All Fantasy Everything - Technology from 1995-2005 (w/ Sam Jay, David Gborie, & Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: August 6, 2020Ayo, I'm tired of not drafting technology, from 95-2005 specifically. Sean, David and Ian get digital with comedian Sam Jay.We're doing our first livestream draft this Saturday! In celebratio...n of getting over 1000 members on Patreon, all members can tune in Aug 8 at 4PM PST / 7PM EST to see us draft 'RIVALRIES'. Become a member and get stream access at patreon.com/AllFantasy.Episode Guest:Sam Jay @samjaycomic IG: @samjaycomicCheck out Sam's new comedy special at netflix.com/title/81078802.Sponsors:HelloFresh: Go to hellofresh.com/allfantasy80 and use code allfantasy80 to get a total of $80 off, including freeshipping on your first box.TRICO: Go to wipers123.com and use promo code ALLFANTASY at checkout for $10 off your next order or $40 or more.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comAdvertise on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast do the intro but e40 you can't do it you wouldn't be able to do it
i got i will do the intro on e40 sean 20 cash right now you could do it i believe in you i
already owe you in 10 this is a good little friendly bet i like it get it all right if i
can get through it on one take in the e40 voice all right 20 bucks all right 20 bucks 20 bucks all right
welcome to all fantasy everything the podcast that fantasy drafts the entire world
from childhood crushes to breakfast foods and everything in between today on afe
oh we're drafting technology that came out between 1995 and 2005.
You know what I mean?
Our guest today is Sam Jay, a stand-up comedian and writer for Saturday Night Live,
whose new special comes out on Netflix.
It's called Three in the Morning, and it's available on August 4th.
Joining me, as always always are Ian Carmel,
Sean Jordan, and David Borey.
This has been E40, a.k.a. 40 Water,
a.k.a. E-feasible.
Let's get to the show. Welcome to All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that right now, for a third episode in a row,
is laying on its belly like a little purgy kitty.
I really got to get the sciatica looked into.
Yeah.
Just off the top of the program, I want to let everyone know that on August 8th, All Fantasy Everything will be doing its first live streaming show.
Is it over Zoom, Marissa?
Is that right?
Yeah, over on Patreon to celebrate getting over 1,000 members.
That's right.
So this is to celebrate us getting you holding us down and taking us over 1,000 patrons.
So that means it'll be available to the AFE Patreon members.
So if you're not a member, I'm afraid you're out of luck for this live stream, but it's super cheap to join.
Every month we give you bonus content on the Patreon, whether it's a watch along or a playlist or an AFE mailbag or stuff from the podcast that got cut out,
but it's still really fun to listen to.
It's all yours.
In addition to, again, the first all fantasy, everything live stream draft where Sean David and I will be drafting rivalries.
Rivalries, dude.
Yeah, so good.
Felt chilled on my spine.
I already got a couple i came
up with some in bed last night i bet you did dude yeah you're probably thinking about me laying in
bed he's probably thinking about you versus your hand you thought about me versus my hand me versus
clive davis dude always ripping my damn dick off that's the biggest that's the biggest that's the
number one rivalry i know of clive nobody can get
across town in 20 minutes you're really ripping my dick off here but i want to get there for the
meeting but i'm missing it i would love to be there i can be there in 45 minutes or you can
fucking rip my dick off and clive i'll tell you this if you started 45 minutes later once i get
there you can rip my dick off anyway man i don't care i just want to be in the room that's what i told him that's why we were at the ivy i saw him sean s jordan is here sean cougar mel Jordan on uh twitter no instagram
yeah uh yeah and sean s jordan on twitter yeah bro yeah yeah not doing much of shit on either
one of them i've actually instagram i post a bunch of skateboarding twitter i haven't even
touched lately.
Good for you.
Trying to stay sane, so I'm out of there.
I'm out of there. I'm at skate parks.
Fucking, you know, acting like I'm a teenager.
You're getting into nature.
We see you in nature a lot of the time.
Yeah, man. What? I haven't seen beavers and owls every day during quarantine.
And I saw a river otter once. No big deal.
You see a beaver every day?
Nah. I'd say like three times a week stop that's a lot of people still pretty legit
you know what i mean i'm not even married bro
out here out here you're probably not married because you once sent a girl you uh you rapping
to a murder was murder was the case it was murder
was the case of all the sexy songs what did you think was gonna happen we've talked about this i
remember it too because i heard the tape yeah but i remember it was the you know the first line
has a look up at the sky i thought i sounded so good when i listened to it i was like damn you
probably aren't gonna be a rapper dude you probably i guess if the crips don't watch you full time
you'll be a rapper so yeah get ready for it the Crips don't want you full time, you'll be a rapper.
So yeah, get ready for it.
I remember you telling us about this.
I do.
But I didn't recall you throwing in the I'm innocent at the end of it.
Because it's not on the album.
And I threw in I'm innocent.
I'm innocent.
Just giving myself goosebumps.
Like, yeah, dude.
Giving myself goosebumps.
In that closet where you laid it down.
Where did you record it?
It was at Pete Montequelo's house, I think.
Had to be, dude.
I think we just sat in his room.
The one you're thinking of is when I went in the booth at Corey's house.
The Scott Storch of Sioux Falls, right?
Sorry, go ahead.
Yeah, there's only one.
Okay, so this was a recording?
It wasn't a live performance?
It was a recording on a boom box where you could put a blank tape in.
I thought you just did it on her one time.
No.
I'll just blast her real quick.
Tammy, sit down.
Tammy, take a seat in this park.
Probably going to be a big circle of people around.
I never heard of a 13-year-old Tammy.
No, I haven't either.
You never see a young Tammy anymore no some names are just done
you know what I mean
we should have talked about that for real
like there's so many done ass names
like there's a lot
like there's no more like um
Dion's like Dion ain't like a hood name
Dante's or like
there's no more Fabian's Dana's you don't get a lot of Dana's in named dante so like there's no more fabians danas you don't get
a lot of danas in the hood no more like dana's kind of dead i'd be pretty sure if i met a child
named denise yeah i feel like i don't want to meet a baby named larry i don't think i can handle that
i don't think i've met any peters in a long time hmm peter ain't going anywhere yeah i feel like
that's a forever that's a really i feel like
that's a fact it's because it's biblical right it's like john yeah i'm saying like it's always
no way no way you've known as many johns as you've known or as many peters as you've known
john i'm saying that it's a name that's here to stay like john like it's not gonna go away bro
all right we'll talk in 2025. Whatever, dude.
Another bet?
I'm already sick of boring.
Fucking.
Hey, what are you trying to turn that 20 into 40, man?
Listen, my money makes money.
Let's do it.
That's all I want.
That man who hasn't seen a Peter in a while.
I haven't seen a Peter in a minute. Hasn't seen a peter in a minute cool guy jokes 87 on instagram shout out to lord tarik uh the g is
silent on twitter not seeing a lot of lord tarik anymore i'll tell you that yo so yesterday i
watched an entire one of those illuminati youtube videos oh man i watched the whole shit i watched the whole thing
and um guys it was something to talk about do you believe in it now um i watched it
and no i don't believe in it but it truly it was all about like the gay agenda and hip-hop
truly it was all about like the gay agenda and hip-hop you know i'm saying so it was um it was all about that and first oh my shit fucked up by the way because someone called me because
uh no one reminded me to put my shit in airplay mode that's my bad i'll take personal responsibility
for that but um yo so the shit was like okay it's like a gay agenda in hip hop and in Hollywood.
And it was just saying how everybody was fucking everybody.
But what was interesting to me is how deathly afraid black men are of gayness.
Because the music was very ominous.
The music was like, dude.
And then it would be a guy being like, this is my brother.
I love him.
And then the shit would freeze on Diddydy talking about like Will Smith, like ding.
And then it would be like words underneath, like what does this mean?
You know what I'm saying? It's like, what the hell is this?
And then the last five minutes of the video is just them showing still frames of niggas holding what they've
deemed purses.
And a purse
and a purse
and a purse could be a duffel
bag, a messenger bag,
a purse is basically any
bag with a handle or
that drapes over you.
That's true.
It's just image after image of just like
perel and snoop and like jt and they're just like zooming in on their bags god that's dope it's
amazing that's hilarious so good i would just watch it for the bag content i could watch it
on mute i bet that sounds dope enough just seeing like what kind of bags i got. They took this clip of Drake in the studio, and he's like,
man, I feel like I can compete with anyone, except for Weezy.
He's just, ooh, he's just so good.
And they just kept replaying it.
It just zooms in on Drake's eyes, and then there's pyramids in his eyeballs.
And it's like, what does he mean by that you know what's the problem with the
internet they're gonna track down every time you've used the word juicy you know what i mean
did he talk about rick ross and licking his lips it's amazing it's like but it's like how gay are
you that you're looking for all this in the world constantly to just be on high alert like this?
Reading into everything.
Blowing money fast.
What else was he blowing?
It's like the intensity of it all was just like these motherfuckers, bro.
You can't say you're not homophobic.
You are afraid.
This is the behavior of a scared person.
True phobia.
Oh, you mean they can you mean making proper videos in
the basement that's like but they'll say this like i'm not homophobic i just do not agree it's like
no you're scared bro embrace that you're petrified lemon pepper drums is coded language for for
sucking gay dick that's true though that's true don't do that that's true we just call it that
all the time you know that don't be like that
that's amazing and this is all tied into the
Illuminati people are figuring it out
you know what I mean they're pulling the threads
it's the Illuminati and Quincy Jones
all this time at home we're finally
doing some research and we're figuring things out
it's good you know it's this is what they didn't want
yeah this is why Bill Gates released the
COVID dude don't even get me started
but it's so crazy because now you're seeing white people like with that uh q anon
or whatever however you pronounce that crazy that shit is crazy but it's just black hotepism
it's just black it's white hoteps like it's the same process of like unfounded information yeah
just coming up with any fucking thing and saying it's true.
But it's like,
I understood like black hotels
because there's this idea
that there's this white society
working in the back
that is inherently like
keeping you from achieving anything.
And so like a lot of that
is what black hotel shit is about.
Is that what Q is saying though?
I don't, I don't.
Dog, they said that Beyonce is not black, that she is Italian.
And her name is like Stringali Charamali.
And like the only reason she's pretending to be black is because it's part of a Black Lives Matters, like underground plan to derail white people.
Who said this?
Who said that?
Sean, it's this thing called Q Anonymous. Q An q anonymous it's just like white hoteps yeah it's like but they're like moving in government and
shit and running for all it's fucked up yeah and they have an oath and everything and they're just
white hoteps they just truly make shit up they think donald trump was elect is going to like
under is i'm going to uncover some ring of like pedophiles and like ever like
hollywood and like all the establishment and everyone are like involved in it and like black
hoteps yeah this is the same because of this guy q or the guy q who like drops internet videos where
he like explains stuff there's a there's a new york times podcast about it that's like really
interesting they're just like it's like make it it's like you're
making a bet in five years thing it's like that well we'll see we'll see in 10 years we'll see
and it's like well i can't argue with we'll see in 10 years but it's also completely like unfounded
like even with the black ones it's just like quincy jones asked to was gonna try to fuck
tupac in the ass and told tupac if he ain't fuck him, then he couldn't marry his daughter.
Who told you this?
Tupac didn't.
Quincy Jones didn't.
Nor his daughter.
