All Fantasy Everything - Sounds (w/ Stephen Agyei, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

You know, those things that you hear. No, not the voices in your head.   Episode Guest: Stephen Agyei @stephenagyei (IG: @stephenagyei1)   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel) Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan) David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87) Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything in the entire world. Anything that's out there, baby, we can fantasy draft it. Today, we are drafting sounds. Our guest today is the hilarious stand-up comedian, Stephen A.J. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. And with me, as always, are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,

the podcast that is currently planning races. Foot races for high flames. I'm going to do better this year. I'm going to be ready for it. I'm going to stretch my hammies. And Jeff Tice, if you're listening, you are. I know you're listening. I'm coming for you.

Damn. You're soft. Oh, man. You're soft, bro. You hear? That is a tall. I love you, Sean. That is a tall.

Heist is hooping two, three times a week. I think he's got maybe some stride length on you. He might. But that race last year did not go great. I didn't lose that poorly. Anyway, regardless, Jeff, you hear me? I'm coming for you.

You're a soft dad. Damn. Is the lineup yet out? Oh, the lineup is out. We can start making brackets immediately. Some of it. I'll mop up three-fourths of that initial lineup. We should have a pool and bed on that shit.

We were trying last year. Do you think Shane would race me? Yes, I do. I don't think he would. I don't think Shane would race anybody. I don't think he would race anybody. I've seen Shane get buck. You give him a couple little bowls of loudmouth soup

he'll race you dude i don't want any i don't want people to be drunk for the races though besides like i'll be drunk officiating but i just feel like if somebody gets i don't want people to fall people were falling sometimes last year yeah and that was sober so like i feel like we can't be having people i was so scared i was gonna fall when i got cooking when i got my version of cooking and i knew i was gonna lose i was like i'm when I got cooking, when I got my version of cooking, and I knew I was going to lose. I was like, I'm still running. And the last thing you want to do is fall forward. It's such a bummer.

And everybody was cold. Everybody was doing it on cold. That's what Blair, because Blair's an athlete, and she's watching all this run. She's like, you guys are going to snap a hamstring. Someone's going to snap a hamstring. It's just going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Daniel Vanirk looks like an athlete to me i think he's fast you know what i'm looking at the line up right now joe weighs 40 45 pounds now there's

no way i could be him will miles i'll be will i'm talking about me dude i'm just feeling now i'm feeling froggy i'm out here i'm out here'm feeling feisty. I'm like my hands shaking. I think Will could be sneaky fast. I think Will Miles is sneaky fast. I think Adam Caden Holland is probably actually fast. Oh, Caden's got a chest on him. Look at Adam. He played soccer, dude. I can't believe it. He's all shredded. He could see neck muscles in ACH.

No, I don't got ACH. Billy Wayne is fast. No, yeah, Billy Wayne is fast. This is the fast festival, man. Maybe Orvidal? I festival man maybe Orvidal I don't think Orvidal is running anywhere not for me after I did the Grawlix podcast I found out he's sneakily unathletic

he's quick to be like no I don't do anything what about Sharpie Sharpie's pretty good actually Sharpie probably can ice everybody but he's shorter he used to play soccer too and his whole thing is just athletics he's shorter. He used to play soccer too. That's true. And his whole thing is just athletics. Like he's just

a pretty athletic guy. Yeah, dude. We went to the beach, Sig hanging out his mouth, but like the best baseball throw I've ever seen. He's just a sneaky, sneaky athlete. I might have to wait for further lineup announcements. Unless Shane Torres, if you're listening to this, I'm calling you to the carpet.

I think you could probably beat Simon Gibson. Yeah, I got Simon Gibson. I love Simon Gibson. I got Simon Gibson. You could probably beat Simon. I got Simon Gibson. I'm 6'3". You know what I mean?

I'm in the gym every day. You got a big gait. You got to think about height. Yeah. Sneakily intimidating calves, though, too. You've got your calves. Ian's got some icy calves. So you go, ooh, that motherfucker might have a start on his ass. Wait until you see me at

High Plains this year. I've been like, the biceps are popping right now. I'm like, I'm as brawny as I've been in a long time. Damn. Alright, I gotta get on it then. Brawny. I know, I'm honestly, I'm trying to like, I wanna look decent. It's always fun. It's like summer camp. I'm honestly, I'm trying to like, I want to look decent. It's always fun.

It's like summer camp, as close as we get. This guy who wants to look decent is Sean Jordan. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar, Mel Jordan on Instagram. Sean doing chest presses. Sean doing pec flies. What are you, what's your routine? If you're going to be getting on point. I've just been trying to skate as much as I can and walk 10,000 steps a day.

And I've actually been paying a little attention to what I eat. Not full attention, but I'm trying. I eat the greens every day. Half cups of hot sauce? Yeah. Dude, I seriously do make myself cut down. And then I'll tell Lauren. She's like, that's a cut down version.

I'm like, yeah, dog. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to tell it was pizza you know watching my diet oh god i would i mean this is a a normal refrain for heavier dudes but i would your metabolism i would fuck i would fucking murder somebody for it what's your doodoo's like though i have i've always felt like you might have a good question complicated complicated doodoo scape. Really? Yeah, they're pretty. Yeah, especially now since like ever since COVID,

since things got more less erratic for me, it's more like wake up, solid one within probably an hour every day and then maybe another one later in the day, depending on what kind of mood I'm in, if I'm anxious or whatever. But like pretty solid hour into the day, I get the good one out. Now, if you want to hear me talk more about that, go ahead and come to Comedy Corner Underground, Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 18th and 19th.

Capitol Hill Comedy Bar, Seattle, Washington, September 6th. Bosses Comedy Club, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, August 25th. I'm also going to be hosting That Sounds Decent, which is a music festival in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, August 26th. And a live album recording in

Portland, Oregon, October 29th. Mississippi Pizza. Mississippi Studios, not pizza. Tickets going fast, much to the chagrin of my esteemed colleague, Oney and Carmel. I'm afraid nobody's going to that show. Please come out to those shows. I'm very excited about this stand-up that I'm doing

right now. I haven't ever said that in my whole life. I've never actually had any confidence in it. This stuff I feel is great. So come on out and see it. I'm happy with it. David Bore is here. CoolGuyJokes37 on Instagram. Bring David a plate tour.

Yeah. All over these United States of America. Dave, where can people see you? BringDavidAPlate.com, the aluminum foil tour. I'm going to rattle off the cities again, just so you know. Birmingham, Alabama, Asheville, North Carolina, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Nashville, Tennessee, Raleigh, North Carolina, Austin, Texas, Denver, Indianapolis, Indiana, Morgantown, West Virginia,

St. Louis, Missouri, New York City, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Worcester, Massachusetts. Worcester. And that's it. Now, I couldn't help but hear Chattanooga. You say Chattanooga. Chattanooga, Tennessee. I would say Chattanooga. I don't know.

I don't know. I feel like Chatt. I don't think it matters. I like Chattanooga. Chatt, Chatt. Or maybe, no, no, I think Chatt. I think you're all right. Chatt, Chattanooga. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like Chatt. I don't think it matters. I like Chattanooga. Chatt, Chatt. Or maybe, no, no, I think Chatt. I think you're all right. Chatt, Chatt, dude.

That's a good group thread to get on the Chatt, Chatt. I think Chattanooga's happy to be included in the conversation. If it's getting said at all. Are you doing one-nighters in any of these places? Are you doing, like, weekends? Yeah, it's a mix between St. Louis is a weekend. I think a couple of them are weekends, but it's mostly one-nighters.

New York City is a one-nighter. Worcester, Mass, Morgantown. Oh yeah, a lot of one-nighters. Just me, I'm going to have some merch. I'll have the merch up soon. It's pretty fun merch. And we're just going to have a good time. My hour is good.

And then San Francisco, November, we're going to try to record a special there in you with the band Lance Bangs and some other people. And maybe somebody from Portland drives down as soon as they can get the date. You can't drive. Chuck Klosterman.

Yeah, Chuck Klosterman's going to come. And the lead singer for Modest Mouse is going to, whatever his name is. Isaac Brock. You should probably fly, though. I like to drive. Either way. It sucks having a car in the city. But either way, you know, yeah. Come out.

My hour. Blazing right now, man. I just did Looney's Comedy Corner in Colorado Springs to warm up. That's by the hip-hop collective, The Looney's, right? That's their comedy club? Yeah. I had 10 hours, but they let me in either way. Oh, fantastic.

David now takes sacks to the face just like the loonies did yeah uh david hits me with a with a picture the other night with a hockey jersey that said sue on it and he goes this y'all oh yeah i was in a bar in uh in colorado springs and i was like also went to the world double dutch championship i saw that that looks sick dude, dude. So much fun. Better than the 50 Cent concert? Way better. Way better.

Shout out to Team Korea. I kind of thought you were robbed. Shout out to USA. Second and third is great. The Germans, the Belgians. Australia. Shout out to the guy from Australia who did 305 triple unders in a row. Whoa.

Who won? 305. Whoa. Who won? 305. Yeah, who won? What nation won? It was, it's all, it's different events. Who won Double Dutch?

Well, there's like multiple, so there's three, there's, no, there's three people, there's five people content. There's like multiple. So we were only there for like two hours. It was going on for a week.

Wow. That's sick. Yeah, yeah. So I i didn't i didn't even see most like the world championships yeah it was countries all over the world and it was really fun they all had their different like cheers like germany was like germany one two three and then the australians were like ozy ozy ozy oi oi, oi! And then the US was like, rights for all! Wouldn't it be crazy? That was something we were into.

We apologize! Hope the dollar stays stable. That's what they were yelling. But yeah, I love international competition. The whole shit felt like being at the D2 Mighty Ducks. How were the Dutch? There were no Dutch.

I didn't see the Dutch. I didn't see the Dutch. And by the way, I didn't think that the Dutch invented it. I thought it was like French fries. And then I looked it up and they said it was invented by the Dutch. And I was like, wow. Wow. And now they're out of the game.

