All Fantasy Everything - Sick Day Activities

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Sean’s sick. David’s sick (as in cool). Ian’s Sikh (just kidding, he’s Jewish).Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. The podcast that is recording at 10pm. Nightcast. I'm your host Ian Carmel. No guests today. But we're drafting things to do when you're sick. Mm-hmm. With me as always are my good friends and comedians,

Sean Jordan and David Borey. One of whom is sick. Yeah, sicker than Tony Hawk's grandson. See, that's what you know, dude. I think you asked me. You guys are, it cut out, you guys are laughing too hard. Yeah, yeah. His grandson is pretty sick.

Is he a skateboarder too? It's Kurt Cobain. I mean, he's brand new, but it's Kurt Cobain and Tony Hawk's grandson. So Oh, that's right. That's right. I was thinking of the son. Yeah. But Riley skates.

He's like a yoga guy now and he owns a coffee shop, but he skates too. You see Whitney Cummings is dating a skateboarder? Chris Cole. Yeah, Chris Cole. I knew about that on the ground floor, Playboy. Who you talking to? Did you? I knew like six months ago, I did.

Nice. That's great, dude. Yeah, I felt pretty cool about it. So you being sick is a revelation to me because just earlier today we were texting because you didn't wanna record earlier in the day. We had some scheduling stuff come up. I got the Golden Globes later this week.

I'm winning a Golden Globe for... Seriously? They're on Parks and Rec, they're giving you an honorary Globe. I'm on Parks and Rec. You were earlier today, because now you're sick. No, I'm getting it.

What happens to you after 10? Okay, David Lough, David's not in Mexico right now. Yeah, it's already bad. I don't know, I're getting it. What happens to you after 10? Okay, David's not in Mexico right now. Yeah, it's already bad. I don't know, I'm staying away from it. All right. Lost his passport. Can't find his passport, he didn't lose his passport. The passport is unfindable.

It's gonna, oh, he's gonna find it. There's a lot of theories floating around. Brother, I checked every pants pocket, like we literally turn the house upside down. I just seen it like a week ago. What was the final, how late did you stay up looking? It's hard to be like, like when did you call it? I think like 11 45 midnight ish. Yeah. But the cool thing is I don't want to get too deep into it but your your boys getting his money back

So we're just going in February February anyway, yeah Insurance when you purchase a motherfucking trip you bought the insurance. I've never once I don't even know what what caused it I've never I don't even know what caused it. I've never had it. You don't know the idea? Fuck no. And then the flight, I got a flight credit,

but I fly so much that it's like, nah. Yeah, what are you gonna do with that? Well, I mean, it's like, I'll just use it. Yeah, I'll use it immediately. So it's like the same as a refund. So it's like, I can't believe it. Swear there was a time, and I know it's no longer upon us,

that you didn't need a passport to go to Mexico and Canada. Is that true? Yeah. Didn't you and I need to? Yeah, we went to Mexico when I was 18, 19. And I'm back. I don't think you need it by land. Oh, this is, yeah, we drove.

I think you need it, I think you have to have it by air. I don't think you need it by air. You were going by sea, right? Yeah, that's just. You still had to pay going by sea, right? Yeah, that's just. You still had to pay for the submarine, right? Yeah, we were flying to Long Beach and then we were gonna. You were taking a sort of a con-kiki boat situation,

just coming in the way of the ancestors. Couple of frogmen. Yeah. Yeah, and we're doing an extra day because this one was kind of last minute So she can take off an extra day if we do it later So it sort of works out better beautiful. I'm picturing you just putting layers on the sundae like how about an extra day? How about a nicer spot?

No, no, no, we just sat in it Oh, that's tough sat in it for a day. It's really all you can do. There's no... Especially because it got pushed to the end, so it was like, we were going to get pedicures. Yeah, man. And then it was like... Is it funny yet?

No. No, it still sucks. Yeah, it still sucks. Okay. Had to tell my boy Johnny, you don't have to wash the cat. Oh. He was looking forward to that too boy Johnny, you don't have to wash the cat. Oh. He was looking forward to that too.

He's gonna go further with. Listen, you guys haven't met this cat yet. Can I tell, she's a star. Everybody loves her. Oh my God. Oh my God. My cat Eddie's kind of like that. We're just like a real charismatic,

like out in the world kind of like, what's up everybody sort of cat. Just from outside with the tail up, like, who's here? Like sitting right next to people. Hey, can I get you anything? Like that kind of vibe. We got one of those and we got one who goes under the bed. Same.

Same. Yeah. That's maybe the dual cat dynamic, which is not something I ever thought I would speak to personally in my life, but you know, stuff changes. It's intense. The dual cat, super cat and stuff changes. It's intense dual supercat and

Where's that mix tape thunder cat scat man for others very there's so many Scat man sneaks in cuz it's he's got the cat Daddy's do do though, right? Yeah, it's poop. That's booby. It's nice. That's poopy. That's poopy booby-dooby Shysa are you speaking like that? Cuz you just recently saw Nosferatu set in coastal, Germany It's what did you did you know what you were going into with your mother? Was my mom my stepdad my sister and there's not a lot out my mother doesn't want to see a perfect crew for that Complete unknown it's like Mom didn't want to see a complete unknown it's like Mom didn't want to see it No, it's not Robert Dylan. No stepdad wanted to see it bad and he said wicked is a chick flick

Nobody wanted to see Mufasa except for me and then yeah, no soratio I wanted to see it and I heard it was erotic, but I rolled the dice The dice on what? What did you not think it was gonna be erotic? I heard it was erotic. How erotic? It matters. And I didn't sit in the same row as my mom,

cause she's in a wheelchair, so she sat in front of me. So she didn't see me. So you could beat off. She didn't see me jumping off, dude. On a scale from Lion King to Wild Things. There you go. Oh, well. Where do we land? On a scale from Lion King to Wild Things. There you go. Oh, well.

Where do we land? It's like, it's probably right in the middle. There's only one erotic scene that's at the end, but it is very erotic. Hand stuff or mouth stuff? Body stuff. Oh, okay. Body stuff.

And it's a vampire, so everything they do is sexy. My mom was all bummed out, because she's like, he's not a sexy vampire. I don't like ugly vampires. She was more of a lost boy. Well, she's famously a lost boy, sweetie. Yeah. Interview with the vampire. She likes long hair, wet dudes.

Yeah. Isn't it Willem Dafoe, the vampire? Oh no, he's the vampire hunter. He's killer, dude. And it's your boy, your boy, Skarsgard Bill Bill scotch guard. He's the vampire. Oh shit He's got range man barbarian and then like Pennywise knows for all two and I'm pretty sure he was the new John Wick villain Right in the fourth one You say range

Pennywise and Nosferatu There's some overlap there. I think. Ah, one's speaking German. Well, he said that he wants to play the Joker. I think Bill Skarsgard said that. He's pretty good at Pennywise, man, I'd let him. Is playing the Joker kind of like the Madden curse? It's his problem. Yeah, I don't think, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, well, the one was good, right? Didn't people like Joker and then Folly Ado, people didn't like? Oh. F like Joker and then Folly Ado? People didn't like? Oh. Folly Ado? Folly Ado. Good job. Folly Ado.

I didn't like, I don't know. I haven't seen either one of them Jokers. I wasn't a fan of the first one. No, I didn't. I didn't hate it either. It didn't have any real stronger emotions in me. It's just that personality type is not something I care to invest in that much.

Ledger, Ledger. Period. Okay. Yeah, but how'd that go? I still watch it. Nicholson wrote it. That's not what I'm saying. Nicholson wrote it pretty well. But that's what I'm saying. Some people beat the Madden Curse.

Yeah. Oh, that's true. That's a good point. I never saw your man Jared do it. Who else has been the Joker? J-Lo? Jared Leto? J-Lo.

What the J-Lo? It's 10 p.m. on All Fantasy Everything. Joker from the block. 11 over here. It's 11 in Denver. But it's nine in Mexico, baby. Isaac just sent people home from his house. We wanted to go a little bit earlier,

but Isaac had people over until 10 on a Monday. Isaac? Yeah. It was a good, yeah, I mean, Isaac. I love, I unironically love a night recording. I wanna say this. I think it sounds like that's, cause that's where the pussy's at.

Yeah, what are you talking about? The weather's a little redder at night. A little slippery in the alpha. Man. What were you guys doing at your house until 10? You don't have to go into it. I don't mind sharing about it. I do 12 step programs. You don't have to go into it. I don't mind sharing about it.

I do 12-step programs. I had some 12-step people over doing very sober recovery things. This isn't nearly as funny as we had hoped. Not funny. I was hoping it involved like coconut oil. No coconut oil. A massage? It's not like you were making like a quiche or some weird like nice snack.

That would've been cool. I'm not like you were making like a quiche or some weird I don't like using lubricant when I massage You do apply a dry rub though, right? You put like sort of a paprika salt. Chipotle. Some lardy's on there. What? Oh, that's so funny. Oh, an old dry rub Jordan. I've never, I've never stroked with it. You know, maybe in the shower, but I've never been like a lotion guy.

I think that you straight up just don't like lubricant. Never. Maybe when I was trying, figuring it out, but not these days. He doesn't like wet stuff. No. Yeah, you don't like wet stuff. Key area, that's it. What? Isaac said peace. I said a key area, that's it. No, I was like, you have a daughter, you know. Isaac! It just disappeared! I don't know if he meant that the way it came off. I know it came off.

I feel like that might have been, it did come off. It did come off. You are now, so you saw an asparad too early. It was an erotic experience for you and your whole family. And now you're sick. Yeah, I got sick. Oh, there he goes. Oh, he's in Mexico after all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Si, si. Como se dice lubricando. Ay, ay, yeah. Sissy. Almost a do say lubricando. I. I. I got to change it back. This is bumping me up.

