All Fantasy Everything - Pop Music Divas (w/ Megan Gailey, Sean Jordan and David Gborie)
Episode Date: February 23, 2017Today's episode is just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby. Comedians Megan Gailey, Sean Jordan and David Gborie join host Ian Karmel to draft pop music divas. See Privacy Policy at https://art19....com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another all-new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that looks at the world and says, Hey, we could draft some of this stuff.
That's pretty much what it is.
Fantasy draft style.
What a concise tagline.
Yeah, we're workshopping it. We do sort of a vag a concise tagline. Yeah. It's good. We're workshopping.
We do sort of a vaguely different tagline every episode.
All fantasy everything.
The podcast that's like, whoa, now wait a minute.
You know fantasy drafting for sports?
What if-
A tag paragraph.
Yeah.
What if-
It's a tag paragraph.
What if we drafted things that weren't sports?
Hey.
I'm just spitballing here. That's part of the tagline Hey. I'm just spitballing here.
That's part of the tagline.
Now I'm just spitballing here.
I mean, you got to spend money to make money.
That's part of the deal.
Yeah, that's part of the deal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
That's part of it.
Just work it in, man.
These are all, all these bumper stickers are available.
Sure.
At www.com.
My other car is a fantasy draft.
That's another one.
Oh, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My kid is a fantasy honor student. That's another one. Yeah, yeah. My kid is a fantasy honor student.
Yes, yes.
Visualize drafted picks.
Co-extract.
Oh, yeah, co-extract.
No, I'm sorry.
There it is.
I mean, that's the bumper sticker.
I don't think it was the part on par with what you guys are doing.
And then it's got all of the letters are different sports.
I feel like you're humoring me now.
I don't like the term sports ball, but they're all different sports balls.
Are you fucking with me? I hate the term. I don't like the term sports ball, but they're all different sports balls. Are you fucking with me?
I hate the term.
You don't like the term sports ball?
No, I don't,
but I'm saying like the coexist,
the different kinds of sports balls.
I see.
That's the only time I've ever said it
without hating it.
Like a restaurant job.
Try carefully, Doc.
Athletic balls?
Balls.
Just balls.
Just balls.
Okay.
All different kinds of balls.
Balls.
All different kinds of balls.
Balls. No one here is going to think you're talking about like a cotillion
that's a ball kind of thing
that is a ball
is that a way to cotillion
I'm having a ball
I'm just having a ball
is a cotillion a quinceanera for white people
no
it's for rich people
ask a question get an answer.
I'm just saying.
No, because a cotillion is like a bunch
of white kids and
a quinceanera is celebrating just like one.
Maybe a debutante.
Okay.
Is a promenade a dance?
Like a prom?
Is prom short for promenade? I think a promenade is a walk.
Yeah. Okay. Isn't that Santa Monica? I think a promenade is a walk. Yeah. Is that Santa Monica?
I thought it was when you strut your stuff.
I don't get out to Santa Monica that much.
It might be.
That voice you're hearing, if you're a loyal listener of the pod, you're familiar with two of those voices.
The third is Megan Gailey, stand-up comedian, comedy writer, all-around chum, heck of a lady.
I thought you were telling me to stand up.
No.
Megan Gailey, stand up.
Megan Gailey, stand up.
I was like, I want to get up.
They'll be able to hear.
Get your high fives.
Get your dap.
Promenade.
Those other voices, if this is somehow your first episode and you're somehow still listening.
Sean Jordan.
Hey. Sean S. Jordan. David Borey. Ha! the voices if you want if this is somehow your first episode and you're somehow still listening sean jordan hey sean s jordan hey david borre ha whoo i like that i'm working on a good podcast
hello yeah yeah yeah at this point the podcast is pretty much the three of us and anyone unfortunate
enough to join us yeah uh it's fun yeah it's fun it is fun people like it yeah megan megan you Megan, you picked the topic today, and I couldn't be more excited about it.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, it was an excellent choice.
Can I tell what my failed topics have been?
There were a couple failed ones.
I said appetizers, which I stand by as good.
Mozzarella sticks, potato skins, wings, tacos.
It's a stellar topic.
I think that after the stapler platter, we're just not.
Here's what happened on an earlier episode platter we're just not I've heard
We did garbage foods
which is kind of appetizing
Funyuns were not picked
but that's sort of in the exact right line
Shane Torres, stand-up comedian
picked sampler platter
as a food
I've been losing sleep over it I'm going to have a bite of sampler platter You can't food. Okay. As a food. I've been losing sleep over it.
I'm going to have a bite of sampler platter real quick.
You can't trust a man with long hair like that.
That's a hundred percent true.
No.
You know how nice it is to hear somebody other than the three of us say that out loud?
I'm thrilled.
I have this fun game I do where I ask people, if I'm on a long road trip or I'm with someone
who I'm just struggling for conversation, I'll be like, if you could build your own sampler platter,
what would it be?
That is a great question, Megan.
Now that is a-
And they have to work well together.
You can't be doing shrimp cocktail and then Hooters wing.
It needs to be a cohesive top chef pairing.
But let's let that soak in for a second
and maybe think about that.
Because that could be different.
I think you could have Hooters wings and shrimp cocktail.
Or what if it was like a gummy, like gummy bears, gummy worms, like that kind of a sampler.
I've only ever done it with appetizers.
Something that could be on a menu at a restaurant.
I'm a little worried that people are going to have heard that idea and now want to hear that draft because it's such a good idea.
It's okay.
We'll do it.
We'll have to have you back.
Meg, will you come back
on the podcast?
Yes, because I've made myself
an expert on appetizers.
Yeah, that's a fucking fun...
That does sound like a fun one.
Are those cherry blossom Nikes?
Yeah.
Those are so cool.
Google cherry blossom Nikes.
Those are dope.
I got them as a gift
from my boyfriend
and I opened them and I was like, and then I
just was afraid.
You were like unsure about them?
Was that that noise?
I was afraid I couldn't pull it off.
You're pulling them off.
Oh, you're doing it.
Those are great.
And I went to dinner that night, and the waiter immediately was like, are those the Cherry
Blossom Air Maxes?
And I was like, what the hell?
Is he still your current boyfriend?
He's still my current boyfriend.
See?
Just because of the popularity of the shoe.
He's making right moves.
You've got to keep it.
I mean, that's a year.
That's a year extension at least.
Shout out to your boyfriend.
That's how you do it.
Very cool, funny guy.
Nice job.
Yes.
Fucking cool shoes, too.
He fucked two things up after that.
So the shoes were kind of like pulling us through.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
You need to have those lifelines, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Remember those shoes?
I'm sorry I lied about knowing how to change a tire,
but those shoes are going to be fun to walk in,
right? Isn't that going to be fun?
No, I'm just like, if I were to...
Changing a tire is a clutch move. I remember...
I've had to do it twice, and I
almost didn't get it done both times.
The last time I had sex with my ex-girlfriend
was shortly after
a blown tire.
Sure.
And nothing else was blown.
For months.
Did you come through like a month?
Good for her.
Good for her.
It was good for her.
She's all right.
It's 2017.
It is, for God's sake.
It was 2016 at the time, though.
It's 2016.
That changes things.
For months.
For months.
Was this pre-election?
Yeah. Oh, pre-election I was still
sucking dick. Yeah, under Obama
you would be absolutely. I was, yeah, I was
doing it sometimes. Just like, yeah, we're all
happy, everyone's in a good world. I was so reckless
when Obama had my back. Reckless
is the wrong word. Fun. No, it was reckless.
I was out here making
stupid moves. My big brother's got me.
I'm untouchable. I was too. We should get to the draft at some point. But yes, I was out here making stupid moves my big brother's got me I'm untouchable
I was too, we should get to the draft at some point
but yes, I was there too
I was wearing hoodies with no t-shirt underneath
well you know you can't be doing that
Obama's president, anything can happen
what are you in Color Me Bad, you're wearing t-shirts
we're gonna find out that shit's like illegal
we're drafting female pop divas today
female pop divas
and it's an excellent topic.
Thank you.
And one that I think we're all qualified to be drafting on.
I realized how qualified I was as I was making my list.
When you first suggested it, I was a little worried.
But they come to you.
They do.
Because they oftentimes are grouped together.
Yeah.
And there's also, I don't want to give away, but some pop divas have had like a busy last week.
It's been like a big pop diva time.
Sure.
They really have.
Really?
It's been active
for a bunch of them.
Oh, I didn't know.
Oh, you've got to pay attention
to the zeitgeist.
Yeah.
You just got to watch
Loose Chain.
Do you not read Breitbart?
No.
You've got to get on Breitbart.
They did a whole ranking
of female top divas.
That would be amazing
if Breitbart did that.
I just got top of gotcha.
Guys, Milo, we lost Milo. We've be amazing and bright-pointed. I just got Tom and got you. Guys, Milo.
We lost Milo.
We got to get back into the mainstream.
They just go full BuzzFeed?
That would be amazing.
Which race's Disney character are you?
Which race is the sneakiest?
This is what Disney princesses would look like catching tear gas grenades from riot cops.
I'm a Latin.
We should determine the draft order.
The way we do that is through a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Play between the three of you.
Rock, paper, scissors, and then shoot.
So the way it works, if you all throw the same one, then we just do it again.
But if two of you match and the other person doesn't, if there's two scissors and one paper, the paper wins.
Paper wins.
So that's how we do it.
Okay.
So odd person out wins.
And we go one, two, three, shoot.
And here it goes.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
And we have.
Oh.
All three different.
We have a rock, paper, and scissors.
We're doing it again?
Yep.
But don't you win?
No, because it would be a circle.
Because he could.
It would be an infinite circle.
Okay, okay, cool.
All right, here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And we have. Oh, two scissors. David Boyer, you win? No, because it would be a circle. It would be an infinite circle. Okay, cool. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
And we have, oh, two scissors.
David Boyer, you win.
Rock, paper, scissors again.
I, first of all, won so many.
You win so many of them.
I win so many.
Nobody cares, dude.
Well, if you're simple, and it's a simple person's game.
I take note.
Mama told me when I was young, simple man.
That's how I got this far.
Be a simple kind of man.
I used to think that and Freebird were the same song.
I just thought it was because everyone's like, Freebird's fucking long, dog.
And I was like, Simple Man's.
And you thought it was even longer.
I thought it was the last part of Freebird was Simple Man.
And it turns into Renegade at the end of it.
And then Free Fallin'.
Hollywood Nights.
It's a medley. I just didn't watch the Free Fallin', there's a whole... Hollywood Nights, it's a medley.
I just want to watch the Free Fallin'.
David, now you picked the draft order, and I should remind both Megan and our listeners,
this is a serpentine draft.
So like a snake.
So if you have, you know, you know what that means.
Yeah.
I'm going to go first.
You're going to go first.
Who's going second?
I'm going to go first.
I'm going to say Sean Jordan, Megan Gailey, Ian Carmel.
All right. Then we slither back around. Sure. I'm going to go first. I'm going to say Sean Jordan, Megan Gailey, Ian Carmel.
All right.
Then we slither back around.
Sure.
And then it snakes sort of serpentine-like.
Then David Borey with the first pick in the female pop diva.
All fans say everything.
Nobody saw it coming.
Number one on my list? Yep.
Tiffany.
What?
He said earlier at the crib.
What?
He goes, I'm going Hart first.
And then. Oh, And then You've gone rogue
Tiffany I love that song
Which one
Is it the one she wrote about
In Playboy
It's a cover but whatever
Yeah dude
Oh my god
I saw Tiffany perform At a Cleveland Cavaliers game You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, dude. Carousel skate for days. Oh, my God. Holding on to one another's hands.
I saw Tiffany perform at a Cleveland Cavaliers game.
How great was it?
Oh, it was bleak.
Did they play a game in the mall?
Oh, 2016.
Oh.
This was three months ago.
Is she from Cleveland?
This season.
This season.
Her acoustics are built for a mall.
That's not even fair.
I think they made the Cavaliers dancers dance behind her
and you could tell they were like, who is this bitch?
Everything was... Yeah, they don't know Tiffany.
All those dancers are like 20.
I forgot until now. Have you ever gotten
like two whiskey drunk on like a Thursday?
Absolutely. Guarantee it. Just by yourself?
Just really played that
song loud? No.
No.
You had me... I love the video great i love that she's in
the mall oh man great big red hair i have good memories i have good memories of that song for
sure and i remember when it came out i was little i was like eight probably i was a kid i remember
my mom you were a baby it's an insane pick david It's an insane pick, David. It's an insane. Really insane pick.
For the first pick overall, I'm crazy.
Finally, somebody else blows it on the first pick.
Yeah.
That's my Herschel Walker.
You know, well, we'll see.
You know her last name's Darwish?
I didn't even know.
I didn't even know.
That would have changed my whole.
I wish she didn't have a last name.
I do, too.
Yeah.
I would have.
Of course they would call her Tiffany.
Her last name is what?
Darwish. Darwish? She may be married to someone whose last name would call her Tiffany. Her last name is what? Darwish.
Darwish?
She may be married
to someone whose last name
is Darwish.
What's your name?
Tiffany Darwish?
Darwish.
All right,
first order of business,
Tiffany,
before you sign
that dotted line,
we're going to need you
to drop the Darwish.
If we're going to get you
into these malls,
we're going to need
that Darwish out of there.
You're going mostly
off the strength of
I think we're alone now.
Yeah,
he's doing a one hit wonder.
And now that I said it, I really do regret it.
It's out there.
Yeah, it's like a bean burrito.
You know what I mean?
You should have gone fourth because then you could have taken someone solid and then Tiffany.
Maybe you needed to hear our picks to know that that was a bad pick.
Yeah.
You know?
You know.
Listen, I've seen people pick Phillip Rivers first.
It's not.
And it's all. You don't know.
The stakes are low.
This is on the listeners.
I feel like the listeners
has a huge Canadian following.
I think the listeners
have a big redhead following.
We know they have
a big mall following.
We have a huge mall following.
We do have a big mall following.
She did a mall tour.
I think I'm going to be okay.
Okay.
I mean, I didn't know
she was Canadian.
She's Canadian. Now I know. No, I don't to be okay. Okay. I mean, I didn't know she was Canadian. She's Canadian.
Now I know. No, I don't know if she's Canadian. I just assumed she was like her. She's not. She's from
California. She's from
Norwalk, California.
Excuse me. I'm sorry. That was my fault.
I assume the Canadians enjoy her vibe.
You know what's tight is I could drive to Norwalk
and see probably the home of Tiffany.
Probably the mall she was born in.
The mall she was conceived, born, her first.
You could get her on this podcast.
It would probably be not that hard.
Whoa!
You know what I'm going to do right now?
I'm going to do right now.
Are you going to tweet at Tiffany?
I'm going to see if she's on Twitter.
I can't even handle this.
I can't even do this.
I can't even do this.
By the end of...
I have a video of her somewhere on my phone.
See?
She gets the conversation going.
Oh, yeah, here she is. She has 36,000
followers. That's not bad. That's pretty good.
That's more than any of us. Well, she made a hit
song. Hey, Tiffany. Hey, Tiff.
Me and my friends were just talking about you.
Huge fans? Yeah. How's that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tag me, but
I gotta change my avatar. Shit.
What's your avatar right now? I hate Tiffany?
No, it's just I was going to change.
I mean the bio because right now it says my squirrel got a squirrel friend.
I don't know if that's what I want Tiffany.
By the way, you didn't make my first choice any easier because you picked something that I would have never entered into the realm of divas that I was going to pick.
Tiffany?
I thought maybe.
Nobody saw that coming from you.
No.
The tweet is out in the world.
In the ether.
Tiffany's your first pick. We'll see. Only history can from you. No. The tweet is out in the world. In the ether. Tiffany's your first pick.
We'll see.
Only history can judge it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't know.
We don't know.
And with the second pick of the first round, Sean Jordan is going to say Mariah Carey.
There it is. And it's going to be because of there was like the 95, 96 summer where it was like fantasy dream lover and always be my baby
all three of them just made my right before i started i was like 13 yeah and that was just like
i love mariah carey it was oh i understand it's the bean burrito
don't fucking just don't get all sour in our don't know if you. In our last. In our last. We drafted the Taco Bell menu.
Oh, man.
And it was so fun.
Great.
Sean Jordan took the bean burrito with his first pick.
What?
With the first pick overall in the draft.