I didn't see any. It's like what's happening to us in basketball, man. That's not... That's not it. All these other countries. You know, the big two. It's still 80% us. I'm just saying, fast forward 50 years,

what's going to be happening, man? I mean, Wemby is a thing that we don't have. We don't have one of those. What's going on? We don't have that, dude. France has it. Who would have thought? It's going to be happening, man? I mean, Wemby is a thing that we don't have. We don't have one of those. What's going on? We don't have that, dude. Yeah. France has it. Who would have thought? It's going to be weird. If you'd have come to me in 1998 and said, what country is going to develop the best

basketball player? France would be the last country, I said. Wouldn't even mention it. No, wouldn't come on. Wouldn't even mention it. Fucking France. Freaks. I'm going to dunk on Wemby, dude.

No. It's happening this year. to dunk on Wemby, dude. No. It's happening this year. Which one? No, you're not. Maybe not Victor. Is there a little one? Is there a Wemby that does open mics in Denver that's going to eke into high planes

that you're going to dunk on? I should never do that. I'm calling. I want to race Victor Wemby. How fast are you? He must be fast. He's got those long legs. I feel like that tops outimbanyama. How fast? He must be fast. Because he's got those long legs. I feel like that tops out someplace, though.

Yeah. If you got some good turnover, you could probably get his ass. I bet he's fast in 10, 20 yards. I'm looking up a giraffe's top speed. The further he goes, bro. I think it's like 40. Giraffes can run, yeah, 37 miles an hour. How did you have that ready?

Man, you know, when you speed, bro, you know all speed. You know what I mean? No, I don't know. I don't think anybody's ever said anything I related to less. It's in my whole fucking life. Yeah, the bitches call me Speed Daddy. You are fast as shit. It is.

For anybody listening, Steve is like, I've seen, man, I remember those Denver football comedy situations. It wasn't. We need to get that. No, we don't. It wasn't fair. It sucked. It sucked.

It was just Steve to the outside. Like a gazelle. I don't know if we made this clear yet. So Steve, Steve is the one who we've talked about multiple times, who was like mopping it up at the High Plains Barbecue a couple years ago. The foot races. Yeah. Steven and Edoia, where you two were like the ones cleaning house. And we've talked

about it probably 10 different times without you around. But yeah, so this is the Steven that was killing everyone. So if y'all want to come catch me out, I'm taking my Patreon. We actually foot race. catch me out. I'm taking my Patreon. We actually foot

race. Pay me $5 a month you get to foot race me. Steven AJ is here. Steven AJ on Twitter and that is Steven with a, hold on, I want to get the exact spelling, with a PH and then AJ is A-G-Y-

E-I. That's the one. Follow him on there. Is it the same on Instagram? Except with a one afterwards. Some bastard. Somebody got me, man. They will never give it up either is the crazy thing. And you're like, please.

I never even asked. Do people just ask? I've asked a bunch. I've asked on Instagram. I used to ask on Twitter when it mattered. Now I'm just like, whatever. Yeah, I've asked asked on instagram and i never even get a response that's never even been read honestly you and them other messages how long ago how many followers did you have when you asked oh it's been a minute i don't know uh probably not a i don't know it's probably been

like it's like you have equal if you have equal followers to the other one He's gonna be like What? No I'm the real Sean Jordan There's a Sean Jordan who's a Canadian rapper And I think that's the one who's got it And I think he's got more followers I'm an American rapper So we're different

Where can people see you do stand-up comedy? This is going to come out I feel like It's gonna come out the second Thursday in August if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, second Thursday in August. Wow, how about that? Shit, what do I have coming up? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know I'll

be doing something in Santa Barbara on the 19th. Don't remember where, what, but you know. Hit the IG if you want. I'll actually... What else do I have on the books? I'm going to be at Looney's coming up Hit the IG if you want. I'll actually... What else do I have on the books? They'll be in October. I'm going to be at Looney's coming up.

I think October 20th and 21st or 21st. Whatever the Friday, Saturday shit was. I was unprepared for this part. No, you're good, man. But it's all right. I'll be out there in the streets. You know, follow him. Find me on the gram and we can figure it all out. I'll post them as they come.

You know what I mean? There it is. There you go. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, tech talk. Follow me on tech talk. I'm doing real silly,

real silly stuff over there. Uh, you can see me August 15th with Sean Jordan, Kyle canane, Shane, Brendan and Imani at the Star Theater doing a charity gig for the Crayon Kids musical theater

program where we're trying to make sure they have a rehearsal space. All the proceeds go to charity. So that's a really good cause. Come out on a Tuesday night. We'll have that club going up on a Tuesday. Yeah, I'm going to go up on a Tuesday. I already got the night off. I already got the night off duty, man. I'm out. I'm going to be out there downtown. We're going to be having a good time.

We're going to be having a good time. Downtown, dude. We're going to go to the two. We're going to be dancing to Heartbeats by the Knife. On whatever the fuck that means. Sounds like, yeah. I'll turn up. I'll do that. Then, after

I survived that encounter, you can come see me and Sean Jordan, actually, at the House of Comedy in Vancouver, British Columbia, November 30th through December 2nd. And then I will be at the Vulcan Gas Company in Austin, Texas. And that's December 8th and 9th, I believe. Or it's the 9th and 10th. But I think it's the 8th and 9th. Going to be out there celebrating Hanukkah, eating brisket, doing stand-up comedy.

Also, High Plains, keep your eyes peeled. Two live AFEs and a stand-up show. It's going to be dank. Why don't you plug that during your plugs? All right? Shit, man. Let's race. Let's race about it.

Why don't you plug that during yours? Why don't we fucking lift about it, bro? Dude, I think I want to see. If you race me, I'll deadlift you, whatever the fuck that means. I'll do it against think I want to see a deadlift. Let's get some deadlift bars out there. If you race me, I'll deadlift you, whatever the fuck that means. I'll do it against you.

You'll do a deadlift event against me? I will do any kind of weightlifting event you'd like to do against you. We can see how I do. You'd like to give yourself a chance.

I would love to. We'll have to figure out a formula. I would leg press you. I would challenge you on a leg press, maybe, if we could organize that. I weighed 400 pounds for so long. That would be such a mistake.

It's the only thing I'm confident in involving any kind of weight pushing. I couldn't put enough weight on the leg press machine. That ran out of room. I bet you could do a bunch of push-ups, Sean. I can't do push-ups. I could probably do 10 where I touch my chest and that's it he can do more push-ups than me he's done he did it when he was 400 pounds i watched him i've done 40 today yeah dude i could 40 40 push-ups would take me an hour and a half if they if they had to count no way really take good take good good ones yeah i want to have

probably if you just started like doing like 10 11 11, 12, you know what I mean? Add a push, push up each day. I feel like you'd be up there quick, man. We did for the Grawlix podcast. My challenge was a hundred pushups a day for a week. And I was, I could barely move my arms after the first day. I did like 10 every hour. I was dying, man.

But I bet you could run like a long way. I, well, I ran a half marathon and it was pretty easy when i did it i trained and everything no no 10 10 years ago but i think i could do it again i want to do a full marathon but it takes like all of my ability when i run i can't skate or do anything else this is fun this is fun right everybody laughing having a good time people having a great time come see all of us do stand-up comedy out on the road we're all very funny i'm also very excited about my hour i feel like everyone's hitting it right now man i feel like there's a lot of really good well yeah there's two strikes going on yeah nothing else to do if you're good at it i feel like you're doing well right now. I had a lovely...

I picketed with Al Madrigal the other day and just hung out with him for an hour. It was absolutely lovely. San Francisco's finest. We got here today not to talk about how lovely Al Madrigal is, although he is a lovely, lovely man, but also to fantasy draft sounds. Yeah.

Ooh, there's some good ones. There's some good sounds out there. We're going to be fantasy drafting them. I had a lot of fun putting this list together. Yeah. Ooh, there's some good ones. There's some good sounds out there. We're going to be fantasy drafting them. I had a lot of fun putting this list together. Yeah. Yeah, mine's all over the place. Yeah. The way we determine the order of this draft

is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ooh, David wins. An unnatural victory of paper against two scissors. The odd man out. David has the winner.

You've been winning a lot. Damn. He's the fucking winner. Hell yeah, baby. It can be. You can feel it. It's not on me. It's in me. You know what I'm talking about? Whoa, whoa. Hold on. Pause. Please elaborate further. Winning. That's not a...

I refuse to play P.O.S. But it is winning. I don't P.O.S. As the winner of Rock Paper says, it is incumbent upon you to determine... I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And we're dessert.

It's like Donkey Kong's barrels rolling down the screen. It's a good one. He drops the barrel, it goes down to the left, and then it goes down, then it goes down to the right, then it drops down, down the left, It's a good one. He drops the barrel. It goes down to the left and then it goes down then it goes down to the right then it drops down

down the left then it drops down down to the right. Jafiel, you get it. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round.

That's how it works. David, with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be? David, Sean, Steven, Ian. Hot corner. Steven, Ian sounds like a smart dude.

Yeah. Steven, Ian, dude. Steven, he's like Steven Tyler's advanced Pokemon. He's got scarves tied to his bookcase, dude.

Yeah. He's out here. Steven, Ian. It's the final person who'll end the race war. It'll be the final mix of all the races. Of the big two. Of the big two.

He's what Gray could have been. The big two. It's killing me. There's so many more Asian people in the world. For real. It really is. Significantly more. Yeah, there's...

Most. Most. Shout out to the other races. Shout out to all the other races. Shout out to the Inuits. Shout out to the big ones. The whole PI community. I love what you guys are doing down there.

Yeah, absolutely. Especially shout out for Filipinos, man. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Definitely. Big ups. I saw a Filipino dude at the coffee shop today wearing three chains on a Monday morning. I was excited.

See, there you go. Yeah. They're having a good time. I live in a very Filipino area and it's lovely. Shout out to the Filipino guy in Journey. Yeah. Shout out to the Filipino guy in Journey, dude. Shout out to Jalen Green on the

Houston Rockets, who I think is like half Filipino. Shout out to CJ Toledano. The skater Margie Jillendahl, is that her last name? I don't know. She's a very good skateboarder. Shout out to the Coffman twins I grew up with, Filipino family. We used to go to their Filipino picnics, and it was dank.