I want I almost went full I. And then I'm like, I don't know if you should. I don't know if that's culturally sensitive. It's not. It's not for you. You. What have you ever cared? On wax? Wait, can you explain this,

what David just did for the audio listeners? Oh, you're back. Can you explain what you said about the people who aren't on the Patreon watching the video? That's a good point. David, what's going on real quick? We need to explain them on audio. Okay.

He changed his background to a tropical tropical setting I tried to give myself facial hair with it a mustache, but it only made it a little bit darker it really No, I can't where are these this is not good podcasting, I get it. In fact, it is bad podcasting, but here we are. Wait, I don't know how to turn it on. There we go, dude, look at me. Go to Nosferatu with a lover, not your mother. I'm gonna turn this off, I don't wanna be a bear anymore.

I look like I blew the Hulk. Yeah, you do, and you did a bad job. You need to get in there. Oh, man. I have a green loop around my mouth. Sean, how did you, when did you start feeling sick? Like hours ago, like crazy sick. I've had a cough, but like, I was, I was like, I had a fever last night.

I haven't had a fever. You went to the movie theater sick. So like you knew. Don't do that to me. I'm loopy. I haven't had a fever. You went to the movie theater sick, so like you knew. Don't do that to me. I have a loopy. What, I'm just asking. I was trying to take mom out and show her a good time. I didn't feel like crazy sick until we went to OMSI

after the movie theater, so until I went to a different more public place. Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. Here you go though, I bought some extra strength cough syrup and I noticed something. You wanna know what I noticed? Yeah. What'd you notice? It's crazy, but extra strength cough syrup and I noticed something. You wanna know what I noticed? Yeah. What'd you notice? It's crazy.

But extra strength cough syrup is the same price as regular strength cough syrup. Get out of town. Now, there has to be a stand up in this. You just stand up probably. No way. I gotta grab this. I need to figure out how to do it. That's impossible. Bonjour.

David has a beret on? Yeah. You wear that to Nosferatu, you'll fit right in. Oh my gosh, what's happening? That's a beret crown? I didn't see any today, but I was sick. I was coughing too much. I didn't see.

That's a good point. That's a good point, yeah. Yeah, I didn't notice what anyone else was doing. How do we turn this thing off? Well, I hope you feel better, man. We were talking. I've never heard you say you were sick before. I don't think in my entire, in our entire friendship.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've seen you kind of down from the bottle flu. Well, yeah, that don't count. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, I mean, come on, what are we doing? Red around the eyes and shit, but nothing. No, I'm hot and puffy right now. I was going back and forth last night.

Are you- What do you mean, going back and forth? Was that brief stop? Yeah, I figured. You were trying to find- Shh! Oh, there we go again! Took a minute. I find one.

I find. Sean is now a wolf. Did you tell her to have this? That's the hoodie you wear in your headshots. Did you tell her to wear that same crew neck? You know what's wild is do you guys have Instagram because they do this on Instagram, too Are you on there? You yeah, I'm on Instagram You're on Instagram at Shauna shorten on

Sean Cougar Melton Jordan on Instagram Shauna short on Twitter. Oh How do you get out of this? I gotta tell you This is pretty close to your vibe. This doesn't feel that different than talking to actually you. That's actually weird to me. Is it a cat? What am I?

It's a wolf or it could be like a Blaze the Trail cat. Sean, for those, again, listening. I'm trying to get out of it, I'm sorry listeners. I'll see everything. Sean is, this is also all very like Zoom stuff from 2022. Yeah, but I never messed with it. There we go. There he is. That was scary. He's back.

That was like when you think your face never is gonna feel right after the dentist, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. Yeah. I do know you, man. That was good, dude. That was killer. I'm on. We, uh. I'm on fire.

We have not forgotten about the pop culture fantasy draft, by the way. I'm talking to Allison. We'll be doing that next week probably. People, yeah, people are coming in pretty hard saying do it, but the year ain't over bro. A lot could happen tomorrow. A lot could happen tomorrow.

A lot could happen. A lot could happen tomorrow, dude. Yeah, I could fucking smoke on the beach. You could. You're there. We saw earlier. Beach in Denver Sorry Sorry, it's not funny. It was rude. It was rude and

Towards early conduct unbecoming of a gentleman and my deepest sympathies and an officer. Yeah Well, I'm not an officer after what happened where and why can people see you soon? Whoa I'm pretty funny. Hey. 10 p.m. comes. I'll be in San Antonio. Really?

Yeah, at the end of January. Or wait, I'll be in Houston. I'll be in San Antonio in Houston. One or the other is first. I'll be with Kyle. That's the end of January and the first week in February. Normally I know the dates better, but 10 o'clock. What do you do?

Yeah. Everyone in the house is asleep. I don't the dates better, but 10 o'clock. What do you do? Yeah. Everyone in the house is asleep. I don't even have my main light on in the room. It's just the ring light and the lamp. They're all asleep? Pretty much. What about that, dude? That's the 10 PM.

Hold on. This is, you look like you're an anonymous. We definitely been doing this for eight years. We're good at it, dude. We're good at it. Somehow recording a 10-pia, I guess you are sick. We're all pretty loopy and tired. Yeah, it's just a weird. I'm not, you know, I'm just like, I'm just sick.

I don't get sick a lot. So like a cough and my chest hurts from coughing. Like that, those muscles in the back that I never use, they're tense. Well, I rose, so I can't relate to that. Those muscles in the back that I never use, they're tense. Well, I rose, so I can't relate to that. Oh, you're a crew guy? Yeah, I might be a crew guy. Yeah, Ivan went to Dartmouth and so did you.

Four years of eligibility left. Yeah, we're on the same boat. Eligibility? Four years of acid left, what'd you just say? Four years of elebagility? It's like a little kid says it. No, you're not eligible. Oh my God. Did I say eligibility? It's like a little kid says it. No, you're not eligible.

Did I say eligibility? Wait, what did I say? I don't know what you said. Edulibility? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Edulbility? And you held up five instead of four. Oh, I had a blanket on. Now I'm upset to take it off.

I'm like five. It's like a church lock-in. I got five years of edubalility left, man. Don't talk to me like that. Did you guys ever do a lock-in like at school? Yeah, we did them at the Y. I always wanted to do one. I never got to go.

Oh, was that where you stay all night so you don't get into trouble? We slept in the pool area, and I was a sleepwalker, so my mom had to tell him, like, you have to keep an eye on this kid. And I'm willing to bet that they didn't keep that good of an eye on me I'm just saying who they were we were all sleeping right next to the pool. I could have walked in there I didn't cuz I got my shit together, but you slept next to a person. You're just sniffing chlorine all night seems like it Yeah, probably why I'm sick now. You hated that dude. It's wet in there. Yeah, I don't like

Danking there in the end. Oh, it was yeah And I don't Yeah, and didn't it like, dank in there, in the indoor? It was, yeah. And I don't, you know, I don't know why, there were plenty of places in the Y that didn't have a pool that we could've slept in. That does, now. It does feel weird. It seemed crazy.

As a kid, I guess it would seem pretty cool, like we're near the pool. Yeah, we all thought it was dope. I could wake up and swim. Although consider most adults you know, they would, you know, probably like not think about that. I cut out all the adults from my life except for you guys. Yeah, no more adults.

I decided after Nosferatu that things are different now. It's us and Richard Eggers, and those are the only adults in your life at this point. Absolutely, I know that guy. Directed Nosferatu? Yeah, I know him, he's in my life. Have you seen like The Northman and his other movies? No. Of the bitch?. You should they're good

Bitch got him David Boris here cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram That's it. Yeah, are they erotic as the Northman erotic? I Think no more or less erotic than Nosferatu. Roe Robert Eggers, not Richard. Thank you, my memory. And definitely not a DM from Isaac.

Thank you, my memory. You thought of that yourself. Richard Eggers. There were probably people at home just slamming their phone with letterbox on the screen against their steering wheel. Yeah, somebody just drove off the road. What's their steering wheel doing at their home?

That's between them and God. Some people, yeah. Yeah, she doesn't care. Some people what? Nice, dude. Some people what? Some people what? Some people have steering wheels at their house?

Is that what we're doing? Is that the roof? That's what you're doing. Am I? Am I? Was the roof on me? That's what you're doing. Am I? Am I? Was the riff on me? I thought it was on Sean. No, it was on Sean.

Yeah, Sean, God. I didn't do that. For God's sake. You did do that. You did do it. I'm sick. It's not my fault. Oh, okay.

Did I say what we're drafting? I did, which is we're things on a sick day. David, we're drafting things you could do on a sick day. We should really. Bye bye special. There it is. Birth of a nation. You could do that on a sick day.

That'd actually be a great idea. That should have been my first pick. It should have been your first pick. Oh shit, it should have been. Well, we can all draft it five times each. No. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel Across Platform. Watch the Golden Globes on Sunday.

I'm helping write them. Nikki Glaser, extremely funny person, hosting the show. Check that out. I have nothing else to promote. Buy T-Shirt Swim Club. My special comes out February, I want to say fourth? Yep. On 800 Pound Gorilla. So check that out. I want to say fourth on a 800 pound gorilla.

So check that out. Follow me on YouTube at IK Cooled You. Comfort beyond God's foresight it's called. That's what it's called, comfort beyond God's foresight. Always makes me think of foreskin. Comfort beyond God's foreskin too. That's also true. I bet God has a foreskin.

I don't think Jesus did, Jewish. Yeah, I don't think God's chopping it. If it's a dude. I don't think Jesus did. Jewish. Yeah, I don't think God's chopping it. If it's a dude, I don't think he's chopping it. No way, dude. Why would I beat God and have to chop my dick? It doesn't make any sense. Could God create a knife so sharp that it could cut through his foreskin?

