry Fraud
He'll drop that in the middle of a song sometimes
What's the one, Janari, the West Coast guy?
Oh, I don't know
Do you know what Pharrell's is?
I've heard this the other day
It's a song false starting four times.
It's like...
He also says,
Yes, sir. That's one of his.
And then also skateboard.
He says that on the Uzi Vert song.
Because skateboarding is the coolest thing in the world.
Yeah, when you're 50.
He's old as hell now.
So I was watching Boiler Room last night
by myself.
You're watching Boiler Room and Entourage. You are a bro.
Oh yeah. I really think
I'm falling. I say bro now too.
It fell into the lexicon ironically.
He's wearing men's shorts. You're a minute away from vaping.
Don't you. Don't put that evil on me.
Zach is planning a
what's it called? What?
Where you get a bunch of friends together. An intervention?
Yeah, an intervention. A bro intervention?
A brovention? A bro intervention.
I won't take, I won't
take part in it. Zach, the guy that
walks around the house with no shirt on? That same
Zach with a towel around his neck? When you
built like that, no shirt is kind of a shirt.
He's the only, he's the only friend of ours that has
like a legit six pack. Oh.
Little, little Uzi shirt. Bananas.
Kane is in the building.
Kane is in the building. The way we determined the draft order
It was with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors
Played between the three of you
It goes on shoot and the odd man out wins
So here we go
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot
What do we get? Paper, paper, paper
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot
Oh, your boy
Chantel Jordan
I'll be going first.
Really quick.
As a listener of this podcast, I do want to say that my draft strategy, because I've listened
to a lot of people do this.
A lot of people go for individual selections.
Yeah.
And I want to say that the best picks, in my opinion, are people who look at the entire
sort of resume, like the entire portfolio.
You're 100% right. And especially in this
case, because I feel you can hit
sort of action. If you had four action
movies or whatever, that's too many.
You could have great movies. You could have the highest
added up Rotten Tomatoes score or what have you.
There's going to be some crossover though. But you need a defender.
You need a defender. You need a scorer.
You need a group of basketball
players that don't, they're not all Jordan.
There's only one ball. There's only one there's only one lebron i'm gonna have
five linebackers walking down the alley just letting you know just let me know that's what
i see on this podcast i liked it you're right you are you're very pointed a day that david does that
because david yeah david had a what was the one you had a fucking backstory for everything
it was your band well his sandwich your sandwich i, also was a good full-on sandwich.
You got to step outside.
That's what I'm saying.
Got to take it to the streets.
Kane's got to go outside of the building.
Kane's outside.
Kane's outside of the building.
Sean, you'll be going first.
We'll be going second.
Then we're just going to go clockwise.
Or I'll go last.
What kind of draft is it?
It's a serpentine.
That's a great question.
Yeah.
So if you've ever, like, if you've ever, what is it? A Roomba? Those things that clean? Sure. Let's say you put it in a great question. Yeah. So it's, if you've ever, like, if you've ever, what is it?
A Roomba?
Those things that clean?
Sure.
Let's say you put it in a narrow hallway.
Let's say you get yourself a third floor studio apartment, right?
Yeah.
Right.
Downtown Queens.
Third floor, concrete floors.
And yeah.
You're coming up now.
Like a thin kind of hallway situation.
It's a thin hallway.
And the Roomba goes down the one way and it hits the wall.
Got to come back the other way.
Sort of a serpentine situation.
But it's a snake.
Swimming laps, guys.
Swimming laps. It's like that new Taylor Swift song. a snake. Swimming laps, guys. Swimming laps.
It's like that new Taylor Swift song,
the video.
I haven't watched it.
You knew that.
I haven't seen it either.
But there is a snake in it.
Have you seen the new Tay-Tay song?
Nah.
You call her Tay-Tay like that?
She loves Tay-Tay.
What makes you think I wouldn't?
That new song's not good.
No, well, it's growing on me though
and I'm wondering if it's growing on me
because it's her or because it's good.
I don't know,
because pop music grows on you.
Yeah, but I love pop music. I mean, you said it right. I'm a bro. No, I love it good. Well, no, because pop music grows on you. Yeah, but I love pop music.
I mean,
you said it right.
I'm a brother.
No, I love it too.
I'm just saying
I don't like that song.
Yeah.
I like plenty
of Tay-Tay Swift songs.
Me too.
I really,
I had to defend
1989 the other day.
Somebody was talking
about how people
don't make like
perfect albums anymore
and I was like,
well,
1989's perfect
does seem a little hard.
Well, it's not perfect
but it's like,
you can listen to it
the whole way through.
And they laughed at me.
I was like, you get out of your car. Get out of your car right it's like, you can listen to it the whole way through. And they laughed at me. I was like,
you get out of your car.
Get out of your car right now.
Where were you?
A drive-thru?
No, we were moving.
Go faster.
They were driving.
Cozy Tapes.
Aesop Mob.
All the way through.
Is it good?
I like it.
I like it.
I was on a lot of drugs
while listening to it.
I haven't listened to it yet.
But I did download
the Lil Uzi Vert record.
I downloaded the Buddy EP,
which is
very good daniel caesar's r&b record's very good wiki east coast guy these are all wiki is good i
like wiki a lot yeah all those records are good fat boy really yeah i like that guy who oh yeah
speaking of fat boy action bronson samples the fat boys are back on his new record
7000 yeah we should just do your podcast.
I know, right?
I could get you up on a lot of...
The Brockhampton records are very good.
The Brockhampton is good, yeah.
There's a lot of good records out right now.
All right, so we have the draft order.
It's going to go Sean Jensen, Dave, and me.
And with the first pick...
With the first pick.
You made the earth sick.
I know what he's doing.
I know what it's going to be.
I think I do, too.
I don't know if either one of you do. It might... I just... I don't want this to get taken. I have two he's doing. I know what it's going to be. I think I do, too. I don't know if either one of you do.
It might.
I just don't want this to get taken.
I have two.
I have what I think.
So I have what I think you're going to pick and what I think you should pick.
I think you're both wrong.
So what I'm picking for my first pick, it's one of my favorite movies of all time.
I knew it.
It's Tombstone.
Oh, I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't think about that.
Tombstone.
See, it's not one that I thought was going to go, but if one of you took it, I would
have fucking freaked out.
Right, right, right.
On anyone's list?
It's not on my list.
Not on mine.
I have a long list.
What?
Tombstone is one of the best.
I think I didn't write it down.
I mean, I do like Tombstone.
It's fantastic.
It's the 1989 of cinema, if I do say so.
Ah, a perfect movie.
A perfect movie that no one will agree with you on?
That's every time it comes out, I look at TBS and I go, the perfect movie. The perfect movie a perfect movie that no one will agree with you on that's every time it comes on i look at tbs and i go the perfect movie the perfect movie and i sit down in the middle of
whatever floor i'm at best buy who knows two yep yeah tombstone came out in 1993 your girl kelly
jordan thinks that i do doc holiday better than val kilmer let's hear holiday i got two guns here
one for each of you you guys so you Doc Holliday was in here? I did.
I thought Val Kilmer was in here.
Why Johnny Tyler?
I thought it was Doc Hollywood.
The Michael J. Fox movie.
That's lucky it's a two-word movie.
Because that would have been one.
That movie's lucky it got the Doc in front of it.
It got a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I'm not saying it's right.
That's high.
I'm not saying it's right.
No, it's a little bit.
Sometimes a little wrong is fun, you know?
Kurt Russell's fantastic in it.
Is that your favorite Western?
I'm not very well versed in Westerns, so easily, yes.
But I bet there's other Westerns that are, because that, I don't know, is it?
Well, The Searchers is my favorite Western.
But that's a very specific movie.
I mean, that's like a movie they, like, that's a modern day Western you're talking about one thing i like about tombstone i can't say the other one because
it might be on someone's list there is another there is another huge western one there's two
huge westerns with one word yes uh yes yeah with tombstone star studded so quotable very rewatchable
sam shayam alien yeah dude sam elliott fucking killer. Your boy William Zane in there.
Oh, William St. Zane.
Haired up William Zane.
Haired up.
He's haired up in that thing.
William, go get some hair and come back.
I dig him.
He's haired up in it.
He's all haired up.
David's boy Jason Priestley, dude.
My boy?
Yeah, your boy.
You love Jason Priestley.
JP?
Yeah.
Hanging out at the beach, man?
JPizzle?
You mean my man Brendan?
And your other boy Ian Ziering, probably in his context.
Not my boy, dude.
Fix your name, dude.
You're like Ian Ziering?
I like the man.
I saw him in front of a children's nightclub once.
Well, number one, what is a children's nightclub?
Man, I was just hanging out and my friend was getting some juice.
And I looked over. That's the best part so far. Here's, and my friend was getting some juice, and I looked over.
That's the best part so far.
Here's John.
My friend was getting some juice. Stuttering.
You cooking up a lie?
Shout out to Clairo Cain.
I know who you're talking.
Right next to that Caldi Coffee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At Atwater Village.
Oh, that's where we filmed Baby Talk.
Oh, no shit?
Was it in this nightclub?
Oh, I don't know if it's a night.
That's in Atwater Village.
It's like a dance studio.
Yeah, it's like a dance studio.
But they had a kid's party, and it was all blacked out. Oh, no, I don't know studio, but they had a kid's party and it was all blacked out
Oh, no, I don't know that DJ just get him ready to suck
They were just having a like children's dance party and I and siren was there
I was like, whoa, it's the redheaded dude from Saved by the Bell a
Couple mistakes one is definitely Ian searing I am
Right so he I said the first name wrong.
Ian Ziering.
Ian Ziering.
Ian Ziering.
Ian Ziering.
And then he's definitely an out to an O.
Yes, okay.
Blonde, though.
You have also blonde.
I thought it was like a light.
Is it?
It's light.
It's like a light.
I can see how it's strawberry blonde, but it's mostly blonde.
There's a kiss.
I'm saying.
Oh, just a kiss?
I know.
He's a blonde man.
And also, I believe you because he's a bro.
A blonde man.
Much like Sean.
He's a guy who watched 90210 with my mom.
Ian, your table's ready.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Pardon, pardon, pardon.
It's Ian, actually.
And if you could not speak that way in front of my mother, she named me specifically.
Does anybody ever call you Ian?
No.
They do now, do you?
No, no, no, no, no.
It happened a couple times in school.
It has happened?
It happened a couple times in school.
Did you smack the teacher?
I killed him in front of everybody
I called an assembly and I killed him
And he was on the same show as Bree and Austin Green, right?
Bree and...
Yeah
That dude
Oh wait, no, no, fuck
I used to clock what Bree and Austin Green wore
His cross-color outfits
Love that shit
Had me fucking shook
Yeah, he's my guy
All yellow cross-color outfits
With like a red cross-color button-up over it
That dude released an album produced by the Far Side.
Did he really?
Yeah.
I remember that he rapped.
That circus record, yeah.
Yeah.
It's not bad.
So yeah, Tombstone.
Powers Booth?
That's your boy.
Powers Booth is the man.
Powers Booth is in it, dude.
We might have to watch Tombstone again.
Dude, you don't...
I mean, it's a good number one pick.
I just think it's shocking.
It's a shocking number one pick. Yeah, man. I wanted to shake things up a little bit. It's Russell Westbrook. It's great for your portfolio. Yeah. It's a good number one pick I just think it's shocking it's a shocking number one pick
yeah man I wanted to shake things up a little bit
it's great for your portfolio
it's a portfolio pick
you might not win a ton of games but it's very rewatchable
I'll tell you what people buy the ticket they don't care if I win or lose
they just want to see me play
and you know what they paid for the whole thing
you paid for the whole seat but you're only going to need the edge
when we're watching Tombstone
that's my fucking word David
you paid for the whole piano bench you paid for the whole bleach, but you're only going to need the edge when we're watching Tombstone. That's my fucking word, David. You paid for the whole piano bench.
You paid for the whole bleachers, but Kane's in the building, so you don't get him.
Damn it, Kane.
You paid for the whole I'm your, but you're only going to need the huckleberry.
Excuse me, Kane is actually going to be sitting there, so he's in the building now.
Tombstone is good.
Who's your favorite Earp?
Oh, dude, between Koss and Kurt?
Yeah.
It's got to be Kurt.
The Wyatt Earp movie sucked.
You know that's where the phrase get out of Dodge comes from?
Where?
Wyatt Earp being a peacemaker.
Get out of Dodge in Kansas?
Lawman in Dodge City.
I didn't know that.
And he would say, like, get out of Dodge, and it just kind of stuck.
Really?
I thought it was the car.
I thought I was with you when I looked it up.
I thought it was with Dodge.
It was a rush.
Dropping someone off in an Uber. it was a brand new first day at the
dodge dealership get out of dodge but my destination is three blocks up that way
i don't drive through little armenia
he's a turkish uber driver yeah uh all right yeah just just left that kind of a armenian
holocaust joke hanging in the air but but not really. Listen, I'm half.
I'm allowed.
Yeah.
Oh, well, there we go.
And I'm Jewish, which, you know.
I'm half Jewish, half, and my mother is Armenian.
You're half Jewish, half Armenian? Yeah, so I have like almost no ancestors.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, you don't.
Just murdered.
Yeah.
I mean, if you did stand up, man, that would be good.
Do you ever feel-
Very specific joke.
Do you ever feel an intense responsibility to have like 40 kids?
I do.
I weirdly do have a feeling like I should have kids in general because my bloodline is
pretty much soaked in death.
Yeah.
But maybe.
Maybe.
I'm the only Carmel who can propagate the species.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I feel an intense responsibility too.
I should hit the gym.
Thank God.
How many days?
Oh, now?
Yeah.
I cut it off, but it ended up being 32 days.
Well, you've been going every single day, right?
Damn near every day.
For our podcast right now, we're doing something called Buff Season, where Matt and I are training
as bodybuilders.
Really?
Yeah.
How is that going?
You didn't say the name of the podcast, by the way.
Oh, get up on this.
Get up on this.
I just wanted everyone to know.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's on the Earwolf Network.
And right now, we're doing something called called Buff Season where we have a trainer who's
a serious bodybuilder and we are both on diets.
I'm not fully in line yet.
Are you on a cut diet or a build diet?
We are on build.
We are trying to look like bodybuilders.
We're only doing it for six months.
David's on a cut diet.
Cut, cutty.
Cutty.
How long are you doing it for?
Six months.
Jeez.
You're going to look, you're going to like be like kind of yoked by the time.
I think.
I don't know.
That's the thing is the bit came out of me not believing my body can
do it right and maddie's also at the heaviest he's ever been so between us we have different
goals my goal like he's he's he's measuring he's like measuring food weights yeah so he's like
gotten very serious i am just eating better i love that idea though i think it's fun i've always
wanted to like what if i look down what if you look down and just saw like something written
that's literally what we're doing i mean that's why we're doing it it's fun i've always wanted to like what if i look down what if you look down and just saw like something ripped that's literally what we're doing i mean that's
why we're doing it it's because i just don't i don't my body has always been this kind of like
skinny jewy thing yeah so like i wonder if i can make that body real it's intriguing bill goldberg
did it yeah bill goldberg you know what i'm just gonna have to throw this in there real quick uh
we're only one pick in and i'm having a blast great i just want to let you dudes know that
i'm having a really good time by the way that's what it's like to just party with Sean Jordan.
Yeah, that is what it is.
You'll be at the party since 8.
It'll be 9 o'clock, and he'll just call a moment of silence for how much fun you have.
It's fucking fantastic.
You got to be aware, man.
