All Fantasy Everything - Slang Words You Wish Were Cool Again (w/ Will Miles, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)
Episode Date: May 22, 2019This episode is fetch. Episode Guest:Will Miles @mrwillmiles IG: @mrwillmilesThe All Fantasy Everything Summer Tour is coming to a city near you! Find dates and tickets at... headgum.com/live.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that, you know, had maybe a little gout outbreak in its foot and ankle area and had to drink some NyQuil to fall asleep last night.
Gout break.
Groggy gout break.
Scream, scream, scream, scream.
Gout.
Tonight there's gonna be a gout break.
Gout, gout gonna be a gout break. Gout.
Gout.
Let it all out.
This is what happens when you eat smoked trout and drink.
In IPA.
Yeah, y'all.
What up?
Welcome.
What up?
What about me, Dan Cortez?
Welcome to All Fantasy.
Dude, I'll tell you this. What the fuck is wrong with me this morning? My boy, Swang Chief, what up? Welcome. What up? What about me, Dan Cortez? Welcome to All Fantasy. Dude, I'll tell you this.
What the fuck is wrong with me this morning?
My boy, Swang Chief, this dude, Andy.
Wait, what did you just call him?
Swang Chief.
We all called him Swang Chief.
Swang Chief?
Swang Chief.
Like Wang with an S and then a Chief.
Swang Chief.
So he, Dan, Ian's main boy, Dan Cortez, came to Sioux Falls one time when we were kids.
And when he was doing all those BK commercials, and Swang Chief took a bite of a Whopper and was in a Burger King commercial and got residuals at least until like five years ago.
Because he told me in Phoenix that he was still getting checks for that.
That's hilarious.
That's insane.
I mean, you know, I can't imagine he's got one recently because it hasn't been on the air.
But like he...
He hasn't got one recently either.
Maybe they're in like Turkey.
Who knows?
Who knows?
He just was sinking his teeth into a big old whopper with Dan Cortez being like, how's
that whopper, bro?
Listen, while we're at the top of the episode, we just want to mention.
Great story.
I didn't mean to, you know, I was definitely not finished.
Now, Swang Chief lives in Phoenix.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
I was, it was going to get way better.
It's a great story.
So there he is with Dan Cortese.
Getting residuals.
I just want to mention that All Fantasy Everything is going on tour this summer.
Tour, baby.
All Fantasy Everything Summer Breeze Tour is in full effect.
Yes.
Tickets are on sale now.
Let's just rattle through these dates really quick, shall we?
June 26th, we will be at the Showbox in Seattle, Washington.
My mom used to dance there.
That's what's up.
Recreationally.
Recreationally.
Nice.
Nothing against professional dancers.
The next day, we will hop on a Boeing, not a 737, but one of their other fine selections,
and take our pretty asses to San Francisco, California,
where we'll be playing the great American Music Hall.
A friend of mine got married there.
That's crazy.
It's such a nice venue.
We're going to get married there, all three of us, man.
Yeah, the treeway.
I'm in.
I'm in.
Tickets for those are both going fast, so hop on those while you can.
This will be out, I mean, in like two weeks,
so hopefully they aren't sold out by now.
If they are, dog.
Then we start the thick run.
We take a couple weeks off.
We go to church.
We eat some pancakes.
You know what I mean?
We use luxurious body washes.
And then July 11th, we're in Boston, Massachusetts at the Sinclair.
July 12th, we're at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.
July 13th, we're at the Black House in Brooklyn, New York. Yup.
July 13th,
we're at the Black Cat
in Washington, D.C.
Wow.
Did they book us
a really big venue
in D.C. for some reason?
They did.
Let's get presidential.
They did.
So we need you
to bring everyone.
All of them.
Everyone.
Just tell them
to trust you.
I need the D, the M, and the V.
Yeah, yeah.
We need everybody.
Dave Matthews and the band?
We need Newport News. God damn it. All right? We need Newport News for sure. Coming out. We need Maryland M and the V. Yeah, yeah. We need everybody. Dave Matthews and the band? We need Newport News.
God damn it.
All right?
We need Newport News for sure.
Coming out.
We need Maryland.
Everybody, we need Baltimore to make the trip.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going down for Providence.
Yeah, Providence needs to come.
Down Providence.
If you're down Providence.
If you're down Providence, wait, get the fucking-
I got the mafia out there for you right here.
If you're in Virginia or North Carolina and you make the trip up, I don't know, we'll
do something for you.
If you live in Holler in West Virginia, holler at me.
If you're in West Virginia,
stay home.
Damn, Gina.
Alright. Unless you played for
the West Virginia football team
when it was a Pat White. Was that the quarterback?
Who are you talking to?
You're the one who gets asked that question.
Anyway, he can come.
July 14th, we're in Philadelphia at Underground Arts.
Going to Geno's, baby.
Geno's.
July 18th, we're in Minneapolis at the Turf.
It's already sold out.
I'm sorry.
We're trying to add a second show.
We're trying.
We'll see.
By this time, maybe there is one.
In which case, check it out.
But also, that one might sell out as fast as the first one sold out.
Thank you, Minneapolis. Yeah, thank you Minneapolis.
They fuck with us heavy. We love Minneapolis.
Lizzo, where you at? Yeah.
No man on the Minnesota
Vikings. That should be you, David.
Chicago.
July 19th, we're in Chicago, Illinois
at the Hideout. That is also sold out.
We're trying to add another show.
We're not sure if we're going to be able to,
but we're trying. And then July 20th we're in Columbus, Ohio show we're not sure if we're going to be able to but we're trying and then July 20th
we're in Columbus, Ohio at the Woodland Tavern
which is also
selling well so cut those tickets. It's not like they got good
sandwiches there, that's what it sounds like.
Columbus? Yeah, yeah. Or the Woodland Tavern
specifically. Oh, here's what you know, you would
like, Columbus. Don't point at me dude.
Huge testing grounds for a lot of 40 ounces.
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How do I know it? I'm a man of the people. Well then I won't be joining you on the lot of 40 ounces. What? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do I know it?
I'm a man of the people.
Well, then I won't be joining you on the rest of the tour.
I apologize.
Well, it's only one date after that.
I know you're not going to do Detroit dirty.
Yeah.
No, I'm not.
With your connections to D12.
Dude, Bazaar is going to be on the show.
With your connections to both Kirby Pocket and D12.
Is that who played?
Did Kirby Pocket play for the Tigers?
Who am I thinking?
No, he played for the Twins.
Twins.
Oh, no.
Kirby Pocket played for the Expos. Didn't they have a chubby dude? Kirby Pocket was on the Twins. Who am I thinking of? No, he played for the Twins. Twins. Oh, no. Kirby Puckett paid for the Expos.
Didn't they have a chubby dude?
Kirby Puckett was on the Twins.
He went blind.
Yeah, Kirby Puckett was definitely on the Twins.
Who am I thinking of?
Oh, Cecil.
Not with your connections to Cecil Fielder.
That's what I was thinking of.
Okay.
I did go to an ICP show.
Paid my own money to go.
So, yeah.
So, the next day, the 21st, we'll be in Ferndale, which is Detroit, basically.
I don't know why they're calling it Ferndale.
Yeah.
How far is that?
Not far. Like, same
fucking... Just across
8 Mile. Either way, we're going to rent an American car.
We're going to be there. Yeah, absolutely. We're going to be driving
a Buick. Yeah. We're going to be
driving three different very heavy American
cars. Oh, I'm going to try to have my license by then,
so maybe. Oh, God.
We're just going to be doing donuts in a parking lot
and a Buick, a Dodge, and a Oldsmobile.
Drinking mad Faygo.
Yeah, so much Faygo.
At the Magic Bag is where we'll be in Ferndale.
So come out and fuck with us.
We want to see you out there.
Please do.
We heard, regarding the Southern dates that are not on this tour, we hear you loud and clear.
Makes more sense to go during winter.
We hear you loud and clear.
We will be hitting those cities.
It's not going to be during the summer. You you loud and clear. We will be hitting those cities. Yeah.
It's not going to be during the summer too late. You think you were going to keep me out of Atlanta?
It's crazy.
David's not going to finish the year without going to Miami at some point.
Dude, don't even play with me, man.
I have another two weeks off in August.
Maybe we should start looking at that.
We'll figure it.
That's going to be so hot, though.
We'll figure it out.
Yeah.
We'll figure it out.
We'll be there Atlanta.
We'll be there Austin.
We'll be there maybe Dallas-Fort Worth. We'll be there for sure New Orleans, be there, Austin. We'll be there, maybe Dallas-Fort Worth.
We'll be there for sure, New Orleans, even if three people come to the show.
Yeah, I don't care.
We'll be there.
It's coming.
Also, Austin, you've already had us.
You got two scoops.
You got two scoops.
We haven't been anywhere besides Portland.
Portland, Austin.
That's it.
Denver, too.
Denver.
Denver also will be back.
Oh, Denver.
We'll be back at High Plains.
I don't care if it's not announced yet.
We'll be there.
Yeah, we'll be at High Plains.
Now it is.
My people know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our people know.
I don't have any people.
So, you know, I've been saying, like, no, I don't do managers.
I don't do TV.
Somebody emailed us, like, Sean, you should totally do it.
I'm like, I would.
It's all a joke.
I would.
I'll tell you this.
I would.
You will, but also stick with it, I think. It's fun. It's fun to me. I would. I'll tell you this. I would. You're going to. It's going to happen.
You will, but also stick with it, I think.
It's fun.
It's fun to me.
I like it.
Anyway, got the business out of the way.
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
Sean Cooter Mellon Jordan on Instagram.
You fucking nailed it, dude.
I got you, baby.
You nailed it.
It's like a voice.
Through the NyQuil haze and everything.
I wish I was in a NyQuil haze.
No.
I think it's fun.
It's not fun. No, not the haze, but I decided to. Oh, NyQuil haze? No. I think it's fun. It's not fun.
No, not the haze,
but I decided to.
Oh, NyQuil.
Well, drinking NyQuil
at night is not,
drinking Z-Quil, baby,
is fun.
Don't drink NyQuil.
I had to.
What's Z-Quil?
That's like a less
medicated NyQuil.
Just less medicated
more booze?
I think the same booze.
Yeah.
Same booze.
But.
I just got a bunch of Z's on it. Yeah. Same booze. But.
I just got a bunch of Z's on it.
Yeah.
So you sleep.
It's like sleeping.
Oh, so you're talking about hitting NyQuil and then staying up is what you liked.
I like to do a look at shoes.
Yeah, I do.
Really?
I listen to like ambient, like I'll listen to like air, like Sigur Rós or something.
I mean, that's pretty cool.
I just wanted to fall asleep as fast as I could.
I love just sitting there staying up.
I was about at 915 last night. I hope we didn't wake you up with all those texts.
You sure didn't.
I was texting like, get up, I'm going to beat your ass.
I texted like 15 times.
I was crying while I was asleep.
What do you got coming up, Sean?
I have an album out now.
Yeah, talk about it.
This is the first time.
Talk about it.
The buck starts here.
Tell them where they can get it.
Pretty much everywhere.
And the amount of people that are like, where do I get that?
I'm like, where do you get iTunes and stuff?
Tell the people, baby.
Tell them.
Don't condescend to them immediately.
No, I'm not.
I was just, it was a personal thing.
What brand of salesmanship is this?
My Aunt Lynn was getting on my case about comedy and podcasts and stuff, so it's just
all resentment. Anyway, go to like iTunes
Spotify. Your Aunt Lynn? My Aunt Lynn.
Does she, world renowned podcaster?
She just, trying to explain to her what a podcast
was was such a bummer. World renowned.
She was being so mean about it. She's like, oh you,
huh, like a lot of that. I was like, well Jesus
I don't know, I don't know what to tell you. Anyway,
iTunes, Amazon, Google Play, all that
stuff. You know, go
please go buy it. I'm stoked.
It's the first thing.
Say all the outlets now.
Just get it out of the way.
It's called The Buck Starts Here.
You can get it on iTunes.
Can you listen to it on Spotify?
You can Spotify.
You can listen to it on Spotify.
Apple Music, I imagine.
Apple Music.
Google Music.
Google Play.
Google Play.
You can get it on.
Google something.
Get a title, dude.
Yeah.
It's actually been added to the end of each of Jay-Z's albums.
So if you just listen through the buck starts here
it's going to be on Pandora and XM they told me too
and if you're listening to SiriusXM95
show your voice some love
I heard it so much on that drive to North Dakota
so just cop it
listening to it on streaming services
is very nice and if money is tight
totally understand that
more than anything
I think Sean wouldn't want you
to listen to his album
I'm gonna be your Don King here
but
only in America
if you got
ten dollars burning a hole
in your pocket
and you wanna show
and you wanna show
the King of Sioux Falls
some love
why don't you cop that album
have it on your iPod
in case like the fucking
you know the apocalypse happens
here's the deal with the internet
we don't know how long
this shit is gonna last we don't know how long this shit is going to last.
We don't know.
Get a hard copy, man.
That's why I got DVDs of everything I've ever done.
My story will not be erased.
You're relaxed, dude.
I bought a DVD of my Netflix set, man.
So cop it now.
Get it.
Download it.
Yeah, that's it.
Excellent. Will Miles in the house. What up, what up? Is it now. Get it. Download it. Yeah. That's it. Excellent.
Will Miles in the house.
What up?
What up?
Is it at Will Miles on Twitter?
At Mr. Will Miles.
Mr. Will Miles on Twitter.
And Instagram.
And Instagram.
Across platforms.
Easy.
Easy.
Across platform name.
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be talking that whole time.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I kept looking.
I had my family's from Columbus.
So that 40 thing, I was thing, I was there with you.
Oh, God.
That's real.
That's real.
If I wasn't in an I-Qual Hayes, I would have been jumping any time.
I'm sorry about that.
I don't want to step on toes.
No.
Marissa's fault is what it boils down to.
More than anything.
I think if we really interrogate the situation, we'll find one name at the top of who's responsible
for this.
And if Chicago gets people eyes.
And if she goes by Mars Mel on Twitter, that's who it is.
Oh, shit.
So, yeah, are you from Columbus?
No, my whole family's from Columbus.
My mom's side and a lot of my dads are from Columbus.
No shit.
We're very excited.
I've never been.
And I'm surprised by how many people have bought tickets already.
Ohio is thriving.
Yeah, yeah.
As Cameron said, I got it from Ohio.
Exactly.