A lot of good food. Shout out to that girl on that website. Mel DeMarcus? Yeah, you don't want to get too graphic about, you know, but she was Filipino,

you know, really enjoyed our time together. And finally, shout out to Lou Diamond Phillips. Yeah, LDP,

I still love La Bamba. Yeah. Oh, young guns, get off me You have the first pick in the Sounds All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft Before we get to that pick, we're going to take another Well, actually our first, for God's sake Short break This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by

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go crazy it's a summer session that's what we're made for baby you might not ever hear that again but we heard it this time and we're friggin back we've never been more back David Boyer

it's time for your first pick in the sounds all fantasy everything fantasy draft I'm taking cracking open a cold one yeah oh yeah get down for your first pick in the Sounds All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft. I'm taking Cracking Open a Cold One. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good sound.

It's the best. It's just like, it was one of the first things that popped in my head when we decided this. And it's just like, it's just, it sounds like what refreshment feels like.

Yeah. It sounds like relief, whatever that means. It doesn't have to be, a cold one is whatever cold one you want as long as it's cold it doesn't have to be a beer it can be a can of liquid death

which looks weirdly like malt liquor I don't know why they did that but it took me a long time to figure out that it was water like halfway through one this is the best malt liquor I've ever had. I've had nine liquid deaths, and I don't feel a fucking thing right now. Man, wouldn't it be great if taking a dookie, that was the sound?

Oh, my God. Man. You just fucked me up with that. Yeah. Replace the fart with the coke. Like, that's the sound it makes before it drops in. Yeah. Do you have something installed in your asshole where it did that?

I mean. I would like to think so. We're pretty early in the biohack phase, but I think there's probably somebody working on it. We are in the future. Elon Musk can't pour some money into that shit. He's going right to the brain implants. Start in asshole sound effects. Start with the butt.

Gotta start with the butt. You could load in a chip and it gave you all sorts of any, like you could have a lot of different sound effects when you pooped. We can't open it. That would be, oh man. I don't want to say pics, but like a creaky door opening. Farts could be so fun. Yeah, anything.

You could make your farts just be like George Bush talking or whoever you want. Yeah. Yeah, like you pick Siri, but you pick farting. It's like, do you want a British woman or an Australian man? You're not going to fool me again. And somebody's like, did you fart Ian? No, there's an Australian guy in my butt. No.

You got the runs. You'd be like, oh, is that DMX? That one is. That is how that sounds. No chip needed. No, no, no. I got that natural. When I have diarrhea, my asshole's like, what's the deal?

And it's also, it's called flesh in my flesh, blood in my blood. Yeah. Yeah, I got to eat more. Or it could also be called it's dark it's called flesh of my flesh blood of my blood yeah yeah i gotta eat or it could also be called it's dark and hell is hot that one feels way better it feels way better for having the runs hopefully it's not blood of my blood ideally yeah you might have to go to the doctor of my doctor yeah uh there's so much promise. It's like a, it's that, oh, what is that word? Where that scientist rang a bell in his dog's mouth? Pavlovian. Pavlovian.

Pavlovian. It's a Pavlovian. Thank you, guys. It's a Pavlovian response. It's just so, it's so perfect. It's so satisfying. When you can get your nail under and just do the whole thing in one crunch instead of like sometimes you know how you got to get your nail under and kind of pull the tab up a little bit and then reposition your finger to crack the whole thing it's fun when

you just grab it just get it open right away that's the best yeah it makes me wonder what happened when everybody when all the cans were those pull tab things did they not have that we were just talking about that they didn't but it was a lot easier to drink a beer when your in-laws were in the next room i'll tell you that it was still carbonated right that's i'm sorry that's such a stupid question no i don't know i think it's always been carbonated no it's not a dumb question i think it's a great question yeah isaac do you know no clue absolutely not not Isaac didn't know Cool Runnings Isaac's not gonna know about Cool Runnings He's never heard of it

Hey man I'm an immigrant okay Okay I'm gonna pull that card here So is Steven Yeah who are you talking to Well I was born here Yeah me too I'm from Beaverton Oregon But I did see fucking Hamilton

And he didn't mention not knowing about Cool Runnings In any of those songs God damn Not once Have you seen it yet, Isaac? What, Cool Runnings or Hamilton? I've seen Hamilton, I have not seen Cool Runnings No, no, no, no, I went out of order, bro

You went out of order, bro That's hustling backwards Hamilton before Cool Runnings? You can understand Cool Runnings just straight up. Hamilton, you got all that other shit in history. You know what I mean? I'll watch it this week. I'll watch it this week.

Cool Runnings speaks for itself. I promise there's no school rap in Cool Runnings. No, no, no. There's a little rhyme to it. It got a little feel the rhythm. Feel the rhyme. Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on out. Yeah. It's Hamilton time feel the rhythm. Feel the rhyme. Oh, yeah, yeah. They get. Come on out.

Yeah. It's Hamilton time, and then you can just do them both. I don't like Hamilton. When you're watching Cool Runnings, it never feels like a teacher who started dating a student pretty soon after she graduated. Whereas Hamilton has that feeling all the way through. But, yeah, cracking a cold one. That's my first pick. On a summer day, come on. Sean Jordan, time for your

first pick. The crackling of a fire. That's a good one. Really enjoy the nice crackle of a fire, especially like there's the fireplace fire, but I'm talking like a campfire when you're all sitting around. Maybe you've just done 15 or 16 of David's first sounds. And then you're just watching the fire, hearing it crack.

And it's the best because it's usually pretty quiet. And that's what you hear. It's just great. When you say fire, you specifically mean the children's hospital that you locked all the doors on, right? That's like that specific fire is what you want to hear. You're talking about me getting ready to lay down a track, baby. I'm freestyling the crackling. There we go. Fire, man. That crack what you want to hear. You're talking about me getting ready to lay down a track, baby. I'm freestyling the crackling. Oh, there we go.

Fire, man. That crackle coming out of my voice. Holy buckets, that guy. Quick draw McGraw, you went to art school. That's what you're talking about. Man, the crack of a fire. It's just you're having a good time. I've never been bummed out around a fire.

It's not bad stuff. It's good stuff. Good little campfire crackle. This is an interesting pick because it's a variable pick. Like the sound of a... I mean, there's slight variations on like a can opening, of course. But like the crackle of a fire, it's all over the place. There's a lot of different sounds in there.

And you can't summon it immediately. You got to let it come to you. Yeah. I get it, though, man. I like it. Sometimes I'll put that crackle fire thing to go to sleep on YouTube. That's why it knows.

That occupies the TV all the time around the holidays. Now that that's a thing, you just put the fireplace on your TV. It's the best. It doesn't bother me having the TV on constantly around Maxine when it's just the crackle of a fire. Do you guys have a fireplace? We do have a fireplace.

I got the fire pit in the backyard. I don't know. I appreciate the confidence, man. I don't know how to start a fire or how to maintain a fire in a fireplace. What are you talking about? Whoa, it's not rocket science, really? It's a little more complicated than people.

You don't just start a fire. You have to make sure your chimney's... One of the more basic human skills. You got to make sure your chimney's all clean. Clean. You got to make sure it's clean, too. You got to clean it. You got to make sure it's open. Clean. You gotta make sure it's clean, too. You gotta clean it. You gotta make sure it's open. See, all that's hard.

I'm not trying to do all that. What if I gotta go up on the roof for some reason? I ain't trying to do that. Watch a YouTube video. You're burning. Call a guy. Yeah, I think you're overestimating. Get Dick Van Dyke out there, dude. He'll sing a song and clean it at the same time. If the heat goes out, we'll start a fire.

Other than that, I think we'll leave the heater and the TV. You never started a fire for ambiance? You can do it. I've never... I don't think I've ever started a fire in a fireplace my whole life. I've probably only started maybe two or three legit, supposed-to-be-there campfires.

How many illigent fires have you started? I might have started a couple with a firework or two that weren't supposed to be there, campfires. How many Illigent fires have you started? I might have started a couple with a firework or two that weren't supposed to be there. But yeah, I think... But it's really nice. I think you would like it, man. I'm not the twisted fire starter, everybody thinks I am. Enjoy yourself, man.

No, clearly. You have a fireplace, man. Get in there. On a cool date. I think you'd really like it, Sean. I think I would, too. I'll pitch it. Have Laura clean out the chimney Call some British guys Have them sweep your shit

Chim chimery that shit And then you're good dude I believe it's pronounced chimichurri Chimichurri sauce Chimichurri sauce the chimney dude Chimichurri your chimney Slather up the walls of your chimney With chimichurri sauce your chimney, dude. Chimichurri your chimney. Slather up the walls of your chimney with chimichurri sauce. And then make yourself some chimichurri sauce.

It's not hard to do. You have a food processor? That's what he calls his butthole. He thought you were talking about his butthole. Honestly, for a second, I thought you said food processor. I got a food processor in my tummy. Yeah, yeah. A food processor is the chip you're going to have installed in your butthole.

I don't know if we have a food processor. We might. I bet you do. And Google how to make chimichurri and next time you cook a steak up, make yourself some chimichurri and really elevate the game, dude.

Next time I cook a steak up, what do you guys think I'm doing over here? You don't cook steaks? Oh, man, you're blowing it. No fires, no steaks. No fires, no steaks. I feel like that's all white people did

fires steaks lounge I was like god damn y'all are really doing it it was two of the big groups of things

oh yeah dude good time dude I want fires and steaks all the time too I've never I've never been a grillman

I like in theory I want to be a grill guy but I'm not I don't even have a grill that's the next step for the deck never been a grill man. In theory, I want to be a grill guy, but I don't even have a grill. That's the next step for the deck is getting a grill. You need to make a steak as a pan in an oven. Yeah, get a cast iron. I'm going to come over and make you a steak wearing a tank top

at your house next time I'm there. I'm going to go into your kitchen and make a steak. That shit don't threaten me. That'd be great then i'd sit on my couch and watch the fireplace on my tv and be dank steven it's time for your first pick man my first pick it's hard but i you know is it gonna be sexy nah i pulled back i i remixed it you know but it kind of sex it is of sexy, but in a different way. You know that clap in that hold song?