I officiated a wedding this last weekend.
I was crying like a baby.
Knocked it out of the park.
Happy.
Cried three times during the ceremony.
Congratulations.
Thanks, man.
It's a hard gig.
It'd be like, Heather and Tony,
you guys.
You're like a fucking puzzle.
So Tombstone was the first pick.
Jensen Karp,
you are now on the clock
making your first pick.
Okay.
So I think the way I listen to the show
as just an observer,
I always think that a classic pick up top, even if you don't think someone else is going to take it, I think the way I listen to the show as just an observer, I always think that a classic pick up top,
even if you don't think someone else is going to take it,
I think building your squad with a captain
is usually kind of the first move to go.
You want Larry Bird out there.
So even though there are other movies
that I really want on my team more,
I do think that for my first pick,
I'm going to select...
Ian's got to look. Psycho. Oh! first pick i'm going to select ian's gotta look psycho oh and i'll tell you why because yeah it's shit cut the tension with a butter knife in here you really you really strung that
out i really wanted that was that was expertly blind well i've watched many drafts in the nba
and i just think it's a classic it's pretty in my opinion, it's the one word sort of initiate.
It's the first of the kind of hype movies.
And that's the one to go with, I think.
Is it your favorite Hitchcock?
Yes.
I mean, yes.
I know you mean.
The same way that 36 Chambers is my favorite rap album.
But truthfully, Six Feet Deep, Gravediggers is my favorite rap album.
I 100% know what you're saying. But I can't tell that to people.% yeah like i can't tell people that so i have to say 36 chambers because in real life like
rope is probably my favorite hitchcock rope is great i love i'm a rear window me too love rear
window you want to layer to the onion real quick never seen psycho it's a great film great movie
we gotta do that soon it's great and also also you have to understand later in life this would get stolen many times,
but having the celebrity star murdered in the first 15, 20 minutes,
people didn't know that was going to happen.
They never believed that would happen.
And then also just the folklore of Norman Bates itself has become such a pop culture staple.
Yes.
I just think that having a captain with a movie that is clearly a classic was the move to go.
It's a solid captain.
Solid captain. A little older. More than solid. Which is nice a classic was the move to go. It's a solid cap. Solid cap.
A little older.
More than solid.
Which is nice.
Came out in the year 1960.
Year of our Lord, actually.
The year of our Yord.
The year of our Yord.
And he had this campaign for the film where you can't tell any of your friends what happens.
You can't leave the theater, which is now obviously a fire hazard.
But he made it so you couldn't leave the theater at any point until the end of the movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nationwide?
I don't know. They just did that? But that was the thing he the thing he i mean it said it on the poster that's pretty sick yeah
it was like don't tell your friends this this the spoiler yeah don't tell your friends yeah that was
the thing stuff like that yeah uh i used to work on on the universal studios a lot so did i yeah
yeah and uh you could did you ever do the thing where you could just take a golf cart i could tell
you a crazier thing that happened when I worked there.
Oh, shit.
Here we go.
Ready?
Yes.
I worked on Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas.
I was the director's assistant on that fucking masterpiece.
And Jim Carrey was filming Grinch that stole Christmas and also filming Man on the Moon
sort of like over a certain amount of time.
Yeah, yeah.
So he was on Lot a lot.
Like we would see him all the time and he would run around with like his elves and stuff like do weird shit on the Lot of time. Yeah, yeah. So he was on lot a lot. Like, we would see him all the time, and he would run around with, like, his elves and stuff,
like, do weird shit on the lot a lot.
Yeah.
So one time he dressed as the psycho mom
and ran down on trams from the house.
So for those of you that don't know,
they're, like, they have the psycho house
that's part of the Universal Tour.
The real one, yeah.
And every now and then,
they have an actor up there most of the time
playing Norman Bates walking around.
So he dressed up like the mom and, like, started... With the and would run down with like a knife yeah my story was just i would drive by it sometimes
you're in a golf cart i didn't see it but i was told this yeah when i was working there you had
me that's amazing yeah that's super tight i want to go on one of those tours they're fun yeah they're
more fun in the golf cart than they are on the tram i'll tell you that i'll tell you that for free golf cart
over tram that and nickel will get you a goddamn cup of coffee won't it yeah uh psycho yeah psycho
is a great movie yeah was that one of the ones where alfred hitchcock was torturing one of the
actors uh yeah he well no not as bad because his lead in that is a male but he probably fucked around with lee yeah right but but i will say also i i this is a controversial opinion yeah i also like
the remake oh the gus van sand shot for shot vince vesey yeah i actually like it i don't like it as
a movie but i like it as like an experiment it's a fun experiment yeah it's really yeah vince von's
you know he's creepy i like him in that and also
that he like eats like a bird well which is like a big thing of norman big thing there's stuff he
does that i like but obviously clearly it's nowhere near the original but i do appreciate it
psycho is great and halloween yeah
that's why it's making sure you don't know just so you guys know oh shit that's why just so you guys know
oh shit that's a movie too
oh fuck I meant the
holiday I didn't know if you were
going on the haunted hayride I don't give a fuck
we gotta go
I've never done it
it's sick they do a great job
use offer code all fantasy
at the haunted hayride
you'll get three extra chills.
No rules.
No rules.
Haunted Hayride, sick. I love Tom Cruise, bro.
You look like Tom Cruise, bro.
Psycho's an excellent pick. Thank you.
David, have you seen Psycho? Yes.
I have seen Psycho. Scary movie. Sean, you gotta watch Psycho.
I'll go on the Haunted Hayride. If you watch them up three alfred hitchcock movies how many count them up three
three what else is good guys just so you know yeah psycho 2 oh yeah there's a sequel there's
more than there's a psycho 3 as well uh these these weren't hitchcock movies no no no yeah
psycho 2 is just good though i yeah i believe any perkins in it yeah yeah well it came out 23 years later yeah
oh came out 1983 it's pretty good yeah oh fantastic one do you guys know who tame one is
no from the artifacts using the artifacts wrong side of the tracks do you remember that song no
no anyway getting real hip-hop here but tame one recent like probably like 10 years ago had a song
on on the eastern conference label and he says at the beginning he goes hip-hop's anthony perkins constantly murkin and i was like uh he doesn't
know how anthony perkins died how did anthony perkins die i died of AIDS oh really yeah oh no
so he's definitely tame one you're not hip-hop's anthony perkins i'm assuming easy he was yeah
easy i'm hip-hop's anthony perkins constantly lurking yeah Excellent pick, David Boyd.
It's time for your first pick, the third pick of the first round.
Okay, so my first pick, I wanted to go with an out-and-out good movie,
but also a lot of personal sentiment.
Probably my favorite movie on my one-word movie draft.
Yes.
Very serious.
Okay.
Going with Juice. Juice. Very serious. Okay. Going with juice.
Juice.
Great movie.
Juice.
That is probably number four that I was going to pick.
Four?
I would have had to hire for you.
Yeah, I thought I was worried that you were going to take it.
I didn't think anyone was going to take it, honestly.
And then I saw that fucking shirt you're wearing.
Oh, yeah.
What shirt am I wearing?
I don't want to say it.
Well, we can say it.
No one's going to take it, right?
We can't.
I'm not taking that movie.
I'm not going to take it.
I'm not going to take it.
You're not taking it?
No.
I still could take it. Let's not taking that movie. I'm not going to take it. I'm not going to take it. You're not taking it? No. I still could take it.
Let's not say it then.
Should we not say it?
David's got a thanks for everything too long food to a new Marshall.
It's one word.
A lot of people don't know that.
That whole movie is one word.
It's hyphens.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love Juice.
I think it's the best acting Tupac ever did
Juice holds up
Tupac would have been
such a good actor
had he kept going
down that road
well this is
yeah
he was the only decent
part of Poetic Justice
yeah that movie sucks
that movie's not good
he was good
but I do like the story
that Janet Jackson
made him wear a condom
yeah
oh really
yeah while they were
just making
like making a love scene
she made him put a condom on
well she said she wanted to.
I don't think he ended up doing it, but she was insisting that he do.
Just in case it slipped in?
I don't think AIDS was like under...
Well, AIDS coming up a lot.
I don't think AIDS was fully understood when they were filming it, so Janet Jackson was
like, better safe than sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Q-Tip's in that movie a little bit.
Oh, yeah?
No, he's in Point of Justice.
Wait, that's what we're talking about.
Point of Justice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're talking about juice.
We're talking about juice.
83% on Rotten Tomatoes. Ooh, that's high. He just about justice yeah we're talking about juice 83 percent
on rotten that's higher than tombstone juice is a great movie that is fucking juice is a great
movie i'm not saying it's not samuel jackson's in it yeah yeah can we talk about the soundtrack
the soundtrack is used all i care about is know the ledge that was the first time i heard uh how
i could just how i could just kill a man, dude. That song is so good in that movie
when he's walking through that house party and it's all red.
Yeah, at the very end? Hell yeah.
Is that Kill a Man?
Yeah. Oh, wow.
I thought I'd shoot him up.
It had that
super dope, I don't even know how to
describe it. I don't know what that sound is. That bagpipe
sounding kind of thing that they used
in the early 90s a lot. I forgot they did that.
I forgot that was in that.
Yeah.
But I do know
Know the Ledge,
the Rakim song,
which is my favorite.
And then Uptown Anthem's
in it as well, I think.
Yes.
Which I love.
Great song.
Also a song by Pooh Man
called Sex, Money, and Murder.
That was my rap name,
Pooh Man.
Pooh Dash.
Technically, it kind of was.
My rap name was
Sex, Money, and Murder.
It's very close to Pooh Man.
He was Pooh with an H? Yeah. Coming straight out of the 100 Acre Wood. Same as DJ Pooh. Yeah. Same as DJ Pooh- Technically, it kind of was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Carl. He's very close to Pooh Man. He was Pooh with an H?
Yeah.
Coming straight out of the 100-acre wood.
Same as DJ Pooh.
Yeah.
Same as DJ Pooh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's not go down that road too far.
Phil, yeah, right?
Well, we won't have to wait long.
We won't have to wait long.
He wrote something.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like-
Big Daddy Kane, Teddy Riley, my favorite New Jack Swing producer.
What's the Big Daddy Kane song on there?
Enough Respect.
Great song. Yeah. Yep. Two Sh song on there? Enough Respect, great song.
Yeah.
Two Shorts on it, EPMD with a weird album cut.
Two Shorts, that's another.
What's the Two Shorts song on that song?
So You Wanna Be a Gangster.
Yeah, So You Wanna Be a Gangster.
And all that shit.
Which is great.
Smoke any motherfucker, don't even quit.
It's when he's walking, when that Puerto Rican dude comes up and puts on him in front of
the store and then he sees his voice.
That's the first time I heard anybody say, I would have been your father, but the line
was too long.
Classic dialogue.
Cameo appearances by Queen Latifah, EPMD, Special Ed,
Ed Lover, and Dr. Dre.
But, you know, the Ed Lover and Dr. Dre.
The Who's the Man.
Queen Latifah is like a concert producer or something.
She's got...
Who?
Queen Latifah.
She's got a super dank role.
Flex Alexander, whoever that is.
Fab Five Freddy.
Flex Alexander, Homeboys in Outer Space space yeah oh no shit yeah yeah flex he's in it i don't know
donald faze on and tretch trash oh tretch one of the greatest rappers ever in my opinion
top 20 feel me great and dangerously close to a hip-hop podcast is real good flow is such a good
summer jam such a good summer jam yeah Such a good summer jam. Yeah.
Naughty by Nature,
painfully underrated.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Why have they been
tossed into the dustbin of history,
so to speak?
But boy, do I love them.
Not because I hate you.
It's not because I hate you.
Well, because people know
the two hits, really.
I guess so, yeah.
OPP and Hip Hop Race.
So those are the things
that get played at bar mitzvahs,
but they have great songs.
Yeah.
And Trench is a great rapper.
And a porn producer, right?
Was he the one who ran into Tupac?
He produces ear porn is what he produces.
Ear porn.
Did Tretch not get into porn?
I thought Tretch got into porn.
I don't think he did.
I don't think so.
I think he made that up.
Let me do a little bit of...
Did anybody ever really leave the house and just throw their books in a garbage can and
then just ditch school all day?
Because did anybody know anyone that did that in real life?
I think that's more of like a New York thing.
I love it. What's the dude's name steel he's getting dressed doing his beatbox and for a minute i thought that was in an audio by nature video then i realized you're talking about
something else but yes i do know you're and i've never done that he's got over and you burn it or
whatever yeah those like red overall those those like lumberjack overalls that he's wearing right
yeah yeah yeah yeah that bucket hat.
He looked like Paddington Bear.
Combat boots.
Hip hop Paddington Bear.
Yeah.
I like the early 90s look in Juice.
I've always liked the combat boots.
Oh, Tupac looks so cool in Juice.
Yeah.
When he's like just behind his locker, he just wants to say, what's up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except for at the very end where he's wearing that giant jacket.
That's kind of a weird look.
Well, because he lost it, dude.
He's untethered at that point.
I don't give a fuck.
You guys have heard the theory
that, I mean, did you see the Tupac movie?
I haven't seen it yet. I've heard it was too bad.
I had so much fun in it.
It's not good, but it's just fun. And the one
thing I would say is that they reference it in the movie
and then it's been referenced in a million biographies
and a million TV shows about him
that they think he never got out of the juice roll.
Oh!
That could be it. The timing on it makes sense.
It makes sense. And that's a theory that a lot of people think.
In the movie, in the Tupac biography
movie, he does a scene
in it and gets too intense and they're like, cut!
And he keeps doing it and they're like, cut! And then they're like,
hey, Pac! Pac! And he's like, what?
So it's like a small reference to the idea that
maybe he was too engulfed in the character.
Because before that, he was like Digital Underground's dancer.
Juice was sort of the turning point from going from conscious Brenda got a baby into this gangstership.
It wasn't thug life.
No.
Would you want to talk about Tupac for a second?
Man, I have a lot of feelings about Tupac.
Well, David has some fucking...
I don't think he's the greatest rapper to ever live.
I think that his character really irritates me a lot.
I know.
I'm going there.
I think Tupac was like...
I don't like that dude.
I don't like his moves.
He started gangbanging as an adult.
That's lame.
I have grown into liking his music more as I grew up,
but he has never been...
It's always been biggie to me.
It's been biggie for me, too, but I like Tupac.
I never listened to Tupac by myself.
Tupac went to acting school and then became a gangster.
It's no more obvious.
That's what I'm saying.
What's that?
The music.
I'm not saying the dude.
You think whatever you want about the guy, Tupac.
The music is fantastic.
I still listen to Biggie.
I don't listen to any of that.
What am I, at home listening to Dear Mama big I don't listen to any of that what am I at home listen to dear mama I don't listen to
any of that ever
he's got a lot of other songs
I know I know I know but even like
so many tears there are songs
that have grown on me just so it's out there yeah no I think
he's good or whatever but I just don't
the album I listen to those
two big albums more than
I I've never listened to Tupac that much
other than when it came out
and you're entitled to your wrong opinion
well the compelling point
becoming a gangbanger after
going to jail after he was famous
he went to the fame high school
yeah the fame high school
you see that interview with him
when he was in high school
he was clearly a nice boy, sort of like soft.
Yeah, he's in nothing but trouble.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
All around the world.
Oh, God, that's right.
Going all around the world.
That movie's my fucking jam.
I just watched it.
It's on HBO.
I just watched it the other day.
It's so good.
Dan Aykroyd's filthy.
The only time he ever directed a movie, which I love.