It's like that could God create a boulder so heavy that not even he could lift it? This is audio gold. This is what we should be talking about. This is Ari Gold. I started watching the movie, I started watching Entourage the other day, it's on Netflix, oh my God.

The first line in the movie is Kevin Dillon, he goes, I might jerk it before we even get there. The first line in the whole movie. You gotta start with a movie. Nobody's there. I feel like they wrote that line and then they wrote a movie around it. Yeah, they did.

They were on one of those Mr. Ripley boats, one of those wooden Mr. Ripley boats. Oh, were they? Were they going to Venice? They were somewhere. Vince was having a yacht party. You know how Vince does. Yeah, yacht party guy.

Fresh off a divorce. Of course, of course, of course. To Sasha Grey? I forget what I... Well, he married Alice Eve at the end of Entourage. Oh, that's right. Been a while. Fleeting. Their romance.

We are drafting Things to Do on a Sick Day. We are not here to talk about the Entourage movie. Rather, to fantasy draft Things to Do on a Sick Day. Sean's having one right now. Mentally, David and I are both there. Yeah, it's not going good. No. Uh, the way we determine the order of this draft

is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the two of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, David wins! You. A paper against rock. You dastardly prick. You crushed it with your paper.

Calm down, Nosferatu. You think you can throw it in? Holy shit. You throw your rock that does nothing to my paper. But only thrown in one Nosferatu, you dastardly prick. You take your paper to the underworld. I have my rock. This sounds crazy.

Is pricking an English word? Probably, right? I think it's, yeah. Is that how Count Orlok talks? Who's that? That's the Dracula in, that's the Dracula. That's the vampire in Nosferatu. I don't think I went to Nosferatu today.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He actually is Zabu Faza. I believe it's Knuckles was the name of the bad guy in the movie I saw. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, there was E, yeah. He actually saw Mufasa. I believe it's Knuckles was the name of the bad guy in the movie I saw. Yeah, there was E, turtle. Is Knuckles not the bad vampire? There was Vince. Yeah, I don't remember that guy,

but yeah, I think pre-expired in English word. David, that's the winner of Rock Paper Scissors. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question.

It's like the longest shoot in Shoots and Ladders. Keep it going, keep it pushing. Does he do that? I think so. Hell yeah, dude. I did no research, but I played the game a lot when I was a child. I believe it goes back and forth.

Why question me, I gotta wonder. Okay. No. Yeah, you got it. I played shoots and ladders too. I don't remember one going back and forth, but I bet you're right. Is this your world, squirrel?

Just trying to bust a nut. Played a lot of Candyland too. Uh-huh. Miss Plum? No, that's- Probably not. I think that's Clue. The Prince.

Colonel Mumb, Colonel Mustard and Candyland. No, probably not. I think that's a Colonel mustard and candy It's Colonel mustard and the thimble Candy sounds like you're doing bad We used to suck a mustard seed. Ever since Prohibition ended, we started making. Every Memorial Day. Did Sioux Falls have like old western style towns that you would drive to that were sort of like frozen in time, that had like old fashioned candy stores?

That had gross candy? Kinda less and less now, but if you go out east or out west to like Deadwood, there's a bunch out there. Deadwood for sure is one of them. But yeah, Deadwood, it's firmly stuck. It's a bunch out there Deadwood. That's one of them. Yeah, but yeah Deadwood. It's firmly stuck It's kind of dope when you go there like you're on a I don't know it is where it all happened Like nothing has changed its butt up and get that mountain. What you guys you don't know the war ended No, they don't nor do they care bunch of guys upset they change the name of Harney P

all wars Veteran of all wars, brother. Basically, what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Or third to first, as it were. With that in mind, Dave, what would the order of today's draft be? I'm gonna go David Ian Shaw. Let's mix it up.

Hot corner. Maybe it'll warm me up a little bit. I'm gonna go David Ian Shaw. Ooh, right in the back. Let's mix it up. Hot corner, maybe it'll warm me up a little bit. I'm chilly. Ooh. It's because you're ill. I got the chills. They're multiplying. Are you sure you're not a vampire after you saw Nosferatu?

Maybe it turned you into a vampire. Well, this is the beginning of the process that turned them all into vampires, if I remember correctly. They just got sick. So I might not. If I remember correctly, it was like three hours ago. They got sick

and did like a C plus podcast. What happened? What happened? They got sick and did a C plus podcast that turned them into vampires? And he's an A plus podcast. I'm saying this episode. No, all of us. This episode.

I'm not coming after you. This rules. Nobody's on top of it. No, not one of us. I'm having a good time. I'm having a great time too, but not as good of a time as anyone of us top of it. No, not one of us. I'm having a good time. I'm having a great time too, but not as good a time as I would have had at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico with the suite with the Jacuzzi in the room.

But this is good. This is just fine. This is great. A baby puked in my eye within the last 24 hours. Not a baby, your baby. My baby, which is our baby. His baby's a baby. Yes, it is.

I'm combative because my mom's here, I think. She's a last word person. Now let's get into it. Yeah, let's open it up. How do you feel about that? It's tough. It is tough. Now what are some situations where that

makes itself evident? Oh my God, she asked what... Okay, this isn't, okay, we're driving by, we're leaving the airport and she just looks out, this shouldn't bother me. This is adorable. She looked out and she sees a building, it was the Embassy Suites on Airport Way,

it's like six stories, clearly a hotel, and she looks at, she's like, what is that? And I'm like, I don't know, man, it's a building. Like, I don't know how to answer it, you know? And then she thinks I'm being rude when I go, what's a hotel, you know? And she's like, well, I don't know, man, it's a building. Like, I don't know how to answer it, you know? And then she thinks I'm being rude when I go, what's a hotel, you know? And she's like, well, I didn't know, I'm just asking. You were just answering the question.

I know, she gets mad. She thinks I'm rude. Were you smarting off a little bit, though? Yeah, that's a good question. You had a little, even when you relayed the story, you had a little base in your voice. It's hard to not, It's hard to not. I can tell because you're whispering.

Because you've been a big city boy for like 15 years now. All right. Yeah. Sure have. Are you tipping fat wearing fucking rattlesnake boots? I don't know if she thinks you do. Embassy suites back there in Sioux Falls. We don't. We have a Holiday Inn. It's seven stories though.

Are they indoor jacuzzis? Cause they got indoor jacuzzis at Embassy Suites. They got a jacuzzi at the Holiday Inn in Sioux Falls. All right. See, now we're climbing up to A plus. Let's keep it going. Yeah, for sure. Where do you go to school?

That's some alternative school ass grading scales. Just fuck it. Just fuck it, you go to class at the portables, if that's what you think. I remember driving. That's some alternative school ass grading skills You go to class with the portables if that's what you Classes you drive by the old school They're just in the parking lot. You're like, what are they? What are they doing? It's they're just in the parking lot being at school, but they never went to class Oh, man, I remember kids would tell us stories where they'd be like, oh, I like because Frontier was our alternative school And they'd be like, yeah, yeah, like you Frontier was on alternate school, and they'd be like, yeah, like you could smoke cigarettes.

And I was like, you can smoke cigarettes at school? Yeah. You shouldn't. No, you can't. Like if you gotta do it. That's how you know they came up on you. Sneak off, you shouldn't be allowed to do that. That shouldn't be something people are like,

I don't care if you smoke, I mean, I do. I want you to be healthy, but like, you should learn to hide it. Yeah. We would do it in middle school and I would just stare at the teachers. I'd be across the street staring at them. Yeah. It was insane.

I look back on it. It's insane. I have to say, you're standing on a skateboard, moving your head back and forth. This is, this is when I was still down, down on the set. This is before all that. Oh shit. Yeah.

Picture it. Do you picture it? Picture 11, 12 year old me standing there, cripped out across the street, smoking like John Travolta in Broken Arrow and just staring at the teachers. I feel like you must have made a teacher quit. Like they were like, no, no, this doesn't work. No, the whole thing's broke. These kids are fucking kids out here dressed like Snoop Dogg, smoking a cigarette, Snoop

Balls. It starts at home. I can't fix that. You're right. My dad was right. I'm going to be a Dogg, smoking a cigarette. Snoop. It starts at home. I can't fix that. My dad was right. I'm going to be a financial planner. This was dumb. I do have I do know how to weld. Oh, teach the kids. I thought, you know, oh, I can change the system from the inside.

No. You heard like that guy quit teaching, worked at Goldman Sachs and it really caused the financial crisis. That's because of you. Yeah. Yeah. Now I can't get a house. Wall Street. Yeah, it is. Huh? That's because of you. Yeah. Yeah. Now I can't get a house. That's on Wall Street? Yeah, it is. Huh? That's on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs? Money never sleeps on Wall Street.

Eligibility. Wall Street too. Eligibility. I'm just saying it right. Eligibility. Idiot. Oh my God. Eligibility. Eligibility. Eligibility. Oh my god eligibility eligibility

What the fuck were we talking about Isaac who are we what do we do this is all fantasy everything the podcast We fantasy dress anything and everything from the world of pop culture. Oh We didn't all just get a rub down from 11 people available Love a night episode you get loopy. It gets funny. Have you guys ever have you ever been to a my dad? My dad Feels pretty good your dad Mm-hmm. That's that's that's yeah, that's a tough story to hear I've never been to a I've sat outside of a love sex addicts anonymous sex and love addicts anonymous That's the one that I'm a part of Who just broke up with someone That's the one that I'm a part of. That's the one. With a cup against the door. You're late to get laid.

