All Fantasy Everything - The Movies That Are The Hardest To Get Your Partner To Watch (w/ Shane Torres)

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

The Hispanic Titanic is back with a peak-AFE topic.Guest:Shane Torres (X @shanetorres, IG @shanetorres)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting the movies that are the hardest to get your partner to watch. Our guest today is our good friend, stand-up comedian, an honorable... Our guest today is our good friend, stand-up comedian, an honorable, I don't even know if it's honorable, at least member of the touring AFE band. Yeah, I'm like that guy who comes out and just, when the Stones get too old and they need a sax player. Who's that guy with the beautiful hair? Nothing, nothing, nothing means nothing.

Gotta have something. Everybody wanna be with me. Is that Louis Armstrong? Ain't trying to be your hero. You know what I'm talking about. Michael Bowden? No, he was the fifth Beatle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

God, oh my God. Ain't trying to be your hero. Oh my God. He had that cover of Jealous Guy. No idea. Billy Preston. Billy Preston. Billy Preston. Okay.

I'll take that. Thank you. The Billy Preston of AFE, Shane Torres, is our guest today. Also, sorry if we're just singing the same song over and over again to get you guys to know who it was. You know that one song I know? It's that one. Oh, wait.

Donny Hathaway had to cover a jealous guy. Never mind. If you had done it with Shane's, a bunch of... Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. With me, as always, are my good friends, Sean Jordan and David Borey.

Let's get into the podcast, which has already started. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that got Billy Preston and Donny Hathaway confused just a second ago. I don't know who Billy Preston is still. Fifth Beatle, dude. I don't think I've ever heard that song. You have heard that song.

You've heard nothing from nothing leaves nothing, so you better have something. Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane. When Shane does it, I can hear it. Shane, Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane the next six months. That song, still, it does not get skipped. That and Picture Me Rollin' are the two songs I don't skip. And I didn't know what that song was until, what, four years ago, five years ago? Same old G. I love it. It's crazy to me that you didn't know what that song was before. Well, because I'm like, Genuine, I'm like, well, I got a CD. I was on TV once, so maybe I'm still the same old G.

Me and Genuine doing the same shit out here. I'm going to put some liquor in there. Jamishon. Ginuwine and Jamishon. Jamishon. That sounds like your reggae tone alter ego. Jamishon. Jamishon.

Sound system. Redem selector. Them female mans I cracked myself up the other day I was talking about yo them female mans Bro Did it again Yo them female mans

Is that from something? No we were just driving around We were talking about basketball like yo them female mans is getting good at ball So the layers of his character it's a British Oh yeah sorry I went way off topic there Like, yo, them female mans is getting good at ball. So the layers of this character, it's a British. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I went way off topic there.

No, it's great. It's wonderful. That same old G song. You know how, like, you'll hear a song a lot during it, and it will imprint on a specific period of your life? Oh, yeah. To where you have, like, a weird connotation for it? Same old G. I listened to so much when I was playing Ultima online

in middle school that I like associated with doing like dungeon runs and like killing, you know what I mean? Like killing lich kings. That same old G. Same old G. You know what song I associate with middle school is that I'm blue song. Oh, yeah.

Because that was just on the radio all during my middle school. And everybody would say, you know that song saying I'm in need of a guy, right? You remember that? That's what it is? No, that's what kids at school were saying. No, that rumor didn't make it to my circle. Really? You never heard the in Need of a Guy?

No, not In Need of a Guy. So what is the, like, I'm blue, like I just need a dude? I'm in need of a guy, and I'm in need of a guy. I'm in need of a guy. Oh, no! That's Abadida? Yeah. I'm in need of a guy, and I'm in need of a guy school song would be, honestly.

Really? Yeah, I can't. Maybe it was probably something off of like the Dookie album. Honestly. We're the same age, right? Yeah. I listened to so much Tool in middle school. I was like really into it.

In ninth grade, I got there. Really into Tool. Was that early? I've seen Tool five times. You see, I've never seen them live, but I love like. It's quite a show. So part of that Ultima Online experience was like, you'd be playing video games for like eight hours a day. So I would just listen to the radio and I would listen to 94.7 people in Portland of a certain age will understand this.

That was like the alt rock stage and then 101 K UFO, which was like the butt rock station. And I would just switch back and forth between those. Was it dark when you played Ultima Online? Like, were you in the dark? Sometimes. Personally? You're listening to Genuine in the dark playing Ultima Online? Wearing your Winnie the Pooh shirt?

That is the exact picture. Wearing your socks and you step into the kitchen and you slip. Is this a weird question? Were you clothed? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You gotta wear clothes. Oftentimes it was the family computer. That was still like the family computer days. That's wild. Okay. So you were in like the living room situation. Sometimes. The family computer day.

The family computer. It would get to the office. Your kids will be like, you guys only had one computer in the house when you were growing up that's crazy where'd you jerk off dad that one I would stare up at the stairs believe it or not son

I jerked off next to the china in a big open room the whole basement could see me in my private bathroom at my office. I used to... My old roommate told me... I don't know why I'm saying this. That his dad would just go into his office after work

at the house and drink Canadian Club and listen to Private Dancer by Tina Turner on repeat for hours. Whoa. What? Yeah, like you would just smoke and drink Canadian Club and listen to that song. More than once? Yeah.

That song's like seven minutes. And it's insane. The lyrics are insane. Like, I love Tina Turner, but like, when she's like, All these men come in these places. That's not a respectful rendition. Who can do Tina Turner?

No one can do Tina Turner. And the men are all the same. You don't even look at their faces. And you don't ask their names. That's such a great song, it's a weird song after work getting drunk though

get outside the door can't wait to get to my Canadian club you just came home from a business trip in Tampa that's all he's thinking about he's like I can't wait to get to the room shut the door pour a huge glass of CC.

Huge. Are you cranking off? No, no, no. Respectfully listening. Just getting slowly tossed. This is solely a mental jerk. I'm edging. I'm emotionally edging with Tina Turner.

I'm edging the private dancer. Go in there and soak for a while. Where's dad? Probably edging the private dancer. Go in there and soak for a while. Where's dad? Probably edging the private dancer. Fucking, you know, he's in there doing his thing. What, your dad doesn't do that? Painting model trains listening to one Tina Turner song over and over again. That's what life

used to be like, man. I remember me and my buddy Brandon Carroll. Shout out to him wherever he is. We were painting models once and we had a vhs copy of beavis and butthead do america and we watched it eight times in a row while we painted models yeah yeah eight times because we just had it you're like that's the movie we have oh and content wasn't endless then did your mom ever like rent you a movie for the weekend like you get one oh yeah yeah i'm about to watch sidekicks 12 fucking times yeah dude yeah dude i remember

when mortal combat was available at blockbuster to rent it was like charlie's golden ticket man yeah yeah you know what i watched your mom too because you were like your mom was like well they're gonna shut the fuck up all weekend yeah they're gonna beat each other senseless on sunday when i bring the movie back. I watched the Mario Brothers movie 12 times, probably. The Bob Hoskins one? Yeah, weirdly. And John Leguizamo? Yeah, it's a good movie.

It's not a good movie, but it's a good movie. We had his dad's movies to watch, so it was like... It was like Platoon, and Lethal Weapon, and Lethal Weapon 2, all these 40- 40 year old guy movies we're going to talk about we might be saying Peck

when I was like 10, 11, 12 we'd be like alright let's put Platoon on and go to sleep and we'd do it all the time that was a Simon Torres special Platoon before bed alright what do you want to watch to go to bed Lethal Weapon or Platoon my dad was always

checking the spine of the VHS to see if they had nudity in them. And we got those ones. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Still, it's a fun joke. Like when House of the Dragon's on or something and they come up with that and I'll just start clapping

and like hooting and hollering right in Laura's face. Got some nudity coming up. See some dude getting topped off in episode three. Some guy was getting a knobber. It was crazy. I was not ready for that. I haven't watched the season yet. I watched the newest episode last night with Ilana.

It ain't a real deal. Cunnilingus has made it into HBO sex scenes a lot more than it used to. There's a Cunnilingus in last night. Not penis in a mouth like a popsicle. It hasn't. That was not something I've ever seen before. Wait, I didn't see a knob and Not penis in a mouth like a popsicle. It hasn't. That was not something I've ever seen before. Wait, I didn't see a knob and a penis in a mouth? Fully. Like going, bobbing

on it for like four seconds. You don't see a shaft. Oh yes. It's not a real penis but oh yes, you see shaft. What? I don't remember that. Right when he's taking that new squire into the... What were you doing that you didn't recognize somebody getting blown?

Yeah, I was shocked. We ruined it. He takes the squire into the whorehouse or whatever and he catches his brother in bed with the first woman that he ever laid with, you know, and he starts making fun of his brother. You remember that scene? He catches the Scarface dude

in there. It's like, it's right when they go in there, the first or second curtain they open, on the bottom left-hand corner, yeah, I watched it five or six times, on the bottom left-hand corner, there's a girl fully blowing a guy, moving her head with what would be a penis. It's just,

it's clearly not a real penis. I cannot wait to hear what you have to do when you give a sex talk because this was horrible. I'm just going to show... I'm not going to say anyone's getting topped off. I think I'll boogie my consent in there

on that one. I think that might be... You need the kid gloves. I'll be on the sidelines. I'll be around. But yeah. You'll be in the office listening to private dancer drinking Canadian club. It'll be loud.

Sean's going to be seeing Genuine in South Dakota three days before Snow Jam 2029. So I'm going to go eat this paycheck up in concessions at my genuine not really drinking as much but you developed a very expensive nacho habit and then i'll come home i'll come home with a real good memory and and uh you know less money than i left with but i'll be happy that's sean jordan sean jordan on twitter sean cougar metal jordan on instagram

who's gonna be uh maybe or maybe not giving this act stock where can people see you this is coming up this week baby oh shit really we're current JD Vance just named the nominee Chicago or wait Minneapolis Sisfis Brewing with Zach Disconi

August 10th and then Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge August 13th yeah those will Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge. August 13th. That's it, baby. Attaboy. Yeah, those will be fun. I'm excited for those. Other than that, just chilling.

I'm in Portland. Got the month. Oh, I got the Pickles email, baby. Yay! Gonna schedule it right after this, I think. So, yeah. I'm excited. Catch me throwing out a first pitch at some point.

Walking in the... You're throwing out a pitch in the Portland Pickles game? Yeah. I've been wanting to, and Ian brought it up last time. I'm going to show up to see you fucking blow it. I ain't going to blow it, baby. I'm going to burn it. You're going to skip that thing like a rock. I can tell. This is Ashley Schaefer's BMW.

Who wouldn't want to see you burn one down the middle? Man, I can't do that. Then every asshole wants me to smoke one for him. I can't do that then every asshole wants me to smoke one for him I can't just be throwing a fastball would be a fun I can throw I can put a football and a baseball pretty accurately where I want them that's the only thing I was good at in any sport were those two things are you studying the game tape of Jeremiah Coughlin throwing up the first pitch of the Pickles game. Wide right, baby. Wide right on JC. Yeah, he blew it.

Yeah. No, you got the key is you got to lob it. That's what I hear. You got to like lob it up. We call that a coward's throw. Well, then you go 50 cent style. It's America's pastime. And I guess the men are past too, because that's how a fucking girl would throw it.

I need you to put some fucking heat on it. Put some mustard on there. Isaac, cut that part out and put it on a different podcast but make sure it's on a podcast somewhere just not this one but i want shane to get in trouble the girls can't throw let's go ahead and put that on well you play baseball like a girl remember that beloved childhood film and how sex is like a girl yeah baseball was just one of the nouns they threw in there. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You got to smoke it down the middle.

I think go hard or go home, dude. I'll try. Give him a two seam. I think I can. What is it? 60 feet? Is it 60 or 90? I'm an idiot. Throw him the cheddar.

Give him the cheese. Yeah, dude. Give him the stinky cheese. The parmesan pellet. Come on, dude. Let's see how the kid feels about the old number one. Come on, Ricky. Give him the heater.

Give him a fucking curveball, dude. I'll throw a knuckleball. I'll do it like there's a spider on my hand. Give him that Tim Wakefield heat, dude. What do they call it in Major League? He calls it the... God damn it. I forget what he calls it. When he puts a snot on the ball?

He has a name for it. Anyway, I'll put some Vagisil on there. Throw him a sink and slider. There you go. David Bortnese here. We'll get Joke 77 on Instagram. Your face is hilarious. Easy.

You guys have never seen Major League? No, of course I've seen Major League. He's got Vagisil on there. He says it. i'm not the anyways uh you get name me fuck you guys i didn't make it up i'm good dude i'm great cool guy jokes 87 on instagram uh go to patreon.com backslash David Borey. The special Birth of a Nation

coming out August 1st. Go on the Patreon. You can sign up for free. There's like 33 videos up right now. A bunch of fun stuff. We got interviews coming. It's all great. And the specials for purchase

August 1st. But all that content is free. Having a good time over there. There's like 1,300 of you right now, so thank you. First week of sales mean a ton, so I would love it if you did that. And then Exploding Kittens to watch on Netflix. That's pretty funny. People are liking that.