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's got another clap. No, the song that that. You know the famous hold song? What, hold? Are you saying like when you're on hold with a company? Oh, I thought you were saying a hold song. Oh, no. Yeah, that would have been different. What? Hold? Like when you're on hold with a company? Oh, I thought you were saying hold song. Oh, no.

Yeah, that would have been different. But on hold, and it starts in that that clap. I do know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's a good sound. That sound? That's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. You could have gotten that

later. Man. Yeah, but I had to deep cut. That's a deep cut. You could have gotten that later. Man. Yeah, but I had to start there because there's some shit I got to, you know, I got to. What? I'm missing it. I don't know what you're talking about. You know,

and it goes, do, do, do, do, do. I could probably, yeah, you probably. Like when you're on hold and like there's this song they play and it's got like that, right? Like, yeah, it goes,

it feels kind of distant. Am I on hold with a specific company here it's just like a general hold oh you'd be on you'd be on hold with like a chimney sweeping company and this is an aria it's called opus number one oh yeah i already got it pulled up i'm gonna you got it okay i'm gonna put in the group chat is Isaac, if you can, drop a little bit of this Opus No. 1. Drop that shit. In here. It's pretty good.

Oh, it's like. It is a good clap. Wake up to that fucking. Oh, man. It's like, nigga, I'm here. I hope the guy who composed this, somehow this podcast lands on his desk. Because you know that dude has put this shit out and he's like, nobody knows I did it. Yeah.

Yeah. He probably is like. Nobody knows it was me. Yeah. He probably layered that whole song. He's like, man, it needs something. He's got a coffee shop. He's got a coffee shop.

Threw that clap in. He's like man it needs something he's got a coffee shop he's got a coffee shop threw that clap in she's like that's it i like i like to think like his son was like playing on the floor and looked up and saw his father and clapped at him he's like wait you did it do it again you put yourself through college this guy's at a restaurant now getting shit service and he's just like if they only fucking knew if they knew they only knew who they just brought cold soup out to they wouldn't that's my shit on the plot on the fucking overspeak i'm the fucking john williams of hold music and you're fucking bringing me you're bringing me three rolls bring five rolls man i love that song, man. That shit feels like, but that clap though, the way it starts,

you just, whoo, it says something. I feel invincible. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just, and cool at the same time. It's two guys.

Is it two guys? It's two dudes. Tim Carlton and high school friend, Derek Deal. Ooh, Derek Deal, dude. Derek Deal was made for a career in music. Tim Carlton, he's a firsty-firsty.

Yeah, Carlton, or is Carlton a lasty-firsty? You know what I'm saying? Carlton seems like it's, it doesn't seem like, I feel like we know it because of Carlton Banks, but I think it sounds like as much of a last name as a first name to me. So he could be a firsty, firsty, lasty? Maybe.

He might be your standard firsty, lasty. Unlike you, who is definitely a firsty, firsty. I'm a unisex firsty, firsty through and through. I need some male joins. Is there a woman, Sean? There's a woman, Sean? Sean Young, Ace Ventura,

Lieutenant Einhorn. She's Sean Young She's a girl What's up I had that locked I was waiting for someone To bring that up Okay

Okay I was I woke up I was like I hope somebody I hope somebody Asked me about a female Sean today

Firsty firsty Shonda Rhimes Time for The whole The whole song clap sound time for my first pick sitting there I gotta take the sound of a basketball

going through a hoop and hit nothing but dead I'm taking the swish yeah that was on my list on a good like either nylon or rope or a chain a chain dude get out of town. Yeah, but just that

when you're watching NBA players warm up and you just hear that like, yeah. But it's even more satisfying if you're the person responsible. I've been taking it to the courts lately and I've been really trying to do this 10 free throws in an hour thing and I haven't really got a good

chunk of time to try it. I will say it's harder than I anticipated it being. Like make 10 in an hour? I think I could get 10 free throws in a row in an hour if I had a nice controlled hour. But Ian and David seem to think I'm out of my mind by saying that because I don't play basketball. It's harder than I thought. Yeah. hour, but Ian and David seem to think I'm out of my mind by saying that. Cause I'm not like, I don't play basketball. It's harder than I thought. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, I can, I can make a free throw, but I got up to six the other day and I missed one and probably took 10

minutes. I got up to six and missed one and I lost my mind. I was so mad. I was so mad. Can't do it. That's why, man, I think I can. I got six in 10 minutes the other day and that was just messing around with my daughter at an outdoor court with no one to rebound for me. You can in the way you could swim from Alcatraz to San Francisco if like a bunch of sea otters

decided to help you. Like if somehow forces conspired to help you make these 10 hoops. I love you. I just think you, I mean, you know what I mean? Like you force us into these positions where you set out unobtainable.

So it's sort of unrealistic goals for yourself. And then like, as, as your friends, we want to support you, but it's like, Oh, I can definitely make 10 free throws.

I could swim from Alcatraz to San Francisco. I could, I'm at the top 1% of all. I am. You know what I mean? Like you, you force us into unreasonable positions as a, as a prerequisite of being your friends. When you say them all right in a row like you, you force us into unreasonable positions as a, as a prerequisite of being your friends.

When you say them all right in a row like that, I sound like such a prick. Because we're not good friends. We're very good friends. We tell you, perhaps, perhaps you can't do these things. Whereas only a good friend would say, absolutely, you could. You thought you could swim to San Fran from Alcatraz? I still, I still think I could do that. You put past tense on it. How far, how far is the swim? Far enough for he can't do it? I still think I could do that. You put bass tents on it.

How far is the swim? Far enough where he can't do it. I'll let you know. I'm not going to breaststroke the whole time. I'm saying a lot of doggy paddling, a lot of floating, but I think I can do it. The fact that you're not going to breaststroke the whole time is why you can't do it.

I think I can. That seems like the least sufficient way to get that far. I mean, you gotta tread water to get the juice. You're gonna die, man. Damn. You're gonna die. That's gonna be embarrassing. Nigga tried to doggy paddle

from Alcatraz. Who? Yeah, Firsty Firsty tried to doggy paddle from Alcatraz. Some Firsty Firsty tried to doggy paddle from Alcatraz some Firsty Firsty from South Dakota tried to doggy paddle from Alcatraz today and this was his lasty

this was his lasty day on earth tragedy strikes the San Francisco Bay it ain't happening a white man has washed up on the sea one of the ten most notable figures from South Dakota according to one website Inhabitant. A white man is washed up on the sea. One of the 10 most notable figures from South Dakota, according to one website. Seven, dude. Seven.

Seven, my bad. Seven famous people you might run into in South Dakota. I think four of them don't live there. One of them, I don't even know has ever been there in that article. I think they just said you might see them at the Badlands or something. One of them oil? Oil. Fucking Kevin Costner, January Jones, me. I don't know. Anyway.

I'm staying for my second pick, so Swish for my first one. Sounds fantastic. Especially if it's well, if it was Damian Lillard. Man, what a shame. It's a tough time you're going through, man Well, who knows?

This comes out in a couple weeks Who knows what will happen Maybe he's back all in Maybe he's back all in We don't know I want the best for that, man Me too Whatever makes him happy

He's done enough But I'm taking the sound Specifically of a Nerf ball In one of those Nerf pump guns when it comes out and it goes FUNK! Oh, that's a good sound. Oh, yeah.

Out of the ballzooka or something? Yeah, out of the ballzooka. Yeah, yeah. It's a thick sound. That's the only way I can really describe it. It's a thick sound. Yeah, I like that. You it it feels satisfying it's an it's one of those sounds where something's about to happen which means somebody's about to probably get hit with a nerf ball which is fun

you can get a bunch of them in succession which is also like it's every every way it can be delivered the The Nerf ball sound is arguably the chicken of sounds. You know what I mean? There's so many great ways to prepare it. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Any which way. Any which way you want. Flip it and ride that beetle boat, T-Y-O-M-I.

You know? Yeah, exactly. That's exactly right. Tag team. I'm all on board for those. Yeah, it is satisfying. Maybe I don't know what it sounds like. We couldn't have a Nerf fight at High Plains because it would turn into a real one, I bet.

Somebody will get their feelings hurt. If somebody got gotten too hard. Definitely a water fight. Yo, with those new water guns too, you seen those? Has Instagram been trying to sell you those too? Who? No. Instagram is trying to tell me to buy these new water guns too you've seen those has instagram been trying to sell you those too instagram is yeah they're trying to tell me to buy these new water guns these new fangled water guns what are they doing in the water gun space now they shoot like little lasers it's like it like comes out like like a bullet almost like yeah like it's not a stream like a water slug or something yeah it's incredible yeah there you go like yeah like a water slug i just wasn't made for these times

we live in the future do you think people still lie about their mom saying they couldn't get wet you remember that shit man i read that one two kids birthday party the other day and i saw some parents telling their kids not to get wet and I'm like, it's water, bro. It was 85 degrees out. There was a tiny little kiddie pool and some of the kids were getting in the pool and their parents would be like, no, no, no, no. It's like, why? I mean, getting in a pool. What can't get wet?

That's also unreasonable. That's also stupid, but like if you're in the cul-de-sac or on the street outside of your house and your mom said you can't get wet, shut up. No, she didn't. Dude, it's crazy. Yeah. It's July. It's July. You'll be dry again before you go back in. Yeah, sit your bitch ass in this pool. Yeah.

How'd you get in there? You can't get your Oshkosh bagosh wet because it's gonna fucking rust? What are you talking about? We gotta go see my grandma. Don't wet up my Oshkosh. I gotta go see my grandma. I gotta go see my grandma.'t wet up my Oshkosh I gotta go see my grandma I gotta go see my grandma if somebody said

they couldn't get wet these are bugle boys everybody it like united it united everybody else against that person I mean we would just be like well you're gonna be soaked

of course it's water again I'm just like I don't even feel bad yeah Nerf gun sound Steven top of your second pick

man number two I like the screen, alright It's some panic, white panic You know That shit like That's what you put on instead of white noise When you go to sleep, you put on white panic

I hear, like, you remember When they rushed to storm the Capitol And that gun went off and they shot the lady And then everybody White panic. I hear, like, you remember, like, when they rushed to storm the Capitol, and that gun went off, and they shot the lady, and then everybody, ah! Oh. This is not what I thought this was going to be. Man, I love that sound.