That was the only Dan Aykroyd directed a movie?
Yeah, because it's like, well, I don't need to do anymore.
That's my hit.
Thanks.
He nailed it.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Not so much a rapper you like, but good actor.
Great actor.
Definitely a great actor.
Yes.
That would have been a great line for him.
I mean, I'm not picking gridlock.
That's what he'd be doing now.
By the way, that's the next podcast we're going to do when we have Jensen on again.
What?
Is Raptors.
Oh, God.
Rapper Actors.
That's my shit.
So we got to have you on like right after this then
that's my shit yeah yeah yeah rapper actors is all i could talk about it all oh don't even get
my theories of who for sure should be number one i have a whole thing don't even don't even
we're just teasing that out yeah all right so juice juice it's time for my uh first and second
picks as it is uh serpentine dress shirt yeah and i can't believe i get both of these
yeah i'm nervous about your one don't say i'm nervous don't say what i want i'm nervous about
wanting to what i'm going with my first my first one don't do it i'm taking friday god damn it it's
a very urban heavy draft it is what i think that was gonna be my comedy that was fair yeah that's
a fair pick at the end of the first somebody should have taken it in the first round yeah
right nobody did i that's completely honestly now i the end of the first. Somebody should have taken it in the first round. Yeah.
Right.
Nobody did.
That's completely the way it should have been. I honestly, now that I'm reading the room a little better, I can't believe that it made
it past anyone.
I can't believe, too.
It's only a 74% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I don't know why I keep bringing this up.
I think it's a fun scene.
I fucking love that movie.
I can pick that movie up at any point in the movie and watch it from there. When you think about that Ice Cube, DJ Pooh wrote it. Dude. I can pick that movie up at any point in the movie. Oh, hell yeah. And watch it from there.
When you think about that Ice Cube, DJ Pooh wrote it.
Yes.
You're like, this is fucking like legit, actual funny.
And it holds up so well.
It's not like a terribly paced movie.
No.
It moves well.
It moves.
Because usually if just some people wrote a movie, you're like, oh, it's going to be
like killer season.
Like the car wash or whatever.
The wash.
The wash.
That movie is not well paced. That's a terrible movie. Yeah. oh it's gonna be like killer season like the car wash or whatever the wash the wash that movie is terrible well-paced that's a terrible movie yeah that movie's so bad friday
with debo that through line of debo when they're just like tuck your tuck your shit yeah yeah it's
it's so many of the character representations like a portrayal that like lives on forever
like tiny liston or whatever oh yeah he's always and not only that he was a pro wrestler who was
only named zeus like people who saw him would be like, hey, there's Zeus.
Debo was such a big role.
It took over Zeus for his name.
Right.
It would be like if Screech had another role.
Right.
And then it wasn't Screech anymore.
Right.
His name was like Tom.
Yeah.
So quotable.
Debo was such a big, it led to Zach Randolph being named Zebo.
Just because he was like a big, cathogish dude.
That's right.
You know what's also interesting?
It started by Felicia.
Yeah.
I don't think a lot of people know that an interesting- It started by Felicia? Yeah. I don't think a lot of people
know that.
Yeah,
it started by Felicia.
Yeah.
It also gave us
one of the few
unbearable scenes
in Straight Outta Compton.
Oh,
yeah,
the by Felicia.
Maybe it was Friday coming.
Oh,
when he's writing it.
No,
when he's writing it.
You got knocked the fuck out.
That's funny,
man.
That's funny.
This shit is hilarious.
I'm almost done with this script.
Oh,
it's probably nothing.
And it sucks because that movie is so good.
He was right.
Like if he was sitting there and telling his wife like, hey, this is funny.
He was right.
That moment had to happen at some point.
But like that moment, what would you call a record label like that?
Oof.
And he just knew right away.
There weren't four or five drafts.
He's like, I have water with ice cubes.
Oh, shit. I think I got my rap name ice cubes are
cold that's what i want to be yeah the real thing should have what you call a record label like that
and they should be like oh i don't know what do you know like what about thugs on patrol reckless
fearless fearless didn't you just get out of jail get in the fucking car we got a long drive back
to oh yeah jail's a good name jail yeah jail we could call it the jailbreak squad
oh that's good
and then like
later on in In-N-Out
they'd be like
or at Fatburger
they'd be like
Ruthless?
oh Ruthless I like
oh Ruthless is good
that's the leader
in the clubhouse
let's pin that
and then they'd try
to think of some more
now I can take down
all the sticky notes
off my mirror
now that we landed
on Ruthless
but enough about that movie
that has three words
in the title
Friday man
Friday great film it's such a good movie it's endlessly quotable that fucking but enough about that movie that has three words in the title um friday man friday friday great
it's such a good movie it's endlessly quotable that fucking great and older older the berry
the sweet of the juice black of the bay yeah what's your blackest i'm trying to see did ice
cube ever get writing credit on another movie um what about the other friday friday after next
he wrote but he didn't write next Friday?
Well, he got...
See, that's the thing.
Last Friday, he got characters.
So it's a little confusing as to what he actually fully wrote.
Yeah.
But as a writer...
I wonder how much he actually wrote a Friday, if it was really sitting there.
You think it was all DJ Pooh?
No, I don't know exactly what was going on.
I guess it just is literally just the two of them.
It probably is just Ice Cube, them. Here's his writing credit.
You ready?
Here's his writing credit.
I don't know why I said, of course it's Ice Cube.
Friday.
He also wrote The Players Club.
Ooh.
Ooh, that movie was not good.
Then he's characters by and written by for Friday and next Friday and Friday after next.
Yeah.
But then all about the Benjamins, he gets a written by credit.
All about the Benjamins is hilarious.
He gets a written by credit in that.
I can see that.
He's in there working on that.
And that wasn't a complicated plot.
No, but he shares that with Ronald Lang.
Oh, TV's Ronald Lang.
Oh, yeah.
We're a big Ronald Lang podcast.
Friend of the podcast.
Lang players.
Chris Tucker's great in it.
Bernie Mac, dude.
Bernie Mac is amazing.
Bernie Mac is a goddamn devil and throws a fucking brick at him.
Calls us a sin, a sin, sin devil Is the little person in that
The same as the one from Bad Santa
Yeah
He's incredible
What about Nia Long
Oh man
Nia's strong
I needed a Nia Long
She's got that gigantic tape player on her
I didn't think you were going to say tape player
You have a
Sean you have a problem with Friday, plot-wise,
where it's like, who can't get $200?
Well, that's...
Yeah, and also, he only needs $100.
It's the only beef, but he's...
They have $100.
Yeah.
He's holding $100 all day,
and they keep trying to get $200.
You only need $100.
Because remember when Chris Tucker's counting a big worm,
and he's like, 20, 40, 60 120 they got a hundred bucks yeah and I don't
know how it made it through how do you know I got a pretty good idea how it
made through DJ poop everybody was high as fine looking at the script super
business not enough to gripe about but whenever I do see it I'm like man come
on that would have that would have really directed by it's also directed by music video director f gary gary greg huge things but also straight out
of compton but he was a music video director i saw in the theater at city walk here in los angeles
and they played keep your heads ring in the music video afterwards before for us oh really
and people were leads in right yeah and it awesome. People were in the aisles dancing and shit.
It was incredible.
It was opening night.
I used to rent it at my dad's house.
They play Friday the music video at the end of it, at the VHS anyways, and I used to rent
it just for that.
Keep your heads ringing.
What's the line Chris Tucker says when Deebo leaves?
Like, yeah, when he's here, I'll stop talking.
Yeah, no.
When Deebo comes around, I'll be quiet when he leaves.
I'll be talking. I'll be quiet when he leaves i'll be talking i'll be talking again
also when chris tucker says he's gonna cry in the car yeah you want some tool man no
no uh it's just great it's just fucking i can like yeah it's kind of our generation's
blazing saddles a little bit a little bit it's like it starts pacing and jokes and reword you know
like way you keep saying fantastical characters which are great chris knocking down the trash can
stop playing stop playing stop playing it's uh it's fucking it's a great pick it makes yeah
it's like as if i can as a white kid growing up in beaverton you know what i mean all the other
like portrayals of like south central or compton or anything like that it was all like it was all
like riots and crime and everything like that i mean you had like and this was just like a
medicine society and this was just like a movie about a neighborhood and there was definitely
violence of course but they also showed the part of like people do exist and like yeah just people
live their fucking lives yeah and people and speaking of people who never got out of their
roles didn't that guy, Witherspoon,
have the rest of his stand-up career
was like being the dad?
He's been pops forever.
I worked with John Witherspoon.
He got $4,000, I think, for Friday.
Jesus.
Isn't that crazy?
That is a bummer.
That sucks.
But he's went on to be that like,
don't go in there guy forever.
He's the dad.
He's pops in so many things.
His album.
He says bang, bang, bang.
He has an album.
He has an album.
And one of the songs is called Don't Nobody Go in the Bathroom.
It goes, don't nobody go in the bathroom.
See, that's the thing.
It's catchy.
He just took it on forever.
So maybe $3,500, $4,000 then, but a lifetime of memories.
Well, he got-
Down payment on a lifestyle.
He got like $4,000 for the first one, $50,000 for the second one.
And then I-
Or no, like-
$6,000,000 for the third. He got $1,000,000 for the third one. Oh, wow. I know that. But he got- four down for the first one 50 for the second one and then i or no like six million for the third he got a million for the third one oh i know that but he got well that's
good it was like 4 200 grand and then a million is what he got for him wow he was really uh he
couldn't be taken out by the third that's what else um new line was gonna pay what was it new
line was gonna front half the money or something for friday and ice cube was like i'll just front
it all and it was 2020 million, ended up making
$200 million.
He got all of it.
It's my favorite rapper of all time just so it's out there.
Ice Cube's my favorite rapper.
I'm sorry if that's not 100% correct, but it's
something like that.
Predator, Lethal Injection,
they're fantastic.
Killer Will, America's Most,
George Clinton record.
And also the Players Club.
What, Rappin' Forte?
The Rappin' Forte's on?
Just the movie.
Oh, yes.
The Rappin' at the Players Club.
That dude with that pressed ponytail.
I've hung out with Rappin' Forte.
But that's for a different...
What?
I did a show with him in San Francisco.
Really?
Did he have a perm?
No, he's not doing so good, man.
Oh.
Oh, bummer.
No, I'm actually kind of shocked.
Rapping three-tay.
Yeah, rapping three-tay.
Rapping no-mo.
Rapping all day.
I have to make my second pick now.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Can I tell you why I have to make my second pick?
I'd love to hear it.
One day, some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way
home.
Oh, God fucking damn it, dude.
You know why?
Fuck. Out of respect. It was out of, God fucking damn it, dude. You know why? Out of respect.
It was out of respect.
God damn it,
man.
Good fellas.
I can't believe,
I thought it was going,
that was,
that was one of my first round looks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
it makes sense in that sort of captain way.
Uh huh.
It's a captain.
It's a fantastic,
it's a second real,
right now it's really my,
uh,
Russell Westbrook to the Kevin Durant I had.
It is,
yeah.
On my,
well,
it's a strong pick.
I won't win,
but,
uh,
yeah.
It's just an amazing movie.
It's such a good fucking movie.
That Steadicam shot
through the fucking kitchen
when they put the table down.
That alone.
King of the one-liners.
Henny Youngman up there?
Johnny Two Times.
Two Times, Two Times.
I'm gonna go get the papers,
the papers.
When Joe,
when the guy's like,
your bill's like eight grand
and he's like,
well, you're making me look
like a fucking asshole
in front of my friends.
In front of my friends.
I just like the level of respect that he commanded.
It's got some of the dopest scenes.
I mean, like young Henry Hill torching all those cars, where then Rags to Riches comes
on.
Yeah.
That's fucking amazing.
There's no one better at soundtracks than Scorsese.
No.
Yeah.
It's crazy that he didn't get an Oscar until The Departed.
It's fucked up.
He should have got it for Goodfellas.
Yeah, wrong movie.
Who got it that year?
In 1990?
What if I knew that?
It was like...
It definitely wasn't Goodfellas.
It was like...
But I mean, it's something where you hear,
you're like, what?
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b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply wait would it have been
so driving this day as you want it in 1990 but that might not be the
year i hate that movie yeah oh no dances with wolves oh well that's great you know why that
one right why is that because they filmed it in south dakota it had special thanks to the uh state
of south dakota i wasn't sure how we're gonna work south dakota into this one uh goodfellas
also some of the funniest scenes when they're after they uh after
they kill fucking what's his face dennis farina dennis farina the new voice of unsolved mysteries
while robert stacks out let's get dennis farina to do it i don't know where this guy is
he's probably somewhere i don't know give me a hot dog or something he's gonna turn up dead
somewhere why are we even filming this frigging watch these fucking out of work actors here.
There's too much TV already.
Serengeti's got a big song.
Who does Hulu?
Whoa, what a fucking,
where's this Aaron again?
Jesus Christ.
Have you heard that
Serengeti song
All About Chicago?
They talk about that song.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
I got brought up on that podcast.
When they go to the
Joe Pesci's mom's house
and it's played by
Martin Scorsese's mom
and they got the painting
that looks like something we know. And he's like,, his real mom. And they got the painting that looks like
something we know.
And he's like,
I like this painting.
It's got this one dog
going this way
and this other dog
going this way
and then this guy right here.
Like, what do you want from me?
I think,
from what I remember reading,
from what I remember reading,
they don't,
they like fed the mom nothing.
Right?
Like they just had her be her.
She's just great, man.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
It's just a fucking,
it's just a fucking it's just a
fucking fantastic movie i've even i used to hate i used to hate the like in the last quarter of it
when it got all coked out it's not that rewatchable when it's still falling apart but it's like it's an
important part of that movie yeah it's not as real it's not as rewatchable as them like
slicing the garlic so thin uh-huh you know what i mean in the prison and stuff like that this love score says these little stories that he throws in there too like that have you
guys read the book good fellas oh yeah yeah yeah those are like the best parts about the prison
yeah and the coked out part i think is kind of the best part of the oh really yeah i haven't
read the book henry hill baby yeah that guy also dead great 30 for 30. Yeah, right? Oh, really? Oh, wait, it fits in the New York basketball.
Yeah, that's right, that's right.
May he rest in peace.
Yeah, he's dead.
Although he's definitely in hell.
He smoked it to the filter, though.
Henry Hill lived like 10 lives.
Yeah, he did.
He's all right.
Smoked it to the filter.
Smoked it to the filter.
Smoked it to the filter.
That's funny.
Well, I'm going to go get my fucking shine box.
David, why don't you make your second pick?
Let's hear it, dude.
My second pick.
So I wanted to go with commercial, success, America, big dick, explosions, Armageddon.
Oh, good one.
Summer smash.
Fuck yeah.
You can't deny that that movie was not a smash.
That fucking corny-ass Aerosmith song.
Yes.
I feel that shit in my heart.
Corny-ass Aerosmith song playing with a little animal cracker on Liv Tyler's belly button.
Oh, my God.
The peaks.
That stayed with me.
Michael Bay, right?
Huh?
Yeah.
Was it Michael Bay?
I think it was Michael Bay.
Also, new Ben Affleck teeth.
Yes.
Them new teeth.
Michael Bay wasn't shy with those either.
Get those teeth on camera.
He loves getting teeth on camera.
This will fuck y'all up.
Michael Clarke Duncan.
So good.
May he rest in peace.
Another star-studded cast.
And your boy Bill Fichtner.
Really, character actor.
By the way, it's the first time anyone's ever said your boy Bill Fichtner.