Who just broke up with someone? Oh goody goody. Oh goody goody gumdrop. People walking by you're like it's fun if you listen. Yo, I forgot people used to say goody goody. You brought that back? I'm bringing it, I'm really trying to say goody goody. You brought that back? Yeah, dude. I'm bringing it. I'm really trying to bring it back in 2025. Goody goody gumdrops.

Ooh, goody goody gumdrops. I said gumdrops. Yeah, he said, he said. Oh, no. They did. They did. All right. Nah, nah, nah.

Nah, no, you didn't. Must well. That's why nobody wants to jerk you off in a... Well, we'll get to that first pic of things to do when you're sick, which is David's right after this short break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, we got a new year, Year of Our Lord 2025,

and it's a blank canvas. That's what we always look at it, right? Like it's a blank canvas. You can start to create new things. You can do all those things you never wanted to do. You can tackle your resolutions. And on that list, if you're a person, which you are if you're listening to this,

unless there's dogs, sometimes maybe an animal listens, but if you're a person, I bet you at some point you've wanted to go to therapy. Give it a shot. This year's the year to try it. There's a lot going on, so it can't hurt. You're gonna need to talk to therapy. Give it a shot. This year's the year to try it. There's a lot going on. So you can't hurt. You're going to need to talk to someone. It's just a good thing to get a new set of ears on your problems. You don't want to make your partner sit and listen

to it because they got to sleep next to you. You don't want to make your friends do it because they got to go bowling with you. Get some new ears on your problems. Have somebody teach you how to work through these things on your own. How to set boundaries, how to learn coping skills, all that stuff. Just how to be the best version of yourself. Just honestly, even if it's just that you want to talk to someone, go do it. Alright, give it a shot. And if you're going to give it a shot, try BetterHelp. It's online.

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It's all natural, right? Oh yeah, that was natural. Yeah. That's what you say every time you go, hey, hey. Goodie, goodie. Have you guys been excited? It was a long week. Did your dad get up and talk?

Because isn't that anonymous? Are you not supposed to bring? Or is it okay to go as long as you don't dish? It depends on if it's an open meeting or a closed meeting. If it's an open meeting, then you can bring whoever you want. Yeah, they I don't think there was anything anonymous about this. There was all kinds of people. But yeah, he talked. I can't remember what he said.

I blocked it out. But no, probably. We have coffee and cigarettes, man. It's that it's crazy because you're just like, OK. So they're just not like it's bad. But those are the two things you lean on. Sure. It's like coffee. No, it's you know, whatever whatever gets you through drink. I'm not gonna Know that's a thing like sugar like a lot of like alcohol. Yeah, like just really go hitting sugar

How do you transfer coffee or candy or something? And then? Like it wasn't that religious. I mean the whole thing is based on religion But it was more just people like, you know getting right like that guy in the beginning Of the town. There's my Eskimo right there. Yeah Yeah, I gotta admit I didn't get the reference. I don't remember the beginning of the town. That's right You didn't sharpen your pencil today like I did. That's fine. I came to work That's nothing you do dry, right? Yeah Scream medical That's that thing you do dry, right? Yeah. Sharpening your pencil? I scream at it.

I go, are you ready? Then I sharpen it. Waaah! Max, you want to draw? Oh. That song will get you there. I was making a masturbation reference, but that clearly, you never sunk in. Otherwise you wouldn't have, you know.

Sorry. We'll be right back from another break. Isaac, just play like some cocktail music. Oh, wait. It's playing. It's playing. Something like that? All right.

And we're back. Welcome back to All Fans Say Everything. David, time for your first pick. We're drafting things to do when you're sick. Quit smoking. Oh, interesting. Weed or cigarettes, whenever I'm sick, I'd never wanted to smoke any of that shit and it was like I You know, yeah

But if you want to take like a break or something getting six a great way to jumpstart that cuz you never feel like it Even if you smoke a bunch of weed, even if you smoke a bunch of weed I feel like when you're sick, it's like, no, thank you. Cause you already kind of feel that heaviness. Yeah, I never wanted to pile being stoned on top of. I've definitely puffed a cigarette too when I'm sick and it's the dumbest, most hurtful feeling thing. Yeah.

Your throat hurts and you're like. We do and it's like, it's just a good reason to be like, cause then after you're sick, you're like, I haven't smoked weed in three days or whatever, man. Right, like you come out of it a little bit more pout. Has it ever stuck? Like have you ever kicked cigarettes or anything like that on a-

I mean, I don't really smoke cigarettes anymore. Yeah, true. And I don't really smoke much weed anymore. It's never, it's never, I mean, ultimately you quit when you want to, but if you, if you were like smoking a lot, I've had it where I was smoking a lot of weed then I quit for like two, three weeks after I was sick

because I just didn't want to because I was sick. Yeah. I used to love quitting weed for a while, so much, but only because I'm like, when I come back. Yeah. Oh, when you do that, did you ever do that thing where when you come back, you like prep that day? You're like, okay, I gotta get to the store.

I gotta get, I gotta get, I gotta get some passion fruit juice. I gotta get some crackers. Weird choices, like what are they, what's the newest gummy? What's the gummy I would never get myself under any other, not even weed gummy, like store Fred Meyer gummy. Oh yeah.

He didn't take breaks, but he would prep all the time. Zach, he would prep. I remember when he'd put the bong in the freezer and he just forgot it one day and it broke. And I was like, oh no, it's gonna be tough, a tough day. For him, oh, was it his bong or my bong? It was yours. I forget. Oh, there you go, it's bong you had.

I was just thinking, oh man, what's it doing in the freezer? That's where we lost LeBong James. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And like you're doing the thing that's gonna make you forget that you put it in the freezer. So it's just self critiquing.

By the way, shout out to Bong names. My buddy had one named Bongersman Kron Paul. Hilarious. That's fucking great. And Bongsy Wells and LeBong James. Those are the only two we had. Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, my buddy Grant,

he turned his whole closet into a bong. Like mousetrap almost. His whole closet was just a bong. How'd he do that? Like tubes all over the place? All tubes, everywhere, tubes and duct tape. Drilled a hole in his door? No, he had to open the door,

but you had to open the door and the whole thing, I mean it wasn't a huge closet, but it was a closet and the whole thing was a big bong. It was insane. What's he do now? Is he like an engineer or nothing? We lost touch. I'm He actually designed the cyber truck He kept going Likely where you're like, oh, yeah

He like lives in his parents still or like yeah, dude, he he lives in a six million dollar house in Phoenix Which is also a bomb. Which is also a bomb. Yeah, you just upgraded. You kept doing it. Nice, quit smoking. Yeah, that's a, my life gets worse after this. Yeah, mine's not all that great.

A lot of mine are just like literally just things I do on sick days. Yeah, that's fine. Wait, David, did you have this pic before I started talking about sobriety or is this just like a happy coincidence? Oh, this was like one of the first things I ever had I used to I it's like happened several times since being a teenager where I've been just yeah, I got sick and not Nice not one smoke weed outdoors and I I fucking never smoke weed, dude. I'm fucking lame.

No. Good though. No. It's cool. It's cool. Yeah, right? Even when I do. Not likely to be smoking all the time. Even when I do now, I'm like, I don't. It's cool for like 20 minutes and then I'm like, I'd rather not be doing this. Yeah. Well, you know, there are a lot of different reasons

to smoke weed. Definitely one of them that I did it for was to escape The unhappiness of my life when you get a little happier That reason is I'm coming back when I'm old though, by the way, though. I want to get it I want it don't worry about that. I want it to be a chapter at some point. I want to Sean You're not cool enough grow up. It's not for you I'm sorry. You didn't even jack off at Nosferatu.

Yeah. Yes, I did. Of course I did. He jacked off at Sonic. He's trying to impress you. Knuckles, huh? That gives me an idea. Anyways, yeah, quit smoking. Yeah. Oh, man. Anyways, yeah, Chris Morgan. Yeah. Oh, my first pick. Okay. I'm taking something. Everyone at this is also because this feels sort of all encompassing so if if any of your picks involve this.

They're still in play, but I'm taking making a couch bed. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, really leaning into it. Just digging in. Sometimes somebody will do it for you when you're sick. Like sometimes your mom would do it when you were a kid. Sometimes your partner will do it for you.

Sometimes you gotta take it upon yourself. But I'm talking about like- Burrito style. You bring a sheet out there. You bring bed pillows out there. You bring bed pillows out there. You bring the comforter and you like really tuck in. You're like, ah, dig yourself in. I got a new couch.

I got a new couch. Ooh, baby. You did? No more mid-century modern? No more low to the ground, understuffed, uncomfortable. Let's go. Pocket full of memories. My man with the Joybird.

Sure. We went, we got this shit off Macy's, where they got some good deals on couches. Is it an L? All right, dad. They got some good deals on couches. Oh no, yeah, I took the L. It's an L.

Yeah. Oh, I love it. And then we have an ottoman that's level with the couch. We slide it over. You're, I mean, you're cooking, dude. It is the best. Come on, how much better do you feel? I feel amazing. I feel so much better. It's it's one of those things where I'm like

Why don't I love myself enough to have done this sooner? I don't I can't dwell on it I can't fucking shit about that couch for Six years it sucks my mom talks shit about it My mom was like I can't sit on that couch because I can't get out of it like I could barely get out of it It was not a great couch. It was not a good look. Good. It did look good. It was a nice couch that we sat on couches and then I sat on couches. Would have thought I would have been a little bit more utilitarian

about the whole thing. Well, here's the thing. When you first get some money, you're like, oh, it's expensive. It must be a great couch. Right. It's right. It costs as much as like my now much bigger, much more comfortable L couch. Dana's mom is a real estate agent and has a hookup

because you stage houses and all that stuff. She has a hookup at Macy's. It's a sectional. We can like, we've got another section. You're not allowed to just buy one section. Type the price into the chat. Type the price into the chat. I don't even know.

