All Fantasy Everything - Things That Make You Go "Hmm..." (w/ Sean O'Connor)

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

AKA our stand-up sets.Guest:Sean O'Connor (IG @seanoconnz, X @seanoconnz)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft everything and anything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are joined by our good friend, stand-up comedian, writer, and the first guest we ever had on All Fantasy Everything, Sean O'Connor. We are drafting things that make you go, hmm. I'm your host Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my friends and comedians Sean Jordan and David Borey.

This is it, we're in it. Yeah, I never know, I never know yet. You best start believing in podcasts, matey. Yes. Because you're in one. That's the best part of all those movies. It is indeed. I'm like, what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? When you say you're rewatching something, it implies that you're into it. You know what I mean? It implies that I've seen it one, at least one other time before, and now I'm watching it a second time.

Rewatch. Everybody saw it that summer. When I hear rewatch, I hear- I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. What happens when you hear it, dude? Now if you said watching it again, I'd be like, oh, he's seen it once before.

You know, I wasn't even on that. Hey, Sean, Sean, stay out of Sean, Sean, stay out of this. Sean, stay out of this. O'Connor, it's been a while since you've been on the pod. Sean and I hate each other now. It's really, that's part of it. It's a dynamic we've entered into. I don't even think I'm officially married now

because I don't like Ian so much that it doesn't count. I'm Theodore, they're Alvin and Simon. Yeah, yeah, we're always quarreling. Did they like each other? They liked each other, right? They were brothers, they liked each other. The Chipmunks? Yeah, I think the Chipmunks liked each other.

They loved each other, they didn't always like each other. I feel like Alvin could've had a nose problem, you know what I mean? For sure Alvin would've had a coke problem. If that would've kept going, if they let that reach its natural conclusion. I think Alvin would've had a coke problem, that would have kept going if they let that reach its natural conclusion. I think Alvin would have had a coke problem.

Theodore would have got huge and then jacked, but like annoying about it. Yeah, yeah. He would have gotten like Mike Biby buff. He looks like a different animal. I do think the chipmunks perfectly sync up with like the lonely island and pop star Yeah, we're like is Alvin And then your most kind of Simon he's trying to keep going and then Theodore he's had enough of it. He's a pock farmer now Didn't they also have girlfriends Alvin and the chipmunks they have like there were they're with the Chipettes. Yeah, I think so.

The Chipettes, yeah. But they were dating them, which kind of seems like a pay to play situation. Three on three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, is it like that, what's the company that makes all the Korean boy bands? Oh, I don't know the names.

Which one? Of those companies. Isn't there that big, like the one that did a, yeah. Hybe, there's SM Entertainment, YG Entertainment, JYP. Those are the four companies. Those are the four ones, but they sort of like Went from Don fuck Donald Trump to that You can't be a rapper forever Together these Korean pop groups. I already got these nice shoes. I might as well get a suit and tie too Is it weird? You know how we did the Olympics things that you think you could be good at? I think I could put together an amazing boy band.

Interesting. I think that- There's a formula. I do think it's very easy. Like if you give me 40 boys in a room. Give me 40 boys. That's how I feel. I could whittle them down to make a platinum group.

And I mean a good one. Not like, you know how there were ones that were good but were bad? Like nobody thought 98 degrees. 98 degrees. Everyone in Cincinnati thought they were. See that's the problem. They were from Cincinnati. They were never going to hit it.

They were like visibly from Cincinnati. Break out. Out. Already were like visibly from Cincinnati. You're a Cincinnati boy? Break out, out. Already, where are you from? Ohio? No. No. You know, I don't understand why there's the old, so like Backstreet Boys had that Kevin dude,

and then Joey Fatone and N'Sync, and they were the old ones, and I don't really know what they're doing in the formula, because nobody, no teenage girls into that. You need the older brother type to let the girls know that the little boys are safe. Like. You think they're thinking that.

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think these little girls are like, I hope Brian's safe. Oh, Kevin's got him.

Okay. Yeah, exactly. Like Brian can't get addicted to drugs. Kevin's there. He's still having to his friends. He's shepherding them through. I get that. I can't get addicted to drugs. Tepin's there. He's still what happened to his friends. He's shepherding them through. I don't think so little buddy. It worked in Entourage too. You know Johnny Drama was there which leads me to believe that that was a boy band.

You have to offset it. It can't just be, it's too bright. It shines too bright if it's just five super hot dudes. It's also the, what is it, the Duff, the dumb ugly fat friend rule, where it's like if you have an older brother type there that just, like David was saying, it just makes the cute dudes look even cuter. More light on the cute guys. What a tough soul that would be.

And by the way, Brian's hot, don't be like that. No, no, but like compared, but he's got hair, you know? Yeah, does it feel like a conspiracy that his name literally is Joey the Fat One? That's hard. Yeah, that is. That makes me go, hmm. That makes me go, hmm.

That fits perfectly into what we're talking about today. Sean, David, you both had, Sean Jordan, David, you both had questions leading into this that you wanted to bring up on, on pod. My question was just, is this a, is this a CC Music Factory tribute or an Arsenio Hall tribute? That's all I wanted to know. This is how I was looking at it when I pitched it. Cause I was going based on the C&C Music Factory thing. Yeah.

That's mostly about busting. It's all about sense. But the Orsini Hall thing is like- I know what busting means. Yeah. I know what busting means. I like clarify. It's about busting. It's about busting, which makes me feel good.

Yeah. That's what makes me feel good. Yeah. That's what makes me feel good. But the R.C.D.E.O. Hall thing is kind of like, basically being like, if I have a parsley farm, do they garnish my wages? And I just found that out yesterday. I'm like, it's not bad. But it's also about busted to me.

To me, it's things's something you go hmm. Huh, yeah, yeah. I would approach it the same way. Yeah, things. Interesting. Sean knows what busting is. Yeah, I know what busting is. It makes you feel good.

You know Laura thinks that that's not on purpose. You think what? Laura thinks that's not on purpose. You're saying this very quietly, quietly she in the house. Yeah Did not I think I think your internet's kind of tripping out a little bit, you know, I think so Don't talk don't say her name like that On your wedding anniversary. Well, it's my wedding anniversary. The day we're recording.

Happy anniversary! Thank you very much. Mazel, can you do Mazel for... You can Mazel, absolutely. Two years down, two years to go. Does Mazel, yeah. Yeah. It's Wednesday, marriage Wednesday.

What was she saying? She thinks that Busta Makes Me Feel Good is not on purpose in that song as like a euphemism for sex? Am I using euphemism right? Everything sexual Bobby Brown ever did was on purpose. That wasn't Bobby Brown. Ray Parker Jr. But still. But everything Bobby Brown. I like you just saying that as an aside, which I agree with.

Does Bobby Brown have a Ghostbusting song though? He does. He's got the second one. Take control. We got we got we got so good. It's such a liberty dances to it That song is fantastic, you think anybody has a tattoo of the Statue of Liberty backing it up on Uncle Sam Anybody has a tattoo of the Statue of Liberty backing it up on Uncle Sam? Wow. People have tattoos from this show. If there was anyone on the fence

about getting a tattoo from this show, go ahead and get that. I, the guy. You go, oh, I do. The guy you DM'd. Oh, I have that tattoo. It's my full back tattoo. The guy who DM'd me,

I'm talking to you personally now, you DM'd me asking for me writing 100% Jewish Bar Mitzvah and everything in my handwriting. Please message me again. When you hit me up, I was in the middle of being sick and I was like, I'll do it. And then I just, it's been buried. I'm trying to find it in my DMs,

but hit me up one more time. I got it for you. Is he getting the tattoo? He's getting the tattoo. Is it the Shaqlackity guy? Is it the same guy who got me and Shawn's? It getting the tattoo? He's getting the tattoo. Is it the Shaqlackity guy? Is it the same guy who got me and Sean's? It's the Get Buck Playboy, yeah.

He's completing the circle. You know, I had to take handwriting lessons. The cipher's complete. The better part of a decade, and he still did it. Go to High Plains Comedy Festival. We're gonna be there September 19th through the 21st. That's what I got coming up. Individual tickets will be on sale,

I imagine next week, it's two weeks away. So I imagine next week at the latest, but they do them late. So if you're looking right now, you can get festival passes, but if you wanna wait for individual tickets, they'll come out. We're doing an AFE standup show,

nine o'clock on Thursday night, and then live podcasts on Friday and Saturday at six p.m. Yeah, come see my stand-up right now, it's mid. Mine is so bad. Oh man. I'm like really, like, my last weekend was like all hours, you know, and I was like, first show went so good that I was like, I basically wrote a new hour.

I'm a fucking genius. And then the next three shows, ooh baby. Where they're not giving you anything and you're like, oh no, there's not a lot here. And I told myself, I was like, I'm not doing any old stuff. So I'm just like, just taking it right on the chin. But you gotta do that though. You have to make yourself, I did the same thing.

You have to make yourself sit there. Otherwise you won't get anything new. I've been saying the words, that'll be something eventually. A lot on stage lately. Oh, I can't stand that. That'll be something. That'll be something.

Well, that's the beauty is when you know it will be something. It's just you haven't figured it out yet. I mean like. You're downstairs in a wine bar. You know what I mean? Like there's six people. What do you think? Here's the problem though. My that'll be something

Yeah is like the potential versus what I'm actually coming out what's coming out of my mouth is a sentence Yeah, that'll be something is a bit around the one sentence It's like what's gonna happen when AI learns how to braid hair and then it's like That's gonna happen when AI learns how to braid hair? And then it's like, that'll be a good bid. That's gonna be a great bid. Well that's either gonna be a joke or that's gonna be your way out of comedy is you teaching AI how to braid. Either way, that'll be something.

I open the first fully AI hair salon. Alan Iverson with braids is your logo. Not a bad person. Yeah. Alan Iverson with braids is your logo. Yeah. Not a bad idea. Man, we got to do this. O'Connor, man, are you dipping into standup anymore? What's going on? Where are you at? Okay, so I had made a vow to get back

during like right after the pandemic. Yeah. And then I did it a few times. I was like, this is not for me. And then I started going out with Nikki Glaser and it turns out I just wanted to perform for a lot of people. He just want a good show. That was the secret to get to be back into it is just like performing for

thousands of people. You were, the comedy you didn't want was performing in front of a bunch of like bored Gen Z hipsters at a bar in East LA Yeah, no, I just wanted like, you know angry people at a casino Found by my group my fat base. We're glad someone else's fan base. That's perfect David Bore is here cool.guyjokes77 on Instagram. Where can people see you? I have a comedy special for purchase on Patreon.

Go to patreon.com backslash David Borey, G-B-O-R-I-E, and buy Birth of a Nation. It's very fun. A lot of people are enjoying the spelling of it. They're enjoying the cover art that is the original Birth of a Nation cover art, but with me as a Klansman. And they're enjoying the jokes.