That's like your vegetarian dork friend.
I thought.
No.
No onions.
No onions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Tell me somebody took a Crunchwrap Supreme.
That was my first pick.
Thank you.
That was my first pick.
Like a goddamn professional. Like a pro.
Listen.
Let's focus on Tiffany over here.
I can pick Mariah Carey.
Mariah Carey's great.
That's what I'm saying.
That ain't a bean burrito situation.
No, that's solid.
She had hits with ODB Bone Thugs.
She's legit.
Her and that Wave Runner.
Who are you talking to?
Heartbreaker, you got the best of me.
Her and fucking Sean Carter.
And Emotions.
Sure.
Also, what's that one with her and Boyz II Men backstage?
Oh.
One Sweet Day.
One Sweet Day.
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven.
I believe that was Mariah, Nate, Wanya, Sean, and Mike were all on that song together.
Wanya.
His name was Wanya.
Name still is Wanya, by the way.
He was the heart and soul, the backbone of that group.
I have her in her own category in my list.
Sure.
She's like...
A, number one?
She's just...
There's three that I don't even know if I can...
Like, if they were even allowed.
Really?
Yeah, it's like.
Is she one of them?
Oh, absolutely.
Explain your reasoning.
I think that's so interesting.
Because she's almost like above pop divas.
I see what you mean.
I kind of see what you mean.
I can't even tell you the other two, but the other two also sort of like defy what I consider to
be a pop diva.
They are the top of the ladder.
They made it a term.
We're going to allow Mariah Carey
and those other two on your list fully in play.
I know what you mean.
It's like calling Michael Jordan a shooting guard.
I guess I forgot he was a shooting guard.
Thank you.
I kind of forgot he was a shooting guard.
I guess he forgot he was a shooting guard. I guess he forgot that he had a position.
Yeah.
Is he the greatest
shooting guard of all time?
I'm the lobbyist.
I play the one through five spot.
What do you play?
I play everything else.
She's so fucking awesome
that she could even
like stunt on those high notes
that like are really
unlistenable
but make them sound cool.
Really upset
like my mom in the car
at the time.
Those kind of things.
Really?
The emotion.
I'm not even singing.
I'm like, that's hella singing. How do you
even...
In front of other humans do that? You guys think Mariah Carey was in here
for a second? I did. What about
the Eminem debacle?
Oh, I mean, she's had countless debacles.
Has she ever seen her today?
There's some debacles. I saw the ad.
Have you seen her new show?
Oh, Mariah Carey? I haven't seen it.
Oh, yo.
Is it on?
I'm sorry for screaming.
Is it on Hulu?
She's got a TV show.
It's on Planes.
Is it on Go Night?
It's on Delta.
It's on the Delta network.
It is a reality show.
I forget what network it's on, but it is insane.
It's very contrived.
She's not a nice person, too, right?
She's been famous.
I like her, though. They do. She does seem a nice person too, right? My staff likes her, though.
They do.
She was the only Cribs that had wardrobe changes
in it, which I was super into.
Her getting in the bathtub for Cribs
was so dope.
Nick Cannon is a pretty big
issue.
That's a huge issue.
David just saw the Nick Cannon.
We didn't talk about it on the podcast, did we?
The Nick Cannon stand-up special.
The most recent one.
My friend worked on his first one.
Also bad.
It was in Vegas. It was called Mr.
Showbiz.
They had to prevent people from walking out.
Really?
That makes sense, though.
If I went and told everybody I was going to do
an amazing solo guitar show, just because
I'd seen a guitar before.
And you just blow it.
And then I just went up there.
He was up there wearing a glove.
He wore a glove!
One fucking...
You come out here in one...
I gotta fucking work in this town.
You can't...
Yeah.
You're wearing one glove.
I gotta do shit.
And now you're in fucking leather jackets and say freedom on the back.
He's wearing a turban.
What the fuck?
He's wearing a turban.
Did you see him in the NBA All-Star game?
Nobody cares about me because this dude's wearing yellow turbans and blue tachikis.
He was wearing a Hype Williams video at the All-Star game.
That hat looks like.
But he's trying to do the right thing too.
Fuck that guy, man.
Yo, he looks awful.
I don't know.
He's falling off in a way that I'm worried about.
Look at his eyes.
They're always frantic.
They are always frantic.
He's always frantic.
He's a panicking figure.
If Drumline is on on a Sunday afternoon, I'm watching it.
Drumline's fantastic.
It doesn't...
I don't skip past Drumline.
I'm shocked he would even go to the NBA All-Star Game.
Right.
Because it's like, they don't like you.
You think Russell Westbrook wants to shake your hand?
Yeah.
Nobody likes... No. There was one... There's a meme of him walking past jay-z and jay-z is just like sitting
there like looking at him smiling and nick's like got his chin up and it was just like oh man when
you got the confidence to walk past the cool kids table yeah because you knew your shooters were
cool too you're like they might trip me they might trip me but i don't care nobody wears
patons anymore dog nick cannon wasn't he the young like wasn't that who chapelle in that sketch was were cool too. You're like, they might trip me, they might trip me, but I don't care. Nobody wears Peyton's anymore, dog. Nick Cannon,
wasn't he the young,
like wasn't that
who Chappelle
in that sketch
was like the young
he referred to?
Yeah, Nick Cannon
is hilarious.
Yeah, Nick Cannon
is hilarious.
He's like,
I hate you Nick Cannon.
Yeah.
That's my
100 out of 100
Chappelle impression.
I'll give it to you.
Mariah Carey's fantastic,
but yeah,
the Nick Cannon
is a little problematic.
This new reality show is pretty crazy.
She gets pushed around in a...
Actually, it's pretty dope.
She gets pushed around in a chair with wheels on it.
Just like around...
That's how she moves.
In an office chair.
Have you seen that?
Yes.
That's how she gets to the stage.
That makes sense.
Wait.
To the stage?
Yeah.
I don't mean this in a weight way at all, but I think she is the human personification
of Miss Piggy.
Yes!
Oh!
Like, so...
Hurry up!
Yes.
Like, has no control
of anything,
but, like,
the people directly around her
is in tiaras
when it's not...
That is perfect.
Yeah.
That's perfect.
She is Miss Piggy.
She kind of looks like Miss Piggy a little bit.
I kind of get that vibe off her.
The newest Muppets show?
Like the new new one that came out like last
year. No, fuck me. No, okay, that's fine.
No, I know what you're talking about. I'm a sitcom.
They changed Miss Piggy? Yeah,
but she's like that. She's like a Liz Lemon.
They sexed her up a little bit.
They sexed her up?
They sexed up Miss Piggy a little bit. They did.
They did.
Because there are some weird times where you're like, I mean, I see you, Kermit.
Megan, that's one of the greatest points that's been made on this podcast.
She is fucking human Miss Piggy.
And like no shade on either Mariah Carey or Miss Piggy.
No, no, no.
No, no.
We love them both.
They are both pop divas.
They are pop divas.
If one of you, if you had picked Miss Piggy, I would have liked that better than Tiffany.
My mind didn't even go that way.
I wish that I would have thought like that.
What?
Everyone's favorite Mariah Carey song.
Oh, Fantasy, dude, with ODB.
It's mine, too.
Yeah.
Or, you know, I'll say just whatever.
Oh, man.
Either Emotions.
I just really.
You get emotions.
Like that.
And then what was the one
with Bone Thugs
and Harmony
Break Breakdown
oh yeah
instead of breaking
me on down
promise to die
I remember
playing the Aladdin
video game
on Super Nintendo
oh I love that game
mine is Hero
that song
gives me goosebumps
to this day damn 35 year old goosebumps I get when I watch that song that is such Hero. That song gives me goosebumps to this day.
Damn.
35-year-old goosebumps I get when I watch that song.
That is such a good song.
Always Be My Baby.
I'm going to amend it.
That's actually my favorite one.
Isn't it so good?
Yeah.
And Dream Lover, too.
Was she like duets with herself on it?
Yes.
God, that's dope.
And like that video, she had a rope swing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was hot.
She was.
Come on.
She was. She was fucking. She was. Come on. She was.
She was fucking.
She was.
I didn't even know what hot was.
I just knew.
I didn't either.
I didn't know why it was so sweet that she had little shorts, but it was sweet.
She married the head of Sony.
Tommy Mottola.
Yeah.
Power moves.
Honey was.
Honey was bad.
Yeah.
Or no, glitter, you mean.
Well, glitter was bad, but Heartbreaker was great.
Yeah.
I never saw Heartbreaker. Was Heartbreaker
with Jay-Z?
Oh, yeah, and that was in Making the Video.
Yes, they were at a movie theater.
What a fun show.
You are now going to see
the world premiere.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
They got rid of all these dope shows.
But the kids like it.
The kids still love it.
The kids haven't seen Crips. But the kids like it. The kids. The kids still love it. The kids still enjoy it.
They haven't seen Cribs.
They like the show.
They enjoy the show.
Because you can't see Cribs.
We tried the other day, so stoned, to find Cribs to the point where I was using.
Even on YouTube?
It's off YouTube.
Yeah.
I was using the Internet Explorer on my Xbox.
The Internet browser.
Never seen it.
Never seen it before. To go to MTV.com. The internet browser. Never seen it. Never seen it before.
To go to MTV.com.
Yeah.
Wow.
I've definitely gotten high and watched making the video.
Oh, man.
There's a classic one who will be my first pick.
Oh, well, let's get to that right now.
We've discussed Mariah Carey.
Megan Gailey.
To me, she's the quintessential
pop diva,
Britney Spears.
Of course.
Yeah, that was on there.
I love her.
Crazy,
you are now going to see
the world premiere
of Drive Me Crazy.
I love that song.
I still love it.
I'm so excited.
And it's got Adrian Grenier
and he was an entourage.
Yeah.
I honestly don't mind the movie.
I love,
those are my perfect movies.
Those high school dramas, I love them. I honestly don't mind the movie. I love, those are my perfect movies. Those like high school dramas, I love them.
I would like race home
so I could finish my homework
and watch TRL
premiere videos.
Yeah, TRL was. Oops, I did it
again. Everything was just
like, yeah, it,
she just changed. It all changed the
world. She changed like how
I dressed, everything.
Yeah, she murdered it.
What was the first one?
Oops, I did it again.
Oops, I did it again.
No, the first one.
Before Oops, I did it again?
Oh, no, maybe one more time.
Oh, baby, one more time.
Yeah, my bad.
That's what you meant.
It was so intense.
And she's in that schoolgirl outfit.
That schoolgirl outfit.
But also just that song is very like, I still believe.
When you were younger.
You know, it's intense.
Looking at her in a school.
When I was like 12 and she was 18, I was like, I shouldn't be looking at this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It felt way too adult.
She was a schoolgirl, but I knew it was for like grown-up pervs.
Yeah.
And you could tell.
You're like, this isn't...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is for like a dude in a divorce.
Like, this is not...
Somebody getting drunk at a TGI Fridays and this comes on and he's like i can go back
knowing what i know now i'm 12 school girls like trade me fun dips yeah there's not it's not sexual
she still does shit too i mean she does out every vegas i think she has like i would love to see
one of the highest grossing vegas shows lifetime just made a biopic about her that was terrible
with doesn't she go to mcdonald's? I mean, I don't know what she does.
But her body looks good again.
She definitely is on pills.
It's like a weekend at Bernie.
Prop that bitch up and get her arms moving.
Do the puppet master.
She's a full-blown diva still.
Has the choreography suffered?
Because she was quite a dancer.
I think she can still dance.
I just don't think she can do anything else.
She can raise her children.
She can't sing while dancing.
I saw Britney Spears at the
Sioux Falls, South Dakota fair.
Wow. When I was
17, probably. I bought a
ticket for my friend Nick and I, and we went and saw
Britney Spears at the fair. What vintage
was it? Huh? When in
Britney's career was it?
1999. Oh, wow. Oh in vintage was it? Huh? When in Britney's career was it? 1999.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that was the bubble.
Yeah, it was like, she was big.
I mean, we just didn't have an arena or anywhere big for her to play.
Pre-toxic.
Post-Baby One More Time.
It was like, yeah, it was about 99 because I used to, yeah.
That's crazy era, right?
It was so good.
She was huge then.
Yeah, she was massive.
And there was just nowhere in South Dakota for her to play, so she did the fair.
Britney Spears fucked around and had the Neptunes producing songs for her and stuff like that.
She was doing it, man.
Slave for You?
Yeah.
You listen to that beat, it still fucking knocks.
It's so good.
So it's stronger when she dances on that chair.
Stronger than yesterday.
She's got some good things for her Excluding the Tiffany pic
Which I can't
You went with your heart
You went with your heart and you shot from the hip
Mariah Carey and Britney Spears
I think what we value in Divas
They're kind of crazy
I didn't know you guys were going straight for the Pantheon
What have we ever built up to the pic
I don't know
It's alright
I love your Tiffany pic I've blown it so many times with my first pic. I don't know. It's alright. I love your Tiffany pic. I've blown it
so many times with my first pic.
No, I know Bean Burrito.
I'm sorry.
I only did that to make myself feel good.
It's okay. I can take it. I have a thick skin.
People have been calling me names my whole life.
I appreciate it and I still think you're cool.
She had so much heat that her little sister
had a career for a minute.
Jamie Lynn.
Her little sister's kid is sick, and it was on CNN.
Yeah.
I'm like, Jamie Lynn's child is on CNN, and we can't get Sean Spicer out right now.
Right.
Exactly.
What about Kevin Federline?
Federline, too.
The backup dancer that struck gold.
You know his other baby's mom is Char Jackson?
Niecy from Moesha?
Really?
I don't know why I know that.
I just blacked out when I said that.
I don't know.
But that's true.
I believe you.
Yeah, Britney Spears, man.
Perfect.
I hope she's happy.
Oh, I don't think she knows happiness.
I don't think she does, right?
She's just on pills. I think she's happy. Oh, I don't think she knows happiness. I don't think she does, right? She's just on pills.
I think she's happy she's on pills.
That fucking sucks because it's like it's everyone's fault for turning her into that.
Yes.
She wouldn't have just been that way.
She seemed like legitimately affected by fame.
I really am such a negative way.
We went to Target today.
Can you imagine going to Target and like not being able to get your toenail clippers?
If people were just mobbing you the whole time?
Remember when she shaved her head and beat someone with an umbrella?
She went crazy.
She went into a mental institute.
And it sucks. Here David was
buying his first pair of toenail clippers ever today.
He's never clipped his toes ever.
Now they're going to think I'm that fucking guy.
They're going to be like,
this guy doesn't pay taxes.
He loves Tiffany. He doesn't clip his toenails. I'm that fucking guy they're gonna be like this guy he doesn't pay taxes he loves Tiffany he doesn't clip his toenails who's this fucking guy
where did he say you didn't pay taxes in there
what
that's a good one
she I mean if you were like
so prized for your looks like that
I bet you would want to shave your head and just be like
fuck off too
cause she was Mickey Mouse Club, too, right?
And then she was with Justin Timberlake, and she was a virgin.
Slight technical difficulty.
In all fantasy, everything first.
What happened was Tiffany, the singer Tiffany, burst into the studio.
Obviously, she reads her tweets.
She personally chastised David for picking her first.
She came at me with a bedazzled rhinestone acid wash jacket.
She drove here from the Fox Hills Mall, threw a bean burrito at me.
It's a good time for a quick update.
Still no reply from Tiffany on Twitter.
We're waiting.
Come on, T-Bone.
She's probably asleep.
We're waiting.
So Britney Spears, yeah, she was famous.
Also, she was in the Mickey Mouse Club.
Yeah, and then she had that relationship with Timberlake.
Yeah, where she was supposed to be a virgin.
And everyone cared if she was a virgin very bad.
They did.
People had big opinions.
She had fake boobs.
Did she have fake boobs?
All of this when she was probably 17 or something, too.
And you're like, fucking chill out on the kid.
You know?
That's why.
And then she went nuts.
Who can blame her?
When I was 17, it was a big deal that I was a virgin.
I'm airing your personal business.
Probably the biggest deal in my life.
But, like, Brit Hume didn't have an opinion on it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
We weren't talking about that in ad room before high school in Sioux Falls.
And then the denim, the whole denim outfit.
That was dope, dude.
Oh, he had the hat.
Or did she have the hat?
Which one had the hat?