I'm in that movie The Instigators for what ended up being one line. So, you know, if you like Matt Damon and me. That's a crucial line. Pretty crucial line. Saw the billboards. Saw the billboards. It's up, dude. It's up there.

It's on Sunset Boulevard. Go put like one of David's headshots. Just like jump it up there. Get it like right on the bottom corner. That would be amazing. I got a lot of free time right now. And you got a lot of David's headshots. I got a lot of David's headshots. I got a lot of David's head shots.

I got some wheat paste. I'm good, man. You'll see me up there in a cherry picker. Do they still make rubber cement? Oh, yeah. They might. You don't like to get high, bro? They make rubber cement. Put enough of that in a paper bag, you'll have a good Friday night.

You can get it past a metal detector at an usher concert man it's fucking check in the airport i'm like you think you can just bring rubber cement to the airport bar and huff it oh dude i'm at the usher concert getting mental that's what we call it right yeah i was out there acting like a five-year-old getting mental getting mental daddy's home you know what I mean yeah dude I was on Jupiter with Mel Gibson he's saying confessions and I was like

a whacked out six-year-old I don't know what was going on dude I think Sean grinding the OMG dude high off of his ass on rubber cement I don't think I would cry Usher but I think he would be transcendent I think you would be transcendent. Yeah, he's amazing. I think you're having a great time at that concert.

You, Alana, and Sean. If you're a member of the Patreon, you know that my wife is super into the idea of me going. Sean, fresh on the heels of a divorce. Getting all the feelings out two nights in a row at Usher. I don't think you want to be the divorce guy at the Usher concert.

That's the problem. What do you mean I can't smoke a Swisher in here? I'd like to see you stop me. He's smoking Swisher. Cut the head out of my hand then. Trump survived. I'm smoking the Swisher. Fuck you and every woman wearing hoops in this place.

He's got a big Echo hoodie on. I tried to show Trump what he couldn't do, too, and look how that turned out. I'm smoking this thing. There it is. Shane Torres is here. Shane Torres on Twitter. Shane Torres on Instagram. Where can people see you, Shane? This week, you can catch me in Bloomington, Indiana,

at the Comedy Attic. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Some tickets still available. And then you can catch me in Dublin, Ireland next week at the Ivy Gardens Comedy Festival. And you'll be having me pots of gold if you catch me there. And then London at the Bill Murray Comedy Club. Give us British.

Don't go back to change. I don't know how to do a Brit. I don't know how to do an Irish one. You don't know how to do Irish either. It's just a sober Irish one. Dublin, Ireland. Okay. At the OV Gardens Comedy Festival.

Myself, Tommy Tiernan, Matt O'Houlihan, and of course, Billy Gardell of Mike and Molly. Is Billy Gardell going to be there? no was he in Mike and Molly? I think about him as of the Boondock Saints and then also stop naming picks dude

I'm sorry I'm so sorry guys that's a good point that's definitely so high up on the list cut that out cut that out cut that out

that's one that's gonna go I don't even think Laura would let me finish saying the title in London in Islington I think is the neighborhood Islington

is that right I am you know what I mean yeah oh yeah more like Jeslington in London, England so if we got some

international AFV fans that that would be huge. And also Burlington, Vermont, the 16th and 17th of August. And your boy will be hosting the Strip Club Awards in Dallas, Texas. Oh, yeah. That's right. Wait, when? It's not going to conflict with my Usher show, is it? Because I want to go to both.

No, because I'm in Dallas in August. It's the 27th of August. It's the beginning of the week. Shane, I'm in August. I'm at the Dallas Comedy Club, August 23rd and 4th. I will come early if you want to hang out. I will stay two extra days

to watch you host the strip club. You'll be coming early. All right. I think I might. By the way, David, Sean, my contact, who you're going to love, just said, I know everyone on the Usher tour. Why do you ask? I got two friends.

If there's a hookup, I can definitely go. No, I'm trying to get one for my girlfriend. Sean, I'm trying to take my girlfriend. Sean, you need to back off this one a little bit. You have to back off this one a little bit. Why the fuck would I want to go see Usher with you? I love you. I'll go in a whole different part of the arena.

Ian, talk to your man. I'm trying, man. You don't hear me trying. You picked the wrong person to tell me was in town. That's just, there's like just over the top. I wrote back, I have two straight male friends who want to bring their Sid Diff and others to usher Denver. David and Alana get first dibs. This is absolutely true.

Oh, what a hero you are to give David Alana first dibs on my hookup. If there is a third dib, I will. I would love it. She said I can't ask for tickets, unfortunately. Damn. I'm still going to buy them. I'm just going to buy them. A crisis averted.

John, we've seen what happens when you go to high planes early, man. A different one has arisen where I buy a ticket to Usher now. You don't have to do this. And then on Saturday, you got nothing in the tank Yeah there's probably Also he's probably going to Portland I can't imagine that I'll get the go ahead So I

Really she seems so thrilled about it Yeah Excuse me I looked over my shoulder like she's Going to be in the room No I can't imagine that's going to get approved but she said let me ask the question she goes it's a great show and it's a little weird that I'm not out there with them

so maybe well keep us abreast of that ongoing conversation I'm sure we'll get an answer soon she's sharp my name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel across platforms keep buying t-shirts. Swim club. We've sold 5,000 books. That's crazy.

It's a success. 5,000 anything. That's sick, man. Boy job. Uh, thank you so much to everyone who's listening to this, who bought a copy or told friends, told family, got it from a library, got the audio book. I truly, truly appreciate you. Thank you so much, I mean I also

the amount of wonderful messages I've gotten from people has been like very very touching and very, very cool and the fact that the book hit with people the way I'd hoped it was and that my sister hoped it would when we were writing it and the fact that it has

for some of you has just been very cool I know I'm not usually the earnest one on here, but it has been everything I could have hoped for more. 5,000 copies? 5,000? We crossed the 5,000 mark. One for each book Sean's read in his life. So it's like an actual success. It's a success!

He was a bestseller three weeks ago, what do you mean actual? I don't know what some of those charts mean sometimes. That's fair, I don't know. But like, I mean, like, it's like, I don't know what some of those charts mean sometimes, you know, like I don't. Yeah. And like that's amazing. Thank you. That's fucking bananas. The publisher considered they now officially consider it a success,

a successful book. So that's awesome. It's been hitting with people. I'm going to be on the Adam Carolla podcast this week talking about it. That'll be interesting. Finally, you got now that you have the right week to do it on since uh we're gonna it's gonna be so ripe with political oh my god it's gonna be it's gonna be a uh a real hellscape on i don't know i think it'll be fun i think

it'll be fun to talk about i like i mean like i don't know if i agree with him he's a very funny entertaining person a lot of the time yeah he's fucking he's a very funny dude um leaving amazon reviews can help a ton uh leaving goodreads reviews still helps a ton those are things you can do for free that i would truly appreciate i know a lot of you already have and i really appreciate that and that's kind of it man i'm doing this i'm doing the book i'm already working on the next uh book getting that popping gonna? Gonna be seeing a lot more written word from your boy, Ian Carmel. You've written two more books than Sean has ever read by the end of this year. Sean, have you cracked

open T-Shirts Women Club yet? I cracked it open, and I did not start reading it. I had the intent, and then I just... What happened? Did you spill juice, and you had to sop it up with the book? I could tell I wasn't ready to focus. I opened it the night before I left and I was tired. Not yet. I was.

Laura's like, you gotta bring it with you. And I was like, I'm gonna start reading it. And I just got tired. He's trying to watch it while Tombstone was on in the background. He's like, what do people read to? Now wait a minute. What should I have on while I'm reading? Stay tuned to AFV for the ongoing saga of Will Sean Jordan. Yes, I will. Read the book of the man who saga of Will Sean Jordan yes I will

read the book of the man who officiated his wedding brought him a helmet signed by Tom Cruise I see it every day signed by Tom Cruise I walked into Tom Cruise's office I could have kept that for myself I like Tom Cruise I like Top Gun

I asked him to sign a helmet that didn't even have his quote on it it's Val Kilmer's quote and he signed it. I know. And it's in my living room and I'm gave it to my friend. If you haven't finished the book by the next time I'm in Portland, I'm taking the helmet. When is the next time you're in Portland? No,

no, no, you're not. And, but when is the next time you're in Portland? Yes, I am. No,

you're not. You could give it a shot, bud. I'll help him take it. Yeah. That's what you think you're going to do. I got fucking black ops training I'll be Ian's wingman

I've played Ultima Online and he can be my wingman anytime Sean will leave it at your house but I'll sign it too I'll sign the helmet too that's right that's what will be in it's place a different helmet signed by Shane Torres a cowboy's helmet

you're going to do the old rope-a-dope on me one day I'll just wake up. The Tom Cruise helmet's coming with me. If you haven't read my book by the next time. All Troy can do is get it there. All right. Gone. Let's bend the throne down.

Understood. It's coming home. Understood. I think I like to think that maybe you'll learn to quote books to the way you quote movies and you'll get really into reading. That would be fine. That would be great. That'd be drastic.

Let's not. Let's back up a little bit. Let's get the book in the can first. Let's get it up here in the old bear trap before we start down that road. Holy buckets, man. We beat on. Let's get the book in the can. He still uses movie terms to describe reading

a book. Hell yeah, dude. I was basically like a boat against the current born ceaselessly in the past, dog. Ian, if you write Entourage the book next, there we go. Reading. God, do you think it would even work or do you think the words would just disappear as you wrote them? Now let me

throw this at you. Have you cracked open Once Upon a Time in Hollywood the book? No. So I don't think you would read the Entourage one either. Yeah, I don't either. We're asking a lot of our boy. You also don't have to read the book. Shane, have you read his fucking book yet? I didn't get a copy yet. I didn't think so.

I bought a copy and I was given a copy. But I didn't go crazy saying I was going to read it immediately. That's right. I knew I had a long one. Well, in honor of you selling 5,000 copies, I'm going to go to the Strand and steal a copy. There you go. I'm going to go to the Strand and steal a coffee. There we go. I'm going to read a couple chapters for the wedding

so that when we see each other this weekend... Perfect. I enjoyed that. You know? Oh, Shocker's wedding this weekend, right? Yeah. Anyways. He invited me last second. I was like,

and I'll be shocked if sean has read the book by high plans let's get off my sack about it it's on the list it is the first thing on the list we've crossed the rubicon shane poured water all over his microphone no more than a half hour ago hey why don't you get your foot off my ball bag quit jacking me off over here why shane torres poured water on his microphone just a half an hour ago hey why don't you get your foot off my ball bag quit jacking me off over here why shane torres poured water on his microphone just a half an hour ago uh we've crossed the rubicon of joking into bullying and i will retract it read the book if you want to i truly don't care of course i uh yes you do and i want to care i want to read actually i actually don't care i actually you know You know, I feel like you do, Kerrion.

I feel like someone here doesn't care. Oh, you're pointing it. On my screen, you're pointing it, David. So I don't know what David is. You're just pointing to an off-screen and directly at a picture of Kevin Love as Lake Oswego Laker taking a free throw. Laker Oswego. That one was on my desktop.

I saw him play that year. Did you? In Oregon? At the Les Schwab? Yeah. Yeah. My buddy's friend At the Les Schwab? Yeah. Yeah, my buddy's friend put it on. I don't have shit else to perform, man, or to promote. That's it. Come see us at High Plains.

Just plug my dates again. Go see Shane. I'm staying off the road for a while. All of the special coming out late into August. We are gathered here today, not just to roast Sean for not reading my book which again i truly do not care why do you not care now i'm bummed of course i want you to care that i haven't read it that's rude it's rude of me no i need to be reading it i honestly i but no i i don't care

not in a mean way i totally understand yeah i'll read i'm you know? I'm going to, Max. Laura's got the cocoa. She can't go anywhere. I haven't caught four years. Four years of quote unquote going on. Read it to Max as a bedtime story. Skip some parts. Okay. Oh, well. Okay.

When you're reading it to her. Wait, do you talk about a different kind of cocoa in there? Quite a bit. Quite a bit. Somebody messaged me saying as for a health book, which is not a health book, but I still thought it was funny.

This health book mentions cocaine more than any other book. Holy. Yeah. A lot more cocaine than I ever would have expected in a book

about being healthy. I just finished Dean Carmel's book. I think I'm supposed to do coke. Yeah. There's a mirror in the last page.

Take a good look at yourself. We are drafting movies that are the hardest to convince your partner to watch. This was an idea that Shane, you came up with while we were driving around on tour. Did I? I think so, right? I think so.