He used to really pull through
in the Pink Range Rover.
Really?
In Columbus.
In Cincinnati and Youngstown.
Really?
That dude is really the best.
We were in Chicago
and we saw a Pink Range Rover
and I was like,
yo, what if that's Cameron?
And we looked
and it was Cameron.
Wow.
So like he,
I think him and Jadakiss
really sold drugs.
Wow. I mean, I have my own suspicions about
that but yeah i those two specifically not to put criminality into it but they you can't go back and
charge them right well yeah great yeah so what does he do what else is he doing in youngstown
yeah exactly yeah you just did that on a thursday that is wild yeah catch a fish in the youngtown
penguins yeah what are you doing?
But I'm just like, if they rap about it, it's not my fault.
No, no, no.
He's pushed a T, he sold drugs.
Don't tell a cop.
He don't give a shit.
The trap was supposed to be awkward.
He told us about it.
He didn't keep anything secret.
Will, what do you got coming up?
Let's see.
I got a pod of my own.
Me and Nick Turner got a pod where we review Netflix.
I love that.
It's called Recently Added.
Hell yeah.
And then I'm writing on Grown-ish right now.
Oh, yeah.
That's fantastic.
It's fun.
It's fun.
How do you like it?
I like it a lot.
It's my first show where I know people are watching.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to to get more fun.
Like, oh, shit, this will get heard.
People are going to hear this.
You're not just putting messages in a bottle out to sea.
Maybe one person.
That's sick, dude.
I already have a fan base before I start.
It's great.
And I just finished on all that, and I just went to the first taping last night.
How was that?
How was it?
It's insane.
It's so cool.
Yeah.
It's like.
Yes.
Kel is there.
And he's dressed in character.
I don't know what I'm allowed to say, but he's dressed in characters you know him as.
Wow.
And you're like, oh, shit.
That's fucking crazy.
This dude really loves orange soda.
Speaking of Kel, did you see Kenan finally got a sitcom
to go to air
and he's going to
stay on SNL.
What a hard time.
He's our EP
on all that.
Is he really?
Dude, good man.
He's just raking in dough.
Thicken the stream.
I'm saying.
Did he say the best?
Find new ways
to get that money.
He's been getting it
for ages now.
Yeah.
He's never not been getting it staying on SNL
that's such a wild move
but I really respect it
I do too
yeah
awesome
he's running away
with that record
of like longest cast member
he's gonna like put up
like unattainable
oh yeah
it's Moses Malone numbers
Will Chamberlain
50 points in a season
yeah
hell yeah
damn
he is making bank
yeah man
oh also Southside comes out this summer.
Yes, it does.
And Sherman Showcase on IFC.
Look, it's been a while in LA.
Sherman Showcase, I'm really excited to see that, man.
What is Sherman Showcase?
It looks so fucking good.
It's funny.
It's a sketch show created by Diallo and Bashir.
Southside guys, right?
Southside guys, yeah.
And they brought me over there.
And then we're writing
we're in the writers room
we're like yeah
this is like cool
we're just writing sketches
and then
you remember
like it's
it's produced by
John Legend
but I never put that
in my head
because I never saw him
right
so then when we got
to shooting
you're like
seeing Quincy Jones
on set
and you're like
oh
this is produced
by John Legend
wow
we can actually
get people
yeah right
because he's like
picking up the phone.
Yeah, he's just calling everyone.
And one day it was like Quincy Jones, Mario Van Peebles, John Legend.
I'm a Melvin guy, but still.
Common, Tiffany Haddish.
Everybody was just on set and you're like, oh, this is like, this is legit.
When you're writing, you don't think about it.
And then when you see it on set, you're like, fuck.
That's amazing. Can I talk? Oh, can't talk about it yet. then when you see it on set, you're like, fuck, that's amazing.
We shot a,
can I talk?
Oh,
can't talk about it yet.
We'll talk after.
You shot a homeless person?
I shot a homeless person.
You shot a drifter.
I was waiting.
I thought I couldn't feel anything anymore.
I can.
I heard the scream.
I don't know where you were,
but I heard it.
You say homeless person,
Zach.
Zach has a home.
That's what he did. Zach's our home. You know, person. Zach. Zach has a home. That's what he did.
Zach's our home.
He did.
I shot Zach.
He's all right, though.
Bounced right off him.
Yeah, he didn't go in.
David Porey in the studio.
Hey.
Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.
The G is silent.
Yes.
On Twitter.com.
There it is.
100%.
The app on your phone.
You can get it now.
You can download it now.
Yeah.
Tell me now. What do you got coming up? Oh, man. This is out in two weeks. Out in two weeks. There it is. 100%. The app on your phone. You can get it now. You can download it now. Yeah. Tell me now.
What do you got coming up?
Oh, man.
This is out in two weeks?
Out in two weeks.
I'm home for a little bit.
Come see me at the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri.
Oh, hell yeah.
June 14th and 15th.
I think I'm going to be at Vino's in Little Rock, Arkansas the day before that.
Okay.
And the day after that gig, I think I'm going to do something in Northwest Arkansas.
So look for that.
And other than that, man, I got my fingers in a lot of pies I can't talk about.
Nice.
Let them cool.
Yeah, I'm making.
Picking the stream, as I heard.
Yeah, I'm out here moving around.
Can't talk about it, but going good.
Also, can't talk about it will thank you for will helped
me he doesn't even know nice I asked you good yeah I love that guy and then yeah
it worked out I'll talk about it this is like the end of that Jay-z diss track
where he's like you know who did you know what
what I'm saying is I had sex with Naz's mom. Oh, damn it. Is that what he's talking about? Jay-Z had sex with Naz's mom?
Is that what the insinuation is behind that line?
That's what I heard.
Oh, boy.
No, because in Super Ugly.
Wait, is that what it is?
That's what I heard, but I don't know if that.
Damn.
Did Naz's mom tell you that?
You don't want to talk about it?
So, officialdavidborey.com.
Go to Faded.
Go to Faded every Friday.
I'm coming out with some new t-shirts.
Coming out with some new t-shirts for the summer.
Production game got stepped up.
Let's just say we're sublimating now, so the shirts are going to be fire.
And yeah, man, just keep your eyes on the Sparrow, man.
I'm out here.
Beautiful.
Sister Act 2.
Sister Act 3.
Sister Act 4. Back to 3. Sister Act 4.
Back to business.
My name is Ian Carmel.
Ian Carmel on Twitter.
Ian Carmel on Instagram.
Ian Carmel on Jewish...
Shit, I remember
that stuff.
Ralph's.
Jewish Delivery App.
Oh, yeah.
Jewish Ralph's Delivery App.
Fuck yeah.
Jewish Delivery App.
What do I got coming up?
Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden.
We'll be, I'll probably, by the time you listen to this, I'll be in foggy old London town.
Yeah, you will.
That's awesome.
Are you going to do some gigs out there?
I'm hanging out with Stormzy, dude.
I'm going to be doing some weird stuff.
What?
No, I wish.
It's like, whoa.
Everybody stood up.
Yeah, I was like.
You're going to London just for this?
Just to hang out with Stormzy, yeah. We're going to bossy bop. It's going, no! Everybody stood up. Yeah, I was like... You're going to London just to hang out with Stormzy.
We're going to bossy bop.
It's going to be fun.
Although...
Nice.
So I'll be in London
shooting that,
so watch the Tony Awards.
There it is.
We're working on those right now.
Watch the Late Late Show.
Fucking...
Come to the All Fantasy Everything tour.
I'm not doing any stand-up this summer just because, I mean, that's what we're doing.
I mean, I will like here and there.
Right.
But like that's just extremely what's up.
Yeah, come to the tour.
Come see us.
Come to the tour, yeah.
Take pictures.
We'll sign stuff.
We'll kiss you.
What an hour.
I love it.
We kiss.
We kiss.
We kiss on the face.
We're going to go eat amazing food, visit cool museums.
It's going to be great.
Once we get to the east, I was telling them, once we get to the east of the seaboard, it's
all seafood.
I can't wait.
I'm going to be a shrimp by the time this is over.
Hell yeah.
Sean, we're going to get you a blue crab, dude.
Yeah.
Hi.
I eat so many seafood.
Huh?
I'm going to fast the whole time.
Grab a piece of football.
Oh, that's right. That's what Maryland does That's just a month where you don't eat whole milk chili
It'll be a hard month for me
I eat so much canned chili
I mean I think it's great
Have you had the Trader Joe's turkey chili?
Yeah
You put chili in a can I've had it Anytime you want to speak for Trader Joe's turkey chili? Yeah, I have. Yeah, it's pretty good.
You put chili in a can, I've had it.
Anytime you want to speak for Trader Joe's, by the way, you just wake me up.
That's also some wild shit you just said.
You put chili in a can, I've had it.
That's like maybe one of the bolder statements I've ever heard.
I believe it, though. Steve Winwood, top five male vocalist of all time.
I believe that, too.
Wow.
Chili in a can, I've had it.
I'm dead serious on that.
He's got a little beef with it. five male vocalists I believe that too wow I'm dead serious on that by the time this comes out this will no longer be timely
but I do want to address
some Twitter stuff
oh yeah
David and I are fine
we love each other
we love each other
I visited him at work yesterday
yeah he came and just
hung out at my work
did people actually think
you were mad
we love basketball
basketball is very fun
but I love David
more than I love basketball
yeah
this thing
kind of thing happens guys
like it's not
it's me you should be worried about
when David's so mean to me
on the show
it really
it really bumps me off
oh man
Sean's not a sharpening sword
to him
that is some horse shit
and they think we're
they think we're kidding
but like it really upsets me
you know
I can tell in your eyes
you're hurting
yeah you're hurting for sure
you're a piece of crap
I'm laughing on the outside.
You should hear what he says when we're not on the air.
Yeah, you should.
It's very uplifting.
It's very nice.
It's very uplifting.
I feel like I heard it downstairs.
Jordanites are going to be like actually past the David now.
Yeah, man.
Now I got to have Sean Jordan Twitter coming at me?
Yeah, the Jordanians.
Oh, man.
They come hard.
The Jordanians special forces.
It's like the beehive and then Jordanians.
That's the order.
Why are you holding the spike bat right now?
If you're so nice to me, you know?
Because he put the chainsaw down, but he doesn't want to be empty handed.
Exactly.
Trying to de-escalate here.
I got to be safe.
I got an accordion full of bees.
Is it a weapon?
I don't know.
Yeah, it's a weapon.
How do I use it?
I don't know.
Don't make me squeeze it, though.
Oh, man.
I love it.
Yeah, so fuck with us.
Now, we are gathered here today in beautiful HeadGum Studios.
Hey.
Just a faint whisper from Skid Row.
Keep charity in your hearts at all times.
The weather's getting hotter.
It's getting more uncomfortable.
Right over there.
Give to charities when you can.
We're gathered here not only to discuss what kinds of chili Sean will eat, has eaten.
All of them.
White chili was scary for a while, but I'm in now.
White chili?
Yeah, yeah.
It used to freak me out a little bit.
White chili?
Is the chili actually white or is it the white beans in the chili?
I think it's actually white.
Is this just where they put raisins in the chili?
What?
That's South Dakota chili.
You don't want South Dakota chili. You need wet wipes. You need wet wipes for your bottom after South Dakota chili. You don't want South Dakota chili.
You need wet wipes.
You need wet wipes for your bottom after South Dakota chili.
Oh, God.
Coat of paper can't do it.
You need wet wipes for your top after South Dakota chili.
Naked.
Cincinnati chili, I feel like I needed wet wipes, too.
Oh, that Skyline?
I can't wait.
Zach said you're scared of it, dude.
Yeah, I got it on hot dogs.
I didn't get it on spaghetti.
Because you don't eat spaghetti at restaurants.
Spaghetti?
That is also true, though.
I don't really eat spaghetti at restaurants.
I didn't do that.
They put it on spaghetti.
Speaking of which, we've got to go ask for some good spaghetti.
Okay.
Some good pasta.
I'll take you to some places.
He won't eat spaghetti at a restaurant.
Why not?
Because it's for poor people.
I've done it.
I've eaten so much spaghetti.
But like these high-end Italian restaurants.
Rosso Blu.
I've never had that.
Bestia's good.
Do they sell that at Olive Garden?
What's that one in Alimento?
No, there's no restaurant.
Alimento.
Alimento is fire.
We've got to go to Alimento.
They have it at Fazoli's.
They got it at Fazoli's?
They got it at CeCe's Pizza.
I'll go there. I'll put it on the pizza floor. They got it at CeCe's Pizza. I'll go to CeCe's.
I'll put it on the pizza for them.
Sbarro's got the best spaghetti.
At CeCe's, when you take it out, it's just one big piece of spaghetti.
It's like one huge noodle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It just comes out heavy.
It's like a fucking brick.
You pull it out of the freezer.
We call it a brighetti.
Like it's cold clothes in a Tupperware container.
Oh, you don't cut it with a steak knife.
I do really like the Sbarro spaghetti by Caroline's in New York.
And I realized when I was there, when somebody told me, like, this is where they shot All
You Can Eat, the Fat Boys video.
All you can eat.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, I love it even more.
I also like that me and you were a medium.
Will wasn't even done talking yet.
No, it was a mental thing.
That's like the fat dude equivalent of when Catholics go, peace be with you.
Give me some pizza, macaroni, and cheese.
That song was straight up just about eating cheese.
There's no other theme.
If I could rule.
I was like, every song is about love, except for one.
And even that one.
Where they just, yeah, they destroy that Sbarro.
Oh, it's great, yeah.
At the end, they're digging stuff in the line that isn't in Sbarro's.
Like, they just got, like, cheese wheels and beef jerky.
Turkey legs.
Turkey legs, yeah.
But I feel a sense of, like, camaraderie when I go in there.
No, for sure.
Absolutely.
Quit the fat boys.
We're gathered here today to draft.
Slang you wish was still cool.
Now, this is going to be rough for us because I don't think any of us considered whether
or not slang we use.
I mean, if we use slang, it's cool.
We're cool.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
It's like, I wanted to preface this by saying, you say whatever you want.
My list is just stuff that I can't make work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mine's a little of both yeah
stuff that I wish
people didn't look at me
like I was a fucking weirdo
when I said it
I mean yeah
this will be a
cultural archaeological
experiment you know
yeah
mine's stuff really
only my
my girlfriend
here's
fiance
I don't know
it felt weird
saying fiance
yeah yeah
but I was like
yeah this is like she knows it and's always like, what are you talking about?