I think she had the hat.
I think she did.
She had that token beautiful curly blonde hair.
God, but he had a crispy, didn't he?
Yeah.
He wore a crispy somehow.
And like cubic zirconium earrings.
Yeah.
I was digging his boots, his baggy jeans, his thug appeal.
You guys remember the hit Black song, Bring It On To Me featuring Justin Timberlake.
I felt bad immediately post that because he came out of that relationship looking amazing.
Not free.
And that Cry Me A River song, everyone was like, Brittany cheated on you.
She cheated on you she cheated on him
is that what people say
what did you do
that's exactly
what was happening
I mean there was a girl
that looked like Britney
in the video
and then
for some reason
we didn't mind
that he went
and like filmed him
fucking a girl
like on her bed
and played it on the TV
he filmed himself
fucking a girl
like in the video
at the video dude
cause he's like
Cry Me a River
I'm gonna fuck on your bed
and everyone's like
this poor guy
the only problem I have
is that I think music videos are real.
It's gone back for years.
I love it.
That explains, yeah, like when you thought Shauna got chased through a hallway by an elephant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his pesky just stole him.
Britney did a very meta video for the song Lucky.
Oh, yeah.
Like a famous girl.
It was so hard to be.
It was so.
She's a lucky girl.
Early morning.
She's a star.
Yeah.
And she cried, cried, cried.
Yeah.
And Lucky was Brittany.
Yeah.
Lucky.
True story.
I just found that out
earlier this year.
I had gone my whole life
thinking,
who's this lucky girl?
How do I find out more about her?
What happened to her career?
What's her story?
She was getting up so early.
Sounds like Britney's putting her on.
She was, but she was crying.
Yeah.
In her lonely heart?
Or car.
I could never tell at the time.
But what's a lonely car?
I've cried in a car.
I have too.
I've mostly cried in a car.
God, I have.
I have.
If you walk past the car. That shit sucks. I've mostly cried in a car. God, I have. I have. If you walk past the car.
That shit sucks.
I have lost it in a whip before.
In Oregon, though, when it's like pouring rain and you're in a car crying, it's delicious.
Especially if you're like wet.
Yeah, you're wet.
This is so justified.
I fucking love that.
It's good to lean into that every now and then.
I haven't cried in a while.
Tonight might be the night.
Sometimes you've got to turn on the shower.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Cry in the shower. Yeah, that's the last place I cried was in the. Tonight might be the night. Sometimes you've got to turn on the shower. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Cry in the shower.
Yeah, that's the last place I cried was in the shower.
Head against the wall.
That's in a lot of music videos, too.
Yeah, that's where I got it.
There's a diva I can think of right now who has a great crying.
When I first moved here, I walked down the street, a very busy street.
In Glendale?
In very broad daylight, bawling, because I was so stressed out.
Oh, I can't even cry in the daytime.
It's right by the Goodwill.
Oh, I cried in the daytime.
That's scary. bawling because I was so stressed out. Oh, I can't even cry in the daytime. It's right by the Goodwill. Is that when I showed you the belt I was going to hit you with when you came home and I said
have a good day?
I need to go to Busy Streets.
I'll see you at six.
I've cried at the Glendale Americana three times.
Why?
How could you be sad there?
It's such a happy place.
I was crying in my car and I got really disoriented and I pulled into valet.
Okay.
But I didn't meet, I wanted to like be in the parking garage.
And so then I was like.
By Din Tai Fung kind of?
I didn't want to valet.
And he's like, you can back up.
I'm like, no, I'll just valet.
Just crying in valet.
That guy thinking it was because you had to ballet.
No, he was just like, it's pilot season, girl.
I get it.
Here, wipe your eyes on your headshot.
The old dream factory.
I've never cried at the Americana, but now it's a goal.
Oh, God, no.
I never will.
It's one of my favorite places in the world.
Oh, I love it there.
Oh, I absolutely adore it.
Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable crying there. I never will. It's one of my favorite places in the world. Oh, I love it there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I absolutely adore it. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable crying there.
I get that.
I could, yeah.
And it's like, these Armenian kids don't care.
No.
What's that white lady doing?
I've gone there to stop myself from crying.
I've gone there when I was bummed to cheer up.
You're in a cheesecake factory?
No, I never, I don't get, because it's bummed because I'm broke.
So like, I'll go in there and walk around and be like, this is fun, you know?
I hope one day you look back at this period in your life and say, oh, man, at one point I didn't have Cheesecake Factory money.
And you sell it.
We're at the Cheesecake Factory ordering whole sides of the menu.
We get a round of cheesecake for the table.
Yeah.
Let me get a caramel pecan for the table.
I would love to talk more about the Cheesecake Factory, but we do have to get on to my first pick.
It's always happening.
The first rounds are always very long, and then
by the fifth round, we're just yelling out, like,
Blue Cantrell!
Which I hope doesn't happen.
As it is a serpentine
draft, I have back-to-back picks.
It is, like a snake sort of thing. And I can't wait for these two.
My first one,
I think I'm going to go.
You have to.
And she has to be a first rounder.
I knew it.
It has to be Beyonce Knowles.
Oh, okay.
Oh, you didn't think I was going Beyonce.
That's not who I was thinking.
I thought it was somebody different.
She's a special one.
She's a very special.
Was she one of the ones in your, I don't know if she's a pop diva list?
She defies even that list.
Yeah.
She's even above that one.
She's the highest. She's the highest.
It's hard to imagine. I'm sorry as a kid.
I watched her. I got to write for the Grammys this year.
You know, I was fortunate enough to be in that
position. And she performed
and we got to watch her at dress rehearsal
and everyone,
everyone in the whole room,
all these jaded industry people,
80, you know, or not 80,
but like, you know, 65 year old dudes who
had hands that were built only for screwing things together and tearing things apart.
Like those kind of just gnarled granite men were just like fixated just watching her.
She's such an amazing performer with such an amazing voice.
What is a heavy performance this year too.
Crazy performance.
I'd be a judge for like, Jesus, the, just the sheer volume of what she was doing.
She has a song. I mean, Lemonade Alone.
She's pregnant with twins. I don't know if I
believe it. You don't think that this one's real?
Do you feel like she was pregnant the first time?
Absolutely not. She was not.
I'm with you on that. I'm a Beyonce pregnancy
truther. I'm 100% with you on that. I don't
think she was. I think that baby
is hers, but I don't think she carried it.
That's hers.
That's Jay-Z's.
Yeah.
That did not come.
Do you think it's a Solange situation or who?
No, no, no.
You hire like a woman to do that.
Oh, you don't have a good cousin?
Who's dead now, by the way.
Definitely dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So they just hired like an incubator for their child.
That's why Betsy DeVos got to be Secretary of Education.
She carried Blue Ivy. Betsy DeVos got to be Secretary of Education. She carried blue eyed beans.
Betsy DeVos carried blue eyed beans.
You got to give me something, but I'll carry it.
That's so funny.
I'll carry that little package for you.
I 100% think she wasn't pregnant that first time.
The crease video is way too compelling.
I've seen the sitting down video.
Are you talking about the one where she's sitting down?
Yeah.
Sitting down or standing up and it's like the ripple is
in the middle of where the
baby is. I understand she has twins this time.
Right? And I definitely think she's pregnant
this time. Maybe she's doing this one like,
I'm gonna show them. Yeah. I'm gonna show them
I really think that's what it is. But then I think
she's gonna be like, oh, having a baby is
hard. Yeah. It's really hard.
She was back to normal so fast.
Yeah, and someone asked her, they were like, how'd you do this?
And she's like, oh, I've been jogging.
And she supposedly had a C-section with Ivy.
You can't jog for, like, months.
So she kind of, like, there's whole articles about, like, how Beyonce outed herself about
not.
I love her.
Listen, I went to Lemonade.
I bought Molly.
I wore a jumpsuit.
I did.
Listen.
This does not make any of the songs less good.
How was Beyonce on Molly?
Oh, I cried so much.
Yeah, I bet.
I think that's a cry.
That's a good cry.
Yeah, I cried at Dodger Stadium during Lemonade.
I mean, I cried happy tears, sad tears.
Doing Molly and seeing concerts is up there.
It's the best.
It's so good.
Yeah. I did Molly for Kanye
I've talked about it on this podcast before
So I won't go too far into it
But what a night
Can I just put an addendum
I did Molly and drank Hennessy on Saturday
And that is not a good idea
You didn't tell me that you did Molly also
Yeah me and blank guy
Whose party it was split one
Oh yeah
And I've been drinking red wine.
Man, Molly's not a just hang around someone's house drug.
No.
It doesn't seem like it.
It's an event.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Molly, I took Molly when I DJed the Bridgetown after party.
I took Molly when I danced to that DJ song.
Yeah.
And it was fun.
It was awesome.
I lost my mind for about an hour and a half.
How do you get that Bridgetown after party DJed spot? They just keep giving it to me. Portland's favorite son has to give it to me. You was awesome. I lost my mind for about an hour and a half. How do you get that Bridgetown After Party DJ spot?
They just keep giving it to me.
Portland's favorite son has to give it to me.
You gotta be.
They give it.
Let me get 20 minutes if you're in there this year.
I'll give you three songs.
I'll give you three songs.
I'll turn it out.
And just so I can stand up there and think I'm crip walking.
One won't be Tiffany.
Okay.
Two of them will be, though.
David B. Dave.
I think we're alone now.
You're gonna do that? And then a different Tommy James and the Shondells song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. two of them will be there. I think we're alone now.
You're going to do that and then a different Tommy James and the Shondells
song.
We're going to dig in their
vault a little bit.
There's a Beyonce song for all seasons.
Anything, any mood you're in.
And all of Destiny's Child too.
I mean, you can't.
What was their first?
No, No, No, right?
No, No, No, No, No, right? Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
And we say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That song.
I love Survivor.
That's so good.
I wanna live.
I wanna live.
That was when she came out and you were like, Beyonce's the dopest.
Yeah.
Because I feel like she didn't have a lot of personality before then.
But when Survivor came, when they went down to three.
Yes.
When they cut off the dirt.
I know what they were doing.
It was just Michelle, Kelly, Beyonce.
Because I always thought Michelle was the most beautiful.
Michelle, I see her and my jaw drops.
Michelle is beautiful.
Still, and so is Kelly Rowland, by the way.
Kelly Rowland's amazing.
Kelly Rowland.
And very talented.
Kelly Rowland.
This is a terrible. Kelly Rowland looks like the way. Kelly Rowland's amazing. Kelly Rowland. And very talented. Kelly Rowland. This is a terrible.
Kelly Rowland looks like a young single mom to me.
And not even like a broke, but like she's got it together.
Yeah.
And that kind of.
You mean she looks like a man would leave her.
Yeah.
No, he didn't leave.
Or she kicked him out.
He didn't leave.
It was the short haircut to me.
It was the short haircut.
Oh, Dilemma?
Yeah.
That one was Nlly being a greasy bastard
though that's probably why she looked like a single mom yeah oh maybe she just nelly maybe
she just loved the thugs i could see that her being a single mom she's strong she's doing it
but her dad was a thug and she loves them i mean she probably wrote Soldier. Yeah. I love Soldier. Even Lil Wayne's verse.
That little gremlin.
Getting in there.
On Lemonade, there were so many different genres, too.
I know this is a point that's been made by better people than me, but she had a kick-ass country song and a rock song.
Formation was such... It's insane.
I love the person who did win the Grammy for Song of the Yearation was such It's insane. I love the person who
did win the Grammy for Song of the Year and everything.
She's great. But
Formation was the fucking dopest song of the year.
All last year period.
I came to slay, bitch. Yes!
Because it was the video. Whoa.
That shit was scary. I didn't know
it was Big Freedia. Yeah, Big Freedia's on there.
I did not come to play with you, ho.
Yeah, I came to slay. Oh, it was so cool. You're doing it perfectly. I've watched so much of Big Freedia. Yeah, Big Freedia's on there. I have not come to play with you, ho. Yeah, I came to see... Oh, it's so cool.
You're doing it perfectly.
I watch so much
of Big Freedia's TV shows.
That video's so good.
Yatta, yatta, yatta, yatta.
So good.
I got to see Big Freedia
in New Orleans once.
It was so dope.
Oh, man.
At a Comedy Central...
Comedy Central bought a booth
at a club that Big Freedia
was playing at,
and they got bottle service,
but it was the shittiest.
I mean, thank you Comedy Central.
I think it was the only bottles they had
but it was the shittiest bottle service.
It was just pop off?
It was like pop off and orange juice.
I would do it.
Pop off and squirt in the VIP.
Yeah, New Orleans is like,
this is what we drink.
Exactly.
I was so happy.
There were so many people up on stage.
Big Freedia's great.
But that video, that twang,
that...
And that guy from Ray Shremard wrote.
Isn't that crazy?
I love Ray Shremard.
But we can get lost in the sauce here.
We can, definitely on Ray Shremard.
So Beyonce is my first pick.
My second pick...
So my first one was my head.
Nobody can criticize me for taking Beyonce. My second pick. So that, my first one was my head. Nobody can criticize me for taking Beyonce.
No.
My second one.
Not coming to your heart.
Celine Dion.
Sure.
Oh, shit.
Damn it.
Guys, damn it.
It's so solid.
It's bulletproof.
I love Celine Dion.
Who wouldn't?
What are you going to say?
What are you going to say about her?
That's my Uncle Joe's.
I love her.
That's my Uncle Joe's number one.
His celebrity, his all-time girl. That's's it she's a fucking lunatic what's your
favorite she's gotta be married a corpse of a man she did and that was a long time ago he's
been a corpse for a while he's dead yeah he's he fulfilled his destiny earlier this year i think
i saw her in concert and it was her voice in concert
was still flawless
the only issue with it was
she kept talking and it's like
bitch we are not here
to listen Indianapolis
her speaking
voices is not good
is she from Montreal?
she is so French Canadian
she has like 11 brothers and sisters.
Was she born on like a maple syrup factory?
Basically.
Plantation?
Do they have maple syrup plantations?
Yeah.
Am I being racist?
No.
They have to, right?
They gotta have big fields of trees with maple caps on them.
She's from Charlemagne, Quebec, Canada.
The youngest of 14 children.
Yep.
I said 11.
That's what Charlemagne the God is from.
Charlemagne.
Her parents were a butcher and a homemaker.
Yes.
So you were not far off.
If you have 15 kids and you make a living for all of them as a butcher.
You must be a fucking butcher.
You are butchering.
You are taking apart some animals.
You really are. You're killing strays. You're getting rid of anything to keep that meat coming out. You're getting rid of butcher. You are butchering. You are taking apart some animals. You really are. You're killing
strays. You're getting rid of anything to keep that meat
clean. You're getting rid of evidence.
It's all going up. You also have to live
in Chalimant. Chalimant.
Chalimant. My favorite Celine
Dion song. It's all coming back
to me now. Oh, it's so good.
It's so good. It's weirdly sexy.
It's coming back to me now.
It's weirdly sexy. It's like... There were always a whole lot of little flashes of light.
There were nights of endless pleasure.
It would always seem right.
There were nights of endless pleasure.
There were more than all your lousy love.
Baby, baby, if you touch me like this.
And you hold me like that.
It's an epic fucking song.
Also, what were the things she would never do?
Is that butt stuff?
No.
No, I feel like she's up for that. Opening her heart.
Yeah.
But it was that night.
I don't know.
There was a storm.
There was a storm.
You do a lot of stuff in the storm.
There was a storm.
There's been a Charlemagne storm. Is that not a sexy storm. I thought it was a sex song. Is that a... Is that a sexy song?
Oh, it's a soup?
I mean... It's written by the guy who writes all the meatloaf songs, so I don't know how sexy it is.
It's basically anything.
It sounds like a meatloaf song.
It sounds like anything I would...
You know what I'm talking about.
There's a Celine Dion meatloaf version of it.
Yeah, there is.
They sing it together.
We used to drive around.
I would not, but my best friend used to drive around. I would not,
but my best friend
used to drive drunk
in college.
You don't have to.
I'm not.
We all have done it.
There's a part
where something slams.
Yes.
She'd be driving
her Jeep Liberty,
open her door,
driving,
and then slam it.
Whoa!
Perfectly drunk driving
to that song.
I would always do that.
See, that's why America
is the greatest country
in the world.
I would do the beep, beep.