Maybe. I'm not saying I did. I can't recall. I don't know if the bus stop we were near. We were all tossing a lot of things around in the van on the drive this is one of the only ones we can repeat that we were tossing around this was right before we started listening to Steely Dan

yeah on the way to what was the long drive on the way to Chicago or something Chicago was a long drive that was a good drive we just fucking had the ox pop them we recorded a mailbag somewhere on that drive that was a good drive we just fucking had the ox poppin we recorded a mailbag somewhere on that drive it was fun

that was the beginning Shane came up with this idea we think while we were driving around on tour we had to cut something out so we're coming back in maybe it'll be awkward I have no idea it's movies that are the hardest to get your partner to watch obviously we cannot speak in

universalities here there are plenty of men who don't like these movies women who love these movies people who have partners that aren't the opposite sex people yada yada yada yada are we are we going specifically our partners or what we think because it's going to be different mine will be a little different my current partner but also other partners just times i've had this struggle because i think everybody can relate to that yeah because then i get then i don't have any pics because i just watch movies alone right now there's from me me to laura there's some really weird tough cells where you would gender norms would would would say that oh crazy it's hard for you know you know what we'll get into that's exactly what we're gonna yeah yeah there's

definitely a few where it's like you're the one that wants to watch that in this relationship so a couple of those really oh well i guess we'll hear about them yeah we'll talk about it then there's a couple that are like almost nobody wants a little bit of column a a little bit of column b where it's like a little specific to dana but also just general two relationships right that i've had yeah uh in fact it's for me it's almost completely the latter because dana's actually pretty good about watching stuff but i've had a couple pushing a rope up a wall moments yeah yeah it's definitely always a hard do you ever have it and we'll talk about it but

have you ever had it where you're explaining the movie and you're like fuck this is dumb as shit yeah you're like why would i want to watch this you're like why do i like this yeah yeah oh well tell me about it and you're like okay they're selling coke right so robin william Williams invents he's a scientist and he creates something called Flubber. He looks like a man, but he's a kid. Yeah. He rips a heater out of someone's mouth and breaks it in half.

It's awesome. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No way. We have to throw again.

We have to throw again. It translated digitally. Just like on tour. You guys throw one of each. Here we go again. We all got naked, just like we did every live show. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ah, Shane wins. all got naked just like we did every live show rock paper scissors shoot ah shane wins a rock against two papers flying in the face of god shane as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent

upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that it's a great question sometimes when i eat corn on the cob i start at the left and i go all the way to the right i've done this one before i just did it the other day that's why that's why it's up but i go all the way to the right and then i just cock it like a inch or whatever and then go all the way to the left you know just turn it like an inch and then all the way to the right again so just back and forth turning it just about an inch every time about half the time i eat corn on the cob like that. The other half I just go in circles and move to the right. You're knowingly airing repeats?

Not knowingly. It's been a lot. Oh. I thought you just said you realized you had just done this one. No, I ate corn on the cob like this. Oh. Okay, okay. No, no.

I wouldn't do you guys like that, Dirty. I may have said that. No, please. I mean, go ahead. It's summer. Summer's the time for fucking reruns, baby. Come on, baby. Yeah. That would be for fucking reruns yeah cutlet sandwich after this we're all going crazy yeah let's just draft fucking taco bell menu items again dude bean burrito no onions we got to do it at some point because they're all

new they have so many new menu items by the way yeah dogs i don't i eat taco bell so much less now i never never i don't know if I've had it this year. Yeah. It'd be kind of funny. This would be like even more fun. Like a salad. We could go do it live from a Taco Bell dining room. I've always thought that'd be tight. We have to go to the cantina.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they got, they got one. Do they have one in Denver? I don't know. Do they?

They had one in Madison, Wisconsin. They have one in, there's one, although that makes sense. Yeah. I was going to had one in Madison, Wisconsin. They did. Although that makes sense. Yeah. I was going to say, those college kids, they'll keep it running. Keep the lights on. Basically, what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round,

you pick first in the second round. Now, Shane, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? It will be David, Sean, me, Ian. Ooh, hot corner. Okay. Hot corner, hot corner. Okay. Hot corner. Hot corner. Well, hot corner.

Well, hot this corner. Oh, man. Too hot to try. I always want to bring stuff up and I realize it's not relevant. It's only going to be funny to you guys, but I guess that's what a podcast is. I'm just figuring this out eight years in. We were at the pool, though, the other day. Something you just said reminded me of how we always say body.

And nobody was getting my joke, but somebody wanted to take a picture of us, and I was like, how's my body look in the picture? And they were like, it's alright. I was like, my body looks good? How's my body look? And they're just like, it's fine. We're just trying to take a photo. I don't know. I would think anyone would find that funny.

It sounds funny. I thought, yeah. I was even like, no, it's not okay. Is my body... Were you half speeding on the voice or were you going full voice? No, I was going yelling, but like, hey, how's my body? Nobody got

it. I thought it was fun. I think you were... I kind of think you were kiddie stepping on the voice. Maybe. It was an extremely public pool, so I didn't want to actually freak anyone out. Yeah, dude. David, you have the first pick

in this draft. The hardest movies to convince our partners to watch. All Fantasy, Everything Draft. We're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you.

We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life

insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They

just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about,

but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team.

They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com

or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. PolicyGenius.com. in movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's a science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way of learning a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're

handcrafted by over 200 language experts, and they're ready to get you talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you, and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it.

You know, Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key, conversation. You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10 minute segments. They're perfect for, say someone like myself,

don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out, little 10-minute segments. They're perfect for, say, someone like myself. Don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out. Boom, you're done. And don't just try a word-for-word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old lady's alma mater, and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours

is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy,

spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply we're back welcome back to all things everything the only podcast that has ever existed shane torres is eating a sandwich that's another podcast we try to wrap i'm allowed to have one carb per meal that was a podcast we tried to start and it didn't it didn't take off but we tried i would listen to Shane Torres this evening. I would too. I've got to figure out a new pod.

Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's dank. Well, are you and Kyle not doing the podcast anymore? No, we stopped.

We stopped like a month ago, but we had a good run. Yeah. Great run. Yeah. We're ending. This is the last day of a. Yeah.

Well, the thing is that, Oh no, I just got diarrhea. We tried is that we tried to start a podcast and then we found out you guys were the only podcast that ever existed out of respect you let us off with a warning

and now I have to come here and you know pay the piper that line you just said is in a movie that I'm going to talk about at some point out of respect you don't get to go first you just said is in a movie that I'm going to talk about at some point. Oh, I know which one. You don't get to go first. David does. David, it's time for your first pick. David, take his movie off that quote.

My first movie, I mentioned this one to my girl and she didn't know of it and also said, I don't want to think about that. So I'm taking Freddy Got Fingered. It's just, I can't think of a movie that is more of an uphill battle

throughout the entire fucking thing, man. Oh, that's fucking perfect. I didn't even think of it. Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some Daddy would you like some And you try to explain to someone how funny it is He gets in the deer

The look on someone's face When you try to explain that that's funny And they're like doesn't sound funny She straight up was like I don't want to think It's like pitching to a network executive Like shutting it down That's how you know

tom green had to be white hot at the time white hot because the otherwise married to drew barrymore yeah yeah otherwise how do you even get that made the movie is like a dad in it it's like a fever dream what i don't even remember what it's about. It's like Freddy is his little brother and he says that somebody fingers Freddy but it didn't happen. I can't quite even remember the...

He fingered. Is Rip Torn in that movie? That's the dad. So isn't there... Doesn't he like take his shirt off and he says isn't he going like you wanna do you want me to fuck you or isn't it there's some crazy scene and that's how there's

like a rumor gets started that Freddy got fingered or something see this is insane how could somebody watch this? Unemployed 28 year old cartoonist Gordon Gord Brody leaves his parents home in Portland Oregon to pursue his lifelong ambition of obtaining a contract for an animated television series.

His parents give him a Chrysler LeBaron when she drives to L.A. and starts working at a cheese sandwich factory to make money. I only see one LeBaron, Freddie. Do you see two LeBarons? Because I only see one LeBaron. Keep going. Because I work at a cheese sandwich factory. Do you think you could get Laura to watch it though no way

no I got a better shot of getting Usher to watch it I'll tell you this I'm single but if they don't want to watch Freddy Got Fingered I'm staying single yeah not willing to mingle with anyone that doesn't like that Shani got single. They make fun of a woman in a wheelchair.

Yeah, this is also... Shaq's in it? I remember when... I remember watching it in junior high school, and I remember being like thinking... Because I was not a big Tom Green. That's not really my style of humor. So I even remember when I was a kid watching it, I'd be like, this is way too much.

Tom Green and his parents go to a family therapy session where Gord Ripthorn falsely accuses, oh, no, where Gord falsely accuses his father of fingering Gord's younger brother, Freddie. Okay. And then Freddie is sent to a home for sexually molested children, despite clearly being an adult. did this get made it is we i have a vivid memory of watching this with

my buddy cody and his parents and his dad just goes after it ended we just goes that's the dumbest fucking thing i've ever seen i watched it i remember watching it with my stepdad and he thought it was funny and i didn he thought it was funny and I didn't think it was funny I was like I don't like this yeah that's not something you want your stepdad to laugh at too hard no no no but you know this movie sucks

and you tried to get Alana to watch it with you I was just talking about movies with her this morning little litmus test right you weren't being like let's watch it because she's not even a big movie person in general so it was like but yeah she said i don't want this would be probably this is a fucking home run pick this might be the hardest movie to get your partner to watch i seriously you really you've come out of the gate pretty strong regardless i wasn't bummed out to go second and now i am because i didn't even

this is leaps and bounds ahead of any movie i thought i didn't even think about this movie yeah you're just gonna pick good movies that like you think rule yeah there's a lot of it where i'm like whoa why would you want to watch this the toronto star created a one-time new rating for freddie got fingered giving it a negative one star out of five stars. That's hilarious. CNN's Paul Clinton called it quite simply the worst movie ever released by a major studio in Hollywood history.

Roger Ebert gave the film a rare zero-star rating and listed it as one of his most hated films of all time. He said, the movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. The movie isn't the bottom of all time. He said, the movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. The movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. The movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. The movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels. The day may come when

Freddy Get Fingered is seen as a milestone of neocerialism. The day may never come when it is seen as funny. Damn. Richard Rober called it horrible. Leonard Maltin hated it. Find me the good review. Find me the good review,

and I want to know what that psychopath is doing. A.O. Scott of the New York Times compared the film to conceptual performance art and praised it guardedly and with a slightly guilty conscience. So he praised it. I do. Praise him. Wow. So he praised it. Kind of. Praise him.

Wow. So it's not even... It's interesting. I might have to watch it. I feel like I watched it when it first came out and I remembered nothing of it. I think I might have to watch it again. We had a moment with it where it was like...

It's not a rewatch. He goes and puts a horse's penis in his mouth. That's in that, right? Oh, that's right. I forgot about it. There's a horse... How is this movie not good? There's a horse laying on the side of the road. How is this movie not good with everything in the set?

Tell me this doesn't sound funny, though. He's driving down the side of the road and he goes, What? And it's like a horse with a boner and then he gets out. What are you doing with that horse? It's a stud farm, boy. What do you mean you don't want to watch this? Let's have a nice quiet night.

Maybe that's the next AFV watch along. Yeah, the first. The next and first AFV watch. Oh, that would be dope. We've done a few. Didn't we do some? That's true. We did The Crow. oh that would be dope we've done a few didn't we do some we did the crow the crow

that fucking sucked man that movie does not hold up that movie blows we're saying pics again sorry yeah Sean time for your first pic well man it ain't there but it's just it's the classic to me that popped in was Scarface

I just it's just it's the classic to me that popped in was uh scarface i just it's just not a good really no scarface is a good movie i think scarface is an amazing movie i don't think scarface isn't yeah who do you think you're talking to let's let's all take a step back for a second i think scarface is a tough sell to be like, let's watch this on a date night or something. It's just murder and drug dealing without any redeeming female character. The love story is not really... It's horrible.

He forces her. But I do think there's enough of a curiosity if someone hasn't seen this movie to be like, Scarface, it's really... I don't think it would be hard to convince Dana to watch Scarface. I think... To be like, Scarface, it's really... Like, I think... I don't think it would be hard to convince Dana

to watch Scarface. I think it is quintessential the dude movie that girls don't want to watch. And that... Has Laura seen it? No. We...

I brought it up and she was like, no, and I have no desire to watch it. Because it was the first thing I thought of when we thought of this a couple weeks ago.

But I think I even texted her. You would like her to see it. If she... I would love to watch Scarface. You would like her to see it. I would love to watch Scarface. You would like her to see it? She needs to see it? Yeah, I'd like her to see it. I would like her to see it. It'd be hilarious. Because there's so much

stuff that's just for where I'm in my fantasy, not even anymore, but like my 20s where I'm like absolutely read the plot of Scarface it's not pulled himself up from his bootstraps god damn it I don't need to read it

I don't need to read it man human immigrant doing all the quotes RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING

RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING RIPPING Why don't you shove your head off your ass and see if it fits I mean I agree with you it's tough because it's like a obviously a classic amazing movie but I do not think it's a hey let's watch this together movie

I think I could sell Scarface though because you're like it's Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer's in it. You know, it's considered who directed it? Tony Scott? No, Brian De Palma. Brian De Palma. It's also like, it is a movie

that is respected in a lot of circles all the same. You know, even though it's a guy movie or like guy movie, whatever you want to say. Hey, you don't have to convince me. You want me to go in the other room again? Well, I'm saying how, I'm not saying, we're not trying to convince you to watch it.