His daughter.
Who gave y'all this information?
Like, they just come and then they're like,
and that's why I can't be in Hollywood
because I won't let nobody
fuck me in the ass.
And that's how they...
I won't play that system.
And that's how they explain
like their failure.
And it's the same thing...
Yeah, that's ultimately what it is.
And that's why I don't rap anymore.
And this is what these white protests are doing, right?
These failed white people who have lost control are explaining their failure through these wild conspiracy theories instead of just sitting down and just being like, we lost.
It's exactly what they think.
A lot of them think like-
It's the same shit.
Part of it is they think Bill Gates is like secretly the prince of Denmark
and there's like so many fucking wild
that's like
that's one of them there's like these weird
they think like a lot of royals also play
other roles in society
wait oh you gotta
watch it straight lizard people
shit bro I love it does that mean it's
pronounced uh Beyonce
Beyonce you been sitting on that I figured the longer I sat on it the fun mean it's pronounced uh beyonce you've been sitting on that i figured
the longer i sat on it the funnier it would be when i said it i was like if you wait for like
five minutes that's hilarious if i'm getting this right what you mean to tell me is and i'm sorry
if i'm sorry if i'm out of line here what you're telling me here is uh-huh and if i'm listening to you if i'm picking up on what you're putting down what you're trying to tell me you
smell what i'm stepping in sure it's pronounced bianche bianche and also i think tupac did bone
dudes i think that's uh you know neither here nor there but i'm saying quincy joe didn't say
you can't marry my daughter if you don't fuck me in the butt. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
What if that didn't happen?
That is a crazy scenario.
That's what I mean.
It doesn't make any sense.
You may marry my daughter forever, but you just got to fuck me one time.
You got to earn it, Pac.
Get back there.
There's one way into this family.
There's one way out. family yeah there's one way out
why do you think we don't talk to uncle jared anymore you gotta get you gotta get beat my
cheeks into the jones family butt sex in a body bag one way in one way out david uh that all that
whole conspiracy is what's keeping you uh out of out of the big time rap game what so what do you
have to promote instead anything you want to direct people towards?
I mean, I was going to drop my mixtape specifics,
but I'll take it back to the lab.
I need some new topics.
Nothing specific.
Just, you know, I don't know, man.
There'll be some shit that I do,
and then you'll see it come out.
But other than that, just listen to All Fantasy Everything,
the only podcast in the world.
This is it.
This is the one.
You're welcome.
It's the only fucking one. We're the only ones to ever livestream this is it this is the one you're welcome it's the only
fucking one we're the only ones to ever live stream yep we invented patreon yes we did yeah
yeah 10 feet tall out here we've had that picture for like 30 years and uh death row stole it from
us so that's right a lot of people right shook still i mean if we're gonna get into specifics
shook stole a lot of shit from me so i was stole a lot. I was wearing, like, gigantic red suits.
I was the first fat dude riding horses.
People know that.
Ask anybody from the 90s.
Ask anybody from the 90s.
Ask anybody from the 90s.
They saw me in red on horses.
I remember seeing you on the cover of,
God damn it, I forgot the name of the.
Horse Stanley.
Yeah, with my horses
Damu and whatever the other one is
named
Sunset and Saddle magazine you were on the cover
and it was like fat dudes are riding horses
now and it was you looking fucking
just elegant and royal
I've been smoking oversized cigars since
92 as well
just dick sized cigars
I heard that about you i heard that
about you yeah did that sam jay is here sam jay comic on twitter sam jay comic on instagram
sam you have something wonderful to to let the people know about i want to be cool like david
though he was so cool i just got stuff going on and then when you peep it you see it
David didn't sound half that cool
when he said it
you guys are blowing it all up now
making it corny
I loved it
I'll do your promotion
I won't make you guys do that
that's lame of me i have a special
coming out august 4th on netflix called three in the morning yes that i'm super excited about
that's amazing make sure you watch it sam is such a fucking funny comedian if you haven't if you
haven't if you haven't fucked with a stand-up yet make sure you do the most exciting thing for me is
so many comics are just going like, Sam's so fucking funny.
Sam's the fucking funniest.
Sam's the fucking funniest.
There's like such a range of people.
And like, they have no idea what I said in this special.
And I probably pissed off a lot of people.
And they're going to be getting like yelled at.
Like, this is who you adore?
This is what you support?
And they're going to be like, what happened?
Fuck yeah.
That's the best part part i'm here for that
i'm gonna double down on my cosign then i'm fine i'm ready for a time for whatever sort of twitter
people want to throw at me i'm taking it back boring heads we out no we need better names we
need a better name i get it we need a better name yeah but i'm psyched it's cool but i'm more excited
truly to be doing this right now.
Because I've been trying to get on this show for a while.
And I just really feel overlooked.
I know.
Don't be like that.
Don't be like that.
Don't be like that.
Probably because I'm gay.
Mostly because I'm black.
Damn.
I'm going to just stare at the ground the whole time now.
I don't know what to do.
I've been saying it. I've been saying it.
I've been saying it for years,
so I have been like,
we can have black people on,
we can have gay people on,
but don't you ever have a black gay person on.
You better never bring both.
Don't bring that into this house.
We were telling Solomon about it,
and he agreed.
He was like, yeah, it's a bad idea.
He got lucky.
He got lucky.
Oh, man. Shout out to Solomon. He just got a new car lucky. Oh, man.
Shout out to Solomon.
He just got a new car.
Got a new whip right here.
Sexy.
Like that.
He's doing it.
He looks good with blonde hair, which you would have never known.
Yes, I would have.
I like that everyone's gone blonde and just people are just like, we're getting into this
real like post-apocalyptic 2000s hippie era where it's like people are just like what's
a fuck that bro space hippies fuck yeah i never thought it was gonna happen i never thought there
was gonna be a day where there would be like a lot of black men dying their hair like i never
it's beautiful man yeah it's crazy it's so great and motherfuckers are like riding around in these like doomsday elon musk trucks and then just like wearing holy clothes it's wild yeah it's great hair and purses
you know this is like we're fucking living i've been trying to dress like a chic forever anyways
fuck yeah travis scott's wearing pants that have like eight giant pockets on them it's great i saw going down i saw asap
ferg wearing flares and i didn't know how it felt but you know else it's like it just shows that
like because i know there's like goth kids who are like this is just goth right but it's like
white people just accept y'all just look whack and shit yeah we do yeah i couldn't i couldn't
dye my hair blonde y'all just look i figured that out a, we do. Yeah. I couldn't dye my hair blonde. Y'all just look wack and shit.
I figured that out a while ago.
Like jeans and a hoodie and that's it.
I know they're losing it.
Like that's just golf wear.
But it's like, I don't know.
When y'all was doing it, it looked scary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Flare pants and everything.
It didn't look like cool fun.
It looked like shit.
Like the rap metal era.
No, I got it.
I got to say, though, those flares did look crazy.
What are flares? You know what flares are it's like you talk about asap yeah yeah i mean
he's just gonna do what he do yeah he can do stuff that other people he's so he's out here doing
whatever i feel like i feel like uzi can too like uzi's just gonna be cute uzi can wear yeah he's
just gonna be cute he's gonna always step out and be cute, bitch. And I love it. Also, he's tiny, which helps with crazy girls like that.
But I like that as a man who's tiny, he embraces that.
Like, I'm cute, bitch.
Yeah.
Always winking.
That's fine.
I love it.
That doesn't work for me and Ian if we're out here and just like.
No, there's cute big boys.
Y'all just ain't them.
No, we're not.
Damn.
There's big boys with the cute finesse.
They be cute.
Sometimes you just have ways of saying things that you don't mean to hurt.
Because I wasn't going to let you do that to the cute big boys.
You was trying to just throw the big cute ones under the bus because you got some self-esteem issues.
Because there's some cute big boys out here moving.
Crammed in the pants.
No, that didn't bother me at all.
I'm just going to go.
But no, I'm going to go outside for a while. I'll just be out there. And I wouldn't't bother me at all. I gotta go. I'm gonna go outside
for a while. I'll just be out there.
I wouldn't sweat it, but I'll be back.
I'll be hanging out across the street with the rest of the fat dudes in denim shorts.
The cute big boys.
They have tight, colorful jeans.
Yeah, I know those guys.
They don't care. They got a little fatty.
They show that shit off.
They also started a long time ago.
They started a long time ago.
They will tie a shirt. That's what i'm saying they had it they had it in them they was like no i'm gonna
be cute yeah it's almost like disrespectful to come to the culture late like that no you couldn't
you could but you could transition into a like a smooth big digger i could be smooth i couldn't
be a cutie though no that's what i'm saying you're not gonna be cute but you could be i think i could
have like a gerald lavert like late that's what i'm saying you love that that's what i'm saying you're not gonna be cute but you could be i think i could have like a gerald lavert like late that's what i'm saying you love that that's what i'm saying
you could get smooth yeah but you can't get cute that's okay that's okay at some point in the next
decade you will have your i don't i'm not gonna say first because i don't know your life all the
way but like alligator shoes at some point oh first first yeah we're we're still dealing with just having shoes in
general i think like like a sweater an alligator i'm wearing i'm wearing shoes in the house now
so that's like we got to get over that hump it's step by step yeah cute as loop does cute as loop
does yo what's up i got the jays today from the app you didn't get them did you get them yes the off whites the force
i was tripping bro that's amazing i have never never scored on the while i was on twitter like
fuck the app they always play like talking cash shit about the app god yeah congratulations that's
beautiful i've never gotten off whites off the app i've never come up off off like something i've
always had to go second market same here yeah wait how did you just played me on the grateful
deads they just played me on the grateful dead so i was like i'm dry like they're not giving those
to me the dads were never gonna happen there's like there's like a thousand pairs of those but
you got the fours that's beautiful those are great too they're really nice i love those those are
hard man yo for the two ski for the for the price
the real price that's the wild shit when you get it for the price and you're like what it's like
you just made five grand right now they're like four figure shoes probably already already they
had 14 right when i last time i looked but i almost fucking cried dude i was like
one day i hope that light shines down upon me. It never has.
I sign up for everything.
Isn't this how sad it's become?
That I'm like, it will, it will, it will.
You just got to believe.
Keep playing the game.
Keep playing the game.
You know what I'm saying?
Stay focused.
I tried for the Chunky Dunkeys and I was so bummed that I didn't get it.
Bro, and you know what pissed me off even more?
That I didn't get the, they re-released them.
But for certain people. And I didn't get that either. I'm like, you couldn't what pissed me off even more? That I didn't get the, when they re-released them, but for certain people.
And I didn't get that either.
I'm like, you couldn't even hit me on the.
Couldn't even get seated.
As many sneakers as I buy, you start to feel like I'm a premier customer.
Like, what the fuck is going on?
Exactly.
There should be like a, you rack up some points and you're like, I'm a platinum level sneaker.
Have you worn off-lights on TV?
If you wear them on TV, you should get some kind of...
Yeah, I wore off-lights on TV.
That's what I'm saying.
You should...
I wore them on TV, too.
Then you should get some kind of, like, special treatment, I feel like.
I wore the Grim Reaper blazers on Corden.
Nothing.
Listen, yes.
I wore the 90s.
Yeah.
To my first...
To my half hour.
Was it on...