Who got the keys to the Jeep? Yeah. I would always honk my horn, that's why America's the greatest country in the world. I would do the beep, beep. Who got the keys to the Jeep?
Yeah.
I would always honk my horn.
Yeah.
Yeah, Celine Dion.
I mean, she's so good.
Yeah.
The Titanic song, My Heart Will Go On, is still good.
It's just the melody, just the little whisper of it, and you're like, oh, my heart flutters
a little bit.
Yeah.
She had her greatest export.
She's fantastic.
You've heard the six-code?
Those pipes. I feel like live, how was it? It her greatest export. She's fantastic. You've heard of Six God? Those pipes.
I feel like live, how was it?
It was just amazing.
Oh, incredible.
And she sang.
And she sang.
Yeah, good.
I mean, well, that's what I'm there for.
She'll even put some stank on it every now and then,
which is so weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because she's Celine Dion.
You're looking at her and you're like,
how is this happening?
That's that butcher stank.
Yeah, that is that butcher stank. Not a lot of people have it. It's like she got the singing power of all 14 kids. Yeah, yeah, Dion. You're looking at her and you're like, how is this happening? That's that butcher stank. Yeah, that is that butcher stank.
Not a lot of people have it.
It's like she got the singing power of all 14 kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're all mute.
What if that was the case?
Yeah, her brothers and sisters can't do it.
She sang it, but.
Yeah.
Well, for Celine.
Yeah, Jacques hasn't spoken since.
For record deal.
Oh, all right.
All right, everybody.
So I'm going to Beyonce, Celine Dion.
Sure.
That's great.
I might just stop drafting after that
Megan it's time for your second pick
based on your pick I changed
my second pick and
since this is my last person
that was in the category that I thought
wasn't allowed
Whitney Houston
yes
may she rest in peace
but that voice
that was the next on my way she's resting in peace.
That was the next on my list.
That was a tormented soul.
What's your favorite Whitney era?
Because I like it all.
I Will Always Love You.
Yeah, The Bodyguard.
The Bodyguard was so transformative to me as a young white girl in Indiana.
I think she's got six songs on The Bodyguard soundtrack.
One of them is a cover of Jesus Loves Me,
but all the rest are originals made for the movie.
Well, I guess I always loved you,
but there's like four originals,
and they're so fucking good.
That one where she's like in the clouds?
Yeah.
I Want to Run to You?
Yes.
There's like Queen of the Nile
or Queen of the Night or whatever it is.
I want to run.
I also loved the music video to Heartbreak Hotel.
I was just thinking about that
The red hair
Oh yeah
Heartbreak Hotel
I remember that was like kind of a later Whitney
Oh that's the hit
Her two early songs
I Wanna Dance With Somebody
What was the other one?
How Will I Know
If He Really Loves Me
Throw those on at a point
Bridgetown dude People go nuts you can never i want to dance with somebody always
kills the first time everybody goes nuts always the first time i dj'd the bridge down after party
i was doing i was making a mistake which i think a lot of these people will be jonah ray i'll put
him on blast right now makes this mistake every time he does it where you at hidden america yeah
where you at i Hidden America? Yeah.
I'll tell you where he's at.
He's hiding his records, his fucking obscure-ass records that he plays when people are just trying to dance.
And I did the same thing.
I was up there trying to play, like, what about this Le Tirek song or whatever the fuck.
No, Motown.
Yes, that's exactly.
And Guy Branum sweat-danced his way up to me.
God, isn't he a vision, though?
He's an angel.
That shit is crazy.
He descended upon me like an angel, though he's an angel that shit is crazy he descended upon me like an
angel and he's an amazing dancer and he was like you need to play something that's gonna get people
dancing i was like what do i play guy and he's like play i want to dance with somebody but i
wouldn't use them i put that on it always worked and it worked and after that i was like okay
keeping that mindset and you know as soon as it goes like everybody's like oh yeah molly just boom. Everybody's like, oh. Yeah.
Molly just kicks in.
You're like, oh, I do want to dance with somebody.
I want to dance with 500 people.
You love me.
But on the same token, when you hear, ee.
Yeah, same thing.
I mean, like, if I get wet.
I just.
Like, just from if.
You just gave me, like, tiny little goosebumps.
I just used that.
And I knew what you were going to do.
Oh, God.
And she's a good actress. How's that? Oh, do. Oh, God. And she's a good actress.
Oh, my God.
In that movie, she's a good actress, which is so nice.
Don't forget The Preacher's Wife.
Oh, yeah.
I will not forget The Preacher's Wife.
And Soul Food.
I was talking about Soul Food.
Have you seen Vivica's Black Magic?
It's about black male strippers.
No.
Go home and watch it.
Is this a documentary?
Oh, no.
It's on Lifetime.
Oh, I have seen ads for that.
It's like a TV show.
Because I was watching the Braxton show.
Yes.
Okay, I know what you're talking about.
But Soul Food is.
Soul Food's great.
Soul Food's great.
She grew up singing in the church.
That's cool.
Yeah.
But also she was like, she was real grimy.
She's from Newark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you ever heard Bobby Brown talk about her?
He's like, ghetto boy meets ghetto girl.
And you're like, oh, she was with it.
Yeah.
And then they were doing whatever.
They were a gross kind of love, which I'm into.
Yeah.
Gross kind of love.
I just want somebody to smoke crack with forever.
Well, until they die.
I feel like you could find that person.
I don't think it.
I want it to be like.
You want it to be like Whitney. Yeah. I want it to be like we fuck up our mansion. I don't think it... I want it to be like... You want it to be like Whitney.
Yeah.
I want it to be like we fuck up our mansion.
I don't want to smoke crack at a park with some...
If you go block west and get a mansion, you'll be in business, my friend.
One block.
Just one over there.
Oh, man.
Whitney Houston is great.
That's a great pick.
Thank you.
Even the death, which is so tragic.
She only adds to her legend.
Yeah.
The what if. The what was left on the table.
She's only 48.
There could have been some more with me.
Her voice was so strong, too.
That really fucked my next pick up.
Well, let's see what you got, Bean Burrito.
Sorry, I won't jump in on it, too.
No, it's fantastic.
The third pick, Dasani Water.
Don't jump in on it, too.
No, it's fantastic.
The third pick, Dasani Water.
Ooh, Dasani.
Just let it be known that I wanted this to be Whitney Houston.
It can't be, obviously.
Sure.
So now it's going to be Taylor Swift.
Okay.
That's who I'm taking.
Wow.
That's who I'm taking right now.
You love Taylor Swift.
I do love Taylor Swift.
I enjoy Taylor Swift. I don't see why anybody wouldn't.
I love her.
This was a rough year for her, but she is a hits maker.
I mean, she has the only album that I've bought every song off of separately.
And then I was like, well, now I got the whole fucking album.
I could have saved five bucks, but I just wasn't ready.
It was like my whole getting ready to be like, do I like Taylor?
Am I super into Taylor Swift?
Red or 1989?
1989.
Okay.
And then I just owned the whole album.
Yeah.
And it's fantastic.
It is.
I listen to it every time I fly.
Style is my, I don't know if you guys are weird like this, but every time I take off
and land, I have a song that I listen to and it's style.
And if I don't listen to it, I think that I'm going to die.
I don't have that, but I do have death songs
queued up
in case the plane
starts crashing
when I want to hear it.
Oh God, all right.
Maybe you don't want
to put that juju
out in the world.
It changes from time to time.
Wow.
It has been,
there was a Rilo Kylie song once.
Megan, wow.
Yeah.
I'm the only one
who does that?
All right, fine.
No, I mean,
I have a list of things
That I would do
While the plane was going down
I would punch somebody
Just one person
Just like, hey man, we were gonna die
Is anyone flying soon? Oh, I'm flying on Friday
We shouldn't talk about this
Yeah, that's what I'm saying
Anyway, I have death songs I remember The first time I heard style We shouldn't talk about this. Wednesday. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's not. Anyway. Anyway.
I have death songs.
When I remember the first time I heard Style, I was driving from Wisconsin to South Dakota,
one of those fun trips, one of those real scenic trips.
I'm kidding.
It's not.
So Style came on.
I was like, who the fuck is this?
And it came on the radio like five or six times, and I did not know it was Taylor Swift
the whole time.
Because it was like when it was brand new.
Yeah.
And I didn't own the whole album yet because I was a dickhead.
So yeah, that was my introduction into style.
I've done that where you're just like, you're like, and then when you find out, you're like,
all right, I did that with Party in the USA.
Oh, yes.
That was a big thing about Taylor Swift.
She always seems down to like bring her friends out on stage.
I like Sara Bareilles a lot.
And she brought Sara Bareilles out on a show.
And I think that like helps someone like her out
and like gives them all this a lot of she put ed sheeran on it a big way ed sheeran is if we were
drafting whatever a dude diva is he would be yeah this round in my pick because yeah they're
fantastic all right well go ahead megan i have a psychological analysis of t swift i was gonna go
down that road too i think that she is a I think as a child she was a dork.
Yeah.
She was like a theater kid or just like a not cool dork.
Well, she's gawky and that never helps.
Right.
Like she's tall and like got that look.
And now she wants to be like, look, I have friends.
Mm-hmm.
And it comes from an insecure place I do believe.
Yeah, probably.
But yeah, I want to see Gigi dancing.
So I'm like, thank you.
But there is something sad about her, too.
There's definitely something sad.
Well, because she keeps getting dogged out by all these dickheads.
I don't think she has.
She what?
Oh.
She keeps getting, like, all these.
Not dogged.
That's not a.
I'm saying, like, dumped.
I'm not laughing at the term dog down i'm
not a savage jesus christ i thought you said like i'm over here fucking eating out of the garbage
like i'm a billy goats gruff man ever since that tiffany pic david has been set off oh yeah he's
had to wait so long i feel like because you had to wait for so long
you haven't got to pick again yet, have you?
I've just been sitting.
He has Beyonce and Celine Dion.
On the board.
We're just over here chewing up clock and you're like,
I want to shoot. Yeah, man.
I've been in the gym.
My face is so red. I don't think Taylor Swift
has had any relationships,
especially as an adult, that she wasn't
trying to get something out of.
That does feel like that.
Not that no mark against her music, or even
her as a person. I don't have to hang out with her.
But I feel like it is a very
what can you do for me sort of thing.
Sure. And I've
wondered this a lot, like, is Taylor Swift nice?
Because she's been famous since she was a child.
Same thing with Bieber, and you're like,
how could you be polite?
You wouldn't know what politeness was because people have just been waiting on you.
But then you are, yeah.
I could slap Bieber.
I feel like I could get close enough to him.
Bieber's cool, though.
I think I could put a hand on him.
I don't think he'd take me.
You probably should.
You probably should.
No way he could take you.
Like a heart.
You don't think he could take you?
I don't.
No way.
I don't think he could take you.
I don't.
I really, I've done enough to know that I can.
The two seven foot, 400 pound doodsy rolls with could.
Yeah, that's the problem.
But I get one in the mouth.
I get one piece to the mouth.
Take me out.
Take me out.
Take me out seven feet, people.
You're ready for the repercussions?
Yeah.
I don't give a shit.
I don't think they'd be that mad at you.
I think they'd be like, we've been wanting someone to do that.
Yeah, they'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
As long as you didn't try to hit him twice.
Yeah, you hit him the once, they're like, all right.
I think you would have to be like, I don't think that I would even be allowed close enough,
so I'm coming in renegade anyways.
All right.
Like I'm Superman punching over the ravioli.
You know what was the conflicted?
Because you see, I don't know if Taylor Swift
is nice
she's really good
to her fans
which is cool
she really is good
to her fans
but that's a psychopathic thing
I felt it was kind of
self-indulgent
because she put it
on YouTube
she's so self-indulgent
which was a bummer
to me
the whole Kardashian
Kanye
Taylor Swift
triumvirate of things
that was a weird scene
it's such a weird
with Kim releasing
the receipts
it's such a
it's such a tangled ball because Kanye releasing the snaps. The receipts. It's such a tangled ball.
Because Kanye going up and interrupting her award speech sucked.
Made her.
But it made her.
But it did make her.
I think they...
I've always thought that was an orchestrated thing.
Really?
That they were like...
This is...
Because she was a country girl.
Yeah.
That put her on the map.
That was the perfect...
Yeah, that was how I...
No publicity is bad publicity.
And you believe the I made that bitch famous line.
You think it's kind of true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's interesting.
Dad, I laughed so hard when I saw it.
I never believed it until right now, but it's like.
It's hard to think of Kanye as being involved in a plan.
Like, when you watched it happen, it was so entertaining that I could see it being.
Because you're like, this is great.
It did help.
I loved him for it.
I was like.
I did, too.
That's hilarious. My only thing. He was right. That loved him for it. I was like, that's hilarious.
My only thing, he was right.
It's a way better video.
My Girl Beyonce on my list.
On my list.
Really great video.
Single ladies.
Fun video.
They didn't have videos back when Tiffany was a pop star.
They didn't have video production. She had a video.
It was at the mall.
She was in a bunch of malls.
Twirling.
That was a horny stepdad that recorded her.
Well, it's time.
David's suffering has lasted long enough.
It's time.
I got to pick this one just to get my clout back so you'll trust me with my other picks.
I almost wish you'd wild out and just go fucking crazy here.
I can't go rogue.
I can't go.
I kind of want to go rogue.
You know what?
You know what?
Yeah.
Fuck everybody.
Yeah.
Adina Howard.
Oh, all day.
I'll get you back on that all day.
Freak like me.
1993.
I didn't even.
I wasn't even aware of what the idea of sex could possibly be.
But they were wearing rainstorms.
Or they were wearing knee pads and rainstorms.
You had to have been like six.
Yeah, I was a boy.
Because I was.
I was a little.
I remember being in house parties that my mom had.
Yeah.
Like in that song playing and like weird adults making me dance.
Not like sex traffic-y, just like drunk.
Like we drank a bunch of Cutty Sark.
Hey, dancing.
You would have been on YouTube.
Yeah, I would have been like Will Terrio.
Oh, that would have been dope.
Like that fat kid, like wearing a mint t-shirt.
Can I say some shit about Idina Howard right now?
What are you going to say about Idina?
Because I didn't know anything really about Idina Howard other than she was name-checked in that Kendrick song, which is awesome.
She has Freak Like Me, which is like that song.
And I knew Freak Like Me.
That song is so good.
Here's the paragraph on her Wikipedia, the opening one.
Please, please.
Idina Howard is an American singer and songwriter.
She roasted fame during the mid- mid 1990s with her debut album
Do You Wanna Ride
and her debut single
Freak Like Me
some of her other
minor hits include
What's Love Got To Do With It
with Warren G
fine
Freak And You Know It
Nasty Grind
Freaks
with Play And Skills
And Crazy Bone
and then T-Shirt And Pandas
with Jamie Foxx
Jamie Foxx so Jamie Foxx.
So just to sort the wheat
from the chaff,
here's a song called
Freak Like Me,
Freaks,
and you know it,
and Freaks.
Hell yeah.
That's a good pick, David.
Nasty Grind?
T-shirt and panties
and Nasty Grind.
Nasty Grind B-side.
Nasty Grind B-side.
I would love to watch
her and Tiffany
be on this team.
Wow.
It would be,
I think their chemistry would be
unparalleled i'll tell you what they're scrappy those two yeah they're a lot scrappier fiance
might be have you guys heard freak like me like that song i love it she says on the weekend
that's like yeah that like that whole it's so sexy and as a kid i didn't even know what it
meant i just knew i was like i like the way i feel here's what it meant. I just knew. I was like, I like the way I feel.
Here's what it meant for me.
It was guaranteed I'll be on the skating rink at Carousel Skate skating to that song.
That's what it meant for me.
Oh, man.
Did you skate to it?
Every time.
Every time it came on, I would just drop what I was doing
and rush out, and I'd be skating.
You're building like a VH1 surreal life cast.
I know.
I'm going to come back.
I was going to say Celebrity Apprentice
but like they're not even
they're not even
I'm coming back with my next pick
I just like
I feel like you backed me in the corner
on that one
really quick
just one more fun fact about Idina Halle
in 2011 she started
work on her culinary arts degree
a cookbook and a restaurant in Austin, Texas.
She graduated from Le Cordon Bleu.
Okay.
Really?
She can cook, too.
What's the restaurant called?
Freak.