We're talking about, like, how you would sell this as a, you know, Oliver Stone wrote the screenplay. If I sold it, I would try to sell it as a classic is the only way I could see myself trying to get it going. I think in the, like, pretty quick on, you would get busted. They'd be like, oh, I don't know if this is what you sold me. Because you're right. They are all in that

movie. All that stuff is true. And then you get to watching it and you're like, oh, it's just about this one tough dude who turned into a drug dealer and bought a tiger and did all this stuff that dudes are like, hell yeah. I don't think in this anymore a woman would be like, oh yes, you're right.

This is an amazing movie. Again, this is one where I'm going off of my specific partner and it didn't happen. If you got mad about that one, you're gonna get pretty upset about the next one. I'm not mad at you. No, no, we're debating the picks as it is a

conversational podcast. Man, I haven't seen it in such a long time either, but I guess you know what you're going to watch tonight instead of reading Ian's book. I'm never more than 9 to 11 months away from a Scarface movie. Ian's going to put a Scarface DVD box on top of Ian's book.

What are you doing? I'm just looking at the DVD. I love the soundtrack to that book. 170 minutes. Wow. Oh, that's another. It's a slog. The soundtrack.

Take it to the limit. Welcome to the limit. Walk along the razor's edge. And you will get it. Then they just cut to him having a tiger oh yeah when he sits he's talking to Robert Lozier

that's where he says right I got two things in this world Frank my word and my balls I don't break them for anybody that's pretty cool it is so good it was the guy that plays his man his right hand man the guy that ends up...

Oh, Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio also? That would help sell it. If I just say that name, I feel like that would help sell it. That's a long name. It also is a good sell, I feel like. Who? Michelle Pfeiffer.

Michelle Pfeiffer's amazing. Yeah. She's great in that. It's like she just gets... That's my fife dog. She just... It's dog. She just, it's not a good life for her in that movie. Steven Bauer played Manny.

Yeah. I guess he, I never knew his name, but he's such a fun character actor in those, in those movies or like that role, I guess. But if Marie Abraham's in this, you got it,

dude, get, go get Laura on the horn again. We'll talk her into that. She was here. Now, she was here. I just, I feel like you might as well just pull up a chair f murray kill dude come on uh i just think of specific scenes where like the shower scene where they cut off where they cut off angels they cut off angel's arm and just i don't know i just get you don't leave with those you don't tell her about those

it's just funny thinking about what would happen during where I'm like oh alright later I'll just finish this that's when she takes off how much longer is left oh like two and a half hours yeah a hundred minutes yeah there's a lot there's a whole big storyline still that hasn't

happened that it gets worse but I first of all, classic. Absolute Stone Cold classic. Scarface rules. Hot tub in the floor in his bedroom. Go ahead. Shane Torres. Okay, so if this isn't allowed, I understand, but

I'm going to pick the Doctor Who movie that... I don't even know what that is. Sure, I just haven't seen it. I didn't know there was a doctor. It's a movie, right? Is it new? This is going from a story of my own.

Okay. Okay. So I, I didn't want to see it. So I'm the inverse of this. Oh, I like that. I have,

I, I have some sympathy for the woman who tried to share something with me from her childhood. The doctor, I guess it's been around forever that show from yeah forever it's like a soap opera almost but she was just like it's coming out i really want to see it i used to watch it with my family all the time and i go in a in my like one of the big hard no's for me was that it was a british television show like i just she

knows you can't do a british accent is this some irish shit or what it just was like i was like this shit looks like it's gonna suck and then she was like no and he's got an electric screwdriver or something and i was like who gives a fuck shade's welcome to swisher's suite it's like a magic he's got like a magic hammer or something right in it i don't i don't know anything about it i couldn't tell you it does make my brain shut down though even the graphic i'm like but then like it's like one of those things like james bond they've had a bunch of different people play this person right the doctor yeah right yeah yeah and uh and i went but i felt so bad because she was explaining some of it to me at the same time. Like she was like, this is what's going on a little bit, you know, nothing crazy.

But there was a point where like all these different Doctor Who's from the Doctor Who universe. Doctor Who-niverse. The universe is so big. They're all like fighting together at the same moment. And she's like, that was from when I was blah, blah, blah. And I was like alright fuck this but I you ended up

I dude hey stop saying pics bro you didn't get in I was like it was good but I feel and I had like this is the only thing I did well that whole night is I

was like I liked it but i just i just missed a bunch of it you know what i mean like because i didn't understand some of the stuff which was a lie i fucking hated it i thought it was boring and uh the other thing i remember is uh do you remember like this is this thing called fathom events that we do they would do in theaters yeah they ran a preview for one of those before the movie and she goes my mom and stepdad go to fathom events all the time and i was like is this what our life would be like if we keep going with it like i don't want to go do that shit like a fathom events is like where they're like the moscow ballet one night only and movie and then they'll show like a movie. I would do that too.

I fucking was absolutely not into that at this point in my life. Sean, I bet you and I would have a fucking great time at some Fathom. I really do. Sean, first of all, you should have pitched that to Laura first. Can we go see the Moscow Ballet at Lloyd Center? Yeah.

The Fathom. I was awful. Also, there's a thread but that's it i'm picking the doctor who movie from like i hear you from 10 or 11 years ago when i still lived in portland and dated a ballerina the hooniverse is really making me chuckle still in inside my mind here doctor who dana likes doctor who women women really a lot of a lot of women i've known and again this is maybe growing up in portland love doctor who it is some real deal dorky shit yeah it's doctor who gives a fuck if you ask me like i truly don't give a shit

i've watched i've i got sucked into one season i got sucked into one season of it i forget which but i like watch it on a laptop, which I think is how you're supposed to watch it. On a flight? A flight from Dublin to London? And that's the only thing available for viewing? It's a very low budget kind of like... Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. You just have to meet it where it is, Doctor Who, I think. But people really love it. People might hate you for coming after Doctor Who. This is like your nurse's day. What, are they going to fucking nerd out on me with their calculators? Who gives a shit? Easy, Boxer. Easy.

Not everything's a hammer and a nail. Yeah. I like this. You flipped it around and you're the part of the question that's hard to get. Now I'm excited. Yeah, because everybody wants to see the movies I pick. They're badass. Of course they are.

Yeah, they're good as hell. Time for my first and second picks, as it is a serpentine draft. With my first one, I'm going to take a movie that I saw in theaters when I was a kid. And I've wanted to watch, like I was recently reminded of it.

Thinking like, oh man, I kind of like to see that again and then i thought about pitching it to dana and i didn't even get it up off the i didn't even propose it it didn't even make it past your screen where you're like the movie is the movie is 254 minutes long oh that's a deep it stars tom barringer and jeff daniel watch the program back to back back to back to back to back to back the movie is called gettysburg oh and it is a it is a movie about gettysburg the war the battle of the civil war it's it fucking rules but it is long it's about the civil war it doesn't even have any real eye candy in it

because it's tom berenger and jeff daniels and then like martin sheen you know what i mean uh hey that's a that's a 50 to 675 piece of can't that's a that's for a that oh hey if you went down to a vfw they'd be probably already be watching it. You wouldn't have to convince anyone. But the idea of proposing... So for Christmas, guys, we're just going to get Ian a book on World War II because he's moving into old man. The idea of getting Dana to watch... She likes history, too.

But a fucking... How many hours is that? Four? Sixty? One twenty? A four-hour movie about the civil war not even a documentary where you're like learning stuff it's like hard to get somebody to lock into some shit for that long but that's like a even a bad date you know what i mean it's not that you know that long yeah if she had watched that with you it would count as your birthday and christmas gift it really would yeah that's like like if she okay so she'll get home from work tonight at like 6 6 30 right and if i'm like okay here's the next four hours we're gonna we're gonna quietly watch gettysburg and

if you get your computer out it's gonna upset me because i really want you to watch it pay attention honey i've made a i've made a roast chicken with whipped potatoes and a butternut squash soup eat it at the coffee table perfect meal i have strawberries and cream and the other thing we'll be dining on tonight is gettysburg this movie has this movie has seven acts as opposed to the normal three so in the sixth act we're going to have a nice sorbet you need to pay attention through the whole film it's so long it's so fucking long you think you would still like it when was the last time you saw it like you think you'd still be oh god i think the last time i saw it i was maybe in my early 20s and you locked the whole you locked in for the whole thing oh okay here and there man i don't

even think i locked in for the whole thing uh but Martin Sheen plays Robert E. Lee in it you know I just something about that I just saw him as Robert E. Lee like a scene where like all these people are rushing him it was like the most emotion oh no it was a bunch of uh whatever

anyway I just saw that what'd you say? Isaac cut all that out what? no I was watching this YouTube thing on like whatever. Anyway, I just saw that. What'd you say? Isaac cut all that out. What? No? No, no, no, no. I was watching this YouTube thing on the 20 best Easter eggs in a film or something and those were all actual real life Civil War

reenactors, which didn't seem like an amazing Easter egg to me, but none of them were extras. They were all actual people that loved what they were doing, so they just hired them to be on the movie and they all rushed in when he was Robert E. Lee. Not that interesting. Sorry about that, boys. In the early 90s, you dress up as

Confederates. Gettysburg. My first pick. My second pick. I'm taking... This might have been easier, and I think she's seen it. And I think this would have been an easier sell when it came out. But now that it's not even really pop culture, like in the zeitgeist as much,

I'm taking 300. Oh, that was, that was going to be like my third. I used to have a joke about it. Remember the summer that that was everybody's favorite movie. Yes. Yes.

This is Sparta. Zack Snyder, dude? We love Zack Snyder. City is a close second. Ian and I went together, I'm pretty sure, and we were jacked. I was so excited. Yeah. We must have just met each other. That was 2006.

Yeah. Oh, no. I don't know. We couldn't have gone together. We probably watched it, though. There we go. We have seen it together. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sean brought over his copy and his movie poster. My T-shirt that had those abs on it was like, yeah, I like to wear this when I watch 300.

Gerard Butler. What a dip. What? Man. That career really didn't work out. That to a bunch of harder movies to sell he went from that one to harder movies to sell to your partner there's some fucking good ones in there but there's one that is also on my list that i won't say that is a real hard gerard butler sell

i got a pretty good idea yeah i bet you do i actually my first movie i saw with deirdre ironically enough was like white House Down with Gerard Butler in the middle of the day and we called him G-Butt the whole time. That's fun though. Yeah. God damn it. No wonder that shit didn't work out.

Yeah. 300 is... I said let's go see White House Down and she wanted to see Doctor Who. It's amazing it worked out for as long as it did yeah it did you guys were hot item did you guys like each other cause it doesn't oh we adored each other we were in love man the Battle of Thermopylae is very

interesting like there's some interesting content there that whole story about what the 300 what it is but that is a tough, tough sell. Killing dudes, dudes being dudes. You're just going to say the Battle of Thermopylae, like you're just dropping it in there that casually?

Well, that's what the whole movie is, but like when they bottleneck the hot gates, they bottleneck the whole rest of the world. They're like, nobody could beat them because it was like that bottleneck. It's like in prison, if somebody's trying to, if a bunch of guys are trying to attack you, just put your back against them. Like in the raid too, when he's

in the bathroom. God damn it! Oh, oh, oh, oh. You gotta fucking, you gotta fucking, you gotta watch it with the picks! They're dropping, like, my list is falling apart. Isaac, cut that out. That is a good one, though. I didn't even, god damn it. I didn't even think about it. But yes, the Battle of

Zeropoli. I feel like you can still say that when it comes up. Yeah, you can still say that. Yeah, we can have a full conversation about how hard it is to get someone to watch it. I'll stop this podcast and watch The Raid 2 right now. I'm watching it in the background. It's fucking great. I'm reading T-shirt

Swim Club in the background. Thank you. You have the audiobook playing in your house at all times 5,001 copies sold 5,001 baby our royalties went up from 10 to 12% on every book sold because we crossed the threshold yeah dude

300 young Michael Fassbender I don't know how young but like a new Michael Fassbender 300 is a good one young Lena Headey way before Game of Thrones in there Young Michael Fassbender. I don't know how young, but like a new Michael Fassbender. 300 is a good one. Yeah, that's a perfect. Young Lena Headey, way before Game of Thrones in there. The 300 are carved up, so they're hot as hell. So that might be like an easier where you're like, hey, at least you can see like a bunch of like crazy looking dudes. I feel like when I saw 300, I was like, I got to get better thighs because they're just like loincloths. Yeah. You know,

they just got jacked. They're all like, they should have been named the quad fathers. They were all juiced. That was actually the original name of the movie. The quad fathers. The quad fathers. I saw a guy

at the gym today with like insane quads where you walked by and I think I out loud was like, they were fucking nuts holy shit yeah it was like yeah and he's wearing like shorts that are too short for thigh like for a dude but yeah yeah now yeah those chubbies yeah it's weird sometimes now at the gym i will look at dudes and i'll be like just admiring their bot like their bot like as i've gotten more into fitness oh yeah yeah and i'm just like that's impressive like women too like i'm not even ogling i'm just like jesus it's crazy i'm just trying to think i'm like how do i get there bro yeah we our window

is closed no no no no no we could do a lot of HGH and get there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Next draft, HGH. What would we use? Should we go, as a podcast, go hard into HGH? I've been, look at the text messages. I've been dropping breadcrumbs for years. Just get fucking yoked, dude. Just no more necks. Aggro. Aggro.