Yeah, was it on... Oh, no, no, no. The 15. No, it was on Netflix. 15. Yeah, the 90s. Yeah, first, to my half hour. Was it on, yeah, was it on? Oh, no, no, no.
No, it was on Netflix. 15, yeah.
Yeah, I remember you rocking those. Those were
fucking beautiful. Did you keep the tag
on? I think you did, right? I did.
And now, like, now I take it off
sometimes. It just depends how I feel,
you know. But those were like
fresh paint, though. You had to.
And they were my first pair of off-lights. I was like,
fuck that, tag on. My first pair of off-lights. I was like, fuck that. Tag on.
My first pair of off-lights, I was like, tag on.
My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel
on Jewish Sneakers app, which is somehow less stingy.
I was like, tag.
Shout out to David.
I was like, tag, you're it. That was what i should have said talented and gifted dude that's right uh i got nothing to promote other than check out
that uh patreon live stream on the 8th at four o'clock uh western pacific western pacific seven
o'clock eastern that's gonna be fun specific time specific time specific time. Specific time, 4 o'clock specifically. Specific time. And 7 o'clock
atlantically.
I do have a pair of the Travis Scott
4s that I'm sitting on just for one hour.
Wait, you got a pair too?
I have the Travis Scott ones, the Cagas Jacks,
the Pale Blues, but I definitely didn't get
them on the fucking app, man. I wore the
Travis ones for my hour.
Beautiful. And I haven't worn them
bitches yet, alright? Because I was like, I don't know what to do with these. I'm really not a fan of Beautiful. And I haven't won them bitches yet. All right.
Because I was like,
I don't know what to do with these.
I'm really not a fan of ones.
And actually,
I'm not going to say,
well, I am going to say
fuck David.
He ain't going to make me
feel crazy.
Lauren got them for me
for my birthday.
Why was that?
You said fuck David.
Yeah, because
you were about to say
some David shit.
What?
No, I thought it was
you told me when that happened.
I was like,
I'm so happy for you.
Yeah, but I wasn't ready
for some like you guys are being assholes, talking rich talk.
That was not what I was doing.
I'm embarrassed that I haven't had off flights.
Nobody hates that I act broke more than me, guys.
But yeah, I never wore them because I don't really wear ones.
I feel like they make me look kunky a little bit.
But I wore them and I was very happy.
I liked them. I was like, make me look kunky a little bit. But I wore them and I was very happy. I liked them.
I was like, these are fly.
I like the little weird shit you can do with the tongue,
like that little cactus jack thing you can put.
That shit's fly.
Yeah.
I've got some Air Max 90s that have a bunch of different tongue stuff
that comes on and off the Tokyo.
Yeah, that's fun.
It's fun.
Uh-huh, I got those.
Yeah, yeah.
Those are fucking flashy.
I have a bunch of Bushnitz's and Cambridge's and stuff, shoes over there i'm into you know i got a bar cart we're all just
saying shit we got yeah dude i uh i got a time live foreigner you know 80 gigs a month internet
man i pay for it i got a painting of a walrus wearing a vest you know what i mean i got a bunch
of bananas yeah man potassium i got yeah i got new strawberries the new ones got them today
haven't even come out i got a real good attitude and i'm having fun shut the fuck up about that
yeah dude fuck you sean fucking jizz mop oh yeah they're calling me jizz mop all day
damn i keep looking in the shoe boxes for, and it's not in any of them. It's not there, man.
It's been in one box.
I just got a 10 and a half pair of happiness.
I'm thrilled.
It's awesome.
It's so fun.
Now, we are gathered here today not only to talk about sneakers,
but also to fantasy draft technology that came out between 1995 and 2005.
It is a very specific era in doing the research for this
but also it's kind of loose right like we're not gonna like i hope we're not gonna go like
crazy with it because i'm sure i'm like say i was just saying shit that i like i'm just saying
kind of the era yeah i'm taking the space shuttle i was living in the era for sure living in there
yeah yeah yeah we were all kind of coming of age in this era, and technology got cheaper and more accessible
in ways.
Oh, I remember it.
But also got turnt up, too.
And got much better.
Much, much better.
Got turnt the fuck up.
Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock,
paper, scissors.
Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissor shoot damn it hey sam wins all right sam as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent
upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a
serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question it's like if you're watching that versus
battle between dmx and snoop the other night oh yeah oh and you look at snoop and you're like god damn
that dude knows what time it is and then you think you remember you're like so does dmx
so you got to look at dmx and you're like man dmx looks like he's having a really good time
and you want to look back at snoop but before you do you're like is dmx singing all the words to his
songs and then you just look at him a little
while longer just to make sure he does in fact remember the lyrics to all of his songs and you
see that he does he might just be a little bit out of breath and then you go back over to snoop
and you look at snoop and you're like yeah that dude's dope but i wonder if he was really a
crip he's kind of old now he doesn't really seem like he's feeling that life anymore and so you
look at him a little harder before you look as a crip as a fellow yeah as a fellow member and i look at snoop and i'm like yeah i mean you know just wear those sweatpants if you're
not or at one point were uh so you know you decide that he was and he still doesn't know all the
lyrics to his songs and then you look back at dmx because you forgot what it used to feel like
driving around listening to it's dark and hell is hot and your boys dodge colt and you just sit
there and you almost fight a stranger outside because you're so pumped for you like all right i'm gonna go back at snoop i need to calm down a little bit but before yout and you just sit there and you almost fight a stranger outside because
you're so pumped for you like all right I'm gonna go back at Snoop I need to calm down a little bit
but before you do that you just look at DMX a little more you're like yeah I get that dude is
pretty sexy I'll give it to him he always was and then uh you know then you look back at Snoop and
you just kind of go back and forth the whole the whole time is sexy your first DMX adjective I don't
know I don't know if that would be in my top 10 DMX adjective, and I'm out.
Can someone tell me what it is?
Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round,
you pick first in the second round.
It goes like serpentine. One, two, three, four.
Four, three, two, one.
Along the way, we learned that Sean thinks DMX
is sexy. He's sexy.
He's a sexy guy. Earl.
For sure. I pick the order.
You pick the order. With that in mind, what will the order today be but if you go first you go
third type shit if you go first
in the first round you go last
in the second round that's what I'm saying you go first
but then you double yeah
you're drafting two right Ian oh yeah
so it's four of us so why'd you say three
I've listened to this don't be crazy
I said I think I said four
I thought you said three no no no
um alright i'm cool
shit i'm gonna say i'm gonna go second because i feel like for some reason that's strategic yeah
yeah and it is i like this it feels it feels like it could be
i'm not really confident but i'm like't even say it something about it second is good
who do you want to go first
David blows his first pick a lot
come on man
yo
it's that day
it's that day today
oh shit
David a lot of times
will just make up his own topic
and draft that a couple times
my first pick is
fire today
so fuck you
I'm gonna have David go first
yeah
cause like
cause I feel like
he fights harder
when he feels like
everything's against him
and my man's going to show up.
That is what it's about to happen.
When do you want Sean and I to go?
Who said the most racist thing
and wasn't aware it was racist?
Probably Sean. Were you pointing to me me i'm jewish so it's
like different me yelling at david because i haven't fact seen baby's kids last recording
i'm gonna i'm gonna say you can go after david sean because in in bought a house so he's got
to win that's right all right damn i got a win i got a win already hot corner so i'm going forth
uh so that will be the order which means means, David, you have the first pick.
And the technology from 1995 to 2005 draft, which we will get to right after this short break.
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Welcome back to all fantasy.
Everything.
The only podcast that has ever existed.
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everything.
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fuck you.
All right. that's funny when the last time you straight up said that to someone and meant it like that man it's like a like a hard you know like hey fuck you like the last time you for real
said it to someone and meant it it's been a long time yeah i'm about to say you know what i was
gonna say it has to be a while because ian's happy and he's been happy for time. Yeah, I was about to say, you know what? I was going to say, it has to be a while
because Ian's happy
and he's been happy for a while.
Yeah.
You can't mean to fuck you
unless your life is fucked up.
It's got to come from the dungeon.
It has to come from his visual life.
It's like,
if you really are happy,
you can be like,
whatever, man.
Fuck you, man.
But it's not,
you're not,
you don't care.
I haven't said it
where bats flew out of my mouth, too, when I said it in a while like came from your soul yeah when you say yeah it's
gotta be like yeah fuck you i live in this park yeah i want yeah you know what i'm saying like
you want me to stay another hour yeah exactly oh god i hate this job you know like it comes from
this place a lot i have never meant to fuck
you more than when someone says hey can you stay extra and you know that they're it's not an option
bro they're not even really asking you though they're saying you're staying another hour at
least you're staying or you don't eat anymore yeah yeah that's weird what they're like dangling in
your fucking face and they know you hate the place and they know like you were only
obligated to be here until right now and now you were counting down like why are you why are you
playing these games you were there at noon thinking about eight and now it's eight and you're staying
thinking about eight we would get those the last job i had in la before i was lucky enough to quit
they would be like all right uh we know that everybody has Memorial Day off.
We're going to be open
and we are looking for four volunteers.
Otherwise, we will pick four volunteers.
I hate that shit.
That was one where I'd go in the bathroom
and just be like, fuck you.
Because you can't,
what am I going to plan a vacate?
Like, I'm going to go somewhere
and they're like, well, we didn't get four volunteers.
So now you can't go
because you might have to work.
I'm not volunteering and I'm getting sick.
Ever.
Suck my dick. I never take take voluntary ot i'm never volunteering and then if you make me if you make
me come i'm getting sick if i really don't want to come i'm sick i'm sick fuck you when i worked
at the netflix call center and now the netflix streaming service obviously amazing great tasting
comedians but the netflix call center did you guys both do 15s fucking 15s 15s
15s one of us has an hour coming out soon i'm not gonna get into details uh we we they made me work
on christmas they made like everyone work on christmas and they were like if you call in sick
we know you're not sick and like we're gonna fire you i'm crazy they can't even do that that you
don't believe in shit though like. Like, believe in yourself.
Yeah.
I'm going to say I'm sick anyway.
You, right?
I'm sick.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
You can't tell me that you don't.
And then I'm coming with the fake doctor's note, baby.
I'm coming with the doctor.
Fucked up number.
You're going to call one of my cousins.
Yep.
She's going to say she a doctor.
Yeah.
I will go there.
I will go there if you make me bitch like
let's go i will play the whole line out i told i remember that having to be like hey they're gonna
somebody's gonna call and you just say i used to work for you and i was there all the time yo one
time we fake kidnapped my friend to get her out of work that's a different no but that's the proudest
i've ever been I've never felt better
about and about my friend group
because we came together
and could talk to this plan.
My friend called out of work
for four days straight
to party in Atlanta
because it was like
a holiday weekend.
It's some shit.
So we partied hard,
got fucked up.
She was like, I'm not going.
She went to Filing's basement
by Phipps Plaza.
So then she didn't come in.
But then she was like,
I really need my job. So like when the haze cleared, she was freaking the fuck out. Like,
I can't not have a job. This is all so fucked up. And we were like, nah, me and my homegirl,
Deanna, she was from Philly. We was like, no, no, no, we can figure something out. Like,
what if we just say like, you got kidnapped? And she's like, well, how are we going to do that?