Doesn't say, but there's no way it's not called Freak.
Freak Eggs and Ham.
Freak Eggs and Ham!
I would eat there.
I want it. I would eat there. I want it.
I want a partnership.
I'm going to go down to Freak's, get some chicken.
Dina Howard.
Oh, there's a documentary about her.
Yeah.
Dina Howard 20, a story of sexual liberation.
Get out of here.
With all those modest song titles, she's sexually liberated?
It turns out that happened at some point.
She, man.
Freaky.
She's so, also just that video, she's so gangster.
Like, to be, like, I feel like there were a lot of, there was not a lot of women in
90s R&B singing about sex that, like, really had a hold on it like she did.
Like, she was so tough about it.
She was, like, she owned her sexuality in a big way.
In the morning, I'll take you around the hood on the gangster lane.
She was like, we could fuck.
I'm going to drive you around the spot and then drop you off at the bus because you're moving kind of slow.
Yeah.
And she was probably saying that to like Tretch.
Yeah.
Someone hard.
Yeah.
Like a hard.
On the heels of your Dina Howard pick, I have to tell you that Tiffany has responded.
No!
Yes!
Oh, shit!
What?
First, a follow back.
And then second, a response, yo, yo, yo.
Or as my good friend, Downtown Julie Brown.
No, she didn't say that!
Would say, wubba, wubba, wubba.
And she tagged Downtown Julie Brown.
She did!
So Downtown Julie Brown's involved now.
It's all happening, Penny involved now It's all happening
It's all happening
Tiffany dude
What?
If you get Tiffany and Penny Lane
I think it's a good pick now
I can't even come in the studio
I gotta stand outside
Dude
That's fucking awesome
Man
I feel like your sales are full now
Yeah
Yeah
And it's time for you to make your third pick
And this one is with my head
We love her.
The Island Gal.
Wake Up DeWaste. Rihanna.
Riri. Nice. I love her.
It was her birthday. Yeah, it was just her birthday.
Happy birthday. I love all the
stuff she does with Puma.
She does do cool Puma stuff.
She does cool Puma shit. She smokes
hella weed. She gets kicked off of Instagram,
which is gangster as fuck. Yeah, she was just like naked all the time.
She's like naked all the time.
And she's like, yeah, suck my dick.
I don't.
And the music.
And the music.
Bangers.
Umbrella.
Oh, yeah.
Umbrella like changed a summer.
Oh, my God.
It really did.
That came on in a lift the other day.
And I'm just like, you know, this fucking thing does knock.
Like, this is a dope song.
Yeah.
Umbrella's great.
Fucking.
That J-verse on it was really good, too.
Yeah.
Breathe a Little Life in the Jay-Z's flagging career.
At the time, yeah.
We'd call it flagging.
Her and Fuck His Butt, but her and Chris Brown, the Umbrella remix.
Yeah.
Girl, it's getting late and you can stay the night.
Oh, come on, man.
Rihanna, yeah, it's...
So many hits.
Slammed up.
So many hits. Who's her first... She's slammed up. So many hits. So many hits.
Who's that? She's the coolest.
She smokes blunts all the time.
Yeah, what was her first hit?
Her first banger, it was-
Pondi Replay was the best.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Run some Pondi Replay.
Mr. DJ wants to turn the music up.
Hey, mister.
What was the one, too, where it was like a guy was cheating?
The video, how about a round of applause?
Oh, yeah. Oh, man. And her new song, that love song round of a ball? Oh, yeah.
And her new song, that love song.
I love it.
Oh, it's great.
Love on the Brain.
It's so good.
It's a great album.
She had the most dramatic songs.
Do you remember the first?
And it got played out.
But the first time you heard Love the Way You Lie.
Yes.
You were like, I think her and Eminem fist fought.
Oh, you mean Eminem's classic lyric? I guess that's why they call it windowpane come on my favorite lyric i'm not talking about
i'm talking about that's all right because uh oh in mont or what was that song dum dum dee dum
disturbia disturbia oh it was dark and she's got like some yeah she's had dark she's had
sugary bubblegum pop she's done's done it all. She's great.
We found love.
I love that.
Oh my God.
Found love.
That's a song to hear on After Party.
Oh, you know what we should do
if Rihanna comes,
we should all do Molly and go see it.
Oh shit.
Because I bet we found love
when you're on Molly,
it would be amazing.
Oh my God.
I'm already there.
Yeah.
I'm wearing some kind of green.
In Vegas, prefer. Yeah, you are. I'm wearing some kind of green, maybe like a bucket there. Yeah. I'm wearing some kind of green. In Vegas, prefer.
Yeah, you are.
I'm wearing some kind of green.
Maybe like a bucket hat.
Yeah.
Diamonds in the sky.
Diamonds in the sky.
Yeah.
Shine bright like diamonds.
It was forever.
Rude Boy, she just kept coming back.
Rude Boy was fucking.
She can't be stopped.
Rude Boy was pretty in your face.
And she seems like the coolest.
I would be so terrified.
Because she's beautiful. Oh, God. I would be so terrified because she's beautiful.
I couldn't have sex with her. No.
Sex? I can't be in the same
sex? There's no way.
It just couldn't happen.
I couldn't.
I've heard your songs.
I can't even smoke weed with her.
Remember when she turned down Drake? Yeah.
Drake wanted it so bad
and she was like, I don't give a who does get to
fuck rihanna so did they ever date her and drake did they ever i'm sure he like bought her hell
of shit she was just like i'm good yeah who gets to fuck rihanna i don't it's just gotta be person
whoever tyson beckford is right now yeah whoever that person is right now but younger and like
younger jimmy butler yeah like
a jimmy butler jimmy butler get to i don't know i just want them to i love that jimmy butler like
man he would kick the shit out of me oh yeah he's jimmy butler would kick you right in the stomach
and he's like that dark skin angry it's gotta be hard it's too weird looking yeah it can't be hard
i could see it being jimmy butler like a younger Dwayne Wade. I could see Shumpert.
I could see a guy like Shumpert.
Well, Shumpert's with, what's her face from the Kanye video.
Because it would have to be a basketball player.
I don't think she'd even fuck with a football player.
Because you can't.
They're not famous.
Yeah.
It would have to be a basketball player.
Well, George.
Oh, isn't she always giving eyes to LeBron?
She's real thirsty for LeBron.
Well, I think Lebron can do whatever he
wants i feel like that's because i feel like i feel like at that level it's just a power situation
you remember on instagram it is a king and a queen that is a power relationship but j and b
they would be like guy like guys like me they would be our because j and b are definitely like
we wouldn't ever hung out in high school no no no no, no. It would be way too cool. But like Rihanna and fucking, who are we talking about?
Bron Bron?
Yeah.
Rihanna and Bron.
Like, we smoked some dirt weed together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do have more in common.
Yeah.
Like, we smoked in like your mom's van in 10th grade.
She wrote 23 on her stomach with suntan lotion.
Do you remember this?
And like posted it on Instagram.
Where it was just like the bottom
of her face, her boobs,
her stomach, and the top of her bikini.
With like 23.
In suntan lotion.
It looks like jizz, folks.
But what if she's going for the god?
Which god?
The six.
No, 23.
Michael Jordan? What if she. Oh, Michael Jordan?
Michael Jeffrey Jordan?
What if she's going for Michael Jordan?
That would be crazy.
You know how fucking mad I'd be?
He does not deserve Rihanna.
They could share gigantic jeans, though.
Because she's into that old JNCO move.
Michael Jordan.
God, I'd be furious if I ever did.
You know, Michael Jordan, that would be it for me.
Rihanna, great pick, David.
Adina Howard and Rihanna back to back.
Very sexual. Very sexual.
Very liberated.
Sean Jordan, you went Taylor Swift with your last pick.
I did.
It's time to see where you go now.
We're going Janet Jackson.
Janet Jackson.
Oh, nice.
Very solid.
Janet Jackson.
Not my favorite diva.
Miss Jackson would be nasty.
Miss Janet, I'm nasty.
Yeah.
I mean, the whole track record, all of it has been fantastic.
Even Escapade?
Which one is Escapade no
but there was a song
let's get away
there was a song
sort of like Escapade
called Love Will Never Do Without You
and it had your boy
Tyson Beckford in it
in the video
yes
just a dope video
dope song
like
and then there was like
If
and
That's The Way Love Goes
when those came out
and I was probably
that's a great
14
Velveteen Rope Era yes and I just remember hearing That's The Way Love Goes when those came out. And I was probably 14. Velvet Rope era.
Yes.
And I just remember hearing That's the Way Love Goes.
Like, this is fucking dope.
Like a bunch of dudes that look like Lenny Kravitz in the video.
And I'm like, oh, chill.
Is that the one where she's like dancing in Africa?
What is that?
No, that one is.
I love that song.
You're thinking of the Michael Jackson video.
No.
No, I'm just joking.
She's like.
That's the Way Love Goes is when it's like her and a bunch of dudes who look like after
school counselors.
Where it goes like a mop to a flame burning by the fire.
My love is blind.
Can't you see my desire?
That's the way love goes.
That's good.
I gotta find that song.
And then she had If and obviously like Rhythm Nation.
I mean, all those dope songs.
Her and Michael had Scream together.
And I just feel...
Scream is great.
What was that song?
Heard from a friend today
oh again that that video is good sure she has she's got a belly chain poetic justice
that might be it and i'll never fall in love with you again and the whole video is together again
together again how's that go this is all I wanted to do today, guys.
Focusing on the diva part of it, though, which I feel like I have diva-ating from.
Yeah, yeah.
Just like the big show.
She would put a lot into her show.
She would.
Which is a diva move to me.
Yeah.
And I should say that I feel like Taylor Swift does that as well.
But Janet Jackson was really into choreographing and working out.
Taylor Swift has to be a diva because she has her banner hanging up in the Staples Center.
It's like Kareem.
What's that song called?
Is that called Together Again?
Yeah.
All I want is...
That's all I can think of.
It's not happening for me.
What was up with Rhythm Nation and just like the...
What was the weird Nazi imagery?
Because she was pop music?
She was heavily influenced by Michael and his weird shit.
He was too.
When he was doing all that shit.
That was history and stuff.
That was kind of weird though I feel like.
Yeah.
I feel like they –
It's this weird riot cop sexy.
It's this weird – you know.
But it is cool.
It is.
It does look cool.
It is cool.
You'll get no argument from me there.
But it's just – it's weird.
It's a weird thing that – I guess the Nazis just knew what they were doing with this stuff i guess we just have to we really have to
they were trendsetters they were trendsetters i'm not kidding in that nazi sled no thank you
that's very uh there was the fact that she was in a movie with q-tip for a brief moment just
poetic justice poetic justice pretty bad movie it doesn't hold up. But it's got like... Why are you talking about Poetic Justice and Q-Tip?
Janet Jackson.
She was Justice.
Yeah, but Tupac was in that.
You bring up Q-Tip.
No, I'm just saying...
Also Tupac.
Yeah, Tupac.
Yeah, I understand.
Trust me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
That movie did suck, though.
It did.
It doesn't hold up.
It wasn't very good.
A lot of my favorite people in it, though.
Yeah, great movie.
Yeah, Janet Jackson.
I've always just...
I've always enjoyed Janet Jackson.
What was that song with Busta?
Gonna make your body wet.
Gonna make your body wet.
The video was crazy.
They were all made out of metal.
They were all T-1000s.
I didn't believe Busta was going to have sex with Janet.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
Gonna make you scream.
Black Cat.
Oh, damn.
Black Cat was a song that I liked a a lot too and you guys remember that one
black cat something you're living on the edge not afraid to die you don't remember that song
oh i don't remember that at all it was like when i was in like sixth grade maybe if you talk sing
some more of it down at the dock stay awake and i know that you're living such a dangerous life
every time i think it's literally about a black? Who's living down by the docks?
Bon Jovi?
I don't know.
That's where Rhythm Nation practices.
Janet Jackson.
Yeah.
Reverse down by the dock.
We got a little space.
Because they have to actually get technically into international waters before they're able to operate as a sovereign nation.
Do the Nazi dance out on the international water.
I recognize that she's a beautiful
person, but the fact that she looks
so much like post-op Michael
Jackson weirds me out. Pretty buck, right?
It really weirds me out. Is she your baby yet?
I don't... Who's
the father? She's married to
a billionaire, like a Middle
Eastern tycoon. But she was
also real low-key married to Jermaine Dupri for a long time.
It was only low-key on her part.
He was telling everybody.
He has a Janet tattoo.
He told me Mariah carried it.
It's the same thing as these short dudes, man.
I can feel your light shining down on me.
The song is so good. I remember that song. All right, now sing Black Cat like I wanted to, but I can feel your light shining down on me. The song is so good.
I remember that song.
Now sing Black Cat like I wanted to, but I can't sing.
Yeah, she's married to a Qatari business magnate named Wissam Almana.
That is dope.
That's what I'm going to do.
Wow.
That is a move.
That's like a third husband.
Yes.
Just like Qatar?
Okay.
He just takes care of you.
Whatever.
He's cheating on you.
You're cheating on him.
It doesn't matter.
It's not called cheating.
It's called you gotta do what you gotta do.
We own a soccer team? Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah, exactly. You got a Bugatti?
I don't know what that is.
I mean, Volgari with a weird B in front of the V.
Like, I need that in my life.
We were talking about how cool it would be
if you got a Ducati.
Me? If you just pulled up on a lime green Ducati
with a lime green leather jacket.
I'm too fat for a motorcycle.
But I think he could be a cop.
I saw a fat guy.
Because I've entertained.
It's terrible.
I will be honest.
I've entertained these thoughts before.
But I saw a fat guy about my carriage on a motorcycle yesterday, and I was disgusted.
And I don't judge other fat people ever, but I saw this guy.
I was like, get the fuck off that motorcycle
don't act like
don't act like you don't know exactly
who you are right now
get the fuck off that motorcycle
if you can't pedal a bike you're not allowed on a motorcycle
my dude
it was just big fat ass
on the back of a motorcycle
it's not a good look
love handles oh boy Big fat ass on the back of a motorcycle. You know what I mean? It's not a good look.
Love handles.
Oh, boy.
So, yeah, Janet Jackson.
Yeah, Janet Jackson's a dope pick.
Great pick.
That was hilarious. Megan, it's time for your third pick.
I'm going to...
This defies what I would have done ever,
but the fact that you fools are going to let me have both of these women, I'm going to do it.
Well, that was hard.
Christina Aguilera. Oh, wow!
I didn't want to pick her too close to Britney.
I mean, that, she was, when it was
the era of pop divas, when
I was like a child, she was the one
that was like, we don't like her, but she
can sing. Yeah, exactly.
No one liked her the right amount.
She went through so many phases and some of them
weren't too public image-y. She's trash.
She's very trashy. And when boys
liked her over Britney, I was like,
you're trash. I remember
liking a boy in middle school and finding out he
was a Christina and not a Britney and I was like,
nah, that's not my dude. That kid tried to grow a mustache
too early.
Because it's like, you just like that
bedazzled thong that peeks
out over and come on
over. I can't
say that I wasn't that
kid in middle school. I mean,
that video, that and the What a Girl Wants
video, I'm fucked out of town. You also tried to join
the Crips, so it makes sense.
Man, a lot of
anything could happen.
It's different in Sioux Falls.
You guys have never been there.
You don't know what it's like.
She's from Staten Island.
I didn't know that until just now.
But I think she grew up in Pittsburgh.
But you kind of felt it.
Oh, yeah.
Mickey Mouse Club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, she did.
You're 100% right, Gayle.
Mickey Mouse Club, too.
Timberlake.
Wexford, Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
But she's just, she just has the voice.
That was the point that people.
Yeah, she has a great voice.
Everyone was like, Brittany, I like Brittany's songs better, but Christina Aguilera, she
was like the actually she can sing.
She can sing, yeah.
They used Xtina to talk trash about Brittany.
They're like, because she can at least actually sing.
And she does that Mulan song that's so beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
Which one?
Who is that girl I see? True. Oh, yeah. Which one? Who is that girl
I see? True, true, true.
You guys just keep
making me sing these songs.
You're the only one that can sing it.
You're going to be like, what the fuck?
That's 100% what I wanted to have happen.
What were
some slower Christina songs?
Oh, she had...
Slower songs? Yeah.