Ever.
William Robert Thornton. William Robert Thornton was in it? Yeah. By the way, it's the first time anyone's ever said your boy Bill Fickler. Ever. He's one of my favorite characters.
William Robert Thornton.
William Robert Thornton was in it?
Yeah.
A young Owen Wilson?
Yeah.
Before he was really like...
Yeah, right.
Do your Owen Wilson video thing.
Oh, this is my impression of you just bought a new boat.
Yeah.
And your two friends, Christopher Walken and Owen Wilson, are coming over and you're showing them your new boat.
Okay.
Wow. Wow. Okay. Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
They love it.
They're very supporting friends.
They like the U.M.A. boat.
They love your boat.
They got a couple boats.
They're coming out with you.
They like your come up.
They know what it is.
Yeah.
I love Armageddon, man.
39% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is fucked.
That is fucked.
Which is fucked. That is fucked. Which is fucked.
That is fucked.
Obviously, Rotten Tomatoes.
They saved the world.
They saved the world.
They shook up the world.
Rotten Tomatoes has never been hung over on a Sunday watching cable.
Tell me.
Oh, that's right.
How come that's not factored in?
That's the perfect time to watch that movie.
There should be, Rotten Tomatoes scores should be reconfigured once these movies have hit
cable.
TBS.
Yes.
Yeah.
Sunday, it starts at one yeah yeah that's
when i wake up i'm like oh man cool at least this like clocks three of my three of my hours for this
terrible day that i'm gonna have you know what movie's really good but i think i only i mean i
like it for a lot of reasons but i know i like it more because it plays on tv a lot huh mean girls
oh yeah girls is a great because you can walk in at any moment yeah it's just like any moment
still funny yeah that's best moment movie. It's still funny.
Tim Meadows' best moment, in my opinion.
So goddamn funny.
Which one?
And I would rate it higher.
Just him as the best movie.
The principal, right?
The Anthony thing, though.
Yeah, the Anthony.
He kept getting mad at me for calling him Anthony, almost as mad as I got at my sister
for naming her son Anthony.
I would rate Mean Girls higher after it got to cable.
Yeah.
I'm with you on that.
Yeah.
Because it doesn't lose anything on cable.
I don't need to change it.
Oh, that dude, the guy that plays the 11th, the dude, like the hot guy.
Yes.
I was an extra for a show like Cupcake Cage Match or some shit.
Sure.
But he was flirting with me, I think.
Oh.
Yeah.
He kept calling me South Dakota.
That was fun.
There you go.
Yeah. Could have gotten that D.I. fun there you go should have fucked him
I was just saying a little mean girl side note
Steve Buscemi
that's the weirdest part about that movie
is when you watch it there's just a ton of
like Steve Buscemi
pedophile jokes
that just couldn't make past that point
like there's so many jokes where he's like
she's like Rockhound showed me how to use
a tampon.
He's like, I didn't show her.
I didn't show her.
2017, that character would have been next.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I cry at the end of Armageddon when, you know, your only job now is to take care of my daughter.
I just got goosebumps when I thought about it.
Your only job now is to take care of my daughter.
And then he puts himself and, you know, kills himself. He said that to Buscemi. Steve, I want you to fight I thought about it. Your only job now is to take care of my daughter, and then he puts himself and kills himself.
He said that to Buscemi?
Steve, I want you to fight Ben Affleck, Baron Elfman.
And then take care of my kids.
And you know what I mean.
Rock out.
That movie's just arrived.
That movie was great in the theaters, and it's great hung over on a couch on a Sunday.
I remember when it came out, how big a deal it was.
It was huge.
Huge.
They advertised it on the Super Bowl and shit.
Yeah, that movie was fucking huge.
Yeah.
That's like an American. That's a monster truck of a movie.
It came out, yeah, it is a monster truck of a movie.
Yeah.
It came out after Deep Impact?
Fuck Deep Impact.
Nah, I like Deep Impact more than you think.
You like it more?
Really?
No, I don't like it more, but I like it more than you do.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't even have an opinion on it.
I like it.
Other than I don't like it.
I'm Team Geddon.
Yeah, I'm Team Geddon.
Like Dante's Inferno versus Volcano.
Like there's a bunch of those. Yeah.
Bugs Life versus Ants.
But I am definitely in a,
I think that those are the two closest.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I mean,
Deep Impact has like
a bunch of different storylines
that it's touching on.
And Armageddon just kind of has the one.
Yes.
That's like the big difference
between those two.
And so that's.
Well, it's got the,
it's got the,
the meteor thing. And then also what happens to that graham cracker animal yeah yeah that is a huge
thing tmz just did a where are they now yeah yeah i think those brand new teeth of below's got a
hold of it just come on up put it through the old car uh armageddon was uh armaded on
armageddon was an armaded on. I'm fucking roasting these. Emmy nominated.
Emmy nominated. Emmy nominated.
Emmy nominated writer. Cheerleader prom date.
Hotel accommodated.
Jensen, it's time for your second pick.
Oh, boy.
This is very difficult.
By the way, that's on my list.
I will say
this is
very difficult because I'm noticing I'm going very classic.
Yes.
And I don't know if that's where I want to go.
But then in my other pick, it's kind of I'm very horror.
This is tricky, though.
It's tricky to round out this list because there's so many.
You could have five classic films.
How many picks did we get in this one?
Five, right?
Yeah.
There's a lot of really good movies, too.
Yeah.
I got a bunch left.
I got a bunch left I'm gonna say
For my second pick
I'm going to take
Seven
Fuck that was on my list
I thought I was gonna snake that in the fifth round
That was on my list
I think that was going no matter what
I just think it's a great movie
It's also one of the best times I've had in the theater yes like it was a real theater experience for me and
it's just and also it's fincher's best i don't care what else he's done since or whatever yeah
uh it's just a great movie my first twist that i remember seeing was in seven where i'm like no
yeah like one of those jaw dropping opens the box and could anyone have had a better year than kevin
spacey that year usual suspects usual suspects swimming with sharks
seven really that was 365 days yeah just because the guy's got a library card doesn't make him
fucking yoda yeah i don't know what you meant by that it's a quote in seven i love it also
he's not credited at the beginning like you didn't know he was in it he hides his credit
until he shows up so cool yeah i didn't know that. Really good. It's a good movie.
He's also,
well,
the movie is like gory in certain parts and everything.
Yeah.
That stuff turns me off.
But in seven,
it didn't.
It's just good.
It kind of made sense.
There's that one part.
It's really good.
There's that one part.
Really gnarly.
The knife.
The knife.
Oh,
yeah.
Well,
also the person they walk in on.
The glutton guy?
Yeah,
that wakes up.
Yeah.
That's a jump.
Oh,
God.
That's a jump. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a, that wakes up. Yeah. That's a jump. Oh, God. That's a jump.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like a jump scare.
Yeah.
Dude, there's some great moments.
And also Pete Gwyneth.
It probably is.
Yeah.
Specifically at the end.
Yeah.
But it is Pete Gwyneth.
Yeah.
That's Goop on from that point.
It is Goop from there.
Goop on.
Was Shakespeare in love?
Post.
That's when she posted it.
That's when she got her Oscar and went, was he a lifestyle? Goop on Was Shakespeare in Love? Post That's when she got her Oscar Goop on baby
I also love Seven because I was pretty young when it came out
So it was one of the first movies I used to flex on my little friends
That you had seen?
I saw Seven, I didn't even close my eyes bro
You didn't see Seven?
Let me tell you all about it
Were you watching The Rescuers Down Under?
Everyone's five-vel goes west.
Yeah.
And you're like, it's ahead at the end.
I always thought Popeyes should get, just sort of take that clip where it's like, what's
in the box?
What's in the box?
Oh, it's good.
Popeyes.
Popeyes chicken.
Popeyes chicken, honey.
That's a pretty good commercial.
Something like that.
That's a good way to sell it.
That's what's in the box.
What's in the fucking box?
It's Popeyes, dude.
It's Popeyes.
That is a good thing. You told me to drive the Postmates. That's why they came up with Postmates. That's what's in the box. What's in the fucking box? It's Popeyes, dude. It's Popeyes.
You told me to drive the Postmates.
That's why they came up with Postmates.
That's why that van was the first Postmates.
That's 100% true.
That's a real true fact. That was true.
That was a true fact, actually.
Kills me when people say that.
True fact.
That's true.
Seven, it's probably the only movie we're going to draft with a number instead of a letter.
I like that, too.
Oh, yeah.
Are there other movies?
No.
That ever placed a letter with a number? I don't think so. Oh, not like that. No, no, no. Oh, yeah. Are there other movies? No. That ever placed a letter with a number?
I don't think so.
Oh, not like that.
No, no, no.
Oh, Fast Five?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not a letter fate to represent.
Fate of the Furious, wasn't that? Oh, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
Although, technically, fate uses the eight.
Seven doesn't use the seven.
So you picked seven in
which is a great movie wait now i'm gonna have a panic attack i'm thinking too hard
my body's going into pa mode
i'm shaking bro
throw caution to the wind over there brad pitt morgan freeman in senevinan
and the universe is ever expanding so okay i'm gonna think about those two things
oh shit why'd you throw that out there so i do have i but i am nervous looking right now
i am very horror heavy between psycho and seven it's just why it's a bit of an issue you got
got to loosen up the next pick i got to loosen up some shelves and some thrills yeah to lead it off so uh sean and it's time for you to make your second and third pick
stoked uh so my i got my i guess i'm gonna call i'm gonna call that my action perhaps i'll call
tombstone the western and then uh next i'm gonna pick my gangster movie and i'm thrilled that
this is what i thought you were gonna take first it is there i'm gonna pick casino yes that's what he should have won the fucking oscar for that in my opinion yeah is the
best corsese movie ever really yeah i think it's i think it's really i don't think it's
a lot better than goodfellas it's just like it just i love it just an apple butter spread above
goodfellas yeah sure very good Yeah. I love the movie casino.
I don't think it's better than good.
It's just,
it's one of those.
It's,
they're almost the same.
They're just about those two different.
Can I make a couple arguments for it?
Of course.
For being better than good fellas.
Sharon stone is a tour de force.
She is great.
Like,
like way better than Lorraine.
Braco.
She's better.
Way better.
And that's unfair to Lorraine Braco.
I mean,
what are you going to do?
But,
but no,
Sharon stone destroys that movie.
One, two, Rickles. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? But you're absolutely correct. But no, Sharon Stone destroys that movie. Uh-huh.
She's great.
One, two, Rickles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is enough for me. I mean, Rickles is a good argument.
Yeah.
Rickles be Henny Youngman.
What is he only?
He only has like two lines in the movie or some shit.
But he's so good in it.
He's great, though.
Just his scared face is so good.
Yeah.
So good.
Joe Pesci, that's like, to me, the toughest Joe Pesci was in Casino.
I loved it.
And he's like, he's like he's like he's like
double crosses in it uh-huh i mean there's just good shit so how did that guy that he stabs with
the pen how's that dude not die he stabbed him i thought counted one time it's like 17 times
in the throat he stabs that guy and then at the end you hear him whimpering yeah is that a little
girl frankie he also does this i remember so vividly because i saw that in the theater as
well and loved in the theater as a kid.
And I remember there's a scene where De Niro, I'm sorry, where Pesci is consoling Sharon Stone.
And then he slowly just pushes her head down to her.
He does it twice in the movie.
He does that with a showgirl, too.
It's so gross when he does it. Like, I remember it vividly being like, actually like barfing into my own throat.
Well, there's that.
He's talking about the milk fed veal or whatever.
And then he gets into that Cadillac with just bling and white leather seats.
It's slide over tuts.
And then he does the same thing.
Just pushes her head down.
You're like, dog.
Pesci, man.
That was his move.
I like the scene with James Woods and De Niro, too, where they're just facing each other
in that diner.
Human garbage can, James.
Human garbage can.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Human garbage can.
Yeah.
That would be an argument for Goodfellas. Allegedly a human garbage can. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. Yeah, human garbage can. Yeah. That would be an argument for Goodfellas.
Allegedly a human garbage can.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
He is litigious.
He is litigious.
He is litigious.
That's right.
I think you can call someone a human garbage can and get away with it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we all just did nothing.
My opinion is.
My opinion.
Right.
He's a human garbage can.
Just to clarify that.
Yeah.
That's my opinion.
You're never going to lose me on a movie where robert de niro plays
a member of the chosen people
yeah you're never gonna lose me on that jay-z references left a bunch of times yeah yeah yeah
a member of the chosen people wait a rothstein sam rothstein yeah i can change her I thought I'm fucking Sam Rothstein Yeah his suits
The bold choices they make with color in that movie
Are so cool
And also another great soundtrack
Yes the Tangiers right
The Tangiers
Cool ending a little bit of a Goodfellas ending
Sort of a reveal about your life being garbage
Right the collapse of all this
All those scorsese
movies that big up that lifestyle do like i mean wolf of wall street does that as well
although no one understood it in wolf of wall street people like thought they were the best
right yeah people did like insane take that movie in a weird way irony irony was lost
yeah one in comparison to the other two um yeah people really like douchebags are really like
fuck yeah that's fucking right yeah yeah yeah
that's my favorite fucking movie dude
I do want to remind you though Scorsese made
like Taxi Driver
and he also made like King of Comedy
some other movies Raging Bull
they're definitely in the discussion of best Scorsese movie
oh yeah yeah yeah
I mean honestly when you can bring them all up
I still think Casino is my absolute favorite
it's maybe fourth or fifth for me but I love fifth for me, but I love you and respect your opinions.
It's your heart.
Yeah.
It's your heart.
I love you and respect your opinions.
I mean, you have a point.
It's just not my point.
Yeah.
It's just not the winning point.
Shout out to Dame Willard.
0.9 seconds.
Casino?
Casino.
And then your third pick.
Drastically changing.
I was going to say Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park. One word. Drastically changing. Drastically changing genres. I was going to say Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park.
One word.
Drastically changing.
Drastically changing, yeah.
We are going to go with a movie near and dear to my childhood.
And I'm going to pick Aladdin.
Oh.
I had that on my list, too.
That is the best Disney movie with one word.
I think it's my favorite.
One word.
I wanted an animated flick.
It's my favorite.
Easily my favorite Disney movie. Again, I feel like it's not a popular opinion. That's a great pick. No, I'm with you. It's not my favorite you know one where I wanted an animated flick it's my favorite easily my favorite
Disney movie
yeah
again I feel like
it's not a popular opinion
that's a great pick
no I'm with you
it's not my favorite
my favorite's the Jungle Book
I like that you picked that
I think mine might be
Little Mermaid
ooh Little Mermaid's great too
Lion King's in there
Lion King
yeah I love Lion King
I think it was Jungle Book
Lion King for me
can I just say though
give me some fucking air
who's talking over here
he's got so much to ask
he's got so much
to fucking ask.
That's most Disney movies, by the way.
Can I tell you, Sean, that I'm glad that you picked that.
But I'm looking you in your face right now.
You fucked up.
Oh, wow.
Get him.
You fucked up.
Get him.
Did I?
In a cartoon?
You're saying in a cartoon?
When I pick my next pick, you're going to be so upset.
You want to put your shirt back on and talk about it like a gentleman?
I'm just saying.
David's doing push-ups.
His shirt that says something we can't say.
David put bars around himself.
He's in a push-up right now doing that bed workout where you press his.
He's doing push-ups.
He's got a copy of the Quran.
It's a Punjabi cell.
In the original Arabic.
David's done 30 burpees so far, and he's not breathing heavy.
Listen, man.