Slang, which was still cool.
And to determine the order of the draft, we play a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.
And shoot not.
Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, Jordan wins.
Nice.
The Jordanian military comes through again.
Zad never win, bro.
Sean, what will be the order of today's draft?
It's going to be, I'm going to go first.
Oh, okay.
Because I just, I don't think anyone is going to take it, but I'm going to go first.
And then Will, David, and then you.
Hot corner.
In the hot corner.
I'm back.
Hot corner.
I'm back.
I'm just keeping it as a horseshoe.
Ian's a hot corner man.
Okay.
I should have told you before you determined the order that it is a serpentine draft.
It is.
What does that mean?
It's a great question.
Shit, David.
130 now, huh?
So let's say-
I did it.
Did what?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm still on that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You blew it?
I get the point.
I get the point.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
If you go home, like if you were in South Dakota last week, if that's where home is,
and you get home and there's- Kelly Jordan made some shepherd's pie.
Okay.
Right?
And then you take a bite of the shepherd's pie,
and maybe you've had a couple drinks at Tommy Jack's,
so you didn't notice that there were cookies also next to the shepherd's pie.
So then you have a cookie.
In the middle of your cookie, you notice there's seriously a vat of chili
on the stove next to the cookies.
Oh, shit.
So you take a bite of it.
Straight out of the vat, by the way.
Take a bite of the chili.
You're like, man, that was good chili, but that shepherd's pie was also pretty good. So then you take a bite of the, straight out of the vat, by the way, take a bite of the chili. You're like,
man,
that was good chili,
but that shepherd's pie was also pretty good.
So then you,
you take another bite of the chili just cause you're not,
you're not done with it yet,
but you can't go back to the shepherd's pie without getting another cookie.
So you get a cookie and then you take another bite of the shepherd's pie.
And then you're like,
what about that chili though?
You know,
I got wet wipes upstairs.
Wait,
wait,
wait,
wait,
wait.
There's three things.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're just going in a line. Yeah. Three. Seriously. So then you come back to the shepherd's pie, take a wait. There's three things? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you're just going in a line.
Yeah, seriously.
So then you come back to the shepherd's pie, take a bite.
You're like, you want some more chili, though.
So you take another bite of the shepherd's pie,
because you don't want to bail on it.
Grab a cookie in the middle, another bite of the chili,
and just kind of go back and forth.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, the cookie's lost me.
I'm basically what it is.
You pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.
It's basically what that means.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was much easier the way's basically what that means. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was...
It was much easier the way Sean said it, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you wouldn't understand mine without his.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
You do have to see the first movie.
Sunshine for Rain.
You know what I mean?
You can't finish the rate if you don't start, you know?
Sunshine and rain.
Thank God you didn't do that one with Corden, dude.
That would have been the whole episode.
I tried to keep it.
I would have gotten fired.
I didn't want Corden to walk up and leave, you know?
Do you know that week Corden?
Yeah, this is coming out a week after, yeah.
After the James Corden episode, which we hope you enjoyed.
Yeah, I forget which one I did, but I tried to keep it pretty linear with that one.
Corden took it seriously.
Where he's like, oh, all right, good.
All right, so Sean, that means you have the first pick in today's All Fantasy Everything draft.
Before you do that, let's take a short break This episode of All Fantasy Everything
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Man, we're back.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to all fantasy and everything.
Oh, that was crazy, dude.
We did so much.
Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick.
I'm going to pick 5,000 as a saying goodbye to somebody.
Wow.
That is something that I say as an Audi 5,000.
You say it all the time.
I do.
But most people, when I say it, they're just like, what are you, 5,000?
And then you have to go through that because it used to be Audi 5,000.
And then in Boys in the Hood, Ice Cube said 5,000 a couple times.
And I was young, and I was like, that's dope.
So I've just been saying 5,000 my whole life and it's
not one of those like oh I'm gonna sound cool you know I just know you're definitely the only one I
know who says yeah like sometimes I'll say it at work to like my boss like bye Sean I'm like 5,000
and she's like what I'm like yeah because it's just kind of part of saying goodbye for me yeah
I just wish it was still cool I just wish people said it and I've always liked the 5,000 version
not the Audi 5,000 that was like a clueless thing.
You don't like Audi 5,000.
No, because that was like-
It's too long.
That wasn't clueless.
Yeah, and that-
And it's a car, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really don't know
where it came from, though.
Audi 5,000, I'll tell you.
Yeah, I was-
In attitude,
describing one or more people
who intend on leaving
a particular place,
Audi 5,000,
Audi's Model 5,000 sedan
was plagued with a problem characterized
by unintended acceleration
in which drivers complained that the vehicle
lurched forward when their foot was on the brake pedal.
In reality, it turns out that the
accelerator and the brake pedals were
unusually close together. This is
why Audi 5000 is associated with
leaving quickly.
That's amazing.
First of all, I thought it was outie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was like O-U-T-I-E.
But that's what it turned into.
I thought, yeah, although that
calls into question, because if it's outie 5000
I'm just leaving quick. It's
kosh into the wind.
Into the wind. Did you ever think it was
kosh into the wind?
It's kosh into the wind?
Damn it.
That's never going to go over over you were the only one there's no such thing as kosh i thought
it's just giving a
this is all true uh yeah 5 is a good one, though.
It's a great one.
Or 5000.
I like 5000.
Audi 5000, it looks like a car Jamel would pull up in.
Yeah, it does.
Oh, Jamel Johnson for sure would drive that.
Yeah.
And just lean on the hood.
You might have to actually.
I might have to.
We should start talking Audi 5000s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't have a car.
It is good, especially the 5000 part of it.
When it just gets boiled down to its essence.
I like numbers.
It becomes a roo, you know what I mean?
I like any numbers in slang.
I won't say any more.
A roo, just a beautiful roo.
Fuck, I love roo.
Who doesn't like a good roo?
Yeah, right?
Oh, yeah, I know what that is, too.
I love it.
We're all roos.
Just a hot one.
A sweaty roo.
Yeah, just like a hot one after a long day.
Oh, yeah.
A hot roux.
Just like a square one, right?
Yeah.
Like a really hot square roux.
Just like a square.
A square roux.
A square roux.
A hot square roux.
Just thinking about it.
Need some ice.
I can't wait to eat or wear.
Really, just I consume it in all forms.
Maybe rub a little on my skin.
I put it in my core.
And I'll take that as you will.
5,000, dude.
Yeah, 5,000.
What did we say, 5,000 at the first pick?
Wait, you had more to say?
I didn't think anyone was going to take it,
but on the off chance that someone took it,
I would have been bummed.
The beard is getting long, dude. It's getting back to like... It's getting pretty thick. Man, I don't want to take it, but on the off chance that someone took it, I would have been bummed. The beard is getting long, dude.
It's getting back to like... It's getting pretty thick.
Man, I don't want to blast them, but two of my
friends dyed their beards jet black, and they're
supposed to look like this. They're supposed
to have tons of gray in them.
But it's like jet black.
And one of them, it's because I gave him shit, and I'm like,
dog, I'm kidding.
You look great with your gray beard.
It's fine. It's just part of getting older.
You got to get a beard that's cooler.
Jet black looks weird.
You look like a nerd.
You look like Steven Seagal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
And that's great.
Which is good.
You look incredible.
You look like a semi-truck-based villain if you dye your beard black.
A semi-truck-based villain.
That's the worst place to base your villainry.
It's in a semi-truck.
Nothing good is going on.
You look like you terrorized Joy Bryant for some reason.
What are you hauling in your trailer?
An illegal card game.
It's happening.
High stakes Blu-ray.
High stakes Blu-ray?
Oh, Blu-ray.
High stakes Blu-ray? I thought you said Blu-ray.
And then I thought it was Boomerang.
It's the Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse DVD.
What's Boo-ray?
Boo-ray is a card game.
NBA players play it a lot.
I didn't know that.
On airplanes.
Boo-ray.
Boo-ray.
Will, time for your first pick.
All right, my first pick. On airplanes. Hooray. Hooray. Will, time for your first pick. All right.
My first pick, harumph.
Oh.
Oh.
Woo.
Whoa.
Harumph.
It's not said enough.
People, there's a lot of harumph feelings going on, but nobody's saying harumph. That's true.
This is, if anything, the golden age of harumph.
You should be saying it.
Yeah.
What a fun word.
Sean, what do you think harumph means? I'm sick of it. Yeah. Harumph. Yeah. be saying it. Yeah. What a fun word. Sean, what do you think harumph means?
I'm sick of it.
Yeah, but really well, I mean, yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that prison cell that I was in.
Yeah.
Harumph, harumph.
And I just go, huh, harumph.
And I just look out the bars and I go, guard, I'm hungry.
Could I have some toast, please?
So is this something you do say?
I say it at home all the time.
You do?
Yeah.
I haven't brought it out into the world yet, but I want to. It's just like, will you bring it out in the world right now all the time. You do? Yeah. I haven't brought it out into the world yet but I want to.
It's just like
Will you bring it out
in the world right now
and use it in a sentence?
Yeah.
Well like for instance
with Julia
if she's like
we clown each other
we're both comedians
so if she says something
like sort of clowning me
I will go
ha rumf
and leave the room.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
It immediately places you
above everything.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is good.
Can I also say, by the way, I was on a show with Will on Wednesday, and it was not hot room.
Yes.
And you went up, and Julia came up to me, and she's like, me and Will are such good friends.
We've seen each other do stand-up for so long.
I know when he has nothing to say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he has nothing to say, and he has nothing
to say right now, and I love
it.
That's such a gnarly feeling.
It was such a beautiful love thing.
She just loves watching her best friend bomb.
She's so happy.
I've been
bombing recently. It's fun.
Because I'm trying to do new shit. It's so much fun to just bomb it. I love it, been bombing recently it's fun because I'm trying to do new shit it's so much fun
to just bomb it
I love that
especially when you've like
has to happen
that's a good thing to say
because there's a lot of like
burgeoning
stand up comedians
that's a fun word
who listen to our podcast
that was my first pick
no I'm kidding
where you get to a point
where you're like
where you love the bomb
yeah
well it doesn't mean
that you're terrible
it's just part of the deal
spice of life man
it just happens
nobody kills it all the time
Michael Jordan missed some shots
he did
you ever do like
you'll go like a month or so
with all
having good sets
and you're like
I got it
I figured it out
I finally figured it out
and then you just
eat shit
yeah
like hard
harder than you've ever done
you don't know where it came from
oh I love this
yeah exactly
oh man
I love it
I love it
it also
it makes when that stuff works so much better.
Oh, God, it feels good.
You need the lows.
When you get a new one?
Yeah.
I love when you get a new one.
Harumph.
Harumph.
It feels like it should be accompanied by sometimes a cloak being tossed across your other shoulder.
Yeah, yeah.
Something a cartoon elephant would say.
Harumph.
Harumph.
Harumph, man.
I like that. I'm going to bring it out into the world. Harumph. Harumph. Man. I like that.
I'm going to bring it out into the world.
This is giving me the confidence now.
You should go to Chicago and run for political office and be Will Harumph Miles.
Oh, man.
And wear this big fucking Tammany Hall suits and shit.
Yeah.
Harumph.
Harumph.
I say harumph to that.
Harumph.
Harumph.
Snapping your suspenders
when you say it every time.
A lot of people saying
Miles is on the dole.
Harumph.
Harumph.
Big cigar.
Big cigar.
Fat cigar.
Big cigar.
Like cartoon cat cigar.
Harumph.
Daredevil kingpin cigar.
Just like,
I went to the mayor's office today
and I said harumph
and walked away.
Vote for me for city council.
I'll leave Tammany Hall in shambles.
And that's a pledge I make not only to you,
but to your grandmothers as well.
You know I would never break a promise to your grandmothers,
dear citizens of Chicago.
Harumph to that and harumph to Rahm Emanuel.
Harumph!
Yeah!
Oh, man.
Perfect.
David, time for your first pick.
My first pick, man.
It's going to be so much different.
I really tried to get this to work at several phases in my life.
Wow, okay.
I've never been able to pull it off.
Fat.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
P-H-A-T.
It just, it never, it never worked.
It barely worked for the coolest people who said it.
It was like, so I was just watching Soul Food the other day,
and the little boy from Soul Food, as a little boy,
that's the coolest little boy, right?
Yeah.
Ahmad from Soul Food is the coolest little boy.
And even he said fat fat and it sounded lame.
And I was just thinking about it and I was like,
it just, it never worked.
It doesn't work. Chris Tucker made it work and that's it.
Was it in Friday?
Pretty hot and tempting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, in Money Talks, right?
Or was it the other one?
Yeah, Money Talks, right? It was the Charlie Sheen one.
Yeah, that's Money Talks. Is that Money Talks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Money Talks is a classic. Yeah. Yeah, that's Money Talks. Is that Money Talks? Definitely not Friday. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was Money Talks.
Money Talks is a classic.
P-H-A-T.
Pretty hot and dirty.
Anyway, I just never.
Is that Heather Locklear that he says it to?
What?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just never.
I tried.
Obviously, because of my personal body, it would be great to make it work.
I know.
It just never.
It just never sounded good man
it never
cause of my personal body
I
who
who sounds good
saying fat
it's impossible
it's so hard to get
Taye Diggs
no
old tick
it's in menace
it's in menace
when he says it
not pretty hot
but he goes
I had the fat ride
and I still
even then I was like
it's cool
there's a movie
where he says
pretty hot
breaks it down
yeah
it says pretty hot
and tempting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it just never, it even looks cool.
It does look cool.
It looks cool written out.
P-H-A-T.
Yeah, it does.
Just, I'd never.
Baby fat.
Fat farm.
Baby fat.
Fat farm.
But fat farm was with the F-A-T.
No, it was with the P.
No, it was P-H-A-T.
Because those shoes had the P on them.
Yeah.
The P and like the leaf or whatever.
Yeah, I just never.
I don't know.
Like,
it's an interesting point
because part of me thinks
like it doesn't work
because we were born
on the tail end cusp of it.
Yeah.
Or we think that.
We're born on a time of age
where it's like.
I was too young
to ever put it in the ether.
Same here.
But I heard it.
I was too corny.
But at the same time,
I don't think anybody's
cool saying it.
I don't think.
It doesn't really work.
Yeah.
I think it was a time
that we all tried it on and we were like,
okay,
we're not going to say fat.