She definitely had some ballads. There was like Dirty she had slower songs yeah she definitely had some ballads on because there
was like dirty she had that beautiful song yeah oh um your way the love is gone there's a song
called love is gone you know that one i obviously i can't sing it but it's you know good she's also
had like a career like she's not singing but then she's like on the voice
yeah which is huge she's become a real professional yeah yeah a professional in
the music industry had some kids man she sold 70.9 million albums yeah and she didn't like
50 worldwide 50 million never tipped off the deep end like never really fell over
she never lost control.
She has five Grammy Awards and one Latin Grammy.
She did do a Spanish song.
She did, remember that?
She's got a Latin Grammy.
That'd be the first thing you saw
when you walked into my house if I were Christina Aguilera.
My fucking Latin Grammy.
Genie in a Bottle is just an incredible
first hit, too.
It is. that was a good
song god what a bunch of good music that came out back then i'm happy that i was like 16 when all
that was happening reminds me of fun stuff like before i drank or anything it's just like fun
sober go-kart yeah aguilera was a big my hand hand is going to be where I'm singing person, right? Yeah. Like, her hand would go up with her voice.
She was like, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Like, it was taking the elevator with her.
Do you remember Kelly Osbourne making fun of Christina Aguilera's Christmas album on the Osbourne?
No.
She was like, jingle bell.
And Ozzy fucking lost it.
He's like, I've never seen Ozzy, like, laugh harder.
She's like, that's right. He's like, I've never seen Ozzy laugh harder. That's right.
She's terrible.
They were sitting at Christmas dinner roasting Christina Aguilera.
Damn.
That's a bold move.
It made it to air, too?
Oh, yeah.
The Osbournes was great because it was before they knew.
It was.
You would see cameramen in the background.
They would fight with their neighbors.
They didn't have it.
That's how reality TV should be.
It was reality.
Yes.
And you know what else?
Nobody minded seeing the cameramen.
Who cares?
I don't care.
As long as it's what's buck is going on, I don't care.
Didn't Jack try to date or date Christina?
I think maybe.
Wasn't that a big through line of the show is that he was always gunning for her?
That would be a major win for fat dudes everywhere. He's weird. big like through line of the show is that he was always like gunning for her and like she came over one night or something
yeah
yeah see he's weird he got into MMA
and shit well now he has MS doesn't he
what
and he got it from Christina Aguilera
no he's weird he got it and then you said
M and I'm like you think he's
weird because he has MS yeah he's kind of a weird
what a weird
why do you get these neurological diseases because he has MS? Yeah, he's kind of a weird... What a weird... What a terrible person. Why do you get these neurological diseases?
Ugh, what a freak.
No, he has MS.
Oh, no.
For sure.
Well, that, I feel, yeah.
Well, we love you, Jack Osborne.
Get better.
That's definitely not what I'm sure...
Get better!
Be the first one to get better.
Oh, he's smoking weed.
Yeah.
I know that's not something you get better from, but I do want him to get better.
Yeah.
Man, what a dark twist this took.
Oh. Sorry. Turns out I hate Jack Osborne. But I do want them to get better. Man, what a dark twist this took.
Sorry.
Turns out I hate Jack Osborne.
Yeah, Christina is dope.
She is definitely.
I can't wait to charge my phone and get into this Tiffany situation.
You got to jump on.
I don't know.
You need to charge your phone.
I think it's just one four-minute song.
Yeah.
No, I need to charge my phone. That's not a lot.
I got to get up there
all right so christina aguilera good pick yeah hell yeah it's time for my third pick
i might have to go i might have to go with one of the gods
i might have so many gods on the table there's so many realizing aretha franklin
yeah i don't know any of her songs, but I've heard her referred to.
You know what I like?
I like newest era.
I like A Rose is Still a Rose.
By Aretha Franklin?
Yeah.
That was like 2001.
Aretha was Rescue Me, right?
Yeah.
And R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Dude, she's got pipes.
Aretha's got pipes.
Her name's Aretha, which is crazy.
Yeah.
Sounds like Aretha.
We're all thinking it.
She used to have a rag on stage because she gets sweaty.
I love that.
That's the show I want to see.
I love a big, fat lady.
I do.
Big fat lady will sing better.
I love a big, fat lady who will tear into it.
Just tears it open.
She is great.
Chain of fools.
Dude, it's so good.
You make me feel.
Oh, yeah.
You make me feel.
Written by a different diva.
It is.
Who wrote that?
No, we can't say it.
But Aretha tore into it.
Yeah, she ate it.
Ate that burrito sideways.
Yeah.
Ate my corn on the cob.
People passed around songs like crazy back then.
But yeah, Chain of Fools is such a cut.
No, she's hip.
Dude, I just also love her behavior.
She's always walking around wearing fur.
Yeah.
You know?
Yep.
You know Obama loves her.
Obama loves her.
Oh, yeah.
They just go to the Kennedy Center now and dance on the empty stage.
God, I hope they do.
That would be amazing.
Could you walk in the janitor?
Just walk into one of the rooms to clean it, and it's Obama and Aretha Franklin.
Wherever she is, that's like the place to be, too.
Come on, baby!
Nobody ever left a Grammy's after party like, oh, yeah, Aretha Franklin was in there, but
I took off.
She has 112 charted singles on the Billboard.
What did you say?
She has 112 singles that charted on the billboard.
17 top 10.
God, she's just a god.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's bananas.
Yeah.
I don't have a lot else to say about her.
No, that's a great pick.
Yeah.
That's a great pick.
Other than just I had to get her off the board.
It didn't feel right.
I mean, maybe the original diva.
I think she kind of was.
Yeah.
The way we think about divas right now, I'll go back to Aretha Franklin.
Yes.
Being just a monster and everyone letting her get away with it.
Pipes.
She's a big fat lady who can sing.
Pipes, pipes, pipes.
Yeah.
Pipes Franklin.
So I'm going that with my third pick.
Sure, sure, sure.
Shout out to Aretha.
Hey, Aretha.
And now.
We hear you.
I have to.
So I'm going head to heart, head to heart.
Now I have to reach beyond the
grave. Oh shit.
To pick Amy Winehouse.
Yeah. That's my fourth pick.
It's so good.
The tracks with her and Ghostface are super
cool. They're so good.
She was fucking rad. Do you think
before her time maybe a little bit?
Either before or after or just not
the right time transcended time i think she's i think there's always a time for an amy winehouse
yeah yeah we always need a real good good like growl yeah she got yeah like she's got pipes but
she's dark yeah yeah yeah that song uh back back to black? Yeah, Back to Black is so good.
Yeah.
And it's right in my range part of it, so I'll sing it.
Also, when you hear her sing No Good live, that's so good.
Yeah, she was so good live.
She was so good.
Just trashy and damaged.
And I mean, R.I.P.
It sucks that all that stuff happened, of course, but it just makes it such a compelling figure.
Just a compelling figure when you hear these.
She had weird issues with her dad.
Yeah.
Really great Halloween costume.
Oh, I bet.
There were like three years where everyone I knew
was an Amy Winehouse.
Drawn shoe horses.
The beehive.
It's like the beehive and I can get hammered?
Well, yeah, I'll dress up like that for Halloween.
You mean this can be part of my costume?
All this alcohol?
Yes.
And then everybody got to put the mole on?
I believe Jew, which is big for me.
British?
Which is big for me.
British.
Jewish?
Jewish.
Big time Jew.
Yeah.
Okay.
Her father, Mitchell Winehouse.
Now, if I've ever heard a Jewish name,
that is right there.
Mitchell Winehouse. Mitchell Winehouse
Mitchell Winehouse
what's that song
Rehab
Rehab
yeah Rehab
fucking amazing
and then
Jay Z on the remix
that was what
she came out with
right was Rehab
wasn't that like
no I'm No Good
was the first one
I also love Valerie
oh yeah
which is a cover
but like she does
an amazing
I don't even know Valerie
she would be she would be
she would be
killing it right now
yeah
if Amy Winehouse
it's fun
I'll look it up
yeah yeah
yes she would be
absolutely
if anyone
who's passed
I think
what am I trying to say
she might be killing it the most
out of anyone who's passed
who we lost too early recently
yeah
she
she had a lot to show us
she just didn't give a fuck
I wish she just would have.
How old was she when she died?
27.
She was part of the 27 Club.
Can you imagine?
You know Kurt Cobain would have been 50 two days ago?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking crazy.
He would have been lame.
No, he wouldn't have.
I'm just kidding.
No, yeah, he probably would have been.
I think that Tupac would have been lame.
He would have been like my mom's age.
He would have been a little Will Smith, right?
Yeah.
Oh, we got a big-ass Brita filter.
That's what he's into.
He's fucking 50.
Now, before we continue on with the draft, we have to shout out to one of our sponsors.
Tiffany.
Oh, shit.
Today's episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by our good friends at Squarespace.
Make your next move with Squarespace.
Whether you're creating a website to sell the jam you make by hand,
or to sell second-hand shiny puffy suits, like from the Puff Daddy and Mace video,
why not use Squarespace's award-winning designer templates to make that website?
I used it myself to make my website.
You've heard me say this before.
Look, I'll drop the charade.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was my ex-girlfriend.
It was my ex-girlfriend who made the website.
It was, you know.
And it would be easy for me to talk trash about the website
because she left.
She's gone.
You know.
You know it's still there, though.
It's that website.
Because Squarespace never left.
Squarespace wouldn't leave you like that.
And you know why?
Because they have an award winning 24-7 customer service platform.
If you're having a problem somehow with your Squarespace site, which I don't see happening candidly between the two of us.
A lot of people saw the problems between me and Amanda on the horizon.
A lot of people.
Easy to see that coming.
But were they, you know. saw the problems between me and Amanda on the horizon. A lot of people. Easy to see that coming. But nobody could see the problem with the website. The website is still up and running just fine. And it's no surprise with their beautiful award-winning designer
templates. You can create a beautiful website or an online store using those templates.
It's just a beautiful way to present your ideas online. And I'll tell you this. I'll
tell you this right now, just between you and me.
Squarespace offers a unique domain experience that's fully transparent and simple to set up.
Flexible for any kind of website.
Creative stuff.
Business stuff.
Just maybe a website asking your ex-girlfriend to take you back.
You know?
I don't know if it's going to work.
I don't know if it's going to work, but it's worth a try.
For God's sake.
You know, even once you've moved on and you're happy, and I am, you know, I am happy.
Because now I'm in a good relationship and I still have this website that works.
And I'm not mad.
We're friends, actually.
If we're being 100% honest, we're friends.
So start your free trial today at squarespace.com and enter the offer code all fantasy to get 10
off your first purchase again go to squarespace.com and enter offer code all fantasy to get 10 10
off your first purchase all right let's get back to the episode i'm going i'm going down i'm spiraling
i'm spiraling. I'm spiraling.
All right.
Thanks again to our sponsor, Squarespace.
Make sure you check out Squarespace.
Sorry about that emotional break.
Sorry.
Sorry about that emotional breakdown that I had during the year. My Squarespace website was made by a female as well.
We're still together.
Oh, a female. Your girlfriend.'re still together. Yeah. Oh, a female.
Your girlfriend.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, my girlfriend.
Yeah.
Mine.
Well, you guys heard me out.
And I just made my fourth pick with Amy Winehouse, another woman who left.
Megan, Gailey, it is time for your fourth pick.
You know she's a true diva because she just has one name, Adele.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
Yep.
Whoa, that was also very good.
Thank you very much.
I wasn't ready for it.
Every time I hear the word Adele, again, I get a little bit of that in me.
I wasn't going to pick her.
She's not even on my list.
Yeah.
But it's like.
You made the right move.
She's referenced in every, like, almost every single person we've talked about.
Yes.
She comes up.
She is a true icon.
Her songs, her concerts, she's just a voice.
She, like, makes people, like, want to do their eye makeup that way.
Everybody's like, I'm plump.
Everyone's thrilled.
She's fucking so dope.
She came back, too.
Yeah.
When she was gone for a minute and you're just like, hello.
She went to go have a kid.
She was so famous and respected that she was just like, I'm going to fuck off for a couple
of years and I'll come back and you'll love me.
Her first song, Chasing Pavements, is incredible.
And then, I mean, Rolling in the Deep is probably one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time.
It's so good.
Yeah.
That song, my mom took time out of her day to call me,
and she goes,
have you heard this song,
Roland Aviv?
I was like,
mom,
if you've heard of a song,
then I've heard of this song.
But she took the time out of her day
to let me know how dope it was.
Shout out to Saint,
Kelly Jordan.
Shout out to Sue Carmel.
She's also like business-savvy.
She does shit that's cool.
Yeah.
I didn't even know.
She like drops all of her music.
Her and Beyonce, they like defy reason.
It's like a very Louis C.K. thing.
They're just like, here it is.
Take it.
So great.
Yeah.
Not like, not sprinkling singles on the way up to it.
So great.
Yeah.
She's fucking, she seems like such a fun hang too.
She seems so cool.
Yeah.
She does seem really cool.
Carpool, the carpool karaoke she did.
Sure.
With my boss and friend.
Jimmy Podcast. Jimmy. Heard of the podcast, Jimmy Chords. carpool the carpool karaoke she did sure with my boss and friend jimmy podcast jimmy cords jimmy cords jimmy crack cordon uh is she look she's so fun in it she just seems so fun like she'd be really fun i saw there's like a 50 minute version of it
because there was so much good stuff that it hasn't been released to the world but like yeah
yeah i watched it i remember we got back from a shoot and like producers are watching I was
like I want to watch this whole thing I mean she's so charming it's just such a
good voice one of the best singers on the planet not even like exaggerating
she just is and then also fun yeah fucking jackpot and has like a cockney
speaking voice yeah I like people who talk trashy.
Yeah.
Sorry.
When she restarted that song.
Wait, we have to acknowledge.
What'd you say?
I didn't say anything.
Nothing came out.
He said, sorry.
I didn't think we were going to slam on the brakes after that.
I thought we were going to keep rolling.
It's very funny to not even say a word in an accent and just make a noise in an accent.
That's us playing a pool game where I made the eight ball in the wrong pocket and you're mad at me.
That's what I would say.
What are you going to call the eight ball?
Oh, the eight ball.
Yeah.
She's great.
When she restarted that song at the Grammys, I thought that was so endearing.
That is a fucking gangster move.
She did the same thing at rehearsal for the Grammys I thought that was so endearing she did the same thing at rehearsal
for the Grammys where like there was a sound mix
I might get in a lot of trouble for saying this
yeah I don't know if you should say it
well actually I'm saying it
I heard she did the same thing at the Grammys
Sean why did you mimic my voice
I don't think anyone would mind me saying this
there was like a slight sound mix up at the Grammys
whatever fuck it man
fuck I'm ready to die i'm ready to die i made peace with god a while
ago whatever i really don't care and there was a slight mix-up and she was so charming and cool
about it you know and was like like she just seems like such a cool, nice person. And again, because she performed twice, and it was during the George Michael tribute,
which I love that song, Fast Love, by George Michael.
And like, her cover of it was fucking ill, too.
It was amazing.
During dress rehearsal, I got to see the Grammys.
I'm going to brag about it.
I'd be talking about it a bit.
We got to, because we, where the writers were stationed during dress rehearsal was right
by the middle stage, where she opened by singing hello.
So I was like five feet from her when she sang hello.
That voice is for real.
I bet you feel it like in your belly, like in the bottom of your stomach.
Yeah, you do.
Like if you're about to get in a fight or something, like that part.
It is.
It's down there.
It's that part you can't access except when there's a very real moment happening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She is just fucking so rad. You're making
me feel so good about my pick. It was a great
pick. It was a great pick.
I almost went with that instead of Winehouse, and maybe I should
have, but
that Jew thing. Even though Adele
is a Jewish name. That Jew thing.
I had a boobie named Adele.
Sean, it's time for your fourth pick.
Alright.
The third pick.
This might be my weird one but it's this is coming from the heart i think you guys are gonna be into it but we're
going pat benatar on this one that's great i don't know why i thought you were gonna say avril
is pat benatar a pop diva i mean oh come on. Okay, okay. Love is a battlefield. All right. I'm just raising questions that I feel like our listeners will also be wondering about.
I felt like this question was going to be and should be raised.
Yeah.
So I looked up Definition Diva today, and it's basically just a female who sings popular
music, is what it says.