I'm like, we just call your job looking for you. So we called the job and we's like well how are we going to do that I'm like we just call your job looking for you so we called the job and we were like
hey did Carrie come to work today
and they were like no
we haven't seen her in four
days
oh shit
and we're super concerned and blah blah
blah blah blah blah
and she has a crazy boyfriend
blah blah blah
and then the job was just like
oh my god keep us updated
and we were like we will
you know what I'm saying
if you or anyone you know has information on
Kara
so then she just came back and she was like
yeah two days later she just popped up
like I gotta wait
what oh my god
the job was just like sympathetic like oh my god
you know that's incredible
man that is great that really
everything's fair play under capitalism
you gotta play the game too and i think
honestly you know what oh shit
the auto we did not call
because we was like that's gonna feel
too fake we went to her job
and was like oh you
went in?
And we talked, because we had to do some acting. Now
I remember we was in the store. We talked to the manager
I need eyes on Carrie right now.
Because it was like, if we call
that's too phony
like they won't believe
it because you call it.
You know what I'm saying?
Plus we were just like young college girls.
We were stupid and probably just wanted to add some drama.
But we did go up there looking for her.
That's amazing.
College seems crazy.
Nah, it was so wild.
It was absolutely wild.
I had a friend called Best Buy.
And I would beat my daughter if she told me that.
And I was like, my daughter's like, yeah, this is what we did.
And she was like, in high school, I'd be like, you could have caused so much craziness.
Could have been a manhunt.
Yeah.
You fucked him.
What are you doing?
You fucked a kid in her feet.
We were not thinking about none of this.
We were just young, and she just wanted her job back.
She didn't want to get fired.
You know what I mean?
So we were like, fuck it.
I had a friend call Best Buy and tell them I broke my leg.
And then I went in a month later to get my last check limping in there.
Wait, like the cast was gone in a month later to get my last check limping in there I was like yeah it was a minor break I had some fucking bullshit I'm like you don't work at Best Buy you don't know either fuck you I like that I like that I like a good limp it's good I had I got a
good limp you should have met me in sixth grade I'll tell you that size 38 cross colors limping
down the hallway of Edison middle school oh yeah i had my shit together back in the day
just david it is time for your first pick man i can't believe i first on the board i'm taking
the sony playstation oh yeah that's a good one That's like the introduction of video games being like grown up. Remember?
Like PlayStation was so much more like sexy than Super Nintendo.
You know what I mean?
I'm not going to quibble with the fact that this came out on December 3rd, 1994.
I'm not going to bring that up.
I'm not going to bring that up. Oh, so you're being a sucker?
I'm not going to bring that up, dude.
So you're being a sucker?
Wendy, come out in America, Ian?
Oh, you're being a sucker.
Were you in Japan?
Did you have a Japanese PlayStation?
David, you're a sucker.
I have various business holdings.
Nah.
Nah, nah, nah.
No, it counts.
It counts.
It totally counts.
Sony PlayStation.
It absolutely counts.
Crash Bandicoot, Jet Moto, whatever other games you can get.
I hate people like you, David.
What are you talking about?
Because people are like, who's the best basketball player?
And you're like, Jordan.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
That's completely different.
That's completely different.
Sony motherfucking PlayStation.
Released it in America in 95 someday.
I'm taking it.
I'm fucking taking it.
People are starting crazy.
Sony PlayStation.
What were your favorite games on PlayStation?
Crash Bandicoot.
Yeah.
It was a bandicoot for real.
Oh, and that was back when.
What a bitch ass game.
No, I love that game.
To come hard with.
That was back.
Crash Bandicoot.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Hold on.
What was the football game before Madden was like? Remember
back when Madden first came out, there was like
three equal ones. Oh, yeah.
NFL Live?
NFL
Live was one of them, right? No, it was like
they were like all equal. Like this is back
in like the quarterback club era and shit.
Oh, God. I remember that.
90? I don't know.
But yeah, fucking PlayStation.
Changed the world.
When did you get it?
I got it that first Christmas.
The first one?
One?
I got it that first Christmas that it was out.
Like, the first big Christmas.
What?
That's crazy.
I didn't get one until...
Jeez.
I'm sorry, Sean. I know. That's like five like five six seven years after it came out whatever dude you got a playstation in 2001 whatever rich boy i don't know
you had to wait till playstation 2 came out
dude that was the worst you gotta be that guy i mean no you had to wait it's playstation but
like you couldn't have stuck a playstation box in those size 38 jaboz you were wearing Dude, that was the worst. You gotta be that guy? I mean, no, it's PlayStation, but like...
You couldn't have stuck a PlayStation box
in those size 38 Jabos you were wearing, Sean?
Yeah, I'm saying.
The Jabos were skin tight, Playboy.
Don't twist it up.
The cross colors were the big ones, my friend.
I never had the PlayStation.
I had another video game system.
Did you have the N64?
Oh, shit, I don't want to.
Oh, it might come up.
It might come up.
It might come up soon.
We had another video game system that almost fit the criteria of the draft we're doing maybe
perhaps i'm trying to find the game i can't find the all pro football no it had like warwick don
on the cover i think arena football um hold on let me look am i making up NFL live it sounds like no they used to have NFL live
because it was the same people who made
NBA live and they had NFL
2k back then too I think
yeah that's what it was NFL 2k
or 98 or whatever yeah
I don't remember NFL 2k
oh yeah they did ESPN
game day
game day
game day was it
Warwick Dunn dude
he built a bunch of houses for people
yeah he's super generous
did they have a shooter was it like perfect dark
was like their shooter or something like that
I thought perfect dark was on the other one
maybe it was but Tomb Raider
was on Playstation right? Tomb Raider was on Playstation
yeah Tomb Raider was on tomb raider was on playstation raider was on playstation
tody hawk was on there you could play cds on there and that was yeah yeah you could play music
on it getting to put a disc well even like putting a disc in just felt like you're from
the future that was the way you took a disc was amazing you felt like you were sliding it into
the future it was like yeah yeah that machine can really take a disc i'll tell you what no you're talking about ps2 oh no i'm thinking the ps2 would have popped the top it was great
dude that's right pop the top it moved kind of slow it moved a little slow but you just
didn't have one i'm thinking of the ps2 which i did have dude playstation
uh all right the playstation, time for your first pick.
David was being a bitch-ass nigga.
Yo.
Yo, don't be mad.
Sam, now it just seems like you wanted the PlayStation.
Exactly.
I really didn't write it down.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, I didn't even want to play.
I didn't even write it down.
No, no, I really didn't. I was more jealous that you thought of it, period, because I didn't even write it down no no i don't even i was i was more jealous that you thought of it
period because i didn't even think about the position um i'll go with uh plasma screen tvs
oh yeah that shit was so man i still don't know understand the science no like i don't know what
plasma is but that shit was so great i don't know plasma is is, but that shit was so great. I don't know what plasma is either, but it felt like everything looked better because of it.
But then, and just shit got sleeker when it came along.
Yeah, yeah.
Because before that, you just had those big eyes.
So, like, plasma comes and now shit's skinnier.
Yeah.
It was just like, ooh.
Like, it felt like you was in Total Recall or some shit.
Like, ooh, nigga in the future.
Also, you had to be more careful with it.
Remember, it was like, don't put that shit sideways.
Yeah.
Because that shit would just leak all to one side.
All the plasma's going to run out.
Yeah.
Bro, or if you punctured that shit too hard, it'd be like,
these are like a whole.
It was finicky.
It was finicky as hell.
But that's how you knew it was important.
Yeah, all the good stuff
is no that's a great pick that's a great pick plasma screens were amazing i remember we never
had a plasma screen tv even my dad who's a lawyer like at his fucking condo had like a one of those
he had a big ass tv but it was one of those big heavy uh-huh heavy like gigantic box the whole stand on the box yeah that big like sun and it would
be like a whole like a hot those things got fucking they put on heat dude they were like
you can't put it too close to the wall it'll like it'll leave a mark on the wall if it sits
there for too long if it's within like 10 feet and it's weighing on the wall it's like it's
yeah most of the tvs in the back of the tv
cat got trapped behind it one time
tv had a dumb
there's a hamster on a fucking wheel running in the back of it
he had to pull start it like a lawnmower
buster keaton stuck in one of them
your dad just goes and like shovels coal into it during the middle like commercial breaks
this is how we watch basketball it's fucking no plasma tv is great that was like a big
that was we like we also didn't have one but like i was aware of them that was innovation that's
when shit started to feel like the future because it was like oh this is like what the jetsons are
like what happened in star wars and shit like that. This is what TV's would look like. Innovations happening.
I would just go hang out, I mean, once again
at Best Buy or other, you know,
whatever the other stores were back then
and just like fucking... Bro, remember
when Best Buy opened Magnolia?
Magnolia Hi-Fi, yeah. This is why I hang
out with all the plush
shit. We had Magnolia Hi-Fi
before Best Buy bottom,
so we had like separate Magnolia Hi-Fis.
And you would fucking go hang out there.
And like that footage where it's like a hummingbird and then a waterfall and then some horses run.
It will never look like in your house how it looks at Best Buy.
Never.
Never.
I bought.
That picture will never be that clear.
I don't care how many of those cables of theirs you buy it's that shit
be looking like you could walk in yeah and just remember that scene in 40 old virgin where romany
malco's trying to sell that tv and he's like looks over and there's a butterfly and he's like oh
jesus god i thought it was i thought it was here in the room that's how clear it is so dope yeah
they were never just watching basketball no man even if they were it looked
like that nigga was sweating on you they don't look like that at your crib
it was like it was one feed from one camera at one of you with like the perfect one high
the one like high digital camera in the world because every d that come out or x i'm like i've never seen
its full potential i got 4k and i don't know i don't even know if it's doing or you're not even
getting all that because the technology like most shit is not even being made to meet the thing you
have right exactly it's like four it's like four things a year that are actually in 4k yeah
everything else is like it's like when you get those speakers and you have to do like the bass test,
like audio tracks to actually know what it sounds like.
I just got to call Zach in to do that for you.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And be like, this is good.
Oh, right.
And then like everything else sounds like
your car's about to shake apart.
Bullshit.
Everything sounds like trash.
It's so fucking bad.
Because they didn't tell you
what it would sound like in a Maxima.
Yeah.
Nah, bro.
Black Nissan Maxima. Yeah. Nah, bro. Black Nissan Maxima.
Man.
Sam, great pick.
Sean, time for your first pick.
iPod.
Came out in 03.
Yeah, fuck.
And that, dog, I remember when I got my iPod, I was just like, I was a king.
You could not tell me that I wasn't dope.
I remember I used to just cradle it.
I used to hold it in my hand and show it off.
I was so stoked the first time I got an iPod.
Where'd you get it?
I got it for Christmas.
I got one of the things that are the size of a pack of Swisher wraps or whatever.
That was the one I got.
Oh, the Nano?
That's not even a girl iPod.
I don't know when the Nano came out, though, dude.
That's how you know Sam's so bougie.
It was like that one.