Losing our temper on tour. Someone gives you a hug, you're like, get your fucking hands off me, bro. Stop saying that. Don't touch the merchandise. Shane rips his computer down. Shane, time for your second pick. Okay, this ties into my

first pick so the reason I did not the main reason I did not want to go see Doctor Who is because I wanted to see

the high intense drama film called Out of the Furnace with Christian Bale, Sam Shepard, and I think it's

Casey Affleck, Woody Harrelson. Out of the Furnace. It's like a poverty-borne kind of... I can't... It takes place in Braddock, Pennsylvania. Steelworker Russell Bays, Christian Bale, works a dead-end job

and holds tight to his sense of family, duty, and loyalty. This has Shane Doran written all over it. You'd be watching me walk away, baby. All right, date's canceled then. Rodney Bays, Casey Affleck, Russell's brother, returns home after serving in Iraq. And with his debts piling up, becomes entangled with a vicious crime lord, Woody Harrelson. Ooh. Oh, that. Soon afterward, Rodney disappears mysteriously. crime lord, Woody Harrelson. Ooh. Soon afterward,

Rodney disappears mysteriously. The police fail to solve the case, so Russell, feeling he has little left to lose, puts his life on his line to bring his brother home. She didn't want to see that. She hated it. We watched it. She was like, really hated it.

I love that. She didn't want to see it, so we went. There's some rough scenes in it, too. There are some really rough scenes in that movie. Still a good flick. Still a good flick. Still a good flick. Your girl Zoe Saldana's in it. Yeah. That's my girl. Zoe's in it. Willem Dafoe. Sam Shepard. It's got a good cast. Forrest Whitaker? Yeah, come on. Ghost Dog's in it. Bingo O'Reilly? It's shame.

Yeah. No, David. Oh, it's got your boy Boyd Holbrook in it. Boyd Holbrook? Who the fuck is that? My boy? Boyd Holbrook. Boyd Holbrook.

Yeah. I fucking that poor girl, man. I'm fucking. She must have really loved it. This movie's got a B-hole in it, man. Come on. What is the score on Rotten Tomatoes? Let me take a look here.

You know Void Holbrook if you saw him. This has a 53% on Rotten Tomatoes. Not so bad. Not so bad. She must have really loved me. She put up with a lot of bullshit. Some petty ass shit from me. Yeah. Yeah.

Out of the Furnace seems like produced by Leonardo DiCaprio and Ridley Scott. What's going on there? Yeah. There's some good stuff there. It just didn't land. He's getting all mad. Yeah, it just didn't land. Yeah, goddammit, I was right.

I'll give her a ring right now. I'll call her up. From the director of Crazy Heart. Yeah. Oh, this guy directed some other movies that I won't say. Crazy Heart with, who's that? Was that Jeff Daniels again?

With Gettysburg's Jeff Daniels. Oh, yeah, Jeff Bridges. That's right. Yeah, you might know him from Gettysburg. Among other things. From about a minute 174 of Gettysburg. Right about the halfway point actually yeah right about the time you want to get up and take your first peek

the movie had an intermission in theaters where they're like all right get up stretch your legs yeah yeah that's crazy yeah out of the furnace is my pick which is sean jordan uh again fairly specific to my partner but I feel like this is maybe a little more universal but Belly is a is a tough one any movie where a rapper is the lead is a tough sell I've found

it's not the easiest but I will say when Belly came out a lot of the girls me and my brothers were running around with when I was working at Blockbuster they wanted to see Belly came out a lot of the girls, me and my brothers were running around when I was working at Blockbuster they wanted to see Belly it's also pretty it's beautiful it is fantastic

I like everything about it it's just there's just not a world where we watch that and it is fully enjoyed I can't even imagine if I did talk her into letting me like, Hey, let's go over under.

If we're going over under how long is belly? Like probably two hours. You may be, maybe it's a little, it might be a little shorter hour, 50 hour, 40. Do you think Laura makes it to the 60 minute mark to be cool?

Yeah. But I don't think, I don't think the plot builds. It doesn't really start coming apart until the last 20-30 minutes. It's just like... I gotta re-watch Belly. When was the last time you saw Belly?

Dude, it's so good. This is a smooth 92 minutes. It's in and out. It's in and out, baby. I feel bad because it feels a little longer. It really loses me at the end and I love it. Every movie feels longer when you're watching it with someone who hates it.

Where you're just looking over like, damn it. Where you're like, alright, Method Man's coming in. She's gonna love that. She's gonna love that! She didn't like the Method Man part. This is when the chick that looks like Aeon Fluff shows up? Wait, she didn't start bobbing her head when the beat dropped in the intro. Damn it.

What's the longest amount of time on AFE you think you've gone? The amount of episodes between mentioning Belly? Me or David? I think David probably mentions it more than I do no I don't know I think it's you I think everyone in the world thinks it's you Sean every 20 probably I don't know

I think it's less than that I think we're at I think it's maybe seven is the most episodes you've gone without mentioning belly well I'm talking about like my belly hurts that kind of stuff I get it yeah yeah yeah shut the fuck up. What was the one you came up? What was the one on the road? Oh.

Oh, the plummy tummy. Because I had the scoots. My plummy tummy hurt. I got to do it. So my mom the other day, for all y'all that don't know, she says tummy truffles. And I'm like, mom mom that's the grossest way and then i go why don't you say your stomach's upset and she goes that sounds disgusting to me i was like you think tummy truffles sounds less disgusting than your upset stomach blows my mind that's pretty fucking gross yeah yeah i mean like diarrhea it's sorry yeah as we're talking about diarrhea belly is so good you're talking about diarrhea

belly is so good you're talking about diarrhea no one else we're all talking about diarrhea I mean like five minutes into the movie they go to it is very pretty they go to DMX's house and they're just all like it's just it's just not

for my specific partner and then they cut to that scene when DMX is just smashing. Again, I think it's like, I can't imagine Laura being like, oh yeah, well at least DMX is getting it real quick. Yeah, or if you're watching it and Laura's like, Keisha was a bad bitch. But that's the girl from A Bronx Tale, Keisha is. The younger, the little girl. You've really got to be careful about saying that in the girl from a bronx tale keisha is that yeah the younger the the little girl you've really gotta be careful about that was on the movies you're seeing a lot of movies you are i apologize i apologize you're right really a really good one i god damn it i think most of

the movies you watch are these this is where this is the draft that is so ingrained into me where i'm like well these are just movies. These are how I talk. Everybody likes these. I can't start. I can't start speaking a different language. Yeah. Anyway,

belly tough, tough, tough one. Tough watch. David, time for your second and third picks. My second pick is a move. I've tried many times.

Here's the thing. I didn't... I love this. Your boy didn't have a DVD player of his own for a while. So obviously because of that, didn't own a lot of his own personal DVDs to pick from if a woman came over.

Where am I going to go to a Redbox? You have to have a debit card that's crazy i'm the fucking monopoly man all of a sudden so i had this one dvd that a friend got for me as a joke one year for my birthday and i tried to push i've probably tried this with six to eight girls. Shaft goes to Africa. It just... Shaftrica? They don't want to watch? It's just not...

There's just not enough meat on the bone. I bet Shaft's got plenty of meat on the bone. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't see it, but... This is a while ago, Shaft. Not Sam Jackson Shaft, right? No meat on the bone. Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't see it, but. This is a while ago, Shaft. Not Sam Jackson Shaft, right? No, this is from the 70s series. Yeah.

Richard Roundtree. Also great in that new movie. What is it? Gloria or whatever I just saw the other day. He's amazing, man. Yeah. Richard Roundtree is really talented. What is Shaft Goes to Africa about?

Yeah. If you get the chance, there's an interview with him. I think it was like an NPR thing because he had breast cancer. Really? Yeah. And he talked about being such a masculine icon and having what's known as like what's seen as like a woman's problem and disease. Wow. Yeah.

Those are those same women that you mentioned that really can't throw baseballs all that well. Is that what you said earlier? Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah. I equ women that you mentioned that really can't throw baseballs all that well. Is that what you said earlier? Yeah, that's what I said. I equate that to the same thing. There's a human being in here somewhere. I listen to interviews with Richard Roundtree and I try and get women to walk out of

the furnace. Under all those jabs and uppercuts, there's a human being in there. Other than what is obvious in the title, what is Shaft Goes to Africa about? Well, goes to Africa, gets in a couple of stick fights, gets in some gun fights,

has sex with like five, six ladies. Yeah, my man. It's a bum. It's just not. It just was, but it came from, I just didn't have any, you got to put something on.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Even in those days of like, you're coming over, we're going to hook up. You still got to put on something. Because it would be. This is pre the phrase Netflix and chill. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. But as a gentleman, you need to at least create the artifice of like. Yeah. Yes. And it was also. Richard Routhree got an artifice. of like yes and it was also

Richard Rafferty got an artifice it was also a time where I started learning like oh I'm not prepared for a relationship

I remember one girl I had her come over to try to watch Shaft in Africa and she I was like do you want a drink she's like yeah

what you get her I got some Jim Beam in the freezer she's like uh no you get her i got some jim beam in the freezer she's like uh no you started a denver broncos mug all the glasses are dirty and they're like too dirty to clean they have like mold they need to be soaked but we can drink it out of the bottle but uh yeah shaft Shaft goes to Africa. It never worked. Nor should it have.

I love it. Nor should it have. Shaftrica. It's like... Anybody else want to give the Shaft to Africa portmanteau a try? I already did it, Shane.

Shaftrica? I mean, I don't... it's crazy that you got that as a as a gag and then you were like maybe this is an aphrodisiac well i i think that i was over my skis a lot in that she's already coming over that's already a dearth i don't have legal id she's coming to my house she's probably down you know what i mean it's kind of all you got it's any it's in any port in the storm situation you're like shit i gotta throw something on that's exactly it that's exactly jesus christ i can't believe this uh this going to david's point about having someone come over the same woman i've been taught who's been a thread through this poor first time the first time she stayed the night at our apartment

ian oh yeah yeah she was like do you want to like because she lived close by she lived in the neighborhood and i was like she was like you want to hang out and i was like yeah so you came over so i was like bring a movie watch a movie she brought like i can get comedy series i'd never heard of and i was like this fucking i would or something like that and of. I was like, this fucking... Or something like that. And I remember I was like, no, we're not watching that. We're watching The Fugitive. Ha! I know, right? That's a good movie.

Dana and I watched it today. I also remember I had a TV-DVD player combo. Oh, classy. Yeah. And the tray would pop. I can't believe it man so fucking tragic what sketch series you got a girl's gone wild in there like maybe it wasn't a sketch series but it was like some kind of comedy shit probably a british one i bet it was like peep show or

something like that yeah yeah or like uh yeah or like what's that little big britain or whatever it's called uh yeah yeah i think it was something like that it was weirding me out Little Britain David your third pick this one is for my partner currently not huge on the sci-fi even less on cop shit I'm taking Time Cop oh yeah

there's just no it just would not penetrate you ever need me to step in and take your place for a movie watch and I'll tell you who want to watch Time Cop with you. Your boy. Yeah. Don't mind. That's the opposite of this draft show. Don't mind it.

One thing. I might as well have picked movies I want to watch with Sean. It's the same list. It's the same list. It's the same. It's the same exact wings. I guess I'll get some wings and watch Dark Knight after this. It's got my girl Mia Sarah in it. It sure does.

I mean, it's just, it's old. It's cheesy. Who's Mia Sarah? I'm gonna look this up. Sloan from Ferris Bueller. Oh, God, yes. Jesus Christ, Shane. Daddy like. When he does the splits on the counter because the floor is getting wet.

Yeah. And the thing about Time Cop, good premise. I don't mind the premise. By the way, they shoved those splits into so many Van Damme movies the way Zooey Deschanel shoves singing into a TV series.

That's what I was paying to see, buddy. You don't want him to not do the splits, though. I'd be upset if I saw a Van Damme movie. I'm just saying, do you remember, well, I don't want to say a pick, but I'll do it out. I don't think anyone's going to say this one, but it's another Van Damme movie.

Somebody might. Somebody's dad made him bring him two Van Damme DVDs to the hospital one time, so it might come up again. I need to mend up. Maybe this is a weird thing to say on, Mike. I want to see Jean-Claude Van Damme do the splits naked,

because I want to see what happens to his junk. I know exactly what you mean. You know what I mean? From a physiological... We're all curious about that. You have a really good friend that you know who could do the splits for quite some time who could probably tell you what happens to your dick

when you're doing the splits. Over a kitchen counter, though? It doesn't get touched. I used to do them on chairs. Can't I? I used to do them on chairs because he did. So I could have done it on counters if there was one that in between. Oh yeah,

dude. I, for days. What happens? Does your like ball sack get stretched? No, it just hangs there. It just hangs like a speed bag.

It all just hangs down like a, like a speed bag. That's really funny. Did you ever do it naked? So you can see what you look like doing it? No, no, but I did it a whole bunch.

I was too young to do it, to really care yet. I haven't been able to do the splits since I was like 11. But it doesn't stretch out the whole area. It's just like your thighs, your hammies. You know what I mean? What's it do to your b-hole?