We're not going to put one pant leg up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not my friend.
It's not one pant leg up.
I tried that.
I did too.
Everybody tried that.
Yeah.
It looks cool.
I had great calves and I was like,
what,
I'm going to keep these in the fucking barn.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I had ski goggles.
Batting gloves. You were in the locks?
I wish.
Murphy Lee.
My gloves are so cool still.
Batting gloves are cool.
They still look really cool.
Yeah, yeah.
I bought a pair of these Para Nike gloves.
They're not batting gloves, but they kind of look like it.
They're like winter gloves, but I'm like...
Oh, the football ones for like, for cold.
Oh, those are cool, but that's not even these.
They're just like gloves to wear out
but they have like
a big Nike
they look fucking awesome
but I'm like
when am I gonna wear these
I just want a glove
it's also
it's also impossible
to go out in batting gloves
and not look like
a straight up criminal
yeah
like nobody wearing
batting gloves
is up to
any good
why's your grip
gotta be that good
what are you doing
it's July
you're here opening
pickle jars for people?
Give me that.
We'll get that.
There you go.
No problem.
Just in the store
in Ralph's
just pop them all open.
This will be a lot easier
for everyone.
Popping pickle jars
in Ralph's.
Would they call the cops
if you were in Ralph's
just popping pickle jars?
I'd love to test it.
Well worth the test.
I'd love to just see
how many you could open
before word got to the front.
Yeah.
And then they're like,
get out of town.
And then they come check on it
and you're like,
hey.
True story.
True story.
I think I could get to 15
of those.
I think you could.
I think you'd get more than that.
You could do a hundred.
Before they came at me?
There's got to be so much
convincing that it's really
happening to the cashier.
That's true.
Would any one of you,
Marissa included, would you go tell anybody if you saw that happening?
Because I sure would.
No.
I'd watch for five minutes.
I'd shake his hand.
Yeah.
I'd eat him again.
If he was closing him again and putting him back, then I would, because that's like, people
can get botulism and shit, but like, if he was just popping him and putting him back
on the lid, no, absolutely not.
Could you imagine?
Just popping him to hear the sound?
Ooh, I love it. Ooh, I love that. That's the most? No, absolutely not. Just pop them to hear the sound. Ooh, I love it.
Ooh, I love that.
That's the most indulgent shit I've ever heard.
That's the decline of Western civilization.
Some dude popping pickle jars.
What's a cartoon mushroom
sprouting up in the pickle aisle? What's that noise?
What would be pretty cool is if there was a guy
who paid for them all and then right there
just opened them and kept throwing them.
When the Ralph Clark comes up, you just hand him a $100 bill and keep popping.
You saw nothing.
You hand him a jar of some batting gloves.
Get to popping.
Oh, man.
I like it.
So, yeah, fat.
Fat.
That's a great one.
That's great.
Time for my first pick.
You know, it's my turn because I'm fourth.
I almost threw it as it is.
I'm going to take one that has only ever been used ironically in my lifetime, but I love it.
I long for a day when people meant it.
Knuckle sandwich.
Damn it.
Oh, yes. Yeah. That was like three. That day when people meant it. Knuckle sandwich. Damn it.
That was like three. That was my third pick.
Knuckle sandwich, man.
You want to for real give them I gave them a knuckle sandwich.
That's the best part is thinking about when these were
when these were like actual tough people
being like, I'll go outside and give you a knuckle
sandwich. I bet you like
in 74, it was like
the toughest thing anybody ever said.
When somebody said it for the first time in 58 or whatever, that person was hailed as a god probably.
Oh, you know what we do to greasers around here?
Yeah.
We give them the old knuckle sandwich.
Them and Italians.
Yeah.
This is pretty much everybody who's not at this table.
Some Irishmen in Providence.
We can get through all the potatoes.
The first person probably was confused.
Like, wait, what do you mean?
No, I'm going to give you a knuckle sandwich.
I'm hungry.
I've been eating sugar for two months.
Rationed sugar.
I'll take any sandwich.
Any sandwich.
Is there meat on it? I'll take any sandwich yeah any sandwich is there meat on it
I'll put some meat on it
is it like
moose knuckle
or cow's knuckles
no knuckles
sounds tasty
it's Irving's knuckle
yeah
right in the face
where I'm sitting
how far do you think
it goes back
I think the 50s probably
40s 50s
knuckles sandwich
sounds like something
they would do
it does sound
knuckles sandwich
yeah it sounds like that
that's one of those ones
where they
again like the guy
who first came up with it
must have been like
so stoked
when he's like
you hungry
yeah
we're having a knuckle sandwich
and he laughed
right in the face
punched him right
cause I also think
you could punch people
way more back then
yeah yeah you could
you could just be
punching people
I feel like the consequences
for a punch were far lower
yeah yeah
just walking up
you know what I did last night?
I took Gertrude to dinner.
Knuckle sandwich.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jesus, Sean.
What?
Whoa, we're putting filters on all of a sudden, huh?
Yeah, that's how they really would act back in the day.
It was a darker time.
You can't censor history, you know?
No.
It pairs well with another slang that I don't want to bring up, but I'm like, but it really does.
Yeah.
There was, I forget this.
It's like some British show, but they call it a knuckle supper, which is hilarious to me.
Knuckle supper?
I like that even better.
I gave him a knuckle supper.
Knuckle supper.
Knuckle supper sounds like you'll get all your nutrients.
Yeah, everything, dude.
Like sometimes I got a sandwich, but I also need like a chip, some chips and like a pickle spear.
Oh, yeah.
A pickle spear. Oh, yeah. A pickle spear.
Just to, like, round it out.
Well, knuckle supper, that'd be, because it's England, it would be, like, the knuckle and then, like, some boiled potatoes.
Yeah.
And, like, a pudding.
Or, like, a savory pudding.
Yeah.
There's, like, mayonnaise on the knuckle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, a lot of mayonnaise.
Boy, they'd be some weird.
Do they love mayo over there?
Yes.
I love, I like mayo.
I like mayo, too.
But not as a base.
The differences, like, between English and American food are, like, subtle, but that makes them worse.
You know, like, so the difference between, like, American food and, like, Indian food, it's so vast.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That it's like, oh, this is cool.
But, like, British food is like the uncanny valley almost where you're like, oh, tie the sandwich.
Corn?
It's just corn and mayonnaise?
Oh my God, is that real?
A corn mayonnaise sandwich?
Is he like a corn mayonnaise sandwich and shit?
That is fucked up.
I just like the idea like, oh, tie the sandwich.
Yeah.
Tie the sandwich.
You're like, tie it.
Corn?
Corn.
You can just play like Pret-a-Manger, which is like in New York, too, but it's like
a breakfast.
It's like a Starbucks-y breakfast place, but with way more sandwich options.
And you go in there, yeah, and there'll just be like a corn sandwich.
Some weird shit, man.
So they're just across the pond putting anything on anything.
Anything.
Especially corn, dude.
Like-
Corn?
Yeah.
That's wild.
I do love Pret-a-Manger, though.
Shout out Pret, dude.
Shout out to Pret.
Shout out Pret.
It really is tight.
They got a lot of, they got like a smoked sandwich.
Well, you know, me and Sean are going to get some muffins tomorrow morning.
So we love that.
Pret's in New York too.
We eat Pret when we're in Brooklyn.
Get it, get it.
Let's do it.
We're in the bell house.
Yeah, let's do it.
Tickets available.
For now.
I've been watching a lot of British shows and they always eat Indian food.
Yeah.
A curry.
Yeah, a curry.
Everybody's always ordering Indian food.
They're like, I got some Indian, but every night.
That's the late night run.
Like, curry, like, I hope this doesn't sound, or this isn't problematic, but, like, the way we go for, like, Mexican food is, like, that's what they do for, like, in London with, like, Indian food.
Yeah.
They love, like, a curry.
They swear.
A curry or a kebab is, like, the drunk food.
That's what you go for.
Like, when we go for, like, get a burrito. Yeah, yeah. You know? I had a Taco Bell burrito that was 26 is like the drunk food. That's what you go for. Like when we go for like get a burrito.
Yeah.
I had a Taco Bell burrito that was 26 hours old the other day.
You're telling people that.
Jeez.
It was gnarly.
You don't want all those juices to gill into one.
Bummer.
Yeah.
For like a night and another day, I'm sure, right?
That doesn't end well.
I didn't sleep.
I slept like shit.
Work was a bummer.
You were sober too, right?
Yeah.
Why would you? You have money. Because it was shit. Work was a bummer. You were sober, too, right? Yeah. Why would you?
You have money.
Because I was there.
You have enough money to not do that.
It takes years to break that.
It does.
Yeah, I say that like I didn't eat Wendy's right before bed.
I ate tortillas and cheese all night still.
Yeah, that's how it's going to go.
All right.
That's fair.
You should have eaten a knuckle sandwich instead.
That's why you're the man.
That's what you should have eaten instead. With my next pick, I'm going to take the opposite of a knuckle sandwich instead. That's why you're the man. That's what you should have eaten instead.
With my next pick, I'm going to take the opposite of a knuckle sandwich.
I'm taking Far Out.
That's good.
That's good.
Far Out.
Because it does describe a lot of shit that I think is cool.
Far Out.
I might bring Far Out back.
You could.
It's a Cool Keith song.
That is Far Out.
Cool Keith is Far Out.
I'll tell you that right now.
Cool Keith is Far Out. Don't you just that right now. Cool Keith is far out.
Don't you just far out, man?
We spoke enough weird that we can say far out.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think you should do it.
I think I will.
The key is to try to use these without, like you want to use it and you don't want anyone
to laugh when you say it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how you know it's working.
You got to have it not be.
You're just like, damn, that is far out.
And if nobody smiles or anything, they're just like, it is, dude.
It's so hard with our friend group.
I know. We'll call each other for good're just like, it is, dude. It's so hard with our friend group. I know.
Not having them just call it out.
That's true, too.
David got a job fucking showed.
Look at this guy.
Far out of here!
Far out's great.
Far out.
David's the most Comedy Central. That's fucking far out, man. Yeah, it's far out. It is far out Like Dave is the voice
Of Comedy Central
That's fucking far out
Yeah it's far out
It is far out
It is very far out
We said far out
So many times
Now it is
Now it's in the
It's meaning it's dissolving
In my brain though
I'm like what
Far out
Like where
Like a long distance
From here
Dude
In my new job
That's all that ever happens
Yeah
Oh I bet
You know how many times
I've said Oli Sadiq
And a bunch of other names ever happens. Yeah. Oh, I bet. How many times have you said Ali Sadiq?
And a bunch of other names.
Names aren't things.
Yeah, names.
After a while,
it all sounds like
Jamma Jam Femme Rock.
Absolutely.
It's just noises, right?
Yeah, it's just words.
Have you said my name yet?
Yeah.
Nice.
That's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Will you just say
mine anyways?
Yeah.
Just throw it in there.
Sean Jordan.
Nice.
Will you say,
will you say,
coming up next on Comedy Central,
Rutherford B. Hayes.
Coming up next on Comedy Central,
Rutherford B. Hayes.
I'm watching that.
Yes.
I'm watching that.
Hell yes.
And I wouldn't have run into it.
Hell yes.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's so cool.
That's far out, man.
That is far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out. That's far out, man. That is far out.
That is far out.
Oh, boy.
That's far out, dude.
I didn't want to laugh immediately because it is far out.
It is far out.
It is very far out.
It's far out.
I think that's from like the 60s, 70s.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, that's the psychedelic.
Whenever people like found out about all drugs.
I'm putting far out back on the horse with no name that America rode through the desert
and I'm bringing it right back.
There you are.
Dave Ibori, time for you a second pick my second pick another one that i have always thought was
cool but i just am i'm just not the guy to do it but like damn does it sound neat uh this is a term
for buff yeah i'm picking brolic oh brolic yes it sounds so cool yeah it sounds so cool but like
not when i say it i Brawlic, dude.
It just is never, yeah, man,
getting pretty brawlic. Brawlic.
Brawlic.
Where does it come from?
I feel like it's East Coast. You know, I've never heard it.
You've heard it in rap. Yeah. Ether. Trying to get brawlic?
Yeah. No, I'm just trying to kick knowledge.
Okay. I guess it was one of those words
where I was like, I'm just going to chalk it up as
like it rhymes with knowledge, I guess.
Yeah.
No.
It doesn't even.
It means buck.
I just have never.
And I've tried multiple times.
I feel like I've mostly heard it, and I need to advancedly tell you guys I'm black, and
I've heard it.
People say brolic ass niggas a lot in New York.
Oh, no.
It's not.
That's the only times I've heard it.
Nobody's just like that brolic cracker.
I've never really heard it even referenced to a white person.
Brolic.
Brolic.
I don't know if white people can get brolic.
I feel like they get chiseled.
Doesn't sound like they can get brolic.
Anybody can get cut.
But brolic is like a...
You gotta be god body to get brolic.
Who plays Bane?
Tom Hardy. He's brolic. He gotta be Godbody to get Brolic. Who plays Bane? Tom Hardy.
Tom Hardy.
He's Brolic.
He is.
He's Brolic for sure.
There's some dudes who, I guess there are some white Brolic dudes for sure.
Thor is Brolic.
Thor is definitely Brolic.
It's like Buffett.
It's big and chiseled.
Yeah.
It's just like, yeah, you're just Brolic.
You're like.
You know when DMX is like, then you haven't met the apes?
Yeah.
You know?
Oh, the apes are Brolic. Yeah. Shout out to that dude in. You't met the apes? Yeah. Oh, the apes are brawling.
Shout out to that dude in...
You think you're pushing weight?
Yeah.
Shout out to that dude in the Rough Riders video who straight up has tits.
Yeah.
That dude's brawling.
Isn't that weird when that happens?
Yeah, the big ass dark skinned dude.
Muscular tits.
Yeah.
That dude's brawling.
Like, seek up.
That guy like...
You must be able to bench
like you must look like the dude on the back
of t-shirts. Yeah, Michael Clark Duncan
was brawling. Yeah.
He was.
On those t-shirts and the bars like bending
and they got like eight plates on each
side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you look at that t-shirt
and you're like that looks like it hurts. The Korean Hulk
is brawling. The Korean Hulk?
Oh yeah, check out that Instagram.
The Korean Hulk is brawling. Korean Hulk? Oh, yeah. Check out that Instagram. All right.
The Korean Hulk is Brolic.
Oh, that little kid.
Remember in the early 2000s?