I'm just saying there's movies that you reference all the time that I know are in your world.
Right now, he's in Downward Dog yelling at you.
He's very focused.
He's getting a tattoo while giving a tattoo.
He's fucking pissed, dude.
He's a tattoo centipede.
David doesn't say understand anymore.
He says overstand.
Aladdin. Aladdin is a great big film. He says overstand. Aladdin.
Aladdin is a great pick, though.
I had it memorized.
And so when we moved.
You probably should have stayed one jump ahead of the bread line.
You know what I mean?
Oh.
Just one.
And that's no joke.
We moved into my step.
When my mom and my stepdad got married, I had the whole upstairs.
We didn't have cable or anything.
And I had that on VHS and then like a bunch of Simpsons episodes.
So I watched Aladdin all the fucking time.
It's so good. Did you ever play the video game?
Ooh, it's a good video game.
What was it for? Genesis?
Yeah, Genesis and the S.
Pretty straightforward, right?
You're on the magic carpet and you have to get away from the lava
and you can like swing around the pole.
It's so fun.
Did they use Robin Williams' voice? No.
No. It was just the written words?
Have you heard of the...
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you heard this theory, which was later verified?
The dick?
The whole tale of Aladdin.
You know when the guy's trying to sell you the...
Like the guy at the beginning of the movie who sells you the lamp?
That whole thing is just a story he tells.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
I thought you were going to talk about how the priest has a dick.
I was going to say.
I thought it was going to be like that guy had a boner or something.
Yeah.
There's definitely that shit, too.
Oh, there's that bee flying where it says, take off your clothes?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Or no, it's the genie when he's the bee and he goes, take off your clothes.
Yeah, I thought it said teenagers take off your clothes.
Oh, maybe.
See, you never know.
More Buscemi talk.
I could do a...
One of the few impressions I can do is Gilbert Godfrey saying Jafar as Iago.
Jafar! Maybe not. Ian, you really could step into Gilbert Godfrey saying Jafar. As Iago. Jafar?
Maybe not.
Ian, you really could step into the Godfrey.
Jafar?
Like the vortex that is Godfrey in cartoons, you might be able to walk into.
I'm ready for it.
You could do a lot of Godfrey.
Here's the thing that you need to understand, Jafar.
But what is your version of it?
If I didn't tell you to do Godfrey, but I was like, Ian, you're reading for the bird.
For a parrot?
Yeah.
In Aladdin.
Maybe exactly the same.
Well,
let me put it in my own spin.
J,
Jafar.
Is that a parrot?
Jafar,
listen to me.
I've been around the block.
He's a Jewish man.
It's pretty good.
Jafar,
I've been around the block.
Listen,
here's the thing you're going to want to do right out of the gate.
Disinvolve yourself from this Aladdin character.
I would hire character first of all
she's got a tiger is that really what you want in your life right now also this is a scene from
casino yeah you really want to be the kind of person who wakes up early to take care of a tiger
all of a sudden you're going to be in the front yard scooping tiger shit up with a shovel i don't
see that for you i don't think he said tiger shit in the movie though no no maybe that's not
different we're gonna flip it on its ear a little bit okay fair enough and that parrot also ripped the fucking butts off a pack of marlboros
every day and smoked them straight absolutely right to the filter right to the filter smoking
saudi arabian saudi arabian spirits uh
robin williams fantastic and oh yeah great soundtrack great soundtrack i love those songs
a whole new world dude that's a karaoke jam forget about it yeah that is that's for like fantastic in it. Oh yeah. Great soundtrack. All those songs were fun. A Whole New World, dude?
That's a karaoke jam. Forget about it.
That is. That's for like a voice box
situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whole New World sounds like
a song like Brandon Wardell would play at that teen party.
Yeah, he absolutely would.
Because it's a jam, but also like, who's admitting it
at a club? You know what I mean? Brandon Wardell played it
six times in a row. Yeah. With like a
bomb on it. Yeah, yeah.
Like a flex bomb.
You already knew.
I like it.
And I wanted an animator. I'm very
interested, David, to see what's going to happen when it
gets back to you. You got me shook.
You're going to be so mad. I hope it's ants.
It's like we're in the paint.
I hope it's B, just the B movie, but
he says B. We're in the paint and I can't
see the ball right now. I don't know where it's at.
Speaking of being shook, there's no such thing as halfway crooks, but there is such a thing
as third picks.
Jansen, would you like to make a pick?
That seems like a great transition.
Emmy nominated.
Emmy nominated.
All right.
So I'm very intense in my first two picks, so I do have to release a bit.
Yes.
And so...
You're going to take the foot off the throat release a bit yes uh and so you're gonna you're gonna take the foot off the throat
for a bit i thought you're gonna make a jerk off joke uh i'm going to pick with my third selection
beetlejuice oh it's on there uh i just think it's a great movie i think it's a third pick by
definition it does you know what i mean it feels like a third pick by definition. It does feel like a third pick. It feels like a third pick.
Also, Michael Keaton is a goddamn
American treasure in this film and in most films.
But in this, we have a young
beautiful Alec Baldwin.
A young beautiful Gina Davis.
We have a young beautiful Wyonna Ryder.
We have Catherine O'Hara.
We have a cast of just
stellar roles.
Things that I can just bring up to you,
the waiting room,
things that have just lived on forever,
the song, the Harry Belafonte, Deo.
These things are-
There's a character named Otho,
which I've loved.
Who just died, unfortunately.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I like that actor very much.
I've absolutely loved that character.
He's great.
So many good things in that movie,
and I just think with the rest of my
picks, it makes for a nice round out.
It's a wonderful sorbet.
And Burton, by the way.
Because Burton has fallen the fuck
off. But there was a time
when Pee-wee's Big Adventure,
Beetlejuice,
hit after hit for this guy,
and Batman Returns,
which is so great i like
batman returns one word batman but i will say but i will say batman returns is my favorite batman
yes batman returns my favorite batman which i think batman returns blocks the batman pick
in just my opinion me too i think if you pick batman you're making the wrong selection i would
rather pick none and given props to batman i'm with you i had that very thought earlier i say
the batman returns my favorite batman movie out of all even nolan's world yes okay it's a fun world devito
pfeiffer yeah he was keaton again keaton again keaton again god he was gross oswald
cavapod yeah so gross great representation yeah that was good and great comedian in a
uh action movie they did it later with jim carrey and it was terrible yeah only him and uh eric bonner eric bonner so funny have managed to do it he was a stand-up in uh
australia really is that why he's in funny people yeah yeah that's why he's in it yeah
oh no i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know No, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Is that your band name?
Just Australian.
Oh, no.
Shout out to our Australian listeners.
Hello.
That's my Australian.
Oh, no, not no.
Yeah, man.
This is a no.
Not no.
This is a no.
This is a no.
No.
No.
That's not a no.
This is a no.
That's a spoon.
That's actually a beer. That's actually a beer.
A beer?
No, a beer. Beer. You can't drink a beer. A beer? No, a beer.
Beer.
You can't drink a beer.
Shrimp on the body.
We just isolated all of our Australia.
We are so sorry.
Oh, that's not at all.
To an end down under.
Sorry about that and our president.
And about Vegemite.
Vegemite.
Beetlejuice, man.
Beetlejuice.
When he gets his head shrunk at the end.
So good.
When he's creeping on that.
Oh, it's so crazy.
There's another.
There's one scene I always think about, too, when he's trying to get Wounder Rider to say Beetlejuice three times. gets his head shrunk at the end. So good. When he's creeping on that. Oh, it's so crazy. There's one scene I always think about too,
when he's trying to get Wounder Rider to say Beetlejuice three times.
And he's like,
you got it.
You got it.
And then he's like trying to get her to say,
and he goes,
look over there.
And it's just a little beetle sitting in a launcher.
He's like,
hi.
It makes me laugh just thinking about it.
It's so funny.
There's that part where he's at like the,
the whore house.
Yes.
And he,
when I was a kid,
I didn't get this,
but he eats them all.
Oh,
also he's horny. He popped all these horns like pop out of his chest. He eats them house. Yes. And he, when I was a kid, I didn't get this, but he eats them all. Oh, also he's horny.
He popped all these horns like pop out of his chest.
He eats them all.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
He eats the hookers.
He'll juice.
And also the woman who plays the recently deceased handbook giver,
like the,
the tour guide basically.
Oh yeah.
Who shows up so much good shit in this movie.
You know what?
I didn't ever put that together that those horns coming out of his chest.
Horny.
Cause he goes, I'm feeling
and he just looks down
but he doesn't say it. Tim Burton, guys.
In his
moment. In his fucking element. Yeah, he's in his prime.
And I'll say,
Halloween's coming up.
Might be a good time to run Beetlejuice back.
Wait, I got a problem. I'm very Halloween heavy.
Halloween's coming up. Oh my god, I'm so Halloween heavy.
It's the right time of year for it.
Holy shit. I mean, it is right's the right time of year for Halloween Holy shit
I mean it is right around the corner
Halloween just happens to be
around the corner
Oh god
Halloween is just
a couple weeks away
Right
Beetlejuice great pick
David Borey
Look me in the eyes
when you do it
Look me in the eyes
when you do it
I didn't want to do this
Oh no
What are you doing?
It's one word
Better be
And I do also love this movie.
Theme of the draft.
Despite you having proclaimed your love for it several times,
I needed another hit to kind of accompany Armageddon.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit.
A hit. on this one. I think you know exactly what I'm doing. What am I doing? I think you know what I'm doing. I think. I gotta go
with Hitch, brother. Oh!
Shit!
You love Hitch!
That was my romantic comedy! I knew it was, man.
You dickweed. I know, I know.
Who the fuck in this room was gonna pick Hitch besides me?
Me! I love Hitch!
Of course David was! Why would I love Hitch?
I've heard you two talk about Hitch.
I think on this podcast. Of course I was gonna...? I've heard you two talk about Hitch. Like the end scene. I did on this podcast.
Yeah.
I don't, of course I was going to, I was so sure you were going to take it third.
I didn't.
I thought it was safe for number five.
No, nothing safe.
I'll tell you what was safe.
What?
Aladdin.
Yeah.
That's what I meant when he said Aladdin.
I was like, this motherfucker.
I don't want to have to teach him.
Somebody's going to have to, kids got to go to school.
Aladdin was safe.
But yeah.
Yeah, man.
Hitch is fantastic.
There's nothing wrong with it.
I absolutely love that movie.
Favorite romantic comedy, hands down.
It's just fun.
It's Will Smith, Will Smith and off.
Will Smith doing Will Smith shit, man.
And the birth of Kevin James.
Yeah, that was his first movie.
Yeah, big movie, Kevin James.
Yeah.
Was he? 2005. Well, that's Yeah, big movie, Kevin James. Yeah. Was he?
2005.
Well, that's what made him hot box office fire.
Yeah.
Because he was so good in it, though.
Yeah.
He did great.
Pre-MMA days for him.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Before here comes the boom.
Yeah, here comes the boom.
Kevin James vehicle.
Pre-Kevin can wait.
Kevin can wait.
Kevin couldn't wait back then.
No, he couldn't.
He couldn't wait to marry that woman.
Yeah, man.
Hitch is...
Eva Mendes is so charming.
I remember I never saw it.
I never saw it in the theater or anything.
And then for some reason, Aziz Ansari loves Hitch.
A lot of people do.
And he talked about it a lot.
And then I watched it and was like, this is good.
It's good.
It's one of those movies where I desperately want to know what he's charging for his job.
Because you look at that apartment, all his dope shit.
He was killing it.
And you're like, are they paying you like 10 grand a piece?
And where are they getting these 10 grand?
He was wearing those short jogger, like those jogging pants, the short ones.
But in like 08, I wasn't even up on that.
Also, Hitch could have a sequel.
Just throwing it out there.
Ooh, that would be great.
Coming out now.
Hitchers, dude.
Hitchers.
Hitchers.
Hitched?
Oh, damn.
That'd be dank.
Son of a Hitch. Hitch, but with a Q instead of a T. Hitch's son. Son of a Hitch. I like that'd be dank oh son of a hitch hitch his son son of a hitch i
like that already i can sell that pitch i can sell that pitch easy is it jayden smith in it
you go to a son of a hitch with jayden smith go to a hitch meeting about it yeah jayden smith just
hooks kevin james up with a tree jayden smith is the guy but then the little kevin james is like
uh i like to skateboard i I fucking suck at it.
Who's the little Kevin James?
It's that fat kid from...
Fucking, who's that fat kid?
The fat kid from...
He's a fat kid.
Shut up, I was a fat kid.
From what?
Fat kid from Drillbit Taylor.
Oh.
He's got to be 20 by now.
Is he 20 by now?
What about the kid in Stranger Things with the lisp?
Oh, yeah, with the teeth missing. He's not old enough. Because it's the kid in Stranger Things With the teeth missing
He's not old enough
Cause it's gotta have a fucking element
That's what makes Hitch spicy
You're gonna try to fuck this person
You know what I'm saying
So it can't be like a kid kid
It's gotta be like
Hot Pie? Me?
Ian Carmel?
Are you son of Hitch?
I'm son of Hitch?
I'm Son of Hitch.
Does anybody in here watch Game of Thrones?
No, I don't watch it.
The dude Sam in the new one looks just like Shane with his beard. Really?
So now there's a me and a Shane
in Game of Thrones?
This dude, when he walks in, you're like, whoa.
Shave that goddamn beard.
Does he look like Shane?
Does he look like Shane or does he look like album cover Shane?
He looks like Shane.
Have you seen Shane on his album cover?
I said he looks like the guy from Deathclaw.
Dude.
You know what?
Everybody who listens to this podcast, please buy Shane Torres' album.
Please do buy it.
Because he is an amazing comedian.
Yeah.
And who you guys believe has used a lot of Photoshop.
Well, it's a drawing.
It's not even it's like
it's a drawing it's like if they were like like they clearly got his input they were like
shane what do you look like in your head shane what's your residual self-image from the matrix
shane if they never started if they never started adding corn to all the food
it was still sort of a simpler time.
Monsanto or whatever.
That didn't exist.
Before all these beef hormones and everything.
What would have happened?
This was during Prohibition when it was harder to get alcohol.
Scott just came out of my nose.
Scott came out of my nose.
He's going to be so mad.
No, because we're shouting out the album.
We love you.
Please go buy the album because he's amazing.
Shane, you're welcome to stay at my house for between 8 and 16 days whenever you want.
Shane told me.
Friend of the podcast.
Shane said he wanted to stay at the house for a couple days.
It will turn into 16.
Hitch, dude.
Shane.
Shane is young Kevin James and Hitch.
Dude, I would buy Shane Torres in that role in a second.
I gotta get her.
Yeah.
I gotta have her.
Because for some reason, real life Shane always gets with women who are way out of his league.
So it's perfect.
Out of his physical league.
I mean, we all do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time a girl is into me, I'm just looking at her like, what is your problem?
Oh, please, yeah. If I dated my league. Jesus. I'd be fucking. You'd have to date that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time a girl is into me, I'm just looking at her like, what is your problem? Oh, please, yeah.
If I dated my league.
Jesus.
I'd be fucking.
You'd have to date me.
Yeah.
I'd be dating Ian.
We'd have a good time, but the spark wouldn't be there.
We'd be great together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dinner would be fun.
I couldn't date another Cuddy Sark drinker.
No.
We'd just go on a crime spree.