Yeah. It's a triple threat. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Go on the Patreon right now. I have interviews from, there's like 50 videos up there now. I have interviews from there's like 50 videos up there now I have interviews from Sean and Ian and all kinds of people and old stuff. I've done and new stuff. I'm working on It's all very exciting. The patreon is free. The specials $12 go do that

You got a big old my mama told me to are coming up to I do have a big my mama told me to her The dates are also on Instagram. All the places that we all always go. I feel like they don't go anywhere new for standup anymore. Nah. They don't have any new cities. I mean, what are we doing? Yeah, that's all right.

They don't build any new ones. And the old cities are like, you're like, oh, I don't really have to go back to Peoria, Illinois. Yeah. You know I want to. You know what I mean? That's one that I wanna go to desperately. That was first place I ever featured.

I desperately wanna go. They won't have me. I'm sorry. What did you do? Yeah. Kept out of Peoria. No thank you, they said. Yeah, they don't want your boy back.

I guess I didn't, yeah, I don't know. I didn't make a dent. Podcast is taking a melancholy turn. Yeah, Sean O'Connor is here Yeah, it's Sean O'Connor's on on on everything right? Yeah, Twitter Instagram letterbox Talk you ever posted there But yeah, just follow me everywhere and watch solar opposites on New loop. Yeah, that's right. Are you on letterbox? Oh I'm on letterbox I I think I'm gonna have to just start becoming anonymous on letterbox because I go a little too hard sometimes Are we like trash in a movie or just trashing a movie and I got really I got I watched it blow up in Demi's face

Like then he really hated the movie Bullet Train. And the writer of Bullet Train followed him. It was like, I'm a huge fan of your letterbox. And it just really broke my heart. Oh, no. Oh, that's not fair, though. What? No, that's not fair. The bullet train guy. No. I mean, honestly, like, you don't think a human being is behind bullet train.

No, you're never. And I don't think it's the script's fault. I would never I would never I haven't even seen bullet train, but I rarely see a movie and I'm like, the screenwriter fucked up. Yeah, no, it's never the case. I mean, like, yeah. writer fucked up. Yeah, it's never the case. Sometimes, honestly, bullet train is the problem. A bullet train is everyone was having a little too much fun making it. Yeah, yeah.

I felt like bullet train is like a burger at Guy Fieri's restaurant. There's just too much stuff on it. Too much happening. There's just like we don't need the candy bacon and the andouille sausage or whatever. Yeah, right. And it's got like a raspberry. It's got peanut butter and like a raspberry habanero. And then the whole thing's deep fried and you're like, fuck, it's noon, man.

Each fry has a kazoo built into it. So when you take a bite, the releasing steam makes a kazoo noise. All right. Actually, now that's my escape plan. That's how I get out of town. Yeah that's how you just got it out. I'm gonna open that next to your uh your your artificial intelligence Allen Iverson braiding salon. We are gonna have the block on fire. Uh my name is Ian Carmel. Ian Carmel across all the platforms. My special will be coming out,

I think it's sometimes September or October. Hell yeah. I've been working on a lot of other stuff. I promise you, AFE will tour again, but we've got some life things happening, which will become more clear. Clearingly apparent, huh? Clearingly apparent in the coming months,

which have caused us to put a pause on that. But all good stuff, all happy, happy good stuff. Yeah, no one got the electric chair or anything. No, Sean has been sentenced to death in the state of Wisconsin. Come get me, Wisconsin. For his views. For his views. He can't go to Wisconsin, he can't go to Peoria.

But yeah, I got nothing else. Buy T-shirt Swim Club, give it a read. Sean Jordan, how are you coming on the book? You getting close to the end or what? I was hoping you'd wait to ask chapter 12. Wow. Yeah. That would be bad.

There's only 13. I'm going to use it in the Ser serpentine draft explanation today I'll be using. Oh, well then let me move on. Let me move on. I got nothing else to promote. Watch Ellen's new special, which I helped her write. It'll come out this month, I think. People on the internet are being normal

about that coming out. Yeah. Yeah. If there's one thing I, people on the internet love comedy. They love comedy. They love Ellen. Good opinions about it.

They love Ellen. They're just cool in general too. Random people on the internet, they're nice. That's the good thing about the internet. I've never seen people read articles more than when it's an interview with Ellen. They like really are waiting. Like they get Google alerts for interviews with Ellen just to shit on Ellen.

It's it's healthy. They're combing over it. They're combing over it and pulling out everything, everything that could cause them even the little bit, the smallest amount of rage. But whatever, if it makes you happy that way or if it makes you happy the other way, enjoy. Hey, there is to put some respect on Ellen's name She's like an all-time or stand-up like I'm saying I like listen

I worked with her so obviously like I guess I'm a little biased, but she's a fucking legend in stand-up. She's like Amazing at it No one's mad. No one's saying anything bad No, everyone is saying everyone is they can. Everyone is saying something bad about her. They can't yet. The special's not out. No, but just about her in general. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying this will, you know, maybe it'll be as great. I'm just saying, give her a break.

She literally changed so much in society. Yeah. I thought Neil Brennan in his last special kind of nailed it, where it's like, and you need her to be nice too You know like She destroyed her entire life by coming out. No one else was out of the clock anyway Watch that special. I think it's pretty funny So check all that out and listen all fantasy everything comes to you said high plains comedy festival be excellent to one another We are gathered here today as we've already said to draft things that make you go. Hmm

hmm We are gathered here today, as we've already said, to draft things that make you go, hmm, hmm, hmm. However, in whatever inflection you want to put on it, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, play between the three of you, and we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No way. Oh, is it?

Wait, was that scissors, Sean? You had paper, you had paper. That was paper, scissors, shoot. No way. Oh, is it? Wait, was that scissors, Sean? You had paper. Yeah, that was paper. It was paper. I'll go higher. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, a paper. Sean Jordan wins a paper against two rocks.

As the winner, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft, but I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question. I try to get, you just covered in chapter 11, I think. 10,000 steps. It's always been my magic the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm not too far away in case Max wakes up. So I'll go down the street and then I'll cross the street and then I'll just come back and then I'll cross again and then I'll go back and I only go like 50 steps at a time.

So usually I kill, if it's under a thousand, I'll do that at the end of my night. So I like that. Basically it means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Find a way to make me feel dumb every time. It's nice. I do do that though, I do feel crazy when I do it.

I'll walk around the garage sometimes even. I do too, I'll go out. It's part of the reason I don't, like Dana and I, when we talk about if we ever leave LA, the one thing keeping me from Chicago is knowing the winter would be me getting 10,000 steps walking around my living room. Treadmill, I have a treadmill in the garage.

I'm telling you. The winter is so brutal. I'm on the treadmill every day in the winter in the garage. And it's great because you can just watch stuff on your computer, you don't have to go anywhere. Like I have the baby monitor right there. That's where you watch your porn, right? Yeah, that's where I do that.

You're just cranking it. You ever tried to get 10 G's with get 10 G steps with a rock hard bow? You go 10,000 hard, dude, right? You do 10,000 soft and 10,000 hard. That's the next evolution. Takes about 1,000 to get hard because I'm 42, but yeah. Used to take me 100. Doctor, yeah, the doctor told me I gotta do 10,000 hard.

I don't know. Apparently for my blood pressure. That would be, you're just sitting in the doctor's office like, so why do I need a boner when I do this? And they're like, what? Well, the capillaries. If I were a doctor, I would. I see the logic behind doing it hard.

It's like compression socks when you're in a marathon. It's the same thing. It keeps the blood moving, it keeps it cycling through your system. We should all do hard walks, dude. I hate walking around hard. No underwear, men, short, hard walk. Sometimes I'll pop one on my bike and I gotta like pull over.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy to still get them in my old age. Like random boner, you're like, what is going on? You're not that old. I'm old enough to where I shouldn't get random woody's. You're not not get boners old. No, you're 40, what are you, 42? 42, but I shouldn't be randomly getting them still,

should I? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's healthy, that's healthy. Sometimes you just gotta thank God for the sunshine, you know what I mean? Yeah, it happens every time you see a car wreck. It's weird that that's why you get them, but. That's how I.

It's weird that they make you cry, them, but. That's not a. It's weird that they make you cry, but that's just like a person. Yeah. What's going on up there? Better not be construction. I don't want to waste this boner. Sean, with that in mind, what would the order of today's draft be?

Things that make you go, hmm. You know, I don't have the most confidence. I'm going to go first. I'm going to go first. Then Sean. This is going to go Sean Sean. I'm going to the most confidence. I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna go first. Then Sean, this is gonna Sean Sean, we're gonna make it confusing. And then David and Ian. Sean Sean David Carms.

Fantastic. Sean Jordan, Sean O'Connor. What an interesting Irish name right there. Sean Sean David Carms. Sean Sean David Carms. Listen, he may have failed as Prime Minister, but we still love him. His heart was in the right place. He played safety for Notre Dame in the 40s.

You know what I mean? Like, he lived a life. We're gonna get to Sean Jordan's first pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. Now you want to learn a new language, of course you do. Who doesn't want to learn a new language?

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash all fantasy today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L betterhelp.com slash all fantasy. Today to get 10% off your first month, again that's betterhelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash all fantasy. And we're back, welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. We are drafting things that make you go, hmm? And Sean Jordan has the first pick.

When I see, it's two things specifically. When I see milk or hummus that says it's expired, but it doesn't look expired. Makes me go, hmm. It's those two things. You know what? Fuck, I was gonna take that. I was gonna take that exact one. See, I don't know if I'm doing see if we can edit in a flaming basketball and then edit out me saying I'm gonna see if we can edit that in I'm gonna see if we can edit that in

I'm gonna see if we can edit in a flaming basketball and then edit out me saying I'm gonna see if we can edit that in I'm gonna see if we can edit that in I'm gonna see if we can edit in a flaming basketball and then edit out me saying I'm gonna see if we can edit that in I'm gonna see if we can edit in a flaming basketball and then edit out me. I'm gonna see if we can edit in a flaming basketball and then edit out me saying, I'm gonna see if we can edit that in. Yeah, it always makes me wonder, does milk really, because if it's not chunky,

can I still drink it, you know? I think it's just big milk trying to get, trying to get that, it's another rapper name. I'm not trying to get that money, don't worry about what I'm trying to do. Big milk. That's another rapper name. I'm not trying to get that money. Don't worry about what I'm trying to do. That's big milk trying to get his 10,000 in. Yeah, I never know. And hummus, it doesn't I don't think hummus looks.

I don't even know if it gets moldy. So I can never tell. I think it would. It would. I don't know if you've ever seen like hummus left out. Like if you've ever left it out overnight, it gets, it's disgusting. And it separates, which makes me want to vomit. It like, it gets, it gets, it gets soupy. I hate that word, but it gets like.

That's fancy hummus. I'm talking Sabra. Like Sabra develops like a snake skin over it. Yeah, it starts turning into a person. It starts, it's trying to turn into a dejean, which will then take over you. It just turns into Jonah Hill. Yeah.