I was like for the all day, it was a $2,000 affair. And we just got a whole other section sent to us. Popped it right in. It's amazing. This couch that we got, the first couch I ever got that wasn't like passed down from Flophouses. All the other couches that I ever had,

like in a crib that I lived in, they were all like, you could see if you pulled the arm Cloth back you'd see where the cigarette smoke didn't get to and it's like a whole different color You do that you're like, oh dog, it's gotta have couch bugs or whatever The first couch at the fortress was a Brian Posey's old leather couch. I remember that thing like comedian the comedian Sticky bastard Brian Duran actually I slept on that sticky bastard. Just from Brian Duran, actually. I slept in just my underwear, so close. Oh, I bet you did.

I hate the feeling of waking up on a leather couch. I was sticky and cold. You feel like you just got taken advantage of. I woke up, nobody else was up. It was like seven in the morning. You're like, oh. You like, bundle a blanket up around you? Yeah.

LA was a strange place to me at the time. It was very daunting. I was just visiting. I'm like, what what does one do? I guess you just sleep on a leather couch and hook up with redacted. This is true. Yeah. Yeah, it was a rapper named Redacted. Couch, just making a couch bed. It's great. It makes all these other activities

that I'm not gonna mention so much better in a second. Do you ever notice the good thing about the couch bed is when the temperature fluctuates, sometimes you're inside, sometimes you're on top. Oh yeah, you can kick that comforter off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take the pillows off, so I take the pillows off the L and then I sleep.

I do, I got a bad marriage, so I have a whole, I have a whole method for this. It's falling apart. I probably once a week I'll sleep on the couch just because I'll get home late and I'm like, I don't want to wake you up, I want a solid night. So I do it, I do it a lot. Full night?

Yeah. Full night sleep. I don't see the point, like if I get home at midnight one, what's the point, go wake her up. You also love a couch sleep. Yeah, I love it. This serves two masters. Yeah, this is, this serves two masters. No, this is why I'm like, I sleep, I sleep great on that couch.

Great. And then Max wakes up and I'm right there and Laura can sleep in. Like I hear Max before she does. It's, you know, yeah. I am waiting though, if she ever comes out and be like, why on the couch? We gotta tackle that.

When do you think I will be able to sleep in again? Every day yeah, I I think You know around it sounds crazy, but like 18 months is that steady. I know it sounds crazy. It sounds insane. You will get into a sleep pattern, but around that is when I found that she started sleeping through the night, which is, what time does old Artie Pants go to bed?

Well, he doesn't really go to bed yet, huh? Not really. So, you know, you base, like Max goes to sleep at like 8.30, so she don't get up till like yet, huh? No, not really. You base, like Max goes to sleep at like 8.30. So she don't get up till like nine. And we're night folk, so. My wife goes to bed at 8.30 though. That's Laura would have her, if she had her druthers,

which I said, when we got married, you can't. But she would go to bed around nine too. Yeah. I'm a rock star, bro. I'll go to bed at two in the morning. I don't give a shit, dude. You party like a rock star. I'm a rock star, bro. That's what your T shit, dude. You party like a rockstar. I'm a rockstar, bro.

That's what your T-shirt says. I party like a rockstar. It does. Little rail on it. I can't read this. Yeah. Chad Kroger on it. Little Beach, South Carolina.

If you could read this, Chad Kroger fell off. Yeah, dude. He couldn't hang up. He's doing blow at the previous bar, bro. Sean, time for your first and second picks YouTube rabbit hole. Oh Very nice. It's you know, I do you guys treat YouTube like TV these days? Yes. No, like I just watch I Watch so I've been watching lately problem is my shit gets polluted

I've been watching people beat old video games quickly. I just watched before recording. You're watching speed runs. Uh-huh, I just watched someone beat Mario 3 in like eight minutes, but right before I recorded this. Wild. It's fun, but I mean, I'll just click on so much. I get in that Mojo box office shit where they're like, you know, top 20 movie bloopers

that you didn't know were there or whatever. I love it. I think it's a blast. Yeah, mine gets a darker twist. You're not, I have a lot of food videos still. Why everybody's really against Drake's weird shit like that. Oh no. I've been watching a lot of Vlad. Oh, because of the $400 million deal.

What is it? I don't wanna talk about it. It's just not worth even going. Okay, okay. I like the old rap, when it was all I listened to with Corrupt and the Dog Pound, I'll watch tons of stuff on Vlad, all their backstories about how gnarly Shug Night really was. Shit, I mean, I sit for hours and do that.

I love it. No judgment. It seems to be a very popular pastime. I only really enjoy the YouTube past, like rabbit hole when other people are around. I still like really enjoy that. Well that was the most fun thing, is passing the controller.

God, that was fun. But it's the way of the future, man. YouTube for sure, like. I know. Yeah. Might see more of us on there soon. And there's a period there. What'd you say?

I said you might see some more of us on there. We might have had a talk. That should be a good idea. It'd be tough to go down there and not get hammered all the time. I'm gonna have to work on myself. We're gonna show a whole on YouTube. I'm gonna have to work on myself.

That episode we did in Denver, somebody's, somebody, why did somebody say there like, white boy's face is too red or something? It was crazy. That mandelklipp and I'm like, it's red. Yeah, that mandelklipp has really caught contraction. It's everywhere.

All I did was laugh. And so many people in the comments called me out and I'm like, yeah, man, I'm sorry. Yeah. It was hilarious. Yeah. And your second pick. Baths.

I just took a bath. I got out eight minutes ago, probably How different is that? Then what you were gonna do today? Anyways when I I don't do it a lot because I don't have I don't take the time to sit there for like an hour Anymore, but yeah today like it it helps like I you know, you fill the bath up It just helps I feel like it does maybe just placebo, but it feels like it loosens my chest, you know? I think it does.

Yeah. Would you say you're a saverer of baths? Not as much as I would like to be. The water goes away quicker than it should for- It does, okay. Yeah, we used to have, at the old crib, we had a big cloth wet tub. I was in there, I mean, I was doing business in there.

I'd sit in there forever, because it was huge. It was like a party. This one is more of like a Super 8 size, doesn't fit the big body as well. You know, it'll fill up and cover my chest hair so they look like a bunch of sea anemones, but then the drain, like it drains down to my belly button and then I'm just like cold.

I got a top layer cold. I love that feeling. That's the drop, oh, the hairy mean. Yeah. I thought you meant the drop down in the water cuz that's like But then when it's drain and I'll turn the shower on cuz I always take a shower after I bathe as you are soaking in your own filth Yeah, you're not like do you are you bath salts bath bombs? Yeah, I got that bombs. I got bath salts

I'll bring my laptop set it on the toilet. You ever turn the light off in there. I do I'll light a candle I Didn't today, but my wife this like eucalyptus stuff that I think you'd really dig I'll bring my laptop, set it on the toilet. You ever turn the light off in there? I do, I'll light a candle. I didn't today, but I'll do it. I got my wife this eucalyptus stuff that I think you'd really dig. I don't bath, but she baths. You got my address, light it up. All right.

Call the hood, same number, same crib, it's all good. How's it go? Yeah, that's, you just did it. Kinda. Relax. Baths. Yeah, baths. Billy baths over here. I can't get enough. They do loosen up the Yeah, kinda. Relax. Bads. Yeah, bads. Billy Bads over here.

I can't get enough. They do loosen up the situation, they're nice. And like, when you're sick, you're home, you have a little more time. In hotels, I've done it after various comedy festivals we've been at. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh, just get in there, fill that ice bucket. If I've ever got a bath big enough, I still just struggle, I almost never encounter a bath big enough, I still just struggle. I almost never encounter a bath big enough for a man of my carriage. You gotta go to like Scamania Lodge or something where they have those Jacuzzi. Yeah, you gotta go to a place that's like,

we do bathtubs, bro. Like you have to. It's got jets. Yeah. Those are, I'll sit, I'll find a way to watch the TV from those. Like, you know, they always have one, the car to turn it around, put a mirror up,

you can get that. Right in your neck? Mm-hmm. Time for my second pick. Whatever. I'm gonna watch the TV from those. You know, they always have one, the card, turn it around, put a mirror up, you can get that. Crank your neck? Mm-hmm. Time for my second pick. Whatever. Fuck you, dude. That's taken.

I'm taking watching whatever is on. Yeah. Oh yeah, like you don't even have the energy to. Don't even, I can't make a choice. I don't wanna flip around. This one dates back to childhood, obviously. Oh my, daytime TV, baby. Daytime, the Price is Right make a choice. I don't want to flip around. This one dates back to childhood. Oh my daytime TV, baby. The Price is Right is a big.

Maury, Montell. Sally, Jessie Ruffiel. Jenny Jones, that was a good one. This like the sports reporters or whatever weird thing with like, I think that was Sunday mornings, but like you would watch the sports centers in the morning and then you'd be like, Oh, Duquesne is playing like so and so at lacrosse.

I guess I'll watch some of that, like whatever weird ESPN stuff you'd watch. Remember ESPN classics? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Watching Jim Kelly. Yeah. You're watching George Foreman fight some guy called the Polish pound cake. If you can get in the middle of a 30 for 30. Oh, it is. I got the four, the four flops of Buffalo or whatever the other night, the middle Laura sat down and she's like, wait, they didn't win the last one.