That's not even... She would have made you feel so bad
About your shuffle
You can't flex with a nano
I'm talking about
The one that's like 4 inches
And then it was like
An inch wide 4 inches high
Did it have a screen
Yeah it had a screen
Yeah that was the first one I got
They didn't have screens skinny ones they just had the shuffles just the tiny ones those were like a postage
stamp you said yeah that was the hope but even the little the little the little short screen
ones was weak too did you have the white headphones because that was the oh i still
that's what she needed he's wearing them right now i still do i go to the airport and i still
think i'm dope with white headphones just like yeah what's up dog like people know i'm listening to something
but yeah the ipod changed the game like all the music you want on it super stoked i they had all
those commercials they had those fancy commercials oh yeah like a silhouette of somebody dancing to
like a u2 song or whatever yeah yeah yeah can i tell you about my first ipod how it makes me so angry
just thinking about it i was like in like 2006 or something and my mom my mom was like hey come
over to the house i got something for you and it was like around my birthday so i was excited i was
like this could be cool and i go there and she's like this is how i love my mom so much because this is how she loves
to do shit she's like can you hand me that bag over there and it was just a it was like a shitty
plastic shopping bag like loose and she's like look why don't you just look in there and she
gave me an iphone it was an ipod and the headphones and nothing else. There was no box. There was no charger.
There was no disc to put iTunes on your computer.
Mom, where'd you get this?
Don't worry about where I got it, David.
No, but that's dope because that's still like
your mother worked harder than the other mothers.
No, she was so happy about it.
Because she still made sure you had it, dog.
There were some people that didn't even have it.
You had to go find some shit
exactly but you still at least had something to find some shit for yeah come to find out years later she just dealt in ipods and iphones for a while sort of shadow economy she would get him
i'm gonna make her listen to this episode now she would get him on e and stuff, and then she would pay my friend to unlock them, and then she would resell them on eBay.
Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then they started doing it without me, and I was like, yo, I remember I was going to my mom's house one time, and my buddy was like, oh, yeah, can you grab that 40 bucks for me?
And I was like, what?
And they were talking to each other about unlocking iphones you got cut
out of the deal i got i was never even in bro that's like that's that's low so yeah i hope she
is listening to this you learned early on that your mother is also just an individual doing
living her own life yeah she's got her own hustles man she's she's she's does this wipe all uh mp3 players off the board i don't think so i mean the best one but yeah
it is the best one but there might be other rankings you know yeah yeah yeah i just picked
ipod that's it i like that little noise when you would scroll i fucking hated it i hated that
you felt like you were doing work i like that i. I like that was your work. I miss it looking just like a hard drive.
Yeah.
I miss that.
Just words.
Just names.
Some weight to it.
Like, yo, I got work in here.
Because you would carry that shit like this.
Heat in here.
My music selection is crazy.
You felt it.
You could feel the weight of it.
Bro, and even though.
You wanted people to see it, too.
You'd be like, just go through. A thousand words. A thousand songs or whatever. You could feel the weight of it. You wanted people to see it too. Even though it was a thousand songs or whatever,
you could get the tens or whatever.
Out of the many songs you could jam in,
you felt like this is my sword.
These are the records I believe in, bitch.
Put them on.
Let it rock.
My iPod.
Now people try to do iPod wars and shit.
It's like, nah, it's not the same as carrying your like Shogun sword to another house and
being like, my shit could rock, bro.
Because you can scream it now.
People will judge you.
Judge you.
Oh, you got an iPhone?
Let me, you got an iPod?
Let me see that.
Yeah.
Let me put your shit up.
See what you're doing.
And then they be like, okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
A lot of taking back Sunday on here here mr carmel i had a lot of pharaoh munch i didn't listen to you hallelujah pharaoh munch
it says in sync on here why does it say that dude 100 100 i had a lot of stuff that had like
the desert storm at the beginning of it. Oh, everybody did.
Anyone with sense did.
No shit, no shit.
Any cool mixtape back then was.
He was really on it for a minute.
So much.
He owned the iPod, man.
We were never supposed to see that dude without a hat on.
Desert storm.
And that piece, I used to think it was the hardest piece.
Oh, the tornado?
No, the Riddler question mark.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was like, that's crazy.
All right.
I thought that was crazy.
Time for my first and second picks.
With my first pick, I got to take the other dope video game system.
I'm taking the Nintendo 64.
Yeah, you had to.
You had to do it.
That's the one I had in the crib.
Goldeneye, Mario Kart,io 64 that's star wars where you
played shadows of the empire whatever and you like got to like fucking like fly the snow speeder
thing dude it was so clutch my brother starfox starfox oh starfox was so remember you know you're
like slippy talking to you and shit still right oh slippy was the frog
the frog yeah yeah my brother got a nintendo 64 and he lived like in an apartment uh because he's
nine years older than me like close by but he brought it over once and i got to play gold
knight for the first time and we didn't have one and we weren't about to get one anytime soon
that's fucked up and i remember playing it there is like, I'm going back to my apartment,
and have fun not playing my shit anymore.
He let me play it for like two hours,
like just enough for it to really get its hooks in me,
and he's like, all right, I got to take it back, man.
I'm sorry.
And I was just like, no!
No!
I have never sensed known pain like that.
No breakup in the last 10 years has hurt me
as much as that nintendo 64
leaving have you ever talked to him about it as an adult like you knew what you were doing right
i thought yeah we've talked it over i mean it was his you know he was he's a he's a wild man
that's the least of our concerns now he wanted to he wanted to play the 64 too i remember one
time i house sat over there just so i could play the nintendo 64 he didn't need anyone to house it
he was like dude in his early 20s there's literally nothing over there that so I could play the Nintendo 64. He didn't need anyone to house it. He was a dude in his early 20s.
There's literally
nothing over there that's going to like...
Watch my empty bottles of Jägermeister with purple
lights behind them. Do I need to water
his already dead plant? What's going on?
When you're in your early 20s and you
just have your own house, you're like,
watch this shit. Oh my god.
Yeah.
Oh my god. Shit. I need someone to watch this shit. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God.
I got some shit.
Like,
I need someone to watch this shit.
Word.
Decorating with beer bottles.
Hold up,
hold up.
Someone might come in,
I don't know,
and touch my pants,
nigga.
I don't want anyone touching my pants.
Yeah,
bro,
someone's gonna touch my pants.
You know what I mean?
What the fuck? Oh man. That fuck that was i remember i had a
good touch of my rock layers when we got a crib uh when i was in college where i remember we had
off-campus housing and adam and phil were downstairs and they would not shut the fuck up
and i remember storming downstairs telling them to be quiet and they said they're like whatever
dad and i was like fuck you stormed upstairs and went to bed
but that was like a i i meant it from the bottom of my soul i was just like fuck you and that really
came from like you was mad at yourself because you had to share yeah i was just you had to be
in a space with other niggas i was being a mark and i was going to sleep to get up to go to class
like a list of mark shit that i was doing when they were downstairs watching Top Gun
Drink at 40s and I'm like that's what I want to be
doing right
you had to be like exposed
to that that's where yeah I might as
well gone down there naked I bared my soul to him
and they laughed at me you might as well have gone down there
inverted
inverted so you're the
one you're the one
yeah
will you guys please shut up and hear some of us have class in the morning?
Somebody take that and make a little beat to it, please.
That was dope.
Would you guys pick up the book up of us i have class in the morning
with my second pick i'm taking blu-ray came out just towards the tail end of this
fucking blu-ray would look real good on sam's plasma tv by the way i'm not poor because i had
the other option on my list blu-ray never even crossed my mind.
I know.
What other option?
David, well, don't say it.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
I had that on there, too.
But I remember when Blu-ray came out and just being like, oh, fuck, this is amazing.
I got to buy all my other technologies again.
Blu-ray was the name of the best drug dealer in
two falls also so that's neither here nor there i'm not 100 sure i've seen a blu-ray even like
today you ever accidentally rented one like you know and and just got home and like god damn it
it won't play it's just the laser disc it's like it looked better right that was it was smaller yeah and i think it was better it looked
better no but error to error in the technology space it served the same dumb ass purpose and
thus did not survive now blu-ray had a blue blu-ray had a better run i think than uh
because you still get much better yeah it served the same thing though where it was like
people didn't watch it and get their minds blown.
The same way people didn't watch a laser disc and go, I have to spend this crazy amount of money to not watch a VHS.
No one watched a Blu-ray DVD versus a fucking regular DVD.
It was like, holy shit.
It wasn't even a DVD, right?
I can't ever see it the other way people
were like yeah i guess you take your blu-ray and don't i'm not i'm not gonna get barked off this
blu-ray i'm proud of it every uncle in the midwest still would swear to god that a blu-ray is the
best purchase they ever made we're a big so like it was weird because i didn't end up getting one
until post 2005 but they came out
before but that was definitely a big i'm like a single dude and i've got a little bit of money
i don't know what to spend it on let me see i'm just walking off dude i get it
sam's walking to glendale she's gonna kick the shit out of you right
it's a long walk and i don't even i won't even live in glendale by the time she gets here so
good luck so you got it after it came out though you got it like after i bet i didn't get a blu-ray
player until like 2008 you know what i mean maybe later but it came out in 2004 but it was a big
like again my older brother had a blu-ray player ivan carmel had a blu-ray player on the house
you on the houseboat you bet you're watching he was living
man he was fucking living he had a house did you say he learned to like salsa dance or something
he learned a salsa dance he parked his boat behind his house he makes he's getting it he
owned geckos dude he was like he was throwing moves at people like he had stock and he had
equity and gecko no well probably both he probably anytime i bring up a company he's like i own stock in that so he must own stock in everything
that's got equity dude the old man's got equity dude gordon gecko dude they call him gordon gecko
he called because he had two geckos if i called him gordon gecko he'd immediately have some
reasons why he wouldn't like stoop to that like no no no don't be an asshole no no i'm not
gordon gecko i'm not doing that bullshit i'm just smart about it that's what it is i'm just smart
about the stocks i buy anyway i haven't had a blu-ray player watching heat on that shit watching
saving private ryan at the surround sound thumping you know what i mean the houseboat rocking gently
it was it was a beautiful time it was a beautiful time to be a boy.
I guess I was in my late teens at that point.
A boy.
A boy.
Blu-ray, second pick.
Sean, time for your second pick.
I'm picking the camera phone.
Ah, yes.
Oh, shit.
Camera phone.
I had that on the list.
Definite game changer.
And that was one of those things where you're just like, oh, shit.
I can document everything.
Everything is getting documented now.
I'm thrilled.
Camera phones came out as late as they did because I would have definitely had some unwanted yet still documented pictures of me floating around.
I imagine so like doing gonzo with your, with your junk, you know, you flop the balls over
the, yeah.
Making a hamburger out of it, you know, just mostly pictures of you and your friends balls
probably is what you're talking about, right?
Almost exclusively pictures of all of our balls just floating around like why'd you even
have them out ah man i was in a weird spot in life and that's what you did all shots dude all
the technology that went into making camera phones possible the billions of dollars of research it
was also pixelated anyways what else were you gonna you know yeah you probably would have been
fine i just remember like when because i didn't, I don't think that my phone could even
do that.
And someone showed me and I was just like, no shit.
I have a camera for real.
I have a camera on there.
It was my first phone that I got.
Adam might've showed me, but it was my first flip phone.
It was a sprint.