Here's my big question though. Because my issue with it, the reason that I don't ever taste it, is it only takes you fucking up that milk thing one time. Boy, oh boy. I've done it. And then I'm out the game. When you go in confident, don't even look,

and then take a swig of expired milk, that is. It's so bad. There is nothing between your brain and your gag reflex. There's no, you're not involved at all. It's just like straight shot, the pneumatic tube, phunk, right to your mouth. And that's why it's not worth it to me to test. If it's a day before it expires with the milk

I'm like I'm done with how much here's a question. How much would a gallon of milk have to cost to make it worth you checking? $20 That's less than I thought I was doing like a thousand or something I don't think I've had non baking milk in my house for day was baking. I mean, oh You mean like we have almond milk. baking, I mean. What does that mean? Oh, you mean like you haven't had? That's the other thing, yeah, we have almond milk. Yeah. I will say I have not had milk since I was 11 years old, specifically because I had a bad,

I had that moment where I was expired. Because you had a bad dad. I threw up everywhere and I just never had milk again. No. Yeah. I'm eating cereal dry, I'm disgust, like I'm disgusted by milk. I wanna puke pouring out the bad milk. Oh yeah.

Just like pouring it down the drain. That means it's still like- And then you hit the disposal and it like jacks the smell up into the air. So we gotta kid- So the idea of it like, that's just not a game I'm willing to play. You know this, this'll happen is we'll still put,

we're phasing out of it, but Maxine still has the closed water bottles, the water bottles that aren't transparent. So sometimes we'll forget that there's milk in there and leave it in the whip or something. And then you take it out and all you do is take the lid off and it's like a silo, like it's like cranberries in the can, you know?

That's what it's like in there. You pour it out and it's like a congealed silo of rotten milk. And it's crazy. That's. You pour it out and it's like a congealed silo of rotten milk. And it's crazy. That's the toddler version of like when somebody's got a dip can that they left out in the house. You think it's Diet Coke, but it's not. You know, I was at the comedy club last night

and there's signs above all the urinals that said, don't put your chew pouches in the urinals. Who? Oh, it just kills me that there's people doing it. I think chew pouches are getting big, yeah. Yeah, everyone's so into zen right now. Like it's become... You know what?

A kid asked me for a zen the other night out of nowhere. He was leaving a show in Seattle and he's like, hey, good job. And then he, I was selling socks inside and he leans in, he's like, you ain't got a zen, do you? I go, no, I don't have a zen. You seem like you had a zen. I didn't do any stand up about a zen. I barely know what a zen is.

He just felt it on you. But if you saw your set, you're like, this is a dude who used to party really hard and has since then sort of, you know, gotten his life together a little bit, which says to me he might have a zen. Zen feels like diet partying. He does zen. Like, yeah, you have big zen energy.

Yeah, I do. I just lean in, listen, if I give give you as in I gotta give everyone as in And then I don't get these in for the hotel I'm trying to watch matrix resurrections tonight. All right, what is this in is just it's a pretty much It's like a tip. It's like a like a mouth mouth. I don't know like a chew sig. That what it is I don't know. I think I honestly don't even know talk about it for free. Yeah It's a pouch that I think you put in your lip and it apparently doesn't make you like Like I don't know if you ever did old school like pouches, but they made you

violently throw up immediately Then doesn't do that. So now the kids are addicted to it. Oh, well, I guess Zin figured it out. Anyway, hummus or milk going bad. Yeah, yeah. Gross. It is gross. Sean O'Connor, time for your first pick.

Okay, so you know what I like about this is interpretations of things that make you go hmm. Wide open. It seems to me it's wide open. And I think I'm gonna, with my first pick, I'm gonna start off semi-strong of a hot take. My thing that makes me go hmm is Sabrina Carpenter. I feel like she was tailor-made for me as something I should like. She's like a pop singer who has like really fun songs.

She has like new euphemisms that she's introducing into like the lexicon of the world. Mia Spressor? Yes. But to me, she looks like she was created by AI and there's something uncanny about her. I talked about this at Life With My Wives who has asked me to stop talking about it. Who's bored out of her mind? To me she has the vibe of Greta the female gremlin in Gremlins 2.

Wow. I can't get past it. Sorry, Sabrina Carpenter. Avid listener, Sabrina Carpenter. We apologize for Sean. I get it. I like her. I like her. But I'm still, every time I see a picture of her, I just go, hmm.

There's something about her that I'm like, it's like manufactured sexiness, which I guess is like What happens when your bops are she's so little? Too that's something that there that's part of it. How tall is she? She's like 411 or something like that She's trying to get that in my family. Yeah. Yes I mean, she's a flyer in a gym. I am like a gymnastics group or a cheerleading squad But she also looks like she should beer in a gym. I am like a gymnastics group or a cheerleading squad, but she also looks like she should be singing in a shell, like an open shell.

Oh my. Yeah. There's also, and part of this is us probably being older and part of it is I think the nature of pop music, but it's also, she was just here all of a sudden. It was that- That's how it all feels now though. That, that please don't, you know,

please don't embarrass me, motherfucker. That was the first song. Motherfucker. I love how she says motherfucker in that song. It's just, it's great. It's great. I do think it's really cool that all the pop stars now just curse. Yeah. That's been a long time coming, I feel.

It really is. Like, it's fucking awesome. Like, I like Jeff Marrone, it's just like, like the Beatles were talking about holding hands and you knew that was sex, but now she's like, I'm gonna eat it out. Yep. Front seat of a car.

So faggy. There's no subtext, I'm like, this fucking rules. And yeah, like it's basically Sabrina Kruppertor, yeah, I like that she curses. She's from a place called Quakertown, Pennsylvania. That's not real. In Bucks County. All right, everything about this.

That's a generator. That's a block star generator. I'm telling you, she's AI. I don't wanna go. I have not been seen this in there. She'll be braiding hair in no time. I'm on her Wikipedia right now, so I'll take this with a grain of salt,

but it says that her aunt is Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson. What? That's what it says. That's what it says. Someone's gotta be her niece. It's never the Nepo babies that you think. It's always like, oh yeah, my uncle styled Chester Cheeto or some shit.

Yeah. Okay, so she was on Girl Meets World on the Disney Channel. Oh, that was the spin-off or the sequel or whatever? Yeah, and that's where she started. Interesting. Well, you know, her music, I just found out that it's her that sings that, whatever the motherfucker song is, and then me espresso.

Those songs sound completely different to me. So that's fun. That's part of the AI thing. And the fact that she's dating Barry Keoghan, who is the most AI movie guy. Yeah, he is an AI movie guy for sure. Which one is he? Who is he? The Irish guy.

He's the Irish guy, he's in like a Ben, she's a Vinny Sheeran, he's like, oh, my man, it was that dream. So Ben. But when you see him, he looks like Minecraft, or like not Minecraft. He really does, he looks like his head is Minecraft. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know who you're like his head is minecraft. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I know who you're talking about. That's crazy. Well, I'll say, she's a her. I get the same, I get the exact same thing where I'm like, I like this music. I'm glad she's around. But what is this? I get that. Even the lyrics to Mi Espresso are so like, what do you mean that's that Mi Espresso?

It's Coco translating. It's something about it. It's very, Mi Espresso is very Orat. I think it's Cree. I think it's Cree. I hate you. That's not Mi Espresso. I can only do Italian.

I forgot how to do Orat voice. You gotta say my wife. Focus. Mi Espresso. There we go. I think it's saying Espresso turns it Italian, and there's no helping wife. Focus. Mi espresso. There we go. I think it's saying espresso turns it Italian and there's no helping that. Yeah.

It's like there's only so many ways you could say Bumbaclot. Bumbaclot. You could say it in British. Oh, it's Bumbaclot. For a second. I was doing Bumbaclot in the car the other day on the way home from Seattle by myself because I remembered a belly. Now when you say I was doing Bumba Clot in the car the other day on the way home from Seattle by myself because I remembered in belly.

Now when you say I was doing Bumba Clot, you shouldn't do that in drive, John. You figure it out. I stopped in Kelso and I got some Bumba Clot. I was doing Bumba Clot in the car. I was trying to get, because he doesn't say you know what I'm saying, he just says saying. I was trying to get it right and I was like, oh, I don't sound like him so I can't do it Why is your voice keep getting so soft? That one I trailed off because I was wondering if I was being racist or not

So that one has nothing to do with Lord So I just trailed off, I hope everybody forget what I was talking about and we'd keep it pushing. The enduring mystery of Sabrina Carpenter is of course what we're talking about. Me espresso and everyone was just like, yes. Yes, we know you made. Why don't you think, it makes sense,

what don't you get about that? It's like she's getting you hyped up, she's espresso. That's that, yeah, but I, like saying like, I am like espresso and that's that me espresso, it's just a weird thing to say, isn't it? Well that's why you're not a pop star and she is, my friend. I am a pop star. No, you're not.

I am a pop star. No you're not. Yes I am. Don't start this again. Yes I am. I'm in Maroon 5. I'm in Maroon 5. The last time you said this, you were having a night terror,

so let's not repeat. He's Maroon 6. I'm Maroon 6, dude, prove I'm on Maroon 5. The last time you said this, you were having a night terror, so let's not repeat. He's Maroon 6. I'm Maroon 6, dude. Prove I'm on Maroon, I'm the backup. Does every band have like a Billy Preston? Like, I'm the guys from Maroon 5. Yes. Like, is there a guy who's just like,

you know I'm Blink 183, right? Yeah, you know that. I'm long relief for Maroon 5, dude. I come in and I found the bullpen. The six of Maroon, everyone knows it. It's in the book, he gets his own chapter. Yeah, don't deny my truth, man. I was there.

That's a fun idea everybody's got. Sabrina Carpenter, her whole thing, does indeed make you go, hmm. And don't play me like that's that me espresso isn't a strange lyric I love the song but it's it's a weird weird weird If you heard someone saying that just talking like yeah, we're hearing that at a restaurant you Bastard, yeah, someone's on a first date. Well, it's kind of like a me espresso Yeah, if someone's like I'm hot to Yeah, if someone said I'm hot to go, if someone's like I'm hot to go, that's fine,

I'm like alright, yeah that's a little weird that you're saying that in conversation. You know, but okay, at least I have a context for that. But like. That would be, I'd be like, you mean sex right? I'd have to clarify. If you and I were sitting on the couch and you're like, and it was like 1 a.m., when we still lived in L.A. together

and you're like damn, Laura's texting me at 1 a.m. When we still lived in LA together, you were like, damn, Laura's texting me at 1 a.m. Guess that's that me espresso. You would have laughed your little butt off if I would have said that. Yeah, I absolutely would have laughed my little butt off. Oh man, it's so weird. I would have thought it was notable. You would have mentioned it the next day.

I would have brought it up. And I'd be like, dude, I did so much Bumble Club before I got that text, I didn't know what was going on. David, time for your first pick. Oh, my first pick. And this is because this is just, I've had to stop on the street and really think about this a lot.