Oh, the buff kid.
The buff kid.
He was Brolic.
The buff kid was Brolic.
Yeah.
Brolic.
I think Simone Biles is Brolic.
Oh.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Tiana Taylor is Brolic.
Tiana Taylor.
Tina Turner was Brolic, too.
Tina Turner was Brolic.
Yeah, there's a lot of people who are Brolic.
I just, I've never, it's just never worked for me, man.
Man, I've never heard that word until today.
And you guys know, I'm a wordsmith.
I say all kinds of weird shit.
Brolic.
But Brolic never.
I'm trying to find out where it comes from.
People think it's from the Dragon Ball Z character Broly.
Really?
Really?
That's insane.
Really?
Yeah, that's what, I mean, that's the best.
I can't imagine that's it. You sounded so calm. That's insane. Really? Yeah, that's what, I mean, that's the best. I can't imagine that's it.
You sounded so calm.
That's insane.
That's totally insane.
I'm trying to think when I even heard it first.
He is Brolic.
I can't imagine that got, who's, I mean, I guess.
Well, a lot of.
Doos in the Hood watched Dragon Ball Z, though.
Which is funny, because I suffered in silence, because it was on Cartoon Network after school,
and I didn't tell anybody.
Yeah.
And then now we're adults, and and everybody loved it, which is wild.
Everybody loves Dragon Ball Z.
It's especially big in the black community, though, it feels like.
It is huge.
I wonder what that's about.
Because going Super Saiyan sounds dope and it just seems.
It's the best explanation of getting mad or reaching your next potential.
It's like, oh, it's Super Saiyan.
Yeah, because that's what everybody wants to hear.
You for sure want to go Super Saiyan on somebody at some point.
Get Brolic and go Super Saiyan.
I thought they were the same thing.
Brolic.
So, yeah, Brolic.
Sounds so much like Brolic.
It doesn't make sense.
But it's the opposite.
There it is.
There's Arnold looking for Brolic, dude. Is that what happens when you Google image search Brolic? When you Google like frolic. It doesn't make sense. But it's the opposite. There it is. There's Arnold looking for brolic, dude.
Is that what happens when you Google image search brolic?
When you Google search in Carmella.
Yeah, just a picture of Arnold.
It's just Chris Pine and some brolic.
And then it's like, and then it's brolic.
Oh, is that brolic?
Yeah.
Okay.
He goes Super Saiyan.
He gets so.
But I thought it came from the early 90s.
I don't know.
I think it does, right?
I feel like I heard...
I feel like I've heard old dudes say it.
Yeah.
Are they still making new Dragon Ball Zs?
New ups?
Probably.
I don't know.
That show is so weird.
I don't know when that show exists in time.
I don't either.
Like, if it could have been a new one,
it could have come out in the 70s.
If you told me all those good episodes were from 1981,
I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I have no idea.
Because there's no references to anything. It's just like, I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have no idea. Because there's no references to anything.
It's just like, I don't know where Krillin's from.
1997?
I don't know.
For me.
So yeah, Brolic.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this Brolic thing.
In the meantime, Will, it's time for your second pick.
My second pick is, I don't know if this got everywhere, but Tall.
Did people used to say Tall for like a lot?
Oh, in tall order like that
dude has tall hoes meant like that dude has a lot of and this is obviously before i might have been
specifically chicago maybe like that that's but like yeah we would eat tall like i had tall tacos
last night like i had so many tacos man that is chicago really yeah that's awesome yeah i think
you guys are the only people.
I've never heard anybody else say Joe that wasn't from Chicago.
Baltimore tries to claim Joe and also Detroit, but I think Detroit
is so close. I think we just wrote up
there and somebody said it.
They were like, that's cool.
No offense to Detroit.
You ever hear anybody say it if you go back?
Older people.
My brother's friends say tall.
They're like, they're 42 and plus, 42 and older.
They'll say tall.
They'll say tall still every now and then.
That's so sick.
I think Common said it on a few songs, so maybe it is just, but yeah, tall.
Man, that's a good one, though.
I like that.
A-I.
Because I need something to say.
A-I. I think need something to say. A-I.
I think about that all the time.
Dude, like every time I hear comedy, it's just the first A-I.
How far can you go outside of tall?
Like, can I say, man, I had Yao Ming taco.
Yeah.
Ooh, that's not bad.
I had statue-esque curry last night, man.
I had Sears Tower tequila.
I had Sears Tower tequila. That's just tequila that they make at the Sears Tower tequila. I had Sears Tower tequila.
That's just tequila that they make at the Sears Tower.
They make it way in the basement.
It's $90 a bottle.
It's terrible.
Man, I like that.
I like tall, too.
Yeah.
Tall.
I want to be clear.
I don't say hoes, by the way.
That was a reference to how I heard it when I first heard it.
Hoes is a nickname for ho-hoes.
Yeah, yeah.
Tall ho-ho's means a lot.
I for sure got tall ho-ho's.
Hostess cakes.
See about that.
We're going to David's house, man.
He's got tall ho-ho's.
You know those things where, like,
when dudes in Chicago go to, like, Starbucks,
they're like, let me get a tall iced coffee.
And then they get that small one,
and it's like, what the fuck is this?
Are you serious?
Let me get a tall Joe.
Let me talk to your manager, because I am tall angry. You said, let me get a tall Joe. Let me talk to your manager because I am tall angry.
You said let me get a tall Joe?
I am tall angry.
So I don't know what you're talking about.
Tall, chilly Joe?
Oh, I'm tall angry.
Man, I like that though.
I never even heard that via rap music.
That's how you know it's very squishy.
Yeah.
Man, tall.
That's tight.
Sean Jordan, time for your second and third picks, as it is.
There we go.
Serpentine draft.
My second pick is going to be squash it.
Squash it?
I've always liked squash it.
Do people not say that anymore?
I don't think so.
I think squash is a cool word.
I love the word squash.
The SQ sound is cool.
I love it.
And in Juice, when Bishop and Q were fighting,
and Raheem, he comes in, he's like,
Bishop Q, squash it.
And I was like, oh, I'm going to say that.
Raheem was so great.
Raheem was.
He died too early.
Brennan means the movie dude, Juice.
Yeah.
God, he was such a good dude.
But yeah, I just like that.
I don't know. And it's a tough way to get your point across. Yeah, yeah. God, he was such a good dude. But yeah, I just like that. I don't know.
It just sounds,
and it's a tough way to get your point across.
Hey, squash it right now.
Yeah.
Because you don't,
it's like a definitive,
like I squashed it.
I squashed it.
Like there's nothing else.
That shit was squashed.
We squashed it.
It's way different than you say,
I squished it.
That's a way different vibe, right?
Bishop Q, squish it.
You and Zach are in the living room fighting.
Hey, squish it. Hey, squish it, guys. I feel like Bishop would have shot him much earlier if you said squish it You and Zach are in the living room fighting Hey squish it
I feel like Bishop would have shot him much earlier
He said squish it
I'm not going to squish anything Rahim
I'm going to squish it get out of here
Squish this trigger
Squish this trigger
It's 1145 where are you going
I'm going to Malloy's house and I'm going to squish it
I'm going to squish it
What a dirty Gross word Squish it is terrible Where you going? I'm going to Malloy's house, and I'm going to squish it. I'm going to squish it.
What a dirty, gross word.
Squish it is terrible.
That's the opposite of squishing.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Let's do a beef with that guy.
Nah, we squish it.
I gave him a handjob with a bunch of jelly.
That's when you jack someone off with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
We squished it.
The guy's like, you didn't have to do that.
Give me a squisher behind the portables.
We're not even close to mad at each other anymore.
No, we squished it.
We're dating.
Couldn't you guys have just talked? No, no, we squished it. We could have not. No, trust me. We had toished it. We're dating. Couldn't you guys have just talked?
No, no, we squished it. We could have not.
No, trust me.
We had to squish it.
We could have.
When I get the chance to squish, I squish.
I showed up with a brown paper bag and we squished it.
What do you want?
There's one thing you know about me.
It's that I squish all beef.
You don't need to squish.
No, how squishy is it?
Oh, God.
We're in a calzone.
How squishy?
Asking the waiter.
How squishy is it?
When I was a teen, I wanted to get signed to Squish-A-House Records.
Oh, my God.
Everything moves slow once you squish.
Oh, man.
Oh, squish.
Squashing it, dude. Squishing it, squashing it. Squishing it. Squishing it. Squishing it. Squish Squishing it
Squishing it
Squishing it
Squish
Squish
Squish
Squish
Squish
Fuck Bush
Eminem was so
Eminem
We let him wander the desert
For so long
Yeah
He really needs to be reined in
Yeah
We really did him wrong
He Mush Fuck Bush Boy Boy oh boy It's a different time for so long. Yeah, he really needed to be reined in. We really did him wrong.
Mush.
Fuck Mush, boy.
Boy, oh boy. It's a different time.
What's your third pick?
Oh, man.
That was so funny.
My third pick is going to be...
I'm going to pick What's Your Damage?
That's good.
I like that one.
That is a good one.
And it was...
Even everybody could say that.
Yeah.
I feel like my mom said that, and she's a foreigner.
She blows it sometimes.
I can see Ivan saying that.
What's your damage?
I could too.
I could see your dad saying that.
It's not mean.
You're getting your point across.
Like, what's your damage?
It's like, you don't want to fight yet, but you might.
Like, there might be a couple more sentences, and then you're going to fight.
But it also could be hopeful.
Like, what's your damage?
I'm going to fix it.
Yeah.
Because we're in love.
That's deep.
What's your
damage, bro?
What's your damage?
It's good to run
slang through the OC
accent content.
What's your damage, bro?
When I was going through these,
I kept picturing tough people
saying that shit.
Looking brawler, dog.
Like a real tough person ready to get in a fight.
Like, what's your damage, bro?
Are you trying to get a knuckle sandwich?
Stuff like that.
Whoa.
That's good.
That's good.
Just imagine a tough person being serious.
Tough guys can say anything.
What's your damage?
And you take it because you're scared.
Tough guys say wild...
My whole life, I've always known tough guys to say wild shit that you just got to be like.
And you're like, well, I can't laugh at you.
I heard a guy at a party one time say, I got the thing that goes bang in the trunk.
And I was like, whoa.
I just in the corner to myself like, this is the coolest dude I've ever seen.
We have to get out of here.
That was amazing.
I'm out the door.
I'm going to get a selfie with this guy.
I don't have a thing that goes bang.
I don't have a trunk.
Neither one of us have a trunk.
I don't have a trunk.
I don't have a trunk.
I walked in.
We don't have cars.
Let's get out of here.
I've got a couple things in my bag, but none of them go bang.
They're not fangs, though.
I've got a couple things in my bag.
I've got some turkey chili.
My mom says I've got to leave with a hat just to make sure.
Speaking of, back in, this is, I mean, this is not a summer topic, but back in the winters
when like, or no, this is a summer topic, like when the water fights would break out.
Yeah.
Did you have kids in your neighborhood who were like, my mom said I couldn't get the
shirt wet or whatever?
Yeah.
Which is. Did I have cowards in my neighborhood exactly that's a lie yeah nobody
right yeah no sure every shirt can get wet yeah well you're not allowed to get wet you can't wash
it wet you can't wash your clothes is what your mom says you never wash that shirt yeah exactly
i had a great mom who was you know who's like tuned in and everything like she was never like
don't get wet yeah you want kids to have fun, man.
Don't have fun.
We're 15 feet from your house.
It's hot out.
What are you upset?
Maybe a hair thing if their hair gets fucked up.
I don't know.
Maybe.
But it all sounds like bullshit.
It does sound like bullshit.
I've never been one of those.
Even at a pool, I can't get wet.
I'm like, get me wet. I'm around
it. I'm around. I want to have fun. Yeah, I came to the pool.
Yeah. It's not vice versa.
The pool didn't come to my house. There weren't kids
running around in Gucci shirts or whatever.
They were dry clean only.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're wearing Oshkosh, but gosh,
the rest of us can't wear. You didn't grow up with a bunch of sheiks?
Just running around in Gucci? I did.
That was when my water fight grew.
Different side of the street. Here comes Ian and the sheiks. running around in Gucci? I did. I mean, but like, that was on my water fight crew. Different side of the street.
Here comes Ian and the sheiks.
We're going to get wet.
Damn, everybody get your weapons.
Ian and the sheiks are coming.
And I'd have to be like, stand down.
Yeah, dude.
What's your damage, man?
What's your damage?
Have you said it?
Have you tried it on?
I don't think so.
In a serious way?
I've never, I don't think I've ever really said it serious.
Even, I've always liked it, but it just doesn't, I'm not that guy.
The shoe doesn't fit.
I just can't.
What's your damage?
You can't do it.
Yeah.
Will, time for your third pick.
All right.
My third pick is, let's go with Cool Cats.
Woo!
I love that one.
I had that on my list.
Oh, nice.
Cool Cats.
Cool Cats is great.
And like me in it.
Yeah.
My brother is much cooler than me, and he says Cool Cats every now and then.
Like, oh, I know those dudes.
There's some Cool Cats.
Yeah.
And every time I'm so jealous.
I know, right?
I'm like, how do you do it?
Because you can't say it like, it's like a shirt you know you can't pull off.
Yeah.
You put it on, it fits, but you're just like, I'll feel weird.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
You get to your car and you're like, I can't.
I'm going back in.
Yeah.
I'm going to be late.
Yeah.
My shirts that have like weird tight parts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Around like the chest.
I'm like, I can't.
I wish.
Nobody would care, but you can.
I would care all day and I'd be mad.
Yeah.
Well, like when Gucci, not to go back to Gucci, but you know when they put out those shirts that had flames on them,
like when they were redoing the 90s,
and Jeff Goldblum was wearing them?
Yeah, and Timothee Chalamet.
Yeah, and Timothee Chalamet, and you're like, damn, like, no.
I just can't.
I could not wear that.
But that's a cool cat wear.
I wish.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's cool cats wearing them.
I'm like, I couldn't pull that off.
Damn.
And that's kind of what saying, like, he's a cool cat feels like. but I'm like, I couldn't pull that off. Damn. And that's kind of what saying he's a cool cat feels like.
I feel like Jeff Goldblum also says cool cats.
For sure.
It works.
Yeah, his whole style is dope.
He stutters first.
Yeah.
He's like, ah.
Yes, yes, yes.
I will say.
These are some cool, cool cats.
Yes, yes.