I go, no, dude. And it was, oh, a heartbreak. I love it. Yeah. I have YouTube TV now and I still will like every now and then I'm just like, let's, I will watch a movie that I know Is on streaming? Wait, you have a TV and you can kind of you can kind of sleep during the commercials. Okay. Okay, so you're saying YouTube TV I thought you're saying YouTube TV like I have it but I'll watch cable instead. I get it No, I will watch like if it's on YouTube TV, which is has commercials, you know, like I will watch

Well that like if you watch like the TNT on YouTube TV, it has commercials, you know, like I will watch, well, like if you watch like the TNT on YouTube TV, it has commercials. Yeah, but I don't mind it. The Rock came on the other day. Same time it was like commercial, I could check my phone. I'm saying, even though I know that's on streaming, like, and I could go watch it on Interrupted, I'll be like, if I'm sick, I'm just like,

yeah, let it play. Yeah, dude. And sometimes you're reminded of something in a commercial. You forgot, you forgot about Sonic, you know? You're sick. Could we engage, there's this feeling that I miss from streaming and that I think like future generations will like never experience where sometimes,

like I used to have panic attacks and when I'd be coming out of a panic attack, sometimes I would watch TV because it makes me feel less alone. Because I'm like, someone put this on. There's a common experience happening here where like if anyone else in the world is watching TNT, it looks like this.

And like, that would help me in a weird way. Look at that with streaming. I used to have panic attacks too. And one time I put on, I don't know why I thought it would help, I put on 1408, the John Cusack movie about a haunted hotel room. Jesus Christ. It threw me into this crazy spiral. and one time I put on, I don't know why I thought it would help, I put on 1408, the John Cusack movie about a haunted hotel room. It threw me into this crazy spiral.

I had to watch like three hours of Family Guy afterwards. Cause I was like, I was like feeling my skin, like dude, what is going on? Like I really, I was out there. I'm just checking on the steady hand of Cusack. I get why you would go to Cusack though. I get why you would go to Cusack cause. I get why you would go to Cusack. Cause you were like, maybe I don't wanna watch

High Fidelity and associate that movie with this feeling. But let me hang out with my boy John. I like Johnny, man. You get America's Sweethearts, you get some Serendipity. There's some easy watchers. 1408, not one of them. David, time for your second and third picks. Gross point blank.

No, wait. Oh, I have back to back, that's right. Put a bull in your head and third picks. Gross point blank. No, wait. Oh, I have back to back, that's right. Put a bull in your head and fuck the brain hole. All right, Sean, please don't. That's what Dan Aykroyd says. Oh, okay, next one. This is weird, but it works for me. Cause when I'm sick, I a lot of times,

I feel like I can't even engage with TV. Like I'm such a baby about it, you know what I mean? I go down bad. So listen to an entire album. Oh. Yeah, or just like put on title and just put on Nas and start at Illmatic and just kind of sleep. And then by the time like Nostradamus,

I probably have to eat, you know what I mean? Two, three albums. But just like go all the way through. That's great, because also, sometimes you get that kind of sick where your eyes hurt and you don't want to focus on something. That's exactly the problem with TV. And I've found I don't like watching TV with my eyes closed.

Yeah. Like I don't like just, something about it is not, I don't like it. I think it appeals to your lizard brain, where you're like, what's going on? The record or something, I don't like weird. I something about it. I is not I don't like you I think it appeals to your lizard brain where you're like, what's going on? What's going on the inevitable I'll put it on with no sound sometimes in a hotel Maybe one of those festival weekends when I wake up and I immediately need some light for whatever reason, you know But I never have the sound on Yeah Yeah, but no, yeah, listen to it. Listen to a whole album or discography rather

It's like it's also like, you know, what's going on because also you you know, you're like in and out so much Yeah, you are ideally you're like passing in and out of consciousness. Yeah, and like I'm not Sean I don't take a bath, but I take a shitload of showers when I'm sick So it's kind of like it's like so many showers. Yeah, I guess now the bath's on, like there's no point taking showers. But me too, I'm a hot, long, like hot, long shower. Because sometimes it's all I could do. Like when I got COVID a few months ago, it was like, the first day, it was like,

it was like the one thing I could do to like kind of switch it up, you know? Yeah, you're like, this is a different feeling. You almost feel refreshed a little bit. Did it hit you pretty bad? What'd it feel like? Oh, that first day was, I was down bad. But then the second day I was all right,

and by the third day I was good to go. But that first day, I couldn't do nothing. What's that 5G? Yeah, thanks God. I've never had it bad. You haven't? I have it right now, uh-uh. I've had it twice and it was both, they were a breeze.

The first time I had it, not like the worst, but like pretty unpleasant. Yeah. Definitely like had to lay down. Yeah, I was out, the first day I was out. I was out fully. I just quarantine and watched Get Back. I quarantined in this room thinking thinking we're just like, whatever,

go quarantine. And then a day later, Laura comes over. She's like, max has it. I'm sure. So just come out. I was like, I got a whole day out of it though. It was pretty tight. Uh, yeah, I understand the appeal of that now. I would love to help, but I can't. And, you know, could you please keep the baby? Could you keep it down? I'm trying to recover from COVID over here. I'm the baby now.

She would leave my lunch outside the door and I'm like, I prefer the bathtub, but I'll take what I can get. David, your third pick. This one is weird, but I swear to God, something about the difference, I don't know why, sleeping on the floor. What? Okay, yeah. I like to sleep on the floor when I'm sick.

Sometimes you're in the bed too long. Yeah, like it's like, it's almost like you're in the bed. I don't know how to explain it. It's like, it's like your body gets used to sleep. Your body knows you're sleeping extra and you're in the bed and it like wants to like, it's like your body gets used to sleep. Your body knows you're sleeping extra and you're in the bed and it like wants to like, it's like no more bedtime. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? But you still need to sleep. So yeah, I'll get to, definitely. Especially after a shower. Oh yeah. After a shower. Just lay on the bathroom floor. Well like in the bedroom, but like,

cause you know, just yeah, kind of like lay down. Cause the bed gets too soft after a while and then it becomes hot. Also you've been like, unless you've changed the sheets, you've been like sweating into these sheets. And they're not crisp. It's all wrinkly. Yeah, all that really like micro,

like it looks like like crazy crochet paper or whatever. Looks like your fingers in the tub for too long. Yes. Yeah. You'll try to tighten them, but that doesn't work. I do that feeling of just yeah, I like a crisp sheet when I'm sick So yeah, sometimes it's good to just switch it up sleep on the floor Especially after this after the shower because that shower is like you almost feel like you've done something, you know You have for God's sakeieved in a better world for yourself.

Time for my third pick. Oh, this is a esoteric one, but I'm taking it anyway. Feeling sorry for yourself. Yeah, you gotta have that for a minute. Not the whole time. Not the whole time. But a couple hours. Something great about being able to just be like,

oh man, I'm sick. I've been doing it all day. No one's ever been as sick as me. I'm sick, yeah, oh god. I mean, some people have cancer, but besides that, it's me and them. Non-cancer division, it's just me. It's kind of nice to like mope around a little bit,

and then like the flip side of this, or I guess not the flip side, but what happens next is you give yourself little treats. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You have to feel sorry for yourself to allow yourself to take care of yourself. So you're like, you know,

maybe we'll call in, like all that. Yeah, dude. But yeah, feeling sorry for yourself. There's no reason to dwell on this pic. We'll move along with the shots. Yeah. There's no reason to dwell on this pic. We'll move along to shots. I like getting all messed up on sleeping stuff. I'm gonna do it right after this.

What's your drug of choice? I just got some extra stink nyquil and Laura's like, you know the extra, she's got shit, and I'm like, I don't know what's extra bro. I just like, I want the extra, whatever it is. Here's the thing. I don't mind it going in, waking up from that is tough on me. Yeah, I haven't slept in a couple of days. Like the two nights ago, I wasn't really, I was just feeling restless, probably getting sick, but I didn't slept in a couple days. Like the two nights ago, I wasn't really,

I was just feeling restless, probably getting sick, but I didn't really sleep. And then last night I was like just hot. Yeah, I didn't really sleep. So I'm hoping tonight I'll zonk out. Were you pacing around writing lyrics in a little notebook? Yeah, dude. I had big headphones, big beats on.

It's like I'm on the bus. Laura comes out, she's like, where'd you get those beats by Dre? Like I'm doing this for us, queen. Yeah. What if I wrote Gear Crisis-er? I would love if you wrote Gear Crisis-er. I should, and maybe try to fucking rap this time.

It's just about Puma and Lululemon. You can't, there's new rules. Just stop it. But I'm gonna do it like the, are you ready? The new Gear Crisis is about getting an Otis Spunkminer cookie and eating it out of Subway. Damn. They got cookies there.

You're not allowed to do that. Subway cookies are good. You got to go get yourself a Subway dipper. They figured something out with those dippers. They're good. That footlong cookie they've been selling? Uh-huh. Got one with the General in Michigan.

You have a family. It was good. That's what the dipper is? Is the footlong cookie? No. You haven't seen it? They got dippers, too. Oh. They're like long cheesy? They got dippers too. Oh.

They're like long, they're just like long cheesy rolls. They're just, they're dope. I gotta, I gotta, I'm gonna say something controversial. I may never eat at Subway again for the rest of my life. That's the bold take, man. That is. I just don't know when it would happen. Some places only have a Subway.

There's a Subway right down the street from where I'm at right now, from my house. You're stuck in Omaha on a layover. Also, road trips, man. Yeah, road trips. Yeah, it is a healthier option on road trips. Road trips is really where it'll get you. Is subway like loosely healthy if you do it right?

I mean, it's jam packed with sodium, but I think you can do it right. Like a meatball marinara is not really good for you. I wouldn't do that if you were looking to be healthy, right? Yeah. But like at some spinach, green peppers, and turkey. At least you're having veggie. Yeah, and all that stuff I've seen you put on your Subway.