That phrase, the blind leading the blind, because now it's happened probably seven or eight times that I've seen blind people on walks together and I'm like a couple in my neighborhood. Yeah, it's pretty regular. It's regular and then you're like, well then what the fuck are we talking? I think you can lead the blind. They can leave They do it all the time they at least accompany the blind so then what the fuck are we talking about? Why are we mad at it? I don't know. I wonder where it comes from Shakespeare the Bible. What do you think? Shakespeare is the Quran Let me go shut my windows real quick. Oh, it's from something called the Upanishads from 800 BC, which is a post-Vedic Sanskrit

text. Of course. It's a smart podcast. Yeah, but that time was very ableist, so would Yeah, now it's just I see I've seen it a lot of times in like the last year where I'm like And the first time it was kind of mind-blown. I did go hmm I was like would you look at that I was like kind of like a and then the second time I was like well It's kind of like they just do that. Yeah, I think they do because there's a couple in my neighborhood two canes arm and arm Yeah, never seen them in the Cause there's a couple in my neighborhood, two canes, arm and arm.

Yeah. Never seen them have an ounce of trouble enjoying the evening. We were watching the Paralympics round right now and there was a blind soccer. And that was gnarly. And I think there's coaches who were kind of like yelling, like guiding,

but they're just playing blind soccer straight up. And like, Shawn was watching with Laura like, boom, she just looked over like button up your shirt and put out that swisher. And I go, no, I can't believe it. I just stand up. Not in my house. You crazy bald heads think you're going gotta be able to see the place. I just go get an AK from under the pillow.

It's my house. Oh man, that got me. But yeah, that phrase is just like, what are we doing? I think we understand no, I think sighted people understand so little about the blind experience. I don't know shit about it. Oh God, of course. I know this blind lady and she's never, she's always having a great time.

Shout out to Eileen. He went swimming and she ate some mushrooms. Man, this is different. What's that like? Okay. What's that like? That's a new pic on my list is what that is. It's a lake. We were having is what that is. In the lake, we were up in horse two

and swimming around on mushrooms. And she was just like, I wish you guys could see what I see. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Shout out to Sweet G, she's awesome, she loves to party.

That rules. That does rule. But yeah, the more I'm interacting with blind people the more my phrases crazy. That's great Here's my first pick and I think this is a this is a very literal definition of the things that make you go hmm, which is Probably once every two months. I'll look at the can of sparkling water I'm drinking and be like, how's there nothing in this? Oh brother, yeah, that's a great one. What do you mean zero calories, zero sodium, zero everything?

Especially because I feel like they're sneaking more and more flavor into these things. They are. They're getting better tasting. There is a bubbly right now called Strawberry Sunrise that tastes like pink Starburst. And it is, like, exactly to the point where... And it gets you drunk.

Nothing in here? It's... What is going on? What do you mean that there's nothing in this? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep waiting for the push notification from the New York Times on my phone, being like, everybody who drank this much sparkling water is gonna be dead within the decade.

Like, I don't understand. I just had a barbecue the other day. Belly button or something. Yeah, right, exactly. All your guts are like, you won't have a ghost because you drank so much sparkling water and the sire, you won't have a ghost. You killed your ghost.

Concepcion brought over this mojito flavored La Croix, and La Croix, they're the people who are doing the least, you know what I mean? They don't really need to innovate in the space, and I tried it, because Bubbly, like the one you were saying, Bubbly, I'll constantly drink it and be like, how are they doing this?

Whereas La Croix, I'm often, okay, I understand. This mojito flavor, I was like, how the be like how are they doing this? Where's the Corolla? I'm often. Okay, I understand. Yeah, mojito flavor. I was like How the fuck isn't there something in this that's bad for me? It's it's insane. I mean, I'm currently joining you a limoncello That it it's it's delicious. It's better than Coca-cola, which I think is the greatest taste ever created by man. Yeah. Like, it's fucking dots again. No, you're right. You're, our insides are gonna fall out. It's obvious.

It has to be bad. It sucks. We're just the sample gen. We're the litmus test for bubbly water and I don't like it. I don't like being that. I don't want bubbly waters to be like smoking cigs where our kids are like,

can you believe they used to do that inside? Daddy had 30 a day. Yeah. Mom was pregnant. She'd just slamming, slamming bubbly water. People have been drinking. Here's the thing, like sparkling water or tonic water, they've been drinking it forever, you know?

That's true, but they were freaks. Remember back in the day, somebody would drink a club soda with lime? Yeah. You don't want that around your kids. No. Those were, those were like the first alcoholic like a stop drinking and they did something to simulate like the bitter taste of alcohol Like I'll have tonic in line

So that's my first one with my second one This is a localized thing that makes me go, hmm, which is when one of my pets, when one of my cats is wet. Oh yeah, where'd you get that? How come you're wet? I get that completely. You know what I mean, like is this from the toilet?

Did you get your tail in your water bowl? Is this pee? That's always the bit where you're like, God, I hope it's not pee. Do you ever pick him up and smell him? Just are you wet? That's always the bit where you're like, god, I hope it's not pee. Do you ever pick them up and smell them? Just to make sure? You have to do it.

Because if they're peeing on themselves, maybe something is medically wrong. But I'm often sitting on the couch enjoying myself, and my cat, Eddie, she'll jump up on the couch and curl up next to me, and I'll pat her, I'm like, why are you wet? Why is your tail wet? She's just, she got a life, dude.

You don't know about. You can't, and there's no, I mean I know it's like down to one of like three or four things, but still. Every time it happens I'm just like, huh. You ever watch those, people put like GoPros or like tiny cameras on their kitties, they're outdoor cats and just see what they get into at night? They got whole little communities. It's crazy. They got lives. They hang out with each other? communities. It's crazy, they got lives. Like night lives. Yeah. It's like kids' clubs?

Yeah, they crew up. These are actual videos that exist that I can watch. Yeah, you can use them. People just put cameras on their cats. It's gonna look like a cartoon when you look at it, but yeah, it's real. They make the rounds. They really make their way around the neighborhood.

Mike had a little cruise and all that. Yeah, ours too. But yes, mystery witness is pretty much the worst thing your pet could have. I will say my dog recently came in, walked into our living room and was sticky on his back. He had no idea how. Like, what?

He just got a Jolly Rancher in there. We don't have a gigantic tub of fudge or anything. But it was like he fell into fudge. Yeah! And they're just sitting there looking at you with that look on their faces like, everything's normal! And you're like, I wish I could ask you why you're sticky. How should I, how worried should I be? Everything's normal. And you're like, I wish I could ask you why you're sticky. How worried should I be? Or do dogs just get stickier as they get older? Maybe that's the thing that happens to them, I don't know.

That might be it. But wet pets is my second pick. David, time for your second pick. Tandem bicycles. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, dude. What is the point of this?

And I also am sick of them walking around like they're better than us We're it. Okay. Shut up still the dogs going crazy I'm sick of we're a jazz in the park and there's this one couple that's always a jazz in the park and they write a tandem Bicycle like a couple of fucking losers. Yeah And they're looking at me like I'm weird for having my own bike. Why would you, what's the benefit? There's no benefit to that. There's no benefit to connecting them.

You just wanna not steer, I guess. What the fuck, it's the fun of bicycle. It's just, it's so fucking stupid. A woman shouldn't steer her own bike, David. You stopped him dead in his tracks right there. That's right, that's right. Now I'm back on board. Yeah, yeah.

No, I just don't, it's just such a stupid piece of technology, I just don't get it. I just don't get it. It's so much harder to ride, I've done it a couple times. They're impossibly heavy. They're so hard to get going, harder even to stop. There's nothing about it, unless you are in a wide open. I can see the curvature of the Earth bike trail.

There's no point to a tandem bike. I rode it with Matt Bronger. Well, that's the point to a tandem bike. That was fun. That was fun. I do. I do think it is crazy that it has become such a popular thing, though, like in terms of like it should have been one and done. Like obviously the guy who invented a tend to bike really loved his wife and wanted to have a tend to bike ride with her.

But the idea that other people in every beach town has like, kind of, they all have like a huge supply of tend to bikes. They're not fun. The only thing I guess is like when you fall, so does your above one. And then that way you're equal in that moment of pain. But then you're bickering at each other because you're like, Don, Don, Don, you're fucked.

Don, you're making us fall. Like, and then you're in a fight. And I feel like you're more apt to fall. Of course you are. There's a whole nother brain operating that you're more apt to fall. Of course, of course you are. There's a whole other brain operating that you don't, you're not attached to trying to, no, it's a horrible idea. Can you hold on one second? I'm gonna let her in so she stops. Shut the fuck up. David's a dog. Look at this.

What if she's wet? I'm not wet! What if she's wet? David the domesticated dog guy. She's going in she's got a podcast next She's going on is anything happening in here that would make you So it's a beat she wants to be where the laughs are I think that's what's going on Yeah, she wants to be by daddy David. Sorry about that Is there anything sadder in a divorce than a tandem bicycle like a couple of jazz at the park?

You just get your saws all out Bring it to your next relationship Your new partner's like why you got a tandem bike and we're like, well, you know, it was I had in my last marriage I'm not gonna ride on the tandem bike you had with your old husband, you know Someone riding around on it half of its painted white you old husband, you know? You can't. You just see someone riding around on it, half of it's painted white, and you're like, oh, I can't ask. Oh, that's a smart joke.

That's a smart joke. That's the problem. That's the problem too, is you can't do it by yourself so that it's just stupid. It's just so stupid. Yeah, it is. I'm telling you, pick one. Next time, if you're ever around one,

just go try to pick it up. They're wildly heavy. Way heavier. It's like seven times heavier than a normal bike, where you think it should be like half heavier, you know what I mean? Because they haven't gotten that carbon fiber technology. No one has ever been like,

oh, we should bring that to tandem bikes. That'll never get there. You wanna get in, yeah. Because what, are you trying to make laps? Yeah, what are those? You're trying to make time on your tandem bicycle? I wanna see some people should bring that to tandem bikes. Like that'll never get there. You want to get me in, yeah. Let me see. Well, you're trying to make laps? Yeah, what are those? You're trying to make time on your tandem bicycle? I want to see some people trail riding on a tandem bike.

You want to get me on board? Go down a mountain on a tandem bike. That being said, the three of us should ride one around a three-way tandem at high planes. That's how we should get all over the place. Yeah, that's gonna happen. We can go to the park. And I'll show you where it happens.

I would love to go to the park during high planes. Let's attach three bicycles with a long shoelace in between each one and have that count. We can do that. I ride my bike to the park. I'm gonna ride my bike to the park later today. I just don't understand why Tendo bicycles aren't just a bicycle with like a little sidecar.

Like it would make so much more sense. Or like, do you see these electrical bicycles now with the little seat on the back? Yeah. That makes sense to me, but the- Those are motorcycles. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sean O'Connor, time for your next pick. Okay, you know, I think that makes me go, and that I, you know, I feel like it's, this is another hot take. Frasier, Frasier makes me go.