You know, the switch of a basketball. Anytime white people run around screaming scared. There's a catharsis to it. Yeah, it's like, ah. Niggas walk around cool but you just see white panic i'm trying to think if i've ever been i don't think i've ever been in like a white panic situation where i've been screaming for... No avocados. Oh, sorry. Avocados are the worst, man. What? I'll go on record.

Wait, what are you saying? Avocados are the worst. You go to the store and you see... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. White women at the store, no avocados, and they... You know, panicking. Or you just walk by them on the street and they didn't see you.

Oh, yeah. That shit happens regularly. Or you just walk by them on the street and they didn't see you. Oh, yeah. That shit happens regularly. Or just like you come into an elevator and you see them look at you. Yeah. When was the last time you had avocado? Max has it all the time. I mean, I'll try it every now and again. Like sometimes now she'll want me to take a bite of whatever she's eating.

So I'll try. I'll choke it down. I hate it. A little salt on it? I hate it. So you don't eat guacamole either? God, no. We talked about this a couple weeks ago in Denver.

I guess we must have. No, I can't. You know what to do? Good. Cut an avocado in half. Crack an egg in there. And then put a little salt and pepper and bake that shit for like in the oven for like, you know, 10.

Get that over easy, over medium, and just eat that motherfucker. You know, the best way to do it is take an avocado, cut it in half, throw it straight into the garbage, and then go have some pizza or something. Avocado's the worst, man. Or hide it in a water balloon until some dork gets water and then throw it at him as hard as you can. Like a rock and a snowball.

So many of your food takes just make me so angry yeah they've never been extremely popular except for like the four kids i grew up with where they're all like yeah avocados suck the five with like a bunch of elementary school kids right now you know what i mean like you you could hang out with a bunch of eight-year-olds i like guacamole in elementary school i don't even think i knew what it was until I was 20. Avocados, I, like, didn't like when I was a little kid, and then I was like, that's my opinion, and I didn't have it for a long time, and then I finally, I was like, oh, let me give it a try,

and I was like, oh, this is wonderful. What was I thinking? I was like that with eggs for a long time. I really hated eggs when I was a kid. Does eggs stink? I mean, I get why eggs freak, you know? Something about the texture used to kill me. Like, I'd gag if I ate them, you know? Damn. And then, yes, at some point, I just was like, Adam, and I'd gag if I ate them. Damn. And then, yes, at some point, I just was like, Adam, and I was like, oh, shit.

Eggs rule. Sean's going to white panic. Sean's going to white panic if we don't get to his next pick. So, Sean, go ahead. Come for your second pick. And I rarely, I've probably done this two or three times, but I've heard it so much. And I'm jealous when I hear it. I love it. It's one of the best sounds.

It's the perfect whack of a nicely driven golf ball. It is. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Man. That's a good one. I've only got, shit, three or four ever that would actually qualify. And the golf ball didn't go anywhere I wanted it to go, but I hit it square.

But going with Sharpie or Ian or Shane Brendan, people that know what they're doing, it is such a cool sound. Yeah. It's vaguely metallic kind of too. Yeah, dude. It sounds hollow and official and sturdy. It's just all these weird things mixed into one.

They named a golf club company after it, I think. I imagine Ping is named after... Probably, yeah. I think, right? The sound it makes when you hit a golf ball well. Yeah, but I feel like Ping doesn't represent it the way it is. It doesn't feel like... It feels like it would start with a T

even. It's close to like a thwack or something. I don't really... Twank? Twank, yeah. I can't spell it. Don't Google it, guys. Don't. Yeah, it is. It's like trying to spell the words like Nell would say. You just can't. it don't google it guys don't yeah it is it's like trying to spell the words like Nell would say

you just can't I don't know it's just a sound and it just it sounds so you also get if you're close enough you also get the swish

of the club yeah which is nice yeah that scoop cutting through the wind yeah and just like

chopping the top of that grass just barely like woo shit yeah that's barely that's why I like to be able to hit a ball like a long way it's like sure it'd be satisfying to see it go a long way where I wanted it to but I really just want to be able to make that

sound more than anything it's such a dope sound take a golf lesson I think I might I'm kind of waiting my feet is not whatever I just I'm so sore when I skate anymore I can feel it going away I can feel'm kind of waiting My feet Is not Whatever I just I'm so sore when I skate anymore I can feel it Going away

I can feel it Kind of slipping out of my fingers This summer So I think golf Your feet? I can just feel my abilities Ah

Dwindling More than they were So I'm like I think golf I think golf's on its way in And I'm fine This might be

This might be your last Summer to race This strike Has been making me feel old This might be your last summer to race. This strike has been making me feel old. This could be your last race wars. As long as my feet work, we'll be having race wars.

Man, if I had a dollar for every guy I've heard say that. Well, once he transitions to golf, famously, there's no racial politics on a golf course. That's true. He'll be alright.

Smooth sailing. Yeah, go sit in the clubhouse at any golf course. Real tolerant. Golf course is the one place Jews aren't white yet. It's really your final proving ground. Well, the Irish have no problem so anyway uh yeah the the nice whack of a properly driven golf ball excellent david time for your second and third picks all right second

fic is kind of weird so it's like and i don't even do this particularly a lot but i do like the sound of like have you ever been at the barber And they shave you with a straight razor Oh yeah And that's sort of like Yeah That like razor on your skin But not cutting your skin Cutting the hair

That sound That's interesting It's just something about it feels so good It's a sound you don't hear A lot of other places You know what I mean but it's like very Specific and it's just I've heard it it feels great when it's on your face

I've heard it when I'm like next to Somebody getting cut ooh they're doing it And I still think it sounds nice It's just like there's something about it It's just like a nice grounding sound How would you even describe that sound I don't I was thinking about that I don't know what about it it's just like a nice grounding sound how would you even describe that sound it's like i don't i was thinking about that i don't know what it's almost like it like a i guess it

sort of micro crunch scraping scrape yeah see when i when i hear it happen to someone else it kind of makes my butt hurt a little bit there's like some some sounds make like what kind of what kind of sound would that make? Like a deep... Like a deep in, like up farther in my stomach almost. There's this weird sensation I get sometimes when I get grossed out. Oh, it's gross to you? Not gross. It just makes me feel weird.

But like this in a weird way. Yeah, I kind of like the sound though. It's one of the few ones where it's like, man, this feels cool. I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's another like the sound, though. It's one of the few ones where it's like, man, this feels cool. I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's another one of those official ones. Yeah, yeah. It just always sounds.

I don't know. It's like it feels good. You ever contemplated becoming a straight razor or a home guy? Oh, I don't cut any of my own hair. Yeah, that's great. I think that's like a good rule of the butt. Well, it's because when I was a kid, I started trying to shave, and I just get razor burn too bad.

What do you do on your neck? You got a little shave for your neck. No, I go to the barber. Every time you trim your neck hair, you go to the barber? I go to the barber every other week. Really? Yeah. I didn't know.

I got to shave my neck hair like every three days, otherwise it gets like it grows into my chest. I got clippers though, so I'll- No, I i go to the same barber i go to the barber every other week shout out to my old barber i got from steve who went to ask africa and now text he went to africa for like four months i was like bro i can't wait for you and then now he texts me sometimes he's like it's dj i am back and like, man. You know this is dead. Don't be like this. I got a new thing across town.

She lives closer to my house. I can't have my new barber seeing your name pop up on my phone. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to have that conversation. This is done. Yeah. Don't text me on Saturdays. He could fade like a heat, man.

Great guy, though. All right. Anyways. Yeah. So that shaving the face. And then the next one Saturdays. He could fade like a heat, man. Great guy, though. Alright, anyways, yeah, so that shaving the face. And then the next one I have, this is another weird body one. The sound, like, it's usually if you're hungry or

something, but, like, the sound when your stomach audibly gargles. Oh, your stomach growling. You know what I mean? Where it's like, it's just, nothing else sounds like that ever anywhere it's so weird it's such a weird sound especially when you can hear it audibly yeah you're like what the fuck is going on in there sometimes it sounds like an old door opening like shit that happens in your body that you're not doing it's your body's just doing it for you

that's wild where your body's like we're doing this you have no control over it this is what the world's gonna hear is your stomach going like exactly sometimes you get that big that like kind of that big flop one too that what is that like it sounds like you're like falling down like i think it's air moving i have no idea like where there should be food and that's why it thinks you're hungry or something or like i like why does that mean you're hungry when your stomach's growling why does that notoriously mean that because it doesn't always happen when i'm hungry i feel like neither no my shit be happy all that i could i could have just eaten 30 wings and it'll happen i mean it's a different reason that's because you woke dmx up

yeah it's dark and reason. That's because you woke DMX up. Yeah, it's dark and hell's about to get hot. Hell's never cold. It's always hot. It's slipping. It's falling. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it is and when it comes, but yeah, it's just like, it's because it's kind of a nice sound. I don't know.

I do kind of like it and you don't hear it a lot. So it's fun to hear. It is nice. The little reminder, you're like, I'm a creature. I do kind of like it and you don't hear it a lot so it's fun to hear. It is nice. It's a little reminder. You're like, I'm a creature. Yeah, I'm a weird animal out here. Just walking around this thing. Sometimes I hear my cat's little belly do it which is fun. Oh yeah, I've heard it

with animals too for sure. Yeah, I just like it. Nowhere on my list but excellent pick. It is a nice little sound. Sean Jordan my list, but excellent pick. Excellent pick. It is a nice little sound. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick.

So this is an odd one because I hate bugs. I hate them with everything I got. But it is one of the things you eat, though. You do eat bugs. I've eaten a bug or two. I ate a moth one time. I beer bonged a silverfish. We don't need to go into that too much. It still makes Adam want to barf when I

bring it up. It makes me want to barf right now. So the sounds of cicadas that like neener neener neener. You like that sound? I love it because to me that is summer and I didn't know what that sound was

legit until I was probably 25. I didn't know that it summer. And I didn't know what that sound was legit until I was probably 25. I didn't know that it was bugs. I don't know what I thought it was. But my whole life growing up and when summer would hit, you just go outside. It'd be muggy and you'd get that like neener, neener. And to me, I felt great because I knew that was like summer. I could skate. I could be outside.