And the pop part of it is just short for popular, and I really think Pat Benatar had like a
decade nailed with popular music
we belong love is a battlefield hit me with your best shot heartbreaker i mean oh she did we belong
too yeah there are so many bangers i love that song yeah and it's like it's like she made karaoke
for people 20 years from when she was writing those songs.
Which is what musicians want.
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Listen, Pat.
I'm with you. Young Pat. She's a mezzo-soprano.
She, yeah, Pat Benatar
was dope. Yeah, fantastic.
Another one of my Uncle Joe's
all-time favorite women,
Celine Dion and Pat Benatar. I just wanted to make sure
they both made the list.
If you're listening in Modesto, here you go. Hey, Celine Dion and Pat Benatar. So I just wanted to make sure they both made the list. Good.
Shout out to Joe.
If you're listening in Modesto, here you go.
Hey, Joe.
Oh, Modesto.
She was the first female artist to play on MTV.
Whoa.
Yeah, wasn't it the first video?
I thought the first one.
No, Video Killed the Radio Star.
Oh, all right.
I made up shit.
For some reason, I thought that was the first.
Well, all right.
Her real name, Patricia Mae Andrzejewski.
What?
Andrzejewski.
Where's Benatar come from, I wonder?
She married a man named Dennis Benatar.
No.
And they divorced in 1978, after which she married Neil Giraldo.
Oh, she didn't take Giraldo?
To whom she...
Pat Giraldo?
Pat Giraldo.
Patricia Giraldo. They're she didn't take Giraldo? Pat Giraldo. Pat Giraldo. Patricia Giraldo.
They're not married anymore.
Benatar.
Benatar was a way doper last name than Andrew Zajewski.
Andrew Zajewski.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, Benatar.
Benatar's a good name.
She's dope.
She feels real New Yorky to me, which makes sense.
She's from New York.
But she just feels like getting punched in the mouth.
Yeah, it's gritty.
Yeah.
She just gets a song and grabs a hold of it yeah you know like uh all of all of
her bangers are just super dope belt them out songs yeah and she's toured with ariel speedwagon
sorry when there's people that don't have hard opinions about it just cruise the wikipedia a
little bit i'm okay with that yeah we don't need hard opinions about it, just cruise the Wikipedia a little bit. I'm okay with that.
We don't need hard opinions.
Do they sing Sister Christian?
Yeah.
Do you think she ever sang Sister Christian?
Oh, wow.
I would love to.
I would watch that.
Night Ranger sang Sister Christian.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I meant to say.
Not R.L.
Speedwagon.
Okay.
I knew it as soon as he said it.
I was like, Sister...
That's not the point.
Turns out...
I'm like the Eagles, Chicago.
I'm like, they're all the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's been such a long time.
All these bands, and they were also sticks.
Yeah.
What the fuck did R&L Speedwagon sing then?
Love Hurts, right?
Didn't they sing Love Hurts?
Love Hurts, that one.
Days to Confuse.
And what was the best friend song?
Some slow jam.
You got one.
Yeah, she said.
That was already a speed wanking.
No, like your friends cheat or some shit.
I don't know.
Oh, Jessie's Girl.
No, that was.
You might as well have played all these fucking songs.
Apparently they had some song called Can't Fight This Feeling.
Can't fight this feeling anymore.
Oh, okay.
I forgot what I started fighting for.
Yeah.
That song seems to have been made
only for commercials.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was for somebody
who hasn't had like,
they haven't had like a white chocolate
Nestle Crunch bar in a while.
Yeah.
I almost bought one today at Vons like a white chocolate Nestle Crunch bar in a while. Yeah. I almost bought one
today at Vons.
They had white
Nestle Crunch rabbits
in the grocery store
coming up for Easter.
That's more of a
G-Easter kind of thing
like a G-Easter
when you get the white chocolate.
By the way,
you're welcome for
killing Christ
so you could have
your fun little holiday.
That's an interesting
take on that.
Uh-huh.
A little gratitude.
I've never heard it.
I've never heard it. I've never heard it.
Maybe a little gratitude.
What about big ideas over here?
Everyone's mad at us for being Christ killers, like he wasn't going to die eventually anyway.
And by the way, we killed him and you got Christmas and Easter.
Just a little gratitude.
Thanks, man.
I think we were going to get Christmas.
Yeah, but if he would have died of old age, it wouldn't have been spectacular.
Oh, and his dad knew.
I mean, if anything, God was just like, I told you that they were going to do this.
Yeah.
Told you not to hang out over there.
And we didn't really kill him because nobody ever dies every morning.
Right.
He rose.
We're all here forever.
So we got that to look pretty good.
I realize that this is what the fans came here for.
Just next time you chew it on a fucking jelly bean.
You know.
Chew jelly beans?
Oh, yeah.
You do eat those on Easter.
Yeah, they come in a little.
Yeah.
Cadbury cream egg. I can't fuck with. Oh, the Reese's egg. those on Easter. Yeah, they come in a little. Yeah. Cadbury cream egg.
I can't fuck with.
Oh, the Reese's egg.
Yeah, I can't fuck with the Cadbury.
Why?
Even the ones that are just straight caramel?
It's just a lot.
It's a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
But so you're saying you don't like it or it's just a lot.
You never been high on Easter?
Oh, I have now.
I actually don't know.
I don't know.
I've got a ham.
I'm probably so full of ham.
I've been high most Sundays.
I assume an Easter snuck in.
If Easter's going to be on a Sunday this year like it usually is, then I'll probably be high.
I'll probably be in pretty stony baloney.
David Borey.
Oh, my turn?
You've picked Tiffany, Dean Howard, and Rihanna, and it is time.
What a fucking list.
I feel like I'm just assembling a street gang.
It's an effective street gang. It is. I feel like I'm just assembling a street gang. It's an effective street gang.
That's what I mean.
Oh, you know who I'm going out with?
Also one name. Also could beat you up.
Madonna.
I can't believe she went this late.
I am a huge
I am a huge
In true diva form, she would be very upset.
Papa Don't Preach is one of my favorite videos.
Oh, yeah.
Is that the one with that wrestler in it no yeah yeah yeah yeah no no no no uh that's oh no never mind i'm thinking yeah artists in the opera yeah but similar similar kitchen dad yeah there's a
kitchen in the dad okay that's what i don't preach also she's wearing that shirt that says
italians do it better yeah which is pretty funny. Lucky Star.
Like a Prayer.
Borderline.
Like a Prayer.
Material Girl.
La Isla Bonita.
Oh, man.
Even later era.
La Isla Bonita is like, that's my song.
La Isla Bonita.
Lucky Star for me and time.
Yeah.
And when the sun don't rain, the sun would set so high.
Ring through my ears.
Sting my eyes. Spanish lullaby
That was quite
That's how they put
That's how Spanish kids
Go to sleep
Yeah
That's how Spanish kids
Go to sleep
Listen to that dope ass
Your rendition of that song
I'll make you wild and free
And then
And then I come in
When their parents
It's Spanish lullaby
It's Spanish lullaby it's Spanish lullaby
then I crip walk
out of the room
and they drift off
to sleep
every night
I didn't care about
Madonna at all
I was just like
this bitch does not
matter to me
and then I saw her
I was at the Super Bowl
that she did
the halftime show
you were at the Super Bowl
you've been to a Super Bowl
was that the one
in Indianapolis
yeah of course
my parents weren't
taking me out of the city
yeah to the Super Bowl that's crazy they were like we can go to the one in Indianapolis? Yeah, of course. My parents weren't taking me out of the city. Yeah, to the Super Bowl.
That's crazy.
They were like, we can go to the one here where the corn ends, and you'll see Madonna
ride out on a dragon.
Is that a real place?
Just go down to where the corn ends.
No, because the corn doesn't end.
It goes all the way to Colorado, where it dies a cold death.
It never ends.
Never. It dies a dies a cold death. The corn never ends. Never.
It dies a chilly, alone death.
The point is, I love Madonna.
Can't dance, we're shit.
No, not a great dancer.
But I like watching her try.
She can, she had some, no.
Ray of Light?
Most.
I like Ray of Light.
Yeah, she's doing that.
That's my least favorite Madonna is Ray of Light. Listen to it again. I love, Light. Yeah, she's doing that. That's my least favorite Madonna is Ray of Lodge.
Listen to it again.
I love, really?
Yeah.
I just feel like that was when everybody's wearing those stupid fucking
cowboy hats.
Yeah, the video's stupid.
Yeah.
But the song is okay.
I'll listen to the song again.
And to close this out, I've referenced her several times on the podcast.
Yeah.
Who would I be?ary j blige the
queen of hip-hop just if you ever wanna man she just tries so hard she makes me hate men yeah
like i listen to her like that what's that song oh i want to be with you when she had like not
had it because it was like i feel like originally there's like,
what's the four one,
one marriage.
A Vlade,
which is really fun.
I'm looking for real love.
Oh,
we're all having a good time.
Such a good one.
Yeah.
But then waiting to exhale drops.
Yeah.
Now we got not going to cry.
Right.
And that's who we are.
But then she comes back with hateration in the dancery.
She's doing good now,
but then I'll be waiting up until you get home
you know what I'm talking about
that song
you remember that song
that song in my heart I feel it
so much
a woman with a facial scar is hot
a woman and with big glasses
and she's just like
man she can't
she made that business with that guy.
He just fucking left her.
11 years of sacrifice.
What happened?
And not gonna cry.
He left.
She was his love writer and his secretary.
Oh.
Working every day of the week.
Was at the job when no one else was there helping him get on his feet.
Yeah.
You guys gotta see Waiting to Exhale.
Because that song is just the plot of that movie.
I've seen Waiting to Exhale.
Yeah, that song's just the plot of that movie Yeah with Taye Diggs
Yeah
It's Taye Diggs?
No no no no no no no
That's how Stella got her roof back
That's Whitney
Oh
Waiting to Exhale is
Your girl Whitney Houston
Angela Bassett
Robin Givens
Yeah
Okay
Yeah
Hateration
Toleration in this dancery
Always confounded me as a youth
Nobody knew what was going on
No
Were those slang words?
No she just did that
That was all on
Nobody was saying hateration
Or danceration
Dancery is so much crazier than
Hateration and holleration
I can understand hateration and holleration
Dancery?
Dancery?
Like a dancery?
Like a nursery?
I think it's like she was in this dancery.
So it's like the dance hall is the dancery.
Were people calling dance halls danceries?
And they're eating ice cream.
It's an ice creamery.
Yeah.
I mean, you're right.
You're definitely right.
Yeah.
Sure.
That was a one song trend.
Oh, the dancer?
Nobody else was like, we're going to – so we say dancer-y now.
Nobody picked up the baton.
No.
Hey, you guys want to go to the dancer-y?
Stop saying that.
Shut up.
You're not Mary J. Lodge.
Shut up, Paul.
Very respected by all gamers, too.
Oh, universally.
Yes.
Everybody defers to Mary Mary.
Yes.
Her voice, like, she has a great voice.
I just feel her songs, man.
Entourage cameo? Entourage cameo.
Entourage cameo.
And I feel like
we're a couple years away, and then she's
gonna have another huge... 100%. Yes.
Rebirth. I think she'll
do that for the rest of her life. Oh, yeah.
Because all her songs are about, like, the triumph
of love. Like, it's
bad. I'm...
Give me the gun. I'll put it
in my trunk because I
love you. She may assassinate Trump.
Oh, I would
love that.
Yo!
It was right in front of us the whole time.
Get out of here.
She'll let Mike Pence run away.
He would too. He'd walk backwards. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I think Damon Dash is going to pay her $100 million.
Wearing a pair of shoes that he's only worn once.
He only wears shoes once.
She'll go to Nicaragua until it's chilled out and all the evidence against Trump was
revealed and it was like, oh, she was a hero.
Oh, look at that.
And then she'll come back and probably write a great song about it.
About the whole situation.
I've never known what dude she was talking about.
I don't think she's ever been with a famous, famous dude.
I don't think so.
She's going to have a musical about her someday.
She's going to have one of those biopic musicals.
Oh, yeah.
I could see that.
Set to her life, all of her songs.
Because I always feel right.
She's got a do-nothing man who just still works at Grease Monkey.
I feel like she's dating a cooler version of me.
Like the coolest me like yeah he's
just a stand-up comic and he sleeps on my couch there isn't a cooler version of you no you're the
coolest version you're the best you're the coolest one is dating mary j should be are you you're
dating mary j blatch this is how you tell us this is i didn't want to all right he's downstairs
drinking uh that almond milk that you were so fond of? I was going to tell Bossup.com first.
A Bossup exclusive.
Cutty Sark.
That's my last.
Yeah.
And also I think she'd drink Cutty Sark with me.
I bet she would.
I'm sure she was drinking Cutty Sark when you were like four.
Excellent.
That excellent pick to round off the draft.
I feel good about my team.
It's an interesting team. It's an interesting team. Mary J. Blush. They've good about my team. Mary J. Blush.
It's an interesting team. Mary J. Blush.
They've never hung out together.
Mary J. Blush.
Mary J. Blush.
Blush.
Mary J. Blush.
Mary J. Blush.
Sean Jordan to build on the success of your Pat Benatar pick.
Right.
Where are you going last?
Where are you landing your plan?
Last is going to be Cher.
Oh, no!
No!
Fuck!
No, no, no!
Do you believe in love?
I couldn't believe it.
I can't believe I fucking didn't pick her.
That's the first concert I ever went to.
I'm so upset with myself.
Really?
First time I ever smelled weed.
On my phone, I missed Madonna.
And when it got picked, I'm like, you fucking idiot.
So I just went through.
I was not going to pick Cher.
And I was like, nobody's picked her. So through I was not going to pick Cher and I was like
nobody's picked her so yeah
I fucking turned back time
I love that song
I hate to keep making this about like
how we felt as like how I felt as like
a young man seeing this that's not
what I'm shooting for but that video was just
astonishing to me what she was
wearing in that video oh she was wearing the high
waisted and she was like in a leather jacket right yeah she was wearing the high-waisted in the leather jacket,
right? Yeah, and it was like sitting on a
cannon. It was just insane.
The ship, and her son was playing electric guitar.
Yeah. Sherilyn, real name,
Sherilyn Sarkeesian.
Really? Yeah. That sounds
like another
time of Cuddy song.
Gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
Gypsies and tramps and thieves, that's a good song.
I got you babe
She's been in movies that I actually like
Like Little Mermaids and Mask
I like both those movies
Mask was fucked
She's a good actress
She won a fucking Academy Award
Oh and they always rip her
And that is some diva shit
When you can win an Oscar
People do rip her
Because she dresses weird And that is some diva shit when you can win an Oscar. Yeah. People do rip her. Fuck, why?
Why the fuck are we here?
Because she dresses weird.
Yeah.
But she's like, this is how I dress.
Wait until I get a taste of this money.
I love how weird she is.
Only Cher knows what it's like to be Cher.
True story.
So does she dress weird or does she dress normal for Cher?
No, she dresses perfect.
I'm saying.
We don't know what it's like to be Cher sitting here in our ivory towers.
I'd love to know what it's like to be Cher.
I can't even understand what it's like to be Cher. Oh, our ivory towers. I'd love to know what it's like to be Cher. I can't even understand what you're saying.
Ivory.
Oh, yeah.
That's all I ever heard.
What were some other – what were like after Turn Back Time but like before?
Will you tell us, guy?
You picked her.
Love after love.
I'm just seeing it.
I'm just fucking –
So I'm just feeling it right now.
Love after love.
What's before that?
Give me something before that because I was struggling.
Well, Believe was a big comeback for her.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was struggling.
I saw her at the Believe – I've seen her twice in concert.
And once Cyndi Lauper opened for her
and once a magician did.
How was that?
Oh, it was...
They actually fight for spots a lot,
Cyndi Lauper and that magician.
Cyndi Lauper and Tiffany
fighting for who gets to open for her.
It was like...
I mean, the first time I saw her,
it was the first time I'd ever smelled weed.
There were these two gay dudes in front of us smoking weed
and my mom was like you smell that?
and I'm like yeah and she goes whenever you smell that
run in the other direction
and then Cyndi Lauper came out like
just wanna have fun
and I was like what the fuck is happening
but then Cher just like descended from the heavens
she's incredible
I believed you until you said that there were two gay dudes
at the concert.
Just sounds a little suspect. At the Cher concert.
At the Cher and Cyndi Lauper double bill.