Dave is in jail
because he robbed
an antique store
oh
there's some other dude
he's a cutty sark nut
they're just fucking
they're out there
killing people
good wedding reception though
yeah
a lot of cutty sark on tap
the two of them
robbed an active carnival
the cops aren't even
trying to kill him
the carnies just let him
it was crazy just let him do it
just let him walk through
yeah
they filled up a thimble
of Cutty Sark
which Carney was like
that's nuts
yeah
that's crazy
they didn't even have to
play those games
they just got the
big stuffed animal
yeah
they just took it
just take it
once again
shout out to
out at Cutty Sark USA
yes
shout out to
at Cutty Sark
the sponsorship has come
offer code all fantasy offer code the G is silent just put it in Yes. Shout out to at Cutty Star. The sponsorship has come. Offer code All Fantasy.
Offer code the G is silent.
Just put it in if they give you the offer for the code.
Just that way they'll know.
Hitch.
Yeah.
Great rom-com.
Great steal.
Love it.
With the steal.
You did fucking steal it.
I know.
It is time for my third and then fourth picks.
Why is it three and...
Wait, why do you do it?
It's a serpentine...
I knew that.
And at the risk of...
I think I know where it's going.
At the risk of being a bit, perhaps, redundant?
On the heels of my goodfellas pick.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'm now going to take my favorite movie set in Los Angeles, California.
My favorite movie set in Los Angeles, California.
All right.
I don't know what this is.
I don't know what you're thinking.
Is this a drama?
Say what?
Is this a drama?
There are drama elements.
What year is it?
This movie came out in 1995.
No, I don't know.
This isn't what I thought it was.
I'm taking this because-
12 inches of snow?
Well, I am-
Snow dogs?
I'm attached to this pic.
I'm not so attached because one wise man once told me, don't let yourself get attached to
anything.
You're not willing to walk out on a 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
Oh, heat.
Nice.
Taking the movie Heat.
He's taking Heat, yeah.
I'm taking some heat from this pic.
I was thinking about where to put Heat Heat and it was on the list, but
it's one of those ones you knew was going to get taken.
Dude, you get De Niro and Pacino at the table
just acting their dicks off.
Kind of.
I don't know if we really get what we should have got there.
I mean, maybe you want a little bit more.
You get the shot of the diner.
You know that they were both on set
that day and you're like, that is an achievement.
But if I had to write down what I wanted to see De Niro and Pacino finally sit down to act together, it just wouldn't have been that tone.
That specific scene.
Right.
If I had to pick.
But by the way, he, incredible movie.
Yeah.
But I'm just saying I like it because in DVD talk, it was kind of like the first great DVD because you could like check your surround sound.
Yes.
But I don't think the dialogue in that scene is as great as like the bank
robberies.
I haven't seen it in a long time.
Well,
there is a flip side to that coin because Al Pacino and Robert De Niro did
another movie together.
Righteous Kill.
Righteous Kill.
Right.
Yeah,
they did.
That one,
you do get the dialogue you want,
unfortunately.
Righteous Kill.
Not only Robert De Niro and Pac pacino you get fucking great val kilmer
in that movie too kilmer dude valerie kilmer prime val prime valerie kilmer the fucking
bank robberies yeah they're the best and i mean the iron the armored car robbery yeah well you
see that black stuff coming out of his ears he can't hear you it's just fucking gnarly dude the
guns like the machine guns up to
that point you only had point break yeah and then this just fucking blew it out the water break is
lucky it's a two-word movie it's neither here nor there it's fucking lucky yeah um yeah one of the
best what do you think like one of the best bank robbing scenes there's i think it is i think
absolutely and i will put baby driver which i liked very very much yeah i would say the baby
driver has very good robbery scenes but it's still one behind Heat.
Well, they're not in the bank so much. Yeah, not in it so much.
Hell or High Water?
Oh, I just watched that a couple nights ago.
For Bank Robbery Moon?
We haven't watched it.
It's incredible.
I haven't seen Baby Driver.
Baby Driver's dank, man.
John Voight?
Yeah.
John Voight is in it?
Another human garbage bag, in my opinion.
In my opinion.
Ashley Judd, dude.
Oh, Blonde Ashley Judd.
Ashley Judd is also in it. blashley judd uh it's just
a it's just a fucking great michael man right michael man yeah michael man i think michael
man's best yes people will fight because manhunter there's like other ones that are great but i do
think he's the number one but there are people who are mad listening people yeah yeah people
big big yeah they all live in australia and they're mad from about 20 minutes ago. They're like, crikey. No, I'm still angry.
Oi.
I'm still white and grow.
Wayne Grow is how they say angry in Australia.
If there was somebody, if I got to go to a screening of Heat before it came out to the Gen Pub.
Yeah.
And there was somebody outside interviewing people to get crowd reactions.
And they were like, what do you think of Heat?
I would say action packed.
It's the top of the list for movies I would call action packed.
It's not wrong.
It's not wrong.
It's absolutely action packed.
I would say that movie is action packed
it's long
it's a long movie
it's almost a two taper
it's got like you think it's over
it's not over
it's more heat
it's only getting hotter
shoot out
lots of pre 9-11 airport stuff going on
a lot of third street prom in that movie a lot of
third street promenade yeah a lot of third street promenade wait what's what's third street promenade
oh that's where the pacino dinero scene is a diner no longer there but it was no that yeah
that's where the um can i say urban outfitters the terminator yeah it's too yeah that's where
the terminator two how many did you guys Look up to see
Have had that in it
Only one
Oh I did one too
And I just looked it up
While we were sitting here
Mine earlier
I looked at
The Prestige
The Animal
God damn
The Prestige is good
But it's the
Which one was yours
The Animal
You know I don't
I said that
I don't hate a lot of things
When I talk about movies
That I like
People are like
What don't you like
And I go
The Animal
That's my game For what I do not like uh the armor car robbing scene probably took place
somewhere around here that's like a downtown la thing right yeah is it do they use the bridge at
all that that bridge that's every car commercial in the world uh yeah yeah heat good pick fantastic
yeah uh heat heat and uh it also kind of started his yelling a little bit.
Devil's Advocate was the main start of the, like,
what are you, you know, the yelling.
Oh, the Pacino yelling?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, well, I mean, son of a woman.
Oh, boy.
Who?
Son of a, I ought to take a goddamn flamethrower.
You got a good Pacino.
Yeah, you're doing some real work today.
Yeah, you did a lot of voice work this
I have I might submit this to uh
DreamWorks Animation
take out the part about Mary Blige
I will they love her
Mary Blige I've never heard anyone call her Mary Blige
not worth it not worth it not worth putting all that
breath in just Mary Blige
Mary Blige yeah oh man you changed my world
so that's my third pick okay
and with my fourth pick.
Ooh.
Uh-oh.
There's still some heaters left on the table.
There's heaters.
There's a fucking million of them.
There's bangers.
Yeah, that's what I'm nervous about.
All right.
I think I'm going to bail on trying to make this a well-rounded draft.
I'm just going.
I'm swinging hard.
I'm going to take.
Fuck.
All right. I'm'm gonna take Fargo
great movie and honestly I thought about taking it first
just to be honest with you
I thought if it didn't go first
that was another one that I was like it's for certain
gonna get picked up
probably my favorite probably my top three
favorite top five favorite movies
oh really? total yeah
is it your favorite?
it's the best coen
I think it's my best coen it's also like one of the best well-rounded murder movies of our generation uh-huh like as far as
like good murder films number one yeah i would i would agree with that yep i mean there's minnesota
movie yeah uh north korea north dakota and also people don't believe that that's what
hardcore north dakota folks sound like it'd be like that that's what hardcore North Dakota folks sound like. It'd be.
Like that.
That's what it'd be like.
I mean, there's no...
Some people think, don't be like that.
There's no Vaseline on that curveball.
You know what I mean?
That is exactly what they sound like.
Is Paul Bunyan in North Dakota or in Fargo?
That statue.
Fargo, I think.
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
I thought it was in North Dakota.
Well, that's a boat ship situation, right?
I mean, you could have a boat and a ship.
Yeah, they're both... Fargo's in North Dakota. Fargo's in North Dakota. Right. Yeah's a boat ship situation, right? I mean, you could have a boat and a ship. Yeah, they're both.
Fargo's in North Dakota.
Fargo's in North Dakota.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm not sure.
But I didn't know.
Let me see.
Frances McDormand is so good.
Killer, dude.
So good.
And I forget the guy's name, but her husband, smaller role, but he's so good.
Oh, yeah.
Well, her real husband is like Joel Cohen, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if anymore, but yeah.
Didn't know that.
Did not know that. The guy who plays her husband, that's the guy in the uh the founder which i just watched
last night right isn't that the did you see the founder i never saw the founder that's very good
oh wait no i did see the founder i thought yeah the other partner is the is the husband right yeah
yeah that's right what is that guy's name i don't know he's really good though let me look it up uh
everybody's everybody's good in that movie everyone does their part exactly how it's supposed to be yeah it's just perfect yeah it is
it's so it's so oh i was okay so here's where i was wrong yeah paul bunyan the paul bunyan statue
is in minnesota oh okay so that's what i was i they flipped it so north dakota is obviously the
movie but minnesota has the paul bunyan statue yeah they got a jolly green giant statue too
it's inspired a great television show it did as
well yeah great yeah which did you see that coming no that's not announced i was so pissed i was too
i was like fucking come on yeah i did not see it going well of all the things that have done that
there's like the buffy the vampire slayer where people love the tv show but they didn't like the
movie that much yeah right and then like weapons about it. Oh yeah. I'm trying to think of some.
Friday Night Lights.
Oh God.
Oh that's another good one. Better show than movie.
The best.
Yeah.
But better show than movie.
Better show than movie.
But still great movie.
But still both.
But better show than movie.
Good both.
Yeah.
That's probably the other one.
I mean Peter Berg did them both right?
Well he produced the TV show but he directed the movie.
That's that guy from that show Ballers.
Yeah we do like Ballers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He knows.
He knows.
Kane is in the building. yeah kane is in the building
yeah kane's in the building you just got here man maybe kane's a hater oh he's certainly getting
hated maybe kane is a hater this thing goes straight to the top yeah i'm gonna get to the
bottom of this i don't give a fuck who's at the top you know what i mean um yeah it's just it's
just it's just a great movie i remember the first time Fargo, too. It was just one of the best days of my life.
I was a freshman in college.
We went snowboarding on Mount Ashland all day.
Oh, damn.
And then went to the steak restaurant that was in town.
Oh, boy.
And just balled out.
You know, when you don't have any money, but you're still like, we're going to just fucking ball out.
Yeah, yeah.
And just ate like a delicious steak.
Yeah, that's been 35 years.
And I'd been like nipping on some bottles.
Uh-huh.
Surreptitiously, because I was 19.
19, if not 18. yeah yeah and then just also breaking the law and watched fargo and just it was the coziest feeling yep uh i saw lebowski in college talking about cohen oh yeah and uh that
was like one of those moments i know the movie has been co-opted into shit but it's a great movie
it's a great movie it's just the great movie! It's a great movie.
It's just the culture around it is annoying. It's like bacon. The wrong people like it.
But it's still good.
The fans are fucking taking it over.
But Coen Brother Theater Watching is some of my favorite shit.
Tell me if this is true or not.
I've heard that they don't let anybody ad-lib at all.
No, they're strict to the script.
Very strict. Maybe John Goodman sometimes.
I doubt it.
I've heard that it's all
written exactly how they want it.
John Goodman's just
a straight up worker.
I don't even think
he wants to ad-lib.
That dude came in
and we shot a thing with him
and he was just like
about his business.
Yeah.
Great at it,
but like about his business.
Nice guy?
Nice guy.
Nice guy.
Real good in that
Cloverfield Lane movie.
Yeah.
And King Ralph.
And King Ralph.
And you know what I love him in
is that other Coen brother.
Is that Llewyn Davis?
Flintstones? The other Coen brother? Flintstones the other co-inbrother
yeah yeah yeah it's on Llewyn Davis
yeah yeah yeah Llewyn Davis was great
Raising Arizona oh yeah
this doesn't end in the Goodman life
Goodman's also good in that Denzel
movie uh where
he's like an alcoholic plane guy yes Flight
Flight yeah he's good in Flight
he plays Denzel's son in John Q actually
yeah yeah yeah and he's an ex
He plays one of Malcolm X's best friends
He plays Martin Luther King Jr.
In the movie X
David you're a good man
It's time for your fourth pick
I am a good man
I can't believe it's still on the table
I'm going Rocky
It was down to that if I go for it
I think it's just In the fourth I got Rocky in the fourth I'm going Rocky. It was down to that if I go for it.
I think it's just in the fourth?
Rocky in the fourth?
Yeah, Rocky in the fourth is strong.
There are so many good movies.
Rocky, it's just like, it's good
because I feel like a lot of my movies are like
current era. This is kind of the older one.
Aladdin was safe.
It's so good. Rocky's so good.
Yeah, Rocky's fantastic.
It's amazing.
Written by Sylvester Stallone, too, by the way.
Written by a young, crazy.
So that and what's Orson Welles?
Citizen Kane?
Transformers, the movie?
Well, it's Rocky and some other movie, but Stallone won three different Oscars for Rocky,
I think.
Well, writer, actor.
Writer, actor, director or something? He wasn't director. Producer? I don't know. He's producer. I thought he won three different Oscars for Rocky, I think. Well, writer, actor. Writer, actor, director or something.
He wasn't director.
Producer.
I don't know.
He's producer.
I thought he won three Oscars.
Did it win Best Picture?
Or did it get Best Picture?
Hold on.
Because that would be the third one.
Yes, it did.
So, yeah.
That and it wasn't Citizen.
Well, it doesn't matter.
Rocky.
Rocky, man.
No, Citizen Kaney would have won Actor, Director, and Producer.
Okay.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't win it for Third Man, which was the other movie.
Oh, I watched that again the other night. I love Third Man. third god that's one of my favorite movies it's so it's on
netflix too oh really hook yourself up yeah it's also a criterion yes for all you whites do all
you white people who love criterion collection it's fucking shout out to joey iso shout out to
joey iso i don't even know who that is i don't know who that is yeah he's just a guy i really
like who like stole a bunch of them and then had to go like he got still on didn't win best uh
actor though no what he won best picture because he bunch of them and then had to go. Stallone didn't win Best Actor, though.
No?
He won Best Picture because he was a producer.
And then he won Best Director was this guy, John Avidsson.
But he only was nominated for Best Actor.
Same with Burgess Meredith, who played an incredible character.
Goddamn, that dude.
Lights it up.
God, that guy's good.
You're a bum rock.
And Human Bumfight, Talia Shire.
Wait, is she the one?
Human Bumfight? Yeah, Talia Shire. Wait, is she the one? Human Bum Fight?
Yeah, Talia Shire.
Is she the one who ran through the streets all crazy?
Oh, she did.
I just know she plays Adrian.
Did she really?
I think she had some episodes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Adrian?
Yo, Adrian.
Hold on.
I just Googled Talia Shire crazy.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Have you ever boxed?
Wait, I think I'm wrong.
What?
Have you ever boxed?
Like front yard or backyard?
Or either, I guess.
Yeah, only in a backyard.
I fought in a living room once.
No, Margo Kidder is the crazy one.
Margo Kidder.
But didn't Talia Shire go through some shit or did she just retire from public life?
I think she retired from public life.
You fought in a living room one time?
Yeah, when we were in high school.
Who boxed you?
Some crazy dude.
With gloves?