I could be out. I didn't have to, you know, you're just outside with your friends. Then I found out it was cicadas. I got real bummed out about that, but I still like the sound. That's another thick sound. Yeah, that is heavy. It's such an

in unison, you know, there's like hundreds of them doing it all the time. The whole outside is doing it and it's kind of in unison. It's a really interesting sound. But yeah, Cicada's making their neener neener thing. I don't like the way neener sounds. It's more of a buzz.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. How would you do it? It's like, neener neener, like that or something. I just know it goes like up and down and up and down. Neener sounds like a sundown town alarm. You know what I mean? Neener, neener.

Go, go. Leave the town. Leave the town, all you neeners. It's like the stoplight, you know? Or light, what do you call it? Street light. Yeah. Dude, you want to talk about an interesting sound

that I've never heard is the streetlights when they change. In Menace, there's that shot where it goes from green to yellow to red and it's like a real like... I've never heard that. Those are the old ones, right? Or is that just a film technique?

It might be, but that's like an icy scene in Menace because you're like, something bad's going to happen. That's right before Kane and Harold getold get jacked anyway yeah uh cicadas in the trees man summertime cicadas in the trees steven before we go to your third pick we're gonna take another very short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by policy genius policy genius i'm gonna hit you we're gonna talk about some life insurance stuff real quick now 40 of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here

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Already in progress. The last two sounds we took were stomachs gurgling and cicadas on the tree. Bugs and tummies. Bunch of weird dudes talking. This is All Fantasy Everything.

Two different collections of short stories there. We are your premier Bugs and Tommy's podcast. Oh, that made my butt hurt too. How often does that happen to you? It happens a lot. If I see like a deep cut or something or like or something, I don't know. My mom says it happens to her, too. It makes something

real deep in her butthurt. Do you ever get it when you go down a hill that's steeper than you thought or something like that? That's when my nuts feel like they're floating. Deep in your stomach where your nuts feel like they're floating. This is a different feeling than the nut float feeling? Different.

I guess I was thinking it was the nut float. The nuts in your stomach is more of a feeling. This is like, I mean, I know I keep saying it sounds weird. Nuts in tummy is different than hot tub. This is like deep, farther up. Like if you could go an inch past where my butt stops, like up, it's in there somewhere. An inch past where your butt stops. It also sounds like, do you ever, this is a weird reference.

Like, have you ever seen somebody with a kid where they communicate with the kid and they have their own communication so it's like like a kid's crying and they're like okay are your nuts floating are you nuts floating or does your butt hurt you know what i mean and you're like and you don't know so you're like what the fuck are you but they have their own like right like i feel like i could imagine your mom saying that to you as a kid. Like, you're upset. And she's like, Sean, are your nuts floating or does your butt hurt? Yeah, only she understands. Are your nuts in your tummy or does your butt hurt?

Are you hurt or are you injured, Jordan? It's actually because dad left. So there it is. I mean, that's a nut float. Yeah. Yeah, that's a nut float. Or a gut punch, whatever you want it to be. Yeah.

Anyways, yeah. Yeah. Steven, time for your third pick uh man i was i was real torn on this one man i was real torn it was just between a sexy thing and something a little nasty so we're gonna go both sound like sexy things to me technically guts have already been taken so yeah carefully drive carefully. We took butts, too. We're taking all kinds of stuff. All right. You know what? I'm going to just do this.

I know it. You already picked white panic. I did. I'm a very horny man. It's true. And, you know, when you see someone sexy, right? And they chew and they pop their gum. Oh.

Whoa. The girl I had a crush on in high school she would do that in geography and it would drive it would i know what you mean i know exactly you get the right person popping their gum man i know what you mean it is i guess i never thought of it as sexy but i do know what you mean it it's nice it is nice yeah not obnoxiously powerful it's like assertive it's hella assertive for sure just yeah i agree i learned i tried to learn how to do it because of this especially sometimes it's at you you know it's like a directed at you yeah damn that's that's a really good one i like that one one. Man. That's that. Oh, you're going to get some pussy tonight, Snapp. Is that you? Wait, you can hear it. It'll pop like six times.

It's like. I wish you guys could see Steve. I didn't know there was a way to chew gum, Horny. You winked at me. You just winked. Yeah, baby. Isaac, pull this. Pull this and put it on the page.

So the family can see exactly how sexy a gum snap can get. That was crazy. That's a good one, though. That's a good pic. Sneaky. I would never have thought of that. But I completely agree with you. That is a good sound. It takes me right back to geography thinking about this girl

doing it too. Did you ever get anything from her? Huh? Did you ever get anything from her? Nope. Sent her a dozen roses the day I graduated. She never even called.

And then... Oh my God. Maybe we... Damn. She never even called. And I saw her... She's now married to... Wait,

wasn't she somebody else's girlfriend no no no oh is this a different story did somebody send your girlfriend somebody sent my girlfriend a dozen roses and i'm pretty sure she called and then boned him so that's a whole different story but and also he's a great friend of mine to this day i took him to see his mom in prison one time so you want a tangled web wow but uh yeah I sent this girl a dozen roses when we graduated. She never called. And then I saw her maybe five years later. I was doing stand-up.

And then I saw her. And I wouldn't do this anymore. But whatever. I got up and I was like, hey, I sent that girl a dozen roses in high school. And she never called me again. And after that, I apologized. I was like, that was rude. I put you on blast.

We were not in the same level in high school. No, don't do that to yourself. Maybe she should have called to say thank you. She was a double black belt or what? What are you talking about? She's really good friends with a mutual friend, so we've talked about it quite a bit and it's hilarious now.

It really, really shook me. Did she say why she didn't call? Nah, you know. We were kids. But I'm like, man, she should have called. But yeah, I don't know why. If you're listening today, I'm sorry. She ain't. Hope you're still popping that cum, girl.

Well then, Sean, I'm sorry. She might be a big Stephen A.J. fan. You have no idea what her priorities are. She might be, man. She might be a big Stephen A.J. fan. You know what I'm saying? If she's not, she's tripping. She's blowing it if she's not. If she's popping gum, it sounds like might be a big Steve AJ fan. You know what I'm saying? If she's not, she's tripping. She wouldn't be the only one.

If she's popping gum, it sounds like it's right in his wheelhouse. It might be right there. It's like, girl, let me get a guest set. You know what I'm saying? Get a little guest set in that coochie. I'm going to take... You're making me horny now. What are you doing?

I'm hornier than I was when we got on this podcast. This is wild. This is a compound noise. And let me know if this is okay. Okay. To take with my third pick. Sure. You remember when you used to have to go to a bank and put things in a pneumatic tube?

Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. The drive-thru. Yeah. So this is the noise of that tube closing. Because it was like... That shit was the future, yeah. The drive-thru. So this is the noise of that tube closing. Because it was like... That shit was the future, bro. It was the most satisfying click.

And so this is... It's that noise, and then it's also the tube going. So the click of the tube shutting was a real like... I like a foomp, but I like a click. It's almost more the click. If I can only take one of them, I'm taking the click. You're a click. A foomp guy.

Yeah, a foomp and a click. A floop and a click. I'm a floop and a click guy. I know what I like. Walking to a bar. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the answer to the riddle.

The floop guy is the click guy. The click, though, it's a very official click. I can't operate on this floop. He's my click. It's almost more of a clunk. It's almost more of a clunk. It's a chunk. It's a chunkity clunk clunk.

You're a C guy. I get it now. You're a C guy. Like the letter C. You like those. Floopity thunk thunk. It's the same. It's nearly the same clunk as a purse make sometimes

when they have that clunk close. Yeah. Are you going to call it a pachink? It's not a pachink at all. No, it's a clinkety clunk clank. Oh, it's not a pachink. In Pootie Tang 2, everybody. Clinkety clank clank. Pootie Tang 2, back to Yeah. Kiggety-clang-clang.

Pootie Tang 2, back to the tang. Back to the kiggety-clang. The bank tube thing. I don't know if that's still... Is that still a thing in a bank? I don't know. It used to be when you deposited checks, right? You would have to do...

Anything. You gave me ID, anything. God, when was the last time you put cash in your bank? Dude, that cash. Now that you got to claim everything, if someone slips up and gives me cash, wallet, baby. That doesn't see the bank.

Because there's no way to prove. If you do get audited, there's no way to prove they gave it to you. So it's a whole wormhole. Now that you got to claim everything? I didn't make enough money to claim anything until we started making money I never made money

doing like yeah true ever ever enough I asked them one time and they were like no like official like a dude at H&R Block

straight up was like nah I wouldn't even I wouldn't even bother with it I was like alright dude I'm trying to do this now I'm taking a from a fourth pick a more of a sustained noise along the lines of a fire crackling.

I'm taking rain on a tin roof. Baby. Yeah, that's good. Especially like a thick, like a thick rain. Like a thick rain. Is anyone else going to take any rain things?

Cause I want to talk about a cousin of this sound. You're the rain. Go ahead. It's not a rain thing. Well, no, I don't need to take it. Go for it.

A thick, also a very, you know what I mean? Like a pregnant rain, like a thick rain, also on a car windshield. Like a big old fat rain, like those ones.

Yeah, big old fat rain. You can feel it. But this is my dad and his floating home, not a houseboat, just to make that very clear. A floating home. Wait, it's not,

I am sorry. I didn't know that. They're not boats. It's different. You couldn't unmoor this and then chug a lug out of anywhere. You couldn't take it anywhere else. You'd have to get a tugboat involved. He had a tin roof on his house, and when it would rain,

it just sounded amazing. I can't even. It's like a... It just sounds so good. It makes you want to fall asleep. It evokes that feeling. I'm sure there's a word for this. That feeling of being sheltered when the weather is bad.