Living their best life.
Man. What a fun concert.
If I was gay at a Cher concert,
I would get it in.
God, what a time.
Talk about get your molly on.
She's not in Vegas anymore, is she?
No. She was in Vegas for us.
She'll be back.
Sue Carmel's a big Cher fan.
Shout out to Sue Carmel.
Sue Carmel.
Saint.
There wasn't a lot before, I believe, because she was like, that's when Sonny died and she
was on a directing and stuff.
Yeah, I was thinking about that today.
There was a sex change.
Oh, chastity.
Chastity.
I mean, I've always made fun of Sonny Bodo.
I was always like, that's a dick move.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
It is.
It's kind of funny the way he died, but still.
Where they crashed into a tree while skiing.
All the Kennedys died that way.
Yeah.
No one fucking rags on them.
I guess some of them got murdered.
Yeah, I was like.
It's no funnier than somebody getting drunk and falling out of a window.
Of course, the famous way the Kennedys died.
Crashing into a tree while skiing.
Or murder.
Or plane crashes. Not the plane crash.
Yeah.
She was weird. Didn't she marry that
she married that
that bakery guy
for a while? She married a baker?
She had like some ratchet times where she was
living in like New York and married
She was definitely in an infomercial like early in infomercial days.
Yeah.
Because everybody made fun of her for it.
She maybe didn't marry him, but Rob Cameletti, an 18 years younger bagel baker.
Oh.
What?
She dated for three years.
Yeah, you know, I just opened up this bagel shop.
She had a bagel baker in it?
Yeah.
Come on down to Cameletti's.
We'll get you a bagel.
Dude, Cher did.
Cher was fucking slaying it.
I put all the holes into myself.
Hey.
Cher was fucking.
Cher fucked Primetime Val Kilmer.
Cool.
Primetime Eric Stoltz.
Nice.
Primetime Tom Cruise.
Get it.
What?
A hockey player named Ron Duguay.
Richie Sambora.
Richie Sambora.
Richard.
And then this bagel baker.
You know what bugs me about her fucking Eric Stoltz is that Eric Stoltz played her son
in a movie.
Yeah.
So that's weird to me
isn't that weird? I think that happens a lot
really? probably vice versa a lot of the vice versa
cause they're just like oh you're 32 you're the mom
now and the kid's like but I'm 30
and they're like well just fuck when the camera's off
whoa
you just broke it down so I'm like
I just saw Home Alone yesterday so I was
trying to fit it
O'Hara fucks him it doesn't fit I just saw Home Alone yesterday, so I was trying to fit it.
O'Hara fucks him.
It doesn't fit.
Catherine O'Hara and Macaulay.
Cher also had a very wildly, wildly successful TV show.
Sonny and Cher was a huge, huge TV show.
And she had chops.
It was funny.
It was like laughing, right?
It was like a variety show.
I think she's still funny.
She's funny on Twitter.
She's very interesting on Twitter.
She tweeted the other day, Mike Pence is a bitch, and she spelled everything wrong.
Those aren't even hard words.
Whoa.
Spells it with a Y in there.
Just Mike with a three instead of an E?
Oh, okay, Cher.
You're a Latina teen.
Yeah, she's great on there. So sure yeah sure i love it great pick thank you
solid my she spurned also my favorite bit that i've ever written what's called musical shares
we did it on like the second week of the late late show it was exactly what it sounds like
musical chairs with everybody dressed up like share sure it was like tig mataro dressed like
share and james corden and somebody else nathan corddry i think it was weird and they were all With everybody dressed up like Cher. It was like Tig Notaro dressed like Cher and James Corden.
And somebody else, Nathan Corddry.
It was weird.
And they were all dressed like Cher.
What a silly group.
That is what, shit, that's fun though.
What's supposed to do.
Play musical chairs at home.
Yeah.
Get a leather jacket.
It's a good Halloween party for a theme. I think my roommates would be down.
Yeah, get a Gene Simmons wig and do your thing.
All right, Megan Gailey, it is time for your final pick.
This is so hard because I have one.
It's someone that I want to be recognized.
I'm just going to do it.
I agree.
She deserves to be recognized.
She is so fucking talented.
She goes so unnoticed.
She gave, I think, the number one Grammys performance I've ever seen.
Pink.
Pink!
I was thinking about Pink earlier!
We found out what we were doing today.
We were talking about Pink earlier.
Pink is...
Isn't her live show supposed to be incredible?
Yes.
What is going on with Pink?
Pink seems like a one of one.
You know what I mean?
Do you remember when she first started, though, and she was all rap out?
Yeah.
Yes.
I don't want a man with a ching ching.
Yeah.
That, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, she has that song about how Hollywood, you're too, they wanted her to lose weight.
They just were like, ooh, we don't know what to do with you.
And they still don't, definitely.
They don't.
That's why she's not as successful.
That bitch can sing. That bitch can perform.
She married a BMX driver.
Divorced him and then remarried
him. Oh, they got remarried?
Yes. Carrie Hart.
That's a diva move.
Oh, the tattoo guy.
I want out for a while, but I'm going to want back in, so don't go anywhere.
And her songs are great.
Her songs are really like... It's like get buck pop music.
It is.
Tapato from Shop.
So what?
I got my fuck you.
That song is so good.
I'm going to fuck you.
Right?
Don't let me get me, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, all her songs are good.
But that one is so good.
But she's such a confusing person to me.
I don't know.
Because she's doing her thing.
Yeah.
She's definitely doing pink.
Who are you?
Who am I supposed to?
What is supposed to have gotten me to you?
Well, initially.
If she's an island in the middle of the lake, what are the stepping stones?
Is it Christina Aguilera?
Oh, I don't know.
She feels like an animal that has evolved from no...
I think they thought black people were going to like her more than...
Is that what it was?
I think so, too.
And then they had to scramble a chance.
Because the first video was, like, kind of an R&B video, but also they were skateboarding
and everybody's like...
They were.
But she also said she doesn't want a man with a bling bling.
And she had pink hair, which is, like like a way more black people thing than a white girl
thing my mom has had red hair a bunch of times but like red like clifford red she her whole
aesthetic is kind of like black girl like a black that's a weird thing it sounds so awful
but like that specific haircut i feel like I've only really ever seen.
Oh, that's like a white lady who liked black guys' haircuts.
Yeah, that totally is, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
You know exactly.
Oh, oh, oh.
That's exactly what it is.
Let's all clutch our pearls up here.
That's the haircut of a woman with, like, a mixed kid.
Yes, 100%.
Yes.
She wears striped, tight shirts to work.
Yeah.
No, yes.
She has three hoop earrings, and she listens to Erykah Badu when I watch her.
She would have picked Mary J. Blige first round.
Yeah.
She would have picked Mary J. first because she knows what she's going for.
When Pink came out, I know I just – you're talking about like almost every girl that I grew up with.
I mean like I know.
Oh, that.
It's just – it really hit a chord.
It was hilarious.
Pink came out.
Who decided on that hairstyle?
How did that become that?
I got a list of, like, 30 girls that I know that I think were in the tribunal.
Pink came out in a weird time in music when, like, there wasn't, she didn't really fit into anything.
No.
No.
Because she was just doing a bunch of different shit.
And it was, like, the late 90s, right?
So.
Yeah.
Everybody was just figuring weird
stuff out about the like clothes were weird it there wasn't really like they made her name be
pink too i know with an upside down exclamation you know what they didn't because i'm reading up
on her name is uh alicia beth moore okay right. I think that's a pretty name, Alicia Moore.
She adopted the name Pink from the Reservoir Dogs movie.
Oh, really?
From Mr. Pink.
From Buscemi?
Yeah.
Why do I got to be Mr. Pink?
Wow.
Pink.
She had had the nickname for quite some time by that point.
And initially, it had been like a mean thing.
She thought it was like a mean thing.
point and initially it had been like a mean thing she thought it was like a mean thing uh and she went from a skateboarder to hip-hopper to rave child to lead singer in a band
those are the 90s right there yeah she was convinced to audition to be a member of a
of a girl group called basic instinct and she got in and then they disbanded without releasing any
material and at 16 pink and two other girls formed another R&B group called Choice.
Tight.
And a song called Key to My Heart went to LaFace Records in Atlanta, Georgia, where none other than L.A. Reid overheard it.
Good.
Is she from Atlanta?
No, she's from Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
Doylestown.
Doylestown?
Doyle.
That is a joke.
What do you mean you're going to call yourself pink?
And then her and the other members of Choice moved to Atlanta,
and they made an album which was never released.
No.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
A lot of pink left on their table.
Oh, and then at a Christmas, this is savage.
Although one of their songs, this is crazy.
So they made a song called Key to My Heart.
The album never was released, but that song was released on the soundtrack to the 1996 movie Kazam.
Shit!
Yeah!
Swoop, swoop, swoop.
With the popular Shaquille O'Neal vehicle.
With Shaquille O'Neal.
And then at a Christmas party, L.A. Reid gave her an ultimatum, go solo or go home.
Wow. Then you go solo ultimatum, go solo or go home. Wow.
Then you go solo.
Thank you, bitch.
They can't get mad at you for going solo because it's like either we all go home or you two go home.
Yeah.
Like, you know, don't be mean about it.
Wow.
So that was Pink's journey.
Good for fucking Pink, man.
So she came up tough.
Yeah.
It's always been tough.
Yeah.
She's scrappy.
She was bad in high, like in songs she talks about like being thrown out of high school.
One of her teachers like trying to have sex with her.
Like, yeah, she like was rough.
She has a music video where she has an L.A. Reid like lookalike.
Oh, really?
Like kind of ragging on her, like drawing on her face to like get plastic surgery.
Oh, my God.
That's so harsh.
I'm going to watch some pink videos tonight.
Watch Glitter in the Air, the Grammy performance.
She was the first person I ever
saw do those trapeze
and
hips in water
and then comes out of the
water. It was something happened
at the Grammys that trumped
it, that it didn't get any press.
But I remember I've watched it
so high, so drunk. I actually watched it so high so drunk i actually watched
it after i saw beyonce in concert because i was on molly and i was like i don't know how to come
down and then i just watched glitter in the air i gotta get a good night yeah really that's tight
also the you know you're you're two you're two of the four members of Lady Marmalade.
I know.
That was definitely a guiding force.
I doubt they're going to get picked, so we can say them.
Lil' Kim and Maya, right?
Yeah, Lil' Kim and Maya.
I had Maya on my list.
She's on mine.
I mean, if we would have gone like 20 rounds again.
Ghetto superstar, that is what you are.
Oh, wow.
Probably my favorite Praws song.
Yeah.
I had to pick.
Go to my hat.
I had to pick a solo
Praws song.
Yeah, Maya had
some good ones.
She had that song
with the Rugrats video.
We're getting off track.
Take me there.
I want to go there.
That song.
Take me to the
Rugrats.
Yeah.
Tommy rides in the stroller.
Mace was on that song, too. All right. Yeah. Tommy rides in the stroller.
Mace was on that song, too.
All right.
It's a great pick.
We got to have an R&B. Last pick of the whole draft, and I'm feeling under pressure.
There's a lot on the table still.
Anything could happen.
As I look at the list here.
Yeah, I'm looking at my list, and I'm like, jeez.
A lot on the table.
A lot of honorable mentions, I feel like, are going to happen.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there are going to be a lot of honorable mentions.
Pink, that's so cool that you got picked.
I have such a soft spot in my heart for her.
Okay, I'm glad I did it.
I'm going to go crazy.
Okay.
Yeah.
Tiffany?
Annie Lennox.
Oh. Okay. Yeah. Tiffany? Annie Lennox. Wow.
Okay.
That's Katie Lennox, baby.
Yeah.
Annie Lennox was the Eurythmics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sweet dreams are made of these.
Yeah.
Also, walking on, walking on broken glass.
Walking on broken glass. Broken glass.
A couple other hits.
A couple other hits.
No more I love you's. Sure.
I don't even remember that.
It's so good.
Yeah.
But the ultimate Annie Lennox song and what sealed the deal for me.
Why?
And what sealed the deal for me.
Why?
Just some breakup songs.
Some adult ass. Some solid.
Yeah.
Some adult ass songs that I heard as a kid.
Man.
Couldn't wait to break up.
Couldn't wait to break up later.
Jesus.
At this point, this is definitely not me taking what I think is going to win me the draft.
No.
This means a lot to me.
You gotta go from your heart.
I don't have a lot else to say,
but Eurythmics was dope, and then
she was just awesome. Rocked that
bad short haircut.
Just looking modern.
Pretty odd color red.
Didn't she have it dyed? It looked all sorts of colors.
It was blonde. It was red. Yeah, it have it dyed? It looked all sorts of colors.
It was blonde.
It was red.
Yeah, it was like white blonde. Yeah, it was white.
Yeah, that's the Annie Lennox I love.
God, I missed so many.
I mean, we forgot Dolly.
We forgot Dolly.
I know.
That's like-
We forgot the divas.
Barbra Streisand, but I don't give a fuck about Barbra Streisand.
I don't either.
I forgot Gloria Estefan.
Diana Ross.
I had Chuck Conn on here. Tony Braxton. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. Gloria Estefan. Diana Ross. I had Chaka Khan on here.
Tony Braxton.
We didn't have Gaga.
Tina Turner.
Gaga.
Katy Perry.
Gaga.
Oh, shit.
I should have picked Gaga.
See, I was going to pick.
It was pink or Gaga for me.
I'm glad you went pink.
But Gaga got to jump off a stadium.
She just did.
You know?
It's like, we got to get pink some love.
Yeah.
We got to pink it up.
Well, pink did that shit first.
Yeah.
Excellent draft.
I had T-bombs for some reason.
Oh.
Tony Braxton was on my group.
Oh, you're making me high.
Yeah.
I mean, if we could have done groups, I would have just picked the Dixie Chicks five times.
Okay, that's fair.
Goodbye, y'all.
We didn't do Shania Twain.
She's on here.
We didn't do Shania Twain.
I have Aaliyah.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Nobody would have taken you.
Katy Perry. Oh, Katy have taken you. Katy Perry.
Oh, Katy Perry.
Yeah, Katy Perry.
Jessica Simpson.
I was thinking like 90s D-Ga.
Yeah, yeah.
Jessica Simpson would have been good for 90s.
Kelly Clarkson.
Kelly Clarkson's one of my favorites.
First American Idol winner.
I also had Kaya.
That's a big deal.
I was wilding out when I remember Kaya.
She sang My Neck, My Back.
I was wilding out.
Oh, no, we know.
She sang My Neck, My Back. Kylie Minogue was one no. We know. She sang My Neck, My Back.
Kylie Minogue was one that I saw on a lot of lists when I was looking them up today.
Is she a pop?
From just Australian lists?
Yeah.
Just a bunch of...
The Australian internet?
Melbournepedia.nz.
I was on the Australian dark internet today and I was watching Kylie Minogue articles.
So, to go over the picks, David...
Started off with Tiffany.
No last name.
I was so confident.
Then you went Adina Howard, Rihanna, Madonna, Mary J. Blige.
That's a good list.
That's a good list.
Sean Jordan, you went Mariah Carey.
Mariah.
Taylor Swift, Janet Jackson, Pat Benatar, and Cher.
That's a great one.
That's a good one.
That's a great one.
It got real chiseled at the end.
It got real chiseled at the end.
Megan, Megan Gailey went with Britney Spears, Whitney Houston,
Christina Aguilera, Adele
and Pink. God, that's a banger.
I think that might be the... You went with
P, upside and exclamation point, and K.
Oh, wasn't her album called Misunderstood?
Yes. With like a Z? Yeah, wasn't her album called Misunderstood? Yes.
With like a Z?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like understood.
Like with an A.
Rich Homie Karm's went Beyonce, Celine Dion, Aretha Franklin, Amy Winehouse, Annie Lennox.
That's fucked.
See, you guys' lists are dope because the last two are straight from the heart for both of you. And that's what's dope about them.
My list is just, they're at Costco right now.
Your list is waiting to kick the shit out of all of our lists in the parking lot.
Your list is giving you a ride.
So that's the draft.
Megan, thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you so much.
David and Sean, always a joy to see you guys.
Shout out to the producer, G.
Shout out to HeadGum Studios.
Shout out to Squarespace.com.
There it is.
Tune in again next week for another all-new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
Bang!
that was a hit gum podcast