I, for sure, dude. I do it when I'm at Subway. I don't like it, but I do it. I don't like doing it. It's visible when I don't. You always worry about Subway. Everything tastes so much the same. Veggie Delight really doesn't taste

that much different than anything else. No, it's pretty similar. You put enough vinegar on it, and it's just like, it's just, then it gets a little too wet. You know how I feel about that shit. This tastes like Chipotle. Yeah, getting messed up on sleeping stuff.

I do love the dark black sleep promised by Nyquil. I will indulge every now and then. You're in a weird, I don't know. I, and I don't do it anymore. I took sleeping pills for like, just as over the counter, but I mean, probably, you know, year, seven, eight years probably.

Seven or eight years probably. Seven or eight. How many, how many, you had eight years of adjubalility. Adjubalility, yeah, dude. Are we all on sleeping pills? Is that what's going on? I don't know what's happening.

I wasn't even really tired until I got up here. No. Ain't that how it goes? You ever get those early flights where you're like, I'm never tired at 7 p.m. until I know I gotta get up at three to go to the airport. And then I'm tired at 7 p.m. I just do what I'm gonna do and sleep on the plane.

Yeah, same. That's how I do it. So it's like, if I'm gonna go to bed at one, I'm gonna go to bed at one, I'll wake up at five, and then I'll just sleep on the plane. That's where I've gotten. So it's like if I'm gonna go to bed at 1 I'm gonna go to bed at 1 I'll wake up at 5 and I'll just sleep on the plane That's where I've gotten. Taking turns yawning. No!

Serpentine yawn. Sean, we're gonna get to your fourth pick, but first we're gonna take another short break. I don't want to take a break. And we're back. We took a break. Isaac, do we take a break? We sure did. We took a break. We absolutely did. Who cares? Sometimes you have to do stuff that you don't want to do.

Appreciate it. You're nice like that. I love you. I love you, man. Well, nice in the way that it's like, hey, man, you know, harsh lessons about life, bro. I'm a dad now. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you brought it up.

This guy whose album is girl dead. It was going to call his boy. That is where he was going to call a boy. That my next one I'm going to call boy dead. Oh, what was it? Goodie, goodie, boy. Goodie, goodie, boy. Yeah, I think that that I don't think you want people to Google that. No, no, I think or or do it.

I might open up a whole new market. Send us a screen check. Literally. I'll be one of those on OnlyFans comedians with my Goodie Goodie Boy Dad album. You know, they're not showing whole, they're just doing comedy on there. No, I know, I know.

But it's, they've offered it to a certain kind of comedian. You know, one who might make people think that they are making on OnlyFans. They want you to think, yeah, they want you to think it's a possibility. Nobody's hitting me up. Yeah, nobody's knocking down my door. No one's hit my inbox.

Sean.Jordan187 if you're listening to OnlyFans. Carmel, you wanna do an OnlyFans set? Oh, oh, I think that's not in the best interest of anybody. I remember the rollout when they were first doing it. People would have to be like the, the press or the promo would have to be like, did you guys know I'm on OnlyFans? Doing comedy, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Doing comedy. And a lot of very funny comedians on there. Oh yeah. I mean, there's 5 million comics on there. There's funny comedians under a rock. Yeah, that and count. And a lot of very funny comedians on there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's five million comics, so there's funny comedians under a rock. Yeah, that's true. I can't even get hooked onto the frigging rock. Bees, guys.

I'm trying to get hooked onto the rock. I gotta go to E-Rock if I want to do stand up. Dwayne, throw me a bone. There he is. Yeah. He'll be at the Golden a bone. There he is. Yeah. He'll be at the Golden Globes. Oh yeah, he will. Can I go?

Sean, time for your fourth pick. No. Ha ha! How many things would have to happen for you to get me in? To the Golden Globes? Yeah. Is it possible? Feel like it's like a Johnny English kind of situation.

Yeah, what would have to happen? You'd have to end up somehow writing for Nikki between now and then and you're very funny So like you could but you don't have a lot of experience with like monologue style jokes Leave that out when you pitch it to her. All right. Yeah, leave that part out. In fact lie about it It's an insane writing stuff Yeah, it's like take this off there if you want Okay, so, uh, I, okay, you can leave this part in, like, it's an insane writing stuff because like not a lot of stuff.

There's not a lot of stuff in production right now. So there's all these like super funny people who are just like, shit, I'll do, I'll go do like two weeks work on something, you know, like that. Now this part. All right. Getting all messed up on sleep stuff in your fourth pick. I'll go ahead and beat off quite a bit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

You never cease to amaze me. Puts you in a good mood. You're just sitting there, you know? Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it a lot. You get three, four out of a good day. I guess it depends on how sick you are. Yeah, I mean, but like.

That's one thing that never crosses my mind when I'm. Yeah. That's when I know I'm back. Yes. But then I'm like, oh, okay, okay, I'm feeling better. But like during. I'm probably, oh, okay, okay, I'm feeling better. But like during? I'm probably, I'm pulled out of the driveway. I'm probably gonna be driving down the street

in 20, 30 minutes, however much longer we got. You're gonna drive down the street and beat off in your car while you're sick? No, it was a metaphor. I was just saying, I pulled the truck out of the driveway. Oh, I see. Sorry. Sorry, that was crazy.

I'm gonna have to. Your house full of family? Why you gonna do it in your car? Hey, I gotta... Because your house is full of family right now. That's what I thought you meant. I did use to, so my dad's apartment did not have a room for me, so I would go

lay on the floor in the bathroom and do it. Because I was so bored and bummed out that I was there sometimes, where I'd be like whatever, I'll kill ten minutes. Just laying on the bathroom floor. Yeah. Do you know what take a shower? It's like that Shaggy song.

I couldn't take a shower because it'd be like middle of the day. I'm like, dad, I'm gonna go take a shower. Would have seemed crazy. And plus we were really- You didn't know you were going to beat off? Well, we were really tight like that. I was nervous around him.

So I didn't want it, you know, I was like nervous taking showers there. It gets sad, but I'm just saying. Yeah, that wasn't, I liked it better when taking showers there it gets sad, but I'm just saying I like to better when you're jerking off in your car away from me. Yeah, go for it spin around the block your cough, dude I've done it plenty of times you guys say you've never done it speakers. You never done it in your cars Jaded in the car. No. Yeah, I got all those cars I had Well, that's true. I bet I've done it 50 times in the car. No road trips. I Got some in the Chevy Lumina a few times,

but now I've never really beat off in a car. I too have received a helping hand, but not my own. Never once have I received a helping hand. It's always been a solo-dolo show in the car for me. Well, why, you know, if you can do it yourself, why leave it to somebody less qualified? Hey man, if it ain't broke. A little dry rub on it, a little Louisiana dry.

If it ain't broke, don't beat it. Do beat it if it ain't, whatever. dry rub on it. Little Louisiana dry. Bro, don't beat it. Yeah. Do beat it if it ain't, whatever. Just caress it with that. My fourth pick. Ha ha! I'm taking going to bed at five. Oh.

Like when it's still light out there? Or like six. Like literally when the sky starts to, like when it's like, twilight. Going to bed at like twilight. i love that feeling of going to bed on a mission that's how i feel that's how i felt this last covid one where i was like all right it's seven o'clock i'm going down i'm i'm not gonna get out of this room till at least seven eight am

yeah and hopefully we're gonna feel but it almost feels like you're going to battle but you're just going to sleep it It's the arena Yeah, I'm like, yeah taking this night quail. I'm like turning this fan on I'm getting come maybe you're fresh Yeah, I got a big old jug of water next to me and we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna get through the night It's just beat off six seven times I can barely move my shoulder. Yeah, now I think something's wrong with my arm Didn't even park the car in the driveway. It's just hazard lights on the street.

It's in neutral in the neighbor's yard. The last three times, dust came out, like LeBron was getting ready to check into a game. Yeah. What do you mean, we're on offense again? No, no, that's a, I know what you mean. And it's like, it's cause it's like, it is a commitment too, cause it sucks.

And you don't sleep that whole cuz it sucks and you don't Yeah, you don't sleep that whole time, but you're like, I'm not leaving this room. I'm done. My day is done Yeah, but just the laying down getting comfy getting warm when you're pretty chilly like you get all nestled in and get warm That's such a feeling. Oh Don't have time for your fourth and then your final picks our fourth pick not talking just Period. Yeah, it's not talking, just period. Yeah. It's not saying anything for like a day, that's crazy. For like 72 hours sometimes. Especially for what we do, it's like, is minimal,

you know what I mean? Somebody comes and checks on you, still bad. And then that's about it. It is, if you get sick on the road or whatever, hung up, whatever it is, if you're ill in any way, and then you just want to like save it. You're like, I need this burst at 8pm. I need to be on for an hour. So I'm just going to sit here. I mean, on the road, I don't talk anyways. Sometimes on the road, it'll be like, you end that late show. Like, let's say it's Friday night, you end late show Friday night.

You don't really talk to somebody besides to like order food or something until you get back to the club the next day You'll get to that thing. Yeah, we're like the only time I talked today was getting an iced coffee Yeah, yeah, what was made sometimes you just don't talk like is that oh man if it's Brother if I don't if you don't have to scan the card to get to the room Oh, yeah, you know what I'm talking about when they have the like when you have to scan the elevator You're like, I gotta come down to the room? Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about? When they have the like, when you have to scan the elevator and you're like, all right, now I gotta come down to the lobby. But anyways, yeah, not talking.

I gotta put on an insane combination of clothing because I'm not dressed. I'm wearing a snow jacket with no shirt underneath. Yeah. No underwear. Basketball shorts. Yeah, no underwear. Crocs, yeah.