I never laugh when I'm watching Frasier and I wanna laugh so bad because everyone likes Frasier and I worry I'm too dumb for Frasier. I love Frasier. I'm a fan, I'm a hook line and sinker for it. I want it so bad. I want, I've tried it so many times. As a kid

I remember trying to trick myself and just laughing when the audience left You were a kid try to convince yourself how to walk laugh at Frazier It's not a laugh out loud I've never I don't know that I've laughed out loud at it It's more of a amusement. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a great show.

Yeah. But it just made me go, hmm. Yeah. Where I'm like, I, like as somebody who writes comedy and has worked on television shows, I'm like, I've never been in a room that would create this. And it's so, it's so confusing to me on a level that I've experienced since I'm like 10 years old. Who created that?

Peter Angel, I think? Angel? It must have been a Harvard dude, right? I thought it was Engel. Is it Engel? I bet it's not Angel. It's not Engel? I wish it was Angel. angle. This question was angel.

David, angel or angel? David, David, David, David Angel. Is it really Angel? No. Yes. Yeah. So let me see why I knew his name a little bit. You know why? Yeah. Wait, why did he do so? Is he bad? Is he a bad guy? No, no.

No. No. So, okay, he was an American screenwriter and television producer known for his works in sitcoms. He won multiple Emmy awards as the creator and EP of the sitcoms Wings and Frasier. Heading home from their vacation on Cape Cod, Angel and his wife, Lynn,

and then what do you think is the next part of this? Those of you who don't know. I hope it's, is it a tandem bicycle thing? No. Then it's probably bad. Do you wanna guess? It is slightly worse than a tandem bicycle. Are they alive still?

I'm not gonna answer that. Did they explode? Yes. They were killed aboard American Airlines Flight 11, the first plane to hit the World Trade Center. What the fuck? The September 11th attacks. No. That is not what I thought was going to happen.

Isn't that crazy? I guess, I mean, it happened. People were on those planes, but you never know, like who invented Frasier and end up on that? And wings. Man. Oh, and wings, which I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. Not to make it, yeah, that's crazy.

He went to Providence College. He didn't even go to Harvard. I would have assumed Harvard. Yeah, I mean, I've talked about it on the show, but I thought they were all British guys the whole time I was watching that show as a kid. Yeah, they talk British as hell. I thought that they but I thought they were all British guys the whole time I was watching that show. It was the kids. Yeah, they talk British as hell.

I thought that they had a British accent. Did they have accents? Boston Brahmin. Boston Brahmin. Well, yeah, like, Frasier kind of talks like, you know, he's in a theatrical performance of like, King Lear. Yeah. Right. And then David Allen Pierce, you know, he's like a bit, he's more accessible, but he's still stuffy. And then John Mahoney is like, you know, it's David Hyde Pierce.

And you can confuse him with David Allen Greer, which does make me want to see. Buddy, that would be the funniest. That's a mashup. They're not so far apart. They're not as far apart. David Allen Greer could have played that role. Oh my God. David Allen Greer could have played Black Frasier easily.

Dude, that's the show. If Frasier lived with Dad. I would love to see David Allenagre reinvent Frasier tomorrow. He's one of the funnier people in real life. I saw him looking at a travel pillow at a Hudson News, and I cracked up laughing. He was just like looking at it. He's like a Shakespearean actor too.

Yeah, he went to Yale. Yeah, he went to Yale. He went to Yale, yeah. Dad could do it all. Frasier, it's an excellent pick. It does where you're like, there are those shows where you're like, huh, okay. Yeah, it's interesting to be a part of a world

and then be like, oh, I could absolutely never do that. Like, what would I contribute to Frasier? I wrote a sample script where I tried to write a character. I was like, okay, this guy's Frasier. This guy's like the Frasier of this situation. And it's hard to write it. It is, I mean, like, honestly, like, if I was in the room, I'd be like, oh, I'm pretty sure he plays laser tag. What are you? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sean, join me. I like that. I'll be your second and third picks. So this is a tough one. This is where your writing skills,

you're gonna have to come into play because I'm gonna word it. It's gonna be wordy. But watching any man over 65 try to fathom why somebody wants their pronouns to be they them. That makes me go, hmm, why do they care? And because I just saw it happen a few times where a couple older dudes, they didn't get upset but they're just like, why? What the they them?

I don't get it. And I'm like, why do you care? It just it's it's a it's an interesting thing to me to watch. Yeah. Cause I just don't understand why it would matter to anyone what somebody wants their pronouns to be. But then you see these old dudes, it's always an older guy. And they're like, I just don't get it. And you're like, what?

Who cares though? Why? I think in any of that kind of reaction, the world they grew up in is baked into that experience. And it's like, and I think we're so trained, especially as men, and I think it tends to happen more in men, but it also definitely happens in women. I think we're so trained to deal with pain

and not make a fuss about it. You know what I mean? It's just you deal with it. You get through it, you deal with it, stop whining. That any time anyone in any way tries to ask for a better world for themselves, oftentimes the knee-jerk reaction is like, well, why should they?

Because I never got, even a privilege, if it's an older white dude who has a million dollar house Even that guy has his shit. He gritted his teeth and got through you know Yeah, like in his life whatever that is even if it pales and compares them to the experience of being you know a Transperson going through the world or whatever so I you know not funny at all, but I do think that no no Yeah, sorry. This is just I honestly with this thing. It's it's it does make me go like like why? Why do you care so much? It's so it's it's annoying and also is just like very confusing but I get it

But I but I also think it is like people like as they age Especially like what you get past like 60 kind of enter this like second childhood where you kind of revert a little back to where you were growing up and being like, why are things changing? And you like, you'll see it. I see with my parents like at restaurants where they're like $10 for a milkshake, like in like all that stuff. It's the same thing. Their anger is that they are, they're not 12 anymore. And the world has left them behind a little bit. Yeah.

It is true. My mom will go out to eat and she'll be like, everything's $15. I'm like, that's what it is? I mean, we're in Sioux Falls. I don't know if you go to LA, if you think it gets cheaper, mom, but it is, this is the lowest it gets.

Yeah, I mean, like all of a sudden we went to sleep one day I don't know if you go to LA if you think it gets cheaper, Mom, but this is the lowest it gets. Yeah, I mean, like, all of a sudden we went to sleep one day and then we woke up and hamburgers cost $20. Have you gone to see what a foot-long sandwich at Subway costs these days? It's like nine bucks. Fucking shake it to your core. Really? Yeah, dude.

Yeah, that was like the first fast food place to fall off for dude. Yeah. I thought that was the one thing we could rely on. That was like the first fast food place to fall off for me. Yeah. Yeah, subway, cause the $5 foot long was so important. Yeah. Yeah, what a dream come true. Those days are a bygone era. So yeah, that just, you know, I understand that's not the funniest on the comedy podcast,

but it really does. It's interesting to me, cause these dudes aren't mad about it. They're just confused. and then it confuses me as to why they're so confused and can't just let it be. But that all makes sense what you just said. It doesn't have to be funny. It's important when you're saying it.

This is where the P-bodies roll in. That's right. And it makes you say hmm. It doesn't make you say hmm. And then. It makes the old guys say hmm. What you're picking is your reaction to something that makes them go hmm. Layers, bro. Layers, uh. It makes the old guys say hmm. What you're picking is your reaction to something that makes them go hmm.

Layers, bro. Layers, dude. Layered Hamilton, too. Next pick. That guy's stacked. Stacked. Layered? Anyone named Layered.

I'd like to see a weak Layered. Anyway, third pick, Crypto. Makes me go hmm. That's good. Yeah, let's go. I don't get it, I don't get it. It's been explained to me. Ian's explained it to me. Makes me go hmm. I don't get it. I don't get it. It's been explained to me.

Ian's explained it to me. I've had so many people explain it to me. I just don't like that. I can't have done a great job because I barely understand. Nobody does. That's what I'm saying. Even people who like claim to get it. I'm like, I don't know.

I still don't know what you're talking about, bro. I have. I printed out 13 VMs from a friend that I think he and Alpha knows, where he explained the entire blockchain to me. And I have looked at it close to 20 times. Who sent it? Was it someone we were at the Late Late Show with? It was Adam Abramson.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. And like, he, he was like, now's the time to do it. And like, I was already pissed off at crypto because when I worked at Fox ADHD, when Heather and Campbell made like $13,000 on crypto and I was like, this is stupid. And then I saw her make $13,000 and I was like, I'm an idiot. I hate crypto forever. And then I was like, Oh, you know what?

I'm open to hearing about crypto. I'm like, honestly, I, I just give you $100 so you don't never talk to me about this again. I know I'm going to lose my, like here, my social security. Poor Adam Abramson got like the entire Late Late Show, this was after you'd gone, but like the entire Late Late Show Executive Office in on like, it might've been NFTs, but it was definitely crypto something.

And it was like right before it took a massive dive. So then all of his bosses, he was the dude who had like been like the, okay, let me hook you up on this one. Like, so all of the executive producers and James, none of them put a lot of money in, they just did it for fun, but it was like, he just got them all hooked and then it took a huge dive.

Poor Abo. That dude is on like, I love that guy, I think he's brilliant. He also seems so stressed out about the crypto stuff all the time. Anytime I talk to him about it, I'm like, oh man. Well, it's always like a day away from just completely blowing up in your face, I think.

Like even if you were making money, it can just, you could wake up and your hard drive goes missing and then you're like, oh, that was $2 billion. It's terrifying. I, you know, plenty of criticisms for capitalism and economies chained to countries, but I do like knowing that the US military

is standing behind like a dollar that I have in my pocket. Like ultimately, the reason this works is because we have more aircraft carriers than the rest of the world combined. Like I mean, like I know that, what is like with Bitcoin, and I know that's immoral, I understand that, but so is life. And Bitcoin, I'm like, I don't know

what's standing behind this. A bunch of other dudes wearing fashion sneakers? What are we talking about? I barely understand, I barely understand why they can't just go print as much money as they want. I barely understand that. That we have to have enough to like back up the money that we print. So if I barely understand real tangible money, there's no way crypto is ever getting through there. There's no way. The thing that I really confused me about crypto is because they said it's like finite.

There's only certain amounts. But then there was like people who had like Bitcoin monokers. Yeah, like servers. Yeah. Where are you getting those from? Are those part of the finite amount? Like it made no sense to me. It just still doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah. Is this my they them? Where I'm like, I don't know. I don't. Bitcoin just doesn't. It might be. Because it doesn't make sense to me, but. Yeah. Is this my they them where I'm like, I don't know. I don't, Bitcoin just doesn't. It might be, because it doesn't make sense to me either. It never will, it never will either. I got some money on me. Yeah.

See, I don't even know, yeah. Well, hook me up, or get Abo to hook me up. Either way, I want free money, so if we can make that happen. All right. Yeah, yeah, let's work on that. Whoever can give me free money, that'd be big. Sean O'Connor, time for your third pick.

You know, this is something that makes me go, hmm, is some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses. And... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yo, let's go, that's so funny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That just makes me go, hmm.

Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That line made you feel so smart in 1999. Oh my God. Oh my God. I felt brilliant. I had the fucking poster.