Yeah, we put on gloves when we boxed in a living room did
you just fucking party uh it was the name of my uh pilot that i'm part of your memes dude yeah
it's uh it's gonna go on vox it's my go 90 go 90 it's uh yeah and we just i think it was
separated pretty quickly wait a lot of body shots was that the whole point of the night
you guys were fighting or it would just break out of house parties that guy that shit would
just break out it was like yeah we had that we had that happen all senior year we did fight
clubs and stuff like this in fact one of them i'll just bring this up now and move on is uh
there's this guy ben bag eight years uh and uh he like talked a lot of shit to me and like i never i was like whatever man whatever
like ben buttons benjamin buttons benjamin buttons yeah benny b benny blanco uh backwards
and uh he so like we had this fight club and he was like i could beat the shit out of you
and uh he said he was gonna stone cold stun me a couple times. That's a very specific move.
The Stone Cold Stunner is a reverse rude awakening, right?
How big is this dude?
He was like...
No Stone Cold Steve Austin's move.
Yeah, I forget exactly what it was.
Standing DDT, basically.
Okay, yeah.
But back to the wrestler.
He was maybe like 5'10".
What?
And thick, but like fat thick.
Not like a wrestler thick?
Like wrestling fan in 2003 thick.
Not like that.
You gotta be taller than that for the stunner. Not like a wrestler. Like wrestling fan in 2003 thick. Not like that. You like, you know.
You got to be hot.
You got to be taller than that for the stunner.
Yes.
Did you guys fight?
Yes.
We fought at a middle school.
And I didn't, I only.
You were in middle school or you went to a middle school?
We went to a middle school and fought.
It was after, it was like on a Saturday or after school.
Holy shit, dude.
I mostly just took him to the ground and put him in a headlock because I felt bad for him.
I mostly just took him to the ground and put him in a headlock because I felt bad for him.
But like, he might have, he wasn't, he was at the same school as us, but he might have had a slight learning disability.
Wait, this isn't boxing.
You just fought a slow kid.
Yeah.
You fought a slow kid.
You fought a slow kid.
Yeah.
But not like different classes slow, but like, you know.
Like small bus? bus like not small
like no timing on tests maybe that oh boy i'll take it to that no not same bus as us
oh boy maybe maybe had a little leg up on the test like secret shame slow and i didn't really
yes like i don't think i'm fast i didn't like mom has to sign every report card slow and i
didn't realize until later till my buddy Graham was like,
I think he's like a little bit slow, isn't he?
And I was like, oh.
That is the victory you can't talk about now. But he was so into wanting to fight.
Dude.
And it was fun.
And nobody would fight me because I was way bigger than everybody.
That's why our friendship never gets old.
Every day.
Every day there's new sparks.
Ben B, baby.
Rocky, dude.
Rocky's a great movie.
Shout out to Ben B.
Wherever you're at. Ben B's definitely dead. b's definitely dead he's definitely license plates or whatever jensen it's time for
your fourth pick um my fourth pick is i'm not going for one well well you know what i was
gonna go for something i don't think anyone's gonna pick but i'm gonna actually go for something
i can't believe is in the fourth all right and it's more of like a statement to everyone like
i feel like if you listen to this podcast you're gonna say i can't believe this lasted to the fourth because
there are things i love on this list that are more like movies that i will watch more yeah but how
the fuck did jaws get to the fourth oh yeah how the fuck did jaws stick around actually the first
movie i wrote down the first blockbuster of all time. Yeah. This is a fucking classic movie.
Don't go in the water.
And I'm almost just picking it
because I can't believe
it's in the fourth.
There were a couple other things
I can't believe
are in the fourth.
Oh, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
When you said perfect
for this podcast,
I thought you were going
to take Entourage the movie.
And I was going to point out
that it's three words.
Yeah, too many words.
But Ballers,
when it becomes a movie,
it'll just be Ballers.
As soon as we're done
writing it, yeah.
Jaws is a great movie.
Great. I mean, come on. And it's so, yeah, so yeah it's just iconic also i think it's weird there's been
no spielberg you know what i mean true yeah there were other spielbergs that i thought of including
dual which is a great movie from spielberg's early works yes yeah yeah uh but i i jaws is
obviously is quintessential sort of early work that an et which is technically one word is that does that count
it's two letters because i thought it was the extraterrestrial oh yeah oh yeah well that's also
our problem with leon the professional right i was thinking that too i was gonna bring it on
yeah and then i was like i don't want to have this fight i fucking it would have turned into
a fight too yeah it would have been rough roy sche Scheider? I love Roy Scheider. Young Dreyfuss?
By the way, that's my fucking rap name now.
Young Dreyfuss.
Young Dreyfuss.
That's a fucking dope.
A.K.A. Dickie Dreyfuss.
Yeah, baby.
I am very Dreyfuss.
But yeah, that's a great movie.
Young Dreyfuss God?
Yeah.
Yeah, Young Drey God.
These are two, now that you picked two movies that you can see on the Universal Studios
tour.
I did.
Working on Viva Las, Viva Las Vegas really made an impact on me.
That's right.
Every movie I've ever seen is from when I worked on Viva Las Vegas.
So get excited for The Grinch That Stole Christmas.
It's so good.
It's a great movie.
It sucks that it vilified sharks in a big way.
Because before that, people loved them.
I mean.
Yeah, did people love them?
No, but they didn't have big opinions on them. They were like, oh, it sucks if you get bit. And then Shark's Tale really put the nail in the coffin. Yeah, people loved him. I mean... Yeah, did people love him? No, but they didn't have big opinions on him.
They were like, oh, it sucks if you get bit, but like...
And then Shark's tail really put the nail in the coffin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Another Scorsese reference.
But Jaws, yeah.
I mean, and the scene with the blood coming out of the beginning scene with the beach.
I mean, there's so many things that have just went on to become sort of like a central movie scene.
Well, just how they don't use the shark.
We're going to need a bigger boat.
That's such a great line. God. Just how they don't use the shark. We're going to need a bigger boat. That's such a great line.
God.
Just how they don't show the shark forever.
It's such a mystery, the whole movie.
And that was a bug that became a feature, right?
Because they were really disappointed
with what the robotic shark looked like.
Yeah.
So they're like, we'll just not show it.
And then it turned out to be like-
That's the raddest part.
Yeah.
Favorite Spielberg?
Ooh.
See, because Jurassic Park is high for me.
Yeah, I can't. It's probably Jurassic Park is high for me yeah I can't
it's probably Jurassic Park
close encounters
saving private
oh I put this above saving private
oh no Schindler's List number one
if we're just talking about a good time in the movie
we're just talking about
don't forget about things for a while
bring your date over
poppin some Sark.
Yeah, popping some Sark.
Do you think anyone's ever
drank Cuddy Sark and watched Schindler's List?
I mean, not until tonight.
There's probably some dudes
in the Bronx
who've done that.
A little rough around the edges type dude.
You almost see a movie about a list.
We're going to take a trip down our family's heritage.
You sit the fuck down.
Watch this fucking movie
with your fucking dad.
Jaws, great movie.
Hell yeah.
We could talk about it more,
but we are doing the thing
we always do.
Yeah, we are.
We should spend an hour and a half
talking about the first pick.
Yeah.
Sean Jordan,
it's time for your fourth
and then fifth picks
as it is.
This is intense, dude. Ser picks as it is this is intense
serpentine drift
this is intense
do we do a list
dump at the end
yeah yeah yeah
well whatever we
leave on the table
in which there's
going to be a grip
okay with my
fourth pick
I'm going to go
sappy
because I'm a
crier
I like sappy
I like romance
I like love
so I'm going to
pick Titanic
oh
which could arguably be the biggest one for a movie of all time yeah I like sappy. I like romance. I like love. So I'm going to pick Titanic. Oh.
Which could arguably be the biggest one for a movie of all time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's another classic.
Young Nardo, dude, just cutting shit up,
getting it done.
I mean, and again, William Zane.
Big fan of William Zane.
Young William Zane.
Two Zanes.
Two Zanes?
He's all haired up in this one.
And Zane in the membrane.
And Zane in the membrane? And Zane in the membrane, yeah one. Insane in the membrane. Insane in the membrane.
Billy Zane in the membrane.
Yeah, I just absolutely love Titanic.
I don't like it at all.
Yeah.
You know, it's not up your alley.
It's a two-taper.
It definitely is a two-taper.
Tape one, kind of down.
Tape two, I could live without live without oh tape two is terrible once i also
this was like i'm that age where like all the girls in my class saw it yes seven times yeah
like i knew a bunch of those girls who were going to see it like uh you know you're just like a
little boy oh it's fucking titanic stupid i could never live up to young nardo i mean all of a sudden
we're putting that image in girls heads i love it man i got that low t you see i was always like yeah i'll go watch i'll go watch titanic
witcha you know and then see it in theaters yeah definitely i think just once i saw it with my
parents it was nervous people were gonna see me i remember it well that's a fair that's a fair
that's a fair thing to be worried about winslet's boobs are cool. Into that. I'm the bro. All the Irish.
The band plays on.
I am very open about being a bro.
I'm a bro and proud.
He is the bro.
You're bro-ping about it.
I'm very bro-ping.
It's a bro-ping kimono for me.
You're Josh Bro-ping.
Yeah, Josh Bro-ping.
All the Irish in steerage.
Where they belong, by the way.
Down there like party animals. Where you Irish party animals I could win a first class ticket
I'll be like I'll be down there with my blood
there are good parts
I haven't watched it again since
since 98 probably
I loved Titanic
that was me
all that effort the old woman has to put
into tossing that necklace
that's not with me for some reason fey ray
is that fey ray yeah yeah king kong that is i'm glad that you that sound she makes
love one time that song's a banger oh lindy on's got a few of them yeah all coming back to me now
i would go see her residence in Vegas.
Residency. So that is your fourth pick
with your final pick. Fuck, man.
This is so
buck.
And I might have a question for
experts. Yeah. I might.
Oh, man. I'm gladiator.
Ooh, fuck you, dude.
Alright. Fine.
A lot of epicness.
That's great.
That's great.
Armageddon, Gladiator, a lot of big movies.
These are big movies.
These are big movies.
Gladiator.
I picked, this says something about maybe I drink too much because I picked all these
movies that I like to watch when I'm hungover on a Sunday that are always on Sunday days
on PBS.
A lot of historical movies, too.
Yeah.
When do you like to watch movies better than when you're hungover?
Never.
That's the best time to watch movies.
That or like a Friday in the theaters.
Or next Friday.
Yeah, or next Friday.
Or Friday after next if you're busy or something.
Or The Fifth Element.
I'm not a big Russell Crowe guy.
Really?
I mean, The Nice Guys is fantastic, but I've never been like, I fucking love Russell Crowe.
You love 40-Otter Foot of Grunts, though, his band, though, right?
Oh, my God. Yeah, you're a big fan of it yeah dog star oh boy 40 odd foot of grunts and the baking brothers 30 seconds to mars that new thing song came on on the way here and i was
like maybe i don't hate this as much really fuck leto fuck 30 seconds garbage the ballers of music
wait a minute you love it yeah okay all right right yeah gladiator man i absolutely love it joaquin phoenix plays
an amazing psycho joaquin is dope i love his white armor it's all crazy looking like it's
like how do they make that yeah it looks like when you get like a custom skin on halo or some
shit like that maximus is just tough man sometimes the frost makes the blade stick
yeah when he fucking barehands that sword.
He really wants to fuck his sister in that, though, right?
Yeah.
Also, very good Hans Zimmer.
Yeah, great Hans Zimmer.
Great Hans Zimmer work.
Yep.
I would throw that shit on while I played Ultima Online.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Boot up Ultima Online and listen to Hans Zimmer.
And if that was sometimes, what were the other times?
A lot of rap music, actually.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would listen to-
What about the song about Eric Clapton's son?
Oh, yeah, sometimes.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you know my name?
If I saw you-
Playing World of Warcraft, listening to that.
If I saw you in Scarabray.
That's just for the Ultima Online heads out there. Gladiator. Warcraft was into that. If I saw you in Scarabray.
That's just for the Ultima Online heads out there.
Gladiator.
Excellent pick.
Yeah, man.
I wanted it.
It's fucking great.
I'm happy.
Scipio and what are his horse's names?
Whatever.
I don't know.
One of them, it's Silver.
I remember the trivia.
Oh, Silver? Those are two famous-
Like Hi-Ho Silver?
Like Hi-Ho Silver.
When he points that, it's like Silver and Trigger.
Oh.
Yeah.
Which are two famous movie horses. When he points to, it's like silver and trigger. Oh. Yeah. Which are two famous movie horses when he points to his armor.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's got that dude in it who's just in movies where he's absolutely huge.
Oh, yeah.
The one guy that takes a bite of his soup for him to make sure it's not poison.
Right, right, right.
I don't know whatever in Game of Thrones, which I've never seen, but I know there's a big guy on it.
Yes.
It's a different dude, I think.
No, I know.
But similar statue.
That would be age issues.
Fucking the fighting scenes are so
the armor yeah they're the best that when that one glided with her like with like the sad the
crying face thing and one of her boobs is out sorry to bring up boobs twice in a row i brought
up aids twice so yeah that's true yeah we're fine you're really on one tear today i know
full of beans this guy this guy over here uhensen, it's time for your final pick.
Okay, as experts,
as you guys drive experts,
now I have a theme in my picks.
Okay.
There's definitely like a horror aspect
to everything I've picked.
There really is to everything you've picked.
So I wonder,
do I completely stray
or do I stay to theme?
I think they're both pretty cool.
Like you got the group.
Do you want the lead singer now
or do you just want to have a boy band?
It is.
You inadvertently, because you came out up top saying you want that, and you went ahead
and drafted four small boys.
Do I stay in five?
Here's the thing, is when you stray on the five, because I'll-
I'm asking, do I play small ball, basically?
I think you play small ball, because it's unsatisfying when you go four in one way.
I agree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even though there are movies
i'd rather pick over it i do think i pick this movie because it fits my theme i like it it's
like that time when i was a kid and my mom and i had like from the same edition of the chronicles
of narnia right you know the line she got you a different cover from a different cover fuck it
and i was like no and she was upset with me she was right Stu Carmel shout out to you
I'm going to stay in theme
I'm going to stay in theme and for my final pick
Gremlins
no
that's not what I thought you were going for
can I just say while you have stayed in the same
genre you've done a good job of diversifying
I did comedy versus real horror
I tried to I stayed in
basically I stayed in what Tim Burton would teach in film horror? Yeah. I tried to, I stayed in, basically I stayed in
what Tim Burton would teach
in film school.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really did.
That's where I tried to stay.
You got some goofballs in there?
You got some straight ups?
I haven't seen Gremlins in a while,
but it's one of the best.
Yeah.
It definitely does.
You know what else is good?
Huh?
Gremlins 2.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gremlins 2, good movie.
Is Gremlins 2 the one
with Bat-Gremlin?
Yeah.
Have you seen that
Keen Peel sketch?
Yes. The Gremlins 2 pitch? What about Gremlin? Have you seen that Keen Peel sketch? The Gremlins 2 pitch?
What about a Gremlin that's electric?
Yes, in the movie.
And then you watch all that shit's in the movie.
And there's a weird Hulk Hogan thing
where in the theater
the movie broke down.
It's like post-modern.
The movie breaks down and you see him complain
in the theater.
It's like all postmodern bullshit. Yeah.
Anyway, that's it, man. Those puppets are
great. They're really cute.
They're both cute and terrible. Oh yeah, Terry Hogan, dude.
Terry Bollea.
Bubba the Love Sponge.
Has Bubba the Love Sponge ever come
up on your podcast? No, that's the first time.
Thank you. I'll take it. And that's our secret word
so we're going to end it.
One episode short of our one-year anniversary.