Hoping to God you don't see the other comments that is festival in the lobby glasses hairs straight up Have you ever ran into other comics at the lobby when you didn't want to festival only festivals? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was gonna talk I was I was taking a friend up to a room one time and Eric Dodorian got me and it was like, Oh man. And it was like, cause it was like, it was that situation where he's like, I just got to go down, grab her, just get back up. You know what I mean? And then you're like, you're like, we got there and I'm like,

okay, thank God. And then the door opens and the Dorian's just smiling here. Yep. He's just going, Oh, goodie. Who's your friend? How is the Dorian's just smiling here. Yep. He's just going, oh goody. Oh hey David. Goody goody. Who's your friend? How is the Dorian?

I have no idea. Lost him on the way. Man, he's a great, he is a great, he was so fun. Love that guy. Yeah, real funny guy. But yeah, not talking man, that shit like, cause you don't really do it, especially like us, in what we do and not our lives and jobs.

It's kind of crazy things. You don't have to go to work and talk all day. You'd like, there's not a situation. Like I go to the mall and walk around or I go skate or something, you know. And I'm not talking on the phone to anybody when I'm sick. I'm not doing nothing, none of that. None of this podcast bullshit?

Not when I'm sick. Oh, poor Sean. Okay. Sorry, Bob. No, that's podcast bullshit Okay It's all right, I've been hungover mom's rapper up David down here final pick I'm just joking I don't think this is bullshit. We love doing this just so you know, oh Subsisting on liquids. Oh, yeah hydration, bro subsisting on liquids. Oh yeah. Hydration bro. All quids.

It'll be like, it'll be, cause I kinda don't mind it, to be honest. Yeah. Like if I didn't eat that day but I had like three Gatorade zeros and 20 waters or whatever. A little bit of guava nectar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll do a juice, you'll be like, this is kinda like food. I threw a couple liquid IVs at the problem today. I don't know how good they'd they hit but I threw them, you know I heard you're not supposed to do like multiple of those but I don't know shit. I did three. I don't know though I wouldn't do three. I bet you did three because you have all 17 fucking free cases. We got I'm coming at you. I know you got a bunch of them. Shawn sent me so much. I have so much. You motherfucker.

He sent me a poster. I sent David too. With some jelly beans. Yeah, he sent you some other stuff, besides a poster from the tour. Jelly beans and like. I sent you liquid IV, David. A lot of liquid IV.

There was liquid IV in there. There was no liquid IV in there. There was a poster too. I swear, I swear on my mom's life, I filled that up with liquid IV in there. There was no liquid IV in there. There was it was to I swear I swear on my mom's life. I filled that up with liquid IV. I swear to God I'm telling you I believe you I swear to God it got taken to customs That is very frustrating because it was full of liquid IV. Are you serious? Yes. Yes No, I was I swore on my mother's life. Okay. Yeah

I'm not there's no liquid IV in there I filled it to the brim and then I think I put a bag of jelly beans in there, too I think I did the both the same with both. No, I didn't get I what the Okay That's crazy. That's frustrating. I said probably somewhere Somewhere somebody has a bunch of jelly beans, some liquid IV, and your passport. Yeah, dude.

Oh, I'm gonna kill. That's crazy. Well hydrated, satiated in Mexico right now. That sucks, dude. That pisses me off. That really does suck, yeah. There's none. It was taped.

Was it duct taped on both ends? I don't know if I duct tape the other end now that I'm thinking about it. Okay, because I was wondering, because one end was duct taped and the other end was clear taped. That's my fault. So it's like maybe they redid it or something.

No, man, dog, that's upsetting. That is very upsetting. You know what I wonder too though? There was like a rubber band in a Popsicle stick on is real weird. No someone took them But it's not it wasn't open. I I opened it. Well, they might have opened it They might have fallen open they took all that shit and then just taped it shut again. You know what I mean? Damn, that's if you're out there listening show yourself. I was bitching about

I was bitching about it too. Coward. I was bitching about it too a lot. It's hard to. He's just getting like, he could have filled this whole thing up with liquid IV. No, no, no, I was just like, he probably sent it because he's got all those liquid IVs. Hey, if they send you any sugar-free liquid IV, that's the one I'd be the most interested in.

I'll go check after this. Now I'm gonna ship you both some liquid IV. Yeah, right. Separate. Just bring it with you when you come down for whatever reason we might Bring it down right in front of you. I'm a junkie time for my final pick You just did all quids. I'm gonna stay wet But I'm gonna say various soups. Oh

Yeah, a lot soups. Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. A lot of effort. Oh, yeah. Do you just, I microwave them in a bowl. Okay. Yeah, that's, I stove top it. I stove top it. Okay, you do like Progresso? Yeah.

Or Amy's. Low sodium. You know, if you're feeling, yes, yes. Amy's is like the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Low sodium because it's like, listen, I know I'm aware of my blood pressure, so I'm a little more conscious of sodium anyway, even without that. Pretty fucking salty. Some of these canned soups, I guess, they can't make it to 2026, but like,

my God, I've been making a lot of soup lately. Go on. Homemade, like from scratch. I hear you. We're just get like did yesterday. I did this Carrot I like cooked up like carrot onions potato eggplant What else was the last thing in there one other thing like oh cat a cauliflower like cook that all up

Put in some some chicken broth, and then like cooked that for a long time, and then you hit it with the immersion blender. The immersion blender is like, oh, and so many spices. We just got one. Just like cumin, coriander, all this shit, and the immersion blender, you hit it with that, and it turns it all into like a,

basically like a split pea soup, it fucking rules. It's so good. I've been making those. Dana's been craving soup. Soup is his. We's so good. I've been making those Dana's been craving soup So we just got a what's the one with the? In the mixing bowl. Oh We got a kitchen aid and we got a cheap we got a food presser well, we got it from baby girls auntie They they're not cheap, but they will last for decades.

Yeah. That shit's built like a British fighter plane. How heavy it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have a live on the counter. Like we used to move it. I'm like, we need to make this has to be on the counter. This is one of the things I got that one of those, uh, to entice Dana to spend more time at my house when we first dating. Smart. It worked.

It worked. Put her in the web, dude. Now you can't sleep in till mid 2025. Yeah, that's right. Go spy like that. Boy, I could take that Kitchen Aid back. No, that was your pop today. Sean, your final pick?

I like to go through my phone and just look at all the old pictures and videos, maybe clean it out a little bit, but just go deep in there and like, yeah, this shit from like 10 years ago that's still on there, you know, a little trip down memory lane. You're doing this while you're beating off, I understand.

Yeah, dude. Look at me, I look at me though when I was younger. Yeah. Before I had a gray beard, that was a prize piece, bud. Look at that guy. That's Laura, Laura hit me with one of those the other day. We were doing that, we were just sitting

looking at old photos of Max, and in the delivery room, I just like, you know, took a selfie of both of us. She's like, oh, you look so good. She said it with the harsh, with the tone, where I'm like. Oh, like you don't anymore. Come on, I'm trying. A little bit.

I could look better, I get that. You did look good back then. I did, I'm trying a little bit. I could look better, I get that. You did look good back then. I did, I did. I weighed 183 or some shit. Crazy. And I was svelte. I was skating for four hours a day. Iceman, do you have a pick?

Yeah, cuddling with my dog. Oh. Cause dogs get like really protective of you when they sense that you're sick. Yeah, or sad. Or sad and they just cuddle up on you and they just give you all the love. And it's a great time. Our cats don't seem to give a flying fuck

that I'm sick, so. Probably not. And he cuddles, but she cuddles in any weather. Birdman baby. I don't let him in here to be fair't you sleep with the cat in the in the bed on the couch Not on the bed. They sleep at the foot of the bed. Sometimes Laura sleeps She Laura will be boxed in by him and I'm just like she doesn't even move Yeah, I guess I'll come in the bedroom. My dog sleeps underneath my covers with me in my bed

When you say my dog you just mean your friend Steven, right? My dog sleeps underneath my covers with me in my bed. That is gnarly. When you say my dog, you just mean your friend Steven, right? Steven, obviously, Steven. Steven and I are very close. Nice, dude. That's awesome. Well, it's time to wind this sleepy train into the station, I think.

Oh my god, it's 12.30 a.m. Yeah. To recap, David, you took quitting smoking, listening to a whole album or artist Sleeping on the floor not talking and all liquids. I Went second. I took making a couch bed watching whatever is on Feeling sorry for yourself going to bed at twilight and various soups Sean you went last you took YouTube rabbit hole Babs getting all messed up on sleep stuff, beating off in a phone session.

I feel like that was the night that you had to respond to this. That's like a middle schooler whose parents left for the night. I'm not sure that's all that different from your. I've done all that shit on the same day plenty of times, my friends. Well, hey, listen, fun times all around. We had a lot of laughs here.

But happy new year, all family. Thank you for hanging out with us all through 2024. And the fun is gonna continue in 2025, you know what? Big Tings. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcasts, at gmail.com with your picks. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, where there are mailbag episodes,

auction drafts, live episodes, so much. If you enjoy hanging out with us, even more of that over there on the Patreon. What'd he say? That's where we're having a real party over there. We're having fun. We're having a real party over there. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Slack

and the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Mega, Mega Producer, Isaac Lee on the ones and twos. The Benny Blanco of podcasts. And the threes! The threes and the fours. Yeah, I gotta come to one of those parties. On the threes and on the keys, dude.

Hey. I do have a keyboard right in front of me. Alpha-S-T-S. Should we do a version of this podcast where you just sort of play like a jazzy sort of refrain on the piano the entire time? The entire time? For an hour and a half I have to play jazz?

About two hours. No, the entire time. Yeah, two hours. Two hours. Come on, let's be real. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel, shout out to Frankie Osha, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, and more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

Shakrakity. That was a headgum podcast.