I had the poster in my room of nuns holding guns, raging against the machine. Like I was like fucking reading Howard Zinn on top of it. Yeah. And now you do what they taught you. Yeah. That literally, like, it brings me back. Hearing that for the first time, I truly was like,

like I did the thinking man statue. Oh. Yeah. I never f***ing water. Hmm. I guess that is true. He's he's right. He's right.

Right. It's actually interesting because I do think like in all media of like the 90s, that is not there was so much like copaganda that like everyone kind of loved cops. Yeah. They were the now it's kind of the opposite where no one likes cops. It's all, I'm gonna say, Rage Against the Machine did a good job

of bringing that to at least white kids in cargo shorts. Absolutely, they were ahead of the curve. They were, they weren't alone in that, but they were definitely ahead of the curve. It's always funny to see people who- What a name too, really, right on the nose. Rage against them, it could not be more on the nose. Like, kind of crazy.

It's perfect for like 12 to 22 year olds. Yeah. And then the moment you hit 30, you're like, oh, come on, guys. Yeah. Come on, man. I didn't even think about it when I was a kid. I was like, rage, we'll just call him rage. I thought the name was too long when I was a kid. I was like, when we're doing that, I didn't even get it.

If their name was I don't have to call you dad, it wouldn't be it wouldn't be much different. I mean, that's the subtext of the whole. And now you do it what Rick taught you. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

It's always funny when like thin blue line types will like, you know, we'll find out the, oh, Rage has woken now, like, or whatever. They're like one of those things that like, they will listen to. It's like, did you not listen to any of the music? It was literally all, I don't think they had

songs that weren't about activism. It was all activism. Like as a kid, I just kind of liked how hard it went, but like it really is just, they didn't have like one fun pop song. Like they didn't have a breakup song. No. That would be a hard word.

Breakup. What are they breaking up with? I would like to hear, I would like to hear I would like to hear a Reggie machine breakup song. I guess that's Limp Bizkit They're better than Limp Bizkit, Tom Morello's amazing, Zach DelaRosha, they're great. They're awesome. Bulls on parade That's another great song great gym music. That was my first exposure to Rage was like, we need like music for the weight room kind of thing. It is funny that like for some reason, every like Gen X bro fucking loved this band that is against everything that they were like, make her for.

Yeah, yeah. Because the lyric, it ain't, I mean Rage was the closest thing to rap that would like, it was like spoon feeding me into this music that I didn't think counted, because it was only Snoop, Dre, and Tupac for most of my middle school. And then Rage came around, I was like, okay.

All right, all right. Well, when you hear what they do, now you do what they told you. Even if Zach Dale wrote you, when he says they, means like the police or the powers of the bee, if you're listening, that could just be your manager at Hagen's. Or you know, or QFZ. You do what they told you even if Zach Dale wrote you when he says they means like the police or the powers that be If you're listening that could just be your manager at Hagan's. Oh, yeah

Strong about it could be your dad it all you can be traffic lights I just like you take the crosses and forces take it or leave it. It's the yeah now you do what they told you That's the part that resonates. Uh-huh You would you feel like a coward when you're listening to it? You're like, oh no, I gotta go I gotta go beat someone up. Yeah They told me I'm a mark That's amazing David time for your third pick this one was actually referenced a second ago, which is a bummer

But I'm still gonna do it. I'm doing It's like whatever I say designer athleisure Specifically like those Balenciaga sneakers. Oh, it's like what the what is this? Yeah, what is this? I will pay exorbitant prices for Nikes But that's because I know they have a campus in Oregon with a bunch of science freaks on the Air Max team devoted to Helping me walk better. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I'll pay for that technology I can't do it. I can't wear Louis Vuitton basketball shoes. It doesn't make any sense

I Apparently they're terrible like as as a athletic shoe to which of course Anyone wear them are there any athletes that are like on Louis Vuitton or anything? Didn't somebody like PJ Tucker somebody like in a game once tried to wear One pair and he did it for like a quarter and took them off. It was something like that. His feet are just balls of blood. It's like climbing shocks.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, what are we do? Why are we allowing them over here? The whole point of being over here was that it wasn't over there. Right, exactly. You gotta be over here.

Yeah. Right, like, you gotta be over here. Yeah. Yeah. Why are we letting these fucking weirdos into the party? I find it borderline offensive. You know what I mean? Where I'm like. It sucks. Yeah, it's like, oh, you'll wear sneakers,

but they have to be Balenciaga, all these layers. The whole point of being able to get a pair of Jordans was like, originally know, originally, they're like, they're not luxury shoes. They're fairly affordable. Also to pretend like you play like Michael Jordan. Yeah. That was the point.

Who are you pretending to be in your Balenciaga? I've never seen Louis Vuitton cross anybody up. Fuck no. I cross over like Jason Balenciaga. It's just like, it's just like this thing of like. At least in there, probably lying to us somewhat. What? But I always believed in athleisure. I believed in what Nike was saying.

This is moisture tech. This is dry. This is dry. I'm with all those technologies. I believed there's air pockets in the shoes. And now we're just letting designers come over here and do that. I hate the Louis Vuitton collabs, all that stuff. Like even when Nike does that, I'm like, stop it, man. Like, I don't know.

It seems like a money grab and you don't need more money. Go ahead, Sasha. Oh, sorry. No, no. But I think David, you hit the nail on the head with like Nike actually does have a team of scientists to kind of increase your performance. And Louis Vuitton does not have that. They're just using like a more expensive type of leather. Yeah. And like, it's crazy. It's also not cool. Like I like I want to wear the same shoe. It's like, you know, like Luca Donchik or the Greek Creek. I don't care to dress like Robert Pattinson I am more similar in body type to Nicole. Yokich or Luca Donchik, especially lately than I would ever be to Robert Pattinson

It's I can see myself in some Charles Barkley It's so bizarre and it's taking everything I liked away from athleisure Yes, it's just this weird. I'm leasures cool to it's cool to pretend like you're an athlete. That's the fun. I don't And it's especially weird as the streams get crossed where it's like, okay Pharrell is the you know, like creative director of Louis Vuitton now or whatever So the streams are getting crossed and all that stuff, but it just feels, it still feels like, hey, what do you, like you said, what are you doing over here?

Stop. Yeah, I don't want you over here. Yeah. It just, it sucks. It sucks. Also, I never see a pair where I'm like, boy, I wish I had those, you know? I always see them and I'm like, huh,

that's what it makes me go, hmm. Huh, there's always like those Balenciagas, there's cooler pairs of like A6 and you know, Siconis and like all that stuff. The Louis Vuitton, there's like, I would rather be wearing a nice pair of Jordan 1s or whatever, you can get those with nice leather by the way. Right. Yeah.

Whatever. Time for my third and fourth picks. My third pick is, what happened to ugly actors? Brother, come on, let's go. I watch stuff. You're going crazy right now. This should be an ugly person. Why is this role being played

by an attractive person right now? And you go watch movies from the past and they are chock, not just ugly supporting actors, you'll get yourself a fucking ugly lead actor in a lot of these movies. I love an ugly lead actor. Who do we, like Barry Keele, right? To go back to Sabrina Carpenter. That should be an ugly actor.

I know people think he's cute or whatever, but now he's getting like little subtle work done, he's getting his lips plumped, he's getting all this stuff, he's showing up and like- His eyes are shining. Right. His eyes are sparkly. Let that man, like, let that man be ugly. Feed that man fucking 90 martinis a week

and let that man be ugly. He's an amazing actor. I want to be ugly Ugly people do stuff. We're like pretending like there's no ugly people. It's frustrating. Yeah I mean like I'm all all in on this because like I just watched like the verdict from 1982 Yes, Paul Newman's the lead and he looks like Paul Newman and he's like that's looking good But everyone else is just so regular and it sells the entire premise so much better that these are like, Oh, that guy's like me. Yeah.

I would love to be friends with Paul Newman. Yeah. I got more extra hours to help this man. Yeah. So good looking. But when everyone looks like Paul Newman, it stops mattering. Nobody looks like Paul Newman, but when everyone's in that neighborhood, you know?

It's just, I take it out of actors. I take it to everything, musicians. Yeah, oh yeah. We just need, like, it's crazy to, like, if that starts to be a metric, nobody's ever gonna be good at anything. Nobody looks like Adam Duritz. Because you know when you meet people,

you're like, they're good at it for a hot guy. Yeah, for a hot, right, for a hot guy. Even comedy, I mean, it's happening in comedy too, of course, we see it all the time. It is happening bad in comedy right now. Now, I do wonder if everyone under, this actually going to spoil one of my picks, but like, it does seem like every young person

now is so hot. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like everyone's kind of elevated their game a little bit. Like when you like I met like a 26 year old stand up and he was like he was so beautiful and I'm like, oh, you dress cool. And I'm like, when I was 26, I was literally wearing, like, you know, like, an oversized, goofy hoodie

and, like, a world's greatest dad shirt. Dude, we looked like shit. I looked like an asshole when I was 26. But that was, it was like, it was, it was that, so who it was for? Like, you were supposed to look like we looked. It was a lot of people barely hanging out, a lot of people who really needed this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is what, this is keeping you away from hard drugs, stand up. People all have like therapy normalized for them and they're like doing ketamine instead of, you know, getting blackout drunk. Yeah, none of them smoked. None of them. And they all have, they all got their teeth fixed. Yeah.

Like, cause that's another huge problem with everyone being so beautiful on movies. Everyone has rich people teeth now. So, there's no way to show property. I think part of your, all young people are hot now. Fashion trends are like so ugly. I think, and I kind of think like on purpose, that it creates a bit of a contrast

where like even the hottest people are dressing ugly. So then if a regular person is dressing kinda ugly and that's the style, then they look better in comparison? Yes. That was gonna be one of my picks was along those lines. And it is, I think it's true where you're like, God, you look so horrible, but your face is perfect.

If everybody's wearing jorts, like jorts are what hot young people are wearing now. Dude, yes. Long jorts. There is like a whole movement of like, like 20 something dudes wearing like paintball jerseys. It's like, as like. Yeah, yeah. Like the ugly things.

Billy, I like dresses like kids I didn't like in middle school. For like. Dude. And I didn't like. Like I remember those kids, they sucked. They put way too much ranch on their pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She dresses like a bully.

Yeah, like she dresses like the first kid you know who smokes cigarettes. Yep. You know when I knew it had gone too far? It was this summer with the No Ugly Actors. They were like, it's rat boy summer because of Challengers. And it was it was like Mike Feist and I think Josh O'Connor.