For sure, I've tried that.
I've tried that on.
I can remember times saying that.
Cool cats.
And right when I said it, I was like, I feel dumb. in my head i was like that sounded stupid dude my friend nobody gave me shit
louis who was just on the last episode uh inventor of the term shaklackity you know our beloved
friend louis nice hilarious but he like so he's from london and like grew up listening to like
his dad was like his dad was kind of a cool cat nice it didn't sound weird just now I want you to know
yeah it sounded good
but like so he grew up around
like you know he listens to like a lot of jazz
and stuff like that and he'll
like yeah man there's some cool cats and I'm like
nah
I can just see Louie
look at you like no I'll be saying it
yeah no he'll keep saying it.
But there's like, even in his head, there's like a half second.
Yeah, the hesitation.
Just like a minuscule second of hesitation.
It's like prison, man.
You can't show hesitation.
No.
You got to go hard with the cool cats.
Yeah, man.
It's either coming out in fully or it's not coming.
Yeah.
You almost have to start the next sentence right away.
Yeah.
Like, those are some cool cats.
But no, I think we should go.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Cool cats, pepperoni or do you want pineapple?
I'm going to say some of this shit tonight.
I'm trying some of this on you.
I'm going to say some at dinner.
Us cool cats, us brawl cool cats,
would like a couple knuckle sandwiches for the table
for the brawl cool cats.
You go to the bartender, you tell him I want a double martini.
Now, that's not a thing, but you're going to make it a thing.
And if there's any beef that pops up, squash it.
Harumph!
Oh, it's not a thing?
Harumph!
We got to get scarves to make this work.
Turtle nuts and scarves to make this work Yeah Turtlenecks and scarves
Both black
Yeah
Oh, so you can barely tell there's a scarf
Exactly, yeah
You get in and you're like
Damn, that cool cat's got a scarf on, dude
Damn
It's not even cold out
Yeah, yeah
Matter of fact, it's hot out
It's cold in here, though
It's actually the hottest day in weeks
David, tell me your third pick
Okay, my third pick comes from uh so
i i often am worried about that i am not i often am worried that i am not getting my point across
yeah the way that i want to and it often leads to me having to check back in yeah so i say things like you know what
i'm saying or you know what i'm talking about or whatever yeah and i watched that movie the sting
a while ago it's actually one of my top five movies i love this thing in that movie they say
you follow all the time and it sounds so cool and it's like I just want a fast way to be like okay
so
this is how
I feel
about Chinese blood sausage
you follow
and like
you follow
you follow
and then just keep going
and talking about
you know what I mean
here's why I love
Trinidadians
versus toboggans
you follow
and then I just keep going
and it does
it was a rough conversation
it doesn't work for me
those are all conversations I've had.
You know me.
I'm out here.
I'm mixing.
I'm blixing.
Whatever.
The point is, you follow.
Do you have to weigh in on Chinese blood sausage all of a sudden?
Should I not have an opinion on the things I care most about?
People from Tobago are called toboggans.
What?
People from Tobago are called toboggans.
I made that up, so I don't know.
I'm like, isn't that a hat?
It feels a sled.
It feels a sled, yeah.
I don't, are they not called toboggans?
I'm looking it up now.
That's a good call, though.
I was like, wait, what?
Yeah, I said that real confident.
Yeah, so confident, and I believe you.
I'm so fast.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I took from the fucking cool cat thing.
I was like, toboggans, and then I keep going.
They won't know.
I followed. I got bad newsoggans and then I keep going. They won't know. I followed.
I got bad news for you.
Toboggats?
Tobogganians.
Tobogganians?
Tobogganians?
Tobogganians, yeah.
I don't like that.
Yeah, tobogganians.
Toboggans are what they call
like those knit caps in New York.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
A toboggan?
Somewhere.
The one with the ear flaps?
The beanie.
They call beanies toboggans.
Really?
Somewhere I've lived, yeah.
What do they call them in Canada again, Marissa?
Like took?
A took?
A took?
A took.
Fool of a took.
Fool of a took.
Son of a took.
Son of a took.
Like from Lord of the Rings?
Like the tooks and the brandy bucks and the...
Yeah.
No?
Brandy bucks.
Oh, yeah.
That's exactly what I said.
Get grounded and read the whole trilogy. Did I read it? No. I wouldn't have got the break box. The whole trilogy.
Did I read it?
No, I listened to it on CD because I got it for Christmas.
Fuck you, man.
I still know who Tom Bombadil is.
Tom Bombadil.
That came from a weird, that whole thing came from a weird place.
I watched all three of those in one day in a movie theater.
It was pretty dank.
That's wild, man.
Yeah, I liked it.
You didn't smoke weed.
It was fun.
No?
It was fun?
I guess.
I mean, I liked that shit, man.
Sign me up
I watched all six
Star Wars
what did you do meal wise
you go out and like
cop hot dogs
ate at the movie
it was me, Tony, and Heather
we ate at the movie theater
it was dope
all fucking day
we were at the movie theater
I've been feeling like
a little movie theater trip
yeah I want to see
I love
what do you want to see
a few things
I know I want to see
Longshot has got
such great reviews
yeah I want to see
Longshot for sure
I thought it would be
fantastic
yeah I heard it's okay it's got like 89 feel like I heard I thought it would be fantastic.
Yeah.
I heard it's okay.
It's got like 89% on Rotten Tomatoes
and it's doing very well.
People just don't go
see rom-coms anymore.
Yeah, that's what it is.
I do.
I will.
I will.
There's been too much
good TV on Sundays
which would be
Yeah, that is true.
TV's really killing it.
And the NBA playoffs.
And Game of Thrones
and the playoffs.
And Killing Eve.
Yep.
Gotta get in on that.
Fucking
I still haven't watched it.
Barry too.
I'm so sorry,
Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
Time for my third
and fourth picks.
You follow?
With my third pick,
ooh,
I'm gonna say,
so this is,
it's another negative one.
I'm going back,
call someone a Clyde.
Ooh,
that's good.
Yeah.
What is it? It means like a lame, like a don't know if that's good. What is it?
It means like a lame.
Oh, that's cool.
This guy's a fucking Clyde over here. That's going to get in.
Like with a D like David?
Clyde. Like Clyde Drexler.
I don't know why you're calling me out.
With a D like David. With a D like douchebag.
Alright. Damn, dude.
That hurt.
That got a giggle.
I didn't like it.
I'm going to be completely honest. I did not like it.
I take it back. It hurt. Redacted.
Redacted. Strike it from the record.
He's a stupid, inept, or boorish person.
Oh, that's so good!
Shit!
Because I like calling people a name anyways
and I'll just make up names.
I'll totally be like, oh yeah, that guy's a fucking Melde. Because I like calling people a name anyways, and I'll just make up names. Like, I'll totally be like, oh, yeah, that guy's a fucking Melvin.
Right?
Yeah.
But a Clyde is.
A fucking Clyde, dude.
Yeah, that's really.
We've all dealt with Clydes.
Oh, all the time, man.
People call them, in Chicago, I think Hermans or Gumps.
I love that.
Oh, fucking Herman, dude.
Oh, Herman, too, is like.
There's a fucking Herman over there.
Last time I went to Portland, I had to deal with a couple of Clydes.
Yeah, I heard about it, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Old chumpzillas.
Went to Sassy's with a man who will remain nameless just because he was feeling it.
So we went there, and it was on like a Friday or Saturday night.
My friend who works there was like, come in.
I want to see you.
And we were like, all right, I'll fucking slide through.
And just the amount of Clydes I had to deal with on that trip.
I mean,
you're getting that.
That's,
that's the,
the,
I want to say the only reason
I don't like going to strip clubs
and it's,
it's enough to make me hate
the energy.
Well,
I used to have that vibe,
but now it's like
chock full of bridge
and tunnel ass clients.
Sassy's is the first time
I ever got like
a stack at the strip club.
Remember,
I got Marissa Lapdance.
She loved it.
She's doing thumbs up.
You guys can't see it.
That's awesome.
Portland strip clubs are next level.
It was a beautiful family experience.
Yeah.
That was really fun.
I've never had anything against.
I was falling asleep.
It was great.
Yeah.
This is the most wholesome.
I got a number.
That sounds fun.
I fell asleep at the rack.
I don't remember.
Seven times.
That's great.
That's a great night.
That's a surprise that comes with being the Prince of Portland.
That's what I'm talking about right now. They should have kicked. The surprise that comes with being the Prince of Portland.
They should have kicked me out.
They don't treat the
Prince of Sioux Falls
like that if I go to
Scarlet's.
No?
Scarlet's.
Break a pool cue
over my back just for
looking at someone.
Are you like a
fucking regular ass
Clyde?
Were you with
Bronger and Andy
when they were
taking us to all
those strip clubs?
I think we went to
San Francisco.
I always bailed on
those because I
lived there at the
time and I was like
I can't treat it like I'm on vacation.
Yeah.
No, that makes sense.
God.
Those – man, they'd take – they wanted everyone to be sober during the shows,
but then they have a strip club tour at like noon to four.
And then people get shit-faced.
Somebody got soup.
Didn't Sam Jay like get in an argument with a bunch of strippers or something?
Oh, maybe.
That was a different strip club trip.
I wasn't there for that year.
Okay. I mean, a lot of stuff happened, and then people are maybe. That was a different strip club trip. I wasn't there for that year. Okay.
I mean, a lot of stuff happened, and then people are doing these shows, and they're
all hammering them.
Like, that was good.
You wanted everyone to stay sober.
Yeah.
At some point, I know somebody handed me mushrooms.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'll buy that.
And I had to do a show.
But I think it was like set list or something, so it was like one of those.
Kind of perfect for it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, you needed to think wild anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
Ah.
Those comedy festivals where they get like sponsored by a cider company.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You've been drinking like pound and cider all night.
You just have to drink so much sugar.
Those root beers, not your dad's root beer.
Yeah.
I loved those.
One time.
Did we smoke weed at a Bridgetown one time?
Probably.
I think so, actually.
Because I think it was, was it me, you, James Davis?
Yes.
And Rob Hayes?
Yes, absolutely, yeah.
So we're smoking weed, talking about shoes.
The very first New Negroes.
I would have loved to walk in on that circle.
I took a hit and I was like, I remember, I took a hit and I was like, you guys, I'm sorry.
I'm freaking out.
You guys are like, you're like, it's cool.
I go, it's not.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really freaking out right now.
I'm so, I'm cool. I'm sorry. And they're like, it's cool. I go, it's not. I'm so sorry. I'm really freaking out right now. I'm sorry.
They're like, it's alright.
Those are three pretty chill dudes I'd feel like
to freak out.
Those three dudes probably got you.
We might have to swaddle you like
a baby if you want to
smoke weed again. They just really wrap you up.
I seriously want that.
What's that thing that Temple Grando
used? The two wooden boards?
Yeah, we need one of those for weed for sure We gotta give you the Temple Treatment
Maybe a weighted blanket
No that was awesome
Yeah that was the first New Negroes ever
Really?
Oh god that's right
We had gone to the Nike store earlier that day
I had red gatos and a grey hoodie on
It rained all over I remember it really well.
Yeah, me too.
Damn.
And that was my first time ever in Portland.
I was like, this is amazing.
Those festivals, dude.
Oh, my gosh.
Those were so...
Anyway.
Time to bounce back to the positive side.
I'm playing a game of tennis here.
With my fourth pick, I'm going with Fat City.
Oh, hell yeah.
What is that specifically?
Fat City is like you're doing well. You're fucking... Like the coins are coming. You're living with Fat City. Oh, hell yeah. What is that specifically? Fat City is like you're doing well.
You're fucking, like the coins are coming.
You're living in Fat City.
You've got a thick revenue on Fat City over here, man.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, we've got the podcast and some stand-up revenue coming in,
writing for the Late Late Show.
It's fucking Fat City for me, man.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Yeah.
It's just great.
It's a fun way to, it's like another positive uh fat connotation which i like yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah posi fat somebody was uh giving me oh it was corbin shout out to corbin
i was making fun how fat nicole yokich looks which by the way he's not no denver nuggets center
when he first got here oh he's so funny he just like every dude who doesn't have any muscle
definition he just got one of those weird bodies but. He was like every dude who called me that. He just doesn't have any muscle definition.
He just got one of those weird bodies, but then he'll go out there and play like 58 minutes
and like-
68.
Very well, my friend.
Kill it.
That's like a European thing, I think, right?
Or like wherever-
He's just a soft fucking, like he looks like he's made out of like-
I think it's just low muscle tone.
Low muscle tone.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not like size.
You know when you buy those like tubes of like fucking like biscuits or like of cookie dough?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what he looks like he's made out of.
Familiar.
Yeah.
Isn't that, this might sound like offensive, but like isn't that every like European basketball player?
A lot of them are pretty.
Yeah.
Not hard.
No.
There's not like, they're not brolic.
No.
They're not brolic.
Which is weird because I've been on
a lot of YouTube things
there's a lot of brawlic
dudes over there
big time
there's brawlic
Eastern European
oh there's big time brawlic
the Eastern block
gets brawled
but like I'm remembering
when 20 Kukoc first
got to the Bulls
and you're like
that dude looks like
he doesn't care at all
Kukoc was soft
but he would like
always do a pretty ass layup
and you'd be like
alright he'd saved himself
it's a story for another time but I wonder wonder who is the most brolic European NBA player.
White European NBA player.
We'll set that aside.
That's a side.
We'll make it for dinner.
Yeah, we'll ask Zach Harper later.
He'll know.
Oh, I was talking about how he looks like he's carved out of butter and stuff like that.
And he was like, you're being really negative.
I'm like, if I'm calling someone fat and they're out there killing it, that's a positive thing for me.
Also, I'm fat and I love myself.
I'm not using it to cut someone down.
I'm just being like, look at this motherfucker who looks like he's made out of mushrooms stuck on a bunch of shish kebab
sticks, or not mushrooms, like marshmallows
stuck on shish kebab sticks.
Someone just stacked up marshmallows. Going for a triple-double
with like 28 points. I'm like,
I'm rebelling. It's not a negative
thing. And I think if there's one
thing we learned about Jokic is that he
would not care. No.
He does not give a shit about anything.
I can't wait until the series is over so I can go back to loving him.
And by the time you've heard this, yeah, it's weird, the playoffs, man.
Like last round, I was like, fuck Russell Westbrook.
He's my favorite non-Blazer.
I was just talking to Chris Charpentier.