And, um, yeah, I remember being all stoked that that uh you could take pictures
that was dope what did you take pictures of dude skateboards no man everyone's balls i was like hey
get your balls out i'm gonna get you on the grid right now let's address social shot of your balls
and then i can put you in my contact info those camera foot you can only hold like 10 pictures
too right yeah it wasn't like a ton of pictures right off the bat five pictures of my pocket a picture of a hot dog from dairy queen
and then like a couple old skateboards like me right after i did send them to people back then
i don't think so at the beginning because remember when picture messaging came out it was like 50
cents a picture message so you were like yeah it was so much send pictures to my shit you could
set it as your wallpaper was the big thing you could be like oh i want this i want the cover like i want the matrix
to be my wallpaper so you could take a picture of the matrix go to the poster flipper and then
take a picture of the matrix post i guess you would have to sneak in a hot topic you could
walk right in proudly so i'm here i would have to take a break from working and then i could have
went and that's right i have to picture uh yeah camera phones i just i think they were a game
changer i'm stoked i got both those were the only two real dank ones i had i'm stoked i got them
it's a dang thing you're stoked about bro that's the dang thing i'm stoked about right there that's
what's dank that i'm stoked on sam time for your second pick um okay shit got real and we're picking technology right yeah okay which is like it's
broad too doesn't have to be tangible i was wondering also could you pick a game or there's
a game counting a different thing or there's a game kind of technology and i think you can pick
a game i wanted to throw that into the just like that oh interesting i think i think
it should be tangible but like a game i think is okay yeah right i think i was just i'm down with
whatever i thought we were doing i thought we were doing like hardware and a game is more software
like something you load onto a thing so that's why i asked the vibe i got okay okay okay i'm not i'm
not against that well i got a lot of intangibles on here yeah i got my next
pick's gonna be real weird i can i can i can audible i can all right take it take your picks
i'll scream at you then yeah you will you know i'm just going a whole different direction
and i'm gonna say because i feel like we've been naming things that just have been like
that lasted you know like we've been saying things that just have been like that lasted.
You know, like we've been saying shit that it happened and it lasted.
Outside of Plasma, but Plasma grew into something.
But like, I feel like we've been landing more on just shit that lasted and kind of forever.
And I think I want to go somewhere with some shit that kind of died, but spawned an era.
You know?
Oh, don't take my shit.
Don't do it.
I'm going to go with a next tell push to talk
walkie talkie phone okay but that was great where you at that breath of relief was the best
yeah just that whole ability to like because technology is dope just because it takes away one step yeah it's like it just
goes by one step until it's great so it's like the fact i didn't have to flip the phone
and dial a number i could just load in like 10 people and just be like and they just
lit is that how it works like the other person had to have one too right of course it's technology
it's still complicated it's still complicated and you would chirp people on it but you so you
would like it was just like a big walkie talkie it was loud as fuck too but it also made you
exclusive like oh you don't got a next cell you draw you can't be a chirp that's what makes
anything fun is when it first comes out,
who's the motherfuckers
who can get it first
and be a part of the thing?
Two-way pager, same thing.
Instagram, same fucking thing.
You couldn't get it
without an iPhone.
There's something about
that elite vibe of like,
where is only a little network
of motherfuckers chirping?
But when motherfuckers was chirping
and it was only on Nextel,
it wasn't no bullshit
that was a whole era of shit i didn't even know anybody till it came to boost i was like y'all
motherfuckers oh my god i wanted to go i wanted to go with you on it but i was like i gotta i gotta
be for real i didn't i'm not like seeing someone at costco doing it but that also might have
literally been a walk i saw people do it. I saw, man, those yellow ones. The yellow joints
with the black around the sides.
Those are the only ones I know about.
When they came out with the color one,
the little gray one. How much licorice do we need?
You know.
We're going camping all weekend.
We need a lot.
It seemed cool even when you weren't talking about cool
stuff. Bro, it didn't matter what you was doing.
Because it was so loud.
And someone could just hit you right on the joint.
Box, come right through.
Why the rest of the world is struggling.
You know what I mean?
Y'all got to pick up phones, punch numbers.
Nah, hit me.
I'm on the check.
I wasn't even.
I was still calling people collect saying what I needed back then.
Like David,
what's your,
you have a collect call from mom.
Come pick me up at the mall.
Come give me,
come give me,
come give me.
I'm in the arcade.
No,
that boost was cool though.
I didn't have one.
Yeah.
That little noise.
It's so funny.
The things that make like something stand out.
And that little noise is like,
we'll be with me until the day i die and like something about it being yellow was really
cool yeah and it would work in like underground because it was for construction workers and like
laborers of that yeah so it would work on the train so people be dry like back then there
wasn't no service under the train you know i'm saying like under the ground so like yo you get
a chirp on the train you're like you're letting everybody else on the train. You know what I'm saying? Like, under the ground. So, like, yo, you get a chirp on the train,
you're letting everybody else on the train know.
Now everybody knows.
You don't deserve to be spoken to right now.
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me.
I'm chirping.
I'm chirping down here.
Yo, don't look at me.
I can communicate in the subway.
I'm different than you.
I'm different than you.
I'm in the subway talking.
So, I got more business. I have friends on land up top i have important business i'm not a fucking troll i go
up i go up there sometimes i go up there sometimes and i talk to the big people yeah i don't live
down here like in the big buildings this person chirping me they're a fucking real person they're
up there stay down here and eat your darkness i'm i've been to the 800th floor of a building all right
oh man they had like a jurassic park vibe almost like they felt rugged and like outdoorsy like
you could throw them down the stairs you could
excellent pick i didn't know this whole draft was just going to make me salty.
I know, dude.
All the stuff we never had.
Yeah, let me just pick another thing I didn't have that I thought was great at the time.
I'm picking spinners.
The rims?
Yeah, spinning rim technology.
That's technology.
That's technology.
And that was
you don't remember
the first time
that shit is in
that shit was incredible
I'm not mad at that
I'm not mad at that
that's a hard thing
it's like the spaceship
it's like the spaceship
taking off
I don't need to be reminded
ever why I'm friends with you
because you're like my brother
and I know why I'm friends with you
but sometimes you do it anyways
and you just did it
because that didn't even
enter my thought process
to think of that as technology it was the first thing I didn't think of spinners I did not think of spin process you didn't cross my mind but that's such a great that's hard perfect it was such a game changer
man and it was like you knew it was a game changer because like you had to have the real ones because
remember you see the fake ones oh there were plastic ones you could put on there like walmart
had some but they had like all those bad ones but you need the ones that because the real ones were like so smooth with it man those plastic ones i'll tell
you what else you could just kick them and they'd break too not like i know but you you know you
were kicking all the spinners it came on a hoodlum like a spinner check yeah spinners man if they
weren't real i'd just sit on the hood of the car i'd just wait for him to come out be like hey i noticed your spinners weren't real so i broke
them let's fight hey you hey i i got i gave you your comeuppance and i want to look you in the
eyes and tell you that they were fucking the first time i saw him in person i gasped i remember like
people are like calling you like dude come down come down to the mall there's spinners down here
they're here like come look at them oh yeah i remember seeing some at the aurora mall
and that was like what i talked about for that week yeah were you there and everyone just knows
what you're talking about before you say it was the spinner situation no it was just i would be
holding court like nah man i was outside of the knife store. You know.
Freshly purchased butterfly knife. Hanging out, you know, looking at his scarred face jacket.
And he pulls up.
He looks at me, stops.
Shit keeps going.
The rims kept spinning.
No, I'm not lying.
No, they're real.
Rim spinning.
Who was that?
Little Flip?
Who was that?
There were a lot of spinning songs.
The best one was a three six
mafia one with the top off who all right never mind and when i hit the root then those shits
keep there's only i used to be clean in my expedit that anyways the point is spinners i think still
fly or like a the boots i think that's one of the they talk about spinners in that song that song's
good it was everywhere chingy talked about it it was yeah they were they were really dazzling i remember the first time you could like put them
on your car in i don't know it was either like grand theft auto or some other game and like
maybe because midnight club had all those jazzy looking cars that's right yeah yeah like neon
kits and shit like that oh my god
i would put that shit on the most inappropriate cars i put once you could do it on grand theft
auto i have like pickup trucks with spinners on them and shit like that yeah man spinners is that
pick good job do you remember latrell spreewell had the shoes with the spinners built into him
yes sir i thought those were the chris webers the dada's i thought yeah with the spinners
yeah those were bad those were bad those were bad those were ugly as hell yeah they were not doing
good dada dada really fell off at the end god yeah that's an ugly shoe i'm looking at pictures
of them right now the c webs are horrible it was were Sprewells. Oh, they were the shoes?
Yeah, and they're going to retro them, is what Sprewell was saying in 2017.
I don't know.
Things changed.
David, time for your third pick as well.
All right.
I don't know what the name of this technology is, but this changed my life.
So you remember after the Discman's came came out they had the adapter with the tape
that you plugged it into the tape and then you plugged the shit into the disc man and you could
play cds in the car yeah whatever that is called it's like a cassette tape adapter it was amazing
it was amazing we had like an 87 toyota camry at the time. Yeah. But like, so what?
I'm listening to Redman in front of people.
I still, for the life of me, have no idea how that shit works.
I don't understand it.
Tell me it's not magic.
Tell me it's not magic.
Because in a tape.
What the fuck is that?
That's in his heart.
That's it.
A tape is like magnetized, right?
And that's how it plays?
So how the fuck do I put this thing and then plug it into my tape and it takes what the CD's playing?
It's wizardry.
Somebody just listen to like basic science is laughing at all of us.
They're cackling.
They don't get to live a life of wonder like I do.
Yeah, no, that's cool.
If somebody tried to explain it to me, I think I might hit them.
I don't want to know about it.
It might make me so confused and angry that I would just like you know like that how good i felt listening to gangster's paradise over and over because i
was like mom i'll stay in the car while you go to target yeah leave the keys when you get that
loud ass beep like because it was like your disc man's like back noise you know the button try not to move it so you don't fuck with the anti-shock yeah in the power of the yeah yeah man so whatever that i don't know what you call
that but that's my third pick you call that shit is amazing that's fantastic that shit still to
this day mystifies me sue carmel we had to rock one of those in her car up until recently.
She just bought a new car, but she had the same Honda CR-V for 17 years.
I'd done that in that CR-V.
And we would have to use that shit in there.
That technology is strong.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Good shit.
The car I drove down to LA with, I think I had to use one of those.
But great pick. Sam same time for your third pick
people got crazy
guys you're out here going nuts
i don't even know what my last pick is going to be yet. I'm all right.
You're all right.
In case you were wondering, I'm good.
I called an audible or two on my list, and I think I'm straight now.
I'm going to go.
It's hard because I was trying to switch it up and not go with another kind of phone technology.
There's a lot of phone technology. But there was just a lot of shit going on that time.
A lot of it technology but there was just a lot of shit going on that time a lot of it was phone shit um but i just think this was another like because i was thinking a lot of shit that just
made you feel like the future was here yeah and uh i gotta say the t-mobile sidekick man yeah that
was online it flipped it flipped and then you could type but then you could flip it and just
use the screen yeah you could really it and just use the screen.
Yeah, you could really throw nail on that.
It was a texter, basically, right?
It was a texter is what it was, essentially?
Yeah, but no, it was the first texter phone.
Yeah, it was a lifestyle.
Because you could also call on it.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then it had the screen on the outside.
And when you flip the screen up, the screen flipped.