That makes you just like feel so safe and cozy. Being in comfort or some sort of. Yeah. The thing about those sounds, they make me want to take a nap, but they don't, I can't do it at the end of the night. I can't go to sleep, sleep to those sounds, but I can take a nap to those sounds. they make me want to take a nap, but I can't do it at the end of the night. I can't go to sleep sleep to those sounds, but I can take a nap to those sounds. If that's happening when I got to go to bed for the eight, I can't do that.

No? No, I can take a nap though. Are you back to eights? No, no, no. Where do you think you're at? Four, probably. What? Really? Maybe five. I mean, she gets up at probably six and lately i've been up till midnight or one so this is your fault well i mean i gotta be off doing stand-up

man i could go to bed at like you know nine but i mean that could be good nights yeah but it doesn't it doesn't work like that man you can't do stand you just can't like you don't do stand-up every night i have been i've been doing it like five six nights a week but also you can't. You don't do stand up every night. I have been, I've been doing it like five, six nights a week, but also you can't. And we've talked about this. Going to bed at nine is crazy to me. I've never gone to bed at nine. I can't do that. It's too early for me.

I just, I just can't. I never, it just feels crazy to go to bed. I mean, it's still kind of light out at nine o'clock right now. I go to bed at midnight to one. Usually now, even

if I have a show. That's about as early as my body will even consider the night being over. I'm not complaining. I don't feel empty or anything because I don't have to go to some job I hate.

Sure, sure, sure. I'm not. I'm not complaining about it, but it's not a ton of sleep just yet. But it's getting better. I'm trying to get eight when I have a kid. Yeah, man. I can't wait to have those conversations with you. Flip it. You should get 10.

I'm taking it back just so he knows. No, I can't wait. Another thing is when you look at the solid the solid chunk there's i haven't got a solid chunk of more than like three hours since i don't know when like r.i.p to your sleep schedule but i'm different i'm sorry yeah man i can't wait i cannot wait to talk it's gonna be different yeah yeah bro i hope i hope it is the carmel discipline the schwartz discipline instilled in one baby dude come on Come on. Keep talking. Keep running that mouth.

I can't wait. This baby's going to be in bed reading a book waiting for us to get up, dude. This baby's half my wife. Are you kidding me? Hey, keep talking. I love it. I love all this. It's all on wax.

I love that it's being recorded. This is dank. You'll see what happens. I will see what happens. You're all cocky. Like, wait till you have a kid. It's going to be easy for me, dude. Oh, no. I haven't really said it like that to you. Yeah, you have. No, this is happens. You're all cocky. Wait until you have a kid. It's going to be easy for me. I haven't really said it like that to you.

This is the first time I'll say it. Going on the road is going to be a whole different thing. That's when sleep happens, if you can believe that. Now that when I'm on the road, that's when I get to sleep. That's the worst sleep. You saw me last time I was on the road. I was an absolute mess. Laying on David's floor,

complaining about my legs for two hours. Yeah. That wasn't great. Steven, time for your fourth pick. All right. Fourth one. Yes, sir. Is that, you know, when you're taking a big dookie.

Yes. And it's sliding out. And yeah, and it hits that water. Whatever that. Oh, I know what you mean, and it hits that water. Whatever that... Oh, I know what you mean. Dookie splash water. Yeah, it's kind of compound. Dookie water splash. Because even the come out, you know

what I mean? It sounds like... It almost sounds like a small fire crackling or something. Yes, it does. And you're just like, and you're waiting, and you just... Ah, yeah. Then it goes like that kerplop where the whole thing gets under the water, and then the water closes over it and makes the kerplop.

Yeah. You're like proud of yourself because you're like, look at that big shit I just did. It was all in one piece. Look at that. Look at me. Oh, man. Look at me getting the whole thing out. I'm getting my fiber.

That's a healthy poop. Good for me. Man, do you ever just, and and when you wipe there's just a little bit of poop and you're like look at me efficient look at my efficient body i am a perfect animal yeah you're the most efficient i can probably run up a mountain right now that's how i feel when i do that you feel lighter when you get off the toilet oh yeah yeah oh it's a great feeling man and then you just yeah you just feel like you did something right, the right way. Yeah. That's what was supposed to happen.

That dick. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great pick. That silence of it, too. Just a healthy. Yeah. A healthy dookie.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dookie time. We're going fucking. You know what I mean? There were a lot of, like, expected picks that we could have taken on this. We're going all over the place, and I'm proud of us. I think we're doing good.

I think we're doing good. I think we're doing good. Yeah, we're getting out there. I'm really proud of us. Sean Jordan, time for your fourth pick. Ooh, agent of chaos over here. A window breaking. Oh, I like that sound too. I love a window breaking.

I like that sound too. There's just something. There's something. It's nice. Fuck about it, dude. Like it's, you know, I wouldn't want to be sleeping and hear a window breaking it also means Stone Cold

and Steve Austin is about to walk out man that was the ultimate you get two of the sounds right you crack the beers they didn't get a window breaking yeah he knew what he was doing

yeah and I bet you he took a poop that's why he was so big we should do a new we should we should invent a new wrestler where their song starts with a poop

and then a straight razor shave and they just come out shooting a Nerf gun? Just a completely audio-based wrestler. Oh, be like the entity, dude. Yeah. Ooh, the entity. Dude, I'm surprised they haven't done that where like a wrestler just has to fight a fictional

other wrestler who's supposed to be there making sounds. It's got to have happened in one of those backyard wrestlers. Like there's an invisible wrestler? Yeah, like the invisible wrestler who can only make sounds and sound waves knock you off your balance and body slam you and shit. That must have hit us up. If it hasn't, then we just changed

wrestling for the better forever. And we're starting our own promotion. But yeah, window breaking, not one of my proudest moments ever, but right when we moved to Portland, it was when I was reading The Dirt. I've talked about this before, but I just found a window and I put my foot on it. And Tori was like, don't you break that window? And I looked at Adam and I was like, The Dirt.

And then I just kicked this window out. We started running. That book has had a deleterious effect on your life. I'm always encouraging you to read more, but maybe not. I absolutely know what deleterious means, but life yeah i'm always encouraging you to read more but maybe not i absolutely know what deleterious means but just in case isaac doesn't because he's never heard david it's deleterious i am back deleterious junior dj uh yeah anyway window breaking. Just chaotic.

I don't know. It's fun. It's more of a fun sound. It's not soothing necessarily. I've never really broken a window. Really? Yeah. Whoa, we got to fix that.

We used to punch out, Nick Manpay and I used to punch out light fixtures at Southern Oregon University, but I don't think I've ever broken a window. Dude, we went to a, this is going to sound different than what it is, but for my 40th birthday, Laura and I went to a smash've ever broken a window. Dude, we went to a... This is going to sound different than what it is, but for my 40th birthday, Lauren and I went to a smash room where you break stuff. Is that like... Is that a group sex? Yeah.

When they called it, I was like, it's really called a smash room? You can't call it like a break room or something, but yeah, you just go... Well, that's a thing too. Yeah, it is, I guess. Yeah, I mean, you just go break things.

It's so, so tight. And also, just like a window out in the wild. Like, you never had like an abandoned building and just threw rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or like broke a window in your parents' house or like a car window. Car window.

Maybe like knock. No. Yeah. I've never done it. I know. I know the sound from, uh, from film and television. The feeling is great. There's just something there when you do it and you're like, it feels like you, dude,

I remember I've danced around this story i've never tell it but one so one time i was in a car and somebody was huddled over me and somebody outside the car broke the car window with a golf club and to get at us and it was so buck dude it was one of those words someone was huddled over you like were you getting hit somebody was came and in to protect me because this dude was, like, trying to get in the whip. And so my buddy Mike, he came in and huddled over me. So if the window did get broken, I wouldn't get hit. So what happened, Mike was huddled over me. The guy that was trying to get us broke the window with a golf club.

It knocked the head off the golf club. And then he stabbed it into Mike's back. Whoa! Yeah, it went in like an inch. And then everyone piled out of the car. So that's the tiny little version of the story I can say. I think I have

a good imagination of what happened next. Everybody piling out of a car doesn't end like a lot of different ways. You cheated on Elin Nordgren after winning the Masters. I couldn't even, like, I wasn't supposed to whatever yeah anyway so that window breaking

was the first one where I was like damn this is buck but like everybody ended up being okay so it's like a good buck you know I don't know just mischievous gnarly just makes I don't know just a fun you wouldn't want to roll those dice again but you're happy with how it turned out ooh baby that's why I'm

one of the reasons I'm so happy all the time is because I made it. Just so many dumb things and da-da-da-da-da and now it's like, man, I'm just... I chill, I skate, I do jokes, I do this. You gotta get you a steak, man. Yeah, I love it.

And a fire. You made it. Both of those things, they really fit into your lifestyle right now. Yeah, man. We'll look into a fire. You made it. Both of those things, they really fit into your lifestyle right now. Yeah, man. We'll look into a steak. Give me a little grass, man. You're talking about like you're trying to buy a mid-sized steak, bro. Just go to the fucking grocery store.

You saw me the last time we were at a steakhouse. I got a potato. Make sure you get that grass-fed steak and not the corn-fed stuff, though. There you go. David, time for your fourth and then your final picks Okay Where do I want to go

Oh Fourth pick You know when you sneeze The sound it makes inside of your head Not like when you hear somebody else sneeze. Like the sound that goes in your head when you sneeze. Because it's so like visceral. It kind of takes over everything.

It's kind of like, I don't know how to explain it. Now I want to sneeze. Yeah, but like that sound inside your own head when you sneeze. Yeah. What happens if your eyes are open when you sneeze? Can you do it? Water gets in them? I know your eyes don't pop out, but like, have you ever tried it?

I can't do it. It's like almost impossible. I never tried it. I don't think I ever even, I didn't know this was a thing, so I don't think I ever tried it. People say your eyes pop out of your head. It's like, no, your eyelids don't keep your eyes in your head. So that's not what happens. If you keep your eyes open, I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even admit that like eyes, they'll pop out if your eyes are open, but... My eyes are usually a half-mast, though, so... Just, like, even if I'm not, like, on weed. It depends on what sound effect you have in your butt at that given moment. Yeah.