He came over to watch the game about it.
And I was like, I thought the Blazers were cool all year.
And then when we're playing them, I hate the team.
All of them.
The bench.
I hate the fans in the stands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hate the announcers.
I hate.
You hate CJ McCollum's perfect mustache?
Yeah.
I hate it all.
It's perfect.
Because it's not Beasley.
Because he's not Beasley or whatever.
Yeah.
It's just, yeah, it's tribalism.
It's harder to hate Dame though, isn't it?
Yeah, it's really hard.
He looks so nice.
He just has such a nice face.
And he's just like. He's so cool. He just has such a nice face. And he's just like.
He's so cool.
Those quick release shots are just.
Yeah.
The J is so wet.
Yeah.
And it's like.
When he started coming through in the last game, like in the fourth quarter.
Yeah.
When he starts cooking up.
Just as a basketball fan.
Yeah.
When it is Dame time, you're just like, oh my God.
I get mad.
I was telling Ian, every time he takes one of those deep shots, right when he sets up,
I'm like, you mother. And then before I can even finish it, it's in. And I'm like, geez, he. I get mad. I was telling Ian, every time he takes one of those deep shots, right when he sets up, I'm like, you mother,
and then before I can
even finish it,
it's in,
and I'm like,
jeez,
he is so good at basketball.
He's fat city, dude.
He's living in fat city.
He's tall,
good at basketball.
He's tall,
good at basketball, dude.
Yeah.
Ain't no Clyde.
No Clydes over here.
After that,
after the series,
Blazers and Nuggets
need to squash it for real.
Oh, it's squashed already.
It's pretty squashed. I think they need to squish it
it's pretty squished
yeah
squish that shit
yeah
squish that shit
squish that shit
one time per game
you wanna get kicked out
you wanna get kicked out
of sassies
I'll tell you what
say
yeah
squish it
that would've been so funny
hey we need to squish this
right now
two different people started trying to fight me I can't tell what it is That would have been so funny. Hey, we need to squish this right now.
That kind of freaked out. Two different people tried to fight me.
I can't tell what it is.
It's like the combination of having like notoriety in that city and being like a big dude.
Yeah, you're big.
It's amazing.
Dude, Boosie says you can't live in Louisiana no more.
Boosie, I was just going to say that.
Lil Boosie Badass?
He's like my favorite rapper.
We need to squish this right now. Guys, squish it. Come on. All right, David, I'll kill you. He's like my favorite rapper. We need to squish this right now.
Guys, squish it.
Come on.
All right, David, I'll squish it.
Get some peanut butter and squish this.
It's my pick.
So awesome.
My fourth pick.
I'm going down to the south.
I don't know if you guys remember the Cash Money era.
Of course.
Big.
In detail, yeah.
You mean in Beaverton?
It was everywhere.
My first CR.
It was huge.
Yeah.
During that era, there was a term that they called each other.
So cool.
When I said it in front of my mom,
not sure if it was a word I was allowed to say in my life.
I'm taking woadie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Woadie.
Woadie's great.
Woadie.
It was so cool when Juvenile said it.
Nobody else can say it.
Slow your roll, woadie.
Woadie.
Woadie, you let them hoes go?
Or whatever.
You know.
Does it mean like woadair?
I don't even know how you spell it.
Woadie.
I think I know the history of it.
Really?
I think it's wardy, but they have such an accent.
That's how it sounds.
It's like fifth ward.
Yeah.
That they're like, oh, here's this wardy, but they say wardy.
Oh, because I'm of the fifth ward.
I'm a wardy.
I'm a wardy.
I'm a wardy.
Yeah.
That's what I love about slang is knowing where it comes from.
Yeah.
That's so tight.
Damn, that probably is it.
I think I learned that from like some New Orleans kids in the house.
That makes way more sense.
Yeah.
Wordy.
It sounded so cool.
And I saw multiple people try to take that one.
Yeah.
And it didn't work for anybody.
You have to grow up saying that.
From New Orleans.
You have to be from, it's like trying to say baby the way that they say it.
Oh, yeah, baby.
They say it like crazy the way they say it.
And they say it all the time down there.
But you can't say baby like they say baby.
I got a different way of saying baby.
It's very Jewish.
Baby?
What's up, baby?
See, I love it too.
That one's great too.
The way they say it is like baby. I'll take that pony over a walk. Baby, baby, baby? See, I like that. I love it, too. That one's great, too. The way they say it is like, baby.
I'll take that pony over a walk.
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.
Oh, yeah, baby.
You're Jewish.
100% permissive and everything.
Nice.
What about this guy?
Wode.
Wode.
Wode.
You just can't do it.
Shout out to New Orleans for having maybe the most difficult slang culture to penetrate
in the country.
It is a thick road.
Only people from New Orleans can talk like people from New Orleans.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anybody else and everyone would stop you and be like, what did you say?
My name is Baby.
And I know because when we were in New Orleans, I tried it a bunch of times.
Because everybody would be like, you want some of this, baby?
And I'd be like, no, baby.
And everybody's like, what are you, Jamaican?
What are you, Ross Klott?
I ain't going to pass for now.
Highly salace, I want a number two.
Me no crazy bald head, but I'm actually pretty full.
Me no crazy bald head, but I'm actually pretty full. Me no crazy bald head.
Oh, I'm dizzy.
Me no crazy.
We should start doing that the way my dad will overly pronounce words at Mexican food restaurants and stuff like that.
Like, I would like some sopa pia.
Yeah, yeah, sopa pia.
Oh, man.
Me no crazy baldy.
I'm a patois.
Oh, my gosh.
With no accent.
No accent.
Oh, man.
I'm the roughest, toughest Ross ross-clot, rude boy.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Pardon me, rude boy.
Pardon me, bubble-clot.
Now, these bubble-clot.
You won try test?
Yeah.
You won try test.
Pardon me, you won try test?
You almost can't say it without you won.
Yeah.
You don't know.
Do you have a joint I'd like to bun my?
Do you have mo-fire?
I need mo-fire.
Mo.
You just sit on those joints,
you're going to bun them, no?
You're going to bun them?
Well, David, you were a paper chaser.
You had your block on fire,
remaining a G until the moment you expire.
Yeah.
You took mode A with your fourth pick.
Did a moment you expire. That song was way before its You took one day with your fourth pick. Did a moment you expire?
That song was way before its time.
Will W. Ford's neck?
I think it was.
It wasn't exactly of its time.
In Sioux Falls, it didn't get any fucking credit.
Oh, really?
Everyone's like, this song sucks.
A couple people liked it, but if it came out now, yeah.
That song was so hard.
That's you with a Ford F-150, huh?
Go to Walmart and feel thrifty, huh?
Put a gun rack on your bike, huh?
You can't keep an old lady because you keep buying her chiseling, huh?
Going to Badlands, huh?
With your friend Randy, huh?
Home of Januarylands, huh? With your friend Randy, huh? Home of January Jones, huh?
Going to Dairy Queen with January Jones, huh?
We've already got a lot of play in Sioux Falls.
Going to VFW to play some Bones, huh?
Radio play.
A lot of it.
2008 got you for Cellulophone, huh?
I know, ain't tripping,
because Tommy Jack's got some hoes, huh?
Man, you guys,
we can do this all day.
I'll buy the album.
Yeah.
Sioux Falls Wodeys.
World Tommy, your fourth pick?
Fourth one is another
usually say it around the house thing.
I don't even know
if this was real slang,
but in Ocean's Eleven,
Don Cheadle plays
a British character.
Yes, he does.
And at some point he says,
oh, leave it out. Oh, leave it out. Leave it out.. Yes, he does. And at some point he says, oh, leave it out.
Oh, leave it out.
Leave it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I don't even know if that's a British slang, but it's cool.
And I say it all the time at home.
It's like, come on, leave it out.
Leave it out.
Leave it out.
Like Kevin Durant's answer, oh, leave it out.
Leave it out.
Don Cheadle's accent in that, he was really trying.
Yeah.
He was having fun, man.
He kept the bat weights on and swung.
Yeah, yeah.
All I'm saying about that, mile high till I die, I will not besmirch Don Cheadle.
I love Don Cheadle.
I even love his terrible accent in that movie.
It was crazy.
It was nuts.
But he went for it.
He did.
And he said, leave it out.
Did he meet a British person who talked like that?
I don't know.
I feel like that was just made up.
That's all Cheetle brings.
Yeah, I think so.
We've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones, too,
and Tyrion Lannister's accent is always kind of bugging me
because I'm around all sorts of different Brits all the time.
Yeah, you're around Brits heavy.
Yeah, and you're like,
when someone's doing a bad British accent now,
it stands out.
It didn't used to, but now I'm just like, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Leave it out. That's how I am when but now I'm just like, come on. Come on.
That's how I am when Will Smith did that African accent for that movie.
I never saw it.
Disrespectful.
How many Africans does he know, right?
You know, that's a question I have no way
to answer.
It really could. Either way, I think
it would surprise me. I know, right? I bet he's met Chiwetel Ejiofor, but I don't think he's African. it would surprise me i know right i bet he's met
chubutel egea for but i don't think he's african i think he's british i bet that he's met like
kofi annan though oh yeah like i bet he's really met some for sure africans winnie mandela basket
yeah yeah basket mouth the comedian yeah yeah dude hannibal's doing hannibal went there did
shows with basket really i gotta chill huge yeah basket mouth is huge that's wild he's the god
shout out to basket mouth we would love to have you on the pod
came to the u.s chicago yeah really yeah he did laugh factory chicago i feel like it's
cuz hannibal went over there and did those shows. Yeah.
That's amazing.
So, yeah.
Brits, the Brits have some fantastic slang.
They do.
For sure.
That part in Austin Powers was my favorite part.
Uh-huh.
When him and his dad are talking, he's like, oh, the ones who was all sixes and sevens. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Like, how does it mean that?
Some of that stuff, it's Cockney rhyming slang.
So, like, if you're a six six, like, I don't know exactly
what that is,
but if they're like,
they like,
like,
I don't care.
You can say like apples
and pears
and stuff like that.
I'm probably butchering this.
Wasn't it like
some kind of,
didn't they use it
for like codes
kind of too?
That was the movie
Windtalkers.
My grandma bought me
Windtalkers.
Had to.
She bought me
Windtalkers in the terminal
when I tore my ACL. That's so sweet of her. It is, but she's like, yeah, Windtalkers. Had to. She bought me wind talkers in the terminal when I tore my ACL.
That's so sweet of her.
It is,
but she's like,
yeah,
wind talkers in the terminal.
These are your interests.
Oh,
apples and pears
mean stairs.
So it's just like,
so I threw them down
to apples and pears.
So they just say stuff
that like rhymes with it.
So they're like,
instead of telephone,
they'd say dog and bone.
What?
Why don't you pick up
the dog and bone
and make a call?
But then that just
turns into dog. So now dog means like phone like pick up the dog yeah so on that so
let's say i'm in england yeah yeah i've been walking around it's hot out yeah can i say
oi my bong riches where because my bong Because your dong itches? Yeah. Nice.
You can just rhyme words in. I was watching YouTube.
That was tough.
Yeah.
YouTube wanted to walk together.
What are they going to say?
Me riches.
Me riches.
Hi, me riches.
Hi, me riches.
Yeah.
We got to get over there.
Does that mean your dong itches?
My bong riches.
My bong riches.
Selecta.
Static Selecta.
Tim Westwood. Tim Westwood.ctor static selector Tim Westwood
rid him
fire in the booth
all my slang from England
is drum and bass
drum and bass
yeah
or the streets
yeah
the hip hop guy
the streets
yeah
group guy
whatever he is
man remember when you were
so deep for knowing
who the streets was
yeah
I remember before
the internet was like big.
I listened to all kinds of music.
Lady Sovereign.
I really am.
I did like Lady Sovereign.
The Streets, I was always like, I would listen, but I wouldn't quite get it, but I'd pretend
like I got it.
Yeah, same here.
I tried to get into the original of that album so many times.
Yeah, me too.
The Try Your Eyes Made song was good, but that's because it was like, try your eyes,
mate. Remember that one? Yeah cause it was like dry your eyes mate
remember that one
yeah
what was the hit
let's push things
forward
you say that everything
sounds the same
and you're like
this song is gonna be cool
and then he's like
okay
I'm walking down the street
left hook
right hook
apples and pears
sixes and sevens
and you're like
me and me mate
stopping for some chips
and the bear working there
won't give me the time
yeah and the barmaid is walking talking do you think you are pretty slick And you're like, me and me might stop in for some chips. And the bear work in there won't give me the time.
And the barmaid is walking, talking. Do you think you are pretty slick, even though you don't know it?
That was like, in my heart, I was like, I hate this.
Yeah.
But there's a girl here who thinks this is cool.
Yeah.
Or she thinks it's cool that I think it's cool.
It was like the streets, city of God, we're making out.
Yeah.
I like city of God, though. City of God. That's perfect. That's the 06. It was like the streets, city of God, we're making out. I like city of God though.
City of God,
that's perfect.
That's the 06,
that was the 06,
that was the mix.
That was your ninth?
My first apartment.
Oh, you haven't seen
E2 Mama Tambien?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
It's just so deep, you know?
They have a lot more sex in it
than you think.
Yeah, it's true.
Oh, my friend,
I don't want to say.
Gender is a construct.
I heard a kid use that
on a girl.
You know from that movie.
No, it was um
fuck
it wasn't E2 Mama
Cambien
I'll think of it
let me go
put a button on that
throw Mama from the Trench
no shit
it was uh
I'll think of it
before the end
but I heard him use it
and I was like hey
this is ridiculous
like right in front of the girl
I was like this is
you can't
leave it out bro
leave it out bro
leave it out bro
John time for your
fourth and fifth picks.
Fourth pick.
Going to be Hit the Skins.
Oh, that is good.
It sounds really gross.
It does, dude.
But it was, you know, I feel like these are all coming.
That means drumming, right?
Drumming?
It means play football, dude.
Oh.
I feel like everything is from like Juice and Menace, but I don't know.
No, Hit the Skins sounded cool when they said it in Juice.
Yeah, it really did.
They were talking about sex though in Juice, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, what are you talking about?
I'm talking about sex.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
I was like, somebody just said football.
I'm like, wait, I could have swore it was sex.
I got so confused.
It was one of those terms that I don't think I quite knew what it meant when I heard it first.
Because I think it's in Boyz R U.H. when he's trying to get with Nia Long and he's like,
when are we going to hit the skins?