Like, at the time, when you really think about it,
it was like 80 things going at once. No, it was a lot. When it was closed, the screen flip like at the time when you think about it it was like 80 things going at once no it
was closed it was the screen was one way and you can either use it as a phone or as a touchpad
okay when you flipped it the screen flipped another way and then it became a text mechanism
because it was a keyboard yeah underneath the screen it was the yeah man get out of here yeah it was incredible i was meanwhile i
was like typing on my phone like bro will you get a number and flip that shit because i died
by the time i'm in like college at that time when you get a number and flip that shit cool
it's flexing bro flip that big flex yeah if anybody doesn't know, YouTube, Motorola, Motorola flip action sidekick.
T-Mobile sidekick.
It was exclusively at T-Mobile.
And T-Mobile was like a new company.
And they were new, so they was shitting on everybody.
Like, we're new and we bring the new new.
It was like when you first saw Fox on TV.
Oh, yeah.
And you were just like, they're saying ass.
You know, and my eyes blew up.
They're saying ass.
Bro, you just
fried, bro.
Yeah, that shit was incredible, man.
That shit was crazy. You had to type so long
on the other phones, because you had to, like, memorize
how many, like, if I want an N, it's
T9. Yeah, it had
T9 before you. It had a whole keyboard. you can just whoop it had the internet too right
yes bro like that shit was like a million dot man crazy i might get a sidekick now i want one
i'll be looking like i'm gonna be looking like a crazy person but i think i want to do that for
like a month yeah for like a month just be sidekicking
that would be a beautiful look i think people would be equally impressed just like the first
time it came out like yeah the first time when you get the number it's still the same reaction
it's still the same flip yeah bro that flip always gonna to hit you. And it was tight.
It wasn't janky.
Like, it really was smooth and worked.
Yeah.
It had nice action to it.
It had nice action.
It wasn't jank.
It wasn't jank.
Yeah.
That's a great pick, man.
That's a great pick.
Sean Joe, I didn't tell you your third pick.
I'm going to pick the Toyota Prius.
What?
What?
I mean, okay. Why can't I do that that works when i do that you can do it you
can do it says 2001 is from what i gathered today on the internet all right it was a heavy piece of
technology it was the first like hybrid whip what do you like about the prius i don't have a prius
but i like yours i like the system i like how it gets up and goes real quick and i like how it's
from giddy up to it some great gas mileage it's uh it just feels like it changed the whole car game it was the first like
sort of half electric car and i feel like it helped to help society and people out tremendously
okay yeah i love my prius i think it's a good i didn't think i was gonna piss everyone off so
much no it's not i just thought maybe you were gonna go
for something from your heart it's a little less practical or a little more practical something from
your heart something fun you know something from the heart 40s have been around for way longer than
1995 maybe you had pined for at one point in your life but no it's cool would you get a prius would
you feel comfortable in a prius i would i've been
looking at cars uh the last like couple weeks because yeah i'm gonna get one in like a month
probably really yeah miracle whip round two god i'm just gonna get a giant mayonnaise colored
odesmobile again yeah dude a youngsmobile dude yeah i'd get a prius i mean i've never given a
shit one bit about what my car
looked like or anything like that i've never you know it doesn't matter i just want something
that'll get me from a to b and that can carry skateboards in the trunk yeah i'm the same and
you know yeah i've been looking at el caminos but i get what you're saying okay el caminos get you
from a to b and it's a hot tub most of the time so i've been i've been looking heavy we don't get your a to b and stop at x for a while we could probably like cut this out but
i'm a little high so i need to say this what's what's so weird is like when you hear like white
guy ambition and you're like their ambitions are just so different like you just like i don't kill
my car looks like i'll just fuck around and I just wanted to be in the water.
And it's like,
that's dope.
No,
like,
no disrespect.
This is like,
no,
no,
I understand.
That's a real thought process
that I had,
for real.
You're right.
Be in the water
is perfect.
I'm listening to this shit
and I'm like,
as a black person,
like,
I want that.
Like,
I want this level
of just like,
I just want to live,
right?
But I still
have a desire for things because things still feel like validation because there was no other validation.
Right, right.
The small victories.
Whereas like, white guys just are validated.
And I don't even think motherfuckers get the power in that.
That like, once you're just validated validated you can just only want the water
so the niggas be looking at niggas like
why are you blowing money on a chain
and it's like it's people make
it simple like change make me feel like no it's
truly just like it's the water
man these are notches of validation
that keep me
motivated yeah that makes perfect
sense because I haven't been validated in any
other sense where it's like, you just walking around
validated, so you're like, let me just go fuck with this water.
That's dope.
There's no way that we'd cut that out. That's a perfect
point. And I know it's wrong, because like,
I know it's stupid.
And that's why I don't think white people get that
niggas are trapped in. I know it's dumb.
Oh, yeah.
I'm like, I don't, I
should not want this shit, bro shouldn't even what the fuck who
cares but i'm like nah i gotta get that drip though yeah i just want to be in the water is
perfect i just i gotta fucking fuck with that but i'm always trying to get to a space of like let me
just water out and for me that's watering out. You know what I mean? And I think for white guys,
white people here, they're thinking, like, we have our
stresses too, and like,
how we water out, we do this and that.
And it's like, all I'm saying is, you guys
get to think about another level now.
So your past watering out
this way. Now, yeah,
you still got stresses and shit,
and you gotta go through your own shit, but it's
like, as a black person, i'm just trying to get there where i'm not fucking just watering out on my
validation get to the lowest level yeah yeah buying it is the lowest because it's something
you could buy it buying it is something way uh way different yeah i don't know yeah you know
what i'm saying no i know exactly what you're
saying yeah yeah i'm sitting here i got stairs in my house there's a reason yeah i literally have
a prius without a bumper on the back of it and i just don't care because i am i'm literally trying
to get to that water i'm like man as long as i can get to the beach every now and then i'm fine
yeah and i'm like if i if i have a fucked up Prius, then people are not going to think that I'm successful.
And people are not going to respect the shit that I have accomplished.
And then I'm going to be looked at as less than. So, no, I can't have a fucked up Prius.
Because I see those off whites coming up. Right.
Yeah. Then they'll know.
And it's like that is such a fucked up space to be when you're grown
and you're constantly
validating yourself to still have
that shit over your head and know it's there
that you're looking and seeking
for a validation outside of you that has
shown you over and over that it doesn't
even respect you
I think you should
come up off those offlights too man you don't even
it's a mind fuck I'm think you should come up off those offlights too, man. You don't even. It's a mind fuck.
I don't think you need that.
I'm not there, nigga.
I'm wearing my shit.
But you know what I'm saying?
I feel it.
I feel it.
I feel it.
All right.
Priya, Sean.
Yeah.
Priya.
Time for my third and fourth pick.
Hold on.
Bianche.
Bianche.
There it is. That's the perfect amount of time. That was really good. Yeah. Bianche. Bianche. There it is.
That's the perfect amount of time.
That was really good.
Bianche.
Solange.
That was good.
That was a good one. Bianche.
Solange.
I love that Solange stays the same.
It's still just so hard.
I love that Solange stays the same.
It's still just so hard.
Beyonce is Italian, but Solange, she's black.
I bet you somebody would say that to you, like, Solange.
Well, no, Solange is an Italian, not an asshole.
Oh, man.
Time for my third pick.
With my third pick, I'm taking Tamagotchis, dude.
Yeah.
Whoa.
I never had a Tamagotchi, but they were just like a virtual pet, right?
I love that shit. It was a little virtual pet that you kept in your pocket, and you would feed it.
They came out with different kinds of them.
Someone would start with an egg, and then it would hatch into something.
You're like, oh, shit.
I guess all the Tamagotchis started as an egg.
Yeah, they were Tamagotchi eggs eggs yeah you put them on your keychain
there was different sizes you got the keychain size one or like a bigger one i had one on my
keychain hell yeah they were so fun they required so much fucking supervision like they would do
they would do all over the screen you had to like clean the doodoo up yeah you had to clean the
shit up you had to feed them you had to like play with them and stuff yeah my friends stole me one from my urban outfitters
they were tough to get like you couldn't you couldn't find them for a while i'm saying homie
my homie christian stole me one from my urban outfitters it was blue and pink that's clutch
they were a status symbol they were a real status symbol at my schools like if you had
a keychain right it was like the size of a keychain yeah yeah you could loop it on your little keychain it was kind of like this big like this kind of fat yeah and you
loop it on your little keychain and it had like four buttons and like one was defeated one was
and when you started to play with it too yeah and as soon as you pulled the little tab it hatched
you woke it up and it was alive and then it was like now it's go time yeah it was like off to the
races i need to eat it was
like animal crossing before animal cross i was literally about to say that it's exactly what
it was it was that same energy like i didn't know that's what animal crossing was even
it's like a grandiose version of it you could trace it back to tamagotchis you know like how
oregon trail is call of duty same I want to hunt. Oh, man.
That was the only good part.
Man.
Same type of flow.
I don't care if we can carry the meat.
I want to kill it.
Oregon, by the way.
And you want to feel the realism of people who are around you dying.
Like, oh, that bitch dead?
Damn.
Wait, did you guys ever kill your Tamagotchi?
Like, did it die?
Yeah, that shit could die.
That shit could die.
If you didn't send to it, that shit dead.
Could you kill it?
Could you restart it or was it just busted?
Yeah, you gotta restart it.
You just hold a little throw pillow over it until it dies.
That's right.
Send it home.
If you're a savage.
Yeah, I never had one of those either.
I didn't think this draft was going to make me feel so bad about myself.
I got an off-brand Tamagotchi late.
I never got the...
Oh, like the Nano?
The Nano Baby?
The Nano Pet or whatever.
It was like something like that.
It was never the pure, uncut Japanese shit.
Tamagotchi.
And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take the iMac.
Oh, yeah. Sean, you might be in the same room
as one right now, actually.
The iMac. I never had one at the house.
See that iMac right there?
That was flex. That was flex.
But the computer labs had them.
Sam, not only could you play Oregon Trail on that,
you could play Amazon Trail
and you could play Yukon Trail,
which were two sequels that came out that
were like plus oregon trail with the dope graphics on it yeah i've seen that one where like the shit
came up and it was it looked crazy it looked crazy when you went hunting like the birds look different
and all that shit oh it was fucking amazing i i suppose you could use it for other shit too but
like i primarily used it at the school's computer lab
to play those games.
I'm a bit older.
We didn't have these in school.
When I was of Oregon Trail age,
we had the original,
like the first apples that were ever out,
like the 1987 version or whatever it was.
Oh, the floppy disk,
like the actual floppy disk.
I remember that.
You put it in there. The ones that started beige disc i remember that you put it in the ones that
started beige locked it looked like it aged yeah the ones that look the same color as the off-white
the same guy yeah yeah yeah i remember those green graphics dude you put the disc in and they'd be
like 100 yeah they were absurd yeah dude those were we got like the beaverton school district was doing okay we
were doing okay so was the sioux falls school district i'm just old i guess is what i'm getting
maybe i guess so they had all the different colors and shit too you had like turquoise pink red purple
damn that would have been dope you had that at school yeah we had that in high school
so it'd be like go to the blue lab Or the green lab
Or the red lab
Whoa that's lit
Yeah yeah yeah
I was still in the blue lab by the way
Don't get it twisted
I came up in the blue lab nephew
Came up in the blue lab
Where did you go to high school David?
Elizabeth, Colorado
Oh shit
Oh this is also in 2004
But still
That's dope
Yeah it was pretty cool
It was like the best part about our school
Anyways
Yeah we had the I'm Act Up computer lab So that's your last pick? it was pretty cool. It was like the best part about our school. Anyways.