Yeah, what's happening with your b-hole? That's probably pretty open. With your Boyd Holbrook. What's happening with your Boyd Holbrook when you're doing the splits, man? Man, my Boyd Holbrook really hurts. I don't think it stretches too far. I mean, you can pull your butt cheeks apart

pretty hard without being able to do the splits, and that's fine. I'm serious. All of you can stand up and pull your butt cheeks apart right now if you wanted to. I don't know I tried to hold it in I tried I tried so hard I'm making listening to this episode

my third pick I'm not special you know everyone can do the splits with their butt cheeks It's just your hammies that you need to worry about Anyone can do butt cheeks, Brett Oh boy, that's funny Okay You fucking asshole And by the way

You haven't been able to do the split since you were 11. You've been saying it like you were able to do them up to five years ago. I did them when I was 15. Famously. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was the one. That was like when I was losing them. Sean, time for your third pick.

Here's a tough sell. This used to be one of my go-tos as just like a 20-year-old who was buying DVDs, but 40 Days and 40 Nights. Do you remember that movie? Really? Where Josh Hartnett can't have sex for 40 days, right?

Let's say there's a movie where a guy can't have sex or jack off for 40 days and 40 nights and all he sees are the hottest women on the planet. It's horrible. And also, not that hard to do. I assume that movie was for women.

That's what I thought too. It's Shannon Sossaman, right? Yeah, Shannon Sossaman and Josh Hartnett. No, I don't think it's for women at all. I saw that movie on a date. I never saw it. I don't think so. I know there's not...

It's a cute movie, but it's dumb. This is easily the hardest watch out of the three that I've picked. I've never even brought it up to her because I don't really care to see it. This is the hardest watch out of the three that you've picked? I would imagine. I mean, it's just so crazy because he... It's just about a guy that can't jack off for 40 days. It's just a...

Weird. I mean, that's really what it is. And that's such a ridiculously hard sell for me. I think. This is a rom-com. It's definitely not one that would fall under the let's both have fun watching this. I really don't think. It's a rom-com for boys, you think?

I do. Oh, no. Wait a minute. I've never even thought about this. You're saying they don't make rom-coms for boys? Because this is all, I mean Because all this is is hot girls in this movie. It's all hot girls. At a point, there's one. He just walks out and he sees

like a hundred naked women walking down the street. He's like, going through this I haven't beat off in three weeks psychosis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. It would be pretty hard to not beat off for 40 days. I can't do it. It wouldn't be this. I mean, I know't, it was pretty hard to not beat off for 40 days. I can't do it.

It wouldn't be this. I mean, I know they got to create, you got to create attention. I guarantee you can't do it. Can I have sex? No. That would be rude.

Otherwise I'd bet you so much money. I could do it easily. I got that low T baby. It ain't, it ain't an issue with your boy. I, yeah, I don't.

All right. Honor system. i can do it since i'm the only one not in a relationship right now sure how long do you think i'll last over under if you're not you can't stroke down 40 days no i think i think it just ended i couldn't do it i couldn't do it guys i already well i was just i was just ramping up a big fucking i was gonna fuck you man I was about to be like I think when there's droids even made in your personal line

I really think you're in a I'm in space and I'm going to jump around for 40 days I really believe you and he's doing a jack off joke yeah that's why I think that's why I think this is hard because this whole movie is a

beat off joke I think it was supposed to be a sexy fun date movie and punk that's why i think this is hard because this whole movie is a is a is a beat-off joke it's just such a i think it was supposed to be a sexy fun date movie when they used to do that like it's like uh like uh the the the uh like shackles to africa or that glenn powell's in this weenie movie that just came out i think it was supposed to be along those same lines right maybe but the premise is just a raunchy rom-com a raunch com but this is just such a raunchity such a weird premise he just gives it up for lent i guess that's like the that's the self but i don't it just doesn't oh yeah his brother's a priest in his brother's a priest then his brother ends up his brother ends up like uh having to take a sabbatical because he can't handle it it's a two hour jack off joke I've never seen it

I believe you should watch it you wouldn't mind it it's got that dude from I don't know about these I can't say other movies because they're all so dangerously close to being in this wheelhouse I'll tell you later

give it a watch alone this episode of all to being in this wheelhouse. I'll tell you later. Give it a watch alone. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35,

our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done.

You know, there's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days and you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this, but Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small.

I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code all fantasy. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now,

with this week, we want to touch a little bit on self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. Some stuff like youotiable. I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there, it's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous. And I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be.

But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time. Get it like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time.

You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to someone, get a new set of ears on it, and they will just guide you through the path. Therapy helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get better help a try. Give it a shot. It helps for learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries, all these things that are extremely important. It's all online. It's convenient, flexible. They suit to your schedule. Go on and fill out a brief questionnaire. You get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for zero additional charge. They got your back. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash all fantasy today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's

betterhelp.com slash all fantasy today to get 10 off your first month again that's better help help.com slash all fantasy uh shane time for your third movie third movie okay well all right all right okay fine so whatever are you gonna say like an actual porn yeah are you serious again this is me not all right so i i hooked up with this i was in i was on the road and this girl had been like dming me here and there right and we'd been flirting and she came out to show and we were hooking up and uh now i'm thinking about the act like the process you're most led people like we hooked up but you

just said we're hooking up i didn't say we're hooking up i wasn't like we're hooking whatever she goes back to the hotel we're full round um basically i don't know how to say it other than just this it's gonna be crude but um she basically just turned my face into a saddle and uh i get it yeah yeah adult sex i understand what you're doing this time we go back and forth do the whole thing? Why does this have to do with the movie? I feel like you're the little mermaid. This is where I am not proud

of this, but it was like a weird, the whole thing was weird. We felt like we shouldn't have been doing it the whole time. We knew it wasn't going to end well, right? Not the sex, like the whole courtship. I regret telling this already, but I just wanted to

be truthful with you. Isaac, put all this in Shane's Eats a Sandwich episode one along with that first line. But whatever. I finish and I assume I had done my job at a risk. And I went to go clean up and like wash my face right

I don't know why this is so funny is this going to come around to a movie I was in the shower and she comes in while I'm in the shower and she goes hey I go what's up and she goes do you want to come watch porn with me

I was like I thought she'd finished but she had and i that's my fault whatever but she was like and i was just in the shower like washing like yeah you know everything washing washing shane and she was like will you come watch porn with me and i go uh no like and she just she went the life of a stand-up comedian I would have been happy to do whatever but I thought she'd gotten to the place and that's my fault whatever

maybe she wanted more but like it's not a proud moment so whatever porno that girl was watching who definitely hates me. Shane didn't handle it porn. Yeah.

Did she show you the porn that was playing or was this a Schrodinger's porn? You never got to see it? I never got to see it, but I um Oh, man. You really drug yourself down Main Street with that one.

Yeah, man. I'm being candid. I felt bad about that one. You tried. It's not like you said no. She was an emotionally manipulative person. There's also that Sounds pretty cool to me Was that your last encounter?

Or did you continue? La danse la femme No we had another encounter You saw her at the grocery store? There's that fucking guy over there I was at a red box running time cop you just got eight boxes of popsicles

I'm just trying to that was not a good moment for me but that's another one that was like me not I was like I just like it was so the tone shift was bananas that is wild yeah yeah I love it but well that's the thing is when a man

is done, traditionally it's the, as they call it, the PNC, right? The post-nut clarity kind of thing where you're like as soon as you're done, you're like pretty done. Where you're like, ugh, get me away from that. Where's Chef Coast Africa? Yeah, where's Chef Coast Africa? I want to

shower. I'm going to get some trail mix. I'm going to move on to the next phase of my evening it was a bit of poor timing on her end considering because it was like here's the thing it was like a while later you know like that was like what was straight

so I don't know she shouldn't have let the miracle get out of bed you know once you let the miracle get out of bed yeah uh alright time for my third miracle get out of bed you know once you let the miracle get out of bed yeah fucking uh all right time for my third and fourth i can't believe i just shared that actually i love i love that you did i'm not going we mentioned it earlier i'm not going that deep you're not going that deep you fucking prick that's what she said that means you got stuff like that though of course yeah i'm outside i'm taking a you guys would trust here this is bananas we trust you we're with you i'd believe

everything you just said i trust you for sure i have certain circumstances in my life that would preclude me from trying to uh mention that kind of thing on air one of which being that sometimes my mom listens to this. My mom doesn't know what a podcast is. I just thought about your mom listening to this. She will hear that, bud. I don't hold back, nor do I steer

into certain things. I will say that's the nice thing about having two deceased parents. When someone says they're disappointed in you, it just doesn't hurt as bad. It doesn't hit the same until. No, who could be? It doesn't hit the same until you probably have a kid or something.

Maybe a partner too, yeah. A partner would get there sometimes. My partner would be disappointed in me if I said a movie we mentioned earlier, but I think deserves a full-blown discussion. Let's watch the movie Boondock Saints. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

When this idea popped up, this was the first place my brain went. Immediately, where I'm like, oh. That's a movie for 8th grade boys. It's for 8th grade boys. Or St. Thoris being like, working at Blockbuster, having it come out and being like, guys, I got the

sickest fucking movie you have ever heard of. That's how it was pitched to me of that's how it was pitched to me that's how it was pitched to me in the 8th grade it was my friend's neighbor across the street and he was like 5 years older than us he was like you guys want to see some cool shit you probably never even heard of it yeah it was

let me put you up on this this was too real for the theaters yeah this was like the biggest dorm core movie of all time. I was riveted the first time I saw that. I was like, no, they did not. I fucking loved it. I went and bought the DVD. I've seen

this movie 20 times at least. Probably 50. Oh, dude. If you think I'm not throwing it on casually while I do laundry tonight and wait for the final scene. Yeah. Oh, God. Who's the older throwing it on casually while I do laundry tonight and wait for the final scene? Oh, God. Who's the older guy?

Billy Connolly. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, Will Defoe is in it too, though. He's the crazy... Bob Marley. The comedian Bob Marley is in it. Oh, yeah. Fucking, there was a firefight! There was. Sean

Patrick Flannery. Yeah, the cop is just busting in the air. Don't they shoot, too? Don't they put both guns out in circles? I'm teaming with Shoals. They had a prayer. I remember kids at school being like, that prayer. Oh, you mean the prayer, and shepherds

will be for thee, my lord, for thee? Yeah. Wow. And these two guys were crushed to death by some huge friggin' guy. Some huge friggin' guy. Maybe it's a good movie. Maybe it's a good movie.

Maybe it is good, actually. Man, there's parts coming back to me now. I't seen it in a while we're not picking bad movies to watch with your partner we're just picking we're just picking movies that are hard to watch with your partner you guys want a good watch watch the documentary about the guy who made that movie troy duffy oh it's insane he well he was just a darling for like two minutes and then fucking ruined it it was like it was like the hottest script in town for a minute so everybody was courting him he's hanging out with mark walberg and harvey weinstein at the times trying to get the mood just like it's like all this shit and then he just fucking blew it it's like a legendary bag. A real, a real case of Hollywood head.

Dude, I don't think he maybe understood who he was in business with. Touching by the tone of some of the comments that he made. He's just a fucking dumbass. Guys, I'm not going to lie to you right now. I'm seeing where boondock saints is streaming. Yeah.

Let us know. I bet it's on like to be it's, I don't think it's on the lie to you right now. I'm seeing where Boondock Saints is streaming. Yeah. Let us know. I bet it's on like Tubi. I don't think it's on the big hitters right now. But it's got your boy, Sean Patrick Flannery, but then also your boy Norman Reedus, dude. Oh, it's available on Peacock, Pluto, and Prime. All the P services. Yeah.

Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery. I'll be pushing P tonight. They're my boys. There's a Sean Patrick in this movie. Sold immediately. Oh, yeah. Norman Reedus, man. Sustained sustained career kind of playing the same guy like daryl dixon bike riders yeah yeah i loved it i didn't like it i enjoyed it too david was david was the no thought it was pretty as hell really pretty movie beautiful movie you know it's based on

like a book of photography yeah you can kind of tell like yeah you can feel that for sure my friend's brother directed it oh that's right yeah tell him fucking kick rocks you didn't like i liked it i got i thought i thought it was building to something else but it's really kind of about just like that transferring moment of like just kind of a thing you don't realize you're in sort of to me is what that film was like but I'm gonna make my fourth pick this is a movie I put on once when Dana said I don't

care throw on whatever that's like what do you want to watch what do you feel like watching oh I don't care I'm gonna be on my computer okay but then do you ever have to feel like you have to filter even that? Where she's like, whatever you want to watch. It's like, yeah, but you don't want to watch like a 20 minute YouTube about 50 cents most

savage interview moments. No. And I was, I was. I want your search history on YouTube. No, you don't. No, you don't. He got so worried one time when we were there. I always try to, I always try to sell.

I'm like, you know, I'll try to pick something that I'm like, I think she'll be okay with this. So I'm pitching this movie. I'm like, hey, it's got, you know, it's got Oscar Isaac in it. It's got Pedro Pascal. Oscar Thysic. Oscar Thysic. Just got some hot boys, some good actors. Ben Affleck's in it. You know, I's got Oscar Isaac in it. It's got Pedro Pascal. Oscar Flasick. Oscar Thysick. Just got some hot boys, some good actors. Ben Affleck's in it.