Joe Dante directed, who also directed my favorite movie of all time, The Burbs.
God damn, The Burbs is good.
Oh, yeah, that's a good movie.
My favorite movie.
Luckily, there's a the right there.
No, trust me.
Burbs would have been my first pick.
But Joe Dante is a goddamn genius.
Chris Columbus wrote it, who would later write Home Alone.
Yeah, and going to direct too, right?
Yeah, he's great.
Phoebe Cates.
Phoebe Cates.
Phoebe.
That other guy.
Yeah, it's got some Zach Galligan.
Zach Galligan, that's his name.
Hoyt Axton.
Hoyt Axton.
That guy was born in the 70s and acted in the 80s.
Corey Feldman, guys.
Did we say Corey Feldman?
Oh, young Feldman, dude.
Young Felds.
Yeah.
Who's the guy...
Spending that Goonies money.
Who's the guy in the bar that's drunk
who also plays a garbage man in the Burbs?
Two Joe Dante movies.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
I haven't seen Gremlins.
I have no idea.
That is a deep cut.
But I might see Gremlins again soon
because Halloween is right around the corner.
All of my picks are Halloween. It's right there. It's coming around the bend. Halloween is right around the corner. All of my picks are Halloween is around the corner.
It's right there.
It's coming up.
It's coming around the corner.
Halloween is right around the corner.
Gremlins, great pick.
Yeah.
Boring.
Thank you.
It's time for your final pick.
David's got a sinister look on his face.
No, I don't.
I'm just saying, I just realized now that all my,
I didn't mean for them all to be kind of big hits,
but they are.
So now I'm closing it out different than I was going to.
I'm going to close it out with Hook.
Spielberg.
Spielberg.
Yeah, there's Spielberg.
Come on.
Also, I have a major problem with Hook that's been going on for years on Twitter.
Go on.
Phil Collins ruins that movie.
Oh, yeah.
Phil Collins has a little cameo.
Or no, is he Smee?
No, he's a little cameo, right?
Yeah, yeah, Anthony.
But he has a cameo as the detective, and it's terrible.
That's right.
I don't even remember.
See, people don't even know he's in it.
When he's like asking where the kids went.
Genesis, I'm sorry song for you about it.
Then I'm down.
Like he sees a dead person in the audience and then sings about him.
No, Phil Collins does technically ruin the movie Hook, but it's so small that it doesn't really.
But it does.
It's the one part of the movie that's bad. It's okay.
But that's so... Bob Hoskins
How long is that? What?
Oh, it's not for long. It's like a minute.
But if it was any longer, the movie
would have went down in flames, is what I'm saying.
Also, there's really weird cameos in it.
There are with Glenn Close.
Glenn Close is in it. He plays a pirate. George Lucas.
Yeah, and Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher,
yeah. Jimmy Buffett?
Jimmy Buffett's in that and in Jurassic World.
What is Jimmy Buffett in Hook?
Jimmy Buffett is the pirate who tries to steal
Peter's shoes. My dad looked
just like Dustin Hoffman in Hook.
That's what my dad just looked like.
With or without the wig?
Hit my dad at a long mullet. A long, gray, curly
mullet. But you can't fuck with Rufio, you're right.
Good form, Peter. Paul, gray, curly mullet. But you can't fuck with Rufio. You're right. Good form. Can't fuck with Rufio.
Poor form.
He was so good.
Yeah, he was so good.
Smee, Bob Hoskins nailed it.
Bob Hoskins nailed it.
Julia Roberts was fun.
Yeah.
I'm going to say some shit.
Were you on the bad movies draft?
The one, the Rotten Tomatoes?
The Rotten Tomatoes one?
Here's some shit.
Featuring an Academy Award nominee.
Can I tell you some shit?
Oh, yeah, I was on that.
I was on that.
30% on Rotten Tomatoes for a hook.
Apparently.
30%?
30.
Phil Collins, you motherfucker.
Yeah.
Told you.
Told you.
Apparently people don't think it's a good movie.
And to me, that's insanity.
I had no idea that people, what?
I bet you Ace Ventura's got like a low Rotten Tomatoes too.
Like it's one of those things where at the time,
people probably didn't like it.
I thought everyone loved it. Give me Ace Ventura's score. That's a good one to play against. Ace the time, people probably didn't like it. I thought everyone loved it.
Give me Ace Ventura's score.
That's a good one to play against.
Ace Ventura, 46.
Not great, but out of your mind, man.
It should be like 95.
I mean, that's one of those things.
Oh, yes, absolutely.
Ace Ventura should be 95.
Plus four pennies.
That sounds high.
Add that shit up.
95 plus four pennies.
Add that shit up.
Stick, yicky, oo-wee.
It is crazy that it got a 30%.
It's a really great move.
It is.
Julia Roberts is a Tinkerbell.
Everybody.
You put all those people.
It makes me think of Christmas.
But for reals, I really do believe that Phil Collins was in it to have a higher score.
Here's another thing that kills it for me.
I didn't even know he was in it.
I believe it.
What about the really chubby little black kid who says, you found your marbles, Peter?
And kind of like a no the
way he says it is kind of disturbing he said when he says he says the fat kid says which uh he's
talking to crooks oh and he says he and then and then peter says he sure lost his marbles didn't
he and the fat kid goes oh wait maybe i like him and then he goes, he lost him good Oh, oh yeah
But in the end he's like
You found him though?
I don't know, yeah, maybe I'm remembering it wrong
You gotta go back and watch it
However
And it's kids killing adults, that's cool
And there is a flip side to the thing I just complained about
The food fight scene, where they imagine it
Is there a doper scene in any movie ever?
When the food first appears, like when he puts
the spoon and says, oh, Rufio,
and he throws it, and it hits his face.
Oh, shit!
What a great entry!
And then it looks so delicious.
You're doing it, Peter!
No, maybe that's what I'm talking about. You're playing with us!
You're doing it, Peter!
It's just a little disturbing.
It's a little Children of the Corn to me.
But, I mean, that kid's fucking, that movie's so dope.
That scene is awesome.
And Rufio was, I was scared of him as a kid.
Rufio was scary.
What do you mean?
You look like a pirate.
They did a great show.
We kill pirates.
We kill pirates.
What do you think he does now?
Do we know what he does now?
I don't know.
I just, okay, this is super weird.
Yeah.
I've been watching Growing Up Hip Hop, which is a reality television show about Little
Romeo, Angela Simmons.
Yeah.
A few other kids of hip hop.
He was in, Rufio was in Jarhead 3 with Little Romeo.
Whoa.
Jarhead 3.
Oh, boy.
Holy fucking, oh, boy.
Yeah, with Little Romeo.
They filmed it in Romania.
Jarhead 2.
Little Romania.
And now Ian can't pick Jarhead like he was going to.
His name's like Dante Vasco or something like that.
Whoa.
Was he on Rollerblades in that, too?
I grew up with the twins in that movie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Brian and...
Fuck.
Brian and something.
What are they doing now?
They were firefighters.
Okay.
Twin firefighters?
Yeah.
That's sexy, bro.
That's got porno written all over it.
Yeah.
You sneak up on the fire, right?
One dude's like, I'm over here. And the other guy sneaks around behind him. With the water. The fire's actually redheaded. firefighters yeah that's got porno written all over it yeah you sneak up on the fire right one
dude's like i'm over here and that guy sneaks around behind them with the water the fire is
actually girls clearly love about this porno and then they're just gonna boom what girls were
obsessed with them with those yeah i bet yeah nice guys uh it's time for me to make the final pick
let's hear the one word movie draft yeah what do you there's a fucking lot out there so i've got i've got a uh i've got like friday which is kind of it's a comedy you know yeah um goodfellas good
gangster movie heat kind of a good action movie fargo another kind of another kind of uh could
be a little hollering around the corner it's right around the corner check your calendars right i never told a lie um
i never told a lie i'm gonna i'm gonna fuck okay i was gonna take
okay no i'm gonna take i have to take a nostalgic movie for me a little bit. Oh, I was fighting myself. Yeah. All right.
Ooh, am I?
Am I?
Yeah, I'm going to take big.
I'm taking big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I didn't even think about that.
I thought it was going to be Showgirls.
It was on my list.
I didn't even think about it.
Showgirls?
Yeah, nostalgic movie.
Also a great movie.
Big.
Tom Hanks at his, not his best, but his biggest. But very affable and fun.
It's just like a fun throwback to being a kid movie.
With the guy who just died.
That guy who just died.
Home Alone dad.
Oh, yeah.
He plays the bad guy.
Mr. McAllister?
Right?
Yeah, he just died.
He's in Sharknado also.
Yeah, he's very big.
Elizabeth Shue?
No.
Who's the...
Perkins.
Elizabeth Perkins.
Elizabeth Perkins. That's her name, right? Robert Lozier. Robert perkins elizabeth perkins that's her name right robert
lozier robert lozier's in it yeah it's great in it lozier's great that was also they created the
kindle in that movie yeah they did they invented the kindle yeah yeah was that a big introduction
to tom hanks it was no he was already he was a star he had already been what was what was before
big uh that was like that did it Splash was really his first big thing.
People loved Splash.
I can't believe we didn't get to Splash.
Splash, dude.
Splash would have been in my top 20.
Penny Marshall directed it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just got a good cast, dude.
It's just fun.
It's just when you're a kid, Big is like, that looks fucking dope.
It's weird looking back that they, don't they have sex?
She definitely had sex with a boy.
It was definitely pretty cool with her. If you guys i you're all invited to do my podcast uh at any
point yes but it's in my house and my house is very eerily close to the kid and big really like
i have two arcade games like i'm like a man boy about my place i mean i won't be if i you know
like that's just sort of where i'm at right now that's fantastic good place to be yeah i don't
plan on doing that forever i don't have a trampoline.
Do it forever.
So just in the interest of time,
I'll knock off the conversation on big.
All right.
We left some...
Well, first, let me go run through
what we did pick.
Sean Jordan, you went first.
You took Tombstone.
Hell yeah.
Casino.
Hell yeah.
Aladdin.
Yeah.
Aladdin.
Titanic.
Gladiator.
Jensen, you went second.
But I just want to say again,
I thought about taking a full menu. You did. That's what I wanted to do is have a a second? I just want to say again, I thought about taking a full menu.
You did.
That's what I wanted to do is have a theme.
And I just want to say,
you took Psycho, Seven, Beetlejuice, Jaws, and then Gremlins.
Damn.
That's a fucking party.
Strong party.
That's a Sunday party.
Strong party.
David Bore, you took Juice, armageddon pitch rocky and hook not a
bad stone that's a well-rounded list not a bad stone night yeah i can walk i can do that that's
a good table that's a good day dude yeah i went last and i took friday goodfellas heat fargo and
big uh-huh until big what was your first one uh friday okay well i guess big and friday but the
rest of crime.
Yeah, a lot of crime in there.
A lot of crime in there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Friday's got crime in it.
Friday does have crime in it.
And Big, again, statutory rape.
Again, statutory rape.
We left some huge movies.
There were two movies I almost took that I struggled.
I had three I really wanted to do.
Super Bad was one of them.
I have it on mine, yeah.
Casablanca.
Wouldn't have picked it.
One of the greats.
Predator, Platoon.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I got some dumps,
I'd like to say.
I almost pick Sideways
almost every round.
Really?
Yeah, I love Sideways.
Such a great movie.
Jumadi.
Misery is in my
Halloween Around the Corner.
Yeah, Halloween Around the Corner.
Joyride is a movie
I love with Paul Walker.
Joyride.
Oh, yeah.
That is a good movie.
With him and Stephen Zahn.
Stephen Zahn.
Clueless.
Clueless is a good movie.
Then, on the same tip, Clue.
Clue!
Clue is a great movie.
Clue is such a great movie.
That's Laura's favorite movie she told me the other day.
She's right.
She's right.
She's not wrong.
Alien.
Adaptation.
Adaptation I love.
Adaptation is great.
Scream would have been good for my thing.
Sure, sure.
I thought that's what you were going to pick last.
Right, and then Oldboy I would have picked also
I wanted to pick Twins
Twins?
I also wanted to pick that movie Fresh
But I felt like it was too much of a deep cut
Glory and Robocop
Those are great movies
What's Fresh?
Fresh is that movie with Samuel L. Jackson
And he's got that son who's like a drug dealer
Never saw this.
I don't know.
You never?
Oh, my God.
Fresh is like this little boy makes this elaborate plan to like.
I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's so great.
Is it Fresh?
It's so Fresh.
All right, man.
Like 1993, the kid's wearing Adidas Sambas.
Oh, damn.
Taking on drug dealers.
That's where the first.
I used to watch that movie, and the kid would say, the little Puerto Rican kid said, I bust
the dope moves. And I thought that was like the great thing say, the little Puerto Rican kid said, I bust the dope moves.
And I thought that was the great thing to say.
That is dope.
Fresh is like, it's like a cult.
Not a lot of people have seen it,
but the people who have seen it, it's great.
It's such a good movie.
You gotta watch it.
And your shirt says belly on it.
Oh, belly.
My shirt says belly.
Yeah, I wanted to look barball.
But then I realized you can't take belly as like,
I mean, you can, but like.
It's visually great.
It's also a bad movie. Yeah, it's personal. Almost, you can, but it's visually great. It's also bad.
Yeah.
It's personal.
Yeah.
Almost,
almost took airplane.
I had it on mine.
Yeah.
Great movie.
Alive was on my list.
Oh yeah.
Weird one.
I was thinking about taking willow.
Willow.
Willow.
I just didn't,
I didn't,
the fantasy didn't fit with the rush more.
My father's didn't have that.
Realty would screw.
Rushmore is good.
Scrooge.
Great movie.
Yeah.
Well, that was fucking fun. That was a good one team. Scrooge. Oh, Rushmore's good. Scrooge is good. Great movie. Yeah. Well.
That was fucking fun.
That was a good one.
That was a good one.
We decided some convo.
We went super long.
Shout out to super producer Marissa for donating a Thursday night to us.
Putting up with this.
Putting up with this nonsense.
All these good folks.
Yeah.
Shout out to all the listeners.
Please, again, send us your lists on Twitter.
Also, a thing I always forget to encourage.
Recommend us to friends. Like and subscribe on iTunes and all that stuff. Please, please, please. Thumbs up on Twitter. Also, a thing I always forget to encourage, recommend us
to friends. Like and subscribe on iTunes
and all that stuff. Thumbs up on that.
Thumbs up on all that shit. Smash that like
case. Mac Miller, thumbs up, dude.
Go to
headgum.com.
Frequent our sponsors and use our
offer codes.
If there's any, you know,
we're loosely throwing around
maybe some t-shirts. Oh, yeah. we're loosely throwing around maybe some t-shirts.
Oh, yeah.
We're loosely throwing around some t-shirts.
And we're thinking about, and I don't want to tease too much.
We might take the show on the road.
I think that would be.
I would love to go to North Dakota with you guys.
We're talking about Bismarck, North Dakota.
We're talking about.
Oh, dude. Fargs. We're talking about Fargs,, North Dakota. We're talking about Fargs.
We're talking about Fargs, North Dakota. It's an all
North Dakota tour.
Everybody who would come out to
a show in a city, tweet at
us and say you would come out.
No goose eggs or whatever.
No zeros.
Also, if you just want to talk late,
I'm up. The DMs are open.
I'll probably get
into the bad end of a good end
of a bottle of whiskey tonight.
And perhaps more important
than anything,
tune in again next week
for another brand new episode
of All Fantasy Everything.
Shacklackity! that was a hate gun podcast