Yeah, we had the iMac'd up computer lab.
So that's your last pick?
We're doing four. That's my last pick.
Yeah, we're doing four.
Sean, time for your fourth pick.
Fourth pick, I'm going to pick a Palm Pilot.
They were something that didn't last,
but I remember when I got it,
I was like, I thought I was the shit.
You had a Palm Pilot?
We had to get one when I was in college.
They made all the freshmen buy one as part of being in school. Well, I thought I was the shit. We had to get one when I was in college. They made all the freshmen buy one as part of like being in school.
I had it on my list.
You're not wrong.
I worked at Sprint.
That shit was the future.
You got it.
It was a memo pad.
I remember getting it out and get the little stylus out.
I'm just like, yo.
With palm though, you're talking about the touchscreen one with the pen?
Yeah.
That's a palm trio.
650.
Yes.
There we go.
Since they all follow my palm, I take a trio. Is that the one? Yes. That's a palm trio. 650. Yes. There we go. Since they all fall on my palm, I take a trio.
Is that the one?
Yes.
That's the palm trio.
Yeah.
That's what I had first year of college.
That was the shit.
But with the color screen and the little and it had a touch thing.
It had the pad, too.
That was dope about it.
I bet you I didn't know.
I bet you 90 percent of the shit it did.
I had no idea how to do. They even taught a class on it. I just kept notes.'t know. I bet you 90% of the shit it did, I had no idea how to do.
They even taught a class on it.
What could you do on it?
I just kept notes.
That's all I did.
It was like notes and appointments.
It was everything your phone does now, but like it couldn't call or text or anything.
It was a touchscreen Blackberry.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
It was the same type of setup with the pad and with the scrolly, like looking like a desktop.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You could email, like you could write a note.
Yeah, you could email. I remember doing that. you could write notes out because i had a pen and it was like the first joint that did all that type
of shit it was like touch screen the palm pilot dude sean just out there looking like an enterprise
rent a car in the quad moving and shaking just writing shit down i like that i'm not mad at that
In the quad, moving and shaking, just writing shit down.
I like that.
I'm not mad at that.
Yeah.
Palm Pilot.
Writing down McTwister dope.
Taking note.
McTwister dope.
All right.
Palm Pilot.
All right.
Palm Trio.
Another thing you didn't have, Bori.
Damn.
Don't do that to me.
Don't do that to me.
I didn't have one either, David.
Yeah.
Don't do that to me.
I had a lot of stuff. I did feel weird calling you Bori.
I didn't like that. I'll never do, don't do that to me. I had a lot of stuff. I did feel weird calling you Bori. I didn't like that.
I'll never do it again, by the way.
That's funny.
Everybody called me Bori most of my entire life.
No, I don't like it.
That's a football thing, man.
I was commenting everywhere.
Yeah.
It's because it's on tape on your helmet.
I'm not that used to David, to be honest.
David.
Anyways, Palm Pilot Trio.
That's good.
Palm Pilot.
Sam, time for your final pick oh shit i'm about
to fuck you niggas up and i'm so glad no one got it because i was like i didn't really know how to
like play it i was like what's gonna be the vibe but i think that's a lot of this you know i mean
it's the vibe you don't want to be like a nerd ass nigga do some nerd ass shit when everyone's
going one way but we just call it being David. I'm going to say
Wi-Fi, bitch.
Oh, shit.
So we can do stuff.
Wi-Fi is hardware.
Okay, all right.
Don't white man my shit, Wi-Fi bitch.
Yeah, colonizer.
I wish I would have known.
I didn't even realize
it just snuck up on like it's like one of
those things you don't even realize when did it come out when did wi-fi start i googled it to be
sure yeah yeah i you just remember having it and also i've never known what wi-fi stands for is it
just because it rhymes it's wireless fidelity 98 right or maybe 98 wireless fuck 98 damn yeah that shit changed that did
change every i've had times yo god bless the wi-fi in san francisco at the they had wi-fi at the bus
stop i've been at the bus stop no phone service sending emails before wi-fi has made being homeless
better yeah it's like no bullshit like yeah it, but like, it's better than it was with no motherfucking Wi-Fi.
Yo, yeah, you could at least watch it.
I bet you there's homeless niggas that didn't have Wi-Fi that look at these homeless niggas like, bitch ass niggas.
Like, get up, nigga.
You got Wi-Fi.
Get a job, bitch.
No Wi-Fi now.
Do something.
Word.
They're all bootstraps all of a sudden.
Pull yourself up.
Get a job. You got Wi-Fi. You got a email account. they're all bootstraps all of a sudden yeah like what the fuck you talking about go to monster.com
you can make up an address nigga do anything fuck out of here and just sit on the corner
if you was a homeless nigga with no wi-fi looking at these niggas you would be losing it bro i bled
for this fucking millennials they're like talking millennials oh god come on wi-fi that's such a
great pick fantastic it also gave us people naming their wi-fi networks you know every every apartment complex has like a like unmarked FBI van is like a popular one
oh man
that one was so big I didn't even
realize you don't even realize
that's an invention like you in my
head it's like lasted as long as the internet
but of course not that's crazy it's electricity
yeah I don't know
I'm not gonna sit here and talk about how it works
yeah I was gonna say we gotta that's what it is in your mind It's electricity. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not going to sit here and talk about how it works.
Yeah.
I was going to say,
we're going to say,
that's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahitos and those are two different writers in the book.
But Itch Cream Co.
But Itch Cream Co. dude.
Oh man. David time for your final pick. The final pick of the draft.
We're only doing four picks
for the time being because it takes a
long time to edit down
Zoom drafts and
when we do the five picks it just adds
too much time. So we're doing this for super producer
Marissa Sanity
for all the listeners at home
David your final pick
I'm taking LimeWire
oh
is that software
is that software
can I take file sharing
no you can't take
cause I backed off
I was gonna say NBA 2K.
Yeah.
When we said games of software, I choked.
2K did change everything, though.
Tony Hawk changed everything.
Oh, damn.
What, you want to fight, nigga?
That fucked my whole time.
Yo, that fucked my whole shit. Okay. It sounded extremely confrontational when you're like
2k change everything and i go tony hawk change everything i just chimed in
in this climate like a whiny little good charlotte fan
tony hawk change everything you wanted to fight redacted
i just missed the message completely yeah yeah yep tony hawk tony hawk did too huh oh man redacted oh i thought that laugh was gonna go long enough for me to make a better
i know you did that's why i tried to stop i really wanted you guys remember that she was
like you want to fight it was crazy it's so it's so transparent
man fuck
shit shit it's on software flash drives yeah there you go yeah flash drives work that's a
great better than limewire no that's great that is better than limewire because that was change
the world like you could transfer information next but they may say so then you got sleek with
it like that's different bro it was one of those first technologies that became like you could be
it was nice but you could be frivolous with it yeah i mean where people were like you're gonna swipe it immediately
yeah and people would just be like giving out flash drives for shit you know for anything
yeah that was like the college fair you got 50 of them bitches yeah exactly exactly i still get
stoked there's those pens that have flash drives on them. It's like, hell yeah, I want a couple of those.
They're so good. Bro, and also it was like, weirdly, like, you could also just like blow your computer
up for one, but you kept using it.
Like, you could literally use this thing.
You could just blow your computer up.
Like, they were also like, they were also so unstable.
Another unstable, like, but dope technology where it was like, bro, you put this shit in and the wrong thing and you're dead.
Like, what the fuck?
Your computer starts getting all hot and making a weird noise.
You smell like, you smell ozone.
Your computer would always be trying to be so polite about you taking it out.
Like, please deactivate it before you pull it out.
You never would.
Your computer's just like a patient mom.
Clean your room.
And you never did.
To this day, when I put one in, I always think there's going to be a gas mask pop up on my screen and be like, you're fucked.
Like your whole life, motherfucker.
You are a child molester now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got this at the park.
The fuck?
Yeah.
Every time I'm terrified, I'm like, don't be the day.
Like a gazelle trying to drink
out of the water we're seeing what's on it like a nut you're like but what's on this
motherfucking oh yeah maybe something cool sometimes you did it and it'd be like a ill
playlist some music you ain't heard some maybe it's that little way in that little way in modest
collaboration that i keep it downloading on the maps and it's kind of weird that like every generation has their like,
I had to walk in the snow.
You know?
It's like ours was like
finding hard drives
and being like,
what it is.
It's worth it.
It's worth it.
Let's try to,
like looking at the quality,
like is this a good hard drive?
This is probably straight.
If it's some trash shit,
some flimsy shit,
nah,
I'm not putting this
on my computer.
Like that might be crazy.
But I'd be like, Generation Ghost, that weird shit.
Yeah, that was ours.
Not a bad Through the Snow.
That's a great pick, David.
And that's the final pick.
David, you went first.
To recap, you took the Sony PlayStation, spinning rims,
the cassette adapter, and flash drives.
I stand behind it.
Log out.
Sam, you took plasma screen TVs, the Nextel Push-to-Talk, the T-Mobile Sidekick, and Wi-Fi.
No, I get it.
Sean, you went third.
You took the iPod, the camera phone, the Toyota Prius, a passion of yours.
A longtime passion of yours.
I'm going to steal your car.
You keep talking.
And the Palm Pilot.
I went last, and I took the Nintendo 64, the Blu-ray, Tamagotchis, and
IMAX.
I think we covered it, man. Bluetooth is the only thing
I had sitting on there, but I didn't ever have one.
This shit wildly matches
motherfuckers' personalities.
Yeah.
It's the thing that Sean picked everything to go
golfing.
He's like a trio, a prince.
Yeah.
You're like dad
in the suburbs.
Yo, he went crazy.
I'm wearing a polo shirt
right now.
Yeah.
And then you went,
you know what I'm saying?
And then Ian just went like,
I'm from a place
where white people
weren't really knowing
what we were supposed to do.
Like Tamagotchi,
he shit crazy.
We were,
we were grass mistrust. There wasn't a lot of non-white
people to sort of like let us know i was straight like hood like let me get the phones let me get
the shit that was right there that i was fucking with this is cool and i was playing cds in the
car he was doing utah i was in colorado playing cds in the car that's colorado black boy african shit though
real excited about it but is that not colorado 100 black boy african shit it's like what else
was you gonna be doing i was gonna pick a volvo next we want to hear your picks hit us up at all
fantasy pod uh on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the afe patreon remember we have that live stream coming
for you on the 8th shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to saint sue carmel
shout out to uh what else you got a couple shout out to echo boomers on instagram we converse
regularly shout out to custodians all over the place doing the good work oh yeah shout out to david swink happy birthday on august 7th enjoy your 29th year around the sun my friend
those are my beautiful shout out to uh frankie ocean shout out to sid the dude shout out to
haji beef shout out to jumping on a trampoline at at burning man dude shout out to uh shout out
cheerios no shout out to whatever kyle canade's new album? No, shout out to whatever Kyle Kinane's new album is called. Mattress?
Trampoline in the Pool.
No, that's not it.
Something like that. Trampoline in a ditch.
Trampoline in a ditch.
Shout out to Kyle Kinane in general.
Shout out to home ownership,
bro. It's fucking tight so far. It's been
one day. And more boy than all of that.
Tune in again next week for another brand
new episode of All Fantasy
Everything. Shacklackity! that was a hate gum podcast