You know, I've heard good things. I've heard good things about the movie. Are you about to pick that fucking... Triple Frontier. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. It's that Netflix movie. Fucking... It's a Netflix...

Netflix made it. It fucking rules, by the way. It rules, but but Charlie Hunnam's in it right Charlie Hunnam's in it oh all the usual suspects and she went she didn't stop me from watching she's like I'm just gonna go work in the other room

I've got kind of a headache it is it's about a bunch of there's scorned soldiers right who didn't get their like pension or something yeah it looks like the five bloods for white dudes it is the five bloods for white dudes they got fucked out

of their like they weren't making enough money they were all working behind their it's triple frontier not five bloods five bloods is just better in capacity yeah it fucking rules It's triple frontier, not five bloods. Five bloods is just better in capacity. It fucking rules. I love this movie. I love.

Well, here's the thing is I love when a team gets together. We just had this just today. I made a joke and I was like, team break. And she was like, I'm not one of your little football friends. And I was like, I think you need some more team sports in your life. Yeah, absolutely. You got to have some team sports in your life. We should make kids play them, even if they're not any good.

I mean, I think that happens a lot. Yeah. Not forever, but that bonding. Or something. You need to be in, like, debate on a team level. You need to learn, like, some sort of, you need to learn like some sort of like web of accountability in general yeah yeah triple frontier

it's a good watch huh it looks you haven't seen it Shane Torres you will love this is a fucking triple frontier your your what's the word Charlie Hunnam your fucking Hollywood archetype

you were probably on the call sheet for this movie. You like it so much. You're a doppelganger. It's a good cast. I pulled it up on IMDB and it's just like the base trailer playing next to it. Yeah, I watched the shit out of it. There's helicopters. There's gunplay.

There's helicopters. There's helicopters. Dana, there's helicopters. You want to know what this movie has I'm trying to make you watch it now Shane seriously you know what this movie has one last job dude I have a headache I'm just going to go work one last job

one last job dude oh man that will get me because I know somebody who's important to someone is going to die in the film. Not everybody's making it out on one last job. Maybe not. Maybe not. Sometimes the last job is just that.

Triple frontier. Nice. More like triple frontier when you're watching it. That's right. Did I mention the helicopters? Or frontier, but you're crying. Multiple. Multiple kinds of helicopters.

It's got those Chinooks in there. Got the big double-weighted Chinooks. Yeah, yeah, yeah're crying. Multiple. Multiple kinds of helicopters. It's got the Chinooks in there. Got the big double, the double-bladed Chinooks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Carrying a tinier helicopter and a big helicopter, bro. It's got people who are great at what they do. You know, specialists. They have conviction.

Specialists executing. Is Chinook native? Oh, yeah. Pacific Northwest. Sure is. There's a Chinook tribe. So there's a chinook helicopter yes after that yes yeah there's no there's an apache helicopter there sure is that's right is there

a black hop helicopter yes there is oh interesting there's a native i'm sure a bunch of people who are like those those words sound cool let's let's name the weapon is a bummer i'm'm not worried about that. Yeah, I don't want to look it up. And they address it. They do a land acknowledgement in Triple Frontier. So before they get on the Chinook helicopter. Okay.

I might look that up later because I'm sure it'll be sad. You should fucking for sure watch it. You would love this movie. Okay. I'm on it. The time for it is your third pick in your tale of woe movies that have disappointed you shane yes time for my pick it's time for my third or fourth fourth fourth pick okay all right um i watched this on a flight like a week ago and i think it's one of those movies i

just heard a lot about when i was a kid so i was like it's supposed to be like a week ago and i think it's one of those movies i just heard a lot about when i was a kid so i was like it's supposed to be like a good movie yeah i watched fatal attraction on a flight what were you on twa or northwest airlines that movie is fucking nuts yeah dude and dude. I just was like, everyone in it is. There's like one good person. And like, it's this imaginary life in New York that Michael Douglas had. You know, like, it's Glenn Close is awesome in it. First of all, she's amazing.

But, you know, it's about this guy who has an affair. And then do you guys know this film oh yeah and then she's just seen yes I know Fatal Attraction I mix it up though with like Sliver and Basic Instinct you guys get it that's Basic Instinct you're thinking of David yeah that's Basic Instinct

oh and Sliver's the other one was Sharon Stone and one of the bald ones I think Basic Instinct is Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone, right? Yeah, and Fatal Attraction is Michael Douglas and Glenn Close. Yeah, but Michael Douglas was just like... They were so incestuous in those boob movies back in the day.

That's what Douglas was doing, dude. Douglas was just doing taut, sexy thrillers. Boob movies. He thought it was a documentary. But there's this scene and it's just like the sex scenes with Glenn Close are so fucking intense. And I can't believe it's like on a flight.

I can't believe you watched it on a flight either. Dude, well, here's the thing. I'm not a weirdo, right? You're just holding your hands over the screen. 100% exactly what I did. I was too invested in the story to skip anything. Yeah, I get it Of course I'm not watching Fatal Attraction

Keep looking at your own screen I'm sorry Did you say can I have granola and almonds Okay thanks Look at that chocolate quinoa thing Don't worry about what Michael Douglas is doing That chocolate quinoa thing is good They are

That happens I watched that movie and I was just like This was like a movie that was seen as like is good they are yeah anyway that's quinoa for those of y'all that don't know that happens i watched that movie and i was just like this was like a movie that was seen as like a kind of um like a good movie that was like a like worse like an oscar pitch kind of movie you know like i think when we came out i remember it as being a punch line. Sure. Got a fatal attraction. Yeah, yeah. It's basically misery, but James Caan can walk. Yeah, it's like a... Yeah, yeah.

He could do some other shit, too. I was like, who would watch this with someone else? Or who would watch this with 149 other strangers on a flight? Didn't you watch it with everyone else on the plane? That's like farting. When you're on the plane, they're doing everything you're doing. Dude, all the shit in it is insane.

It's like a rough movie, but the sex scenes are like bananas. Like, and you're like, this, like, I was like watching, like, also. What's bananas about it? That all the girls finish? Is that what's bananas to you? Get it.

Scenes are pretty hot. and i couldn't believe it i'm honest to say and i wasn't fucking a freak about everything but it was just i couldn't believe first of all never seen glenn close as a sexual being in my life uh personal issue yeah yeah yeah but but then in this film i was like like, yeah, for sure. On an airplane. You gotta say it after every... Closer, if you don't mind. Didn't these used to... I mean, this is what adults used to go see together, right? This is like...

Yeah, but to me, it was like, I would have watched that with someone. Wouldn't you? No, but I also meet women the way Michael Douglas met this woman. Like, oh, we're gonna have fun for a night, and then... You wanna hear some crazy shit? If I held up belly andy and Fatal Attraction Laura would be like what I love Fatal Attraction let's watch that I could almost I could like hear it

that's not crazy it's crazy to me that people would watch that movie together it's a taut sexy thriller starring Michael Douglas I might pitch it tonight it's also a lot of scary shit she throws that bunny in the pot. You ever think about that? You're just like, wait, I'm sleeping next to somebody

who was a stranger and I just sleep next to him every night. Like any one of these nights, she could just kill me. Yeah, dude. I worry about that shit all the time. That's why you're trying to go see this Usher show first. Yeah, when a couple of girls have told me they love me, I get more scared.

Well, it's because you threw up right away when they said it. I love you. Sorry. One time I got told I love you and I pretended to be asleep. I know. I remember the whole joke. Pretended to be asleep? Yeah.

You sure did. I was a young man 38 i'm not ready to grow up i said you're trying to lock me down taxes my dad pays taxes for me the second someone tells you they love you you like, I must have something special going on right now. I need to see what I can get on the open market for it. Oh, that's not it. Okay. Fatal Attraction. Sean, time for your fourth pick.

Well, kind of on the heels of that, I got to say Wild Things. Yeah. It's interesting. I still don't know what that movie is for you. It's very specific. You see Bacon's dong in it. What do you it it's it's interesting i still don't know what that movie is very specific but like bacon's dong in it what do you mean you don't want to watch it because like it's got plenty for the ladies it's like a crime drama you know but it's just there's so much of that stuff that you're like i can't expect anyone to get past this like she's in high school what denise richards is properly in school, which is bananas because there's a Fredo in there. And you're like, she was at a high school car wash

20 minutes ago in the movie. So it's just such a crazy sell. But if you take all that out of there, it's a fun thriller, but a lot of that in there. So I don't think Lorde be jumping. The cover alone is like, eh. It's interesting a lot of these movies wild things and fatal attraction these were just what movies they made for men and women to go see each other on like you know who were like 28 yeah it's like that tennis movie and there's you know on the same vein it's like what was your first date mom

your dad took me to see Wild Things. We went Dutch at Wild Things. I knew I wanted to do street shoots. Yeah. Wild Things. I remember that was like, I think we probably brought it up, but that was the first one where you're like, I can rent that? You'll let me walk out of here with that?

Out of this video store, I can take that home. And it's not, you didn't have to go behind the beads, you know? This is where all the other movies are. This is where Working Girl is in the same like, yeah, alright. Sure. Two Lady Smoochin.

The thing that two, the grip that two Lady Smoochin had on us. Our generation was hooked. I mean, yeah. Porn was still so slow going and matt dylan just has this way he can he goes like yeah he does it grosser than anyone can possibly do it he he's like good at it because he does it in something about mary a lot but it's hilarious he's just like yeah he wild things he's got a few yucky ones and it's just it's a tough got a few yucky ones. And it's just, it's a tough sell.

A few yucky ones. I feel like it's a tough sell to my lovely, lovely wife. I know exactly what you're talking about. 60. Yeah, he goes, never let the sun go down in our argument. Oh, Matty Boom Boom. Stop, bud.

Matty Boom Boom. Yeah, Wild Things. Tough sell. argument oh maddie boom boom stop bud maddie yeah wild things uh wild things david time for your fourth and then your final picks uh fourth pick i tried this a few weeks ago i got halfway through and just gave up uh bronson oh yeah he's like no he's like a famous prisoner no but he gets all naked and he fights the guard he greases up so there's a riot and then you're just like what am I even watching I think really what we're learning about this

draft is like it's really movies for guys like us that you shouldn't try to watch yeah I think that's more kind of you start thinking though you start talking yourself into it you're like tom hardy's hot yeah wouldn't you like to see tom hardy shirtless i think prison movies in general are a tough sell at least for my right now yeah she's

not because they're always dark there's not like a real happy prison movie they're all real so like the ones that are yeah aren't a tough sell are like Oscar winners you know and all the other ones are like yeah it's just yeah well there's one prison movie it's still a bummer it just has a nice ending yeah that's true yeah

yeah I can uh I'll go with you on that though it's just not a good yeah it's just kinda it just doesn Yeah, it's just kind of... It just doesn't sound like something you would want to watch for recreation. And Tom Hardy's, like, really unhinged in it. Yeah, he's scary as shit. You know, like, he's really good in it, but it's, like, one of those things where you're just like,

this guy is... I've seen that person before, and that's a fucking nutter butter. Yeah. Yeah. He's a bare-knuckle boxer in it, though, right? Yeah. I mean, that was a boxer in it though, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a real guy.

Is he dead? That guy might be dead. I think so. Didn't he like cover himself in shit? Yeah. Yeah. He covers himself in grease and then they come into it. So they can't get him.

He lives. Oh no. Oh man. He's probably listening. What's it look like? Let's see what old Chucky Bronson looks like. He's listening and glistening right now. He is.

Charles Arthur Salvador. Wow. Can I change my last name to Salvador if I feel like it? I think so. Shane says no. Sean Patrick Salvador. Come on. Is this guy on the streets?

Is this guy on the streets? Is this guy on the streets? Can you try to find him? He's out there. Has he been paroled? I think he's incarcerated still. I know you guys aren't going to believe this, but he's been married three times. Yeah. Bought and sold.

I believe that. Wow. He remains incarcerated. He has two kids. Yep. David, your final pick uh my final pick is one she fell asleep so i did get it on it's like a nostalgia pick and she just doesn't care you know what i mean and it's hard to wrap someone up in your nostalgia especially for our generation i

think it's like there was such a hard line between girl movies and boy movies. I'm digging surf ninjas. Just couldn't give a shit. Oh, man. No, but the Game Gear, the Game Gear saying what's happening in life and their grandpa taught them the ways they're serving the ninja. Man, we used to watch that at the Taekwondo sleepover. Or no, I'm thinking of three ninjas. Oh, Tomum Tum? Yeah.

Tum and Rocky and Colt. Yeah, Rocky loves Emily. Yeah, yeah. Three Ninjas. Surf Ninjas was like roughly the same, right? Doesn't have the Leslie Nielsen's in it from Naked Gun? That's tight. That's in Three Ninjas, I think.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's Surf Ninjas. Oh, is it? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's Surf Ninjas. Oh, is it? Is it? Yeah. And they sing the song Barbara Ann. Yeah.

Ba, ba, ba. Yeah. Let me take my hand. Ernie Reyes Jr. And also in another, I don't want to say picks, but he was in another pick on my list. Ernie Reyes Jr. and Sr. in it, as well as available now on the Fox Nation News app stand-up comedian special Rob Schneider.