And some people even said, Timothy Chalamet, they're like, they're not conventionally attractive. They were like rats. He looks like they're conventionally attractive. Yes. Challengers is like the sexiest movie. Chalamet's face is shaped like a heart. That's like one of the few things I retained from my college psychology course. The moment I saw Timothy Chalamet for the first time, I remember turning to my wife and being like,

that guy got blown when he was swell. Like, he had... He's perfect looking. He's perfect looking. Yeah, like there's no awkward phase that happened to Timothy Chalamet. Rat boy summer. Rat boy. And boy and that contrast that look let's just go back to like 1992 and talk about the cast of Reservoir dogs, right? Not a good-looking person to be found

They were sturdy looking it looked like they could hunt and gather those kind of dudes Harvey Keitel Tim Roth Chris Penn They're hunting gather those kind of dudes. Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Chris Penn, Steve Buscemi, Michael Madsen, Lawrence Tierney. Who's the best looking one? Tim Roth? Who is not? I think Michael Madsen. Maybe Michael Madsen.

He has like the slick back hair, he's kind of like. And he has the voice. He's cool. But now Tim Roth in the rest of the world. Tim Roth is handsome because he has an accent that we can't even hear Even before he gets shot. He kind of looks like he's suffering from rabies None of them look like their parents are married

Actors all look like their parents are still together They all look like their parents put their past due mortgage payments in their cribs next to them or something. Yeah, yeah, that's it for sure looked like that. Get worried about this. Um, and I'm just, it's, you know, whatever. I'm like, I think we still want ugly actors. What's going on? I want normal people, like, you know, what ugly norm- all of everyone. I want them all, like, why, why, you all. Of course there's hot people, but yeah.

You know what we need to do? We were talking about at the beginning. This is why we need Joey Fatone's. Yeah, give me some Shermanators. We need more fat ones. Deadpool and Wolverine, I don't think there's an, I'm looking at the highest grossing movies of this year. That movie made me mad.

But there's not an ugly person in there. No. No, they're all hot. They're all hot. They're all hot. I will say the opening credits of Deadpool and Wolverine put me in such a funk for the first hour of the movie. I was like, I made a mistake. Why did I move to LA?

Why did I take a career in comedy? I was so bummed out. But they're also very good looking. Good for them. They're great looking. I like bye bye bye by insects. Ryan Reynolds makes me hate comedy, and I know it's not nice or fair, but he makes me hate it.

Oh yeah, dude. Makes me hate funny stuff. Okay, let's go, the movie, okay, let's go Twisters. I'm sorry for spending so much time on this one topic, but it's just vexing to me. Let's go Twisters, made this year. Glenn Powell's the most handsome person in movies right now.

Truly like. Gorgeous. He's so hot and like he's so well put together. And Daisy Edgar Jones is also just like so pretty and like. Wild. Helen Hunt is a beautiful woman, but she is not as she's beautiful in a much more realistic way than Daisy Edgar Jones is Yes, it's a unique face and Bill Patson kind of looks like your friend's dad that you can't really trust

Like and then like if you look at like the people like in there in their crews Right, like in the first twister you had Philip Seymour Hoffman You had fucking Alan ruck who is not a good looking man tornado chasers you had you had Yeah, you had motherfuckers that were chasing tornadoes and they look at Todd field You had like weird looking dudes and in this one, it's you know, it's Anthony Ramos, you know, like he's a great-looking guy Yeah, oh, he's way hot. The guy from TV on the radio. Literally the next guy playing Superman,

David Cornsweat is like, is one of the other dudes in Twister, it's like, come on, come on, where are the ugly people supposed to fit in? The tornado saw to it that they didn't make it. That's right. So that's my third pick, and I'm gonna do my fourth pick right after. We take a short break.

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I tweeted it earlier last night, but it's been something that's been haunting me lately, which is Why don't we have night bakeries? Why have bakeries been consigned just to the early morning Every fifth one should be a night bakery. You can really only get donuts at night It's just donuts, it's cookies, you know like crumble cookies or whatever. When they're old.

But those all take like, you know, and those are old, but it also takes like, you know, cookies are easier to make. A croissant, people who work at bakeries, they wake up at like famously 3 a.m. to go in and start the day. So the bread can be ready to get in the morning, and I understand that, but what about a bakery?

Where you don't roll, where the people who work there don't roll in until like 9 a.m. Start working then, and then I can get a fresh croissant, or a scone, or whatever, like in the evening, after dinner, or for like an afternoon snack. How come? How come? It doesn't seem like you would be that much work

to push the clock back a little bit. Feels like it'd be easy bit feels like you go radio style I mean like yeah, the people get up at three barrier Howard Stern's. Yeah, but then there are Radio doesn't stop at 3 p.m Get it keeps going just hire a different name. Just yeah bring another bakery guy. Yeah, we're gonna have time Well drive time Baker I should there's been time? Well, drive time, Baker? I should, there's been so, so like on my street, there's Proof Bakery, which is like this amazing bakery,

but they close at like three every day. And I often find myself like after, you know, we have dinner at home and we're out for a walk, the only dessert options available are ice cream. And I'm like, you know what would be really good right now is like a piece of cake or something like that or a scone or whatever But there's no way to get it for some reason Yeah baked goods have been consigned to the morning. I don't understand it

Yeah, you gotta like buy one at noon and want to have it at six. You know, like yeah I don't want a croissant from noon and six hours later. I like that foresight And I like the restraint. Yeah, I don't think the foresight, I feel like, yeah, I feel like desserts are kind of more of a whim on a whim type of thing. Anyway, so I'm like, I don't wanna plan out that I'm going to have cake that night.

I want my journey to take me to cake. I want a whimsical cake journey in the evening. Right, exactly. It's hard to feel like I went a whimsical cake journey in the evening. Right, exactly. It's hard to feel like it's a spur of the moment treat when you planned it eight hours earlier. Yeah, you can't just pop in and get a piece of cake. Where you can't be at seven o'clock like, well, fuck, I guess I'll have this cake

I knew I was gonna have at nine a.m. today. You can't look at your partner and be like, should we go get cake? It's like, I know you bought cake at two. Yeah, I mean, truly, like, I think the beauty of taking it as a whole is being like, ooh, I'm feeling bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're removing that bad, but if you plan on that.

Yeah, I'm feeling. David, time for your fourth pick. I've been noticing this because I haven't been drinking, but I've been getting ads for it, which is concerning. NA Liquor. Oh, yeah. Liquor? What?

Oh, let me get some piss water. That's not gonna get me drunk. It's like the whole point of the experience. It's just like one of the benefits, for me at least, of cutting out drinking is not tasting liquor in you. Not having to force liquor down your throat. It's it's prevalence. Best part.

Right. It makes me realize that there were people who were drinking for different reasons than me. Uh, truly. But it's also like, I feel like I would overindul like, like are people taking shots of NA? Like they can't be. I don't think so and if you're taking a shot of NA liquor You might be a little too close

Yeah You might not be sober, yeah It's mostly to like sit with a cube in and like have like a night like it's the ritual or so then yeah But I I'm with you it makes me go. Hmm. I feel I am like oh, I'm not like that Yeah, it's just like every time I see it. I'm like have a you And I haven't had a drink since I guess since tour either. I have like haven't like Where we barely drank anyway, but I haven't been drinking it since, I guess since tour either. I've like haven't like, where we barely drank anyway,

but I haven't been drinking it all this summer. And I'm never, the flip side of this coin is restaurants having mocktails or whatever. Or non-alcoholic. I love that. I do too, I like to have a good time. Those are fun, those are fun juices. Those fucking rule.

When people say they like, and this is a, I've had discussion with a lot of people, when they say they're like, no, I love a good, I just love a good rye whiskey. And it's like, I don't believe you that you only like the taste. I believe that you can tolerate the taste and you maybe even don't mind the taste, but I will never fully believe that somebody likes it. I think you tolerate it because you're also catching a buzz. You're getting drunk. Well, you're like, oh you're like say it out loud Don't lie to me in the framework of getting a buzz. This does taste good But yeah, I haven't drinking like six months and like I don't the taste is not

Wretched and I understand again. There's an appreciation for like a decent bourbon or where you're like, oh, it's it's like a smoke There's hints to it, but I'm like, you do not, in your core, you don't think it tastes fantastic. I just don't ever believe it. I would always rather have a Dr. Pepper. I do like the taste of a Scotch. I don't believe you. You like the taste of a Scotch.

Earnestly, I do. He likes it. It's alcohol, it burns going down. I like the burn. You don't like the burn? No. Oh, interesting. That's alcohol, it burns going down. I like the burn. You don't like the burn? No. Oh, interesting. That's interesting, because you drink stuff with more burn.

Yeah. Like you're never drinking away when you're trying to escape the burn. You're like, no, I'll drink black velvet warm from the bottle. Well that was broke. I like the burn coupled with that buzz. If the buzz, if the effect of the alcohol isn't there,

there's absolutely zero point to me to drinking. I would never ever drink it for just to be like the taste. Ever. I like the taste, but I'm also weird. I like the taste of Malort. I really like like weird botanicals and like those medicinal flavors and stuff like that. So.

You wanna hurt a little bit. Yeah. I just kinda like the experience. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. I don't know what it is yeah we're just all different people are different like I wish I wish I could like every time I drink scotch immediately makes me feel like for some reason any brown liquor makes me want to like grow up yeah so. So I, I, and I don't really drink anymore, but like, uh, when I do, I was always going vodka, which I hate the taste of, but I could drink a lot of it.

It's like the least invasive though. Yeah. Yeah. Tastes like paper. So does, uh, my friend's dad when we were kids told us vodka is for alcoholics. Had Jordan, had Jordan would drink about a handle a day. He was an alcoholic. He sure was. He sure was. The man about a handle a day. He was an alcoholic

The man was a lot of okay, I guess no vodka but also maybe not beers in the car while we're driving That's a great pick Sean O'Connor time for your fourth pick. All right so I've kind of hinted at this but the thing that makes me go is anyone born after 1997? Yeah, and I, I get it. I like it. I like that you have your own things. I even like when you teach me new slang and stuff. I think that's all cool. But like, I'm still I'm still very suspicious of you. Yeah, you know that you learned about about 9 11 like years after I did.

Isn't saying you didn't see the 96 Olympics. It's crazy. It's insane. And like I do I do actually I like I was just in a room with like a 25 year old and he's so cool. I really like him. However, I spent with a whole room spent three hours explaining corn to him. That's just unacceptable. How can you know what country you live in if you don't understand corn?

Hold on. Act like I'm that kid. Explain corn to me real quick. How is it going? OK, so like, all right, like they were kind of After Nirvana there was a gigantic hole left in the hard rock Okay, with the horn came around and cord they were like all bullied and they had weird hair and all their songs were like homophobic, but they weren't Okay, I get it. I get it. Yeah. Maybe he's just kind of like, I don't know, like Clinton made America an appearance for a while.

They were, they were also like if Rick Rubin dressed a bunch of goth kids or something. Yes. One of their leads, one of them had all the sex for all six members of five members of the band. So they fucked average for a rock band, but it was Jonathan Davis having all of it, I feel like. I don't think Monkey. Monkey wasn't getting in there. Yeah, Monkey or Head. Was Peely in there? They were, yeah, they were kind of like slipknot, but without the masks, but they should have had masks.