Yeah, I can understand that. Your sinuses and your butt cavity, there's a big correlation there yeah yeah yeah uh the interior sneeze and your final pick oh and then i know it's and you we've been going so interesting so this one kind of is boring but uh the violin oh yeah dude i had that on my list too of course man at the symphony, I just got a whole new respect for it. Like, I was like, it made me want to cry at some points. It's just so

pure and, like, rich. It's so rich. It's just, like, the perfect, like, of all the strings, I think I like it better than the guitar. It's just, like, it's really the guitar it's just like it's really dynamic it's like I'm definitely gonna be

seeking out more of it it really it really got to me it's a guitar that you marry and not just have sex with that's what a violin is like there's a guitar

which you have sex with and then you marry the violin you know I'd have sex with a bass guitar if I was gonna fuck one of them for sure get yourself a new little Igor Stravinsky dude some with some weight to it you marry the violin. I'd have sex with a bass guitar if I was going to fuck one of them for sure. Get yourself a new little Igor Stravinsky, dude.

Some with some weight to it. Get filled out. Yeah, I would for sure fuck the bass first. But, yeah, well, I mean, I'm looking at more stuff to go. After tour, I'm going to try to get the symphony in a few more times this year. Cause it was, uh,

one of the more transformative art experiences I've ever had. Actually. Wow. Yeah. It was really a lot. Who were they playing? Dude, it was fucking Batman.

I saw the most basic shit. Whoa. They were doing the Danny Elfman score of Batman and they did it live. Was Batman plan? The movie? 89. Yeah. Yeah. He was playing. Batman And they did it live Was Batman playing the movie? 89, yeah Yeah, he was playing and then they did all the music But by the end, at the end When all the big fight scenes and shit like that

I didn't even give a shit about Batman I was like sort of annoyed That the screen was there distracting me Because they were just going crazy It was amazing Yeah It's so amazing distracting me because they were just going crazy. It was amazing. Right when it's that Yeah, it's so amazing.

We saw Harry Potter like that where the movie was playing but they just played all the music from the movie. It was so sick. Yeah, it's like the movie kind of felt distracting. I didn't really care about the movie except for Jack Nicholson. So good. Because I forgot how much I liked him as a Joker.

But anyways, the point is the violin excellent sean jordan your final pick the uh when you 50 50 a ledge on your skateboard when you all have 50 ledge the grinding of the trucks on a waxed up cement ledge is the best sound i could possibly think of i knew obviously nobody was going to pick that so i saved it for last but it's the most satisfying it's the most satisfying sound i can think of. I knew obviously nobody was going to pick that, so I saved it for last, but it's the most satisfying. It's a great noise. It is a good noise. It's the most satisfying sound I can think of ever. It just means you're doing that hard thing. You're grinding through a ledge.

It just, oh, it's like... It's that just grinding. I mean, really, it's just like grinding metal on cement with some wax on it, so whatever that is, but it just sounds so gritty and grimy and like you're just street skating. It's just sick, man man it's just the best the best the whole skateboard sound is great the wheels i can't believe that pisses people off

it pisses them off to no end my friend so weird i always i always really like that sound dude you i mean it's crazy i've dude i've gotten that's the closest that's the most fights i've almost gotten in my whole life was like adults trying to make me feel stupid for skating. It'll like, it'll boil my blood, even as a kid. And I'd be like, that's, I was ready to, I was ready to go up against some dads quite a few times. Just that shit where they're like, you can't skate on the street. And it's like, bro, you don't work on the street. What are you doing?

Just get out of here. It's waking on my dog. That's what I like about pickleball courts right now because they're louder than skate parks and people are starting to complain about this pickleball shit, but no one's going to do anything about it because it's not kids out there skating. It's fucking 60-year-olds playing pickleball. I've been out there playing.

Pickleball's dang good. We should play pickleball. Yeah, let's play. I would love to. Dude, High Plains Pickleball? High Plains Pickleball. I'd be out there. That'd be icy. Punishing them old white folks, man. Dana's parents are amazing at it.

They bought, like, boutique rackets and shit. Like, the Chicago suburbs. It's huge, huh? Yeah, real big. It's funny. I tried to talk to her. I was with Zach, because Zach was just out here, and somebody said something about Pickleball. It's just, man. I bet with Zach because Zach was just out here and somebody said something about pickleball.

It's just man. I bet it's like his rollerblading. Dude, tennis players fucking are out of their mind and angry about it. He just puts so much into it so it's funny when somebody's like, oh, you ever play pickleball? And Zach's like, yeah. Yeah, no.

Oh no, I play tennis, bro. Yeah, I play fucking tennis. Steven, time for your final pick. All right. It's the one. It's my sound, man. You know that sound. Oh, no.

When, you know, going down a girl, right? Yeah, you know it is. And then you spread them lips and they... Oh! Oh my god! Oh, my butt hurts. Are your nuts floating? Are your nuts floating?

Oh my god! Yo! That's maybe the most explicit pic in the history of this podcast. The sound effect. Yes. Because you made this.

Don't do it anymore. You did it perfectly. Yeah. You nailed it. You nailed it. Yeah, that consent. That's that sound, baby. Sound.

Yes, sir. You're not wrong. It's a very good baby. Sound. Yes, sir. You're not wrong. It's a very good pick. It's a fabulous pick. I'm jerking off right now. I can't wait. I already can't wait for Ian to do the recap of this dress. I can't wait to see

how he does it. I just wrote down the noise. Yeah. The noise. Moist the noise. Yeah. The noise. Moist. The noise. The moist noise. The moist noise.

Yeah. Moist noise. That's my shit. It's crazy. I never heard anybody make that sound before. Not like with their mouth. Mm-hmm. No.

I've been studying, man. I can tell. That was really impressive. Yeah. Yeah, that was not the first time you've made that noise. No, for sure. It wasn't the thousandth. I couldn't even say thousandth.

Time for my final pick. Yeah. You know those like, you know the door jams that are like little springs? Oh, big. Are you picking the boyoing? The boyoing. boyoing oh yeah you like a thick sound you like i love it you can sink your teeth into i like i get it i get it i get it

i fucking love that i don't have those kind of door jams in my house, unfortunately. We got them. I haven't seen them in a while. I don't either. Yeah, I think they started just telling people to not fucking fling their doors open. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't have a lot of doors in my crib, though, either. Or windows. Very open floor plan. I do. I got big ass windows. You open floor plan. I do. I got big ass windows. You got a whole wall that's window heavy. Yeah, I got a big old window wall. Don't throw no stones, man.

Out of this class, huh? Boing, boing, boing. The door jam, boing, boing, boing. That's the final pick. Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, I was going to take a very- You know when you go down on a girl? I did have that in mind, but then Steven already took a related one,

so I'm not going to do that. Keeping this family friendly. I'm going to take the sound of waves hitting the beach. You know, when it crashes on the beach. I mean, if you do Steven's sound right, you're going to get your sound. And you're going to get boy-o-yoing.

Oh yeah. You'll get all. What if an erection really made that? Wouldn't that be tight if it really like when it finished, it was like boy-o-yo-yoing?

Yes, it would. Because you would have been sitting in class behind your boner and they were like boy-o-yo-yoing. They'd be like, Sean has a boner. I can hear it.

And like back when your body doesn't have any control over it. So like she's up there talking about Anne of Green Gables or like, you know what I mean? Like catch her in the rye and you get a boner. Yeah. Just rocked up to the Byzantine era. Who's popping their gum? God damn it. There's no gum in class.

Getting a boner to the New Deal? Why don't you be bad, dude? To recap our picks, Isaac Lee had a great pick, Waves Crashing on the Beach. To recap our picks, David, you went first. You took crack and open a cold one,

a straight razor shave, your stomach growling, an interior sneeze, the sneeze sound inside your head, and the violin. Sean, you went second. You took the crackling of a fire, the whack of a golf ball, cicadas during the summer, a window breaking

and grinding a ledge doing a 50-50. Steven, you went third. You took the hold song clap sound, white panic, gum snapping, a healthy dookie splash, and the moist noise. That's a list, baby. I went last and I took the swish of a basketball, the pump, that thwonk sound that a Nerf gun makes, a pump Nerf gun.

The bank tube click and the pneumatic tube sound that follows. The rain on a tin roof and then the boyoing of a door jam we left some good stuff on the board a lot of thunder man like uh a bowling uh bowling strike yeah i was trying i had the one i thought it was like the break of a perfect pool break you know like yeah a tuba a slap shot baseball yeah oh thing. Yeah. I even put that Jadakiss laugh. That, ah-ha! Whatever. Yo, I love that sound. Man, I didn't even think about ad-libs.

Brr! I would have picked. Shit. Dude, the ice cream truck, the recess bell. There's a few of those. Birds. I also like hearing, like, a really well-made toilet flush. Like, one of those ones where you're like, I'm not going to clog this.

There's no way I'm going to clog this. I was thinking about the suck at the end of the toilet where you're like, I'm not going to clog this. There's no way I'm going to clog this. I was thinking about the suck at the end of the twit. Where it's... Yeah. One of those industrial forts where you're like, I'm in good hands here. A perfect snare drum. The thwack of a snare drum.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a freak, man. Isaac, you're an audio engineer. I'm sure you have all sorts of... I have all sorts of sounds I could have picked. But my mind also went to sex first. French kissing.

I like French kissing. That's when you fuck. I think all that sounds gross. I don't like rude. Yeah, I've talked to you about that. You don't like any of it. I don't like sounds, like body sounds like that.

Really? Oh my God. Well, I mean, when it's on, it's on. So when it's on, sure. But any other, like thinking about it when it's not on can't do it we want to hear your sounds body and otherwise hit us all up on all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the afe patreon thank you for

holding us down shout out to everyone the afv slackity i've been back in there mixing it up lately been a lot of fun shout out to everyone on the AFV subreddit. Shout out to super producer Isaac Lee on the ones and twos. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haja Beats. More important than all of this, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy

Everything. Shclackity! See, that's a sound we could have picked too. Shclackity. Oh. Oh yeah. What a great sound. That was a HeadGum Podcast.