Oh, Rob Schneider! Soy Sauce Holocaust? Rob Schneider? Soy Sauce Holocaust? Is that the name of that special? That's one of them. I like that. Can't lie. I think it's hilarious he rhymed those together for that. It's funny.

It's funny. Can't lie. I think it's hilarious. He rhymed those together for that. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Surf Ninjas. Sean, your final pick. So, I'm torn. Because this is not a tough sell to a lot of people. I have two, and they're polar opposites. One of them is probably only a tough sell in my situation.

And it's like, Pat, I love it so much. The other one is probably only a tough self in my situation. And it's like, Pat, I love it so much. The other one is just a tough sell because it's another crazy movie for dudes. But I don't like it. I'll say in the notebook. In my situation, that has... It's interesting

because I'm crying almost the whole way through and she's just harder than I am and just doesn't have the desire to like watch that sappy stuff. So for me, this is like the only one that's gone with like mad specific, but like it's a tough sell for me,

which is unfortunate because I love that movie and I watch it. You do love it. One out of every three flights. It's another one of your infinity stones. One of every three flights I'm on. I was so upset they didn't have it last night when I was flying hold on you're gonna give me shit for watching fatal attraction and you watch the notebook once every three flights if sometimes more he tries to watch

it every flight yeah there's there's like four movies that they're always on flights and i watch chunks of them but the notebook a lot of ass damn that was that was right out of middle school right there this one uh traditionally I think an easier sell traditionally an easier sell but not for a partner

not in this house not in this one god david that's funny that's so funny I know I bring it up if you'd like to hear Sean's thoughts on the notebook

they're laid out extensively throughout the all fantasy everything catalog boy if you if you haven't seen the notebook I don't know what's wrong with you get it together it's fine

it's perfect alright it is James Marsden forget about it you want to talk about James Marsden? Forget about it. You want to talk about James Marsden?

You're so deep in the game that you're like, no, it's not really about the, it's not about Gosling and McAdams. It's secretly a James Marsden movie. You're in a serious piece of fan fiction

on James Marsden's character. On the alternate ending. This is honestly more of a James, it's a James Marsden movie that just happens to spend a little too much time on those two I want some fan fiction where Gosling and Marsden get together they meet happenstance through Rachel McAdams

they start a bowling team I guarantee you you can find that on the world wide web I bet that's not even a deep cut no that's an easy Google did you guys watch jury duty yes james marsden rules yeah it's great but when he says that line he goes i'm the guy from the notebook who isn't the guy from the notebook one of the funniest things i have ever most self-aware

like joke i've seen an actor making a series in forever. Like it was so fucking funny. God, he killed Kevin Connolly. Kevin Connolly is up in there too. You mean my dude? I went to the red light district with an answer to him. Still one of the best. Oh,

still one of the best texts I ever got from you. Sugar Shane, your final pick. All right. I'm kind of swinging for the fences on this one you can let me know if it's a no-go someone else's home movies like your partner's home movies that you're not in whoa that's happened to you well they've been like oh like what people like i don't even have home movies yeah you want to watch my birthday yeah or like shit like that like i

don't know i'd be i can let it go because I have another one I'm okay with allowing it yeah I'm fine with it it's interesting I want to watch that with a partner for you I love seeing like a Dana's yeah

move when she was a little kid are we talking about first date or now I would never want to do that ever the person you love

you don't want to see the one they're like eight running around it's like I know I have a joke about it but to me it's like hearing about someone's dream it's fucking awful like you don't want to see them when they're like running around like i know i have a joke about it but to me it's like hearing about someone's dream it's fucking awful like i don't want to sit through this what about everything bagels i had one the other day i had one the other day same price as all the other bagels i shit you not it's fucking nuts

it's out there in the world bro it happens yeah it's a big hit if it sucks so much why you guys keep bringing it up you're a truth teller man it's like the world to bro. It happens. It's a big hit. If it sucks so much, why do you guys keep bringing it up? You're a truth teller, man. I just like the world to know. Hey, nobody said it sucked. I don't think any of your comedy sucks. I enjoy everything. Oh, you go

fuck yourself with that last line. I enjoy everything. I do. I thought you were doing a bagel. Everything bagels. Oh, no, no, no no i wish i was that clever today i don't have it i don't have that gear today um i uh yeah did someone do this to you i like like they just like not like no it's never happened but i just the idea of it really upset me when i was thinking about this draft.

Just sitting there getting worked up. All Matt Hartraid's joke. And then that's my cousin. I just had this idea of like, I'm watching with someone and then just being like, oh, that's Dee Dee. You wouldn't like her. And now I've got to ask questions about Dee Dee. And then

they'll just be like, oh, that's great. It's like you want to be alone. You're just sitting there looking at your know like it didn't just be like it's like you want to be alone you're just sitting there looking at your watch like can we just put on fatal attraction already and be done with it i don't know what these home movies are doing it's funny because you're one of the biggest sweethearts in the world i know you're painting a picture of you yeah you make it seem like you're not with these pics i'm not i'm like i have an exterior that's that's rough but there's you know beneath the crust there's the mantle and then there's the core much like a well cooked everything bagel

there's crunch on the outside soft and chewy inside man those everything bagels it just seemed like I would have to start asking questions about people I'd never met that didn't have historical significance or anything you know like historical i love it

it's usually rarely just you it's usually like you're there and it's her and like maybe her parents are there if the whole family's there i can't imagine that that's fucking as many times painful as extra people were there they They reminisce about each other. I'm just being left out. You can kind of tune out. It's not about you. You can look away at how people dress. Yeah, but if we're watching something together, it should be together.

You can't take this one out. I get why they don't want to watch Blood In, Blood Out. Is this like when we made you watch your stand-up comedy at a house party with all of us? I would hate that. He did not like it. Good set, though. It was very fun. But I fucking, no, man.

It just, like, okay, if there's a half dozen people and they're all watching that and they're like, oh, that's not what happened. I love, but it's people you love. Stories usually suck. You're definitely going to love this. And I'm like, oh, really? Tell me the story.

Like, well, so first of all, you need to know there are two Albertsons. And it was Sarah's birthday. And you're like, all right. And then I said, go to the one on Throckmorton. And then they put the cake order in for the one on Nestle tree and back in Fort, we went, but what happened was we said, would it be possible just to have the cake made at Throckmorton's and you didn't have to go there, but she'd already left. And this was before cell phones. So she went over there and now that we had two cakes and we thought

we weren't going to have any so happy birthday Sarah and that's why Sarah the girl you're dating gets two cakes every birthday here's your responsibility from now on fuck all that shit alright 35 seconds and you learn something cute and precious

about someone you love yeah boring and taking up space in my brain. You got to keep all those obscure Colin Quinn bits. Yeah. Almost no FX lyrics. I didn't say there was other good stuff in there, but there is shit I like in there. You guys make it into a fair point

but it's my brain I should be able to have what I want in it you can I hear you I love it my final pick is going to have nearly you know who you are that's alright that's good this was on Amazon for a long time.

I imagine it's still there. I don't know if it's quite a movie, but there's this classic albums series of like documentaries that are like an hour each. Maybe they originally ran on VH1. I honestly don't know, but there's one about the album Asia by Steely Dan on Amazon that I love. And I've watched like 10 times.

I find it very meditative for some reason. I'll probably watch it right after this. Yeah. I'm thinking about that I love. And I've watched like 10 times. I find it very meditative for some reason. I'll probably watch it right after this. Yeah. I'm thinking about that. Yeah. I need a nap too. Can't even, I've brought it up to her.

She only does. She doesn't even really like Steely Dan at all. She's okay with it. If it's on fine. She doesn't really care. But the idea of her watching a fucking one hour documentary about some dude talking about the keyboards on fucking deacon blues melts her eyes so fast where it's like no we're not watching that we're not why i'm not going to watch that it's one of the hardest sales i've ever tried to

sell and i've tried multiple times to sell it yeah because. Because I'll scroll past it. I'll be like, oh, look. It's pretty short, too. You know? It's an hour. Yeah. I'm starting to learn that I don't like sharing. That's what it feels like. Yeah, that's true. I think that's what it is. I don't think I like sharing or compromising. Yeah.

That's because all you're doing there is saying something that should be interesting to me. Right. And I'm putting myself in Dana's position, and I'm like there is saying something that should be interesting to me. Right. And I'm putting myself in Dana's position and I'm like, I wouldn't want to watch that shit either. You wouldn't want to watch a one hour. I don't like to do it in, but I see why it is interesting to you. Oh,

that's right. I see why it is interesting to you though. Like I do. I see why it's good. Like matter to enjoy. But like, I, I was just like,

ah, no, like, and I like, so i'm learning something about myself in this draft and that is to be more sharing yeah it's good yeah i think because i'm not doing a good part i'm just looking back at everything i've said today and it's all bad when we cap it here thusly isaac had to take off to go do a different podcast so he doesn't get a pic fucking Jagoff what do they call baloney

in Pittsburgh again? Jumbo fucking Jumbo Jagoff baloney Jagoff Jumbo Pony fucking Jumbo Pony I don't know what actually that is to recap these are movies that are the hardest to sell your partner I don't know what action that is. Hey, where did I get the jumbo there?

To recap, these are movies that are the hardest to sell your partner on watching. David, you went first and you drafted Freddy Got Fingered, Shaft Goes to Africa, Time Cop, Bronson, and Surf Ninjas. Sunday afternoon, I'll never have. No, not anymore. Sean, you went second. You took Scarface, Belly, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Wild Things, and then The Notebook. I think it sounds like a great day. Shane, you went third.

You took the Doctor Who movie. Shane, you took movies that you didn't want to see. Just to be clear. I was a partner, and I didn't want to see it. Yeah. I just took it. It also sounds like you saw the movies with your partner. But I was right.

They fucking suck. These aren't helping you build your I'm selfish. Yeah, I'm aware. I got work to do. I understand that. Show me a perfect person. I'll show you a liar. One of the Doctor Who movies.

Out of the furnace. That porn that that girl wanted to watch when apparently you hadn't handled the gasms sufficiently. Fatal attraction. And then someone you love's home movies. That's the hardest one.

That's so icy. You don't have to say someone you love. Yes, he did. Nobody else would try to show you. My final, I went last. I took Gettysburg 300, Boondock Saints, Triple Frontier, and the Aja Classic Albums Steely Dan documentary. We left a lot of stuff on the board.

We said a lot of the picks throughout the draft. Yeah. My last one was Hobo with a Shotgun. That was the other one that I was torn between. Oh, yeah. Hobo with a Shotgun. Oh, yeah.

Thinking of the word shot, shot caller. I started watching. Shot us. The Jamaican crime movie. Marked for death, that one where there's Screwface, those two Jamaican crime movie marked for death that one where there's screw face those two Jamaican twins no screw face blood sport yeah

I picked time cop but really any Van Damme was a universal soldier nowhere to run you could maybe get away with no no no no no no they're all no no nohere to run you could maybe get away with. No, no, no, no. No, no. They're all nowhere to run. I know. Fucking Death

Warrant. They're all the same movie. They're just in different climates. Once Upon a Time in America? Long. Blood In, Blood Out. Long movie. Oh yeah, Blood In, Blood Out. Yeah, I had Juice on there and like new jersey

drive all like all these movies i love above the rim see some of them i can get though like i could get like i was i i kind of lose pitch training day and she's like i like that movie so there's something i can get there's something i can oh even in that genre of like good movies and so there's something i could get yeah i guess that's we're... That's what... When I was doing... I was doing some lobs, and she'd be like, I'd watch that. I'd watch that tonight. I'm like, no. What?

Like what? Yeah, that's what I want to hear. Well, Training Day was definitely... Oh, you know one that... You know one that she... She's like, tell you what I wouldn't ever watch with you is Gladiator. I hate that movie. And I couldn't even...

I couldn't even bring myself to bring it up, because I can't. Did you know the second one is going to have Denzel in it? We talked about it in detail. And Paul Mescal's thighs. And Pedro Pascal. Why the fuck? Pedro Pascal, right? It's going to be so

goddamn good. I saw him in New York like a month and a half ago, two months ago. Pedro Pascal. Pascal? Oh, he's a cute guy. Just linen shirt man like yeah uh predator was one that i brought up where she's like no the movie's rules that so you know just somewhere you're in an interesting situation because like predator is basically like i mean it's a dumb action movie it It's great. But I don't see why some of the other things you've said you couldn't get over.

Belly? Yeah. I mean, it's like the same. It satisfies the same thing. You know, it's like it's empty calories. I think they're different. Well, they are different for her. But yeah, trust me.

You ain't got to sell me, but I like them all. Well, we want to hear your picks hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone the afp patreon i the bag started shipping for our highest yeah yeah the trailblazer exclusive uh somebody tagged me in one of those uh they look sick shout out to trailblazer uh all the live episodes featuring none other than Shane Torres are up there on the Patreon right now. Bonus episodes,

auction drafts, mailbags, all of that stuff. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to super producer Isaac Lee on the ones and twos in absentia. In absentia. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Hodja Beats.

And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shukra. that was a hate gum podcast