And I was like, what does that mean?
What is he trying to do with this girl?
He knew you wanted him, though.
I was like, it sounds like I'm going to want to do that at some point.
But he didn't even sound cool doing it.
Because it was Cuba Gooding Jr. and he was like the nerd.
And I just want to leave through the TV like, you're not going to do it because you sound like that when you say it. Because it was Cuba Gooding Jr. and he was like the nerd. And I just want to leave through the TV
like you're not
going to do it
because you sound
like that when you
say it.
Yep.
You fucking dork.
But it's like
in five minutes
you're going to
punch the earth
like the air
and cry.
So you can't say
hit the skins
if you punch the air
and cry
because you got arrested.
Oh yeah.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Like come on man.
Bad punches.
And don't be a menace
when they're doing that
and he's just knocking out everyone in the room.
Everybody gets knocked out.
That was one of the best parody movies, Don't Be a Menace.
They really did it right with that one.
Because, like, yeah.
That's one of my top.
Another top is Not Another Teen Movie.
I think it's very good.
It's so fucking good.
I love that movie.
It's great.
Chris Evans doesn't like that movie.
And it bums me out. Because I think it's hilarious Chris Evans doesn't like that movie and it bums me out
because I think it's hilarious
top to bottom
that movie is so funny
100%
the yelling off screen
is maybe the best
written yelling off screen
I've ever heard
dude
all that
just everything
everything in that movie
is so good
and the dude from
Varsity Blues
Billy Bob
he's in that movie
he's one of those dudes
that's in the parody
oh yeah
he was getting a lot of work.
And I love the joke of like,
I'm going to make like a tree
and get out of here.
Oh, yeah.
That's just classic joke.
Very funny.
Hit the skins.
Yeah, hitting the skins.
And your final pick?
This one's for me.
Nobody might like it,
but I loved it.
It was the
The Budweiser commercial
you guys don't remember that? Oh, was that? I loved it. That was how... The Budweiser commercial, you guys don't remember that?
Oh, that's your...
I loved...
That was how you did it?
Oh, yeah.
I fucking loved it, dude.
Do you...
I kind of wish it was back.
Sure you remember?
Yeah.
Do it one more time?
Wazzup!
Like, there was that one.
But then how did you do it?
There was...
There was...
There was one dude who was like a real.
I don't remember that one.
We'll watch it.
We'll watch it.
I believe you, but I don't remember it.
It's like at the end of it when he just goes like.
He barely says what's up.
Because he's like the dude with the bassy voice.
Like the biggest dude.
How did that
that's so genius
it was
I believe it though
but you remember
the commercial
yeah
I'm just looking back
as an adult now
what's a fun thing to say
that's the best commercial ever
we all did it
yeah absolutely
everybody's dad did it
everybody's mom did it
I just
it was so fun
everybody's cousin did it
till like 2000
can you imagine thinking of it
yeah it's like
for like a year
it was just like
they sold t-shirts
to the beach with them on it oh yeah I mean you go to the watch it for like a year it was just like they sold t-shirts to the beach
with that on it
oh yeah
I mean you go to
the right place in Venice
you're still gonna find
that I bet
oh what's up
what's up
what's up
that guy outside
what's up
yeah yeah
those were fun
and then they did it
with uh
mystical says it
and get out the way
yay
remix right
doesn't it
what was that
Oh how
How was that
Just get my dicks
What are you doing
You got two different
Ones in there
I was just
I was just in a restaurant
And they had a picture
Of Mystical
In front framed
Where
Like a picture
Of Mystical
Not in front of the restaurant
A picture
The picture was
Of Mystical
In front of the restaurant Wow And they had of Mystical in front of the restaurant.
Wow.
Pete's Kitchen in Denver.
Shout out to Pete's.
Oh, wow.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not somebody to, you know.
No, he's not a good guy.
He's a bad dude.
He's a good guy.
And second of all, Pete's like famous people go there.
I don't know.
Maybe Mystical has ties to the Greek community.
I don't know.
He's big in the Greek community.
Mystical is actually his real name is Greek. Mystical has ties to the Greek community. I don't know. He's big in the Greek community. Mystical is actually his real name is Greek.
That's why there's a K.
Yeah, Mysticalopolis.
Mysticalopolis.
Excuse me, Mysticalopolis.
His real name is Bernard Mysticalopolis.
His first record is out under Bernie Mysticalopolis.
Bernie Mysticalopolis. Somebody Bernie Miskelopoulos.
Somebody's going to 21 Savage him soon.
He's from Crete.
He's from Crete.
This whole time?
This dude's a Cretian?
That's so funny.
Yeah, Bernie Miskelopoulos from Crete.
I know Crazy Baldhead.
Crazy Baldhead.
Oh, damn.
Shit.
Yeah, this is tight.
This is a fun one.
Miscalopoulos, that's amazing.
I forgot completely where we were.
What was that?
I just made my last one.
That was your last one?
Yeah, my last one.
My last one is...
Ooh, what have I already done?
Oh, I did that, okay
Let me do
Solid
Ooh
Solid, yeah
Solid is so cool
That's one
I still try to say solid quite a bit
Yeah
I use it as do me a solid
Yeah, yeah
Do me a solid's good
Describe someone as a solid dude
Yeah, yeah
Those are still kind of floating around
But I like it when you can
I like when you can say cool and like solid
Yeah, solid.
Solid.
Yeah, you got to put your fist up.
Solid is one thing and then solid, isn't it?
I'm talking about solid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Solid.
Hey, solid on down, brother.
Rick solid.
Yeah, I did it.
With Mr. Colophilus.
Yeah, I did it.
With Mr. Colophilus.
Yeah.
That in the cable guy, just call it one guy doing another guy
a solid
yeah
solid
or inside
respondent
like solid
that's awesome
it's cause it's
perfect
substantial
sounds so strong
solid
solid
solid bro
solid
yeah
solid
hey
give me a solid
and go run and get
that Postmates
will ya
said while Solid. Hey, do me a solid and go run and get that Postmates, will you?
Said while rolling up a joint.
Hey, man, do me a solid.
Do it.
The amount of times I've been either just smoked weed when the Postmates has showed up.
Yep.
Where, like, it must be reeking of marijuana.
Oh, I've had so many times where he does. Billowing out like a Redman video.
Yeah, like, yeah, I stumble out of the house.
Yeah.
Two different slides on.
Thanks for the tender greens, bro.
I'm healthy, if you can tell.
Can't wait to put this in the temple, you know?
Thank you for my barbecue chicken salad and my quart of tomato soup.
Yeah.
I understand I got two orders of better lettuce.
Is this sugar fish?
Thanks, man.
You got the garlic bread in the trunk, or where's that at?
Just go grab that.
No, I said no to the garlic bread, baby.
I'm healthy.
I got the garlic bread in the trunk.
Opt out of it, which I like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which I like.
Because if they give me the garlic bread, I eat the garlic bread.
Let's be honest.
David, it's time for your final pick.
So my final pick, I had to go to one that was personal to me.
And this might, much like Tal, I don't think this really was outside of Aurora, Colorado from when I was 18 to 21.
I never really, for sure never heard it on a rap song.
But in terms of fighting, and I've said it before.
I've done it before. Wow. It's pretty cool. In terms of fighting, i've said it before i've done it before wow cool in terms
of fighting we used to call fighting get the heads really me and him could get the heads wow
we could get the heads right now like that's bro i don't give a we'll go we'll go to sonic we'll
get the heads in sonic i live right next to sonic we'll meet me at sonic i got a run 44 right now
we get the heads damn yeah get the heads. Damn. Yeah, get the heads.
You are gnarly.
It was really the only, it was really only there and people from around there.
I like that.
That I ever heard say it, but it was like a good thing to say when you're pretending not to be afraid of a dude who's 25.
Yeah, you can get it out without your lip quiver.
Yeah.
Yeah, we get the heads right now, bro.
Tell them more to come.
I give a fuck about up the street. Tell them. Come on, we'll get the heads. now, bro. Tell them where to come. I give a fuck about
up the street.
Tell them where to come.
Come on, we'll get
the heads.
That made me nervous
just thinking about
when you're like 17
and there's a 25-year-old
who wants to beat you up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they will.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With no concern.
They don't give a shit.
He's a father.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a job.
He's been paying taxes
for a long time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a 9-to-5 job.
Full coverage auto insurance.
I navigated the seas of Beaverton in such a way that I never had to face a situation where I might get beat up by a 25-year-old.
I kept it very soft.
It's also like a 25-year-old who's willing to fight a certain reason.
We ran into some people skating more often than not.
Like, that was where that shit happened.
We'd be skating outside.
Someone would say something unsavory, and we'd flip them off.
A couple times, they'd come back, and we're like, fuck, man.
This is the kind of person that'll beat up a bunch of kids.
They don't give a shit.
Never happened.
Maybe hit them with a car.
It was, yeah.
Gosh. Damn, get the heads. Get the them with a car. It was, yeah. Gosh.
Damn, get the heads.
Get the heads.
I like that.
Yeah, get the heads.
If anybody on Twitter was in Aurora at that time, I would really like some backup on the
guy.
Yeah, it was like, when I think about that term, I think of a certain place.
But that's what everybody was saying.
I'm going to throw my final pick in the ring here I like a grass instead of marijuana that one that could
still I could see someone being like hey man you got any grass and someone would be like I got some
grass I like it when people say grass a lot too I like it a lot I like reefer too reefer's great
any term for weed that's not weed I get get so, like, hey, got any weed?
Weed sucks is a term.
I want someone to say something different.
Weed is terrible.
Yeah, weed is terrible.
It's a terrible term.
So wait, if you have a lot of weed, you have tall grass?
You got tall grass.
Oh, damn.
Now we can't record any more episodes.
That's a far out situation.
That is far out.
That's far out to tall grass.
Dog.
If you roll up on some cool cats in the tall grass, you know what I mean?
And one of them offers you a knuckle sandwich, you got to squash it.
You got to squash it because my man was brawling.
You got to squash it even if he is brawling, right?
You know what I mean?
Tell him to leave it out because you're a solid dude.
All right?
And this is a fat situation you want to be in, won't it?
All right?
And if you're going to get the heads, you're going to get the heads, you know,
then you end up looking like a Clyde, all right?
You follow?
All right, you could be in Fat City, you know,
but instead you're going to be sitting there asking yourself,
what's your damage, all right?
You could have gone home, hit the skins, you know,
called an Audi 5000, beat the scene. I'm throwing a different one in there that I didn't even grab. Beat the scene. Beat the skins, you know, call an Audi 5000,
beat the scene.
I'm throwing a different one in there that I didn't even draft.
Beat the scene?
It could have been fat. Instead,
you're at home, staring at yourself in the mirror,
asking longingly,
what's up?
I was going to ask you to do that. That was a work of art.
I got them all in there.
It was like when you did the words. We drafted words to make you feel stupid and Ian just ripped them all off. I tried, man. I really was. I got them all in there. You got them. That was beautiful. Yeah. It was like when you did the words.
We drafted words to make you feel stupid, and Ian just ripped them all off.
I didn't know what 19 of them meant.
It was so tough.
Really?
Yeah.
We drafted 20.
It was rough.
Yeah.
So there it is, right?
There it is.
That sums it up.
Grass, dude.
Yeah.
Grass.
Grass on my shirt right now.
Blaze mugs.
There you go.
I got grass on mine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mr. Green, yeah.
Grass shirts, dude.
Yeah. I got grass in my pocket
too.
Oh yeah, so that sums it up.
Sean, you went first. You took
5,000. Squash it.
What's your damage? Hit the
skins and whazzap.
Will, you went second. You took harumph.
Oh, that's the one I left out.
Yeah.
As you beat the scene, you're going to throw your scarf around
your neck and yell, harumph.
Yes.
And then go home.
There it is.
Harumph, tall, cool cats, leave it out, and solid.
Yep.
David, you went 30 to fat, rollick, and Apollo.
Go ahead and get the head.
Yep.
Sounds about right.
I took knuckle sandwich, far out, fly, fat city, grass.
We left some good ones on the board.
There was one specifically.
I mean, it's so many.
I read one today.
It's called The Bear Got Him.
And that's what they used to say when someone had a heart attack.
The bear got him?
The bear got him.
That shit's gnarly.
I hated it.
Just for the record, I saw.
I was shocked when I saw that.
Getting a haircut called a wig chop?
I left out a huff is a Chicago term, I think.
Since I gave tall and realized that was Chicago.
Huff just means whack.
We just say huff.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, I like that.
I put blow trees.
Blow trees.
Oh, that's good.
Right in the kisser was the one that was the knuckle sandwich.
Knuckle sandwich.
Right in the kisser.
Right in the kisser.
Telling the girl she's beautiful.
Telling her she has a classy chassis.
It's kind of a follow-on.
Yeah.
Man, that's awesome.
Cruising for a bruising.
That was definitely on mine.
Yeah.
Your ass is grass was fun.
Bogarton.
Cut the cheese.
Oh, that's gross.
Oh, square up is good.
Square up is good.
I also put squares for cigarettes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or for nerds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Left-handed cigarettes for a joint
that's always been
one of my favorite ones
jazz sticks
jazz sticks
those are some good ones
so we want to hear
what you got
make sure you
make sure you hit us up
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Yeah, we saw this little perks
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Fuck with us on the tour.
Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Shout out to all the saints.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
Nice.
Shout out to fucking
shout out to the
Eastern Seaboard Seafood Festival
that Dave and I
are going to be throwing
ourselves later.
Hell yeah.
Shout out to my water diet. Shout out to the water diet. Shout outafood Festival That Dave and I Are gonna be throwing ourselves later Hell yeah Shout out to my water diet Shout out to the water diet
Smoothies
Shout out to Rico Nasty
I've just been into that
I've been into Rico Nasty
We just did it
Alright
Shout out to fucking
Super producer
Marissa
You're
Shout out to the six
On her behalf
Shout out to the really good
Jamaican food I had
The last time I was in Toronto
Shout out to Shit I mean You're killing it Shout out to the really good Jamaican food. I had the last time I was in Toronto. Shout out to,
uh,
shit.
I mean,
I didn't kill it.
Shout out to killing it,
dude.
Shout out to fucking left-handed cigarettes.
Shout out to juvenile and more important than all of that.
Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy.
Everything.
Y'all get it.
Y'all get it. fantasy everything shakakity yoxity yeah that was a
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