But Jonathan Davis also got range too. Guy can sing. Yeah, he can say, boom, knock, knock. Or he can even say, boom, knock. The Freakin' Olisha music video is like legit full. The slow motion bullet just going through stuff. It's like. Yeah. That was when they were still doing making the video.

You can probably find it somewhere. They'll show you behind the scenes. They're from Bakersfield and that makes a lot of sense. That makes sense. Yeah. Jeez. Oh, I get it. They're from, you know what county Bakersfield was in?

Kern. Is that true? Yeah. Is that true? Is it really? I wonder if that's got anything to do with it. I wouldn't be surprised. That's crazy. Kern doesn't sound like a good bandit. It cannot be a shout out to their county. Who reps their county?

You just see everything about Forintiboo. It's in Kern County. I kind of think it has to have something to do with it. I bet it's the county seat. I would almost, yes it is. It's the county seat of Kern County. All right. It makes that so much less cool. And we're already starting at very uncool.

His microphone was shaped like a woman. It had tits, his microphone had breasts. He started the kilt movement. He did, yeah, yeah, yeah. I listened to a lot of Korn back in the day. Boy how. So much. I couldn't. Boy, oh boy. I dabbled, I was still.

Oh man, I have, I think if you look at like my eighth grade notebooks, I wrote the word dabble, that was still. Oh man, I think if you look at my eighth grade notebooks, I wrote the word chord with a gigantic R so many times. Backwards, right? And when there are backwards? Yeah, backwards are. We had to make a family crest, and I think I still have this somewhere

to introduce ourselves. The corn mills? Just for ourselves, not for the carmels. It was just like, for you, what are a picture of you, and then what are the things about you, personality traits and yada, y know, not for the Carmel's. It was just like for you, what are a picture of you and then what are the things about you, like personality traits and yada, yada, yada. And what kind of music do you like? And mine had corn and Rage Against the Machine on it.

Awesome. Awesome. You let him know. I think I was wearing a Winnie the Pooh hat in my picture. Yeah, I don't want those to get in there. Sean, your fourth pick, and then we'll do a lightning round for the last round. Well, when I see a Best Buy still in business, it really makes me go, hmm. And kind of like the way that Sean did it, where it's not necessarily a, I don't get it, it's almost an I don't get it. And a little bit of it's like, okay, good for them.

We need some. We gotta have, you're right, we gotta have some, but I feel like Best Buy is now, and maybe this is like a loose pivot on the pick, but Best Buy has completely altered, I think, what they, like, it's like lawn washes and dryers and stuff. It's not, you know. I know, but people weren't.

Yeah, they always have that. You just don't care about appliances. Were they going there for that. Yeah Yeah, I thought it was like DVDs and all that like PCR is a DVD player 30% of the business is but whoever it were in 2004 Shirt crew here guys guys here. I guys. That was a coveted job. I always wished I could work at Best Buy. Adam was a manager, man. He got a severance the whole nine.

I used to open their credit cards for folks when I worked at HSBC. That'll wreck it. Oh yeah, I used to lie about those credit cards to sell people on them. Like I did too. So did I. So did I.

You did too. Oh my God, what interest, right? I wouldn't worry about that for a couple months at least. I don't know. Well, you got 12 months. Yeah. Yeah. You'll be watching Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross on this thing

way before you get any of those entrance payments. I mean, they've definitely moved from the software to the hard stuff more. It's all TVs, speakers. It's a bunch of e-bikes in there. I went there like a few weeks ago. I will say that Portland's Best Buys maybe are in the lower tier of the country's Best Buys these days

because there's like a couple on 82nd and they just look, they just look, when you buy you're like crazy because it's not, it's armed guards and stuff like that. You're like, oh it's a little different than it used to be. I bet you the one out in Beaverton is still doing well. I bet if you go to one in the suburbs, it's doing a little bit better.

Yeah, some of them I think are still nice. I went to one in, I was in Detroit the other day, and I went to a Best Buy. Well, did you need like some printer ink? I was killing time. I was there a day early and Laura flew in, so I just found them all, you know how it goes. I do really do that.

A Detroit Best Buy. You know who's back? Barnes and Noble. Eminem back. I thought you were gonna say Circuit City. No. Barnes and Noble was like, I just went to one the other day, fuckin' hacked.

Hacked. Hacked. There's always a lot of people in Barnes and Noble. I do feel that way. There is always a lot of people in Barnes and Noble. I've been to one in LA and one to Chicago in the last like two weeks, and they were both like packed to the gills.

I mean, I'm at the town center one three times a week when I'm in town. And it's all, yeah. Do you ever go buy your book and just kinda like, huh? Oh yeah, I'll pull it out. Do you sign it? Do you do a little sign? No, but I move.

I've done this before. This is my own individual prank where I will take my book, walk over the new and noteworthy section, and put it in front of Moshe Kasher's book. Yep. Yes. Always. He's not missing any meals.

No, he'll be all right. I've only done it twice, but I do think it's funny. I will tell him about it. No, twice is a bit. Yeah, twice is a bit. Once a prank, twice a bit. Best Buy's being run. And will tell him about it. No, twice as a bit. Yeah, twice as a bit. Once a break, twice a bit. Best Buy's being run. And Sean, your final pick.

Turtlenecks. All right. Hell yeah. Yeah. I honestly, the uniform of, hmm. Yeah. It's up his clothes. Yeah.

Yeah, it's questionable for a number of reasons. Is that comfy? What are you hiding? Who told me that looked good? Another one? Hickeys. A sub, hmm reasons is that comfy? What are you hiding? Who told me that look good another one? Sub a sub hmm hickeys. What are you doing? So yeah turtlenecks man? Isaac says I feel attacked. I don't know that I've seen you in a turtle. I have a turn. I wear a lot of turtlenecks During the winter I wear a lot of turtlenecks I feel those turtleneck s la winners you wear a lot of turtleneck Talk with Laura, I think I've said it right in front of Dana like some people look amazing in turtlenecks. I I can't stand turtlenecks

I can't stand him. I think it's a deep-rooted thing where I had to wear one We've we've discussed to my orchestra concert when I was six then it scarred me Yeah, that narrow I think you have a narrow not not like you're a very handsome man. You know, I think thank you I appreciate it. But I think they look stupid on everyone Chris pine Big turtleneck guy. I think they look pretty cool on some dudes. Yeah I think the Rock looks awesome in a turtleneck. I think they hate us I feel like muscle dudes pull off turtlenecks really well. I think you have to have a bulkier head I think you want to have a bulkier head. I think you want a bulkier head.

Listen, I can read between the lines. I'll start, I'll put myself in traction, get my neck muscles going. Chris Evans, for example, in Knives Out. Horrible. Is that a turtleneck sweater? He looks great. It's a Billy Crystal one from When Harry Met Sally.

Baby. Dude. Oh, you know what? It's not a tur Like a knives out. I rescind my comment. There's the Billy Crystal one Neither is the Billy Crystal. What's just a big sweater. It's so great. I Ordered a cheap replica of that sweater. It's not a turtleneck. Sorry, Isaac. No the Billy Crystal one Doesn't look like a turtleneck. You think he's Steve Jobs Yes, a lot of people do that. It's a roll neck, roll neck, I'm sorry. Most a mock turtleneck, at most.

Crew neck or hoodie or collar? I'll rock a turtleneck every now and then, the fold over ones and a cashmere, but I got a lot of facial hair, I got a big dome. Those don't count. Wait, you're talking with the little button in front, so it's not a fold around your neck turtleneck? No, that's a cowl neck.

I'm talking about a turtleneck, dude. That's what a cowl is? Next time you see me, I'm gonna be wearing a turtleneck, no pants, dude. Okay. Nasty work. You're gonna have to deal with it. You better be in trouble.

I don't know why else he'd be wearing that. Okan, your final pick. You know what? Calling Soda Pop. I don't like it. It makes me go, every time I hear somebody call it pop, I know it's a regional thing. I'm okay with it, but it makes me go, why haven't you adjusted to the rest of the world? My mom thinks I'm arrogant because I call it soda now when I go home and she's like, it's pop.

That doesn't make me arrogant. The 60 unworn pairs of shoes in my shed makes me arrogant. Not calling it soda. David your final pick. This might be just specifically at the one by my house, but people pulling up to the dog park, letting the dog in the park, and staying in the car. That's what? Yeah. Really?

I see it pretty frequently. It's so weird. Oh my God. So weird. I've never even heard of that. It's crazy. That would shake me to my core. What do you have a dog for if you hate it?

Brother, that's why it makes me go, hmm. Yeah. My final one is when I see a tweet that like they're tweeting about everyone But you can tell that they mean a specific person and they should just go talk to that person. Oh Yeah I'm not even you know, what people when people drop you off at your house and kick you out of the car But then like keep your pizza and then they go eat it and say that you never bought a pizza.

So I'm like, you're like, what are you talking about, Derek? They're just like, it's generalized and it makes them seem mad at the world and it makes a lot of people feel bad. And it's like, go talk to your dad. Well, go talk to your girlfriend, man. Like it's, you know, what is this?

You know, just address the thing in your life. Why are we all hearing about this? This is clearly not a thing you've noticed about humanity. Uh, and that's my final pick, which is the final pick of the draft. Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, this, I mean this in a non-judgmental way, but in pornography, the step-family stuff. I'm sorry, I wasn't ready for this stuff. You know, the step-siblings, the stepfamily

The stepfather stepmother like Yet you have a lot of great picks. I mean what I get that I mean, I don't mean it judgmentally whatever but like What's that all about? Why is it? Why is it such a large percentage of porn? Why is it most of porn now? I get it if it's a nice get their tweeters blown. They're looking for weird shit earlier Marketed towards us. It's to the 14 year old who can't stop watching Okay, right about that. It needs to be twisted somehow it needs to like get their nor norepinephrine up. Yeah. Yeah, we all know that. That's what an epinephrine is. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I guess I'm now a thing.

That's what I get is. It's the newer transmitter of excitement, is norepinephrine. You didn't even, why are you explaining that? Now you're condescending to all the... Oh, yeah. I knew what that was. You knew.

I'd like to say that I know what you're talking about, Isaac, but I've never even heard of the step-mom porno movement. So, yeah. She used to be a penephrine, now she's a bore. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying? To recap, Sean Jordan, you went first and you took When I See Milk or Hummus

that says it's expired but doesn't look expired. Watching any man over 65 try to fathom pronouns. Crypto, best spies that are still in business, and turtlenecks all make you go, hmm. Sean O'Connor, you took Sabrina Carpenter. Frasier, some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses. Anyone born after 1997 and using the word pop

to refer to soda. You went third, you took the phrase the blind leading the blind, tandem bicycles, designer athleisure, non-alcoholic liquor, and letting the dog out of the dog park but staying in your car. I went last and I took sparkling water having zero calories when your pet is wet and you don't know why.

The ugly actor epidemic, not having any of them that is. How come we don't have night bakeries? And when somebody tweets something, generally, that is clearly just about one person they should go talk to. Excellent picks all. It's good that we all drafted our stand-up sets. Yeah, we did. You can see us all on the road.

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